Targets of the Dark Force
by Estel Baggins
Summary: The Star Wars trilogy with a living QuiGon, and lots of different challenges than occurred in the Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest series.
1. Snapshots

**Title:** Targets of the Dark Force

**Author:** Estel Baggins

**Rating:** M- pretty high, too, so don't say I didn't warn you!

**Warning 1:** SLASH! Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, Yoda/Mace Windu and other various pairings… possibly a threesome. So if you don't like that sort of thing, **don't read this!**

**Warning 2:** nonspecific references to sexual abuse of a minor (Obi-Wan)

**Warning 3:** angst

**Warning 4:** I'm sure if this qualifies as AU, but it might, so...

**Summary: **As Anakin learns more about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, the more confused he becomes.

**Secondary Summary:** The tale of Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's love.

**A/N:** I've never written for Star Wars before, but I've written in two other fandoms, Lord of the Rings and Static Shock. Please give this first attempt at Star Wars fanfiction a shot and feel free to critique in any way that seems best to you. Flames will be used to build a pyre for Xanatos.

**A/N 2:** Thank you to everyone who offered their suggestions and told me things about the Star Wars universe that I never would have guessed.

Snapshots

Anakin leapt up the ramp onto the Nubian ship, forgetting his exhaustion as he thought of Qui-Gon fighting the demon behind him. Protecting Anakin. Protecting Padme and the others on the starship. Maybe dying to protect them.

He raced down the narrow hall and burst into the cockpit. "Qui-Gon's in trouble! He says to take off!"

A man maybe ten years older than Anakin started giving orders at once. And while he issued his commands, Anakin saw the first snapshot. It bloomed in his mind like a flower and erased the world around him. All he could hear was the rustling of cloth. And all he could see at first was an almost-blinding brightness.

Light flooded in through a high window, sliding across the floor and climbing onto the bed. A shadow crossed in front of the light.

"You've slept late, my young Padawan."

That was all. The image melted like an ice cube in Tatooine's heat. The young man who had been giving orders spun away from the console and sprinted from the cockpit. Anakin followed. Had they rescued Qui-Gon?

As one, the two charged down the hall and burst into the small room where Qui-Gon lay, gasping.

"Are you all right?" Anakin asked.

The young man dropped to one knee at Qui-Gon's side, his eyes intense. "What was it?"

"I don't know." Qui-Gon was gasping slightly.

"What are we going to do about it?" Anakin asked, moving a little closer to Qui-Gon. But if the Jedi Master answered, Anakin lost it in another snapshot.

It was sunlight coming through the high window. The morning was almost past.

"You've slept late, my young Padawan." The shadow reached out and touched his brow. "You're warm. How do you feel?"

Anakin blinked as the vision ran like wrought gold and found himself looking at the young man. _That was Qui-Gon's voice, _he thought, _or at least I think it was. I wish I could be sure. This is probably important. Maybe since Qui-Gon can sense the Force in me maybe he'll be able to tell me what I'm seeing._

From his place still on the floor, Qui-Gon gestured. His lips smiled below troubled eyes. "Anakin, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan, this is Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin gathered his wits, aware that his mother would want him to be polite. "You're a Jedi, too?"

Obi-Wan nodded. His gaze was appraising, curious, a little suspicious. And he kept darting glances at the older Jedi.

Pushing past that forbidding visage, knowing that the only way to get what he wanted was to be forward, Anakin stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Obi-Wan shook hands with him. The younger Jedi unbent enough to offer a half smile.

Anakin glanced at Qui-Gon and saw that he was grinning. Even the look in his eyes had ease. _I guess that I just got a warm welcome._ Anakin stood and watched Obi-Wan help Qui-Gon to his feet. When the two touched, he saw the third snapshot. Wrestling down his fear- where were these visions coming from and what did they mean?- Anakin concentrated on it, determined to figure it out. It was like a troubling lack of power in a Podracer; something he must discover the source of and solve.

Anakin felt sure he was looking through someone's eyes. The sun shone around the dark figure above him like a halo. Anakin felt his own face smile and understood with that amazing intuition he had always possessed that he could feel what the man felt. He realized the man was going to close his eyes and fought against it. But he might as well wrestle with a sandstorm. Darkness surrounded him. But without sight, Anakin became aware of the wrist that had been laid on his forehead. It felt deliciously cool. His mouth opened and he/the person he was living inside said, "I'll be all right, Master. Maybe I just drank too much last night or-"

"Since when do you drink, Obi-Wan? If you were ber'Nac I might believe it."

It was becoming hard for Anakin to tell which were his own thoughts and which were the man's- _Obi-Wan's; I'm inside Obi-Wan's mind_- and which were his own. A shiver passed through him and he thought, _ber'Nac… Yes, I know he drinks._

Qui-Gon was still speaking. "Now be still for a moment while…"

_While you what? _Anakin wanted to demand as the snapshot faded once more.

"Anakin?" Qui-Gon had laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "What's wrong, young one?"

"I…" He swallowed. "It's nothing. I'm all right."

Qui-Gon frowned at him but let it go. He guided Anakin back towards the cockpit. Anakin glanced over his shoulder and saw the younger Jedi shaking his head. But that half smile was still in place.

A minute later, Anakin was listening to the pilot with half an ear. Mostly he was aware of Obi-Wan behind him, apparently reading something on the console in front of him. Anakin showed the pilot what he knew and what he could guess, and accepted the praise, but he felt that he was being judged by the younger Jedi even if the man seemed to have other things on his mind.

Qui-Gon had disappeared for a few moments, perhaps calming the jumpy duck-like creature. Now he entered the cockpit. Striding over to Obi-Wan, he laid his hand on the other man's shoulder as he, too, studied the console's readings.

Anakin furrowed his brow as the dream took over again.

The cool wrist was still on his forehead and the shadowy figure moved closer. He was almost visible. "Now be still for a moment while I…"

Panic bloomed in Obi-Wan's/Anakin's mind. "I can already feel that the Force is stirred around me, Master." A pause, then, "I guess I have some sort of infection." The Obi-Wan's hand lifted. It trembled, which made him feel ashamed, but he pushed past that feeling and touched the man's shoulder. "I'll just rest and-"

"I don't like this warmth. We should go to the Healers."

Panic changed to scrabbling, shaking terror and he rolled away. "No… Master, really, I'm fine. All I need is rest. May I join you in meditation instead of sparring? Perhaps the healing trance will cure me."

The hand on his shoulder was unfailingly gentle. "My young Padawan, you are in pain. Let me help you."

"Please let me meditate at your side, Master," Obi-Wan whispered, his lips barely moving. His whole body was stiff, but more with fear and shame than pain. Though the pain was there, yes, low and pulsing with his heartbeat. "Please. It is the only help I require." He had been able to ignore it until now, to channel his thoughts away from it, but the idea of sparring with Qui-Gon made him feeling slightly sick to his stomach.

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon warned.

"Anakin, did you fall asleep?"

Blackness swallowed the dream. _No, come back! _Anakin screamed mentally at the vision. _Come back! You can't just leave it like that and-_

A familiar hand touched his shoulder. "Anakin, what is it?"

Blinking (_I must resemble a night-bird who is caught in sudden, bright sun,_ Anakin thought) the boy straightened and turned to look up at the Jedi who had freed him. _The same one who disrupted what I was seeing. But at least I know who's in it now._

Qui-Gon was smiling at him, encouraging him. If he was worried- and Anakin sensed that he was, and very much so- he kept it hidden. "Tell me what's wrong, young one." His kind eyes nearly drew the truth from Anakin.

_No, I think I'll hold onto it a little longer. Maybe I'll ask _himHe turned his eyes on Obi-Wan, who was still working at the console. "I'm all right," Anakin said, returning the smile. "I'm fine. Just daydreaming, I guess."

"The Force changed," said Obi-Wan, finally glancing around. He wasn't looking at Anakin, but it was still as if he was blaming the boy somehow.

_He doesn't like me, _Anakin thought. _Why?_

Qui-Gon nodded. "I felt it." He patted Anakin's shoulder and returned to Obi-Wan's side. In a voice that the boy could scarcely hear (he admitted he was focusing hard, straining to hear) the older Jedi asked, "Is there something you wish to discuss, Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Master, but it can wait."

"No time like the present." Qui-Gon led the way out of the cockpit.

Anakin started to follow, but the pilot caught his arm. "I think it's a meeting just between Jedi," he whispered. "They're a secretive bunch, but they saved the Queen, so let them have their secrets. At least they're brave and willing to fight for what's right."

oOo

He was ever at Qui-Gon's side once they reached the Jedi Temple. Sometimes Anakin would be tempted to leave the Jedi, to find Padme, but his determination to solve the mystery kept him at the Master's side more often than not. He hoped for a return of the vision, seeing it now as an unfolding story, but it didn't come every time he was with Qui-Gon. Thinking that perhaps the younger Jedi, something like a junior Jedi, Anakin had learned, was sending him the dream, Anakin started standing close to Obi-Wan when the three of them were together. But the visions didn't always happen then, either.

On the second day after they had made planet-fall, Anakin was sitting against one wall in the training room watching the two Jedi train. Qui-Gon was talking about something called the Living Force, a thing Anakin was just beginning to understand was central the Jedi order. Apparently Obi-Wan still had something to learn about this part of the Force.

_But he's really good, _Anakin thought as Obi-Wan, his eyes closed, parried each of his master's thrown objects, destroying some with his lightsaber and other times sending them in the direction they'd come from. One of them came close to striking Qui-Gon on the head and the older Jedi laughed even as he ducked.

"Is that your way of telling me you're done with this exercise?" he asked.

Anakin noticed that Obi-Wan relaxed considerably when he was working with his master. Now the padawan grinned, an expression Anakin hadn't seen on his face yet, and answered, still defending himself with his eyes closed, "No, Master. I'm only sensing the nearest living force and sending my missiles in that direction." A large cushion clipped Qui-Gon on his hip. "How am I doing?"

A door opened and another Jedi- a padawan, Anakin thought when he saw the braid hanging over the man's right shoulder- entered. He stopped a little distance from Obi-Wan and watched the match.

Qui-Gon launched a large, wooden practice shield at Obi-Wan. "Impudent padawan of mine, you-"

Anakin cried out as a lancing pain tore up from his stomach. But even as he gave voice to the pain, he realized it wasn't _his_ suffering that he felt.

The shield hit Obi-Wan solidly between the eyes and he went down with a grunt, dropping his lightsaber. His eyes were now open but blind.

Qui-Gon was at his padawan's side in a moment. "Obi-Wan!" He knelt at his apprentice's side, reaching up to touch the center of the younger man's forehead.

Anakin's eyes turned inwards as that other room, that other time, coalesced around him.

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon warned.

"Please… It is nothing. Nothing serious. Please let me work this out on my own. I promise I'll be just fine. Please, Master."

Now Obi-Wan/Anakin could see the man's face. His eyes were lit with a bright concern Obi-Wan only saw when he, the apprentice, was badly injured. "You're trembling, Obi-Wan. I certainly will not leave this alone or let you work on it by yourself. Talk to me. I can help."

"No you can't. You're the last person who can help." Obi-Wan curled into himself, fighting against the tears that wanted to come. _I'm a senior padawan! I can't cry! I won't cry! I'm doing the right thing and I won't let that bastard take it away from me!_

"Do you want me to me fetch a Healer, Master Qui-Gon?" asked the padawan who had entered the training area.

Anakin shot the man a very nasty look, angry that he had sent the vision away again. But his anger was swallowed in curiosity as he saw the way the man was staring at Obi-Wan. His lips curved up at the corners and one of his hands was rubbing up and down the handle of the lightsaber he wore. As if feeling it gave him pleasure.

"Yes, ber'Nac, if you would," Qui-Gon said without looking up. He had stopped touching Obi-Wan's forehead, but still had his hand on his padawan's shoulder.

ber'Nac turned smartly on his heel and marched out of the training area. The door closed behind him and for a moment, all was silent.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm all right. I just… lost focus. I'm fine. Really." He reached up and touched his forehead. "I'm sorry, Master. I just… lost focus."

"Which is unlike you enough to make me worry," Qui-Gon answered. "And neither are you in the habit of repeating yourself. Tell me, Obi-Wan: what passed through your mind before I scrambled your brains with that shield?"

Anakin felt Obi-Wan's reluctance. Not quite realizing what he was doing, the boy stood and crossed to where the two Jedi were. He knelt on Obi-Wan's other side and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that," he said. "I was thinking about my mom. I didn't know I had sent the thought so strongly, or at all. I've never been able to do that before."

Obi-Wan glanced at him and smiled, a full one this time, the first such that he had directed at Anakin. "It's all right. If I had been guarding my mind as I should, it wouldn't have gotten through." He reached up and touched the small hand on his shoulder. "Will you help me to the healing wing, Anakin? I want to tell you something." He glanced at Qui-Gon. "I can walk, Master."

Anakin had the feeling that Obi-Wan was sending a thought and this was the first time he willingly spied.

Obi-Wan: _I need to talk to him._

Qui-Gon: _He lied to get you out of this._

Obi-Wan: _Don't punish him. He doesn't know you can tell that he's lying. It worked well for him on Tatooine._

Qui-Gon, sounding a little less tense: _You're starting to warm up to him, my Obi-Wan. I'm glad. Yes, go. Then, if they say you don't have to stay overnight, return to our quarters. I'll be there shortly._

Obi-Wan: _Yes, Master._

After taking a breath, Obi-Wan stood with his master's assistance. Then he looked down at Anakin and laid his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Are you ready?"

Anakin nodded. As one, they walked out of the training area.

Obi-Wan asked almost immediately, "How much of my mind can you read?"

Anakin blinked. "I… Well, I'm not exactly reading it… It's like the pictures just appear in my head."

Obi-Wan considered that for a moment, his eyes flickering. "All right... How much of the pictures are you seeing? What _did_ you see, in other words?"

_He doesn't sound angry. _Anakin glanced up at Obi-Wan, but the padawan wasn't looking at him. "I saw you and Master Qui-Gon. I think maybe you were lying down. The two of you were talking about a fever you had. Or maybe your forehead was just hot. You said you wanted to meditate instead of spar or go to the Healer's."

Obi-Wan held up a hand. Anakin tried to touch his mind, to pick up an emotion, but a solid wall stood between them. "I know what you're talking about," Obi-Wan said, his voice rough. "How far can you see? Can you see before we were talking?"

"I can't see anything before, but I heard up until you called Master Qui-Gon a…" He blushed ever so slightly and lowered his voice. This sort of language was okay on Tatooine, but he didn't think it would be appreciated in the Jedi Temple. "A bastard."

"I would never-" But Obi-Wan stopped. Then he laughed softly. "Anakin, I wasn't talking about him. I was thinking about… someone else."

Anakin didn't pry; he felt guilty for listening in on Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's conversation already. Though he did think he might be able to get through the mental shield if he worked at it. "Well, that's as much as I know."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I wonder how you're picking this up." He was frowning.

"I didn't mean to," Anakin said. He didn't like to sound like a little boy in front of Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help it.

Obi-Wan knelt before him, taking both of Anakin's shoulders in his strong hands. "I know. It's all right. You're just very… in tune with the Force, that's all." He smiled, then stood and pointed. "The Healing rooms are just around this corner. Let's go see if that shield did any damage to my higher-level functions."

And that, as far as Obi-Wan was concerned, was that.

oOo

Anakin followed Obi-Wan into the quarters they would be sharing. Qui-Gon was there before them, stirring a pot of something on the stove. He glanced at them and smiled as they stepped into the kitchen.

"Master, I believe it's my turn to cook tonight," Obi-Wan said. "I can finish that."

"No, that's quite all right, my young padawan. I rather enjoy it. What did the healers say?"

"I'm not injured. But I was given a lecture about watching where I put my head." Obi-Wan went to the cupboards and began taking out plates. Without hesitating, he handed them to Anakin, who went off to the table. "I really am fine, Master. Don't worry so about me."

"I can't help but worry, Obi-Wan. Shields, even if they're only made of wood, aren't something you should be catching with your head. Now…"

Anakin, setting out the plates, had been listening. Despite his earlier guilt, he listened to the thoughts that were running between the master and apprentice. His curiosity was too strong to ignore.

Qui-Gon: _Tell me why you were distracted. It's so unlike you that I almost wish I had sensed a disturbance in the Force to explain your lapse of concentration. It would have explained a great deal, made me less worried, as little sense as that makes. So tell me._

Obi-Wan: _Please don't make me._

Qui-Gon, shock and grief running down their link: _This is the second time in as many weeks that you have been close to tears during one of our conversations. Obi-Wan, love, tell me what's wrong. Please._

Anakin's jaw dropped. _Love? Did he call him love? I thought Jedi weren't supposed to be with anyone! But, _he thought, _maybe that was just something the pilots said. It might not be true._

Obi-Wan: _Please don't make me. At least not now. Anakin is right outside and I-_ He cleared his throat. _Please._

Qui-Gon: _Very well. For now. But I will find a time to talk with you and you will answer my questions._

Obi-Wan, miserable and afraid: _Yes, Master._

Qui-Gon: _I love you, my padawan._

Obi-Wan: _I love you, too._

Anakin strode into the kitchen, hoping he'd given Obi-Wan enough time to hide his tears. _He's just starting to like me; I don't want to embarrass him._ Anakin was startled to discover that he felt a little above Obi-Wan Kenobi. _He's a Jedi. He shouldn't cry. _The boy did his best to banish the feeling.

Obi-Wan was standing at the stove, his back to Anakin. Qui-Gon was rummaging through the drawers, gathering silverware. The design had struck Anakin from the first as extremely (and almost absurdly) low-tech. It was closer to his mother's kitchen than what he thought Jedi's kitchen should look like. He didn't know that Qui-Gon had designed the kitchen himself, calling to the Jedi's mind a planet he'd visited before he met Obi-Wan.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Anakin asked.

"There are potholders in that drawer to your left," Obi-Wan said. "Bring them to me if you would."

Obi-Wan's voice was steady, completely devoid of the tears Anakin had been sure he would hear. The boy's esteem of the padawan rose again. _I couldn't manage to cry and then sound like I hadn't been. And maybe, since Qui-Gon hinted he doesn't cry often, it's something worth crying about._

Dinner was quiet; Anakin spent most of the time trying to get up the nerve to ask Qui-Gon about his new telepathic connection to Obi-Wan. _Because I don't seem to be getting feelings from anyone else. Maybe Obi-Wan and I are meant to communicate through the link. Qui-Gon says that there are very few coincidences when the Force is involved._

So when Obi-Wan stood to clear his plate from the table, Anakin seized his chance. "Master Qui-Gon, can I talk to you alone please? There's something about the Force I don't get."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. Obi-Wan had disappeared into the kitchen. Anakin had no doubt the padawan had heard him, but was choosing to let his master handle this. "Why do you want to speak alone, Anakin? There are very few secrets among the Jedi."

Conscious of the fact that Qui-Gon could probably tell if he was lying, Anakin said, "Obi-Wan and I already talked about it. We didn't come any closer to an explanation for it."

"Then Obi-Wan would benefit from hearing my explanation as well- if, that is, I can explain it."

Anakin fidgeted. Why exactly didn't he want to say anything in front of Obi-Wan? _Part of it has to do with Obi-Wan not talking about it in front of Qui-Gon. Maybe he doesn't want his master to know. But I don't know anything more about the situation than Master Qui-Gon does. _Except he did, and he knew it. He knew Obi-Wan had been terrified at the idea of telling his master whatever truth he was concealing. _Well, Qui-Gon knows that already, so maybe it's okay if Obi-Wan joins us. _"Okay," he said at last, "Obi-Wan can sit with us."

As if that was his cue- maybe it was- Obi-Wan appeared from the kitchen and said, "Maybe we should all go sit on the couches. I'll clean this up later."

Anakin sensed fear in the padawan but also great determination. But what Obi-Wan was determined to do, Anakin couldn't be sure. Maybe he only wanted to hide the secret as long as possible.

Qui-Gon looked between the two of them, frowning. "I've fallen out of the loop here," he said. "There's something you both want to tell me; that much is clear." He rose from the table and they followed him. He didn't take them to the couches but into the meditation room. There he took one of the mats and sat cross-legged on the firm mesh weaving. Anakin and Obi-Wan faced him on other mats.

Obi-Wan spoke first. "Master, you know I have been keeping much from you. I ask only that you do not punish Anakin for helping me today. He knew that I was distressed and leapt to my defense. He had the right intentions even if he didn't completely understand the situation." The padawan reached up and touched his braid as he did sometimes when he was nervous.

Qui-Gon studied Obi-Wan for a moment, then turned to Anakin. "Speak your piece, young one. There is no talk of punishment, for you have not been accepted as a padawan learner yet."

Anakin swallowed. "Master, I have been reading Obi-Wan's mind. I didn't mean to do it, but these pictures from his mind would just appear in my head. I told him about it this morning." He shifted on the mat but didn't uncross his legs. "I saw a morning not long ago when you woke him. You thought he might be sick and suggested going to the healers." He saw comprehension on Qui-Gon's face and rushed on, wanting to get it all out in case the Jedi interrupted. "Obi-Wan didn't want to talk about it. He tried first to pass it off as drinking too much but you said you didn't believe that, saying Obi-Wan wasn't ber'Nac. And Obi-Wan thought-" beside him Obi-Wan tensed- " 'ber'Nac… Yes, I know he drinks.' He asked to meditate with you but you know something was wrong. You warned him, but he begged to be let off." Anakin swallowed again. "Obi-Wan was very afraid." Then he remembered the pain in his stomach and thought maybe that, too, had come from Obi-Wan. "His stomach was hurting badly, but he didn't want to tell you."

"It wasn't my stomach," Obi-Wan said quietly. Then he bowed his head. "Forgive me for interrupting."

"Speak on, Anakin," Qui-Gon said softly, his eyes locked with the boy's.

Anakin shook his head. "That's all I know. When that padawan that spoke- it was ber'Nac- the vision or whatever it was disappeared. The rest you know." He felt a little better now that the truth was out, but was also nervous. There was still the matter of his lying to Qui-Gon.

"Why did you lie?" Qui-Gon asked as if he was reading his mind.

_Maybe he is. _Anakin squared his shoulders, facing up to his mistake. "Obi-Wan seemed nervous. I'm not sure if he didn't want to tell you or if he didn't want to do it in front of me and the other padawan. So I lied." He looked down. "I won't do it again."

Qui-Gon was nodding. "I believe you, Anakin." He turned his gaze on Obi-Wan. "Will you tell me now or is this something you want to admit just between us?"

"It only seems fair that since you urged Anakin to include me that I shouldn't exclude him. Besides, we have to tell him about us if-"

Qui-Gon held his hand up and sent through their connection: _Obi-Wan, does this have something to do with our relationship?_

Anakin tried to look politely puzzled as he listened.

Obi-Wan answered, _Indirectly. To explain it to you I would have to refer to us. _Then he turned his head and Anakin found himself looking into the fiercest eyes he had ever seen. "You might have admitted this, too," Obi-Wan said. "How long have you been listening? Since we came into the kitchen? Since we were in the training area? Before that?"

"Control your temper, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon ordered, his voice no louder. He looked at Anakin. "Answer his question, please."

Anakin twisted his hands in his lap. "I heard the two of you in the training room. That was the first time."

"So then you doubtless already know about us," Qui-Gon answered.

"Well, um… I don't know what you mean. I… I know you're together. Like… Well, you called him 'love.' " To his chagrin, Anakin realized he was blushing. He looked down at his hands once more. They had never seemed to be such good sources of distraction.

"Yes. You already know." Qui-Gon urged without using the Force, "Look at me, Anakin."

The boy raised his head dutifully.

"I love Obi-Wan. My love for him is secondary only to my love of the Jedi Code. It was a difficult thing for both Obi-Wan and I to put aside a part of the Code we both disagreed with but that we had been taught to follow. The penalty for the law we break is more terrible than you might think. Please don't tell anyone unless you are asked directly about us. Then of course I don't expect you to lie to Master Yoda or any other Jedi."

Anakin felt dazed and more than a little lost, but he caught on to the first question that popped into his mind, using his curiosity as the tool it was to dig him out of his confusion. "Why aren't Jedi allowed to love, Master?"

Qui-Gon gestured to Obi-Wan and the younger man bowed his head slightly before turning to look at Anakin.

"Love is powerful, Anakin. It can separate you from the Force if it tells you to do something the Force doesn't want."

"Huh?"

Obi-Wan smiled, but his eyes were sad. "If you were given the choice between saving your mother or the Republic, which would you save?"

Anakin bit his lip, thinking hard. He knew what he should say, but knew also that he must tell the truth of what he really believed. "My mother. Is that wrong?"

"Not for you, not yet," Obi-Wan assured him. "If you become a padawan, you'll learn that each Jedi is a servant to the Republic. No more, no less. My relationship with Qui-Gon is considered wrong because it is believed that my love for him would color my view of my duty."

"Does it?" Anakin asked.

"My belief in duty was colored before we fell in love," Obi-Wan answered. "I loved him first as a teacher, as my master, as the person I had been with for nine years. Those weren't proper feelings for a padawan to have and I tried to clear them from my mind. I finally realized that I couldn't do it without leaving the Jedi order, in which case my feelings wouldn't have mattered. So I settled on a balance between meditation on the power of the Force and working through my love for him during battle." He saw the confusion returning to Anakin's face and tried to explain. "My first duty is, and will always be, to the light Force. Next I will do what I can for the Republic within the constraints of the Force. Then I will do what I can for Qui-Gon and my love for him within what the Republic demands of me."

"So you aren't letting your love for him get in the way of your use of the Force," Anakin said. When Obi-Wan nodded, the boy asked, "But you said your view of the Force was colored by your love."

"No, I said my _duty_ was colored by my love. I can keep my relationship with the light Force pure through meditation, but I cannot completely separate what is good for the Republic from what is good for Qui-Gon. And I will probably never be able to do that, no matter how much I meditate. Because the Republic isn't the all-consuming, living, breathing director of all life; it is just a government. A strong government, a good government, a very important government, but still just a created thing."

Anakin thought it might take him awhile to get his head around that, but he saw that it could be done. "Okay. Maybe I should meditate on that. Can you show me how?"

Qui-Gon held up his hand. "Wait. I'm glad you want to pursue this, Anakin, but I still need Obi-Wan to tell me what has him so guarded and distracted."

Obi-Wan sighed, but he smiled ruefully. "I'm not going to get out of this, am I?"

"Not a chance," his master answered.

The buzzer for their door sounded in the next room and Qui-Gon groaned. "Someone is determined to make me eat my words." He rose gracefully and the other two followed him into the front room.

Qui-Gon stepped to the doors and opened them. He bowed when he saw Master Yoda. "Master, how may I help you?" Behind him, he sensed rather than saw Obi-Wan and Anakin doing the same.

"Speak with you the Queen wishes to," Yoda answered. "With you and me and no others." He turned and started down the hallway leaning on his stick.

Qui-Gon glanced at Obi-Wan. _Stay here, _he sent.

_Yes, Master. We will._

Qui-Gon strode out the doors, following Yoda.

Obi-Wan turned to Anakin. "Well, I'm off again for a little while, anyway." His smile was troubled at first, but then it cleared. "Come on; I'll teach you how to meditate."

tbc

Please review. I can't know ifthe writting is messed up or the facts are wrongif you don't tell me. Thank you!

Estel B.


	2. The Truth

**A/N:** I know I've messed up Xanatos pretty good, confusing a lot of facts about him and about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. I guess this story is now officially AU.

**A/N2:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It's especially helpful because this is my first Star Wars fic.

On to chapter two:

The Truth

Qui-Gon was gone when it was time for bed, so Ob-Wan tucked Anakin in and went to his own bed to sleep. Anakin seemed to need some extra reassurance. And even though Obi-Wan couldn't tell if that was because the boy missed his mother, missed Qui-Gon or wasn't quite comfortable with the padawan, he decided to try and alleviate Anakin's fears as best he could. So he sang.

He'd picked up the song while he and Qui-Gon were assisting the rescue efforts on Sturgis III. They weren't rescue-workers, strictly speaking, but they had been close enough to the planet to pick up the calls for help. The two Jedi had spent the better part of two weeks clearing the wreckage, tending the injured and burying the dead right along what with what remained of the planet's population. During his time in the medical centers, Obi-Wan had befriended a young woman who was sitting at the bedsides of her three dying sons. And she had sung to them the same song so often that Obi-Wan had picked it up without really realizing it.

Blue light, green light, swirling about me.

Love my babies, tend my babies

Until the morning's light.

Blue light, green light, you built the world

Making water and land you formed their world.

With that strength, protect my babies.

Blue light, green light, holy light, birth light,

Love my babies, tend my babies

Until I can hold them up to your light.

Anakin had blushed at first, but soon that gave way to a smile and he allowed himself to sink into the pillow and close his eyes.

Obi-Wan whispered, as Qui-Gon had done when his young apprentice had trouble sleeping, "The Force protects you, cradles you, soothes you. Listen to its kind voice and sleep, young one."

The padawan left Anakin's room without a sound. He thought he might not sleep, but knowing that he would be expected to be refreshed and ready to go in the morning, regardless of what they were doing, he induced a trance and passed into sleep.

Anakin opened his eyes when he was sure Obi-Wan was gone. He had no such way to get to sleep. And how could the Jedi know that he was bringing thoughts of the boy's mother to the fore? He couldn't, and Anakin had let him sing. But he lay awake for nearly an hour. He reached out tentatively once and touched Obi-Wan's sleeping mind. The Jedi was dreaming of walking in space without anything to protect him. Anakin felt his exhilaration but retreated quickly. Picking up images was one thing, and spying on conversations was one thing (even though he still felt guilty about it) but deliberately looking at a Jedi's dreams was another.

_Well, at least I don't have to spy on their mental talks anymore, _he thought as he tried to get comfortable in the bed, a bed which seemed much too large for him. _If they want to keep secrets, they'll do it somewhere away from me. But what could be more secret than what I already know? _He sighed and snuggled into his blankets, unconsciously seeking the scent of the clothes-soap his mother used.

When the outer door to the main hall opened ten minutes later, Anakin sat up, hoping it was Qui-Gon. He reached out with his mind, but encountered a bristling, impenetrable wall. Frowning, he tried to see who it was, but his probing got him nowhere.

He slipped out of bed and went to the door of his room, peeking out. A tall man, his face hidden, stood in front of Obi-Wan's door, his shadow trailing out towards the front room at the end of the short hallway. Ahakin felt sure it wasn't Qui-Gon. The man reached up, pushed the panel that would open the door, and strode inside. The door closed behind the intruder.

Anakin crept to the door and put his ear against it. But he couldn't hear anything. He closed his eyes and touched Obi-Wan's mind once again. _He might sense me like he did before, but I need to know who's walking into his room when he's asleep._

Anakin forgot his own thoughts as Obi-Wan came awake with a start, rolling out of bed and standing beside it, his hand dropping to the place his saber would have been if he was dressed in more than a simple tunic and pants.

Anakin realized, though not on a conscious level, that he felt as if he _was_ Obi-Wan, not just seeing what he saw but feeling what he felt and seemingly moving with him. It was much like being back in the vision.

"Show yourself," the padawan commanded. Then he called the Force from within himself and one of the lights in the room hummed to life. At the same time, Obi-Wan called his saber, which had been hanging on the wall, to his hand.

ber'Nac stood by the door, his hand on the locking mechanism. (Anakin understood this with Obi-Wan's knowledge.) "Hello, Obi-Wan. I only wanted to check on you. It's not like you to be distracted and hurt during training. In fact, unless I miss my guess, you were always stronger, faster, better than the rest of us. That's why the great Qui-Gon came out of his retirement from teaching to guide you on your way to mastery."

Anakin felt Obi-Wan's fear and humiliation warring with an anger so deep it rivaled Anakin's own hard-learned rage. "Get out," was all Qui-Gon's apprentice said, his voce betraying none of his feelings.

ber'Nac turned towards the door, his expression one of mingled regret and wily confidence. "But I'm here to talk about our deal, Obi-Wan. I thought you would prefer to discuss that while you're here alone. But I could always come back later and discuss it with Master Qui-Gon if you wish… Or perhaps Master Windu would be better."

"We're both trapped, ber-Nac. If you tell what you know, then I will speak of your treachery, your attempt on Master Qui-Gon's life and how you raped me."

"There was no rape involved, my whore. You gave yourself to save Qui-Gon from being removed from the Jedi Temple and sent to prison. Then you offered yourself again so I wouldn't try again to kill him."

Obi-Wan didn't care much for the man's smile, and Anakin privately agreed.

But ber'Nac was still speaking, now turning back to face the other padawan. "And what makes you think anyone will believe you after they learn how you have hidden a relationship with another Jedi from them?"

"Even if they don't believe my word, I have evidence."

ber'Nac laughed, but he seemed a little less sure of himself. "There's no evidence, my whore. You can't bluff me; I'm better at that art than you will ever be."

Obi-Wan smiled in his mind, but kept his face expressionless. _I've sat in on more trade negotiations than you have. Many more. I have learned a bit about hiding myself that you haven't mastered quite yet._ "Get out before I call for Master Yoda."

"So I can tell him what I know? Ha! Besides, Obi-Wan, he's in a meeting with the Queen of Naboo. He wouldn't appreciate you interrupting him. And he probably wouldn't come in any case. Face it, my whore, you're trapped." ber'Nac drew the lightsaber from beneath his robes. "That is, unless you want to spread your legs again for me. I'll take that as fair trade for my silence."

Obi-Wan's own lightsaber hummed to life. But he didn't attack. Instead, he spoke to Anakin, startling the boy. _You've heard enough, young one. Go to Master Windu. There are Jedi that will point the way. Bring him here. Tell him two padawans are fighting._

Anakin hesitated. _But you and Master Qui-Gon might-_

_It doesn't matter now. I've already sinned against the Force by hiding my suffering from my Master. Please go._ He parried the first of ber'Nac's thrusts._ Our battle will be sensed eventually, but I would rather it be known that I sent you._

Anakin ran from the Jedi quarters.

oOo

"… and of course the Trade Federation must be led by someone else if they have so much courage. If this were their own action, we could intimidate them. But under the circumstances, we can't know what they will be encouraged to do, or ordered to do. We must accept that they are puppets, perhaps willingly acquired but now unable to stop what they have started," the Queen's general, Panara, said.

Queen Amidala nodded. "I agree, but we must proceed without the identity of their puppeteer or fall to the Federation's demands."

Qui-Gon thought he was doing quite a good job at looking attentive and polite, even though he had already at least partially made up his mind. His connection with the Living Force was much stronger than that with the Unifying Force (an imbalance Obi-Wan had in reverse) and he had his own ideas about who the creature was he fought. _It's a Sith. I know it is. And since only a Sith can send a Sith, the master of this operation is the master of the Sith I met._ Somehow he didn't think he would have lived through the attack of a Master Sith. _And even if I could, it's not like a Sith to go somewhere himself when he can send his apprentice._

The image of an active, moving lightsaber imposed itself over his view of the room in front of him. Qui-Gon blinked, but it didn't go away. He tried to see past the saber's glow, to see who wielded it. Part of him thought it would be the enemy he'd met on Tatooine. But before he could see who it was, another lightsaber entered his field of vision from the lower right. _As it would if I was holding it, _the Master thought.

"Master Jedi, what think you of-"

Frowning, Qui-Gon focused on the image, blocking out everything else. He didn't care if it was rude. Who was fighting and why? That was all that mattered to him.

The lightsaber on his right dipped and was nearly lost. Qui-Gon felt the near-miss in his very fingers.

At last a voice joined the image. _Master! Master, I can't hold him! Help me!_

Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon stood so fast the Queen, who had been speaking, stopped mid-word to stare at him. Everyone was staring at him, actually, and Qui-Gon thought he would have been embarrassed if he hadn't felt so afraid for his padawan. "I sense a disturbance in the Force," he said. "Obi-Wan is in danger." Even sure as he was, he glanced at Yoda, seeking permission. _But even if he doesn't give it, I'll go after Obi-Wan anyway._

The old Jedi nodded. "Go. I will join you shortly. Find other Jedi to accompany you if help you need."

Qui-Gon bowed and ran from the room, all decorum thrown aside.

"Does that happen often?" Queen Amidala's general asked.

"Not in the Jedi Temple," Yoda answered. "But first finish our discussion here we must. The only way to discover the best course for Naboo it is."

oOo

Even from several floors away, Qui-Gon could feel his apprentice's fear. He sent, _Ob-Wan, focus. Use the Force, not your feelings._ It had been at least a year since Qui-Gon had felt the need to give that particular order.

His skin crawled with Obi-Wan's response, which came as an emotional wave instead of a verbal answer. Shame warred with despair and crashed over Qui-Gon, trying to drag him in. Qui-Gon didn't close the link to his padawan, but he pushed it back so that it played in the back of his mind where it couldn't distract him. _The last time I felt this much pain from my padawan…_ The Master gritted his teeth and put on an extra burst of speed.

He turned a corner and stepped aside just in time to avoid being run over by Anakin. He caught the boy's shoulder and crouched before him. "Anakin! What is it?"

Anakin's eyes were filled with uneasiness. Not fear, Qui-Gon noted, just a sense of being confused. "Obi-Wan sent me to find Master Windu. He's being attacked by ber'Nac with a lightsaber."

Qui-Gon straightened. "There's no time to go for help. We'll have to do what we can." He took off at a run, and Anakin followed. As he ran, the boy thought, _This is just like Tatooine, except we're running into danger instead of away from it._

Once the two of them were in their quarters, Qui-Gon ordered, "Stay there." He was pointing to the nearest couch. "I'll handle this." They could both hear the humming of lightsabers and that encouraged Qui-Gon; at least his apprentice was still alive to fight. He didn't have time to question Anakin's honesty about Obi-Wan facing another padawan. And even if he'd had the time, he wouldn't have bothered. Not every padawan was meant to be a Jedi. He had learned that truth long ago.

The door to Obi-Wan's room was locked, but Qui-Gon used the Force to open it. His own lightsasaber ready, he charged into the semi-darkness.

ber'Nac didn't sense him; he was too focused on Obi-Wan, who was crouching against the wall, still fighting, but with waning strength.

Qui-Gon Jinn drew himself up to his full height and ripped the lightsaber out of ber'Nac's hand with the Force. "Turn around, Padawan, and tell me what this is about."

Obi-Wan had sheathed his saber and started to get to his feet. ber'Nac shoved him down with the Force as thoughtlessly as someone might swat a fly. But Obi-Wan had regained some of his mental balance- Qui-Gon could feel it through the link- and he used his focus to push ber'Nac back several steps so he could have room to stand. And before ber'Nac could retaliate, Qui-Gon bound the padawan's arms to his sides with his surer command of the Force.

ber'Nac turned towards him, sneering. "You can't protect him forever," he said. Then he spat at Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon whipped the padawan's head around and said quietly, "Show a little more respect, Padawan ber'Nac or you will be taken in front of the Jedi council and dismissed from the Order."

ber'Nac's eyes laughed at him. "You're the one who's going to be dismissed, Qui-Gon." He hoped the Jedi noticed the lack of a title. "Obi-Wan's been protecting you, but he won't do it anymore. He's started thinking you aren't worth a dry corn-holing."

Obi-Wan winced.

Qui-Gon didn't allow his face to change, but he knew his own padawan could feel his shock and horror. He didn't bother articulating it. "And for that, too, you will be punished," he told ber'Nac. "I can't see you staying here for another week, let alone long enough to finish your training."

ber'Nac laughed. "Don't you get it? I know you're with Obi-Wan. I know everything. And when the council finds out, neither of you will be Jedi. And, incidentally, they won't believe that I raped Obi-Wan. They'll think it's another lie." He tried to glance at Obi-Wan, but Qui-Gon wouldn't let him. "Not that it was rape, right, my whore? It was-"

Qui-Gon shut the padawan's mouth with the Force, closed it so hard that the young man's teen clicked together and his eyes widened in shock. "Your master never tried that trick on you?" Qui-Gon asked. "I see you've kept yourself well hidden from her. Think how disappointed she will be in you." He paced forward and stood toe to toe with ber'Nac. Without taking his eyes off the padawan before him, he said, "Obi-Wan, go reassure Anakin that all is well."

Obi-Wan bowed and left the room.

When the door had closed behind him, Qui-Gon sent, _Obi-Wan, reassert your calm mind. Meditate if you need to. _Then he closed their connection and turned his full attention on ber'Nac. "You're lacking in quite a few basic skills, Padawan," the Master began. "First, you have lost the ability to sense changes in the Force. You didn't feel me coming. Distressing as that is, you have lost the ability to follow the Force in such matters as breaking of the Code. You chose, instead of speaking to myself or Master Yoda, to use the Dark side of the Force to attack a fellow padawan." ber'Nac made a few mmmpph! mmmmph! sounds, but Qui-Gon ignored him. "And on top of that, you compound lacks in judgment and perception with the rape of another padawan." He smiled, an expression with too many teeth. "Obi-Wan and I may both be released from the Order, but you'll also leave your share of blood on the floor. I'm amazed it didn't occur to you that Master Yoda, Master Windu and the rest of the Jedi Council will know who is lying and who is telling the truth. They will believe Obi-Wan because he speaks the truth. So you won't be clear of this either, young one."

ber'Nac's enraged sounds got louder and Qui-Gon let him speak. "He belongs to me!" ber'Nac shouted. "That's how my people conduct business. Once you take someone to your bed, that person belongs to you."

Only by calling on the Force in himself was Qui-Gon able to keep from shouting or striking the Padawan. The idea of Obi-Wan belonging to anyone like… well, like Anakin had belonged to Watto infuriated the older Jedi. "You forsook all rights to call on the customs of your people when your parents gave you over to the Jedi Order," Qui-Gon answered. He walked around the still-immobilized padawan. "It's late, and Master Yoda is still busy with the Queen. Tomorrow we will all stand in front of the council and explain ourselves." He met ber'Nac's gaze. "You have no more power over Obi-Wan Kenobi." He released his hold on the man and the padawan staggered slightly. "Come. For now, we'll go speak with your master." He brought ber'Nac's lightsaber to him with the Force and holstered it. "Walk before me, ber'Nac."

The young man started out at a shuffle, his eyes fiery and narrowed. As they turned down the small hallway, he caught sight of Obi-Wan and Anakin sitting on the floor by the couch, both of them with their eyes closed. He planned to the spit on his fellow padawan as they passed, but Qui-Gon forestalled him.

"Obi-Wan, I need you with me."

The apprentice stood, his control firmly in place. "Yes, Master. What about Anakin?"

The boy jumped up, his expression hopeful.

Qui-Gon nodded "You can come with us if you keep quiet. The time may come when I ask you to relay what you have seen and heard, but that time is not now. Understood?"

Anakin bowed. "Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon pointed at the door. "March," he said to ber'Nac. He sensed rather than saw Obi-Wan take his accustomed place behind his right shoulder and Anakin take up a similar position behind his left.

Anakin asked Obi-Wan silently, _Are you going to be kicked out?_ _It doesn't seem fair. You know how to balance your love with the Force._

_Not many things in life are fair, but they are for the common good, _Obi-Wan answered. _Don't worry; the Force will decide in the end, as it always does. And what the Force decides is for the best._

_But what if the council isn't listening to the Force? _Anakin pressed.

_Master Yoda has always listened. It is his judgment that will be trusted for he has had nearly nine hundred years to become one with the Force._

_I didn't know he was so old!_

Obi-Wan smiled. _The only thing older in the Jedi Temple than him is the Jedi Order. And that only beats him out by fifty years or so._

oOo

Master Saltha Gren sat serenely, her hands folded in her lap. Behind her, the shades had been drawn, taking away the distraction of the city at night. To her right, facing her, sat Qui-Gon. Beside him sat Obi-Wan and the boy he'd brought from Tatooine. On her left sat her padawan. She had known about his restlessness; any good Master could sense that in their padawan. But recently he had started showing a calmer face to the world and she had begun to hope that he was at last settling down. Now she saw that his seeming calmness had been satisfaction. All of his restlessness- Force, carelessness was what it really was!- had paid off. He had gotten something he'd been lusting after for years. And not through any of th methods _she_ taught him, thank you very much.

Testing her theory, she addressed Obi-Wan. The padawan looked both ashamed and yet calm, as if he had just meditated. _Probably did. That's Qui-Gon's solution to most of the problems that can't be solved with a lightsaber. _And Obi-Wan was fortunate to be one of the few padawans who actually felt semi-comfortable meditating. He never had to be prodded or tricked into it, she had noticed. Most the Jedi had noticed. Even Master Yoda had commented on this agreeable trait in the young apprentice. _All the while maintaining that Obi-Wan has much to learn._

"When did ber'Nac approach you and when did you share a bed?"

"He came to me ten days ago, Master Saltha, late in the evening. Master Qui-Gon had left to speak with you in the Garden of Stones. I was meditating when Padawan ber'Nac called." He swallowed, but still met her gaze. "He told me what he knew. He had seen Master Qui-Gon and I in the Garden of Light at dawn the morning before and guessed what we meant to each other."

"If it was only a guess, Padawan, why didn't you deny it?" she asked, more out of curiosity than a sense of duty. Did Obi-Wan carry the idea of the truth too far? It might get him into trouble some day. _Again, _she amended. _Get him into trouble again._

"He completely believed what he was saying and would have presented his observations to the council. Then there would have been a hearing." Obi-Wan fidgeted, looked away from her for a moment, then back. "I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want him to hurt Q- my master."

"Tell me what else you are thinking, Padawan. I can sense you are troubled by more than what passed that night."

"I have been lying to my master," Obi-Wan answered at once, his voice quieter. "That disturbs me. But more than that, I am angry and embarrassed that I couldn't think of another way to handle the situation, especially when Padawan ber'Nac made an attempt on my master's life."

_The Cresh snake under my mat, _Qui-Gon thought. He didn't send the realization. Let Obi-Wan tell what he knew.

"Padawan ber'Nac set a snake on my master. I found it first and killed it, but I knew it was ber'Nac who left it there."

"How do you know the snake didn't crawl in by itself?" Even as Saltah asked the question, she could see the knowledge in Obi-Wan's eyes, and knew it not to be groundless.

"Because Padawan ber'Nac boasted to me about it, not knowing that I had already taken care of the threat."

"Weren't you worried that he might try again?" she asked.

Obi-Wan colored. "I was and I handled it badly, submitting to him again, this time for my master's safety."

Saltha turned her eyes on Qui-Gon for a moment. "Did you know of the snake?"

"Yes. I came in while Obi-Wan was killing it."

"But your padawan didn't tell you the snake had been planted."

"No. He didn't."

Master Saltha's eyes closed for a moment as she collected her thoughts. "Obi-Wan, what should you have done about this situation?"

"I should have told my master and sought his council." His voice was flat, but she sensed the effort it cost him to make it so.

_You have a loyal and noble Padawan, _she sent to Qui-Gon.

_I know. I'm lucky to have him._ He sighed mentally. _We'll go in front of the council in the morning._

_Let's not talk about that yet,_ she countered swiftly. _I must still hear what ber'Nac _

_has to say and then talk with you in private._

Anakin heard this exchange but didn't react to it. Not reacting to things he shouldn't even be hearing was a skill slavery had taught him.

"ber'Nac, speak now, please." Saltha turned to her padawan.

But the young man wasn't looking at her. "I don't have anything to say," he muttered. "Except that Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon's whore and no one's going to understand that because Obi-Wan doesn't even believe it."

_What new devilry are you trying to stir up, young spider? _Qui-Gon thought instinctively reaching out to Obi-Wan through their link. But before he could understand his padawan's feelings, anger exploded in his mind like a bomb that released black smoke. It obscured Obi-Wan's feelings until they were hardly there at all.

Anakin was on his feet, his whole body trembling. "Obi-Wan isn't a whore, you son of a barthu bitch!" he screamed, his fists clenched at his sides. Too many times had his mother been called the same thing; he'd punched quite a few kids bigger than him for the insult and was close to leaping across the room at the padawan who was looking at Obi-Wan with such sickeningly-sincere pity and shame.

A hand on his arm stopped him, as did the voicr in his mind. _If you're going to be a Jedi someday, Anakin- and I know you will be- control your temper. Those are only words. _Obi-Wan drew Anakin back against the couch so he could sit down again. _Qui-Gon already told you what happens when you fight, didn't he?_

Anakin didn't answer; he was too busy glaring at ber'Nac.

_Answer me, _Obi-Wan commanded._ If nothing else, so you can make Qui-Gon proud of your memory._

That was when Anakin realized that Qui-Gon and Saltha were also in his mind. He swallowed, turned his eyes to Obi-Wan so he wouldn't have to look at his enemy, and thought, _He told me that fighting won't solve anything. It won't change anyone's beliefs._

He felt Obi-Wan's smile in his mind instead of seeing it. The expression was warm like his mother's hand on his back. _That's right. Now please sit down. He can't hurt us anymore; we're already in enough trouble. Don't get yourself in trouble, too._

An image touched all four of their minds then, but before Anakin could register anything more than the sight of blood, he felt himself pushed out of the connection with Obi-Wan.

Now it was Qui-Gon's apprentice who was on his feet. His voice was strained and his eyes bulged. "Torture me with anything, ber'Nac," he snapped, "but don't expose Anakin to your fantasies!"

Anakin realized that this was Obi-Wan's fury that he was seeing and he decided right then that he never wanted to see it again. He admitted that until now he thought the worst he would see from Obi-Wan was frustration or suspicion. The Padawan hadn't seemed capable of true rage. _And maybe this isn't everything he could do, _Anakin thought, shivering. _He hasn't even reached for his lightsaber yet. _Then the boy reminded himself that a Jedi should never use anger as a weapon. Given Obi-Wan's beliefs about the Force and his desire to work with it in perfect partnership, he probably wouldn't draw his saber in anger unless he was psychotic.

"Obi-Wan, sit down," Qui-Gon commanded and his padawan sat, seeming to deflate. He had simply let it out with those few words.

"Yes, Master. I'm sorry, Master." And he was back to being the intense, yet restrained Jedi Anakin had shaken hands with two days ago.

Saltha spoke then, and all eyes, even ber'Nac's, turned to her. "I will speak with Master Qui-Gon now. Padawan Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker, you will return to Master Jinn's quarters and await him there. Padawan ber'Nac, you will return to your room and await me." When her padawan opened his mouth to say something, she shook her head. "Not one word."

Obi-Wan rose to his feet and glanced down at Anakin. He didn't touch the boy's mind- Anakin realized that Obi-Wan had sealed himself off- but he still managed to dredge up a smile. Anakin stood, meaning to follow Obi-Wan. But he glanced at ber'Nac first and couldn't just go. It didn't matter if the universe was unfair or if the Force knew what was best and would help the council decide; Anakin suddenly couldn't stand the thought of ber'Nac winning in any way. He turned back to Saltha and bowed deeply. "Please, Master, I have something to say."

"Anakin-" began Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan at the same time, their warning tones identical.

Master Saltha held up her hand. "Wait. Let the boy speak."

Anakin didn't hesitate; she might change her mind. "Padawan Obi-Wan told me something that I want you to know. He has three loyalties: first to the Force, second to the Republic and third to Mastet Qui-Gon and their love. And while sometimes ObiWan has trouble separating his duty to the Republic from his duty to Qui-Gon, he _always_ serves the Force, first and foremost. I just wanted you to know so you don't think that Obi-Wan would ever betray the light side of the Force."

Saltha seemed to take his measure. "Thank you, Anakin. I will weigh that carefully."

It wasn't good enough- Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were still in danger- but Anakin understood that it was better than nothing. He bowed and followed Obi-Wan from the room. The two of them didn't speak until they were nearing their quarters. (Anakin was already starting to think of them as his rooms as well as those of the Jedi.)

Just before they turned down the final corridor, Anakin mustered up enough courage to ask, "What did I see? There was a lot of blood, but I couldn't tell what else it was."

"Good," Obi-Wan answered, his eyes focused on the door they were approaching.

Anakin tried to touch the padawan's mind and met again with a wall. "Obi?"

The padawan stopped walking for a moment, then pushed himself towards the door. "We'll talk inside." But the moment the doors closed behind them, Obi-Wan didn't turn to face him. He went instead to the small room he and Qui-Gon sometimes used for meditation and other non-locomotor exercises. Without looking at Anakin, Obi-Wan went to a corner, flipped over so he was balancing on his head, and began to float everything in the room.

Anakin stared at him, a little hurt, thinking that Obi-Wan had lied to him at the very least. He was about to leave when Obi-Wan asked, "Why did you call me Obi?"

The boy blinked. "Uh… Is it a bad word in some language?"

"No." Obi-Wan's eyes were closed. "It's just that only Qui-Gon has ever called me that. You surprised me, that's all. I didn't realize how much I associated that nickname with him. I'm sorry if I seemed abrupt. It wasn't my intention. I know you've been through a lot more in a few days than a lot of people deal with in a lifetime." He fell silent, and Anakin wondered if he had gone completely into whatever Jedi trance this was. But then Obi-Wan spoke again, and Anakin felt his chest tighten. "I lost my first master to terrorists. I was about eight. Even though I'd only been working with her for a year, she was my connection to everything I believed in. When she died, I tried to leave the Jedi Temple. I couldn't imagine life without her."

The various items he had lifted with the Force began to circle the room like planets. Anakin sat down close to Obi-Wan so he would be out of their way.

"No Master wanted me- I was already a high-risk experiment because of my lack of intuitive connection with the Force. But Master Yoda had taken a chance on me when I was little, and Master Ahleh took a chance on me when I came to the age where I should have a Master. The council wanted to send me home. Back to my birth parents, whom I didn't even remember." He laughed; it was a hopeless sound. "And I wasn't any help. I wanted so badly for the pain to stop that I almost jumped out a high window at the top of the Temple."

Anakin gaped. "What stopped you?"

"Qui-Gon. He had been up there, grieving for his lost padawan, when he saw me getting ready to jump."

"What happened to his padawan?"

Obi-Wan's voice was flat. "That isn't something I can discuss with you. Qui-Gon deserves his secrets. If he wants to reveal it to you, so be it. I will not."

Anakin blinked at the dry tone. "I didn't mean to make you angry."

Obi-Wan sighed and his voice gentled. "If I wasn't so unfocused I could have felt that. I'm sorry, Anakin; I'm showing you a very bad way to be a padawan."

The boy hesitated for a moment, prompted to do something but not wanting to disturb Obi-Wan's concentration. Still, the padawan needed reassurance. Anakin reached out and touched Obi-Wan's face with the tips of his fingers. "I think you're doing just fine."

The young man smiled. "Thank you, Annie." He blinked and the objects in orbit about the room quivered. Then the padawan closed his eyes again and they stabilized. "Can I call you Annie?" He smiled. "Even if I ask you not to call me Obi?"

"Sure. Everybody calls me Annie. It's not like it was just my mom that did it." He frowned. "I guess if she was the only one who ever did, I wouldn't want you to call me Annie, either."

Obi-Wan smiled, then grew serious again. "Qui-Gon demanded to know "what in the name of the Living Force did I think I was doing?' I told him I wanted to become part of the Force like my master. He said, 'You're Kenobi, aren't you?' I told him I was, figuring he'd either heard about me from the Council or from some other Jedi. Instead, he said something that shocked me.

"He said, 'Ahleh Windu was one of the best Jedi I ever trained with. We were padawans together and I loved her like a sister. When she took you to be her Padawan Leaner, I was proud. I wanted to take you, but I already had an apprentice. I was so glad she wanted to work with you.'"

Anakin interrupted, "Was she related to Master Windu?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "Not a chance. They look so different it's hard to believe they even belong to the same species." Again, his joy evaporated. "I told Qui-Gon I wanted her back, that I wouldn't study with anyone else. He said, 'All right. But will you come and talk about her with me? I have a lot of stories I never told about her padawan days and I want to tell them to somebody who really knew her.' "

"He tricked you," Anakin said, sounding both surprised and impressed.

"No." Obi-Wan shook his head and almost fell over. The objects in orbit didn't just quiver, but dipped towards the floor. The padawan went perfectly still and after a moment the objects began to circle cleanly again. "If he had, I wouldn't have ever spoken to him again. But Qui-Gon really just wanted to talk. He wanted to talk about someone he had cared for, and to forget his own pain for a while. So we talked for two days, barely eating or sleeping. Then Qui-Gon started meditating, saying that Ahleh was part of the Force and he wanted to feel connected to her." Obi-Wan blushed. "I told him I wanted to connect with her, too, but I wasn't very good at meditating. 'Don't worry, young one,' he told me. 'I'll teach you.' "

Obi-Wan set everything in the room back on the floor, then flipped over so he was sitting cross-legged beside Anakin. "And he did. For a solid year, that's all he taught me. The Jedi Council kept trying to either get him to take me on as a padawan or have me removed from the Temple, but Master Yoda kept shooting it down. He said that healing took time and both Qui-Gon and I would be better for the time together. Almost a year to the day after I tried to jump, I asked Qui-Gon if he would be my master. 'Only if you're willing to understand three things,' he said. 'First, I make mistakes. I'm not the Force. Second, I will never lay a criticism on you that isn't justified. Third, you'll have to accept that I will look after you until one of us leaves the Jedi Order. Can you accept these three things, Obi-Wan?' I thought about it; I'd learned, through meditation, to weigh things before answering. When I told him I would, he said, 'I love you, my padawan.' " Obi-Wan's face was lit with the magic of remembering. "I knew then that I would be okay."

He stood and Anakin followed suit. Obi-Wan led him into the front room. "It's late. We both need to get some sleep." But he was looking at Anakin as if sensing that the boy wasn't quite ready to go.

Anakin tested Obi-Wan's shield and found it still in place. He bit his lip. "Can I sleep with you?" He added, "If you take down that wall. I want… I want to know you're there."

Obi-Wan crouched before the boy, studying him for a moment. "All right," he agreed at last and felt Anakin touch his mind as soon as he took the shield away.

_Can I… Can I be your pretend padawan? _Anakin asked.

The furthest idea from Obi-Wan's mind was to laugh. He drew Anakin against him and hugged him. _If you'll follow the three rules I had to._

_I will._

_Then come, my young padawan; let's get some sleep. _Obi-Wan picked Anakin up and carried him to his small room. He made as if to tuck Anakin in, then lay on top of the covers, but Anakin curled up against him, holding onto one of Obi-Wan's large hands.

o---------------------------------------------------------------------------o

tbc

**kbeale:** Were you right? Is it what you suspected? I tried to give clues, but…

**Ellie:** Please don't read this if slash bothers you because it's only going to get worse, both a consensual and nonconsensual plane. But, aside from that, could you please tell me what was confusing? I don't want to make anyone confused. Thank you.

**Darkness1291:** Thank you for the review. The numbers in your name are very close to my guide dog's birthday. What inspired them? (Feel free to ignore the question. May the Force be with you!)


	3. ObiWan Memories 1

**A/N:** Thank you to all those that reviewed. There are notes for each of you at the end. But I have some frustrating news (frustrating for me, anyway): In two days, relatives from far away are coming to visit, so I won't get a chance to write. Then, the week after that, I'm going out of state for a long convention. I hope to post the next chapter on July 11th or 12th. I'm sorry it will take so long. Don't give up on me, please.

**Warning:** Specific references to a minor being abused! Not graphic, though.

Obi-Wan's Memories (1)

Master Ahleh urged, "Close your eyes, Obi-Wan. Good. Now, picture a large, red ball. It's so large it can't fit in your hands but sits on the floor in front of you. With your hands at your sides, imagine you're picking it up." She reached out, not letting the boy know she was testing his sense of the Force, and felt a tiny bubble of energy about her padawan. "Good, Obi-Wan!" she praised. But before he could get excited, she said, "Put the ball down. The ball has disappeared. In its place is a blue, hollow block half the size of the ball. Can you see it?"

"Yes, Master."

"Are its edges round or square?" She didn't send him an image to study; Obi-Wan wasn't ready for that. Instead, her desire was to make the block 'real' for her padawan and at the same time get him to use his imagination. Obi-Wan had always been tentative about saying what he thought. But the edges of a block were a relatively non-threatening thing to guess about.

Obi-Wan hesitated, then said, "Round. In case I drop it."

She smiled at that. "What shade of blue is it?"

"Like the bellflowers in the Garden of Light," Obi-Wan said, his voice faint.

_He's disappearing into the Force!_ She kept the elation from her voice. Let Obi-Wan continue to develop his senses unhindered. "Use your invisible hands to pick it up." Again, she tested the strength of the Force around him. The bubble was a little stronger this time. _Obi-Wan, I'm so proud._

She sensed two people approaching the door to the quarters she shared with her apprentice. _No you don't. I won't let you distract Obi-Wan even if you don't mean to._ "Put it down, Padawan." When the field about him eased (though she was glad when she noticed that it didn't disappear entirely) Ahleh said, "Open your eyes."

Obi-Wan looked at her, trying very hard not to smile.

She stood and he copied her. "You've done well, my Padawan," she said.

Obi-Wan beamed. It had taken three hours to clear his mind sufficiently to focus and feel anything outside himself, but it had been worth it. "Can I lift real things soon?"

The door-chime saved her from having to tell him that he had a long way to go.

But she hadn't guarded her expression well enough, she discovered, because Obi-Wan's face fell. Even if he was so far incapable of the master-apprentice bond that should have existed from the beginning of his studies with her, he picked other things up easily. She was usually glad that _something_ came easy to the earnest boy, but now she cursed her inability to hide the truth from him. "If you continue to work as you have been, there will come a day when you can lift real objects."

Obi-Wan bowed, masking his disappointment well.

The chime came again. Sighing, Ahleh crossed to the door and pushed the panel that would open it. Qui-Gon stood in the hall, his mouth smiling but his eyes balls of fire. "Forgive the intrusion, Master Ahleh," he said at once. "I need your help."

She noticed the man's apprentice standing a little further back from his master than was strictly necessary. "Of course." She stepped back and the two men entered.

Obi-Wan bowed to the visitors, his eyes bright with curiosity, and he still glowed from his accomplishment. He didn't get the chance to see many other masters or padawans; he was too busy for that. _Too far behind, _some members of the Council said.

Aware that her apprentice didn't know the identities of the Jedi before him, Ahleh said, "Master Qui-Gon, this is my padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi," even though Qui-Gon knew perfectly well who the boy was. Almost every Jedi had heard how she had begged for permission to train Obi-Wan when there was talk of dismissing him from the Order after he was too old to work with Yoda anymore. He hadn't completed the training as had the other padawans; he simply couldn't stay with Yoda. "Obi-Wan, this is my dear friend Master Qui-Gon and his Padawan, Xanatos."

Obi-Wan bowed again. "Welcome, Master Jedi," he said. Then he smiled at Xanatos, unaware of the padawan's sour mood. "Welcome, Padawan Xantos."

"Xan_a_tos," corrected Qui-Gon, for his padawan was looking murderously at the boy.

"Padawan Xan_a_tos," Obi-Wan repeated at once.

For the first time since the two of them had entered the apartment, Qui-Gon's smile reached his eyes. "I'm glad to meet you, Obi-Wan. Your master speaks highly of you." He noted Obi-Wan's blush, then turned to Ahleh. "Padawan Xanatos will speak with us for a time, but I don't think this is an appropriate discussion for your padawan."

She nodded, then looked at Obi-Wan. She saw the disappointment in his eyes but also the determination to not lose face in front of the new Jedi. "Obi-Wan, do you remember how to reach the Garden of Light?'

"Yes, Master." He bowed to all of them and left the room.

Ten minutes later, the young padawan was hopelessly lost. He couldn't find the gardens, any of them, and so had decided to find Master Yoda and ask for help. But he couldn't find the short, powerful Jedi, either. Wandering around, Obi-Wan became convinced that he was never going to find his way back. Stopping, he stared out a window at the hurrying traffic below, then glanced up at the sky. There was pollution in the air, but the blue of the sky could still be seen. Obi-Wan took several deep breaths, doing as he'd been told when he got upset.

_Loss of control a way to the Dark Side is,_ Master Yoda had told him often enough. _Calm your mind and a solution you will find._

Obi-Wan crawled up onto the windowsill, which was wide enough to hold him, crossed his legs, closed his eyes and tried to meditate. At first, he felt as if the Force was busy elsewhere; it didn't seem to want to help him. But then he felt a warm presence in his mind, as if someone was taking his hand and guiding him in the right direction. When a feeling of comfort began to fill him, Obi-Wan imagined that he had stepped into a gently-moving river. He let himself sink into the water and felt the warm presence in his mind support him and keep him from drowning.

_Go with the current, Obi-Wan. _

_Master? _The image in his mind started to melt away.

_Stay with that river, Obi-Wan. See each ripple, each sunbeam that glints off the water. Are there fish?_

_Yes, Master. They're gold._

_Good, Obi-Wan. Follow the fish. They're swimming downstream. Swim with them, Padawan. Swim with them and don't stop. I'm waiting for you downstream; swim to me._

_How will I know when I get to you?_

_I'll call to you. Now swim._

Just as he had imagined the ball and the block, Obi-Wan pretended that he was surrounded by water and that it was pushing him in a specific direction. Gradually, he began to feel as if the current was lifting him up. He didn't resist, thinking that it was just in his mind. _Master?_

_Keep coming, Obi-Wan. I'm near._

He pushed on, delighted when the water lifted him even higher. But it wasn't water any longer; Obi-Wan gazed in wonder at the river of light that flowed around him. He didn't hesitate, but swam forward, seeking his master, wanting to tell her what was happening to the river.

_Open your eyes, Obi-Wan._

The boy did, and stared in shock at his master's upturned face. Why was she so short? Then he saw Master Yoda standing beside her, also looking up. Both of them were smiling. There, too, was Master Qui-Gon, but without his padawan.The three of them stood at least three meters below him.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to ask a question, but heard his master's voice in his head. _Close your eyes again. Can you still see the river?_

At first, he couldn't, but then he felt it around him and when he looked again it was there, still the river of light. He saw one of the fish jump out of it and do a somersault before disappearing back into it. Grinning, Obi-Wan gave chase.

_Obi-Wan, turn towards me. I'm here, by the bank. The swim will be a little harder because you're going against the current, but keep coming. _

He could see his master in his mind, crouching on the bank (which was made of black marble instead of grass and rocks). She was holding out her hands. _Come on, Obi-Wan. You can do it. You can. I promise._

Turning, Obi-Wan started towards her. But the water- the light- kept pushing him away. Fear assailed him. _Master, I can't!_

_Yes you can, Obi-Wan. Swim! You're strong. You can make it. I know you can._

He pushed hard against the light, trying so hard to get to her that tears had started streaming down his cheeks. He didn't call out again, knowing she wanted him to do this on his own. _I can make it, I can make it, _he thought. He fought against the current.

A wave of terrible Force crashed into him from his right, overwhelming him and dragging him under. _Master! Master Ahleh! _Darkness surrounded him, tying him down.

Strong arms were wrapped around him and he pulled his arms free of the binding darkness to cling to his rescuer. As he came out of the vision, he could smell her hair and feel the rough weave of her tunic against his cheek. He closed his eyes and took in deep breaths.

His feet touched the floor and he opened his eyes. His master was crouching in front of him, her hands on his shoulders. Her eyes were intense and worried.

"Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan, are you all right?"

_It was all in my head, _the boy thought and ducked his head, trying to hide his face. _But if it was all in my head, how did I get back to the floor?_ "I'm sorry, Master Ahleh. I disgraced you."

She blinked. "Where did you hear such a word?" Putting her fingers under his chin, Ahleh encouraged him to look up.

"I… heard it." He didn't want to admit he'd been spying. Besides, Padawans should never speak ill of the Jedi around them.

"Where, Obi-Wan? From who?"

he swallowed, realizing that if he delayed any longer she would make her question an order. "Master Ali Linn. He told his padawan that he was glad I wasn't his padawan because I'm a disgrace."

Her mouth tightened down at the corners. "You're not a disgrace, Obi-Wan. The only disgrace is a padawan who doesn't try." Then she stood and turned him towards Master Yoda and Master Qui-Gon.

"Levitating you were," Yoda noted, and he smiled at Obi-Wan. "Unintentional it was, I sense, but accomplished it still was. Scared you were?"

"Yes, Master. I got lost. I was trying to find the Garden of Light." He felt the heat in his cheeks. "I thought I knew where it was."

"Calmed yourself you did," Yoda said. "Control over your emotions you are gaining. My techniques you practiced?"

"Yes, Master."

Yoda nodded. "Proud of you I am, Padawan." He smiled again, then glanced at the others. "May the Force be with you." Leaning on his stick, Yoda started away.

Qui-Gon stepped forward. "That was well-done, young one," he said. "You could give many padawans lessons."

Obi-Wan looked down, ashamed. "Please don't say that, Master Qui-Gon. I know I'm slow to learn the ways of the Force."

"I wasn't talking about your little flight," Qui-Gon answered. "You are far ahead of many padawans in the trust of your master and in patience. Congratulations." He smiled, bowed to the two of them, and started away.

Obi-Wan looked after him, then glanced up at his master. "I'm sorry I got lost, Master Ahleh."

She put her hand on his shoulder and steered him back towards their quarters. "Maybe it's time I taught you how to find your way around the Temple. Let's take a walk."

"But what about sparring practice?" Obi-Wan glanced out one of the windows as they passed. "I'm supposed to work on that before dinner."

She squeezed his shoulder. "This is more important." And then, after a moment, "I'm very proud of you, Obi-Wan."

oOo

Qui-Gon gestured towards the couch. "You can sit if you want. I'm just going to start the kettle," he said, heading towards the kitchen.

Obi-Wan didn't sit down. Instead, he stood in the center of the room and turned in a full circle, looking for something, even though he wasn't sure what. He saw paintings on the walls, but most of them didn't mean anything to him. Most were of cold things: star systems, single planets, starships. But one portrait caught his eye. A group of ten padawans stood, shoulder to shoulder, just behind Master Yoda. Most of the padawans in the group looked to be only a year or two older than Obi-Wan. The young padawan wandered over to the picture, wanting to see what was written at the bottom. In a fine, flowing script, names were written under the line of padawans. His eye caught two names: Qui-Gon Jinn and, close beside him, Ahleh Windu. Tracing a line up from the names to the padawans above, Obi-Wan was shocked to see his former master with her hair cut short except for the traditional braid over her shoulder. Her smile was the same, though: warm and inviting.

"I remember the day that picture was taken," said Qui-Gon from behind him. He stepped closer and touched the frame almost reverently. "I was late for it because I couldn't find a set of robes that wasn't stained." He chuckled. "Even the robe I'm wearing has a small spot." He pointed the almost-hidden blotch and Obi-Wan smiled tentatively.

"Was my master late?"

"Ahleh was never late for anything." Qui-Gon shook his head. "She used to get so frustrated with me because I always did something to make myself late. I was obsessed with embarrassing my master and annoying Master Yoda. That's what Ahleh always claimed. When I became a Jedi a mere four days after she passed her own trials, she asked if Master Dooku couldn't stand me anymore."

"Were you a bad padawan?" Obi-Wan asked, still staring at the spot on Qui-Gon's robe.

"Only in my punctuality… and my lack of organization… and my disregard for certain rules… and…" Qui-Gon noticed Obi-Wan's smile was a little less tentative, almost looking as if the boy wanted to smile. "All right, I wasn't the best padawan. I never turned to the dark side, but I did as much as I could to annoy as many people as possible." He thought of Xanatos briefly, but banished the thought. _I can't grieve both for him and for Ahleh at the same time. When Obi-Wan isn't here, I'll think about my padawan._

"It looks like chocolate," Obi-Wan noted.

Qui-Gon snorted. "It was bennshi feces." He saw the confused look on Obi-Wan's face and said, "Feces is a polite word for droppings. Poop."

Obi-Wan snickered. "But… but didn't it stink?"

"Of course it did! The minute the picture was done, Ahleh punched me for making everything stink. I had to wash every set of robes I owned by hand. Master Dooku's orders, but encouraged by Master Yoda. I've always kept a clean robe hidden somewhere since then."

"I once made a floating ball explode," Obi-Wan confided. "I was trying so hard to find the Force that I got angry." He blushed. "Master Yoda taught me how to control my anger after that."

"Master Yoda is good for that. He was always someone I could turn to when I was angry with the way things were happening around me." Again, Qui-Gon snorted. "Usually, the way things were going was for the best, but it took Master Yoda's patient explanations to teach me to accept the truth." He asked, somewhat abruptly, Obi-Wan thought, "Do you want your tea with milk and sugar?"

Obi-Wan glanced up at him. "I've never had tea before."

"Then I definitely recommend milk and sugar. Go sit on the couch and I'll bring it to you." He started back towards the kitchen.

"But I'm supposed to help with things like that," Obi-Wan said, starting after him. "I have to be polite and help any Jedi that I can, if I can."

"I don't want to think of myself as a Jedi right now," Qui-Gon answered. "I just want to be me for a few hours. So can we forget for a while that you're a padawan and I'm a master?"

Obi-Wan thought about that. It suited him really well, actually, and he retreated to the couch. Because if he was a padawan, he needed a master, and his master was dead.

When they were both sitting on the couch with their tea-cups held between their hands, Qui-Gon asked, "Do you want to tell a story about her or should I tell one?"

Obi-Wan looked down into his cup. "I don't have any stories."

"All right. Then I'll tell one. When Ahleh and I were fourteen, we were assigned to a mission with our masters. It was our first dangerous mission, a treaty-signing. Usually, that sort of thing is handled by one Master and his or her Padawan. But the Magistrate on Aal-Zing ordered that only two Jedi Masters would be acceptable or he would feel uncomfortable. The Zingans believed in many voices making one harmonious song. It's sort of the same idea as the demoncracy of the Republic." He cleared his throat. "Sorry. Did I say that out loud? I meant democracy. Except, for some reason, the system set up on Aal-Zing worked better than our Senate does." He shook his head. "Anyway…"

Three hours later, Qui-Gon glanced out the window and noticed that the sun had gone down. Obi-Wan was yawning and he had curled up on the end of the couch, resting his head on the arm.

"Do you have somewhere to sleep, Obi-Wan?" the Jedi asked softly.

The boy blinked up at him. "Yes, I…" Tears filled his eyes, the first Qui-Gon had seen since he drew the boy away from the window. Obi-Wan looked away. "No. I can't sleep there. She isn't my master anymore."

"Then you can stay here tonight," Qui-Gon announced. "Come on. I have an extra bed."

"Why?" Obi-Wan asked as he got off the couch, hastily rubbing his eyes.

"My padawan moved on a few days ago."

But the young padawan asked, his gaze fixed on the floor, "Can I sleep out here? I want to be…" He glanced over at the picture, then back at the floor."

"I used to come out here and meditate in front of that picture when I was feeling especially troubled," Qui-Gon said. "And I think this is one of those times I might have trouble getting to sleep. Want to help me move some blankets out here?"

When Qui-Gon had set up a bed of sorts for Obi-Wan on the small couch nearest the picture and had made his own bed on the longer couch, he picked up the mugs and took them into the kitchen. As he rinsed them, he heard Obi-Wan talking to himself. Closing his eyes and stepping a little away from the noisy cleaner, Qui-Gon listened.

"Please don't give up on me, Master. I want to learn about the Force so I can be close to you. Please don't give up on me. Help me if you can. Thank you."

When the boy had been silent for a full minute, Qui-Gon turned off the cleaner, leaving the mugs half-done. He strode into the front room and saw that Obi-Wan was sitting in front of the picture, staring up at it. The Master's heart tightened to see the boy looking so alone. He crossed to Obi-Wan and sat beside him. "Why don't we meditate a little before we sleep?"

"I don't meditate well," Obi-Wan whispered. He brushed at his cheeks, trying to get rid of the tears.

"Well, is it all right if I meditate with my hand on your shoulder? That way, some of what I feel will be passed to you."

"You mean, if you get close to Master Ahleh I'll be able to feel it, too?"

Qui-Gon nodded.

Obi-Wan moved to sit close enough that their knees touched. He put his hand on Qui-Gon's own. "I'm ready."

Qui-Gon didn't really meditate that first night; he was in too much pain. And, more than that, he didn't want to seek serenity at that moment. What he really wanted to do was think about Ahleh. But he pretended to meditate until Obi-Wan fell asleep against him. Then, gently, he carried Ahleh's padawan to the smaller couch and tucked the blankets around him.

"Good night, young one," he murmured as he retreated to his own couch. "I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well and dream of her."

oOo

Qui-Gon's store of bound encyclopedias had been plundered. The Jedi saw this before he noticed anything else. Qui-Gon wandered into the study and took stock of the situation. The books that had been scattered over the long table were all open. Some had pictures of planets, others had star charts. A few were so crammed with words that Qui-Gon wondered how Obi-Wan could stand to read them. But read them he did. In the middle of the mess, pad in one hand, Obi-Wan was taking notes on the passage he was reading. He was so intent on his work that he didn't hear his master approach until the man cleared his throat.

Obi-Wan's head snapped up, braid swinging. "Hi, Master," he said sheepishly. "I didn't hear you come in."

Qui-Gon chuckled and sat in a chair on the other side of the table. "I guessed that much, Padawan mine. What are you studying with such fervor?" For an instant, the Master's mind jumped back to Xanatos, whom he and Obi-Wan had encountered less than a year ago. _Encountered nothing; he set a trap for me. And Obi-Wan was the one who got hurt. _Shaking off the memory, Qui-Gon latched onto what had started his thoughts about Xanatos: _I never called him 'Padawan mine.' He wouldn't have stood for it, for one thing. But, more importantly, it never crossed my mind to say such a thing to him. _He smiled, relishing the fact that he could say such endearments to Obi-Wan.

"Meleda Sing gave us work," fifteen-year old Obi-Wan answered. "For writing. We have an essay due in three days. In class, we've been studying comparing and contrasting in a formal essay. Our assignment is to choose three planets: one in the heart of the Republic, one in the Outer Rim and one outside the Republic, study them, list five things they have in common and ten things they don't."

Qui-Gon blinked. Had he ever been given such an assignment? He thought not. And yet, it was a useful tool. Through it, Obi-Wan would learn what was important in a planet survey and what could be ignored. Not that he hadn't learned much of that first hand. "How long is this essay to be?"

"Five thousand words," Obi-Wan replied serenely.

_He's never been disturbed by hard work, _Qui-Gon thought. "And what three planets did you choose, Padawan mine?"

"Naboo for a planet in the Repulic, Tatooine for a planet on the Outer Rim, and Rojo IV for a planet outside the Republic."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "Why Rojo IV?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "It looks interesting. The being on that planet are nicknamed the Undead. I want to find out why."

His master smiled. _He sounds like me when I was his age._ "Ah. Well, will that be in your books?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Plus, if I can't find anything, I'm allowed to consult with any Jedi that isn't my teacher."

" 'With any Jedi _who_ isn't my teacher,' " Qui-Gon corrected, aware of his grammatical duties. Whether he liked them was another matter. Still, Obi-Wan needed to use language properly or he might be dismissed by the ruler of a planet.

Obi-Wan blushed and repeated the sentence.

Qui-Gon stood. "I'm going to start dinner. Come out in about forty minutes and set the table, please."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Of course, Master." He smiled at the older man, then turned back to his book, at once losing himself in the information there.

Qui-Gon watched his padawan for a moment, then left the room. As he strode into the kitchen, he reflected how easily Obi-Wan smiled these days. _In spite of everything that has happened to him, he still manages to find joy in the universe. Ahleh taught him well. _Once more, his thoughts tried to go to Xanatos and the crime the former Jedi had committed against Obi-Wan. Again, Qui-Gon refused to think on it. _Obi-Wan has healed; that's all I can ask for._

In the study, Obi-Wan's lips moved as he read. _'The Undead are so named because they seem neither dead nor alive.' _He snorted. _No duh. 'With skins of palest white, they resemble thin drawings rather than something of flesh and blood. This is ironic because the food the people of Rojo IV rely on is blood. Everything from their social order to their economics is based on the raising of other life-forms for blood.'_

_Like the cowahs on Sevegra,_ Obi-Wan thought. _But why do I get the feeling that many of the life-forms on Rojo IV are sentient?_ He grimaced at the thought, but read on, curiosity and determination overriding distaste.

'_Unlike many planets, where livestock must be penned so that it can be taken when needed, the life-forms on Rojo IV are marked. As a babe, each is bitten by its owner and a small amount of blood is taken. When this occurs, a chemical process takes place wherein the life-form is identifiable not only as food source, but also as belonging to a specific family of Undead.'_

Obi-Wan's stomach twisted and he suddenly forgot about the essay he was supposed to write. Those last words- identifiable as a food source- made his skin scrawl. _It's like having an invisible mark on your forehead that proclaims what you are._ He understood that his lightsaber labeled him as a Jedi… _But that isn't the same thing. I'm labeled as a powerful individual, not as food. And besides, Master Qui-Gon and I have hidden what we are before in an attempt to make things go smoothly on a planet that doesn't wish to receive Jedi._

_To be marked as a food source… _He shivered, and suddenly understood why he felt so uncomfortable. _I'm marked like that. _It was Xanatos he was thinking of. _He said it himself. "I know you've been touched before, pretty one. It's almost a stench."_

Flashback

The trap had been set for Qui-Gon, but Xanatos had been distracted almost at once by the lean, fiery padawan at his old master's side. As he gazed up at the imprisoned Jedi, smiling at how easily they had been captured, his eyes were drawn from Qui-Gon's emotionless mask to the young boy at his side. He had wracked his eyes over the teen, and his target had shifted to the side, as if trying to hide behind his master.

"Is this your new padawan?" Xanatos asked, looking back at Qui-Gon. "What's his name?"

"I'm Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi," the boy snapped, coming out from behind Qui-Gon. "Who are you?"

Xanatos laughed. "You don't recognize me?" He chuckled. "But then, why should you? We've only met once." He stroked his goatee. "My, my, and you've certainly grown. Why aren't you serving that bitch anymore?"

Obi-Wan lunged for the bars of the hanging cage.

Qui-Gon caught his arm and bent his head towards the boy. "Obi-Wan," he whispered. Then, in his padawan's mind, _What is anger?_

Obi-Wan had been glaring at Xanatos, but at his master's words he looked down, trying to collect himself. _Anger is a path to the Dark Side, _he answered. _I'm sorry, Master._

_You are forgiven. But I'm going to need you to be clear-headed about this. Xanatos is very dangerous. I need my padawan at my side._

Obi-Wan straightened. _Yes, Master. I will guard your back._

Qui-Gon nodded and looked down at Xanatos. "A trap, my former padawan? Such things should be beneath you. What do you want?"

"You found a pretty one at last, Qui-Gon. Does he please you in bed?"

Obi-Wan flushed, but aware of his master's request, he turned his eyes to Qui-Gon. The man's face was unreadable and that gave Obi-Wan comfort. _He's just making noise, _the boy thought. _It's all just noise._

"I can see he looks to you for everything. And his blush makes him quite attractive."

"If all you can do is squawk like a sheshe, I'm going to meditate," Qui-Gon answered. He sat down, right there on the cage floor, crossed his legs and closed his eyes.

Obi-Wan copied him, delighted to see how furious his master had made the man with only those few words. Meditation came much more easily to him now, and so Obi-Wan was able to feel the Force around him immediately.

"I know you've been touched before, pretty one," Xanatos went on, his voice soft and slippery as pure silk. "It's almost a stench. I'd say you've been touched at least twice, though perhaps not entered."

Obi-Wan's lips twitched and he moved closer to Qui-Gon. Without looking, his master put his arm around his apprentice, comforting him.

Qui-Gon sent, _He's only trying to hurt you, Obi-Wan. You are stronger than he is, and he knows this. He fears it. Your patience and your dedication are stronger. Abide in that truth. Meditate on it._

"You were touched at the age of three, I believe. By an older man, yes? Oh, he liked you, didn't he, Obi-Wan? He liked you and told you that he would teach you to meditate, that the Force could feel good-"

Qui-Gon rose, touching Obi-Wan's shoulder to keep him seated. He stood between the two of them, as if his body could be a physical shield against the poisonous words. His face was still serene, but there was a commanding, protective set to his jaw and shoulders that hadn't been there before. He didn't speak.

Tears began to trickle down Obi-Wan's cheeks. _Please! _he longed to shout. _Master Qui-Gon doesn't know! Master Yoda doesn't know! Don't tell them, please!_

Sensing Obi-Wan's distress, Qui-Gon turned and dropped to his knees, laying his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders. "Padawan mine, listen," he whispered. "He can't hurt you with words unless you let him hurt you. Fight him, Padawan mine. You are stronger than this."

"But I know the truth and your little whore doesn't want anyone to know. He's so afraid of being expelled from the Order. If you only knew how impure he is…" Xanatos laughed and Obi-Wan cringed.

"Please, Master…" he whispered. "Please, I…" Then he took in a shuddering breath as something warm, strong and enveloping consumed him, immersing him in protection. He heard no voice, but leaned into the comforting embrace. Slowly, he began to calm. His tears slowed, then stopped. He found his center within the Force and dwelt there for a moment. When he felt sure of his strength, he opened his eyes and met his Master's gaze. "I'm sorry, Master," he said, his voice changed, deeper, like it had been when he challenged Xanatos, though without the anger. "With the help of the Force, and with you at my side, I will be-"

"Do you even know the name of the man who touched you, Obi-Wan?" Xanatos's taunting voice floated up to them. "I suppose you don't. He was a bearded man, but that's all you know. And he knew Qui-Gon quite well. Didn't he? I think you were quite relieved when he left the Jedi order."

Obi-Wan took another deep breath. "I'm all right, Master," he said, squaring his shoulders. "I'll stand at your side."

"Thank you, Padawan mine." Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan to his feet and stood with his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Say what you want or let us go," Qui-Gon said then, staring down at Xanatos. "Attacking with words is a pastime for cowards."

"And listening to words is the pastime of your whore." Xanatos grinned. "But maybe you're right. Maybe I should just take Obi-Wan and show him what I know. In spite of what Yoda says, you can meditate through sexual contact, pretty one. It's really quite easy, actually. Shall I show you?"

Obi-Wan moved closer to Qui-Gon. Memories of the Jedi Master who had touched him, and of the more recent touching by another padawan, made him almost sick with fear. _He said I haven't been entered. Will he rape me? _Obi-Wan felt his tears starting again and forced them back. _No. They like to see tears. Telka did, anyway. I don't want him to see how scared I am._

"Oh, but I already know," Xanatos answered, still grinning. "I know all about your terror. You don't want it again, but like I said, it's a stench."

Again, that warm feeling enveloped Obi-Wan. This time, he heard his master's thoughts in his mind. _I don't know how he could read your thoughts, but now he can't. I've put a shield around you. It only has a limited range- you need to stay close to me for it to work- but it will block him._

_Thank you, Master._

The cage began to descend. _Stay close to me, Obi-Wan._

_I will, Master. _Obi-Wan sensed Qui-Gon gathering the Force about him. _He's going to use it because we don't have our lightsabers._ The young apprentice imitated his master, though he hadn't yet learned to use his connection to the Force as a weapon. This was something he should have learned when he was quite young, but like so many others things, he hadn't been ready for it at the time. _If we survive this, I'll ask Master Qui-Gon to teach me._

_First, of course we'll make it through this, _Qui-Gon said in his mind. _Second, you can learn some of how to do it by watching me. The whole world is a classroom, Obi-Wan, and observation and experience are the best teachers._

_Yes, Master._

The cage touched down and Xanatos approached the door, still grinning his small grin. "Those bars defy the Force, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, Qui-Gon. But when I open the door, I'm sure you'll try to use everything in your power to protect yourself and your little padawan." His grin broadened. "Too bad I'm not going to open the door." He waved his hand. The floor of the cage, and the ground beneath it, dropped out from under the Jedi.

Qui-Gon grabbed Obi-Wan's arm so they wouldn't be separated and drew his padawan close to protect him from anything that might be coming. The two of them dropped into darkness.

End Flashback

"Obi-Wan, did you fall asleep in there?" Qui-Gon called from the kitchen.

Obi-Wan sat up so fast he knocked his pad off the table. Groaning, feeling slightly sick, he bent over to get the pad. His shoulder knocked the book he'd been reading onto the floor and the padawan cursed very softly, rubbing at his shoulder.

Qui-Gon appeared in the doorway to the study. "I see that you were asleep," he teased, grinning.

That grin, even though it was kind, reminded Obi-Wan of Xanatos, and the young Jedi shivered.

Qui-Gon walked to his side and touched his shoulder. All humor had left his voice. "Padawan mine, what is it?"

"I just…" Obi-Wan chewed at his upper lip. "I just…"

His master drew him to his feet and hugged him.

Obi-Wan sometimes wondered if other masters did such things with their padawans. Not that he was complaining. At once, he buried his face in his master's tunic, closing his eyes and letting the tension seep out of his body. He shivered again as an image of Xanatos flitted across his mind. But thankfully it was brief.

"Padawan mine, what are you thinking of?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Xanatos," Obi-Wan admitted. "Something in what I was reading reminded me of him." He tried to laugh. "It's stupid. I shouldn't have let my thoughts rule me like that. I'm sorry, Master." He made as if to pull away, but it was only a half-hearted movement, and Qui-Gon knew it.

The Jedi Master tightened his arms around his apprentice. "I'm here for you, Padawan mine. I promised that I would always look after you, watch out for you, as long as I'm a Jedi." He tilted Obi-Wan's chin up so their eyes met. "Do you still believe that?"

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan straightened his shoulders. "I'll be all right. It was just… hard to ignore." He glanced back at the table. "But I don't want to be in here alone right now. Can I set the table?"

"Actually, I was hoping you would stir the soup while I chop up vegetables for a salad."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Okay."

o-----------------------------------------o

tbc

**A/N:** Thank you to all those that reviewed. There are notes for each of you at the end. But I have some frustrating news (frustrating for me, anyway): In two days, relatives from far away are coming to visit, so I won't get a chance to write. Then, the week after that, I'm going out of state for a long convention. I hope to post the next chapter on July 11th or 12th. I'm sorry it will take so long. Don't give up on me, please.

**A/N2:** I know I wrote that twice, but I wanted everybody to see it.

**BreathingFlames:** I hope you're not disappointed that you didn't get to find out ber'Nac's fate yet. And it won't be in the next chapter, either, I don't think, but it should be in the one after that. I hope. Thank you for your review. You brightened my day. As I said, I'll be back on this story as soon as I can.

**Gizzi1213:** I'll ask the characters in here if they want to stay true to the movies and get back to you on that. Chances are, I won't know long before you do.

**YuYuChan:** blush Thank you. Anakin wants to know if his performance was good, Qui-Gon is smiling cryptically and Obi-Wan is refusing to give in to the praise. (He's secretly very pleased, I think, just trying to look serene and in tune with the Force.)

**Ely:** Thank you so much for your review. I really enjoy the connection between Obi-Wan and Anakin, too. I didn't know it would be this much fun.

**Moonjava:** Thank you. I'm flattered. BTW, the next chapter (plus extra stuff like journal entries) should be up for "The Miracle of Three" by Friday. Don't worry about the author notes: I'll just be telling the readers on the Static Shock section what I told everyone here.


	4. ObiWan Memories2

**A/N:** Okay, _now_ I'm going away. See everyone in three weeks!

**A/N2:** One reviewer asked about this, but I think others might have the same question. So I'll put it up here. Basically, I was asked why Xanatos has such a problem with ObiWan and Qui-Gon. I should have talked more about Xanatos, I think. And I will, in the next chapter. But he went to the Dark Side while he was Qui-Gon's padawan, and left. Qui-Gon felt guilty for this, at least at first. (All this is in the Jedi Apprentice series, but I haven't read most of the books, so I've really changed things up.) Xanatos led some sort of attack on the Jedi Temple itself when Obi-Wan was fourteen, and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon went to Telos on an unofficial mission (not approved by the Jedi council) to bring Xanatos to justice. Xanatos killed himself in front of them rather than risk capture.

Obi-Wan's Memories (2)

Instead of settling in for meditation and study, as was usually their habit after the evening meal, Qui-Gon proposed an unusual suggestion. As Obi-Wan was helping to clear the table, his master said, "I feel like a walk tonight. Will you join me?"

Obi-Wan glanced up at him and blinked, trying to hide his surprise. He knew he should return to his research, but… "I'd like that." He swallowed. He had meant to say: "okay" or "all right." _I'd like that? What sort of answer is that? _Then he admitted, _An honest one. Unfortunately._

"Then let's get everything put away," his master answered, smiling.

Five minutes later, the two of them left their quarters. Obi-Wan began the walk by staying in his accustomed place just behind his master's right shoulder. At first Qui-Gon allowed this. But when the two of them entered the Garden of Light, he slowed his pace and said, "You can walk beside me, Obi-Wan. This isn't a formal meeting."

He seemed to want to say more; Obi-Wan felt this truth rather than hearing it. But his master didn't continue. The padawan moved forward so that he walked at his master's side, his eyes straight ahead. Neither of them spoke as they passed from one circle of bellflowers into the next, listening to the chiming of the beautiful blossoms as they nodded a sleepy greeting to the passersby. Above, the sky darkened, though it never turned completely black or was dotted with stars. There was too much pollution and far too many lights. Obi-Wan's mind slipped towards the first time he'd seen stars, only to be shocked back to reality as Xanatos's face was imposed over the remembered sky of Nan'sol. Again, the padawan couldn't stop a shiver from traveling up his back.

_It's been months! _he chided himself. _Can't you forget him, or at least put him in the back of your mnd?_

But in the back of Obi-Wan's mind was where the ex-Jedi had resided since the Council debriefing two months ago. And now he seemed tired of that place, deciding to invade more than just Obi-Wan's dreams. _Sometimes I wish I wasn't a Jedi so I could have killed you, _Obi-Wan thought, more out of desperation than anger. _Then maybe I wouldn't think about you so often._

But it was more than what Xanatos had done that bothered him. It was what the man had said about Obi-Wan being marked. And the padawan couldn't argue with the fact that he'd now been molested three times in his short life. _Add to that rape, _he added, shivering again, yanking down his long tunic as if to protect himself. _I am marked. And if I can't scrub that mark off, what's going to happen to me? Will I spend the rest of my life like this, always hunted, always watched?_

He took in a deep breath, hoping to calm himself. _To be a Jedi is to be watched by unfriendly eyes. But when those eyes live even in the Temple, where can I find safety? _As he had so many times before, Obi-Wan turned his eyes to his master, the man who had rescued him from death more times than he could count, the man who had tended him after Xanatos's attack. The one, too, who had taught him almost everything he kenw about being a Jedi. Obi-Wan longed to cry out, "Help me, Master!" but he didn't think Qui-Gon could help him get rid of the mark of a whore.

_No! _he thought, shocked at that last word. _I'm not a whore! That's Xanatos's word! I will not use it. I am a Jedi and, marked or not, I will not let Xanatos's words destroy me! I am stronger than that!_

But he found himself wondering how many more sexual assaults he would be able to take. How many more would he _have_ to take? _I'm stronger now; I can fight now. But I could fight when we walked into Xanatos's trap; it did no good. Maybe because I am marked I am also slated for abuse. There are certain parts of our destiny none of us can avoid. Master Yoda taught me that._

Then he shook his head so violently his braid slapped him in the gace. He didn't feel the weak burn on his cheek. _Master Yoda also says that we can't know which things cannot be changed and should progress as if everything can be changed for the better. To do otherwise is not only to be a coward, but to disobey the Force. I won't do that. When Xanatos took me, all I had was my connection to the Force._

Obi-Wan glanced at his master for the first time since they had stepped outside, and saw that Qui-Gon was looking straight ahead. _Okay, the Force and my master. Even if he couldn't get to me, he tried to comfort me. I will always be grateful for that._

"Let's take this path," Qui-Gon said suddenly, putting his hand on Obi-Wan to steer him through the small gate. At once, a dimness closed around them that seemed to shut out the rest of the world. Even the sky was hidden by the thick leaves of overhanging trees. The path beneath their feet had become strewn with soft, brown needles that muffled their steps.

As the Garden of Light disappeared behind them, Obi-Wan moved closer to his master, not wanting Qui-Gon to remove his hand. Again, the padawan wondered if other masters and apprentices touched this way. _They might, you know. Master Qui-Gon doesn't usually touch me like this is public._

_See? Even he wants to touch you; he's just careful about it. One day he'll trail his fingers down your back to that supple ass of yours and-_

Obi-Wan flinched, pulling away from his master so quickly that he stumbled and started to fall.

Qui-Gon caught him. Without a word, he half-carried the stunned and frightened padawan to a bench. There he sat and bid Obi-Wan sit beside him. Turning to face his young apprentice in the dimness, he asked, "Will you open your mind to me, Obi-Wan? In the last six weeks your knowledge of shields has grown by leaps and bounds, but now I seek to know your heart." He didn't touch Obi-Wan again, but his eyes were dark with concern. "Let me help you, Padawan mine. You're in pain, and I love you too much to watch you suffer alone. Please let our bond form again."

Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon could push through his shields if he wanted to, and that his master was asking permission calmed Obi-Wan a little. Still, he didn't let his shield drop just yet. "Please don't rebuke me for my thoughts, Master."

If Qui-Gon was startled by the sudden, formal request, he didn't show it. The request could be made only when a padawan was in more need of comfort than teaching. And while some padawans tried to use the words as a guard, it was up to the master to agree or to refuse their request. Obi-Wan had asked for freedom from rebuke only once before, but it had happened recently. He had begged it of Qui-Gon before the two of them stood in front of the Council and Obi-Wan confessed what he had been living with for most of his life. Qui-Gon had granted his request then. _And I will do so now. _"I will not rebuke you, Obi-Wan."

His padawan's shield dropped and Qui-Gon was nearly overwhelmed by the feelings of bitterness, despair, guilt and terror that rolled out of his apprentice's mind like relentless waves breaking on a shore.

The moment Obi-Wan let go, he let everything go. Burying his head in his hands, he burst into tears, his whole body shaking with the effort it took to keep his sobs almost inaudible.

Images flitted across Qui-Gon's mind, and he knew all that Obi-Wan had thought, all that had been tormenting the teen. He read Obi-Wan's momentary fear of him and wasn't angered by it. As the waves continued to roll over him, Qui-Gon learned of Obi-Wan's fear of being marked, which he hadn't brought before the Council. _But how could he? It si a fear they would not have been able to assuage. Nor can I. For such marks do exist, though only a few can read them. Not even I can read them._

Obi-Wan asked, using his mental voice so that he would have to try and speak, _Will I always be so marked, Master?_

_Padawan mine, the little I know of marks like that is that they can't be detected by many, and those that can sense them are unable to do so after a number of years. My guess is that Xanatos couldn't see or feel your mark, but pretended that he could after he read your thoughts. Now that you are able to use your shields, less than one in a thousand beings will know. And as I said, many of those will lose the ability to see that mark as the years pass. There will come a day when you are not marked any longer._

Obi-Wan swallowed, then cleared his throat. His tears were slowing. His mind was quieting, though slowly. _Can you sense it?_

_No. I am not cursed with such an ability._ Qui-Gon sat silent for a moment, listening to Obi-Wan calm himself. He willed himself to wait until Obi-Wan was erady to talked more. When his padawan at last straightened, having wiped his face, and turned towards him in the dimness, Qui-Gon saw the gratefulness in his padawan's eyes.

"If it will someday be gone, then I have hope," Obi-Wan said. He made as if to stand.

Qui-Gon held up a hand. "Wait a moment, Obi-Wan. There are still things that have been left unsaid." His apprentice sat again. "First, I want ou to know that all in the Temple who were a danger to you are gone. But since you have been marked, I will ask Master Yoda to conduct an investigation to see if anyone who remains here has the ability to sense the mark. I am almost positive no one here will have that ability."

Obi-Wan blushed slightly but smiled, his eyes looking less dark and lost.

"Second, know that I will always be here whenever you need me. Your days of staying behind while I go on missions are long behind you. We will work on strengthening our bond so that you may call me from one side of the Temple when you are on the other. And I will teach you how to get my attention over that distance even if my shields have to be up for some negotiation.

Forgetting every fear, Obi-Wan threw his arms around his master. Qui-Gon's arms came naturally around his padawan's back and drew him closer, comforting him.

"I love you, Padawan mine. I will take care of you. I swear it."

"I love you, too, Master." Obi-Wan closed his eyes and listened for a moment toQui-Gon's heartbeat. When the sound had come inside him, slowing his own racing heart, the teen whispered, "Thank you."

"All is well, Padawan mine." He held Obi-Wan at arm's length. "But if it isn't, if the despair I sensed in you bubbles up again, come to me. I'll be listening for your internal serenity, but never hesitate to come to me. Some things, terrible things, can only be healed by time. That isn't a failing but part of being alive." He cupped Obi-Wan's cheek in his calloused hand. "No matter what anyone tells you, no matter what you hear from others, never forget that I am very proud of you, that I couldn't have asked for a better padawan or a better friend. Someday soon, when you are a Knight, I will look on these days with sadness mixed with joy, thinking of the loving, patient, kind and faithful padawan I once trained."

He stood, guiding Obi-Wan to his feet. "Will you remember all this for me, Padawan mine?"

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan gladly hugged his master when Qui-Gon drew him close again.

A thought, one Obi-Wan would doubt only a moment later, then forget, crossed his mind. _I could love you, Qui-Gon. I could love you the way those outside of the Jedi love._

oOo

The next morning, while Qui-Gon was gone, Obi-Wan kept himself busy. The Jedi master wouldn't return until dinner time, having been summoned to special-techniques sessions. Obi-Wan wouldn't be allowed to attend such things until he, too, was a Knight. The padawan finished his study of the three planets and organized his notes. Half the morning was gone. He cleaned their quarters. Another hour had slipped away. He couldn't quite bring himself to meditate or to seek out a sparring partner, so he tried to settle in with a book. But he had been reading already that morning and couldn't disappear into the pages before him.

Frowning, Obi-Wan put the book back and started to pace. Meditation would have helped, he knew, but he was afraid to reach to the Force just then. _I dreamed of all of them last night, _he thought. _I know I did. I just can't remember exactly what I dreamed. I don't want to have a chance to think about Dooku or Telka or Xanatos. What can I do that will keep me busy for another six or seven hours?_

_The library. I could go to the library and do research on Master Ahleh. I've been meaning to learn more about her than Master Qui-Gon told me. I want to know what planet she came from and whose padawan she was._ He grinned. _And other, more amusing things, if I can._ His mind made up, Obi-Wan left the room and strode down the hall.

Halfway to the library, he met a group of about twenty younglings. Master Yoda walked behind them and spoke to them of the history of the Temple. When he saw Obi-Wan, who had stepped to the side so he wouldn't be in the way, Yoda stopped walking and called, "Younglings!"

When the children were all facing him, the master said, "Greet Padawan Obi-Wan."

Almost as one, the younglings turned to Obi-Wan and bowed. "Hello, Padawan Obi-Wan!" they chorused.

Obi-Wan smiled and bowed in return. "Hello."

"Where going are you?" Yoda asked.

"I'm headed to the library, Master. I want to learn more about Master Ahleh and about her master."

"Ah. Respects the past and its lessons, Padawan Obi-Wan does," Yoda said. "Come, younglings. Go we must."

Obi-Wan watched them until they were out of sight, then resumed his journey. But his mind had left his former master. Instead, he found himself thinking of the Council hearing he'd attended. _Attended nothing; that whole meeting was _about_ me. _He sighed. _I'd like to study it, now that I'm not part of it. What was Master Qui-Gon doing? I don't remember. How did the Council look? I don't remember that, either. All I remember is feeling nervous and afraid they would expel me from the Order._

Picking up his pace, not quite running, Obi-Wan realized, _There would be a holographic/audio record of the debriefing. I want to see it._ As he neared the doors to the archives, a special section of the library that dealt only with past events, he slowed his pace to a walk, wanting to seem completely in control and adult-like._And what excuse will I make for wanting to seethe record? Well, they're not restricted, so I probably won't have to say anything. I'll cross that bridge if I have to._

He approached an assistant Archivist, glad that the head of the department was busy elsewhere. "Excuse me, please," he said to the young woman, "but I'd like to view the Council debriefing that took place on the seventeenth day of Month Two at three turns past sunrise." He watched as the assistant at once bent over her screen, checking.

"You're in luck, Padawan," she said, flashing him a smile. "It's in. I'll sign you out a room. Name, please?"

"Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Her smile broadened. "You're Master Qui-Gon's padawan, right?"

The teen blinked. "Yes. How did you know?"

She waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, he's spoken of you many times." She studied her screen for another moment, then said, "This way." She led Obi-Wan through rows upon rows of shelves, each crammed with holodisks.

_No books here, _Obi-Wan thought. He tended to prefer printed editions of things, a liking he had gotten from Qui-Gon. Being able to hold something made it seem more personal, somehow.

He was guided into a small room with an empty space in the middle. The assistant led him over to a short podium. "Here are the controls." She punched in a quick code. "The debriefing is standing by on pause. Have you used these machines before, Padawan Obi-Wan?"

"Yes." How many hours had he spent in here doing homework? Fifty? One hundred? One thousand? "I'll manage. Thank you for your help."

She smiled. "Have a good time." She winked, assuming, probably, that Obi-Wan was doing research for a project.

When he was alone, Obi-Wan activated the recording. Chairs encircled the open space, but Obi-Wan wanted to be able to see from every angle, so he didn't bother to sit.

Ghostly blue chairs appeared, each holding an equally-ghostly Jedi Master. Obi-Wan knew most of the masters by name: Master Yoda, and beside him, Master Mace. On the left side of the circle sat Master Adee Larn and Master Zee. He knew some of the others, but stopped identifying them when blue doors opened and a holographic Qui-Gon led his apprentice into the room.

Obi-Wan, looking so much younger than the real counterpart felt, stepped into the center of the circle, biting his lip when his master took two steps back, leaving him effectively alone.

"Here to punish you we are not, Obi-Wan," Yoda began at once. "Fear us you do not need to."

The boy tried not to flinch as he noticed the continued lack of his title.

_I was still on probation, _the Obi-Wan outside the circle thought.

"I… I can't help it, Master." Obi-Wan looked down, then, realizing that he was being rude, made himself look at the other council members.

Pacing around the outside of the picture of the past, Obi-Wan studied the expressions of the council members. Some were blank; others looked tense. Only Master Zee seemed sympathetic. Obi-Wan stood between the tall, blue Tellorian and Master Adee Larn, his eyes now fixed on himself.

"Tell us what happened on Telos," Mace invited.

Obi-Wan's hands tightened into fists at his sides. "Master Qui-Gon decided to track Xanatos. I elected to join him. We know it was against the will of the council, but-"

"Not concerned with your leaving we are," Yoda said. "Speak with Qui-Gon on this we will. Speak of Xanatos' words to you."

_Of course that's what they wanted, all they wanted,_ the solid Obi-Wan thought. _I had been so weak lately, so unworthy of trust. They wanted to know if I was going to turn to the Dark Side next. _He sighed, composing himself. _Or at least that's what I thought at the time. But Master Qui-Gon said all they wanted was to help. I'm still not sure if I believe that, even now. But Master Qui-Gon believed it; I could feel the truth of it through our bond._

"He… taunted me. He entered my mind and was able to see and exploit my fears." Obi-Wan's hands worked at the hem of his tunic for a moment, then he forced them to his sides. "He spoke of Bruck, who I… who fell. But he spent more time telling me about what he would do to me, what he would do _with_ me when he had me alone. He could see everything that had ever happened to me, or so it seemed. Master Qui-Gon tried to keep me safe. He put a mental shield around me. But Xanatos separated us."

_How could I have sounded so calm? I felt like bolting from the room! _Obi-Wan shook his head. _Maybe that's why they were so lenient; they could see I was trying. After being put on probation, I would have tried anything to keep from being banished from the Temple._

"Speak of Xanatos' actions upon your separation we do not ask. Answer this: Was what he said true?"

Obi-Wan licked his lips. "I…"

"Please tell us the truth," Mace said, and for the first time (the Obi-Wan on the outside of the hologram noticed this) his expression changed from calm and cold to warm.

_And now was the longest silence in history, _Obi-Wan thought. _I couldn't get my tongue to work. It was stuck behind my teeth and-_

"Were you sexually abused by a Jedi master and a padawan?" Master Adee Larn asked, sitting forward slightly, his long hands dangling between his knees.

"Yes."

_Okay, so it wasn't _that _long. But it felt like forever._ Obi-Wan had given up long ago asking how the council knew everything that it did. Of course they knew what Xanatos had said; why shouldn't they?

"And do you know the identity of these attackers?" Mace resumed.

"I know one of them for sure, and the…" Obi-Wan swallowed; his real-life form could see his throat working. "…the identity of the other is an educated guess."

"Speak of the one you know for certain," Yoda said.

"Padawan Telka touch… touched me when I was seven." He looked down at the floor again. "The day Master Ahleh died. I was looking for comfort, for help, and he…" Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Do you wish to hear this, Masters?"

"Wish it we do not, but hear it we must," Yoda answered. "Have courage, Obi-Wan. This will not take long."

The boy straightened his shoulders and raised his head once more. "Padawan Telka took me to his room and urged me to lie on his bed. He… held me for a while, then started kissing me. On the forehead and cheeks first, then onmymouth." Once again, he fidgeted, actually turning a little, trying to see Qui-Gon.

Yoda glanced over Obi-Wan's shoulder and nodded. Suddenly, Qui-Gon stood behind his padawan, his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Speak of one thing we will before return to this we do," Yoda announced, then nodded to Mace.

"You acted well on Telos, Padawan Obi-Wan," Mace said. "If you will accept a curtailing of your freedom, increased hours of meditation and study, then the council sees no reason why you cannot resume your work as Master Qui-Gon's padawan."

A grin, shocked and relieved, crossed Obi-Wan's face. On the outside of the hologram, the slightly-older Obi-Wan smiled, too, thinking, _I couldn't have asked for better words at that moment._

The padawan in the hologram leaned back against his master a little, blinking rapidly. Then he straightened and composed himself. Bowing to the Council, he said, "Thank you for this second chance, Masters."

_I was going to say more, but Master Qui-Gon touched my arm and I knew it was enough. _Obi-Wan was still grinning, even though the holo-boy before him had sobered. He could afford to smile now, of course. No one was watching him.

"Resume we must, Padawan Obi-Wan."

The boy nodded. "He touched me through my clothes. He touched my…" He blushed. "Buttocks."

_That is the stupidest, stiffest word in the entire Basic language! _Obi-Wan thought, going red at the memory. _I wanted to say butt. It crossed my mind to say ass. I might as well have said posterior end!_

"And he touched my penis and balls."

"Through your clothes."

"And with my pants and underwear off."

"Did he let you go after this?" Mace asked.

"Yes. He said I couldn't tell anyone or I would be expelled from the Temple. He said I was… impure. A bad vessel for the Force."

"With all due respect, Padawan Obi-Wan," Master Adee Larn asked, "how can you know exactly what he said?"

"I repeated the words every day before I went to sleep for almost a year," Obi-Wan answered, and his unseen double mouthed the words along with him. "To remind myself that I couldn't tell anyone." He blinked again, but this time a single tear trickled down his cheek. Unsure if he was allowed to wipe it away, the holo-boy kept his hands at his sides. "It got harder when I started to like and trust Master Qui-Gon."

"But you kept the secret," Mace said, "even after Padawan Telka was expelled from the Temple for killing another padawan. Why?"

"I was ashamed," Obi-Wan whispered. "And I was still afraid I would be expelled, too." He bit his lip again. "Please, Masters, I have one more thing to confess about that day."

Qui-Gon's hands tightened on his shoulders, strengthening him.

_I needed the strength. It was something Master Qui-Gon didn't even know. He knew I thought about suicide, but he didn't know exactly why._

"I tried to kill myself that day. Not just because my master was dead but because I was so afraid of failing her. I thought I was better dead than expelled."

"Glad we are that found you Qui-Gon did," Yoda answered. He paused, drew in a breath. "Who do you think touched you the second time?"

"It was actually the first time. I was five. I had run away from you, Master Yoda. I was embarrassed that I couldn't feel the Force, that I couldn't meditate or even lift a block."

"Remember that day I do. Searched for many hours I did. Found you in the Garden of Peace I did, long after sunset."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I remember. At first, I was running away from you, but I ended up running away from the Jedi Master who had touched me." Wiping his sweaty hands on his tunic, Obi-Wan continued. "Please understand that I was a child and every Jedi seemed tall. Still, the man who found me hiding in a meditation room looked taller than most. He had graying hair and a thick, short beard that covered his chin and the sides of his face. When I saw him, I tried to hide, but he called to me."

_He called, 'Little one, little one, come to me. I won't hurt you. Don't be afraid, little friend; you'll be safe with me.' _Obi-Wan shuddered.

"He asked me what was wrong, and I told him I was running from you and why. 'Oh little one,' he said, 'you can meditate. You just need to approach it differently than most. Will you let me show you? My padawan is resting now and I have some time.' "

"I agreed. He took me to his room and held me on his lap. I could feel his… penis… under me, but I didn't know what it was. Not until he undid his robes and asked me to touch it. So we would be bound; so we would be able to reach out to the Force together. I touched him and he touched me. He didn't kiss me, though. Then someone knocked on his door. He told me not to say anything and he covered me with a sheet up to my chin. I didn't move until he'd finished talking to his padawan. I think he said I was sick or something."

"It wasn't his padawan, or not his current one," Qui-Gon said, startling Obi-Wan. "It was me. I didn't know what Obi-Wan looked like, but I came to tell my former master that Master Yoda was looking for a youngling who had run away. He told me it wasn't the boy in the bed because the boy had been with him for several hours. More fool me for believing him."

"You couldn't have known," Master Zee said, his voice deep, rumbling gently. "Count Dooku was a trusted Jedi at that time."

"Then a guess it is not," Yoda said. "Know you that it was Count Dooku."

"I.. I didn't know until now," Obi-Wan answered, bowing his head. Qui-Gon's hand tightened on his shoulder.

"Padawan Obi-Wan, look at me," Yoda said. When the boy had obeyed, the Jedi Master climbed out of his seat and walked towards him. "Understand something you must. Expelled you will not be. You fault none of these attacks was. Understand this I wish you to. Guiltless are you. Be free from their shadows you can. Very proud of you we all are. Gave in to Xanatos you did not. Let these earlier attacks stop you you did not. Very proud I am."

"I am so very proud of you, Padawan mine," murmured a voice close the solid Obi-Wan's ear.

The apprentice spun around, his eyes filled with guilt and shock. "Master…"

Qui-Gon held up a hand. "We can talk in a moment. Let's watch the end. That's my favorite part." He put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders.

"You watched it, too?"

"Shh. Watch."

Mace looked at Qui-Gon. "Is it true that Xanatos killed himself?"

The holographic Obi-Wan gasped. So did his solid counterpart.

"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon answered. "He's dead."

"Know this you did not?" Yoda asked Obi-Wan.

"I… I watched him die. I forgot." Obi-Wan's hands were working at his tunic again. "How could I forget something like that?"

"Quite simple that is," Yoda answered. "In shock you were. Hard it is to watch someone die, no matter who they are. A block in your mind against such memories natural is."

The hologram vanished. Obi-Wan stood very still, still staring at the place the blue-ghost Yoda had been. "I forgot again," he whispered at last as Qui-Gon, who had moved to turn the hologram off, put his arm around the boy's shoulders again. "How could I forget twice?"

"Healing takes time," Qui-Gon answered. He steered Obi-Wan to a chair and made him sit down. The master knelt before him, holding his hands. Obi-Wan's expression showed clearly that the padawan hadn't heard him. "Healing takes time," Qui-Gon said again. And when his padawan blinked, Qui-Gon said it one more time.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "It's not just Xanatos; I still dream about the others, too. Having Xanatos call them all up out of my head made them so real…"

"That's the power of the Dark Side, Obi-Wan. Our fears are called to the fore by its power. But once they have been called forward, the job of the Light Side isn't to shove them back down, but to confront them." He put his hand on Obi-Wan's cheek. "Pushing them down would be easier, but there they would fester, to be called back later, at even greater cost to you. To battle them now will take time; it must, for your memories can pretend at tirelessness."

"Pretend?" Obi-Wan asked. He reached up and touched Qui-Gon's hand on his cheek, enjoying the warmth. "Memories aren't like enemies, Master; they don't get tired. They don't have physical bodies."

"They don't need physical bodies to get tired. Think of two rivers. One is straight and narrow, its current fast. The other has oxbow turns and its banks are wide and undercut. The current of this second river is slow. But it started out as a fast river; in its younger days, it must have, or it would have never carved a place in the rock. But as time went on, the second river found it easier to cut into the banks around it rather than push itself and cut into the rock below. So it meandered to one side or the other, seeking ease over a straight path." He smiled as Obi-Wan's eyes turned inward, imagining. "That's how memories can become. Little by little, they will lose the desire to fight. Slowly, they will retreat when you ask them to retreat. In time, they will give up and stop haunting you. They may still live, and occasionally you will think on them with sorrow or pain, but these emotions will be distant, like a pebble picked up in the current of the slow stream. The pebble is small or it would have never been moved, and it will soon come to rest again because the stream won't be able to sustain its hold." Obi-Wan's hand was still in his and he squeezed it. "Padawan mine, healing takes time, but heal you will. I have no doubt of that."

His padawan blinked, then smiled. "I know."

Qui-Gon stood and Obi-Wan followed. They stood gazing at each other for a moment, then Obi-Wan, blushing, asked, "Will you…"

"Always." Qui-Gon hugged Obi-Wan against him. His hand came up, smoothing the teen's hair, then caressing his braid. Under his gentle hands, Obi-Wan relaxed, letting out a contented sigh.

_Qui-Gon, I…_

…_love you, Padawan mine. _Qui-Gon was glad the bond wasn't active at the moment. He had heard something of Obi-Wan's thought, but couldn't be sure what he heard. _And surely he didn't hear what I was thinking. Surely not. Because he would have pulled away if he had. And I can't frighten him now. I can't afford to. He needs me. I won't do anything that will drive him away._

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, opening the link wider. He couldn't decide if he liked the fact that his master hadn't heard him or not. He knew he wanted to hear his Master's thoughts. _Master?_

_Yes, Obi-Wan?_

_Can we go home now?_

Qui-Gon chuckled. _Enough mental stress is enough, hmm? _He was grinning, and Obi-Wan, looking up at him, enjoyed the rare, completely relaxed and honest expression.

_Yes, Master, Enough is enough. _And then, to himself, once they were walking and he had retreated a little into his own mind, _Maybe when I'm a Knight, I'll ask him if he loves me, too. But I can wait. _He laughed. _Meditation teaches nothing if not patience._

o--------------------o

tbc...

**Jaken's Angel:** Thank you for all the positive reviews! As to why I thought something had happened to Obi-Wan when he was younger: Obi-Wan is so reserved… I'm just wondering how a master like Qui-Gon, who's such a risk-taker, ended up with a padawan like Obi-Wan.

**Drizzling:** Well, this talks a little bit about Xanatos, but as to Anakin and ber'Nac… they aren't ready to tell me yet. As soon as I know, I'll post it.

**BreathingFlames:** I'm sort of curious about exactly what Xanatos did, too, but Obi-Wan isn't telling. Not yet, anyway. Thank you so much for the review. I've got this big dopey grin on my face because of you.

**Moonjava:** I'm lucky to be getting so many positive reviews. It really helps. Uh, selfish plug: Do you like Lord of the Rings? I'm writing a story called "Legolas' Gift" and it's not getting much encouragement. I trust your opinion. Let me know what you think of it so far. If it's too far out there, please let me know. Thank you! Oh, and you get a thousand Brownie points if you can tell which character reminds me of Richie.


	5. ObiWan Defenders 1

**A/N:** Okay, the title's corny, I admit it, but titles are one thing among many that I'm still working on. I'll consider any and all suggestions.

By the way, who's the new pairing I'm thinking about? (It's at the end.) Let me know who you think it is.

Obi-Wan's Defenders (1)

Qui-Gon ran his hand through his hair once the doors to the quarters he shared with Obi-Wan and Anakin had closed behind him. He couldn't remember feeling this tired in many, many years. _I was exhausted for weeks on end after Xanatos joined the Dark Side, and after Ahleh died I scarcely slept. But that was a long time ago._ Straightening, squaring his shoulders, determined to at least make it to his room, Qui-Gon shuffled across the front room. But at the beginning of the short hallway, he decided not to go to his room. He went instead to the first door on his left. Knowing that Obi-Wan was almost surely asleep, Qui-Gon slipped inside, careful not to make a sound.

But he didn't get further than that as bright eyes pierced the darkness. "Master?"

_Now why would he call me that now that we're alone? _Qui-Gon reached out with his mind and felt the presence of the two bodies in the bed. _Why is Anakin in here? _he sent through the link.

_He asked if he could be my pretend padawan._ Qui-Gon heard the smile in Obi-Wan's reply, and the warm pride. _He wanted to sleep in here. Is it all right?_

_You don't have to ask my permission, Obi. But I guess this means I'll be sleeping in the other room._ He crossed to the bed, felt for Obi-Wan's hand, and squeezed it. Bending forward, letting Obi-Wan guide him a little, he found his lover's lips. Gently, he kissed him. _I love you, Obi mine. I will always love you. _He brushed at Obi-Wan's braid as it tickled his chin. _Are you worried about tomorrow?_

Obi-Wan kissed him back, reaching up to cup his cheek in one hand. _The Force will decide what's to be done. It always does. I can't say I'm not sad. I've wanted to be a Jedi my whole life. But I won't defy the Council._

_You are so very strong, my Obi-Wan. I'm proud of you._

_What can I say? I had a talented Master who let me crib shamelessly from his experience. _Again, Obi-Wan kissed him. _We should sleep._

_Yes, I know. I'll see you in the morning. _Qui-Gon's eyes burned with tears, but the man refused to let them fall, even as he tried to keep the sorrow from his mind.

_Qui-Gon?_

_Yes? _The older man was standing near the door.

Obi-Wan touched his mind gently, feeling the pain and the tight control Qui-Gon exerted over it. He did his best to wrap his essence around Qui-Gon, wanting to comfort him. Neither of them wanted to really talk about what was going to happen in the morning, and so Obi-Wan asked only, _What did Master Saltha say?_

Qui-Gon allowed Obi-Wan to hold him for a moment in his mind, then he pulled back slightly, still staying close to his love. _That she will speak on our behalf. _

Obi-Wan was alarmed rather than comforted and he drew Qui-Gon close again. _Will she be disciplined?_

_Doubtful. Each Jedi is allowed to express her or opinion, after all. Be calm, Obi-Wan mine. They won't hurt her._

He felt Obi-Wan relax a little. _What will happen to Anakin?_

_Now isn't the time to worry about that. Because his fate partially depends on ours. Be patient, Padawan mine. _His smile shone in both of their minds. _That is your strength; use it._

_I love you, Qui-Gon._

_I love you, too. Sleep now._

_Yes, Master._

Qui-Gon groaned in his mind. _When you call me Master it makes me feel old._

_Well, soon I might not have to call you master anymore._

_You'll still do it, if for no other reason than so you can annoy me._

_Annoying you is one of my many Force-given talents._

Qui-Gon snorted. _Good night, Obi._

_Good night, love._

oOo

Anakin was arrayed in the dress robe Obi-Wan had given him. He put this fancy bit of cloth over his regular clothes. _You won't have to say much, _Obi-Wan had told him. _But a lot what we say is in what we wear and how we act._

_I know, _he had told his pretend master, feeling a little annoyed that Obi-Wan was speaking to him as if he hadn't yet lived anywhere or been through anything. _It's the same way among slaves._

_I'm not telling you these things because I think you don't know,_ Obi-Wan had answered. _I'm only saying them as a reminder. It's sometimes hard to remember everything at once._

And because Obi-Wan was so understanding without apologizing for his statement, without, in fact, giving any ground, Anakin respected him. Obi-Wan would be a good master, if only he could really be a master.

The three of them ate a very light breakfast, none of them really wanting to eat. Qui-Gon had already contacted the council; their appointment was on three bells after sunrise. Anakin studied Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon while he pretended to eat. Obi-Wan was dressed much as he had been the first day Anakin met him, except his robes were pressed. Qui-Gon, too, was dressed the same, and yet he looked different, too, because his hair was neat and his eyes were somber. He was holding Obi-Wan's hand under the table.

Anakin envied them the closeness, but after breakfast he got a little of it himself. As Obi-Wan rinsed the dishes, Qui-Gon knelt before Anakin and touched his shoulder. The man's eyes were still somber, but he looked strong, unmovable, to Anakin. Like a boulder you could be sure would protect you during a sandstorm.

"You've already helped so much, Anakin. I'm grateful for what you said to Master Saltha last night. And you did it just right, asking permission first. I'm not asking you to say anything today, but if you feel the urge, ask just as you did last night. The Council will always listen if you speak politely."

Anakin nodded. "I'll be polite. I promise."

Qui-Gon rose and squeezed his shoulder, then glanced up. "Obi-Wan, we have to go."

Anakin turned as the padawan left the kitchen, his eyes intense. Somehow, he managed to look both intimidating and intimidated. But when he saw Anakin, he smiled and some of the tension went out of him. "Listen to Master Qui-Gon," he said. "He's wiser than he looks."

Qui-Gon snorted. "Very amusing, Padawan mine." He turned on his heel and the other two fell into step behind him.

As they walked, Anakin felt someone's eyes on him and glanced at Obi-Wan. The padawan smiled at him, but his gaze wasn't actually on Anakin, and his smile fell away quickly. The boy turned his head and saw, down the wide corridor to their right, Saltha and ber'Nac approaching.

Qui-Gon, too, had noticed them; he stopped and waited. Master Saltha fell into step beside him and ber'Nac walked beside Obi-Wan. Anakin shot the young man an angry look, but Obi-Wan ignored the man beside him. Turning to Anakin again, he sent, _Be at peace. Let the Force guide your steps and your eyes. Don't look at him. All you can accomplish is to make yourself angry and less receptive to the nudges that come from the Force. _

"You'll feel better once you aren't serving Qui-Gon," ber'Nac whispered. "I promise you will. I know you don't think you can survive without his dick inside you at night, but I promise you'll-"

Obi-Wan did something then that would always stay with Anakin. He didn't look at the other padawan, but he held up a hand and smiled. That smile was cold as ice and just as sharp and deadly. It reminded Anakin of Sebulba's smile, except Obi-Wan carried the effect off to good advantage. And then he spoke, and Anakin was even more convinced he never wanted to make his pretend master angry. "Stop."

That was all he said, but ber'Nac's mouth snapped shut as if he'd been slapped.

From ahead of them, Qui-Gon said, "You should be loathe to do that again, Obi-Wan, especially in the presence of the Council. But in this instance, it was justified."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan's voice was back to normal and that ice-like grin had fled his features as if it had never been.

_I want to be like that, _Anakin decided. _I want to be terrifying and able to make people do what I want, then hide it all. _He asked silently, _What did you do?_

_I used the Force on him. It shouldn't work on a Jedi, but it can, if he isn't guarding his mind or is starting to lose the ability to reason past a certain point_

They were approaching the doors to the Council Chamber. Anakin swallowed, all thoughts of future power gone. He glanced one more time at Obi-Wan; the padawan reached out and briefly gripped Anakin's shoulder. His smile was warm and reassuring. _Courage, Anakin, _he sent. _This will soon be over._

Aware of his new role, and wanting to make Obi-Wan's smile linger a little longer, Anakin answered, _Yes, Master._

The hand on his shoulder tightened ever so slightly. _Padawan mine, _Obi-Wan answered fondly.

Qui-Gon rang the chimes. They waited.

"Come," called Mace Windu's voice from within and the doors opened.

Obi-Wan took his hand back, but Anakin felt as if it was still there, comforting him. The boy was careful to keep right in step with Obi-Wan. _They'll be more likely to listen if we act right, _he said to himself.

Anakin glanced around the room quickly when they first stepped in, noting the dozen Council members arranged before them in a semi-circle.

"Step forward Qui-Gon and Saltha will," Yoda said. 'The rest of you retreat to that chamber there. Shut the door and await further instructions."

"With all due respect, Master Yoda," Saltha began at once, "Padawan Obi-Wan and Padawan ber'Nac should not be alone in the same room together."

"Padawans they are. Responsible they can be."

"I have full confidence in Padawan Obi-Wan, Master."

Anakin hid a wicked grin.

"Still, trust them both we must," Yoda answered. "Go now that we might talk."

Obi-Wan turned towards the door, following ber'Nac from the room. Anakin came after, resisting an urge to glance over his shoulder. Why did they have to go now? Couldn't they be a part of this? Shouldn't they?

As the door closed behind them, Anakin was sorely tempted to spy on the conversation going on in the next room, but he caught Obi-Wan's eye and knew that he wouldn't be allowed. Even if Obi-Wan wasn't his official master, Anakin knew the padawan would stop him. _I should learn how to put up shields, if I can do something like that, so I'll be able to do what I want. _Sighing, Anakin sat down beside Obi-Wan.

"I don't want to meditate," he announced, seeing that Obi-Wan was centering himself.

"We're not going to meditate," the padawan answered. "Look across the room. What do you see?"

"Three fist-sized balls. One green, one red and one blue. They're stacked on top of one another, green on top and blue on the bottom." Anakin felt like he was stating the obvious, but he had already learned that Obi-Wan asked very few trick questions. If he said "What do you see?" that's exactly what he wanted to know.

"Pick up the green one with your mind."

_That's easy._ Anakin lifted the ball into the air.

"Now make it fly around a bit. Don't hit anything." Obi-Wan nodded as Anakin moved the ball about. "Make it spin in place." This next instruction had caused Obi-Wan endless annoyance when he was a padawan because the ball always went off course.

Anakin twirled a finger and the ball spun. Once, twice, three… It fell out of the air and bounced across the room. Obi-Wan retrieved it with the Force.

Anakin was frowning. "Why is that harder?"

"Because you have to focus the Force on a single point, keep that point steady, then work with the Force within that small area. Will you try again?"

"Aren't you supposed to tell me to do it again?" Anakin asked.

"That's why I'm your pretend master. I'll guide you, but you have to choose whether or not to do something. In a lot of ways, it's harder to have a pretend master than a real one." He added, smiling at Anakin, "But I think you have enough self-discipline to work at things until you get them right. That will be a great asset when you become a real padawan. If you don't lose it, you'll be a Jedi by the time you're sixteen or seventeen instead of the normal age of twenty-two."

Anakin grinned, focused on the ball, and began to spin it. He lost it again and again, but each time he picked it up, calmed himself (using a half-meditation technique Obi-Wan had showed him before teaching him how to fully meditate) and began once more. When he had made the ball spin in place one hundred times without losing it, Obi-Wan retrieved the ball, returning it to the pile. Anakin blinked at him, surprised. "You think I have it?"

"For today. You're going to try something harder now."

Anakin squared his shoulders. Obi-Wan had a lot of faith in him, just like his mother did. "What do I do?"

"Take the red ball from the middle of the stack without first moving the green one. And make sure the green one doesn't roll away when the red one is gone."

Frowning, Anakin worked that out in his head, thinking, _I'll have to put a little Force around the red ball and a little around the green ball._

_Don't think of it as "putting the Force" anywhere, _Obi-Wan advised. _Think of it as asking the Force to help you._

_But the Force isn't alive. It can't think!_

_If the Force can't think, why are we here? What are we doing except playing with a bunch of toys we could just as easily pick up with our hands? _his pretend master challenged.

_It's another form of power, _Anakin answered.

_Power like a man's arms or his mind. A living power that dwells within all things. The Force allows us to talk this way, Padawan mine. _

Anakin smiled at the endearment; he knew it had come from Qui-Gon, and liked that Obi-Wan was sharing the words with him.

_The Force lives inside of you and connects you to all living things and to the universe, _Obi-Wan continued._ The Force is what urges you to do this or that, or not to do a thing. If the Force wasn't alive, could it do that? A sandstorm can push you one way or another, but would you trust it to push you to the place you were meant to be?_

_No. Sandstorms don't think. You could hit a rock. Or worse._

_Exactly. So, if you're going to trust in something, it had better be both living and infinitely wise. Can you imagine "pushing" something like that in any direction?_

_That would be really rude, _Anakin agreed. _So I have to be… _He fumbled for the word…._partners with the Force?_

_Yes! _Obi-Wan's grin lit up both their minds. _Excellent, Padawan mine! Excellent! That's just-_

Shock filled Obi-Wan's mind and Anakin, gasping, turned his eyes to the man beside him. ber'Nac was trying to kiss Obi-Wan. He had pushed the padawan down and was straddling him, pinning Obi-Wan's arms with his knees.

Anakin leapt up, launching himself at ber'Nac. He hit an invisible wall before he could even get close. From his place on the floor, Anakin stared at the two padawans. Which one had thrown up that wall? If it was Obi-Wan, he should stay put. But if it was ber'Nac...

ber'Nac closed one hand around Obi-Wan's throat and Anakin felt a wave of energy roll over him, leaving him weak. Groaning, the boy realized that he was still connected to Obi-Wan, that he could feel, at a remove, what the padawan felt. That same energy wave did more to Obi-Wan than make him weak. The padawan twisted and writhed, his mouth opening in a silent scream. His eyes were squeezed shut and he began to thrash.

In his mind, Anakin heard Obi-Wan call to him.

_Anakin! Anaaaahhhh! _Agony ripped through Obi-Wan's mind and Anakin was treated to a small dose of it. Even that small taste made the boy feel sick. His heart had risen in his throat and his stomach wouldn't settle.

Obi-Wan tried again. _Run, Anakin! Don't let him hurt you- _Obi-Wan slammed a shield down between their minds, keeping Anakin out.

oOo

"Why did you ask for this audience?" Mace asked when the door to the other room had closed.

"I have learned that Padawan ber'Nac raped my padawan," Qui-Gon answered. He couldn't believe how much control he had to exert over his emotions to keep his voice steady and his mind clear. Speaking the words somehow made them real, concrete.

Yoda showed no anger or surprise. "How discover this did you?"

"Two nights ago, during the meeting Queen Amidala called, I saw two Jedi fighting. I couldn't see their faces. Then I heard Obi-Wan's voice in my mind, calling for help. ber'Nac had entered our quarters while I was gone and engaged Obi-Wan in battle. Obi-Wan, through his connection with Anakin, sent the boy to find Master Mace and ask for help. But Anakin found me first, and the two of us returned to our quarters. There I told Anakin to stay in the front room, out of the way, and I entered Obi-Wan's room, where he and ber'Nac were dueling. I ordered them to stop and Obi-Wan withdrew his lightsaber at once. I had to confine ber'Nac's arms against his sides to prevent him from pressing his advantage. I demanded to know why they were fighting and ber'Nac answered that Obi-Wan had been serving him sexually in return for ber'Nac's silence."

_Now, _the Jedi Master thought, _they will ask what secret ber'Nac was keeping._

"If he was being served, why did ber'Nac attack Obi-Wan?" Master Ali Mundi asked.

"Because Obi-Wan had decided to stop serving him and to seek my council in the matter," Qui-Gon answered.

"Then Obi-Wan had already spoken to you?" Mace asked.

"No, Master. He had been about to confess his deeds to me when Master Yoda summoned me to the meeting with Queen Amidala." Qui-Gon paused a moment, collecting his thoughts (and again channeling energy away from his anger), then said, "Obi-Wan had also been serving ber'Nac because ber'Nac tried to kill me. Obi-Wan sought to protect me."

"Unwise his choices were," Yoda said.

"He knows that now, Master."

"Speak of the attempt on your life we will later," Yoda said. "For now, tell us what Obi-Wan feared, what he wished to keep even from you."

"Those are two different things, Master. Obi-Wan was only trying to conceal the rape from me, and also the assassination attempt. What ber'Nac knows… is something Obi-Wan and I have both kept from the Council and from all Jedi. Until last night, the two of us had kept the secret just between us for four years. Last night, Anakin discovered the truth and I sought out Master Saltha's council, as well as intervention with her padawan."

"The secret weighs on you," Master Zee noted, his voice surprisingly gentle. "What is it?"

But Yoda held up his hand. "Ask that in a moment we will. First, speak with all four of you we must. And talk with Obi-Wan alone I need to. His prior history taken into account and weighed against this grave news must be."

A bolt of pain tore through every council member's mind at that moment. Zee and his brother, Adee Larn, clapped their hands to their ears. Mace winced. Saltha felt a rush of satisfaction from her padawan, and Qui-Gon almost lost his balance as the force of Obi-Wan's pain assailed him.

As suddenly as the pain had appeared, it vanished without a trace.

A moment later, the door through which the two padawans and the boy had disappeared opened and Anakin charged out. The boy's eyes were huge, and he tripped and almost fell as he ran to Qui-Gon's side, seizing his hand. "ber'Nac's trying to kill Obi-Wan!"

Yoda rose into the air, using his control of the Force to fly. He crossed the room to the door, and what would have taken him perhaps two minutes with his cane took less than ten seconds. Qui-Gon followed directly behind him, his lightsaber, not yet lit, already in his hand. But Master Mace caught Qui-Gon by the shoulder and pulled him back.

"Come in only if you can control your anger," the master ordered and he followed Yoda into the next room.

Qui-Gon stood for a moment, forcing his anger down once more. He sensed Anakin standing close beside him, and glanced down at the boy. Anakin looked very frightened.

"Obi-Wan screamed," the boy whispered.

Qui-Gon squared his shoulders. "Stay close to me." He strode into the next room, resheathing his lightsaber as he went.

oOo

Obi-Wan had only fought one other person who was as strong in the Force as ber'Nac: Xanatos. And the padawan, only fourteen at the time, hadn't stood a chance against Qui-Gon's former apprentice. Now, six years later, strong and sure in the Force, Obi-Wan stood just as much of a chance of defeating ber'Nac. ber'Nac, a year Obi-Wan's senior, was horribly powerful, drawing on the Dark Force for his strength. He knew exactly how to channel it, exactly how to find Obi-Wan's weaknesses and exploit them.

The only thing that was really different between the battle with Xanatos and that with the padawan before him, Obi-Wan knew, was that he, Obi-Wan, wasn't allowing fear to weaken him even further.

Unfortunately, an absence of all-consuming fear couldn't give Obi-Wan extra strength.

A stab of pain that reminded Obi-Wan of his first lightsaber-induced burn tore through the younger padawan's head, both physically and in his mind. A thousand images of suffering and death assailed him, trying to blind him. The agony in his skull had already sickened him, making him want to throw up. He couldn't. ber'Nac held his entire body in sway.

_He can't control my thoughts, but his mastery of the Force is holding my body completely still. If he decides that he doesn't want me to breathe or-_

_That's a good idea, _ber'Nac answered in Obi-Wan's mind, _but not just yet. If you'll only kiss me willingly, I'll let you go. Submit to me, whore. Give yourself to me. Do that and I'll let you live._

Obi-Wan felt the need rise within himself to surrender to ber'Nac. He fought against that desire, knowing he would never be able to face Qui-Gon as an equal again if he gave in.

_I'll just kill Qui-Gon and then it won't matter, _ber'Nac whispered. His hands roamed over Obi-Wan's immobilized body, caressing, drawing, toying. Obi-Wan hardened at once under the ministrations, and only part of his erection was caused by ber'Nac's control over his body. He was aroused, much as he didn't want to believe or acknowledge it.

_I won't let you kill Qui-Gon._

_You can't even stop your own erection, my whore. I'm not afraid of you. _He kissed Obi-Wan again, but wasn't satisfied. They could both feel it.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan's mind lit with hope. The two of them were connected, and the emotions ran both ways.

_Why are you so-? _ber'Nac began.

Obi-Wan attacked ber'Nac's mind with an image of the Light Force, shaped like his lightsaber. He stabbed deep into ber'Nac's mind, crowing with victory when ber'Nac stopped caressing him. _I accomplished that much, at least. _He stabbed again, but this time met a shield of Dark Force. Mentally gritting his teeth (Obi-Wan still couldn't control his body) the younger padawan attacked again and again, keeping ber'Nac on the defensive.

Gradually, the muscles in his neck and arms started to send messages to his brain. Obi-Wan tried to hide this fact from ber'Nac as he continued to fight.

Then another idea formed in his mind, and like the first, Obi-Wan couldn't understand why he hadn't thought of it before. The battle he was waging wasn't a physical one, and so wasn't limited by physical boundaries. Obi-Wan didn't know enough about Master Yoda's or Master Mace's fighting style to place the two of them in his mind, but there was one Jedi whose moves were second nature to him. An image of Qui-Gon, armed with a lightsaber, joined Obi-Wan in his mind and both creations attacked ber'Nac.

The two-pronged attacks Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had developed over the years were feared by any foe that had seen them firsthand. They were relentless and came from every side as the Jedi spun around whatever enemy they were fighting.

ber'Nac had seen the two fight, but apparently he had never studied their technique. He pulled back a little, allowing Obi-Wan to regain complete control over his left arm. Obi-Wan's fist hit the side of ber'Nac's head and the other padawan rolled off him, crying out in frustration and fury as he was forced out of Obi-Wan's mind.

Working to control his breathing, knowing he wasn't out of danger yet, Obi-Wan rolled the other way and tried to get to his feet. His legs weren't ready to support him. He sprawled, face-down, and helpless as before. ber'Nac was on top of him an instant later, shattering the imaginary lightsabers in Obi-Wan's mind and leaving him as powerless as before.

_No! _Obi-Wan screamed mentally before he could stop himself. That scream betrayed not only his frustration, but his lack of control. Obi-Wan was more ashamed of that loss than his arousal.

Ber'Nac's hand slipped into Obi-Wan's trousers, stroking one round cheek. _Oh my little whore. I've missed you. _He kissed Obi-Wan's neck, his hair, his ear. _That was an impressive little trick you pulled, but you won't get away with it again. I'm on to you, Obi-Wan. You'll never get away from me. All you can hope for is mercy. Submit._

_Never!_

ber'Nac chuckled. _Submit._

_Never!_

_Sub-_

The Force exploded around Obi-Wan and ber'Nac was sent flying across the room. Again, not even questioning who had saved him, Obi-Wan tried to roll away. But this time, he was completely paralyzed. He couldn't even bring his legs together from the spread-eagle position ber'Nac had forced them into. Only with an extreme effort was Obi-Wan able to channel his fear and shame. He slowed his breathing, composed himself, and waited.

His perspective changed as hands lifted and turned him. He could only dimly feel those hands, and a new wash of fear assailed him. At least when he hadn't been able to move before, he could feel when he was being touched. Now that feeling was reduced to a distant tickle. _I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life, a prisoner in my own body. _Obi-Wan closed his eyes, not wanting his rescuer to see how afraid he was. Again, he went through the effort of calming himself.

"There now, Obi-Wan. You're all right. Stay calm, just like that. Good. Breathe. If your whole body was paralyzed, you wouldn't be able to breathe. Your heart wouldn't beat. But both those things are happening. Give the rest of your body time."

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and stared up at the blue Tellorian, Master Zee. He tried to show his gratitude in his eyes, but couldn't tell if he'd been successful. _Of course. How could I forget that? How could I forget so much of what I've been taught? I mean, in the name of the Force, how could I not realize that I just closed and opened my eyes?_

Master Zee moved and Obi-Wan felt someone else take him. He blinked, surprised at the ease with which he could blink, and saw that Qui-Gon was now holding him. His lover smiled at him, encouraging him. Then he bent forward and kissed him.

Obi-Wan could scarcely feel Qui-Gon's lips, but he relished the little bit of feeling he _did_ have. _Wait. We're in public and he just kissed me. Does that mean the Council knows about us? _For the third time in as many minutes, Obi-Wan conquered his fear. _Yes, they must know. Then what has been decided?_

But he couldn't ask any of these questions. All he could do was hang in Qui-Gon's arms and be kissed and tended.

Qui-Gon drew back a little and Obi-Wan saw Anakin at his master's shoulder. The young Jedi wished he could smile. One of the few comforts he'd felt while under attack was the fact that ber'Nac had completely ignored Anakin.

"Master?" Anakin whispered, touching Obi-Wan's hand.

"He'll be all right, Anakin," Qui-Gon answered. "Just give him some time. He has to heal." Qui-Gon glanced up, nodded to someone and Obi-Wan was lain on the floor, his head cradled by something soft. A folded cloak or robe was the padawan's guess.

Master Yoda appeared at his shoulder. "Sleeping the padawan is," he said, his voice light. "How embarrassing. How embarrassing."

Again, Obi-Wan wanted to smile. Then he remembered that Master Yoda might not be his master anymore and the desire passed quickly. He gazed up at the diminutive master, hoping Yoda would read his mind and answer his questions.

"Heal you must," Yoda said, "then talk we will. Much we have to discuss." He turned to Qui-Gon. "No other choice do we have now with your padawan injured. Tomorrow, leave for Naboo you must. The Queen must return. Protect her you will."

Anakin asked, even as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stared at Yoda, "Can I go with Master Qui-Gon?"

Yoda frowned. "Test you we must. Then decide we will." He turned his attention back to Obi-Wan. "Heal you will, Padawan, but time it will take."

_Qui-Gon can't go alone! _Obi-Wan wanted to say. _That creature on Tatooine almost killed him the first time!_ Why couldn't any of them hear his thoughts? He realized, nausea rising in his throat, that he couldn't follow his bond with Qui-Gon back to his lover. His breathing shortened again, and this time he was not as successful in dealing with the fear and sense of loss. It was as if his body and mind were too tired to submit to Jedi training. But luckily, that meant that he couldn't muster up much of a panic reaction, either.

"Yes," Yoda murmured, "rest you need. Sleep, Obi-Wan. Earned it you have. Speak to you before he leaves Qui-Gon will."

Obi-Wan blinked, grateful for the small kindness, even in the midst of his worry. His world shrank rapidly. In a moment, Obi-Wan slept.

Yoda turned to Qui-Gon. "Continue this later we must. ber'Nac confined must be, tested the boy must be, tended Obi-Wan must be, and go to Naboo you must. Time there is not for confessions of love."

"Then we are still Jedi?"

"Time there is not for that discussion," Yoda answered.

Qui-Gon nodded. Not forgiven, then; just not judged. Not yet, anyway. There was too much to do, as Yoda himself had pointed out. The Jedi Master squeezed Obi-Wan's limp hand, then rose, beckoning for Anakin to follow him.

As the two of them left the room, Qui-Gon glanced over his shoulder at Padawan ber'Nac's prone form. He hadn't actually seen Yoda use the Force to throw ber'Nac off Obi-Wan, but he had heard Mace's surprised cry and saw the man catch ber'Nac before the worthless son of a bitch could hit the wall and possibly break his neck. Qui-Gon squared his shoulders and strode from the room.

Still in the small room off the council chamber, Mace knelt and lifted Obi-Wan into his arms. "ber'Nac is powerful," the Master whispered, "if his control of the Force can paralyze someone even after the attacker is unconscious."

"Felt his strength I did."

"So did I." Mace lowered his voice even more. "But I felt your strength even more. That isn't like you."

"Concerned for Obi-Wan I was," Yoda answered, straightening and meeting Mace's eyes. 'Questioning me are you? Flew off the handle did I?"

"No. I always question you, but not about the control you exert over your own emotions. I will never doubt your ability to hold yourself together." He put Obi-Wan down and touched Yoda's shoulder. After all, there was no one to see. the rest of the council knew, and Master Saltha had followed the antigrav stretcher that carried her padawan from the room. "I have seen you under all circumstances; I know you are strong enough not to use your anger while fighting."

Yoda closed his eyes and took a measure of comfort from the touch. "If lived he had, Obi-Wan's age Yace would be." The hand on his shoulder tightened and Yoda reached up to grasp it, feeling guilty for hurting Mace. "Forgive me; spoken of him I should not have."

"I want to know what you're thinking, Yoda," Mace answered. Now both his hands were on the diminutive Jedi's shoulders. "And I share your grief. Please don't forget that. You aret he strongest Jedi in an age, but that doesn't mean you have to stand alone against everything. Let me be equal at least in sharing the burdened of those we have lost."

Yoda nodded. "Yes. Only fair to you that is." He looked down at Obi-Wan. "Take him to rest we must." A moment later, as the two made their slow way out of the room, Yoda said, "Decide we must about what we have learned."

"You're sure Qui-Gon loves Obi-Wan enough?"

"He loves him, but I know nothing of 'enough.' There is no 'enough' just as they is no try. Either we allow this or we do not."

"Obi-Wan is a padawan. That makes a difference."

"Of greater concern to me is Obi-Wan's past than his present. Ready mentally he is for such a commitment he is. Ready emotionally he may not be." Yoda sighed. "Very troubling all of this is. If sense this we could not…"

"Our power is disappearing."

"Yes."

"The Chosen One might help us."

"If he were the Chosen One. Learned that he was not we did long ago."

Mace shifted Obi-Wan a little in his arms. "But the mediclorian count…"

Yoda's brow wrinkled and the corners of his mouth turned down. "Examine his blood for myself I must before believe I the results of the test."

Knowing when to leave well enough alone, Mace nodded and turned his mind from Anakin, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. He focused instead on what he could do to prepare the rest of the Jedi for the loss of their power. _There really isn't much I can do except work at the small things. I will do that, day by day, and give the rest to the Force._ He shifted Obi-Wan in his arms again. The padawan was heavy; he was slender like the saber he wielded, but crossed over in every direction with muscle. _I'm sure of one thing: there has hardly been a more troubling time for the Jedi._

**A/N2:** I'm sorry, everybody. I was so anxious to get this chapter up that I forgot to answer your comments. So this is the reposting.

BreathingFlames: Thank you. I'm flattered. And I'm hoping you enjoy this next bit. A lot of the questions aren't completely answered yet, and there are more, but… at least we're step forward.

Ancient Galaxy: Oh, there will be more (_ahem real_) fluff… I know the stuff at the beginning of this chapter wasn't hardly anything, but I hope it was a little of what you're looking for.

dragon shadows: I'll have to ask Obi-Wan if he wants to remember anything else about that. I'll let you know.

Megagirl 14045: Thank you. I'm touched.

Leigh the Wonderlord: "And what's wrong with tree-huggers?" the foster son of Elrond asks. I'm glad you're enjoying this.

Gizzi1213: The three weeks are up. Maybe it wasn't quite that long. Maybe your meditating helpedt eh Force to get this done faster.

Jaken's Angel: No way! Lexington was my favorite Gargoyle! I got really confused when I stopped watching Gargoyles for about three weeks, then tried to pick it up again. The creepy guy with the beard, whatever his name is, the one who has the assistant named Owen (throw me a lifeline… please?) he reminds me of Xanatos. Lexington also erminds me of Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (maybe even the same voice actor), Razor/Jake from Swat Kats and Richie Foley/Gear from Static Shock.

Moonjava: Anyway, Obi-Wan reminds me of Richie.


	6. Anakins Dream The First Time

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who was patient with my various technical mistakes and the time between chapters. I'm going to ask for another bit of help, like I did when I first started this story.

1. How do you spell Coruscant?

2. Does Xanatos have a last name?

3. Does Yoda?

4. How do you spell the name of Anakin's mom? I've seen two ways and I want to know which is the accepted way.

Thank you to anybody who can answer these things for me!

**Fresh Warnings:** non-con "foreplay," allusions to rape

**Things that need no real warning (but just in case):** fluff, explicit slashy phrases

Anakin's Dream: The First Time

As the sun set, its rays bouncing off the pollution in the atmosphere and making the sky quite lovely, Obi-Wan strode swiftly and silently through the Garden of Light. He forced himself to dwell on the paradox that pollution, the destroyer of nature, could make a natural phenomenon, such as a sunset, even more stunning. _It's either that or meditate on the pass my fellow padawan made at me half an hour ago._

Padawan Obi-Wan frowned. He had been wandering about the upper levels of the Temple, both killing time before his meeting with his master and needing a change of pace to focus his mind. He could have meditated, but Qui-Gon had begun to complain about the frequency of his padawan's meditation sessions. _It isn't healthy for a young man your age, _was what he had said. _I want to see you enjoying yourself, Padawan mine, not constantly studying. Every Jedi needs to rest sometimes._

_You are my rest, _Obi-Wan had answered, completely honest.

Qui-Gon had smiled and touched his lover's braid. _My Obi. Just please promise me you won't meditate for more than three hours today._

And, because it was Qui-Gon that had asked, Obi-Wan answered, _I promise._

Which was how he came to find himself wandering about in an isolated place almost at the peak of the Temple. The rooms up here were scarcely used, except for meditation (_which I won't engage in, tempting as it might be_) and they were all empty now. Or nearly so.

As Obi-Wan rounded a corner, he came face-to-face with Padawan ber'Nac. The older padawan ran a hand through his short, wheat-colored hair and smiled. "Hello, Obi-Wan. May the Force be with you."

"And with you," the padawan answered carefully. He always spoke to the other padawans in that way: hesitantly, as if they were objects of great respect. _And they are, but that's not it. I've just spent so long with older Jedi, with Qui-Gon especially, that I can't seem to interact with my own generation. Probably, if I wasn't loved by someone so wonderful, I would be lonely._

"You're not on a mission," ber'Nac went on. "That's rare for you, isn't it?"

"Master Qui-Gon and I have been recalled to the Temple for extra training."

"No problems, I trust." ber'Nac took a step towards Obi-Wan. His hand had dropped from his hair and was now caressing the robe he wore.

"No. We aren't needed right now and so we're working on one-on-one combat."

"I'll bet you need work on that. You've been fighting side-by-side for so long I bet it would be hard for you to fight without your master." He winked. "And of course you'll be attempting the trials soon."

"As soon as my master thinks I'm ready."

ber'Nac laughed. "Ever-obedient Obi-Wan. Don't you ever think of taking care of things yourself? What if your master keeps you as a padawan until you're twenty-five or thirty?"

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say, "Qui-Gon would never do that," but he closed his mouth when ber'Nac took another step closer to him. The younger padawan had to admit that his first instinct was to take a step back; they were too close now for his liking, but he fought against it. After being on countless missions to many different worlds, he understood that many beings had smaller personal spaces than he did. Even among the Jedi, he was occasionally perceived as standoffish. Clearing his throat, he said instead, "I'm sure Master Qui-Gon knows best." He resisted the urge to wince at the words, but he did mean them, no matter how childish they sounded. Even before he was the older man's padawan, Qui-Gon had taken care of him. And three years ago, when they had become lovers, his faith in his master had only deepened.

"I'm sure," ber'Nac answered, taking a step closer to the unarmed padawan. "I'm sure he's always chosen right for you." He laid a gentle hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder and smiled. "You're so very lucky to have him." His other arm slipped around Obi-Wan's waist and an instant later the hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder slipped around to the back of his head.

"What are you-?" Obi-Wan stiffened and tried to pull away.

"I know what's best for you, too," ber'Nac answered. He kissed Obi-Wan gently, drawing him close so the young man could feel the press of his erection. Obi-Wan gasped, but stopped pulling away. "Let me take care of you, Obi-Wan," ber'Nac breathed. "Let me love you as you should be loved." He licked at Obi-Wan's lips, then slipped his tongue further in, touching Obi-Wan's own and caressing it. His left hand moved a little lower and traced the curve of Obi-Wan's backside. "So firm. I love that." he murmured before resuming the kiss.

Strangely it was the words rather than the unwanted touches that allowed Obi-Wan to take charge of his muscles once more. With a duck and twist move that had saved his life numerous times, Obi-Wan freed himself from ber'Nac and took three steps back. He didn't have his lightsaber, his discovered with an inward groan, but then he remembered, _This is a padawan just like me. He isn't really my enemy. We're on the same side. He just needs to understand… _"This is wrong," Obi-Wan announced. "Jedi aren't allowed to love." He refused to let his lips twitch.

"Is that all that's stopping you?" ber'Nac asked, taking a step forward.

Obi-Wan retreated the same amount. "That and the fact I'm not in the least attracted to you, and wouldn't be, even if we were both civilians."

ber'Nac blinked. "Oh." He sighed and bowed his head. "I'm sorry; I took your lack of resistance to mean you liked it." He looked up. "Please don't tell anyone. It's just… I've been in love with you for years and I finally decided I needed to come forward." He met Obi-Wan's troubled gaze. "Please don't tell anyone."

Obi-Wan smiled, but his eyes didn't change. The padawan before him made him nervous, and he couldn't yet figure out why. Until he did, he wasn't going to feel comfortable around ber'Nac. _But then again, I just don't work well with my peers._ Realizing that ber'Nac was probably waiting for some sort of response, Obi-Wan said, "I promise I won't."

Ber'Nac nodded. "Thank you." He shuffled his feet. "And I hope you don't think badly of me. I've just been waiting so long to tell you. Your skill, your determination, your obedience…"

_You were mocking my obedience only a few moments ago. _Obi-Wan's smile was starting to make his face hurt. Was it time to meet Qui-Gon? He didn't know, but he knew he couldn't resume his walk up here. _I'll just walk around the gardens. _"If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

"Of course. Of course." ber'Nac moved forward in two quick steps and kissed Obi-Wan again. Before the padawan could react- he had let his guard down again- ber'Nac had started to move away. "Just so you understand how I feel," he called over his shoulder. "If you decide to pursue my offer, do it quickly."

_Or you'll find someone else to fall in love with? Be my guest; I wish you both all the happiness Qui-Gon and I have been given. _He nodded to ber'Nac and watched the padawan disappear around a corner. Then he sagged against the wall and closed his eyes. Images of Xanatos flashed across his mind, but he ignored them, choosing instead the river of the Force that his first master had planted in his imagination. Whenever he was having trouble centering, focusing his energy, Obi-Wan pictured that river. Soon, his heart slowed. His breathing eased. His thoughts stopped jumping over one another.

_I need to get down to the gardens. _He started to walk. _And I don't think I'll share this with Qui-Gon. After all that's happened to me, one innocent pass is nothing._

Except what ber'Nac had done hadn't been all that innocent and Obi-Wan knew that well. He squared his shoulders. _I still won't tell him. We've been on so many missions lately where I've been a source of concern._ And as he left the upper levels of the Temple, Obi-Wan filled his mind with the recent trips to the infirmaries on different planets and the frequent emergency aid Qui-Gon had administered on more than one ship.

But his mind had turned to Qui-Gon as he entered the gardens and now, as he shook off the memory of ber'Nac, Obi-Wan was only too glad to let it go there again. He slowed his pace as he neared the grove where Qui-Gon should be waiting for him. And if he was early, well, Obi-Wan would use that time to enjoy the chance to sit completely still without even meditation to focus his mind. _It's been too long since I just sat and felt the world around me without having to do so because I was searching for danger._

He chuckled softly, thinking how he'd probably get bored in two seconds. _I can't ever remember sitting still unless it was part of some greater goal, like meditation or spying on someone._ He had reached the path that led to the grove. Trees with white trunks and silver-green leaves bordered the walk, and a small clump of them grew just around the path's final turn, so that if you came upon the grove, you couldn't see into it until you were right at its edge. Of course, they had chosen the place for that reason, but also because Obi-Wan had a special love of the white-barked trees. B'yrch, they were called. He had first kissed Qui-Gon under a B'yrch tree. And even if it had been on another planet, the trees were the same.

Smiling to himself, Obi-Wan approached the grove, reaching out into the Force, both to touch Qui-Gon's mind if the man was waiting for him, but also to make sure there was no one else about. Yes, the grove was secluded; yes it was protected. Yes, hardly anyone came to the Garden of Light as evening fell because the garden's beauty dimmed as the sun faded. None of that mattered. Obi-Wan wouldn't take any chances that he and his lover would be discovered. He couldn't imagine leaving the Jedi Order but, more than that, he didn't want Qui-Gon sent to prison.

_Soon, when I'm a Knight, they won't be able to punish Qui-Gon with jail. But until then, he is responsible for me, unfair as that is. I won't let anything happen to him._

Three steps from the last bend in the path, Obi-Wan froze, his body tensing and his senses tingling. Someone was watching him. Someone he didn't know. He also sensed Qui-Gon waiting for him, but he ignored that. Reaching out further, he tried to touch the other presence, needing to know who was close by.

But the presence whipped away from him and disappeared. Cursing softly, Obi-Wan retreated a little, thinking to draw the other person out again. The disturbance in the Force was gone.

Sighing, Obi-Wan searched for another moment, then rounded the corner and sank onto the bench beside Qui-Gon. "Did you feel it?" he asked at once, not allowing himself to relax just yet.

_Yes, Padawan mine. But whoever it was is gone now. And it was not a dark presence, in any case. I think we are safe._

And of course they wouldn't do much more than hold hands out here… Obi-Wan nodded and let the tension trickle out of his shoulders. _I love you._

Qui-Gon smiled and urged Obi-Wan to sit in front of him on the ground. At once, he began to massage his lover's shoulders, easing the muscles even further. _What good will tensing do when you sense a presence?_

_None, Master. _Obi-Wan sighed once again. _It will only make me stiff and unable to move quickly. I'm sorry._

_My young padawan, you remember so many lessons so well; I am not concerned about this one. You are never tense on a mission, no matter what you sense. It is only your concern for me that makes you so. Channel your concern for me into obedience to the Force and all will be well. _He found a knot at the juncture between Obi-Wan's neck and shoulder and worked at it. _I love you, too, my Obi. Forget everything but that for a few minutes. It will help you relax._

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and obeyed, centering his mind on Qui-Gon's hands, the feel of his lover in his mind. Every ounce of tension evaporated.

"There," Qui-Gon murmured, his voice filled with laughter. "That wasn't so terrible, was it?"

Obi-Wan dropped his head back so he was resting against Qui-Gon's knees. _I love you so much._

_And I you. _Qui-Gon's hands stilled. "You were a little late. Did anything happen?"

Obi-Wan got up off the ground. His position had not been exactly innocent. He took his place at Qui-Gon's side, folding his hands atop Qui-Gon's. "Naught but a short talk with another padawan."

"Oh?" Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "I'm glad to hear you're still talking with some of the others. I know you don't see them often enough."

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I don't need to see them. Bant's the only one I've ever really gotten along with, and she's gone much of the time, too."

"Yes, that's true." Qui-Gon's voice roughened a little as it always did when he thought of Bant and her master. Her deceased master. "She became a Knight very early. It's no wonder she's so busy. Master Yoda seems to want to keep her working until she can sort out everything she needs to know, both with her heart and with her head. None of her missions are very dangerous, but they do take time. Maybe soon she will be ready to return to the Temple."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I hope so." But his mind wasn't really on Bant. Still, he'd been glad of the distraction. Seemingly, Qui-Gon had forgotten about the padawan Obi-Wan had met. "What did you do today?"

He took Obi-Wan's right hand in his and turned it palm-up. "Not much. I had my robes mended, reshelved my books and dropped in to watch Master Saltha and her padawan, ber'Nac, train." With his thumb, Qui-Gon began to trace small circles on Obi-Wan's palm. "And what occupied your time today, Padawan mine?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and leaned against Qui-Gon. "I finally got around to reorganizing the kitchen. I guess you haven't gone in there since after lunch?"

"No. The mending of my robes took four hours. I came straight here after dropping them off in our quarters." He laughed and put his arm around Obi-Wan, drawing him even closer. "I'll investigate your reorganization when we are through here, if you'd like."

"I'd rather have you take a look at a small bruise on my arm that I sustained while we were sparring last week. It hasn't disappeared yet and I'm wondering what I've managed to do to it."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. _Truly?_

_No. _Obi-Wan grinned and his master laughed.

"Padawan mine, I'll look at it when we get back. If it's been there this long, maybe you'll have to go to the infirmary."

"Please, anything but that!" Obi-Wan protested, his eyes dancing.

"Well, we'll see. Leave it for now." Qui-Gon turned his head slightly and laid a chaste kiss on Obi-Wan's temple before turning his head back and gazing at the trees around them. "I'm so glad B'yrch trees were planted here. They are not native to Coruscant, you know. But I find the music of their rustling leaves quite relaxing. Don't you?"

"Yes, Master. The trees were one of the only good things about Frengala." He grasped Qui-Gon's hand in his, stilling the man's tracing fingers. "Not the only thing, you understand, but we were under a lot of stress while we were there."

"If you would have only refrained from being injured, it might have been a more pleasant trip for you."

"True, Master, but I would have never seen the B'yrch trees if I hadn't been cured at that medical center. It was surrounded by them. And when I was first getting my strength back, we walked there."

"You gave me little choice," Qui-Gon answered, his fingers trailing up the side of Obi-Wan's neck, stroking his ear and hair lightly. "You were going stir-crazy cooped up inside for so long."

"Three weeks is too long for a Jedi to be inactive."

"Even when that Jedi was unconscious for the first two?"

Behind Qui-Gon's teasing words, Obi-Wan sensed, as he always did, the remnants of the stress his master had been under during that fortnight. He turned his head and kissed Qui-Gon's ear, reaching up with his left hand at the same time as if to brush his braid out of his face, effectively hiding the kiss from all but the most studious observer. "Let it go. A wise master told me once that healing takes time, and I don't want to see you lengthen that time by dwelling on what is not only in the past, but which couldn't be helped."

Sighing, Qui-Gon hugged Obi-Wan. "You have grown very wise, Padawan mine. I'm lucky to have you." He wrapped the younger man in a mental hug as well, adding, _You are so good to me, my Obi._

_I only give you what you deserve. _Obi-Wan allowed his head to rest on Qui-Gon's shoulder for a moment, then he sat up again, smiling at his lover. "Thank you, Master. I hope you don't mind that most of my wisdom has been stolen from you."

Qui-Gon smiled. "If I minded, it's too late to change things. You'll be a Knight within two years, I'd guess. Then I won't have any control over where you steal your wisdom from." He added, his smile widening, "But I'd be honored if you would see fit to steal from me now and again."

"Of course, Master. How could I do otherwise?"

"Wondrous strange it seems to me that you flatter me so, Padawan mine." They spent another hour or so in this sort of idle, loving conversation. Most of it was quite innocent and could be taken as just a Master talking to his Padawan, but a few words were decidedly sexually-driven. Most of these were uttered by Qui-Gon, who had learned to relax over the years. Each time he spoke one: "I'm worried about your lightsaber technique, Padawan mine; your saber isn't being driven hard enough" or, even better, "I'll teach you how the Force can be used to arouse someone; that will be the only lesson I teach you tonight," Obi-Wan would blush and ask him silently to stop. But he was obviously enjoying the foreplay, and so Qui-Gon kept on, switching from innocent talk to veiled talk to outright-sexual innuendo seemingly without thought. Obi-Wan was hard-pressed to keep up, and he admired Qui-Gon's talented tongue.

_Oh sith! Now _I'm_ doing it! _Obi-Wan's cheeks burned and he ducked his head to hide the fact.

But it was too late. Qui-Gon had seen the blush. _Having nasty thoughts, Obi mine? I'm proud of you. You've relaxed a little._

When the two of them knew they wouldn't be able to sit still much longer, Obi-Wan yawned hugely and stretched. "Master, I think it's time I got some sleep. A Jedi needs his rest, after all."

Qui-Gon stood. "You're right, Padawan mine, and since we aren't on a mission, we should take the opportunity to give our bodies every chance to be strong." Side-by-side, they strode out of the grove.

But as they approached the first bend, Qui-Gon froze and his hand came up, touching Obi-Wan's shoulder. At once, the younger Jedi sent his senses out into the Force, dreading what he might find. It was the same presence that he'd felt before, and this time Obi-Wan pounced, needing to know what it was. But the other slipped away from him quickly, vanishing. This time, he'd left something of himself behind, and more than just his gender.

"He has touched the Dark Force," Qui-Gon murmured, "whoever he is." He frowned. It wasn't unusual for the occasional padawan or Jedi to stray from the light path, but that made it no less upsetting. "We'll have to listen for him."

"Should we tell Master Yoda?"

"Not until we're sure," Qui-Gon said. "If it's a padawan, his master will surely catch his tendencies. And if it's a knight, I and the rest of the order will know soon enough." He squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Come, Padawan mine; it's time to get some sleep."

oOo

Anakin rolled over in his sleep without waking up. In the back of his mind, he'd expected to dream about the test Yoda and the rest of the Council had given him, or at least about how ber'Nac attacked Obi-Wan. But he couldn't wake up, and didn't really want to try. This was the clearest snapshot he'd seen yet, so detailed, connected and long that Anakin was starting to think of it as more of a visual recording than a series of pictures.

And as the story paused, like one disk being taken out so another could be put in its place, Anakin had time for just one thought: _Am I going to watch them having sex? _He was nervous and excited by the prospect, but as soon as the feelings began to invade him, preceding the next "recording," Anakin understand that he wouldn't be seeing anything even remotely loving.

oOo

Qui-Gon hadn't been able to carry out his plans. He'd been called by Master Adi Gallia to discuss a planet Qui-Gon had visited some time ago. The Master wanted information before she embarked on a negotiation mission there. Since Obi-Wan hadn't been Qui-Gon's padawan at the time, he wasn't asked to attend. The padawan would have willingly gone with his master anyway, but had sensed in Adi Gallia's voice the need to keep her mission as secret as possible. And because Qui-Gon had sensed the same, Obi-Wan had stayed in their quarters. He did a few exercises, made sure everything was cleaned up, then went to his master's bed, thinking he was read for a little while. Maybe Qui-Gon wouldn't be gone too long and there would still be time for the two of them to get up to a little something.

But as he made himself comfortable in bed, that sense of someone unwanted watching him filled his mind and he dropped his datapad on the bed without thinking. He stood completely still, his eyes closing as he focused on the presence.

The chimes outside their quarters announced someone wanted to come in.

Without considering what he was doing or why, Obi-Wan took his lightsaber off the wall and slipped it into his belt before he left the bedroom, glad that he hadn't yet changed out of his padawan robes. It was probably only another padawan, or a Jedi Master seeking Qui-Gon… Obi-Wan made sure his mind was clear and focused before he opened the door.

The padawan standing before him was smiling. One hand rubbed up and down his robes.

"Can I help you, Padawan ber'Nac?" Obi-Wan asked, hoping his voice was right. His calm had wavered, but he was able to bring it back by conjuring a picture of the Force-river in his mind. _After all, _he told himself, _why should I be afraid of another padawan, even if he kissed me?_

Ber'Nac pressed forward, and before he realized what he was doing, Obi-Wan had taken a step back into his quarters. The door closed behind ber'Nac and the older padawan's smile broadened. "Kiss me, Obi-Wan. You have no choice."

Obi-Wan stepped back again, but ber'Nac wrapped a rope of Force about him. The invisible rope sang with the Dark Force and Obi-Wan shivered. Still, he kept his mind clear as he could, refusing to let fear enter his voice. "I always have a choice. As do you. Stop pursuing the Dark Force. You can still turn away from it. Your master will help you, or-"

"Why should I turn away from something that gives me so much power?"

"The Jedi do not seek power," Obi-Wan answered, turning his head away as ber'Nac tried to kiss him. The younger padawan was reaching for his lightsaber, knowing instinctively that he was almost surely not strong enough to fight ber'Nac Force against pure Force. "They seek wisdom and justice."

"We seek the power to protect others," ber'Nac answered. Now the rope around Obi-Wan became a net, and the younger man was unable to turn away. ber'Nac kissed him, his touch gentle. "Surely you seek some power, Obi-Wan. The power to protect what you love."

"I love the Force and the F-" ber'Nac's tongue plunged into his mouth, silencing him. But when ber'Nac pulled back, Obi-Wan finished, "the Force needs no strength from me, only cooperation."

"But Qui-Gon needs your protection."

Obi-Wan stiffened; he couldn't help it.

Grinning, ber'Nac released Obi-Wan, letting him stumble back a few paces. "I saw you in the Garden of Light. You were together. You love him more than any padawan should, at least according to you." He laughed. "Ah, Obi-Wan, the ever-obedient padawan! Did Qui-Gon order you to sleep with him?"

With nothing to lose, Obi-Wan answered so that there could be no doubt, "I love Qui-Gon Jinn and went to him willingly from the first." He didn't yet draw his lightsaber. The situation might still be salvageable. And even if it wasn't, what could Obi-Wan gain by attacking ber'Nac? If he drove the older padawan out, ber'Nac would go to the Jedi Council. If he killed ber'Nac… _I would betray Qui-Gon and the Force. I'll never do either, no matter what happens._

"That's even better. I'm glad to know you have real loyalty to him, if not to the Jedi Code." He shook his head. "There you stood, telling me you wouldn't kiss me because it was wrong, and all the while you had your own nudge in the night. Does he take you gentle or hard?"

Obi-Wan colored. "What are you going to do about what you think you know?" His voice sounded all right, and despite the color in his cheeks he looked quite calm, more than ready to continue working through this as two Jedi should; with words instead of sabers. In the back of his mind, he wondered how long it would be before Qui-Gon returned. He decided to pose the question to ber'Nac; maybe it would get rid of him. But before he could open his mouth, ber'Nac drew him close again with the Dark Force and rubbed his erection against Obi-Wan's thigh.

Reaching into the Force, Obi-Wan pushed ber'Nac back half an inch. It took almost all of his concentration to hold the other padawan there. "Qui-Gon will walk in here any minute. Do you want him to catch you?"

"If he does, I'll just walk right in front of the Council and tell them everything I know. Do you want Qui-Gon to go to prison?"

Obi-Wan was afraid of losing Qui-Gon, but something else frightened him more; something not even Qui-Gon knew. "What are you going to do with your speculations?" he asked again, fear at last slipping past his careful control. To lose Qui-Gon, to know he had condemned his lover to twenty years on a prison planet… that would be like laying, naked, in a pitch black room while every poisonous, slimy creature slithered and crawled over him. But that the Council might take… He swallowed and his control slipped a little more so that he wasn't able to hold ber'Nac away from him.

At once, the older padawan cupped Obi-Wan's crotch with one hand. "I'm going to make you an offer. If you want to lose Qui-Gon, all you have to do is refuse." He kissed Obi-Wan again, then whispered in his ear, "Let me fuck you. If you let me do that, just once, I'll forget everything I saw and heard."

"I can't trust you!" Obi-Wan gasped as he hardened under ber'Nac's ministrations. He knew it was only his body reacting; his time with Xanatos had taught him that much. Still, he hated his body's betrayal.

"True, but will you put Qui-Gon's neck in the noose that way?" He pushed Obi-Wan away and turned towards the door. "It's your choice. At sunrise, I'll speak to Yoda. Qui-Gon will be gone by the end of the week. And I don't even want to think what they'll do to you. At least Qui-Gon will have a chance to return to the Jedi Order." He glanced over his shoulder and leered at Obi-Wan. "That's if he survives prison, that is. You know how many people crack in there, or are killed." Shrugging, he started walking again. He was almost at the doors.

Obi-Wan reached out a hand, unintentionally putting a little of the Force into his reach. "Please, wait."

ber'Nac smiled as he turned. "Yes?"

Obi-Wan would have given almost anything to wipe the smirk off ber'Nac's face. Anything except his connection to the Force and Qui-Gon. "I'll do what you want. Please don't hurt Qui-Gon." He glanced around. "But not here. Even if he doesn't walk in on us, he'd feel something was wrong." Obi-Wan added, desperately needing ber'Nac to know that he hadn't completely won (even if he had), "Qui-Gon sensed you when we left the grove. He said you've been touched by the Dark Force. Your Master will feel it soon."

ber'Nac laughed. "I've been having very suggestive dreams about you for months and she hasn't noticed anything. I somehow doubt she'll notice anything." He beckoned with the tips of his fingers. "The Jedi are big believers in not delaying what must be done. So why don't you quit stalling and just follow me?"

The walk to the quarters ber'Nac shared with his master was shorter than Obi-Wan could credit. It was as if he'd stepped right out of his quarters into his enemy's. An instant later, he stood beside ber'Nac's bed and heard the door being locked behind him. He flinched when he realized that somewhere along the way he'd lost his lightsaber. He spun to meet ber'Nac's lustful gaze. "My lightsaber," he began, his voice sounding lost and hurt.

"You left it on the couch in your quarters." ber'Nac smiled and strode forward, resting one hand on the other padawan's shoulder. "Well, maybe I helped you leave it." He kissed Obi-Wan, not bothering to use the Force to hold him this time. "You won't need it. I won't need it to fuck you."

_Xanatos, don't! _Qui-Gon had screamed, his control broken. Maybe it was the Force-collar on his neck or the fact that he was chained hand and foot, but he had pleaded his former apprentice not to rape Obi-Wan.

There was no one to beg ber'Nac to stop. And even though, just like Xanatos, he wouldn't have listened, Obi-Wan would have liked to hear his master's voice.

"Take your clothes off, Obi-Wan." ber'Nac kissed his cheek. "I can't wait. All time constraints aside, you smell just as I imagined: wild and tame at the same time." He licked Obi-Wan's ear and buried his nose in the padawan's hair. "Pants first, if you don't mind. I'm enjoying myself."

Obi-Wan worked at his belt, his eyes closed. But the river wouldn't stay in his mind. Concentrating harder as his belt came undone and he pushed his pants down, Obi-Wan called to the Force around him, willing to let the image of the river go if he could just feel surrounded by the Force. It wouldn't come.

_No. It's not the Force. The Force is constant. I can't reach out to it. _A lump rose in his throat, but he pushed it down. _I will not lose control. I can't access the Force; I can still keep my mind clear._

Ber'Nac slapped him. "Take off your boots," he said, smiling when Obi-Wan looked at him. Smiling with his mouth, his eyes narrowed and his lust temporarily replaced with irritation.

Obi-Wan retreated to the bed and sat down, unlacing his boots. He tried to keep an image of Qui-Gon in his mind, but he couldn't even bring his lover's face into focus, let alone hold it there. And with this last failure, he felt his resolve crack. Gritting his teeth, Obi-Wan pushed his boots off, followed by his socks. Then he stood up and stripped off his tunic. His braid slapped his bare shoulder, but he ignored how its touch made him feel sick. _I will not break. Not for ber'Nac. I broke for Xanatos, but not for this poor excuse for a padawan who doesn't dare to leave the Jedi order, but who can't live by its code, either. _He reached for his boxers, but ber'Nac caught his hands.

"Now, now, Obi-Wan, I don't want you to move quite _that_ fast." He laughed, his eyes smiling once more and now his lust had returned.

_He doesn't suspect me. He forgot that I was ignoring him only a minute ago. _Obi-Wan realized that he would be able to walk away from his with his mind if not his dignity if he was careful to seem compliant. "What now?" he asked.

"You're certainly eager." ber'Nac sat beside him on the bed and began kissing him again. "Don't even pretend to want this," he whispered, his tone loving, but his hand reaching down to touch Obi-Wan through his boxers. "I can make this painful or nice, but if you pretend, I promise you'll limp out of here."

"I won't pretend," Obi-Wan answered. "I just want you to fuck me. I want to get back before Qui-Gon shows up and wonders where I am. I don't want him to ever know about this." That last was true, and Obi-Wan saw from ber'Nac's eyes that he'd been believed.

ber'Nac began to stroke him. "I guess my challenge is to make you forget about the time if even for a few minutes." He bit Obi-Wan's shoulder lightly. "To make you really like it, in other words." He pushed Obi-Wan back, then claimed his mouth in a kiss that stole the younger Jedi's breath.

_I'd rather jump into an active speeder engine. _"You won't break me." Not to hear his own voice, but to challenge ber'Nac, to keep him thinking of what he wanted.

"That's right. How stupid of me. I forgot who I'm talking to: obedient Obi-Wan. And of course you'll obey your master's words over mine." He slipped his hand into Obi-Wan's boxers. "You're already hard," he noted, grinning. "This won't be hard."

oOo

The image melted and ran. Anakin thrashed on the infirmary cot, but didn't seem able to wake up. _Come back! Come back right now! _he screamed at the image. True, it had made his skin crawl, but Anakin had felt closer to Obi-Wan somehow. Like he could understand him. And now something was taking away that closeness. With the instincts that had carried him through so many things, Anakin realized that it wasn't Obi-Wan who had taken the image away or even Obi-Wan who was inadvertently sending him the images.

The Force had taken an interest in Anakin personally. And as conceited as that sounded, Anakin couldn't deny how true it felt. He knew he couldn't tell anyone, but that didn't keep him from feeling how true it was. But why would the Force pay special attention to him? More importantly, at least at the moment, why had the Force decided that he couldn't see Obi-Wan's memory? Wasn't he good enough? Didn't the Force think he was strong enough?

_I was a slave! _He shouted in his sleep. _Can't you tell I don't need to be taken care of! _But the moment he thought the words he realized how ridiculous and futile it was to argue with the Force. Then he remembered what Obi-Wan had said about having a partnership with the Force, and he apologized to the Force for his words, even though he was still frustrated and he was sure the Force could feel that.

_At least I made the gesture. Sometimes, in negotiations, the fact that you're trying is appreciated by your opponent. _Qui-Gon had told him that much when they had been on their way to Coruscant. He'd been filling Anakin in on the situation on Naboo while Obi-Wan sat nearby, cleaning both of their lightsabers.

Anakin thought maybe he would dream about that next, but then another image began to seep into his mind, and when he recognized it Anakin gave chase, not wanting to lose it this time. _Maybe I'll actually get the whole story this time._

oOo

Late-morning sunlight streamed in through the high windows and Obi-Wan groaned, squinting. _Wait. There aren't any windows in my room or in Qui-Gon's. _That was when he remembered dragging himself into the quarters he shared with his lover. Qui-Gon had still be gone, so Obi-Wan abandoned all pretense of health and collapsed on the couch, closing his eyes. He'd thought that he wouldn't sleep, but apparently he'd done just that. And now he was lying on his back while the sun tried to burn his retinas off. He heard the rustling of cloth and knew instinctively that the sound was being made for his benefit so that he wouldn't be startled. For surely Qui-Gon Jinn was known for his ability to move silently.

A shadow crossed in front of the light, shielding him.

"You've slept late, my young padawan."

Qui-Gon was only teasing him; Obi-Wan could hear the humor in his lover's voice. But there was also a tiny trace of concern.

_Because I was stupid enough, weak enough, to fall asleep on the couch instead of in my bed like a real Jedi, I'll have to make sure I don't make him any more worried._

Qui-Gon reached out and touched his forehead. "You're warm. How do you feel?" His concern was growing.

_He won't find out. I won't let it happen. _Obi-Wan focused his mind and sent feelings of love and sheepishness through the bond. Let Qui-Gon think his lover had fallen asleep waiting for him. He gazed up at his lover and sent this thought: _You look like a being of light, surrounded and filled by it. Do you love me so much?_

_Obi-Wan, stop. _Qui-Gon's concern had grown. _Tell me what's wrong._

So. He _wasn't_ going to be believed. Obi-Wan closed his eyes so that he couldn't be read that way and concentrated on making himself seem innocent and completely worry-free. He felt Qui-Gon's wrist on his brow and enjoyed how cool and comforting it felt. But he knew Qui-Gon didn't believe he was sick for a moment. It was simply an excuse to touch him.

An excuse to touch him…

_Spread your legs, my obedient Obi-Wan. That's it. Just a little more. Now, tilt your hips up…_

Obi-Wan banished ber'Nac's voice from his mind. "I'll be all right, Master. Maybe I just drank too much last night or-"

"Since when do you drink, Obi-Wan? If you were ber'Nac I might believe it."

A shiver passed through Obi-Wan and he thought, _ber'Nac… Yes, I know he drinks. _By the end of their time together the night before, ber'Nac's breath had smelled strongly of cheap whiskey. _Why does his name leap to your mind?_ the padawan wanted to ask his lover as he resisted the urge to shiver a second time.

Large hands were stroking him, drawing at him, compelling him to lose control and just give himself over to the pleasure that built and ebbed at the behest of another being. _NO! That's in the past! I'm fine! I'm safe! Qui-Gon is here! I'll never have to serve ber'Nac again!_

_Until he comes for me. And then I'll have to let him touch me again because I can't let him hurt Qui-Gon. And even if I didn't break last night- that's the only thing I can be proud of; I stayed true to myself- I'll break next time or the time after that._

Qui-Gon's other hand had found his shoulder and was rubbing at the padawan's tense muscles. He murmured, his voice gentle, "Now be still for a moment while I…"

_No! He's going to deepen our bond to where I can't hide anything from him! _Usually, that prospect made Obi-Wan relax, but now, for one of the first times in their relationship, he needed to hide something from his master. He rushed to speak. "I can already feel that the Force is stirred around me, Master." _Think quick, Obi-Wan. What could have changed since last night? What moves so quickly? _"I guess I have some sort of infection." Obi-Wan's reached out. His hand trembled, which made him feel ashamed, but he pushed past that feeling and touched Qui-Gon's shoulder. He tried to smile. "I'll just rest and-"

Qui-Gon stopped trying to create the deeper connection, but the edge of worry in his voice was sharper now. "I don't like this warmth. We should go to the Healers."

Panic changed to scrabbling, shaking terror in Obi-Wan's mind and he rolled away, knowing he couldn't keep the fear from his face. "No… Master, really, I'm fine." He struggled to fortify his shields, making sure there wasn't a single crack in them. "All I need is rest. May I join you in meditation instead of sparring? Perhaps the healing trance will cure me."

The hand Qui-Gon laid on his shoulder was unfailingly gentle. "My young Padawan, you are in pain. Let me help you."

Something brushed across Obi-Wan's mind and the padawan knew Qui-Gon was trying to reassure him. Obi-Wan suffered a moment of guilt for shutting his master and lover out, but he knew it was for the best. He was resolved to keep his voice businesslike and full of unimpeachable maturity. "Please let me meditate at your side, Master," Obi-Wan whispered, his lips barely moving. He hated himself at once for that weak, childish whisper, and knew that he sounded like the fourteen-year old he had once been instead of the nineteen-year old senior padawan he had become.

His whole body was stiff, but more with fear and shame than pain. Though the pain was there, yes, low and pulsing with his heartbeat. Obi-Wan mastered his voice and spoke again. "Please. It is the only help I require." He had been able to ignore it until now, to channel his thoughts away from it, but the idea of sparring with Qui-Gon made him feel slightly sick to his stomach. _There's no way I'll be able to move convincingly. He'll know something in wrong the moment I draw my lightsaber._

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon warned, squeezing his padawan's shoulder.

He longed to tell Qui-Gon; of course he did. But that would be like offering himself to Xanatos: the last thing he would or could ever do. _Of course, I did give myself to Xanatos once… But this isn't the time to think about that! _he thought in frustration as his throat constricted. He worked to speak past the tightness and managed it without making his voice come out sounding lost. "Please… It is nothing. Nothing serious. Please let me work this out on my own. I promise I'll be just fine. Please, Master."

Qui-Gon moved around the couch and knelt at Obi-Wan's side. Obi-Wan's shield had slipped ever so slightly, and Qui-Gon sent, without attempting to read his padawan's mind, _Open your eyes, Obi-Wan. Please. I want to see you looking at me._

It was a simple enough request, and Obi-Wan was relieved that he was only being asked to do something easy that he complied.

Qui-Gon's eyes were lit with a bright concern Obi-Wan only saw when he, the apprentice, was badly injured. "You're trembling, Obi-Wan. I certainly will not leave this alone or let you work on it by yourself. Talk to me. I can help."

"No you can't. You're the last person who can help." Obi-Wan curled into himself, fighting against the tears that wanted to come. _I'm a senior padawan! I can't cry! I won't cry! I'm doing the right thing and I won't let that bastard take it away from me! I won't let ber'Nac hurt Qui-Gon! And if that means keeping everything secret from my love, my master, so be it._

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon urged his padawan into a sitting position so that he, too, could be on the couch. He hugged Obi-Wan against him, smoothing his hair and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Please don't pull away from me. Let me help you." He didn't try to send any thoughts through their diminished bond, for which Obi-Wan was grateful. He knew Qui-Gon was giving him his space as he would any other Jedi.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded," Obi-Wan whispered. "I know you can usually help, but not this time. I need to figure this out on my own." But that wasn't true; he already had it figured out. "I'm lying to you, and you know it. I don't what to say because I am afraid of what will happen to you if I say the wrong thing."

"When has speaking the truth been dangerous?" Qui-Gon asked. "This isn't a hearing, Obi-Wan, but I might ask you to treat it that way and be completely honest. Unburden your heart to me, padawan mine."

"I can't. Not now, anyway. I promise I'll tell you everything the day I become a Jedi Knight." He turned so that he could meet Qui-Gon's gaze. "I love you. I trust you. But this is something I have to resolve myself. I promise that I am not bringing harm to others or to my connection with the Force." He smiled sadly. "Please let me make this mistake, if mistake it is, on my own that I might learn from it."

"But you don't think it's a mistake, this thing you're involved in." Qui-Gon's eyes were piercing, searching his face for any pain or fear. But his voice was gentle and the hand he laid on Obi-Wan's shoulder was comforting.

"No."

Qui-Gon trailed his fingers down Obi-Wan's jaw. "I love you, too, Obi mine. Don't forget that I'll always be here for you. But I won't pry. Please open yourself to me as much as you can without giving away this thing."

Obi-Wan dropped his shields at once and sighed in pleasure and relief as Qui-Gon at once embraced him with a gentle, pulsing Force. Before he could stop himself, Obi-Wan thought, _Hold me and don't let go. _He knew how childish and cliché the words sounded, but if Qui-Gon was amused by them, he didn't show it.

Moving carefully, Qui-Gon laid back on the couch, drawing Obi-Wan on top of him, urging the younger man to use the broad chest below him as a cushion for his head. He caressed Obi-Wan's back and upper arm, his touch light, barely there, and yet warm with comfort. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and sighed, letting his body conform to Qui-Gon's. Inhaling, he drew Qui-Gon's scent into his lungs and held it there for a moment, letting it out slowly. All the tension in his body began to fade and for the first time since he'd woken, Obi-Wan realized that the pain in his lower body had been at least half-imagined, a manifestation of his mental suffering.

He smiled, his first real smile since yesterday evening. "Qui-Gon?"

"Yes, Obi-Wan?"

"You're so good to me."

Qui-Gon chuckled. "Haven't we already been over this?"

"I just want you to hear it again and again." Obi-Wan's smile turned wicked. "I know how old you're getting; you need to be reminded sometimes."

Qui-Gon swatted his padawan's backside. "Watch your tongue, padawan mine. It betrays you."

Obi-Wan pushed himself and stuck the aforementioned muscle out at his master. Then he leaned forward and kissed Qui-Gon deeply, not letting up until Qui-Gon's hands were pushing almost desperately at his shoulders. Then he drew back, if only a little, and said, "My tongue betrays my needs. Please tell me you want the same things."

The older man groaned. "Obi-Wan, you're making my lightsaber hot and ready for battle."

"I know. But I don't want any battle. I want your lightsaber in its proper sheath." He kissed Qui-Gon again, chastely, then stood. "Please. I miss you."

Qui-Gon rose and embraced Obi-Wan once more, kissing his forehead, his cheek, his lips. "Obi mine." He smiled and turned towards his room. "Come with me. I'm sure we can find my treasured sheath if we work together."

oOo

Anakin stirred awake, his mind spinning with a thousand questions. And unlike most dreams, he knew this one wouldn't fade. Because it had been a vision, not a real dream. A vision sent by the Force.

He sat up and glanced around, expecting to see the walls of the room he'd shared with Obi-Wan the night before. But stark, white walls, dressed in midnight shadows, greeted him, and he remembered how he had begged Qui-Gon for a chance to stay with Obi-Wan while the older Jedi did research, met with Queen Amidala and got everything ready for their morning departure to Naboo.

_That's assuming the Council will let me go._ But even his nervousness about the Council's decision couldn't distract Anakin from the questions the dreams had planted in his mind. He slipped off his cot and went to Obi-Wan, taking the padawan's hand in the semi-darkness. Obi-Wan didn't stir, but that meant little, because the padawan had yet to move at all except to blink and roll his eyes.

After making sure bi-Wan was asleep, Anakin pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat holding the young man's hand. He began to list his questions in his mind, trying to put them in the order he wanted to ask them. Qui-Gon might answer some of them, or maybe Obi-Wan would regain the ability to move and speak in the morning. _Maybe then he could come with us to Naboo._

_First, what's a force collar? No, that isn't the most important thing. First, I need to know who Xanatos is. No. I want Obi-Wan to tell me about how the Force could contact me. Wait; I already know that. It's because of the mediclorian count in my blood. What I really need to know is why the Force would single me out. But maybe the Force singles everyone out. _Anakin pulled at his hair. _Of course the Force singles us out! It speaks to each of us differently! But I know something's different about how the Force spoke to me. I don't think visions are common, even among the most talented, most Force-sensitive Jedi._

Sighing, he decided, _I'll just tell Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon everything that happened last night and then they'll tell me what to do._ He took Obi-Wan's limp hand in both of his and began to trace circles in the padawan's palm as Qui-Gon had done.

Obi-Wan's hand tightened around his.

"Obi-Wan! You're awake!" Anakin cried, jumping up. The chair almost fell over, but he ignored this. "Obi-Wan? Can you hear me?"

The padawan squeezed his hand again but didn't answer.

"You can't talk." Anakin said, disappointed.

Obi-Wan pulled his hand up, urging Anakin closer. He placed Anakin's hand on his chest over his heart and in the dimness, he smiled.

"You're welcome," Anakin answered. "Qui-Gon said I could stay while he gets everything ready so we can leave. I wish you could come with us."

Obi-Wan smiled again. He seemed unable to move his head despite his newfound dexterity with his arms.

Anakin reached out to touch Obi-Wan's mind, but he met with a wall. "Can you take your shield down? We could talk that way."

Obi-Wan frowned. The shield in his mind trembled, then came back twice as strong. He scowled and tried again. Still, the shield held. Sweat was streaking down his skin as he fought to reach his pretend padawan.

"It's okay, Master Obi-Wan," Anakin told him. He climbed up onto the bed and slipped into the space between Obi-Wan's arm and his side. Obi-Wan blinked, his frown falling away, then tried to wrap his arms around Anakin. But his attempt to batter down the shield had exhausted him.

Anakin drew Obi-Wan's around him and made himself comfortable. "I guess you should go back to sleep. Maybe you'll be better tomorrow."

Obi-Wan was losing consciousness fast, and his strength even faster, but he managed to brush Anakin's hand before he had to give in to his need for sleep.

"It's okay," Anakin whispered, yawning. "Everything will be fine in the morning." After snuggling against Obi-Wan's side, using the padawan's shoulder for a pillow, he fell back to sleep and did not dream.

O------------------------------------------O

tbc…

**Ancient Galaxy:** Did somebody call for fluff? Thank you for your warm review.

**BreathingFlames:** If Qui-Gon doesn't deal with ber'Nac maybe Anakin will, or at least try to. The danger there, of course, is that ber'Nac is so strong Force-wise. And feel free to strangle ber'Nac. He has it coming.

**Moonjava:** I hope this chapter title is better. Take care now. And thank you for the review. It means a lot to me.

**Gizzi1213:** Hmmm… Yoda's comment about Anakin implies that he knew Anakin _before _all this happened… 

**Jaken's Angel:** This is the review you left: "astounding. I hope ber'Nac burns in hell. the way you write makes the story seem so...real. Poor Obi-Wan." I love the random way you leave a review. Praising… wanting to kill a vile, disgusting creature…back to praise…caring for our lovely Obi. Thank you for making me smile. And I'm glad you're enjoying this. It's really fun to write.


	7. The Voice of the Force

**A/N:** Dang. There were so many congruency and spelling mistakes in the first posting of this that I have to post it again. Forgive me, Force; I know I didn't reflect their journey as you would have me.

The Voice of the Force

As the sun rose, Saltha left the detention area. Her eyes had dark circles under them and she felt as if she'd fought a ten-hour battle against fifty sharp-toothed, whip-tailed sheshes. But she refused to show her exhaustion until she was far enough away that ber'Nac couldn't see her. She had her shields firmly in place just in case he tried to reach her. True, the force field that surrounded him was supposed to block mental connections, but after what he had done to Obi-Wan…

_Now I understand how Qui-Gon felt when Xanatos betrayed him. I thought I knew what it might feel like; heartbreaking, to say the least, but I didn't know what that meant. _Sighing, she admitted, _At least ber'Nac was my third padawan instead of my first, and my first two were amazing. Tahl was the most accomplished young Jedi I have ever seen, and Tori is one of our best diplomats. _She felt the sting of pain as she thought of her deceased padawan, but she knew that Tahl hadn't regretted any part of her life. And, two years later, that helped, somewhat, to ease the pain.

She thought of all that Qui-Gon had told her two nights ago when they were alone, and realized, _He had Obi-Wan to comfort him when she died. He was lucky to have someone to love. Tahl and Qui-Gon were so very close for so long; I wonder if Qui-Gon could have coped with her death if Obi-Wan hadn't been there. _She cast her mind back and remembered a few times when she had surprised the two men in the Garden of Water Lilies. She'd seen a few things that would have made her wonder about the nature of their relationship if she hadn't been so distracted at the time by her grief.

And of course there were other, less pleasant things that Qui-Gon had mentioned, not the least of which was ber'Nac's first use of Obi-Wan six months or so ago, followed four months later by his second. _And I never sensed it! _That was part of the reason Saltha was in so much pain, and she knew it. Not only was she losing a padawan, but she had failed to read any of the warning signs. And they had talked about that, too, last night. Qui-Gon had tried to make her understand that she couldn't know everything about her padawan, but it still hurt.

Forcing her mind away from contemplations of guilt, for such self-recriminations were not the Jedi way, Master Saltha remembered one other piece of information Qui-Gon had given her, a thing that made her shiver with the danger her long-time friend and his padawan had been in. She slipped into a small meditation room, settled herself and thought back to what Qui-Gon had told her.

/Flashback/

"We'd been back on Coruscant for five months." Qui-Gon closed his eyes and leaned back against the back of the couch, his face pinched.

"You don't have to tell me if it hurts," Saltha said, resting a hand on one of his.

He smiled, but shook his head. "It would be a relief to tell someone. Only Obi-Wan and I know, but now that I've discovered the release of trusting someone else with our secret, I want you to know this, too." He opened his eyes and his gaze was pleading. "Unless of course you don't want to know. I can completely understand that."

She smiled. "Go ahead."

Qui-Gon nodded, relieved and grateful. "We had left Fregala after…"

Saltha was continually amazed when a man like Qui-Gon blushed.

"Obi-Wan and I consummated our love. Five months later, Obi-Wan began to feel strange cravings for various foods that he had never even tasted. Obi-Wan has always been attentive to his body's needs, even if he sometimes ignored them purposely, and he came to me at once."

"Did he give in to these cravings?" Saltha sat forward, intrigued.

"No. He was worried they might be part of some strange disease- we'd just come from the plague-riddled planet of Bwoa'shdeio."

Saltha laughed. "You pronounced that very well!"

Qui-Gon shook his head, grinning. "I practiced it for four days and nights."

"It took you that long?"

"It took me one day and half a night, but poor Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon laughed for a moment, then grew serious again. "Even though grown humans were supposed to be immune to the plague, Obi-Wan thought maybe that was the source of his strange cravings. I chose to have him ride it out for a few days because we were right in the middle of intense training maneuvers and neither of us wanted him to miss them. But when his cravings continued, even intensified, I suggested Obi-Wan give in to his new-found hunger. It worked. He felt better at once." Qui-Gon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Then he started throwing up in the early mornings."

Saltha's jaw dropped. "Qui-Gon, I know how crazy this sounds, but…"

He dragged his hand back again through his locks, as if hoping to drain some of the tension from his mind. "It's not crazy, and not even all that uncommon. There are many races in the galaxy where the man is just as likely as the woman to carry a child. Obi-Wan's father wasn't one of these, but his mother had that tendency in her family and passed it on to Obi-Wan."

Her eyebrows climbed up into her hair. "When did you learn all this?"

Qui-Gon waved a hand. "Long after all this happened. I did research." He sighed. "But let me tell you what came of all his pain and suffering and discomfort."

"Pain?"

"He was subjected to terrible cramps."

She shook her head. "I had no idea."

"No one did. It wasn't unusual for Obi-Wan to spend most of his time in our quarters when we were at Temple. He was known for studying and working too hard, and so no one was surprised that he didn't emerge from our quarters for nearly a month."

He passed his hand through his hair again then scowled att he hand, aware that he was starting to ingrain a motion into his muscles. Jedi could not have such tendencies. No biting their nails, no tapping their toes, no pulling at their hair. "Obi-Wan… He was so brave about everything. When the bleeding started, we were both very afraid, of course, but Obi-Wan managed to keep his body as calm as possible while we argued about going for help. I wanted to run to the infirmary and demand help, but two things would have come of that, and Obi-Wan refused to let either happen. First, Obi-Wan would have been dismissed from the Jedi Order. Second, I would have been sent to prison. Obi-Wan couldn't stand the thought of that. At last, we decided that I would monitor his blood level and when it dropped below a set point, if it did, I would take him to the infirmary anyway." Qui-Gon let out his breath in a whoosh; he laughed, misery plain in his eyes. "Obi-Wan won that gamble by a hundredth of a liter.

"He had a miscarriage. The baby… She was so beautiful, but so very small…" Qui-Gon put his head in his hands and his shoulders shook. His voice was muffled as he continued, "We named her Lindi Jinn Kenobi and buried her on Fregala with the permission of the government. We went there undercover, you might remember, and so they never knew we were Jedi. Only two men ever saw us use our lightsabers on that planet, and both were dead by then."

Her friend drew in a breath and held it as he raised his head and met her eyes once more. "So we've been careful since then. I did research on how a man could become pregnant and Obi-Wan did discreet research on contraceptives. I researched my own family history as well as Obi-Wan's. There are records, of course, that tell us where we were born, who our parents were, so it wasn't hard. Covering what I was doing was much more difficult." Sitting back, letting his eyes drift shut once more, Qui-Gon said, "Now you know everything about us."

/End Flashback/

Saltha stood and turned to gaze out at the window that overlooked the strange, metallic beauty of Coruscant. She smiled sadly and murmured, "Yes, Qui-Gon, now I know everything, except what's going to happen to you now. It isn't fair that you and your padawan might lose everything after suffering so much hurt and uncertainty."

She decided she needed to be alone for a while, and so she sought the sanctuary of the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

oOo

The sun painted delicate shadows on the walls and around the room. Some of these, feathery-grey and beautiful, surrounded Obi-Wan and Anakin as they slept. Instead of hiding the two, the shadows seemed to highlight them, making them seem like ethereal being from another world. Qui-Gon stood by the door and savored the moment, knowing he wouldn't see Obi-Wan again for at least a week, perhaps longer, and also enjoying the way his padawan had taken Anakin and cared for him.

_There was a time not long ago- five days ago, actually- that Obi mine would have treated Anakin was contempt and suspicion. But Anakin made his way into Obi-Wan's heart and there he will stay._

Reluctantly, Qui-Gon glanced at his chronometer. It was time to disturb the peaceful scene before him. He crossed the room silently, not really wanting to wake up either of the figures in the bed. But when he was still a meter or two away, Obi-Wan's eyes opened and the padawan smiled at him. The smile was strong, and Qui-Gon reached out, thinking to reach Obi-Wan through their bond.

…_Gon…love…_

Qui-Gon strode to the other side of the bed and took Obi-Wan's hand. "I love you, Padawan mine. I can see you'll heal with time. Be patient."

Obi-Wan made an irritated noise, then grinned, happy to discover that he could make a noise. He made another, then laughed, or tried to. His ability to make vocables was rapidly deserting him.

Anakin hugged Obi-Wan suddenly. "You're better than last night," he said. Sitting up, he grinned, compelling Obi-Wan not to become depressed.

Obi-Wan smiled back, then gestured, or seemed to, since his hand wasn't moving so well, at Qui-Gon's chronometer.

"Yes, Padawan, Anakin and I have to leave. We're going to the Council chambers to talk about Anakin's test, then we're leaving for Coruscant."

Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed and sensing his intent, Qui-Gon and Anakin both listened hard in their minds. The word took a moment in coming, but it was clear.

_Luck._

Anakin hugged Obi-Wan again, then got out of bed. "I guess I should change, or at least brush my hair."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Come, Anakin. We'll get you ready, then we'll go speak with the Council." He paused, looking back at Obi-Wan.

"I'll be out in the hall," Anakin said and winked at Obi-Wan.

When he was gone, Qui-Gon chuckled. "Your pretend padawan has a lot of discretion."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Anakin told me about his request and that you accepted." Qui-Gon leaned forward and kissed Obi-Wan's lips gently. "I love you, Obi mine. Thank you for taking care of him. And thank you-" he kissed Obi-Wan again- "for loving me. We're both lucky to have you."

Obi-Wan blushed, but his eyelids were already growing heavy. He tried to send one last message. _Worth it._

Qui-Gon brushed his lips over Obi-Wan's hair. "For me too, Padawan mine. Rest. We'll be back soon." When Obi-Wan's eyes had closed, Qui-Gon slipped from the room. Anakin was waiting for him in the hallway, and Qui-Gon clapped his hand on the boy's shoulder. "He'll be all right. Obi-Wan, padawan though he is, is the master of patience."

He smiled, and Anakin thought maybe this was a recent development in Obi-Wan's life, or maybe one that had always been there, but had grown in intensity recently. He decided not to ask yet. Let them get on the ship heading for Naboo. Then he would ask, if Qui-Gon had time to answer.

_For now, what I really have to worry about is the Council. _Anakin felt the butterflies start in his stomach and briefly wished that he was still snuggled against Obi-Wan, fast asleep.

Qui-Gon seemed to sense his unease. "All will be well, young one. You'll see."

oOo

They had begun the discussion at dusk and now it was an hour past dawn. Qui-Gon and the boy would be arriving soon. And still the Council was divided on what to do.

"He's too old. That's the end of it," Adee Larn said.

Ki-Adi-Mundi sighed. "It's not that simple. If we're going to accept or deny this boy a place in the Jedi Order, we have to possess true reasons."

"I never said we wouldn't have real reasons," Adee Larn answered, gesturing with his head towards Yoda and Mace, "but Qui-Gon doesn't need to know those reasons, does he? All he knows is that the boy is too old. There isn't much he can do."

"He's disobeyed the Council before," Adi Gallia said, her voice quiet, firm, unbreakable. "We must be prepared for that eventuality."

Zee spoke for the first time in over an hour. "Let's leave this discussion of semantics for a moment." He turned to Yoda and Mace. "Please, I beg you to reconsider why you are denying Anakin the opportunity to become a padawan. As you've pointed out, Mace, he isn't even really connected to you. You never knew him. He is a part of the Force, as we all are, but he is a gift _from_ the Force, and perhaps should be treated differently because of that."

Yoda held up a hand and everyone stilled. "Yes, Master Zee, true that is. Differently Anakin should be treated. Protected he should be. Becoming a Jedi the best way to protect him is not."

Zee nodded, knowing that his arguments wouldn't be listened to. He had never thought he would say such a thing, but Yoda was too close to this situation to see it clearly. Startling as that was, it was almost understandable. Anakin was much more than a boy from Tatooine to Yoda. _And even if Yoda put Anakin with Shmi in the first place, that doesn't mean he wants to risk the boy's life again. I remember how depressed Yoda was when he had to give up Anakin the first time. He thought it was for the best then, and maybe he believes that now, but even if he doesn't, I've said all I can._

"Qui-Gon and the boy are waiting outside," Mace announced.

Yoda nodded. "Admit them. A decision we have reached."

Ten minutes later, after Qui-Gon and Anakin were gone, Adee Larn said, "You did the right thing, Master Yoda. There's nothing else that could have been done."

Zee felt betrayed by his brother, but since it was a foolish and unfounded feeling, he simply sighed and let it go. What good could his sadness do?

"Troubled you are," Yoda observed, meeting Zee's gaze.

The younger master nodded. "Yes, Master."

"Are there other concerns of which you have not spoken before?"

"Two actually," Zee answered. "The first is about two members of the Jedi Order and the second is about Anakin himself."

"State your concerns about the Jedi," Mace said, speaking for Yoda as so often happened. The two knew each other's minds remarkably well.

"Obi-Wan has been hurt badly, mentally and physically, many times. He has Qui-Gon; we have all seen how they depend on each other. But Obi-Wan has smiled more since he and Qui-Gon arrived from Tatooine with Anakin than he has in a year. Many have remarked on it, and I can't help but notice how close the two have become. I would offer the opinion that Obi-Wan needs Anakin as much as Anakin needs Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and a way to become a Jedi."

If Yoda was moved, he didn't show it.

"And your concern about Anakin?"

"Jedi can live for centuries, true?"

Yoda nodded.

"And it's our connection the Force that makes that possible?"

"True that is."

Zee kept his excitement from his voice with only the most distinct effort. "Well, if Anakin isn't connected to the Force, he would die after less than a century of life. Can we doom him to that when he has a chance to live for almost a millennium?" He saw at once that he'd gotten under Yoda's skin. The small Jedi Master went completely still and the tension in the room rose ten or so notches.

Mace stood. "We've already made our decision. Thank you for sharing your concerns with us, but this meeting is over." The other masters stood. "May the Force be with you." Mace remained where he was until all the others had filed out, then he sank to the floor before Yoda. _He doesn't know. He didn't mean to hurt you,_ he sent.

Yoda sighed. _Know this I do, but true his words were. Die early Anakin will, but decided we did that to live in peace is better than to live longer in danger._ He met Mace's gaze. _Forgive me you will if of our past I speak?_

_Say what you need to say, Yoda. Don't talk of forgiveness when there is nothing to forgive._

Nodding, Yoda closed his eyes. _Yace was killed during Xanatos' attack on the Temple. He was one of the three padawans Bruck, at Xanatos' command, murdered in secret. _Mace knew of this, but Yoda needed to purge it from his mind so he could move forward. _Found his body after Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan and went after Xanatos. Felt him die you and I both did, but find him at first we could not. And too late to save him it was. No connection with another do I want like that. Hurts enough it does to be worried about you._

He couldn't explain himself, and Mace finished for him. _Children change things, especially when they are Forcesensitive. If Yace had been like Holre, not Forcesensitive but a happy child, we could have taken care of him and watched over him from afar, then contacted him when he was old enough to understand._

_Rare it is for two Forcesensitive beings to have a non-Forcesensitive child, _Yoda said. _Fortunate the first time we were. But make the mistake again we will not. Protect Anakin we must._

Mace used the Force to lock the chamber doors, then he sat, cross-legged on the floor and drew Yoda into his lap. _But it's different this time. It's different because Anakin has a chance to live for many, many years. Can we take that chance away from him in an attempt to protect him? And where will we send him? He isn't like Holre because Anakin is almost ten years old. We might have to explain things a little now, send him away, then bring him back later. That isn't fair. And it might be impossible. _

Yoda groaned and buried his face in Mace's robe. _Unsure of the best course I am. I know reverse its decision the Council can, but only once. If tell Anakin he can stay we do, take that away we cannot._

Mace massaged behind Yoda's left ear, soothing his husband as best he could. _We have a few days to decide, at least. Let them get to Naboo and solve things there. Then we'll decide._

_Yes. A desire to wait have I. And hopefully help it will. _He sighed and wrapped his arms around Mace's neck. _Love you I do. Always patient and kind and compassionate you have been._

Mace kissed Yoda lightly on the top of his head. _I love you, Yoda. And I always will._

oOo

Anakin sat beside Qui-Gon as the ship leapt to hyperspace. He wanted to talk to the Jedi, but wasn't exactly sure how to approach him. It was strange, but before he'd felt more comfortable with Qui-Gon than Obi-Wan. Yet now he missed Obi-Wan's presence and felt nervous about talking to the older man.

_But being timid never got me anywhere. _"Master Qui-Gon?"

The man looked down at him, and Anakin had the thought that he'd dragged Qui-Gon back from thoughts of Obi-Wan. "Yes, Anakin?"

"Can I ask you a few things?" He glanced around at the other occupants of the cockpit. "Alone?"

Qui-Gon nodded and led him into their sleeping quarters. He took one bunk and gestured for Anakin to take the other. He met the boy's eyes and waited.

"Were you thinking about Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked, deciding to see if he'd been right. He hadn't touched Qui-Gon's mind out of respect. If Qui-Gon was worried about what would happen when he returned from Naboo, he deserved to keep his worries to himself.

Qui-Gon smiled. "Actually, no. Obi-Wan will heal. And no matter what happens to us, he will always be all right. He's strong." He folded his hands in his lap. "I was thinking about you. I still want to train you, and I'm going to fight this. Understand that under no circumstances will I abandon you." He sat forward. "I don't think I mentioned that you're special, Anakin. I believe you're the Chosen One, the one meant to bring balance to the Force. But you can't fulfill your destiny without becoming a Jedi, so I'm going to see to it that you become one."

Anakin swallowed. There seemed to be an awful lot riding on his ability to impress the Council. And he'd already failed once. "I'm sorry they didn't like me."

"Oh, they liked you. They're just bound by foolish rules that don't apply in this case." Qui-Gon stood and began to pace. "Rules are good guidelines, but they're not set in stone. If you were a different person, with different abilities, you would be too old to train. But you're not." He sat down next to Anakin. "When Obi-Wan was six, he needed to be taken by a Master. No one wanted him because he was a struggling youngling. He studied hard, but a meaningful connection to the Force eluded him. It wasn't natural with him as it was with every other youngling. Only Master Ahleh wanted Obi-Wan." He smiled. "I might have asked to take him, but I had a padawan of my own at the time."

"Padawan Xanatos?"

Qui-Gon blinked. "How do you know about that?"

"It's something I want to tell you about. I had another vision." He added quickly, "But don't stop. Please. Tell me what you were going to tell me."

For a moment, Qui-Gon seemed to have lost his train of thought. Then his smile returned. "It was hard on Obi-Wan because he was the talk of the Temple, especially among some of the Knights who hadn't become masters yet. They saw him as a burden and wondered why Ahleh didn't take a better, more qualified padawan. Obi-Wan didn't learn how to lift things with his mind until he was eight, four or five years later than his classmates."

Anakin stared. Remembering Obi-Wan standing on his head in the meditation room and sending things into orbit about the room, he said, "But… but he's so good at it!"

Qui-Gon grinned. "He practices. What Obi-Wan always lacked in natural ability he made up for in determination and hard work." His smile disappeared. "When Obi-Wan was seven, his master died on a mission. Obi-Wan wasn't old enough or experienced enough to go with her." He took in Anakin's sorrowful expression and thought, _He will always be sympathetic to the pain of others. And in that he will have a beautiful connection to the Living Force._

Qui-Gon continued, "I found Obi-Wan alone in one of the upper levels of the Temple. I hadn't seen him in quite a while. Since then, I'd lost my padawan and I had resolved never to have another. I was still determined not to have another, but Obi-Wan didn't want a master. He just wanted someone to talk to. So that's all the two of us did for a year. We talked about Ahleh, I taught him to meditate because it would soothe his mind and make him closer to the Force, closer to her, and he reminded me of the good reasons to have a padawan. I hadn't smiled since I lost Xanatos, but Obi-Wan had a natural ability about him that I couldn't deny." Shaking his head, Qui-Gon added, "And as much as I wanted to deny it, I needed Obi-Wan. I needed to remember that life was still worth living, that there were good people in the world and that not everyone was going to betray me." His smile had returned. "Again, even though Obi-Wan wasn't the most Forcesensitive padawan at the Temple, he was sensitive to other things. He learned quickly what would make me smile and used that knowledge shamelessly whenever I was in pain."

Looking at Anakin, Qui-Gon said, "Every padawan brings something special to the relationship with a master. Some bring natural ability, some bring a good work ethic and still others bring a mix of the two." He smiled. "That would be you, Anakin. And whoever becomes your master will be getting an amazing padawan."

"But I…" Anakin shook his head. "No. You can't be my master. You already have a padawan."

"Obi-Wan is ready for the trials. Once the Council sees that, I'll be free to work with another padawan. With you. And if, for some reason, it is decided that Obi-Wan is not ready, another master will take you. There are many that I could see you working with happily, to the benefit of both of you."

"I like Master Saltha. But she has ber'Nac."

"Not for much longer, I should think. But don't think that means you'll get to work with her. Every master needs a different length of time between padawans, especially after a difficult padawan." He squeezed Anakin's shoulder and asked "Now, what was the vision you had? You should tell me before we reach Naboo. Once we're there, time won't be on our side." He smiled. "As a Jedi, you'll learn about that. Time is rarely something we have in abundance, even when we're told that very thing."

Anakin launched into the first dream, resolved to tell only what he'd seen and heard and to keep his opinion out of it if he could. Qui-Gon would know what to do. And when he had told everything, surprised that Qui-Gon didn't seem embarrassed by what he was hearing, Anakin just looked at the Jedi and waited.

"You saw everything from Obi-Wan's point of view, just as you did before, except you were able to completely access his thoughts." Qui-Gon frowned, his eyes distant. "Some Jedi have the ability to send visions one to another, but both must be very strong in the Force for that to occur, and both must be conscious of the transfer. This isn't like that. A third party took the memory from Obi-Wan, every detail, and gave it to you." He nodded to himself. "You have always had a deep connection to the Force and you are forming a deep connection with Obi-Wan. I believe the Force built a bridge between you and Obi-Wan, perhaps to strengthen your bond, perhaps to help one or both of you later on, perhaps for some reason the Force has not revealed yet." He nodded to himself. "Whatever the reason, surely the Force will reveal its purpose to you. Keep your mind open and share what you hear with me. If I cannot help you, the Force may contact you again or Master Yoda can help." He leaned forward. "Whatever happens, Anakin; don't be afraid of these visions. They are a gift from the Force to an open and receptive mind. Take them as such."

Anakin sat up straighter. "I'm not afraid. I just wanted you to know." He swallowed. "There are two more. Are you ready?"

Qui-Gon settled back. "Tell me."

oOo

The disquiet and longing in his belly woke Obi-Wan long before he'd regained his full strength. But at once, he was able to access the Unifying Force around him and he forgot his troubled belly for a few moments as the world became clear to him as it had been before. Not just before ber'Nac attacked him, but before everything: before he'd submitted to the other padawan and deceived Qui-Gon and closed himself off. The relief and welcoming feeling he received from the Force made his eyes fill with tears. And though he knew he would at last be able to move enough to wipe them away, he let them fall, just so glad to be able to accept the Force fully into his life once more.

_Yes, _he thought, laughing softly even as the tears streamed down his cheeks, _this is why I became a Jedi. This is why I believe in a connection to the Force. _This_ is where I am supposed to be._

Then his belly rose in his mouth and he almost threw up. At once, he reached out to the Force and it calmed his body slightly, though it did not reduce his craving for Beechi nuts and Vernagas wine.

_Oh no._

Obi-Wan listened inside himself, confirming what he already suspected.

_Oh _NO. _Please…_

But it would do no good to beg Nature. Obi-Wan sighed and ran a hand distractedly over his belly, feeling to see if he was swelling yet. No, as much as he feared it, he wasn't showing yet. _Yet._ Reaching again to the Force, Obi-Wan drew it into himself and calmed himself once more. He commanded himself to think clearly, to prioritize. What was most important?

_Protecting Qui-Gon is most important._

_No, _whispered the Force, and Obi-Wan had to admit that he couldn't think that way anymore. He set his thoughts aside, knowing that to do otherwise would only bring more pain and suffering.

_So be it. The Force comes first. What is important to the Force? _But at once he knew. _Anakin. Anakin must become a Jedi. Anakin must bring balance to the Force… whatever that means. _

_The end of the Sith, _the Force answered at once, but Obi-Wan wasn't sure if that was just his own worries speaking. The Council wasn't even sure if it was a Sith that Qui-Gon had fought on Tatooine, let alone if Anakin was truly the Chosen One.

_So, I follow the will of the Force. What else? What does the Force tell me about the baby I'm carrying?_

_She will bring much sorrow and joy._

Obi-Wan blinked, more shocked than he could begin to express. He centered himself once more the Force didn't speak again at once, and after a moment, Obi-Wan decided, _I can't just lay here. That won't help my baby. _He sighed and admitted, _Besides, if I'm going to be kicked out of the Jedi Order, I want Qui-Gon to know about his daughter first._

_Qui-Gon won't be around to suffer for this breach of rules if you don't get out of this bed and get to Naboo _now.

The certainty in that voice, clear and ringing as a large bell on a hill top, left no room for thought, only obedient action. Obi-Wan sat up, swung his legs over the side of the infirmary bed, stood-

-and abruptly collapsed just as the door to his room opened. From his humiliating, semi-crouched position, Obi-Wan met the amused and troubled eyes of Master Yoda.

"Attempting to leave so soon you are?" Yoda asked. He waved his hand and Obi-Wan was settled back on the bed. Obi-Wan was glad that he hadn't been put in a hospital gown but had been allowed to sleep in his tunic and loose trousers. Qui-Gon must have dressed him, or at least argued for Obi-Wan's modesty.

But all thoughts of embarrassment fled as he met Yoda's gaze. "Master, Qui-Gon's in danger! I can feel it! The Force spoke to me and warned that Qui-Gon will die on Naboo unless I get there to stop it. Please, Master Yoda, I'm almost strong enough. If I rest a few more hours, please say I can go. Please plead my case before the Council."

Yoda rose to sit beside Obi-Wan on the bed. "Fear I sense in you, Padawan Obi-Wan. Unusual that is for any Jedi, but especially so for you. Explain yourself you can?"

"I'm worried about Qui-Gon. The Force told me-"

"Yes, heard your reason I already have. But understand your surrender to fear I do not. Why have you given in to fear? Tell me, Obi-Wan, you must. Only then will I listen to your words."

Obi-Wan saw the truth of the old master's words in his eyes and he gathered the Force about himself again, calming himself. Still he heard the chiming of Qui-Gon's doom in his mind, but he didn't let the warning fill him with fear, only with purpose. "I allowed myself to be overcome by fear instead of listening to the Force and acting on what it sends."

Yoda nodded. "Wish to go to Naboo you do?"

"Yes, Master."

"Sure you are that this is the commandment of the Force?"

"Yes, Master."

"Sense your frustration I do, Obi-Wan. Battling it well you are, but feel it you still do. Many long years it has been since you were separated from Qui-Gon for more than a few hours. Never been on two different planets you have been since fourteen you were. Perhaps your love getting in the way is?"

It was all Obi-Wan could do not to scream, "No!" Instead, he took in a breath and let out his anger with the air. "Master Yoda, at first that was true, but when I calmed my mind, the Force told me three things. First, I must follow the Force before I follow my love for Qui-Gon. Only by doing that can I follow the right path."

"True this is. And the second thing you were told?"

"Anakin is important to the Force. He is the Chosen One and he will restore the balance in the Force." He decided not to say that the Force had explained what that balance meant.

Yoda frowned, but asked, "And the third?"

"Qui-Gon is in danger and he will-" He had been about to say "die" but that wasn't exactly what the Force had said. Yoda needed to hear it as it had been relayed to him. Only then could Yoda be able to tell him what to do. "And he won't be here if I don't get to Naboo. I don't know if that means he'll be dead or he'll be kept away somehow, but the Force sent me the feeling that the loss of Qui-Gon would be tragic to more than just me. More than to just the rest of the Jedi. It would be a blow scored by the Sith, for the Dark side of the Force."

_Yes, _the Force answered, confirming the padawan's words, at least in Obi-Wan's own mind.

"Hmm." Yoda closed his eyes. "Hmm."

Obi-Wan began testing to see if his legs would hold him. They seemed stronger than before, but not even close to where they should be. Where they would have to be if he was going to leave Coruscant and find Qui-Gon. He glanced at Yoda. Surely the Jedi Master knew what he was doing, knew he was feeling out his limitations. But Yoda didn't try to stop him. _Maybe because I couldn't get out of here fast enough to avoid him grabbing me with the Force and dragging me back. _So Obi-Wan continued to test his strength, first by simply putting pressure on one foot or the other while he still sat on the bed, then going so far as to hold on to the bed and put a little weight on both feet. His knees trembled and his legs shook, and he hadn't taken even half his weight off the bed. _This isn't good. _Calling to the Force again, he said, _If I'm going to get to Qui-Gon, I need your help. Please help me save Qui-Gon._ He squared his shoulders and stood.

For a moment, strength flooded through him. Then he collapsed and only saved himself from having to be picked up again by throwing his weight backwards and landing on the bed. He darted a glance at Yoda, but the Master still hadn't moved or opened his eyes. Obi-Wan sighed.

"Seeking to do too much at once you are," Yoda announced, his eyes still closed. "If want to journey to Naboo you do, rest first you must. Then talk about it we will." Yoda turned at last to face Obi-Wan. "Believe you I do that in danger Qui-Gon is. Believe also I do that help him we must." He touched Obi-Wan's hand, an intimate touch he reserved for very young padawans and those that had been badly injured. "Perhaps save him you will not, but save him others will. Content yourself with that you must, or exhaust you feelings of anger and helplessness will." He watched Obi-Wan, reading his expression. "Understand you do, though a struggle it is for you to give over protection of your master to others. Listening to the Force well you are, Padawan Obi-Wan."

Yoda floated off the table and landed on the floor. Gazing up at Obi-Wan, he said, "Sleep you must. Came to talk about other matters I did, but speak of them later we will."

"Master Yoda, have you decided-"

"No decisions have I made. Speak to you first I must. But rest first." He held up a cautionary finger. "Leave here you must not. Still recovering you are. Find others to send to Naboo I will."

Obi-Wan nodded as he curled onto his side. He _was_ exhausted, as much as he hated to admit it. _I'm so weak. Why does everything hit me twice as hard as it hits everything else?_

The diminutive master had been walking towards the door. Now he turned, and his gaze pierced Obi-Wan, immobilizing him. "True that is not," Yoda said. "Lie to yourself do not, Obi-Wan. Strong you are, but in a different way than many Jedi. The first to come to the Temple with an unusual balance between your Force sensitivity and your will you are not. Rare your balance is, but not unheard of. Succeeded others have. Succeed you will if give in to such destructive thoughts you do not."

When Yoda was gone, Obi-Wan wondered, _How does he do that? Speak like a riddle, half make sense, but confuse me still?_ _When I was younger, I thought Qui-Gon's words of wisdom were riddles; even though most of those make sense to me now, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Yoda still makes me feel like a first-year padawan._

As much as Obi-Wan might have wanted to stay awake pondering Yoda's strange riddles, his body was loudly informing him that he wasn't going to be able to fight off his need for rest much longer. _When food arrives, eat, _Obi-Wan thought, quoting Qui-Gon. _And that also means that when you get a chance to sleep, sleep. _Sighing, he rolled over and closed his eyes.

oOo

_The Force speaks to many. But it can speak in different voices, or we can misterpret it. You have to learn to calm your mind enough so that the Force will speak clearly to you. _

Saltha's words. How many times had she spoken them, or spoken words that came down to the same? Simply put, she didn't trust him yet to know these things for himself, even though he was ready for the trials, had been ready for years. Long before anyone in his class, long before Obi-Wan, who had been given all the glory and all the attention and all the blessings by Yoda.

And yet, to think that this was simple jealousy would be a mistake.

ber'Nac nodded to himself. _I'm far above jealousy. That's an unproductive use of my time. No, I don't begrudge Obi-Wan his glory. He's so slow that if they didn't keep heaping praise on him he would give up. And Yoda hates to lose anyone with a trace of Forcesensitivity in them because then that person could go to the Dark Side. And the Jedi had enough problems without dealing with more failed padawans. _He smiled inside himself, careful to keep his face blank as he sat in his cell. The meditative position he'd put himself in would convince most to leave him alone. _The Temple was lucky Obi-Wan killed Bruck- oh accidentally of course. Our precious Obi-Wan would never kill someone out of anger or fear. Not our obedient Obi-Wan. _The smile in his mind broadened. _Of course, Xanatos escaped, and that caused a lot of problems, but in the end Qui-Gon killed him, pretending all the time that Xanatos committed suicide. No, I don't think Yoda wants to lose any more padawans to the Dark Side, even those with weak Force connections._

_There is no jealousy in me. All I want is my due. I should have gained my knighthood by now, but I don't have to look here to find it. I only need to look outside the Temple for that. And when I have proven how strong I am, and when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are nothing but exiled Jedi, I will come to them. If Qui-Gon is out of prison by then, I'll have to kill him, but that won't be difficult. Once he's out of the way, I will take Obi-Wan for my own, and eventually he will thank me for everything I can give him. _Frowning (this expression was reflected on his face, though he wasn't aware of it) ber'Nac added, _Though I can't just stay with Obi-Wan. As beautiful as he is, there are too many other stunning creatures in the galaxy. But he'll get used to that, too. After being cast out of the Jedi Order, he'll think he's useless. When I tell him that's nothing but the truth, he'll give himself to me._

His frown deepened. _Wait. Would they kick Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon out of the Temple? If Yoda wants to keep all Jedi in the Temple, would he let two Jedi go? Obi-Wan isn't very good, but Qui-Gon's a legend. Even though his first padawan turned to the Dark Side, Qui-Gon still has a good reputation, especially since he took on the challenge and hopeless case of Obi-Wan Kenobi. _Sighing, ber'Nac had to admit that Yoda probably wouldn't kick Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon out. Give them slap on the wrist, yes, maybe even make someone else Obi-Wan's master, but they wouldn't really discipline the two.

That complicated things. If Obi-Wan wasn't set adrift, he wouldn't be easy prey for ber'Nac. _I need to separate him from Qui-Gon and from the rest of the Temple. _Then, glancing up at the ceiling, he admitted, _But first, I have to get out of here._

He knew it could be done; instinctively, he knew. The question only remained: how? And ber'Nac thought he had an answer for that, too. After all, the guards that were guarding him weren't Jedi; they were just civilians hired to watch over a prisoner in a Force-defying cell. _They should be easy enough to persuade even without any little mind tricks. If I can just convince them to lower the field, I'll use the mind trick and then escape. It'll be easy._

And then? ber'Nac admitted he wasn't sure where to go. But if there was one thing his former master had taught him, it was that Forcesensitives could always find others like themselves. _I'll find someone who sees things my way, or at least enough my way to give me a leg up, then I'll come back. Some day, Obi-Wan Kenobi will be just another face in my harem and I'll be one of the strongest Dark-Force beings in the galaxy._

In the end, he was just like all other Jedi: he just wanted to be close to the Force. Wasn't that the only thing that mattered?


	8. Listening to the Voice

**A/N: **I should have titled these first chapters Book One. In any case, Book Two will start with the next chapters.

Thank you thank you thank you to those who wrote reviews.

Enjoy!

Listening to the Voice

He had dreamed of B'yrch trees and when Obi-Wan opened his eyes, he was smiling. Amidst a forest of white-barked beauty, he had been holding a baby girl in his arms and Qui-Gon had been standing nearby, watching them with a proud father's smile on his face.

_If only that's how our lives could really be. _Obi-Wan sighed. _But they cannot, not if we are to be Jedi. We must either give up our daughter or choose to leave the Jedi Order. Both are equally impossible, or at least seem so to me. Maybe, if I'm quiet, the Force will tell me what I must do. After Qui-Gon is rescued, of course._

A voice spoke from Obi-Wan's right and the bed dipped slightly as someone light came to rest on its edge. "Padawan Obi-Wan, speak to you I must. Open your eyes you can?"

Obi-Wan obeyed and met Yoda's gaze. "Hello, Master Yoda."

Yoda smiled. "Welcome you to wakefulness, Obi-Wan, I do." Settling himself more comfortably, Yoda gazed on Obi-Wan; his expression had changed to one of gravest concentration. "Ask you difficult questions I must. Weigh each answer you will before speaking."

"Yes, Master." _Master Yoda told me he would be asking questions. I'll answer them, then maybe I'll be strong enough to leave here and find Qui-Gon._

"Speak first of your time with Master Ahleh I must."

Obi-Wan caught his breath, then forced himself to be calm.

"Killed on a mission she was. Know this you do, but know the nature of the mission do you?"

"No, Master."

"Sent just to the other side of Coruscant she was, a meeting to negotiate between two parties. Killed she was by Qui-Gon's padawan she was."

Obi-Wan tried to sit up, but the Force held him down. "Xanatos killed her?" His eyes flashed and Obi-Wan knew in his heart that if Xanatos had been alive and standing in that room…

"Calm yourself you must, Obi-Wan, or complete this discussion we cannot."

Obi-Wan drew a breath and exhaled his fury. He wasn't sure if it was completely gone, but the edge and at least the first two or three layers beyond had been swept away. "Was this after Xanatos sided with his father on Telos?"

"Yes. Pursued him Qui-Gon did, but able to find him he was not. And other important matters to be tended to there were."

Obi-Wan managed to keep from shouting his question, but it was a near thing. His voice was calm, but the veins in his neck stood out. "What could be more important than finding Master Ahleh's killer?"

"Following her last wishes. Perceived that her death was near Ahleh did. Before she left the Temple, confided in Qui-Gon she did."

"She knew she was going to die? But having a vision of the future is so rare for Jedi, and we're told to be careful about trusting to such visions. They can contain as much of our own fears as truth."

"True that is, Obi-Wan. And afraid of the mission she was not, but cared for you she did and so made Qui-Gon promise to watch over you she had to." Yoda took Obi-Wan's hand. "Knew she did that watch over you I would, but another Master to watch over you she also needed. Close she, Tahl and Qui-Gon always were, along with others of their class. Trust him Ahleh knew she could."

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, composing himself, taking in and then releasing the wave of fresh grief that welled up within him at the memory of his first Master and how she had kissed him on the forehead before she left. _"You will be all right here for a few days, Obi-Wan. Be careful in my absence."_

Only now did Obi-Wan understand how much her final words had affected him. _I have been cautious ever since, alert to danger around me, even in the Temple, where I am supposed to be safe. It has not saved me sometimes, but there are times it has prevented my death. _And he thought of the kiss she'd placed on his forehead. Only once before had she displayed such intimacy with him: the day she took him to be her padawan and promised that she would always be there for him, in spirit if not in flesh.

"I remember that she warned me to be careful. And I have been. Always. Even when I didn't understand that it was her order I was obeying." Obi-Wan nodded. "I understand now why Qui-Gon could not chase after Xanatos that day. Even in the midst of his own grief, he did as she asked." Then the padawan's eyes widened. "Did he come seeking me, then? Was he not just there to grieve for the loss of Xanatos, but to search for me?"

"Only Qui-Gon answer that can."

_Then I must find him, _flashed through Obi-Wan's mind, and he exhaled the fear that ran through him. _I seem to be doing that a lot today, _he thought with a wry smile. "Master Yoda, may I ask a question?"

"If about finding Qui-Gon it is, no you may not. Time it is not."

"What other questions do you have for me, Master?"

"Focused you are. Good. Spoken of your past we have, but know this I must: move beyond those that have violated your trust can you?"

Color blossomed high in Obi-Wan's cheeks. "I do not recall the details of their touches willingly, Master Yoda, and I seek only to learn from those times and to move forward." Unsure if he was angry or embarrassed, Obi-Wan strove only for clarity and truth. "I will never trust easily, Master, but I can trust. I am on my guard even in the Temple, and yet I see no help for it when I have been attacked here twice. If you are asking me to trust each Jedi and simply meet betrayal if it comes, I cannot do that anymore. I make an effort to greet each Jedi and develop a relationship with him or her. Then, once they have my trust, I do not look for betrayal from them. But if it comes, I do not grieve or berate myself. I simply learn and move on."

"You speak as if other betrayals there have been," Yoda noted.

Obi-Wan sighed, at once seeing the error in his words. "That was not my intention, Master, though it is what escaped my lips. I suppose there is a small part of my mind that awaits betrayal, and yet I am usually able to speak past that voice, because it is irrational and unbefitting a Jedi." He was urged to plead for release from questioning, for a chance to seek after Qui-Gon, but Obi-Wan didn't give in. He couldn't; any sign of being unable to handle himself would only delay the time until he saw Qui-Gon.

"Succeeding in many ways you are," Yoda said. "Fight well you do, against outside and inside monsters. But the monsters still remain. Name the monsters in your mind. Battle them I do not ask you to do now, but name them you must."

Hope lit Obi-Wan's eyes, even though he knew he would have to confront what he named at some time. If he only had to name them now, then maybe this interview would soon be over and he could escape from Coruscant at last. And the monsters wouldn't be hard to name; long hours of meditation had brought them to Obi-Wan's attention. "The first monster, the most powerful, is Xanatos and the shame, fear and loss his memory inspires in me. The second is my own struggling here at the Temple. Even now I dread the loss of my place among the Jedi. The third monster I have confronted and the Force is helping me to tame it. I speak of an all-encompassing need to be at Qui-Gon's side at all times and defend him from all danger." He saw the question in Yoda's eyes and answered, "The Force first told me about the loss of balance between my love for Qui-Gon and my devotion to the Force only six months after Qui-Gon and I fell in love. Since then, I spend time communing with the Force on the renewing of my devotion alone. I do not neglect meditation on the lessons I have learned, but I spend a little time whenever I meditate on contemplation of my partnership with the Force."

Yoda's eyes flickered and Obi-Wan wondered what the Jedi Master was thinking. If must have been something powerful and consuming or else Yoda would not even have allowed that brief change in expression. He didn't' allow himself to dwell on it; let Yoda counsel himself. Obi-Wan knew he wasn't wise enough to even offer a suggestion. _Assuming I even knew what was wrong._

"Content with you the Force is," Yoda answered. "In harmony with it you are." His voice was slightly hoarse with that first word, but it quickly healed. "Only one more question ask I will. Your opinion of Anakin I ask." He held up a cautionary finger. "Separate or in agreement with Qui-Gon this opinion might be; wish I do not to hear Qui-Gon's beliefs from your lips."

Obi-Wan considered in silence for a moment, because cleaving to Qui-Gon's impressions had been what he was planning to do, out of loyalty as well as out of a growing understanding of their truth. "My first impression of Anakin was as another of Master Qui-Gon's strays, like the Gungan we picked up on Naboo. Soon, I began to sense Anakin's strong connection to the Force, to realize the his connection to the Force was deep. It was almost as if the Force changed around him as it never does for others. I know the Force is constant," he added, holding up a hand, "but there is no denying that Anakin has a special connection with it, unlike what has been seen in many years. On our return to the Temple, I began to understand Anakin a little more. He is volatile and quick to jump to the defense of his friends, but he also has an abiding understanding of the rightness of things. He is highly trainable and his heart is in all that he does, which can be both a blessing and a curse. But more a blessing, because he will never run from what he knows must be done." Obi-Wan closed his eyes, sought one clear statement, and found it. "The Force wants Anakin to become a Jedi." It was presumptuous in the extreme to ever say "the Force wants" but Obi-Wan had committed himself to just that. With the Force speaking so clearly in his mind after his long time away, how could he speak anything but what it sent him?

Yoda grunted, but then levitated himself off the bed and stood on the floor. "Send to Naboo a team of three Jedi we will. Help Qui-Gon they will if allows it the Force does." He turned for the door. "Go and meditate on these things I must. When returns Anakin does, his fate decided will be."

Obi-Wan watched the Jedi Master leave and wondered if he had ever seen Yoda so preoccupied with worry. But he cast that aside and thought, _If he's distracted, then I have a better chance of getting out of here. I know I am the one to help Qui-Gon. _

The padawan sat up and smiled when the room didn't spin. Then eh stood. Without looking back, as if he had been given permission to leave, Obi-Wan gathered his boots, his cloak and his lightsaber that Qui-Gon had hidden beneath an extra shirt. He changed, slipped his saber into his belt, gathered his cloak around him and left the room.

No one stopped him or even glanced at him as he exited the hospital wing.

_You must conserve your energy, _the Force whispered to him. _You are not as strong as you appear. You will sleep during the journey to Naboo. Do not try to impede this process._

_I understand._

No one stopped Obi-Wan as he found a speeder, slipped aboard and took off. Again, no one noticed him, as if he was invisible. He knew of cloaking his connection to the Force, but had never known that he himself could be so cloaked.

The moment the ship entered hyperspace, and having programmed it to awaken him five minutes before the ship was to leave that space again, Obi-Wan stretched out on a cot just beyond the cockpit, and fell promptly to sleep.

oOo

As the sun climbed, painting the frozen world pink, death-blue, gold, and poisonous, most frigid green, the clone meditated. He had been waiting for an answer for almost three hours, but the time didn't bother him; he'd waited some six years. (If time really meant anything out here anymore.) He only measured time by the sun and only did so instinctively. He had always been good at the old Jedi tricks. Like all other failed gunslingers of the Republic (a term Qui-Gon had never liked), this exiled man was full of old Jedi tricks.

Abruptly, almost shoving him out of his peaceful meditation with the strength of his arrival, his new Master spoke up in the clone's mind. _Can you sense him?_

So he was asked each time he contacted his master. _Always, Master. Even halfway across the universe I will always sense Qui-Gon Jinn. _At one time, hadn't the two oft hem been deeply connected? True, those days were long-passed, but there was a lingering connection that couldn't be denied.

_Then have faith that you will find him again. When you are strong enough, you will be allowed to follow your feelings to him. There he will be waiting for you, along with his Obi-Wan._

A question- one of the reasons he was meditating, found its way to the surface of the clone's mind. _I want to make Obi-Wan weep, Master. Is that wrong?_

_Why do you want to make him cry? Must he cry in pain or joy or fear, or are his tears enough, no mater their source?_

The clone's murkily in-turned gaze resembled two bits of glass more than anything living. _His tears are like the stars: burning, impossible to own. I long to see them as I once gazed at the stars in the night sky. As I once sought the glowing of your Force. Is this wrong?_

_No, my apprentice, but is this the path you must take to a greater understanding of the Force?_

_If I could but absorb Obi-Wan into myself, he could be my connection to the Force that I need. Please, Master, understand that I will never leave you, nor my path, but Obi-Wan is the light on that path._

_And what of Qui-Gon? He rejected you, but will you cast away such a valuable tool? For you must remember that, disciplined as Obi-Wan is, his connection to the Force is not as strong as his actions would make it seem. Recall the last time you met him, and how he had not even established a mental link with his master._ The master's voice sounded silently in his head; the failed padawan could have never said what it sounded like. Nor could he have identified his master by sight were they to pass in the street. But he would have known his master by the feel of him, by the power of him.

_I will not ignore Qui-Gon, Master. But Obi-Wan will be my key to him as he is my key to the Force. And what Obi-Wan lacked then in connection to the Force he had made up with since that time. He will serve our needs well, my Master. _The clone focused onteh world around him, taking in the gorgeous colors. _Master, I must go. Forgive me._

_You sense something._

Rising, his mind clear and focused (another old Jedi trick) the apprentice stood. _Yes, Master. Food approaches. And something else; a disturbance in the Force that calls to me. It is contaminated by confusion and lust, but it could be of help to us._

_How far away?_

The wind bit at his face, but he felt it not as he salivated and readied his bow. _Closer to you than to me, Master, but if I call to it, it will come to me._

_Then do so. I cannot expose myself just yet._

_Yes, Master. _The lumbering creature wandered past him, not feeling the Dark Force that swirled around him. The cold had seemingly taken everything from this creature: its strength, its eyesight, its wits and instinct. The clone knew his quarry might be diseased, but knew he wouldn't suffer from any illness. His Master protected him.

His master spoke up in his mind again as the man readied a heavy arrow, specially designed to compensate for the high winds. _And Padawan mine?_

The clone smiled, hardening at once. He would always enjoy the affect those words had on him. _Yes, Master? _He let the arrow fly.

_Be careful. I would hate to lose you._

_Yes, Master. _The arrow connected; the beast bellowed to the unsympathetic sky. The failed padawan marched towards his kill, storing his bow and unsheathing his knife. There would be meat this day and all was right with the universe.

oOo

With a part of his mind that wasn't taken up with trying to deactivate the autopilot on the ship he'd inadvertently flown off Naboo, Anakin wondered if all Jedi were as connected as he was to Obi-Wan. He could feel his pretend master's emotions as an echo, almost too dim to be perceived. And yet they were there. He felt, like the distant rumble of falling rock, his master's exhaustion. Slightly stronger than that was the determination to reach Naboo in time.

_I can't really think about him right now, _Anakin decided. _Even if he was supposed ot stay on Coruscant, I guess he's healthy enough now to fly a ship himself._

_He is strong enough to set a ship on autopilot, _a voice whispered in Anakin's mind. _Does that make him strong enough to fight the devil you know is waiting for him on the surface?_

Anakin didn't question if he was hearing the Force or his own mind's worries. He had complete faith in his connection to the Force. Even as he urged R2D2 to work on the autopilot, he thought, _No. And he isn't strong enough. He's tired. He's been hurt. He has a good connection to the Force, but that's all he has now. And it won't be enough against what's waiting on the planet. _

The autopilot disappeared and Anakin cheered. _Now _he and R2D2 could make a difference.

R2D2 beeped at him, demanding an answer to his question.

"No we're not going back. Qui-Gon told me to stay in this cockpit and that's where I'm staying." He turned the ship left and headed into the very heart of the battle.

_You're needed here, _the Force told him. _But Obi-Wan also needs you._

_How can I help both? _But he didn't need the Force to answer; he knew. Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to read the conditions he was flying into. Even if he was hyperspace now, he wasn't ready for what lay ahead.

"R2, keep us on evasive maneuvers. I'll be right back." Anakin didn't even hear the droid's confused beep. _Obi-Wan? Master Obi-Wan, can you hear me? Answer me. It's important. Really important._

A sense of surprise ran down the link as the connection between the two Forcesensitives opened all the way. For a moment, it overwhelmed the exhaustion that dragged at Obi-Wan. _Anakin, where are you?_

_I'm in a ship in orbit. There's a battle here. You need to sneak in. Don't let them see you. Qui-Gon's fighting that Dark Force thing from Tatooine. They're in the hangar, or they were when I left._

_He's a Sith, Anakin. _A pause, then, _I'm coming out of hyperspace. Contact me when you can. _Another pause, and Anakin felt the full weight and, paradoxically, support of Obi-Wan's concern. _Be careful, Padawan mine._

_I will, Master. _Anakin withdrew so that he could sense Obi-Wan but so they couldn't hear each other's thoughts. An instant later, his ship was sent spinning. "We're hit, R2!" Desperate not to crash- _Obi-Wan needs me_- Anakin spotted a place on the huge ship where he could land. _It won't be safe for long, but it'll have to do._

oOo

The Sith from Naboo was after Qui-Gon. And as strong as Qui-Gon was, the Sith was stronger. Obi-Wan knew it and yet refused to let it distract him. On the surface, his mind wanted to give in to fear and dread; Obi-Wan ignored this surface anguish and connected ever more deeply with Force. He didn't even plan what he would do once he found Qui-Gon; the next few moments were all that mattered just then. Qui-Gon had repeated that lesson often enough. _A connection to the Living Force is what I need. _And, on the heels of that, his mental voice absolutely certain, _Without that connection we'll all be lost._

Coming out of hyperspace, Obi-Wan gave control of the ship over to the Force, letting it flow through him and into the controls at his fingertips. Dancing the ship sideways and towards Naboo, Obi-Wan saw the large Trade Federation ship he and Qui-Gon had visited when they presented themselves as ambassadors. And he noticed the small ships that darted here and there. Everyone seemed to be completely ignoring him, Just as they had on Coruscant. Obi-Wan located Naboo's capital city and began his descent, watching for enemy ships as he reached out to the Force once more. _Anakin?_

_I'm here, Master._

_I've entered the planet's atmosphere. As soon as you can get away, follow me down. I may need your help. _His exhaustion, still pressing at him despite his nap, ran between them like a live current. _I'm not alone in this; the Force will keep me on my feet until I have nothing left. But I may need your help. I don't want to put you in danger; this Sith is not to be underestimated, but-_

_But that's why you need me. Why Qui-Gon needs me. I won't let you down, Master. I promise._

The hangar was coming into view and Obi-Wan was startled to realize that he would out of the ship in less than two minutes. _Can you sense Qui-Gon?_

_No. Only you. And the Force._

_I'll try to find him. Follow as soon as you can._

_Yes, Master. _Something again passed between them, but it wasn't an echo of a physical feeling. _You can reach out to me for strength when you need it, _Anakin sent. _The Force says I can help without being next to you._

No such thing had ever been possible, at least not so far as Obi-Wan knew, but if to be open to the Living Force was to trust others and feel a deep connection to them, then he would accept it. _I won't shut you out. Be careful, Padawan._

Anakin grinned; Obi-Wan saw it in his mind. _I'll be all right, Master. Don't' worry about me. I'm a Podrace champion, remember?_

There was no time for reply; Obi-Wan had landed. Focusing every sense on a search for Qui-Gon, he first felt the dark cloud that was the Sith's command of the Force. Then, faint but there, like a candle in the fog, Qui-Gon's presence touched his mind.

Obi-Wan didn't dare contact Qui-Gon, knowing he might distract his lover at a crucial moment. Instead, he thought, keeping his presence shielded from Qui-Gon as well as the Sith, _Hang on, Master. I'm coming._

oOo

Qui-Gon knew almost at once that the Sith was playing with him, retreating, leading him, drawing him on. _But to what end? What does he know that I don't? And how much is that knowledge going to cost me? _And yet, for all the uncertainty, Qui-Gon knew he couldn't just let the Sith escape. _I have to try to defeat him here and now. _He watched the Sith dance in front of him like a candle-flame in a breeze, nearly impossible to fight.

_But not impossible, _Qui-Gon thought as he followed the Sith further into the labyrinth of walkways. _Nothing is impossible when the Force is involved._

The Sith taunted Qui-Gon with his gaze, but the Jedi Master knew better than to give in to such things. He smiled at the Sith's gleaming eyes and kept up his attack.

A disturbance in the Force warned Qui-Gon only an instant before his padawan joined the fray. Obi-Wan's face was a white sheet and his eyes were fever-gems. How could stay on his feet, let alone fight, was a mystery to Qui-Gon.

Only when they fought side-by-side (the Sith didn't seem to care if he was fighting one or two) did Qui-Gon feel Obi-Wan open up to him. And, though Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon heard Anakin's mental voice. The boy was cheering.

_I destroyed the Trade Federation ship! I- _Shock flew down the three-way link. _Obi-Wan, look out!_

The Sith's foot connected with Obi-Wan's chin and the padawan tumbled over the side of the walkway.

Qui-Gon knocked the Sith over the edge, needing to know if Obi-Wan was all right, but also hoping to knock the Sith off-balance. He leapt after his quarry.

Dimly, like someone talking at the end of a long hall, Qui-Gon heard Anakin say, _You can't let him go much further. Don't let Qui-Gon get ahead of you. Something bad is there._

And Obi-Wan's reply, sounding a little closer: _I need the strength you spoke of. Give what you can._

As Qui-Gon engaged the Sith once more, Obi-Wan leapt up to the walkway to join them. The Sith turned and ran.

_Don't go alone! _Anakin and Obi-Wan shouted in Qui-Gon's mind and the master stopped, aware that he had been about to do just that. He waited until Obi-Wan, his skin colored with two unhealthy red blotches, joined him. Then the two of them followed the Sith.

The red force field came down between the two Jedi and their quarry. Qui-Gon realized that he would have been cut off from Obi-Wan if he had followed directly after the Sith. This was the trap the Sith had lain.

_And we've avoided it, but we need to stay together. Only together can we hope to defeat him, _Obi-Wan sent. _And that means all three of us. _He settled himself to wait, to conserve his energy until the field came down. The Sith was pacing on the other side of the field.

_I'm here, _came Anakin's voice_. R2's flying the ship back. I'll be planet-side soon._

_You don't have a weapon, _Qui-Gon said. _It's best if you use your talent to help Obi-Wan._

Anakin's disappointment was obvious. _Okay._

_We mean it, Padawan, _Obi-Wan said. _Stay away from here._

The force field came down and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon leapt, ready to engage the final battle. The Sith was still retreating, drawing them further down the corridor and out into an echoingly-large space.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stayed side-by-side until they had cleared the last place the force field would divide the corridor. Then they split off, flanking the Sith.

Now, at last, the battle was truly engaged. And Qui-Gon knew that indeed the Sith had been playing with him. He had never met so fierce a fighter in all his years. His command of the Force was staggering.

Beside Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan's saber dropped as he momentarily lost the strength to fight. At once, the master covered his padawan, protecting him from the Sith's deadly attack.

_You have to get between them, _Anakin sent. _He'll kill Qui-Gon. I feel it._

_So do I. Give me everything you have. Let your body go limp. _Obi-Wan felt the unrestrained giving of his pretend padawan, and he leapt up, somersaulting over Qui-Gon's head and engaging the Sith at close range, their bodies straining one to another. Neither of the Jedi had gotten this close, and the new intimacy seemed to put the Sith off balance for only an instant.

That instant was all Obi-Wan needed. Taking note of the deep hole in the center of the floor, Obi-Wan kicked out and used the Force to shove his enemy backwards. For an instant, his foe teetered on the edge, then he used his command of the Force and seize Qui-Gon and drag him closer even as the extra weight pulled the Sith forward to safety.

The red, two-ended lightsaber rent the air, seeking to cleave Qui-Gon in two. Obi-Wan's saber caught the Sith's, but not before the red saber found flesh.

Qui-Gon fell, dropping his lightsaber. It rolled away, beyond his reach.

The Sith ignored Qui-Gon and shoved Obi-Wan backwards, forcing him towards the hole. Obi-Wan sensed how close he was and tried to push forward as the Sith had. But when the Sith's foot caught Obi-Wan's wrist, the padawan dropped his lightsaber even as the force of the kick sent him over the edge. Retaining his calm, Obi-Wan flipped in midair and caught the small protrusion. Above him, the Sith smiled and casually kicked Obi-Wan's lightsaber over the side. Obi-Wan watched it disappear. Now he was defenseless.

On the floor, his several hand smoldering beside him, filling Qui-Gon's mind with the smell of burned flesh, the Jedi Master welcomed the stink as he welcomed the pain. Both helped to focus his mind. He heard Anakin's voice in his mind, terror momentarily overcoming his sure connection to the Force.

Turning his head, Qui-Gon saw his lightsaber. He called it to him with the Force and sent, _Anakin, take in a breath and breathe out your fear. Obi-Wan still needs you._

_Master! _Obi-Wan's cry was so full of renewed hope that Qui-Gon smiled.

Anakin's fear faded. _What do I do?_

_When I tell you to, fill Obi-Wan with all the strength you can spare. Padawan mine, use the Force to jump. Have your right hand up and ready. _He sent the image of his lightsaber flying through the air, ready to meet Obi-Wan's waiting hand. _Ready?_

_Now!_

The surge of the Force, sent both by Anakin and by Qui-Gon, made the Sith stagger back a step. He wasn't prepared for Obi-Wan's leap. He never saw the lightsaber Qui-Gon threw. He only saw a blur of green light as Obi-Wan activated the lightsaber and used it to cut a hole through the Sith's black robes and into his chest.

Qui-Gon and Anakin were still pouring their Force into Obi-Wan and thus the Force swirled around the padawan like an intelligently-purposeful sea. A wave crested around Obi-Wan and crashed over the Sith, drowning him and carrying him over the edge of the hole.

He Sith went without a sound or even a flicker of fear.

_He was trained by someone who knows well the teaching of the Jedi, _Obi-Wan thought. Then he fell to his knees as the wave left him drained and exhausted. He put his hands out to break his fall and laid out flat, closing his eyes. He longed to send Anakin and Qui-Gon a message, but his strength was gone.

oOo

Qui-Gon tore at his cloak and managed to rip off a piece big enough to bandage his wrist. There was no blood; the Sith's saber had cauterized the wound. The pain was worse than anything Qui-Gon had ever felt- _At least physically, _he amended as he sat up. He was about to make his way to Obi-Wan's side when the sound of running feet caught his attention and he was in time to see Anakin fly into the room, his eyes alight with worry and triumph.

When the boy had skidded to a half beside Qui-Gon, helping him to his feet, the Jedi Master said, "You didn't stay where you were."

"No, Master." Anakin checked to make sure Qui-Gon could stand on his own, then he knelt beside Obi-Wan. "I thought my connection to Master Obi-Wan would be stronger if I was closer. And it was. I was just at the other end of the hall when you asked me to give everything I had. So I did. I sat down and gave everything." He grinned up at Qui-Gon. "And it was enough! We saved Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan and I saved you."

Qui-Gon shook his head. The boy was missing the point, but was now the time for a lesson in obedience? No. Qui-Gon pulled out his comlink and said, "If anyone can hear me, please respond."

"Hear you I do, Master Qui-Gon, and glad I am to hear your voice. With you young Skywalker and Padawan Obi-Wan are?"

"Yes, Master. The Sith is dead. Obi-Wan is unconscious, but he'll be all right, though I'm not sure I have the strength carry him out of here."

"Coming for you we are. Keep vigilant you must. Escaped ber'Nac has. On Naboo we believe him to be."

o-------------------------------------------------o

tbc…

**A/N:** I guess I'll beg for review here, too. Hey, it worked with Static Shock. Please review if you have even two seconds. And THANK YOU to those that always review.

**Ancient Galaxy:** Thank you. I hope you like this next bit.

**Jaken's Angel:** Thank you for that. I can't take credit for the Yoda-Mace idea, even here in my own house. Another family member thought of it and I was so intrigued that I had to write it. Besides, I'm sure Qui-Gon isn't the only Jedi to ever had broken the rules. 

**Moonjava:** Your warm reviews always make me grin. I was thinking we should name one of our characters Kincaid, after the feared, ghost-sword of Ireland. Maybe when Robin (who isn't Robin anymore) meets Cyborg (who isn't Cyborg, but might still be half-machine or all machine) he calls Cyborg that because Cyborg's made of metal and also because Robin is a little afraid of him.


	9. ObiWan Defenders 2

**A/N: **So, Qui-Gon lived, but there's still a long way to go. Qui-Gon needs help with something, the clone speaks to his Master, Anakin worries about Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan relives a memory.

**Warnings:** references to rape (nothing graphic), sexual innuendo

**For Your Amusement: **Flames will be used to roast ber'Nac for Thanksgiving. A little mashed Xanatos will be served on the side.

Enjoy!

Obi-Wan's Defenders (2)

_No! _the clone screamed in his mind as the man turned away from the Force and settled his ship on Naboo. _No! Listen to me! You have to come _here_. Forget your lust. It will be satisfied later. Use your rage to focus! You can't get everything you want by fighting now! You need to back down and plan! _His lips twisted wryly, thinking of the number of times his former master had said those very words and how many times he had discounted them. _But I never went up against a hopeless situation. I always had a back-up plan. I always had a double agenda. If I didn't accomplish one, I almost always accomplished the other. And this idiot is going to get himself either killed, imprisoned, or exposed. They already know he's dangerous; what does he think he'll win? They'll hear him coming even if they can't feel him. He only has one goal: fuck and kill his whore._

He sighed and shouted at the presence in his mind, trying to get his attention.

_Even when my only goal was to kill Qui-Gon, I sought that goal in the most profitable way. To kill him was never enough. To make him suffer before dying was everything. And I walked away many times with a profit, even if Qui-Gon still continued to draw breath. Because I had two goals, and even when the larger goal was thwarted, I accomplished the other._

_Listen to me, friend! It's not worth it! You won't have a chance to kill Obi-Wan! He's too well defended. He's not the only Jedi wherever you are, and even if he was, he could defeat you in his sleep! Come to me and I'll strengthen you! I'll fill you with purpose! I'll teach you! Just turn around while you still can. Come find me. The Force will show you the way! You know killing Obi-Wan won't give you the satisfaction you long for! Come to me! Let me guide you! Let my master show you the right way to gain power over all you wish to control._

For a moment, he felt nothing but defiance and single-mindedness. Then the man he was trying to reach answered, _I attacked Obi-Wan with the Force and weakened him so badly that he couldn't move for a day. And I don't mean he was stuck in bed. He couldn't twitch a muscle, couldn't lower his mental shields. I can do that to Qui-Gon and the boy he's watching over. It will be easy._

The clone shook his head. _I know Qui-Gon. Even on his death-bed he could fight you, Force against Force. Not so for Obi-Wan, maybe, but true enough for Qui-Gon. I don't know this boy, but children can be strong as adults in the Force. And if this boy has had Qui-Gon for a teacher-_

_You're afraid of Qui-Gon! _the man laughed.

_Listen, _spoke up the voice of the clone's master, absent one moment and completely _there_ the next. _You may kill Obi-Wan, perhaps even Qui-Gon and the child. But you will have none of the satisfaction of breaking Obi-Wan. Isn't that what you want? It can be done; Obi-Wan is not so very strong in his mind. But you won't have the time. Yoda and others are arriving as you debate. Get off Naboo. Follow my apprentice's Force-beacon to his planet. There you will be trained. There you will learn how to get everything you want._

Not stated in the Master's words (but known well to the clone) was the idea that ber'Nac would come to value Obi-Wan less and look to all the potential in the galaxy.

_What is your name, strong one? _the Master asked.

_ber'Nac._

_I am Darth Sidious. Do you want to learn about the Sith? We are the greatest enemies of the Jedi; become one of us._

Again, known by the true apprentice (_especially now if Darth Maul is dead, which is what I sense_) Darth Sidious was telling half-truths because there were always only two Sith: a Master and an Apprentice.

_All right. I'm coming. But I will return and see Obi-Wan lick me clean. _He broke the connection.

The apprentice sighed. _Are you sure he can be used, Master?_

Darth Sidious chuckled in his mind. _Trust me, Padawan mine; he can._

oOo

Qui-Gon looked around and cast his mind out to the Force. He didn't sense anything dark, but ber'Nac had proved before that he could hide himself well within the Force. "Anakin, keep alert. Our battle might not be over."

"I will." Anakin stood protectively over Obi-Wan. He felt the surge in the Light side of the Force a moment before Yoda and Mace appeared, followed by Master Zee. Grinning, the boy relaxed.

Qui-Gon bowed. "Welcome, Masters, to the site of triumph. Anakin destroyed the Trade Federation ship and Obi-Wan felled Darth Maul." It wasn't quite that simple, but Qui-Gon knew that he and his padawan would be expected to give a full report later.

Yoda nodded. "Hmm." He was studying Obi-Wan and suddenly Qui-Gon found himself wondering how Obi-Wan had gotten permission to leave Coruscant.

"Permission he did not have," Yoda said. "Left on his own he did, one hour before the three of us did." The master had been floating above the floor, but he sank down beside Obi-Wan and touched the padawan's forehead. "Though discipline will have to wait, I think." He stepped back and gestured to Zee, who lifted Obi-Wan into his four arms and turned back the way the three Jedi Masters had come. "In a moment along we will be," Yoda said. "Go with you Anakin will. Find the Queen if you can."

Anakin hesitated, but Qui-Gon sent, _I want someone to be there when Obi-Wan wakes up. Will you go?_

The boy was too smart to be completely fooled, knowing that he was being sent away from a potentially important discussion, but he could also sense Qui-Gon's concern for Obi-Wan. Even if the Jedi Master was trying to get rid of him, at least the reason he'd stated was true. Nodding, Anakin fell into step behind Zee and left the room without looking back.

"Much there is to discuss," Yoda began when the three of them were alone. "Address your discounting of the Jedi Code we must. Address what must be done with the boy we also must consider." He glanced at Mace.

"The answer to the second concern depends very much on the first, Qui-Gon, as I'm sure you know. What would you have us do? You have taken a lover, which is strictly against the Jedi Code. Second, and worse, you have taken your own padawan to your bed, perhaps using your influence over him to keep him silent, or at least using his love and respect for you to your own advantage. Finally, you have endangered your padawan's path to Knighthood. How do you plead?"

"It is your right to separate Obi-Wan and I, to question us separately, but that questioning is to take place in front of the Council," Qui-Gon answered. "I hold on to my right to present my case before the entire Council." Even as despair rose within him, Qui-Gon thought, _They still haven't completely decided about Anakin! _But he couldn't be overjoyed; would he gain Anakin only after the Jedi Order lost Obi-Wan? _I will not lose another padawan. I will not lose Obi-Wan._

"Wish to make this less disgracing for you we do," Yoda said. "Speak here we can."

"Master Yoda, if I'm to be sentenced I'd rather face every Council member and hear each say that."

Yoda nodded. "Stubborn you are, Qui-Gon. Defiant you have always been. But this time in danger you have placed Obi-Wan. Understand this you do?"

"Not to love Obi-Wan would be like severing my connection to the Force. I will not regret all that Obi-Wan and I have shared. But yes, I understand that Obi-Wan is in much more danger than I am." And, because he was already in over his head, "Though I have never understood why it should be so, since I am the seasoned Master. Am I not responsible for Obi-Wan?"

"Responsible you are, but Obi-Wan nearly a Knight is. Able to control his own actions he is." Yoda moved back to his floating cushion and gestured. "Come. Waiting for us members of the Senate are."

Qui-Gon followed the two Masters through the halls. He listened to his footsteps, reflecting that he should have heard another set just behind him. Obi-Wan should have been there. Focusing on the present, minding his own oft-repeated lessons, Qui-Gon saw Senator Palpatine and others gathered about the shuttle. He wondered for a moment where Zee had taken Obi-Wan, but then Zee strode down the shuttle's ramp. He nodded to Palpatine and came to stand before Yoda and Mace. He glanced at Qui-Gon and the empathy in his eyes was not lost on the other Jedi.

"Obi-Wan is resting," Zee announced. "Anakin asked to stay with him, and even though I don't think Padawan Obi-Wan will wake up for a few hours, I gave my permission."

Yoda nodded. "Assessed his injuries you did?"

"Beyond exhaustion, he had one pulled muscle in his shoulder." With another glance at Qui-Gon, Zee said, "Anakin informed me Obi-Wan had to catch himself with his arms. Apparently he saved himself from quite a nasty fall."

Qui-Gon didn't answer. He was almost desperate to see Obi-Wan, even though only a few minutes had elapsed. This was so much like Fregala…

"We'll be here at least until the morning," Mace said. "Hopefully Obi-Wan will be awake by then. I am sure the people of Naboo wish to thank him."

Senator Palpatine strode into the middle of the small Jedi group, holding up his hands. "My friends, do not worry about young Kenobi. He will survive; he is strong. Come. The Queen approaches." Assuming they would follow him, he turned to greet Padme as she strode towards the shuttle. "My lady, you have done well!"

Mace and Yoda exchanged a glance. "Attend to Obi-Wan and then you and Anakin will join us," Mace announced, meeting Qui-Gon's gaze, showing that he would brook no argument.

Qui-Gon bowed slightly and left them. In a trice, he was in the shuttle and moving to the small sleeping area near the back. Surely this wasn't the shuttle Senator Palpatine (or rather, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine- Qui-Gon had noted the new robes) had taken to Naboo.

The silence on board the shuttle troubled Qui-Gon, but when he entered the very back of the shuttle, he saw the reason for the silence. Anakin was sitting beside Obi-Wan, his head bowed and his fingers traveling up and down Obi-Wan's arm. He seemed lost in thought. And yet, he couldn't be _too_ lost, for the boy seemed to sense Qui-Gon; his fingers froze for a moment. But then he went back to what he'd been doing without speaking or glancing up.

_He knows I'm not a threat. _Qui-Gon sat beside the narrow cot and touched Obi-Wan's forehead. His padawan seemed to be resting easily, for which Qui-Gon was grateful. _Still, I'll feel better when two things happen: one, we're back at the Temple and when Obi-Wan opens his eyes and smiles at me._ Then, thinking of the hearing the two of them would face when they returned, Qui-Gon decided he would settle for Obi-Wan regaining consciousness.

_What is the Council going to do to you and Obi-Wan?_

Qui-Gon blinked. He hadn't realized that his shields were down. _I don't know yet. There will be a hearing when we return. After Obi-Wan is strong enough, of course._

_You don't think the hearing's going to go well, _Anakin answered. _Has the Council already made up their minds?_

Qui-Gon shielded his thoughts from the intuitive boy. _He's perceptive and quick. If only he'll be allowed to put those qualities to work for the Jedi. _Relaxing his guard, Qui-Gon said, _I don't know what they're thinking, Anakin. I'm concerned, of course, but what will be will be. We'll fight this, Obi-Wan and I, but it's up to the Force._

_Obi-Wan's already given up so much to protect you and to follow the Force at the same time. He doesn't deserve to lose everything he's gained._

Qui-Gon felt Anakin's anger rising and he laid a steadying hand on the boy's shoulder. "Anger will only cloud your mind, Anakin. Let yourself feel the anger, then let it go."

Anakin tried to do as he was asked, and succeeded to some degree. He glanced at Qui-Gon, well aware that he was still holding some of his anger in.

"It's an exercise you'll get better at with time. Every padawan and Jedi Master has something they struggle with. For me, it is a constant connection to the Unifying Force. For you, perhaps it will be a struggle with anger. Rage has been your defense for so long that it won't want to leave the beautiful rooms you've built for it in your mind. But, little by little, you'll be able to turn those rooms into a place rage doesn't want to inhabit."

Anakin frowned. "That's confusing," he answered.

Qui-Gon laughed. "Maybe so, but the more you meditate on it, the more sense it will make. Obi-Wan once felt as you do.He just never said as much."

"Then how did you know?"

A smile lingered on Qui-Gon's face. "Obi-Wan was always easy for me to read. Well, once we'd spent a year or so together. Enemies, and even many other Jedi, had difficulty reading Obi-Wan, but I always could." Then the smile fell away. "We have to go outside. Obi-Wan will be all right for a few minutes. Queen Amidala and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine wish to see us. They'll want to thank you for everything you did for the Republic." He squeezed Anakin's shoulder. "As I want to thank you for everything you did, for the Republic, for Obi-Wan and for me."

Anakin smiled at him, but his expression was troubled and he looked quickly back to Obi-Wan. "I don't want to leave him. I want him to wake up and know he's safe."

"He'll be able to feel us nearby. I don't think we're going that far. We're spending the night on Naboo; Obi-Wan will be moved to comfortable quarters. I'll make sure you and I are nearby." Qui-Gon resisted the urge to glance at Obi-Wan himself, knowing that he, like Anakin, didn't want to leave Obi-Wan so defenseless.

_And we still have no proof that ber'Nac isn't on Naboo._ But before the thought could take root and make other worry-seeds, Qui-Gon sighed and called himself an anxious fool. _I would sense him if he were here. So would Yoda and Mace and Zee. For that matter, so would Anakin. Good as he is at hiding himself, he isn't _that_ good. _The Jedi Master stood. "Come, Anakin. Let's leave Obi-Wan to get some rest."

Anakin hesitated, touched his fingers to Obi-Wan's cheek, and sighed. "All right. I'm coming. But I still think Obi-Wan would be better if we were here."

Qui-Gon started for the front of the shuttle, trusting Anakin to follow him. "Obi-Wan knows the first duty of a Jedi is to follow the Force, but the second is to follow the Jedi Code. And the Code demands that we accept the gratitude of the Naboo. And so we shall." He was exiting the shuttle by that time, and heard Anakin behind him.

A little distance from the shuttle, Queen Amidala- the real one at last- was speaking with Yoda and Mace. But when she caught sight of Qui-Gon and Anakin, her eyes sparkled and she moved towards them, holding out her hands.

Anakin grinned back and relaxed for the first time since leaving Obi-Wan's side. He beamed up at her, forgetting in his child's enthusiasm to bow.

It didn't matter. Padme put her hands on his shoulders and smiled into his eyes. "You saved us, Anakin. You saved many lives." Then she dropped the formality and laughed. "I'm so proud of you."

Anakin blushed and ducked his head in what might have been mistaken for a bow. He wasn't sure what to say, so he settled for staring at his shoes and enjoying the warmth of her hand on his shoulder.

"Will you join us for a light meal?" Padme asked. "You're one of our guests of honor." She turned to Qui-Gon. "As are you, Master Jedi."

Bowing, Qui-Gon smiled. "Thank you, my Queen. If Master Yoda and the other members of the Jedi Council agree, we will join you with gladness."

"They have already accepted," she answered. Then, turning back to Anakin, she touched his shoulder again. "Please, Anakin, will you be my escort?"

Anakin's eyes shone and he took her hand with all the grandeur he could mention. The two fo them started towards the palace.

Qui-Gon noted that the others were gone already, having disappeared into the palace ahead of the Queen. Only her maids waited, and they walked at a discreet distance, giving Anakin the semblance of solely escorting Naboo's Queen. The Jedi Master glanced back at the shuttle, sent a wave of comfort through the Force to Obi-Wan, then turned and strode away.

He called himself a fool as he went, knowing that his concerns were unsubstantiated worries. Hadn't he counseled Obi-Wan countless times against such things? Sighing at himself, thinking how hard it was to follow his own advice when something happened to someone he cared for, Qui-Gon disappeared into the palace.

oOo

As the bottom of the cage and the ground beneath it dropped away, Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon draw him close, sheltering him. _I'm here, Obi-Wan. Be ready._

_Yes, Master. _He prepared himself to land, then looked down into the darkness, waiting to see what he would land on. At first, the darkness was like space without star,s but in the next instant Obi-Wan saw the rocky ground they would be landing on. _There are mines even under Telos' capital city?_

Even though he hadn't directed the question at Qui-Gon, his master answered, _Yes. Prepare yourself._ The older man bent his knees and drew into himself as much as he could. Obi-Wan imitated him.

The second before they hit, a powerful Force-wave struck between them, prying them apart. Qui-Gon was thrown left, Obi-Wan tumbled right. And while Qui-Gon was partially able to control his fall with the Force, Obi-Wan was only able to make his muscles elastic, like shock-absorbers, so he wouldn't break something when he fell. Still, as first his right foot, then his left, then his left hand hit the ground, Ob-Wan's whole body shook with the force of the impact.

The padawan heard a hissing sound and glanced up just as another cage dropped around him, closing him in. At once, Obi-Wan lost all sense of the Force. This cage was just like the one above. Looking across to where his master stood, Obi-Wan saw that Qui-Gon was similarly confined. The older man's eyes gleamed, and he wasn't gazing at his padawan, but at the space between them. Obi-Wan raised his eyes and watched as Xanatos used his command of the Force to float to the bottom of the hole. When his feet touched the uneven ground, lights went on all around the cavern, and the light from the outside world was shut out.

Xanatos strode towards Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan tensed, fearing what the vengeful former padawan would do to his master. Xanatos had tried to blow up the entire planet of Bandomeer in an attempt to not only kill Qui-Gon, but to make the Jedi Master die with the knowledge that he was unable to prevent the deaths of millions of people. In short, Obi-Wan couldn't imagine Xanatos stopping at anything so he could avenged for the imagined wrongs Qui-Gon had bestowed on him. It was on the tip of Obi-Wan's tongue to yell at Xanatos, to start jumping up and down and screaming, to do _something_ that would distract Xanatos from his intended target.

_I will not watch you kill my Master! _Obi-Wan vowed.

Xanatos drew a small, circular device from beneath his cape. Obi-Wan didn't know what it was, but it still made him nervous.

"You will wear this, Qui-Gon. If you don't, I will torture your little whore until he breaks, then I will sell him into slavery. He'll make a good miner, but an even better slut."

_Qui-Gon never gives into threats, _Obi-Wan thought. _He never has and he never will. _Knowing this, Obi-Wan wasn't surprised when Qui-Gon spoke instead of reaching through a narrow gap between the bars to take the circular thing.

"Why do you want me to wear a Force-collar, Xanatos? Don't you trust these fancy cages you've built?"

"The cages stop only your physical use of the Force, as you well-"

"Are you referring to the physical aspect of my relationship with the Force?"

Obi-Wan grinned and resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at Xanatos' back. Qui-Gon had punctured right through Xanatos' words, labeling his word choice- 'use of the Force'- for the Dark Sided thinking it was.

Xanatos ignited his lightsaber. "Interrupt me again and I'll start removing your whore's precious parts before he's had a chance to use them."

Qui-Gon didn't speak.

Xanatos reholstered his lightsaber. "You will wear the collar so you can't talk to the little one over there." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Think of it as a way of protecting yourself from his pain. Don't the Jedi want to always be able to think clearly?"

_We can't talk from here! _Obi-Wan longed to say, but now he was afraid that Xanatos would hurt Qui-Gon if he interrupted. _And he wouldn't believe me anyway. What Padawan can't reach his Master through their bond?_

Qui-Gon took the collar from Xanatos and snapped it around his neck. "And now that you have everything you've ever wanted, what will you do? Will you continue to shame the lightsaber you carry?"

Xanatos smiled. "Always trying to teach me, aren't you? I'm beyond your lessons, your morals and your cajoling." He spun away from Qui-Gon and amrhed towards Obi-Wan. "Watch and see what I do with your whore."

Obi-Wan refused to fall back even a single step as Xanatos approached. Even if he couldn't reach the Force, he still had his courage to hold on to. And his dignity as a Jedi Apprentice, Padawan to Qui-Gon Jinn, one of the most talented and respected Jedi Masters in the Order. _Besides, giving in even a little might make Xanatos decide to do something worse to me, or to Qui-Gon. I will protect my master as much as I can. As long as Xanatos is focused on me, and I don't give him what he wants, he'll spend his time with me trying to get his need filled. If only I knew what he wanted, I could withhold it from him._

But Obi-Wan had learned long ago that many enemies wanted to see fear in their victims before they desired anything else. _And that might be true of Xanatos. I'll play on that until I understand his want._

."You're very calm for a boy who's meeting his heart's desire in the flesh," Xanatos murmured. He stood directly in front of Obi-Wan now. "Aren't you pleased to see me again?"

_What happened to him? _Obi-Wan asked himself, feeling the first licks of uncertainty. Then he marshaled his feelings and met Xanatos' gaze. _What does he want to accomplish by treating me like… _

The words Obi-Wan wanted were "favorite nephew" but since he'd never had relatives, the best he could do was:

…_like a mother bird feeding her baby some treasured bit of fruit? _

Xanatos was smiling now, and he pushed his hand through his hair. "You can't deny your first thought when you saw me."

Obi-Wan blushed and nearly dropped his eyes.

"You thought, 'He's handsome.' I suppose you expected Qui-Gon's former apprentice to be a troll. But he picks us for our good looks as well as our intelligence. Why do you think it always takes him so long to find new padawan?" He sighed and casually took his cape off. The material moved like water and glistened in the dim light. Xanatos' eyes sparkled. "We both know Qui-Gon has very high standards; you just didn't know exactly what those standards were until now."

"Again you fight with words," Qui-Gon said from behind Xanatos. "You're more like a prevaricating Senator than a former apprentice."

Xanatos laughed. "He doesn't want you to know how he thinks, Obi-Wan."

A thought flashed across Obi-Wan's mind and he judged it good enough to be spoken out loud. "Oh, and we're back to my real name, are we? What happened to 'whore' this and 'whore' that? Doesn't serve your purpose? Do you think I'll forget how you talked about me- and to me- just because you've turned on your charm like bringing a lightsaber to life?"

Xanatos' smile faded a little, then came back, ten times as strong. Now there was a touch of sympathy in his eyes. "I understand what he's done to you. He's brainwashed you. I'll teach you the right path."

"That's Yoda's task, and my Master's, not yours." Obi-Wan folded his arms across his chest.

"Oh my poor boy." Xanatos unlocked the cage with a wave of his hand. "Come to me and say that, Obi-Wan. Come to me if you can." He stepped back and held his arms open. "Come and fight me if you dare."

Obi-Wan hesitated. He wasn't afraid, but his partnership with the Force hadn't yet developed to the point where he could call for help in blocking another's Force. _Master, I'm lost. What do I do? _He looked at Qui-Gon, and his Master mouthed a single word: _Wait._

Obi-Wan thought to 'wait' outside the cage, but decided that wasn't really waiting. At least inside the cage, though he couldn't feel the Force, at least Xanatos could only begin his attack from one direction. So he stepped back and relaxed, not closing his eyes, but making sure that his muscles weren't tense.

Xanatos sighed. "Oh Obi-Wan… I see he has taken much more than your virginity from you. He's taken your reasoning mind as well."

"Qui-Gon would never-!" Obi-Wan took a step forward.

"Be mindful of your anger, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, his voice carrying like a trumpet even though his tone was mild.

Xanatos laughed and took a step back. "Come on, Obi-Wan. Face me. I have your lightsaber, and your master's. Fight me for them. You may even win. You may even succeed in killing me." He beckoned and his eyes gleamed. "Come."

_I must stay here. I must be calm. I mustn't give in to his demands… _Obi-Wan felt tension creeping into every muscle and tried to make himself relax.

Xanatos sighed. "So, you will lie down like a lamb and let me kill you?" He twirled his lightsaber casually, then ignited it. "If that is what you desire, to spread your legs for me, so be it." He advanced on Obi-Wan.

oOo

Not far from the Jedi shuttle that had brought Yoda and the others to Naboo, Chancellor Palpatine closed his eyes and smiled. Around him, the finery of Naboo glittered, but he saw none of it. He had begged a moment to freshen up, and had been shown to his chambers so he could do so. But once he was in his room, Palpatine couldn't turn his mind to the dragging ceremonies ahead. His mind was with the injured Padawan who had killed the Sith apprentice. He had picked up the bit of information from Anakin's mind when the boy had strode out of the shuttle behind Qui-Gon. Palpatine had read this thought: _Of course he's tired; he just killed a Sith! _and had left the boy's mind, not wanting Yoda or Mace or Qui-Gon to sense his spying.

My_ apprentice, _Palpatine thought. _The most promising pupil I have seen in all my years of searching. All the others have shriveled beneath my iron hand. But Darth Maul… he was a force to be reckoned with. _The man's lips twitched. _Pardon my pun._ He admitted to himself that he did not really grieve for Maul; he only wished his student had taken down the troublesome Jedi. Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi had become a formidable Master-Padawan team, and all knew it. _To have killed them would have been to strike a blow at Yoda's very heart._

_I was so sure my apprentice would kill Qui-Gon at least. He is not so old for a Jedi, being only sixty when many live into their hundreds, but he is still not so quick as he once was. Something not related to his body draws on him, weakens his spirit. I thought I knew what it was: the death of Tahl, Qui-Gon's prefect friend, the one we were all sure he loved as no Jedi should love. But he still fights, and Maul couldn't kill him, so it must be something else. Qui-Gon still smiles; that's how I know it is not Tahl that burdens his heart. I must know what Qui-Gon loves. Only then, when he is dead, may I turn my attention to the slow and painful slaughter of his padawan._

That was when Palpatine turned his mind to Obi-Wan, alone and injured, in the shuttle. Focusing his mind, he traveled the invisible distance between minds and invaded Obi-Wan's dreams. The apprentice was dreaming of a healing trance, of all things.

Palpatine scowled. _We must change that. Yes we must. _He pushed through the fragile dream, looking for Qui-Gon's secret, or at least something dark with which to torment the killer of Maul.

The level under the trance-dream was filled with images of Anakin and the bright, star padawan he would make. Palpatine likewise shattered these. Underneath, was a sense of following the Force and the joy of hearing the Force speak. The Sith Master laughed. _You think you know so much, weak one. I remember when you were brought to the Temple and no one wanted you. Do not think so highly of yourself. Jedi study for centuries to hear the direct voice of the Force._

The next layer held something interesting, and though it didn't exactly speak of Qui-Gon's secret, the Sith Lord thought this might be part of it: _Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are in love. The Council knows and must decide their fate. But they've had more than three years to deepen their love. Maybe guilt is what gnaws at young Master Jinn._

Then another layer pertaining to the Force, and Palpatine hissed, his lips barely moving, "Do you think of much else, boy? You'll never have power in the Force, so why spend so much of your mind dwelling on it?" He tried to break through this layer, but was stopped. For the first time, Obi-Wan was fighting back. The boy didn't seem to know what he was fighting, but he fought nevertheless.

_Or maybe it doesn't matter what he's fighting; what matters is what he's protecting. _With this in mind, Palpatine called upon his power and attacked Obi-Wan's mind, punching at the barrier over and over. He sensed it bending, stretching, cracking…

The vision that flew out of the paved-over hole in Obi-Wan's confidence swamped Palpatine for a moment, but he quickly found his place in all the feelings of fear, lust, shame and rage. Touching Obi-Wan's mind, making the boy think what he wanted him to think, Palpatine watched the padawan's memory of the encounter with Xanatos on Telos from the beginning.

oOo

Obi-Wan at last understood what Xanatos wanted, and he felt momentarily sick. He battled against the feeling as he left the cage. At once, the Force surged around him and Obi-Wan gave himself to it, letting the Force calm him.

Xanatos swung for the apprentice's head at once. Obi-Wan felt the Force flow about him and he leapt to the left, moving away from the door of the cage so he couldn't be driven back inside. Xanatos followed, his lightsaber glowing balefully, casting a red glow on the former Jedi's face. Obi-Wan continued to circle and retreat. He knew he couldn't win, lacking the ability to call his lightsaber from Xanatos' belt. But maybe he could wear Xanatos down a little. Qui-Gon's former padawan was using very broad, energy-wasting strokes; Obi-Wan hoped to tire the man out.

_Then maybe I can dart in and take our lightsabers. _Obi-Wan circled and retreated and made sure Xanatos never drove him towards one corner of the room or another. He was conscious of Qui-Gon watching him as he moved, and smiled. _I wish I could sense you, Master, but I'm only glad to know you're watching out for me._

Xanatos snarled. "You've been taught only to retreat, coward," he snapped.

Obi-Wan's anger flickered like a flame starting among kindling, but he extinguished it with the living water of the Force and continued his dance.

But Obi-Wan couldn't have lasted forever in the battle, even if he'd had his lightsaber. Xanatos was still a better fighter than the young padawan before him. Xanatos held out his hand and Obi-Wan was thrown against the bars of Qui-Gon's cage. He groaned as his head spun. A Obi-Wan struggled to regain his feet, he felt Qui-Gon's fingertips on his shoulder, and wished that he could use the Force to open Qui-Gon's cage as Xanatos had opened his. But then Xanatos picked him up again. This time, he pulled Obi-Wan to him and put his lightsaber close to the boy's neck.

"I win," the man whispered. He ran his hand down the front of Obi-Wan's trousers, attempting to arouse him. "Do you surrender, or are you going to force me to injure you first?" He kissed Obi-Wan's ear, then breathed, "I'd rather have my whore in one piece, if it's all the same to you." Moving his hand slowly, deliberately, Xanatos used the Force to draw Obi-Wan's trousers down. "You're doing well, my little whore."

Obi-Wan met Qui-Gon's eyes across the short distance that separated them. _Please, Master, help me._

"You're a coward," Qui-Gon said, his eyes locked with Xanatos' own. "If you aren't afraid, let Obi-Wan fight with his lightsaber. Or are you afraid of a young padawan?"

Xanatos laughed. "When I already have what I want, why should I fight for it?" He kissed Obi-Wan's cheek. "But maybe I could gain more cooperation if I changed the rules of our coupling." He pushed Obi-Wan away. The padawan tripped on his trousers and fell. In a moment, he was on his feet again, his face flushed with embarrassment, but his fear released and his connection to the Force strong once more.

The man before him spread his hands. "You have a choice, Obi-Wan. Come to me willingly, or I will have to kill Qui-Gon. I don't want to kill him until he sees you spread your legs before me, but I would rather have you under me almost willingly than have him alive. It will be enough that he dies with the knowledge that you belong to me." Waving his hand, Xanatos made the cage around Qui-Gon lift into the air. But before Qui-Gon could do more than begin his leap, chains like snakes rose from the floor and descended from the ceiling, imprisoning the Jedi. Xanatos strolled over to his victim and laid a hand on Qui-Gon's chest. "I can kill with the Force, Obi-Wan." He sent a Force-pulse through the Jedi Master, and Qui-Gon's lungs refused to work

Obi-Wan saw at once what Xanatos was doing, and he rushed forward. Using all his strength, he shoved Xanatos away from Qui-Gon and stood protectively before his gasping master. "Don't touch him." Obi-Wan had raised his hands as if he was going to fight Xanatos skin to skin.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon began, nudging the boy gently with his shoulder.

"I can just pick you up and throw you across the room again," Xanatos told Obi-Wan. "You can't protect your master without either the Force or your lightsaber. And since you have no connection to the Force, and you are obviously unarmed, I suggest you stint your useless noise. This is your last warning: submit or Qui-Gon dies."

Obi-Wan lowered his fists. "Take me," he said, his voice struggling for calmness. "All you'll have is my body. My soul belongs to the Force."

"Bole to the last. I can see Qui-Gon chose well." Xanatos smiled and held up a hand. "I must bring the bed out. You have two minutes alone with your master. Use them wisely." He swept his cape back onto his shoulders and strode away.

At once, Obi-Wan turned to Qui-Gon. "How do we escape?"

"Close your eyes, Padawan mine."

"We don't have time for that!" Obi-Wan cried. "Just tell me how-"

"You can't help me unless you're calm," Qui-Gon returned, his voice calm, his face serene. It was almost as if they were back at the Temple, safe, and this was just an exercise. "Focus your mind, Obi-Wan."

The apprentice closed his eyes and visualized the Force as a river, flowing around him and through him. His heartbeat slowed even as his thoughts stopped bouncing around like energized atoms. "Yes, Master," he answered.

"Good, Obi-Wan. Keep your eyes closed. Reach up and touch the collar on my neck. You know right where it is."

Obi-Wan obeyed, his fingers brushing against Qui-Gon's shoulder before he found the collar.

"Good, Obi-Wan. Now, focus. Feel the collar beneath your fingers. Feel it become part of you. As you can control your emotions with the help of the Force, you can control the thing under your fingers. Imagine it open, Padawan mine. As you would calm your own mind, separating fear from strength, honor from anger, separate the catch in the collar."

Obi-Wan pictured the connection in the collar being like two sides of the Force, one light, the other dark. Obi-Wan stepped between those two sides and asked the light Force to step away from the dark. For a breath, there was nothing. Then, the light Force surged around him, humming through him. For the first time, Obi-Wan felt his master's Living Force. It was dim, and Obi-Wan understood that was because of the collar. He again asked the light Force to separate itself from the dark.

The light Force began to move.

Rough hands made of dark Force dragged Obi-Wan away from Qui-Gon. As human hands took the place of the Force, Obi-Wan voiced a groan of complaint. _I was so close! It was almost off!_

Fingers stroked him, and then Obi-Wan was turned around. He opened his eyes and met Xanatos' hungry gaze.

"You were so very close, weren't you, Obi-Wan? I'm sorry, but I couldn't allow that." He smiled. "Though I'm proud of you. Who would have thought weak Obi-Wan could actually start to affect the things around him with the Force? You're better han I thought."

"Don't take him, Xanatos. He is only a boy. If you need some way to assuage your lust, I'm here."

Obi-Wan stared at his master. Slowly, he shook his head as he looked back at Xanatos. "I said you have me. Do what you want. I won't struggle." _I won't let you hurt Master Qui-Gon. Nothing you could ever say would convince me to step aside and let you… do whatever you're going to do to me._

"He's too inexperienced to give you the pleasure you seek," Qui-Gon continued as Xanatos urged Obi-Wan to lay on the bed.

As he removed Obi-Wan's boots, Xanatos laughed. "You've never been with anyone either. Obi-Wan, at least, has been touched before. He knows how to spread his legs and how to give himself over to me. You, with your arrogance, don't know anything about submission. Obi-Wan has submitted to two before me." He drew Obi-Wan's trousers and underclothes off and tossed them aside. He gazed at the boy's flaccid member. "I'll change that soon enough. Sit up and take off your tunic."

Here time blurred. Obi-Wan would remember later only snippets of his time beneath Xanatos. And he could only place them in time as "early on," "in the middle," and "close to the end."

Memories that were from "early on" included Qui-Gon's shout: "Xaantos, don't!" and also the first, blinding pain as Xanatos entered him. "In the middle" memories were made of fear, pain and (to Obi-Wan's shame) a touch of lust as he was stroked. For one brief instant, he had given in to the pleasure, and had allowed Xanatos to kiss him. Qui-Gon had fallen silent, and Obi-Wan had wondered if his master could feel his padawan's betrayal, even while wearing the Force collar.

The feeling of Xanatos coming inside him, releasing himself, was faint, but there. Closer at hand was the sound of shattering chains and, an instant later, the hum of a lightsaber. Then Xanatos was rolling away from Obi-Wan, pulling out of him and activating his own weapon. He met Qui-Gon blade to blade.

Obi-Wan caught one glimpse of his master's face. Qui-Gon's eyes were narrowed and his expression was dark with rage. "Master, don't give in to the Dark Side! Please!" Obi-Wan pushed himself to a sitting position, ignoring the terrible pain. "Please, Master, don't go to the Dark Side! I need you! Please, Master Qui-Gon, don't go!"

Xanatos launched a kick at Qui-Gon, but the Jedi rolled. And when he was on his feet again, he was standing beside Obi-Wan. His eyes had cleared and his face was serene once more.

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan whispered. As he watched Qui-Gon spin away again, fighting a naked Xanatos, he made himself stay sitting. Then he saw his clothes and had to drag himself to them. Before Qui-Gon ha finally chased Xanatos off, at least for the time being, Obi-Wan had managed to get dressed. He felt like throwing up because his stomach was twisting beneath his ribs, but he managed to keep what little was in him down.

Qui-Gon crouched down and drew Obi-Wan into his arms, lifting him. He put the boy's lightsaber on his belt and then hugged Obi-Wan close. "Thank you, Padawan mine. You saved me."

Obi-Wan had been picked up once before and help in Qui-Gon's strong arms, and even though that had been nearly four years ago, Obi-Wan remembered how safe he had felt then. Here, too, he knew he was safe. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against Qui-Gon's shoulder.

"We're leaving now, Padawan mine. Just hold on to me." Qui-Gon rested his chin on Obi-Wan's hair for a moment. "You're going to be all right."

"I know, Master." Obi-Wan reached out with his mind again and was rewarded as he felt the strong pulse of Qui-Gon's Living Force. He snuggled into Qui-Gon's arms and thought, _I'll be okay, Master._

And, surprise in his mental tone, Qui-Gon answered, _Padawan mine, you initiated contact between us! _As he strode from the cavernous space, seeking a way out, Qui-Gon added, _I am proud of you, Obi-Wan._

oOo

Palpatine hadn't stayed to hear all of that; he'd been forced to leave while Xanatos was still raping Obi-Wan because there was a knock at his door, and a polite handmaiden was asking him if he was ready to join the feast. If he had, Palpatine wouldn't have felt so pleased with himself.

On board the shuttle, Obi-Wan stirred awake. His body was still mostly drained, but he at once felt the Force around him, and that made his physical weakness easier to bear. He had been filled with fear when he was forced to relive Xanatos' assault, but when he'd remembered Qui-Gon holding him, he had been able to recognize the fear for what it was: a way to the dark Force. At once, he gave himself over to the pulse of the Force and had been calmed.

Now, his mind clear, Obi-Wan focused on healing his body. He knew he would have to be strong for what lay ahead. But his dream had reminded him of one thing: how much Qui-Gon loved him. Even if they were separated, they would always be able to find each other again. There would be a way.

oOo

Anakin stiffened and tuned out the conversation around him. _Obi-Wan? Master, can you hear me? _He could feel Obi-Wan's fear, even from so far away. It had been growing in his mind so slowly that at first Anakin had thought it as something he himself was feeling. By the time he realized he was picking up Obi-Wan's feelings, even from so far away, the dream was almost over and the fear had begun to ebb again. _Master?_

_I'm here, Anakin. _Obi-Wan's fear was disappearing like mist on a hot morning. _I'm all right. I only had a nightmare. Where are you?_

_At a feast. I wish you could be here. It's boring. Qui-Gon has to dance with all these women because of tradition. Master Zee is dancing with two women at once; that's the costume on his planet and they seem to all be having fun. Nobody's asked me to dance yet. _He added, _But I'm glad the Naboo don't sit around and talk while they eat; they eat and dance at the same time._ Another pause. _Was your nightmare every bad?_

_I dreamed of Xanatos, _Obi-Wan answered. _He was Qui-Gon's former padawan, and very dangerous._

_Qui-Gon told me about him on the way here._

Obi-Wan chuckled. _Ah, so he's learned he must be open about the past. Good. At least I taught him one thing amidst all of his teaching. Don't worry about me, Anakin; I'm well. I just need a little more rest. Come visit me if you'd like, when the feast's over. I'd like to hear about Qui-Gon's dancing and I'll tell you a story about the only time he tripped over his own feet._

Anakin grinned. _You could tell me now. Wait. Padme's coming over to see me… She wants me to dance with her._

_Go then, Padawan mine. Enjoy yourself._

_Are you sure you'll be all right?_

_Yes. I won't sleep again, but induce a healing trance._

_Master Obi-Wan?_

_Yes, Padawan Anakin?_

The smile passed between them.

_We just held a whole conversation. You _must_ be stronger._

Obi-Wan laughed. _So we did, Padawan mine. So we did. Go on; dance. I'll see you soon._

_Yes, Master. Go into your healing trance before you fall asleep again._

Chuckling, Obi-Wan did just that. And when Anakin was sure that his master was safely and securing in the process of healing himself, he turned his mind to the steps Padme was trying to teach him, letting the comforting feeling of Obi-Wan's serenity hum in the back of his mind.

o----------------------------------------------------o

tbe

**A/N:** I'm not sure how safe it is to post answers to reviews, since I've heard rumors. I'll post these this time. If you'd like an answer to your comments- and I LOVE answering them!- make sure to leave either a signed review or your email.

**Any guesses as to who the clone is? One free night with the Jedi of your choice if you get it right!**

**Rieyeuxs:** Thank you for your warm praise. And don't worry- I'm not worried about the subject matter bothering some people- that's why I posted the warnings. I should really remember to do that every chapter.

**GSFE:** I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It's a lot of fun to write.

**Jaken's Angel:** Well, just because Qui-Gon lived doesn't mean they'll raise the child together… Or that either of them with raise it. I'm not sure what's going to happen yet. But at least now it's possible.

**Phoenix Red Lion:** I got some ideas on how to describe the Force by reading "The Unchosen" which is on this site. It's an amazing story. If you love Qui-Gon, you'll love that story. As to the cliffhangers: they're not intentional, for the most part.

**YuYuChan:** Figuring out how Qui-Gon might live was one of the hardest things I've ever written. I'm glad you liked it.

**Lyz:** Thank you. I'm glad he didn't die, too.


	10. The Two Halves of the Light Force

The Two Halves of the Light Force

Alone in their temporary quarters late that night, Qui-Gon tended his wrist. The pain wasn't bad; he could work around it. He'd forgotten his injury in his concern for Obi-Wan, then his dealings with Yoda and Mace. Qui-Gon felt a rush of guilt as he thought of how he'd reacted to both Jedi Masters. _It was like I was facing enemies with nothing but my will. They are not my enemies, nor have they ever been. But that's exactly how they felt tonight. Because they're standing between Obi-Wan and I, between us and our happiness._

He sighed and glanced down at his wrist, which lay in a thick bacta solution. _All I've lost so far is my left hand. That's replaceable. I didn't lose my padawan, nor did I lose Anakin. There is still time for things to be made right. And even if I can't see how that can happen, it can still be. The Force is wiser than I will ever be. _

He closed his eyes, thinking to induce a healing trance. But a disturbance in the Force alerted him to the approach of several Force-sensitive beings. They weren't necessarily dangerous, but Qui-Gon stood, ready to meet them. He had removed his wrist from the bacta and felt it throb in protest. He put the pain out of his mind for the moment.

The chimes on his door rang softly and he answered, "Come in."

The doors breezed aside and Yoda led the way into Qui-Gon's chambers. Behind him walked Mace, Zee and Anakin. The boy looked asleep on his feet, but also determined to be present. After the doors had closed, it was Anakin who spoke first.

"They're bringing Obi-Wan in a few minutes. Master Zee and some medics are checking him one more time before he's moved."

"Hmmm," Yoda said. "Delivered your message you have, young one. Leave you can."

Anakin moved closer to Qui-Gon. "Can I stay?" He was looking at Qui-Gon's wrist.

"Sit down, Qui-Gon," Mace said quietly. "This isn't a trial."

Qui-Gon sank gracefully onto the couch and laid his wrist back in the bacta. "I don't mind if Anakin stays," he said.

"Mind I do not," Yoda said. "But very tired he is."

"I can stay awake for this," Anakin announced, sitting down next to Qui-Gon. "I won't go to sleep until I'm sure Obi-Wan's settled in, anyway."

"Care about Padawan Obi-Wan very deeply you do." Yoda made his way to Qui-Gon's side. He touched the Jedi's arm, measuring his progress. "Nearly healed you are. Concealed your wound from us you should not have."

"I was worried about Obi-Wan and didn't want a small injury to get in the way of his care," Qui-Gon answered. "I didn't mask my wound with the Force."

"But kept your mind guarded you did, all through the feast. Becoming more and more rebellious you are, Qui-Gon. Trouble ahead I see for you. Teaching your padawan to disregard rules you are. Taken many risks you always have, but stepping close to the Dark Side you have in recent months. Not of your disobedience of standing laws do I speak, but of your relationship with the Force. Dangerously unbalanced your bonds with the Unifying Force and the Living Force are. Speak your lesson about these aspects of the Force I ask you to."

Anakin moved closer to Qui-Gon, lending his silent support.

Qui-Gon felt the Force ebb and flow around him, connecting him to Anakin, to Yoda, to Mace. "The Living Force connects all physical things- rocks, trees, water, animals, people. The Unifying Force links all thoughts and deeds, past, present and future. The Living Force speaks of now while the Unifying Force speaks of the hidden things in time and in space." He wondered how recently he had thought of the Unifying Force as more than a distraction, as more than something that kept his padawan thinking about the future, sometimes chasing vague feelings.

His skin felt cold. _The answer to he first is 'not often enough' and the answer to the second is 'far too often.' Have I fallen so far? _

_Yes. I have._

_And is it because of my relationship with Obi-Wan as my lover, or did it begin when he was younger, when I first noticed his propensity for sensing things about the future? Or was it even before that, when my pride led me to try and prove my instisncst about Xanatos?_

Icy fingers snaked into his flesh, burrowing all the way to the bone and feasting there on his pride and the very imbalance Yoda spoke of. _I am an addict, like those who buy death-sticks. Nothing but the Living Force mattered for many years. Nothing else matters now- even my love for Obi-Wan and my hopes for the boy are extensions of the Living Force._

A memory surfaced. He and Obi-Wan were fleeing the flooding cave on New Apsolon where Tahl had been tortured for almost five days. As Qui-Gon cradled her against his chest, all he felt was her fading connection to the Force and his own determination that she would not die. _I couldn't feel the Unifying Force then; even if I'd tried to, I might have been barred from touching it._

Everything ached. _I had only just bound myself to Obi-Wan three months ago, after he narrowly escaped death. I flaunted the Unifying Force in both instances, sure that my strength- physical and emotional- could keep them both alive, in spite of the Unifying Force._

Gradually, the cold receded, leaving him shivering, but at least alive and able to warm himself, though slowly. Turning his eyes on Yoda, he said, "Yes, I have lost my balance. Thank you for helping me to see that, Master."

Yoda nodded and placed a hand on Qui-Gon's arm. "Always a quick study you were, Qui-Gon. Found your mistakes quickly you usually did. Took longer this one did, but unsure of the reason for that I am. As are you, I sense." He held up a hand. "Here to accuse you I am not, Qui-Gon. Here to explain things I am. Here to explain the reason for the rules of the Code I am. Know them you do, but put into a new light it will not hurt for them to be."

"I understand the reason for one, at least, Master."

"Hmmm." Yoda settled himself on a nearby footstool. "What rule do you speak of?"

"I know now why the Jedi are not supposed to love." Qui-Gon's lips twitched. _It's like a bantha was sleeping in my bed: how could I have missed it? _"To love is to be deeply connected to the Living Force, to the exclusion of all else. This is especially dangerous because, at first, it seems as if your connection the Force is only deepening, strengthening, with love.

"But, Master Yoda, I still believe that particular rule is more cautionary than strict. Love can still exist between two Jedi, or between a Jedi and another, but the love has to be balanced not with the Force but within the Force."

"Master Obi-Wan knows how to balance it," Anakin said. "He explained it to us."

Yoda was silent for a moment. "Speak to Obi-Wan when he recovers we will." He turned towards the door. "Rise you will not, Qui-Gon. Finish healing your injury must. A new hand you will be given when return to the Temple we do." Then, just as the door chimed, Yoda called, "Enter."

The doors parted and Obi-Wan was carried in on a stretcher. His eyes were open, and Qui-Gon was relieved to see the passion returning to Obi-Wan's gaze. The medics moved him from the stretcher to a sleep couch, ensured that he was comfortable, then left.

Anakin ran to Obi-Wan's side and took his hand. "Master?"

"Padawan mine," Obi-Wan answered. His voice was a whisper, but at least he could speak. He smiled. "How was your dance with Queen Amidala?"

"Perfect," Anakin answered. "She taught me six different dances: four fast and two slow." But the boy's smile fell away and he turned to face Yoda, Mace and Zee, who were helping Qui-Gon (and his bacta) to move to a seat beside Obi-Wan. "Can you tell me what ber'Nac did to him? I don't understand."

"The Force can heal, Anakin," Zee said when it became apparent that the other two masters were busy helping Qui-Gon get settled. "When the Force helps a Jedi to heal, that Jedi enters into a deeper partnership with the Force. But the Force can also be used to injure. At such times, the Force becomes a half-tame beast that, once released, may or may not be called back. It can be driven back by the Light Force, but it can easily kill its victims. Obi-Wan was injured physically and metaphysically."

Anakin frowned.

"When I was attacked metaphysically, Anakin, my connection to the Force was cut," Obi-Wan said. "That's why I couldn't reach out to you, why I couldn't ask the Force to help me heal." He smiled wanly. "I can finally feel the Force again, and my rate of recovery will increase. But for a while, I had no help except time, which weakened ber'Nac's control as it passed." He closed his eyes and lay still, his chest rising and falling only the slightest bit.

Qui-Gon laid his good hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "And that little speech cost him every bit of his accumulated strength." He shook his head. "Sleep, Padawan mine. There will be time for further talk in the morning."

In moments, Obi-Wan was fast asleep.

Anakin drew a blanket over the padawan and then yawned.

"Time for you to sleep as well it is," Yoda said. "Discovered much this evening we have. More questions to answer there are, but progress made today there has been." He turned to Mace and Zee. "And now sleep we will, as well, I think" He glanced over his shoulder one more time. "Need help getting to your couch you do, Qui-Gon?"

The Jedi master hesitated. On the one hand, yes, he desperately needed the help. But his pride… _I think I've given pride enough offerings lately, thank you. _"I wouldn't say no to a little assistance."

oOo

Yoda curled up in Mace's arms and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Much learned there has been. The source of Qui-Gon's imbalance his love with Obi-Wan was not, though increased the imbalance their love did." He yawned. "But work on it Qui-Gon will now that identified it he has. Want an imbalance in the Force he does not. Sought the Dark Side he never has."

"Except when Tahl died," Mace noted. "Only her call to him- impossible though it may be- and Obi-Wan's unflinching support saved him. I'm afraid that if Obi-Wan died, there would be no way to bring Qui-Gon back." There was a beat of silence. Then, laying his chin on the top of Yoda's head, Mace said, "I have sinned against the Jedi Council."

Yoda pulled away and sat up. "Explain that you must." His eyes flashed in the dimness of their room.

Mace met his husband's gaze. "I was more worried about Qui-Gon than Obi-Wan. I was perfectly willing to lose Obi-Wan if we could keep Qui-Gon. I know my behavior didn't show it, especially when I accused Qui-Gon of using his influence to get Obi-Wan in bed with him, but that was my goal."

"Always apparent this was," Yoda answered. "Hoped, I did, that see it you would." He smiled sadly and slipped back under Mace's chin. "Sinned against the Code I tried to as well. Sought to protect Obi-Wan from all attacks by the Dark Side I did. Saw Qui-Gon's advances as akin to ber'Nac's I did."

Mace's arms tightened around Yoda. "You knew?"

Yoda sighed. "Consciously suspected I have for a year now. Subconsciously… perhaps much longer."

"You were right not to say anything."

"Perhaps. Even if wrong I was, change the past we cannot. But this remains: saw Qui-Gon's advances as a threat to Obi-Wan I did. Now not so sure I am. Loves him Obi-Wan does, but convince me that does not. Qui-Gon loves Obi-Wan. This now apparent is." He snuggled closer to Mace. "Meditate before sleep we should."

Mace nodded. "We need to ask guidance from the Force." He kissed the top of Yoda's head gently. "Yoda, if we're both being tempted by our own feelings instead of being led by the Force, what does that mean about our connection to the Force?"

"Tentative it may become if stop its receding we do not." Yoda sighed again and a slow, deep shudder passed through him.

"You know how to stop it but don't want to go that way," Mace said, hugging Yoda against him, rubbing his back.

"Anakin bring balance back to the Force will. In him our hopes for the future must be. But much danger I see in his path. Fear as well as anger. Unsure his future is."

"Can we afford not to take him back?"

"Hmmm. Afford anything we can. Lose the Force do we wish to? A choice it is."

The man didn't press. Everything they needed to discuss would be better left alone until morning. He took Yoda's hand. "We should meditate now."

Yoda nodded. "Agreed." They sat up on either side of the bed, closed their eyes, and began to sink into themselves and reach out to the Force. But before they could get very far: _Mace?_

_Yes?_

_Love you I do. Patient and wonderful and caring you are, even when in need of help you are. Love you I do._

_I love you, too, Yoda._

Yoda smiled in their minds. Now_ meditate we must._

oOo

_Obi-Wan?_

It was an hour before dawn.

_Master?_

Anakin was fast asleep on the couch near Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon lay close at hand, his eyes open but turned inward as he centered on his padawan's presence.

_Are you awake?_

_Yes, Master. _A wry smile.

_You were crying out in your sleep. I'm not sure if it was aloud, but I heard you._

_If I never dream of Xanatos again, it will be too soon._ Obi-Wan sighed. _I dreamed of him late yesterday, but that wasn't so bad; it was a memory, and so it ended well because you picked me up and held me at the end. _He blushed, a trace of his embarrassment carrying across the link. _But this dream… He kept coming. He pushed you to the Dark Side, killed Anakin and took me to the Sith Lord. _Obi-Wan shivered. _And on top of all that…_

_What happened, Obi mine?_

_I… I wanted to be there. A part of me hoped I could find and rescue you, but much of my mind was taken up by anger for what the Dark Side had done to Anakin. And what wasn't take up by anger and worry… quite a bit of my mind, actually… was filled with lust. The Sith Lord wanted to bed me; I wanted it, too. _He shivered harder. _Not to save you, not to make him pay for Anakin's death, but because he made me excited. I know dreams are just dreams, that they don't have to mean anything, but why would I even dream something like that? Have I… Have I played the part of a whore for too long? Have I given in even though I kept telling myself not to give more than my body to Xanatos, to ber'Nac? Xanatos was so long ago… How can I still be dreaming of him? I thought I had healed, and yet here I am again, practically back where I started when we returned to the Temple after Xanatos... you know._

_You can speak of his death, Obi mine. It does not draw on me as it once did._ He sat up and Obi-Wan turned his head, meeting his gaze across the short distance. _May I hold you?_

_How is your wrist?_

_Healed. It has lain in bacta for the best part of six hours._

_If you don't mind… _Obi-Wan made room on his sleep couch.

_I never mind, Obi mine. _In less time than it takes to tell, Qui-Gon was sinking onto the couch beside his lover and drawing Obi-Wan close. _Obi mine, you are almost panicked. Stop for a moment. Reach out to the Force. _He nodded to himself as Obi-Wan obeyed, his heart beat slowing. _You are still dreaming of Xanatos perhaps because of your injuries. Or perhaps it is because we fought the Sith, an ancient evil that we thought had been wiped out. Whichever it is, I can tell you what it is not. You are not having the dreams because you lack in dedication to the Light Side of the Force. You are not having the dreams because you are failing in meditation, in your thoughts or in your general practice of being a Jedi. Your emotions may have something to do with these dreams; being paralyzed by ber'Nac must have tested your faith in the Force and in yourself. But you long ago learned how to channel your feelings, let them direct you thorough the Force instead of away from the Force. Have faith in your own abilities._

Obi-Wan nodded, his mind suddenly focused. _Besides, we have other things to worry about this morning._ He made as if to sit up, but Qui-Gon forestalled him.

_Padawan, I have something to tell you. _Quickly, calmly as he could, Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan of his own failing in regards to the Force. A few things had resolved themselves in Qui-Gon's mind as he slept, among them the decision that he could, with meditation and more talks with Yoda, still love Obi-Wan without falling to the Dark Side. Now all he had to do was convince Yoda that the laws of the Code had been written to keep a Jedi on the right path, but that he could walk the straight way with help. He must convince the Council that Obi-Wan was part of that help, that they must not punish his padawan who had, after all, stayed closer to the heart of the Light Force than Qui-Gon himself. _I will convince them. I will not let them take Obi-Wan from me. He has kept to the heart of the Code beautifully; he must not be punished for that._

Obi-Wan sat perfectly still for several moments while the sky lightened outside and the first birds began to sing. "I didn't realize you had such an imbalance. I am sorry I didn't feel it, Master." He glanced up at Qui-Gon. "I always thought I had too much of the Unifying Force in me, that I should lessen it until it matched yours." His smile was rueful. "But I couldn't give it up."

Qui-Gon chuckled. "The wiser man is you, Obi-Wan. In that, at least." He kissed the corner of Obi-Wan's mouth. "If each of us steps towards the other, you increasing your dependence on the Living Force and I concentrating on the Unifying Force, we will both find balance." He paused for a moment, then added, "And you know that relying on the Living Force a little more won't make you a lost-kitten collector like your Master, right? You know that you will feel a deeper connection to everything, but this will help you, not turn you into something you are not. The Force never changes our views from one side of the universe to the other; the Force simply finds our best qualities and sharpens them."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, but Qui-Gon could sense his relief. Seeing that he was found out, Obi-Wan added, "I have always been a little nervous about trusting other beings, maybe because of what happened to me at Temple, but more likely because I thought…." He blushed. "Well, I thought…"

"You thought you would become just like me, a half-crazed mother hen running about the galaxy, dismissing laws right and left just to help a little chick. True?"

"I wouldn't say _half-crazed_, Master. More like three quarters."

Qui-Gon swatted Obi-Wan's shoulder. "You're growing quite brazen, Padawan mine. Do I take it, then, that you will try accessing the Living Force more often just as I will make more contact with the Unifying Force?"

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan slipped off the couch and stood. "I need to get cleaned up. I feel filthy." He stripped off his tunic. "You didn't by any chance being extra clothes, did you?"

"I'm sure we can find something," Qui-Gon answered. "Take it slowly, though, Obi mine. You are not yet fully recovered."

"I know it well." Obi-Wan headed for the 'fresher. "I'll be out in ten minutes."

oOo

Anakin awoke to an empty room and a dark, hovering mass, more like a floating steam trunk than a light cloud, in his mind. He moved from laying down to standing in one fluid motion. Glancing around quickly, he confirmed he was the only one in the room, then reached out to the Force. He sensed Obi-Wan after a moment; the padawan was refreshing himself in the bathroom. Qui-Gon, though… Where had he gone? Anakin glimpsed the bacta solution standing by Qui-Gon's sleep couch and hoped the Jedi Master hadn't been taken in the night to have his hand replaced. He shouldn't have to go through something like that alone. _But that's what the Jedi do; face things alone when they have to. _

The mass took on form. It was a giant ladder made of dark wood. Each step was wide enough for a man to lay down on it. And on each step were heavy boxes, some decorated in lurid colors, others simply brown or black. After gazing at it for a long moment, Anakin realized that he was looking at it from below. More; he was holding up his loaded ladder and it was heavier than anything he'd ever lifted in his mind. He couldn't understand what it was, but he knew one thing: he could not hold it forever alone. Reaching out, he called, _Master Obi-Wan?_

Obi-Wan's presence in his mind made two of the boxes above him disappear. Confused and nervous- Anakin prided himself that he was never truly frightened- he tried to forget the strange image. It faded slightly, but refused to leave just yet.

_Good morning, Anakin. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?_

Anakin shook his head. _You can feel everything I feel, can't you?_

_That will be the case until you learn how to build shields for yourself._

_But if you can feel everything, don't you know what's wrong? _The ladder grew taller and Anakin groaned.

_I connect to your surface impressions, nothing more. It's like taking a shallow sounding in a deep well._

_That's confusing, _Anakin told him as the ladder moaned and swayed.

Obi-Wan chuckled, but there was a tense edge under the sound. _I'm starting to sound more and more like Qui-Gon. Anakin, what-?_

_Where_'s_ Master Qui-Gon? He didn't go to have his hand worked on, did he? The Council didn't arrest him, did they?_

_He's gone to hunt up some clothes for me. He should be back soon. And we're still on Naboo, Anakin; we won't meet with the Council until we're back on Coruscant. _A pause, then, _Master Yoda spoke differently last night. I have hope for all our futures that I didn't have before… Anakin, may I come fully into your mind?_

The boy hesitated. _I'm ashamed of my fear._

_Shame is part of the Dark Side, Anakin, as is fear. Please let me help you._

_I can't stop you from coming in, so why bother asking? _Anakin hated himself for how bitter he sounded, but the ladder above him was becoming more than he could handle. He felt half-crushed already.

Anakin sensed Obi-Wan's hesitation, sensed him weighing his words before he sent, _Entering your mind without permission is the equivalent of rape. I would never do that._

And, behind the hesitation, Anakin felt how much he had hurt his Master. Another box was added above him and he said, "Please help me."

At once, Obi-Wan was in his mind; Anakin could see him. As the image of the ladder sharpened, so did Obi-Wan's presence. The padawan shouldered much of the burden, then looked up at it. _What's this?_

Anakin winced. _I'm not sure. I woke up and it was here. I thought it was just a bad felling at first, but it's… I can feel it now, physically._

_So can I. _Obi-Wan reached up and removed a box, balancing the ladder on his shoulders. _What's in here?_

_I have no idea. _Anakin shivered. _But I'm not sure I want to find out. What if it's something bad?_

Obi-Wan turned the box in his hands. _It's heavy. _He looked at Anakin. _But anything that's in these boxes is in your mind already. So if something dangerous is here-_

_I'm already in danger. _Anakin nodded. He moved half a step closer to Obi-Wan. _Open it._

The padawan did, bracing himself for a howling wind or a clawing beast or something of that nature. Instead, nothing flew out and he glanced down into the box. The boy of a deformed something lay at the bottom of the box, shriveled and pale as a fish that has never seen daylight. Obi-Wan didn't remove it, but urged Anakin to look at it. _What is this, padawan mine? _

Anakin took in the light brown tunic and the darker brown of the robe. _It's a Jedi._ He shivered hard and the ladder whined in protest. _It's you. You as… as ber'Nac was going to leave you. As the Sith was going to leave you. Qui-Gon and I weren't in time to save you and you look like this…_

Obi-Wan balanced the box in one hand and took out the ailing Jedi with the other. He could see the similarities between himself and the dying man in Anakin's box, but he refused to let it frighten him. _I could never be like this, Anakin, because even if I died I would die in the Force. My life energy would still exist._

_But your body… And we can't keep our energy together once we die, right?_

_Believe me when I say this, Padawan mine: our bodies should always be treated with respect, because they're the only ones we get in a lifetime. But the Force is to be treated with reverence. When I die, it will be serving the Force. _He cast the box aside and turned the feather-light body in his arms. Focusing on the face before him, he filled it with the hope of the Force, of the continuing mission of the Force to work through people and change the universe for the better. Soon, he was gazing at his own face, pale in death, but resolute. The body gained weight in his arms and Obi-Wan turned to Anakin, whose eyes were wide. _This is how I will be when I die, Anakin. Maybe not so young, but my expression will be the same. I will die serving the Force and so I will be content._

_Master, I never thought… Then to be a Jedi is to be ready for death when it comes, not seeking it, but ready for it?_

_Yes, Anakin._

Anakin nodded and watched as the body of his master and the box it had been in disappeared. Above him, xix other boxes vanished.

_Did my death weigh so heavily on you, Padawan mine?_

_Yes, Master. I didn't know what it was like to fear for someone's death until I saw what ber'Nac did to you._ He added after a moment, _My mother and I could always be killed and no one would care, but we lived with that every day. I've never seen anyone as close to death as you were. I couldn't even feel the Force around you._

_Acknowledge your fear, draw it into yourself, then breathe it out. Fear is a path to the Dark Side, Anakin, but it is a path you can turn from the instant you see it before your feet._

_Will you and Qui-Gon ever get tired of telling me that?_

_No, but you'll soon get tired of hearing it and tell it to yourself. Soon you will notice unease before it turns to fear and set yourself on the right path._ Obi-Wan gazed up at he remaining boxes. _Should we continue?_

_I feel a lot better now, but I guess we shouldn't just leave all my fears up there._

_Not all will be so easily dismissed, _Obi-Wan said. _Some must be noted, then tended to over time through talking, meditation and the natural changes that will happen to you over time._

_I understand. And I'm ready._

oOo

"How long have they been like this?" Mace asked, gazing at Obi-Wan, who was leaning against the 'fresher wall, his eyes open but blind. He wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, but didn't seem to be cold. Sometimes his lips moved, but mostly he was still. In the other room, Anakin stood by his sleep couch, his eyes just the same. His lips moved a little more because he wasn't used to talking in his mind, but the resto f his body was just as still as Obi-Wan's.

"It's been ten minutes since I found them this way," Qui-Gon answered. "Neither of them seems to be in danger, and they are talking, so I didn't want to interrupt. But Obi-Wan should have sensed my presence."

"Maybe he is, and just not acknowledging it." Mace frowned. "Though you'd think he would have moved or said something when I came in." Turning away slightly, he said, "There is only a sense of the Light Force here, but they can't stay like this much longer. Obi-Wan isn't strong enough for one; he'll get cold, for another. I don't want to disturb them, but maybe it's time. They've had over ten minutes."

"Some lessons take hours." Qui-Gon turned his eyes back to Obi-Wan. "But I agree; they can do this later, I think." He stepped into the 'fresher, then glanced back at Mace. "Maybe I should awaken him alone."

Mace smiled, reminded suddenly of the first time he'd surprised Yoda, naked, in a refresher. "I'll be out here with Anakin."

When he was alone, Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan's arm and spoke softly. "Obi-Wan? Can you hear me?"

At once, Obi-Wan's eyes focused. "I've been aware of you since you came in. But Anakin and I had much to discuss." He was silent for a moment, then smiled. "Anakin says he sensed you before you entered our quarters but that he wanted to finish what we started."

"And did you?" Qui-Gon wrapped a towel around Obi-Wan's shoulders.

"For now." Obi-Wan began to rub himself dry. He gestured with his chin at the bundle of clothes under Qui-Gon's arm. "Are those for me?"

"They are, unless you want to pose naked for Master Mace again?"

Obi-Wan blushed and snatched the clothes from his lover. "It took all my concentration not to interrupt my work with Anakin so I could cover myself."

Qui-Gon laughed as he hugged Obi-Wan against him for a moment. "Indeed."

Obi-Wan whispered, all humor gone from his voice for a the moment, "I need to find time to tell you something."

"What better time than the present?" Qui-Gon stepped back and put his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders.

"I want to give you the time to react to this in private."

"Obi-Wan, I am a Jedi Knight. I think I can be trusted to keep something to myself until I have processed it."

Obi-Wan frowned, then stepped back and slipped his tunic over his head. "Okay, but remember: you asked." He met Qui-Gon's gaze as he worked to get his trousers on. _I'm pregnant._

Qui-Gon winced and sucked in his breath. _Obi-Wan… Obi-Wan, are you sure?_

_Positive. _Obi-Wan couldn't resist the grin that leapt to his lips. _If you are the typical example of a stolid Jedi Knight, perhaps I should learn from another padawan how to hide my reactions._

_Obi-Wan…._

_Qui-Gon… _The padawan's grin broadened. _Do not be angry with me, Master, but you have to admit that you overstepped yourself a little this time._

_I was not expecting to hear those two words! _Qui-Gon closed his eyes to compose himself as Obi-Wan donned the rest of his clothes. At last, the Master opened his eyes again. _How do you feel?_

_Tired beyond measure and craving foods I haven't wanted in years. _His laughed echoed in their minds. _And you, my Master? How are _you_ feelings?_

_Insolent whelp. I am well, thank you. _Qui-Gon focused on Obi-Wan's face, taking in his pallor and the way he leaned against the wall. "Enough of this. You need to sit down and I'll see about breakfast for the three of us. I'm sure Master Mace has better things to do than wait for us." He led the way into the living room. Anakin sat alone on his sleep couch, but he jumped up when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan entered. "Did Master Mace leave?" Qui-Gon asked.

Anakin nodded. "He said to be ready in an hour for breakfast with the Queen." Then he saw how pale Obi-Wan was and added, "He said if Obi-Wan wasn't strong enough, he could stay here and food would be brought to him."

Obi-Wan made it to Anakin's sleep couch unaided and sank to the cushions with his usual grace. "Perhaps if I rest for a little while, I will have the strength to see her Highness. It would be an honor to eat with her."

"Do you need something before then, Obi mine?" Qui-Gon asked, dropping a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"Water would be a blessing."

As Qui-Gon left the room, he heard Anakin say, "Our talk weakened you again. You've lost all the strength you had this morning."

"It wasn't only our talk, Anakin, and we needed to talk. I'll be all right if I can rest."

"I'll only ask one more question, then. What else is it?"

A moment of silence. "I'm pregnant, Padawan mine. Some of the men on my planet are just as likely to get pregnant as women."

Anakin seemed to take this in stride; Qui-Gon was amazed by how quickly he came back with, "Is it Qui-Gon's or ber'Nac's?"

"Qui-Gon's. I'd say I'm about four months pregnant. My first mistake with ber'Nac happened less than two months ago."

"How do you know how long you've been pregnant?"

Obi-Wan chuckled. "I can sense it. And didn't you promise to only ask one question?"

"That was before you said you're carrying a baby. What will happen to it? Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"The answer to both questions is: I don't know. And before you ask anything else, I must rest."

"You can lay down if you want."

"Thank you. I will after I drink."

It was only then that Qui-Gon remembered what he was supposed to be doing. He went to the sink, filled a glass, and brought it back to Obi-Wan. As his lover drank, Qui-Gon took in Anakin's wide-eyed expression and smiled.

"You'll have to keep this news under your hat, Anakin," he said. "Obi-Wan and I have enough to deal with, I think."

"We can't hide this from the Council," Obi-Wan said, setting the glass aside. "We might succeed, but they need to know. I have faith in Master Yoda's words last night. I think he will look on us more compassionately now."

Qui-Gon frowned, but said, "I did sense a change in Master Mace, though I'm not sure we can trust them to forgive everything."

"Lesson one in the Unifying Force," Obi-Wan said. "Trust. There is nothing to be gained by lying to the Council and everything to lose. But there is hope in truth. Only by speaking the truth can you be open to the Unifying Force."

Anakin blinked as Qui-Gon considered that. "You're the master now, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan smiled. "In a manner of speaking, though only in this. There is much I need to still learn from Qui-Gon."

"Not so much as you think, Padawan mine," Qui-Gon muttered, his gaze still in-turned. Then he shook himself. "Enough. Anakin and I will get ready to go, you will rest, Obi-Wan, then we shall see if we'll all be attending this royal breakfast."


	11. Passing Judgment

**A/N:** This chapter is dedicated to Gizzi1213, who noticed that Obi-Wan has been lying to all of us about when he was raped, how many times he was raped, etc.

Thank you to Gizzi1213 and Ancient Galaxy for their reviews.

Passing Judgment

It was in Naboo's tradition to show rank at a royal banquet, and so when Qui-Gon, his apprentice, and his apprentice's apprentice entered the hall, they walked in this fashion: Qui-Gon first, Obi-Wan slightly behind and to his right, Anakin slightly behind Obi-Wan and to the padawan's left, directly behind Qui-Gon. Aside from the political reasons for the arrangement, Qui-Gon and Anakin were privately glad that Obi-Wan was between them where either of them could turn to him in an instant if he needed support. For his part, Obi-Wan concentrated on walking without showing his weakness. He was determined not to show his weakness.

Queen Amidala rose as they approached and extended a hand first to Qui-Gon, then to Obi-Wan, then to Anakin. She lingered with Obi-Wan for a moment, her eyes conveying her gratitude for all he had done.

When everyone was seated (Anakin noted that Masters Yoda, Mace and Zee were sitting nearby, as was Chancellor Palpatine) the Queen made a short speech, thanking the Jedi. She showered most of her praise on Obi-Wan, having thanked and applauded Qui-Gon and Anakin the night before. Obi-Wan was quite embarrassed by the end, but he hid it under his usual Jedi serenity.

When breakfast was served, however, Obi-Wan was hard-pressed not to feel sick to his stomach. Half the foods on the table made him feel light-headed; the rest just made him nauseas. Having long ago trained himself to eat anything that was put before him in the name of politeness, he managed to eat a few pieces of fruit, drink some water, half a slice of tangy-crusted bread and most of the portion of whipped egg that had been placed on the bread. For anyone who knew his usual ravenous habits- Qui-Gon and Yoda being numbered among these- his lack of appetite was alarming. But the Queen and her court didn't know Obi-Wan's eating habits, and so he seemed completely content to them. Queen Amidala made it a priority to tell him at least three times how well he had recovered, even though she didn't understand how he had been injured.

As the breakfast drew to a close, Anakin engaged the Queen in small talk, effectively masking Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan from view long enough for Qui-Gon to relax in his chair so he could send Obi-Wan half of his Force-energy. Yoda noticed the tactic, but didn't comment.

As everyone rose to leave, Padme smiled at Anakin, thanked him for his exciting anecdotes and wished him well on Coruscant. Anakin smiled at her, but the Jedi there knew the expression was at least half-faked. His eyes were too obviously on Obi-Wan, his thoughts too obviously divided between worries for himself and for his pretend master.

At last, everyone was released. Qui-Gon, Anakin and Obi-Wan left just as they had entered, following Yoda, Mace and Zee. The minute the doors were closed, however, Obi-Wan silently called Anakin to his side and leaned on the boy slightly as they walked. He would have accepted Qui-Gon's hand, but Yoda had drawn Qui-Gon forward to speak with him. Neither Obi-Wan nor Anakin pried into the conversation, though the boy was sorely tempted. He might have tried, except Obi-Wan caught his eye and Anakin knew that he wouldn't get away with eavesdropping that dray.

Only when they stood at the entrance to the quarters the two Jedi and the boy shared did Yoda turn to Obi-Wan. "Rest for an hour you will, Padawan Obi-Wan while pack and make ready Qui-Gon and Anakin do. Return to Coruscant later this morning we will."

Obi-Wan bowed. "Yes, Master." When Yoda and the others were gone, Qui-Gon put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders and guided him into their quarters. He steered Obi-Wan to a couch and urged him to sit.

"Do you need some water?" the Jedi Master asked.

"I just need to lie down," Obi-Wan answered. "If I never feel like this again, weak, dizzy and helpless, it will be too soon."

"I'll stay with you," Anakin said.

"No." Qui-Gon laid a firm hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Let's give Obi-Wan a little peace and quiet."

"I can be quiet," Anakin answered, flushing. He pulled away from Qui-Gon. "I won't make one sound."

"I need to sleep, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "If you want to stay, it's all right with me. But you're going to be bored."

Anakin plopped into a chair at the head of the couch. "I don't care. I need to stay here."

Obi-Wan smiled and touched Anakin's hand where it rested on the arm of the couch. "All right, Padawan mine. Stay if you want." He closed his eyes and his hand fell back to his side.

_Are you overruling my authority, Padawan mine? _Qui-Gon asked.

_In all other things, I will always follow you. But Anakin looks to me as the final authority because he's my padawan. I felt something from the Force. I'm not sure if it was from the Unifying Force or the Living Force, but it _is_ from the Light Force. For now, he needs me and needs to be near me._

Qui-Gon shook his head. _You are a better man than I am, Obi-Wan, but I wish you had told me your plans before you undercut my authority in front of Anakin. And what will you do if he ignores you and tries to plead his case with me?_

_I will tell him my word is final and I will not back down… And I'm sorry I defied you, Master. I only felt-_

_I understand, Obi mine. Rest now._

_I'm sorry, Master._

_Obi-Wan, stop apologizing. People will think I beat you if you act that way every time I become a little testy or question you._

_But I'm not like this normally, _Obi-Wan answered. _Most of the time, I'm convinced I've thought everything out. It's just that this time I saw my mistake the instant you point it out._

_You're becoming an adult, Obi-Wan. Now go to sleep._

_Yes, Master. _Obi-Wan erected a thin shield, more like a privacy curtain than an attempt at protection. Before allowing himself to sleep, Obi-Wan turned his mind to the near future and also back to the past.

_I'm pregnant. There has never been a pregnant Jedi. What will they insist I do with my baby? _He cast that question away, unable to answer. _Neither can I predict what the Council will say, though I still have a hope- perhaps founded in the Force, perhaps not- that Yoda will not separate us. That leaves only my confession of the truth. I should tell Qui-Gon first, and yet I do not think I will have the time. I'm already falling asleep; I feel it in my limbs and in my head. But no matter who else I tell, I must tell the Council. Only by confessing my lie can I seek the Force again. Master Yoda was right: once you lie, it's easier and easier to lie, to others and to yourself, until all you know is fabrication and falsehood. I don't' want to be that way. I will _not_ be that way. The Force runs thorough me for a better purpose than lying to my fellow Jedi._

Sleep overtook him then and Obi-Wan was glad to be taken.

oOo

When Obi-Wan woke up, he was conscious of the hum of vibrating metal underneath him. _I'm on a transport. Most likely the shuttle. _And he was conscious of the lies he had told. Now that he had opened himself up to the Force again, now that ber'Nac's influence was almost gone, the Force was reminding him that he had lied. First to Master Saltha, then to Qui-Gon, then to Anakin. _And even though I told the same sort of lie, I changed the information each time. When they all compare notes, hey will discover what I was done._

But it wasn't fear of discovery that urged Obi-Wan to sit up and look around, wanting to confess at once. After being cut off from the Force, he decided he would rather jump into a fired-up plasma engine than risk losing his connection to the Force again. _All right, _he told the Force, _I'll tell them now._

He was sitting on the edge of a narrow cot. Around him were other cots and a small 'fresher. This was where he'd awoken the first time after fighting the Sith. Nodding, satisfied that he was alone, Obi-Wan put himself together quickly, finding and lacing his boots before he left the small sleeping quarters.

Yoda, Mace and Anakin were in the very next chamber, sitting around a low table. Obi-Wan was struck for an instant by how natural the scene looked; it was as if Anakin belonged at that table with the two Jedi Masters, as if he belonged there more than anywhere else.

Anakin turned, grinning. He jumped to his feet and offered Obi-Wan his seat.

"Thank you, Anakin, but I'm all right. I have something to confess to all of you, but I should first ask Master Qui-Gon and Master Zee to join us." He smiled and glanced towards the doorway between the small galley and the cockpit. Qui-Gon stood there, his eyes trained on Obi-Wan. Then Zee appeared beside him. As one, they entered the room.

Obi-Wan waited until everyone had found a seat or a place to stand. Qui-Gon stood behind Anakin, who had resumed his seat, and Zee stood between Mace and Yoda. "I've told a different story to everyone who has asked," Obi-Wan began at once. "Because of my already-strained relationship with the Force and self-deception, I allowed myself to lie. Now, reconnected to the Unifying Force and learning how to connect to the Living Force, I must tell the truth or profane all that the Force has given me." He steadied himself in silence for a moment. "ber'Nac raped me for the first time five months ago. I have lain with him seven times since then." He waited for those in the room to absorb this. "Now I find that I am pregnant. The baby may be ber'Nac's, but it might also be Qui-Gon's. I want to keep our child, no matter who the father is. But, as in all else, that decision belongs to the Council." He took a step back and bowed slightly, signaling the end of his speech.

He didn't dare look at any of them, especially Qui-Gon.

"To tell the truth a Jedi must always try," Yoda said. "Sense I do that telling everything now you are. Matters to you it does not who the father is?"

Obi-Wan raised his eyes and met Yoda's gaze. "I want the baby to be Master Qui-Gon's and my own," Obi-Wan answered. "But I will love this child no matter who the father is."

"Fear I sense in you. Please speak of this fear."

"I've been pregnant before, Master, but that child died while I was at Temple. I had a miscarriage."

Anakin gaped at Obi-Wan, unable to imagine such a thing. Aside from a man being pregnant, how could a Jedi, who was so connected to the Force, lose his baby before it was even born? Was it because Obi-Wan hadn't been close to the Force at that time, or was it something that just happened?

"I don't want to lose this one, but I don't know what caused the miscarriage last time." Obi-Wan shifted his weight, then settled back into his relaxed, ready posture.

Yoda was silent for a full minute. "When return to Coruscant we do, decided these things will be. For now, how feel do you, Padawan Obi-Wan?"

"Much stronger, Master. I will be ready to stand trial when we return."

"Attend the hearing you will. No need for a trial yet there is."

Obi-Wan bowed.

"Return to our earlier discussion we will, Anakin. Leave us the rest of you should." Yoda turned back to Anakin and seemed to forget Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were there at all.

Zee headed into the cockpit, but Qui-Gon came forward and led Obi-Wan into the sleeping quarters. When the door had closed and they were alone, Qui-Gon sat on the narrow cot where Obi-Wan had lay and gestured for his lover to join him.

Obi-Wan did, casting his eyes to the floor. He waited for whatever reprimand or show of hurt feelings might come.

"So long, Obi mine. You suffered for so long in silence…" Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan against his shoulder, holding him with one arm. "Not only were you disconnected from the Force, but you were suffering ber'Nac's advances. _And_ you hid everything from me. This isn't a breach of trust that can be easily remedied."

"It's as bad as Melida/Daan, when I declared I would never be a Jedi again. I know. And I'm sorry. I thought such rash decisions were far behind me."

"If you had a deeper connection to the Living Force, this would have never happened!" Qui-Gon's hurt anger flared and he drew back a little from Obi-Wan. "What did you think you were playing at? Did you think he would get tired of you, that he would be satisfied with taking you only once? Or did he say he would stop after ten times? How could you think that debasing yourself would save me? We've been a team, you and I, for over ten years. And we've been lovers for four years. How could you just cast me off and try to go it alone? It is decisions like that, times like these, which make me wonder if you will ever be a Knight. You have come so far, and yet you fail to understand basic truths! What am I to do with you, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan stood and made his way to the cot on the other side of the small room. He sat, facing Qui-Gon. "First, you're going to stop telling me how hopeless I am, unless you truly believe that. And if you do, then I am lost. I may as well go to Bandomeer and work in the Agri-Corps. You taught me a love of growing things; if I am not happy there, at least I would be able to find peace in the Force." He raised a hand as Qui-Gon opened his mouth to speak. "But I am not running or suggesting that I will take myself away from the Temple. The Council will decide if I must go or if I will be allowed to stay. But you will not speak to me as if I was the worst padawan to ever cross your path. We agreed to a more equal relationship when you told me you loved me as I loved you. Don't withdraw that now. For better or for worse, I am your equal, Qui-Gon Jinn. Nothing you say can take back my freedom."

He waited for an answer, but Qui-Gon had no words for him.

Obi-Wan went on, "And now you know the full extent of my sin against you, against the Jedi, and against the Force. Idiocy and a blind desire to protect the one I loved drove my decisions. I won't make that mistake again. The Force will always come first. Both halves of the Light Force."

"You said 'the one I loved.' Are you so angry with me that you call an end to our love?"

Obi-Wan scowled, then closed his eyes. Drawing his legs up, he sat cross-legged on the bed and went completely still. Composing himself, he answered, _No, beloved. I didn't mean to put our love in the past tense. But I was speaking quickly and not thinking. _A wave of sorrow accompanied his speech. _Please, Qui-Gon, can we start over? This argument will only spiral down and I don't want to lose you. Not when I have been granted forgiveness by the Force._

Qui-Gon's anger receded slightly. _I don't want to lose you either, Obi mine. But I need to know what you were thinking, how you could give yourself over to him. Please tell me if you thought he would leave you alone after that first time._

_I knew he wouldn't, _Obi-Wan answered. _And I knew I would be trapped if I submitted. But I couldn't think of anything else to do. I would rather spend the rest of my life as someone's whore than lose you. _

_Obi-Wan… You can't mean that. You can't value yourself so little…_

_Why not? Qui-Gon, without you I would have nothing but my duty to rely on. And while I would still be a Jedi, would still commune with the Light Force without you, I would spend the rest of my life as a hollow shell. Doing the Force's will, so I would never be a danger to the Republic or to other Jedi, but I wouldn't be an outstanding Jedi or even more than a competent one. _Obi-Wan sighed. _I'm not making myself clear. Think of a volcano without lava. The mountain is still there, and it is still both beautiful and strong. But the world-changing fire that comes from its mouth, the ash and molten rock that can bring bursts of life to a forest that it has destroyed, would be gone. The volcano would just be a pretty shell._

_Would you really lose your drive without me, Obi-Wan? What if Darth Maul had killed me? What then?_

_That's not the same as losing you, _Obi-Wan answered. _I would grieve. For the rest of my life, I would miss you and wish you were still alive. But I would do everything in my power to live as you would have wanted, to fulfill your dreams. If you had died, I would have trained Anakin, not just because I care for him, but because you would have wanted it. But to lose you… to know that you were in prison and I couldn't reach you… Understand me, Qui-Gon: prison isn't better or worse than death. But at least if you died, I would know you had died strong in the Force. Prison has made more than one Jedi go mad and either kill himself or fall to the Dark Side. _He shivered. _Call me selfish, but I'd rather know you died at the height of your trust in the Light Force than slowly turn to the other side._

Qui-Gon sank down beside Obi-Wan and kissed his cheek. The younger man didn't open his eyes. _It isn't selfish, Obi-Wan. That is also what I would want for you was there ever a choice between the two. _He kissed Obi-Wan again. _Now I understand, I think. Please don't ever push me out again, Obi-Wan. If I can't help, someone can. Please don't try to fight such battles on your own. Promise me, Obi-Wan._

_I promise. _Obi-Wan blinked, his bright, blue eyes glistening with unshed tears.

_I love you, Obi mine. And I'm sorry I lost my temper. _Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan again, this time on his fair mouth. _And as for our child, whether I am the father or not, if we are allowed, we will take care of it. And… _He hugged Obi-Wan. _And if this one dies, Obi-Wan, please remember that it was the will the Force, not a judgment against us or a cruel joke. The Force only does what is right and good._

_I know. _A shiver passed through Obi-Wan. _But I don't want to lose this miracle._

_I know, Obi mine. I know. _Qui-Gon turned so that he was lying on the cot and Obi-Wan was on top of him. _Come, my love. Let us meditate for a time. I will reach out to the Unifying Force and you to the Living Force. We are always connected, and so we will help each other find the right path. _He was silent for only an instant before adding, _And I didn't mean it. I lost all semblance of a Jedi Knight when I told you I don't think you're ready for Knighthood. Of all the apprentices I have seen over the years, you are the most ready. Because you question everything, including yourself, and always seek a deeper understanding. In that way, Obi-Wan, you already have the beginnings of a lifelong connection to the Living Force because you don't just accept rules._

_But I stick more to the rules than you do, Master._

Qui-Gon chuckled. _A bantha sticks more closely to the rules than I do, Padawan mine. That is not a failing in you; it is a mark that you are different from me, that you are your own Jedi. _His smile was a little sad. _I learned with Xanatos that what I don't want is a clone. And you are not that, Obi-Wan; you never were, even when you copied my movements during katas or meditation. Your heart is your own, as is your mind. And for that I will be always grateful. _He laughed. _Would you rather that we both had an imbalance in the Force, abandoning the Unifying Force? We would have to find others to help us then instead of drawing on each other's strengths, as a good Master-Padawan team does._

Obi-Wan smiled and began to sink towards meditation. _Love you, _he sent before the trance overcame him.

Qui-Gon followed, seeking both his sure connection to the Living Force and Obi-Wan's connection to the Unifying Force. _We will get through this, _he thought. _The Force will see us through, especially now._

oOo

Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon into the Council chamber the next morning. Anakin had been joined up with a Master-Padawan team that had just returned from a mission. Obi-Wan had been so glad to see Bant that he'd almost wept when he saw her waiting for them. She didn't know about the Council hearing that was coming, but the entire Temple had heard about ber'Nac and Obi-Wan's submission to him.

The moment Obi-Wan stepped off the ramp, Bant broke away from her master and ran to him, light-footed as a summer breeze. She flung her long arms around his neck (a task that forced her to stand on tiptoe) and kissed his cheek. "I'm here for you," she whispered in his ear as she continued to hug him. "Promise me you'll come to me if you need help."

Trailing his fingers through her long hair, relaxing against her for only a moment, Obi-Wan said, "I will always do that. Thank you."

She nodded and let go of him, though she stood so their hands were touching. She gazed at Anakin, who stood, forgotten, as Qui-Gon and Bant's master, Ryn-yn Yil, stood apart, conversing in whispers. "Who's that?"

Obi-Wan gestured for Anakin to join them. "Bant, this is Anakin Skywalker, my pretend padawan. Anakin, this is Bant, my dearest friend."

Anakin stuck out his hand and she shook it, smiling. "You must be very patient," she said. "Obi-Wan isn't the most organized and open soul I've ever met." She winked, and Anakin grinned at her.

"Now don't go giving my padawan any ideas of how flawed I am." Obi-Wan laughed. "He can discover all my mistakes on his own."

"I already knew about those, Master," Anakin answered.

Bant snickered. "He's a quick study, Obi-Wan. I like him." She grinned at Anakin. "Just come to me, Anakin, if he's ever treating you badly, like forgetting to feed you. Just because he forgets to eat himself doesn't mean he can forget you."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I never forgot to eat when we were in Temple training. Just because I didn't eat a cargo hold of food every time we sat down, like Reeft-"

"That was Temple training, this is now." She jabbed Obi-Wan in the ribs. "You're too skinny, pretend master Kenobi."

That was when Qui-Gon had interrupted them, saying that Anakin would be staying with Master Ryn-yn and Obi-Wan would follow him to the Council Chamber. Anakin had sent Obi-Wan a good-luck wish through their bond, and Bant had hugged Obi-Wan one last time before letting him go. And Obi-Wan had watched as the two Jedi Masters exchanged a look that said Ryn-yn understood more than most of the Jedi did about what Qui-Gon was going through. How much had Qui-Gon told him? Obi-Wan felt himself coloring slightly.

As he and Qui-Gon stood before the Council, Obi-Wan focused only on the meeting before them, knowing that the past would have to be left for now and the future shouldn't be guessed at. The Council stood by a door, and they were ready to close it or open it; Obi-Wan couldn't know which would happen, and so to think on the possibilities was merely a distraction. He squared his shoulders, calmed his thoughts, and waited.

"Balance returning to your minds is," Yoda began. "Sense I do the new roads you are seeking into the facets of the Force. Truly desire to remain Jedi you both do."

He cleared his throat. "But desiring a path make that path easy to find does not. And many paths there are, for many pairs of feet. A connection to the Force does not mean members of the Jedi Order you will both remain. Much you have both risked denying the Jedi Code, and much you still wish to risk. Even though repairing your imbalances you are, repair your defiance you do not seek to. Abandon your love of each other you will not. True this is? Hear it from both of you I wish to."

"Yes, that is true," Qui-Gon answered.

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said. He took in the ancient master's expressionless face, knowing he couldn't read Yoda's thoughts or intentions, but giving himself something to look at, helping him to keep his mind focused under the wash of feeling Yoda's statements brought to the surface of his mind. He knew Qui-Gon needed no such anchor in reality, but what Obi-Wan did was perfectly permissible; Yoda had taught him the technique himself.

Yoda nodded. "Obi-Wan a balance between the Force and his love has discovered, though it was not the path he thought at first. His heart was right, and by that was he saved. The Force rewarded him for his love of the Force by giving him a second chance. And by Obi-Wan's love are you also saved, Qui-Gon, though your own balance between love and the Force you still must find. Guide you in that Obi-Wan might, if given time. Your connection to the Living Force always stronger has been with those you are not close to. Tahl an exception to that rule is, though to learn her heart much time it took you. Learn how to read those close to you both you and your apprentice must.

"But learn these things as a master and a Padawan you cannot." Yoda was speaking more quickly now, though his speech still didn't seem to hurry. Yoda never seemed to hurry. If anything, he seemed more at ease in this faster movement of words. "Only equals teach each other these things can. And there is the mater of Anakin Skywalker to discuss. His fate bears heavily on your own, though perhaps you think ti should be the other way. If in the midst of your own lessons you were not, true that would be. But Anakin teach you about reading those close to you can.

"So work as a Master-Padawan team you cannot. And yet, together you must be, with Anakin, if learn you are going to. Only one solution there is, but first some history there is that know you must."

Mace roused himself. "When the first Jedi wrote the first list of rules for his padawan, the law against love wasn't there. Even though it was known that the Jedi needed to be close to the Force, it was still believed that every Jedi could balance their obedience to the Force with their own desires. With that first Master-Padawan team, that belief was put to the test. And while the team survived, it was only after much hardship. So the Cod was written as more and more padawans were taken, and more of these became masters. The Jedi Order grew, but the Code did not change. No Jedi could love. It was too dangerous. Only through suffering and hardship could a Jedi find love. And even when one Jedi was ready, there was no guarantee his or her partner would be. It is difficult enough to find two compatible people in the universe who will always love each other. How much harder, then, must it be to find two people who love each other and will obey the Force? And this applied to even those Jedi who took lovers outside the Order, though that was rarer than snow on a desert planet. It was almost impossible.

"So the chance to fall in love and fail with the Force was taken away, and very few have questioned it. Two Jedi question the Code every century or so, but only two Jedi in ten centuries are able to find the balance they need." He reached out and took Yoda's hand. "Yoda and I have found that, as the Council knows, but we are the only mated Jedi alive today." He gazed on Obi-Wan. "And we have children, just as you seek to have. Two of our children, Yace of Telagron III, and Ahleh Windu, have died. One remains." He fell silent and gazed at the Master and Padawan before him.

It came into Obi-Wan's mind that Mace was grieving for him, and for Qui-Gon. But under his grief lurked the memory of his dead children.

His dead children… Obi-Wan shivered, thinking of his first master, and tears filled her eyes. He tried to push them back, to conquer them, but Yoda said:

"Let yourself cry for her you may, Obi-Wan. Loved her I know you did."

And Obi-Wan let the tears fall. He stood, watching Mace and Yoda through the shimmering curtain, and waited for the fresh wave of grief to ebb around them, to flow over him, and to recede. When he felt his sorrow retreat, he wiped his eyes. He could sense Qui-Gon standing very close to him, wanting to hold him, but knowing that wasn't allowed here. Even if Qui-Gon hadn't been his lover, formality still surrounded them in the Council Chamber.

"So allowances have been made," Mace continued. "But under no circumstances can a mater and apprentice exist in such an equal way. Or so we believed. Until now. Nothing has changed between you, even though everything has changed. The line between Master and Padawan still exists, is perhaps stronger now than it was when Obi-Wan was a young teenager struggling to find his place. And so you could be allowed to endure this way, except you can't, for, as has been said, you need to accomplish your lessons."

"And accomplish them you will," Adi Gallia said. "You are to be sent to the planet Ragoon 6, where both of you have conducted survival training. This time, however, you will be granted two things: a year of time and a third member of your party." She deferred to Yoda, who had humphed slightly.

"Go with you Anakin Skywalker will on this mission of discovery. And not only to Ragoon 6 will you go, but to Fregala to have the baby, back to Coruscant for a short time to study what you have learned, and then to Rojo IV who will, in eighteen months' time, be ready to join the Republic, or so they have stated. All of this not set in stone is, because much can change. But return to active duty you will not until judged you again this Council has." He turned to Obi-Wan. "Test you we must two more times, Obi-Wan. The first test I will explain in a moment. But the other test is this: you are not to know whose child you bear if and until born the child is. A test of your love this is, but also a test of your patience, as patience you are still gaining."

Obi-Wan bowed, accepting this. What test was it not to know the father? He could care less.

Yoda smiled. "Perhaps understand the nature of the test in time you will. The first test you will endure are the Trials. Then, if pass you do, speak of the future we will."

"Please, Master Yoda, what will happen if I don't pass? Will-?"

"For you to know that is not. Go to the Garden of Light you will. Meditate until sunset you will. Then conduct the Trails we will." He stood, and the rest of the council members followed him. "Dismissed you are. May the Force be with you."

oOo

They weren't allowed to speak; that was the first order once the decision had been made that an apprentice should stand the Trials. Obi-Wan bowed to Qui-Gon outside the Council Chamber and strode away, knowing he couldn't even exchange a look or a thought with his master.

Qui-Gon watched Obi-Wan until he was out of sight, then turned and headed for the training area, wondering if Ryn-yn, Bant and Anakin would still be there. He thought of what he could tell Anakin, and then realized that the answer was 'nothing.' Nothing was certain until Obi-Wan's fate was decided.

_He will pass. I know it in my heart. He will be a Knight by sunrise._

But Qui-Gon didn't dwell on this thought; it wasn't proper. _And besides, I'll have my own preparations to make, come noon. _That was less than three hours away. Qui-Gon hurried his steps, wanting to spend at least a little time with Anakin and the others before having to sequester himself.

They were still in the training room. Bant stood at one end, Anakin stood at the other, and Ryn-yn stood in the center, sending objects towards each of them that they had to deflect with the Force. Qui-Gon stood in the doorway, watching as the blindfolded Bant and Anakin deflect pillows, shields, blocks and other medium-sized objects. It was true that Ryn-yn sent three times as many things Bant's way, and that he never sent Anakin anything hard, but that was as it should be. Anakin missed the objects sometimes, usually by striking out too quickly. Bant's moves were sure and flawless. How long would it be until her own Trials day came?

Qui-Gon wandered over to Anakin, standing behind him. He knew Anakin sensed him, but his presence didn't seem to fluster or unsettle the boy. The Jedi Master nodded his approval. He spoke. "Slow down, Anakin. Let the objects come closer to you. They'll come if they're supposed to come. Don't strike at the ones that are only going to miss you anyway."

Ten minutes passed in this way, then Ryn-yn stepped back and clapped his hands. "Enough for today." He strode to Qui-Gon's side and took him away a little distance. "Well?"

"Obi-Wan will stand the Trials this evening. Then we will see."

"That's all they can give you?"

"Oh, there's hope. There has never been so much hope for us. But this must come first. Obi-Wan must face his trials."

"You're a more patient man than I, Qui-Gon Jinn."

"Perhaps that's why I became a Knight after you, my friend: I was so patient I almost slept."

Ryn-yn shook his head. "The great Qui-Gon sleep when he could be preparing for Knighthood? No, my friend. It was only because I happened to be at Temple sooner." He laid a hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder. "Will you tell me nothing?"

"I don't know what to tell you, except our hopes sit on Obi-Wan's Knighthood. But even then there is hope." He shrugged. "So, no, I have nothing to tell you."

"So be it. The time for your own meditation draws near. In two hours, you will begin. Would you like me to look after Anakin until this is over?"

"Shouldn't you be off? You spend less time at Temple than Obi-Wan and I do."

"We were going to leave tonight, but it can be put off until late morning tomorrow. Bant will want to see Obi-Wan after the Trials, and want to know what's to be done with my closest friend and his padawan." He cleared his throat. "Is Obi-Wan strong enough to handle the Trials after being…"

"He is strong enough, in body, mind, and spirit."

Ryn-yn nodded, accepting Qui-Gon's firm response. "Then soon enough we'll be calling him Knight Obi-Wan." He grinned. "Thought I've always thought 'Knight Kenobi' would sound better. Like Master Windu, it just rings more true that using his first name." He chuckled. "But who am I to contend with centuries of tradition? Knight Obi-Wan it will have to be."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Maybe when he becomes Master Obi-Wan…" He shook his head and they both laughed. "No, he's still cursed. Mater Kenobi just sounds more dignified, somehow." Then he added, "And this isn't the time, in any case. First he must pass; then we can debate names."

Ryn-yn bowed to him. "Go talk to young Skywalker before you go." His eyes twinkled. "Mater Jinn."

Qui-Gon's lip quirked, but his expression became serene and unreadable as he turned to face Anakin. The boy had been talking to Bant, but he turned at once as he felt Qui-Gon's gaze on him. Both he and Bant moved closer. "Anakin, it is time for Obi-Wan to stand the Trials, the tests that will determine if he is ready for Knighthood. I also must prepare for these tests, as I have a part in them. Will you remain with Bant and Master Ryn-yn until tomorrow morning? Then Obi-Wan and I will fetch you."

Anakin nodded. "Do you think Obi-Wan will pass?"

_Ah, the very question I wanted to avoid. _"I can't say, Anakin."

The boy sighed. "Okay. I'll see you in the morning." But he didn't move; his eyes were filled with a need Qui-Gon understood only too well.

"Obi-Wan will be all right," Qui-Gon said. "And will the three of us. Be at peace until the morning, Anakin. There's nothing you can change by worrying."

"I know. It's just that ber'Nac made him so weak, destroyed his connection to the Force. Is that connection back? Can he really succeed?"

"Anakin." Qui-Gon knelt before the boy. "Have faith in Obi-Wan's ability to heal and his ability to talk to the Force. Didn't he connect to both you and I on Naboo? Remember that and have faith."

"Okay. But I still don't like it. They should have given him a little more time to recover."

Qui-Gon stood. "He doesn't need time, Anakin." Then, before he could speak any more beliefs into facts, he said to all three of them, "I should go now. I need to seek my own peace before my preparations start."

Bant reached out, touching Qui-Gon's hand with gentle fingers. "I'm sure Obi-Wan will be all right."

He smiled at her. "I know. We'll see all of you tomorrow."

oOo

The stolen starfighter- sleek, elegant, better because it had been lifted from the hangar adjacent to the Temple- descended slowly through the ice-blue air, overpowering the shrieking wind with its screaming engines.

Eyes that could change from the sensual blue of cornflowers to a midnight blue threatening as an enemy's shadow in the dark watched the starfighter land. _She's beautiful, _the clone thought. _Perfect in line, form and function. I wonder if Qui-Gon saw her take off? _But he knew that wasn't so; Qui-Gon had already been on Naboo when the work of art called a ship had left her port for the last time.

_Or perhaps not for the last time, but she won't be returning soon. Maybe not even in a year. This one needs to be trained, and only my Master can teach him what he needs to know. This one is stronger than Bruck; he will get farther than Bruck. But I mustn't overestimate him. He's old for a padawan. Obi-Wan has the excuse of a lack of instinctual connection to the Force. This one doesn't even have that._

Crossing his arms, his face impassive, the clone waited as the engines cut out and the ramp descended. The man that strode down the ramp had dressed for the temperature outside, so at least he was bright enough to bring supplies.

_Not that I need anything, but he will, until he learns. _The clone fingered the uncut pelt of the sen-sha he wore about his shoulders. Larger than a man by half, the creatures were good for clothing as well as meat.

The man stopped before the clone, glaring at him, refusing to show respect. _Good. At least he knows he's not in the Temple anymore. _"You may call me Callous. Welcome to your new classroom."

ber'Nac scowled. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

"I don't care what you think, as long as you remember that my Master is your Master, and you will abandon all thoughts of assuaging your lust until your training is complete."

"I'm here, aren't I? I'll get back to Obi-Wan someday; he can't hide from me."

_Cockier than a banty rooster, aren't we? My Master and I will teach you the way of the universe. _"Once you learn about the Dark Force that may be true." The clone stepped back, waving towards the shelter he had built in the wilderness. "Come. Eat with me and we will talk of the first steps you will take on the path to true understanding."

"You talk more like Yoda than like a Sith."

The clone started for the shelter. "Are you so sure I'm a Sith?" _Do I carry myself so well? _He smiled, thinking of how Qui-Gon hadn't been able to defeat Darth Maul on his own. _When my Master names me the replacement of his dead apprentice, when he thinks I'm ready, Qui-Gon won't be able to run far enough. _Then he calmed his mind. _Revenge will come, just as I have told this young one. And I am just as patient as Qui-Gon, when I have to be._

His failure on Telos didn't trouble him. After all, he hadn't really lived it, and seeing his death at a remove had taught him much. _Qui-Gon was right about one thing: I fell back too often on words to sway others._ Having studied Darth Maul while he was here, the clone had learned to let his lightsaber speak more often than he opened his mouth. Darth Maul was too quiet for him, but much of his silence had been well-chosen.

"If you're not, then I will become one," ber'Nac said, unaware of the clone's wandering thoughts. "I know your master is a Sith, at least."

"And how exactly did you come by that bit of knowledge?" They were inside, and the clone pointed to the table, where food was ready for them. "Sit." _And you will never b called a Sith. You are too much like Bruck; a tool only, not worthy of the Dark Power. Your hatred is petty and doesn't run very deep. _He smiled to himself, his back turned to ber'Nac. _Strange that I've just noticed this, but Obi-Wan's resistance has now led two padawans to me. _His smile became a gallows grin. _I think I can spare a few words to tell him that before he dies._

"Obi-Wan was sure it was a Sith that fought Qui-Gon on Tatooine. True, he was only repeating Qui-Gon's belief, but Qui-Gon is hardly ever wrong." He smiled. "Except, of course, in the matter of his padawan whoring for me."

"Perhaps my Master will tell you soon enough whether he is a Sith or not, and what I am." Xanatos lifted his cup. "To the future."

o---------------------o

tbc…

**A/N2:** Okay, tell the truth now: How many of you guessed Xanatos? He's just too creepy and sly to give himself over to death without having a back-up plan. 


	12. The Trials and the Decision

**Author's Note of Apology:** Okay, this was so horrible, so full of mistakes, that I have to repost. Also, I've finished the next chapter, _Crystal Cave_, at last, so that's up, too. I was overwhelmed by a five-hundred page story in another fandom, but that one's done, so now I can dedicate myself to this story that I've missed. Next chapter Crystal Cave: _Something About Ragoon 6._

The Trials and the Decision

The high-ceilinged chamber was visited regularly by all initiates, padawans, and knights. Now, it was cast in shadows and surrounded by a high ring of chairs that shimmered slightly in the flicker of three or four well-placed glow rods.

Obi-Wan stood in the center of the room, his Padawan braid over one shoulder, his Jedi robes clean and hanging well on his narrow frame. In the weak light, he looked pale and too thin. And even though no shadow of doubt crossed his face, he seemed much too young for what was to come. This was more than a trick of the light; Yoda would have told it to any Master that questioned. Obi-Wan looked young and untried because of the seriousness of his expression. Instead of looking like the man he was, he looked more like a child pretending with all his heart at being big.

"Ready you are to begin, Padawan Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan bowed. "Yes, Master Yoda. I am ready."

"Severed your training bond has been?"

That had been both difficult and painful. Qui-Gon had come to Obi-Wan scarcely an hour before, announcing what Obi-Wan had half-known must happen. Together, they removed the bond from their minds, separating themselves as Jedi Masters were separated. If Obi-Wan became a Knight, they would form a new bond, a love bond, such as the one Yoda and Mace doubtless held. The feeling of emptiness still tried to tempt Obi-Wan into losing his concentration. So far, he hadn't given in. "Yes, Master."

"Place the blindfold over your eyes."

Obi-Wan obeyed, making sure that the only image left to him was the memory of the room and all that had been in it. He composed himself, ready for the next direction.

The attack came without further words from the Council, but Obi-Wan had felt the ripple in the Force and he rolled aside, coming up with his lightsaber ignited. He met another weapon at once, but before he could use the contract to measure his opponent's strength, his opponent spun away. Obi-Wan felt the flicker in the Force as the other Jedi leapt at him again, trying to cut his legs from under him. Obi-Wan jumped above the arc, twisting in midair so that he turned away from the other Jedi instead of leaping at him or her, which is what would have been expected. He felt the satisfying dance in the Force as his opponent was thrown off-balance for the barest instant. As his feet touched the ground, Obi-Wan swung upward, connected with what would have been his opponent's head if the other Jedi hadn't intercepted the padawan's blade with his own. Obi-Wan twisted away, going back on the defensive. He now knew two things almost for certain, though he refused to let the possibilities distract him. One: his opponent wasn't blindfolded. Two: he was almost surely fighting Qui-Gon. The way their blades had crossed, and the energy which flowed between them, almost clinched it.

The Jedi came at him again and Obi-Wan decided to test his theory even as he prepared for his guess to be wrong. He swung, two-handed, in a move that Qui-Gon had chastened him about when he was first learning to wield a lightsaber. If it was Qui-Gon, the man would counter it with a simple upward stroke designed to knock the weapon from Obi-Wan's grasp. At the last instant, Obi-Wan changed the direction of his blade, cutting sideways, then dropping the saber blade low and shoving upwards. The gratifying sizzle of saber on saber made Obi-Wan grin in spite of himself.

"Enough," Yoda announced. "Over this first trial is. Sheath your weapons, take off your blindfold, Padawan, and shake hands with your opponent."

Obi-Wan sheathed his deactivated lightsaber and removed his blindfold. When he saw Qui-Gon standing before him, the padawan bowed.

Qui-Gon returned the gesture, his expression unreadable, then said, "Come, Obi-Wan. Your next challenge awaits only a small change to your weaponry. Follow me." In an adjacent room, Qui-Gon asked that Obi-Wan exchange his lightsaber for either a sword or a blaster. Obi-Wan considered the very different weapons, knowing that the choosing was a test in itself. "May I ask questions about the trial to come?"

"Yes, and if I can answer, I will."

"How many will I fight?"

"One."

"Will I need my blindfold?"

"You won't be asked to wear it, but you may keep it if you wish."

Obi-Wan tucked the blindfold into his belt where he could get to it easily. "What weapon will my opponent use?"

"That I cannot tell you."

Obi-Wan nodded. All the information he could have was before him. He considered for only a moment, then picked up the sword. It was like his lightsaber in some ways, but was very different in others. He had learned just how different a lightsaber and a sword really were when he was thirteen, and it was a lesson he would never forget. And yet, he had grown to enjoy sword fighting. Using a blaster had never come naturally to him, and so his moment of hesitation had been brief.

The Force stirred around him and Obi-Wan had the idea that someone had just spoken to Qui-Gon silently. Perhaps that person now knew Obi-Wan's choice. The padawan squared his shoulders and met Qui-Gon's gaze steadily, waiting.

"Your task is to survive for one hour, or to defeat your opponent if you can." Qui-Gon led the way back into the next room.

Obi-Wan regretted that he had chosen the sword, since it was heavier than a blaster. _Still, if I had chosen the blaster, I may have found out that it wasn't fully charged. Better a weapon I know than one I don't. _Discreetly, he measured the sword's width and found that he would be able to holster it if the need arose. Almost impossible, that eventuality, but Obi-Wan didn't discount it.

Master Zee faced him in the center of the room. Qui-Gon retreated to a chair high above the floor, seating himself beside Adi Galia.

Zee carried four blasters, one for each hand. He gestured for Obi-Wan to stand before him. They bowed to each other.

At once, Zee drew three of his blasters and began shooting. Obi-Wan rolled forward instead of back and sliced the barrel off one blaster. This left him open for a moment, but he knocked the other two blasters up and away with his arm. Their barrels were hot and his skin was singed despite the robe he wore. Leaping away, Obi-Wan kicked out at the same time, knocking the fourth blaster out of the lowest holster where it rode. The blaster flew away, clattering into the shadows.

Obi-Wan went the other way, using a pillar as the shield it was. Blaster fire pinged on the other side of the pillar, but Obi-Wan knew better than to trust completely to the sound. Zee might have lowered the setting on the blasters he was using to make himself sound further away. Glancing up, Obi-Wan saw that the pillar was one of only two in the hall that didn't quite touch the ceiling. Was there time to reach the top, and would there be room up there for him? Obi-Wan thought so. Sheathing his sword, he Force-leaped to the top of the pillar. Even as he went, he saw Zee dart around the pillar, one arm on each side for a moment so he seemed to be hugging the duracrete.

Obi-Wan changed his plan and dropped down on the master. He didn't make a sound as he fell, but Zee sensed him and jumped back, aiming his blasters for the exact spot where Obi-Wan would fall.

The padawan kicked off from the pillar and somersaulted overhead. Blaster fire followed him and Obi-Wan freed the sword to deflect it. Even before his feet touched the ground, Obi-Wan was sending Zee's fire back the way it had come. The padawan had the brief triumph of seeing one of the blasters melt in Zee's hand as a reflected bolt sliced through the barrel. Zee turned the defective weapon into a burning projectile that caught Obi-Wan in the chest and flung him backwards.

As Obi-Wan struggled to jump up, he was Force-thrown across the room, where he crashed into a pillar.

_Obviously, _he thought as he dashed around the pillar, _if I expect to survive, I'm going to have to take a less offensive attitude. _He glanced up, verified he was not behind a pillar that he could sit on top of, and made a break for the shadows at the edge of the room. The stray blaster wasn't in this corner, but Obi-Wan just wanted a moment to think. And one pillar had already proved dangerous. Sprinting into the shadows, he pushed out to his left and behind him with a Force-wall. He felt Zee hit the wall and bounce off, startled.

Alone in the shadow for a breath, Obi-Wan considered all the weapons at his disposal: the Force, the sword… the blindfold. Nodding, Obi-Wan put the blindfold on and made his way sideways, heading not for a pillar, but for the space directly between two of them. He felt Zee moving towards him, and nodded. Grasping his sword-hilt, he dropped to one knee, then rolled to the side. The floor beside him exploded and Obi-Wan continued somersaulting, using the Force to propel him further and further. He changed direction three times, coming out of the roll only when he sensed Zee was close enough to be taken. Switching direction one more time, Obi-Wan changed his somersaults into backflips and sprang around Zee, avoiding blaster fire with the help of the Force. He dropped onto Zee's back and, ripping off the blindfold, put it over Zee's eyes before leaping away again. Obi-Wan called on the Force all around him, called specifically on the Living Force to connect him to the masters above him and his opponent before him. He drew into himself, then released a wave of the Force, which wrapped itself around Zee and kept the blindfold in place. While Zee wasted a precious two seconds, Obi-Wan jumped forward and sliced the remaining two blasters neatly in half. Then he was gone again, Force-leaping to the top of the pillar he'd tried to climb earlier.

From his perch, Obi-Wan watched Zee abandon the blindfold and use his own connection to the Force to find Obi-Wan and leap after him. He came at the padawan with his arms extended, ready to knock him off the pillar. Obi-Wan sliced down and out with the sword and Zee had to drop back to save himself. He yanked at the blindfold again, but Obi-Wan kept it firmly in place.

Twice more Zee tried to attack Obi-Wan on the pillar, but each time Obi-Wan used the weight of the sword to good advantage. Then, as Zee retreated, Obi-Wan leapt from the pillar. He jumped to the railing that separated the center ring from the chairs where the masters sat, and from there to the second pillar that had a little space at the top. This one was a little smaller and Obi-Wan had to lay flat to keep from hitting his head. He groaned as his midsection connected with the duracrete. _Splendid. Now I'm trapped like a landed fish._

And Zee was coming for him.

The padawan called the nearest blaster to him, knowing it was broken, but not caring. It was ammunition. As Zee came on, again ignoring the blindfold, Obi-Wan threw the destroyed blaster. With a quick snap of the Force, he pulled the blindfold down so Zee could see, then jerked it back into place. The padawan dropped from the pillar and sprinted for the shadows where the one remaining blaster lay.

A Force-wave crashed over him, sending him sprawling. Obi-Wan gasped as the sword-hilt dug into his ribs. Before he could get to his feet, he was shoved face-flat on the floor. He couldn't move.

A brief flicker of terror, a blue flame that burned his mind and his wits, assailed him. To be down again- To have the enemy coming for him, ready to rape him-

Obi-Wan drew the blinding fear into himself, then let it go. He felt suddenly lighter than he had since the trial started. Instead of pushing back against the Force that held him, he drew on it, pulling into himself until he could feel Zee at the other end of the push. Connecting to the master that held him, Obi-Wan reversed the Force's push and leapt up the moment the Force turned on Zee.

Calling the nearby blaster to himself, Obi-Wan turned back. He'd worked a subtle magic on the small firearm and he tossed it at Zee instead of shooting him.

The explosion blew Zee backwards and it was his turn to hit the wall. Obi-Wan didn't attack him, but stood in the very center of the room, sword drawn and ready. Now it would be Zee's Force against Obi-Wan's sword and partnership with the Force.

As the minutes dragged on, Obi-Wan circled and retreated only. This was going to be a waiting game, and he was sure that, even if he was to defeat Zee, he would have others to fight. He conserved his strength.

Yoda called, "Finished this trial is."

Obi-Wan and Zee stepped towards each other and Obi-Wan bowed before kneeling before the master and offering his weapon hilt-first in a sign of respect and loyalty to the Jedi Order.

Zee touched the hilt and smiled at Obi-Wan. "Rise, Padawan Obi-Wan."

The young man obeyed.

Zee went back to his chair.

"Your next test is one of will," Mace announced. "You will be shown into a meditation room. There you will face the final test. Afterwards, you will be taken somewhere to meditate."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan bowed again.

Master Adee Larn approached and beckoned for Obi-Wan to follow him. They walked through silent corridors and into a meditation room that Obi-Wan had never seem before. There were no windows, as there were in most other places in the Temple, especially in the meditation rooms because seeing the sky encouraged meditation in many.

Realizing that he was carrying his sword, unsheathed, Obi-Wan put the sword away.

Adee Larn glanced at him and smiled at him. "Yes, you won't need that. Your next challenge is one of the mind, as I'm sure you've gathered. Are you up to it?"

It wasn't a question a master should ask, and so Obi-Wan hesitated. He wasn't sure if he should pretend he hadn't heard, or if he should point out the master's mistake. Perhaps this, too, was a test. "Master, I am ready if the Force wills it," he answered.

Adee Larn gestured for Obi-Wan to sit in the center of the room. "I'll leave you now," he said. "I suggest you enter a meditative state and wait for the test to begin."

As Obi-Wan closed his eyes and descended quickly through the layers that separated deep meditation from consciousness, he wondered briefly if the room in which he sat was akin to the cave where he'd made his lightsaber. As he approached a full state of concentration, he let the thought go.

Almost at once, he was taken out of his body so that his spirit stood facing a row of doors. Each glowed faintly and each was inscribed with a number.

"You will open each," said a voice Obi-Wan didn't recognize. "And you will face what's inside."

Obi-Wan nodded to himself. _All right. I knew I would face my fears. _He opened the nearest door. The number on it was 3.

A clearing in a forest greeted his eyes. The first thing Obi-Wan noticed was that he was seeing the clearing from an angle that suggested he was either crouching or sitting down. He stepped forward into the vision and the door closed behind him.

Obi-Wan blinked, feeling slightly light-headed. He gazed up at the trees and luxuriated in the warm sunlight. For some reason he couldn't remember, he felt completely drained.

A rustling in the nearby bushes drew his attention and Obi-Wan turned, smiling when he saw Qui-Gon approaching. Anakin walked a little behind Qui-Gon, but he darted ahead of the older man and dropped to his knees at Obi-Wan's side. _I'm sorry, Master, _the boy sent. _Qui-Gon couldn't save him. He tried. But the baby's so little…_

Obi-Wan lifted his eyes to Qui-Gon, and saw the bundle his lover carried. Obi-Wan groaned and closed his eyes. Grief washed over him.

Qui-Gon spoke, his voice bitter. "If you hadn't sold yourself to ber'Nac, this would have never happened."

A foot connected with Obi-Wan's side and he cried out. "Qui-Gon, please! Qui-Gon!" He opened his eyes. Anakin was leaning over him, his eyes bright with lust. "No! Anakin, what's wrong with you?"

The boy touched him between his legs and Obi-Wan tried to pull away.

_Obi-Wan, where are you?_

_Here! Who are you? Help me, please!_

_Where is 'here?'_

_Some planet! I don't know! Please, don't let him touch me! Anakin would never touch me unless-_

_You're right; he never would. Do you think you're not on Coruscant?_

_Yes!_

_You are still in the Jedi Temple. You haven't left. And your child is yet unborn._

Obi-Wan froze for an instant, and suddenly he knew what was happening. Closing his eyes, calling the Froce around him, he felt the stone floor beneath him and the walls of the Temple around him. Distantly, he could feel other members of the Order going about their daily tasks. The hand between his legs vanished and he found himself once again in front of the numbered doors. The padawan was tempted to rebuke himself for his loss of control, but he knew what was past was past and he had to move forward. He inhaled his frustration at himself, then let it go again.

Stepping sideways, he touched the doorknob of the next door. _I may forget what I am doing, just as I did before. _Obi-Wan glanced down at himself, noting that even in the vision he was carrying the sword. He couldn't remember if he'd been wearing it while under the trees. _No help there. _Thinking back to the time a machine had tried to forcibly strip him of his memories, Obi-Wan drew the Force about his mind like a shield before tuning the knob.

Six doors later- ber'Nac, Xanatos, Anakin, Xanatos again, Darth Maul, Master Ahleh screaming at him that he would never amount to anything- Obi-Wan stood before the final door. The shield he had built around his mind had held through the first two doors, failed at the next, been brought back up, and had held through the last three so that Obi-Wan knew, even as he dealt with the images before him and the voices in his mind, that he was still in control of himself, that he was physically safe.

Strange, he thought, how he was stroked or kissed during each vision, even the one with his former master.

The last door stood ready for him and Obi-Wan squared his shoulders, ready to step through. But before he could reach for the doorknob, he was assaulted from behind. Arms drew him backwards and hot lips sucked at his neck. Obi-Wan fought, shaken and confused. This wasn't right. He was supposed to face the trial _after _he opened the door. Something was wrong- something had gone very wrong-

_Unless _this _is the trial. Why not? So many other unpredictable things have happened today. Why not? _He relaxed, then twisted and tried to crouch down. Another pair of arms, just as strong as the first, prevented his escape. Obi-Wan glanced down at them, and saw they didn't belong to anything human. Green and smooth they were, long-fingered and narrow. The six digits on each hand, combined with the four arms and the tail that had snaked around Obi-Wan's legs labeled the creature as a Repticonn, a species that usually stayed as far from other beings as possible. Obi-Wan had only seen two such beings in all his years traveling with Qui-Gon, and he'd seen them both at Temple: Master Zee and his brother, Adee Larn.

Obi-Wan attempted to Force-push the Repticonn off him, but he met with an even stronger Force. Without much hope that it would work, but unwilling to leave anything untried, Obi-Wan said, putting his full command of Force-suggestion behind his words, "You want to let me go."

The being that held him laughed, but didn't speak. Then the lips began to suck at his neck again.

Obi-Wan wondered briefly why he was so irresistible.

Building up his mental shields, making sure the being behind him- the Repticonn was now grinding himself against Obi-Wan's backside- couldn't have more of him than temporary claim over his body. _Is this truly a test? And if this is really a Repticonn, is it Master Adee? _But he couldn't believe that, no matter his past history with Jedi Masters. _He's on the Council; he's close to Master Yoda. Surely the innermost secrets of his heart are known. And if this isn't him, given that Repticonns would be just about the last beings to assault one not of their own species, this must be part of the Trials. _He thought of what he had studied about Repticonns and knew that such tremendous xenophobes would never harass him.

_There are exceptions to every rule, but give me a break! _Obi-Wan slammed his head backwards against the nose of the creature that held him even as he thought, _I am meditating right now. I am on Coruscant. None of this is physically happening. _

Grunting, the Repticonn loosened his grip for a moment.

Obi-Wan wriggled away, stamping on his assailant's foot as hard as he could even as he Force-leaped to get away.

Strong fingers wrapped themselves about Obi-Wan's ankle and he crashed to the floor, crying out in surprise.

The creature pushed him down and laid, full length, on top of him, fiddling now with the padawan's belt.

oOo

"Fought well he did," Yoda said, looking to the other masters that sat around him.

"Very well," Adi Galia answered. "I would be proud to have such a Knight at my side during a fight."

Qui-Gon beamed. He couldn't have asked for a better compliment from the stoic master. Confined to a simple vote, yes or no, at the end of the Trials, Qui-Gon kept his silence and listened to the others, curious to see what they would do. Mace, Ki Adi Mundi and Adee Larn would preside over the final Trial, and so there was nothing for the other members of the Council to do except decide if Obi-Wan had fought well in the Physical Trials to be considered. _As if there could ever be any doubt. _Qui-Gon thought. As good as he knew Obi-Wan was, he had still been surprised when Obi-Wan identified him almost at once by his fighting style. His padawan had passed the first Trial in half the time it usually took padawans. _Obi-Wan will be just fine._

Qui-Gon's mind tried to turn to the child growing inside his beloved, but he focused again on the conversation around him.

Cro-Whan Kendi Lensht (called Master Cro by everyone, though the first person to do so had been the elegant, silt-winged master's very first padawan, Tahl) arranged herself more comfortably in her chair before speaking. "He isn't arrogant. There isn't any animosity or rage in him. Perhaps he is a little quick to jump to conclusions, but that has been well balanced with caution. And any mistakes this young one makes once I doubt he will make again."

Qui-Gon smiled at her. Hearing her speak was almost to hear Tahl speak, since the two had been inseparable for years upon years, even when Tahl became a master in her own right. _If ever I miss Tahl beyond bearing, I can always go to Master Cro and just listen to her instruct her young padawan._

Yoda turned to Zee, meaning to speak to him. The others, too, looked to him, and so it was that all saw the look of pain that crossed his face. Qui-Gon, ever the healer in his heart, reached out and touched the Repticonn's bottom left hand. "Are you-?"

Zee winced again and touched his forehead. "No," he whispered, "I'm not all right." He stood, staggering slightly.

Cro jumped up and steadied him. "Zee, sit. Whatever it is-"

"It's Obi-Wan. He's finished the Trials, but he is still fighting someone. Mace and the others are trying to enter the meditation room and they can't get in." He groaned. "Obi-Wan is fighting in his mind only; he is being held in meditation, even though the threat… the threat is physical."

Qui-Gon had leapt over the high railing the moment Zee spoke of Obi-Wan in danger. Force-leaping halfway across the room to the doors, Qui-Gon landed lightly and sprinted to the door. Throwing it open, he dashed down the hall.

Yoda floated after the Jedi Master, calling, "Know the way you do not."

Qui-Gon skidded to a halt and cursed. He ran back to Yoda and gazed at him imploringly.

"Follow me you will." Yoda flew down the hallway.

Qui-Gon had to run to keep up. Behind him, he heard the others following. _Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! _He struggled to re-form the bond, but it remained dead. It needed Obi-Wan reaching out to bring it back to life.

Zee, too, followed, but more slowly. What he could do must be done away from the meditation room. _Can you hear me? Answer me if you can hear me._

_I hear you. I always hear you._

_Let him go. He's only a boy._

_He's old enough to be considered for Knighthood._

_He's innocent! And he's a Jedi Apprentice._

An echo of pain traveled down their link. _What is it? _Zee asked.

_Nothing. Nothing physical. Obi-Wan Kenobi is far from innocent, Zee. He's been touched by two Jedi and raped by two others. There's nothing new I can do to him._

_He's still a Jedi Apprentice. Qui-Gon is coming. He will find you. Yoda will find you. I don't want you to fall under suspicion again. Once was too many times. You're lucky they didn't kick you out then._

_All right; I've backed off. He didn't know it was me. He thought it was part of the Trials. But you worry too much, Zee. And you have never understood my needs._

_Your lust, you mean. And you're right: I don't understand. You could go home and have any young one among our people give you your heart's desire. Why pray on a padawan?_

_Obi-Wan has something none of our kind has._

Zee sighed. _And what's that? _He knew, or thought he knew, and had no real hope of winning the argument, but Zee was nothing if not hopeful.

_Two arms, no tail, creamy skin, and soft, red hair. And, lest I forget, the mind of an innocent. You were right about that much, at least. Even if he's been raped, Obi-Wan Kenobi will go to his death still innocent. More fool him. And harder on him, as well. For that reason, if for no other, he should have been sent away form the Temple when he couldn't stay with Yoda anymore. _He laughed. _Of course, now it's too late. No one will ever know Obi-Wan's weaknesses except those that sense the mark on him._

_School your mind. They will be there soon._

_Don't tell me what to do, Zee. I've been getting away with this for years._

_You didn't get away with the last one._

_Ah, but that was before the Jedi began to weaken. I'm perfectly safe. Come soon or they might start suspecting you, the wise fools._

Zee stood still in the hall, closing his eyes and composing himself. _I swear, if I wasn't a Jedi, I would kill him. _He began to walk quickly. _And yet, what sort of Jedi am I if I allow him to prey on padawans?_

_I will not let him be sent home. He needs to be here; our planet kills his spirit. Better to be here. I'll just make sure Obi-Wan is well, then I'll find a way to convince Adee to leave him be. _He was almost running now. _Then again, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon will be going on their long journey soon; maybe by the time they get back, Adee will have forgotten all about Obi-Wan's red hair._

oOo

_I'm getting just a little sick of this. I am neither a willing slut or a weak boy ready to be taken as a whore. _Obi-Wan shoved back against the hands on his ass, trying to over-balance the Repticonn behind him. But the creature's tail was strong and kept it from falling.

Twisting, Obi-Wan flipped from his stomach to his side and jerked his leg up, connecting with his attacker's inner thigh. He'd been aiming for a much more effective spot, but the thing on top of him had shielded itself with its tail.

_So, the tail's my problem. _Obi-Wan concentrated on the tail and used the Force to tie it into a quick, tight knot.

His attacker screamed and jumped away.

Obi-Wan rolled the other way and came up on his feet. His attacker was hidden in shadow and Obi-Wan cursed his luck. _I need to get out of my meditative state. Then this nightmare will end. _But even as he realized this, he knew it to be impossible. _I don't have the command of the Force needed. _Then he sighed and centered himself. His assailant was busy; Obi-Wan had a moment. _ I do not command the Force; I work with it. _He closed his eyes. _I must get out of here. _He reached out, trying to feel his way up and out of the dangerous place his meditative state had become. At first, he felt nothing, then chided himself for using only his connection to the Unifying Force. Seeking the link he'd learned about with Qui-Gon just the day before, he called on the Living Force, asking it to guide his mind back to his living body. Emptiness at first, then a sense of someone reaching out to him. Obi-Wan responded, reaching back, ignoring everything around him except that other impulse.

A hand descended through the darkness like a rope dropped down a hole so a trapped man could climb out. Obi-Wan jumped up and caught the hand. It tightened around him, almost crushing his fingers.

"Obi-Wan, you're all right. Just follow the pull of the Living Force back to the surface of your mind."

"Yes, Master Windu." Obi-Wan began to kick with his feet, realizing that he could make the air around him thick enough to push against if he wished to. Despite the fact that someone had trapped him, he was still trapped within his own mind. _I couldn't control the invader or stop him within my mind, but I can control my surroundings. _Slowly, he rose.

Then other hands were catching hold of him and he rose with blinding speed. He didn't recognize all the hands, but Master Yoda was there and so was Qui-Gon.

An instant later, Obi-Wan's eyes flew open. He was still sitting where he'd arranged himself; his legs were still crossed, his hands still resting on his knees. Yoda was touching his shoulder, Mace was kneeling on his left, and Qui-Gon had crouched behind him, gripping his upper arms. The rest of the Jedi Council had crammed itself into the small room; each was touching the hand of another, and the one closest to Mace- Cro- had rested her hand on his shoulder. In this way, Obi-Wan realized, they had all called him back.

"What happened?" he asked, wanting really to know if he had passed, if he could become a Knight, but not daring to ask. "Why couldn't I emerge?" He was frightened, suddenly, that his confinement in his mind had been the final Trial, and he'd failed.

"Attacked you were by a wave of the Dark Force." Yoda gestured and everyone moved back from Obi-Wan, except for Qui-Gon. Yoda glanced over Obi-Wan shoulder and Qui-Gon sighed, standing. "Go all of you must," Yoda announced. "Find you Obi-Wan and I will when time it is for more talk." The door closed a few moments later (Qui-Gon had been the last to leave, glancing back one fine time to make sure Obi-Wan was truly safe) and the ancient master and the padawan were left alone. "Recognized the Dark Force you did?" Yoda asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head, feeling miserable. "No, Master. I couldn't decide if it was part of the test or if it was something I had to truly fight." He sighed. "I know both meant about the same thing, so I called out to the Force, and the Force helped me push the one who was attacking me away. But I couldn't have gotten out without your help."

"Powerful the Dark Force was," Yoda answered. "Powerful it was, and yet fought it you did. Felt your resistance even before reached you I did. Strong you have become, Obi-Wan Kenobi, in all ways of the Force and in all ways of becoming a Jedi. Proud of you I am, Obi-Wan." Yoda rose to his feet and stepped back, giving Obi-Wan a little room.

Obi-Wan stood and bowed. "Thank you, Master." He wanted to ask now, but he kept it to himself.

Yoda smiled as if he could read the need in Obi-Wan's eyes. "Decided your fate I have, but first a question I must ask you: if knew how to reach with the Living Force you did before today, then use it why did you not?"

"I didn't know, Master. Qui-Gon and I taught each other on the way back from Naboo."

"Ah." Yoda began to hobble out of the room, leaning on his stick. "Follow you will, Obi-Wan." The doors parted for him and Yoda led the way past two rows of Jedi Council members. Obi-Wan followed him, his eyes focused only on Yoda. He was afraid to look at the others. He spotted Qui-Gon out of the corner of his eye, and hoped his master would follow soon. And he noticed Zee and Adee Larn, unable to not see them, but he ignored them.

_It wasn't Master Adee. He's a Jedi Master, a member of the Council. And if it had been him, he was standing right next to Mace, who would have surely been able to read his intentions. The wave came from someone else who wished to confuse me. _He thought of ber'Nac, but shook his head. _He doesn't have that much power. He can't. He's a padawan, or was. _But memories of being paralyzed flashed across Obi-Wan's mind and he decided that it could possibly be ber'Nac. _For some reason, though, that doesn't make sense to me._

As soon as Obi-Wan passed the last pair of Jedi, the two lines moved a little closer together and marched, shoulder-to-shoulder, behind him. Yoda led them all to the Council chamber. Inside, the first, pink light of dawn was glowing through the high windows. Instead of taking his seat, Yoda sat down on the floor to meditate. Obi-Wan sank down before him, assuming the same position, and the others sat around them.

"Meditate we will. Reach out to the presence that attacked Obi-Wan Kenobi none of us will. Reach out to the Unifying Force and to the Living Force we will."

Obi-Wan mused that he would have been hopping from foot to foot in nervousness only a few years ago. He closed his eyes and composed himself. Meditation came easily, and at once he felt the hum of the minds around him. He drank in the strength around him, refreshing himself and giving back to the pool as much as he took as the strength settled inside him.

In what seemed like no time, Yoda drew them all out of meditation and stood. Obi-Wan started to rise, but Yoda gestured for him to kneel. Behind Obi-Wan, the rest of the Council members and Qui-Gon gained their feet.

"A journey the pursuit of Knighthood is. And to become a Master, never ends the journey does." Yoda stepped close to Obi-Wan and rested a hand on his shoulder. "But taken a step today you have, Obi-Wan." Yoda gestured, and Qui-Gon stepped forward, carrying the ceremonial, keen-edged knife. "From hard work and patience rewards of strength, perseverance and peace come."

Qui-Gon lifted Obi-Wan's braid off the younger man's shoulder.

Yoda continued, "This moment, Obi-Wan, marks your first morning-"

The knife cut cleanly through the braid and it fell into Obi-Wan's hand, which had drifted up of its own accord.

"-as a Jedi Knight. Welcome you we do."

Obi-Wan rose and bowed to Yoda, and to the other Council members that had moved to stand behind the diminutive master. Then he turned to Qui-Gon. His former master's eyes sparkled in the morning sun. As one, they bowed to each other.

"And now, formality done is," Yoda declared. With two short hobble-steps, he reached Obi-Wan's side. Urging the Knight to kneel, Yoda hugged Obi-Wan, startling everyone in the room, not the least of which the red-headed man being embraced. "So very proud of you I am, Obi-Wan. Always speaks to me of you the Force does. From your first day here, convinced me of your enduring strength the Force did. Like a son you are to me."

Obi-Wan couldn't speak for the lump in his throat, and he couldn't see for the tears.

Yoda stepped back. "But kept you to myself long enough I have."

Qui-Gon at once took Yoda's place, kissing Obi-Wan passionately.

Reaching up, Obi-Wan felt the wetness on Qui-Gon's cheeks. His own tears flowed faster and he allowed himself to be almost crushed in Qui-Gon's embrace. Reaching out with his mind, he met Qui-Gon halfway. Their new bond was formed an instant later.

_I love you, Obi mine._

_I love you, too… _The evil grin flashed in their minds. _Master._

oOo

Anakin leapt off the sleep couch in the main room of Ryn-yn's quarters. Rushing to the window, he stared out at the first light of dawn. _They'll come now, _he thought. Rushing about, there were times he tripped over his own feet in his flurried activity. He washed, dressed, neatened himself as much as he had patience for, fixed up the sleep couch so that it was neat as when he'd laid down, and then fell to pacing.

A soft chuckle drew his attention. Ryn-yn stood at the end of the hall that led off the common room. The master's hair was tousled, but he was dressed in his Jedi robes. His eyes continued to laugh even as he spoke. "Bant has been awake for an hour or so. If you'd like, we'll join her in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. That is where Obi-Wan will come if he's been Knighted."

"And if he hasn't?" Anakin asked, resisting the urge to hop from foot to foot as Ryn-yn combed out his hair with infuriating slowness.

"He has," Ryn-yn answered. "I have every confidence in Qui-Gon's former padawan." Then, seeing that Anakin was serious, he added, "But if I'm wrong, Obi-Wan will be speaking with Yoda until about noon. He can attempt the Trials in no less than three months from now." Ryn-yn tossed the brush across the room, using the Force to make it land safely on a shelf. His hair was only half-combed so that it puffed out in several places. "Come, Anakin; let's go see what's been decided. No reason to sit here worrying anymore."

Anakin had to run to keep up with Ryn-yn's long-legged, quick strides. But the boy still had enough breath for one question. "Does that mean you were lying awake last night too?"

"Perhaps." They took the lift down, and Ryn-yn tapped his fingers on the wall as they descended.

Out in the corridor again, Ryn-yn put on an extra burst of speed. Before making the final turn, however, he stopped short and put a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "And now we must act completely dignified," he whispered, his features schooled and his eyes fiercely, hilariously grave. Ry-yn swept around the corner, head high, hands hanging at his sides, his robes moving around him majestically.

The doors to the Fountain Room were closed and two dozen other Jedi and their apprentices hovered about. No one spoke, but the padawans exchanged glances and sometimes had to cover their mouths. Anakin and Ryn-yn joined Bant.

She flashed them a nervous grin and turned her eyes back to the doors.

Ryn-yn placed steadying hands on both of their shoulders. His expression didn't change, but Anakin felt the Force surround him, soothe his jumping heart a little. Beside him, Bant's eyes cleared.

_He's good, _Anakin thought. _Especially considering how fast he walked here. _He sent out an impulse in the Force, reaching for Obi-Wan, but the pulse came back to him, strangely changed. Anakin studied it for a long minute, forgetting where he was. He reached out again, wanting this time to feel the return of the pulse. It came again, and this time Anakin heard the voice that accompanied it: _Wait you must, Anakin. Time it is not._

Anakin blinked, then retreated into his own mind. _Yoda is keeping us out. What does that mean? Is he going to keep us waiting out here until noon? _Anakin's stomach did a funny little dance before settling.

When the doors opened, Anakin almost lunged at them. Ryn-yn held him back. Mace walked out, gazing at all of them, his face expressionless. "Follow me, please." He led the crowd, which had swollen to about thirty Jedi and their padawans, down the main path and to the cliffs. A deep pool glimmered beneath them, but no one could focus on the beauty of the water. Obi-Wan stood on the shore, flanked by Yoda and Qui-Gon. His braid was conspicuously absent.

Bant gasped, but mastered herself. Ryn-yn steered both of his charges to the edge of the path, refusing to take his hands from their shoulders just yet.

Yoda cleared his throat and the rustling of robes stopped instantly. "See you already can what I would say, but a moment only I ask you." He turned to Obi-Wan and gestured for him to kneel. The masters among the crowd knew this was a repeat of a ceremony that had taken place in the Council chambers, but they watched as avidly as their padawans.

Yoda touched Obi-Wan's forehead, then his shoulder in blessing. "Rise, Knight Obi-Wan." And when Obi-Wan stood before him, "Formality done is." Yoda stepped back so that the crowd could surge forward.

oOo

Late that afternoon, after Obi-Wan had been toasted (mostly with water) more times than he could count, and had been kissed by Bant at least fifty times, the new Knight, his former master, and Anakin met with the Jedi Council to discuss what would come next. Anakin had been privately nervous all day, knowing that Obi-Wan's Knighthood was a step in the right direction, but unsure what would happen to him now. So far, the Council hadn't acted even half-favorably towards him.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stood, shoulder-to-shoulder, as befitted two Knights. Anakin stood a little behind Obi-Wan and to his left in the position of apprentice.

"Decided your fate is," Yoda announced. "Go to Ragoon 6 the three of you will. But an interesting arrangement you will have. Obi-Wan not ready to be a full master yet is, and yet drawn to him Anakin is." He nodded to Mace.

"Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi is now your master. As such, you will defer to him, will obey his orders, and will learn all you can from him." He gazed at Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. "And when you need help, Obi-Wan, you will feel free to ask Qui-Gon. Understand this: Qui-Gon is not Anakin's master. Anakin must not go to him to overrule Obi-Wan. But Qui-Gon may influence Obi-Wan's decisions if he thinks it is for the best."

"A very difficult position for all three of you this is. Almost as a padawan you are being treated, Obi-Wan, though a Knight you are. But for less than twelve hours a Knight you have been. Ready to take on the sole responsibility for training a padawan you are not."

"I understand, Master Yoda."

Yoda humphed. "See we will if more troubled in time you are." He turned to Anakin. "Obey Obi-Wan you will. Understood this is?"

"Yes, Master."

"On Ragoon 6, one mission you have: learn to work together you must. When nearing his time Obi-Wan is, go to Fregala you will."

"Master, may I ask a question?"

"Speak, Qui-Gon. Your question perhaps I can answer." The humor in Yoda's eyes was lost on none of them.

"Why would you send us to Fregala?"

"Fell in love there did you not? Buried your first child there did you not?"

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exchanged a glance.

Yoda's eyes fairly twinkled. "Wondering you are how information I find? Ways there are, and guided by the Force I was. After the birth of your child, return to Coruscant to decide on its future we will. And decisions you both must make." He clapped his hands. "But in the future this all is, and the future uncertain is. For now, make his lightsaber Anakin must, and then journey to Ragoon 6 you will. There begin your journey of discovery you will. Leave tomorrow you will. May the Force be with you."

The two masters and the padawan left the Council chamber. The moment the doors closed, Anakin jumped straight up in the air and flung out his arms. "Yes!"

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exchanged a tolerant look, then Obi-Wan said, "Come, Padawan mine. Much has to be done before we leave tomorrow."

Anakin bounced after Obi-Wan, scarcely able to contain his excitement. But by the time they entered the lift, the boy had reined himself in. He wanted to show himself to be the perfect Jedi, and so he schooled his features and tried to still his jittering body, even though his thoughts still raced. _Where do I have to go to make a lightsaber? And how do I make one? What's so dangerous about Ragoon 6 that Jedi train there? And what will Fregala be like? And what will Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon do with their baby when it's born? They can't take it on missions! _Now Anakin understood why children were taken away from their parents when they showed Force-sensitivity. And that prompted another question, one he had to ask. "Master Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Anakin?" Obi-Wan glanced down at the boy as they walked towards their quarters.

"If both the parents are Force-sensitive, will the baby be that way too?"

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, then he sighed. "No, Anakin. There is no guarantee that any baby will or won't be Force-sensitive. The Force chooses its children and none can guess why some are chosen and others are not." He laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "If my baby is Force-sensitive, he or she will be raised at Temple. If not… Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

_Though we should talk about it, _Qui-Gon sent.

_Tonight. For now, Anakin needs robes, better shoes, a survival pack, a medpac, a…_

_I take your meaning, P- Knight Obi._

_That's going to take some getting used to._

_Not so much as you'd think. Simply treat Anakin as you always have and know that I'm here for you if you need help. The big difference is this: the final decisions are now yours._

_That, former Mater mine, is the difficult part._


	13. Crystal Cave

**Author's Note of Apology:** I'm sorry this took so long. Now that I have some extra time, I'll be dedicating myself to this story that I've missed so much.

Crystal Cave

Anakin shivered and stared up at the high mountain he would be climbing. He wasn't afraid, but the winter air was frigid, especially against skin so used to the heat of Tatooine. The clothes he wore protected him, but Anakin wondered if he would feel warm again any time in the near future. Ragoon 6, he was told, was almost as cold as the planet he now stood on. _Well, if Master Yoda wanted to see if I'd survive being half-frozen, he'll get his answer._

Straightening his shoulders, putting his discomfort to one side, Anakin watched his master and Qui-Gon locking the ship down, fastening it into the ice so it couldn't be pushed over by any of the dangerous creatures that lived on the frozen world. The ship was a flimsy thing, too small to be comfortable and not really equipped to handle much of anything. Anakin had been almost worried about flying in it. _Almost._ Anakin grinned. Knowing that he was in something next door to a podracer had filled him with a bubbling excitement that had disrupted his meditation and made him long to fly the ship. But here Obi-Wan drew the line, saying that Anakin would fly someday, but not quite yet. Instead, Anakin had first watched Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon sit in the cockpit, then he'd been allowed to take Qui-Gon's place as copilot. He was the one who had chosen the landing spot for the flimsy ship, though Obi-Wan made the actual landing. He tried very hard not to be frustrated, but it was hard when he knew he could fly just as well as his master, or maybe better. Probably better. The only thing that saved Anakin from total frustration was something Qui-Gon said to him as they exited the ship: "Flying for a Jedi is a study in the Unifying Force. You've relied on instinct until now; it's time to learn what you're really accessing. When you are comfortable with that, you will be allowed to fly."

Anakin walked towards his master as the young man stood back from the ship, nodding to himself. "Maybe she won't fly away now," Anakin said, shivering again as the wind picked up.

Obi-Wan smiled at him. "I hope not. Are you ready? Where is your lightsaber handle?"

Anakin took out the handle he had carved himself, guided both by his imagination and by the will of the Force. He knew more than his own instinct had carved the images on the handle because strange curves that felt right, but of which he had never dreamed, crisscrossed the handle alongside Anakin's own ideas. Holding it out to his master, he thought Obi-Wan would take it. But Obi-Wan only studied it.

Obi-Wan caught the confusion in Anakin's eyes. "That's your weapon, now, Anakin. For me to touch it without your word of consent wouldn't be right."

"Do you want to hold it?" Anakin asked. "You can, if you want." He didn't fight the rush of love for his master that surrounded him. He let go of his frustration over the flying incident as he proffered the handle. And when Obi-Wan took it with all seriousness and respect, Anakin decided his master knew what he was doing most of the time.

Obi-Wan turned the handle in his hands, gazing at the carvings and nodding. He traced one. "Tell me about this shape, Anakin."

"It's the two suns on Tatooine," Anakin answered. "So I always remember where I came from." He pointed to a rectangle with points at its top. This image had been carved around the two suns. "That's the Jedi Temple, my new home."

Obi-Wan smiled. "And this?"

Anakin gazed at the twisting lines for a moment. "The Force told me to make those. I'm not sure what they're supposed to represent."

Obi-Wan handed the weapon-base over. "Maybe some of your questions will be answered here." He pointed up. "Let's get a good start before night falls." Glancing back towards the ship, he called, "Qui-Gon, it's going to stay. Come on."

Qui-Gon stood from one of the lines. "I know, Obi mine. I only wanted to give the two of you a moment." He grinned as he joined them. To Anakin, he whispered, "And I agree with you: the thing _is_ flimsy. One or two more lines holding it in place couldn't hurt. We need that ship to get off-planet, after all."

Obi-Wan, though he was a few paces away, must have caught some of this whispered conversation, because he laughed. "And I thought _I _was the cautious one." He strode to the foot of trail, then turned back and beckoned for them to join him.

oOo

The climb hadn't been as bad as Anakin had feared; not only had his cable launcher helped, but he'd been able to draw on the Force through his connection to Obi-Wan to a before-unknown degree. He'd almost flown up the wall, side-by-side with his master. Anakin was surprised to find that he actually enjoyed the rush of the cold wind against his face. _Maybe Ragoon 6 won't be so bad. _Grinning, he joined Obi-Wan at the mouth of the cave. He sensed rather than heard Qui-Gon join them and paused a moment to wonder if Qui-Gon felt left out. Glancing back, he decided not to ask. Qui-Gon was gazing at Obi-Wan with such admiration that Anakin realized his question was silly. _I would be jealous and lonely if I was Qui-Gon, but he thinks differently than I do. _

Obi-Wan drew Anakin close to the front of cave and out of the wind. "Once we're inside, we'll be separated," he said. "The cave will speak to you of your hopes and your deepest fears. You will be led by the Force to the crystals at the center, and from these crystals you will choose those that are meant for your lightsaber. Don't try to force any decision; you'll be led best if you wait and listen." He laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "And try to remember that the visions you see are just that, and not physical manifestations."

Anakin smiled. "I'll be all right, Master Obi-Wan. Don't worry about me. How will I find you when I'm done?"

"The cave will lead you back to me when you're ready."

"Will the cave send you visions, too?"

Obi-Wan's eyes darkened in an expression Anakin couldn't quite read. "More than likely." He gestured towards the inside of the cave. "Don't worry about me; go build your lightsaber. I'll see you when it's all over."

Anakin didn't hesitate. With the handle of his lightsaber nestled securely in his belt, he strode into the shadows. Almost immediately, he came upon a fork, but when he turned to ask Obi-Wan which way he should go, he realized that he couldn't see the front of the cave anymore. That should have been impossible, and Anakin realized that the visions had begun. Sighing, knowing he couldn't fight them, he took the left fork and continued to journey deeper into the cave. He could barely see, and wished he had taken a glow rod. But, no; Obi-Wan had said no light would help him. Anakin extended a hand, wanting to touch something before running into it.

In this way, he touched the robe of the Sith that stood before him without realizing what it was. Anakin felt the glossy, soft surface yield to him and wondered what it was. Surely this couldn't be a vision; he could feel it. Wishing he could see, Anakin asked, "Who's there?" Maybe it was only Obi-Wan. Maybe they'd accidentally found each other in the dark.

"Hello, Anakin. Welcome to your future." The voice rasped and rattled as if the very act of breathing, let alone speaking, was a difficulty only accomplished with help outside the speaker's control. Torches flared where no torches should have been, and Anakin jumped back as the black-robed, masked figure towered over him. "I don't look very pleasant, do I, Boy? Mark my image well; notice all the armor that keeps me alive. My master made me this way. My master made me this way. Never forget how I look. And never forget that your master, my master, made this happen."

"Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan did this to you?" Anakin stepped back again. "He couldn't. Obi-Wan wouldn't condemn anyone to that!"

"He'll say he had no choice. He'll say I made my own decision. And Qui-Gon will say the same. But I am as you see me because of your master, my master."

"Who are you? Obi-Wan has only had one padawan."

The Sith laughed. "You'll know me someday, Anakin. Then you won't have to ask." He reached out one gloved hand. "Or I could just show you the future now, if you'd like."

Anakin jumped back one final time and turned to flee. "You did it to yourself!" he screamed at the vision as he sprinted away. "Obi-Wan wouldn't leave you to suffer like that!" He crashed into a wall at full tilt and staggered back.

A gentle hand caught his shoulder and turned him. Obi-Wan, carrying a glow rod, was gazing down at him, his face creased with worry. "Anakin, they're only visions. They can't hurt you."

"But I felt him! I felt the Sith! He was holding my arm and he told me you left him to become half machine." Anakin shuddered and drew closer to Obi-Wan, seeking comfort and understanding.

"Sometimes you can feel visions, Anakin, but that doesn't mean they're not visions. Go find your crystals."

A dark shadow passed behind Obi-Wan and Anakin screamed as a red-bladed lightsaber sliced into Obi-Wan's back, shoving him forward against Anakin. The rattling-breathed Sith smiled down at the dying Jedi, then turned his eyes on Anakin. "He can't protect you, Anakin. He's weak. He can't save you."

_There's really a Sith here! And he just- _Anakin leapt at the Sith, calling Obi-Wan's lightsaber to his hand as he leapt. _I'll kill you, _he vowed as he rent the air with the blue blade.

The Sith parted before him, cut neatly in half. But then it vanished. Anakin cried out and staggered back. The lightsaber fell from his hand and was lost in the darkness. He expected to trip over his dead master, but he only crashed against another wall.

The roughness of the rock brought Anakin back to himself and he closed his eyes, calling out to the Force. _They were only visions. I felt them, but they weren't real. _Anakin stood and continued on his way. _I can get through this. I know I can. I have to. Master Obi-Wan is counting on me. And I'm stronger than this._

Rounding a corner, he gazed in wonder at the cluster of brilliant crystals that grew at the cave's very center. On the other side of the rainbow crystals stood his master, or perhaps it was only a vision. Anakin ignored him. _If it's really him, I'll apologize after we're out of this place. _Then again, maybe his master didn't know it was him.

Closing his eyes, Anakin focused on the flow of the Force around him. The Force would guide him, tell him which crystals to take. Removing the handle from his belt, Anakin waited. An image of the weapon handle flashed before his eyes and Anakin traced each curve and line with his mental eyes, wondering at some while he identified others. Again and again, he puzzled over the twisting lines Obi-Wan had pointed out. _Is that my future? Master Yoda says my future is clouded. Or, since there are three lines, is the middle one me and the other two the two halves of the Light Force? _He shuddered. _Or are the outside lines the Dark Force and the Light Force. _His mind supplied him with an image of the masked figure who had said, "Hello, Anakin. Welcome to your future." _I could never be that thing. I would rather die than live as a Sith. I would rather die than live with something that helped me breathe._

_Focus, Anakin. _It was both his master's voice and the voice of the Force.

Anakin took in a breath and exhaled all distractions. At once, his hand moved and he grasped the first crystal. His eyes still closed, he slipped the crystal into place.

"If I didn't know better, I would think you didn't want to look at me."

Anakin's eyes flew open and he stared at the Sith that stood across from him, challenging him. Glaring, Anakin snapped, "I'm not afraid of you. Maybe I don't want to look at you because you're too ugly."

The mask began to melt, and Anakin thought, _Well, now at least I'll see the face the cave wants to show me. _He leaned a little forward, wanting to catch it. But even as he tried to see, the vision stepped back into the shadows. All Anakin could see was that it was a tall man, probably not very old, with the possibility of long hair about its shoulders. _No help there. Some Jedi have long hair, and the Sith might be the same._

"If you're not afraid, come out where I can see you," Anakin said.

"Ah, but I have no reason to submit to your wishes, padawan mine."

Anakin sucked in his breath and took a step back. "No… You said my master made you this way. You can't be Obi-Wan."

"Your master, my master," the vision answered, and it laughed, a long, ragged burst of sound like gravel being thrown against metal. "Don't be in such a hurry to find out who I am, padawan mine."

"Stop saying that!"

"Finish your lightsaber. You still have to get out of here." The vision melted away entirely, leaving Anakin alone with the task of opening himself to the Force once more.

oOo

As the child stirred inside him, Obi-Wan closed his eyes, trying to sink into something close to meditation. His mind was reeling, and he knew it to be more than the effects of the visions that kept calling to him. Desperately, he wished Qui-Gon had stayed with him. _But I can't depend on him anymore, not for my mental well-being, and even if I could, he's gone into the cave. He's one of those few Jedi who can sometimes learn real information from this place._

Forcing his mind back to the task before him, Obi-Wan replayed his final test, restraining his judgmental side, the side that wanted to tell him he was a fool, the side that told him he was weak, that he would always be weak, that he would submit to being raped again and again. It was more difficult than facing the visions the first time.

_But it can be done. All things are possible with the Force. _Knowing this, believing it with every fiber of his being, helped. Obi-Wan replayed the visions twice through, setting each in stone. This should have been done before now, but he'd been busy. Busy being Anakin's Master. Busy learning about the Living Force. Busy not worrying about his child. _Now, though, I have time, even if this isn't the best place for meditation. _And so he half meditated, crouching on the floor instead of sitting, one eye open to watch the visions that approached.

After the visions had gone by twice, Obi-Wan began to sift through them for congruencies. Being touched was the first he came across, and he looked at each situation with as much detachment as he could muster. Two things disturbed him at once: why did he think his first master would ever touch him sexually, and why, in the name of the Light Force, was he afraid of Anakin?

It was fear, and make no mistake; Obi-Wan recognized it at once. Going beyond the usual reticence he exercised when dealing with other beings, the feeling was growing in the back of his mind, defying his reason and even his surface feelings. He liked Anakin. He genuinely did. No two ways about it. Except his fear of Anakin defied his like of the boy. Obi-Wan had always thought fear and liking were opposites, but now he saw they could exist, one on top of the other. _But it's not healthy for them to be so. I have to discover why I'm afraid, especially afraid of Anakin touching me, and resolve the two feelings. If I can't…_

But he refused to let his thoughts go in that direction. They would only lead to what-ifs and plans for a future that he couldn't even see the general shape of yet.

_First step: is this simply my mind extending my fear to all corners? Is there no logical reason for my fear? _He wanted desperately to believe this, but the Force… _It pulls at me, warns me. But of what? And yet, even if I don't know what to be cautious about, the need for caution is still there. _

_But I can't just leave it at that! Anakin is my padawan. I need a reason to fear him or not to fear him._

Then Obi-Wan shook his head. _My mind is running in circles. _Turning his mind to the Force, he tried to compose himself.

"You're so beautiful. I wish I could take you now when you're like this."

_Not again. _Obi-Wan opened his eyes, prepared to tell the vision to just go away; he didn't need any more reminders of how afraid he was. But the sight of the towering, black-caped, black-masked horror before him drew the new master to his feet. His lightsaber was in his hand before he realized he meant to draw it. "Who are you?" Obi-Wan drew the Light Force around, seeking both halves of it to strengthen him.

The raspy-voiced creature laughed. "You know me already. Don't you recognize me, Obi-Wan?"

"As a figment of my imagination? Yes, of course." Obi-Wan holstered his lightsaber. No need to fight a vision, no matter how solid it seemed.

"You're right to be afraid of me. Don't think that I'm no threat. Maybe I'm not now, but give me a few years, and you'll learn what I'm capable of." He chuckled. "And if you were entertaining the idea of taking me in for justice when I turn to the Dark Side, or trying to rehabilitate me, forget it. I'm too far gone, even for eternally-hopeful Qui-Gon. If he, who is so connected to the Living Force, can't help me, what makes you think you have a prayer?"

"I'm not here to bandy words with a vision," Obi-Wan answered, resuming his kneeling position, starting to slip back into half-meditation.

"Aren't you even half curious who I am?" A strong, gloved hand landed on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Knowing who I am might save a lot of lives."

Was the cave trying to communicate with him, as it did with Qui-Gon occasionally? Obi-Wan glanced up. "Who are you, then?"

"Someone you fear, even though you're trying to pretend that no fear's left."

At once, Anakin came to mind, but Obi-Wan dismissed him. "You're only reading the fears I'm trying to learn my way out of. You have nothing to teach me." He closed his eyes. The vision didn't answer, but the silence was unnerving. Against his better judgment, Obi-Wan looked up once again. The towering thing was standing above him, both of its arms raised. In its hands glowed a red-bladed lightsaber, a Sith saber. The vision brought the lightsaber straight down. Obi-Wan rolled away, drawing his lightsaber once more. He raised it to defend himself, and felt the shudder pass through his arm as his lightsaber met the vision's weapon.

Was it a vision?

Obi-Wan cast out into the Force again, needing to know if he was fighting a vision or flesh and blood. The Force insisted there was nothing there except an echo of Obi-Wan's own anxiety. Sighing, releasing his need to fight, Obi-Wan holstered his lightsaber again and stood. "Go ahead. Cut me in half."

"Obi mine! Look out!"

Qui-Gon burst into the small chamber, his lightsaber raised. "Obi mine! Don't let him-"

Obi-Wan hesitated for an instant, and in that moment, he knew the truth. If he had been fighting a true enemy, he would be dead already because of that very hesitation. Smiling, he told the Qui-Gon vision, "Go away."

It did.

The Sith did not. Its blade cleaved the air, meaning to decapitate Obi-Wan. "Don't you know me? I'm-" The lightsaber, less substantial than a bit of smoke, broke on Obi-Wan's chest and dissipated. The vision went with it.

Shaking his head, thanking the Force, Obi-Wan sat down and closed his eyes, slipping completely into meditation.

oOo

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and sank at once into meditation. The cave sang around him, and even though the song was discordant and jarring, it was still a song the Jedi Master wanted to hear. He drew certain lines from the song and set them aside, not to discard them, but to thin out the texture. The melody of Obi-Wan's vision came to him and it took all of Qui-Gon's determination not to come to his former padawan's aid. _Obi-Wan is a Master now. I must remember that. He must face the visions alone, no matter how fervently I wish to protect him._ Likewise, he withdrew Anakin's melody from the song. Anakin had to face the cave's temptations on his own, and if he became desperate, it was Obi-Wan's job to help him.

The cave's shifting harmonies were left to Qui-Gon and he accepted them willingly, letting them wash over him. Images accompanied the strange music and Qui-Gon took these into himself, at first not analyzing; only perceiving.

Anakin wandered through the cave, stumbling from time to time as he was confronted by visions Qui-Gon could not see. Obi-Wan had drawn his lightsaber against a vision, but even as Qui-Gon watched, his former padawan realized his mistake and, holstering his weapon, sat down to meditate. Then the cave took Qui-Gon away from current things and showed him the past and those things that might come to pass.

His red-haired padawan, only ten, struggling to maintain his control over a floating ball. The ball exploded as Obi-Wan allowed his frustration to interfere with his concentration. The image faded, replaced by a twelve-year old Obi-Wan sitting in peaceful meditation as Qui-Gon tried everything to distract him. The Master banged pots, spilled water, yelled, whistled, attempted to engage his young learner in conversation, and even tried to sound a false alarm. That last hadn't worked because Obi-Wan was so deeply in communion with the Force that he could sense calmness all around him. And what had finally broken Obi-Wan's concentration? Another Master-Padawan team had sought out Qui-Gon for help with a problem. Obi-Wan had been embarrassed that something so mundane had pulled him out of his meditation, but he had accepted Qui-Gon's consoling words.

And there was more. Qui-Gon felt as though he was being treated to a most unusual "This is your padawan's life" presentation. Not that he was complaining. He enjoyed the crispness and randomness of the memories, trusting to the Force to show him what it wanted him to see.

Out of the darkness, Obi-Wan's voice came. He sounded afraid and lost. "Master? Master, where are we? I can't sense the Force. Where are we?"

Qui-Gon groaned softly. Well he remembered that day when he and Obi-Wan had plunged into a deep pit. Obi-Wan had only been thirteen and had often lost his connection to the Force when he was afraid or very excited.

The master's voice joined Obi-Wan's: "All's well, Padawan mine. Calm your mind and you will sense the Force. Remember, there is always hope where the Force dwells, and the Force is everywhere."

Obi-Wan drew in a breath and let it out slowly, "Yes, Master."

The music changed from a minor mode to a major key. This time, Anakin was in the vision. He was kneeling before Obi-Wan, accepting his appointment as a padawan learner. An overwhelming feeling of peace permeated the scene; Qui-Gon relished the joyful gleam in Obi-Wan's eyes.

Back to the distant past, with Qui-Gon waking in the middle of the night. He sat up, disoriented. Nothing around him seemed real and he called out to the Force to steady him. But the moment he touched the Living Force, he sensed the disturbance at its core. Only then, when the Force had anchored him in reality, did Qui-Gon hear the screams. Leaping up (the Qui-Gon in the cave had lost himself to the vision, so that he did not move, but experienced the vision as reality) he rushed into his padawan's room. Obi-Wan lay flat on his back, his eyes squeezed shut. His mouth was open and he drew rasping breaths between each panicked cry. Reaching his padawan's side, Qui-Gon touched the fourteen-year old's arm, shaking him slightly. "Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, it's all right. Wake up, Padawan mine. You're safe. Wake up, young one." He touched the boy's mind and saw Xanatos looming over him. He could feel the pain of the penetration as if he himself were being raped, and, over that, blurring the sight of Xanatos's face, Obi-Wan's belief that Xanatos had killed Qui-Gon already, that Obi-Wan was alone. "Obi-Wan! Wake up! You're safe!" He sent the same message through the new, fragile bond they shared, and prayed Obi-Wan would respond. _No one should have to endure such pain, but especially not my Obi-Wan._

The dream began to break, splintering slowly. The pain went first, then Xanatos's face. Last to leave was Obi-Wan's conviction that he had lost Qui-Gon forever. Gasping, Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He squinted up at Qui-Gon, then touched the older man's hand on his arm. "Master? Did I wake you up?"

"It's all right, Obi-Wan; I'm here to be woken up." Qui-Gon sat on the edge of the bed and Obi-Wan moved closer to him. "Obi-Wan, Xanatos is dead. He was drowned in the acidic pit on Telos. He committed suicide. Do you remember?"

Obi-Wan nodded, albeit a bit uncertainly. "Yes, Master."

His voice was too quiet for Qui-Gon's taste. "Obi-Wan, say it. Tell me what happened to Xanatos."

"He-he committed suicide. He's dead."

"Good, Padawan mine. Again."

"Xanatos is… is dead."

"One more time."

"Xanatos is dead."

"That's right." Qui-Gon gripped Obi-Wan's hand with both of his. "And what about me? Am I dead?"

Obi-Wan smiled a little. "No, Master. You're alive. You're talking to me." Obi-Wan tugged at Qui-Gon's hand and his eyes were hopeful.

Qui-Gon smiled, teasing, but also wanting Obi-Wan to get used to voicing his needs. "What is it you want, Padawan mine?"

"Will you stay here for a few minutes?" Obi-Wan blushed in the dimness; Qui-Gon pretended not to notice.

"Yes, Padawan. Always." Smoothing the covers so he could lay on top of them, Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan to him until the red head rested on his shoulder and the small, strong hands were cupped together near his heart.

One more: Obi-Wan, pale as death, too weak to be on his feet, yet lunging at Darth Maul, using his connection to the Force to carry him through. In those moments, he showed how strong he could be. _If only you could remember those times of strength, of deepest connection, my Obi-Wan. Then you wouldn't question yourself quite so often, or be at the mercy of so many memories._

The cave was almost done sending its visions. Two more touched Qui-Gon's mind before he came back to himself.

Anakin (it had to be Anakin, though he was older, maybe thirteen) was standing with his lightsaber held in a defensive posture. Behind him, Obi-Wan lay, motionless, a Force-collar around his neck.

But before Qui-Gon could try to reason that image out, it faded to be replaced by the vision of Obi-Wan fighting back-to-back with that same thirteen-year old Anakin. Their lightsabers moved in a perfect dance that stirred Qui-Gon's heart. The beauty of the battle-dance wasn't lost on him, and he heard the upswing in the music as it kept time with the dance of the Master and his Padawan. Qui-Gon took in the lightening of Obi-Wan's hair and the new beard that was starting on his chin. _Well, it does a little to make him look older, though he still looks like he won't see sixty for another fifty years or so._

Then the cave was done with him, and Qui-Gon came back to himself. After taking a moment to compose himself, he stood. The front of the cave wasn't far away; Qui-Gon went to the entrance and stood there, gazing out at the pristine, brutal beauty of the ice-covered world.

But it seemed the cave wasn't done with him. Either that or the Force had decided that Qui-Gon could take one more image. The bright sun became like blood and shadows sprang up everywhere. The ice turned pink, but the color was closer to tainted water than roses. An echo of the Dark Force called over the snow and Qui-Gon drew the Light Force around him like the shielding cloak it was. He reached out, confident that the Force would protect him as he tried to find the source of the danger.

But the Dark Force danced away from him in a way that reminded him disturbingly of the way Obi-Wan and Anakin had fought, back to back. The movement was elegant, entrancing. Qui-Gon deepened his connection with the Force and tried to follow the shadowy presence.

But it taunted him, flirted with him, then moved off, dissipating as if it had never been there in the first place.

_What was it? _Obi-Wan stepped out of the shadows to join his former master at the cave's entrance. _It was Dark, but I sensed nothing else._

_Nor did I, Pad- Obi-Wan._

Obi-Wan slipped his hand into Qui-Gon's. _I still feel like your padawan. I don't know what I'm doing. I could be leading Anakin in entirely the wrong direction._

Qui-Gon turned to face the younger man, ignoring the stark beauty beyond the cave mouth. _It's too soon to think like that. You've scarcely been his master for a week. Give it time._

Obi-Wan knew an order when he heard one, and he drew his unease into himself, then let it go. _There isn't really any reason for me to feel this way,_ he sent. Then he looked towards the frozen world below them. _What do you think sent the Dark Force? Was it sentient, or just a warning? Is it something in the future or something very nearby?_

_I know not. It troubles me to know that it could be either, or even both, a clear and present danger as well as a future trouble. I sensed no more than you, I think; a wave of the Dark Force, accompanied by no hint of life or intent towards us._

_It wants Anakin._

Qui-Gon's eyes burned into the side of Obi-Wan's head. "What?"

Obi-Wan remained gazing out. "I don't know if that is its first intention, but whoever sent ti out wants Anakin. It called for him, reaching back into the cave, even, to call to him."

"Obi-Wan…" _Those were only the visions, Padawan._

_No, Qui-Gon. There was more. The visions assailed me at first and I was drawn into them for a time- _he guessed that Qui-Gon had sensed his troubles in the cave- _but then, as I meditated in truth, the Force spoke to me, telling me I must protect Anakin, that the Dark Force seeks him, though it doesn't know him yet. He is one of the brightest candles in the Light Force, and when the Dark Force identifies him by face or by name, I must be ready to protect him. Every Jedi must be ready to protect him. You're right, Qui-Gon; Anakin _is_ the Chosen One, but he's going to need protection until he is ready to receive everything the Light Force will give him._

Qui-Gon stood in silence for a moment, realizing how much he had just gainsayed his former padawan. _I am still thinking of him as a padawan, no matter the 'former' I put in my thoughts. I must quit that. Obi-Wan will not grow unless I treat him like the Knight and Master he is. _Except Obi-Wan had already grown; his speech had just shown that. Sighing, Qui-Gon decided, _It is I who will be hurt if I cannot separate our past from our future. Obi-Wan is making the leap well; I must follow. _He sent, _I am sorry, Obi mine. I saw your struggles in the cave and I didn't realize that much could have happened after the cave took my mind to other visions. I am sorry. _He put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders, finding them stiff.

But then Obi-Wan relaxed. "It's all right," he said. "This is difficult for both of us." Then he turned, though Qui-Gon had heard no sound, and said, "It's all right, Anakin. Come out. It's a little chilly, but you'll be able to see better."

Anakin stepped towards them. His tunic and pants were torn, his hair messed, but he was carrying himself with all the radiant gait of a conquering hero. No arrogance shone in his eyes, however; only tranquility and a sense of accomplishment glimmered there. Stepping forward, he knelt before Obi-Wan and presented his weapon.

Obi-Wan touched the handle, but didn't take it. "This is your lightsaber now, Anakin. You should hesitate to let another Jedi take it, unless circumstances make that unavoidable. Please show us what the Force has given you."

Rising, Anakin took a step back and revealed his lightsaber in all its glory. The pristine, blue light made Anakin's face look a little older, a little less like that of a boy. And around the three of them, the Force sang.

"You have done well, Padawan mine," Obi-Wan said. "I'm proud of you."

The world darkened slightly, not in the realm of physical sight, but in terms of the Force. All three of them felt it. Anakin held his lightsaber a little higher and glanced around, seeking the origin of what he sensed.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and reached out, connecting himself to everything around him. The Unifying Force and the Living Force leapt high in his heart, surrounding him. And, in the distance, just beyond the glow of the Force that swirled about him, Obi-Wan sensed the originator of the Dark Force lurking. Obi-Wan pulled back a little, drawing his protective shield closer to him. The Dark Force drew closer to him, creeping forward like a cat ready to spring. Obi-Wan retreated a little more, then threw a net of Light over the nearby presence. For an instant, he faced ber'Nac as if the two of them were standing right next to each other as opposed to being separated by miles and miles of mountains.

Then ber'Nac was yanked back by an even stronger Dark Force and Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon draw him close, surrounding him with Light. A moment later, Anakin was there as well and Obi-Wan relaxed against the both of them. The sense of the Dark Force was gone; there was nothing more he could do.

"What was it?" Anakin asked at once as Obi-Wan opened his eyes. "Was it the Sith Lord, the master of the one that died?"

Qui-Gon blinked at Anakin, then smiled a little. "No, little one. Believe me, you'll know when you're near a Sith." He turned to Obi-Wan. "That was foolish. You should have told me what you were going to do. Don't forget Master Ahleh's admonishment to be careful, even though you too are a Master now."

Obi-Wan bowed slightly, but his eyes flashed. "I didn't want to alert whoever it was to the fact that there was more than one of us here." He was frowning. "Even now I don't know what he sensed. I don't know if he saw me as clearly as I saw him."

"Who was it?" Anakin and Qui-Gon asked together.

"ber'Nac. He's here. And there was another with him, because that other one, stronger than ber'Nac, pulled him back from me before I could learn anything else."

"Did you recognize the second one?" Qui-Gon asked, even as Anakin said, "So when ber'Nac escaped, he came here. Why?"

"I didn't know the second one," Obi-Wan answered. "I couldn't know him; he was surrounded by the Dark Force as if it was a thick cloud." He dropped a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "I don't know why he came here, but we now have to make a decision. Do we try to find and capture him, or do we leave and follow the decree of the Council?"

"Things have changed," Qui-Gon said. "We have to change with them."

"But how can we find him?" Anakin asked. "He wasn't apparent to us before; he could hide now." He looked at the mountains. "There have to be millions of caves. How can we search every one?"

"We can't just leave him here," Qui-Gon said, "but you're right; we can't have any hope of finding him. We'll notify the Jedi Council and they will watch for ships to leave the planet." He started to walk away, but Obi-Wan's voice in his mind stopped him.

_Qui-Gon._

The Master stopped, but didn't turn. _I sense disapproval, former Padawan mine. What is it? Do you think we should search?_

_No, but I was asking Anakin first. I wanted him to make the judgment call this time, to see what he would do. _Obi-Wan was slightly embarrassed, but he pressed on. _I know this is hard, but please let me work with him as you worked with me._

Qui-Gon sensed the resentment and beginnings of hurt feelings in himself and tried to squash them.

_It is your teaching style that I am trying to follow, Beloved, _Obi-Wan sent. _Please let me try to do that on my own. Believe me: I will be continually asking for help. I need you, Qui-Gon, but please let me make a few mistakes right along with Anakin._

_A few minutes ago, you were sure that you could not lead him the way he must go._

_I think that was a residual from the visions and from my final Trials. You're right to question me. But please let me make a few mistakes. If I'm doing something blatantly against the Force, tell me. But…_

_But you want me to sit back and watch. _Qui-Gon was put in mind of the times he had done that and watched Obi-Wan struggle through mistake after mistake until he finally figured things out. That way took a lot longer, but Obi-Wan always came out of it stronger in the Force and his knowledge. Smiling in both their minds, Qui-Gon sent, _All right, Obi mine. I'll try. I can't promise I won't make a mistake, though._

_I know. Thank you._ Obi-Wan turned to Anakin. "Forgive us; just a brief discussion." But Anakin wasn't looking at him, and Obi-Wan reached out, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Anakin? What is it?"

Anakin blinked, focused on Obi-Wan, and said, "I saw a Sith in the cave. He… I don't know who he was, but he felt… he felt like the Dark Force we felt. That's why I thought it was a Sith." He met his master's gaze, and he didn't look hesitant, only determined. "I know ber'Nac's not a Sith, but maybe the one who pulled him back is."

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, reviewing what he had felt in the Force. The one to yank ber'Nac back hadn't felt anything like Darth Maul… _But I was only half myself when I fought Maul. And besides, I didn't get a clear feeling from the one to pull ber'Nac away._

_But Anakin is only a padawan! And he wasn't even raised in the Temple. How can he know more than I do?_

Obi-Wan chuckled; he saw the look of curiosity cross Anakin's face but ignored it for the moment. _I, who have always struggled for a connection with the Force? I'm the last person to question someone who has naturally high Force sensitivity. _Nodding to Anakin, he said, "We'll inform the Council that there might be a Sith here with ber'Nac, but, no matter what, that there are at least two people here."

Anakin glowed.

Clearing his throat, Obi-Wan continued, "Now that you have your weapon, I think we should head off to the next part of our mission." He glanced at Qui-Gon and smiled, wanting all to be well between them. When Qui-Gon smiled back, Obi-Wan relaxed and led the way back to the ship.


	14. Ragoon 6

**Author's Note:** Thank you to all those who have been patiently waiting for this next chapter. I'm amazed at how long this took to write.

Targets of the Dark Force (Ragoon 6)

The air was thinner than Anakin was used to, but by the third day his lungs had adjusted and he was really starting to enjoy himself. He could feel the weight of all his worries drop away, one by one, as he scaled walls of sheer rock and hiked over narrow ridges that extended for miles.

And there was more: he watched Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, who had seemed a little tense around each other, relax and slip back almost into an old groove. Obi-Wan did a little more of the leading, and Anakin followed him, but in other things- conversations, for instance- Qui-Gon usually took the lead, as he had before. And as the two Jedi Masters relaxed, Anakin began to believe that everything would be all right.

On the fourth day, Obi-Wan called Anakin to his side. They were standing at the bottom of a cliff they couldn't get around. "Your turn, Anakin," the Master said. "Find a way up."

Anakin grinned. Until now, Obi-Wan had chosen their way. And while his Master had always chosen correctly, Anakin had hoped he would soon be trusted with that task. _I must have done well meditating last night. _Anakin reached for his cable launcher. Gazing up at the wall, he sought a crevice with his eyes. He couldn't see any. Closing his eyes, he reached up with the Force, and "saw" the ledge at once. He focused on the ledge's position in the Force, then set off the cable.

It missed.

Anakin darted a glance to his right, expecting to see Obi-Wan gazing at him with mildly disapproving eyes. But Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were a few paces away, studying a map. Obi-Wan's eyes, and seemingly all his attention, were on the holographic map.

Anakin turned back to his task. Calling the Force around him, he found the ledge once more. But before he could shoot the cable, the Force nudged him to look a little higher up. Just within the reach of the cable was an outcropping of rock. It couldn't be stood on, as the ledge could, and Anakin wanted to discount it. But the Force continued to nudge him, and Anakin thought, _All right, if you say so. _He shot the cable and this time it caught. Tugging it, Anakin nodded in satisfaction. He looked around for his master, and found Obi-Wan back at his side.

"Excellent, Padawan." Obi-Wan considered the outcropping of rock. "We'll have to send someone up who can balance on that little spike and send the cable up again." He met Anakin's eyes. "Are you ready for that task, Padawan mine?"

Anakin nodded. "Always."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Make sure you're connected completely to the Force before you go up. We'll be here just in case."

As Anakin started up, he heard Qui-Gon ask, "Shouldn't you have directed him towards that ledge?"

"It might have been easier," Obi-Wan answered very quietly.

Anakin tapped into his connection with Obi-Wan as he gained the spike. With his mind divided, it was difficult to balance, but he wanted to hear. He leaned against the mountain, even though it froze his blood, and listened. Obi-Wan said, _But Anakin needs to learn. And I'm fairly sure that spike will hold._

_Do you think he was trying to show off?_

_I sense no arrogance in him. He believes this is the best course of action. _Then, as if realizing that Anakin hadn't moved from his place a third of the way up the cliff, Obi-Wan sent, _Are you all right, Padawan?_

_Yes, Master. _Anakin turned his attention to finding the next cable hold. He saw the next place with his eyes, confirmed it with the Force, and went up. The next hold was a long, wide ledge, and so Anakin stood on it and waited for his master and Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan sent his cable upwards to hook around the same spike Anakin had found. But as he started up, he used the Force to push off against that narrow ledge Anakin had first spotted. The ledge crumbled at once, raining rock down on Qui-Gon, who used the Force to guard himself.

Obi-Wan was thrown a little off-balance by the ledge's brittleness, but he righted himself and gained the spike. A moment later, he joined Anakin on the wide ledge. As they watched Qui-Gon scale the cliff, Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin. "Excellent choice, Padawan mine. The Force showed you options beyond the obvious and you trusted it."

Anakin asked, "Did you know the ledge would break?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, but I suspected it might. You chose the spike; I will always be inclined to trust your judgment, Anakin."

"But I'm only a padawan."

"The Master-Padawan relationship isn't built on the idea of you following everything I teach. A true Master-Padawan relationship is built on mutual trust and mutual respect. If I didn't listen to your ideas and let you try them, I wouldn't be a very good Master. And the same goes for trust. I must always be ready to weigh what I feel is right against what you feel is right, and choose between the two."

"So you won't always take my way…"

"But I'll consider it every time. Yes."

Anakin grinned. "Do you want to lead the last bit?"

"Thank you, Padawan, but no. This is your cliff. Lead on."

oOo

Three months to the day since they landed on Ragoon 6, Anakin found his mind quiet and still. Every part of his mind seemed to be taken up with sensory input. He drew the chilly air in through his nose, savoring the no-smell of it. Then the wind shifted and he inhaled the rich, fragrant campfire smoke, relishing the feeling of safety that came with it. The fire talked to itself in a soft, insistant voice, and Anakin lost himself in listening to it. But he was soon drawn to the sound of Qui-Gon searching in his pack for something.

And as his eyes wandered from the older Jedi Master to his own Master, the boy's attention was caught by the serene expression on Obi-Wan's face. _Of course he's serene; he's meditating. He meditates every night before we go to sleep. And sometimes he's still meditating when I fall asleep. _Anakin's eye traveled from Obi-Wan's closed eyes to his hands, which rested in his lap, and to the swollen curve of the man's belly. Obi-Wan was starting to show, and many times Anakin would watch Qui-Gon rubbing his hand back and forth over Obi-Wan's stomach, or even resting his head there to listen.

His gaze continued down and he wondered, for the hundredth time, it seemed, how Obi-Wan could walk when his ankles were so swollen.

_I know it's hard for him. We have to rest at midmorning, at noon, and three hours before sunset so Obi-Wan can get off his feet. But he keeps going, keeps trying to walk. We've started our journey back to our ship, but it took us three months to get this far, and that was before Obi-Wan had to rest. Will we make it back in time for him to have the baby, or will he have to give birth out here? _Anakin shivered. _I don't know how to deliver a baby, and I bet Qui-Gon doesn't know, either._

As his eyes traveled back to Obi-Wan's face, Anakin relaxed by the tiniest margin. Obi-Wan's expression was unfailingly serene.

_He could be hiding himself from me. He could he putting a good mask on. _But when he reached out to the Light Force, Anakin felt it hum around Obi-Wan, both halves swirling around him in tandem. Some of the tension in the padawan's shoulders eased. Whatever Obi-Wan might be suffering, his connection to the Force was stronger than ever.

Qui-Gon surfaced from his search. He was holding two small stones, one blue, the other green. He held them in his hands and smiled at them as though they were children. Then he glanced at Anakin and gestured for the boy to join him. "These stones are Force-sensitive, Anakin," he whispered, his lips barely moving. "I gave Obi-Wan one of these when he turned thirteen." Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon seemed to draw strength from the stones. He handed one to Anakin.

"It's warm!"

"Yes. It's a reminder that the Force is always with us. That one is for you. This one-" he held up the stone and smiled at it again- "is for our little one, whenever he or she arrives."

Anakin turned the stone in his hands. It felt wonderful, as if the Force was something he could touch with his hands, not just with his mind. "But… But shouldn't Master Obi-Wan be giving me something like this?"

"We already talked about it," Qui-Gon answered. "He has time to plan for your gift. Besides, he said he didn't want to copy me." The master winked.

"Okay. Thanks." Anakin moved to tuck the stone into his pocket.

The world of the Force exploded and Anakin dropped the stone as his hands flew to his temples. The Dark Force that roared around him felt like an ice pick digging through his skin. Dimly, he realized that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were up and ready, but he couldn't move. The sensation intensified and he gasped as the world seemed first to light up, as with a lightning flash, then dimmed until he couldn't see Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon anymore.

"Master? Master, where are you?" Anakin reached out with the Force, still calling. The Dark Force tightened around him, cutting him off from everything he knew about the Light Force.

_Wait. The stone is Force-sensitive. Maybe- _Squashing his fear, Anakin began to feel around for the fallen gift. A hand seized his wrist in the darkness and Anakin jumped, trying to pull away. Logic told him it was Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon, but the Dark Force was seeping into his mind, blotting out his reason.

"Anakin! Anakin, hold still." Hands gripped the padawan's shoulders and the hand on his wrist squeezed for a moment before easing up. "Everything's all right, Padawan mine. Center yourself and reach out. I'm here. Our bond is still intact. Access it." The hands on Anakin's shoulders were drawn away and two hands held Anakin's one. The Force-sensitive stone was pressed into his palm.

At once, warmth radiated from the place where the rock touched and Anakin followed the new-made link outwards, calling the Force to him.

Almost at once, he felt Obi-Wan's presence in his mind and he relaxed. The darkness vanished as if it had never been, and Anakin blinked up at the concerned face of his master. Obi-Wan crouched before him, his eyes intense.

"Anakin?"

"Yes, Master." Anakin dropped his eyes. "I'm sorry I panicked. I couldn't feel the Force, not the right one. It was like being drowned in space with no stars."

"Don't be hard on yourself, young one. The Dark wave was very strong." Obi-Wan glanced over his shoulder to where Qui-Gon was standing, his hand on his lightsaber hilt, his eyes questing in the darkness of evening. "Anything?"

"No. Whatever it was, it's gone now." Qui-Gon relaxed his posture with what to Anakin looked like an obvious effort, and returned to the fire. He took his seat again and urged Obi-Wan to do the same. "You walked more today than yesterday."

"I felt stronger today," Obi-Wan answered, his eyes moving back to Anakin. "Listen to me. The Force isn't just 'out there, everywhere.' It's in you. You can always find the Force in yourself, Anakin. When we connect to the Living Force or the Unifying Force outside ourselves, that is because we seek the information and energy the Force can give us. But a kernel of that same Force lives in you. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, reach into yourself first. Connect the Force in you to the Force outside and you will be much stronger than if you just depend on what is around you. The Force is everywhere, but sometimes we can't access it." Obi-Wan wobbled slightly.

"Please sit down, Master. I'm okay."

Obi-Wan obeyed, smiling. "You look as though you want to ask me something."

"Why couldn't I touch the Force? Why was I cut off so completely?"

"Well, I'm not the Force, but I have two thoughts, but they come to the same: you were unprepared. As a Jedi, you must always have a shield ready in your mind. That shield will protect you. Also, because you have never been so overwhelmed by the Dark Force before, you weren't ready to deal with the tide of emotions it brought. Not just fear, but anger, lust, drive, hatred. Did you sense all those things?"

Anakin shook his head. "I'm sorry, Master."

"Don't apologize, Padawan. You're new to this. Am I right in guessing that most of what you felt was fear?"

Anakin nodded, trying not to show how disgusted he was with himself.

"Take in a breath. Hold on to whatever is distracting you at this moment. Good. Now, let it go." Obi-Wan took Anakin's hand again. "When we are touched by the Dark Force, it touches each of us in the best way it can: it seeks out the emotion that we battle with and reflects that emotion back to us." He darted a glance at Qui-Gon, who nodded. Looking back at Anakin, Obi-Wan said, "For you and me, the Dark Force reflects fear. But it's different for all Jedi. For Qui-Gon, the Dark Force reflects anger. Do not be ashamed of what the Dark Force showed you; learn from it. If fear is your most powerful negative emotion, meditate on it. Only by seeking help from the Light Force can you hope to challenge the Dark Force when it comes."

"Do you meditate against fear every night?" Anakin asked.

Obi-Wan smiled. "Yes, Anakin, I do."

"But Master, you've been working against fear for a long time! Isn't it ever going to go away?"

"Usually our strongest emotions don't disappear entirely. They are part of what makes us who we are. But they cease to have power over us. The moment the Dark Force reflected fear back to me, I was able to combat it with what the Light Force has taught me about dissipating fear. And someday soon you will be able to do the same. You're a quick learner, Anakin; this is just a new lesson. Being a Jedi is more than-"

Anakin yawned, trying unsuccessfully to hide it. "I'm sorry, Master."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "I'm turning into the lecturing teachers I dreaded so much when I was a padawan. It's all right, Anakin. Get some sleep. We'll talk more about this in the morning." Obi-Wan rose, wincing. He put a hand to his stomach, then sighed.

Anakin squirmed into his sleeping bag. He watched Obi-Wan move towards Qui-Gon around the edge of the campfire. "Master?"

Obi-Wan glanced over his shoulder. "Yes?"

"Who sent the Dark Force this time?"

"I don't know, Anakin. We didn't sense any intelligence behind it. Perhaps it was a warning."

"Of what?" Anakin sat up.

"Lay down, Anakin. There's no way to know anything more just now. Tomorrow may provide more answers. For a certainty, we are safe for the night."

Anakin's eyes were closing. "Good night, Master."

"Good night, Padawan mine. Surround yourself with the Light Force before you rest. It will calm you."

Anakin yawned again. "Yes, Master." In moments, he was asleep.

Obi-Wan sat beside Qui-Gon. "I don't like this. The first time, it was ber'Nac. Now we can't know what it is. Surely it's not the malia."

"Obi mine, dangerous the native animal hunters of Ragoon might be, but Force-sensitive they are not." Qui-Gon kissed his lover gently. "I don't have any more answers than you gave Anakin. Surely you know that."

"Yes, I know." Obi-Wan groaned softly and leaned back on his hands. Gazing at the stars, he said, "It's only that I feel as though we're a target for the Dark Force."

"Obi mine, we're Jedi. Of course we're a target. You're a Knight now; please don't make me take you back to Temple and teach you all over again."

"But more than most Jedi," Obi-Wan went on as if Qui-Gon hadn't spoken. "It's been drawn to each of us in different ways. Xanatos turned from you, ber'Nac found me, and ber'Nac called to Anakin, even if he didn't know what he wanted. Or maybe it was the other that called to Anakin. Whoever it was, we're being stalked, or that's what it feels like." He shifted and his hand went to his lower belly. He rubbed it distractedly.

"Are you in pain, love?" Qui-Gon reached out and brushed Obi-Wan's hair out of his face. He saw the sweat glistening on Obi-Wan's brow. "Are you hot?"

"No, just…" Obi-Wan gasped. "Qui-Gon, I think-" But before he could say what he thought, his face cleared and he relaxed, sighing. "It's not yet," he said. "I think I overdid it today, though. No more skipping mid-afternoon rest, no matter how good I feel at the time."

Qui-Gon placed the Force-sensitive stone against Obi-Wan's belly. "Was that a contraction?"

"No. I'm still two months away from delivering, Qui-Gon. It was _not _a contraction."

"You sound more determined than sure," his lover answered.

"I'm seven months pregnant. It can't be a contraction." Obi-Wan closed his eyes. "I need to sleep. Will you douse the fire?"

Qui-Gon didn't move. "If you really need help, Obi mine, I'll run ahead and fly the ship back this way."

"No." Obi-Wan's eyes had snapped open. "Don't even suggest it. I'm not sure Anakin and I could hold off the malia without you. And they're not like most animals: they can climb, they can swim, they're fast as lightning-"

"All right, Obi mine, all right. Forget I suggested it." Qui-Gon sighed. "But no matter how much we rest tomorrow, we have to keep moving."

"I know that." But the hand Obi-Wan put on his lover's arm softened his words. "I'm sorry, but I think the mood swings have started. I should meditate some more."

"You've meditated enough for one night. Go to sleep. I'll watch over you." He helped Obi-Wan get comfortable.

"Don't stay up all night watching over me," Obi-Wan said, suppressing a yawn with hardly more skill than Anakin.

"I won't. Sleep now," Qui-Gon moved his hand a little.

"Don't try those Jedi mind tricks on me." Obi-Wan smiled. "But since it's a good suggestion, I'll listen to you anyway." His eyes drifted closed.

Qui-Gon doused the fire. His eyes were drawn again and again to his sleeping lover, and each time he thought of the baby growing inside Obi-Wan, a thrill ran through him from head to toe. It wasn't a pleasant sensation.

oOo

Anakin shook the tree with his hands, his eyes trained on the swaying, red fruit above. It was dinnertime and Qui-Gon had sent him back along the trail to collect some of the ripe 'puls they had both noticed. Normally, they would have stopped and collected the fruit together, but Obi-Wan was dizzy and weak. He needed to find a clearing where he could rest and the malia couldn't set upon them by stealth. And since he had already fought two packs of malia, Anakin wanted the open ground almost as much as Obi-Wan needed it. The young padawan wasn't afraid of the creatures; he'd felt more in control once he'd actually seen them. But fear and respect weren't the same thing.

Anakin shook the 'pul tree harder. _Qui-Gon must really trust me to let me get these alone. _

_Either that or he's so worried about Obi-Wan that he's not worried about sending me off for a few minutes. _Anakin frowned and slammed his palm against the tree in frustration. _That's probably it. Obi-Wan is _everything _to him._

_Be mindful of your anger, Padawan. It is a distraction._

Anakin was instantly ashamed of his thoughts, but he put the feeling aside and reached out to deepen the bond. Obi-Wan had been keeping his distance from both Anakin and Qui-Gon all morning, insisting that he needed to commune with only the Force for a while. Now that his master was talking to him, Anakin was more than willing to reforge the connection.

Obi-Wan stopped him before he could get too close. _I'll let you feel what I am feeling, if you still want to, when you return to camp. For now, I'd like you back in camp as son as possible. The malia always grow bolder as the sun sets._

The genuine love and concern in Obi-Wan's voice made Anakin forget any anger he might have had. The padawan shook the tree again. _As soon as I get some 'puls down I'll come back, Master._

Obi-Wan smiled; Anakin sensed it over the connection. _Try using the Force._

Anakin started to ask how he could do that when excruciating pain ripped from his head to his thighs. He fell against the tree, just catching himself with his hands. Even as he struggled to breathe, he understood that the pain wasn't really his. _Master! Master Obi-Wan! _Anakin pushed himself away from the tree and staggered down the trail. The pain ebbed and flowed, granting him all-too-brief respites before returning, just as strong. He sensed that Obi-Wan was fighting something, but Anakin couldn't tell what it was. He prayed the malia hadn't dared the clearing.

Leaping around the final turn before the camp, Anakin tripped over a stone. He caught himself and approached the campfire. No malia in sight. Obi-Wan lay on his back by the fire; his hands were fisted at his sides. The pain had receded from Anakin's body, but he knew just by looking at his Master's face that Obi-Wan was simply blocking him again. Anakin thought about demanding to be allowed to help, but a thought occurred to him that he couldn't shake: maybe Obi-Wan was blocking Anakin from the pain so he _could_ help.

Dropping to his knees at his master's side, Anakin took Obi-Wan's hand. At once, Obi-Wan gripped Anakin's hand as he sought surcease of pain.

"I'm here, Master," Anakin said, keeping his voice steady. He glanced at Qui-Gon, who was tending a pan of slowly-heating water. The padawan's eyes widened when he saw the knife Qui-Gon was sharpening. "What are you going to do with that?"

Qui-Gon didn't look at him. "Remove Obi-Wan's tunic. And keep him still."

"I'm not a padawan." Obi-Wan let go of Anakin's hand and tried to open the two fastenings at the top of his tunic. Then another contraction ran through him and he sucked air between his teeth. He smiled at Anakin as the padawan took his hand. "All right; I can still take orders. I'm sorry, Anakin. That wasn't fair to you."

Anakin shook his head. He'd barely registered the insult to his rank "Master, you're hurt. I-" Obi-Wan winced and Anakin tightened his grip. "It's all right, Master. The pain will pass. We just have to take more rests and-"

"No, Anakin." It was getting hard for Obi-Wan to speak clearly. "The pain will only pass when the baby's born." Throwing his head back, Obi-Wan stared at the darkening sky. Sweat streaked down his skin. He bit his lip, then said, "Anakin, open my tunic all the way. You'll have to cut it."

Anakin fumbled for his knife. When he held the blade upright in his hand, he wasn't sure he could use it. His fingers, his hand, his whole arm, felt too clumsy.

Obi-Wan met his padawan's troubled gaze. "The Force will guide you. Reach out to it."

Anakin obeyed, releasing his anxiety. At once, the Force filled him and he relaxed into it. He cut away the fabric of Obi-Wan's pull-over tunic without incident. "Now what?"

"Now get behind him and hold his shoulders." Qui-Gon had joined them with the knife and the water. "Obi mine, drop your shield and connect to the Living Force."

"…I don't… want Anakin to feel…" He shuddered strongly. "Anakin…"

"I'm here, Master," Anakin was behind Obi-Wan now and Qui-Gon lifted his former padawan so Obi-Wan's head and shoulders rested in Anakin's lap. "I'll be all right. Just reach out to the Force. It will help you."

Qui-Gon set the water aside and made sure the knife edge was keen. "Grip his shoulders tightly. Don't let up for an instant. You can help him as you did on Naboo."

"No!" Obi-Wan thrashed. "Anakin, I don't want you to feel-"

"You have no choice," Qui-Gon said. "The baby's coming now."

Anakin reached for Obi-Wan. At first, he felt only the wall around his master's mind, but then it fell and agony flew from Obi-Wan's mind to his. The young padawan bore down on the shoulders under his hands and struggled to speak clearly. "I'm here, Master. It will be over soon."

Qui-Gon rested the tips of his fingers on Obi-Wan abdomen. "Draw in the Living Force, both of you." He studied the skin before him for a moment. "Hold very still."

The pain in Anakin's mind was suddenly blotted out by a wave of the Dark Force twice as strong as the one he'd felt the day before. The fear came with it, but before Anakin could begin to fight it, he heard a voice say, _Stay away from my padawan._ At once, the wave receded and Anakin was drawn close to his master. Obi-Wan was still in pain, but the Living Force had filled him, helping to ease his suffering.

Qui-Gon made the first cut.

oOo

Obi-Wan screamed. Tears leaked out from beneath his tightly-closed lids. His hands were balled into fists at his sides. He held himself almost as still as stone, only gasping between screams. Only Anakin knew that Obi-Wan's cries were not wholly derived from the pain he endured. Qui-Gon had sealed his mind so that he wouldn't be distracted by his lover's pain. He couldn't feel the Dark Force that swirled around Obi-Wan and his still-unborn child. For the moment, the Dark wave ignored Anakin, but sent Obi-Wan vision after terrifying vision even as it gnawed, reduced, and finally broke his connection to the Living Force. Only the Unifying Force that had lived, natural and far stronger than the Living Force within Obi-Wan saved the young Master from going insane. He couldn't feel Anakin trying to reach him, but he heard his padawan's voice sometimes, and that, too, helped.

Qui-Gon, meanwhile, struggled to remove the tiny miracle before Obi-Wan could bleed to death. He moved quickly, but his lack of connection to the Force slowed his hands. At last, knowing that the birthing was taking too long, and disturbed by what he saw as Obi-Wan's lack of control, Qui-Gon dropped his shields. Only then did he feel the Dark Force coursing around him. Casting out a net of the Light Force, Qui-Gon attempted to shield Obi-Wan, Anakin and himself even as he worked with the Living Force to slow Obi-Wan's bleeding.

Not even he had the strength to do all of this. _Besides, _he thought bitterly, _the net isn't protecting Obi-Wan from even the least of the attack. _Focusing his entire connection to the Force on the fragile life of child and papa, Qui-Gon drew the baby out, slapping it gently and cutting the umbilical cord.

And as Obi-Wan's daughter took her first breath to cry, the Dark Force sank its teeth into Obi-Wan's mind. The young master lost the ability to scream. His sudden silence frightened Anakin and Qui-Gon more than his scream.

Obi-Wan couldn't breathe.

"Master!" Anakin pounded on the dark wall that stood in his way. "Master! Breathe!"

Qui-Gon thrust the bloody, wailing baby into Anakin's arms and began to heal Obi-Wan's wounds with bandages, a poultice of bacta and the Living Force, which increased the speed of the bacta. His eyes burned like blue flames and his mouth was drawn down in concentration. Silently he sent, over and over, _Obi-Wan, breathe. You can. Breathe. Obi-Wan…_

oOo

Six figures, all shrouded in darkness, surrounded Obi-Wan, circling him like vultures. Obi-Wan huddled in a spotlight of the Unifying Force. He lacked the strength to take the offensive, but the Unifying Force was holding his attackers at bay for the time being.

The man didn't know he had stopped breathing.

_...ster O..an…_

_Obi...reathe…breathe!_

Obi-Wan's attackers pressed close around the edge of the light. _Give up, little Jedi. Give up. You don't have the strength to resist us. Give up._

But they didn't dare the light, and that gave Obi-Wan a little of the strength he'd been lacking. And as he pushed himself to a sitting position, he drew a breath. His lightsaber appeared in his hand and Obi-Wan reached out beyond his enemies, seeking both the Unifying Force inside and outside himself and the Living Force that he knew awaited only his reach.

The shadows moved a step closer, but they held no terror for Obi-Wan any longer. As the Light Force surged through him, Obi-Wan stood, brandishing his weapon. _Face me or depart. Don't hide in darkness anymore._

The shrouded figures retreated, leaving room for the pool of Unifying Force to grow. But before they departed, one of them whispered, _We came only in response to the child. When she is ready, she will fulfill her destiny in us._

Then the shadows were gone and Obi-Wan was alone in his mind.

Nodding to himself, Obi-Wan sheathed his imaginary lightsaber and started the difficult journey to the surface of his mind.

oOo

Anakin stared at the baby in his arms for a moment, then set her in his lap. Quickly, he used his knife to cut away part of the tunic he wore. Calling the bowl of hot water to him with the Force, he dipped the corner of the tunic in and began to wash the blood away. In his mind, he was calling to his master again and again, but there was nothing he could do physically, so he used his hands. It was cold in the clearing, certainly no place for a baby with no clothes on.

Obi-Wan drew in a breath and let it out. His eyes were closed and he didn't seem aware of the world around him. _But he's breathing. Everything else can wait. _Anakin grinned and began to hurriedly clean the baby, removing all the blood, but wanting to wrap the child up as quickly as possible. A stiff breeze had sprung up and was whistling among the trees.

When Anakin had finished, he glanced up, thinking he needed to find something warm to bundle around the little girl. She had stopped crying and had fallen asleep.

Qui-Gon, bare-chested in the wind, tossed Anakin his tunic. When the baby was safely bundled into the cloth, Anakin dared to look at his master's abdomen. The blood there was gone, replaced by the bacta poultice. Qui-Gon was rummaging through their packs, looking for more clothes to replace the ones they had all lost.

Obi-Wan's head had slid down a little so it was resting on Anakin's ankles instead of his lap. Now the Master groaned and opened his eyes. His hand went to the poultice, but Anakin caught his wrist.

"Master, you're healing. Lay still."

Obi-Wan turned his head slightly so that he could see Anakin smiling down at him. "Hello, Padawan mine. You seem to have held up well through all this." Then his eyes rested on the bundle in Anakin's arms. "Is that… Is she all right?"

Anakin nodded. "She's asleep." He held the baby so Obi-Wan could see her face. The red peach fuzz of her hair made Obi-Wan smile.

"Annie Jinn Kenobi," Obi-Wan murmured. Then he met Anakin's eyes. "If you don't mind me giving her your nickname. But you helped bring her into this world. It's only right that she should be named for the padawan that I am so proud of."

Anakin blushed. "Master, you don't have to do that…"

Obi-Wan reached up, touching Anakin's arm. "Look at her and tell me she doesn't look like an Annie."

Anakin frowned. _She looks more like Obi-Wan to me._ But when he looked at his master, the boy felt compelled to agree. Obi-Wan wanted to name his baby Annie; Anakin wanted only to make his master happy. "Okay, Master. Her name is Annie Jinn Kenobi." He paused. "But won't the Council have something to say about that? I mean, they don't want all the Jedi to know that sometimes love is allowed, right?"

Obi-Wan smiled. "Yes, Anakin, that's true." He glanced down at the poultice, then at Qui-Gon, who had returned from emptying the bloody water and cleaning the knife a safe distance from their camp. No need to draw more attention to themselves than was strictly necessary. Obi-Wan's gaze was clouded for a moment, but then his smile shone forth again. "You would both make excellent midwives." He frowned, pretended to consider. "Though I don't know if I could stand to see you both in white dresses."

Anakin was more than willing to smile and go along with his master's light mood, even though he wanted to know exactly what had attacked his master and why. _Simple: it was the Dark Force. That just leaves the why._

Qui-Gon took Annie from Anakin and handed the boy a fresh tunic. "Here." He crouched beside Obi-Wan. "You're going to need to heal through the night, Obi mine. But you should be strong enough to travel in the morning." He held Obi-Wan's gaze. _We have much to discuss._

_I know. _Obi-Wan looked away. "Anakin, would you mind handing me my tunic? Qui-Gon left it by my pack. If I can't wear it, at least I can cover up."

Anakin laid the tunic over his master. His eyes were serious. "Master, who sent the Dark Force again? And why was it trying to attack you? It seemed to have intelligence behind it, a mind driving it. But I couldn't sense anyone."

"Why do you think someone sent it?" Qui-Gon asked, laying the baby in Anakin's arms so he could slip into his own tunic. He gazed at the boy, very much aware that he and Anakin were unconsciously sitting in such a way as to be able to move if they needed to defend Obi-Wan. Then he realized Obi-Wan was laying flat on the ground. Not a problem for a healthy Jedi, Qui-Gon didn't like the way Obi-Wan had to tilt his head to look at them. He fetched a pack and moved Obi-Wan so he reclined on it as comfortably as possible. He was about to talk to Obi-Wan about something, anything trivial, just to get his lover to look at him when Anakin answered his question

"The Dark Force is like the Light Force; it doesn't usually send specific images. Right?"

"Some Jedi can have visions," Obi-Wan answered. "But you're right in that it isn't a frequent occurrence." His eyes were closed, but his voice was still awake and aware. "Do you think someone intentionally sent me the visions to either distract me or hurt me?"

Anakin nodded. "Yes. Why else would you get visions of darkness and suffering?"

"Do you remember me telling you that the Dark Force identifies and amplifies our strongest negative emotion?"

"Yes, Master, but-"

"And isn't that what you're describing?"

"Yes, Master, but this felt…" He groped for a word. "Different. Very different. There was definitely intelligence behind the visions."

"There is intelligence behind the Light Force, too. Back when you and I first met, I talked to you about trusting in the Force. You asked me if the Force could think. Do you remember that?"

Anakin was nodding again. "But, Master, it didn't feel like that. Something else had to be going on."

"Why?" Obi-Wan's voice was fading.

"Enough for tonight," Qui-Gon said. "Get some sleep, Anakin. I will see to our little one." He took Annie back from the boy.

"Wait." Obi-Wan's eyes opened and he reached out for Anakin. "There's always a reason we believe something. Let me tell you why I think it was solely the Dark Force."

"Obi-Wan, do you have the strength for this?" Qui-Gon gripped Obi-Wan's arm. _And will you have the strength to talk with me later?_

"Yes. Padawan mine, the Dark Force spoke to me before it departed. Now, you and I know that the Dark Force can never be trusted. Be that as it may, sometimes a kernel of truth can be found in the lies. That we must judge as time passes. Here's what it said to me: 'We came only in response to the child. When she is ready, she will fulfill her destiny in us.' No one else knew I was having a baby besides you, Qui-Gon and the Council. So no one else could have sent the message."

"But whoever it was said 'we.' The Dark Force is only one. Maybe someone found out through the Dark Force. The Dark Force can be used to read minds, right?"

"Only when two people are in close contact," Qui-Gon said.

"Or when one is very weak." Obi-Wan frowned. "It's possible. And if it was a Sith, we don't know the extent of the powers one so deep in the Dark Force could command. But…" He looked from one face to the other. "But we are a target for the Dark Force, so why couldn't that side of the Force send us messages without an intermediary? The Light Force does that at times. What would stop the Dark Force from doing the same?"

"We're being watched by the Dark Force?" Anakin asked.

"Obi-Wan, there is no evidence-"

"How?" the padawan continued.

"The Dark Force doesn't single out Jedi," Qui-Gon said.

"But if the Dark Force can attack Jedi specifically, why can't-"

"The Dark Force attacks Force-sensitives not just Jedi."

Obi-Wan held up his hands. "Please stop." His soft voice halted the argument at once. "None of us knows everything about the Dark Force; we don't even know half of what there is to know about the Light Force, even when we put all our knowledge together. Let's not argue about this anymore. When we return to the Temple, we'll bring our debate before the Council. They will help us find a direction to follow." He yawned. "And now, I must sleep." He sighed. "But Annie needs to be fed. Qui-Gon, we must find a wild g'hoat. They're everywhere on Ragoon 6 and their milk is very close to that of a human." He yawned again. "And then we must get back to Coruscant."

oOo

Anakin spent a restless night. Whenever he managed to fall asleep, nightmares assailed him. They were all pretty much the same, but Anakin did his best to keep them separate, sure that doing so was important somehow.

Each time he awoke, he filed away the common elements and then set aside the unusual things. The young padawan wasn't sure he'd be able to keep everything separate, but he tried.

Common elements: an older Obi-Wan, at lest ten or fifteen years older than the one Anakin saw before him. An upraised lightsaber, its blade red. Obi-Wan's face was tainted red by the light, but it looked as if he'd been dipped in blood. An indistinct shape loomed over Obi-Wan's shoulder. Anakin couldn't see it clearly, or even guess what it was. But it was always there.

Unique elements: sometimes Obi-Wan stood still, sometimes he brought his lightsaber up to challenge the red one. More: Obi-Wan backed up twice, and each time his eyes were lit with more fear than Anakin ever thought his master could possess, let alone allow to show. And once, another lightsaber joined Obi-Wan's. Anakin cuoldn't see who wielded it, but this was the only time Anakin heard sound. Obi-Wan said, "No. You don't want to fight next to him. Come home. Please come home."

The sixth time Anakin woke up, it was dawn. He went to the low-burning fire and warmed his hands, then fed the blaze with a few small sticks to bright it back. He watched Obi-Wan sleep beside Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon was holding the baby on his chest as he slept, and one of Obi-Wan's hands rested on the older man's arm, near the baby's head.

_I'll have to start calling her Annie sooner or later. I might as well start now._ Anakin glanced around the clearing, scanning the tree line for unfriendly eyes. Not that he would always be able to spot the malia coming, but he wanted to make sure he at least checked.

"You're up early." Obi-Wan's soft words drew Anakin's attention and he left the fire to sit beside his master. Obi-Wan looked stronger than he had the night before, and Anakin breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Unsure of how to answer his master, the boy simply nodded.

"Do you want to tell me why?" Obi-Wan shifted, pulling the tunic back to reveal the poultice. He touched it lightly, nodded, and removed it. The cuts Qui-Gon had made were little more than discolored scratches. Obi-Wan smiled, sat up, and slipped into the tunic. "Much better." He gazed at his padawan, letting the boy know without words that he was waiting.

Quietly, not wanting to wake Qui-Gon or the baby, Anakin told his master everything, starting with the commonalties between the nightmares. When he was done, he bit his lip and searched his master's face for a reaction.

"Why do you call these dreams of yours nightmares?"

Anakin blinked. "I… Should I just call them dreams?"

"No. You should call them whatever your heart tells you to call them. If they were nightmares, call them so. But _why_ were they nightmares?"

"You were fighting a Sith. No." _That's not right. _Anakin switched to their mind connection, wondering why he hadn't thought of it in the first place. He sent, _You were cornered by a Sith. You had nowhere to go. And sometimes you fought, and then it was just a dream, because I thought you would win. But sometimes you just stood there and I couldn't read your expression. And two times you backed up, and I saw how afraid you were. Those were nightmares because I thought you would die._ The boy blushed. _When I was asleep, I couldn't tell I was asleep._

_Most dreams are like that, Padawan mine. _Obi-Wan had taken Anakin's hand. _I beg you to remember that. Aside from that, let's talk about the reasons a Jedi would refrain from fighting._

_But, Master, it was a Sith! You couldn't talk to him!_

_A Jedi's first job is diplomacy. _Obi-Wan was silent for a moment. _And now on to the second, more uncomfortable possibility. If I seemed afraid, and was unable to hide this from my opponent, then maybe I wasn't strong at the time. But heed me, my very young padawan: even if I die in fear someday, I will still die in the Light Force and so I will not be overtaken by the Dark Force. Believe that. _He could feel Anakin's fight against that idea. _You aren't quite ready to accept death as a natural part of life. More training will help you in that area, I think. And some time must pass before you are truly ready._

_But please remember that these were only nightmares. They might be visions, but their very lack of congruency makes that hard to believe. And even if they were visions, they will not occur for a decade or more. Let's concern ourselves with today. Keep them in the back of your mind. Maybe they will teach you something new. But don't let them rule your every thought and action. If you want, we can discuss these nightmares with the Council when we talk about our debate._

_You rely on the Council a lot, _Anakin sent, then winced. _Master, I didn't mean that the way it sounded._

Obi-Wan smiled across their connection. _Please always speak the truth like that to me, Anakin. Please always be willing to tell me what you believe. Only then can we work together as a padawan and master team should. As to my looking to the Council, I will always seek knowledge from those who are wiser than I am. I will not always follow their commands, but I will weigh their ideas as much as my own will allow before acting. Only then can I learn. And I don't just listen to the Council. I listen to the Force, to my heart, to Qui-Gon, to you, and to the many friends Qui-Gon and I have made over the years. _Obi-Wan waited a moment, to make sure Anakin had taken all oft hat in. Then he stood. _Let's wake Qui-Gon and get moving._

Anakin scrambled to his feet. _Can you travel, Master?_

_Not as well as I could when we first came here, but certainly better than yesterday. I'll make it, Padawan mine. We have to keep moving. We can't talk to the Council without being back at the ship. _Obi-Wan laid a hand on his padawan's shoulder. _Anakin, I need to talk to you about something serious._

_I thought everything we discussed was serious. _Anakin gazed up at his master in confusion.

Obi-Wan nodded. _Much of it is. Maybe serious isn't the word I meant. But I need you to take what I say and weigh it carefully in your own mind. What I'm about to tell you is as important as anything I teach you about communing with the Force. Will you promise to think on what I say, think but don't speak until you've formed yoru own conclusion?_

_Yes, Master. _Anakin wanted to ask if he was about to hear some deep secret about the Force, the Jedi, or both, but didn't. The gaze his master turned on him was unfailingly determined and fierce, as if Obi-Wan was about to enter a battle for life and death.

_Here's the statement you must weigh: Qui-Gon is not cruel or foolish, only human. _Obi-Wan waited until he was sure Anakin had received the message, then he went to where his lover lay and touched his shoulder, speaking softly.

All that day, as the three of them traveled, as Qui-Gon caught and brought a g'hoat along with them, Anakin turned his master's words over and over in his mind. At first, he was completely willing to agree with Obi-Wan and couldn't see why his master had stressed that he listen only and meditate on the words without voicing his opinion.

But as the sun climbed towards noon and hung there briefly, new thoughts came into Anakin's mind. Memories of Qui-Gon sending him back along the trail to pick 'puls were overshadowed by what Anakin saw as Qui-Gon's unnecessary anger at Obi-Wan's mistakes. And other sensed arguments enveloped these sure recollections. He'd heard Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan arguing on the shuttle back from Naboo, but he hadn't spoken of it.

And, infinitely worse, and more painful because it was recent, he'd felt Obi-Wan's anguish yesterday, hidden though it was among the fears the Force sent him. The baby wasn't Qui-Gon's. Would that anger Qui-Gon even more? Anakin thought it might, and his own anger at the older Jedi grew.

_Qui-Gon is not cruel or foolish, only human._

_Oh. That's why he told me. _Anakin tried to plan what he could say to his master when Obi-Wan was ready to hear his opinion. _But, Master, Qui-Gon doesn't love you. Why are you asking me to be patient with him when he doesn't even take care of you?_

He stopped. _That isn't an opinion. Those are questions._

Anakin watched Qui-Gon during lunch. The man fed the baby while Obi-Wan rested, then Obi-Wan took his child from Qui-Gon and kissed her softly before changing her. "We can't bury everything well enough," he said to Qui-Gon when Annie was comfortable again. "The malia will follow us again soon."

"Then we must fashion a sling so she can be carried by any of us either on a hip, on our backs or in front of us."

Obi-Wan nodded. "That will be easy enough." He stood and moved to stand beside Anakin, who had been eating steadily. He hadn't even bothered to sit down to eat. _Promise me, Padawan mine, that you won't listen to the conversation I'm going to have with Qui-Gon this afternoon. I need to tell him what I think you already know, but I'd like your mind to be completely focused on the trail and our surroundings. The malia will come. You may well be the first to sense them._

Anakin was tempted to believe that his master just didn't want to be overheard, but when he touché Obi-Wan's mind, he found that this was a very small, secondary reason. In truth, Obi-Wan was deeply troubled about the malia. The smell of waste was closely associated in the minds of the deadly hunters with fear. The malia would be even more eager to track the three Jedi because of the baby. _I won't listen, Master. I promise._

Obi-Wan touched Anakin's arm briefly. _Thank you, Padawan mine. _He turned away. "We should try to make good time before the sun sets."

Qui-Gon rose, holding out the improvised baby-sling to Obi-Wan. It won't shield her from any attack, but it will keep her nestled against whoever is going to carry her." He slipped the sling over Obi-Wan's shoulder and helped to seat Annie in it. The sling kept the little one close to Obi-Wan's chest so she could draw on his body heat.

"Qui-Gon, it's perfect." Obi-Wan touched his husband's hand and smiled. "Thank you."

The older man smiled. "Come. We do have to get moving."

Anakin set himself up a little behind the other Jedi and divided his attention niety-ten between watching for malia and keeping an eye on the set of his master's shoulders. He watched them tense, relax, tense, relax, as Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon held their silent conversation.

oOo

Obi-Wan at first couldn't think how to begin, so he simply walked beside his lover, trying to take comfort in the warm weight of his daughter against his chest. But thinking of her put him in mind of her father, and he couldn't draw any strength or joy from her presence. Again and again his mind turned back to the message the Dark Force had given him, and even though he knew he shouldn't, _couldn't,_ trust anything the Dark Force sent him, there seemed to be a kernel of truth in it. That made no sense; Annie was only a baby. She was as non-threatening as a drink of clear water. But Obi-Wan couldn't shake the feeling, no matter how much he tried to convince himself that all would be well.

Qui-Gon moved closer to Obi-Wan so that their arms touched. _Tell me what you have to tell me, Obi-Wan. It won't do you any good to keep it in._

_I'm afraid I'm being unreasonable. Maybe my connection to the Living Force isn't strong enough yet for me to-_

_Your connection is fine. Both of us are balanced now. Tell me._

_She's not your daughter, Qui-Gon. Not by blood. She's ber'Nac's. I can feel it. And she doesn't loo like you._

_She doesn't look like ber'Nac, either; it's as if she was made of only you. Maybe she _is_ mine._

_She can't be. She came too early. _Obi-Wan could feel the tension creeping into his neck and tried to release it. _You were right; I was trying to convince myself that she was ours. That's why I ignored the contractions. I didn't want to face the idea that she came from him. I wanted to forget him and move on._

Qui-Gon grabbed Obi-Wan's elbow. _Don't be a child, Obi-Wan. You know the Jedi do not forget heir experiences, but learn from them. Don't bury ber'Nac as you buried Xanatos. _He sighed. _That's one of the big differences between Jedi and Apprentices: Jedi know that you can't bury something. If you bury it, it's still alive. It will come back again and again, rising to devour you each time. And the deeper you bury it, the stronger your fear or pain will be when it digs its way out again._

In his mind, Obi-Wan cringed.

Qui-Gon went on, refusing to wait for Obi-Wan to gain control of his emotions, _If you make it part of you, the thing finds its place in the Light Force. Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you're trained to want? You're a Master now, Obi-Wan; you must do what is expected of a Master. If you don't, you'll either leave the Jedi Order and abandon the Force forever, or seek out the Dark Force. _Qui-Gon wrapped his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders. _I don't want that for you, Obi mine. I love you. Please remember your lessons. Someday soon, I won't be here to help you._

Panic lit Obi-Wan's mind for an instant, but he released it much more easily than he had his fear. He ignored his first question, not wanting to ask quite yet, and asked instead, _Doesn't the fact that Annie isn't yours bother you?_

_Yes. Like you, I don't want to be reminded that ber'Nac raped you._ Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan's cheek. _But don't think for a minute that I won't love her as my own. The Force has taught us both that out of suffering can come great joy. She can be our joy, Obi mine. Never doubt that._

_But the warning from the Force-_

_It was the _Dark_ Force and you can't trust it! _Qui-Gon began to walk a little faster, forbidding Obi-Wan with a glance not to walk beside him, at least for the time being. _Honestly, Obi-Wan, when are you going to stop asking youngling questions?_

Obi-Wan's mouth tightened into a line. _Didn't it ever occur to you that the Light Force might have been trying to tell me something as well? I didn't feel anything, but sometimes the answers are just there. That's happened to you more than once, so you can't discount it._

_But it's never happened to _you_, so what makes you think it's happening now?_

_I've never been connected to both halves of the Light Force before, not to such a degree that I can feel the plants grow if I quiet my mind. Maybe I just needed to be connected as you are to feel-_

_You can't hang your cloak, let alone your hopes, on 'maybe.'_

_And you can't just plan the future or interpret the present with facts only. True intuition comes from the Force; you taught me that. Don't try to say that I'm not ready to have trustworthy intuitive flashes. That was true when I was thirteen, and even then I sometimes surprised you. Now, I have passed the Trials and have been approved by Yoda. I am just as ready as the next Jedi to trust my intuition. It will never be my sole way to gather information, but I will no longer ignore it. _Obi-Wan chuckled suddenly, startling Qu-Gon into looking around. His former padawan went on laughing. He quickened his pace and walked beside Qui-Gon once more. _Have you noticed how our arguments lately are always the same? We return again and again to the teachings I've learned from you, and not _I'm_ the one arguing for them._

Qui-Gon's frustration had eased. _I'm not infallible. I make mistakes. Maybe my teachings aren't right._

Obi-Wan shook his head. _You always took care to say the right things to me, and to the beings we met. No; the teachings I've memorized, the ones I believe in, are right. Never doubt that. And if you're ever worried, know that Yoda reaches the same things you do. And I'm sure Master Yoda can be wrong, too, but he's wrong a _lot less_ often than we are. _Obi-Wan took Qui-Gon's hand. _I love Annie; never doubt that, either. But it's always been hard for me to work through what I see as a critical flaw: I've played the whore too many times for it to be coincidence anymore, or just bad luck. The Jedi don't believe in luck, good or bad, anyway. It's a little easier for me to deal with this tendency of mine than it was when I was fourteen. At least I don't forget Xanatos is dead, or that ber'Nac isn't right behind me. But I still have much work to do. Maybe I should stop meditating on my obedience to the Force quite so much and spend more time meditating on not being dominated by memories and the attacks that will come in the fututure._

_Obi-Wan, don't think like that. You may not be attacked ever again._

Obi-Wan laughed again, and it was still a genuine sound of amusement. _That's like saying we won't have another argument ever again. Qui-Gon, I'm not going to give myself over, but each of us has a destiny that the Force assigns us to. I think others looking at me is part of what I'll have to deal with. _He grinned. _Until, that is, I get old and grey, like you._

_But Jedi don't age always, Obi-Wan. We live for centuries, because of our connection the Light Force. It's just that the Force chooses when each of us will stop aging. _Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan's cheek. _You might stay like this, my beardless boy._

_So when is the Force going to decide you've aged enough? _Obi-Wan ducked Qui-Gon's swat at his head and blocked the next with the Force. _Qui-Gon, not that I'm complaining, but are we setting the best example for my young padawan?_

"Master! The malia are coming!" Anakin's lightsaber hummed to life.


	15. The Parting

**Author's Note:** Next installment! Yay for snow days! (That's when I did the second half of this chapter.) Enjoy! And don't worry, I know Xanatos and ber'Nac are still out there, as is Master Adee. They'll come back.

**Author's Note 2:** Thank you to the Constant Readers- especially Ancient Galaxy.

The Parting

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan flanked Anakin, drawing their weapons as one. The malia were prowling around them, blue-green fur blending in with the forest, especially with the shadows beneath the trees. The path was narrow and the tree trunks were close together, most of the gaps between being too small for even Anakin to slip through, but perfectly well-suited to the pouncing malia.

Annie, in her sling, chose that moment to dump a rather large load in her improvised diaper. Obi-Wan noted this with a silent sigh, knowing that hiding, though it hadn't been a real option before, was completely beyond them now. He squared his shoulders and spun to interfere with the open-mouthed leap of a malia who had been aiming for Anakin's back. As the Light Force surged within him, Obi-Wan forgot everything- his worries about the baby, his lingering fear of ber'Nac- and gave himself over to the fight. He killed one malia before the others started to keep their distance, forcing their victims to move continually.

"We need to reach the clearing ahead!" Qui-Gon shouted. "It's only twenty meters away, around that curve."

"Agreed." Obi-Wan ducked, saving himself from a rather gruesome loss of scalp. "Anakin, use the Force to push them back. We're going to make a break for it. Stay between Qui-Gon and me."

"Yes, Master." Anakin silently vowed to defend his master at all costs.

As one, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon leapt, turning in opposite directions to deflect the malia who had darted in. Anakin moved with them, but kept his feet on the ground. He saw the curve ahead and hoped only that they would make it to the clearing. Twirling his lightsaber above his head, he convinced the malia in the tree above him not to jump. But he'd left himself open, and too late, he saw the jaws coming for his throat.

An inch from Anakin's face, the malia hit an invisible wall and was hurled back, breaking its neck on a jutting rock.

_Drop! _Obi-Wan shouted in his padawan's mind. The instant Anakin obeyed, Obi-Wan leapt over him, cleaving the air right in front of another attacking animal. This malia managed to avoid death, and darted in to bite Obi-Wan's thigh.

Obi-Wan stumbled back as another malia, crouching down, tried to trip him. As both Qui-Gon and Anakin moved to defend him, Obi-Wan used the moment to Force-push three malia out of the nearest tree. One of them died in the fall. Then Obi-Wan had his footing again and he led the other two towards the clearing.

When they at last broke into the clearing, the malia backed off. Here the Jedi had not just their weapons, their skills, and the Force; they could throw rocks. Growling, the malia slunk away in search of easier prey.

Qui-Gon glanced at Obi-Wan and the baby. "Are you two all right?"

Obi-Wan lifted Annie from the sling and ran his hands over her. "She's fine. Anakin?"

"I'm fine, Master." Anakin sheathed his lightsaber and gave his master a quick once-over with his eyes.

Obi-Wan smiled at the gesture, even as he returned it. "Good." He seated Annie back in her sling and kissed the top of her head. _It's a miracle she isn't dead. By all rights, she should be. _His mind tried to stray to the words the Dark Force had sent him, but he refused to think on them. _There will be time for that later. Right now, she's just a baby. Even the Dark Force can't give her the power to kill when she can't even move on her own._ "Let's get moving."

oOo

Exhausted, Obi-Wan, Anakin and Qui-Gon collapsed in the safety of the shuttle. Outside, the malia had given up the chase at last, realizing that they couldn't get at their prey. A month and a half had passed since that first, troubled morning of Annie's life. Her papa, though she couldn't know it, had spent most of that time running over the rugged mountains of Ragoon 6 in the company of his lover and his padawan. Annie would never remember that she spent the first six weeks of her life hungry, cold, and fed on Jedi blood as well as g'hoat milk.

It had happened only two days after she was born. She had been crying inconsolably in Obi-Wan's arms as Qui-Gon went out to find another g'hoat. She was starving to death, if she could have known it. But all Annie Jinn Kenobi knew was that she was hungry and crying would help her get food.

Obi-Wan had hit upon the idea as he rocked his little girl and wished he could give her something, anything, to ease her need.

When he was eleven, Obi-Wan had been separated from Qui-Gon during what wasn't even supposed to be a mission, but a time of training out in the world. He'd been picked up by a slaver and flown off Coruscant. Four days later, he was working in a mine far from his home. When he'd been found by Master Ryn-yn (two dozen Jedi had been sent out specifically to find him and all the others had been asked to keep their eyes open) Obi-Wan was barely alive. Only his weak connection to the Force had kept him alive at all. Ryn-yn had held him and murmured, "Close your eyes, Obi-Wan. Good. I'm going to give you something salty to drink. You won't like it, but you must drink. It will give you strength." A finger had been placed against Obi-Wan's lips. "Open up, Obi-Wan. Good boy." Ryn-yn stroked Obi-Wan's hair. "Drink." The boy at first didn't want to; he was terrified and disgusted by the idea of drinking another person's blood. But long years of trusting and obeying older Jedi hadn't abandoned him, so he'd drunk. At first, the taste made him feel as if he was going to throw up. Gradually, though, he realized that the taste was changing. It became the taste of sweet muja juice, and Obi-Wan was just weak enough and frightened enough to forget what was really happening.

Ryn-yn's blood had saved him. No doubt about that. Anyone could drink blood and live off it for a short time, but only Jedi blood could sustain another Force-sensitive for days, drawing the Living Force from everywhere around them so that the one being fed wasn't just drinking nourishment, but a deeper, stronger connection to the Force, a bond that could save when nothing else could.

Obi-Wan, quite sure of what he must do, knowing that it could be hours before Qui-Gon returned, slit open his index finger on his left hand with a knife and slipped the digit into his daughter's mouth. At once, Annie began to drink, relaxing and calming as she was at last given something to satisfy her hunger.

Anakin had been stunned, and hadn't been able to articulate any of his questions. He'd only stared at Obi-Wan, hoping his master would explain. And Obi-Wan had, after a time, when Annie had drunk enough to satisfy her, and gone to sleep. He told Anakin the story and explained about the deeper connection to the Light Force that Annie would gain, at least while the blood remained in her system. Even as he told the story, Obi-Wan realized that Annie had to be Force-sensitive, because he could feel her tiny bit of the Force, alive. Whether her connection to the Force was strong enough so she could become a Jedi was another story.

"How long can you go on like that?" Anakin asked.

"Not indefinitely. But Qui-Gon will bring other things back with the g'hoat and I will restore myself. Don't fear for me, Padawan mine: I'll be all right. The Force sustains me, too."

The minute Qui-Gon appeared with the g'hoat (yes, and with his pack full of other food, just as Obi-Wan had predicted) Anakin told him what Obi-Wan had done. Qui-Gon was silent for long minutes as the three of them started on their way again. At last, he said Obi-Wan had done the right thing. But he'd whispered to Anakin to keep an eye on Obi-Wan, make sure that he was protected at all times. Anakin had agreed. If Obi-Wan knew of their whispered discussion, he gave no sign.

Back in the shuttle, Qui-Gon had milked the g'hoat, the twentieth one they'd captured since Annie was born. The others had either escaped or been eaten by the malia. As Qui-Gon worked with the beast, Ob-Wan contacted the Temple.

Yoda listened to Obi-Wan's report, then said, "Return to Coruscant you will. Discuss what is to come we will. Tell me of Anakin."

Obi-Wan smiled. "He will make an outstanding Jedi someday. His connection to the Light Force deepens each day, and he learns new lessons with the speed of most Temple-raised children. His late start on the Jedi path hasn't hindered him in the least."

Yoda nodded, considering this. "When return to Coruscant you do, observe Anakin's progress for itself the Council will. May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Master." ObiWan cut the connection. He felt the eyes on him and glanced at the co-pilot's seat, where Anakin had drawn his knees up to his chest. "Yes, Padawan mine?"

Anakin blushed a little and smiled. "Thank you, Master."

"You're welcome, young one. All I said was true."

Qui-Gon opened the hatch and shooed the g'hoat out. "All right. We're ready to leave." He went to the makeshift cradle where Annie lay and touched her forehead with one finger. She was asleep. "I'll pilot us out. Get some sleep, Obi mine."

Obi-Wan activated the ship's engines. "Sorry. What was that?" He caught the gleam in Anakin's eye and the smile the boy wasn't entirely able to conceal. As the ship lifted away from the planet's surface, Obi-Wan said, "Anakin, set the hyperdrive, please. Qui-Gon, sit down. I'll let you pilot us onto Coruscant. I just couldn't wait another minute to get off-planet."

Qui-Gon moved to stand behind Obi-Wan, laying his hand on his lover's shoulder. "Impatience, Padawan mine? That's not like you. What has happened to all your hard-learned lessons?" But his tone was light and his eyes sparkled. The tension all of them had felt on Ragoon 6 was disappearing as they cleared the atmosphere.

"If a Master as old as you can be impatient once in a while, surely I may be excused just this once." Obi-Wan nodded at Anakin. "Excellent. Would you like to take us in?" With a few swift strokes, Obi-Wan gave main control of the ship over to Anakin for the jump to hyperspace.

Anakin grinned and worked the controls with all skill. And when the ship was safely on her way, he said, "Now you should rest, Master. I know you're tired."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, then glanced up at Qui-Gon, who gazed back at him, his face unreadable. "You're conspiring against me." He stood. "Very well. I'll sleep. Qui-Gon, the ship's yours. Anakin, let's meditate a bit, then sleep. You also need your sleep, my very young padawan." He went first to the cradle and kissed his daughter. "You are beautiful, my little one," he murmured. "I know I haven't said that enough since you were born, but you are. My treasure." He kissed her again and went to the cots in the back, sitting cross-legged on one of them. He closed his eyes and sensed rather than saw Anakin sit across from him. _Now, to meditate in the Force for a while before we sleep._

_Yes, Master. _Anakin shifted a little; the bed-clothes rustled. _Master?_

_Yes, Anakin?_

But Anakin couldn't send the message he'd been thinking. _Good night, Master._

Obi-Wan frowned. _Is there something you want to tell me?_

_It's not important, Master._

_If it troubles you, distracts you, it is important. Please tell me._

_Why do I bother fighting you, pulling away? You'll always know when I need help._

_It's in our nature to guard our thoughts._

_When you say 'our' do you mean the Jedi, or you and me?_

_You and me. We've both been through quite a lot, you more than I, I think. In any case, we play our cards close, like gamblers trying to hide their hand from those who might interfere. Now, what were you going to tell me?_

_I think you're right about the Dark Force targeting us. I feel like I'm back on Tatooine, being watched all the time. But I don't know if I'm being watched because I'm seen as valuable, or if the Dark Force thinks I'm a threat._

_Maybe both. For now, rest in the knowledge that we will be back at the Temple in less than a day. Hopefully our questions will be answered there. If not, we will at least have some good starting points for our own search. Have you been meditating on this since we were attacked?_

_Yes, Master._

_I thought so. I'm glad you're learning how to think on things, then bring them to others. That ability will make you a formidable negotiator when you're older._

_I'm not sure I want to be a negotiator. I don't think I could sit still that long._

Obi-Wan chuckled. _You'll learn, Padawan mine. Tell me: have you thought about what I said concerning Qui-Gon?_

_Yes, Master._

There was no way to read Anakin's answer unless Obi-Wan wanted to pry. He didn't. _And have you reached a decision?_

_No, Master. I'm not ready to say anything for or against him._

_You show wisdom. I'm proud of you._

Anakin blinked, opening his eyes to stare at his master. But when Obi-Wan didn't move, didn't look back, Anakin closed his eyes again. _But how can that be the answer you wanted to hear? Don't you want me to say I trust him?_

_Not if you don't. I'm proud that you're reserving judgment and that you were brave enough to tell me as much. You may get tired of hearing this someday, Anakin, but your honesty is an amazing gift. Never take it for granted. _He sensed the sudden silence in his padawan's mind, and reached out to him. _Anakin? What is it?_

_I… Can I meditate with you and sleep next to you?_ Anakin's embarrassment ran down the link, but he didn't struggle to explain himself. He waited.

_Are you afraid, Padawan mine?_ Obi-Wan stood and extended his hand. He smiled when Anakin opened his eyes. _It's all right with me if we share the cot._

Anakin crossed to his master, taking his hand. The two of them sat on the cot, their hands still clasped. Anakin didn't explain himself, and Obi-Wan didn't ask. Together, they entered into meditation, and, half an hour later, into sleep.

oOo

As the ship came out of hyperspace, Qui-Gon glanced at Anakin, who sat in the co-pilot's seat, his eyes trained on the instruments. He hadn't complained when Qui-Gon brought them out of hyperspace himself, but there was still a tension in the boy that Qui-Gon didn't like. Was he quietly resentful? Memories of Xanatos's early days flitted through Qui-Gon's mind and abruptly he stood. "Signal me when we're near Coruscant." Without glancing at the boy, he strode from the cockpit.

_And why so angry? _his mind tormented him. _Didn't you want him to become a Jedi? Didn't you know how good he was with mechanical things? Didn't you sense his connection to the Force and name him Chosen One?_

_Yes, and I still believe he is the Chosen One, but he has such anger in him, like Xanatos did. And he shares Xanatos's pride. Anakin isn't like Obi-Wan at all. He's filled with a need to prove himself that could lead him to rash decisions and- _He sighed. _And Obi-Wan can't see it, because Obi-Wan has never had a padawan like Xanatos. Even if he's met Xanatos, Obi-Wan doesn't know what the signs are; he doesn't know what to look for. And I can't explain everything to him, because it defies explanation. Obi-Wan needs to look for anger, for arrogance, and yet he can't. He isn't ready to. He only sees the good in Anakin._

"May I interrupt?"

Qui-Gon almost jumped. He turned a cool eye on his former padawan. "You're not interrupting. I only wanted to tell you we're close to Coruscant. We should get Annie ready."

_You were filled with uncertainty and worry a moment ago, love. Pleas tell me what troubles you._

Qui-Gon checked to make sure Anakin wasn't listening in before answering, _Nothing more than you probably already know._

_Maybe not. _Obi-Wan took Qui-Gon's hand in his.

Qui-Gon knew he had to try at least once before they stepped in front of the Council. _Anakin reminds me of Xanatos. _He bore down on Obi-Wan's hand when his former padawan tried to pull away in surprise. _The anger is there. And the arrogance. And the desire to prove himself. Anakin is different from Xanatos in only one way: he listens to you. But Xanatos seemed to listen to me, too, from time to time. It could be that way here. _

_Qui-Gon-_

_Wait, Obi-Wan, please. And you haven't had a padawan before, let alone one like Xanatos. I don't want you to fall into the same mistakes I did. You must be stricter with Anakin, not allow him to indulge. A Master-Padawan relationship is built on the idea that you know more than he does. You must remember that Anakin does not have all your knowledge, and especially not your wisdom._

The ship tilted suddenly and Obi-Wan broke away from Qui-Gon, rushing into the cockpit. Qui-Gon followed on his heels, thinking, _And here is an example of how he-_

_Not now, _Obi-Wan sent. He was standing behind Anakin's chair, watching as the boy worked the controls to descend through the atmosphere of Coruscant. "Were you given clearance?"

"Yes, Master." Anakin's eyes didn't move from the tricky maneuvers he had to execute.

"And were you supposed to call either Qui-Gon or myself before descending?"

A little quieter: "Yes, Master."

"You will perform two katas when we return to Temple before you are allowed to eat or rest." Obi-Wan sat in the pilot's seat, but didn't touch the controls. He noted that Anakin had transferred the main controls to the co-pilot's station, no easy task. "You were planning to pilot the ship in." They had cleared the atmosphere and Anakin now had to negotiate his way through very heavy traffic. "Never mind. Just concentrate."

The ride wasn't entirely smooth. Anakin had to execute three rolls when he broke traffic rules and was in danger of being broad-sided by smaller, faster ships. Obi-Wan maintained his seat and didn't speak. He closed his mind to spare Anakin any distractions.

At long last, Anakin settled the ship onto the platform in the spaceport nearest the Temple. He disengaged the engines, then just sat still, his eyes not leaving the instrument panel.

Obi-Wan opened his mind, but didn't reach out to Anakin. He waited, and eventually the boy came to him, feeling Obi-Wan's disapproval.

"I wanted to pilot the ship in," Anakin said. "I won't do it again without your permission, Master." He swallowed. "Which two katas will I do?"

"Nine and sixteen." Obi-Wan stood. "Return to our quarters and begin immediately. I will join you shortly." He strode to the back of the ship, where Qui-Gon sat, holding Annie, who was just now calming down. Obi-Wan realized that he'd been hearing his daughter cry since the ship entered the atmosphere, but he hadn't dared register it.

The side hatch opened and Obi-Wan called, "Anakin, wait, please."

Anakin came to stand by his master, his eyes on the floor.

Obi-Wan squared his shoulders and said, "Look at me, Padawan."

Anakin obeyed, biting his lip at first, then leaving off it as he realized he was showing his anxiety.

"It isn't safe yet for you to walk from here to the Temple alone. Wait for a moment, and we will go with you." He allowed Anakin to see him relax, though he didn't smile. "Is she all right, Qui-Gon?"

"I was able to take her from her cradle and sit down before the acrobatics started, yes."

_That was a little harsh._

_Obi-Wan, don't. He needs to understand that he put others at risk._

"Get your pack, Anakin, and carry Qui-Gon's too, please." Obi-Wan fetched his own and headed for the hatch. "We'll have a little time before we have to meet with the Council. Time enough for a little work." _I will not use this opportunity to make him feel even guiltier. He's already beating himself up._

_Are you sure about that?_

_Yes._ Obi-Wan headed down the ramp and the others followed. They walked without speaking or mind-touching back to the Temple.

oOo

As he completed his second kata, Anakin dared to reach out to his master. Obi-Wan had been moving about their quarters, tending Annie, putting their clothes in to wash, preparing supper. But he'd joined Anakin for the first half of the Kata Nine; he seemed to need to regain his center. All of this had been done in silence, and now Anakin hoped they'd been quiet long enough. _Master?_

Obi-Wan appeared from the next room, where he had been watering Qui-Gon's plants. _Yes, Padawan mine?_

Anakin studied his master's face, but couldn't judge the man's mood by his expression. _Are you still angry with me?_

_I was never angry, Anakin; only disappointed. And no, I'm not disappointed anymore. You've dedicated yourself to the katas, ignoring all distractions, including your own feelings. You've done well. _Obi-Wan extended a hand to help Anakin to his feet, and he smiled. _It's time for supper. Join me, please._

It was only the two of them at the table, though Annie lay nearby, sleeping. At first, Anakin picked at his food, but gradually Obi-Wan drew him into conversation until Anakin almost forgot his mistake on the ship.

But the young padawan had to ask one question. "Master, if you were ever injured or occupied in some way that meant you couldn't fly, would I be allowed to fly?"

"You're qualified," Obi-Wan said. "And I know you can pilot a ship well in open space. But you need to learn the rules of planet-side flying. All that is to say that, yes, if I was unable to fly, I would trust you to fly, even today. But I'd like you to learn planet-side rules before you become our usual pilot." He smiled. "I don't enjoy flying like you do, Anakin, and to make you sit by until you're sixteen while I fly each ship we're on just wouldn't be right."

The boy's eyes were wide and he leaned forward, his food forgotten. "Most padawans aren't allowed to fly until they're sixteen?"

"That's the usual age, yes. I learned when I was fifteen because, as you pointed out, there are times when we have to learn, to save ourselves and others." Obi-Wan chuckled. "I wasn't nearly as confident with the controls as you are, however." Obi-Wan dipped into his soup bowl with his spoon.

"What happened?" Anakin imitated his master, reminded that he was still hungry, though his curiosity had taken the edge off his appetite.

"Qui-Gon had been infected by a Mem-sharin germ, a virus that attacks Force-sensitives. I had been inoculated, but Qui-Gon hadn't gotten his shot. We made it onto the ship all right, but Qui-Gon soon became dizzy, delusional and exhausted." Obi-Wan ran his hand through his lengthening hair. _I'll have to cut it soon. _"I'd flown in a few simulations, but none of the ships I'd worked with were quite like the one we'd taken from Coruscant. To say I made mistakes would be to say Tatooine has dry spells. We made it back to Coruscant, but I wasn't ready to brave the atmosphere. Master Ryn-yn and Bant flew up to us and Ryn-yn talked me through a landing, though mostly what I did was follow him in." He was shaking his head. "After that, Qui-Gon saw that I got some lessons in ships of all types, and he made sure that I knew how to find the essentials on any new ship I encountered.

"I have no such concerns regarding your mechanical competence, Padawan mine. We'll start flight training as soon as possible."

Anakin grinned and stood. "I'll help you clean up."

"That's very kind of you, Anakin, but I suggest you eat your soup first."

The boy glanced down at his bowl. "Oh." He sat and took up his spoon.

Obi-Wan hid his own smile with his spoon.

oOo

"Should I be here without Obi-Wan? This concerns him just as much as it concerns me." Qui-Gon faced the Council, his eyes moving from one to the next. "I don't want to give a report without Obi-Wan here. It isn't right."

"Called you here for that purpose we did not." Yoda blinked his sleepy-looking eyes. "Wish you to meet someone we do. Soon join us Obi-Wan and Anakin will." Yoda clapped his hands, and the door to the chamber where Obi-Wan, Anakin and ber'Nac had awaited the Council's earlier decision opened. A tall boy, perhaps eleven, stepped out. He moved to stand a little away from Qui-Gon, and he bowed to all the masters.

"Master Qui-Gon, meet Padawan Ferus Olin." Master Yoda folded his hands. "Ready to become a padawan Ferus has been for some time, but find a master for him we could not. All either had a padawan or it was not the right time for them to have one. Without a padawan you are, and desire to have one you do."

Qui-Gon's eyes widened suddenly and he wondered if Master Yoda could feel any smugger than he sounded. The master turned his eyes to the young padawan before him. _Why is he starting so late? He should have left the Temple years ago if a master couldn't be found for him._

"All your questions answered in time will be. For now, all I wish to ask is if you will agree to take Padawan Ferus to be your apprentice."

Qui-Gon frowned. Yoda must have known he would say yes, or he wouldn't have brought the boy here at all. Still, Qui-Gon didn't like to be maneuvered. "So I'm not needed anymore in my current assignment?"

"Whether needed or not you are, the time has come when move on you must."

"But the good of-" He'd almost said Obi-Wan- "the mission is very important."

"True this is, but just as important this young one's future is. Worry about your previous assignment you will not. Done it is. Decide about this young one you must."

Qui-Gon sized up the boy again. Ferus smiled a little, then blushed and dropped his eyes. _He's shy. But respectful, I can see that. And Force knows I miss Obi-Wan as my Padawan Learner. Maybe it _is_ time I had another. _Qui-Gon was slowly growing to realize that he was one of maybe half the Jedi who genuinely loved to teach, and couldn't be completely happy unless he had someone to teach. _Master Yoda knew that about me. That's why he called me here, and brought the boy. _He couldn't be angry with Yoda, even if the master had read him like a book. That was part of the reason he was the head of the Council. "Would you enter into a Master-Padawan relationship with me, Padawan Ferus?"

"I would, Master Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon took in a breath and severed his last, hidden hopes that he would somehow find himself the master of two padawans- Obi-Wan and Anakin- and committed himself to the future before him. He bowed to the boy and Ferus bowed back. "Then we begin our journey now, Padawan." He wasn't quite ready for _Padawan mine_ and wondered if he would ever be. _I'll make myself ready for it. Obi-Wan cannot be the only one I ever grow close to._

Turning back to the Council, Qui-Gon said, "Padawan Ferus and I should find new quarters so that Master Obi-Wan and Padawan Anakin can have their own."

"Sent for Master Obi-Wan I have," Yoda answered. "Arrive shortly he will. Take care of your padawans for a little while Master Ryn-yn will."

"Yes, Master."

Behind Qui-Gon, the doors opened. Obi-Wan led Anakin into the room, and Ryn-yn Yil followed. Qui-Gon gestured for Ferus to go with Ryn-yn. He caught the stare Anakin gave Obi-Wan before the boy, too, followed Ryn-yn from the Council Chamber.

Obi-Wan stepped up beside Qui-Gon and bowed to the Council.

"Who is taking care of your daughter?" Mace asked.

"Padawan Bant."

"Knows she does that the baby is your daughter?"

"No, Master. I didn't tell her anything about Annie."

"Annie?" Mace raised an eyebrow. "Is she named after your padawan?"

"Yes, Master. Anakin helped me give birth and tried to protect me from the Dark Force when it assaulted me in the middle of my delivery." He paused, then added, "Her name as of this moment is Annie Jinn Kenobi, but if she is allowed to stay at the Temple, her last name can of course be changed."

"Jinn Kenobi you say her name is. Qui-Gon's daughter is she?"

For the first time, Obi-Wan hesitated. "No, Master… ber'Nac is Annie's father." When none of the Masters reacted, Obi-Wan said, "I should have known she was ber'Nac's, but I wanted her to be Qui-Gon's baby. That's why she was born on Ragoon 6, instead of Fregala, as you intended."

"Put yourself, your daughter, Qui-Gon, and Anakin in unnecessary danger you did. Understand this you do?"

Obi-Wan bowed again and his eyes darkened. "Yes, Master Yoda. I didn't listen to the Living Force completely, even though it was trying to warn me. I heard the warnings and chose not to follow." His voice dropped to one notch above a whisper and he made the Jedi sign of repentance: a closed fist touching his chest, then the left side of his neck. "I repent, Master, and I promise I will not follow my own desires over the desires of the Force from this moment on."

Some of the Council members stirred, but Yoda remained still, only his eyes showing his acknowledgement of Obi-Wan's vow. No Jedi should make promises lightly.. When Obi-Wan's posture and expression didn't change, Yoda closed his eyes for a moment. All those in the room with the ancient master felt the pulse of the Force, like a gigantic, silent heartbeat, charge the air around them.

Yoda opened his eyes. "Your promise truly meant is. Accept it I do, and documented it will be." He bowed his head for a moment, and the rest of the Council did the same.

The moment passed. Yoda looked on Obi-Wan again and gestured for Mace to speak.

"Qui-Gon has a new padawan. For a time, the two of you will part ways. You have much to teach Anakin, and Qui-Gon must become acquainted with his new padawan. From time to time, you may see each other in the Temple, but for no less than six months, you will not seek time together, either alone or accompanied by your padawans." He studied the faces of the Jedi before him, taking in their expressionless control of their reactions, then went on. "Annie Jinn Kenobi will be tested to discover if she is Force-sensitive. If she is, do you want her to become a member of the Temple family?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan said at once.

"If she is not, what would you have us do with her?"

"Astrid, the daughter of Didi, would welcome her with open arms and keep her true parentage from her until she's grown."

Qui-Gon reached out with his mind, thinking to touch Obi-Wan. _How did you arrange that? _When_ did you arrange it? _He met with a wall, and didn't press against it.

"Spoken to Astrid you have?"

"Yes, Master. I spoke with her during our journey back to Coruscant."

"And what will her surname be?"

"She will take Astrid's last name, Odo."

Mace nodded. "She will be tested tomorrow morning." He folded his hands in his lap. "You may speak freely." His eyes went from Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan.

"Forgive me, Master, but I must ask for half an hour alone with Qui-Gon before we part ways for a little time." Obi-Wan's jaw was set and his eyes flashed, even though his posture was almost relaxed. It was as if his body was in defiance of his mind, refusing to show any more of the tension that he felt than was strictly necessary.

Mace nodded and turned to Qui-Gon. "Do you have anything to say before we give you that half hour?"

Qui-Gon's eyes were on Obi-Wan. He seemed to be asking a question, but by his expression, he got no response. Turning back to the Council, he said, "Permission to speak out loud to my partner, Masters."

"Granted," Mace said. He steepled his fingers.

Obi-Wan met Qui-Gon's gaze without flinching. "This isn't wise. What I would say I would say in private."

"This isn't about us, but about the feelings you received on Ragoon, and those we received just outside the Crystal Cave. If you don't want to let me into your mind, we can of course discuss that when we're alone." Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed. "Will you speak to the Council of the feelings we observed, or shall I?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "I wasn't even thinking of that. It seems so long ago." Swiftly, he communicated the encounters with the Dark Force to the listening Jedi, ending with his and Qui-Gon's differing speculations on the meaning of the Dark Force's words. "Qui-Gon and I were planning to present this information to you as soon as we returned, but other events distracted me and I forgot."

"Targets you may be," Yoda said. "Rarely speaks the Dark Force does. To compel through feelings and situations its way is." He frowned and closed his eyes for an instant. "Careful you must be. Watch out for you we all will. And watch over Annie whether she is Jedi or civilian we will." His expression grew even more troubled. "Meditate on these things I will." Yoda seemed to draw strength from inside himself before he continued. "Other statements have you?"

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were both silent, then at last Qui-Gon said, "No, Master."

"Then use the meditation room to my left you will. One half hour you have." Yoda rose and led the rest of the Council from the chamber.

Obi-Wan started at once for the room, and Qui-Gon followed. When the door was closed, Obi-Wan turned on his former master. "Next time you're going to secretly reactivate our master-padawan bond, then sever it, tell me." The younger man balled his hands into fists, then turned away from Qui-Gon. He went to the windows, composed himself, looked back over his shoulder. "Wasn't our bond as lovers enough? Surely I didn't need the extra influence or watching. And if you thought I did, you could have at least told me as much."

"I thought you knew." There was no way to read Qui-Gon's expression, and Obi-Wan refused to open their lovers' bond.

"When you cut it, I almost collapsed. I was working with Anakin on his katas-"

"Obi-Wan, katas are punishment strictly because the Master does nothing more than watch."

"Maybe, but I needed to order my thoughts, and so I joined him. And even if that's what usually happens, can't you see my relationship with Anakin is different, that it has to be?"

"He's the Chosen One, Obi-Wan, and so he has special abilities and a special destiny. But that doesn't mean you treat him any more leniently than you would another padawan."

"I'm not treating him more leniently, just differently." Obi-Wan realized his voice had been rising, and he turned away from Qui-Gon again, closing his eyes this time. "Please don't do this. We only have a little bit of time. I want us still to part as loved ones if at all possible. It's partly my fault; I should have found a less antagonistic way to speak to you about the breaking of the bond. But it hurt, and when I lost my balance, that frightened Anakin. I was worried about him, and scared, too, that I hadn't realized the training bond was still in place."

Qui-Gon walked up behind Obi-Wan and laid his hands on the younger man's shoulders. Gently, he began to massage away Obi-Wan's tension. "I will always love you, Obi-Wan. I know my behavior doesn't always show it, but…" He paused. _How to explain this? I'm not sure I can do it in words. _"Will you open up to me? Please?"

Obi-Wan dropped his shields and Qui-Gon gasped to feel so much pain and fear and loss.

"Oh, Obi…" _I love you. I will always love you. _Qui-Gon sent all his feelings, the ones he could articulate and the ones he couldn't, and waited for Obi-Wan to answer.

Obi-Wan stiffened, then turned, pulling away from Qui-Gon and staring up at him. "Why do you want to protect me? The need for it almost blinds you." He shook his head. "Qui-Gon, I'm a Jedi Knight now. I'm not fragile, fourteen-year old Obi-Wan anymore. I haven't been that boy for a long time."

_But you still are. You still make bad decisions, like the one with ber'Nac. And please don't raise your voice. I'm standing right here._

_If you're waiting to call me a Knight when I stop making mistakes, you'll be waiting until I die. And if you're going to apply that standard to yourself, I'll start calling you Padawan Qui-Gon. My mistakes are-_

_They're sexual in nature. I hate to see you in pain, Obi. But to know someone has raped you, that others may rape you again… _Again, he couldn't articulate his thoughts, so he sent them in a wave of emotion.

_You can't bear it. You can't bear the thought of anyone using me. _Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon and felt the older man relax against him. _I see now, I think. You don't see me as fragile, just as your lover. You don't want me hurt. _He smiled a little, though his eyes were troubled. _Stop me if I'm wrong._

_No, Obi. You're explaining it just right._

Obi-Wan hugged Qui-Gon tighter and relished the feeling of Qui-Gon returning the embrace. _And more, you're afraid I might break someday if I'm raped again. Injury in battle doesn't worry you, even though you do watch out for me whenever we face danger. It's the deep, savage act of rape that makes you furious._

Obi-Wan noted and acknowledged the overwhelming sense of relief he felt from his lover. _Qui-Gon, I will not break. I won't. Rape is the worst thing in the world to you because you've never experienced it and because it is an intimate form of torture and abuse, much more personal than a lightsaber or a blaster or even a whip. But Qui-Gon, I've not only endured rape, I'm stronger for it. Being raped will never be pleasant, just as getting cut with a lightsaber will never make me smile, but the pain from a lightsaber wound doesn't send me into shock anymore, and neither does rape. Throughout my sexual dealings with ber'Nac, I retained my rational mind. And please hear this; never doubt this: when I lost my connection to the Force, it wasn't because ber'Nac was raping me but because I was lying to everyone. That was my choice. Like Master Yoda says, the Force is constant, and only our receptiveness to it changes. And no one can change how I connect to the Force but me. Even a Force collar can't truly cut me off because of the Force deep inside me._

He brushed his lips against Qui-Gon's cheek. _I love you. I can't ask you to forget your fear for me, because only you can work through that. But please understand that I'm stronger than you think. The Force makes me strong. Strength over fear; that's what the Force gives me. And as for Anakin and for everything he and I are about to go through, you can't help us. Each Master-Padawan team has to find their own way. I'll always draw from your teachings, but Anakin isn't me: he doesn't need a lot of the extra help I did. I must approach him differently. Please let me do that._

_I'm sorry, Obi mine. I'm being selfish. I want you back so badly; I loved it when it was just the two of us. We were a renowned Master-Padawan team. I miss that. I'll always miss that. And don't think this means I'll change at once; this will be a process for me, I think. _He laughed, and there was the huskiness of tears in the sound. _But we'll have a little time apart now. _Qui-Gon tightened his hold on Obi-Wan. _I love you. Forgive me, but I must say this just once more: please be careful._

_I will. I promise. _Obi-Wan kissed the side of Qui-Gon's neck, his cheek, then the older man's mouth. "I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn. I'll never leave you." He read the unanswered questions in Qui-Gon's eyes and knew he couldn't help him. _And I have my own questions. But there's no time for that now._

"My Obi." Qui-Gon kissed his lover, trying to freeze time, needing to show what he couldn't express. "Obi mine," he whispered at last as he pulled back. He relished the soft touch of Obi-Wan's fingers on his skin as his lover brushed away the tears that had gathered there.

"May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Beloved."

As one, they walked from the room, through the Council chambers and out t the hallway. On silent agreement, they severed their lover's bond for the time being and walked in grieving silence to Ryn-yn's quarters, where they would collect their padawans.


	16. Anakin's Dream: Fregala

**Author's Note:** All right, then. A bit longer than usual. But that could be to make up for taking so long. Or maybe it's just that Anakin dreamed so much all in one night. We maybe could have done without Xanatos's intervention, but "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." I for one want to know what he's up to. He makes me nervous.

Also, thank you for those that reviewed. It's always appreciated.

Anakin's Dream: Fregala

Xanatos didn't pace; he wouldn't give into his feelings in front the excitable padawan before him. But he was already starting to miss the solitude he'd spent six years in. Here, right under the nose of the Temple, he'd honed his skills, learned to depend even more firmly on himself, and to commune with the Dark Force to a degree that was matched only by Darth Sidious.

And he'd been content, willing to wait, to strengthen himself. But now the younger man was here, and he brought with him the new happenings at the Temple. He brought with him the news of Qui-Gon's beloved Tahl, dead. Xanatos had heard of her death, but to actually speak with someone who had seen Qui-Gon's face when he returned to the Temple… For the first time, Xanatos began to entertain the possibility that he'd been biding his time for too long.

That, of course, was ridiculous; as long as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were still alive, Xanatos had no reason to rush into anything. _But I've lost contact with the way others react. I'm not the perfect judge of people I once was._ And he would have to be flawless in all his movements and reactions when he met his enemies again.

Of course, revenge on Qui-Gon and a reclaiming of Obi-Wan wasn't his _real_ mission. _But it would please me to see them dead at my feet. _He tried to smile, but the idea of seeing his two foes dead suddenly didn't appeal to him. _Fine: Qui-Gon dead and Obi-Wan broken and ready to serve the Dark Force. With his knowledge of Yoda, Mace, and the rest of the Jedi, he would be an invaluable slave._

"When will he come?"

Now Xanatos did smile; at least he could refrain from speaking his thoughts out loud. This young one seemed incapable of even that. "Our master comes when he can. He is busy with many matters. Be patient."

ber'Nac sneered at him and began to pace at the cave's entrance again.

Glancing down at his hands- strange how the cloning process made him impervious to many of the harsher extremes of temperature- Xanatos thought, _And yet, there _is _time. I'm not so old. I'm but seventeen, or I look seventeen. _He smiled at the foresight he'd had to make himself this way: young, and aging three times more slowly than all other Jedi. _Only in three years will I be physically eighteen. _Xanatos cursed Qui-Gon, thinking how his former master had kept the secret of prolonged age from him. _Though, judging by my master's face, his prolonged age hasn't started yet. _Xanatos chuckled. _Maybe I'm being unkind to my dear master; perhaps he just didn't know._

His stomach turned over. _What if Obi-Wan doesn't know? _That sense of too much time passing came to him again, and Xanatos dismissed it more slowly. _I can still break him. I'll just… have someone else rape him. _But he wanted Obi-Wan, young and beautiful, under him, and Xanatos knew better than to lie to himself. Honesty to self: it was the only part of the Jedi Code he still followed.

_Peace, _he urged himself. _Peace. Obi-Wan is still in reach. And he meditates so much- ber'Nac told me- that my Obi-Wan must know about the aging trick of the Light Force. Qui-Go is a fool; of course he doesn't know. And Obi-Wan, even if he's a fool in everything else, knows how to commune with the Light Force. Not that any knowledge he possesses will save him from me._

ber'Nac through up his hands again, spinning around to glare at Xanatos. "How can you just sit there? What if something's happened to our master? What if he can't come to us? What if the Jedi have found him, or-"

_I'll have to calm him. He's no help to my Lord like this. _Xanatos stood. "We would know if Darth Sidious had been captured. And the Jedi can't catch him; they don't even know where he is. And even if they did, they are too weak. If they possessed their strength of a century ago, the Sith would have had a much harder time coming back. But it's been almost easy. The Jedi are falling apart, piece by piece."

"But what about the boy, the Chosen One?"

Xanatos laughed. "My former master called him that, true? And Qui-Gon may be many things that you should be wary of, but he is also a fool about destiny. He has nothing on which to base his conclusion. It's simply hope."

ber'Nac's eye twitched, as if he wanted to start pacing again, but couldn't quite afford to turn away from Xanatos, especially when he had started the conversation. "Obi-Wan believed it."

"Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon without the physical prowess. That's all. Never doubt it. Of course Obi-Wan would trust his Master, and parrot his words. It's only natural. You worry too much. Being swathed in the Dark Force means being connected to everything, but drawing on your own resources. Stop looking for the humming feeling of the Light Force. You won't find it here. Here you live on your own wits. If you can't, go back to the Temple." Xanatos allowed a glimmer of his stinging humor to show. "Oh, that's right; they won't take you back. They'll put you back in a cell for raping their little lamb."

_Their "little lamb" is a Jedi Master now._

Xanatos at once sank back into his meditative posture. _Master. _He glared at ber'Nac until the other man sat. _We follow your lead and hearken to your advice._

_Obi-Wan is the Master of Qui-Gon's Chosen One. The Council has decreed that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon must go their separate ways, at least for now._

Xanatos blinked. _They're leaving Obi-Wan unprotected, Master?_

_No yet. For now, he is remaining in the Temple. But I daresay that won't last long; his padawan is an impetuous one, and Obi-Wan doesn't have the wit to control him. But Obi-Wan may be targeted, perhaps. His daughter has caused quite a stir. _Sidious laughed. _She is your child, ber'Nac. It grieves Obi-Wan, I've heard, and distracts him, at the very least. I will decide-_

_I will go to him and tell him he must raise the child with me!_

Xanatos winced, half-shielding his mind, ready to lift the rest of his defenses in an instant.

Sidious unleashed a powerful wave of Dark Force that knocked ber'Nac backwards in the physical world so he hit his head on the cavern floor. _Do _not _interrupt me. _Then, calm as you please, _I will decide what to do with this information._

Careful not to sound sniveling or ingratiating- such would earn him punishment- Xanatos answered, _Yes, Master. We await your command._

_For now, I think perhaps I might draw on your resources, my Apprentice, to help me gather troops for the day of reckoning. It draws near, as the Sith view time._

Xanatos contained his joy with a savage effort. Never had Sidious called him "apprentice." Padawan, yes, but that was in jest. Now Xanatos had named Darth Maul's replacement.

_Darth Calus you will be from this day forth._

Xanatos stood and bowed, knowing Sidious would be able to see it in his mind. _Thank you, Master._ He sat again and waited for more instructions. He watched ber'Nac rub the back of his head before sitting in his meditative posture once more.

_Unfortunately, you will have two tasks. You must gather my troops as I will show you, but also you must train ber'Nac. He needs much guidance, more than I can give at this time and over such distances. Train him in all our ways. I leave his education up to you._

_Yes, Master. _And all of that was to say that if Xanatos couldn't either train ber'Nac or convince Sidious that the former Jedi was not trainable, Xanatos himself would suffer a much graver punishment than the one ber'Nac had just endured. The clone knew, without even an instant's consideration, that he would be fortunate indeed to live through such a chastening.

_Go to Bolin II and wait for further instructions._

_Yes, Master._

Sidious vanished then from their minds, leaving Darth Calus to deal with an irate, childish and pouting ber'Nac. The clone longed to kill the former Jedi in the space of an hour.

oOo

Anakin couldn't decide if he was strong enough to break the bond the Force had formed between his mind and Qui-Gon's. Surely it was wrong to listen to another Jedi's thoughts, especially when that Jedi wasn't his Master.

_But if the Force wants me to listen, I should listen. _Anakin rolled over in bed, closing his eyes. Then he groaned and turned back the other way, seeking to find a comfortable spot. It seemed as if his whole body hurt, but in a distant way that refused to manifest itself as a single sore muscle. Everything throbbed, and he longed to go to his master for help. He felt tied to the bed. The Force wanted him to lie still.

_Fine. But why does everything hurt so much? And why am I… _Heaviness invaded his limbs, weighing him down, almost crushing him. He would sink through the sleep couch and hit the floor. Then he would continue to sink.

_So tired… Master, where are you? Master?_

_Not my thoughts. _Anakin struggled to stay awake and connected to the physical world. He had one thought before he succumbed: _That's _my _master calling, and he sounds younger than he is now, but not that much younger._

oOo

_By the Force, who are they trying to kill?_

The assassins fought as a perfect team. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stood back-to-back, the only position that offered them any measure of protection. The Jedi team was revered by many, but, sorely pressed, neither of them felt they deserved the fame others heaped on them. Why, the Crown Prince of Fregala himself had extolled their many good deeds only the night before.

"The best of the best," he had called them. "The greatest the Temple could send us. Show them all the finery of our planet, my people, and that will be only half the reward they deserve. Only these, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi can identify the shadows that have haunted us for far too long."

The assassins faced them with a dozen kinds of weapons. Obi-Wan had never fought against someone who used an axe, or a bow and arrows. He'd thought the arrows couldn't be sued at close range, only to discover that an assailant would draw one and try to stab him with it. And even though he and Qui-Gon had subconsciously picked their "own" assassin to fight, they were both beset by each.

The other weapons were worse. The taller of the two tried several times to blow a powder into Obi-Wan's face. Only a warning from the Force had protected him. Qui-Gon turned a roundhouse kick at the other assailant into a downward saber swing that burned through the bag of powder, effectively destroying the contents.

But that was only one weapon down. Twenty-three remained.

As Obi-Wan dodged a two-handed axe swing, he searched the other's clothes, hoping for a mark of some kind that would identify his enemy. He'd already given up on the weapons; these didn't bear any marks he'd ever seen before. Having stored the design of each weapon, he filed the information away without any hope of using it. As a Jedi, he didn't despair about the outcome of the battle. Practicality just won over hope for the moment.

Nothing. No distinguishing marks. The style was the same worn by a thousand space pirates and drifters. Obi-Wan rolled away in time to avoid being cut in half. He came up on his feet and Force-pushed his attacker into the one who fought Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon dropped to a crouch, his blade swinging at the legs of the momentarily off-balance two. The arrow whistled over his head. _Obi-Wan!_

His padawan moved, but not fast enough. The arrow grazed his shoulder. It drew a little blood, but not much, and Obi-Wan leapt forward as Qui-Gon was sorely pressed. The master's warning had cost the older man time. Even as he rose to his feet to reengage "his" foe, the other tried to chop the Jedi's legs out from under him.

Obi-Wan slammed into the second assailant, managing to deliver a well-placed kick, before his enemy was out of reach again. Still, Obi-Wan rejoiced. He'd dealt his first blow. Yes, he'd been cut, but he'd given as good as he'd gotten. Hope returned.

The padawan couldn't see past the mask to know if the one he fought was a man, or a Fregalan. Both were exactly the same in body structure and motor capabilities, differing only in eye color (magenta versus brown or blue) and hair color (pink). Every bit of skin was hidden from Obi-Wan's eyes, and he realized that he'd overlooked that simple fact when he'd been making his assessment. No pirate would wear so much; none would have the need.

_All right then. So he doesn't want to be recognized. That's fine. I can manage that. But the question is: does he want to conceal himself from the Crown Prince, or from Qui-Gon and me? _That question wasn't the biggest one on his mind at the moment, but it could be significant. Obi-Wan longed to send the thought to his Master, but he wasn't confident in his ability to divide his energies that way. It would have to wait.

_Send, Padawan mine._

Obi-Wan leapt above the swath of a curved sword. If he hadn't, he would have died in separate halves. _Who are they hiding their faces from? _He jumped back and stumbled. But the Force surged around him and he found his balance, meeting the sword blade to blade, severing it. He tried to press his advantage, but the attacker kicked him and he had to throw his weight backwards so he could roll, jump up, and come back for more.

_Good question._

Qui-Gon answered as he always did, or so Obi-Wan thought at first. But his Master's answer tried to stir a memory from their trip to Fregala, and Obi-Wan knew he couldn't spare the instant of thought. Sheathing his mind in Force-given concentration, Obi-Wan tossed his saber to his other hand in time to avoid the loss of more than a few fingers.

It wasn't worth the time to wonder why his mind wanted to wander at such a disastrous time. If he'd had a moment, he might have guessed that his mind was trying to escape the knowing. Maybe his mind knew before his body did that the arrow had been poisoned.

As it was, Obi-Wan threw himself against his attacker, trying to surprise the other with a sudden show of force, since most of what he'd been doing was defensive. For once, it worked; he was able to deal another blow to his opponent. Now the other bled from a cut on his cheek, a blow Obi-Wan had aimed for his neck. Obi-Wan caught sight of the man's skin- normal peach- and a lock of rose-pink hair. He grinned. _They're Fregalan! They're Fregalan! _He tried again to press his advantage, but was tackled from behind. His cheek slammed into the rough pavement and he gasped as two of his ribs broke and his nose didn't so much break as explode. He would have made more noise, except he didn't get the chance. Something heavy covered him, muffling the world, drawing him down and away. He struggled against the man on top of him- but there was no man. The Force told him as much. No one had knocked him down. His body had done that.

The Force gathered around him though he didn't call it, and cradled him as he lost consciousness. If he could have known it, he would have wondered why the Force drew about his shoulder, the source of the arrow-strike, instead of going to the fount of internal bleeding.

oOo

The Fregalans fled, leaving Qui-Gon to tend his fallen padawan. Confused, but refusing to waste a moment in hesitation, the master went to his young one to assess the damage. Blood poured from Obi-Wan's mouth and Qui-Gon found the broken ribs at once. But the Living Force surged and fairly shrieked around the inflamed scratch on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Cursing, Qui-Gon wrapped Obi-Wan in the Force and turned him over gently so that he wouldn't drown in his own blood. Sitting on the ground, Qui-Gon removed his outer robe. Still with the help of the Force, he drew Obi-Wan onto his lap, tilting the young one's head to the side so the blood trickled out of his mouth to puddle on the ground and on Qui-Gon's boot. He laid the cloak over his padawan and used his communicator to call for help.

The medics came soon enough, but the ride to the medical center seemed to take days. Qui-Gon sat to one side, not allowed to touch his padawan, and filled the small transport with the Living Force, directing all the power he could lay his mind to on one simple task: keeping Obi-Wan alive. He could feel his padawan's life flickering, a guttering flame in an unforgiving world.

At first, the master had no time for thought as he worked in tandem with the Force. But soon it became clear that the Force was focused as much as it could be, and all Qui-Gon must do to keep it at that level was keep only a part of his mind connected to the here and now. The rest of his consciousness, then, went naturally to other things. It tried to focus on Obi-Wan, gasping out the last of his life. Qui-Gon shut his eyes and turned his ears to the twin engines below him. He clutched the seat below him, but even though his knuckles turned white, he didn't register the pain. Left without sensory input, his thoughts turned first to the battle- too recent and painful to reflect upon- and then to the embarrassing incident in the spaceship he and Obi-Wan had shared.

His fault. He'd known Obi-Wan was there. But dreams of changing the course of their lives had been invading his waking hours, and he'd been just in the middle of one when Obi-Wan entered the galley to announce they were less than a day from Fregala and that Yoda had sent a message.

Qui-Gon rubbed at his face to hide his silly expression of confusion as his mind caught up to the present. "What did Master Yoda say?"

"He told us not to waste any time, that he sensed the Dark Force gaining a foothold on Fregala." Obi-Wan sat at the table opposite Qui-Gon. "Do you think Force-sensitives are plaguing the Crown Prince?"

"I'd prefer not to speculate until we're there."

Obi-Wan nodded a bow. "Yes, Master." He stood to go.

Qui-Gon was on his feet and around the table before he even realized what he meant to do. "Obi-Wan…" His hand came up, brushing at the padawan braid that hung over Obi-Wan's shoulder. Soft, that symbol of apprenticeship. Qui-Gon wanted to lift it to his lips and kiss it. Dropping the braid, tugging it inadvertently as his fingers refused at first to let go, he cleared his throat. "Remember, Padawan mine, never to spend too much time guessing at what might come; what you expect might color your impressions."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan stared up at him, his lips wet, his eyes bordered by red-gold lashes.

_No. Stop. _Qui-Gon stepped back, moving his other hand to clap Obi-Wan on the shoulder. He'd missed. His hand fell down Obi-Wan's front, brushing far too low on his mid-thigh tunic.

Obi-Wan blinked as Qui-Gon spun away. "Master?"

Qui-Gon felt the tentative touch of his padawan's mind and answered, putting up shields around his emotions, _Was there something else, Padawan? _Best to deny anything but a mistake. And the best way to deny a mistake was not even to mention it.

Obi-Wan was openly confused, and Qui-Gon felt the beginnings of embarrassment in his young one. Ignoring the incident wouldn't help. _I'm sorry, Padawan mine. My right hand didn't know what my left hand was doing. My mind was back at the Temple for a moment. _He stopped himself before he could stumble over any more answers. _Forgive me._

_Were you thinking about Master Tahl?_

As good an excuse as any and Qui-Gon could have laughed, except he felt the real concern from his padawan. Obi-Wan knew the two masters were close, and if he'd ever been jealous of that fact, he'd lost his jealousy long ago. _No. Tahl's fine. There's no excuse, young one. My mind was just drifting._

Obi-Wan's presence in his mind eased a little. He believed, mostly. He even laughed. _You're not perfect, Master? I didn't know! How could you hide it from me all these years?_

Qui-Gon resisted the urge to swat Obi-Wan's arm. _Make sure to eat something before we arrive, young one. I'll be in the cockpit._

_Yes, Master. _Obi-Wan's stomach growled and he grinned at Qui-Gon as he went to the stores.

His mind safely closed, Qui-Gon thought, _I knew that would distract him. My poor young one is always hungry. Then, he's a lot like his master, or at least the way I was when I was a padawan. _Qui-Gon's heart had decided to start calling Obi-Wan 'young one' without checking with the man's reason. Things would be made easier if Qui-Gon just stuck to the new words for a while.

Back at the medical center, Qui-Gon was shown to a private waiting room. Apparently the Prince's orders to treat the Jedi with all kindness and consideration hadn't been forgotten. Qui-Gon didn't want to be alone, but he took the offer because he didn't want to argue. His worry would have made him brusque, and it was bad enough that he was going to have to explain to the Prince how the assailants, the stalkers that had lurked about the palace for weeks, had escaped.

Needing to calm his mind- news or a summons could come at any time, and he must be ready- Qui-Gon folded himself into a meditative posture in one corner of the room and close his eyes. Reaching out to the Living Force, he prayed Obi-Wan would be healed. But to calm himself, he must reach out in other directions. If the Force was going to help Obi-Wan live, it would do so without any more interference from Qui-Gon. Sighing, the Master admitted that he hadn't really helped the Force help Obi-Wan; he'd just found something to focus his worries on.

_That's not true. You were meant to fight for Obi-Wan, _some secret voice whispered deep in his heart, but Qui-Gon ignored it in favor of his grief. He inhaled his fears for the future, held them for a moment, then let them go. He retreated into meditation. _It's strange how much Obi-Wan seems to enjoy meditation, now that it comes more easily to him. I seek meditation for its healing powers and its ability to calm me, but Obi-Wan truly enjoys it. _Then Qui-Gon was gone from the world of thought for a while

"Master Jedi?"

Qui-Gon came back to himself, gazing up at the grim expression of the Fregalan before him. At once, he rose to his feet. "What news?"

"We have identified the poison and slowed its progress, but reversal may take another day. Your partner sleeps, but his dreams are troubled. We have begun to heal his ribs and he is no longer coughing up blood." He ran a hand through his hair. "Would you like to sit with him for a time? We will resume fighting the poison, but that will not happen until morning, when the young Jedi's body has rested."

Qui-Gon wanted to question how they could just let the poison continue to move, but he knew that sometimes such a course was necessary. _But only when the patient is close to death, when the harshness of the cure would be more dangerous to him than letting the toxin sit in his body for a little longer. How close is my precious one to death?_

"Thank you. I would like to sit with him as long as possible."

The room was small, bur comfortable enough. Qui-Gon pulled a chair to the bed and took Obi-Wan's hand. Bending forward, he brushed his fingertips across Obi-Wan's forehead. "Stay with me, Obi…Wan." He cleared his throat. His meditation hadn't helped him to restrain the tears. "Stay with me. May the Force bring you back to me. You have a great future ahead of you. You're going to be an amazing Jedi Knight some day. Don't give up. The Temple can't lose you. I can't lose you." He began to comb his fingers through his padawan's hair, watching the tufts stick up for a moment before falling into a new position. _Like a golden-red waterfall in slow motion. My dear Obi-Wan._

Talking, touching, thinking only of the fragile life before him, Qui-Gon passed the night.

It was almost impossible to leave the next morning, to let the medics in. But he knew he must give them time to work, unmolested. And he had to contact the Temple. So he made his way towards the doors to the ward, thinking to walk back to his ship, to take a little comfort from the sun he could see shine through the window in Obi-Wan's room.

But as he headed for the doors, he was met by the Crown Prince himself. The man was without his entourage, which wasn't unusual, given how he had said he hated such things. But it wasn't wise. Qui-Gon wanted to demand why the ruler was being so careless when Obi-Wan was possibly dying because he'd been trying to protect the man. The Prince spoke first, bowing slightly to Qui-Gon as he held out a small pad. "This was left for you." His eyes were troubled, and yet he looked less troubled than he had when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had first arrived.

Qui-Gon read the message once without comprehending it. Frowning, he focused his mind on the present and read it again. Then he stared at the Prince. "It was for us. They set the trap for us."

The Prince nodded and any trace of relief had left his expression, wiped away by grief. "I only pray they truly believe your partner is dead and that he will recover, despite their belief." He reached out, laying a hand on Qui-Gon's arm. "I am sorry they drew you here, and even more sorry that they have injured Oie-Wan."

_He'll never get Obi-Wan's name right. I remember when he was practicing it yesterday before announcing it to the assemblage._

"I'm relived that you are not in danger any more, Your Highness." Qui-Gon bowed, more deeply than the prince had. "At least now the danger to you will disappear. I'm only sorry we couldn't capture those that caused such turmoil here."

The Prince waved his words away. "I've posted a dozen guards around Oie-Wan to watch him, in case the assassins change their minds. Did you learn who they were?"

"Obi-Wan was able to unmask one of them. He was a Fregalan. But I don't know his name, or the race of the other. I am sorry we could not find out more. And thank you for your kindness. I must return to my ship to contact the Temple, to let them know all that has happened. I think you for all you've done for us. We are in your debt."

"Only as much as I am in yours," the Prince answered. "And when two debts are equal, they cancel each other out." He frowned. "Though if Oie-Wan passes, nothing I could ever give would heal the wound left behind." He bowed again. "I have much to do. But if there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask. I will render any assistance it is within my power to give." He paused, then asked, "May I sometimes visit your Oie-Wan? We believe that those who sleep can still hear us. I would offer him my thanks for what he learned, and for giving everything to protect me and my people."

"We believe the same," Qui-Gon said. "Please come whenever you want. Bi-Wan can always do with more company."

Again, the Prince bowed. "He must be in treatment, or you wouldn't leave him. I will return later and join you at his bedside." With a final bow, he left Qui-Gon alone by the doors.

When he was quite alone, Qui-Gon allowed two tears to fall. Then he wiped them away and resumed his journey to the ship. Yoda still had to be told.

And what to make of the news that the assassins had been after Obi-Wan and himself? And how did that bear on the fact that Yoda had sensed the Dark Force on Fregala? Qui-Gon had sensed nothing of the kind. He'd sensed only purpose from those he'd fought, and good will from other Fregalans. If the Dark Force had been concentrated on Fregala, it had moved on, and at least a day before the Jedi had appeared, because it had left no trace. A feeling strong enough to reach Yoda on Coruscant should have left some mark, unless it had had a while to dissipate.

With the door to the small, borrowed craft closed, Qui-Gon transmitted a signal to Coruscant. He didn't send a distress call, knowing that there was nothing the Jedi could do to help Obi-Wan. Settling himself in the pilot's seat, he waited for a response.

A small, blue figure appeared before him, seeming to float just about the instrument panel. He was surprised to see Tahl gazing back at him. "I thought you were offplanet," he blurted.

She smiled. "I returned only an hour ago."

"And I thought you didn't usually answer calls from Jedi on missions."

"I had a feeling it would be you."

Another figure joined Tahl; her slim, young padawan, Bant, stood at her side. "Master? Where's Obi-Wan? Is he all right?"

Qui-Gon frowned. "Why do you ask?"

"I had a vision on our way back to Temple. Obi-Wan was wandering in a desert without water or food, and the Force had deserted him." She stood straight and met Qui-Gon's gaze, begging for the truth.

"The Force doesn't ever desert us, Bant," Qui-Gon said. "We are the ones who lose contact with it."

Her cheeks were flushed. "I know, Master. It was only a vision. But when Master Tahl said she was expecting to hear from you, I grew worried."

Tahl laid her hand on Bant's shoulder. "Qui-Gon, tell us."

As briefly as he could, glossing over his own worries as much as possible, Qui-Gon told them all that had happened. When he was finished, he watched them, daring to hope for comforting words.

"We should come to you and help you find the ones who tried to kill him." Bant's eyes narrowed. "We could be there in two days."

"Bant, we may have other things to do," Tahl said, shaking her head.

"But the guards can't be expected to really keep Obi-Wan safe if they couldn't even keep the royalty safe or name the attackers' real motive."

"Bant, even _we_ couldn't name that," Qui-Gon said, trying to smile. It was his job, as well as Tahl's, to help the young padawan work through her fear. "You'll do the best thing for Obi-Wan by following your Master's orders. I'll keep you informed of Obi-Wan's progress."

"Will you pursue the investigation and find them?"

"That's enough." Tahl squeezed her padawan's shoulder. "Keep your communicator with you, Qui-Gon. I'm going to do some checking. Do my favor and make sure you sleep. You won't be any help to Obi-Wan if you can't keep your eyes open."

He smiled, nodded because he must. "I'll try."

"And meditate. You look almost as bad as when we were both young and you were afraid for someone."

Qui-Gon couldn't bring himself to admit that he'd already meditated. "Yes, Master." He signed off and sat back in his chair. More tears fell, unnoticed. _My Obi. My precious one._

He knew then, for the first time, that love had claimed his heart. Would he act on the feeling? He didn't know, nor did he care, just then. Accepting the feeling as truth, he knew only that he would find it almost impossible to meditate or to sleep. _I'll try; I promised as much, and Jedi to not lie. But my Obi-Wan… _Qui-Gon stood and began to pace. He felt as confined, a li'ness throwing herself against the bars of her cage trying to get to her cubs, who were being dangled just out of her reach.

_I can't stay here. _Qui-Gon went back to the pilot's seat and took off. He left the city and went out to the plains. Once he was away from everyone, everything civilized, he set down the ship and locked her. Outside, he didn't bother to draw strength from the beautiful scene around him; he broke into a run, keeping his eyes on the distant hills. He ran the sun up to its zenith and halfway down again before he stopped. His training had let him run for hours with only one or two pauses, wherein he walked. But these walking times had been brief because they allowed too much time for thought.

As the sun started to merge with the horizon, Qui-Gon returned to the ship and flew back to the city. He spent another night at Obi-Wan's side. He hadn't slept in two days, and still he felt restless. The next morning, he went out to run again.

oOo

Three nights after Obi-Wan had first entered the medical center, Qui-Gon was startled to feel the Living Force stir around him in a pattern he knew well. Rising from his chair, Qui-Gon faced the door and was ready with a welcoming, if surprised smile when Tahl and Bant entered the room. "If you ever want to surprise me, you'll have to learn to shield yourself," he said, referring to a technique known only to a few Jedi. It required weeks of meditation and most Jedi weren't willing to put in the time.

Tahl nodded slightly. "How is he?"

"The poison no longer moves in him. They'll start extracting it in the morning." Qui-Gon returned to Obi-Wan's side, though he didn't sit. "Did you come all the way to check on us?"

"The Council sent us. We're to help you guard Obi-Wan, but mostly we're here to search for the assassins that chose you as targets. Have you learned any more of them?"

Qui-Gon wasn't quite ready to admit that he'd been too angry and worried to think about those that had hurt his young one. "I've had no breakthroughs as of yet."

Tahl raised an eyebrow. "Bant, will you stay here with Obi-Wan? Master Qui-Gon and I need to go for a walk."

Bant crossed at once to Obi-Wan's side and took his hand. She sat in Qui-Gon's abandoned chair. "I won't leave him for a moment," she promised.

Qui-Gon frowned, but followed Tahl from the room after one final glance at his unconscious padawan.

"You must be very lost," Tahl said. "You haven't offered to take my arm or escort me anywhere." She sighed slowed her pace so she was walking beside Qui-Gon. "Which part do you want to talk about first: your lack of concentration or the ones we're supposed to be hunting?"

Qui-Gon scowled. "I don't need you to play Master to me. I can handle this investigation without you, no matter what the Council thinks."

"Bant and I were only supposed to stop here for a day or two, but we can length our stay if need be." She added, "And it looks like you need me, Qui-Gon Jinn, whether or not you'll admit it. And since you won't be forthcoming about details, let's start with Obi-Wan."

"I've already told you all the relevant medical information."

"Yes, I assumed as much," she answered, undaunted by his frigid tone. "Now tell me why you're so angry Bant and I both felt it before we entered the center."

He glared at her for a moment. "Why do you think I'm angry? They were lying in wait for us! They wanted to kill us, wanted to kill my Obi-Wan!" He balled his hands into fists.

Tahl asked, "Is there a park around here?"

Qui-Gon gaped at her, then muttered. "Yes. Straight ahead. We'll be there in a minute." He went back to fuming in silence.

"I smelled the trees," she said "B'yrch trees, I'd guess. Beautiful." Tahl slipped her hand into his. "You love Obi-Wan. I'm glad, though it's a little soon."

Again, his mouth dropped open. Then he shook his head and laughed roughly, trying to pull away from her. But she wouldn't let go. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I'll always know your heart, Qui-Gon. Face it. We've been through too much together for me to misunderstand the feelings you're emanating." She smiled. "And do you think Obi-Wan is like you, that he wouldn't look for help from others, even though you tend to keep your problems to yourself?"

"What did he say?" Qui-Gon tried to stop walking, but she dragged him onwards until they were underneath the trees. Only then was he allowed to stop. "What did he say? And when?"

"About eight months ago, when Bant and I were back at Temple, Obi-Wan came to me and said he needed to talk. To me, he felt afraid and unsure, like he did after Xanatos. My first fear was that someone new had hurt him. I took him to the Garden of Light and sat down with him. I asked if he had gone to you with what was troubling him and he said, 'I can't. I can't tell Master Qui-Gon. Please promise you won't tell him.' I said I couldn't' promise anything until he told me what was wrong.

"Your padawan told me he was in love. 'I know it's against the Jedi Code,' he said, 'but I can't help it. I've been feeling it for a long time, and it's getting stronger. I dream about him, I watch him all the time. I thought it would go away. I thought it was my hormones. It isn't going away or even getting less. Whenever we fight a battle, I have to struggle not to be distracted by how graceful his movements are and how beautiful he is when the Living Force shines in his eyes.'

"I knew who he meant then, or thought I did. 'Are you in love with Qui-Gon?' 'Yes,' he said, and he sounded so lost… All I wanted to do was hold him and make everything better. 'And it gets worse,' Obi-Wan said before I could think of anything to say. 'I think he loves you,' Obi-Wan said. 'I really think he does, Master Tahl. You're always in his mind, and he talks about you constantly. I was jealous before, really jealous. But meditating helps. And… I just want him to be happy. Even if he doesn't love me, if it's you he's supposed to be with, I want him to be happy. He deserves to feel content after everything he's been through.' Obi-Wan loves you without restraint and without a thought to himself. When I pressed him, he told me he was only afraid of breaking the Jedi Code because of how you might be punished, and how his behavior would reflect on his first master."

"Tahl… You know that we're friends. What did you say to him?"

"I said just that, but promised I would ask you if you were interested in me. Of course, Bant and I was sent out that night before I could fulfill that promise." She bore down on Qui-Gon's hand. "Tell me what you feel for him."

Qui-Gon explained the embarrassing occurrence on the ship, and, further back, to those times when he'd found himself watching the play of sun on his padawan's hair with more than mild interest. "But he's my padawan. More than anything else, he's my padawan. Forget appropriate or inappropriate as far as the Code's concerned; Obi-Wan is almost like my son."

"But he's not. He never was. He was a young friend from day one. I saw you that first day. Obi-Wan has always held a special place in your heart, but not exactly the same place a son would hold. He's been removed from that a long time, first because he was Ahleh's former padawan, so he was closer to a younger brother, then that disappeared to be replaced by this new love." Tahl reached up and touched Qui-Gon's cheek. "Tell me, please: do you love him as he loves you?"

He couldn't lie to her. "Yes. But does he still love me as he did eight months ago?"

"Of course not. Love changes always. He may love you more deeply, or understand his need for you on a new level, but the love itself will always be there. And never confuse it with a student's love for his teacher. This has been going on too long for that to be believed." Her fingers still touching his face, Tahl asked, "Now what will you do?"

He frowned; she felt it. "What can I do? He's dying. None of this matters."

"He's not dying and even if he was, you'd still have decide if you were going to tell him you love him before the end. What are you going to do?"

Qui-Gon breathed out. "I was using the possibility of his death to keep from thinking about this." He laughed. "I'm sick."

"No. If you really believed that Obi-Wan was going to die, your questions of love would have resolved themselves." She smiled. "That means hope hasn't abandoned you. I'm glad."

"Really? Why?"

"Because it makes you easier to deal with. Now answer the question."

He laughed again, more genuinely this time. "I'll tell him. We've gone on too long with a secret like this between us. We have to be honest, and besides…" He blushed, the first time he'd done such a thing in what seemed like years. "I want to hold him and kiss his lips and tell him I'm here for him."

"Good." She started back the way they'd come. "Now, let's talk about the ones who attacked you. But we can do that in the room just as well as out here."

When Bant and Tahl left two days later, Qui-Gon stood by their ship, watching them enter. Bant had spent most of her time at Obi-Wan's side, which had been a tremendous relief to Qui-Gon, helping him to feel less guilty for the hours he spent away from his loved one.

He and Tahl, on the other hand, had made progress, and even closed the case, though too many questions were left unanswered to make either of them easy. The assassins had been found, in the park of B'yrch trees, no less, dangling from two branches, their necks broken and their guts puddle under their dangling feet. Qui-Gon had been extremely glad his padawan wasn't with him, and Tahl had felt the same, even though she couldn't see the bodies. She said she could guess what had happened by the sound of the tiny creatures flying around them. So the assassins were dead. But Obi-Wan had been wrong; they weren't Fregalans. Each of them had dyed his hair bright pink and wore magenta lenses over his irises. So the two had nothing to do with Fregala whatsoever, expect that here was where they had decided to set their trap.

The whole business had a distinctly Xanatos feeling to it, but Qui-Gon, knowing the man was dead, refused to give in to that feeling. And besides, even if Xanatos had been alive, it wasn't his style to simply hunt two Jedi without a further purpose. _And furthermore, if Xanatos was alive, he wouldn't still be hunting us, would he?_

Except Qui-Gon knew his former padawan too well to quite believe this last.

_But it doesn't matter! Xanatos is dead! _Shaking his head, Qui-Gon brought himself back to the present and waved to Tahl and Bant as they disappeared inside their ship. He stepped back and watched the ship until it was out of sight. Then he returned to Obi-Wan and resumed his long vigil.

oOo

A young Jedi sat, graceless as a grain sack, on a canopied bench swing near the edge of the medical center's largest B'yrch grove. His floating chair was parked nearby, forgotten. Obi-Wan reflected that he would have been ashamed at his helpless state if anyone but his Master had been near.

Qui-Gon manipulated one of his young one's limbs after another in a seemingly endless cycle. He spoke occasionally as he worked with the unresponsive muscles, but mostly he watched his padawan's face for signs of stress or pain. All he saw was the relief Obi-Wan felt at being outside again, even if he couldn't move on his own. If the younger Jedi could have known it, though, Qui-Gon's thoughts were occupied with more than his apprentice's progress. Memories of Obi-Wan's brush with death, now two days' past, swirled about, mingling with Tahl's admonishments.

When Qui-Gon had left the medical center that morning, there had been no warning sign, nothing to indicate that his padawan was going to waltz with Death. Obi-Wan's condition had remained unchanged for over a week, and Qui-Gon had secretly begun to despair of the boy's recovery. 'The boy. 'My young one.' He scarcely thought of Obi-Wan _as _Obi-Wan, or worse, as 'padawan mine.' To do so would not only confirm, however obliquely, his love for his apprentice, but it would be harder to let Obi-Wan go. Short life as a breathing statue seemed Obi-Wan's fate, and his impending death reminded Qui-Gon so strongly of losing Xanatos, and, to a greater extent, Ahleh, that, subconsciously, he thought of Obi-Wan as already gone. Better to prepare himself for the coming loss than be shocked by it and loose his terrible grief on the kind, though ineffective, Fregalan healers.

So he walked. Every day. From sunrise to sunset, he couldn't be found anywhere in the city. And as he walked, he recited the words he would speak to the Crown Prince, to Tahl, to Bant. Each would react to Obi-Wan's death in their own way, and so Qui-Gon's words to each must be different.

To Bant: "Obi-Wan has died. He's at peace now and"

Maybe not. To Tahl: "He died. No, I didn't tell him. He never woke up. No. I didn't talk to him about my love; he was unconscious. He couldn't hear me! His Living Force was scarcely there and he"

No. To Yoda

_I won't even attempt it._

Qui-Gon wiped distractedly at the tears that had started to fall, and walked faster. Today he was hiking through a mountain range far from any semblance of civilization. He had deactivated his communicator on this, the twelfth day of his vigil-from-afar. Thus far, no one had contacted him during the day and he was left to mourn his dying padawan in peace at night. _In peace. _Qui-Gon grimaced and walked still faster. He was almost running now. Traveling alone, in radio silence, over hazardous terrain: these were all things a Jedi should never seek. But a part of Qui-Gon's mind had ceased to belong to the Jedi Order. This small part belonged to Obi-Wan, and would die with him. And unfortunately, small or not, that part of Qui-Gon's wit and will was guiding the Master's actions. And, worse than his far-off negligence, or the radio-silence borne of it, were the shields Qui-Gon had built around his mind to keep any human contact at a distance. He connected to the plants and rocks around him, but didn't once reach out towards his padawan.

After a light noon-day meal (devoid of Obi-Wan's favorite things, though 'puls and other delicacies were in ready supply) Qui-Gon started back. His heart grew heavier as he descended towards the plain where his ship sat, waiting for him. Qui-Gon couldn't help but think that the windows of the ship looked like accusing eyes. But he discounted that as fancy. Still, just to ease his conscience, he activated his communicator once he was in the air.

"n, come in. Pleaes, Master Qui-Gon, you must return at once."

After a startled pause, Qui-Gon held the communicator to his mouth as he set the autopilot. Best not to offer any explanation for his silence. "What's happened?"

"Master Jedi! We thought you might have been hurt!"

_Is that why you're calling me? _Patiently, "Tell me what's wrong."

"The young Jedi, Obi-Wan-"

_As if I could think she meant anyone else._

"He's dying."

Qui-Gon almost said, "Yes, I know that," but she rushed on:

"His breathing is shallow. His heart races. He has called for you many times."

Qui-Gon disengaged the autopilot and at once pushed the engines past their safety limits. "Tell him I'm coming. Tell him to reach out to the Force. Don't neglect that: reach out to the Force. The Force will keep him alive until I come."

She didn't hesitate. "I will tell him to reach out to the Force, Master Qui-Gon, and that you are coming."

"Thank you. Contact me if there's any change." _Not that I can do much from here. _Qui-Gon forcibly shut off that part of his mind that would engage only in snide comments.

"Yes."

Qui-Gon cut the communication. Not sparing a moment to curse his foolishness, he opened his mind, seeking his padawan's presence.

As before, Obi-Wan's identity, his Force-signature, if you will, was a flickering candle in the vastness of the Force. Qui-Gon leapt across the distance, wrapping himself around that flicker. _Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, I'm here. Obi-Wan, fight. Stay with me. Don't give up. You're strong, Obi mine. _He blinked at the new term of endearment, but set it aside as a distraction. _You have the strength to endure, to overcome. I have faith in you. Reach out to the Force. It waits for you to reach out and draw strength. Obi-Wan, don't give in._

_Qui-Gon?_

The master blinked, his eyes flicking to the communicator; the voice had been so clear. The communicator was silent.

_Qui-Gon? Master?_

_Obi-Wan! I'm here, Padawan mine. Reach out to the Force. You'll live. Reach out, Padawan._

_Yes, Master. _The guttering candle flame burned a bit stronger, but Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan's exhaustion like a smothering blanket. Drawing closer, the master gave all the energy he could spare, and a little he should have kept.

_Tell Bant-_

Qui-Gon longed to interrupt, to order Obi-Wan not to convey deathbed commands. He refrained, fearing these would truly be Obi-Wan's last words.

_-I died in the Force. And Master the same. And Master- _His essence waved.

Alarm lit Qui-Gon's mind with red klaxons. _Obi-Wan, don't-_

_Not your fault, Qui-Gon. Love. May the Force-_

A wave of Dark Force, not particularly strong, but sudden, broke around them. Qui-Gon threw himself over Obi-Wan. But he could not longer hear his padawan's thoughts or sense his state. Again, all he had was that dying flame in the mindst of the Force. And though the Force was ready to help Obi-Wan, it was just as ready to take him into itself.

Unable to help anymore, Qui-Gon pushed the engines harder. Twenty minutes to landing, another five to reach Obi-Wan. The master wiped at his eyes to clear vision. Tears could come later.

Ten minutes to landing. The light that was Obi-Wan had faded to little more than afterglow.

On the ground, Qui-Gon sprinted away from the ship. He'd lost the sense of his padawan, but tried to tell himself that didn't mean his Obi-Wan had died.

The hallways were bustling when he raced into the medical center, but everyone moved aside for him. And when he burst into the room where Obi-Wan had spent the greater part of a fortnight, the doctors stepped back so he could clasp Obi-Wan's hands in his.

"Please," Qui-Gon whispered. Then he was silent and still as he called on his connection to the Living Force to fill the room and revive Obi-Wan. His senses heightened by the Force and his long-established connection to Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon discovered he could hear the young man's heartbeat.

First, too fast: Beatbeatbeatbeat. Beatbeatbeat.Then, slowing as Obi-Wan's heart simply gave out: Beatbeat. Beat.

Beat.

Beat.

Qui-Gon bore down on Obi-Wan's hands, giving of himself. Around him, the world faded. The Master's vision dimmed and his muscles turned to water. He passed out. Sinking to his knees, his cheek came to rest on Obi-Wan's hand.

Beat.

Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat.

Obi-Wan's eyelids trembled and opened. He saw Qui-Gon beside him, the doctors nearby. Smiling, the padawan said, "The Force is with us." Then he fell asleep.

The doctors, unsure if Qui-Gon was still somehow helping Obi-Wan through that mysterious miracle-worker called The Force, left the master there, only covering him with a blanket. Then the royal physician set a nurse to monitor the Jedi, and he led the other doctors away. As they filed out a young doctor asked, "Could we use The Force to heal patients?"

The other doctors chuckled at his lack of knowledge, but the royal physician took pity on him. "Only the Jedi have The Force. Only the Jedi can use The Force." Smiling, remembering when he was that young, he led the others out.

oOo

Anakin rolled over in his sleep, muttering, "Confusing. Quit jumping about."

Sitting at his padawan's bedside, his eyes closed, his mind half-drifting in meditation, Obi-Wan touched the boy's forehead. "Sleep, Anakin. Let the visions come as they may and go as they may. Don't try to make sense of them until you awake. Only the ones you'll need will remain." His fingers traced patterns on Anakin's skin and in his hair. "Be like a piece of wood on the water: drift where the current takes you and don't try to interfere."

Anakin reached out and caught Obi-Wan's hand. "Stay?"

"Yes, padawan mine. I'm with you."

Anakin drew close to Obi-Wan, catching hold of his cloak. "The Force is telling me. I'm going away again."

Obi-Wan smoothed Anakin's bangs back from his forehead. _You need a haircut too, Padawan mine. _He was confused by Anakin's words, but refused to let anxiety enter his thoughts. Around him, both halves of the Light Force hummed, reassuring him that, whatever was happening, it was for the best. "The Force won't hurt you, Anakin. Trust it. And I'll be here when you come back."

Again, the padawan drifted, but now he wasn't afraid to go.

oOo

Back on the bench by the B'yrch trees, Qui-Gon knew he couldn't put off the confession/question any longer.He'd been puzzling over Obi-Wan's words- 'not for fault, Qui-Gon. Love- or had it been: 'not your fault, Qui-Gon, love'? No way to know. No way to learn the intentions behind 'love' without asking. But the confession must come first. Qui-Gon would not force or trick his padawan into making the first admission.

"Obi-Wan, can you hear me?" His padawan blinked, their agreed-upon signal for yes. "When I ask, I'm going to need a verbal answer so there's no doubt. Will you be able to say yes or no when I ask for it?"

Another blink.

One barrier down, one to go before he must confess and ask. "What I'm going to ask, no matter how you answer, will change our relationship. Perhaps for the better, perhaps not." He was stalling; he knew it. "I must know if you're willing to risk what we've earned."

Obi-Wan frowned, a slight down-turn of the right side of his mouth only, and blinked. The frown faded; energy would have been needed to hold it there, energy Obi-Wan could not afford to spare.

Qui-Gon had been kneeling at his padawan's feet, where he'd worked the young man's leg muscles as he fumbled his way towards what he really wanted to say. Now he sat beside Obi-Wan and turned the padawan's head towards him so that their eyes met. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a croak. Closing his eyes for a moment, Qui-Gon collected his wits. Concentrating solely on the green of his Obi-Wan's eyes, he found his voice. "I love you, Obi mine. My love for you is forbidden by the Jedi Code, but you deserve to know of it nonetheless." Obi-Wan's face was expressionless, but that meant nothing. The poison had taken its toll on him in many ways, but most notably the difficulty of connecting his mind to his muscles. Qui-Gon went on, "Here's he first verbal answer I need. Do you understand what love I'm trying to convey?"

Obi-Wan smiled, his lips obeying his mind slowly. "Romantic love." His smile broadened. "I know." He allowed himself to relax, closing his eyes and letting the smile fall away.

Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's hands, sharply reminded of the recent, not-quite-conscious decision to give every bit of energy he possessed to his Obi. "I love you, Obi-Wan. Do you love me?"

Obi-Wan's eyes opened. He blinked, went through the effort of smiling. "I love you, Qui-Gon. I've loved you for two years." An involuntary tremor ran from his shoulders down. "Sleep now." His eyes were closing. "Love."

Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan above one red-gold eyebrow. "I love you, Obi mine. You'll feel stronger soon."

oOo

Obi-Wan dreamed, or so he thought. How else to explain Qui-Gon's words and his own in return? Now, truly waking for the first time, he vowed to discover if he'd imagined the entire exchange. Of the words he'd spoken to the doctors, he hadn't the slightest recollection. He opened his eyes, glad that they didn't feel as heavy as

(before)

in his dream. The room- painted white with a large window- was painted in early-morning shadows and light. Obi-Wan enjoyed the peaceful ebb and flow of the Force around him, then tested his body by turning his head to search for Qui-Gon. Spotting the older man asleep in a chair within easy reach, he smiled and slipped slightly-trembling fingers into the large hand. Content, safe, Obi-Wan closed his eyes again. He was feeling sleepy rather than done in, but slumber still beckoned.

"Obi mine?"

Warm, rough fingers closed around his own. Obi-Wan smiled and squeezed for all he was worth. "Master?" His eyes were still closed. "Did I dream sitting outside with you?"

"No, Obi mine, you didn't."

The padawan wondered why his thoughts were deciding to come so slowly. But then he smiled, untroubled. Let them come as they would. He had The Force (The Force- now, why would he capitalize 'the'?) and he had Qui-Gon. Nothing else needed. "Did I dream you said you loved me?"

"No, Obi."

He smiled and tried to reach up to hug his master. "Did I say I love you?"

Qui-Gon lifted Obi-Wan's braid, kissed it. "Yes, but you must rest now. You've already done much more than yesterday."

Obi-Wan seemed to feel a prickly beard and soft, yielding lips on his neck. Not alarmed, he asked, "Master-"

"Qui-Gon," the other said, his lips moving against Obi-Wan's cheek now. "Go to sleep."

"Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan smiled and fell asleep. A moment later, half awake, "You used Force-influence on me!" Obi-Wan tried to strike his lover playfully, but he couldnj't feel his hand, let alone lift it.

"Yes, I did. And I am again. Go to sleep, Obi-Wan. Maybe tomorrow you'll have the energy to resist me."

The younger man fought the command. "No." Then he succumbed, snoring lightly.

oOo

"Is that the end?" Anakin asked, his eyes half-open.

Obi-Wan reached out to the Force and felt the answer even before he could ask the question. "No. One more, I think, or two. Be patient, Padawan mine. If you aren't quite ready to go back to sleep, tell me what you remember."

"You were hurt. By poison. You couldn't move good. You-" he yawned- "Don't leave, Master."

Containing his surprise, Obi-Wan, said, "I won't. Sleep, Anakin. The Force is with you." And, as Anakin relaxed under his hand, he thought, _He's dreaming of our first time on Fregala, when we couldn't catch the assassins that weren't truly threatening Crown Prince Yeneluk. Is he dreaming of the false starts my relationship with Qui-Gon had? _The moment that thought crossed his mind, Obi-Wan realized it had come directly from the Force. Thanking the Force for such a clear answer to such a minimal question, Obi-Wan turned his attention back to his padawan, rubbing his back in slow circles.

oOo

Opening his eyes the next morning, Obi-Wan looked at once to his right, and smiled effortlessly at Qui-Gon, who was watching him. He blushed as Qui-Gon touched his cheek. His unabashed questions from the day beore came back to him and thought he could only remember bits and pieces, he knew enough to wonder how he dared ask such things. Frowning, he looked away, his blush deepening.

Gentle fingers touched his face and encouraged him to turn his head. Obi-Wan resisted. "Please," that familiar rumbling voice said. But the plea only intensified Obi-Wan's shame. He bit his lip. _How could I confess my love to him? And does he really love me, or was he so glad to see my awake that he humored me? He must have; I dreamed everything he said to me._ Gradually, anger was replacing shame. _Why did he lie to me, calling me Obi mine? Was he so happy to see me awake? Maybe I almost died and he wanted to make sure I would have something to live for. _Obi-Wan knew his master had never done something so cruel, but he wouldn't put it past Qui-Gon to make a mistake. His master was more emotional than most Jedi; his passions often yielded grand and glorious results, but every path led through occasional rough places. Hadn't Qui-Gon taught him that saying?

Drawing in a breath, Obi-Wan decided not to be angry with his master. And he would face his embarrassment like a Jedi, no matter how difficult that was going to be. Turning his head to face Qui-Gon, he watched his master drawn back his hand. Obi-Wan swallowed, wishing he could still feel the warm fingers against his skin, no matter how embarrassed they made him. Being touched by Qui-Gon had always been a comfort before; would that end now? "Forgive me, Master. I shouldn't have taken advantage of our relationship." His next words would put an end to any innocent touches on the arm, and forget hugs, but he had to be honest. "I do love you, but I will not speak of it again."

"Obi mine, why are you saying this?"

Obi-Wan blinked back hot tears. "Please don't call me that, Master." His voice cracked. "It is too intimate for a Master-Padawan team."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "I agree, but is it too intimate for lovers?" He sat forward a little, not touching Obi-Wan. "It's obvious you remember yesterday's conversation and our brief, eventful turn outside." Moving slowly, he took Obi-Wan's hand. "Did you reconsider?"

Obi-Wan studied Qui0Gon's expression, finding it unreadable. "I… I don't know. Can you say it again? Do you-?" He couldn't say it.

"I love you, Obi-Wan. As in romantic love. As in against-the-Jedi-Code love." He laid comforting fingers on Obi-Wan's cheek, caressing his jaw, then moving up to cradle his head. "Do you love me as I love you?"

"Yes." Obi-Wan was pink from his neck to his hair. After looking away for a moment to collect himself, he leaned into Qui-Gon's palm. "I love you." Looking up, he bit his lip again, unable quite yet to rid himself of the unconscious gesture.

"Are you afraid?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. I just don't-" He blushed again, then groaned. "I've never had my love returned before." Wanting to get out of bed, he pushed himself up. But his arms wouldn't hold him and he slid back down, trying to catch himself.

Qui-Gon slipped an arm around his shoulders, holding him up. Obi-Wan tensed. "Relax. I won't drop you." As the younger man obeyed, Qui-Gon added, his eyes twinkling, "And without any Force-influence."

The padawan grinned. "I know. I might not be able to move, but I can still feel the Force." He winked. "Master."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Obi-Wan…"

"You can call me Obi." He blushed again. "Please answer one question: when am I going to stop feeling like a kid and start being your equal?"

"You are my equal, Obi mine. But as to when you'll start knowing that for yourself, well, that's like meditating." He position Obi-Wan back on the bed and took his hand once more. "DO you feel up to a lesson?"

Obi-Wan made a show of rolling his eyes. "Only if I can help teach it."

"So brazen, Padawan mine. Very well. Tell me the lesson, and, if you can, the story I was going to use to illustrate it."

"Yes, Master. When I was first learning how to meditate, you old me the Force was a friend waiting for me. And when I stepped out to meet it, this friend would take my hand and walk with me always. I didn't get it then, but one day, when Bant and I were in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, I was reaching down to help her out of the pool she'd been swimming in. She didn't need my help, but it that's just like the Force. What you had said about reaching out to the Force clicked. The Force didn't need my help, but it was still there to take my hand." He laughed. "And I'm not making any sense except to myself. If I ever become a Master, I'll confuse my padawan."

Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan's lips. "If I was a padawan, I would meditate on your wisdome and decide, after long hours of contemplation, that your wisdom was sound, in an many-layered, Jedi sort of way." Bending down, he brushed his lips against Obi-Wan's cheek.

The padawan turned his head so their lips met. "I'm going back to sleep, okay? Teaching wears me out."

Qui-Gon kissed him and then sat back, taking Obi-Wan's hand into his lap. "Good night, Obi mine."

Obi-Wan pulled his hand away. "Go to sleep." He bent all his will into his words and moved his hand discreetly for good measure.

His master blinked, startled. "If I wasn't so well-versed in that trick myself, I'd be asleep now." He stood. "I'll make a bed for myself on the floor."

"How many nights have you gone without sleep? And if you give me a number bigger than three, you've beaten the record you set when I was poisoned by the adterling on Dridus Two."

"None. I've slept one hour a night for the last two weeks."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Go to sleep, Master."

oOo

In his sleep, Anakin grinned, then chuckled, then slipped into his first real sleep of the night. Obi-Wan, still rubbing the boy's back, felt the intense concentration of the Force ease, returning to its normal, always-there murmur that hummed in his bones whenever he cared to stop and listen. _We'll see what you remember in the morning, Padawan mine. _Not wanting to leave, but knowing he must sleep, Obi-Wan called another chair over to him with Force, put his legs up on it, called a blanket and pillow over, and spent the rest of the night asleep beside his padawan.


	17. Getting Reacquainted Master'Apprentice

**Author's Note:** Another long pause. I'm hoping there will be less and less of these, but I'm not sure from one week to the next how my schedule will be.

As for this chapter… enjoy!

Getting Reacquainted: Master and Apprentice

"Master, can I go work on my droid?"

Obi-Wan studied his teenage padawan, weighing the privilege against the day's events. The boy had done well during lightsaber practice, but that was expected. And Anakin had flown expertly- nothing out of the ordinary. But he had also sat still for an hour, drawing what he saw in front of him: a shelf of books, a vase of dying flowers, Obi-Wan meditating. And Anakin had come to ask permission instead of sneaking off.

From his place on the floor, his legs still crossed, Obi-Wan answered, "Change one word in your request and you may go."

Anakin grinned and sketched a bow that would have been formal if his eyes hadn't been dancing. "May I go work on my droid, Master Obi?"

"Yes, you may. Be back before moonrise. We have an early call tomorrow morning." _And we both know how hard you can be to raise when you haven't slept enough._

Used to Obi-Wan's secrets, Anakin didn't pry. He might get somewhere if he pestered long enough, but the time spent would be time lost to working with spare parts. He bowed, still grinning. "Yes, Master." He dashed out of their quarters and down the hall.

Chuckling, Obi-Wan stood in the doorway and watched Anakin until he disappeared around the next corner. Strictly speaking, padawans weren't supposed to run in the corridors, but Anakin had done well for the day; Obi-Wan was willing to let one small infraction go.

Alone now, Obi-Wan wondered what he should do with the unexpected four hours of free time. Meditation and sleep beckoned, as did the half-finished book on his desk, but he forsook all these for the younglings' playroom.

Wandering gradually in that direction, Obi-Wan took the opportunity to reach out to the Force, which somehow seemed closer in the Temple. That was an illusion, of course, but Obi-Wan still loved to sense all the Jedi, padawans, and younglings who lived in such a relatively small area. He closed his eyes and walked, allowing the Force to guide his steps. He read the people around him by the mixture of Living and Unifying Force they reflected, and also by the overall strength of their connection.

Padawan. Padawan. Jedi Knight- one relatively new to the title. A herd of younglings- four or five years old and giggling so much he didn't really need the Force to tell him who they were. A Jedi Master walked behind them, and Obi-Wan tried to guess who without opening his eyes. When he was certain, he opened his eyes and found Yoda hovering before him at eye-level, his eyes sparkling.

"Guessed it was me did you, Master Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan bowed.

"But knew I was so close did you?"

The younglings were watching closely, their eyes huge. All giggling had stopped. "No, Master," Obi-Wan answered in good humor. "I was focusing more on your identity than your location."

Yoda nodded. "Working with the droids your padawan is?"

"Yes. He had a good day."

"More frequent those are becoming."

Obi-Wan resisted a wry smile. To have a good day 'three times in a month' was certainly improvement over 'once every forty days,' but Anakin still have a long way to go.

"Patience, Obi-Wan," Yoda said, touching the younger master's shoulder. "Built in a day the Temple was not."

Obi-Wan bowed. _I will never give up on him._

"Come, younglings. Much still there is to see."

When he reached the playroom, Obi-Wan joined the two padawans that had been assigned to watch the group of younglings between the ages of three and six. The girl, two years Anakin's senior, smiled at him. "Hi, Master Obi-Wan."

He nodded. "Hello, Nela." Bant's padawan reminded Obi-Wan of Qui-Gon, but that was to be expected; her connection to the Living Force fairly called to all around her. No wonder she spent much of her time at Temple with the younglings.

The Master turned to Padawan Arnen. "How is Master Gareth?"

The blond-haired young man brushed at his braid, his eyes on the younglings. "He's feeling better, but the medics won't release him until tomorrow."

When Gareth was taken into the medical center, any master that was free began looking in on his seventeen-year old padawan, not so much because Arnen needed looking after, but because the senior padawan might need a way to relieve some of his worry. Being attacked by an unknown enemy and being left for dead on a forsaken world was only the beginning of the nightmare Gareth and Arnen had endured.

Obi-Wan hadn't been able to help Arnen; Anakin took up most of his time. But now, with a few minutes to himself, the Master performed two tasks at once: he had the opportunity to speak with the suffering padawan, and also to check on the five-year old red-headed girl who played among the other children.

Annie Jenn didn't know who her parents were, and seemed content with that lack of knowledge. Like most younglings, she simply felt as though she belonged at the Temple. Annie liked to play with the Force toys and she was talented with them for someone so young. Obi-Wan enjoyed especially her surprised laugh when something worked for the first time. He had only seen her a dozen times since he'd given her up to the Temple, and seven of those times were in her first year.

_Then, quite suddenly, I stopped having so much free time. Anakin needed me much more than I needed to see her. And even if that hadn't been the case, I learned long ago that part of a Master's job is to put aside his own needs so he can be there for his padawan._

Annie was using her Force-powers to throw a ball a little distance, then catch it with those same powers and bring it back. She used the Force like two pairs of hands: one to throw, the other to catch. In the intervening moment, the ball was in free fall. Different than just levitating the ball from place to place, she showed amazing aptitude and ingenuity. It troubled Obi-Wan to see how confident she was.

_I know the Force sensitivity of the child has little to do with what his or her parents were like. But her ability to use the Force and free fall in a perfect cycle at five years old is so much more advanced than any of the other younglings here. She resembles ber'Nac much more closely than she does me. _He wouldn't shiver where others could see him, but Obi-Wan felt the tension creeping up his spine nonetheless. Taking in a silent, cleansing breath, he let it out discreetly. _Her skills are like his, and when I see her I remember again and again the words the Dark Force sent me. I know she is but a child, but when she is grown, what will she be?_

Frustrated with himself, Obi-Wan turned his eyes to the other younglings. _A Jedi does not ask 'what if' questions. A Jedi is connected to the Unifying Force and waits on the Force to help him with what will come. _His lip twitched in the approximation of a smile. _I was always the one dependant on the Unifying Force and now I must remind myself to access it. But that strange switch could be traced to this: I've sought after Qui-Gon's memory too much of late._

The months after Qui-Gon and Ferus left Temple went by with scarcely a ripple of sadness, mostly because Obi-Wan was so busy with the new adventure of training a padawan without help. True, he had dreamed of his lover, but those dreams hadn't overflowed into his waking hours.

Then the trouble started, and he responded to that trouble by meditating on Qui-Gon's teachings, just as he had done as a padawan. It began first with a feeling that stalked Obi-Wan as he walked about the Temple, talking with Anakin, or tending things while the boy was at classes. Too vague to be named, it nevertheless disturbed him, crawling under his skin to fester there. No amount of meditation could either dissipate it or bring it into sharper focus that it might be identified. In his thoughts, Obi-Wan had likened the feeling to being watched by someone who lusted him. He didn't know if that was exactly right, but it was closer than trying to attach the feeling to the Dark Force. The impression wasn't specifically from the Dark Force, and so Obi-Wan had no true point of reference. Perhaps that was why it disturbed him so.

He never showed his anxiety to anyone, not even Anakin, who began having problems with other padawans shortly thereafter. And though Obi-Wan tried to link the feeling to Anakin's new, aggressive behavior, the Light Force told him over and over that the two had nothing to do with one another. That was one of the few answers he could get, and he cherished it, meditating on that truth when nothing else would come. Knowing that his padawan was not connected to the stalker feeling eased his mind.

As to Anakin's feelings, they were a mystery to Obi-Wan until he compared them with Siri's. Siri, Adi Gallia's padawan years ago, had met every challenge with anger and a fierce desire to compete. This trait had gotten her into trouble on more than one occasion, but slowly she'd learned that every moment was not the proper one to fight. But until that time, she'd fought with Jedi and non-Jedi alike.

_Yes, she learned, and she learned the most when she couldn't face a challenge without help. But everything Anakin comes up against turns out to be no struggle for him. He conquers even the greatest challenges here at Temple without breaking a sweat. And as to our missions, most of those… _Obi-Wan stopped, admitting that he hadn't given Anakin much of a chance to learn on their missions. _I've been playing the protective Master, haven't I? _He groaned. _I told Qui-Gon I would follow his teachings, but not all of them. And here I am committing his worst mistake: not letting the padawan experience life without a shield. And Qui-Gon let me fall on my face from time to time. I'll talk to Anakin about that tonight and let him take a more active role in things. And even if we don't go off-planet for a few days, I can let him begin the process by greeting the returning Jedi tomorrow morning. He knows the words; he's heard me speak them to Bant, Ryn-yn and others many times._

Not every Jedi was welcomed back to Temple in such a way, but sometimes, if that Jedi had been a close friend or had been gone for an exceptionally long time, he or she was welcomed back by a Jedi or two. _And even though there will be plenty who want to welcome this Jedi, they will wait for me to make the first move this one time._

_How will Anakin react, I wonder? _Yoda's comment about Anakin's improvement played in Obi-Wan's mind and he longed to sigh. _Every day we start again, or so it seems, as if his mind is reset at night, filled again with the restlessness and the frustration and the impatience. And forget getting him to sit still to meditate, if only for a little while. Getting him to draw was a great triumph today. _Did most masters feel so tested and foiled when they dealt with their padawans? Obi-Wan didn't know, and he admitted that it didn't matter what others went through, only how he could at last help Anakin.

_And some of the things I've been trying work. Exercising vigorously each morning before his classes saps some of his energy so that he doesn't disrupt. And he's still apparently able to pay attention, because his grades are the highest of any padawan. He's been accelerated into the third level, when he should still be in the second, two-year, level. _

_But he won't sit to meditate, and he argues with other padawans and sometimes Jedi, so that every triumph has an attendant setback. I'm the only Master he hasn't yelled at, but I'm also the only Master he will ignore, turning away when I try to teach, or interrupting. That is no way for a padawan to behave._

_And yet, just to round this out, to extol his strengths one more time, he's consciously working on his anger now. How much of my worry about him is simple selfishness? Why, since he has trouble relating to everyone else, shouldn't he have trouble with me? I'm no more special than anyone else. By the Force, if he can yell at Yoda, why should I expect perfect behavior from him towards me?_

Obi-Wan blinked, coming out of his near-meditation. He sensed that the two padawans had moved a little away from him, probably out of respect when they sensed that his mind was far away. _Do they think I was accessing the Force signatures put out by these little ones? _His lip twitched again. _And I should probably be doing just that. _Turning his eyes back to Annie, he added, _Or at least enjoy watching my little girl for the few minutes I can. Who knows when I'll get this chance again?_

oOo

Returning to the quarters he shared with his master, Anakin went into the small bedroom Obi-Wan had converted to an office. The boy had only spent an hour working, which was unlike him, but he'd had something more important to do. However, saying that he was going to work with the droids was a sure way to get Obi-Wan out of their quarters for a little while. The Master would be down in the younglings' playroom now, watching his daughter. Anakin had snuck in to see her once or twice, but she made him feel uncomfortable. The Force signature he got from her was completely benign, and yet he continued to feel haunted around her, as if either she or someone using her eyes had marked him for execution and was simply waiting for the right time. And no matter the lack of Dark Force, Anakin trusted his instincts. It was a skill he'd come with, a skill that had saved both himself and his master on more than one mission. And still Obi-Wan did not credit it.

_That's probably because he doesn't trust his instincts unless they're connected to the Force. _Then Anakin groaned. _Or maybe a Jedi isn't_ _supposed to listen to anything that isn't the Force. _But he didn't quite believe that; Obi-Wan had said himself that each Jedi had six senses, and to exclude any one as inferior was to become weaker. _True, he wasn't talking about instincts, but I think this is another sense, maybe inspired by the Force, but not Dark Force-sensitive. _

Anakin gazed at the prompt on the computer screen: password needed. _And if I didn't know it already, I could guess. _He typed "noitatidem", meditation backwards. Meditation was Obi-Wan's answer to everything, or so it seemed to Anakin. The system accepted his password and opened.

Anakin cast out into the Force, discreetly seeking his Master. He found Obi-Wan surrounded by the Force signatures of younglings, and nodded to himself. _Still safe. _He began pulling up files. The first few were records of planets Obi-Wan had explored and the pertinent facts about both the planet, and the mission he'd been on, whether it was with Qui-Gon or Anakin. The padawan rolled his eyes when he saw these, but nevertheless looked for Ragoon 6, curious to see what Obi-Wan had written.

'Ragoon 6: second time here; learning to work together as two masters and a padawan. Felt like a master and two padawans to me most of the time; now I miss it. Annie Jinn Kenobi (Annie Jenn) was born here twenty-seven days before this date.'

_He wrote that just after Qui-Gon left with his new Padawan. _Anakin filed that bit of information away and went on to the next file, noticing that Obi-Wan hadn't said anything about the feeling of the Dark Force.

He skimmed the rest of the files he had instant access to, then started prying just a little. Obi-Wan had protected several files, and Anakin began trying to slip around the firewalls without tripping the system. He had to admit that Obi-Wan knew how to set up a basic, but effective, security system. It would keep out most people, not because of its complexity, but the myriad ways alarms could be set off. But Anakin recognized the set up of the system: it reminded him strongly of the way Obi-Wan organized their days together: work, eat, work, eat, play, work, eat, play, rest. Not a real pattern, but that transferred into the computer this way: First, it was difficult to access even the prompt for a password. Once you were past that, you fed the computer the information it wanted. Then: a request for secret information that only Obi-Wan (or possibly Qui-Gon) should know. Enter that information. Next: you thought you were in, complete with the file sitting right there in front of you. But if you tried to open it without checking for tripwires, you'd trigger the alarms. After this, you had to find the request for password and type it in. Last: more playing with your mind, but this time you had to wait five minutes, an exercise in patience. Anakin wondered if there was a way to bypass all this, then decided there probably wasn't, since Obi-Wan believed very strongly in patience. _He probably sits here and mediates until the system tells him it's ready._

At last, time for rest for either Obi-Wan or the hacker as the information poured out, easily readable now.

Not all of the files were like this, Anakin was relieved to learn. Sometimes, by following the above steps, one could access a folder of files, and have ten files for your trouble. A folder titled "Missions" was like this, and Anakin accessed it, curious to see what Obi-Wan could have written that hadn't been in the main files. Again, he accessed the second Ragoon 6 on the list, and found this: 'being followed again by the Dark Force; I'm a target again; this time not just me, but Anakin. Not sure if Qui-Gon is being watched. Why are we so interesting? What is it about us, or what could happen to us, that would draw the Dark Force? I know Anakin being the Chosen One is surely part of it, but what about before he became my padawan? Or did the Dark Force know, even then, that I would train Anakin, and it wanted to stop me? Perhaps I'm making myself too important, or misinterpreting this altogether. No. The Light Force is telling me I'm on the right track. But the Dark Force is, as always, clouded and shadowed. I'll have to be patient if I want to find out why it targeted Anakin and me, and why it spoke of Annie as someone it was waiting for: '_We came only in response to the child. When she is ready, she will fulfill her destiny in us.' _I love you, Annie, and I almost wish you weren't Force-sensitive. Maybe then you would be safe. I love you, little one.'

_So, in the main files he keeps the recordable facts, the provable things. In here he keeps his feelings. _Anakin read through the list of missions, and discovered that every one he'd been on with his master was there. _Later, _he thought as he spotted the two missions titled "Fregala".

Back when he was nine, and he had first woken from his dream of the B'yrch tree planet, he hadn't been able to remember very much. But bits and pieces had been revealed to him in the intervening five years, until he could recall not only every image, but every nuance as well. That first sojourn to Fregala had been more of a discovery period for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon than a mission, especially because they hadn't been able to solve anything. Anakin opened the second Fregala, thinking, _Maybe this time they got some answers._

'As long as I live, I will never understand what happened here, at least not completely. Qui-Gon and I were summoned back to Fregala not because the Crown Prince was being threatened, but by a dream both of us had. The dream ran this way: Lost in the Crystal Cave, Qui-Gon and I were still together. He was holding my hand, and I had to be no more than three or four years old. Around us, visions of a desert planet were intermixed with images of the Temple, Master Yoda, a hulking shape big as the doors of a shuttle bay, and a boy seven or eight years old with brown-blond hair. Neither of us recognized him. Then the images were all overswept by the Dark Force, a wave stronger than anything I've ever felt before. I've only felt the Dark Force twice: when Xanatos laid siege to the Temple four years ago, and then later, when Qui-Gon and I chased Xanatos to Telos. In the dream, Qui-Gon picked me up and told the Dark Force to go away, that it couldn't have me. Then a voice answered: _We don't want him dead. He must live so our Lady will live, and so the young Desert Lord will take His place in history._

'And that's the end. After that, we both either passed into other, forgettable dreams or woke up. When I woke from the dream, I took it to Qui-Gon, hoping he would be able to explain things. We never sleep together for fear of being discovered, but his door is always open to me, just like before we took our vows. Qui-Gon listened to me tell the dream, then explained that he'd had the same one. We obtained permission from Master Yoda to go to Fregala, where the Force seemed to be calling us.

'I don't know if we were really ready for the trip. Master Tahl had only been dead for two weeks; it was too soon for Qui-Gon, I think, and there's only so much I can do to help him. But Master Yoda said it was time for a mission, and though he warned us to be careful and stay connected to the Light Force, I think he was glad to get us out of the Temple. We never spent more than five or six days at Temple from the time I was ten until after we brought Tahl's body back.

'I sound like I don't miss her. I do, but I'll write about that later. This is about Fregala and what I feel was a physical manifestation of the Dark Force.

'On top of the vision, we were also going to Fregala to bury our baby girl. Sensible, right? Qui-Gon and I fell in love there, and there was where we were thinking of sending any of our children who weren't Force-sensitive.

I hadn't thought of a name for her when we were ready to leave. Her death came only six days after Master Tahl's, and I thought Qui-Gon and I would fall apart for sure because we were both in so much pain. But we made it through. Maybe it was the mission to Fregala that saved us. Not that I'll ever thank the Dark Force for it.

'On Fregala, we buried her under the name Jinn-Kenobi, knowing we were leaving a trail for the Council to follow if it was ever so inclined, but neither of us wanted to dishonor her by burying her under an assumed name. We considered burning her, as the bodies of Jedi are committed back to nature, but the Fregalans don't agree with such practices, and we had already taken advantage of the royal family's goodwill by asking permission to bury a foreigner on their soil, something that was extraordinarily rare.

'While we were mediating beside her grave early one morning, we both felt a wave of the Dark Force coming from the south. We stood, but didn't reach for our lightsabers yet. Qui-Gon remained relaxed, and I imitated him. Everything around us was drenched in mist and shadows, but the Force spoke as clearly as ever. When the two attackers leapt from behind two tombs, we were ready and met them head-on. The first clue I had that we'd fought these two before was when the one I was fighting said, "We won't leave the job half-done this time, Jedi." Even though I'd never heard him speak before, he'd grunted once or twice the last time we'd fought. And the echo I heard from the Force as it bounced off him was the same.

'I sent Qui-Gon the realization, and he sent back, _Be careful, Padawan mine. Move closer to me. _So, just like last time, we tried to stay back-to-back in order to protect each other. I didn't know if I'd learned enough in the intervening year to be more of a challenge to my assailant, but that doesn't matter when you're fighting. You connect to the Force and go from there.'

Anakin rolled his eyes. _And all this time I thought he was just lecturing me to hear himself talk or because he thought I needed to hear it. Now I know he really _thinks _like that! _He grinned, but in a way, he felt a little guilty. _Obi's never put on airs for me; he talks to me just like he thinks. I wonder how many masters actually do that._ But the moment of introspection evaporated and he turned back to the journal entry, what might have made a good story, he admitted, if his master hadn't actually lived through it.

'As we fought, I felt the Dark Force close by, but it wasn't coming from the two we were fighting. And it seemed to be held back by the Light Force. Again, I heard the threatening words from the dream we shared, but I wasn't sure if they were a memory or a real sending. Then something was added, and I knew I wasn't remembering it: _Wait for the darkest part of the night, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and then step out to meet us. Then you may die quickly with honor. The Light Force will not save you, but you may die defending those you love. _Qui-Gon never heard it. But I'll never forget the words, I don't think; it's as if the Light Force cemented them in my mind. I don't know what to do with the information, though. Qui-Gon tells me often enough to let the future take care of itself and pay attention to the present. I will, but I need to understand why the Dark Force singled me out. I'm not a Jedi Knight, or even a Padawan intuitively connected to the Force. How could I possibly interest anyone or anything?

'But my day for hearing from the Force of Light or Dark wasn't done yet. Just as I was about to completely lose my bearings, and maybe die because I was distracted, the Light Force surged around me and told me to jump. I did, and someone flew under me, slamming into my assailant. As I descended, turning a somersault and pushing off a tombstone so there was a little distance between me and the two on the ground, I saw that the attacker who'd been fighting Qui-Gon had careened into his partner with his sword drawn. My assailant was dead, and even as I watched, the other one killed himself with a knife. Now we'll never know who they were, really, or why they were after us, or how their appearance was connected to the dreams and to the Dark Force speaking to me. Qui-Gon and I reported to the royal family that the would-be assassins had reemerged, but were now dead. Then we said good-bye to our daughter and returned to Coruscant.'

There was a break of about four lines, then this quick note:

'I'm twenty-one now instead of seventeen, and I understand two things: Anakin was the boy we saw in the dream, and the desert was Tatooine. Nothing else has made itself apparent yet. Two speculations: the Lady the Dark Force spoke of might be Annie, and the Desert Prince might be Anakin. But I'll never do the Dark Force's work for it if I can help myself, so I won't believe those things until I have proof.'

Anakin sat back, frowning. But then, aware that Obi-Wan could return at any moment, he exited out of the file and glanced over the others. Another mission jumped out at him and he opened it. This was a mission he'd been on, and one where he'd caused quite a bit of trouble by following his instincts instead of the Force. Though he still trusted his instincts, this time he knew he should have listened to the Force. Reaching out again, he found Obi-Wan still with the younglings. A slight ripple in the Force told him his master was half-meditating, and Anakin rolled his eyes again. _Maybe meditating too much is a sickness or something. _He grinned. _Okay, it's not, but it could be. _He accessed the file.

Peroa-Shi II: 'I was unforgivably short with Anakin yesterday. The two of us were following the rumor of a Dark Force user who had been tormenting the Perians. That's not much to go on, but it was enough for Anakin and I to be assigned to the mission and start on a journey that took us only six hours, since the Pertoa-Shi solar system is at the heart of the Republic.

'We came to the planet in disguise, looking for information first. That led us to a small pub where we ran into an old friend of mine. Unn See used to live on Coruscant. She was always ready to help the Jedi, especially after I saved her sister from a would-be whoremaster. In truth, I shouldn't have been in the position to help Aann See, but the Light Force drew me to the crowded tavern against Qui-Gon's wishes. So I was meant to be there, but I didn't have permission. I was only fifteen then.

'All that history aside, Unn See told us Force-sensitives had been disappearing in the vicinity of this ill-reputed novelty store ten blocks east and twelve blocks north. The store was called "Smile at the Sun," innocuous as that sounds, and was avoided by anyone with good sense. Unn is a Force-sensitive herself, though her parents decided not to give her to the Temple, and she'd been afraid to go out. I told her Anakin and I would investigate.

'Anakin was fascinated by her, I think, because she was like him: a Force-sensitive who had done a lot of growing up outside the Temple. And to top it off, she was a Force-sensitive who didn't want anything to do with the Dark Force. Even though Anakin's a padawan, I think that validated him somehow. I'm glad; he needs encouragement, especially when I am unduly harsh.'

Anakin frowned; a thought tickled the back of his mind, but he let it go and kept reading. There would be time later to consider everything.

'Outside the "Smile in the Sun" novelty shop, I cloaked my connection to the Force and also Anakin's, as long as he stayed close to me. Maybe I should have told him why I wanted him to stay close; he might have been more willing to do so. Our faces hidden by hoods, our garments ragged cloth that hid our lightsabers, we entered the shop. The front of the store was devoted to children's toys and games. I saw several small robots that Anakin would have enjoyed if this had been a real pleasure trip. And of course no child's shop was ever so deserted. There was someone tending the counter, and Anakin, and me, only. The Dark Force hummed around us, low but there, seeming to hide behind the cherry merchandise. And the smell of the air was wrong for a place like that. It was too dry, carrying the smell of iron and copper. These metal smells were almost surely blood, though there was nothing around us to give credence to that. The metal scents drew me towards the back of the shop, but I didn't head that way at first. No need to rouse suspicion by moving swiftly in that direction when we could slip back without being noticed.

'Anakin and I were making our way in that direction when the Force warned of imminent danger. I dropped to a crouch and motioned to Anakin. He dropped, too, but the energy bolts that came flying over our heads broke the support strut above us and we had to roll to get out of the way. As we got our bearings, two beings raced past us and raced for the door. Anakin drew his lightsaber and went after them, telling me they were just across the street; he could sense it. The Force told me differently and I tried to warn him, but he was already gone. I followed him, because no mission's success is worth my padawan's life, but he was already running in the clear, unsheltered and not looking. I didn't feel him reach out to the Force once.

'And even now I am angry, though more with myself than with him. I should have leapt out right then instead of trying to call him back. I waited a moment, ordering him to get behind some cover, then started out. If I had moved sooner, maybe neither of us would have been injured. Thus, I caught the energy bolt that was meant for my padawan's head with my lightsaber, but missed the next one. I am fortunate Qui-Gon taught me how to keep moving past pain to safety. My leg is still swollen from the wound above my knee, but I've hidden it from Anakin. It's not sore now, only irritating in its tendency to give me a slight limp unless I'm constantly vigilant.

'Anakin turned back when he was in the shelter of the store awning across the way, and he had his lightsaber up, ready to defend himself. But the one who had shot at me was gone, and a moment later I had thrown myself over Anakin as "Smile in the Sun" exploded, raining timbers and durasteel and other materials around us. Whoever was abducting Force-sensitives has disappeared now, and though Anakin and I have three more days here, we will be starting at the beginning.

'I gave Anakin a twenty-minute lecture when we were alone and I was using the medical kit to tend my leg. Some of my crispness might have been linked to the pain, but only a small part. Mostly, I was angry (a trait no Jedi should indulge in) that he'd ignored me. He could have been killed, and even though we'd both lived through the venture, we now had to start from scratch. On and on, and he sat there, looking at me, not speaking, not moving. If I'd thought about it, I should have been shocked that he sat so still for so long. But all I could see was the danger he'd put himself in by not accessing the Force. "You're an extremely perceptive Padawan," is what I told him as I removed the bolt and started cleaning the wound, "but why you ignore your greatest strength, I'll never understand. Many Jedi would love to have the easy connection to the Force that you have. Why do you have to ignore it, belittle it, spit on every lesson you've learned at Temple?" I'll regret this tirade for the rest of my life. When my final moments come, if I have time to recall anything, I will remember how I hurt my young padawan, who must learn how to make mistakes someday. And I'd rather have him make them now than later when I won't be there. I only hope I haven't completely destroyed our partnership and we can rebuild what's been torn down.'

The padawan sat back in the desk chair and got out of Obi-Wan's private files. Then he shut down the computer. As the machine's quiet hum was silenced, the boy jumped up and left the office. He shut the door and went to the living room to pace.

_When did he find time to write all that? _Not important just then. _That mission was three weeks ago. Has he forgiven me for almost getting him killed? Has he forgiven himself for trying to get me to see reason? Does he think I'm still hurt?_

True, the rest of the mission had been tense, but they'd finally cornered and captured the two Force-sensitives that had been capturing others of their kind, closing Force-collars about their necks and shipping them off-planet to only the Force knew where. Obi-Wan had said something about their prisoners not being "what I felt; there was something more here" but Anakin had been too relieved that Obi-Wan was actually talking again that he hadn't paid too much attention to the worry in his master's voice.

The ride back to Coruscant had been relatively pleasant; Obi-Wan hadn't spoken any more of Anakin's mistake, and he hadn't been favoring his leg- _Except he was hiding that from me the second day. How long after that did it continue to hurt him? _Tempted to anger, the padawan had to admit that Obi-Wan had every right to keep his injuries to himself, especially when maybe he didn't trust Anakin. _Maybe because I'd run off without permission once he thought I would do so again if I thought he couldn't follow quickly. _Anakin groaned and paced faster. _I didn't mean to not hear him! I just _didn't_ hear him!_

He stopped dead. "Does he trust me again or haven't I done enough to show him I'm sorry? Did I do anything to show him I'm sorry?" Anakin was forced to admit that he hadn't really thought much about the mission once they'd returned to the Temple and he'd resumed his old routine with classes and beside his master. And seemingly it wasn't on Obi-Wan's mind, either. Could it have simply disappeared as if it had never happened? But, no, events never did that. They formed a new level of feeling, always, or even a new behavior. _And if I remember, he must remember._

_But, then again, if he didn't trust me, would he still allow me to call him Obi? _Anakin remembered the day he and his master had been crouching in a tiny hut on a far-distant planet, waiting for one of the planet's frequent, violent storms to ease up so they could continue traveling. Obi-Wan had built the hut with only a little help from Anakin, who had been half-frozen at the time. When the hut was done, Obi-Wan picked up eleven–year old Anakin and carried him inside. Anakin had whispered, "Thank you, Obi." Later, when he'd come to his senses, he'd apologized for using Qui-Gon's endearment, to which Obi-Wan had answered, "No, Anakin, don't apologize. I associate that name less with Qui-Gon now than with those I am close to. Feel free to call me Obi." He had chuckled as he built a small fire. "Just don't forget that at Temple other masters might consider it rude if you called me Master Obi."

_I called him Obi this morning, and he allowed it. He must trust me again. _He sighed. _Either that or he was hiding his discomfort like when his leg was injured._

Anakin squared his shoulders. _I'll have to talk to him. _He left their quarters, striding down the corridor with his head up, his eyes front. He was tempted to run, but he knew that if he was caught that would only delay his time with Obi-Wan. They had to talk now, before whatever mission was going to occur in the morning. Anakin knew from experience that there was rarely time to talk during missions.

_But maybe, since he's with Annie, I should wait until tonight. _Anakin had stopped short and a voice said, "Perhaps give a little warning you should."

Anakin turned and saw Yoda floating just behind him. He bowed. "Master Yoda, I'm sorry." _But why were you following so close?_ "I was just thinking." That sounded foolish and he blushed. "I'm going to meet O- my master," he added, hoping Yoda wouldn't hold him up. He wanted to add that Obi-Wan was waiting for him, but that was a lie, and Jedi didn't lie.

Yoda nodded. "Accompany you a little way I will. Heading for the younglings' playroom, are you?"

"Yes, Master." Anakin started to walk again, and noticed that Yoda floated beside him. Usually, ti was a padawan's job to walk behind a master.

"Accompanying Obi-Wan on his mission tomorrow are you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Glad I am to hear that. Time it is for two teams to work together."

Anakin glanced at Yoda, confused by that oblique statement. "Master?"

Yoda raised an eyebrow. "Know the nature of your mission you do not?"

"No, Master. Master Obi-Wan didn't say anything, only that it would start early."

"Hmm. Leaving tomorrow evening you are. Early that is not." Yoda was frowning lightly. "Perhaps read his messages Obi-Wan has not. Been in your quarters since lunch has he?"

"No, Master."

"Ah. Explain his lack of knowledge that does. Then to what mission were you referring?" Then he brightened. "Ah. To meet the shuttle tomorrow you are." He smiled. "Yes, a mission Obi-Wan would consider that." Yoda produced a datapad from his robe and handed it to Anakin. "Here the orders for tomorrow evening's mission are. Give this to Obi-Wan will you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Good. Excuse me, you must. Work I must do." Yoda turned left and Anakin kept walking straight.

Curious, Anakin considered reading the datapad, which only had one password required. But his need to see his master and apologize hadn't disappeared, and he thought reading his master's private messages wouldn't increase Obi-Wan's faith in him.

When he reached the younglings' playroom, Anakin stood outside and looked in through one of the windows. His eyes immediately lit upon Obi-Wan, who sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by younglings. The Master had his hands up and Anakin sensed him using the Force, gently. Obi-Wan directed it at two or three younglings at a time, and their job was to hold their ground. Some of them had to brace themselves as they stood about him, and others stood firm. Anakin noticed that Annie was one of those who stood straight and tall without giving in.

Settling himself in to watch for a little while, Anakin leaned against the wall by the window. His eyes sparkled as he watched Obi-Wan working with the younglings in a way that seemed to be a game. _Maybe he should be a teacher of the young, like Master Yoda. _Anakin bit his lip at the sudden intensity of his sorrow. _He could have been. He didn't have to take me. _Then he mastered his emotions. He didn't want Obi-Wan reaching out to him, or looking through the window, and finding out how miserable his padawan was. Anakin wanted Obi-Wan to have at least a little untroubled time.

When all the younglings had been tested, Obi-Wan moved to a kneeling position. He was speaking, and by using the Force Anakin could hear him. "I'll be bending my Force-will against yours. Make sure you use the Force to counter me. I'm going to try to give you suggestions. These aren't orders; they're Force-induced suggestions. Don't obey me. Ready? One at a time."

Anakin blinked. _Aren't they a little young for this? And they'll be so disappointed when they find out they can't resist you._

Obi-Wan turned to a sturdily-built boy. "Brent, clap your hands." Discreetly, the master moved his own hand.

Brent's hands came up, but he pushed them back down, actually grabbing his tunic this time.

Obi-Wan tried again. "Clap your hands." Anakin felt a little more Force-pressure being used.

Brent stood firm.

Obi-Wan smiled. "Congratulations, young one."

Brent grinned and sat down.

On to the next. And the next. Slowly, Obi-Wan made his way around to each. Some weren't as good as Brent, but each tried. And when a youngling couldn't resist, Obi-Wan sent him or her over to the two padawans who had been watching the exercise all this time and compelled them to practice, then return.

Almost an hour passed in this way. As each youngling returned from practicing, Obi-Wan tested him or her again. At last, every youngling had passed. Obi-Wan and the two padawans applauded all of them. Then Obi-Wan said, "I must go. My padawan is waiting." He bowed. "Good-bye, younglings."

They all bowed back. "Good-bye, Master Obi-Wan."

But as the young ones turned back to their games, Obi-Wan caught the male padawan's eye and drew him into a corner to have a quick conversation. Anakin watched them until Obi-Wan broke away. As he did, Anakin realized the padawan had wept a little, and Obi-Wan had screened him from the others. Now the padawan bowed to the master, and Obi-Wan returned the bow.

He emerged from the youngling's playroom a moment later. "Hello, Anakin. Are you all right? It's not quite time for us to meet up, is it?"

"No, Master. I only…" Now that he was actually talking to Obi-Wan, Anakin realized he didn't know what he should say. He swallowed. "Master, I…" _Why didn't' I spend all that waiting time planning what I was going to say?_

"You stood still for an hour, Padawan mine. I'm proud of you. Now I know you can work well on a surveillance mission." Obi-Wan was walking beside him, not in front of him. But where this was unusual for other padawans and masters, and where Anakin worried about it with Yoda, this was simply his way of walking with Obi-Wan. "We have to sleep soon, but I think we should go sit in the Room of a Thousand Fountains for a bit. I'd enjoy the music of the water right now."

Anakin nodded and walked beside him. Then, to break the silence as much as because he'd just remembered, "Master Yoda gave me this to give to you." He passed Obi-Wan the datapad. "He says we have a mission tomorrow evening. And maybe it's supposed to be for two Jedi teams."

Obi-Wan held the datapad a little away from his mouth and said, "Kenobi alpha-one." Anakin saw the screen change and was doubly glad he hadn't tried to read the pad. He hadn't quite figured out how to break into a voice-activated system yet, or at least not how to do so without leaving traces. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was reading. At last, he keyed something into the pad and put it in his pocket. "Thank you, Anakin. And Master Yoda's right; it may be time for a mission that requires two Jedi teams." They had entered the Room of a Thousand Fountains and Obi-Wan guided Anakin to a hidden bench. Sitting down, the master folded his arms and gazed at Anakin. "What did you want to tell me, Padawan mine?"

Anakin shifted, then forced himself to hold still. "Um… Who will be on the shuttle in the morning?"

Obi-Wan chuckled and relaxed his arms, settling his hands in his lap. "If you ask what's really on your mind, then ask that question again later, maybe I'll answer it. For now, understand that you can tell me what's troubling you without anxiety."

His eyes were so sincere and his voice so mellow that Anakin blurted, "Have you forgiven me for running away on Peroa-Shi II?"

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "Oh, Anakin." Obi-Wan reached out through the Force and Anakin at once felt the man's surprise and sadness. _Anakin, of course I do. Everyone makes mistakes. And I shouldn't have-_

_Yes you should have, Master. I really didn't hear you when you called to me, but I know better than to ignore the Force, or forget to access it. Please forgive me, Master. I won't make that mistake again._

Obi-Wan took Anakin's hand and Anakin felt a spark jump between them Confused but unwilling to let anything distract him, he listened to his maser's words. _Padawan mine, perhaps I should have talked to you, but heaping accusations on you was so un-Jedi like I thought I was going to feel my padawan braid growing back._

Anakin smiled tentatively. Obi-Wan often said that when he did something that he felt was contrary to the Jedi Code, especially if it was against someone else.

His master continued, _And I have something else to bring up while we're here. Have you noticed how much I protect you on our missions?_

_Yes, Master. _Anakin blushed. _I mean, no, Master. It's all right-_

_No, it's not. And I like your first, honest, answer. I've been protecting you way too much. It's time I started treating you like the maturing padawan you are instead of the youngling you stopped being long before I even met you. You'll have more responsibility on our missions from now on. _He held up a cautioning hand. _Now this doesn't mean I'll be perfect and remember at all times that I'm giving you more room; my tendency for awhile will be to watch over you, and I'll have to redirect my energies. Can you forgive me the mistakes I'm going to make in the future?_

_Yes, Master. _Anakin squeezed Obi-Wan's hand, ignoring another spark. _Master, who are we going to meet tomorrow?_

_Do you really want to know, or do you want to be surprised?_

_I can guess, I think. You wouldn't keep it a secret if it wasn't who I think it is. Besides, Master Bant, Master Ryn-yn and Master Garen are all back at Temple. _He met Obi-Wan's gaze, looking for the barest flicker of an eyelash. _Is it Master Qui-Gon?_

Obi-Wan stood. _Come, young one; it's time for bed._

_Is it?_

_Yes, it's time for bed._

_No! Is it Master Qui-Gon?_

_But first we'll have to clean up our quarters._

Anakin groaned, but refused to give up. _Is it him? It is; I know it is._

_Then why do you ask?_

A pause of about ten seconds, then, _Will you tell me now?_

_No._

_Now?_

_Anakin…_

_Master Obi…_

It was Obi-Wan turn to groan. _Keep it up and I'll go into a meditation so deep you won't be able to reach me until morning._

Anakin grinned. _Not if I enter the meditation with you._

_You want to know that badly? _Obi-Wan chuckled. _Let's see how long your resolve lasts._

Three hours later, Obi-Wan emerged from his meditation. Anakin had started out with him, but after an hour had fallen asleep. To make sure his padawan was completely and totally under, Obi-Wan waited twice that long before turning his senses back to the outside world. Now, he rose and picked up Anakin, carrying the boy to bed. _Sleep, young one. _He sent forth waves of comfort and tranquility. Then, just before he left, he sent the answer to Anakin's question, knowing his padawan was too deeply asleep to hear it then. But a Jedi's mind should be trained, even in sleep, to accept communications from the one he shared a bond with. And so Obi-Wan hoped Anakin would wake up the next morning knowing for sure who he was going to meet. _And, if he's been practicing, he'll even know _how _he knows. _Smiling to himself, Obi-Wan went to his room.

He didn't go straight to bed, however. First, he cleaned the room, changed the sheets, remade the bed, and then set two or three bottles in a drawer by his bedside. To calm his mind, he meditated until he began to feel sleepy, then retreated to bed and slept until dawn. His dreams were vivid and achingly in-depth.


	18. Gettubg Reacqainted Two Masters

**PLEASE READ! Author's Note:**

Dear Faithful Readers,

It has come to my attention that I've been spending all of my time on fan fiction (in several universes) and have been neglecting my own novel. I must not lose my novel, and yet fan fiction holds a very special place in my heart. So I have decided on a compromise. Instead of trying to write four or five fan fictions and my novel, I am going to write one fan fiction at a time while working on my novel. I've decided to finish my longest-running fan fiction first (three years in the making and almost eight hundred pages) first, then return to _Targets of the Dark Force_. The long fiction (_Legolas's Gift_) has a finish-date of May 1st that I hope to keep, so I'll be back by mid-May or June. I beg your forgiveness, and ask only that you understand that I can't let my novel fall apart or disappear, or, worse yet, curl up on a shelf and hibernate.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Here is one more chapter, not quite as long as my others. Again, I ask for forgiveness.

With love and appreciation,

Estel Baggins/Martha Tersero

Getting Reacquainted: Two Masters

Anakin's first conscious thought was, _I was right! It _is_ Qui-Gon! _He was out of bed an instant later and scrabbling for his clothes. Giving his teeth and hair a few swipes each, he surveyed the result in his mirror. A little untidy, he decided, but presentable enough. It wasn't as if he was appearing before the Council. He started out of the room, but realized his feet were bare. Returning to his bed with a frustrated shake of his head, he crammed on shoes, not bothering with socks. Finally ready, he bounded out of his room and down the hall into the main living space. But once he stood at the end of the hallway, he gazed about in awe. Usually, the table was littered with his notes and schoolbooks. The floor under and around this long, low piece was furniture was nearly always the same. What was more, the couch cushions and books on the shelves along the wall were, more often than not, in disarray. There had been many a time when Obi-Wan would walk into their quarters, frown at Anakin, and leave. If Anakin didn't tidy at least half the room before his master returned, he would have to endure a lecture and a curtailing of his activities.

The medium-sized, comfortably-neutral room now stood not only tidy, but spotless. Anakin thought that if he ran his hand along the bookshelves, he'd come away with no dust on his fingers. As his eye traveled, he saw Obi-Wan standing in the doorway to the kitchen, facing away from him, his hands hidden in the long sleeves of the dress robe he'd worn when he'd helped to welcome Yoda back from a mission on the Wookie home world. For a moment, Anakin hesitated, wondering if he should change. But Obi-Wan spoke, his voice gently teasing, yet ringing with truth.

"Present yourself to him as your first instinct compelled you. He deserves your honesty." Turning, he chuckled. "There stands the padawan I've worked with for half a decade; there is the face I am glad to show another Jedi. Your true face." He crossed to Anakin and said, "Though I'd appreciate it if you'd carry your lightsaber. A Jedi rarely goes anywhere without that symbol of himself."

Anakin turned back toward his room, called his lightsaber to him, and shut his door behind it. No need for Qui-Gon to see _his _quarters, especially when everything else was so clean. Belatedly, he remembered that he should have helped his Master set everything in order the night before. "Master Obi, did you get any sleep, or were you up all night getting things ready?" He glanced at Obi-Wan and caught the frown on his Master's face. _Oh Sith. I should have gone to get my lightsaber by hand. _He looked down at his feet, then back up, hoping Obi-Wan would forgive him just this once. (Though, he had to admit to himself, 'just this once' was a pretty frequent occurrence.) He was relieved to see that his master's face had cleared.

Obi-Wan's smile was small. "I caught a few hours. No need to concern yourself, Padawan mine. I don't think we'll find this morning's mission too taxing. And I'll surely find time to rest before this afternoon."

Anakin clipped his lightsaber to his belt, counting himself lucky. "I don't know, Master. You might be awfully busy with Master Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan's smile broadened. "You're so sure it's him?"

His padawan nodded, then his eyes widened as he realized where his conviction came from. "You told me so, through the Force, as I slept."

"I did indeed." Obi-Wan's eyes said clearly he was pleased with Anakin's knowledge. He started for the door that would take them into the corridor. "We just have time before the ship arrives." As the door closed behind them, Obi-Wan said, "Well, since you know who we're meeting, I'd ask you to do me a favor."

"Anything, Master." Anakin bounced along, but then made himself walk instead. He could lose the privilege (for that was usually the form that Obi-Wan's 'favors' took) by seeming too childish.

"Will you greet Master Qui-Gon and his padawan when they disembark? I'll be standing near, as will others, but you are ready to deliver the words of welcome."

Anakin's eyes shone. A privilege, yes, and a responsibility. He smiled, thinking that, technically, he wasn't old enough to be welcoming a decorated Jedi Master, and that fact only made his smile broaden. Obi-Wan had rarely given him tasks that were above the station of a fifth-year padawan, and never in front of others, be they Jedi or civilians. This 'favor' was better than any other. "I will, Master Obi-" he paused, remembering his promise- "Wan."

Obi-Wan's tiny smile barely showed through the beard he'd grown shortly after Qui-Gon left. "Thank you." He seemed to retreat into his own thoughts then, and though Anakin wanted to keep talking, he wasn't sure what to talk about, so he kept his peace as well.

This was the thought that had crossed Obi-Wan's mind and drawn his attention: _Qui-Gon hasn't seen me with half my face hidden. _The smile had left his face. _And a Master he may be, used to things changing, but I hope he'll take this particular change well. _Then he laughed silently at himself. _He's Qui-Gon; he'll see the change, joke about it, and move on. I'm only looking for a distraction on which to place my anticipation at seeing him again._ He drew in a breath, then released himself into the Force, letting the Force fill the place where his thoughts had been. At once, he was calm. _Ah, but the Force is a new, precious gift every moment._

Side-by-side, they exited the lift a minute later, and strode across the intervening distance to where a padawan was monitoring the arrival of a sleek, grey ship. Others were gathered on the platform. Yoda stood beside Bant, and on Bant's other side, a step behind, stood Nela. Obi-Wan stepped up on Yoda's other side, inclining his head. "Masters. Padawan." His hands found each other as he folded his hands in front of him. Once again, the strong, youthful hands were covered by the sleeves of the dress robe.

_Is that Master Qui-Gon's ship?_ Anakin wondered.

_Reach out to the Force, Padawan mine, _Obi-Wan returned. _What does it tell you?_

Anakin considered, reaching out, asking the Force the same question. And the answer came back: _Two Jedi on that ship. _Frowning, he tried again, seeking Qui-Gon, but he wasn't exactly sure how to reach out for a specific person besides his master.

Obi-Wan sensed his difficulty, as he always seemed to. _What did you learn?_

_There are two Jedi on the ship._

_Are you sure they aren't just Force-sensitives?_

Anakin didn't have to question his perceptions for an instant; the Force's message had been clear. _The Force says they are two Jedi. But how can I know if it's Master Qui-Gon?_

_The more often you practice distinguishing different Force-signatures, the more readily you will be able to answer that question for yourself. This is one time only practice and experimentation will help you. I cannot guide you in a process that is different for each Jedi. Some can know names instantly through the Force, and some can tell Knights from padawans, and still others can distinguish the amount of Force concentrated in a being with absolute precision. Master Mace is one of those._

_Which are you?_

_The second, I'd say, though occasionally I will receive a name from the Force if I know a person well._

The ship was landing, graceful as a bird settling into its nest. _I'll keep working on it, Master._

_I know you will, Anakin. _Obi-Wan's tone was unmistakably affectionate.

The engines were cut and, a moment later, the ramp was lowered. Obi-Wan used a slight nudge in the Force to remind Anakin to move forward. By doing so, Anakin was announcing that he'd been chosen to make the greeting. In a message bi-Wan had received two nights ago, Yoda had given him the privilege of welcoming Qui-Gon; now it would be apparent to all that Obi-Wan had passed along that privilege.

When the ramp had come to rest, there was a moment of anticipation. Then Qui-Gon stepped out of the shadows and began his slow walk towards the group on the platform. His padawan, tall and slim, came a step behind him.

Anakin took another step forward and when Qui-Gon and Ferus stood before him, he bowed. "Welcome back, Master Qui-Gon, Padawan Ferus, to your home. Welcome to your place of renewal and peace."

Qui-Gon returned the bow, and his padawan copied him. "We're home indeed. Thank you." His blue eyes were brimming with a mix of emotions Anakin guessed had to be partial gladness and respect, but more than a little mirth mixed in. That was Qui-Gon's way; sober when he needed to be, but not straight-laced by nature.

Stepping back, Anakin concluded the formal greeting. Unable to take his eyes off Qui-Gon, but curious to know Obi-Wan's thoughts about his performance, he sent a wave of question to his master, and felt Obi-Wan's warm _Well done._

Yoda approached Qui-Gon and the younger master went down on one knee so they could embrace. "Glad to see you safely home I am. Look well you do, not a day older than when you left."

Qui-Gon laughed. "The Force chose to maintain me at this age for a time, though any hope I had of losing my wrinkles left me long ago." He stood when Yoda released him, then smiled at Bant. "Mastery seems to sit well on your shoulders."

She bowed her head slightly, but didn't bother to hide her smile. "Welcome back, Master Qui-Gon." She gestured. "This is my padawan, Nela."

Qui-Gon nodded to the girl as she bowed. "You have a fine master, Padawan."

She nodded. "I know, Master."

Bant turned away. "Come. We've taken enough of Master Qui-Gon's time." She caught Obi-Wan's eye and winked. "And Master Obi-Wan's, I'd guess," she added softly.

Obi-Wan smiled at her, but then turned his eyes back to Qui-Gon.

"Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon stepped close and the two embraced, though with no heat. They couldn't afford that here. "I've missed you."

Obi-Wan couldn't speak until he had swallowed and called on the Force. "It's been too long." Then he stepped back, gesturing for Anakin to come stand with them. Qui-Gon likewise nodded to his padawan. "Your quarters are just as you left them."

"Thank you." Qui-Gon turned to Anakin and smiled. "You're looking well, Padawan. Jedi life seems to agree with you."

Anakin nodded, his mind bursting with a thousand words. "Thank you, Master." Then he turned to Ferus. He hid his characteristic new-person wariness. "I don't know about you, but I haven't had breakfast. Do you want to eat with me?"

Ferus at once focused his dark eyes on Qui-Gon.

"It's all right, Ferus. Enjoy yourself. I'll come find you when it's time to prepare for this evening's mission." Then, after a glance at Obi-Wan, "Feel free to return to our quarters with Anakin once you've finished eating."

Anakin started off at once, but Obi-Wan called silently to him, _Be mindful of your thoughts, Padawan mine. _Then he sent a smile. _And thank you for your discretion. You give me new reasons to be grateful every day that you're my padawan._

Anakin sent back, _I'll be all right, Master Obi. Nothing will even tempt me to anger today._

Obi-Wan didn't respond to that. _Be well. We'll probably regroup after lunch. Feel free to spar with Ferus and learn his abilities. The four of us will be working together very soon._

_Yes, Master. _All this was sent while he was leading Ferus off the platform and into the building.

Yoda cleared his throat and the two masters turned towards him. "A little time you have. Use it well you should." His eyes twinkled. "Intense joy I sense in your near future." Chuckling to himself, he made his way across the platform away from them.

Obi-Wan's cheeks were slightly pink. _Did Master Yoda just tell us to-?_

_Enjoy ourselves in every way possible? _Qui-Gon's arm had come around Obi-Wan's shoulders and he leaned close to the shorter man's ear so he could breathe in the scent he'd dreamed of almost every night since they'd been separated. _Yes he did._

oOo

They sat across the table from each other, plates of food in front of them. They were eating, though slowly, and every moment or so, they would pause to study one another. An uneasy silence had settled on them even as they left the landing platform and now breaking that silence seemed almost impossible.

And even if the impossible was rapidly becoming Anakin's middle name in many situations, he couldn't quite manage a little conversation. Talking to someone he didn't know, someone he was connected to through a mutual friend, was Obi-Wan's strength. Obi-Wan could always find something to say. More importantly, he knew when to be at peace with silence. Anakin's talents hadn't grown in that direction. In any negotiation, he found his mind continually turning to the alternative: aggressive negotiations. The things worked through to the sing of a lightsaber were much easier for Anakin to get inside. And once inside something, he could figure it out. But all the posturing and half-truths of most negotiations left him ill at ease and restless. Not that his Master ever spoke anything except the truth, but that didn't stop other parties from dancing about with lies and deceit.

The younger padawan felt his frustration building. Why did _he _have to be the one to say something? Why couldn't Ferus, who was obviously a few years older than he was, speak instead? Every pleasantry he spoke seemed like an abasement, every enquiry an attack on his integrity. And why was Ferus just sitting there, sometimes eating, but mostly just staring at him and looking uneasy? Did he think Anakin was too young for him to have to deal with? "What are you staring at?"

Ferus set down the roll he'd been toying with. "Your clothes," he answered, and his candor shocked Anakin.

"What's wrong with my clothes? They're standard Jedi robes." Anakin's hand dropped below the table, not quite resting on his lightsaber.

"They look like they haven't been washed in weeks." Ferus wrinkled his nose. "When I found out I was going to meet my master's former padawan, a man my master has always spoken highly of, I wanted to make my master look well by dressing appropriately. Didn't you even notice that your master was in dress robes? Master Qui-Gon and I didn't have any dress robes, but we cleaned up, at least."

Anakin flushed. "Master Obi-Wan told me to dress however my first instinct told me so that I wasn't putting on false airs for someone whom I've always respected."

"So you're saying your master was putting on these airs?"

Anakin's hand tightened around his lightsaber and he built up his mental shields as quickly as possible. Whatever was going to happen in the next few moments, he didn't want Obi-Wan to feel it. Let his master have a few peaceful moments with Qui-Gon; both masters had earned the time. "It's my master's way to dress well at all times. His first instinct was to dress in formal robes for Qui-Gon, so he did. Just because my instinct is different from his doesn't make one better than the other." Those last words helped slightly and Anakin tried to exhale his fury. But that technique was one he was still learning, and so it wasn't entirely successful.

_Walk away. _The words were so clear in Anakin's mind that at first he thought Obi-Wan had felt his anger. _When you can't agree, and there is room, walk away. Seek the Force in peace, with singleness of mind. _It was only Obi-Wan's remembered voice, from one of their quiet afternoons spent working to dispel anger. Anakin stood, realizing that he was finally able to do what Obi-Wan had promised him one day he would: counsel himself out of his rage. And even though the rage wasn't going quickly, at least Anakin now had a way to escape the source of that rage. "I'm going to take a walk. Don't follow me." He turned on his heel and strode away.

He was tempted to head for his quarters, but then he remembered Qui-Gon's words. The two masters were surely there, probably in Obi-Wan's bed. Anakin's stomach gave a funny twisting flip and he remembered again the spark he'd felt between his hand and Obi-Wan's.

The anger wanted to intensify, and so instead of seeking a meditation room, Anakin sought his droids. Alone with them, he would find peace. Alone with them he would forget his anger. Not dispel it, but forget it so that it would slip below the surface of his mind.

oOo

Qui-Gon couldn't quite bring himself to pull away from Obi-Wan so they could walk. So as they strode down the hallway in perfect step, he allowed his fingertips to brush against the sleeve of Obi-Wan's robe. The material blocked the real contact he wanted, but that would be remedied soon. For now, just to see Obi-Wan's occasional glance, to see the golden-red hair cut in a bottom-curled style that suited his former padawan much more than the short-clipped look, was enough.

Except it wasn't. He needed to hear Obi-Wan speak. To open their lovers' bond now might draw attention to them, but he could at least hear his beloved's voice. "How are you and Anakin getting along?"

Obi-Wan's smile was rueful. "He's much different than I was as a padawan. But our differences give us balance." A pause as he inclined his head slightly. "In so many ways, he reminds me of you. Only in his discomfort with living mounts do the two of you differ significantly. And, of course, he has no grey hair just yet."

"Is that so?"

Ignoring the teasing tone in Qui-Gon's voice, Obi-Wan said, "I find myself on the receiving end of many of the arguments you used with me, except that now, of course, I am able to see both sides and we can almost always find a compromise."

"Are you saying I never compromised?"

Obi-Wan blinked, briefly veiling his dancing eyes. "Not at all, Master Qui-Gon. I am saying that I lacked the ability to take certain steps of faith in the past."

"And that's different now?" His tone was light.

"Anakin and I have taught each other much." Obi-Wan shook his sleeve back for a moment, long enough to intertwine his fingers with Qui-Gon's for the briefest instant. "You've missed much. I hope your own growth with Ferus has been as much of a learning experience."

Qui-Gon snorted. "I might suspect a rebuke, or an un-Jedi-like touch of arrogance, if I didn't know you better."

"Reach out to the Living Force and tell me what you feel." The sleeve was back over Obi-Wan's hand and he briefly clasped his hands before him before relaxing them so he could continue his stroll.

Qui-Gon reached, and the immediate area around him sung with the brilliance of the Light Force that swirled about Obi-Wan, cloaking him so effectively that he might have been hidden, if his characteristic patience and quietness of spirit didn't hum throughout the Force that touched him. "Not so arrogant, then." He smiled. "But I'd prefer for us to talk about our padawans after we've spoken of other things."

"Ask and you shall receive, Master. Though may I remind you that you are the one who brought them up?" Obi-Wan stopped before a door. "Here we are. Feel free to make yourself at home." He waited for Qui-Gon to precede him.

Inside, Qui-Gon set his survival pack in one corner and shrugged out of his robe, draping it unceremoniously over the couch. "I've already made an untidy mess of your neatly-arranged quarters, Obi mine. Will you tell me now to stop making myself at home?" He turned, expecting Obi-Wan to be by the door. But he found the younger man sitting on the couch, his eyes closed, Qui-Gon's cloak half wrapped around his slight frame. Qui-Gon crossed to him.

Without opening his eyes, Obi-Wan drew him down onto the couch. "Please, Qui-Gon," he whispered, and only then did Qui-Gon reach out of with his mind and find the half-finished bond waiting for him. At once, he connected, binding them together stronger than they had been before the separation.

The first flood of emotions made Qui-Gon close his own eyes, and his hand tightened on Obi-Wan's own, seeking an anchor in the current. Obi-Wan spoke to him of _being watched _and _missed you_ and _love you _and _my padawan_. Qui-Gon wasn't sure what to make of the first or the last, but he understood those in the middle and hugged Obi-Wan against him, thinking to send waves of comfort.

But Obi-Wan stilled him, sending, _Let me read, first. _Then his thoughts were turned inward for long moments. When he reemerged, he said, "He's a challenge to you. Different than either Xanatos or me, and a complex weave of discipline and self-doubt."

"Obi-Wan, I wanted-"

"For now, more important our padawans are." Obi-Wan smiled at the inadvertent imitation of Yoda. "Give me just another moment." He composed himself, incorporating all the new knowledge with the old. Then his eyes opened. "For now, we can set all that aside. We have time, as we rarely do."

Qui-Gon's eyes stung suddenly and he wasn't quite quick enough to stop one tear from escaping. "You've grown up, Obi mine. You're a Master in truth now." He drew Obi-Wan's head to his chest, cradling it there. "Will we also speak later of your concerns for Anakin and the other things you haven't shared with even Yoda?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I promise." He kissed Qui-Gon, his tongue darting out to taste skin that he'd dreamed of many times. His eyes stayed open, drinking in the sight of his lover, and his heart beat faster, no matter his Jedi training. He simply lacked the desire to slow it. As his pants grew uncomfortably, wonderfully tight, he moaned and sealed his lips over Qui-Gon's. Their bodies hummed together, physically as well as in the Force, then Obi-Wan pulled away. There was a decidedly evil curve to his lips. "Where shall we go, love? I'm tempted to just see everything here, but-"

Growling far back in his throat, Qui-Gon stood. "Obi-Wan, you're going to be the death of me." He led Obi-Wan into the bedroom, having felt the Force-echo of the younger man strong behind that first door _How like Obi-Wan to station himself at the first door, a blockade to any who attempt to reach Anakin without his permission._

Obi-Wan bit Qui-Gon's ear as the door closed, almost hard enough to draw blood, and the older master cast his pragmatic musings over his shoulder.

But, seemingly, his mind could not stop bouncing about like an over-excited youngling. As Obi-Wan turned back to lock the door, Qui-Gon studied the room. The stark beauty of nearly-bear walls (one painting hung on the wall opposite the door) took his breath away. _How like my Obi-Wan this all is! _Nothing else lived in the room except a bed (covered by a standard Jedi blanket), a bedside table (also standard-issue) and a closet with doors closed. _And yet, for all your accomplishments in the Force, you are still the same Obi-Wan I left. _Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan to the bed, sitting down and urging Obi-Wan to do the same.

But Obi-Wan had other ideas. When Qui-Gon pulled him towards the bed, he dropped to his knees before the older man, his eyes hooded and his lips parted. With one hand, he touched Qui-Gon, and with the other, he took a bottle from the drawer in the bedside table.

Qui-Gon's eyes widened when he realized the bottle's contents. "I take it back. Who are you, and what have you done with my innocent Obi?"

oOo

A little later, when the sun was at half-zenith, Obi-Wan brought the tea out to Qui-Gon and the two of them relaxed against the back of the couch.

Qui-Gon took a sip, studying Obi-Wan. "I like your hair that way, padawan mine. It suits you." He reached up and trailed his fingers through Obi-Wan's short beard. "This is a nice addition, I think. You don't look so young with this. Is that why you grew it?"

Obi-Wan chuckled and kissed Qui-Gon's wandering digits. "Something like that. But really only because I thought it would go with the hair." He savored the tea's delicate flavor. It had been too long since he'd drunk tea brewed by his lover. "And now I don't look quite so close to Anakin's age. Works out nicely." Finishing the tea, surprised at how quickly it had disappeared, Obi-Wan cradled the empty, still-warm cup. "Someday I'll learn all your cooking secrets, then maybe my own cooking won't be so bad."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "Your cooking was never bad, Obi-Wan, even when you were a nine year old padawan."

The younger Master shrugged. "Well, maybe, but my cooking can't hold a torch to yours."

"Somehow I doubt that. Knowing you as I do, Obi mine, you're twice the cook I am." Qui-Gon set his half-full cup on the table and Obi-Wan did the same, quite willing to forsake the warmth of the cup for the warmth of Qui-Gon's hands. "This is inadequate, but it's the best I can do to show you how lonely I've been." He kissed Obi-Wan softly, knowing they didn't have time for the heated kisses that would only lead to a fervent, carnal embrace. As he'd said before, they rarely had time. Qui-Gon knew he could almost count the times he'd slept with Obi-Wan on both hands.

"I've missed you, Obi mine," Qui-Gon resumed when the kiss ended. "I've missed you like a man working in the hot sun misses the shade of his house. If I wasn't a Jedi, being without you would have become impossible. Only the Force sustained me, kept me from grief-spawned madness, some days." He sighed and drew Obi-Wan closer to that the young man turned sideways on the couch and rested with his head on his lover's leg.

"I didn't realize it at first," Qui-Gon went on. "I thought I would come to terms with being separated from you. There were always so many things to do, so many missions keeping me moving, thinking, working. But the loss of you- even if it wasn't intended to be a permanent loss- haunted my dreams at night and, if I wasn't mindful, my waking thoughts. When I sought meditation, yours was the first face that leapt to my mind's eye, no matter what had happened that day. When Ferus caught a staggeringly-strong flu, and I meditated at his side, I had to first break through the memories of you that wanted to distract me. But seeing you in my mind would have only blocked my path to the serenity I needed."

He was stroking Obi-Wan's hair, his fingers learning the new feel, even as his body adjusted to the new weight of his former padawan. Not any taller than the day Qui-Gon had left, and no broader, Obi-Wan had gained a solid sheath of muscle that had only been forming when he was twenty. "And now that I have you back again, in sight again, I find that I should have listened to the Force, which told me, over and over, that you were well, and that I should just let the memories come. Maybe if I had let everything play in my mind, I would have been less distracted by it all. But there wasn't time. We moved, place to place, no real rest, no real spiritual purging or release."

He sighed. "And that's not only because we were needed. Anyone could have taken our missions. But I wanted Ferus to catch up to other padawans. He's one of the first of the new rules, did you know that? Shortly after you became Ahleh's padawan, the Council decided the cut-off age for someone becoming a padawan should be thirteen instead of seven. Twenty years later, most padawans still become thus before nine because old traditions die hard."

Obi-Wan thought of the younglings in the playroom and said, "The tradition may give up eventually. The younglings I worked with just yesterday are confident and strong in the Force, but I can see where each would benefit from another three to five years of working in a collective group." He settled more firmly against Qui-Gon. "That feels good," he said as Qui-Gon continued to play with his hair. "I always liked it when you touched my braid." He laughed then, quietly. "I'm not so different from an auburn-haired nekatrix."

Qui-Gon's rumbling laugh shook Obi-Wan slightly. "No, not so different." He shifted a little so he could lay on kiss on Obi-Wan's forehead. "Though I wouldn't be so willing to kiss a nekatrix unless it had a bath first."

"Huh-m. Your loss, Master mine. Yours and Anakin's, though I don't count him for lost in the area of working with living mounts just yet. And even if you would never kiss one, you rode one like a down of fluff, last time I remember. Why not kiss the beast that bore you?"

"Are you saying you've kissed one?"

"Freely. Anakin and I were on Bolin II, chasing a report that Bant and her padawan had gone missing." His eyes closed, then cleared. "It proved to be a trap, but luckily one where Bant and Nela weren't involved. They were halfway across the galaxy, on a diplomatic mission to Alderran, and perfectly safe. So only Anakin and I were being threatened." He sighed. "Not that I wasn't concerned, but it's always easier to worry about two rather than four.

"In any case, when Anakin and I arrived, we were hunted from the moment we left the shuttle until we caught the up-front stalkers. The real mastermind of the operation was nowhere to be seen." He fidgeted, opened his mouth to say something, subsided. Later. That could, _must_, come later, loath as he was to talk about his groundless assumption. "They weren't Force-sensitives, like the ones we encountered on Peroa-Shi II, but there the important differences between the missions end. Both times, we were lured into an ambush. And both times, I had the distinct feeling that the Dark Force was waiting specifically for us." He made a move to sit up, but Qui-Gon stilled him with a light touch to his shoulder. "And, of course, both times, there was a greater intelligence behind the attack. Not necessarily the Dark Force acting without a conduit, but the conduit, the _person_, was hidden."

He swallowed and sat up so he could see his lover's expression. "I'm going to tell you who this all reminds me of, and you're going to tell me I'm foolish and I should know better than to suggest any such thing."

Qui-Gon didn't speak; any words he might say wouldn't be heard. He had to prove his willingness to listen, not talk about listening and believing.

Obi-Wan had squared his shoulders. "Qui-Gon, all of this feels like a plot engineered by Xanatos." The younger man began ticking facts off on his fingers, a habit he'd picked up from Master Ryn-yn, a habit he only used when he was among Jedi. "The way that the mastermind hides behind others. The way we can never find him, no matter how carefully we block all ways off-planet. The duplicity of plans. For example, on Peroa-Shi, Force-sensitves were being murdered. But the only Force-sensitives that seemed to disappear were those who had a tie to the Temple, no matter how tenuous. Each had either left the Order, hadn't become padawans, or whose parents had been petitioned to give their child up and had refused. Force-sensitives had to be gotten rid of. But revenge against the Temple, or at the very least an attempt to soil its reputation, seems also to have been a goal. Otherwise, the connection makes no sense in and of itself, unless you believe in coincidence. And as we both know-"

"There are no coincidences in the Force." Qui-Gon's frown was deep. Not necessarily disbelieving, but skeptical, as a good Jedi should be. "Go on."

"The connection to the Temple struck me as odd, but the weapons of the attackers, those that were recovered, gave further credence to the idea that someone wanted to discredit the Temple. All the weapons were vintage, outdated. And when I ran the material analysis and cross-checked them against Temple records, I found that all had been "lost" when Xanatos raided the Temple, back when I was fourteen. The Jedi don't use blasters, except as practice for padawans and younglings, but the blasters that were stolen were deadly even though they'd never been used in real battle."

"Forgive me, Obi-Wan, but it seems as if you were expecting to find a connection. Why else would you run the checks that way?"

"I did expect it," Obi-Wan answered. "I've been having feelings, nudges, which don't necessarily come from the Force, but are nonetheless insistant and present. They defy every attempt to dispel them or credit them in the Force." He dropped his eyes for a moment, then gathered himself and looked at Qui-Gon again. "It's past time I reported these feelings to the Council, actually, but I wasn't sure how to explain them at first, and then I kept telling myself it was paranoia brought on by intense longing for you." He smiled nervously, a little unsure of the reaction his confession would gain. "I should have known better."

Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan's hand where it rested on the cushion between them. "We all make mistakes, Obi mine." He smiled at the blatant surprise in Obi-Wan's eyes. "You're not the only one who's grown up." The smile fell away. "Do you sense it now, this feeling that you're speaking of?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and centered himself, reaching out both to the Force and to that other thing that wasn't Dark or Light. _But everything is made of one or the other, _he thought, frustrated.

_Yes, but whatever you're feeling has surely cloaked itself, _Qui-Gon sent._ Concentrate. Is it here?_

Again, Obi-Wan gave himself over to reaching. The Force sang inside him first, speaking of the peace of the Temple and so many dedicated minds seeking knowledge. Then Obi-Wan was outside that (even though there logically _couldn't_ be anything outside the Force) and sought in the emptiness that wasn't darkness or light. For a moment, he knew only that empty space. Then he felt the thing, whatever it was, watching him, marking him, and he retreated.

Opening his eyes, he saw by Qui-Gon's face that his lover knew the answer. Still, Qui-Gon asked, "Is it here?"

"Yes." Obi-Wan was too well-trained to shiver, but he closed his eyes for a moment to sink fully into the Light Force before he would say more. When he was sure of whom he was, where he was, and What dwelt within and around him, he fixed Qui-Gon with a calmly questioning gaze. "Should I go to the Council before we leave tonight?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes." But he didn't stand. Both of his hands had found Obi-Wan's shoulders. "But first, hear me. Just because I don't feel anything doesn't mean it isn't here. You're a Master now, in your own right. And even if the Council doesn't feel it, or can only sense it as far as you can, doesn't mean it's not a threat. Tell me what you can about it, and how it led you to thoughts of Xanatos."

Obi-Wan gaped at him for a moment, then he shook his head and smiled. "You trust me. You completely trust me."

"As I should have before," Qui-Gon returned, squeezing Obi-Wan's shoulders before taking the younger man's hands in his own. "Tell me everything, Obi mine."

"Shortly after you left, half a year at the most, the feeling I've described began to follow me. My first thought was the Dark Force, and so I sought the answer through meditation and reading the ancient tomes of the Jedi Order, looking for a similar occurrence. I found sixteen similar, though not identical, cases, and I'll let you read those later, if you want. When meditation turned up nothing in the way of a confirmed connection to the Dark Force, and didn't dispel the feeling either, I tried to track its connection to Anakin, doubting that it came from him, but-" he blushed- "cautious nonetheless. And if it wasn't from, I wanted to make sure it didn't prey on him."

Taking one of his hands from Qui-Gon's gentle grasp, Obi-Wan wiped his face, unable to hide his anguish. "He's been struggling with anger, and with frustration. I thought it was a resurgence of his fierce intensity and stubbornness that we saw on Tatooine and Naboo: his survival instinct, in other words. And, working with that premise, I began to help him channel his aggressive behavior."

His near-invisible smile was rueful. "Meditation and Anakin don't mix, and so I focused his mind in the repetitive moves of the katas. Those times, when we were both working and talking, mind to mind, were almost the closest he came to meditation. Also, of course, we spend long hours together in lightsaber training because those movements also strengthen the connection to the Force. Flying practice also helped, though I don't think I'll ever truly enjoy it."

His smile reappeared, then fell away. "He's been in twelve fights since you left, none of them with lightsabers, but two of them bad enough to bring both he and the padawan he fought in front of the Council. Even when he isn't fighting, he snaps at Masters, Knights, and Padawans alike. But some things work with him. When we're on a mission, he devotes himself exclusively to the task at hand and forgets his anger. Even though he's still impetuous, his heart is free, clean. And occasionally he can be persuaded to sit still and focus on a single task for hours. Painting, for example." Obi-Wan stood and took a painting off the drying rack that Qui-Gon had glanced at earlier with mild curiosity. "This is the picture Anakin painted today. As he painted, I could feel his connection to the Force deepening. The room hummed with it before he was done."

Qui-Gon held the painting, gazing at it in wonder. "This looks just like you, Obi-Wan. This was done by not only a dutiful hand, but a loving one." He smiled over the painting at his lover. "Whatever you've doing to help him, it's obviously working, even if you can't see all the improvement at once. After all, Obi mine, how many times did I tell you about the Living Force before you actually saw the lack in yourself and reached out?" His smile was rueful. "And how many times did Master Yoda tell me of my own lack in the Unifying Force before I finally consented to listen?"

Obi-Wan took the painting back; some of the tension in his mind, never quite on the surface, certainly not strong enough to show in his body, eased. He returned the picture to its place on the drying rack, hoping he would get a chance to hang it later. "You're almost surely right," he said when he was sitting beside Qui-Gon once more. He took in a breath. "Now, back to how that all connects to Xanatos and to the feeling.

"I was concerned that the feeling was connected to Anakin in some way, and so I sought in the Force the answer. But the Light Force told me, over and over, as I was stubborn, that Anakin wasn't connected to the feeling in any way whatsoever, either as its origin or its target. That was such a relief that for a while I ignored the feeling because I reasoned that if it wasn't affecting my padawan and wasn't hurting me.

"Between the formulae for the ambushes- there have been four, though I can't prove any of them were aimed specifically at Anakin and I. All were directed towards the Jedi." He rubbed at his face, realizing his statement hadn't made much sense. "Between how the traps were laid out and the feeling- it's like-" He stopped. "Forgive me. I seem unable to connect one thought to the next." He winced slightly and rubbed at one temple. Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled all of his disorientation. His eyes, when they found Qui-Gon, were clear. Qui-Gonwas watching him without a hint of judgment, but Obi-Wan didn't register the man's expreesion; he was dwelling almost fully in the Force. "Let's try it this way: the big picture, then the small.

"As you've heard me say before, I am a target for the Dark Force. I don't know if Anakin is one as well, but I would guess that he is. And maybe you are; I'm only speaking to what's happened here." It felt better to have that off his chest. Pausing, he again sought in the Force for the next truth to be spoken, and found it. "To be followed by this feeling is to be watched by someone who wants to rape me." Again, the searching. "The feeling has strengthened in the last seven months, since Anakin and I went out on a string of thirteen missions, without returning to Temple between. But when we first reached Temple, it left, and I thought maybe it couldn't survive among the Jedi. I put it out of my mind and concentrated fully on working with Anakin to find the center of his anger and dispel it. Then, a week ago, it returned, stalking me as it has ever done, like a malia that refuses to give up, because it knows, however hard I am to catch, I'll taste very good."

Qui-Gon gripped the hand that remained between his own. "Listen to what you just said. 'stalking me as it always has'; that's what you said. But you just got through telling me that you've only felt followed since after I left. That was five years ago."

Obi-Wan blinked slowly, then his eyes lit from within. _Is it true? _he mouthed, and the hand he reached to the Force trembled slightly with the realization of discovery. A moment later and he had his answer. "Yes," he said. "Yes, it's been following me for as long as I can remember. Even before Count Dooku. I only became aware of it after you left, when I was in tune with the Force enough to follow it. It's that feeling-" he paused, reached, refocused- "yes, that feeling which drew all three molesters to me, and urged me to submit to ber'Nac." His eyes had regained the intensity Qui-Gon remembered from Obi-Wan's padawan days. "I _am _marked. And this mark may not always be visible to most beings, but it is visible to those who live in the heart of the Dark Force. And the Dark Force itself knows." He put his head in the palm of his hand and stared at nothing. "I'm a threat to the Dark Force, or something I'm going to do is." Then, after a moment, he shook his head. "No, something the Light Force is going to do _through me_ is a threat to the Dark Force. A terrible threat, one the Dark Force can't anticipate or control." He sat back and looked at Qui-Gon. "Now I _must _speak to Master Yoda and the Council." He read his lover's expression expertly. "Can I ask you for advice first, though?"

Qui-Gon's eyes were dark, narrowed. "I can feel the agreement of the Force. You _are_ a target, if I'm reading the Force right. But Obi-Wan, what about Xanatos? He's dead. He can't be behind these ambushes, unless it is only the spirit of his habits that has persisted. You and I both saw him die."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I know. But I can't shake the feeling- unconfirmed though it may be- that Xanatos is behind this. Maybe, as you say, it's only his style I sense. But I think it's more." He swallowed. "And he might have been- probably was- behind the attack on Fregala, the one that almost killed me." He frowned. "I don't like the arrogant, the-universe-is-out-to-get-me tone my words are taking, even in my own ears, but that doesn't change their truth." Then he took Obi-Wan's hands in his. "Please tell me what you're thinking. I can see the anxiety on your face."

"I'm worried about you, Obi mine, but, more than that, I'm worried you might be right." He closed his eyes, and reached out through their bond. _The sadness I felt after Xanatos fell didn't haunt me as he wanted it to, as he hoped it would when he dove into the toxic pool- _an image of Xanatos stepping into the steaming, black ooze that could strip the bark from a stick in less than a second, flashed between them- _but I don't look forward to facing him. And, just like there are no coincidences in the Force, there are no impossibilities. The fear that darkens my view now is that you're right and that Xanatos may come again. _He drew in a breath and they both felt him release the fear. _It will come back unless I am quiet for a while. May I beg a little time before we go speak with the Council? It will do us both good to search the Force one more time before we proceed._

Obi-Wan nodded. _Agreed. _He stood and guided QuiGon to the center of the room.

Just before they went under, Qui-Gon sent, _You know, Obi mine, you didn't tell me how you ended up kissing a nekatrix._

Obi-Wan chuckled, a flash of humor igniting in his eyes, dispelling the shadows for the moment. _We don't have time for the whole story now, but suffice it to say, I was not only grateful to Nekala, but I had to prove to a passing enemy that I was nothing but a crooning farmer praising his beast. I had seen many other farmers kissing their mounts, and so I simply imitated them. But, I maintain, I also did it because she had already saved my life six or seven times. And when I kissed her, she responded, not as if we were new acquaintances, but as a long-time friend, by putting her head on my shoulder and kissing me back. She saved my life again doing that. Of that I'm sure._

Qui-Gon chuckled, but didn't reply.

They gave themselves over to meditation, after setting the clock in one corner to bring them back to the physical world.

oOo

Two hours later, calm and ready, Obi-Wan called to Anakin through their bond, reaching throughout the Temple. _Anakin? Padawan mine, can you hear me? _He had a communicator, but talking this way increased Anakin's reliance on the Force.

After a moment, _Master?_

Obi-Wan strengthened their bond, moving closer to Anakin. _Padawan mine, what troubles you?_

_It's nothing serious, Master. _Then, _Do you need me?_

_Yes. I need you to return to our quarters, make sure your clothing is straight, then join Qui-Gon and me at the Council Chamber. But before you go anywhere, tell me what's wrong._

The boy sighed. _Ferus. I don't like him. He's arrogant. He said bad things about you. And about me._

Obi-Wan could see the boy's scowl over their bond. _Why should you listen to what he says if you know it's not true?_

Anakin hesitated, waded through the different facets of that question, and said, _I should listen to him to know what he believes and what sort of person he is. But I shouldn't take anything he says to heart. _He sensed Obi-Wan's nod of approval. _I'll try, Master. But if we're going to be working with Ferus, shouldn't he have a higher opinion of us?_

_He'll gain it, _Obi-Wan answered, thinking of Siri, who had again and again discounted him as an unworthy padawan. _Qui-Gon will surely sense his padawan's discomfort with us and he will take steps to help him work through it. Have faith in the will of the Force, Anakin; it's will brings the Jedi together._

_Yes, Master. I'll be there soon._

_May I assume Ferus isn't with you?_

A slight hesitation, then, _Yes, Master. We went separate ways after breakfast._

_All right, then. I'm sure Qui-Gon will-_

_How are you and Master Qui-Gon?_

Obi-Wan blushed at the bluntness of his padawan's question, and all the meaning that came with it. _We're just fine. We've both changed a great deal, or so it seems, but our bond has been reformed and made stronger._

_I'm glad. _

Obi-Wan sensed something else besides joy in Anakin's answer, but then the boy said, _I'll be there soon, _and retreated back into his own mind.

_That was certainly strange, _Obi-Wan thought. _What is he not telling me? _In Obi-Wan's experience, if Anakin didn't want to tell something just then, he would do so eventually and usually sooner rather than later. It was his padawan's tendency to be honest. Obi-Wan would trust him to continue on that path.

O---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------O

Just in case you didn't see the note up top, because I want to make sure you are warned:

**PLEASE READ! Author's Note:**

Dear Faithful Readers,

It has come to my attention that I've been spending all of my time on fan fiction (in several universes) and have been neglecting my own novel. I must not lose my novel, and yet fan fiction holds a very special place in my heart. So I have decided on a compromise. Instead of trying to write four or five fan fictions and my novel, I am going to write one fan fiction at a time while working on my novel. I've decided to finish my longest-running fan fiction first (three years in the making and almost eight hundred pages) first, then return to _Targets of the Dark Force_. The long fiction (_Legolas's Gift_) has a finish-date of May 1st that I hope to keep, so I'll be back by mid-May or June. I beg your forgiveness, and ask only that you understand that I can't let my novel fall apart or disappear, or, worse yet, curl up on a shelf and hibernate.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Here is one more chapter, not quite as long as my others. Again, I ask for forgiveness.

With love and appreciation,

Estel Baggins/Martha Tersero


	19. Mission For Six

**Dear patient readers:** I have at last completed my _Lord of the Rings_ fic, which claimed almost three years of my life. From now on, I will submit a chapter at least once a month (probably more like every two-three weeks) and those chapters will be a full twenty pages instead of this shorter one (sixteen). Please accept my humblest apologies, but _Targets of the Dark Force_ now only has my novel to compete with, instead of two other stories, so updates will never be so long-delayed again.

With all due pleas for forgiveness,

Estel Baggins

Mission for Six

Anakin arrived at the Council Chamber only ten minutes after receiving Obi-Wan's summons. He had changed into a set of robes he was sure _hadn't _been worn since they'd been washed, and had done a more thorough job on his hair. Still, when he arrived, he was galled to see that Ferus, looking impeccable, had arrived ahead of him.

"Master Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are already inside," Ferus said. "We were supposed to wait until we both arrived." His frown said plainly he hadn't liked waiting. "Come on." He walked to the doors and they parted for him.

Anakin, conscious that he was about to enter the inner sanctum of the Jedi, took a moment to calm himself before he followed. When he entered, he went immediately to Obi-Wan's side. Conscious of protocol, he stood a little behind and to the right of his Master. And noticing how Obi-Wan stood, balanced, relaxed, yet ready to move, Anakin tried to imitate him.

"Now that all are present, we can begin the mission briefing," Mace said. "Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, you've seen the mission briefing, of course, but let Master Zee give you a few details."

"The Dark Force has always been drawn to the royal family of Rept'thik," Master Zee began at once. He rose and made a small gesture. A map appeared in the center of the room. Orbiting a yellow sun, four planets gleamed. The third was larger than the others, and had a distinctly tan tint. "The monarchs' homeworld sits on the edge of the Mid-Rim, yet she has a loud voice in the Senate because the royal family has contacts and durasteel-strong connections throughout the Republic. Our mission, simply put, is to learn if the royal family- some of which are Force-sensitive- are deliberately drawing on the Dark Force. If they are, we must try to show them the Light Force. If they aren't, we might discover the reason for the high concentration of the Dark Force around each of them." He waved his hand and the map disappeared as he turned to face the two Master-Padawan teams. "There will be three teams on this mission, but only one will be revealing themselves as Jedi, at least at first." He glanced sideways, and Adee Larn stood, moving to join him. "As you may or may not be aware, Master Adee and I are brothers. We are also the grandsons of the currently-ruling Grand Patriarch. As such, we will arrive as the named Jedi team. The rest of you have been assigned to meet and greet the Patriarch's two younger sons, T'thel and Tay'thal." He smiled when his eyes met Qui-Gon's. "Please, Qui-Gon, ask anything."

"Why are we arriving in secret? That is not usually the Jedi way," Qui-Gon answered.

"Simple," Adee said. "The only two Jedi that are not enemies of the state are Zee and I. We have royal amnesty. The rest of you, if you reveal yourselves before we know what's what, would be executed by either the police or by ordinary citizens seeking royal pardon."

"Why are they so against the Jedi? They must be involved with the Dark Force," Anakin said.

"Or seduced by it," Obi-Wan answered. "Please, Masters, continue."

Anakin felt the slight wave in the Force that informed him of Obi-Wan's displeasure, and he worked to release his hurt feelings and frustration. _It wasn't a stupid question, _he thought.

_It was a good question, _Obi-Wan answered at once. _But here in the Council Camber, all such questions should be directed to Qui-Gon or to me, not to Council members. In fact, I shouldn't have spoken either, since Qui-Gon is the senior-most Master here who is not already on the Council._

_Will you be reprimanded?_

_Possibly. Now, Padawan, enough. Listen._

_But it wasn't your fault! You were just disciplining me. _Ferus's words flashed across Anakin's mind and his anger rose again. _Now he'll have even more reason not to respect us._

Obi-Wan didn't comment, and his silence was enough of a reminder for Anakin to compose himself and try to listen to what Zee was saying.

"Lord T'thel rules the eastern province of Nephta and his brother is lord over the western province of Bellus'th. There are no people on the northern province, named simply Thh'el, which is our word for cold, and Zelzan, the Grand Patriach, is directly in charge of the ten thousand islands that are nestled about the equator. He rules everything, technically, but lets his sons do most of the work for their provinces. Since he controls the most land over the most area, he could change anything he didn't like in their provinces quickly enough." He frowned, then said, "The people of Rept'thik are not a space-faring people, so we'll have to find natural hangers for the main ship we're going to take. Almost everyone rides the local flying furries-" he smiled at the name- "so that's the transportation we'll be using once we're planetside. Even if we brought swoops or other such things with us, we'd be wise not to use them unless absolutely necessary."

He stood, making a bow to them that Anakin had never seen. "We'll be teaching you the greetings of this world on the journey; to a Repticonn, anything you say after a botched greeting won't matter. We'll be leaving in an hour. Make sure of one thing: bring light, airy garments and high boots.

"Are there other questions?" he asked after a moment's pause.

Obi-Wan asked, "Is there a propensity in your family for Force sensitivity?"

Zee nodded. "Few in the royal family believe in the term "Force" but that's nevertheless what they employ to move objects, influence many of their people, and read minds. We'll all have to guard our thoughts." He waited again for other questions, then returned to his seat.

Yoda said, "May the Force be with you all."

Out in the corridor, Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan. "We should each pack, then we'll meet at the landing platform above this deck."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Agreed." He gestured for Anakin to follow, and the two turned away.

_Obi mine?_

_Yes?_

_They won't reprimand you, I don't think. I believe they seemed pleased about your handling of the situation. Perhaps your work with Anakin has gone better than you think._

_Perhaps. In any case, I must speak to Anakin for a moment. Meet you at the shuttle._ He couldn't resist, even though the joke would surely get old quickly since they were in close proximity now. _Master Qui-Gon._

"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin said the moment they were by themselves. The lift doors had closed on them, and there was enough time to apologize. "I spoke out of turn. And I know much better." He looked down at the floor. "Forgive me. Please."

With his shields safely up for a moment, Obi-Wan thought, _You sound so old when you speak like this, Padawan mine, like the world is a cruel, terrible place and no one will give you clemency. _"Anakin, I was embarrassed that you spoke out, but it seems you are embarrassed yourself." He laid a hand on his padawan's shoulder and Anakin raised his eyes. "All is forgiven and forgotten. Qui-Gon doesn't think either of us will be taken to task. Let the feelings go, remember the lesson, and turn your mind to our mission."

"I can't, Master. I think I've embarrassed you more than just now." He shuffled his feet. "I didn't dress right to meet Master Qui-Gon and his padawan."

"Did Qui-Gon say something to you?"

"Master, you know he didn't."

"So Padawan Ferus said something regarding the state of your tunic?"

"You noticed!" Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan, and his face was crumpled with pain. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Obi-Wan resisted the urge to crouch down before his padawan. Not only was that a gesture left for younglings (and Anakin, once or twice, when he'd first become a padawan) but Anakin was growing each day, it seemed, and he wouldn't be shorter than his master for long. "Because I have always admired your ability to work inside or outside the customs of the Temple and still be a padawan I am proud of. What you wear or what you have done in one instance rarely distracts you or even makes you nervous for long. Take the experience back there in the Council Chamber. If I know you, Padawan mine, I'll bet you will absorb this new lesson within minutes and moved on to the next."

Anakin said, "If that's true, why am I so far behind in so many lessons?"

"Behind? By whose standards? Who does a Jedi compete against?"

"Himself. But do you see? I knew that, and I still asked!"

"Because you're frustrated." Obi-Wan stopped the lift. The doors opened. "Come with me." He steered Anakin into a mediation room.

"Master, I don't think I can-"

"We're not going to meditate, Padawan." Obi-Wan went to the window and bid Anakin to stand near him. "What do you see?"

Anakin hesitated. "The sky?"

"Good. What else?"

"The city?"

Obi-Wan had folded his arms, forgetting all time constraints, prepared to stand still and wait for an hour if that was what Anankin needed. "Don't ask; tell."

"The city. Buildings, air taxis, personal cars, speeders. People on the bridges."

"Yes. And where is the Force we rely on, that we partner with?"

"Everywhere."

Obi-Wan flipped his hand in a circle, a gesture he'd used before that Anakin recognized: more.

"In the people, the buildings, the speeders, and the bridges."

"Humor me on this next question, please. Is the Force even in the things you can't see, like the planet all this city is built on?"

"Yes, Master. It is in the people and buildings and machines we can't see as well as the ones we can." He added, "And we can tap into it, even if we can't see it."

Obi-Wan's mouth twitched and the brief glance he cast at Anakin was amused and proud. "I am lucky to have a padawan who makes leaps of logic. Thank you, Anakin. One more, please: Why are we Jedi?"

A frown tightened the skin between Anakin's eyes. "Because we were chosen by the Force to study it, become partners with it, and use it- no, work with it- to help others."

"So you're saying that what we're really doing is listening to the Force and working with the Force?"

"Yes, Master."

"So why exactly should clothes be a problem? Does what you wear distract the Force? Are we showgirls that will distract the Force?"

Anakin laughed. "Have you ever seen a showgirl, Master?"

"Qui-Gon had friends all over the galaxy, and I was fortunate enough to meet almost half of them during our time together. I've met more risqué people than a showgirl. And what's your answer to my question?"

The boy's eyes danced. "No, we're not going to distract the Force. We're here to listen to it. But, Master, if that's true, why do we have to follow certain protocols within the Temple and follow certain rules in the Council Chamber?"

"There are no actual rules in the Temple at large," Obi-Wan answered. "It is your connection to the Force that tells you what you should and shouldn't do. Take 'do not run in the halls.' That's not a posted rule, but most Jedi, from younglings to Masters, walk. Why is that?"

"Because being excited blocks your connection to the Force, which is a whisper in our blood. If I ran, even if I didn't care about seeking the Force at that moment, I could distract someone else, maybe a younger padawan who needed the serenity of the Temple to teach him how to connect more deeply with the Force." He nodded. "And the rules in the Council Chamber are in place so everyone in the room can focus on what the Force is saying about a certain situation." He nodded. "I understand." He glanced at his chronometer. "Master, we should pack."

Obi-Wan didn't move from his casual perusal of the Coruscant landscape. "Are you sure you understand, Padawan mine? Are there other questions you'd like to talk over?"

Anakin gave the question quick but careful consideration, as Obi-Wan had taught him. "I have no further questions at this time, Master Obi."

His master's mouth twitched again, and his eyes gave a full smile. "Let's get ready before Master Zee decides to leave us behind."

But when they were at last packed and ready, Obi-Wan said, "I must speak with the Council one last time. Will you accompany me, but wait outside the chamber? This is something I should have discussed with Master Yoda and the others long before this, but it's also something I think I'd like to say on my own." He shouldered his pack. "I never keep anything from you, and so I'll discuss all of it with you after I talk with the Council."

"Master Obi, it's okay if you want to talk to them first. Is this about the Dark Force bird that's been following you?"

Obi-Wan blinked. "Bird?" Then he shook his head. "We may be talking about he same thing, Padawan mine." He left their quarters and Anakin followed. "How long have you known about this bird?"

"Six or seven weeks. I forgot about it for a while, but it's the only reason I could think of that you'd want to talk to the Council without me. The bird doesn't follow me, just you."

Obi-Wan shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. "I shouldn't try to forget things or hide them from you or me. Seemingly you already know about it."

"Well, it tried to talk to me once," Anakin said. "It didn't touch me, or try to hurt me, but it did try to ask me about you."

Surprise was quickly overtaken by a new understanding, and Obi-Wan said, "On second thought, I'd like you to attend this meeting with me."

"Whatever the bird really is, Master Obi, I think it's dangerous. I said it was from the Dark Force, but only because everything bad comes from the Dark Force. I have no proof that's where it came from."

"That is how I feel as well. Perhaps the Council will be able to shed more light on the stalker." They were in the lift now and Obi-Wan used the motion to center his mind.

Anakin waited a moment out of respect, then said, "I won't let it hurt you, Master Obi. I promise."

That drew the man's attention, and he rested a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "I'm not asking you to protect me, Anakin. The Jedi watch out for each other. Don't think of protecting anyone; only think of following the Force and it will lead you to what you are supposed to do."

"I won't let it hurt you," Anakin said again. "As one Jedi to another, I won't let it." His jaw was set.

"Halt," Obi-Wan said to the lift. He faced his padawan. "Anakin, it may not be your Force-given task to put yourself between everything Dark or dangerous and me." He stopped, considered his next words, not wanting to drive his padawan from him, and went on. "Seek your true path in the Force. If it involves standing beside me, behind me, or before me, the Force will tell you. Pride aside- yours and mine- the Force knows what must be done by both of us at all times. Let the Force guide you."

"Would you mind if the Force said I'm supposed to protect you? I know you're my master, but the Force might not see it that way."

To the lift, "Resume. That's why I said your pride and my pride aside," Obi-Wan answered, meeting Anakin's gaze. "Any pride I have on that score will be dispelled by meditation in the Force, and I'll be glad to let it go." A small smile. "Our relationship as Master and Padawan has scarcely been the traditional one, and so for me to be offended is ridiculous. If I wanted a cut-out relationship, I would have gotten myself a cut-out padawan, and I would have to replace myself with a cut-out master."

Anakin nodded. "You don't have pride, Master Obi. You're the most Force-centered person I know."

"Rethink that, and add Yoda, Mace, the rest of the Council, Qui-Gon, Ryn-yn-"

Anakin laughed. Whenever he complimented his master, Obi-Wan almost always turned the compliment to others, or back to his padawan. Usually this did no more than cement Anakin's opinion because Obi-Wan did it honestly and without missing so much as a beat. "Yes, Master Obi."

Obi-Wan shook his head, smiled, then said, "Time to center our thoughts." He led Anakin to the Council Chamber, rang the bell and waited.

Only a moment passed before the doors opened and Zee, looking surprised to see them, stepped back and gestured them inside. "It has only been twenty minutes," he said. "Was there something more you needed to know before the mission?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Forgive me, Masers, but I have put off the telling of a threat for too long."

"A threat to the Temple you speak of?" Yoda asked while Zee regained his seat.

"A threat to the Dark Force." Obi-Wan settled his hands together before him and met Yoda's gaze. "A feeling, which I can't identify as Light or Dark Force inspired, has been in my thoughts and behind my thoughts for many years now. I became conscious of it six months after Master Qui-Gon left with his padawan, but I believe now that it has always been there." He paused, sought the right words, and spoke. "This feeling leads rapists to me. From Dooku through to ber'Nac. The Dark Force determined my weakness early on- my fear of being touched- and has been using every means to see that my worst nightmares come true."

"To what end?" Mace's frown was deep as a canyon.

"To stop me from interfering with the Dark Force's plans."

"But this feeling of yours, you said, isn't from the Dark Force," Adee said.

"No, Master, I said I can't identify the feeling. It could very well come from the Dark Force, but I'm unable to sense that."

"Meditated you have?"

"Yes, Master Yoda."

Yoda nodded. "A target we have established you; news this feeling is, but coincides with our concerns for you it does. Another means for singling you out it is. Follow Anakin it does?"

"No, Master, and it doesn't follow Qui-Gon either. Anakin can sense it, but Qui-Gon can't." He glanced at Anakin, then looked back at Yoda. "With your permission, Master, I would like Anakin to explain what he senses."

"By all means," Mace said.

Anakin bit his lip and stepped forward so that he was beside his master. He sensed Obi-Wan beside him and drew strength from him. "I've sensed this bird for about six weeks. It's probably the same feeling Master Obi-Wan is talking about, but I've seen it in my mind a few times, and whether that's my imagination or not, I see a large green bird with a yellow head and red wing-tips. With the bird is this black shadow, and the voice I sometimes hear comes out of that shadow. Last week, the bird's shadow asked me about Master Obi-Wan. It asked me some questions that didn't seem threatening and some that did. I didn't answer any of the questions, but I didn't-" he swallowed- "didn't try to get away from it, or seek out help. I just didn't answer any of the questions, and eventually it got tired of asking and left. Retreated, I mean, because I could still see it if I tried. I could see it now if I focused on it. Like Master Obi-Wan's feeling, it's with me all the time now. That's one reason I think we're talking about the same thing."

"What questions?" Yoda asked, leaning forward in his chair, hands interlaced at the top of his gimmer stick.

Anakin took another unconscious step forward, and his concern could have been mistaken for excitement. "First it asked me if O- Master Obi-Wan was my master. Then it asked me how old he was. Next, it asked me if my master- it guessed Master Obi-Wan was my master and called him that- had ever-" He fumbled at his belt, glanced at Obi-Wan, then back at the Council.

Obi-Wan stepped up behind him and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Please, Anakin."

The boy swallowed again and left off his belt. "The shadow asked me if Master Obi-Wan had ever touched me inasexualway and if I'd liked it. I almost answered that one, but I was afraid that anything I said could be used against my master, so I didn't say anything."

"Well done that was. Hhhmmph. More questions were you asked?"

"Yes. The shadow asked me if I had ever seen Master Obi-Wan naked and if I'd liked it." Anakin's cheeks burned and he stared down at his feet. "Then finally it left off the- those questions and asked me how good my master was at using the Force. It said my master could be a talented apprentice of the Dark Force. It left after that."

"Told your master of this you did not?"

"No, Master Yoda. I thought about it, and I know Master Obi-Wan knew something was wrong, but when he gave me chances to talk about it, I wasn't ready. I thought that it was just my-" Obi-Wan's hand tightened on his shoulder and Anakin blushed. "Forgive me, Masters. I was about to lie." He looked up, meeting Yoda's gaze. "I thought it wouldn't hurt Master Obi-Wan if I kept my mouth shut. I didn't care if it talked to me as long as it left him alone." He drew on the warmth of Obi-Wan's hand. "I don't want anything to hurt him. I know padawans aren't supposed to think like that, but I can't help it."

A silent communication, conveyed by looks, passed between Obi-Wan and Yoda, and the younger Master said, "Anakin, you and I have already talked about that, so please let it go for now. Let's focus on the bird and its shadow."

"Can you sense this feeling- this bird- right now?"

As one, Obi-Wan and Anakin reached out. Both were aware that the Council members were reaching with them, following the paths they used. Obi-Wan touched the feeling first, and though it flickered for a moment, it shone forth like a dark flame when he concentrated more deeply. Anakin, meanwhile, struggled for a full minute before the bird would come, but when it did, it came with a voice they all heard.

_Where is Obi-Wan Kenobi? Give him to me, Boy. I'm through asking. Everything I need to learn I'll learn from him. _

Anakin staggered back a step with the strength of the demand, and felt Obi-Wan steadying him. _I- _the padawan began.

_No. _A light, strong, good and warm, flooded the image they all saw. The bird vanished and the voice went with it. As the Council members and the two Jedi came back to themselves, all eyes came to rest on Yoda, who was sitting with both hands pressed to the sides of his head. His gimmer stick lay forgotten at his feet. With his face scrunched up and his eyes deeply closed, Yoda resembled a green and craggy mountain more than a living being. Slowly, he relaxed, opening his eyes.

"The Dark Force that was," he said into the silence. "Tried to cloak itself in obscurity and color it did, but the Dark Force it still was. A direct connection it has made with you, Anakin Skywalker, and severed that connection must be." He grabbed his stick and pulled himself to his feet. Moving towards Anakin, he ordered the padawan to kneel. Obi-Wan came with the boy, staying close.

"No," Yoda said. "Risk exposing you to the Dark Force I will not." He gestured, seemingly at random, and Mace, Zee and Ki Adi Mundi came to stand beside Obi-Wan. "Guard him you will. Raise your shields you will now, Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan's eyes went to Anakin, and he longed to disobey. But Anakin tried to smile bravely for him, and Obi-Wan knew he could do little more than get in the way by arguing with Yoda. He touched Anakin's shoulder, then stepped back so the others could lay hands on him and pour their protective powers into him.

Yoda said, "Lower all of your shields you must, Padawan Anakin. Hold back nothing from me."

_Please don't let him be reprimanded for the anger he sometimes feels. He is healing, dealing with it, becoming the Jedi we all know he can be. Let him be-_

_Put up your shields, _came Mace's voice, and Obi-Wan did as he was told, surprised that he'd been heard and wondering what sort of bond Mace and the others had rapidly built that allowed full access to his thoughts.

Anakin began setting aside his fears and anger. It was like picking up boxes and moving them from place to place. He wasn't sure he wanted Yoda knowing everything he thought, but he would rather die than make it possible for the Dark Force to hurt Obi-Wan. And as that realization crossed his mind, a box burst open and trumpeted this thought so that it fairly echoed: _I love Obi-Wan! I love Obi-Wan!_

Anakin winced. _Master Yoda-_

_Hush. Conerned with the Dark Force I am. Silent you must be, and interfere you will not._ Yoda reached deeper into Anakin's mind, and the boy breathed a sigh of relief when the master had passed the box and entered the deeper recesses. Here he found anger and worry, but he also found Anakin's determination to work past these and become a true Jedi, connected to the Force and dependant on the Force. Yoda sat still in this place for a short time, then he reached out, touching something in Anakin's mind, and abruptly the boy felt lessened, as if his eyes had dimmed or his ears stuffed with cotton.

Yoda pulled out a little and met Anakin's shocked mental gaze. _What I have done temporary is. Undo it you can, but encourage you to leave it alone I do. Even if after you the Dark Force is not, use you to hurt Obi-Wan it could. Listen to me you will now, and speak not. A full connection the Light Force have you; tampered with that I did not. Also the ability to detect what is Dark Force you have. But closed a door I have, so that enter your mind the bird cannot. Hear it through the door you may be able to on occasion, but hear your thoughts it cannot. Linger near the door you should not until understand how not to open it you do. A partial shield within your mind instead of around it this is. Ask your master how to erect such shields you may, someday, but require much study and mediation before implementation they do, so try them at once you must not. Try them on this upcoming mission, or even discuss them with your master you should not. Too much else to do there is. Understand me so far do you?_

_Yes, Master._

_Good. A harder topic we must discuss. Know of your love I do now. What do about it will you?_

_Nothing. _Anakin winced again. _He's with Master Qui-Gon._

_And fourteen you are. Meditate on making peace with those truths you should, especially the one you stated. _He waited while Anakin struggled to agree with that. _Time it will take, and patience. Ask Obi-Wan's help you may, but perhaps ask another you should. Members of this council good sources of help would be. And I am always here._

Anakin forced his mind to come up with the answer Yoda wanted. _Yes, Master. I'll try. _And it was no lie- he would try to stop loving Obi-Wan. The dreams were bad enough, embarrassing enough, when he woke from one. What if his master happened to walk in during-? Anakin's cheeks burned, and he sent, _I'll try very hard._

_Good. Tell your master I will not. Trust you to handle this I will._

_Thank you, Master. _Anakin felt Yoda leave his mind, and he'd never been so glad to be alone in his mind. He opened his eyes, unable to remember when he'd closed them, and saw the other masters stepping away from Obi-Wan. Anakin went at once to his master and smiled. "Master Yoda blocked the bird with a partial shield."

Obi-Wan nodded, turned to Yoda, and bowed. "Thank you, Master."

"Prepared for your journey you are?"

"Yes, Master."

"Wait at the platform Anakin will. Speak with you I must." Yoda started for the side chamber.

Obi-Wan looked to his padawan and reached out through their bond. _Anakin, I shouldn't be long._

_It's all right, Master Obi. I'll be on the platform. Do you want me to take your pack?_

_I'll keep it. Thank you, though. In twenty minutes, will you begin running the systems checks so that we can take off as soon as everyone arrives?_

_Yes, Master. _Anakin's flash of appreciation and pleasure wasn't lost on Obi-Wan. The boy bowed to him, including the rest of the Council members in the gesture and left.

In the antechamber, Obi-Wan sat, cross-legged, across from Yoda on the floor. "Memories for you this chamber has?"

"Yes, Master, but not ones that haunt or distract me."

"Good." Yoda leaned forward and a frown tightened the skin between his eyes. "Spoke you did of your fear of being touched. A fear this is not now, I sense, and yet referred to it in the present tense you did. Explain."

"The fear is occasionally reborn." Obi-Wan gathered his strength. "I have more to tell, but I thought to share it with you one-on-one instead of before the Council. I'm not afraid for them to hear it, and I will tell Anakin of it later, but it's hard for me to make this suggestion. It sounds impossible."

"Hmmmph. Speak. Difficult things are made easier when they are done."

Obi-Wan cast inside himself for the right words. "Our last six missions were never competed, and I've found a good reason for that."

"Seen your records I have. Personal attacks these have been, you believe, and agree I do. Increasingly concerned with you the Force is becoming: both halves." Yoda reached out and laid one gnarled hand on Obi-Wan's folded ones. "Connect to you I wish to. Hear all of this I must, but, more important, know if trying to enter your mind the Dark Force is I should." He saw the flash of shock on Obi-Wan's face and said, "Let it in you have not; know this I do. But entered surreptitiously it may have."

"Yes, Master. If you want to connect, I will help."

"Protect you I will, Obi-Wan. Protect the Jedi I will until death, but protect you especially I must. As a son you were to me when a youngling you were, and only deepened that feeling has." He closed his eyes, and Obi-Wan imitated him. "Exchange there will be, because completely open this connection must be. As repeat none of your secrets I will, repeat none of mine I ask you to."

"I would never-" the connection was made- _betray your confidence, Master._

_Doubt that I do not; only asking I am. _Then Yoda was silent, and he dove into Obi-Wan's mind like a fish cutting through deep water, seeking the very bottom. Images came and went as he took them in and let them go out again: Anakin, pleasure in his eyes, Qui-Gon's bare chest in the soft glow of Obi-Wan's bedroom lights, Obi-Wan's lightsaber, Xanatos- Xanatos- Xanatos walking into the fetid and deadly pool, then rising from it at some hidden place to continue his conquest of the galaxy and his search for revenge against Qui-Gon.

As Yoda moved deeper, Obi-Wan likewise received images: himself as a youngling, struggling so hard to do all that was asked of him, a wave of Light Force that nearly blinded the young Jedi, a hundred smaller waves that were the Light Force of every Jedi, Mace twirling Yoda around as they danced to music played on ten-stringed harps in their quarters, Adee Larn's face, which inspired concern and uncertainty in Yoda, and a string of three children: one who looked much like Yoda, another who looked like Mace, and a fair-haired infant with shining eyes who was handed over to a woman who stood in a desert hut. _This is the baby you are looking for, _Yoda had told her, and Obi-Wan felt the powerful Force-suggestion behind that, and the sense of cutting and abyss-depth loss.

Yoda touched off another memory, and Obi-Wan was temporarily distracted by it, letting some of the images Yoda had to cast off go past unheeded. In the Crystal Cave, Obi-Wan was confronted by a black-masked Sith who insisted he and Obi-Wan knew each other. But now, Obi-Wan thought not of Anakin when the Sith-vision announced it was someone he feared. He thought of Annie, little Annie Jinn-Kenobi, Annie Jenn, who was but five years old. _Ridiculous, _he thought, but the idea stayed, so he filed it away beside the impossibility of the Sith being Anakin.

_There are no impossibilities in the Force. _Not Yoda's voice but his own, and Obi-Wan decided he wouldn't judge the thought yet. Much time must pass before he could prove or disprove either guess as to the Sith's identity.

It was then that Yoda hit bottom, and searched for the Dark Force. Obi-Wan felt the total loss of every secret he'd ever held, which were few and small. Still, he'd never been without at least one or two hidden things, and he felt naked before Yoda. Not threatened, but his modesty made him blush, even in deep meditation.

Slowly, Yoda searched, and Obi-Wan endured the embarrassment, casting as much of his modesty to the wind as possible so that Yoda would have less to deal with. Focusing on this task instead of trying to keep from blushing made Obi-Wan's mind much more open, and he sensed that soon Yoda would be done.

Drawing back, Yoda sent, _I do not sense the Dark Force. Ask you to be vigilant, as always, I do. Monitor you from time to time I would like to, and perhaps let Qui-Gon search your mind through the bond you share you should. Not every day, but occasionally._

_Yes, Master. _Obi-Wan came out of their connection and gazed at the wizened master. "I can't help but be concerned for Anakin. The Dark Force reached out to him, _talked_ to him. He's strong in the Force, and he knows how to do the right thing, but he is still young."

"As are you, Master Kenobi. And so, like you, he should come to others for help. To you, but not only to you. If there is ever something you cannot handle, other Masters are here for you." Yoda stood, but his gaze forbid Obi-Wan from rising, at least for the moment, "Above all, Master Kenobi, you will not delay telling things any longer. Qui-Gon's tendency towards self-reliance to the exclusion of all else I sense in you. Need that you do not. Help Anakin or yourself it will not." He reached out, softening his words with a touch. "Forget you must not that concerned for Anakin we all are, but concerned for you as well. A Master you are, but also under our protection you remain. So you shall always be. As I am under the protection of all Jedi, so are you. Protect and be protected; that is the will of the Force for us all. Because no Jedi can protect others if dead he is." Yoda started from the room, and when he was near the door, Obi-Wan rose from the floor to follow. "Going on this mission you are," Yoda said before he reached the point where the door sensor would detect him and respond. "Careful you must be. Another trap this could be. And, as you have seen my concern about Master Adee, deny it I will not. Watch him you must, even as you watch the royal family. Usually your tendency to keep others at arm's length I try to help you work past. On this mission, your ally it will be." Yoda frowned. "Another concern I sense in you. About this 'impossibility' it is?"

"Yes, Master. Each trap laid reminds me of Xanatos, his way of working. I know he is dead, but if there are no impossibilities in the Force-"

"Then living he might still be." Yoda frowned and scratched at his chin. "True that is. Meditate on it, I will, seek an answer from the Force. For now, concentrate on the mission you should, but if Xanatos's ways these traps remind you of, be prepared for a similar trap on Rept'thik you should be. If still alive he is, perhaps reveal him this mission will. Warn the others you should."

Obi-Wan gave a nodding bow. "Yes, Master."

Yoda went out, and Obi-Wan only followed after he had composed himself to walk through the halls like a Jedi and not like an uncertain child.

_I feel almost like I am fourteen again, _he mused as he left the Council Chamber, heading for the starfighter platform on the next level. _Not because of fear, but because there are so many looking out for me, and because I seem to be the center of attention again. I already miss the last five years, Qui-Gon or no Qui-Gon, because at that time it was just Anakin and I, with little contact with the rest of the Temple. Dangerous as it is to always be alone, we watched each other and followed the Force. Let that continue despite these new revelations; I would almost anything than lose my connection to my padawan._

On the platform, Obi-Wan saw Qui-Gon and Ryn-yn talking. He moved towards the open door of the ship the four Masters and two padawans were to take, an old, run-down thing that looked much slower than it probably was. Behind him, he heard Qui-Gon break away from Ryn-yn and stride forward to join him. At the foot of the ramp, Obi-Wan turned and met his lover's gaze. _Everything's all right; Master Yoda only wanted to make sure the Dark Force hadn't invaded my mind surreptitiously. I told the Council everything I told you. Except about Xanatos, and Yoda knows that part. He said he will search the Force for news of Xanatos still living._

Qui-Gon nodded, his face serious. _We'll be on the look-out as well. Will you tell the rest of the team?_

_Yoda told me to, and I think, under the circumstances, it's a good idea. Will you help me? You know- knew him better._

_I'll help if need be, but remember that Masters Adee and Zee already know most of the story. They were on the Council at the time. _They started up the ramp. _I'll brief Ferus. Does Anakin know?_

_Almost everything, I think, though I'll remind him of Xanatos's way of working. Any and all can do with a little refresher course. _They parted ways, Qui-Gon going to find Ferus, and Obi-Wan ducking into the cockpit so he could check on Anakin and make sure his padawan was ready to take off. _Assuming the Masters will let him. He's a better pilot than anyone else on this ship, maybe even in the entire Temple. Maybe? _Hr laughed. _Probably, almost definitely._

Anakin, in the pilot's seat, glanced back at him, his eyes glowing like Force-crystals. "Master?" _Is everything all right?_

"Yes, Padawan mine." Obi-Wan took the copilot's seat. "Everyone's aboard, I believe. How goes the systems check?"

"Done five minutes ago."

Obi-Wan chuckled and checked the traffic lanes, sending a request for departure to the Temple. _We sent our permission _flashed across his screen. _Didn't you receive it?_ Obi-Wan laughed harder, and wiped at his eyes with one quick flick of his hand. _Acknowledged, _he sent over the link, then glanced at Anakin, who looked both pleased and embarrassed. "You could have told me, Padawan."

Anakin couldn't hide his grin. "I'm sorry, Master."

"Indeed?" Obi-Wan folded his arms. "I assume you can actually fly this giant bird?"

Zee poked his head into the cockpit. "Well, I won't be flying." He wrapped his tail around one arm. "You'll find the coordinates for the jump in the lower right hand corner of your screen, Padawan. Let's fly." He disappeared into the rest of the ship.

oOo

Yoda slipped into bed beside Mace late that night. He wasn't in the mood for sleep, but events of the day had awakened a need for warmth in him that he wouldn't ignore. At once, Mace's arms came around him and Yoda settled down with his head on his lover's shoulder.

"What is it?" Mace asked, kissing Yoda's brow.

A soft sigh. "Concern for our son. Fallen in love he has. And though I know that many young padawans fall in love, then come to their senses, worry I do that let go of his love so easily Anakin will not."

Mace's eyebrows climbed. "Who does he love?"

"Hmmph. Obi-Wan."

If Mace had any hair left, he would have been pulling it out. "Sun and moon, what's he doing? Trying to repeat the miracle Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stumbled upon? Does he think Obi-Wan would leave Qui-Gon for him? What does he think?"

"He does not want to cause any trouble," Yoda answered, "yet his love for Obi-Wan is an honest passion, untainted by many of the complications of adolescence."

"So maybe his love is only an over-developed sense of protectiveness?"

Yoda shook his head. "I wish that was all it was. But Anakin has had vivid dreams of being with Obi-Wan." He met Mace's dark gaze so that there could be no mistake. "As we are together."

Mace groaned. "Does Obi-Wan know?"

"No. Promised Anakin that tell him I would not. Told Anakin he could confess it if he wanted to, but mostly that Anakin should come to other Jedi for help."

"Obi-Wan would probably be embarrassed but able to help Anakin work through it."

"True that is, but concentrate on the breadcrumbs the Dark Force is dropping he should. Time for a padawan's misguided interest he does not have."

"Will Anakin try to tell others, or work through it himself?" Mace's left eyebrow climbed. "He shouldn't try to approach Qui-Gon with this revelation."

Yoda's mouth quirked up at the thought. "Think Anakin knows that already I do. Approach others he may, but only after this mission. Determined he is to protect Obi-Wan; distracted he will not allow himself to become."

"Such an attachment is dangerous, especially if it's only one-sided. And even if Obi-Wan was ready at sixteen for love, does that mean Anakin, at fourteen, is ready for unrequited love?" He sighed. "I can't believe that."

"Nor can I." Yoda frowned. "And a more troubling question this raises: if protecting Obi-Wan Anakin is, will he be able to stay alive until time it is for him to fulfill his destiny? Hmmph. Asked a question with an unknowable answer I did. Either strong enough Anakin will be or not strong enough."

"Obi-Wan will defend Anakin to his last breath."

"Know this I do, and hidden strengths Obi-Wan has, but a strong raw connection to the Force he has not, nor will he ever have. The strongest Jedi in a thousand years Anakin is. A terrible burden that may be for him, when realizes its implications finally he does."

"Is there anything more we can do for either of them?"

Yoda humphed. "Guide they while at Temple we can. And monitor this mission closely we will. If danger there is on Rept'thik, prepared to help we should be."


	20. Rept'thik

**Warning:** For those of you who have read the _Jedi Quest_ series, I apologize for what I did to Ferus.

**Author's Message:** Enjoy! I promised it would be a month or less! Better news: I know what's coming next, which isn't always the case when I submit a chapter. Be prepared, in this chapter, for lots of talking. In the next chapter, there will be a lot more action, and maybe even some R-approved torture.

Rept'thik

Adee had landed on his planet half a dozen times before, and so he guided the ship in and settled her in her natural berth. Anakin sat in the copilot's seat, but Adee didn't allow him any control over the landing. The padawan let go of his frustration. He'd learned long ago that not everyone was as trusting of his abilities as Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. So when Obi-Wan touched his mind, the master found it completely free of irritation, and praised his padawan.

"We're here," Adee announced, rising from the chair, his tail almost slapping Anakin across the face as he moved. It would have if the padawan hadn't ducked. "Everybody out. Now we just have to see if we can catch some furries."

This was the only part of the mysterious mission Anakin was dreading. He didn't consider himself a slouch when it came to living mounts, but it would be a long time before he felt at home on one, as he did in a ship or podracer. _Still, _he thought, _if riding a 'furry' is the hardest thing this trip, I'll have gotten off easy. _Grinning, knowing he'd be challenged in the coming days, Anakin joined his master at the head of the ramp. The two Repticonns had already disembarked, and Qui-Gon and Ferus were following suit.

Obi-Wan cast his padawan an amused look, then followed the others. When they were all on solid ground, the ship's hanger door closed and sealed. The oppressive, wet heat hit them at once, and Anakin glanced around, taking in the swampy terrain. He looked up into the trees, saw something large moving there, and drew the others' attention.

"Good eyes, Padawan," Zee said. He shaded his eyes with his tail. "That's a furry. Female, I'd guess, and with a brood of six or seven youngsters. We'll stay clear of her, but hopefully we'll find some burdenless young adults running about."

A large furry landed on their ship and began to sniff around. It wasn't followed by any children, and seemed unafraid of the visitors.

Qui-Gon whistled, a soft sound that was amazingly high-pitched. The furry titled its head, considered Qui-Gon, then leapt off the ship and trotted over to him, happily wagging its meter-long tail. Standing only half a head taller than Qui-Gon, it was three and a half meters from snout to tail and covered with russet and brown fur. It sniffed the Jedi Master, then lay down at his feet. Qui-Gon at once scratched it between its fuzzy ears, and it began to purr.

Zee chuckled. "Well, that only leaves the rest of us with the task of finding our own mounts." He gazed around, then pointed high up in another tree. "There a family group. If we approach slowly, we'll be sure to find some willing among them." He started in that direction and all but Qui-Gon started to follow, but as they neared the trunk of the tree, one of the creatures scuttled down and knocked Obi-Wan off his feet.

Anakin's hand dipped towards his lightsaber, but Obi-Wan called silently, _It's all right, Padawan mine. She's just being friendly._

Obi-Wan rubbed the long nose that had been thrust in his face, and seemed utterly unafraid of the long, pointed teeth that rimmed the muzzle above him. He didn't whistle, but sang a short snatch in a falsetto so high that everyone's jaw dropped, even Qui-Gon's.

"Where is it you learned to imitate our singing?" Zee asked. "I didn't think you'd ever visited here."

"I haven't." Obi-Wan climbed to his feet after the furry took a step back and lay down. "But I guessed these were like the tree-neh on Bollin II." He frowned. "What did I sing?"

" 'Evening light is good for hunting. Hunt with me.' " Zee shook his head. "If you can imitate so well, I may teach you a greeting or two for when we will all visit the Patriarch." He glanced at the others. "All right; two masters have their mounts, and even before the natives. Let's see what we can find."

Anakin was the second-to-last to coax a furry to him. The only one to fail more miserably than he did was Adee, and that made him feel a little better, though Ferus's arrogant snort infuriated him. But at last, all were mounted.

"We've landed on Reh, technically one of Patriarch Zelzan's islands, but a small one where he doesn't spend much time," Zee said. "Follow us to the shore, and from there you'll be able to see the two principalities to which you'll be going." He nudged his furry into a springing gallop.

Less than three minutes later, the shore could be glimpsed through breaks in the trees, and two minutes after that, Zee brought his mount to a standstill. He pointed left across a wide stretch of water. "Can you see the shimmer there, just above the water? Those are the mountains of the eastern tip of Bellus'th. Obi-Wan, you and Anakin will be headed that way, to speak with Tay'thal. Would you mind showing me your bows?"

Obi-Wan and Anakin dismounted and, as one, offered Zee the bow he had taught them.

The Repticonn nodded, satisfied. "And what will your greeting be?" he asked Obi-Wan.

A short, high speech was his answer. Anakin hoped he wouldn't have to ever speak like that. It was hard enough listen to. He wasn't sure he could ever manage to utter a single word with a straight face.

"He may well ask you to translate, to see if you know what you're talking about."

Obi-Wan gave another bow. "My lord, we are anthropologists from Bollin II. We speak little of your beautiful language, but we beg sufferance to learn more, by your leave."

"The anthropological field lost a gifted student, Master Kenobi." Zee returned the bow, then glanced at Qui-Gon. "The plains of Nephta are much easier to spot." He gestured east. "There you will find T'thel." He watched Qui-Gon and Ferus make the bow, and nodded. "Excellent. We'll all meet on the southern shore of Thh'el three days from now." He mounted his furry and gave them a slightly wave. "May the Force be with you." His furry cantered into the sea, then began to swim.

Adee, standing close to Anakin, said quietly, "Don't let your master wander about unattended, Padawan. There are some here who would find him irresistible." He followed his brother.

Anakin stared after him for a moment, then glanced at his master to see if Obi-Wan had heard. But his master was speaking quietly with Qui-Gon.

"Even Master Adee knows Obi-Wan is weak," Ferus whispered as he gigged his furry sideways so he could move past Anakin.

Before Anakin's anger could do more than flicker to life, the Light Force surrounded him, filled him, effectively extinguishing the flame. _Anakin, what is it?_ Obi-Wan's voice was more concerned than irritated, and Anakin relaxed into it, letting everything go.

_I'm allowing Ferus to anger me. I'm sorry, Master. _He struggled against the urge to tell Obi-Wan exactly what Ferus had said, but Obi-Wan saved him the trouble.

_His contempt for me can't be hidden by a polite mask, Anakin. I've already seen it enough today. I'm setting aside any feelings it inspires in favor of a closer connection with the Force, and I ask you to do the same._

Anakin unconsciously squared his shoulders. _Yes, Master. _He steered his furry to his master's side, conscious once more that the beast below him had a mind of its own. More comfortable with that renewed concern than with Ferus's comments, he let the latter go. Though another box was added in his mind, he wasn't aware of it.

"We may or may not be able to hear each other over such a large distance," Qui-Gon said. "Even if we can, it might be wise to keep our shields up until we know how talented they are at using the Dark Force. And that includes our links with each other," he added, glancing first at Ferus, then Anakin. "Remember, Padawans: we're here to observe, to record, and to facilitate peace if possible. Don't judge too quickly. Listen to the Force." His eyes sparkled for the barest moment. "And now I've said enough of what you already know. Here's a bit of new news: did you notice that Master Zee said we're here to speak with the Grand Patriarch's younger sons? He has a daughter as well, older than the two ruling lords. She has been declared an enemy of the state; Temple information couldn't tell us why. Keep your eyes open for her." He met Obi-Wan's gaze, and a silent message passed between them, not even through their bond. Only a look exchanged between two men who knew each other intimately. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you," Obi-Wan answered. He nodded to Anakin, and the two of them moved into the surf.

"Master?"

"Yes?"

"Will Ferus ever respect you?" A pause, then, "And why doesn't he respect you? He's Qui-Gon's padawan! Qui-Gon would never say anything bad about you."

"He doesn't respect much, including himself. In fact, his respect seems to extend to only Qui-Gon and Council members."

Anakin's eyes widened. "How do you know he doesn't respect himself?"

"He doesn't trust himself, his instincts, or his connection to the Force. He clings to rules and standards because he thinks he'll find respect for himself through them."

"I thought he was arrogant, not that he was unsure."

"Many times, arrogance is a cover for some other emotion."

"Oh. Master, are you supposed to be discussing this with me? I'm a padawan."

"You have the responsibility of keeping this to yourself. And yes, I had to discuss it with you: his contempt for me was becoming a true distraction for you. If I could dispel it, I had to try." He glanced at Anakin. "There is a terrible danger here. I feel it through that cloaked feeling. The Dark Force is powerful here, and driven to a specific end, not simply the eventual dominance of the Dark Force. I need you completely focused."

"Yes, Master." Anakin thought about the partial shield Yoda had created. "I can't hear the bird anymore. But do I need to while I'm here?"

"Not as long as I can hear it," Obi-Wan answered. "I want you to be free of it as long as possible. A time may come when you have to break through the shield, but that time is not now."

"Will you tell me when it is?"

Obi-Wan glanced at him. "Don't you believe I will?"

Anakin blushed, but kept on: "But what if you don't want to expose me to it?"

"I'll have to set aside my own need for comfort and do as the Force tells me."

_I can't imagine just giving over all control like that. _Anakin sighed. _And that's probably what's stopping me from being a strong Jedi. _But he couldn't abandon Obi-Wan's fate to the Force; he had to keep Obi-Wan safe. If he failed, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. _Everything else- anger, suspicion, worry- will be set aside. But I won't let go of my love for him. _He blushed slightly. _I won't let go of his fate. I'll keep him safe, no matter what the Force thinks._

oOo

"You run a high risk assuming that my way of doing things is one of only two ways," Qui-Gon said when they were in the middle of the churning sea. "As many master-padawan teams as exist, there are that many ways to do things."

"I'm sorry, Master. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong."

Qui-Gon reined in his temper with difficulty. But this talk had been two days in coming, and though this wasn't the best time, the talk must come before they met up with Obi-Wan and Anakin again. "You don't think openly disrespecting another Master is wrong?"

Ferus flushed. "I didn't mean-" He winced and looked down at the brown fur under his hands. "I'm sorry, Master. I won't be rude to Master Obi-Wan anymore."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Ferus, listen to me. I don't want you to do the right thing because I tell you to do it. I want you to understand why Master Obi-Wan deserves respect."

"He's a Master. I should respect him because of that."

"No. You should respect him because you admire things that he has done or said. On principle, all masters and padawans, all living things, should be respected, that's true, but you will be working closely with Master Obi-Wan and his padawan for at least this mission, and possibly others. If you need a reason to respect them, try this: Master Obi-Wan is fully aware of your lack of regard, and yet he conducts himself as a Jedi, giving up any reaction he has to your attitude so that he can be more firmly connected to the Force."

"But… Yes, Master."

"Please speak your mind, Padawan." _And will we ever be so close that I call him 'Padawan mine?' I wish for that day; by the Force, I hope for it with every fiber of my being. I want to be close to him, not as I am with Obi-Wan, but as I never was with Xanatos._

"He isn't that strong in the Force. And he submits to people." Ferus's embarrassment was palpable.

_Ah. You've been listening to the rumors that pass through the Temple, though we haven't been there in years. What have you heard since we came home?_ "Why do you say that?"

"It's a fact, Master, that his Force-connection is so weak that he was almost dismissed from the Temple."

_Where did he learn that? More: did he learn it through his own investigation, or was it fed to him?_ Then Qui-Gon dismissed the questions; they were worse than a distraction. If left unchecked, they could drive him from the trust he had in all those who inhabited the Temple. _Sometimes to turn a deliberately-blind eye is the only way to survive. _He hated that thought, and knew he would have to discuss it with Yoda, but for now all he did was let the anger it awoke dissipate. "True, but isn't it possible that Master Obi-Wan has other strengths that make up for a lack of natural talent?"

"Like what, Master?"

"Patience. Dedication. The ability to immerse himself in the Light Force he _is_ able to reach, no matter what's going on around him."

A distant explosion, coming from the direction where Anakin and Obi-Wan had gone, drew their attention, and it was all Qui-Gon could do not to drop his shields and shout across the distance. He also resisted the near-imperative to swim his furry in that direction and make sure his Obi-Wan was all right. _My worry about him is as much a handicap to him as his lack of natural connection to the Force. _He saw Ferus looking that way, and said, "Master Obi-Wan and Padawan Anakin will have to take care of themselves. We have our own quarter of this mission to explore."

"Yes, Master."

oOo

They'd scarcely reached dry land when the first explosion went off. The Force had warned them, and so they were able to urge their furries into simultaneous leaps seconds before the ground where they'd been standing exploded.

"More!" Anakin said, and pointed to the little toadstool-looking things that were scattered everywhere.

_They seem to be prepared for invaders. Have we arrived in the midst of a civil war?_ Obi-Wan spotted some high ground free of the toadstools and gestured for Anakin to follow him. He urged his furry into a leap, but behind him, Anakin couldn't quite manage it. His furry was skittish, frightened by the loud sound. Obi-Wan, safely above, dismounted, compelled his furry to stay for a moment, and leapt off the rise. He dropped onto the furry's back. Around them, the toadstools were rolling, converging on their location. The Force whistled a warning in their minds. Obi-Wan sang a quiet snatch to the furry, and she leapt, settling calmly beside the other. Obi-Wan jumped back to his mount, and beckoned Anakin on. "We need to find a safe place to assess this. Clearly, they were expecting company of some sort." He glanced at Anakin, saw his padawan struggling to forget what had just happened and move on, and said, "Praise her. Tell her she's a good girl. She did what you needed."

"Only after _you_ told her to do it!"

"She still did it. She'll soon learn to take your suggestions."

So Anakin petted his furry and tried to put his heart into telling her how good she was. Surprisingly, she eased under his hand, even darted a toothy grin back at him. He relaxed. _So it's not that hard._ Grinning himself, he praised her more, then urged her to keep pace with Obi-Wan. This it did cheerfully.

"Excellent." Obi-Wan scanned the terrain ahead. No more toadstools awaited them, but he knew from experience that they were almost surely still in danger.

"Kesssst plah!"

Obi-Wan drew his mount to a standstill two meters before the figure that had appeared in the road the Jedi had found at the top of the low cliff. The Jedi Master slipped easily from his mount and made the bow Zee had taught them. "Kesssst plah." Hello. "Seeen tella Basssic?" Do you speak Basic?

The Repticonn, a brown female, blinked. "Yes. But I didn't know off-worlders could speak our language."

"I only speak a little," Obi-Wan answered. "My friend here and I are anthropologists seeking to learn more about all aspects of Repticonn daily life. The study of language and music is my particular passion, and Anakin here studies culture, specifically seeming opposites: diplomacy and warfare." With another bow, he said, "I am called Obi-Wan."

The Repticonn bowed. "I am Thay-alla." She met Obi-Wan's gaze. "You will come with me now."

Obi-Wan felt the strong Force-suggestion behind her statement, and only had an instant to decide what to do. Trusting Anakin to follow him, he said, "We'd better come with you. We don't know this country well."

"Just so." She laughed. "Please, mount up." She whistled much as Qui-Gon had, and her own furry appeared from where it had been concealed behind several large trees and thick bushes.

Obi-Wan at once mounted. He caught Anakin's eye when Thay-alla wasn't looking and winked. The apprehensive look on his padawan's face disappeared instantly as he understood that his master hadn't been taken in. In single file, Obi-Wan first, then Anakin, they followed Thay-alla.

The country through which they passed changed rapidly from forest to swamp to forest again. The furries managed all the terrain with confidence, and Obi-Wan noticed they seemed to be following Thay-alla, or at least her mount. He wondered if it was an instinctive following, or if these furries knew Thay-alla. The answer to that could help him to know what sort of bond she had with the Force. The Force-suggestion she'd sent hadn't been tainted with the Dark Force, but that didn't mean the Dark Force wasn't her usual way of communicating. But one thing the Dark Force couldn't do, with all its power, was command animals. It could beguile humans and other sentients, but animals were immune to its dubious charms. _So if it turns out that they are following her, she must not radiate the Dark Force on a regular basis. We'll have to wait and see._

Obi-Wan also noted that though they occasionally came upon a road, they rarely traveled it. Often, they followed it, three dozen meters to one side or the other. _She either doesn't want to be seen, or doesn't want to be seen in our company. _That posed the question: why had she suggested Obi-Wan and Anakin come with her? As yet unable to answer it, Obi-Wan dedicated his attention to the way they traveled, determined that he wouldn't lose his bearings.

And, behind all these thoughts, was the feeling, still hovering, still watching. Obi-Wan sensed that it wasn't just watching him now, but had turned its attention to Thay-alla also. _Well, my Force-sensitive friend, at least that's one thing in your favor._

"Stop here," Thay-alla said. She dismounted, and her furry promptly scampered off up the nearest tree. The Repticonn didn't spare it a glance as she moved aside some vegetation and pressed something the Jedi couldn't see. The ground under them trembled- Anakin's furry jumped a little- and then a small door appeared behind the vegetation. "Dismount."

Anakin and Obi-Wan did as she bade, though she hadn't used the Force this time, and followed her through the door. Obi-Wan noted that the door locked from both the inside and outside. _We won't be getting out that way without the code or whatever's needed. _He wasn't worried; there was almost always more than one way out of a secure compound. Besides, Anakin could almost surely crack the code. And, failing that, there were always their lightsabers.

They walked down a genuine hallway, surrounded on all sides by durasteel. Obi-Wan noted the visible sensors every few steps, and wondered how many hidden ones also watched them. _Whoever she is, she's been established here for a while, or she's taken this compound from someone else. Either way, deception, and possibly war, is commonplace here._

"You're quiet," she said suddenly, turning to face them. Behind her was another locked door. She crossed her four arms and wrapped her tail around the door handle. "Well? What do you have to say for yourselves, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker?"

Anakin's hand went for his lightsaber, but Obi-Wan forestalled him. "You have us at a disadvantage," he said. "Clearly you were expecting us, but if we were supposed to meet you, we weren't informed."

She raised one bony eyebrow ridge at him. "You followed me readily enough, and I'm not convinced you were under coercion."

"We're here to learn about your people, just as I told you. Why shouldn't we follow a native who can perhaps teach us more than any contact we were supposed to make?"

"Who were you to speak with?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't know. We were told only that the people of Rept'thik would be receptive."

She snorted. "I don't know where you got your information, but this isn't a good time for _anthropologists_." She narrowed her eyes on that word and seemed to be looking right into Obi-Wan.

He smiled. "Perhaps we asked the wrong people. Seemingly this wasn't the most ideal time. The rolling bombs on the beach would argue that visitors- or someone else- isn't welcome here."

"You're trying to get me to give away something. It won't work. I can read every intention of yours, and you're telling me only half-truths."

"You haven't been exactly forthcoming, Thay-alla. You obviously have some power that you expected to exercise over us, and now that you can't, you're heaping accusations on us." Obi-Wan turned to Anakin. "If you don't want us here, we will, of course, be only too glad to leave. Dancing around with words isn't my idea of a good time."

"Aren't you at least a little curious about how I know your names?"

"You don't seem to know more than that, so no, it doesn't concern me." He turned to face her, and took three steps until he was less than a meter way. "If there's something you think we can help you with, maybe we can help. But you'll need to come partway. I've given you our mission: to learn about your people, never mind the rest of it, and that's all I'm going to offer without an explanation or two. We haven't traveled halfway across the galaxy to reveal ourselves to the wrong person."

She chewed her lip. "My name is Thay-alla Nira, daughter of Thann-ella Nira, daughter of the Grand Patriarch. We've been waiting for someone to come to us, to help us, but I can't know if you're them." She shook her head. "Just because you resisted my suggestion doesn't mean you have what I have."

"And for that act of faith, I will show you what we have." Obi-Wan moved his hand and called his lightsaber into his grasp. His action made Anakin blink and Obi-Wan didn't wonder- they were supposed to be in disguise, after all, or those had been their orders. But trust must return trust. "I am a Jedi Master and this is my padawan. Were we the ones you were waiting for?"

She chewed her lip again, but this time in excitement, and her eyes were large with amazement. "Yes! Yes! Mother said you would come!" Without hesitation, she opened the door behind her and ushered them in. "Please, come quickly. We need you."

Obi-Wan re-sheathed his lightsaber and gestured for Anakin to precede him. Before the door closed behind him, Obi-Wan did a final sweep of the corridor. It was still empty, and the Force didn't tell him otherwise. Satisfied, he let the door slide closed.

oOo

"You really are starting to worry me," Zee said as the brothers neared their grandfather's palace.

"_I_ worry you? When Kenobi is being stalked by the Dark Force, and could easily bring the destruction of the Jedi because he doesn't know how to block it completely, _I_ worry you?"

"Don't pretend to be concerned about Master Obi-Wan or about the Jedi. You and I both know the real source of your concern."

Adee chuckled. "How can you? You're my big brother, not my twin." He laughed as Zee colored a deeper shade of blue. "Oh, that's right! I forgot! You _are_ my twin; you just told Yoda you're my older brother so he wouldn't suspect the deep connection between us."

"I only told him that for your protection, as you well-"

"Enough." Adee waved his hand imperiously. "What is my real concern, dear brother?"

"There are days I wish we weren't related, or that Mother hadn't allowed you to go to Temple."

"If you won't tell me my concern, I'll tell you: the time is coming when distractions must be put away, and the Great Purpose must be served." He grinned at his brother. "And Kenobi is a distraction."

"Only to your second tail," Zee muttered.

"Ah, a reasonable assumption, brother, but no: those days are far behind me. Kenobi is one of the linchpins that holds up the Republic. He doesn't know it, and Yoda doesn't know it, and you don't know it, but he is. And not because he's so powerful himself, but because he supports the cornerstone. And without that stone, the Republic will fall and the Jedi will follow."

"Who is this cornerstone? Qui-Gon? Anakin?"

Adee shrugged. "How should I know? I don't want to rule the universe; I'm just a lowly little pawn." He grinned. "But a pawn with something to gain."

"What?"

"So full of questions! Could that be because you're interested?"

"We're twins, aren't we? Do you think I could have lived as your shield for so long without some of what you believe and feel taking root in my mind?"

Adee laughed. "A good point, brother mine. Simply put, I'll get my pick of worlds, including this one, and I get the honor of disposing of Kenobi. Or changing him, whichever happens first." He saw the question in Zee's eyes and laughed again. "That one I can't answer for you, only that death might be only one path Kenobi could take. And as to the other, I don't know it, except to know only that he'd be out of the way. See, brother? I'm not heartless or lust-driven; if need be, I'm perfectly willing to let him live, unmolested. That should ease your mind."

"It does. It does."

oOo

Thann-ella Nira considered the Jedi before her. They bowed well, and the older one spoke well, but she wasn't quite as willing as her daughter to believe them. She knew little of the younger one, and that made her cautious. As a way to separate the two Jedi, she suggested that her daughter take Anakin for a tour of the facility. She watched the older Jedi debate within himself. She didn't extend an invisible hand to sift through his thoughts, knowing that he would almost surely block her. Not being able to read him made her even more reticent. At last, he nodded to his padawan, then thanked her for the tour opportunity. The two of them watched Anakin and Thay-alla leave.

"Please," she gestured to the low seat before her improvised throne. "Sit and we will discuss what brings you here."

The Jedi settled himself, looking comfortable as if he was among people he could trust. Unable to resist, she reached out and touched his mind. She found it surprisingly open. He radiated a sense of peace and reserve that was no different from what she saw on the outside.

"Who _are_ you?" she asked, her eyes flashing in frustration.

"Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi."

She shook her head. "I mean, who are you to act this way? You are calm before me, though I could easily kill you."

"If this is my time to die, it is the will of Force."

She lashed out at his mind, invading it. All she heard below the calm surface was an echo of the sentiment he had just expressed. She withdrew, coloring slightly at her brazen attack, but refusing to apologize for it. "You mean that. How can you? Life is a thing to be cherished, not to be trusted to another."

"The Force is everything, is _in_ everything," Obi-Wan said. "Why shouldn't I trust an all-knowing presence that protects me, lifts me up, and sustains me?"

That gave her pause. Drawing in a breath, she said, "Clearly the Jedi view the power that surrounds us as a partner instead of a tool."

Obi-Wan's smile was slightly teasing. "Can you imagine telling an all-knowing, all-powerful being what to do?" He sat forward, meeting her gaze fully. He reached out with the Force and touched her mind, though without penetrating. She heard his words as much with her ears as without them. _"You are a conscientious and careful leader. Please share your views on this tool you use, and I will share with you what I've learned of the Force."_

"Is that why you're here? To simply share ideas?"

"_I'm here to learn about your people and help protect them from the threat of the Dark Force if I can."_

She reached towards him through the fibrous, temporary connection he'd forged. _"Just you and your padawan?"_

"_No. There are two other Jedi teams here, one that is speaking with your father, and another that is speaking with your brother, T'thel. Anakin and I were meant to speak with Tay'thal."_

"_He won't receive you."_

"_He might, if he's unaware that we're Jedi. It isn't the Jedi way to keep secrets, but there are times when they are necessary."_

She considered that. _"Then you might have a chance. But you must know that the rest of my family and I are on separate sides."_

"_I assumed as much. The warning about the Dark Force I bring to all, because no life should be wasted. As many as we can save, we want to save."_

Thann-ella wondered if all Jedi were as dissembling as this one, and decided, _If they are, then perhaps we're in good hands. Perhaps we can save our society by saving the hearts of those in it. "You have a good and honest heart, Obi-Wan Kenobi. What would you have us discuss?"_

oOo

T'thel's palace was ostentatious, even by the grandiose standards Qui-Gon had come to expect from royalty. Servants tended to every need of their ruler as he reclined on a large stone dais and sipped some sort of honeyed drink Qui-Gon could smell even from where he stood, several meters away.

_Opulence doesn't make him a bad ruler, necessarily, but he is used to having his own way. This will diplomacy at its highest: convincing someone who thinks they have everything that they need one more thing._ Qui-Gon made the bow Zee had taught them, and Ferus, beside him, imitated him. "Lord T'thel. It is an honor to meet you."

The Repticonn scowled. "And you are?"

"Qui-Gon Jinn, of Coruscant. I'm a traveler in search of work and discovery."

"Those two things rarely go hand in hand. What would you work at here?"

"I was hoping to find work in your gardens, Lord. I and my apprentice are botanists seeking rare and beautiful plants that might also have medicinal values." Qui-Gon sensed the Repticonn's rising anger, and knew he would have to work hard to avoid the rage that was being directed at him. Behind the anger, he sensed a tendril of the Dark Force, but it was not strong or direct. _T'thel is almost surely not the source of the Darkness that has been sensed here._ His heart went to Obi-Wan for a split second, and he prayed his lover hadn't discovered the source. _Let Tay'thal be equally clean._

"So you would steal our plants?"

"No, Lord. We would exchange the honor of working in your gardens for a chance to discover a new medicine. If any medicinal plant is found, we would of course pay all royalties to Your Majesty, and give your planet credit for the plant's production. All would know what great things you have done in the name of science."

"Huh." T'thel shifted on his large seat. "You speak well, but how can I trust you?"

"All trust must be earned, my Lord. I propose that you allow my apprentice and I to work in the gardens, but under the supervision of someone you trust. Then our honesty and integrity will be proved."

"A good thought." T'thel frowned deeply. "You have spoken to many rulers before, I take it?"

"Yes, my Lord. My apprentice and I have traveled to many worlds in pursuit of knowledge and to save lives."

"I have my own proposition. One of you will work in the gardens, and the other will work here so that I can keep a personal eye on him." He held a hand as Qui-Gon opened his mouth to speak. "Ah, and I will choose who works where. If you don't like it, you'll be declared enemies of the state. Non-Repticonns are rarely allowed to keep their lives once they set foot on Rept'thik." He frowned over the two of them. "The younger one will stay here with me, and you will go to the gardens." His smile was unpleasant. "If you try to deceive me, he will be killed."

Qui-Gon bowed. "We accept. Might I have a moment to remind my apprentice of your policies on decorum?"

T'thel gestured expansively. "You have until tomorrow morning. A guard will come and take you to your room. Leave my sight."

Out in the hallway, Ferus's eyes went to Qui-Gon at once, and there was no way to disguise the nervousness in his gaze. "Master…"

Qui-Gon put a finger to his lips. "Trust me, Padawan," he murmured. "When we're alone, we'll discuss this in more detail, but for now, just listen." Qui-Gon gestured with his chin to a cluster of palace guards nearby. They were muttering in a mixture of the Rept'thik language and Basic. Qui-Gon did his best to memorize the foreign syllables, hoping to repeat some of it later to Zee or Adee.

"….looking for her…disastrous…explosion by her hidden realm…not one of our troops…foreigners…"

Qui-Gon filed that away, wondering if Obi-Wan and Anakin had encountered this mysterious female, and wondering, also, if she was the Grand Patriarch's daughter. _If so, Obi-Wan's part of this mission has changed._

A guard, approaching from the other direction, hailed them. The twist of his lip was unmistakable. "My Lord says you're to follow me." He strode away, and the Jedi had to keep a quick pace behind in order to follow. They passed though three or four corridors, each more squalid than the last. The guard jerked his tail at a door. "That's your room." Without troubling himself anymore, he stalked away.

Qui-Gon pushed open the door, saw that there was but one reeked mattress, and nodded to himself. He found a relatively clean place on the floor and sat in a meditative position. Ferus, after closing the door, came to sit beside him.

"Our missions will be parallel," Qui-Gon said. "You will be closer to T'thel, and so you will watch him for signs that he is communing with the Dark Force. Be the Jedi I know you are, and he will come to trust you. I'm going to commune with the earth and with those workers I meet. When you can be sure that he is either connected to the Dark Force, or he is not, we will meet back here."

Ferus fidgeted. "You'll trust my judgment? On such an important mission?"

"Why shouldn't I? You're my padawan; we've worked in concert for five years. When should our bond of trust be built?"

"But… you reprimanded me for not trusting Master Obi-Wan. And you've never given me so much responsibility."

_And shall I admit the reason for that, or only the reason for the change?_ They would have a few hours. _And he's almost eighteen now. It's past time I did the right thing._ _We've talked before, but this may be my last chance to talk with him for awhile. The next time we're at Temple, he may have handled himself so well that it will be time for his trials. _And, all the rest of that aside, if Obi-Wan had taught him anything, he'd taught Qui-Gon to not be quite so secretive. The Master made sure Ferus met his gaze. "In the beginning of our partnership, I was haunted by the loss of Obi-Wan. True, he hadn't been my padawan for several months, but I still wanted to be close to him, and I wasn't quite ready to let him go." He frowned. "Of course, you've known of our bond; it was one of the first things I explained to you after we left Temple."

"Ferus nodded. "You didn't want to severe it." He looked away for a moment.

"Please, what is it?"

"I… I always thought of him as the woman, the feminine one." He blushed. "I thought of him as weaker. Because of the rumors." He swallowed. "Jedi aren't supposed to tell rumors or listen to rumors, but they trickled down to the youngling all the time… Master, we've never been close. And I hate that. I hate that Obi-Wan was everything to you. I hate that he was a living ghost I had to measure up to every moment of every day. It was easier…" His blush deepened. "It was easier to belittle him than to deal with you, or to try and be as good as your memory of him. Did Master Obi-Wan ever make mistakes?"

Qui-Gon's chest felt tight, and he felt the anger at himself kindle and grow. He worked to dispel it for a moment, but then, seeing that Ferus needed his answer _right now_ he said, "Everyone makes mistakes. And if I never conveyed that, I'm sorry. And now that you show it to me, I see how I have always measured you against Obi-Wan, not because he was better, but because he is dear to my heart. I could list Obi-Wan's mistakes, and perhaps that would make you feel better for a moment, but what you really need to know is that I've always been proud of your accomplishments."

He shook his head slightly. "Obi-Wan told me once that I don't show my appreciation of those very close to me enough. And here I've fallen right back into that pattern, though it stung when he said it." He resisted the urge to reach through the Force. "It hurts to know that I've pushed you away for so long, but I know that fact hurts you even more. My own master and I never grew close, and I consider that one of the great sadnesses of my life. That I'm repeating the cycle makes me ashamed." He reached out with one hand, unable to resist the physical touch, at the same time wondering how long it had been since he'd touched Ferus. "But the fact that you've stayed on the Light Path despite my lack of attentiveness and my tendency to compare you to a padawan who is long gone and who grew in the Force differently than you did, is a testament to your commitment to the Force. In that you should be proud.

"I won't leave it at that. There's still time, though I've waste much of it, to impart to you those lessons I've learned, and to perhaps become friends." His lips moved of their own accord, and Qui-Gon's eyes shone. "Give me another chance, Padawan mine. I'm a slow learner, but I do learn.

"I'm going to show you my appreciation and my respect. I ask that you try to release your hatred, not only because it is a path to the Dark Side and I can't imagine the Jedi losing such a talented Knight, but because, at least in this, Obi-Wan is blameless. If he knew the source of your justified frustration, he would back you and take me to task." Qui-Gon spoke his promise then, and he gripped Ferus's arm. "I repent, Padawan mine, and I promise I will do all I can to measure you by your own growth in the Force from this moment on."

"Master, you don't have to make such a pledge to me." But Ferus looked more relaxed and comforted than Qui-Gon had ever seen him.

"If it makes you feel better, Padawan, the pledge is made to the Light Force as well as to you."_ And don't tell me it's not needed; I should have seen, before now, what was missing in our partnership: my trust and ability to tell you when you're doing things well. If Obi-Wan's concerns about Anakin can be this easily tended to, if not healed, then all will be well with him, as well._

"We should meditate now, then sleep. Remember, please, to keep your shield up."

"Yes, Master." Ferus closed his eyes, but then he asked, "Will you and I ever share the trust and confidence in each other that you and Master Obi-Wan have?"

"I hope so, Padawan mine. It's always been a great amusement to Master Yoda that, as strong in the Living Force as I am, I still misjudge the interactions between myself and those closest to me." He chuckled softly. "You might like to know that there have been times uncountable when I've misjudged my relationship with Obi-Wan. Our time as Master and Apprentice, well as it ended, was rife with misunderstandings on both sides."

A meditative silence followed this, and Qui-Gon retreated into a half-trance, thinking first of Obi-Wan, as his mind longed to do, then turning his thoughts to the mission ahead. The next few days would be crucial. _And will Ferus be able to handle his solitary part in this mission? I believe he will. I must make sure to tell him so before we-_

A chuckle, so alive and near it could have come from someone kneeling right beside him, brought Qui-Gon out of his mind. At once, he reached out to the Force, not caring for an instant if he was sensed. _That laugh… So familiar…_

The Dark Force surrounded him, screamed in his mind and tried to drown him. Qui-Gon was on his feet at once, his lightsaber drawn and ready. At his side, Ferus was also on his feet. Qui-Gon took two steps closer to his padawan. "Stay close. It looks as though we'll be forgoing our assigned mission." Qui-Gon reached out to the room around them, and the world behind. In this way, he encountered the locked door, and nodded. "We're locked in, Padawan mine. Let's see who appears before we try cutting our way out of here."

"Should we call for help, Master?" Ferus held his lightsaber in both hands with unconscious grace. The Light Force hummed close to his body like a second skin.

Qui-Gon longed to congratulate his padawan on his quick transformation. _No, it's not that. He was always like this, focused and connected. It's only that frustration with me made him unsure of himself, and he was forced to put up an unnatural shield._

There was the sound of approaching footsteps in the hallway and Qui-Gon, knowing they probably couldn't talk their way out of this, but still wanting to give it a try, deactivated his lightsaber and hid it away. Ferus did likewise, though he raised his eyebrows at his master. Qui-Gon simply inclined his head towards the door by way of explanation.

The door was unlocked. It swung out. Two Repticonn guards flanked a human Qui-Gon knew well. _He won't want to talk. _Still, he didn't reach for his weapon yet. Time was still on their side.

The ex-padawan smiled. "Qui-Gon. I should have known it would be you poking your nose into matters that don't concern you."

"What concerns the Force concerns me," the Master returned. "You're looking worse for wear, ber'Nac. The Dark Force doesn't agree with you."

Ber'Nac smiled. "And how is my Obi-Wan? Does he still allow you to rape him?" He reached into his cloak, bringing out a lightsaber. Its blade, when he activated it, wasn't red, but that did little to comfort Qui-Gon. "What do you say? Shall we duel, loser gets to take your padawan and Obi-Wan away from this place?" His eyes went to Ferus. "Have you ever been touched, Padawan? Has he fucked you yet?"

_He doesn't sound like himself. Where have I heard words like this before?_ Qui-Gon interposed himself between ber'Nac and Ferus, and that simple movement told him all he needed to know. _He sounds like Xanatos, from tone to words to delivery. It's as if he's not only spoken to Xanatos, but spent extensive periods of time with him._ Just like that, his last doubt that Xanatos was indeed alive vanished. _Obi-Wan was right. He survived somehow, impossible as that seems._

Ferus had drawn his own lightsaber. "You've given up a path in the Light. The Force no longer protects and tends you."

To hear the words made Qui-Gon's heart sing. And to see Ferus being impetuous, to draw his blade without looking to his Master, was cheering. _His recovery amazes me. It is as if the last five years of struggling almost hadn't happened. _Qui-Gon drew his own lightsaber and took a step towards ber'Nac. "We will duel, but for freedom. You will be returned to Coruscant for justice."

"The Jedi kill even while they pretend to seek serenity and speak of justice."

Those words, too, were like Xanatos', and Qui-Gon wondered how long the two had known each other. _It could be as long as five years, _he realized, then, _Is Xanatos here? _He hadn't sensed his old padawan, but that meant nothing. He hadn't thought, until now, to look for him. "Will you taunt with words, or will you duel?"

ber'Nac sneered. "I don't need to duel. You'll surrender. To keep Obi-Wan alive, you'll surrender."

"A moment ago, you asked how he is, and now you say you have him?" Qui-Gon shook his head and took another step. "You haven't grown up at all during your time in the Dark Force, ber'Nac. What besides speech patterns did Xanatos teach you?" He menaced ber'Nac with his lightsaber. _He's just as he was when he left the Order. He is not the enemy I thought he might become when he escaped the holding cell beneath the Temple._

ber'Nac gave ground, but the guards didn't, drawing their blasters and covering the Jedi.

Qui-Gon continued to advance. _And if he isn't the enemy I thought him, can he possibly be the source of the Dark Force concentration that has been sensed here? _He reached out to the Force, and felt its answer almost at once: _No. So we're dealing with another enemy. Perhaps Xanatos, perhaps not. _

Another step back, then ber'Nac turned and fled.

The guards didn't follow him, but opened up on the Jedi.

_They're but a distraction, Padawan, _Qui-Gon sent through their bond. _We must follow ber'Nac. But try not to kill these two. They're but innocents, I think._

Less than a minute later, the guards lay, unconscious, against the wall. They'd been Force-pushed, and so their only injuries were the lumps on their heads where they had crashed into the wall. Leaping over them, Qui-Gon raced down the hallway.

_We won't be welcomed after this, but what else could we have done? Nothing. Let it go. Next: we'll have to escape the palace, then pick up ber'Nac's trail. And I must find a way to warn the other teams that he is planetside, and that he is not the source of the Dark Force concentration._

Why was ber'Nac there? What had he hoped to accomplish? He'd been sent or lured; that much was obvious. He seemed to have no will of his own, beyond that which was controlled by his lust, and surely, if he'd even had a plan, it had been poorly formed. _But still, someone knew Jedi were going to be here, and summoned him. Who knows all that we do, and informed on us? Surely this meeting wasn't by chance, though he was almost surely surprised to see me. His words about Obi-Wan were only made after he'd seen me, and he said nothing of Anakin. He may not even know Obi-Wan is planetside._

There was no more time for thought; Qui-Gon sensed the approach of many guards, and though none radiated the Dark Force, he wanted to preserve as many lives as possible. Stopping below a high window, Qui-Gon hoisted himself up on the ledge, saw that they would easily be able to jump the distance from the window to the ground, and began cutting away the glass/metal mix with his saber. With this done, he leapt, trusting Ferus to follow him. The two of them sailed over a barbed wire-topped wall, gliding on the winds of the Force. They settled in the shadow off the same wall and listened to the pandemonium they'd left behind in the palace.

Qui-Gon glanced at Ferus to make sure he was well, then said, "We might want to make ourselves scarce, Padawan mine." He wondered, unable to shake the feeling that they were safe from those in the palace, despite how close they still were, _Why were we drawn here? Not to be harassed by the people of this world, or by ber'Nac. Is there some other reason for our being here, another that is directing our movements? Or are we just here by chance, he heard Jedi were coming here, and sought to kill a few?_ His mind spun round with unanswerable questions, and at last Qui-Gon let it go. _If nothing else, we are still here to complete our mission. I will have to be content with that- though open to all other possibilities- for now. We're needed here; that much is obvious._ But his feet itched, and Qui-Gon longed to about the real business of learning what ber'Nac had been doing on Rept'thik. _If it was just Ferus and myself here, I might pick up and follow ber'Nac completely. But there are others relying on what we do here. I must follow the mission to the end. _He already longed for the days when it had just been he and Ferus, alone, following the Force's call._ Or, even, if it was just Obi-Wan, Anakin, Ferus and I._

They were well away from the wall before Ferus asked, "Master?"

"Yes?"

"He wouldn't have raped me, I don't think. He didn't really have any interest in me. And I don't think he's a real threat to Master Obi-Wan."

Qui-Gon blinked, considered that, then said, "You're right; he didn't want you. And he is of very little threat to Obi-Wan, if a threat at all. But I stepped in front of you because his words triggered a response in me." Qui-Gon glanced over his shoulder, noting that they weren't being followed, and wondered how many true invaders Rept'thik had ever had. _Not many. Their reputation for hating visitors must have always been enough._ "No Jedi should let the words of another direct his movements, but I was forcibly reminded of what Xanatos said to Obi-Wan long ago, and reminded that I hadn't been able to protect Obi-Wan." _Though I do not doubt you._ "I know you would have been able to defend yourself against him, Ferus."

Qui-Gon felt Ferus's hesitation through their bond, but his padawan conquered it and asked, "Why couldn't Master Obi-Wan defend himself?"

"Because he has a weak natural connection to the Force, and at that time, he knew not how to compensate for it with hard work. Over half of all that he has accomplished, both as a padawan and as a master, has been due to patience and persistence."

"Then why has the Dark Force targeted him in the past?"

"What have you been reading, Padawan mine, or who have you been listening to?"

Ferus shrugged. "It sort of became general knowledge after Master Yoda sent that communiqué to all Jedi in the field." He met Qui-Gon's startled gaze. "You didn't read it, Master? We received it only six months after we left Temple the first time. Master Yoda ordered all Jedi, if they heard anything about Master Obi-Wan, from anyone, friend or foe, they were to report it to Master Yoda. He named Master Obi-Wan a target of the Dark Force, more so than most Jedi, and asked all in the Order to keep their ears open."

"I wonder if that communiqué was an embarrassment to him."

Ferus shrugged. "I thought it was sort of embarrassing, but it must be necessary if it came from Yoda." He blushed. "I used to think it was because Master Obi-Wan couldn't take care of himself, and I wondered why he'd been allowed to become a Master. But if he's a real target of the Dark Force, why is he?"

"No one knows," Qui-Gon answered. "That's partially why he's in so much danger. We don't know if he's wanted for himself, or if, by proximity, he's keeping the Force from working its will on someone else."

"Like Anakin? He's the Chosen One."

"It's quite possible, and I'd be tempted to believe that, but we have to keep all options open, and that means setting opinions aside until we have proof." Qui-Gon pointed. "There's the seashore. We'll have to find other furries to help us cross, but that's all right."

"Where will we go, Master?"

"North, for now. Perhaps one of the other teams will contact us. But, since it's known already that we're here, we'll head north by way of Bellus'th and reach out to the Force. Maybe we'll be able to determine where the Dark Force isn't, even if it is cloaking itself and keeping us from discovering exactly who its originator is." He frowned. "It's probably just as well that I didn't read that communiqué. I might have been tempted to head back to Temple at once and protect Obi-Wan myself."

"I'll help you defend him, Master, if he needs it." Ferus's gaze was directed up into the trees. "There are two furries, Master, and they don't seem to have little ones."

Qui-Gon followed his gaze, nodded, and said, "Let's see if they mind giving two wayward travelers a ride."

oOo

It had been a setup. ber'Nac never believed anything so strongly as he believed that. Darth Calus had told him- repeatedly- that this would be his final mission, and then he would be allowed to carry out one of Darth Sidious's most important orders: the disposal of a "linchpin" in the Jedi Order. Nothing more or less than the murder of Obi-Wan Kenobi. But here he sat, alone in his quarters, knowing he would have move on soon because the Repticonns were growing tired of his alien presence on their pristine shores. And he had nothing to show for coming here.

Calus had set him up. The Sith apprentice had known, somehow, that it was Qui-Gon Jinn who would be here, Qui-Gon Jinn, who would never, for an instant, leave his beautiful whore unguarded. _He set me up to do the impossible. To kill Obi-Wan in direct combat- easy. But to kill him while he's guarded by that jealous whoremaster? Even Sidious himself would be challenged! The only thing worse would have been if I'd walked in and seen Yoda standing there._

ber'Nac scowled and stood to pace. In the years since he had, against his better judgment, listened to the voice that spoke to him through the Dark Force and compelled him to leave Naboo space and head for Ilum, he'd been taunted and tormented by Darth Calus. Sidious seemed to not care if he lived or died, and so he was left in the hands of the Sith's inept, close-minded apprentice. Calus seemed to have no goals, except serve his master, and this lack of drive continually frayed at ber'Nac's nerves. Not only would Calus ignore him when he spoke of his desire to have his needs fulfilled, but the apprentice taunted him with his needs. _You only want one half-effective Jedi when you can have the universe?_ ber'Nac had longed to say, _At least I want something. You're content to be an eternal lap dog._

He wasn't stupid. Talk like that could get him killed.

After this mission, he'd thought to do the Sith's will and secure his place in the new order. But thanks to Calus, ber'Nac knew he was going to have to work hard and fast to get out of this. Qui-Gon had been reminded of his existence again, and so the Jedi Master, who, it had once been said, never gave up until an enemy was dead, would be on his trail.

_The only chance I'll have now of killing Obi-Wan is if he's on this planet and Qui-Gon can be convinced that I'm not. He'll pursue me- or the rumor of me- to the end of the galaxy. _Qui-Gon's legendary obsession wasn't something a Jedi should be known for, according to the teachings of the Jedi, and yet he was encouraged by the Council, had always been.

_To make matters worse, I had to open my big mouth and mention Obi-Wan. If he'd thought I'd forgotten, maybe Qui-Gon wouldn't want to kill me. But I just had to speak, if only because seeing him was so unsettling and so unexpected… But could my words be turned to my benefit? If Qui-Gon thinks I'm running from him, going off to look for Obi-Wan, maybe he'd follow me off-planet. Then I could take Obi-Wan out._

He stopped pacing and frowned deeply, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. _It would only be the work of a few well-laid plans, and the knowledge of where Obi-Wan is right now. Once I know that, I can send Qui-Gon off on his chase, and I'll be able to do Sidious's bidding in spite of Calus._

It could work. It really could. He just had to learn where Obi-Wan was. _To do that, I'll have to beg a favor or two from T'thel. But he'd be glad to know that I'm going to kill one human and get rid of two others, then vacate the planet myself, after leaving him a large store of credits, of course. That should be more than enough to ensure his cooperation._


	21. Disposal

**Warning One:** Yoda/Mace: kissing and talking. If you don't like this, don't read that section. But you'll be missing some important information.

**Warning Two:** non-explicit rape

**Warning Three:** lots of Dark Force

**Author's Note One:** I promised to have this out every month. How did I do? (This is a serious question- if it's been over a month, I'd like to know. I'm going to circle exactly one month from now on my calendar and make sure I do what I promise.)

**Author's Note Two:** The reason for Yoda/Mace: This pairing is necessary because a character you haven't met yet, a character that will change how Anakin sees things, needs them to be together.

Disposal

Thay-alla had shown Anakin about the inside of the compound, then taken him 'out back,' as she called it, to show him the greenhouses they'd built. "Invisible from the air, they still let in plenty of sunlight, and our specially-designed drains let in just the right amount of rainwater."

Anakin was distracted by worries about Obi-Wan (_this place is just too full of the Dark Force; how could I have left him alone?_), but he did have one question that she'd raised. "You talk about all the accomplishments you've made here, and this place is the most amazing hide-out or safe-house I've ever seen. How did you have the time and money to build all this? I mean, the manpower-" he winced at the slightly-racist term- "labor alone must have taken a hundred Repticonns at least."

She laughed. "You think we built this? We just improved on it. It existed almost a hundred years ago, when my uncle, Tay'thal, and my grandfather had a fight. Tay'thal wanted Rept'thik to become part of the Republic; my grandfather didn't. Tay'thal tried to lead a revolution, and for a while, it seemed he would win. But then… Something changed. The thing we used to talk to the furries, the thing we used to move objects, became contaminated. Suddenly, it was being used to control people's minds and to separate those who knew how to use it from those who didn't. You call it the Force, yes?" She nodded when Anakin nodded. "Well, the Force became polluted. It could be used to kill now, not just to cure. The Force here used to only be used by farmers, herders and doctors."

"Did your grandfather use the Dark Force?"

She sighed. "No one knows, now. There was talk of that, especially when my cousins Zee and Adee left to join the Jedi. But it never came to anything. My uncle chose peace instead of change. Rept'thik has stayed isolated and the poisoning of the Force hasn't stopped, or even slowed.

"That's why my mother came here, and began to call people to her. She's planning to go up against the rest of Rept'thik. She wants us to trade with others, to join the Republic, and to also stop the spread of the bad Force." Thay-alla laughed. "She has a long way to go before we'll be anywhere near ready to fight." Then, giving Anakin a shrewd look, "But we wouldn't have to wait so long if you were here to help us."

_Of course we'll- _Anakin shook his head. "The Jedi don't take sides, usually, in civil wars, but if the Dark Force is involved- we felt it taking root here all the way from Coruscant- we'll make sure that's removed before we leave. The rest is up to you." He saw her face fall, and reached out, touching her shoulder. "Don't worry; we'll be here to help with negotiations, just not the fighting part."

"Negotiations are useless!" She rounded on him. "My grandfather doesn't talk to anyone."

Anakin extinguished the instant flame that leapt up in his mind. _She doesn't know Yoda, who would come if he was needed, and she doesn't know Qui-Gon. _He relaxed. _She doesn't know what Master Obi can do._ He met her gaze. "You don't know my master. He can talk a malia out of charging." She looked confused and Anakin realized she probably had no idea what a malia was. He tried a comparison closer to home. "He was the second of us to call a furry to him, mostly because, when it seems like he's just standing still, not doing anything, he radiates a sense of calm and attentiveness. You saw him with his skills at half-power when he talked to you earlier, and your mother is probably seeing his power at three-quarters, but he can charm more than furries. His honesty, persuasion and persistence can't be matched. Master Obi-Wan will help lead the talks between your mother and the rest of her family. He'll help bring peace."

She shook her head. "I'll try to have your faith."

"It's not faith; I've seen it proven a dozen times on a dozen worlds. More."

Thay-alla smiled. "All right; I'll have to put my faith in that. Let me know you the pool where we swim. It's beautiful. My mother built it."

oOo

Darth Calus stepped back from the image of his master. He bowed one final time. "I will do all you ask, Master."

"I expect nothing less." The image dissolved.

_How quickly things change. _Calus chuckled. _For five years, I baby, cajole and encourage an ex-Jedi who can hardly keep his hands off himself long enough to think of true ambition. He was never a threat to Obi-Wan, despite all the advantages he was given, all the power he was fed._

_And so, like a knife that can't be repaired, that has rusted beyond all usefulness, he will be disposed of. Here on Rept'thik. And I'll- possibly- take his mission unto myself. _Sidious hadn't told him what to do or not do concerning the six Jedi wandering about the Sith Lord's newest acquisition.

_Almost-acquisition. The difference between ber'Nac and me is that I won't count my victory until it is assured._ All the times he'd thought for sure he'd killed Qui-Gon, he'd still left a note, right where Qui-Gon could find it, just in case his former master managed to live.

_I've never been over-confident, and that's saved me a thousand times and more. So here, too, I won't number this among my victories- among the victories for the Sith- until it is accomplished. The gaining of a loyal, befuddled servant, the killing of another, the possible destruction- finally- of Obi-Wan Kenobi._

_And, of course, the other death that might be unavoidable. After all, he's served his purpose on the Council, and we can't risk Yoda getting suspicious._

He shook his head. He knew little more than Adee did about why Obi-Wan was so important, why he had to be killed, but he could care less. He didn't need to know, not until he was Lord and had an apprentice of his own.

_Not yet. I'm content, for now, to wait and watch. I don't know everything about the Sith, even now, after so many years, and I won't make the mistake of jumping too soon. When it's my time to become Lord, I'll know it._

He laughed softly. _Maybe I have more in common with the Jedi than I thought. I learned patience from the most patient man in the galaxy. It's ironic; the patience he taught me will be his undoing._ Thinking of Qui-Gon breaking the Force-collar with pure rage as he, Xanatos, raped Obi-Wan. _Wonder if his former padawan knows it was anger that set Qui-Gon free. Probably not. Qui-Gon keeps his own counsel more times than not, and that's one thing that hasn't changed over the years. He's stronger in the Light Force, could be a true challenge to me, just possibly, but he still has two linked weaknesses: Obi-Wan, and his own anger. He'll never escape either of those, and as long as he has them, he'll be vulnerable._

Now, to the real business at hand: disposing of ber'Nac. _He'll most likely get himself killed by one of the Jedi in the next few days, maybe even sooner, but I'll have to keep an eye on him. _Still, the urge to kill the mole they'd had sitting on the Council called to him, and Xanatos followed his instincts more often than not. _Just like Qui-Gon again._ Smiling, he left the room where he'd been communing with his master. _I'll find one of those furries, make it take me to the Grand Patriarch's main. There I'll find him, and I'll find my target also. _As he strode down the corridor, he considered the possibility that his target could change, that the one from the Council could make a better puppet than his grandfather. _If that is what will be, it will be. I'll know when I see him._

oOo

Mace woke from troubling dreams of the Light Force. He had a gift, Force-given, to see where lives crossed in the Force, how they would meet in the near future, and, sometimes, how they would interact when they met.

His dream had been of Anakin, Obi-Wan, a girl-child with red hair that he guessed was Annie Jenn, and a black-haired, fair-skinned man with blue eyes. _Xanatos. I've seen him enough times to know who he is. _Except this Xanatos was too young to be alive now, and he also was missing the half circle scar Xanatos had given himself years ago before he left Qui-Gon and the Jedi for the Dark Force.

_They're connected, all of them, and the two that became the most entangled were Anakin and Xanatos. And their joining was not wholly violent._

"Sleep you cannot?"

Mace blinked, and noticed that the space beside him in bed was empty. Yoda was sitting in a low chair by the window, gazing out at the lights of Coruscant. Mace touched the sheets, feeling the very little heat they radiated. Yoda had left the bed some time ago. Rising, Mace joined him at the window, sitting cross-legged beside him.

"I was dreaming. There is a connection- physical or through the Force, I don't know which- between Anakin and Xanatos." He closed his eyes. "I'll keep the possibility in the back of my mind. There's nothing I can do about it yet." Another fragment of his dream came to him. "It's in the future, a few years down the road. They may meet before then, but their connection will not be formed for years." He frowned. "It will be an ambiguous connection, not light or dark, at least not to start with."

"Hmmmph. A connection between those two I do not wish there to be." Yoda smiled, shook his head. "And yet, hinder the Light Force I will not." He took Mace's hand. "Speak of another matter I wish to."

Mace nodded. "Anything."

Yoda put Mace's hand on his stomach. "Feel it you do?"

Mace meant to reach out to the Force, but before he could, he felt the firm kick against his hand. "Y-Yoda! You're pregnant."

"Hmm. Observant you are. Known of my pregnancy for two weeks I have, and noticed it you have not, though close many times we have lain." He raised Mace's hand to his mouth and kissed the brown palm. "Tried we did not to have any more children, but disappointed I am not. Believe children are a blessing I still do."

Mace drew Yoda onto his lap, held him close in his strong arms. "And if this one is also Force-sensitive?"

"Undecided about that I am. Perhaps to send the child away an option is not. Send another to live far away from me I do not think I can."

"I know." _It almost killed me when you sent Yace and Anakin away, even though Anakin wasn't my son._

Yoda picked up on that thought. Mace hadn't meant to send it, but their bond was so deep that one mind was practically the same as the other. _Sacrifices you have made,_ he sent, _and no more you should have to make. Speak of sending this child away we will not. Expect to keep him or her we will._

Mace groaned and rubbed his cheek against the top of Yoda's head. "I love you." He sat up. "Is that what was keeping you awake? Frustration that I hadn't figured out your secret?"

"Wish that was all it was I do. The Dark Force grows each day, and in too many sectors for the Jedi to save. No; concerned for the Republic I am, and seeking a solution I have been."

"Chancellor Valorum always listened to us, worked with us. Palpatine has been too long in power, and yet he manages to only half-listen to what we suggest."

"Noticed this I have." Yoda scowled. "Too long in power he has been. And yet, remove him we cannot. Support him we are supposed to, though support the Republic our real goal is. And the only problem he is not."

"The corruption in the Senate." Mace nodded. "We can't fix that alone. We need to win the Senators to our side. And how can we convince them of the danger they're leading us all towards?"

Yoda sighed. "When young I was, studied a culture I did that was taken, not from without, but from within. An athlete cannot be defeated from without, because he learns with each encounter, and stays strong in his own mind, even if he loses a race. But if he gives up, then he is defeated from within, though it seems as though outside events ended his career. Like that the Republic is becoming. And find a way to heal it from the inside we must before the illness too rampant to control is." He shifted, got up, called his gimmer stick to him. Leaning on it, he said, "Palpatine only part of the problem is, and go to him with this we should not. To others we will go: to young Bail Organa we will go, to young Amidala we will go as well. Others."

"Are you talking revolution, the Jedi taking direct control of the Republic?" Mace was shaking his head. _You can't mean that._

"Mean that I do not. Protectors we are, not politicians. But our concerns we must voice. A time will come when voice them before the entire Senate we must, but unless cultivate support in the beginning we do, shouted down, belittled our concerns will be."

Mace nodded, called Yoda back to him with a pleading look. When Yoda was securely in his arms again, Mace hugged him. "May the Force be with us, and with all Jedi."

"Yes." Yoda sent up a silent plea to the Force to watch for Obi-Wan especially.

"You think of him as another child of ours."

"You do not?"

"Not as you do, Yoda. Obi-Wan is something more than a youngling you raised."

"Yes. A support for Anakin he is, and a target of the Dark Force he is."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it." Mace turned Yoda so they were facing each other. His eyes shone with tenderness. "Please tell me. I won't berate you or judge you. Whatever it is you feel for Obi-Wan, you can share it with me."

"Hard to put into words it is, and troubling it is." Yoda closed his eyes for a moment, then met Mace's gaze. "As protect him Anakin wishes to, so do I. Put his safety above the will of the Force I will not, but still wish to protect him I do. Forget that I cannot, and set it aside I cannot. And protect him because he is Anakin's protector do I. Protect him because he is Obi-Wan I feel compelled to, because love him I do, like a child of ours, like I loved Ahleh." He held up a hand to stop Mace from speaking. "And let her go out on dangerous missions I did, and turn back time I would not if I could, because happy in the Force she was, and I would never take that from her. Just so, I would never stop Obi-Wan. But meet the same fate he might, and stop that I will not be able to. Follow the Force I must. And repeating myself I am. No answers can I find. But find them I must if my love for Obi-Wan a distraction is not to become. I must accept the will of the Force, or not. No middle ground there is."

"I have no easy answer for this, and I'm sure you already know that." Mace kissed Yoda's cheek, then his lips. "I can only say that I will be beside you, that I will remind you to stay within the Light Force. I don't love Obi-Wan as you do, but I know some of the worry you feel for him. It lives within my heart. All we can do is what we tell all Jedi to do: meditate and stay close to the Force." He kissed Yoda again. "Even you aren't expected to be perfect, Beautiful. You're only expected to do your best, as the rest do. Never forget that we're all here for you, as you are here for us." A final kiss, then he stood, carrying Yoda to the bed. "Don't forget that. Please. And don't forget that I love you, my love for you second only to my obedience to the Force." He paused, standing beside the bed and not wanting to set Yoda down just yet. "Don't give up on your love for Obi-Wan, and don't think it can't be. Just set it up as second to the Force in your heart."

"Third," Yoda answered, and kissed Mace with enough heat to make Mace's mind jump to other things than the current troubles around them.

oOo

Zee, alone in the room he'd been given, stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't meditate just then, and not only because he didn't want to draw attention to himself with the Light Force. It had been strange to see his father again, and in the jolly company of his grandfather. Tay'thal and the Grand Patriarch, Thel-aln, had made peace when Zee and Adee were still babies, but stories of the fight between the son and father were legendary in the Grand Patriarch's house. Even removed from Rept'thik as the grandsons had been, the stories still came, in the form of letters from home. Zee had read them, but not half so eagerly as Adee.

_I liked to hear about home, but the Temple was more a home to me, Yoda more of a father. Adee, sometimes, wasn't as excited about the letters as he could have been, especially when he first became a padawan and he was completely obsessed with following Ki-Adi-Mundi and doing exactly what his master told him._

Scores of years had passed since Ki-Adi-Mundi was Adee's master, and much had changed since then. _Too much,_ Zee thought. _Adee used to be filled with the Light Force, with passion for doing the right thing, with a love of all life. And then…_

_And then he started spending time with Count Dooku, at that time Knight Dooku, long before Dooku became Qui-Gon's master. Dooku's discontent, which didn't flower fully for many years, fired Adee's need to distinguish himself. He always wanted to stand out, be better than everyone else. And while that drove some to the Light Force, it drove him to 'new' ways of thinking._

Zee could still remember when his twin had, for the first time, talked about getting rid of unneeded emotions like lust not through meditation, but by spending a short, intense time, with each when it crept up.

_Obi-Wan was far from the first person Adee tried to rape, though he _was_ the first Jedi. Countless poor, male and female alike, of every race, fell to Adee's lust. He couldn't let any of them live after he'd raped them. If they learned he was a Jedi, the word might get around. Adee would never risk that. Being a Jedi, having that 'power', was as important to him as 'working through his feelings' by using them, enjoying them. And when he was appointed to the Jedi Council, he only got worse._

_Yes, worse, and I helped him. Am still helping him. Our parents may have been the ones to say that we were twins, but I am the one who allows the lie to persist. I struggled, for a time, with the notion that I might tell Yoda, but that's impossible now, especially after Adee attacked Obi-Wan. _Most of the Council members, and ninety-nine percent of the rest of the Temple were ignorant of Yoda's deep and abiding love for Obi-Wan, but Zee, always on the lookout for threats to his brother, noticed it.

_By the stars, when Adee- who'd been dreaming about Obi-Wan for years, ever since Obi-Wan came back from Telos marked- decided he was going to attack Obi-Wan during his final Trial, I almost confessed everything to Yoda then. _He stood, went to the window. His tail swung rapidly behind him. _But I thought the danger was passed, that he'd given up on Obi-Wan. And now it seems as if he has, and he hasn't gone after anyone for sexual or rage-purging reasons since then, but he's in something much deeper now._

Helping the Sith. His brother, his twin, the one person he'd protected above all others for sixty years, was preparing to break his ties with Jedi and descend completely into the Dark Force. _And nothing I say can convince him to come back._ If he was ever going to tell Yoda, shouldn't this be the time?

_I learned as a youngling not to hide things from myself or from Yoda. That only leads to deceitfulness and a break with the Light Force._

_Yes, and when I confess all, I'll have to confess that I've been keeping the yellow tint that all Sith eyes take on eventually from Adee's eyes. His eyes are already tinted yellow because of our species, but I kept anything extra- the redness- from showing. I've sent Light Force around him each morning for years, healing his eyes, holding the signs of darkness at bay._

Not all dark-force users had reddened eyes tinged with a bit of yellow; only Sith had this. And yet, Adee had been cursed with it. Zee's stomach still flipped and twisted each time he remembered seeing Adee's eyes change for the first time. _I was in a panic for two days. I had to retreat to my room and meditate for almost all that time to keep from running to Yoda and screaming that I was about to lose my brother to the Dark Force._

Adee hadn't gone completely bad, not right away, and so Zee had convinced himself that there was still time to save his brother.

_I convinced myself that some Dark Force users just got the yellow-eye symptom sooner than others. But now, to know that Adee has been in contact with the Sith Lord, no matter how remote that contact has been, speaks to this truth:_

_Sidious is cultivating a new apprentice to replace Darth Maul._

_My brother. A Sith Lord._

He had to tell Yoda. But he couldn't say anything while they were planetside. The communiqué might be intercepted. Or Adee might learn what Zee did and run.

_I won't lose him. If I can get to Yoda, confess everything, get Adee back at Temple, maybe there's still a chance he can be saved._

Zee returned to his bed, sat cross-legged thereon, his tail wrapped around himself, and prepared himself for meditation. _One thing is sure: I must get him out of here before the source of the Dark Force- whatever it is- finds him and draws him even further in._

oOo

Obi-Wan laid a hand on Thann-ella's arm. It was a testament to her trust that she allowed this. She even smiled when he did it and covered his hand with her own.

"_The Force, then, has two sides. One side allows us to communicate with the furries and to heal things. The other side causes destruction and sews mistrust." _She frowned. _"How can I know that you aren't just prejudiced against this other side? Can you show me this Dark Force, that I can see how dangerous it is?"_

"_I will neither demonstrate the Dark Force nor ever consider doing so."_

"_Because it is more powerful than your own Force?"_

"_Because the Dark Force separates us from the Light Force. And while the Light Force is omnipresent and all-knowing, the Dark Force draws only on what you yourself can do, what you believe in, and what you want for the future. The Dark Force can be wrong. The Light Force cannot. I have relied on the Light Force most of my life; I'm not planning to stop now, even for a demonstration."_

"_So you are never wrong?"_

Obi-Wan chuckled. _"I'm wrong often. But that's because sometimes I fail to listen to the Light Force, not because the Light Force Itself is wrong."_ He chuckled again. _"The strongest Jedi would be one who not only has a deep natural connection to the Light Force, but also has the humility to give over his or her own opinions to listen to what the Force has to say."_

"_Does it speak to you directly, with an actual voice?"_

"_Those are two different questions Every time I draw my lightsaber, the Light Force speaks to me, telling me where to thrust, where to parry, when to fight and when to retreat." _A flickering of shadow, felt instead of seen, distracted Obi-Wan and he held his hand up, forestalling any questions she might have.

Closing his eyes, he opened himself to the Light Force, asking.

For a moment, the shadow disappeared as though it had never been, and the Light Force insisted it _hadn't _been there at all. Obi-Wan still asked, still reached. The shadow returned, speaking of things he knew shouldn't be, but were: he wasn't alone in the room with Thann-ella, even though he was sure they'd been alone only a moment ago. And, more importantly, he knew the shadow he sensed. He'd felt it before. Where?

(garden)

_Where?_

(lengthening shadows of night, Qui-Gon waiting)

_ber'Nac._

_This, and all the missions Anakin and I have been on: have they been set up by him?_ Obi-Wan didn't believe that. The missions felt so much like Xanatos that they must either come from the man himself, or from someone who had studied his techniques thoroughly. _That doesn't preclude ber'Nac, but it makes it extremely unlikely that he was the mastermind behind many of our missions. He never knew Xanatos, and had no opportunity to break into Qui-Gon's few records about his former padawan. There's nowhere else he could have learned Xanatos's methods._

Yes, that was all true, but that didn't change the fact that ber'Nac was here now. With that thought driving him, Obi-Wan rose slowly and said to Thann-ella, "You and yours may be forced to leave this place. Do you have other safe houses?"

She raised an eyebrow ridge, but nodded, opened her mouth to speak.

"Keep the location to yourself. And guard your mind." His hand went to his lightsaber, though he didn't draw the weapon yet. He wished for a connection with her that he could form and simultaneously shield from others. _Nothing for it. I'll have to-_

But he wasn't ready to call Anakin. A fear, learned from Qui-Gon, kept him from calling to his padawan. He knew it was wrong; he knew that sure as he knew he needed air to breathe. He couldn't make himself call. _I don't want Anakin anywhere near him,_ flew across his mind, and he knew it was that day in the antechamber he was thinking of.

Obi-Wan called on the Force and stood ready.

It did him no good when three objects flew from different directions. Two of these he was able to cleave in half, but the third closed about his neck, clicked, locked. With that sound, Obi-Wan's connection to the Light Force disappeared.

The young Jedi refused to panic, even as he called himself an idiot for not reaching Anakin. Lightsaber still in hand, he sought the attackers, wondering why he hadn't sensed the other two.

They emerged, two Repticonns and ber'Nac. The ex-padawan grinned at Obi-Wan and, with a wave of his hand, attempted to call Obi-Wan's weapon to him. Prepared for this, the master didn't release it, but let the strength of the Dark Force at ber'Nac's command carry him, along with his lightsaber, through the air.

Caught off guard, ber'Nac stumbled back, allowing Obi-Wan to land on his feet and bright his lightsaber to bear. Obi-Wan slashed at him, less gracefully than he would if the Light Force had been directing his moves, but well enough. He was still comfortable within his body, though the loss of the Force made it feel as though he was missing a limb. His continued attacks forced ber'Nac to retreat more, and to call for the others to help him.

Obi-Wan didn't look at them; he could hear them coming. He didn't dare take his eyes off ber'Nac.

One of the Repticonns leapt, but was intercepted by Thann-ella, who hissed a word Obi-Wan was sure was a curse, even though he'd never heard it before. The one she'd blindsided fell, dead, with a knife in his throat.

The other was quicker, and he crashed into Obi-Wan, pushing something sharp into the Jedi's arm.

At once, Obi-Wan felt the darkness gathering at the edges of his vision. _Stars burn my pride._ He passed out, his lightsaber deactivated and still clutched in his hand.

oOo

ber'Nac got his remaining hired man moving, ordering him to pick up Obi-Wan. Thann-ella tried another Force-assisted throw, but ber'Nac deflected the blade, then shouted into the wristband he wore, "Now!"

The cavern began to shake at once, and Thann-ella found herself with the unenviable task of evacuating almost a hundred people. She didn't have the time or luxury to worry about one captured Jedi that she'd just met.

"Let's go." ber'Nac and the Repticonn, who carried Obi-Wan over one shoulder, hurried out the way they'd come. _And if nothing else will please Sidious, I've revealed the hold of the resistance on Rept'thick _(ber'Nac's bad spelling) _and captured Obi-Wan. What I do with the Jedi will ensure that he never troubles anyone again. And it isn't as if I promised I would kill him immediately._

He'd wondered, upon using the Dark Force to discover the concentration of Light Force radiating form Thann-ella's compound, why the Grand Patriarch hadn't just done that in the first place. It wasn't as if he couldn't have just used the Dark Force to avoid all the mines as well as to find his wayward offspring. At last, ber'Nac had realized that the ruler more than likely had a conflict of interests, wanting to regain control of his world completely, but not wanting to run the risk of killing his only daughter and only granddaughter. _That's just another reason the Dark Force should only belong to those with true ambition. Without ambition, the Dark Force is nothing but a plaything, and it's too great and perfect to be used for that._

Together, he and the hired gun jogged away from the rapidly-tumbling mountain of rock. ber'Nac had tried to call a furry to them earlier, but the creatures were just too stubborn. He'd given up and so they were on foot. _Wish I'd thought to bring a speeder._ _But then, _he reminded himself, _Calus told me not to. He must be laughing his ass off at the idea of me running everywhere. At least this is the last time I'll have to listen to him._

They made good time; the Jedi whore didn't wake up as they raced across a swampy valley; he slept on as they wound their way through a hundred trees, not sticking to any path. The Repticonn didn't complain about Obi-Wan's weight, and ber'Nac was grateful for that much. The two he'd chosen had looked quite strong, but you never could tell. Smiling to himself, he admitted that he had also been looking for two who were strong in the Force, but not exactly intelligent. This one was what he had left, and ber'Nac liked him just fine. _Of course, I'll only have to deal with him for another half hour or so. I don't need anyone present when I kill Obi-Wan. He'll be half-drugged still, and in the Force collar. I won't have any trouble disposing of him._

Nearing shelter now. ber'Nac cast about him with the Dark Force, found no one close, and ducked into the low, stone building. The innocuous building was only one room, and windows let light in on all sides. ber'Nac ignored the simple surroundings and went to one wall. Here he pushed a series of three stones, then turned to watch as the floor opened up, revealing a short flight of stairs. The sublevel wasn't much bigger than the house above, but it was well-furnished, well-lit by artificial light, and secret. No one would find them here. ber'Nac gestured for the big Repticonn to precede him. No use, even now, taking the chance that the big lummox might decide to take the Jedi with him for the reward money.

When Obi-Wan had been securely tied to the bed, spread-eagled of course, ber'Nac nodded at the Repticonn, paid him what he'd promised, and told him in no uncertain terms to get lost. "This is only the first death of many. But once he's dead, the others will follow in short order."

The Repticonn grunted, counted what he'd bee given, grunted again, and left.

ber'Nac signed and sat on the edge of the bed, running an appreciative hand over the muscles of Obi-Wan's torso. "Qui-Gon keeps you fit," he muttered, his fingers tracing the hard abdominal muscles and the pecs before him. Then, remembering that he could actually see what he was touching if he wanted to, ber'Nac took out a knife and cut away Obi-Wan's shirt and trousers, not stopping to admire each new bit of revealed skin until the Jedi lay naked before him. "Yes." His fingers pinched Obi-Wan's nipples until they were erect, and then his tongue followed his fingers. Nipples. Up to the throat, sucking there until he left a mark. Down again, to the juncture between Obi-Wan's neck and shoulder, then further still, licking and biting down to the real prize. Here he paused, smiling at Obi-Wan's unconscious form. _The question becomes: do I rape him here, now, while he's sleeping, or do I wait for him to wake up?_

That would have been an easier choice- no choice at all, really- if he'd managed to send Qui-Gon off on a wild goose chase. Simple fact was: Qui-Gon and the padawan with him had disappeared right after ber'Nac had fled. They were nowhere to be found. _You wouldn't think two humans among a race of xenophobes would have been hard to track, but it's like he vanished into thin air. The only thing I know for sure is that he's still planetside, because he would never leave his whore one place while he went another._

True, Obi-Wan had been without his keeper on many of the missions Xanatos had orchestrated, but that was out of necessity. Qui-Gon had surely been busy somewhere else. Now, with Obi-Wan so close, surely Qui-Gon wouldn't leave.

_That means my decision is made for me. I have to get what I want, now, and finish the whore off. _He scowled, hating to be rushed. _But how much worse would it be to be still waiting for him to wake up, and Qui-Gon shows up, maybe with that padawan of his? _Darth Sidious wouldn't like that at all. _I must remember that getting my pleasure is only a secondary concern. The real goal is to kill Obi-Wan and get Sidious to see what a talented apprentice I could be. _

Looking at Obi-Wan spread out before him like a feast, it was hard to remember that. To appease his appetite, ber'Nac ran his belt through its loops and pushed his trousers down. He slipped between the whore's legs.

oOo

The first shockwave hit as Anakin and Thay-alla were leaving the pool. She recognized it as an earthquake, but Anakin, opening his mind at once to the Force, felt the Dark Force echo that rode the crest of the shockwave. And, under that, an emptiness that came both from the Light Force and from the loss of a bond he was used to having.

He knew at once that the loss was more than Obi-Wan having his shields up. Even then, if Anakin reached out, he could feel his master, if only his presence in the Force. This- this was like Obi-Wan wasn't there.

_No. No. He can't be dead. I would have felt… _something_! I know I would have! _Reaching out further, he shouted into the Force, _Master! Obi-Wan, answer me! Master!_

Another shockwave came then, and Thay-alla grabbed his arm. "We have to get out of here before everything collapses!" She started away, dragging Anakin with her.

After a few stumble-steps, Anakin got his feet under him and ran beside her. Behind them, ton-weight stones began crashing into the pool. Anakin called the Force to bear around them, calling on it to protect them. This was merely training, programmed so deeply into his brain that he could have done little else. His mind still rang with that negation, with the need to feel Obi-Wan again.

_Obi-Wan, answer me! _He felt tears coming as his mind made the leap- no answer, no master- but he held them back as best he could. _Whoever did it, I'll kill them. I swear I'll kill them._

Then he and Thay-alla were outside, and Anakin spotted Thann-ella. He sprinted towards her, faster than her own daughter, and seized her arm. "Where's Obi-Wan?"

She pulled back from him, more out of shock, he thought, than because she didn't want him touching her. "Three attackers found their way into the compound. Two were Repticonns, one human. The human and one of the Repticonns took Obi-Wan." She sighed. "Obi-Wan wore this collar when they took him. I don't know what it was."

_A Force-collar? What else could it be? _But Anakin wasn't quite ready to take that comforting news. If it was only a Force collar, it could be removed. But if it was something else- a paralysis collar, such as he'd seen used on Tatooine, sometimes the injection from the collar was too strong. He'd seen it kill his aunt and one of his close friends. "Which way did they go?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I had to get all of my people out. Oh, but the human kicked this out of your master's hand after he passed out." Turning away, she drew Thay-alla against her and kissed her brow. "You're safe."

Anakin held the lightsaber close for a moment, then clipped it to his own belt. He glared at the two Repticonns. They were ignoring him. _Looks like I'm on my own. _He stalked away. _I could call Qui-Gon for help._ His hand went to the communicator at his belt, but then he stopped. _He's too far away. And he said to keep communications to a minimum. Even if he was talking about Force-assisted communication, he probably meant for us to maintain technological silence, too._

For a moment, as he jogged away and reached out to the Force, searching for a trail to follow, he wondered if he could possibly find Obi-Wan on his own. Then he picked up a Force-echo that he recognized immediately. Anakin prided himself on never forgetting a feeling, and so when the Force-echo touched his mind, he made the connection instantly: _ber'Nac. _Fear clawed up his throat, threatening to strangle or at least distract him. _He raped Master Obi last time. More: he made Master Obi paralyzed for days. _Anakin balled his hands into fists. _I won't let that happen. Not to my Obi._

His heart began to beat fast as a bird's, and Anakin thought, _Sith! I can't charge in like this. I can't even think._ Images of Obi-Wan, bleeding, dying, dead, raced around in his mind. He was old enough to know he couldn't go on that way and expect to win.

Stopping, even though that was the last thing he wanted to do, he descended into the half-meditation Obi-Wan had taught him, collected himself, and then started off again. ber'Nac's trail was suddenly more than an echo: it was a blazing line that Anakin could follow as easily as a hallway. He picked up speed, sprinting all-out now.

_I'm coming, Master Obi. Hang on. Just hang on._

oOo

A continent away, Qui-Gon felt ber'Nac shove his way inside Obi-Wan, even though Obi-Wan had been cut off from the Force. The Jedi Master didn't feel that separation in itself because his lover had his shields up before, but he felt the echo of the penetration- the Light Force itself crying out against the injustice.

Qui-Gon gasped, one hand dropping to his lightsaber, and the furry under him shied and tried to bolt. The master couldn't have stopped it, not with the outraged scream of the Light Force in his ears, but Ferus reached over and calmed the furry, then guided both animals to the shelter of some trees. He and Qui-Gon had arrived on Thh'el ten minutes ago, but though the air was a little cooler, it wasn't what Ferus would call cold. The trees would be enough shelter from the wind. With a graceful movement, Ferus descended from his mount and drew Qui-Gon from his own before the furry could take it into its mind to shy again.

"Master?" Ferus grasped Qui-Gon's shoulder as the Jedi staggered. "Master, what is it?" On the heels of that, seeing his master's face fully, "Has something happened to Obi-Wan?"

Qui-Gon groaned, shook his head. His one had drifted down to his backside, hovering there like a frightened bird.

_He's being raped, _Ferus thought, and shivered. _By who? By the source of the Dark Force? _He wondered if he should reach out to the Force, remembered again that they were supposed to be keeping a low profile.

_Screw that. Obi-Wan needs us._ He called the Light Force to him, asking it to fill Qui-Gon and calm him, and also asking where Obi-Wan was. To the first question, he received immediate attention from the Force; it encircled them both, and Qui-Gon's breathing began to slow at once. But to the second, he received only an echo of where Obi-Wan had been twenty or so minutes ago. He'd left his last Force footprint there, then… emptiness.

"Is he dead?" Ferus whispered. He'd never sought someone in the Force and not found them.

"No." Qui-Gon shook his head, more to clear it than to show negation. "If someone dies in the Force, two things happen: just before they die, their shields almost always go down. Failing that, the Force in that place is disturbed for a time, sometimes hours, more often days, especially when a Jedi dies." The older man closed his eyes, and Ferus sensed that he was both calling out to the Force for news of Obi-Wan, and for strength. The padawan waited.

"I can't be sure, but the disturbance in the Force speaks of an abrupt break between Obi-Wan and the Light Force. My guess would be a Force collar."

"Do the Repticonns have that sort of technology?"

"No, but I'm beginning to think that, despite their reputation, the Repticonns are innocent of the Dark Force around them." He took another moment to steady himself, then leapt to the furry's back. "We're going back."

"Yes, Master." Ferus mounted and they started back the way they'd come at once. "Should we try to reach Anakin?"

"A good thought, Padawan mine." Qui-Gon's eyes were narrowed on the horizon as if staring at it could bring them to it more quickly. "Will you do the honors? Secrecy's out from now on."

Ferus unbuckled his communicator from his belt.

"Oh, and Padawan mine, keep calm. Anakin may be upset, especially if he thinks Obi-Wan is dead."

Ferus flicked the communicator on. "Ferus to Anakin."

A crackle of static, then Anakin's voice emerged from the box. The other padawan's breath came in soft puffs. He was running. "What?"

"Master Obi-Wan is still alive. Qui-Gon believes it was a Force-collar that cut him off from the Force."

"Probably." Anakin managed to sound relieved and worried with the same word. "It's ber'Nac. Tell Qui-Gon it's ber'Nac. He's here and-"

"We saw him," Ferus answered. "He was in T'thel's palace. We're not sure if he was working with T'thel or not."

"He was working with some Repticonns because two were with him when he attacked Thann-ella's compound."

"Who is Thann-ella?" Qui-Gon asked, keeping his furry close enough to Ferus's so he could hear.

"The Grand Patriarch's daughter. Her daughter found Obi and me and took us to her about two hours ago."

Ferus saw Qui-Gon's eyebrows climb, but didn't understand why.

"I'm following ber'Nac's trail. It's fresh. I'll find Obi. I promise."

"We're on our way to help you," Qui-Gon answered. "Don't take on ber'Nac alone."

No answer.

"Anakin? Did you hear me?"

"Yes, Master."

"Stay away until we get there."

"I can't! What if he-"

"He's already raping Obi-Wan; you can't stop that. _Wait for us._"

Another long pause. "Yes, Master."

"Good. We'll contact you again when we hit land."

Ferus switched off the communicator. "Do you think he'll wait, Master?"

"Since Anakin is more like me than like Obi-Wan, and even Obi-Wan would probably disobey a direct order like that?" Qui-Gon wiped sweat out of his eyes. "No. I just hope he's careful. And I hope Obi-Wan will be strong enough later to punish him for his foolishness."

oOo

Obi-Wan came back to himself with his lower body on fire and a terrible emptiness in his body. Even before he opened his eyes or tried to figure out whom or what was hurting him, he thought, _I've been cut off from the Force. That's the emptiness I feel. The collar can be removed, but not by me. So until I escape from here, I'll have to rely on my other strengths._

Fire raced up from his entrance to his chest, blossoming there. Obi-Wan sucked in a breath and let his eyes open on their own. Above him, still mostly clothed, ber'Nac was riding him as if this would be his last chance.

_It might be, if Qui-Gon shows up, or if ber'Nac has orders to kill me. _Obi-Wan knew nothing of the orders Calus, ber'Nac and Adee were privy to, but he wasn't a fool. _Surely that's the main goal: kill me, get me out of the way, never mind the reason why._ He smiled inwardly even as fresh pain crackled up his spine. _Lucky for me, ber'Nac decided that he needed to relive some old memories first._

"Like it? Do you like it, Whore?"

_It's like the last five years never happened. He's just the same. _Obi-Wan reached back to his first feeling of ber'Nac back at the compound. _He felt just the same as when he was at Temple. He hasn't grown any more, either in the Dark Force or back towards the Light Force. _That was good news; Obi-Wan's connection to the Force had grown in the time between, though mostly he'd only learned how to listen more acutely.

_And listening won't help us n-_

Agony, so hot it made Obi-Wan cry out softly, lit his body, and Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes tight shut against it. _Is he bigger? Is his- bigger?_

Just behind that: _I'm lucky he decided to take me before killing me, but how am I going to use the time I've been given? If I don't act soon, I won't be able to walk, let alone fight._

First things first. Obi-Wan opened his eyes a crack, scanning the room. They were alone. _All right._ He surreptitiously checked his bonds; ber'Nac's eyes were shut as he drove harder and harder into Obi-Wan, but the Jedi would take no chances. He'd been chained. No chance of breaking them without the Force.

_And the Force is the one thing I can't get to right now._ Hopelessness and frustration rose in his mind. _How can I use his distraction to my advantage when I can't move and can't access the Force? I doubt he's in a talking mood._

_The Force is everywhere._

The voice wasn't completely Obi-Wan's, but he didn't know where it came from. And, as his body reported that he was seemingly being raped by a lightsaber set on low burn, he didn't care. _Yes, everywhere. Except I can't _get_ to it. Why does it always have to be rape? What does the Dark Force think? I'll die from rape? _He knew it could happen, but surely ber'Nac didn't have that kind of time to play with.

_The Force is in everything._

_I don't need the lesson right now. I know where the Force is: inaccessible to me._

The voice in his mind was deafening; he couldn't hear anything from the outside world. _THE…**FORCE**…IS…EVERYWHERE/EVERYTHING._

Shaken, convinced now that this wasn't just his body trying, in some insane way, to distract him from the humiliation and agony he was being subjected to, Obi-Wan didn't answer right away. He let the words come inside him, not just on the surface of his mind, but deep and deeper. Sinking, diffusing, speaking to him of more than words he knew to be true-

_The Force is everywhere, in everything. Then the Force is in me. _Inme_, and not just something I call from the outside. The Light Force is still in me, despite the Force collar. And if the Force is still in me, I can call on it. _Obi-Wan didn't waste time telling himself what an idiot he was; he reached inwards.

The Light Force bloomed in his mind almost at once, and just like that, he had a way to deal with the pain. And he understood, at last, why it hurt so badly. ber'Nac wasn't just raping him, flesh to flesh: he was raping Obi-Wan with the Dark Force. The power, a strange sort of transferable, invisible Force lightning, was passing from assailant to victim.

_I guess my analogy of being raped with a lightsaber wasn't too far off. _Obi-Wan called the Light Force more tightly around him, wondering if ber'Nac could sense it. _I don't care if he can; this is a comfort I thought I wouldn't have._

A breath, and then, _What good is comfort to a Jedi? We are the guardians of the Republic; we don't seek comfort, but give it. So how can I use this new discovery to its best advantage? _He thought about the thing around his neck, keeping him from connecting to the Force out there.

_Force collars can only be broken by the Force, from the outside._

_No. Strictly speaking, Force collars can only be broken by the Force. So if I can connect to the Light Force now, why can't I break the collar from the inside?_

_Impossible. If that could be done, Qui-Gon would have done it all those years ago on Telos. _Waves of Dark Force were beating against him now, lapping at the edges of his mind like acid. Obi-Wan sobbed, unaware that he'd made any noise.

_Qui-Gon isn't perfect, wasn't perfect back then, either. It's possible he didn't think of it. And besides, he did break the collar, after a while. Maybe all that time he was trying to break the collar with the Light Force. It might take awhile. _Mentally, he squared his shoulders. _Nothing is impossible where the Force dwells, and the Force is everywhere._

More pain. Tearing, rending, screaming at him, pulling at his thoughts and seeking to cast them about like chaff. Obi-Wan retreated further into his mind and called on the Light Force. At once, it was around him, strong and sure, humming with life.

_Help me. Help me open the collar. _Sinking into half-meditation (the pain wouldn't let him go further) Obi-Wan envisioned the collar in his mind, not as the two halves of the Force, Light and Dark, but as Living and Unifying Force. He looked to each of them. _You are one, but please, step back. _A tremor in the Light Force. _Yes. Like that. Again._

oOo

Anakin knelt in the middle of the one-room hut, his hands on the floor. The Dark Force pulsed through the stone, and Anakin had to resist the urge to draw back into his mind and fortify his shields. This was where ber'Nac's Force-echo had led him; he was here to make sure his following hadn't been in vain. He had stopped reaching out for his master; Obi-Wan, wherever he was, was disconnected from the Light Force completely, and Anakin knew he couldn't reforge the bond at a distance. _I'll have to see him, maybe touch him, to bring him back. _He sent continual prayers to the Force that Obi-Wan would be able to walk out of here, would be able to speak and reach out in return.

Anakin searched for the way to open the floor. He'd already given up using the Light Force; this was a mechanism. _If nothing else, I can cut my way through. But if I can get in without setting off an alarm, so much the better. _Frowning, he stood and paced the small space, his eyes trained on the walls. At last, the Force nudged him towards the eastern brick wall. He stood in front of it, not seeing anything that looked remotely like a switch. _Where is it? Where is it? I need to get to him! I need to save him! If ber'Nac's killing him-_

_Stop. _Obi-Wan's voice, not remembered, and not received from outside, but still Obi-Wan's voice, as if his master was standing right beside him. _Use the Force. It helped you follow the trail here; it can help you in smaller things, too._

Taking a deep breath, Anakin exhaled his sense of urgency. _Yes. The Force can help with something like this. _He looked at the stones again, and this time, he saw the pattern ber'Nac had pressed. Each Force-fingerprint was a different density of Dark Force concentration, showing in what order the bricks had been pushed. Freeing his lightsaber from his belt, Anakin pushed the bricks in sequence. Behind him, the floor opened up.

_Put your weapon away. _A mix of Obi-Wan's voice and the voice of the Force as Anakin had heard it when he was nine.

Anakin obeyed, then crouched at the top of the stairs, peering down.

The room below was as lavishly appointed as the one above was bare. A bed stood to the right of the stairs. Anakin longed to scream when he saw his master tied there. ber'Nac, looking older than Anakin remembered, stood by the bed. He was holding an activated lightsaber just above Obi-Wan's neck. The ex-padawan looked weaker, too, but Anakin couldn't be sure if that was just his imagination.

"Come down, Boy. I don't plan to stand here all day. If you have something to trade for this Jedi's life, I suggest you come down now. If you have nothing to trade, go away and let me do my job."

Anakin showed his hands, glad he wasn't wearing his Jedi robes. Did ber'Nac recognize him? He'd changed a lot since they'd last met. _And yet, if I recognize him, he may know me. Or maybe he knows Obi-Wan brought his padawan with him. Best not to commit to anything until I know what's going on. _He started down the steps.

Standing at the foot of the staircase, Anakin wondered if it would have been wiser to have stayed where he was. From the top of the stairs, he'd only been able to see his master's chest. Now he could see… everything. And his eyes were drawn, despite the danger, to Obi-Wan's sex. He flushed and shivered at the same time, feeling blood rush to all the wrong places.

"You're here for him?" ber'Nac asked, gesturing at Obi-Wan.

Anakin shook his head. _Force, help me._ "I'm here because Master Qui-Gon sent me." _Idiot! Do you think that will make him trust you? _Except his mouth wasn't really his own anymore.

ber'Nac laughed. "For him."

"No. For you. We thought Obi-Wan was back on Coruscant. He isn't supposed to be here."

"And what does Qui-Gon want with me? To bring me to justice?" He moved the lightsaber a fraction of an inch away from Obi-Wan's neck.

"He wants you to give him an in with the Sith. He's leaving the Jedi Order. His last trip was going to be back to Coruscant to throw his lightsaber at Yoda and pick up his other whore." Anakin ducked his head, not trying to stop the blush. _This is coming from the Light Force; I can feel it. But I don't know where it's going. And I wish it would hurry up and tell me what I'm doing besides spouting lies that are only going to get Obi and me in deeper trouble. _His eyes flicked to the lightsaber ber'Nac held and he consented that Obi-Wan couldn't be in much more danger. His eyes flicked down again, then back up to ber'Nac's face.

" 'Other whore?' What do you mean by that?"

"Obi-Wan serves him, and so do Ferus and I. Obi-Wan promised to give up being a Jedi- he's not a very good one anyway- to follow Qui-Gon to the Dark side. Ferus and I were never Jedi." _Now I've done it. If he recognizes me, we're lost._

A soft clicking sound drew Anakin's attention, but he didn't look towards it. Instead, he used all his concentration to keep ber'Nac focused on him. _Don't look around. Just at me. Just me._

"And why exactly does Qui-Gon want to leave?"

"To follow his master, Count Dooku. Dooku was right; the Republic is corrupt. It's going to eat itself from the inside out pretty soon. Within my lifetime. Probably within my master's if he gives it some help. And the best way to do that is to help the Sith. My master doesn't want darkness to rule the galaxy, but he knows that if he helps Lord Sidious, Lord Sidious will help him. Master Qui-Gon agrees to trade his knowledge of the Jedi for a chance at killing the Supreme Chancellor and becoming the leader- king, probably- of the fallen Republic." _That's it. I've lost my wits._

Another series of clicks; Anakin thought there were four of them. Still, he didn't risk a look at Obi-Wan. _How can ber'Nac not hear that?_

_Because you're hearing it in the Force. There's no actual sound. Padawan mine._

Anakin almost screamed with joy as Obi-Wan's warm thoughts filled his mind. He didn't think he would have been able to manage a straight face and level tone if the Light Force hadn't wrapped itself around him and renewed its hold on his tongue. "Please, will you agree to meet my master? You can use Obi-Wan as your bargaining chip. Master Qui-Gon would rather anything than lose Obi-Wan." A note of bitterness entered his tone. _What's that? Why do I sound like that?_

_Because if Qui-Gon cares more about me than anyone, he doesn't care about you._ Obi-Wan sounded both embarrassed and amused. _Go with this. I'll be ready to move in a moment._

ber'Nac scowled, then nodded. "All right. But he'll have to come here. I'm not moving my whore."

"He's my master's," Anakin answered, "but I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing. Obi-Wan can be a whiny baby sometimes."

ber'Nac laughed, and hard. His grip on the lightsaber was as loose as it was going to get. Anakin reached out for it, but before he could so much as touch the weapon with a hand of the Light Force, the lightsaber was in Obi-Wan's hand and the master was out of the bed. He rolled, his feet hit the floor- and his legs crumpled under him. He managed to catch hold of the edge of the bed. A pained grunt escaped his lips.

It was then that Anakin saw the blood on the bed. He had time for one shocked thought- _Master Obi is far from a virgin; he shouldn't be bleeding- _before his anger took over and the two lightsabers were in his hands.

_No, Anakin! _Obi-Wan shouted through their bond, though only another grunt escaped his lips. _Anakin, use the Light Force!_

ber'Nac, with the help of the Dark Force, called the lightsaber from Obi-Wan's weakened grasp and dove at the master, slicing at his head.

Anakin flew across the intervening space on a wave of the Force. He embedded both lightsabers hilt-deep in ber'Nac's back.

oOo

From far enough away that he could remained concealed, Xanatos experienced ber'Nac's death and laughed. "Well, young Jedi, you saved me one messy killing. If I can convince you to do the other- not Obi-Wan; you're not ready for that, yet- I'll never have to stir from this place." He sent more Dark Force out into the surrounding air. "Take that, Qui-Gon. Just like you've used people as pawns, I'm using your lover's padawan. You should recognize the pattern. And if you don't know it's me yet, you will soon."


	22. Hopelessness

**Author's Note:** This chapter took a different turn than I thought it would, but here it is. Don't worry; the story's far from over.

Hopelessness

If the Dark Force could laugh- and Obi-Wan had been in close enough contact with it to think this more than likely- it did so now, an exultant shriek of unrepressed glee as it gained another convert.

_No, _Obi-Wan thought as he struggled to remain on his knees even as ber'Nac fell beside him. The smell of roasted flesh perfumed the air. _You can't have Anakin. He's the Chosen One. But forget that; I don't care about that. He's _my_ padawan. I won't let you have him._

His head was bowed, and he struggled to raise it, ignoring the pain, ignoring the feeling that the Dark Force had burned him so badly he'd never be healed. The young master forced his voice steady. "Anakin, please listen to me. Put the lightsabers down. Close your eyes. Feel the Light Force around you." He sent a wave his padawan's way, praying Anakin would catch it, send it back. _Please send it back._

There was a pause, then the wave came back, flavored with a great deal of shock, which was all right with Obi-Wan, but the wave also held more than a little rage.

_Padawan mine?_

_Master?_ Anakin deactivated both sabers, clipping one to his belt and laying the other on the bed where Obi-Wan could reach it.

Obi-Wan saw the boy's gaze flick to the blood on the sheets. "I'm all right, Padawan mine. It hurt- I won't deny that- but I'm fine." A need, fierce and powerful as an ocean, rose in his mind then, and, unable to hide it, and also refusing to lie, even if it would protect Anakin in the short term, he added, "You can probably feel how much I want Qui-Gon here." He wanted to reach out, wanted to touch Anakin's hand. He didn't dare. If he shifted his weight even a little, he was sure he'd lose his balance. "But to know you're here is a comfort, too."

Anakin moved around the bed, kneeling at Obi-Wan's side, putting Obi-Wan's arm around his shoulders. "Can you stand, Master?"

"Not just yet. The Light Force is helping me, but I'm not quite strong enough."

"You shouldn't talk. Rest."

"Your healing is more important than my need for sleep at the moment." With difficulty, he turned his head so he could meet Anakin's eyes. "And I don't think I could sleep, knowing what just happened."

Anakin reddened. "I didn't mean to, Master. I didn't mean to get angry." But the rage was still behind his words, and his voice trembled with it.

"Seeing what he did to me… Is that what brought your anger?" A trick question, if such things existed among the Jedi, and one that would help him judge how carefully to ease Anakin along the path to recovery.

"Yes! He raped you! He made you bleed!"

_I'll have to be very careful._

"Master?"

_Here it comes. Careful, Jedi. Careful._ "Yes, Padawan mine?"

"Why were you bleeding? I mean…" A deep blush. "You're not a virgin. You can't be. And… I heard that only women bleed when they're taken for the first time."

Obi-Wan sent, _Honesty is always best, yes?_

_Yes…_

_But honesty comes with a price for each of us. For me, I must admit a new weakness. For you, I must ask you to remain calm._

_I'll do my best, Master._

Sensing the struggle within his padawan, the master sent, _Thank you for being honest with me, and with yourself. Anakin, I bled because ber'Nac didn't just rape me skin to skin, but with the Dark Force. He used an invisible form of Force lightning to… burn me on the inside._ He waited, and when Anakin's rage didn't swell. he continued. _The Light Force is still within me, as I'm sure you can sense, but it is being blurred by the Dark Force. That translates to a decreased ability to feel the Light Force within me and in the world around me. To do either of these takes a great deal of concentration._

He sent a wave of the Light Force to Anakin. This time, it was caught and sent back at once, tempered with fear as well as anger, but less of the latter.

_Anakin, Padawan mine, I love you, and I don't want to lose you to the Dark Force. Can you feel the Dark Force here?_

_It's in you, Master, but not in your mind or thoughts. And it's… _Anakin swallowed. _It's around me. Is it in me?_

_It's trying to be. Please, Padawan, fight it with truth, with peace, with the Light Force._ A wave of dizziness and exhaustion rushed through him, and Anakin's grip on his shoulders tightened.

_Obi, you need to rest. How do I help you?_

_I need the Light Force around me, Anakin. It's the only thing that's going to keep me conscious. _If this had been anything but unfeigned truth, Obi-Wan wouldn't have spoken it. It sounded like a lure, like he was dragging Anakin back to the Light Force through subterfuge. As it was, Anakin would be able to feel that his master truly needed all he was asking. _I need you to fill yourself, and the air, with the Light Force._

_Until I get rid of all the anger in me, should I seal myself off?_

_No. I need another Jedi near me, connected to me. _Obi-Wan closed his eyes as fatigue raced through him again, sapping every last bit of energy. His legs gave out completely, and he sagged to the floor, resting his cheek against Anakin's chest as his padawan tried to take him into his lap. _Anakin… It's all right. You don't have to hold me._

A wave of Light Force, easily as strong as the crest of Dark Force Anakin had ridden to get to him earlier, lifted Obi-Wan onto the bed, pulling the blankets down, which ber'Nac hadn't bothered to do, and slipping Obi-Wan between them. _I've got you. I let go of the anger._

Obi-Wan could feel the truth of that. _I'm proud of you. _His eyes closed, and he lay very still, trying to keep his connection to Anakin, but it was weakening moment by moment. True, the Force Anakin sent was sustaining him, but Obi-Wan suspected that it was sustaining his life, not his consciousness. He did his best to keep this from his padawan.

Nothing could be hidden. "You won't die, Obi. I won't let you."

_If it is the will of the Force… _Then, hopefully in his own mind, though he couldn't be sure if Anakin heard it anyway: _I don't want to go yet. Don't take me. Please._

_The Force doesn't want you to die. You're supposed to live. You can't die here. _Anakin lay down beside his master, on top of the covers. He cradled Obi-Wan against him, wrapping him in an even stronger wave of the Light Force, turning the wave into a blanket, a cocoon. In a voice low and gentle and warm, Anakin said, "Thank you for saving me. You kept me from going to the Dark Side." He shivered a little. "I felt powerful when the Dark Force was in me, but…" He sent the mix of his feelings to his master.

"But you could also feel that the Light Force was calling you, that the Light Force surrounds the Dark Force, and is therefore stronger. Remember-" his voice was fading, scarcely above a whisper now- "that the Dark Force comes from within, that you only have strength in it as long as you're strong. The Light Force comes from everywhere, strengthens you when you have nothing left yourself." He breathed for a moment. "Stay in the Light Force, Padawan mine, and someday you will be as patient, strong, wise and powerful as Yoda. You are the Chosen One, and when it is time to fulfill your destiny, the Light Force will sing in you." He groaned softly as exhaustion tightened its grip. "Through you, the Light Force will work a miracle." He smiled, even as the line between sleep and the waking world blurred. "I will be there to see it, Force willing. What a reward, to see the Chosennn wwwuuunnninnnn…" He slept.

oOo

When Obi-Wan slipped into unconsciousness, panic rose in Anakin's mind. He dispelled it, telling himself that he needed to protect Obi-Wan, and the only way to do that was to let go of every negative emotion. The Dark Force tried to tell him how hard that was going to be. Anakin laughed at it. _Anything is possible in the Light Force. And taking care of Obi is more important than listening to myself. _He sent another wrap of Light Force around his master, then closed his eyes and hugged his master to him. Listening to his master's heartbeat calmed him, reassured him that Obi-Wan was still alive. _I'm here, Obi. Don't give up. I'm here._

A ripple in the Light Force made him sit up, then stand, placing himself between Obi-Wan and whatever might come down the stairs. Even though it was the Light Force, Anakin didn't trust anyone he couldn't see.

A figure appeared at the top of the stairs, and Anakin relaxed. A little.

Qui-Gon Force-leapt to the floor below, and was at Obi-Wan's side in an instant. He didn't even glance at Anakin as he took his lover's vitals.

Ferus jogged down the stairs. Him Anakin wouldn't allow too close, and he moved so he barred the other padawan's way. He folded his arms across his chest to keep his hand away from his lightsaber. "He's going to be fine. And he's not weak. You'd be unconscious too if you were raped with invisible Force lightning."

Qui-Gon's head jerked up. Even though he wasn't looking, Anakin knew this was so. "Is that what you felt?"

"No. Master Obi-Wan told me. Then he needed to rest." _I don't think I should have told them about that. At least, I shouldn't have said it in front of Ferus. But I won't let him hate Obi, won't let him think Obi's weak. Obi is strong in ways he'll never be._ Again, sensing his anger rising, he released it. _I won't hold onto the anger, Obi. All you're going to feel from me is peace. _In his heart, he knew to stay at peace always would be a miracle. _But Obi said I'll do a miracle someday, a big one. Well, right now, I'm doing a little one. And I'm going to keep doing it. There's going to be so much Light Force around Obi that the Dark Force won't stand a chance. I'll never let the Dark Force hurt him again._

Ferus asked, "Who killed him?" nodding towards ber'Nac, who was just visible over Anakin's shoulder.

_Jedi don't lie. It becomes a habit that's hard to break. And it can lead to other emotions- like frustration as you try to remember what lie you told to who- that can separate you from the Light Force._

Obi-Wan's words, spoken when his padawan was still nine years old. Anakin swallowed. _I've got to tell the truth. Lies will separate me from Obi. _"I did. I was angry when I saw the blood." He turned, looking again at the spot on the blanket that now rested on top of Obi-Wan. "I'm not angry anymore." He endured Qui-Gon reaching through the Force to check the validity of that statement. "Master Obi-Wan needs the Light Force around him. That's what he told me."

"He's right," Qui-Gon answered. "And he's going to need Jedi blood when he wakes up." The older master sat on the edge of the bed and brought Obi-Wan's hand into his lap. "How much can you tell me of what happened?"

Anakin went to Obi-Wan's other side, sat as Qui-Gon had, and held Obi-Wan's hand, resisting the urge to draw it to his lips. "Thay-alla, Thann-ella's daughter, took me on a tour of the compound. Master Obi-Wan wanted me to get another perspective, I think, and he probably also wanted to appear less threatening to Thann-ella."

"I don't want speculations, Padawan. I want only what you know. Obi-Wan sent you out with Thay-alla. What happened next?"

Did Qui-Gon want to know that Anakin had tried to convince the daughter of the goodness of the Republic? Probably not. "Thay-alla and I had been talking for a little while when a shockwave, both physical and in the Force, hit us. The compound was being demolished by explosives. The shockwave I felt in the Force was when O- Master Obi-Wan was cut off from the Light Force."

"You said you thought it was probably a Force collar that cut Obi-Wan off from the Force. How did you know that?"

"Thann-ella told me she'd seen a collar around his neck when he was taken by a Repticonn and a human."

"Where is the Repticonn?"

"I don't know. It was just Obi- Master Obi-Wan and ber'Nac when I got here."

Qui-Gon was frowning deeply, and his eyes were narrowed.

Anakin looked down at Obi-Wan to slow his racing, traitorous tongue. _I keep saying his name without his title. That's fine when it's just us, but it's not just us here. I don't want anyone to think I don't respect him, that I don't admire him, that I don't listen to him. _A restless energy had filled him, but he made himself sit still. Even as the need grew, he sat without moving, only hoping Qui-Gon would decide they could move soon before his restlessness got to be too much for him. He called every one of Obi-Wan's lessons to bear. _Please, Obi, wake up. I need you._

"Anything else to report?" Qui-Gon asked. He was chaffing Obi-Wan's hand, and deep lines of worry were cutting their way into his face.

"No. Master."

"What was ber'Nac doing when you killed him?"

"He was threatening Master Obi-Wan with his lightsaber. His lightsaber isn't red, by the way."

Qui-Gon frowned. "You ran a great risk. ber'Nac could have killed Obi-Wan while you were getting ready to attack him."

"It wasn't a risk. Master Obi-Wan was awake, and he opened the Force collar."

Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed. "He opened the collar? By himself? Are you sure ber'Nac didn't do it?"

"Why would ber'Nac do it? Master."

"Obi-Wan couldn't have done it on his own." Qui-Gon's eyes had darkened, and he rubbed Obi-Wan's hand faster.

_Why not? Are you starting to believe the lie that Obi-Wan is too weak to do many things?_ "He did. One minute, he was cut off from the Force, the next minute, he spoke to me in my mind."

"Anakin, a Force-collar can only be opened from the outside, unless the person in the Force collar uses the Dark Force to open it. And I refuse to believe that Obi-Wan used the Dark Force." Qui-Gon's communicator buzzed, and the master drew it out. "Qui-Gon. Go ahead."

"This is Zee. Have you found Obi-Wan?"

Qui-Gon blinked. "Yes. He's fine. How did you know I was looking for him?"

"My aunt came here to the Grand Patriarch's palace. She wasn't received well."

Anakin heard how shaken the master sounded, and he sensed a complicated story behind Zee's words. _She went to her father? I thought they were at war._

…_She was… planning to…to talk to him._

Anakin squeezed Obi-Wan's hand and lifted it to just under his chin. "Obi?" _Can you hear me?_

_Yes, Padawan mine. _A pause; Anakin sensed Obi-Wan gathering his strength. _Thann-ella has great- _a wave of dizziness- _great courage._

_Rest, Master. You'll be all right if you just-_

_Obi. Obi mine?_ A soft beep signaled that Qui-Gon had shut off the communicator.

_Qui-Gon. _Relief. So strong. _I'm all right. Just tired._

_You're not all right. ber'Nac- _His words dissolved in anger.

Anakin blinked to feel the older master's rage through the connection he still held with Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon's fury was so bright it outshone Anakin's earlier anger. _Stop,_ Anakin sent. _Obi-Wan needs just the Light Force._

At the same moment, Obi-Wan flinched. _Qui-Gon, I'm all right. Don't be angry at him. It's-_

Annoyance. _A path to the Dark Side. I know. Don't lecture me._

_Then act like you don't need the lecture and calm yourself. _Obi-Wan sighed, recollected himself. _I don't have the strength for that discussion. _He lay still, just breathing, for a full minute, and neither Anakin or Qui-Gon interrupted him. Anakin sensed Ferus come to stand at the foot of the bed. For the moment, Anakin wasn't worried about Ferus.

Obi-Wan spoke, and though his voice was soft, Anakin realized that it took less energy for his master to speak than for him to send his thoughts through the Force. Anakin swallowed. For any Jedi, it should have been the other way. Anakin's stomach shrank.

"Thel-aln has dabbled in the Dark Force from time to time, but he doesn't understand the fire he's playing with. Thann-ella wants to speak with him, to tell him about the benefits of the Light Force. I told her if she wanted me there, I'd be there. That was her wish, but I suppose now that I'm here, she went on her own. She has great courage. But she's going to need Jedi with her to help convince Thel-aln. You'll have to call Master Zee and make sure he knows. He needs to be there to help her."

He sighed, was silent again for another minute or two, then said, "This world can be saved from the Dark Force. The source of the darkness that was sensed here comes not just from the family's dabbling, though. And not just from ber'Nac. There's someone else here. I sensed him as Thann-ella and I talked, like a cloud over the sun."

"How did you sense him? I felt nothing."

"Just because you didn't sense anything doesn't mean Master Obi-Wan didn't!"

"Peace, Anakin. Peace." Obi-Wan squeezed his padawan's hand, then squeezed Qui-Gon's. "I don't know. All I know is that it is a 'him' and he's strong."

"Is it Xanatos?"

"I don't know." Obi-Wan groaned softly. "So dizzy," he muttered.

Qui-Gon took his hand from Obi-Wan's and took out a small knife. "I'm going to give you something to drink. You'll feel better in a minute." He slit the tip of his index finger without hesitation or a wince, and put the digit to Obi-Wan's lips.

Obi-Wan drank for a long moment; Anakin watched his throat working. When the younger master turned his head away, Qui-Gon tried to follow, but Obi-Wan raised one trembling hand. "Enough. I'll drink again later if I need to." Color had returned to his cheeks, and his lips were red with the blood he'd been given. He wiped at them with the back of his hand. "I'll make it now." Still, he didn't even try to sit up. "ber'Nac is dead. There's nothing we can do about that. But there's much we can do to hunt down the true source of the Darkness here, and even more we can do to help the Grand Patriarch and all his people. Thann-ella must be reached and helped."

"It seems Zee is handling that," Qui-Gon said.

"He sounded distressed. I think our time of secrecy is up." He smiled a little. "It didn't last long." He caught Qui-Gon's hand, and for the first time he looked at the three who surrounded him. He gazed at Ferus the longest, which Anakin didn't understand, then said, "I'll have to find some new clothes. My survival pack is back at the ship, but I don't relish the thought of riding a furry that has more covering than I have."

Anakin felt the self-mockery that his master was carrying off as wry humor, and something else that not even he could name. Whatever this second emotion was, it plagued Obi-Wan, and made him determined that he wasn't going to reveal himself completely.

Hoping to reassure, and to comfort, even if he didn't know exactly what was wrong, the padawan said, "We'll find you some clothes. Don't worry." He bore down on Obi-Wan's hand. "Do you think you'll be strong enough to walk?"

"I think so, Padawan mine." Obi-Wan's eyes were closed again, though, and he looked exhausted once again, though most of the color held. "Will you contact Zee, Qui-Gon? I'd like to know he's all right. And he'll know if we're needed."

"All right." Qui-Gon activated his communicator.

"Zee here. Qui-Gon, is that you?"

"Yes. I'm sorry to cut you off earlier. Obi-Wan..." He shot a look at his lover, worried and (at least to Anakin's eyes) still angry. "Obi-Wan woke up, and I wanted to make sure he was all right." He was chaffing Obi-Wan's hand again. "Do you want us to come to the Grand Patriarch's palace?"

"Thann-ella wants Obi-Wan here, if he's able. I've never seen her so calm, yet so intense. Whatever he said to her, Obi-Wan certainly changed much of her thinking."

"I'll be there, Master," Obi-Wan said, his voice stronger than it had been moment before. "Can you give me two hours?"

"I'll find a way to make things last that long, yes." Zee sighed. "Things aren't going to be simple; the distrust and anger of several decades lies between these two sides. And the Dark Force is still here, though I don't think it's touched… many of my family members."

Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan to see if his master had caught that hesitation, but Obi-Wan's eyes were still closed, and though his lips were pressed tightly together, that could have been caused by pain.

"As soon as Obi-Wan can travel, we'll be there," Qui-Gon said.

"I'll hold things together until then. May the Force be with all of you."

Qui-Gon stuffed the communicator away, then turned to the two padawans. "I don't want to send you alone when there is still danger here, but Obi-Wan needs clothes. Catch two furries, go back to the ship, and bring all of our survival packs here. We shouldn't have gone far without them."

"They would have slowed us down, or identified us as more organized and put-together than we wanted," Obi-Wan murmured. He squeezed Anakin's hand. "The Force will be with them both. They will carry out this short mission with competence and teamwork." He opened one eye, winked at Anakin. "May the Force be with you both."

Anakin bit his lip. "Master, I don't want to leave you here."

Obi-Wan smiled a little, and now both his eyes were open. "Qui-Gon will-"

"Do as you're told. There isn't time for argument," Qui-Gon said. He shot a glance at Ferus that Anakin couldn't interpret. "Get back quick as you can."

Ferus bowed. "Yes, Master." He started at once for the stairs.

Anakin waited for Obi-Wan's nod, then he followed. His anger was growing again, it was it was a struggle to dispel it, but he managed it, sending one more wave of Light Force around Obi-Wan before he reached the top of the stairs and couldn't see his master anymore.

The moment they were out of the building (Anakin's mind was still back with Obi-Wan), Ferus said, "I'm sorry I was so prejudiced against Master Obi-Wan."

Startled, Anakin at first couldn't speak. He tried to put those words together with his perception of Ferus, and wasn't able to connect them easily. He wanted to say, "you should be," but that didn't seem quite Jedi-like. "You should tell him."

"I think he already knows. Something about the way he looked at me. But I'll apologize as soon as I get the chance."

_It's like he went off less than half a day ago, and came back with a new mind. _"Why? Why do you respect him now?"

Ferus rubbed at the back of his head, a gesture he shouldn't have picked up, but one that crept into his movements when he was extremely nervous. "Master Qui-Gon explained some things about him. Like how he's compensated for a weak natural connection to the Light Force with hard work and patience." His hand moved faster.

Anakin wondered if Ferus would eventually start a fire in his hair doing that. Pondering that kept his anger away, so he continued to think about it.

"I didn't know how hard he's worked. I'm… I'm sorry."

That hesitation eased Anakin's sore feelings completely, and he thought he might actually like Ferus some day. "It's all right. I'm protective of him, I guess. I don't want anyone to think of him as weak, not when-" He resisted the urge to bite his lip or give any other physical sign of his reluctance- "he spends every minute of every day teaching me about the Light Force and helping me every time I screw up."

"There are rumors at Temple about Qui-Gon, too."

_What, no 'master'? Are you actually relaxing?_ Anakin held back on the smile. "I've heard them. Most of them are flattering, but some aren't. Like how they say he has personal vendettas." He gauged Ferus's reaction; the other padawan didn't seem disturbed or offended by his words. _Yeah, he's definitely decided to relax._

"Most of the time, he doesn't. But sometimes… If we meet someone who did something wrong- usually to Master Obi-Wan- he can get… tense." He swallowed. "And I've felt what your master; Qui-Gon gets angry sometimes, and I don't know how to work with him then, because I don't think it's my place to tell him if he's doing something against the Jedi Code. I mean, it's not a padawan's place, right?"

Anakin wasn't sure how to answer that, so he shrugged.

"Do you ever call Master Obi-Wan out on things?" Ferus sounded simultaneously shocked and awed.

Anakin laughed; he smothered the sound immediately with his hand, but his eyes twinkled. His mind had flashed back to a time last year- "It's not like that with us. He's my master, but in a lot of ways, we're partners. I turn to him almost all the time, but sometimes… sometimes there are things he just can't do in the Force. That's when he'll ask me to do them. But real mistakes? Like getting angry or indulging in worry? That's not really Obi's way." He held his breath for a moment, hoping Ferus wouldn't call him out for it, but Ferus hadn't seemed to have caught it.

"It must be nice to have a master you aren't worried is going to get in trouble with the Council."

Bitterness, and Anakin, familiar with that from his time in Tatooine as well as his time at Temple, said, "Qui-Gon is amazing, though. He has lots of strengths, like Obi does. They're just different strengths. And every Jedi has something that is a challenge to him. I bet even Yoda has something." _Forget liking him 'some day'. I like him now. He worries about his master like I worry about Obi, even if it's for different reasons. _Shaking off his reticence, Anakin drew closer to Ferus and pointed. "There're two furries. Let's see if we can catch a ride."

oOo

"You're acting like I'm going to die if I don't drink more of your blood," Obi-Wan said when the padawans were gone. He hadn't moved, and though his eyes were open, his voice had returned to the way it had been before he spoke to Zee. "You need the strength, too. When they come back, we'll all eat, and then I'll take more blood, but you need it for now. In case whoever is out there stirring up the Dark Force shows up here."

"Don't talk to me about strategy, Obi-Wan. I was planning the best stands out before you were born."

"Don't pull the I'm-older-so-I'm-more-experienced card with me, _Qui-Gon._ When you can let go of your anger, we can talk." Obi-Wan closed his eyes, took in a breath.

Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan's frustration dissipate. He tried to let his own go. "Are we done arguing?" he asked, trying a gentler tone.

"For now. Force knows we'll do it again." Obi-Wan's smile was wane. "We've only seen each other again, after five years, for less than a week, and here we are again, rehashing the old arguments."

"My anger was never an old argument. You were a padawan who didn't question his master for most of our time together." Qui-Gon kissed the back of Obii-Wan's hand. "Now. Will you tell me what you need to tell me. It's written all over your face, even if no one else can see it and even if you're keeping your thoughts to yourself."

"I don't know how to begin, and I'm afraid once I get started I won't be able to stop. It's…" His gaze drifted down to where ber'Nac lay. "I was raped again. _Again._ This seems to be the only way the Dark Force has of getting to me. I'd much rather fight, or be surrounded by doubts, or almost anything other than be humiliated and abused again."

"Listen to your own words, Obi-Wan. All those things you mentioned, you oculd handle. All those things, even the doubts, wouldn't bother you. Many Jeid are distressed when those around them doubt, but your faith in the Force is unmatched. You have neer had to question if something came from the Force or not; you know. Youmay wonder what the Force is saying, but you don't doubt where each bit of information or intuition came from."

"I have doubted," Obi-Wan whispered.

"Perhaps," _though I don't quite think your definition of doubt is the one most would use _"but you doubt a lot less than others would if they were given the Chosen One and asked to work with him."

"You didn't doubt that he's the Chosen One."

"Yes, but knowing something when you don't have to deal with someone every day is different than coming to know them intimately and still be able to accept that they will, one day, save us all." He sighed, trailed his fingers through his hair. "And now, we have more important things to discuss besides reaffirming that we still love and understand each other, even though we may occasionally fight." He hoped Obi-Wan noted the wry turn in his voice. "Will you indulge me while I voice a few concerns?"

"As long as I can lay here and I'm not expected to get up and start leaping around like a Treshen horn-beast."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Agreed." The smile fell away, and he took in a breath to steady himself. "I don't want to seem like the rule-abiding type, but is it wise to allow Anakin to call you Obi instead of Master Obi-Wan? Granted; you started calling me Qui-Gon when you were sixteen, and my name passed your lips at other times before that, mostly when you were afraid or in need, but it was never a habit with you. And you never used a nickname for me. There was a line of respect between us, and you knew well enough not to cross it. Seemingly, Anakin doesn't even know that line exists."

"He knows. Our relationship is much different than the early one you and I cultivated. Anakin and I both understand our limitations, and we look to each other when we meet the walls that naturally exist in our capabilities."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "That sounds like a wise man dodging a question, Obi mine. Would you care to give me an example?"

"Just stop me when you've heard enough. Take my ability to fix certain mechanical things. My ability accedes yours, true?"

_By quite a bit, yes. Especially when it comes to making quick patches that don't need to hold up for more than a few minutes, but that will save our lives. _"Yes."

"Anakin's aptitude with anything and everything technical makes my own efforts look like the best a three-years child can manage, even if he or she was a genius. Would you like another?"

"I know of his mechanical ability. If that's the only one, or even the major one, besides your level of connection to the Force-"

"It isn't. I promise, I have many more examples. Take flying."

"Now, Obi mine, you detest flying, but that doesn't mean you aren't good at it. You threw yourself into learning how to fly the same way you've thrown yourself into every other lesson you've had to learn."

"I can't sit before any instrument panel and fly the ship behind it."

"No, but you know most. All those widely used in the Republic, and quite a few outside it. Don't confuse dislike with lack of talent."

"Anakin can sit in any ship and figure it out."

"Don't exaggerate, Obi mine; it's not Jedi-like." Still lightly teasing, wishing Obi-Wan would open his eyes so he could see the look in Qui-Gon's own.

"I'm not." Obi-Wan lay very still for a moment, and seemed to be listening to something only he could hear.

Qui-Gon waited, his apprehension growing as the seconds passed.

At last, Obi-Wan nodded, seemingly to himself. Then his eyes opened and Qui-Gon could read the utter exhaustion there. "Anakin and Ferus have furries. They're headed for the ship." He shivered a little, groaned. "I suppose I do need another drink, much as I want to resist it. My connection to the Force is so weak… I'm almost afraid it's going to wink out entirely."

Qui-Gon slit open the index finger on his other hand and put the digit between Obi-Wan's slightly-parted lips. "You won't. A Jedi can't lose that. No matter what happens. The Dark Force that attacked you only blocked your connection, I'm sure." But even as he spoke, Qui-Gon remembered Anakin telling him about how Obi-Wan had broken the Force collar. "Obi mine, I don't want to frighten you, but I think you may have unconsciously used the Dark Force." When Obi-Wan tried to turn his face away this time, Qui-Gon said, "No. Keep drinking. I can spare a little more. I need you to be strong enough to talk to me. What happened with the Force collar… It's serious."

Obi-Wan continued to drink for another half-minute, then he reached up and pushed Qui-Gon's hand away. His eyes, which had been closed while he drank, were open now, and their depths gleamed with fury. He blinked, and the anger was gone.

Qui-Gon reached out, touching his lover's mind. He found the anger completely gone, as he'd hoped he would, but hurt was still there, still very much alive. _Obi-Wan, what-?_

"Listen to me." Obi-Wan gripped Qui-Gon's upper arms and his gaze locked with the older man's. "Why do you immediately assume that I opened the Force collar with the Dark Force? Just because I'm tired of being raped doesn't mean I would give into that sort of self-indulgent nonsense. I've spent too long following after the Light Force to go over to the Dark Side just like that."

"I wasn't trying to accuse you of- You just slipped. It happens to all of us."

"Qui-Gon, _I didn't use the Dark Force. _I know no other Jedi- on record, at least- has used the Light Force to open a collar, but… Well, you did. Why couldn't I?"

"I… What? When?" He'd only been in a Force collar once, and he'd broken that by- "Obi-Wan, what are you talking about?"

"On Telos. Don't tell me you're suffering old-age memory loss, Master." But any humor that jibe was supposed to carry was overshadowed by the caution and ghost of hurt that still lurked in Obi-Wan's eyes. "Xanatos put a Force collar on you before he raped me. When he was still in me, you used the Force to break the collar and chains."

Sweat popped out on Qui-Gon's forehead. _Have you always thought it was the Light Force I used, both to break free, then to at first face him? If not for you, I might have descended completely into Darkness that day. Don't you remember the anger you saw on my face. _He groaned silently, remembering how young Obi-Wan had trusted him in all things, and how he forgot mistakes made. _Of course you have always thought that; you couldn't feel much of the Force, Dark or Light, back then. Any other padawan would have known, but you… You couldn't have known._

Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed, but a look of understanding had come. "You broke the collar with the Dark Force." He looked away.

Qui-Gon's chest tightened. To be shunned by his lover; it was more than he could bear. "Obi mine, it was so long ago, and I've made my peace with it. Don't condemn me now."

The younger master's eyes snapped back to Qui-Gon's face. "I would never condemn you. I'm only glad you didn't go away. I was so afraid when I realized you were angry… I should have realized that you used anger to break the collar." He laughed. "What a child I still am, in so many ways." A shake of his head. "Still a child." Then he was reaching up and trailing his fingers along Qui-Gon's jaw. "But I would never condemn or scorn you. Ever." For the third time, he went still. "Does this mean... Does this mean I'm the first Jedi we know of that has opened a Force collar with the Light Force?"

"Forgive me, but are you sure it was the Light Force?"

"It was. I felt panic at first, but then-" Quickly, Obi-Wan told Qui-Gon all that happened when he awoke to discover that ber'Nac was in the middle of raping him. "Do you think it was the Light Force?" he finished. "I can't see what else it could have been."

"Neither can I, Obi mine." Qui-Gon bowed his head. "You have discovered a great thing. I find it hard to believe that none has discovered it before you, but there you are: it hasn't been documented. When we return to Temple, you should ask Yoda about it." His mind had latched onto the anguish he heard behind Obi-Wan's words, that he'd been hearing for a while, he realized. "The Dark Force is attacking you the way it knows you'll be taken. But you have to fight it. Most Jedi can't say they've suffered half as many personal attacks as you have. You can still be strong; you can still recover, and rise to fight another day." He kissed Obi-Wan gently. "I still love you, if that's any help. I will always love you. I would never abandon you. Not because you're a target for the Dark Force, not because-"

"I'm a whore?" Obi-Wan winced. "I know I'm not," he said at once. "It just feels like that sometimes, especially when I can't fight them off. The first time ber'Nac touched me, and I was at first able to defend myself, or at least put up a fight, it wasn't so bad. But now- Qui-Gon, it's like I'm being labeled each time. And remember that mark we talked about? Even if very few people can see that mark, I swear I can feel it." A short laugh. "And I no longer have any hope that this will be my last time. I'll be brought down again, molested again, most likely raped again. And because it seems to be the will of the Light Force that I suffer all these things-"

"Obi-Wan, the Light Force-"

"-I will continue to suffer through each attack, gaining I don't know what in the name of the Light Force, but getting weaker each time. Now that the Dark Force is being used to rape me, I can't see how I'll live through another attack. And even if I do, even if I live to be five hundred, I don't-" He gripped Qui-Gon's arm. "I refuse to live for five hundred years if all I'm good for is a good fuck. The Light Force has no right to ask this of me!"

"Obi-Wan!"

"_It has no right!_ I've given my whole life to the Light Force, everything that I am belongs to the Light Force, even more so than before you left. Dying in the name of the Force- that's fine. I can handle that. Consider that eventually part of what I signed up for. Crouching down and lifting up Anakin so he can be ready for the day of reckoning, that's an honor. I would gladly do it a hundred times over. But to be the whore of any and all Dark Force-users who almost happen to have a penis? That's too much. I'm meant for more than living life as a whore. And if I'm not meant for more than that, I wish the Light Force would desert me all together and let the Dark Force just kill me and get it over with. Why does the Light Force have to keep me alive? What does it need me for? Does it enjoy watching me struggle against humiliation? Why don't I just strip and walk around Coruscant in nothing but a thong? At least then I would know what my purpose is and not be hiding it under a Jedi's robes!"

"But if you weren't a Jedi, the Dark Force wouldn't bother you. Because you wouldn't be in its way." Qui-Gon didn't know he was being fed the words directly from the Light Force, and so he didn't give It credit.

"Oh yes it would! Because I'd still be Force-sensitive, and even if I stopped being a Jedi, I wouldn't abandon Anakin. I would still give everything I am, everything I know, to protect and support him."

"Then that's the problem. You'd have to stop protecting Anakin. Only then would the Dark Force leave you alone."

Obi-Wan grimaced. "That I will never do. Anakin is the only hope the Republic has, even if they don't know it. Anakin is the only hope the Jedi have. He's going to bring balance to the Fore, which means it's going to go far out of balance first, go far to the Dark Side before he brings it back. I need to be there to help make sure he isn't washed away in the flood."

"Maybe that's not your job anymore. You've gotten Anakin this far, and the Dark Force has done nothing but attack you. Maybe it's time for someone with a stronger Force connection to take care of him."

Obi-Wan's scowl darkened his whole face, and his hands balled into fists. "Are you suggesting that you should take him? Take on two padawans?"

Qui-Gon's jaw dropped. "Obi-Wan… Obi mine, you're angry. Let it go. Let it go. Please. I didn't mean that at all. I only meant that maybe Yoda should raise Anakin from here on in. He could; he would have an easier time resisting the Dark Force's barbs-"

"And you're saying I haven't tried to resist, that I haven't given everything in me to Anakin's protection? Or are you saying that-?"

He stopped, and a look of shock crossed his face. His hands relaxed at his sides, but then he turned on his side, huddling into a ball, his arms wrapped around his knees. "Force, Qui-Gon… Help me. I'm so lost. I'm so lost. Help me. I don't want to give in to the Dark Force. I don't. Help, Qui-Gon. Don't let me go. I want to stay in the Light Force." His tone hardened. "Even if all the Light Force sees in me is a whore, I want to stay in It. Is that loyalty? No. Desperation. The Light Force is all I've ever known, first seeing it through others' eyes, then through my own experience. I can't leave now. Anakin needs me. But, Force, I don't know how to fight the Dark Force any more than I am. I don't know how to keep believing this is what I'm meant for. If I'm meant to die a whore, help me accept that. For Anakin. Help me, Force. I don't have any strength left. I never had much to begin with, but now even that's gone. Don't desert me. Forgive my foolish words and sustain me again. If You want me here for Anakin, you're going to have to sustain me."

The Light Force rushed around them, but even shocked and worried as he was, Qui-Gon could feel that most of it only swirled about Obi-Wan, not entering him, fortifying him. He tried to bend his own will into the Force, channeling it. This worked not a bit, and Qui-Gon groaned. _He's only asking a little thing. Let him feel you. Let him be strong in you again. Please. I'm just a servant, but fill him, please. He needs you._

A rush of hot, living Force bore into Obi-Wan then, shoving out every touch of Dark Force, pushing out every burn, healing him, bringing him back to the strength he'd been before ber'Nac took him.

Obi-Wan gasped under the ministrations of the Light Force, and he uncurled. "Thank you," broke from his lips. "Thank you. Forgive me." A weak smile. "You do. I feel it. Thank you. Thank you." He was crying, but didn't seem to notice. "Thank you. I can't live without You." HE breathed again. "I'll be whatever You want. Just don't abandon me. Please. I beg You. Don't leave me in the Dark again. I will die in You, I will serve as a whore if I have You."

He sat up, the blanket puddling around his waist. All trace of the insanity that had clouded his eyes had vanished. "We have to get to Thann-ella. She is strong in the Light Force, but she needs support. She needs Jedi around her, supporting her."

Qui-Gon, dazed, shook his head. "That's it? You're going to just let all the questions you brought up, all the anxiety you feel, go?"

"What other choice do I have?" Obi-Wan sighed. "If I question the Light Force, it will leave me again. If I indulge in fear, I'll lose myself to the Dark Force. What else can I do but go on?" He closed his eyes, and Qui-Gon, touching his mind tentatively, heard him send this message: _Anakin?_

_Master! You're better!_

_Stronger, yes. The Force healed me. Are you and Ferus all right?_

_Yes, Master. We're on our way back now._

_Good. Be mindful of the Force; there is still a dangerous source of Dark Force here._

_We'll be careful, Master. I promise. We'll be there in two minutes._

_You seem more at peace, Padawan mine. Have you spoken with Ferus?_

Anakin laughed. _I don't know how you do that. Yeah, we talked. He respects you. We've made peace._

_I'm glad._

_How did you know he'd changed?_

_I could see it in his eyes when he and Qui-Gon shoed up._ _I'll let you go now, Padawan, so you can be watchful._

_We're almost there. Don't worry, Obi. Nothing's going to happen._

_Don't be so confident. Reach out to the Force before you make a promise like that. _Obi-Wan closed his connection, turned to Qui-Gon. "Do you think I'm insane, or that two people have taken up residence in my mind?"

"That's what it sounds like." Still shaking his head, still stunned. "This is the Obi-Wan I'm used to talking to. But the other one was real. How long have you thought like that?"

"Full-blown hopelessness? Just today. Before this, even in the middle of my whoring for ber'Nac five years ago, I still had hope that, even if I couldn't feel the Force well, I could come back to it, and that it would flow through me again and raise me to a higher purpose." His lip curled. "I still think all the Light Force sees me as is a whore, but I can make peace with that. I have made peace with it. Some of us are meant to be leaders, generals, peacekeepers, pilots. I'm surely not the first Jedi to be made a whore. And even if I am, these are special times. These are the Times of the Chosen One. Whatever I am meant to do in these Times I will do gladly."

To that Qui-Gon had no answer, which was fine with Obi-Wan because he didn't really expect one.

oOo

As he mounted one of the furries Anakin and Ferus had brought back along with the supplies, Obi-Wan drew the Light Force around him like the shield it was. _You've abandoned me a little,_ he told it. _I don't begrudge You that because You have so many other things to do, but if I'm going to be left like that again, I wish I could know in advance. Try to get ready, somehow._ His mental laughter was little more than a silent snort. _That's a lot to ask; I'm sure Jedi before me, Jedi wiser than I am, stronger than I am, have asked to know what's coming. You'll give me what You think is best. But please…_

_No._ He spurred his furry into a gallop. _I won't ask for my position, my destiny, to be changed. All I can do is go forward. _He realized he was lying o himself, and amended, _I'll try to go forward. And I'll try to accept what comes my way. No master can teach everything he needs to if he's fighting his own demons. And Anakin needs all my attention._

They rode towards the shore, and Obi-Wan released his frustration with the Light Force. That feeling would come back, he was sure, but he thought that, through meditation, he could keep it at bay, maybe even truly come to accept his place. Meditation had helped him in so many other ways; what was so wrong with hoping that it could do the same thing for him now? _Nothing, and there's an end to it. Until then, please, Force, be with me. I must help Anakin, Your Chosen One._

_Master Obi-Wan? _A tentative pressure at his shields.

Obi-Wan lowered his shields. _Yes, Padawan mine?_

_Are you all right? You aren't, are you? The Force healed you, but you're still in pain. Something changed you today._

_Yes, Anakin, I've been changed. _His mental tone was mild. _There are only so many times a person can be violated before he or she riles against the Force. _He felt the truth of that, and it brought him a little more peace. _I've made my peace with it again, and with the Force. I exploded at Qui-Gon a little, but I'm only human. He'll forgive me. And the Force forgives me, too._

_The Force shouldn't be letting this happen to you. I mean, you're supposed to be celebrating. How many Jedi have broken a Force collar by using the Light Force?_

_Less than I thought._ Obi-Wan smiled. _Yes, I should be thinking about that, think about teaching it. If time allows, I'll teach you and Ferus on the way back to Coruscant._

_Qui-Gon already knows?_

An admission now, one he couldn't avoid. _No. I'll ask him if he wants to learn, too. Obviously, we won't have a Force collar on the ship, but I can at least talk you through it. In the safety of Temple, with the Council's permission, I'll teach you. It's really quite simple, though: the Force dwells everywhere, including inside each of us. If you can tap into the Force inside you, you can open the collar from the inside._

_Really? It's that simple?_

_Yes. And the only reason many Jedi don't know about it, I think, is because the shock of being without the Force suddenly is so distracting and distressing._

_No one will be able to hold you ever again, Master._

_At least not with a Force collar, Padawan mine._

_But, with access to the Force, wouldn't you be able to…?_

_I had access to the Force five years ago. And true for you: the Force has come more deeply inside me since then, so I can't predict anything, but I still might be in danger. _He cast his senses about him. _We should discuss this later. There will be time. For now, we have a mission to complete._

_Yes, Master._

Alone in his own mind once again (Obi-Wan made sure of this before he allowed himself the freedom of thought) the young master knew that he would have to go to Yoda with more than his discovery about the Force collar. Yoda would have to help him through his new, terrible lack of faith.

_I've rarely felt so lost. Only when Master Ahleh died and I thought I was going to lose everything I'd ever believed in-_ He could have smacked himself on his forehead. _This is just like that. What else does utter hopelessness mean? Force, as You have always been with me, even when I couldn't feel You, be with me now. You are more than my connection to the universe. My life, death, and soul are in Your hands._

oOo

"Are you free to talk?"

Adee tried not to show how startled he was, but he thought the thing in the long cloak knew anyway. "My brother is busy with the other Jedi." He let his frustration and surprise show. "Kenobi was still walking, still seemed confident and sure in the Force."

"He isn't. Something essential has been shaken in his very core." Calus smiled, the whiteness of his teeth gleaming in the dim light of the out-of-the-way room he'd come to. "Don't worry; the first step to his ultimate undoing has been taken. He can't go back, only forward, and my master will make sure that he goes just where he's supposed to."

"And what of Qui-Gon? Won't he have something to say about that?"

"Those two will be separated again soon enough. They've both cheated death too many times. They aren't long for this plane of existence. Especially Qui-Gon." He laughed when Adee's eyes widened. "And yet, Kenobi might go first. Only my Master knows." He folded his hands comfortably before him. "Be patient with that. It's all we'll both get for a while. You have another task to accomplish."

"Anything, though if the Jedi continue to talk, we may lose our foothold here."

"We've already lost it." He laughed as Adee was again unable to hide his shock. "It's of no consequence. There are other worlds more fruitful in other parts of the galaxy. Don't worry about that; you'll get everything you were promised, and more. But for now, you've tipped your hand a little too soon. Your brother knows of your plans. How much longer will he keep quiet?"

Adee waved his tail about. "Zee won't let anything happen to me. He's too loyal for that. He's lied right to Yoda's face for years, and it's never bothered him, or his vaulted Light Force connection." It was Adee's turn to chuckle, though he did so cautiously. It was a dangerous man he was dealing with, and he knew it. "Our yellow eyes hide many things, even from Yoda and the rest of the Jedi Council."

"Good. Because it's back to the Jedi that I'm sending you. The Dark Lord isn't done with you yet. There will come an opportunity to corrupt Kenobi or kill Qui-Gon. You won't go on instinct, though; you'll be directed. My Master commands it. There's too much at stake to start spreading clues around like crumbs."

The spark of fury in Darth Calus's eyes made Adee wonder if the Sith would let him live long enough to reach the Jedi Temple. _I took a risk, letting Zee into this. It's more of a risk than I knew._

Then the spark died, and Adee could breathe again. "For now," Calus said, "keep your ears open for anything you think might help our cause. We will be in frequent contact. It's strange that the Jedi don't know how deeply we've infiltrated their ranks already. And they won't know until it's too late." Laughing again. "You should get back. They'll be wondering where you are."

Grateful, Adee started for the door.

"Just one last thing."

_Now he's going to kill me._ Adee turned, meeting Calus's eyes only after a brief struggle. "Yes, my Lord?"

"If your brother gets to be too much of a problem, could you kill him?"

Adee stiffened. "Then Yoda would know everything. It's only because of Zee that my connection to you is hidden."

"Then we'll avoid killing him. But if it became absolutely necessary, would you do it?"

"Of course."

"Good. You're dismissed."

When he was far away from the Sith, his shields up, Adee added, _Only if there's no way to avoid it. Zee was never the target; Zee deserves to live in the new order. I'll find a way to save him from the Sith._

oOo

Thann-ella embraced Obi-Wan. She couldn't help herself, though she sensed the shock of her family. She didn't care. Reticence aside, she couldn't let him go without showing him what he'd done for her and for Rept'thik. The others had spoken; the other man, Qui-Gon, spoke eloquently. But it was Obi-Wan she had attended to most closely, and she sensed that her father and brothers had done the same.

"Thank you," she said, stepping back. "Thank you for bringing the Light Force here."

"It was already here," Obi-Wan answered. "Let me ask you again: We can stay a while to help strengthen you and yours in the ways of the Light Force. Do you want us to stay?"

She shook her head. "No, Obi-Wan. We thank you, but we'll be fine here." She glanced at her father, and saw that he wanted to speak. She stepped back from Obi-Wan.

"You have unorthodox negotiation methods, Jedi," the Grand Patriarch said. "You would do well, next time, to approach me directly." He seemed uncomfortable in the face of four humans, and so his eyes stayed mostly on Zee.

Zee bowed. "We apologize, Grandfather. We weren't sure how to arrive. Now that we have your permission, we will of course arrive openly from this day forward. And not just us, but all Jedi. And we will of course ask your permission before landing."

When it was clear her father had nothing more to say, Thann-ella took Obi-Wan's hand once more. "May I speak with you for a minute?"

Obi-Wan nodded, and they excused themselves.

When they were a little distance from the others, Thann-ella turned to him. "Your mind has been tightly closed. Is there something wrong? I hope those two that took you didn't hurt you."

"They did, and it is partially to spare others the pain that I feel that I'm keeping my shields up." He swayed a little on his feet, but stood steady again before she could reach out to him. "But it's more: I'm exhausted, and I don't think I could stand another attack just now. At least if my shields are up, I'm protected a little." A shadow passed over his eyes, and he stood stock still for a minute, gathering his strength. "The Light Force took away my pain for a time, long enough for the negotiations. I thought I had been healed by it, but apparently I was wrong."

She touched his arm, and he smiled up at her.

"Don't worry; I will heal; it just hasn't happened yet. And until I'm back at Temple, I'll have to keep my shields up as protection."

"At least we found the Repticonn that attacked you. He's committed suicide."

"Are you sure it was suicide?"

She smiled thinly. "Probably not, but as that other is dead also, we have no one to ask." A pause. "You will be taking his body, yes?"

"It's already aboard the ship."

She nodded. "My father will be grateful for that." She bowed to him. "Safe journey, Obi-Wan Kenobi. And I pray the Light Force heals you as you have healed us."


	23. The Light Force Speaks Again

**Author's Note:** I hope that this chapter being longer than most will make up for me being gone for so long. I also have good news: My novel is done, and I will not be taking on any more projects until _Targets of the Dark Force_ is complete. I'm shooting for the entire story to be done by around the first of February. I'm not sure how many more chapters, but probably another two hundred pages or so will be written before the end. I thank all of you for your patience, and I promise that I won't rest until this epic is done.

Thank you.

Estel Baggins

SnapshotsPg. 1

The TruthPg. 14

Obi-Wan's MemoriesPg. 29

Obi-Wan's MemoriesPg. 44

Obi-Wan's DefendersPg. 57

Anakin's Dream: The First Time Pg. 71

The Voice of the Force:Pg. 90

Listening to the VoicePg. 106

Obi-Wan's Defenders (2)Pg. 118

The Two Halves of the Light ForePg. 134

The Trials and the DecisionPg. 163

Crystal CavePg. 180

Targets of the Dark Force (Ragoon 6)Pg. 195

The PartingPg. 216

Anakin's Dream: FregalaPg. 231

Getting Reaquainted: Master and ApprenticePg. 256

Getting Reaquainted: Two MastersPg. 273

Mission for SixPg. 289

Rept'thikPg. 306

DisposalPg. 327

HopelessnessPg. 348

The Light Force Speaks AgainPg. 370

The Light Force Speaks Again

"We didn't stay to find out what was causing the concentration of Dark Force," Anakin said. These were the first words he spoke once the ship was off-planet. He was in the pilot's seat, and Obi-Wan was sitting beside him.

"By the time we tried, Padawan, the concentration had left."

Anakin scowled. "Whoever it was, they were a coward."

"Now you know another definition of a Dark Force user: one who relies only on himself, and when that fails, he has nowhere else to turn. If you were alone in the universe, wouldn't you be more cautious and willing to cut your losses instead of sticking it out in a fight you might not win?"

"I can't imagine that. I don't think I would be afraid, but-" Anakin approached the ring that would carry them into hyperspace, his eyes narrowed as he calculated the exact right angle without help of instruments- a new lesson Obi-Wan had asked him to practice. "-I have the Light Force always, and I have you, so I guess I can't really know what it would be like."

"I won't lie to you, Padawan mine: for a time, it would feel as though you were very powerful, in charge of your destiny, as it were. But that feeling will fade and leave you with nowhere to turn."

"So how can the Sith continue to exist?"

"They bury their unease in wrath, jealousy, a craving for revenge, anything that will overshadow their own doubt."

"So they ignore their feelings." Anakin shook his head. "But that's like shutting off a part of yourself. If you do that, you wouldn't be able to depend on yourself. But that's what they do." He threw up his hands, but took the controls again at once, meeting with the ring seamlessly. He glanced at his master, a grin stealing through his frustration.

Obi-Wan's smile was everything Anakin had hoped for. "Excellent, Anakin. Your ability to split your concentration is growing by leaps and bounds." He chuckled. "If it wasn't dangerous to feel too much pride, I would be very proud of you. You're ready to make the jump?"

"Yes, Master."

"Do so." He waited until their windows were filled with streaking stars, then he said, "The Dark Force is a vicious cycle of self-deception and self-promoting. That's probably a better definition than the last one I gave."

"How do you know all that about the Dark Force?"

Obi-Wan's smile was wane. "Observation." He rose. "I'm tired, Anakin. I need to rest." He touched Anakin's shoulder. "You can fly this big bird by yourself, I'm sure, but I'm going to send someone to sit with you, just in case something pops up that you haven't seen before. All right?"

Anakin nodded. "I'll be fine, Master. You don't have to send anyone."

"I know." Obi-Wan squeezed Anakin's shoulder. "But almost all Jedi, when they fly a ship like this, have someone in the copilot's seat, if for no other reason than it gives them someone to talk to." His knees shook, and he sagged against Anakin's chair, catching himself with his other hand on the back of the seat.

Anakin was up and out of his seat, supporting his Master, in less time than it takes to tell. "Obi?" Giving Obi-Wan his shoulder to lean on, his arm slipping around the man's waist. "I'll help you get back to a cot."

"Set the autopilot," Obi-Wan said, his eyes dim and his voice far from strong.

Before Anakin could make up his mind how best to do this and still hold onto his master, Qui-Gon appeared. He moved to Obi-Wan's side in an instant and lent the younger man his support. "I have him, Anakin. Mind the ship." He started out of the cockpit, half-carrying the other master.

Anakin set the autopilot and hurried to support Obi-Wan on the other side.

"Anakin-" Qui-Gon began.

"It's all right." Ferus had appeared in the small space. He slipped between Anakin and the wall. He slipped into the chair Anakin had vacated. "I'll watch things, Master."

Silence from Qui-Gon, a puzzled frown from Anakin. "Thank you, Ferus," Obi-Wan murmured, his voice barely audible.

"Don't talk," Qui-Gon said, starting to move again. The two padawans and the younger master could hear the fury in his voice.

oOo

With Obi-Wan resting on a cot, his body wracked by mild but continual shivers, Qui-Gon went into a meditative posture across from his lover after sending Anakin away. "Go back to the cockpit," he said. "And don't leave it until either we land or I call you."

"I want to stay with Master Obi-Wan."

Qui-Gon glared at him. "Get out. You can come when I send for you. Right now, he's not much to look at. He's unconscious."

Grumbling under his breath, not bothering to hide his anger or try to dissipate it, Anakin left.

Alone now, Qui-Gon closed his eyes and reached out to the Light Force. _Who do you think you are?_ he demanded. _Obi-Wan gives you his heart, his mind and every waking moment: what more do you want? And why do you punish him when so many other Jedi fall short of the devotion he shows? Even I fall short of it, and you have given me a stronger connection than many. With Obi-Wan's help, I learned about the Unifying Force, so that now I'm nearly unstoppable. And you've never turned on me. I'm not asking you to, but I'd be lying if I said that I worshiped you the way Obi-Wan does. So why do you turn on him?_

The questions fueled his rage, and Qui-Gon, bowing his head, dug his nails into his scalp.

_So don't follow the Light Force anymore. If it is betraying Obi-Wan, follow something that will protect Obi-Wan always, keep him safe always, never allow him to be a whore again._

Qui-Gon didn't know if the voice was his or from outside him, and just then he didn't care. In the back of his mind, he knew such thoughts were dangerous, that they could lead him away from the Light Force.

_And if they do? What's so wrong with that?_

Groaning, the master stood, began to pace. _Stop this, _he commanded himself or the voice in his head. _This is insane. I have no reason to leave the Jedi._

_Isn't Obi-Wan reason enough?_

_No. Not even Obi-Wan. I gave myself to the Jedi long ago._

_So you have to stay with them?_

_Stop! _Qui-Gon returned to his place opposite his lover, closed his eyes, and pushed out all thoughts except this: the Light Force is the sustainer of all things. On this one thing he meditated, and shut out the rest of the world, until the ship landed on Coruscant.

oOo

Anakin's meditations when he was in the cockpit again were not of the gentler sort. He'd left the pilot's seat to Ferus so he could think, and he even turned his face from all the instruments.

Qui-Gon had no right to send him away from Obi-Wan. No right. Force, Anakin had been there for Obi-Wan more than the older man, had protected Obi-Wan more completely than Qui-Gon had ever tried to do. So who was Qui-Gon Jinn to send him away?

_A Master, _an imitation of Obi-Wan's voice spoke up in his mind. _A Master deserving of respect. Not blind following- that isn't the way of the Force or the Jedi- but respect. Hasn't he been through more than you?_

Anakin conceded this. _But I've been protecting you longer, _he answered as if Obi-Wan was really there. _And, except for today, I've protected you better._

_Is that the truth? Was it you that kept me safe, or only circumstances? Have I been in danger- besides today- since Qui-Gon left?_

Scowling, Anakin thought to fight against that notion, but the seed of truth had been planted and he was too well-taught to let it grow. _Okay, so maybe it was circumstances, and when Obi really needed me, I wasn't there. But that doesn't mean I _can't_ keep him safe; I just need to be more vigilant. That's all._

_So this is about you, and not about Qui-Gon at all._

Anakin sighed. _Yeah, I guess. _He suffered through a wave of guilt so strong he turned his face further from Ferus, not wanting the other padawan to see what he was feeling. _He sent me out to walk with Thay-alla. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't have been more attentive to the Force. It must have given some sort of warning. I just didn't feel it. And Obi was raped because I didn't protect him. Because I didn't listen hard enough, well enough, whatever._

He sighed again, wanting to jump up and pace, but holding himself in check. _And if ber'Nac had killed him…_

This was when, if Obi-Wan had really been there, he would have said something about learning form the past and moving on, but the master was unconscious, so Anakin received no such words. And he was too busy berating himself to think of them on his own.

_He's hurt Obi more than ever before. My master can't feel the Force well, and not because he isn't reaching, or because he's too weak. The Force just isn't filling him like it should be. _Anakin reached out to confirm this, seeking his master's sleeping mind. He touched Obi-Wan almost at once, and heard:

_Force be with my padawan. He needs your protection and I'm not strong enough._

_How can you still have faith?_ Anakin withdrew, keeping his question to himself. Feeling confused and frustrated, he tried to puzzle it out like he would a botched engine part. _Obi has faith. More faith than I've ever seen, except maybe from the members of the Council. And I think his faith is stronger because he has nothing to rest it on, hardly any facts or experience or evidence. _He snorted. _I guess that's the true definition of faith._

But where did that faith get his master? Nowhere, as far as Anakin could see.

Again, the Obi voice in his head, which was really his own voice just taking his master's teachings, was silent.

"Are you okay?"

Anakin blinked, came back to the world. He glanced at Ferus, who was watching him with an intensity that made the younger padawan slightly nervous. He opened his mouth to lie, sopped himself, and said, "No. But I don't know how to put it all into words, so I don't want to talk about it."

Ferus nodded, got up.

_Oh, great. I offended him. _Anakin considered letting the other padawan go- _I didn't do anything wrong- _but a little of the peacekeeping skills Obi-Wan had been trying to teach him had stuck, so he said, "You don't have to leave. We can just go back to being quiet."

Ferus closed the cockpit door, sealing them off from the rest of the ship. He returned to his seat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "Can you feel it?"

Anakin, bewildered, asked, "Feel what?" He reached out to the Force, specifically for his master. He felt only Obi-Wan's sleeping mind. His master was still talking to the Light Force in his sleep.

"The Dark Force." Ferus shivered. "I think…" He chewed his lip. "I think it's coming from Qui-Gon."

Anakin's eyes widened and he broadened his search. The instant he did, he felt the rush of Qui-Gon's rage. The master's fury was like a swift current flowing far under the surface of an ocean: evidence of it couldn't be seen, but it was dangerous. Blinking, stunned to know Qui-Gon felt so much anger, Anakin wondered how much more Ferus could feel it, being Qui-Gon's padawan. "I feel it," he said, drawing back a little so he could keep his equilibrium in the Force. "Why is he so angry?"

Ferus's hands were shaking. But even as Anakin watched, the other padawan took in a breath and expelled his anxiety into the surrounding Force. _I wish I could do that so easily, _Anakin thought.

"He's angry with the Light Force. He doesn't think it's doing a good job of protection Obi-Wan." A pause, a blush. "Master Obi-Wan."

"I don't care if you call him Obi-Wan. You say it with respect now." Anakin hardly heard his own words. "And the Light Force isn't supporting Obi like he deserves. It's abandoning him, and yet he still has faith in it, which I can't understand. It's like having faith in a ship that you know has stalled before, but you still believe it can get you where you need to go."

"But the Force is still around him, right? Still inside him?"

"Around him, yes. In him? Not so much." Anakin heard the bitter tinge to his tone and couldn't stop it. "Obi has been loyal to the Force forever. Why does it abandon him?"

"Maybe the Light Force is testing his faith."

Anakin caught his breath. "What?" He waved a hand. "Never mind. I heard you." He closed his eyes. "Testing his faith? Could the Light Force be doing that?" He shook his head. "But why? Obi-Wan is faithful, the most faithful- I've already said that, and you know it." His gaze snapped to Ferus's face. "Right? You know he's faithful."

"I know."

"So why…" But then he had it, and Anakin only prayed he wasn't deceiving himself. "Could it be that the Force is preparing Obi for something greater? Could it?"

"Only the Force knows for sure." Ferus was nodding, though. "It would make sense. When we get back to Temple, maybe you could ask Yoda."

Anakin nodded, surprised how much calmer he felt. Grateful, too. "Thanks."

Ferus nodded again, but he looked distracted.

"What's wrong?"

"Qui-Gon. His anger is still high. He's…" Ferus's voice dropped to a whisper. "He even thought about looking for something besides the Light Force to help Obi-Wan."

Anakin saw the fear in Ferus's eyes and he reached out, feeling slightly ridiculous touching the other teen's knee, but thinking, _This is what Obi would do._ "He doesn't really mean that, and I'm with you- he shouldn't even be entertaining thoughts like that- but even the strongest of us is tempted sometimes. And when Obi wakes up, he'll talk your master out of it. I've seen that firsthand, Obi talking sense into people."

"Well, usually it's Qui-Gon talking sense, convincing people." Ferus squeezed Anakin's hand then let it go. "Thanks. I needed that." He squared his shoulders. "I'll have to talk to my master about his anger. It's… not right." He looked down. "It scares me."

"If Obi flipped like that, I'd go straight to Yoda."

"Obi-Wan would never 'flip'. It's not his style."

"Yeah, but how can you be sure? Every Jedi does unusual things sometimes. I bet even Yoda jumps up and tap dances now and again."

Ferus snickered as Anakin had hoped he would. "Yeah, I guess." Ferus turned back to the controls. "We'll be back at Temple soon, and hopefully we can get all our questions answered."

"If not, at least Yoda will be able to give us some good places to start." _And maybe he'll tell me how I can convince the Force to stop testing my master before it tests him out of his mind._

oOo

Obi-Wan came back to himself feeling as though he were at half-power. At once, he identified the source of this: the Light Force had mostly left him again, leaving him just enough of itself so that he could sense the things immediately around him through the Force and not just through his senses. In this way, he could sense the cot, the deck immediately around him, and Qui-Gon meditating not far away. Obi-Wan reached out to his lover, feeling at first only Qui-Gon's presence without any inner information. Letting his Force-sense of everything else go, he channeled his mind towards Qui-Gon, drawing his other senses inside himself so he wouldn't be distracted. Just before he touched Qui-Gon's mind, he realized, _It's not as if the Force has abandoned me; this is how everything used to feel when I was Ahleh's padawan, and for a good eight years after with Qui-Gon. I made slow progress all the time, but sometimes, just looking at the progress day to day or even week to week, it couldn't be seen. _Unfounded hope rose in his mind, and when he touched Qui-Gon through the Force, he couldn't hide this new joy.

But his happiness was crushed, swamped, by a wave of rage so deep and powerful that for a moment Obi-Wan couldn't even think of retreating. He was boiled alive in his lover's anger, and, groaning, he realized too late that he had no shields with which to cover himself. _Qui-Gon! Qui-Gon, stop! _He had the strangest sense that the thoughts hadn't left his own mind. Sighing, he thought, _Right back to the beginning. This would be funny if… _His lips twitched. _Okay, so it's a touch amusing. But still frustrating._

A voice, not from the Force, but from his own head, said, _So if you can't reach Qui-Gon that way, how else can you do it?_

The inarticulate roar of anger had ebbed, and so Obi-Wan retreated back into his own mind. The anger didn't follow him, but Obi-Wan knew that was because he couldn't sense his lover any more. Openig his eyes, he took stock of his injuries, found that he still ached, and rose anyway, crossing the intervening space on shaky legs. Sinking down beside his lover, he took Qui-Gon's hands in his and squeezed, murmuring, "Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon, come back. Talk about the anger with me. Don't try to bury it or try to feed it. Talk about your anger with me. I'm here to help."

He felt another wave of pain, and understood that it wasn't caused by his lack of connection to the Force, but by the hurt his body had suffered. _I took that for granted, at least: the Force's ability to heal my body and keep me going. What I feel now is nothing more than I felt when I was a young boy unconnected to the Light Force. This is no great tragedy, just life. _Reassured, and humbled, Obi-Wan rubbed Qui-Gon's hands and moved closer. Thinking only of getting through to the other man, he said, "Master, come back. Obi-Wan needs you. Don't abandon him. He isn't protected without you. Come back, Master Qui-Gon. Come talk about your anger, but come to comfort your padawan. He needs you, calls for you, and begs an answer."

It was half-drivel that he was speaking but when Qui-Gon shifted, grunted, and at last opened his eyes, Obi-Wan didn't regret the words in the slightest. "Master?"

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon focused on his former padawan. "Why do you call me master?"

Rage still flickered behind the older man's eyes, and so Obi-Wan ignored that question. "Why are you angry?"

Qui-Gon grunted. "You woke me from meditation. What do you need?"

"An honest answer to start, not a dodge."

"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon looked away. "It was nothing. I admit I shouldn't have been indulging in anger, but that's over now. I only needed to get some things off my chest."

"Are you angry with me?"

The older Jedi's eyes widened. "Why do you ask that? Obi mine, _how _can you ask that? You've done nothing this whole mission but be honest with me, and struggle to keep it all together."

"I didn't necessarily think it was me, but I want to par down the possibilities because you seem to want to dance instead of talk straight."

"When in the last five years did you become so straightforward yourself?"

_Stalling, stalling. _Still, Obi-Wan decided to answer before moving back. "Since I learned that moving around in a pretty dance is a waste of time. It doesn't mean I lose patience and blurt things out. The line between polite chatter and real talking is much thinner most of the time, that's all." He kissed Qui-Gon's cheek. "Now: are you angry with any of the rest of the team? Ferus?" He paused, hoping Qui-Gon would fill the silence.

"No."

"Anakin?"

"No."

"Master Zee?"

"No. And not Adee either."

_He's starting to catch on. Let's see how long I need to keep on like this before he'll finally talk to me. _"Well, are you angry with anyone at Temple? Master Windu?"

Qui-Gon groaned, put his head in his hands. "There's another thing you learned in the last five years: how to keep dancing even while it seems like you're being direct. I'm not angry with anyone at Temple."

"Are you angry with yourself?"

"Damnit, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon dug his fingernails into his scalp. "Why do you have to keep pressing? Didn't Yoda teach you how to be patient and wait for other people to come to you with their problems? Do you do this to Anakin?"

"You're not Anakin, so I don't have to answer that. And Yoda taught me just about everything he taught you. Maybe not quite as much, since he was _your _master, not mine, but Yoda teaches with everything he says and does, so I'm pretty sure I got the basics."

Qui-Gon lifted his head. He wore a stunned expression. "You've been asking me what's wrong with me. What's wrong with you? Obi-Wan, you've never been sarcastic."

"I've learned some things since you went away." Obi-Wan bowed his head, letting go of frustration. "Being angry without cause isn't one, though, so I'll stop. Honestly, Qui-Gon, I'm using the sarcasm to protect myself a little. It's hard to be strong enough to try and break through the block you're throwing up when the Force has left me with only as much connection to It as I had when I was working with Master Ahleh. And in my heart, I know it shouldn't make a difference, that I was a strong and determined six year old without more than a kiss of the Force, but I've become so used to the Force that I feel weak and powerless. Everything- sitting up, ignoring pain, talking- has all gained its own weight and asks for a price from me. That's asinine-"

Qui-Gon gasped.

"-and don't try to tell me it's not. Billions upon billions of people get along without the Force, so what's wrong with me? I've become dependent, that's what. Without the Force, I'm like an addict without a drug. And nothing but living like this for a while is going to make me strong again. I know that, accept it even (if I didn't I'd just go into shock) but everything is still a struggle."

"It shouldn't be." Qui-Gon's hands fisted on his lap. "The Force shouldn't have left you." He punched his knee. "You're the most patient, devoted disciple of the Force I've ever met. I think if you'd been given the chance to grow up apprentice to a Jedi who stayed at Temple and tended the plants or children or food, you would have been fine. Most padawans want to get out there; all you ever wanted was to connect to the Force."

"Not exactly true, but close enough."

"What do you mean? I can't imagine you, even now, wanting to get out there and fight."

"I didn't say that. What I wanted was to follow the Force, and you."

"I'm touched, Obi-Wan, but-"

"Then why don't you call me Obi mine? Does your anger at the Light Force extend to me?"

Qui-Gon swallowed. His fists didn't uncurl. "No. Of course not. I'm just letting my anger bleed into other areas of my speaking." He snorted. "Not quite Jedi-like, eh, padawan mine?" He drew Obi-Wan against him, hugging him so tight the younger man almost couldn't breathe. "I shouldn't hate, but I do. I hate the Light Force for giving up on you."

"Who says the Force is giving up? Maybe…"

"Maybe the Force is just testing you."

Obi-Wan turned, and when he saw Anakin standing in the doorway with Ferus beside him, he smiled. "Yes, padawan mine, that could very well be. A good thought." He turned his eyes back to Qui-Gon, but Anakin spoke up.

"It was Ferus's idea."

Obi-Wan glanced back at the two padawans, and his smile was broad. "A good idea then, Ferus." And, calling Anakin forward with a look, he drew Anakin down to crouch beside him and he whispered, "I'm so proud."

Anakin flushed, stood. "We should get back to the cockpit," he said, and Ferus, nodding, started to go with him.

"Ferus."

The teen turned to face Qui-Gon. "Yes, Master?"

"A good thought."

"Thank you." Ferus went out quickly.

Obi-Wan chuckled.

"What?"

"Nothing now. I'll tell you later." His eyes took on a serious cast. "Do you hate the Light Force now? Even if this is a test?"

"And what if it isn't?"

"Who was it that said to me that if is the only word a thousand letters long? That was you, wasn't it? In all seriousness, Qui-Gon, you know better than to dwell in what-ifs. You're more learned than that and more intelligent. So, do you still hate the Light Force?"

"I can't just stop being angry." Qui-Gon's eyes widened a little. "I just contradicted a basic Jedi tenant, didn't I?" He looked both amused and thoroughly shocked.

"That's what it sounded like where I'm standing. Sitting. What are you going to do about it?"

"Meditate." Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan's cheek. "The right way, instead of stewing." He closed his eyes. "By the Force, I was seriously considering…"

"What?"

Qui-Gon's eyes opened and the shock hadn't left his eyes. "Looking for an alternative to the Light Force, a way to save you outside the Light Force."

"All Jedi are tempted at some point in their lives, usually more than once."

"This is my second time, and like when Tahl died, it was brought about by anger against what I perceived to be a mistake made by the Force."

"Well, if you're going to challenge an omnipresent, omniscient, universal truth, how else are you going to do it besides with anger?" Obi-Wan drew Qui-Gon close and kissed him. "Whatever the Light Force's will, let it be done." A flicker of shadow crossed his face, and he felt it. Wondering if Qui-Gon would see it, he turned his head away.

"Yes, let it be done, but you don't have to like it. Is that it?"

Obi-Wan met his lover's gaze. "If the Force is going to retreat from me and teach me a lesson, my only prayer is that the Force will not also ask me to submit to rape until It comes back to strengthen me. True, I endured molestation and even rape before I could feel the Force living inside me, but I'm not anxious for that to happen again." He bit his lip, conveying more anxiety than words could. "Is that selfish or fear-mongering?"

Qui-Gon held Obi-Wan, urging the younger man to rest his head against his lover's chest. "Oh, Obi mine… No, Obi. No. It's honesty. No Jedi is without fear all the time, without a desire to be safe." Qui-Gon began to rain soft kisses on Obi-Wan's forehead.

They'd narrowly avoided danger. Obi-Wan knew this. Still, even as he lifted his head to return his lover's kisses, he knew neither of them had made any progress that day. He could still sense Qui-Gon's anger, not through the Force, but with that long-forgotten intuition that he'd had as a young boy. _We're going to have to face these demons eventually. _He relaxed against Qui-Gon. _And that's going to happen within the first ten hours of our arrival back on Coruscant, unless I miss my guess. Light Force, be with us. And be with our padawans. What affects us affects them, and I have a feeling that what's coming will be much more than a conversation with Yoda. Protect us, Force, and when our lives change as they must soon, give us the strength to meet those changes head-on, without hesitation, and without anger or fear._

Then, his prayer sent out, Obi-Wan gave himself fully to Qui-Gon's kisses and abandoned all thoughts of the future. Just as he knew changes were coming, he knew those changes would separate he and his lover again, maybe for a shorter time, maybe for years again, or even longer.

oOo

When the ship landed, Obi-Wan took Anakin away from all the others, telling Master Zee they could all meet up at the council chamber in half an hour, if that was well with the master. Even in the midst of his own crisis, Zee felt Obi-Wan's need for that half hour, and so he agreed, promising to pass the message to the rest of the team.

Obi-Wan's feeling about the future had hardened into certainty, and so he wanted to be alone with his padawan. No matter how much time or space separated him from Qui-Gon, they would mend. But if the separation came for him and Anakin, Obi-Wan wanted to know that he'd said everything that could be said.

He took Anakin to the Garden of Light and, sitting on the same bench he and Qui-Gon had settled on to talk of things past and things to come, he began to speak to his padawan. He spoke not of separation, but of abiding in the Force, listening to its voice. And he spoke of the boy trusting his instincts and his allies.

"I fear you've gained my reticence," he said.

Anakin shook his head. "Master, you talk to everyone, and you're open to what they have to say."

"But I am always on guard, Anakin. You cannot tell me you haven't noticed that."

Anakin agreed that this was so. "But you've been attacked in Temple not once, but twice. How can you be expected to trust people without question? We're supposed to learn from the past without dwelling on it. You've done that. And if I'm reti… whatever-you-said, I just know that people aren't always what they appear. That doesn't mean I don't make friends-" he blushed- "well, that I won't start making friends now. Ferus and I will become friends, I think. He cares as much for Qui-Gon as I care for you. It just means that I have a healthy dose of caution. What's wrong with that? You're the one who said the Jedi walk in the Light, but acknowledge at all times that Darkness presses on them on all sides, even in the best-lit places, even at Temple."

Obi-Wan gave his padawan a rueful smile. "I did, didn't I? And it isn't that I would undo all that, or even some of it. I suppose I can't stand the fact that you're growing up." His smile was gone and he said in all seriousness, "Anakin, if you go along as you have been, dedicated to your studies, making progress in the areas of patience and peaceful thinking, you will find yourself a Knight before too many more years go by. I'm fighting that by telling you to let your guard down. I want, in a way that no master should ever want this for his student, to keep you a boy forever, my padawan forever." His eyes shone with something dangerously close to tears. "Not because I don't think you can handle it." But how to explain that he wanted to remember Anakin just like this without betraying the secret that they might not see each other for a time? Failing to answer that question, Obi-Wan said, "I don't know how to explain myself, Anakin. Please just believe that I have faith in you, and I am honored to have you as a padawan."

Anakin smiled a little, but his eyes were troubled. "It sounds like you think I'll be a Knight tomorrow."

_By the time I see you next, you may very well be. _"Time slips away, it seems. One minute, you're nine, now you're fourteen. Another jump like that will happen. I'll wake up to find you nineeen someday soon."

Anakin's gaze was even more troubled. He glanced around, nodded to himself, and scooted closer to Obi-Wan, taking his hands.

Surprised, Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak, but Anakin shook his head.

"Wait, Master. Please." He checked around them again, then said, his eyes intense, "Obi, why are you talking like this? You're not philosophical like this, and you're not- what's that word?- remorseful?" He sighed, muttered, "Not what I meant. Obi, you're not…" He grimaced in frustration.

"Nostalgic?" _He sees right through me. If I must tell him all that's coming, let me be right, Light Force. Let me not tell him something that isn't going to happen._

"What's that?"

"Nostalgic means to spend too much time thinking about the past, or moaning over the fact that time's moving too fast."

"Yes. Nostolgic. Obi, what's wrong? Please tell me."

_Haven't we always been able to be honest? Is that what you're asking, padawan mine? Yes, we have ever been able. _"I'm reluctant to tell you what may be coming, not only because it may not happen, but because I am not sure how to console you. I can't even console myself."

Anakin's grip on Obi-Wan's hands was painfully tight. "You're not leaving the Jedi, are you? I'm sure the Force will come back to you. Even if this isn't a test, even if the Force has been pushed away from you somehow, we'll figure it out. We'll save you. I will. I swear."

Obi-Wan pulled his hands from Anakin's and grasped the boy's shoulders. "Slow down, Anakin, and listen." He waited until Anakin had taken a shaky breath. "I'm not leaving the Jedi Order. I'm not. Even if the Force left me completely-"

Anakin looked down. "I thought it had."

Seeing Anakin like that, unsure and worried, made Obi-Wan's heart ache. Past the pain, he offered a reassuring smile. "No, padawan mine. I have the same connection to the Force I had when I was six or seven years old, but that isn't _no_ connection at all. It's weak, but it exists." Seeing that Anakin was convinced, or at least a little comforted, Obi-Wan went on, "I will never leave the Jedi. With Yoda's permission, I would always abide here at Temple."

He sighed. It was time to confess. "But I may not be able to stay here. I am filled with a conviction that I'll be going away for a while."

"Without me?"

"Yes. I don't know where, or why, but I'll be going, most likely alone."

Anakin shook his head. "I won't let you." His eyes glittered with purpose. "I won't let you."

Obi-Wan longed to reach out to his padawan through their bond. "Anakin-"

"I won't let you leave. I need you here."

"Padawan mine, you need to-"

"No!" Anakin's eyes flashed. "I won't let you leave."

Not caring if they were seen just then, Obi-Wan pulled Anakin into his arms and cradled him close. Anakin tensed in the circle of his arms, but as Obi-Wan rubbed his padawan's back and concentrated on his breathing, wanting Anakin to sense his general calm, the boy leaned against his master.

Anakin's breath hitched. "I don't want you to go, Obi. Please. Who's going to take care of you?"

"As much as you won't like this answer right now, it's the truth: the Force will take care of me."

"Well, it's done a shitty job so far."

Obi-Wan laid his cheek against Anakin's hair. "We will both make peace with this separation. I know it, and I have faith that you are as capable as I am of getting through this." He lifted Anakin's head with gentle fingers. "Getting through this doesn't mean we won't be lonely, we won't want to go back, or that we won't be angry or afraid sometimes. It means only that we will seek peace in the Force, and hope for the day we see each other again." He urged Anakin to lean against him again, and he breathed in the good, clean smell of his padawan's hair. "I love you, Ani. As your master, as your friend, even, if you'll forgive me, as your father, I love you."

"I love you, too." Anakin hugged Obi-Wan fiercely. "Do you mind if I ask another question?"

"Ask anything."

"Who's going to take care of me? Will I have another master?"

"Yes, Anakin. The Council will find one for you. If I'm allowed, I'll offer my own recommendation."

"Who would you put me with?" Anakin hadn't yet pulled away.

"If Knight Reeft would take you, it's him I'd recommend. We went through Temple together, the same class of younglings, and though he hasn't has a padawan yet, I'm sure he'd make a good one."

Anakin snuggled closer, like a boy half his age. "What's he like?"

Obi-Wan chuckled. "He's much like Ryn-yn: able to see a problem from ten different diections. He's like Qui-Gon: connected to the Living Force and full of passion. And he's like me: decently patient-"

"You're the most patient Jedi ever to go through Temple. Master Bant told me."

"I'd give that honor to Yoda, but-" Obi-Wan shrugged, unable to deny that he was pleased. "Into that mix, add a hunger for life and adventure that is unmatched, and you'll have a good idea of what Knight Reeft is like. Of course, you can't really know someone until you meet him for yourself."

"Would he like me, do you think?"

Obi-Wan's laugh bubbled up and out even as he tried to hold it in. After all, Anakin wouldn't understand the joke, wouldn't understand that Reeft was the most affable, and yet demanding Jedi he'd ever met. If Reeft said "run two hundred city blocks," you'd run it, just because of the fierce look in his eyes. "Reeft likes everyone."

"Would you be gone for the rest of my apprenticeship?" A soft sniffle.

Titling Anakin's face up, Obi-Wan kissed the boy's brow. "I pray not, but I'd be lying if I promised to be back." He wiped away the few tears that had trickled down Anakin's cheeks.

The boy sniffed hard. "Jedi aren't supposed to cry."

"Why not? Qui-Gon cried when Ahleh died, when Tahl died, when I was close to death on Fregala. Jedi try always to be strong in the sight of the injustice of the universe, but that doesn't mean we lie to ourselves. Crying is an expression of what you feel. Cry now, then reach out to the Force and look for a way to work through your sorrow." His hands traveled up and down Anakin's back again, soothing. "Sadness is just like anger: you may be able to dispel it. But sometimes, you have to work through it, channel your thoughts in another direction and wait for whatever you're feeling to wear itself out."

"You never told that before. You always told me to release my anger."

"Can't even masters learn new things? Being attacked by ber'Nac reminded me of the time after Xanatos died on Telos. Even though I'd seen him die, I had to be told- twice- that he was dead. And each time, I forgot. Fear ruled my thoughts. And even after I remembered that he was dead, fear came to me every night as I lay in bed for almost a year. Only Qui-Gon's reassurance that memories get tired gave me hope that it would be over some day. And emotions are just like that. The weaker ones- temporary frustration, for example- can be dispersed by releasing them into the Force. And more often you disperse those little ones, the better you'll be at dispersing bigger ones: anger at an enemy for hurting you or a friend, even loss, to a certain degree. And for the rest, there's learning to work through each emotion: meditating on its release, then getting along with your day, releasing each tiny bit of the emotion thatrises to the surface. So when you need ot cry, cry. When you feel like you need to move to release your anger, move."

Anakin nodded against Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Okay, Obi. I'll try. I promise I will." A pause. "But, you told all of us on the hsip that you think Xanatos is alive now. Right?"

"Yes."

"So are you afraid still?"

Obi-Wan smiled. Trust Anakin to ask that question. "Yes, Padawan, I am. My fear is much less than it was when I was a padawan- I barely think on it now- but it is still a tiny kernel floating around in my mind."

"Will that fear ever go away completely?"

"That's a question only the Force can answer. Like asking, 'Will a man who has broken his leg in ten places ever be able to dance again?' that's a question no one except the Force can know." He closed his eyes for a moment, making sure his next wouldn't come out overly cheerful. "It's time we headed to the Council Chamber." He didn't release Anakin, letting his padawan choose that moment. It was one last lesson he could teach Anakin: how to know when a decision needed to be made even when it was painful.

Anakin moved still closer. "Obi?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. More than anything. Even, sometimes, I think, more than the Force." He looked up, met his master's gaze. "I know that's wrong, and I'll meditate about it and try to make the Force first, but… Are you angry with me?"

"For honesty? Never. And trust me, Anakin: when you come to a place in your life where the Force is the only thing you have, your priorities will switch. You're too young to have been in a place where you've needed the Force more than you've needed me or the things I've taught you. But that time comes to every Jedi."

"I want to know when yours came, but we don't have time." Anakin pulled away, dashed away the remaining tears. Then he held out his hand. "The Jedi promise- how do I make it?"

"You don't need to make hat promise unless you're planning to go a different direction than you have been."

"I'm not doing that, so I'll just promise this, and it means just as much as the Jedi promise. I promise I'll follow your teachings, and that I'll never leave the Jedi path."

Obi-Wan rose, took out his lightsaber, and touched the handle to Anakin's shoulder. "Promise sealed," he said softly, and he bowed.

Anakin rose and bowed, then, one final time, moved into Obi-Wan's arms. "I love you, Obi."

Obi-Wan's voice broke, and he let it stand rather than clear his throat and ruin this last private moment together. "I love you, too, Anakin." And, when the boy had drawn back, Obi-Wan said, "Everything works out in obedience to the Light Force. And the Light Force is the source of all good things."

Anakin nodded. "I'll learn to believe that."

As one, in unconscious lock-step, they left the garden.

They came to the Council Chamber in this way, Anakin not a step behind. The rest of the team to Rept'thik was waiting there, but none said anything. A sense of coming grief had settled over all of them, except perhaps Adee, who seemed more distracted then grieved. His eyes were on Zee, but his expression was tense, and his tail twitched.

Zee, for his part, didn't move, didn't look at the approaching master and padawan, didn't meet his brother's gaze. His head was slightly bent, and his eyes were cast down.

Obi-Wan stopped beside Qui-Gon and waited. He sensed Anakin and Ferus exchange a glance and wondered what they were telling each other. _Force, be with us. Thank you._

The doors to the chamber opened, revealing Mace Windu waiting for them. "We will speak with Padawan Ferus and Padawan Anakin."

Anakin hesitated even as Ferus started forward. "Master?" he whispered.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Go ahead, Padawan mine. All's well." _Though if I'd known they were going to speak to you directly, I wouldn't have brought all this up to stir your thoughts._

When Anakin and Ferus were behind the closed doors, Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan. "Do you feel it?" he asked. "A change is coming, and it's going to affect the four of us." He nodded towards the doors.

"I feel something," Obi-Wan answered carefully. "Wasn't it you that said not to invest too much in thoughts of the future?"

"Yes." Qui-Gon grasped Obi-Wan's shoulders. "But you and I are going to be separated again, and I can't just ignore that or say that the Force will bring us together again. I don't want to lose you again so soon, but it's more than that. Who-"

""Who's going to protect me?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "You seem to have already been confronted with that question."

"Anakin asked."

"At least he'll be there for you."

"I'm not a fragile glass statue, love." Obi-Wan cloaked the touch of frustration with a smile. No need to start a fight they might never get to apologize for. "That aside, I'll be separated from Anakin too, I think, unless the conviction I feel is completely of my own invention."

"It could be." Qui-Gon sighed. "But it probably isn't, even though the Force has abandoned you."

"Not completely. But we've already been through that. Qui-Gon?"

"Will you hold me this one last time? When Anakin and Ferus return, our thoughts will have to be completely for them."

Zee cleared his throat, and the two younger Jedi turned to him. "You can't, Master Kenobi," he said. "The chances of you being seen are too great."

Obi-Wan bowed his head, stood still for a moment, then nodded and turned his eyes back to Qui-Gon. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Obi mine. I will always love you."

"Promise me you'll pursue peace with the Force."

"The Jedi make no promises unless they can keep them," Adee said.

"Shh," from Zee, who had moved close to his brother.

"I promise."

Obi-Wan nodded. "And I promise that when I meet something that I can't fight alone, I'll look for help." He reached out, stopped himself, drew back, folding his hands into the sleeves of his tunic.

Qui-Gon didn't even look around, but surged forward like a wave, wrapping Obi-Wan in his strong arms, kissing his lover deep enough to steal the younger man's breath. The embrace and kiss lasted only five seconds, but that was enough time. When Qui-Gon stepped back, both of them looked calmer, ready to face the future.

_Light Force, please be with my lover. Protect him, uphold him, strengthen him._

oOo

Anakin stood beside Ferus, unconsciously standing as his master had when he himself was a padawan: hands clasped in front of him, his head up, his eyes on Yoda alone. He sensed Ferus shift a little before settling. Ferus, Anakin realized, had probably never faced the Council without his master. Anakin had been asked to do just that three times, once for his initial testing, and twice after he did something stupid. So though he was nervous, he wasn't as anxious as he might have been.

"Padawans, will you give us an account of the mission?" Ki Adi Mundi said.

Anakin hesitated, wondering if Ferus was supposed to go first because he was older. After a moment, Ferus began to speak, giving an overview of the mission, telling about the Dark Force concentration which they'd sensed, and which had dissipated before they left, though they hadn't caused that. He avoided telling about ber'Nac's attack on Obi-Wan, saying only that Obi-Wan had been captured by a human. "But by the time Qui-Gon and I arrived, the human was dead and Master Obi-Wan… He was hurt. Anakin and I returned to the ship for supplies while Master Qui-Gon stayed with Master Obi-Wan. When we returned, Master Obi-Wan had regained some of his strength."

He told of meeting with the Grand Patriarch and the rest of the royal family. "Master Obi-Wan talked them into peace. The rest of us barely had to say anything, though Master Zee and Master Qui-Gon helped, too." He paused. "Master Obi-Wan had made progress with the Grand Patriarch's daughter, Thann-ella, and with her support, he was able to teach the rest of the royal family about the difference between the Dark Force and the Light Force. We offered to stay as long as we were needed, but the Grand Patriarch insisted that they would be able to follow the Light Force. I think… That is, it seemed like most of them were just glad to be rid of us."

"Accurate your report is, but because uncomfortable you are, left out much detail you did, Padawan Ferus," Yoda said. "Tell more would you care to, Padawan Anakin?"

Anakin saw Ferus flush out of the corner of his eye, and he resisted the impulse to defend the other padawan. "ber'Nac took Master Obi-Wan. ber'Nac arrived at the secret compound where Thann-ella had built her resistance, like Ferus said, and he attacked, using two Repticonns to help him fight. He put a Force-collar on Master Obi-Wan and took him. Thann-ella caught one of the Repticonns- or killed him; I'm not sure which- but the other escaped." He swallowed. Here came the hard part, and he understood why Ferus hadn't wanted to talk about it. "ber'Nac raped Master Obi-Wan. He didn't do it like most would do it: just skin to skin. He raped Master Obi-Wan with the Dark Force, using the Dark Force like some sort of invisible Force lightning."

"How do you know that?" Mace's hands gripped each other, knuckles white. Even as Anakin watched, the master relaxed his hands, but his eyes continued to burn.

"Master Obi-Wan told me. I came to rescue him. I was closer than the other two teams."

"Waited for back-up you did not?" Yoda asked.

Anakin knew he'd probably be punished. "No, Master, I didn't wait. Master Qui-Gon told me to, but I didn't listen." When Yoda didn't say anything, Anakin went on. "I followed the Dark Force footprints to a building that looked like a cottage. It had stone floors and stone walls. But there was a secret basement. I went down into it. ber'Nac saw me, though, and wanted to know who I was." Anakin wanted to bite his lip. "He was standing by a bed, and his lightsaber blade was close to Master Obi-Wan's throat. I could see the Force-collar my master still wore. Obi-Wan… He was naked." He lowered his gaze for a moment, steadied himself as best he could, then looked up, his eyes on Yoda once more. "I said things I would have never thought to say on my own. It was like the Light Force was feeding me the right words. With the help of the Force, I distracted ber'Nac while Master Obi-Wan opened the Force collar."

"With the Dark Force," Ki-Adi-Mundi whispered.

Anakin shook his head. "No. With the Light Force. Master Obi-Wan told me that since the Force is everywhere, inside us to, he called on the Force inside him to open the collar. I think he was at it for a while before I arrived. While I talked to ber'Nac, Obi-Wan opened the collar and the manacles that held him. ber'Nac was distracted by what I was saying and didn't notice anything. Master Obi-Wan stole the lightsaber from ber'Nac by using the Light Force, and moved out of ber'Nac's reach." Anakin's heart was racing; it was as if he was back into the subterranean room again. "But ber'Nac used the Dark Force to take the lightsaber back and he jumped at Obi. I thought he was going ot kill Obi, so I leapt at him."

His hands were shaking, and he could barely talk. Closing his eyes, he opened himself to the Light Force, asking it to take his fear and anger. He wasn't sure if it would work, but he'd promised Obi-Wan that he would try to trust the Force more, so why not start now?

The Light Force took all the fear and anger he felt.

Emptied, shocked, Anakin breathed out, realizing he'd been holding that breath for fear that the Force wouldn't hear him or help him. _Okay, _he thought, _so trusting it really works. _Except that wasn't working for Obi-Wan right now, and Anakin couldn't forget that fact, no matter how he tried. Centering himself, remembering where he was and why, he said, "The Dark Force surged around me, and, I think, in me. I was angry. I wanted to kill ber'Nac for what he did to my master. And I did. I killed ber'Nac. With my lightsaber and my master's."

Yoda's expression didn't change.

"Master Obi-Wan talked me out of my fury and I let it go." He took in a breath, searched for the right words, found them. "I regret that I killed ber'Nac. It is wrong to kill anyone, and to do so in anger is doubly wrong. I will gratefully accept any penance the Council sees fit to bestow."

"Why driven to such anger were you?"

A trick question, the same one Obi-Wan had asked, basically, and this time, Anakin knew how to answer it. "I allowed myself to indulge in anger. I allowed what ber'Nac did to my master to anger me. When I saw that he had made Master Obi-Wan bleed, I stopped listening to the Light Force and listened instead to my own emotions."

Yoda nodded, turned his eyes to the rest of the Council.

Mace asked, "Are there other questions for these two?"

The rest of the council members shook their heads.

"Then we'll let the four masters enter." Mace turned his gaze on Ferus. "Let them in, will you?"

Ferus went to the door; Anakin didn't turn, though he wanted to see his master now, wanted to make sure Obi-Wan was all right. They'd had times where they were separated in the Force, where he couldn't sense his master's thoughts, but just then, all he could feel through the Force was a dim place where Obi-Wan's bright connection should have been.

The swishing of robes behind him, then Obi-Wan was standing beside him and a half-step ahead. Qui-Gon and Ferus stood to their left. Zee and Adee stood off to their right, shoulder-to-shoulder.

"Know much about your mission now we do. And the time for discussing it in greater detail is not now. Conceded without fight Rept'thik was, and troubling this is, but our concern just now that is not." He paused. "Master Obi-Wan, broke a Force-collar from the inside you did?"

"Yes, Master."

"Used the Light Force you did?"

"Yes, Master."

"Because injured you are, ask you to demonstrate I will not."

_Injured? The Force left him! _Anakin opened his mouth.

"Keep your peace, Anakin," said Qui-Gon in a voice that sounded as though he was trying very hard to take his own advice.

"Sense your general distress I do," Yoda said, still speaking to Obi-Wan. "And yet, attempting to remain calm you are. When did your connection to the Force weaken?"

"Shortly after I was free of the Force collar. At first, I could feel the Force all around me, but within a minute, my connection began to break down."

"Feel the Force inside can you?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment. "No," he said at last. "Instinct and trust tell me It is there, and all around me, but I can't feel it."

"Hmmm." Yoda rose from his chair and hobbled forward. "Kneel." When Obi-Wan was before him, the old Master put his hands on the man's shoulders and closed his eyes. Everything in the room was still.

oOo

As Anakin had noticed, reaching out to Obi-Wan was like finding a dim and flickering bulb where only a day ago a bright light had been. But Yoda didn't let this distract or stop him. Instead, he connected directly to Obi-Wan's mind, not bothering to see if the young master could reach out in return. _Obi-Wan? Hear me you can?_

_Yes, Master. _Obi-Wan had closed his own eyes. He trusted himself to keep his expression neutral, but he couldn't guarantee that his eyes would do the same. Just being alone with Yoda, even if it was in their minds, made him want to reveal everything that had happened and everything he'd felt.

_Raped again you were._

_Yes, Master._ His control was slipping. He could feel it.

_Want us alone I do. Walk with me can you?_

In the physical world, Obi-Wan stood. Eyes still closed, following only the tug in his mind, he walked behind Yoda into the antechamber. The door closed behind them. He was told to sit cross-legged on the floor, and so he did. Then Yoda, doing something he had only done for one other Jedi, crawled into Obi-Wan's lap and urged Obi-Wan to hold him.

_How much must I say before release your pain you will? Cry you need to, and release the control on your emotions you must if heal you are going to. _His long fingers trailed up, stroking Obi-Wan's cheek.

_Master-! _Obi-Wan's shock was plain.

_Bizarre this is? Another way to encourage you to let go do you know? _Yoda's mental tone gentled. _Love you I always have, Obi-Wan. Release this pain I want you to. Only in releasing it can you move forward._

_Forward to what? Where will I go? What will happen to me? What will happen to Anakin?_

_Answer that I cannot until release all your feelings you do. And I mean _all _of them. Terror. Sadness. Anger. Feeling dirty. Hate. All of them._

_You have already named all the ones I feel. _The dam trembled in Obi-Wan's mind, but he held it for one final request. _Please don't let anyone else hear this. Not Qui-Gon, and definitely not Anakin._

Yoda paused, and Obi-Wan almost thought he heard the echo of some message Yoda had sent. _Yes, _Yoda said. _A message it was. Mace kept the others from intruding or listening in will._

_Thank you. _The dam gave then, but Obi-Wan was able, in some small way, to control the flood. He gave Yoda the hope first. _Ferus thought that maybe the Force is testing me. Maybe that's why I have the connection I did when I was seven._

_A possibility. Go on._

No more control. _Raped again _and _abandoned _and _Yoda, please _flew from his mind to Yoda's.

The older master seized Obi-Wan's fear and focused that. _Give all of this to me. Say it all._

Obi-Wan sent everything for almost five minutes, letting his heart race, letting his eyes fill with tears, letting his arms around Yoda tighten. He barely felt the bony fingers that brushed away his tears. This thought kept coming back: _If someone rapes me while I'm like this, I'll give up, do whatever they want, whenever they want, and for however long. I'll be the whore the Force wants me to be._

He repeated this a dozen times, then a new thought joined it, bringing more fear, but also fueling his anger: _Is this what the Force wanted? Did It leave me so I'd have no choice but to be the whore It wants me to be?_

Yoda absorbed all this, then drew it forth from Obi-Wan's mind like poison from a wound. _My youngling, _he murmured. _So much you have endured. _His sorrow came down the link between them. _Ask the Force that question you and I will before done here we are._

_And if the Force doesn't answer?_

Yoda's eyes narrowed, and though Obi-Wan couldn't see this, he sensed it. _If at all within my power it is, encourage the Force to answer I will. _He laid his cheek against Obi-Wan's chest and sent, his tone gentle, _If within my power it is, protect you I will. Not allow you to be taken again will I._

It was no more than Anakin had promised, but, coming from Yoda, and tempered by the master's honesty about his own lack of absolute power within the Light Force, it touched Obi-Wan and brought his anguish to the fore. _Is this all I'm good for? Whoring? Master, please tell me I'm meant for something more than that! I don't know if I can accept being a whore. _He shivered. _I know: as a Jedi, I should accept anything the Force tells me and not fight it, but… _His anger rose then, shattering his grief. _The Force shouldn't ask this of me! I know It's all-powerful, and It's supposed to know best, but I'm not meant to be a whore! I'm meant to be Anakin's master! Or at least a Jedi Knight who is allowed to go through life without having to give himself time after time, a thousand times over._

Yoda was silent, waiting.

_The Light Force gives and the Light Force takes away- I've known that since childhood, and I have no problem with that. Even if the Force took someone I love, I know they would die in the Light Force and so pass into peace. But this? The Force has no right to ask this of me._

He stopped then, and shuddered. _Unless I'm calling them to me somehow. _The thought made him want to throw up. _I could be calling them. I called Xanatos by looking lost and afraid. I offered myself to ber'Nac the first time, and the second time I was asking for trouble because I didn't call Anakin when I could have. As for Telka and Count Dooku… I called them by being weak and looking lost._

Yoda sat back, glared up at Obi-Wan, whose eyes were still closed, then pulled his arm back and slapped the younger Jedi across the face.

Obi-Wan's eyes flickered open, but he didn't move, didn't react. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Yoda slapped him again.

This time, Obi-Wan blinked, then bowed his head. "Please," he whispered, and then he was still again.

"What do you ask?"

"Please. Let me stay here at Temple, safe. I know Temple isn't safe, not really, but it's safer than out there. And without the Force, without protection-" He swallowed. "I'm sorry, Master. I didn't mean-"

"Stop." Yoda grabbed the front of Obi-Wan's tunic. "Think. Consider yourself a whore you do?"

"Yes. If I didn't call them-"

Yoda slapped him a third time. "Answer only the questions I ask. Understand?"

Softly: "Yes, Master."

"Listen. Called them you did not. Called them the Dark Force did." He waited a moment, but when Obi-Wan didn't say anything, Yoda slapped him again. "Repeat after me you will. Asked for the attacks I did not."

"Asked for the attacks I did not." Voice soft, eyes still downcast.

"Believe that you do not. Say it again."

"Asked for the attacks I did not."

"Believe it still you do not?"

"No, Master." _How can I? Surely the Force, which only gives good things, wouldn't ask me to be a whore. I must be asking for it._

"True that is not. Repeat again."

"Asked for the attacks I did not."

"Perfect the Force is, but always ask us to do good things it does not. The Force asks difficult things of us. Give up certain things we must: complete freedom of thought and movement, allegiance to a particular world, love of one or ttwo people above all else. Asks for many sacrifices the Light Force does. Repeat again."

"Asked for the attacks I did not."

"A target you are. A target the Light Force did not make you, but a target it is allowing you to be. Repeat again."

"Asked for the attacks I did not. But, Master, if that's true, then the Force is allowing me to be a whore to serve Its purpose."

"True that is."

"And if I don't want to be a whore?"

"Even if to leave the Jedi Order you were, follow you the Dark Force would."

"Because the Light Force is letting it."

"True."

Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed, and he pushed himself up, not caring for the moment that he spilled Yoda onto the floor. He took three steps back from Yoda until he was against the far wall. "The Light Force is allowing this, and nothing I do will stop it?"

"Two ways to stop it there are: kill yourself or join the Dark Side."

Obi-Wan's voice, quiet and tight, carried easily. "When you can only get rid of a chain by not existing or becoming one of the slavers, you're wearing a chain heavy as the whole universe." His lips pressed together in a line. "That's too much." He took out his lightsaber, gazed at it for a moment, then, weeping again, hurled it across the room. "Damn the Light Force! Damn the fucking Light Force!" His anger leapt out, crashing against Yoda, against the walls of the anteroom. "The Force demands and It allows and It insists that I serve, and there's nothing I can do to avoid being Its pawn! Damn You!" His eyes were lifted to the ceiling, and his hands were raised in fists. "How can You demand this of me? What did I do wrong? Is it because I'm not strong enough? Fine! Just kill me! But don't do this to me anymore! I don't care if You leave me- I'll always be loyal to You. But I won't to be Your whore! Find someone else!"

He fell to his knees, and then lay flat, face cradled in his hands. "Please, Force," he whispered. "Please. Don't use me again. I'm not strong enough. If You would kill me, do that, but don't make me surrender my body again. Anything but that. Death. Torture. Doubt. Leaving the Jedi. Any of those, but don't let another man rape me."

There was stillness in the room for a moment, then Yoda spoke, and his voice, though it was his, seemed also to come from that Other, the one who had spoken to Obi-Wan about Qui-Gon's coming death. "Either you are raped or three that you love must be taken to the Dark Side. Which will you choose?"

"Three?" Obi-Wan still hid his face. "Who?"

"Choose."

The young master sobbed, then pushed himself to his hands and knees. Staring across the room at Yoda, he said, "I can have a choice? Without going to the Dark Side myself?"

"Yes."

He sat back on his heels, closed his eyes. Tears continued to escape from under his eyelids. "I'll be a whore until I die?"

"Choose."

The Force would answer some questions and not others. Obi-Wan noticed this, and saw that when he asked a question the Force wouldn't answer, it told him to choose. "Will You return to me?"

"In time."

"And if I allow myself to be a whore-"

"You fight every time, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are not a whore. You are a vassal. I give you charge over property that is mine, and in return, you serve my universe."

He considered everything as well as he could, remembering how it felt to have ber'Nac take him, how it felt to teach Anakin something new about the Force. "I've made my choice, but may I ask one more question?"

"Ask."

"The Force collar. Why was I able to break it and no one else has ever done as much? The way to break it is so simple."

"Your method doesn't work for most Jedi. That's all you need to know now."

"Will it work for Anakin?"

"Make your choice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. There is no more time for talk."

Obi-Wan took a steadying breath. He didn't wipe the tear tracks from his cheeks. "I will serve the Light Force in all ways. Use me as You will."

Yoda blinked, rose to his feet, and shook himself like a wet dog. Grunting, he steadied himself on his gimmer stick. "Hmmph," he muttered, moving to where Obi-Wan knelt. "Honored I am to be a vessel for the Force, but strange to speak that way it was." He put his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders. "Your questions answered were?"

"The important ones, yes." Obi-Wan used his sleeve to wipe away the evidence of his tears. His hand wasn't steady. "I'm so afraid to go back out there and face the universe again. Now I know for sure that I'll never be free of those who want to take me."

Yoda's stick moved, aiming for Obi-Wan's head. The younger master ducked. "Hmmmph. Regaining your wits you are. But not completely. Said that the Force did not. Did the Force you that serve until you died you must?"

"No." Obi-Wan blushed to be caught so soon in a mistake he could have easily avoided.

"Then believe that you will not. From now until you die your destiny set in stone is not." He held out a hand. "Rise you can?"

Obi-Wan allowed Yoda to help him to his feet. He sensed rather than felt Yoda use the Force to help him up. "Thank you, Master." He bowed.

"Thank the Force you should."

_Thank you, Force._

Yoda's gimmer stick came out again, swinging for Obi-Wan's ankles. The young master leapt like a hart, his movement graceful despite the lack of Force in him. "Hmmph. Think you are weak without the Force assisting your every movement? True that is not." He frowned. "Though deserved a bruise you did. Dumped me like a pack you did."

Obi-Wan blushed again. "I'm sorry, Master."

"Forgive you I will." Yoda leaned on his stick. "Going out into the universe you will be again. Stay here you cannot. And alone you will be soon."

"How soon?"

"A week." Yoda gestured for Obi-Wan to kneel again so that they could look at each other. "A sabbatical you are going to take. Sent me that much the Force did. To a planet I know well I will take you, and there I will give you the instructions for your time away from the Jedi." He leaned forward. "Understand that the Force watching out for all Jedi is. This time good for Anakin will be. Good for Qui-Gon. Good for Ferus. Good for Master Zee. For others, perhaps, though about them the Force did not speak."

"Ferus? Master Zee? How does my leaving affect them?"

"Directly and indirectly. Going away to study the Force Qui-Gon will also be, and his padawan another master will have for a time." Yoda coughed. "And now, strong you must be, Obi-Wan. Tell the others I must."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master." He closed his eyes for a moment. _Force, please be with all of us: Yoda, Qui-Gon, Zee, Ferus, Anakin, and me. Thank you._

oOo

The ships were leaving within five minutes of each other. Qui-Gon would pilot one alone. The other Obi-Wan would pilot, though Yoda was going with him. The Council members alone knew where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had been sent. (It must be admitted that the padawans knew, too, but they had been commanded not to tell anyone.) And now, as a chill, but mercifully light, wind raced across the launching platform, final goodbyes had to be said.

Anakin stood with his new master, his eyes red-rimmed fro crying, his hands shaking as he struggled to hold in his fear, sadness and anger. Zee hadn't given him permission to move yet, and so he stood still, but he prayed Obi-Wan would come to him one last time and hold him, tell him everything would be all right just one more time.

Nearby, Ferus stood with his new master, Reeft, and gazed at Qui-Gon. His thoughts were of a different sort than Anakin's. He could read the anger in Qui-Gon's tightly-clenched jaw, and so he thought, _Force, help him. Help my master and stay with him. Teach him. Protect me and teach me so that I'll be worthy to work with him when he comes back, changed, stronger, closer to you. Please, Force: help him. Help us both._

Yoda spoke then, drawing all attention. "A last goodbye perhaps painful would be. Let you choose I will."

Obi-Wan didn't hesitate. He strode to Anakin's side and wrapped his arms tight around the boy. "Be strong, Anakin. Call on the Force. It is the Force that will strengthen me and bring me back to you. Have faith."

Anakin breathed out most of what he felt. "Be safe, Obi. Please be safe. I'll ask the Force every day to protect you."

"When you're asking that, ask the Force also to give us both what we need to grow, and to bring us back together before long. I will do the same. And I'll also be asking the Force to be with you in all things."

"I love you." Anakin stepped back, stood straight.

"I love you, Padawan mine. May the Force be with you."

"And with you."

Qui-Gon spoke only one phrase to his padawan: "May the Force be with you."

"May it be with you, Master Qui-Gon."

Then Qui-Gon was gone. He didn't speak to Obi-Wan. Anything they would have wanted to say wouldn't have been appropriate here. Qui-Gon's ship took off first.

Obi-Wan and Yoda entered their ship.

Anakin and Ferus stood on the platform with their masters until the two ships were out of sight.


	24. The Lonely Years 1

Author's Note: Enjoy!

The Lonely Years (1)

Padawan Anakin, as he was called until he turned seventeen, spent the rest of his fourteenth year hiding out. He spent more time with his machines and his various half-finished projects than he did with his new Master. Zee allowed this, knowing that Anakin was grieving. And Zee had his own reasons for keeping his distance from the boy.

Zee was partially right. Anakin was grieving, and thus sought out a place where he could be alone. But what Anakin felt at being left behind went behind such an all-encompassing word like 'grief'. During the day, his thoughts echoed with the loneliness of a small child suddenly separated from his parents. He seethed with frustration at the Force, and, yes, a little anger at Obi-Wan that his master had to be so willing to obey a thing that had only, as far as Anakin could see, caused the older man pain. Mixed in between these two was a fierce determination to do all that he'd promised Obi-Wan. But he couldn't follow the Force without being near Zee, or so he thought, and he didn't like being near the Repticonn. The Master seemed both too busy for him, and yet he always wanted to involve Anakin in everything. And even though Obi-Wan had involved Anakin in everything, Zee's need was more like that of a father who has been gone for a long time and, feeling inadequate, tries to make up for his absence by getting in the child's way. Zee watched everything Anakin did when they were together, and applauded everything Anakin did, even if it was something Anakin had learned how to do under Obi-Wan's teaching three years ago. The encouragement was nice. At first. But soon, Anakin decided that Zee wasn't going to challenge him as Obi-Wan had, that Zee wasn't going to reach out to him through the Force and see how he was feeling.

His nights that first six months burned with a fire he'd been trying to hide while Obi-Wan was still his master. But now, since Zee didn't touch his mind, didn't ask how he'd slept, he let the dreams have free rein. And now that he'd seen his master naked, he could imagine much more. In his dreams, Obi-Wan came back, offered Anakin the other half of that love he'd professed to have. Each night, Obi-Wan told Anakin that Qui-Gon had been lost to the Dark Force because of his anger. 'And now I need you more than ever, Padawan mine," he would say, and then he would kiss Anakin and lay with Anakin and tell Anakin that everything was all right. "The Force hasn't left us," he would say. "The Force celebrates our union."

They would make love, though Anakin didn't know quite how that worked. Still, he had his first wet dreams that year.

With his days confused and his nights full of longing, Anakin drifted back towards the defensive posture he'd had on Tatooine and for a short time after. He horded his emotions like a squirrel hording nuts for the winter, and he starting watching people to make sure they weren't going to hurt him.

He didn't revert completely, though, and that was mostly due to Ferus and Master Reeft.

oOo

"What did you do then?" Anakin asked, leaning forward, his eyes glowing in the light of the single candle Reeft kept burning in his room at night. Ferus sat on Anakin's right in a similar posture of rapt attention.

"Obi-Wan and I couldn't go forward or the tide would get us. I've never seen a stronger tide in my life. If we set foot in it, we'd be sucked down. Or that's what it felt like." Reef shook his head. "Our masters were above us on the top of the cliff. They might have Force-leapt down to us, but they had to protect the children who had been put in their care." He chuckled. "Craziest disaster-relief mission I've ever been on, and I'll bet Obi-Wan would say the same. Back to it, then: we didn't have our cable launchers. I don't know about Obi-Wan's, but mine had been lost in that mad dash to the bottom of the cliffs in the first place as we looked for more children. There weren't any, lucky us and them, but we'd gotten trapped. No cable launchers, no way to swim, and the tide coming in all the time. It was rise halfway up the cliffs."

"What about the path you used to get down there?" Ferus asked.

"Already flooded. But I was thinking we'd have to chance it. Then Obi-Wan- who always hadn't even a fool's common sense to be afraid of impossible heights- spotted a branch to the path. It was twenty meters up. If we could Force-leap that high, we'd be safe. There was even a ledge for us to perch on before we started up the path proper. I remember very clearly what I said. 'Obi-Wan, no! We can't make it that far! I don't know about you, but I'm not that good a jumper. And I don't feel like dying at the ripe old age of thirteen.' 'You're a great jumper,' he said. 'And you won't be jumping the whole way, because I'm going to lift you up.' And he crouched down- the water was coming behind us, almost touching Obi-Wan's ankles when he got down like that- and threaded his fingers together like a step. 'Jump, Reeft. You can do it.' 'And who's going to help you?' I knew-" Reeft smiled a little sadly- "that Obi-Wan could barely lift balls and spin them in the Force. 'The Force,' he said. 'But-' 'No time, Reeft. Go. If we debate this much longer, neither of us is going to make it.'

"And here's what I've never been proud of, what I had to spend many years meditating about before I could forgive myself: I used his hands as a step and Force-leapt to the ledge.

"Qui-Gon was there. He'd left the children with my master, Balin. That wasn't really a good idea, because the only way Balin could keep the children quiet was to put them all under the influence of the Force, and that meant they couldn't think for themselves. So if another earthquake happened, they wouldn't have the instinct that came with being a member of their race. Their race could sense when an earthquake was coming several minutes before it arrived, so they would have been able to find a better place to go than standing at the edge of an already-undercut cliff.

"But Qui-Gon wouldn't wait to see if Obi-Wan could figure it out on his own. He knew, better than I did, how impossible it would be for Obi-Wan, as he was then, to make that jump. 'Go up the path and help Balin,' he told me. I didn't go right away. I looked down, and saw that Obi-Wan had found handholds in rock that I'd thought was too smooth to climb. Then I saw that Obi-Wan was making the hand holds using the heat from his lightsaber. There wasn't time to let the stone cool before he touched it, though, so he was burning his hands as he climbed.

"Then Qui-Gon saw I was still there and ordered me up the cliff. I went, stopping halfway to look.

""He'd Force-leapt down to Obi-Wan, landing in the half-meter deep water. It nearly pulled him off his feet when it pulled out. 'Drop, Obi-Wan. I'll catch you.' Obi-Wan did, and they both almost fell when the tide surged again. But Qui-Gon sent his liquid cable up the cliff, past me, and started up, keeping Obi-Wan against him. Obi-Wan couldn't hold on fast because of his burned hands, and so Qui-Gon supported him with the Force."

Reeft smiled. "When they both reached the top, I was up there only a second or two before them. I'd never been so glad to see Obi-Wan." His eyes lost their far-away cast. "And now it's time for all padawans to go to sleep," he said, even though Ferus was almost seventeen and could basically keep his own hours. "Do you want me to walk you back to your quarters, Anakin?"

"That's all right, Master Reeft. I'll be okay." That night, when Anakin got back to his room and fell asleep, he dreamed that he was the one to Force-leap down and save Obi-Wan.

oOo

Padawan Anakin, during his fifteenth and sixteenth years, perfected his flying. He spent ninety percent of his waking hours in a ship, with Zee sitting beside him sometimes, but, more often than not, alone. He was honest enough with himself to know he was trying to outrace his sadness, which was the emotion all his other confused feelings had hardened into. Sometimes, when he was going fast enough- not in hyperspace, where there was nothing to do but sit and watch the streaking stars, but at the height of mobile flight, just before hyerspeed- he swore he could hear Obi-Wan's voice clearest, his master calling to him, talking to him, telling him how much he was missed, saying, 'Padawan mine, I'm with you always, but if you want to hear me, come here. I'll always be waiting here.'

At the age of fifteen, Anakin asked for nothing from anyone. All he needed was the ships he'd built or fixed and the openness of space, or the hair-raising closeness of Coruscant's busy lanes and byways. Either could free his mind. And when he flew, he felt closest to the Force, feeling it race around him and through, giving him life and strength and speed. When he was flying, it was easy to praise the Force and imagine that the Force was something he needed all the time, even though he didn't need it on the ground. Everything planetside was too easy, too mundane, to challenge him. And no matter what missions he went on with Zee- few and far between those were- he wasn't challenged, or his abilities stretched even a little.

And he sought flight because only there could he escape his longing for Obi-Wan.

Halfway through his sixteenth year, he had a nightmare. He had the dream half a dozen times before he finally decided he needed to talk to someone about it. He wasn't sure if it was a real thing, if it was a dream that meant exactly what it said, but he feared it might, and so he went to the one person he hoped might still be in intermittent contact with his master.

oOo

Anakin bowed before the diminutive master. The younglings behind Yoda watched him with avid interest. He'd acknowledged them with a smile as he approached, not really seeing them.

"Padawan Anakin," Yoda said, returning the bow. "Distressed you are. Speak you wish to?"

"Yes, Master. And I'm not sure it's something the younglings should hear."

"A private matter this is." Yoda nodded. "Come. Speak we will." He turned to the younglings. "Walk with us you will. Into another's care I will trust you for a short time. Return shortly I will."

"Can we help?" a little girl- seven or eight years old- asked.

"Thank you, Annie. I ask all of you, when we reach our destination, to meditate on Padawan Anakin and his problem. Ask the Force to help us find a solution." Yoda started walking, but Anakin stood still for a moment as the younglings followed, his eyes on Obi-Wan's daughter. She looked more like her papa than she had a year ago, her eyes gleaming as his did, her hair a dark red that glowed in certain light. _If she grows up to look more and more like him, her hair will lighten when it is longer so that she will have beautiful, auburn hair like a sunset._

"Meditate now I do not ask you to," Yoda called back, and Anakin, shaking himself, hurried to keep up with the master.

Five minutes later, having left the younglings with Bant and Nela, Yoda and Anakin came to the Room of a Thousand Fountains and found a quiet place to sit. Anakin knew this bench; he'd seen Yoda sit here with many a Jedi Master. But few padawans sat with Yoda here, and so Anakin took this as an honor.

"Distressed you are. Speak."

Anakin thought to speak of his dream first, but another question pressed at his lips, and he let it out. "Master, do you know where Master Obi-Wan is?" This question had bothered him for months, ever since Yoda had announced to the Council that Obi-Wan had been moved to another planet. 'In danger he was,' the master had told them, including Anakin in this meeting. 'Moved he has, and know the location only I do. Seeking him more urgently the Dark Force is. Protect him in all ways I wish to.'

"Yes," Yoda said now. "Stay on the planet I took him to he will for a little while longer. Perhaps a year, perhaps more." He raised an eyebrow at Anakin, a clear question.

"I had a dream about him. I dreamed"

(_"Anakin! Anakin! Help me! Anakin, I can't- can't stop him alone. Anakin, please…"_)

"he was hurt. Someone was threatening him, hurting him, driving him to"

("_You want me? Come and get me!" Obi-Wan's lightsaber hummed in the dimness of some half-forgotten swamp. "Let me kill you."_)

"anger. Obi-Wan was angry. He wanted to kill. I could feel the Dark Force around him, maybe in him, and I wanted to reach him, save him, bring him-" he blushed- "back home. I don't want anyone to hurt him, but I couldn't stand it if someone drove him to the Dark Side."

"_Driven_ no one can be. Seek the Dark Force they must. Think you do that Obi-Wan pursue the Dark Force might?"

Anakin shook his head at once. "No. Not Obi-Wan. He loves the Light Force too much."

"Hmmmph. As to the rest of your dream, perhaps time to contact Obi-Wan it is. A new danger there might be."

Anakin blinked. He hadn't expected Yoda to act, at least not right away. He'd expected hesitation, and Yoda to say something along the lines of 'meditate on this we will'. Just like Zee dallied over things, the Senate dallied, the Council dallied. But if Yoda was willing to contact Obi-Wan, who was the padawan to stand in his way? It was all Anakin could do not to jump to his feet.

Yoda read Anakin's expression and chuckled. "Think you know me so well? Your nightmare the second is that I have heard today. Like yours, the other concerned Obi-Wan fighting something strong and Dark. And… my own dreams I have had." He rose. "Walk with me. Speak with him we both will."

Anakin's heart leapt and it was all he could do not to scamper after Yoda like an over-energized puppy. He walked calmly at Yoda's side, struggling to keep his mind from racing in a hundred different directions. He felt the guilt of not doing as his new master said, of hiding out with machines, the joy that he'd hear Obi-Wan's voice, maybe even see his master's face, and know for sure that Obi-Wan was alive and well. And he was afraid that his dream might be true. When Obi-Wan had left Temple, Anakin had cut their bond because Obi-Wan, in his weakened state, couldn't. Now he wished he'd kept the bond open despite Zee's unspoken expectation that he sever the connection with his first master. _My only real master._

"Attentive you have been to your lessons?"

Anakin blinked, held himself from jumping as Yoda's voice cut effortlessly through his thoughts. New guilt reigned, and he said, "Not always."

"Explain that can you?"

_Not without blaming Zee. _He couldn't say that, could he? Anakin debated for a moment, then spoke. "All of my inattentiveness is my own fault, Master Yoda, but Master Zee hasn't tried to help me. He seems distant. I know all masters teach differently, and it's wrong for me to expect him to teach like Master Obi-Wan did, but he never-" _this sounds stupid, but how else can I put it?- _"criticizes me. Everything I do, no matter how I do it, he praises me. And he praises me for things I could do when I was twelve like they're amazing. He never challenges me with anything new." He swallowed. "I know I should be challenging myself, and I should have talked to him, but I didn't. And I'm not sure what else to do besides fly. That's the only challenging thing I know. When I fly, I feel connected to the Force." He bowed his head. "I don't at other times."

"Perhaps help you there I can. But for now, speak with Obi-Wan we should." Yoda entered a small room, one that Anakin knew could be used as a meditation room or a communications center. Yoda settled himself in the center of the room, and Anakin stood behind him. He didn't know what to do with his hands, and suddenly he was ashamed of the oil stains on his robes and the rip down his sleeve where he'd gotten it caught that morning in an instrument panel.

_Please, Obi, like me this way._

Yoda spoke to the screen, calling up Obi-Wan's signal by code, a long code full of syllables Anakin couldn't even begin to pronounce, let alone memorize.

That was a comfort. If he, one of the best code-breakers at Temple, couldn't understand the code, then Obi-Wan's signal was safe. So Obi-Wan was safe. Right?

A long moment passed. Anakin stared so hard at the place where Obi-Wan's hologram should have appeared that he swore he could see it coming all the way across the galaxy. But when a signal finally did come through, it was audio only. And he didn't identify himself or even ask who was calling.

"Yes?"

Anakin bit his lip. It was Obi-Wan's voice- no doubt about that. But the Obi-Wan he was talking to sounded so… exhausted. The worried and miserable padawan wanted to speak, but Yoda spoke first.

"Now not a good time is?"

"It's always a good time to hear from you, Master Yoda. Though this will have to be short. The al-gi-las hunt close to sunset." A shiver of static. "How's Anakin?"

"Speak to him yourself do you wish to?"

_His first thought was for me! _Anakin's mouth was dry, and he wasn't sure he could speak.

Obi-Wan sounded stronger now. "Anakin?"

_Call me 'padawan mine'. Please. _Anakin swallowed. He knew he was going to cry, and, swallowing again, he prayed only that his words would be understood. "O-"

More static, then: "They're coming. I have to move. I'm sorry." Static one last time, and the sound of snarling. "May the Force be with you, and with Anakin." The connection went dead.

"Wait! Obi, wait!" Anakin took an involuntary step towards the communicator, his hands out. "What's wrong? What is it? Who's there?" His attention flew to Yoda. "What's attacking him? We have to get to him!" His nightmares came rolling back, and his hand went to his lightsaber hilt. "Master, Obi needs us!"

Yoda shook his head. "No, Anakin. Obi-Wan's battle alone this is."

"No." Anakin drew his lightsaber, ignited it. He wasn't precisely pointing it at Yoda. "Obi-Wan needs us. We can't just stay here. I won't let my nightmares come true." His eyes narrowed and his voice dropped. "What about the other dream? What about yours? You can't just ignore those."

"Sensed no danger to Obi-Wan did I, not from al-gi-las, which native are, or from anything which be there should not. In true danger he is not. Safe he is. If traveled to him we did, reveal his hiding place we might."

"He shouldn't be in hiding. He should be here, at Temple, where we can protect him."

"Safe at Temple he was before? Listened to his story you never have."

Anakin grimaced. "I know all about Telka, Dooku, and certainly about ber'Nac." He stopped. "Did you ever realize that every person who has ever raped Obi has gone through Temple training?" His stomach turned. "Every person who ever raped him was once a Jedi. Maybe Temple isn't the best place for him." He stopped again. "But how, if the Jedi are so strong in the Light Force, could all of those people have taken Obi-Wan?"

"Not perfect are even the Jedi. Mistakes are made, and the circumstances of each attack taken into consideration must be. Safer away from Temple Obi-Wan is, if only for this reason: know where he is only do two people: myself, and he. Safer for that simple reason is he." Yoda held up a hand. "Run me through are you planning to?"

Anakin reholstered the lightsaber; his eyes were still narrowed. "So you're saying that whatever Obi-"

"Master Obi-Wan."

"Whatever Master Obi-Wan was running from-"

"Preparing to defend himself from."

"That he's safer fighting whatever that was than here, or on a secret planet where nothing would attack him?"

"Safer in the short term? No. Stronger in body, mind and spirit, and so safer in the long term? Stronger in the Light Force, and so able to defend himself against the attacks of the Dark Force? Yes. Chose where to send Obi-Wan I did, so if angry you are, angry you are with me. Wish to question my choice more do you?"

Anakin felt the base knocked out from under his anger, and only then was he conscious of how furious he'd been. Letting the anger go, he whispered, "Obi-Wan would be so disappointed in me. I haven't done any of what I promised, and I haven't tried to apply myself in my studies." He chewed his lip. "But I'd be better if he was here. I know I would. Because I'd know every day if he was all right." He looked at Yoda. "Do you contact him every day?"

"No. Obi-Wan alone time, time to grow, needs. If contacted him every day I did, part of the reason I sent him away lost would be. And it is an important part." Yoda reached out, compelling Anakin to kneel before him. "Meditate on your guilt you must not. Wallowing in self-pity a waste of time is. Change what you must change so that Obi-Wan, when he returns, proud will be." He frowned. "And alone in that endeavor you will not be. Help you I will."

Anakin blinked. "Personally? Master Yoda," he added belatedly, wondering if he would ever be able to hide his surprise as Obi-Wan could.

"Personally, yes. Help you need, and a special favor I owe Obi-Wan." His frown had returned. "But one thing straight we must get: call Obi-Wan Master Obi-Wan you will, or Master Kenobi. Before all right it was, because following his teachings you were, but until following his teachings and keeping your promises you are to him, call him Master Obi-Wan you will. Remind you to follow him this will."

Anakin wanted to balk at that, especially considering his other dreams, but he knew Yoda spoke the truth, and so he nodded. "Yes, Master Yoda. I will call him Master Obi-Wan."

"Good." Yoda cast a glance at the communicator. "Perhaps another day speak with him we can."

"Yes, Master." But as Yoda started out of the room, Anakin asked, "Master?"

Yoda peered back over his shoulder. "Hmm?"

"If he ever gets in real trouble, will you go rescue him?"

"Hmmph. Forget you do that care about Obi-Wan I do. Leave him in true danger I never would. Protect him I wish to, just as you do." He turned to face Anakin dead-on. "Remember something you must, and perhaps draw comfort from it you can: Master Obi-Wan's only defender you are not. To stand between him and the Sith Lord many Jedi would, if ever came to that it did. Many more than you think. And because you need to hear this, listen you should. I will name only those that come to mind immediately; many more there are. Myself. Mace. Qui-Gon. Ryn-yn, Bant, Gareth, Garen, Reeft, Nela, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Adi Galia, Zee, you, more than half the younglings, every padawan who has ever received training from him or an encouraging word, and many of the Knights who have come to know him."

Anakin hesitated. It felt good to hear about all the people that would protect Obi-Wan at the risk of their own lives, but… "Master? What about the rumors?"

"Rumors? Explain."

"You must have heard them! The ones about how O- Master Obi-Wan isn't strong enough, that he never was, that he only got through Temple because you and Master Qui-Gon took pity on him."

"Recite those old things you do with amazing ease. Listening to them have you been?" Yoda held up a hand. "Think carefully you should before answer you do."

_No, I- _He wanted to say he knew the rumors because he'd heard Ferus say them, but how long ago was that? Over a year. And he wanted to say he knew them because he'd heard other Jedi speak them. But that hadn't been true since he was thirteen. The rumors had disappeared almost completely by the time he'd reached his thirteenth birthday. In fact, Ferus had seemingly been the last one clinging to them. _Well, last except me. _

Did he believe the rumors, even a little? Thinking back, thinking of the dreams, thinking of how he needed to keep Obi-Wan safe at all times, Anakin hated himself. "Yes," he whispered. "I've listened. I've believed. It was… easier?"

"Works well that word does."

"Easier to believe that we were partners, that I was strong, if I thought of him as weak. Not weaker than everyone, but weaker than me." He winced, hating that. "I was belittling him all this time?" He shook his head. "No. Maybe sometimes, but I learned so much from him, and I listened to him! I swear I did! Please, Master Yoda, believe me. I learned from him. I wouldn't be here without him."

"True that all is. You listened to him. See you growing under his gentle teaching I could. And a partnership right for the two of you was. In your everyday work belittle him you did not. Only sometimes happened that did, and speaking of calling him Obi I am not."

Anakin resisted the urge to look away from Yoda's piercing gaze.

"Redeem yourself you do not need to. Never thought of himself as inferior did Obi-Wan, especially around you. Loved the partnership you shared he did. Believed it was the right way to teach you he did, and right he was. Partnership you need. Pair you with another master I will, one who shares Obi-Wan's comfort with a master-padawan partnership. Watch more closely over you I will- speak with you once a week I will, from now on, and speak with your new master I will. Take good care of Obi-Wan's padawan I will."

For some reason Anakin couldn't understand, he thought he heard irony in Yoda's voice. He didn't meditate on it just then. Rising, he bowed to Yoda. "Thank you, Master." The relief that surged through him pushed out all other thoughts, and he bowed again, unable to stop himself. "Thank you. I'll come back to the Light path. I will."

"Never left the Light path did you. Only stopped moving along it." Yoda headed again for the door. "Go to your quarters for now you should. Speak with Master Zee and the master I have in mind will I, and then come to take you to your new quarters your new master will." He stopped when he was standing in the doorway. "Release your concern about Obi-Wan I wish you to. Release it every time it begins to rise."

"I'll try, Master."

"Do or do not do. There is no try. Only by releasing your worry for him trusted your nightmares about him can be." Yoda left, and the doors closed behind him, leaving Anakin alone.

He stood still for a moment after the door closed, reaching out into the Force when he thought Yoda was gone, making sure the master wasn't coming back. Feeling that he was safe, that no one was approaching, Anakin went to the communicator and, with only a little persistence and patience, brought through into the system. He listened to the code that had to be spoken to call Obi-Wan, listened to it until he knew it, treating the strange syllables like the few words of polite Wookie speech Obi-Wan had taught him, memorizing instead of trying to decipher, then erased all signs of his meddling. Before he left, he checked the star map in the computer, seeking out and tracing Obi-Wan's signal. _Degoba _flashed across the screen.

_That's where he is. Degoba. _Anakin didn't know exactly where the planet was, but having a name to call it by was comforting enough for now.

_If the nightmare comes again, I want to be able to contact Obi-Wan myself. And what's wrong with me knowing where he is, too, how to reach him? It's not like I'm going to tell anyone. _He crushed the touch of guilt that came with breaking into the Temple's system. _It's for the best. It's for Obi-Wan._

The padawan retreated to the window, staring out into Coruscant's glowing, busy early morning. _Obi, I love you, _he sent, wishing he could rebuild their connection and really talk to his master. _I want you here where I can keep you safe. I didn't tell Yoda, because he might think I'm still in love with you-_ he snorted- _but I protect you because I'd be lost without you. Knowing you're safe helps me to know I'm safe. I need you, Obi. Come home soon. I'll be here. And I promise that even if I keep watching out for you, I'll only do that because I love you, and not because I'm listening to the rumors. I make the Jedi vow: I'll change and protect you only because I love you. Let the Light Force hear my promise and hold me to it._

oOo

When Anakin reached the quarters he shared with Master Zee, he found the Repticonn in a state of intense agitation. He was pacing with his hands tugging at the taut stkin of his face and his tail whipped back and forth. Anakin stood far back, unsure what to say. Had Zee already heard of his complaints? He felt instantly guilty. Zee hadn't been anything like Obi-Wan, and he wasn't right for Anakin, but the young man thought Zee would be a good master for someone else who was more internally driven in one field of study within the Jedi discipline, and he would certainly be good for someone who wasn't sure of themselves.

"Master?" he ventured.

Zee turned, and his eyes glowed a fierce yellow that shocked Anakin. Zee's eyes had always been yellow- that was a trait all Repticonns shared- but they had never glowed like tiny fires before. Taking what he saw as further evidence of the older Jedi's distress, Anakin asked, "Master? What's wrong? We can go see Yoda. He's in the Council Chamber and I'm sure he-"

"Yoda?" Zee muttered. "Go see Yoda?" He shook his head. "No. No. I still have time to save him myself. I'll just go talk to him, and all will be-" He started forward, coming so fast Anakin thought he was going to be flattened.

Anakin stepped aside, but touched Zee's arm as the master passed. "Yoda can help anything."

Zee stopped, seemed to see Anakin for the first time. "I'm sorry, Anakin. I don't have time just now. My- Another master needs help." He started out again, but then, turning back, he grasped the tops of Anakin's arms and met the padawan's eyes. "Listen to me," he said, his voice a fierce whisper. "I know I haven't been the best master to you. I haven't been the best Jedi either, or even a passable one. But this is important, and you need to do as I ask. Will you, Anakin?"

It was the use of his name, proof that Zee knew who he was talking to, that made Anakin answer, "Yes, Master."

"Good." Zee took in a breath, exhaling some of his tension. Anakin felt it go as a ripple in the Force. "I'm saying this to you as a Jedi who loves your master, your real master, Obi-Wan. In the name of my love for him, I tell you this and ask you to obey me." He paused, let go of more of his tension. "Stay here. In these quarters. With the door locked. Keep your lightsaber with you, and don't even think about leaving here. If you leave, you might die." His expression hardened. "Trust me and obey me as if I was Obi-Wan. Please, Anakin. The halls won't be safe for you for a little while. Stay here, door locked, lightsaber with you, until I or Yoda comes for you. Don't trust anyone else. Do you hear me?" He shook Anakin slightly. "Only if Yoda or- No. Only if Yoda comes. Open the door only for Yoda. Do you understand?"

Anakin nodded, doing his best to dissipate his fear. "I understand, Master."

"No Jedi should swear, but this is different. Swear on Obi-Wan's name and memory and teachings that you won't leave."

Anakin bit his lip. _Why? What's so terrible? And why can't you take it to Yoda?_ But Zee invoking Obi-Wan's name had power over him, and he nodded again. "I swear on my master's name."

"Thank you." Zee made a small symbol over Anakin. "May the Force be with you and protect you this day." He turned and left.

At once, Anakin locked the door, putting into it the code he and Obi-Wan had used for their quarters the one time the Temple had been under attack and they'd been there. Back when he was eleven that had been, but he still remembered the code.

Taking out his lightsaber, he settled on the floor in the middle of the room, knowing he should meditate, but pretty sure he wouldn't be able to. Still, he closed his eyes, and reached out to the Force. _Maybe,_ he thought, _I'll figure out what's wrong, and I'll be able to tell Master Yoda._

_Wait. Shouldn't I tell Yoda that Master Zee is upset and commanded me to stay here?_ Anakin jumped up and went to the communicator in their quarters. He tapped the screen. "Padawan Anakin to Master Yoda."

For a moment, there was no answer, then, "This is Mace. Go ahead, Anakin."

"Where's Master Yoda?"

"He's meditating. What's wrong?"

"Master Zee just left our quarters in a state of great agitation." _Geez, I sound like Obi. So formal. _He smiled despite his nervousness. "Master Zee commanded me to stay here and lock the door. He told me not to open the door until Yoda comes."

"Did he say why?"

"No. He said something about keeping me safe because he loves Master Obi-Wan."

"Sense him I do, but far off. Shielding himself he is." Yoda's voice sounded tight. "Remain in your quarters you will, Anakin, until comes for you Master Bant or Master Ryn-yn does. Take you to a safer location they will." A pause. "Sound a general alert I will. With other padawans you will be placed. In charge of protecting some of the younglings you will be."

"Yes, Master." Anakin felt his heart swell with pride at being given a task that was usually only left for senior padawans, but he dispelled it, keeping it out of his voice.

"May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Master." Anakin closed the channel and turned his lightsaber hilt in his hands. Excitement and anxiety ran through him in equal measure. _Maybe it's good you're not here right now, Obi._

A modulated tone, the closest thing the Jedi had to klaxon, echoed through the corridors of the Temple and through every room. Anakin jumped a little, remembering the last time he'd heard that sound. It had come only after he and his master had already fought a battle…

///Flashback///

Anakin sagged against his master while the tone rang around them, signaling the intrusion. His leg- broken in two places- ached, making him wish he'd stayed closer to his master. Obi-Wan would have defended him, he was sure, if he hadn't jumped out without waiting for his master's signal.

"To your designated safe-places all Jedi will go," Yoda announced. "Masters to your guard posts."

"Are you going to leave me?" Anakin asked.

Obi-Wan lifted Anakin into his arms, wrapping a tight cord of Force around the boy's leg to keep the bones from moving about. "Never, Padawan mine." He jogged away from the scene of battle, leaving the half-dozen destroyed robots and the two dead Dark-Force users who had led that branch of the invading army. "Reach out to the Force. It will take some of the pain away."

Anakin tried to do as he was told, but the feeling of Dark Force all around him shocked him and he held to Obi-Wan, closing his eyes. He was ashamed to realize how afraid he truly was, and he berated himself for his weakness, telling himself he'd been stronger when he was on Tatooine.

_Stop that now. _Obi-Wan's voice held more command than gentleness in it. _Focus on the Light Force and draw your strength from that. Stop focusing so far away and feel what I feel._

Obeying, Anakin sheltered himself from the Dark Force and held to his master.

_Better. _But when Obi-Wan rounded the next corner, two more Dark Force users were waiting. They were standing at the other end of the corridor. The quarters Anakin and Obi-Wan shared stood between. The master drew his lightsaber, cradling Anakin against him with the Force. With the blade lit and humming, he raced for their quarters.

The padawan clung to his master and squeezed his eyes shut. _Don't drop me, _went through his mind, and _Keep us safe._

Obi-Wan slipped into their quarters and hit the lock every door was equipped with. Then, carrying Anakin to the couch, he pushed the piece of furniture aside with the Force and deposited his padawan on the floor behind it. "Keep your lightsaber close to hand, but don't come out until I call you."

Anakin sucked in his breath as the Force that had kept his leg from being jostled was removed. He didn't move his leg, but he realized that the Force had been damping his pain even while it kept his leg still. Grabbing his lightsaber, unsure if he should activate it yet, he said, "Be careful."

"Always, Padawan." The floor under them shook and the door groaned as blaster fire hit it. "Stay out of sight."

Anakin peeked around the side of the couch and saw that the wall above the door-lock was glowing. _They're melting the lock. _But he'd taken apart that unit already. "Master, you can keep the lock fused with a code instead of the regular, mechanical lock. The code links to the Temple security system."

"Which is still functioning," Obi-Wan said, moving quickly towards the panel by the door. Sparks were flying from the wall now and he shielded himself with his weapon. "Now, for a code we'll both remember."

Anakin grinned, remembering how he'd teased Obi-Wan once over dinner when his master asked him to set the table. "May the forks be with you," he said.

Obi-Wan laughed. "Yes. Code input, authorization Kenobi three-two-three."

The system beeped.

"May the forks be with you."

The system beeped again.

"Now, Padawan, let's see about that leg of yours. That door will hold for a few minutes."

///End Flashback///

Anakin smiled. The door had held just long enough for Obi-Wan to encase Anakin's leg in bacta. But before the Dark Force users could do more than take a step into the empty front room, Obi-Wan had taken them both on, melting their weapons with his blade and driving them back out into the corridor. They had fled then, and he had returned to tend his injured padawan.

_He wasn't even angry with me for not listening. When I tried to apologize, he said only, "I'm sure you'll remember this for a long time. Consider this another lesson."_

Hearing Obi-Wan's voice in his mind, and thinking of how his master had carried him, one-handed, and yet still managed to deflect energy bolts with his lightsaber, Anakin's smile fell off. _He defended me, carried me, and kept my leg from jostling. How could I ever, _EVER,_ think Obi-Wan didn't have a strong connection to the Force?_

_For that matter, how could anyone think that?_

_Could all that he did have come from just working hard? _Anakin shook his head. _So what's the difference between being born with a strong Force-connection and making one through study?_

Obi-Wan's voice in his mind, sounding amused, _Nothing, Padawan mine._

It sounded so much like his master that Anakin had to remind himself that the thought was his own. But he grinned. _Nothing. So if that's true, then he can work back to what he had before the Force took it away. _He stopped. _No. Maybe he doesn't even have to work back up to that. Maybe he just has to remember all the hard work he had to do to get there. Like when I forget how to fly something, and just being thrown back into the pilot's seat brings everything back._

Thinking that- Force, _knowing _it- Anakin realized Obi-Wan could be back any day. Before, the padawan had assumed that Obi-Wan had to work again and not only convince the Force, but regain all his old skills. _As soon as- well, as soon as the Force tells him he can come back. _He wanted Obi-Wan back right then, but just knowing that his master might come back in a week instead of in a year, most of the anxiety Anakin ahd been feeling since his master left, the anxiety that had been showing itself as testiness, aloofness, sloth, and fear, vanished. Feeling light, as he hadn't before the mission to Rept'thik, Anakin had to resist the urge to dance.

The panel beside his door buzzed.

Anakin advanced to the door, not sure if he should answer or just wait. He stood clear of the door in case someone tried to blast it.

"Anakin. It's Bant. Open the door."

Anakin spoke the code to the door, keeping his lightsaber up and activated. But it was truly Bant, with Nela at her side.

"Hurry," the master said.

Anakin fell into step behind her. He saw that she and Nela carried their activated lightsabers also. "Has Master Yoda found Master Zee yet?"

"I don't know about that," Bant said. "I'm just taking you two to a secure location."

"We should be allowed to fight with you," Nela said.

Anakin, who had been excited that he was being given a senior padawan's job a few minutes ago, nodded. "Yeah. Obi-Wan would never leave me somewhere while he went off to fight."

"Master Obi-Wan would follow Yoda's orders," Bant answered. "And besides, the senior padawans are going out to support their masters. Yoda says this is a threat from within. You are the only defense the younglings have." She stopped walking and held up her hand.

Anakin listened hard and reached out to the Force. He heard the sound of lightsabers clashing far away.

Bant nodded and urged them onwards. Less than a minute later, they arrived at the door to a storeroom. Bant knocked a quick pattern on the door and, after a pause, another code. Anakin memorized this.

The door opened, revealing a padawan just a year older than Anakin. The padawan held a lightsaber in one hand and his communicator in the other. Anakin saw that his finger was poised over a button. _If he was shot, despite the knock, he'd almost surely push that button and an alarm would sound. _Anakin was impressed how calm the padawan looked.

"Master Bant." He stepped back, letting her in with the other two padawans. "Everything's well here, but Master Ryn-yn asked Nela to come look at Master Gareth. He's been hurt, and-" his voice broke- "his padawan is dead."

_What did Zee do? _Anakin felt sick, and wrapped an arm around his middle, sealing his lips against the threat of nausea.

Nela said, "Show me," as if she'd seen a hundred injured people before, and the padawan went with her.

Bant turned to Anakin. He could see the mark of the death on her face. "Stay here. Keep the younglings calm." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Channel Light Force around them at all times. That will do more to keep them calm than a hundred reassurances." She headed for the door, then glanced back over her shoulder. "Did you memorize the knock-code?"

He nodded.

"Good. Don't let anyone in without it." She was gone.

Anakin made his way further into the room, noting that younglings were gathering in groups of a dozen, each group overseen by a padawan. He found no one he knew, and wondered where Ferus was. Then, remembering that Ferus had become a senior padawan only a week ago, Anakin realized he must be out fighting alongside Master Reeft.

_I wish I was out there. We're the last line of defense for the younglings, but if anyone gets this far, what good will we be able to do?_

"Hi."

Anakin glanced down, and tried to smile. "Hi, Annie." He crouched before her. "How do you feel?"

"Scared." She squared her shoulders. "But the Force will take care of us. That's what Master Obi-Wan always used to say."

Anakin's throat tightened. "You remember Master Obi-Wan? You were only five the last time you saw him."

She shrugged. "He taught us a lot. He taught us about resisting Force-suggestion before anyone else."

"I remember that day," he said, thinking, _She's too articulate for an eight-year old. When did she become like this, and who has she been talking to, learning from?_

"Where is Master Obi-Wan? Is he out fighting?"

Thinking of the al-gi-las- _whatever those are-_ Anakin said, "He's fighting somewhere else. He had to leave Temple for a while."

"He's not your master anymore?"

"Not right now." Anakin shifted. He could sense the Dark Force rippling somewhere nearby. Rising, he said, "Go with that group there." He moved towards the door, not bothering to see if she obeyed. Drawing his lightsaber, he stood ready.

"What is it?" The padawan who had me them at the door appeared beside Anakin.

"The Dark Force is closer. Too close for my liking."

The padawan drew his own lightsaber but didn't activate it. "Maybe I should call Yoda."

"Not until we know for sure if we're in danger."

"Then it might be too late."

Anakin didn't answer. Calm had descended over him and he unconsciously assumed the stance Obi-Wan had taught him, the relaxed-but-ready stance he'd practiced hundreds of times while training with his master, the same stance he'd used on eight score missions. In the back of his mind, he realized that he was the oldest padawan here, probably the one with the most experience.

There was the sound of footsteps behind him, and though the Dark Force surged closer, still on the other side of the door, Force be thanked, Anakin risked a glance back. He saw a master making his way across the room under his own power, though he limped and Nela stuck close to his side.

"Get the younglings into the back room," the master told her. Then, spotting Anakin, "You and Vehl stay with me. The rest, get back with the padawans. Have your 'sabers out, but not activated. Not yet." He gestured at Anakin. "Shut that off. We don't want the intruders to hear it."

Anakin did as he was told, calling himself seven kinds of an idiot for not thinking of that. But when the master stopped beside him, he moved close and whispered, "Can you fight, Master Gareth?"

"As long as the Force flows in my veins, I can fight." The smile that pulled at his lips didn't touch his eyes. "Do you know who told me that?"

Anakin shook his head, but he could guess. It seemed that most masters took time out every day just to mention Obi-Wan's name. It was as if they thought talking about his amster would make him feel better, and none of them seemed to realize that it only made him miss Obi-Wan all the more.

"Obi-Wan. When he was just your age, he said that." His voice dropped even more, so that Anakin sensed it more than heard it. "Remind me to tell you the story some time."

Anakin nodded. "I'm sorry about your padawan."

"I haven't given up on him yet." Gareth took two steps forward, gesturing for the padawans to stay behind him. He glanced over his shoulder at them and mouthed, "It's close. Be ready."

Anakin turned all his thoughts to the coming threat. And so he felt it approach, felt it pause a little distance from them, then continue on. He didn't dare breathe too loudly yet. His hand on the handle of his lightsaber was slick with sweat. _Some Jedi I'm being. _He released his anticipation, willing his heart to slow. _Obi-Wan, please tell me your lessons will start kicking in automatically some day soon. It's bad that I still have to call up each and release my feelings again and again._

Quite suddenly, the one carrying the Dark Force around like a shroud winked out of existence. Anakin's jaw dropped, and he started to turn his head, started to speak. But a quick, impatient gesture from Gareth kept him still. He swallowed, waited.

An eternity later, Gareth moved, lowering the handle of his weapon to his side, then clipping it to his belt. "It's gone. Whoever it was either left the Temple- which I don't believe- or died." He shook his head. "Force," he muttered. "What manner of trick is that?" He closed his eyes and stood still once more. Anakin sensed that he was reaching to the Force, and he followed, thinking the master would sense an answer before he did.

Instead, a dim voice came back: _Master…_

_Arnen. Padawan, all's well. Where are you?_

_Not sure… Master, he wants to kill you._

_Who is 'he'?_

_A Jedi? I'm not sure. He had Dark and Light Force in him, almost in perfect balance. _A groan, filled with pain.

_I'm coming, Padawan. Stay still._

_Can you… can you walk?_

_I'm on my feet. _Gareth turned quite suddenly to Anakin, and their eyes met. "You'll help me find Arnen." His eyes glowed with a ghost of humor, and Anakin knew that he must be showing his shock again. "Didn't Obi-Wan ever tell you there are Jedi with the gift of sensing when another is eavesdropping?"

Anakin blushed. "No, Master," he whispered.

Gareth shook his head and started limping towards the door. He moved quickly for someone who had been dragging himself around only a few moments again. "I'm sure he meant for you to learn before now, or at least to find out in a less embarrassing way. Didn't he ever know when you were listening to his thoughts?"

"Yes, but I thought that was because we share a bond." Anakin's mind went back to what Gareth had just said. "Obi-Wan has that gift?"

"Yes. As soon as he learned how to reach out to the Force he's had that gift. He can't eavesdrop himself, but he knows if anyone near him is trying even to take a sounding of his emotions." He stopped talking and panted, his hand pressed to his side.

"Master, I could get someone else to help find Arnen." Anakin moved forward, offering his arm for the master to lean on.

Gareth took the support. "Can you sense him?"

Anakin reached out to the Force, seeking one specific Jedi. He felt many injured, but some were injured in mind, some in body, and he couldn't tell exactly who was who. "No. I'm… I'm sorry." _Oh, come on! I'm the Chosen One! Shouldn't I be able to do at least that?_

A memory: Obi-Wan, speaking of Anakin's ability to tell one Jedi from another: _The more often you practice distinguishing different Force-signatures, the more readily you will be able to do it. This is one time only practice and experimentation will help you._

_And I haven't practiced. _Fresh shame and guilt. Anakin hadn't expected that he needed many of those early lessons, but seemingly he'd missed a lot. _Master Yoda's right; I didn't leave the Light path, I just stopped moving along it._ And right now, it was too late to learn this particular lesson in time to help Arnen.

"Let it go. I know where he is." Gareth kept going, his face set.

_How much more have I missed?_ _I've been making basically not progress for two years. _"Master?"

"Yes, Padawan?"

_Maybe I shouldn't ask him. He looks like it's taking all the energy he can spare just to breathe and walk. _"Never mind."

Gareth made a frustrated noise. "That's impolite. Don't start a statement unless you're going to finish." And, after Anakin hadn't answered for close to a minute, "Ask your question."

"I think… I think I've been standing still while everything's been changing around me. I wanted to know what's changed."

"There have been more attacks on Jedi. Almost every attack reeks of the Dark Force. The Dark Force is growing stronger. Yoda is recalling many Jedi for extra training and strengthening in the Light Force. There are too few of us, and too many problems. The Senate is mired in ridiculous questions, and no one knows how to help them out of that. The Chancellor has been in office too long, and no one can shake him loose, or, if they can, they haven't tried." He panted and leaned against a wal when they'd reached a lift. "Open that, would you?"

Anakin did and helped Gareth onto it. The lift, at a croaked word from Gareth, began to travel up.

"Other things. Whispers of the Chosen One-" he shot Anakin a glance- "and prayers that he will come soon. I don't want you throwing yourself into anything yet, understand, but it's time you got out there and saw the trouble for yourself. When is Obi-Wan coming back, anyway?"

"I-I don't know. Yoda said a year, maybe longer."

"You need a master who's going to take you out into the midst of all this."

Anakin blinked, thinking he needed to speak up for Zee. "Master Zee is very busy. I'm sure he'll have time soon."

"Not likely." The lift opened and Gareth started off down the new corridor. "Zee and I went through Temple together. He's always been able to handle both his duties and help everyone around him. But now, something is sapping all his energy. I've only been at Temple twice since your master left, but even I can see it."

"He looked distracted today. He's the one who wanted me to stay in my room until Yoda came for me. He cared."

"He cared, but he didn't contact Yoda." Gareth sighed. "I'm sure Obi-Wan taught you this: a sign of the growing power of the Dark Force is a general sense of confusion, everyone running around doing his own thing, and no one communicating. We're like a bunch of ants."

Anakin's cheeks burned, and he clenched his hands into fists. He wasn't sure if it was because he was already under stress, or that his guilt had risen too high, but he didn't want to hear Obi-Wan's name from one more pair of lips. "Please don't talk about him."

Gareth's eyes flashed. "I can understand you not wanting to talk about him because you miss him, but make sure that's the only reason." He lurched away from Anakin suddenly, and only then did the padawan see the figure crumpled by one of the high windows.

Gareth moved almost as a healthy Jedi. In less time than it takes to tell, he was at Arnen's side, holding his padawan in his arms, soothing him, speaking softly to him. Anakin could see that the padawan had been broken- bones gleamed out in the middle of pools of bloo- but no lightsaber had been used, seemingly. Anakin couldn't see any of the distinctive burns, at least.

"So maybe it wasn't a Jedi," he whispered.

"Help me, Anakin." Gareth was struggling to get out of his robe. He winced, but kept trying.

Anakin moved forward and helped. "Where do you want me to put it?"

"Over his chest. Take his hand." A pause as Gareth moved to kneel between Arnen's legs. "I'm going to set these bones of yours. Call on the Force."

A surge of Light Force surrounded Anakin, and he stared at Arnen.

Strangely, the padawan looked both calm and attentive. "It's not me. Master Gareth can-"

A sharp snapping sound, and the padawan sucked in his breath. Tears trickled down his cheeks, and he gripped Anakin's hand so hard the younger padawan thought his fingers might break.

"-fill a room ten times this size." Arnen gasped, groaned. "Master, is there another?"

"Yes. Breathe out. Good. In. Out." Another snap. "There we are."

Anakin thought, stunned that it had never occurred to him before, _There are many more Jedi who are strong in the Force. It's not just the Council, or the Council and me, or even the Council and those few Jedi Obi-Wan has introduced me to. _But, seemingly, even though he hadn't met many Jedi (_maybe I met them and I just didn't care at the time_) they all knew him, and they all knew Obi-Wan. And they all admired Obi-Wan. Now he felt triply-guilty for ever listening to the rumors.

And, seemingly, other master-padawan teams shared the close bond he shared with Obi-Wan.

Gareth moved past Anakin and moved Arnen carefully so that the padawan was half on his lap. He began to brush hair out of Arnen's face. "Sh, Ar'. You're going to be fine." The Force surged again, wrapping itself around the master and his padawan. "Rest. We're going to be all right."

Anakin's heart ached. He stood, stepping away from them. _Obi..._

"Are you going for help?"

Anakin stopped, bit his lip, nodded. "Yes, Master Gareth."

"Good. Tell them the situation's under control. Neither of us is in danger of dying. But say neither of us can walk." Another surge of the Light Force, and Anakin saw Gareth lean back against the wall. HE knew then that he had given his energy to Arnen, as Anakin and Qui-Gon had done for Obi-Wan.

"It's all right, Master. The pain isn't bad. Don't give me everything. I'm all right."

"Lay still, Ar'. I need you to save your strength." Gareth ducked his head and kissed Arnen's brow. "This time was too close. Another padawan- the one who brought me to the younglings' safe place after our separation- was telling others that you were dead. Force help me, when I was half-awake and surrounded by the Dark Force, I might have even said that." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I won't lose you. Not after all we've been through. I won't lose you."

"I'm not going to die, Gareth. I promise I'm not. The Force is strong in me and around me."

Anakin resisted the urge to speak. These two seemed to know what they had, so here was no need for him to tell them to cherish it. _Obi…_ He retreated from the team. _I want you here. I want you here. I want you here. _He turned and fled from the master and his padawan, sprinting towards the lift, his heart pounding in his ears. There was nothing he wanted more in that moment than to run to a communications center, contact Obi-Wan, and beg his master to come home. _The universe is falling apart. Can't you connect to the Force here? Obi, come back._

But he didn't go to the communications room. There were Jedi healers to find, then Yoda to report to when he was called to the Council Chamber. There were new surprises he had to deal with. By the time he thought of calling Obi-Wan again, the need seemed both more urgent, and yet impossible. What good would calling Obi-Wan do? He would only say that the Force was keeping him away for a little longer and that Anakin needed to be patient. What good worrying his master, who was probably right?

No good at all. Anakin knew that even with a new master, whoever that turned out to be, he was alone.


	25. The Lonely Years 2

Author's Note: Enjoy!

The Lonely Years (2)

Zee shook his brother, then, when Adee didn't resist, threw him against the wall of Adee's quarters. "By the Force! What were you expecting to accomplish?" Zee's tail whipped from side to side like a weathervane in a harsh, changing wind. "Letting out everything, not even warning me, just abandoning any chance you have- we have- of staying here at Temple. Why?"

Adee didn't move from where Zee had pushed him. His eyes were on the floor. "I received an order, and I couldn't ignore it."

"An order? From who?"

"The Dark Force. It told me to abandon my place here and go hunting."

Zee tried not to show how sick he felt. "Hunting for what?"

Adee shook his head. "No. You don't need to know. You don't want to know."

"Were you after Yoda?"

"You actually think I would stand a chance against Yoda?" Adee chuckled, but it was a weary sound. His escapade had drained him; that much was obvious. "I'm flattered. No. I wasn't sent after Yoda."

"Then who? Please don't tell me you were told to kill all the younglings. Why were you near there, anyway?"

"Because the path to my true target was there. Not the target himself- he's not even at Temple just now- but the link to him. I might, if you hadn't interrupted me, been able to learn where my target is. Then I would have left Temple, been out of your hair, and made all Jedi breathe easier."

"You'd leave me to explain myself to Yoda."

"It wasn't my choice to stay here. I was ordered." He shrugged. "And whose idea was it to hide my tendencies from the Council? Who is afraid of being cast out of the Jedi, never to return? I brought the serpent into the nest, Brother, but you have kept it here."

"Don't you think I know that?" Zee turned away, pacing. "By the Force, Adee, you don't care what I will lose once you declare your loyalty to the Dark Force."

"I thought the goal of all Jedi is to be self-sacrificing."

Zee closed his eyes. "You know I have been self-serving since we entered Temple at five years old."

"Over a century of deception. Yes. I'd forgotten how long it had been. And to think, despite that lying, you and I both reached the Council. Haven't you served the Jedi long enough? If you leave now, you'll still have hundreds of years to live in peace." He moved to his twin's side and laid a hand on Zee's shoulder. "Just because you leave the Jedi doesn't mean you have to join the Dark Side. You could return home. Rest. What would be wrong with that?"

"I wish I could. I wish I'd never become a Jedi." Zee bowed his head. "What is Yoda going to say? What is he going to think? Will he cut my lightsaber in half?"

"I could take your weapon with me, then, when you leave-"

"When I'm kicked out, you mean."

"-I can give your lightsaber back to you. You'll never have to use it if you don't want to, but it would still be a good way to defend yourself. It _is _the weapon you've used all your life."

Zee hated himself. He knew he sounded like a child, and that was no way for a master to behave. No way for any Jedi to behave. Sometimes when he looked back on his life of lies, he became paranoid, certain that Yoda would burst into his room some night and demand his head in payment for all the wrongs he had commited.

_And yet, _Adee whispered in his mind, _look at how close to the Light Force you are. Do you realize that even with your lies, you're one of the most powerful Jedi alive today? What does that say about all the garbage Yoda keeps feeding his pawns?_

_Shut up. Leave me alone._

_Do you want me to go back out hunting?_

Zee whirled, seizing Adee's upper arms. "Don't."

"I won't. I won't. The one thing you did right today was to show me that it isn't quite time yet for me to spring my trap." He held up a cautioning finger. "I won't wait much longer; who's to say the Force won't tell my prey to leave his little hidy-hole before long? And I must dispose of him before he returns to Temple."

"So your target is definitely a Jedi."

"As is my secondary target, the one that, if I killed him as well, would be a bonus and a great help to my Master."

"Darth Sidious."

"Yes." Adee freed himself from Zee's weakened grasp. "I have to go now, Brother. I must meditate and center myself if I will be called to sit on the Council Camber." He moved to the door, opened it, gestured for Zee to leave. "You should meditate as well."

Zee struggled for a moment, wanting to give some last stinging rebuke, but any and all fight he'd managed to hold onto had deserted him after Rept'thik. The last two years had been nothing but pure hell, always watching, always fearing, always cautious and tense and needing to both get away from Yoda and long to confide everything to the great master.

He strode from the room, stalking down the corridor like a charging furry and not caring who saw. At first, he was just as unthinking as one of Rept'thik's large mammals, but then his characteristic self-deception and need for comfort won through. _At least Anakin isn't my problem anymore. They'll never let him stay my padawan after this. They might even ask me to take a sabbatical, as Obi-Wan was encouraged to. This could be the excuse I need to get away. And without me here, Yoda will discover Adee's true intentions, and maybe I'll be able to pass off ignorance. After all, as far as Yoda knows, Adee's not my twin._

Blcoking out that possibility, Zee sought his quarters, praying only that he would be allowed to spend a few minutes alone. He hoped Anakin was somewhere else.

_He should be. He was taken to the younglings' safe-_

"Force burn me," he whispered.

_Anakin_ had been in the younglings' safe-place. _Anakin _could very well be the link Adee was looking for. _And who would he link to besides Obi-Wan? 'Who's to say the Force won't tell my prey to leave his little hidy-hole' is what he said. He was telling me without telling me who his target is._

It was slips like that which gave Zee hope for his twin. If Adee was really and truly on the Dark Side for good, would he ever let such tidbits drop? Hardly. And each time Adee gave him hope unknown, Zee remembered why he had lied to Yoda and all other Jedi for so long.

Well he remembered the day that Dooku left the Jedi, citing half a dozen reasons, things that were, in his opinion, wrong with the Republic at large, and the Jedi specifically. But once Dooku was done with all these, Yoda stood up and laid a finger on Dooku's real reason. "My padawan, distressed am I to see that leaving you will be. But een more distressed am I by this: you are deceiving yourself and seeking to deceive us. Be honest will you not? Seeking another strength are you besides that which is taught here?"

Dooku smiled. "I am seeking nothing, Master Yoda. I pray only that you will believe that in time."

"Believe the words of a Dark Force user I will when confirmed they are by the Light Force, and not before." Yoda bowed his head. "I wish stay and let me help you would. Help there can still be for you."

Dooku opened his mouth, closed it. This, Zee would realize later, was the only time he saw Dooku hesitate over anything. Then he bowed. "I am sorry, truly sorry, Master Yoda, that you will not see the downward spiral the Republic is diving into." He urned, cape swirling, and left the room.

Adee was like Dooku in many ways, and most in this: he was arrogant. If Yoda called him out, suggested he could be helped, Adee would bolt. And he would take Zee's reputation and chance at (Force how would it ever happen?) happiness.

Zee wouldn't let Adee be driven away, even if it was Adee's own pride that was doing the driving. The two of them were brothers; shouldn't that account for something?

_Maybe not as much as I am letting it. _True, that, but how to retreat from all the mistakes he'd made and still keep his place, and still keep Adee surrounded by the Jedi where he might at least have a chance of coming back to himself in time?

_How much time? He's been tainted since we both came here, maybe not right away, but soon after. He lives for danger, and for the Dark Force. What could Yoda possibly do to convince him to turn to the Light? Nothing. Nothing. So why am I trying to keep him here?_

Because to do otherwise would be to throw Adee to the wolves he was sure he wanted to be with. _I won't do that. It's more un-Jedi-like than lying, than sneaking. It's betrayal and abandonment. No one can do that._

But hadn't Yoda done just that by letting Dooku walk out? Hadn't Yoda made the choice between letting the wolf stay with the sheep and letting him go out into the world because there was no real way to keep him?

_Dooku isn't Yoda's brother. There's a difference._

_No difference, _whispered a voice Zee didn't recognize. _There can't be true attachments among the Jedi because all must be given to the Force. All trust, and all lives. That is the way of the Jedi, the way they will be able to save millions. Without sacrifice, the Jedi would be just one more group struggling for meaning in the blackness of space._

_So what about Yoda and Mace? Are you saying they wouldn't grieve if the other died?_

_They would grieve, but the Force would sustain them._

_I'm not sure even the Force could keep Yoda from killing himself if Mace died._

_Then you don't know Yoda._

To that, Zee had no answer. Why agree? The truth was already know. He had never known Yoda, not even as a youngling.

oOo

Anakin shook his head. "This can't be. You were a padawan only six months ago."

"Ten," Ferus answered. "We haven't seen each other in that long."

"Where have you been?"

"Diplomatic missions, mostly." Ferus brushed his growing bangs out of his eyes. His padawan braid was gone. He looked better without it.

Anakin flet a stirring that he tried to pretend was jealousy. _It can't be anything else. I want_

(_Obi_)

_to be a Jedi. And even if I know now that Jedi in love can still follow the Force, I don't want Ferus. If I wanted anyone, I would want- _"But if you weren't at Temple, how did you become a Knight?"

"Reeft made me one through a field commission. He submitted his reasons to Yoda, and the Council has already put me through extra trials, but that's all right."

_What happens if you don't pass them?_ "So… How are you?"

Ferus shook his head. "I don't feel any different than when I was a padawan. Maser Reeft and I are still planning to go on many missions together, at least for a while. That's what a lot of master-padawan teams do right after they split up. Isn't that what Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan did?"

Anakin nodded, shifted. He wasn't sure what to say. Even if Ferus said he didn't feel different, it was as if a wall had grown up between them. _I wonder if Obi-Wan felt this way when he became a master before Bant._

"I feel older, though," Ferus said. "Master Reeft says that's because of all the Dark Force that's growing up around the galaxy. He said it takes strength out of people unless we fight it, and fighting makes us feel older." He looked down. "I never thought I would become a Knight without Qui-Gon here. I know I didn't have him long- only five years- but that seemed long to me."

"That's how long I had Obi-Wan. And he might not come back before it's time for my Trials."

"I hope he does. It hurt to become a Knight without my first master."

Unsure why he was saying so, Anakin confided, "That's what happened to Obi-Wan. His first master died and Qui-Gon took over. He says- said- that he just tried to live in her memory, to act in obedience to the Force so that his actions would be a credit to her memory." Seeing the sorrow in Ferus's eyes, Anakin hated himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that Qui-Gon won't come back. I was just trying…" He groaned. "Obi-Wan said once that the only thing that might keep me from being a Knight is that I don't have very good diplomatic skills. Even when I'm trying to be compassionate, it doesn't always come out there. Actually, it hardly ever does."

"You must miss Master Obi-Wan a lot. Probably more than I miss Qui-Gon."

"Why do you say that?"

Ferus flushed. "It's not a big secret that Qui-Gon and I never became more than just partners. We never became close. Just because I depended on and revered him doesn't mean we were ever able to get much past a professional relationship. The closest we ever came was on Rept'thik, after he explained about Obi-Wan and I apologized for my prejudice."

"I was really lucky to have Obi-Wan as a master." His voice dropped. "I never really thought about it. I just assumed everyone else had a relationship like I did with my master, like Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had." He was thinking of walking in on Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon kissing on Ragoon 6. "Well, not quite like what they had."

Ferus nodded. "I don't know of any other Jedi- well, except Master Yoda and Master Windu- who have a relationship like they have."

Anakin relaxed. Talking to Ferus was, he realized, like talking to a friend. _He is a friend. _"I don't think there are any others right now. Yoda made it pretty plain that what Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have is as close to a miracle as the Jedi believe in." His eyes moved to Ferus's face. He noted the shadows there, both the shadow of beard growing in, and the sorrow that had marked him. "Master Gareth told me that things are changing outside the Temple. Maybe inside too, but I haven't noticed that. I haven't noticed much of anything. I've only been thinking about how much I want Obi-Wan here. Are things changing?"

"Yes. There's this new movement, called the Separatist movement. It's barely more than a rumor, but Master Reeft says that if we don't take it seriously, it's going to become a threat to the Republic."

Anakin's stomach tightened. "Has he talked to Master Yoda about it?"

"Yes. He's not the first Jedi to do so. And we have other worries. The Dark Force is getting strong." He sighed. "Sometimes I'm not even sure what that means, except that our enemies seem to multiply, and I feel unfocused a lot of the time. It's not to become a Knight right now because even with Mater Reeft helping me, I feel like I'm being asked to take on more than I can handle."

"It's probably not a good time to be a Jedi at all," Anakin said. "Obi-Wan said once that all times are hard on those who want to serve the Light Force, but that worse times will come before the Jedi are finally allowed to live in peace again and be the peacekeepers we were meant to be." _Of course, we'll only be able to keep the peace if the Light Force will allow us to live in peace. _It wasn't the first time Anakin had that particular thought, brought on by the reality of the Light Force's desertion of Obi-Wan, and it wouldn't be the last.

Ferus's communicator chirped, and he activated it, holding it close to his mouth. "Ferus here."

"Ferus? Reeft. Have you seen Anakin?"

"I'm here, Master Reeft."

"Excellent. Would you mind coming to the Council Chamber? Yoda has questions about what happened outside the younglings' safe place." A pause. "Ferus, if you'll come to, we can look over our next mission."

"Yes, Master."

Reeft laughed. "Padawan, will you never call me simply Reeft?" He chuckled again, then closed the connection.

Ferus and Anakin made their way to the Council Chamber in silence. Anakin wasn't sure what Ferus was thinking, but, surprise, his own thoughts had turned once again to Obi-Wan. He longed to be in and out of the Council Chamber so he could at last contact his master. He'd been on his way to do just that when he ran into Ferus, and shock and curiosity had overruled his need for a few minutes.

Adi Gallia stood guard at the doors to the chamber. She met Anakin's gaze. "You will come in." Then, to Ferus, "Reeft will be out soon, and you'll talk then. For now, we need him."

Ferus nodded and retreated to a chair, taking a seat and closing his eyes.

_Probably meditating. Besides Obi, I've never seen someone who meditates so often._

"Come, Anakin." She strode into the Council Chamber, and Anakin followed in her wake. She left him in the center of the room, standing a little apart and behind Reeft, who stood with his hands folded behind his back. Every chair was filled, a rare occurrence, and Anakin felt his stomach twist again. _Obi-Wan. Please tell me this isn't about Obi-Wan. _Then his eyes went to Zee, seeing how calm the master was, and he wondered, _What happened to you?_

"Relax you should, Padawan," Yoda said. "A matter of life and death this council is not. For your benefit it is." He glanced at Mace.

"Anakin, it has been brought to our attention that you need a new master."

"Until Master Obi-Wan returns, you mean." _Why did I say that? Of course that's what he meant! _But Anakin could take no chance.

"Yes. Until Master Obi-Wan returns. But that might be long delayed. That rests with the Force." Mace turned to Zee. "We've already spoken to Master Zee, and he agrees that he cannot take on the responsibility of a padawan just now." He was looking at Reeft now. "Your padawan has passed all the Trials, both those in the field and those given here at Temple."

Reeft bowed. "Thank you, Master. He will be glad to hear that."

"You are now free to do a favor for a friend." Mace steepled his fingers. "When he realized that he must leave Temple for a while, Obi-Wan suggested that you take Anakin under your care. The Council chose instead to have Ferus work with you. And now, though most masters would rest between padawans, we ask that you take Anakin under your wing." His expression softened. "Will you do this in Obi-Wan's name?"

Reeft didn't even hesitate. "Gladly." He frowned. "But what of the mission Ferus and I were to be sent on?"

"You will go with Anakin instead. Master X'on and Knight Ferus will attend the diplomatic summit on Cad'rich."

Reeft nodded. "Yes, Master."

"May the Force be with you," Mace said.

Reeft led the way out of the room. The minute the doors were closed, he led Anakin to a small alcove, away from where Ferus sat, no longer meditating. "Is this all right with you?" Reeft asked softly. "No one can ever replace Obi-Wan, or teach as he did, so I won't try. I'll be your temporary master until he returns, and try to do the best I can. Will you accept me as his short-term stand-in?"

Anakin's eyes, unaccountably, burned with tears. He looked down so Reeft wouldn't see his expression.

But Reeft seemed to guess. "Each time I spoke to Obi-Wan, I could hear in his voice and see in his actions how close the two of you have become. When he returns, that closeness will still be there, though it might have to be awakened. I won't risk hurting that."

"Th-thank you." Anakin tried hard to release his sadness. "I miss him every day, and it gets worse instead of better."

"That's because you and Obi-Wan were meant to be together through all the hard times that are coming." He closed his eyes and whispered, "Force, hear me again: send Obi-Wan home soon. You can feel how his padawan needs him, and I'm sure Obi-Wan is sending pleas for you to bring him back. Listen to us and bring these two back together."

Anakin's tongue spoke without checking with him. "Do you really think the Force hears you? It's the Light Force that did this to Obi-Wan and separated us in the first place."

"If I didn't believe that the Force can change things for the better, I'd have no right to be a Jedi."

Anakin winced. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean to imply-"

"We all question the Force, Anakin. The trick is this: when you ask a question, settle back for a while and listen for the answer. It will come, maybe when you least expect it, but never unless you listen."

The words, so much like those Obi-Wan might have spoken, swept away Anakin's bitterness. The feeling would return, but it had suffered a defeat, and that was a step in the right direction. "Yes, Master." A pause. "Thank you."

"Will you go to your quarters? I'm going to speak with Ferus." A look of pain crossed his face. "I didn't think we would be separated so soon."

"I could find another master."

"Obi-Wan wanted you with me; I'm here. After the hundred times he's saved my ass, I owe him this."

Anakin's jaw dropped as he watched Reeft turn away.

Reeft glanced at Anakin over his shoulder. "Don't look so shocked. Even Obi-Wan says 'ass' once in a while."

"Not around me," Anakin muttered, but Reeft didn't seem to hear.

The door to the Council Chamber opened and Yoda floated out on his hover-chair. "Anakin? Speak to you I would."

Reeft glanced at them. "When you're finished, please still report to your quarters."

"Yes, Master." Anakin fell into step behind Yoda as the aged master started down the hallway.

"Walk beside me will you?"

Anakin did so.

"A word I would have with you about the Dark Force you sensed. Describe it to me would you? How did it leave?"

"It disappeared. Winked out. Master Gareth thought-"

"Know what he thinks I already do. Want _your_ impression."

Anakin considered that, casting aside the question why Yoda would be asking him when there were so many masters to ask. "It did wink out. Not like the presence faded. It was like the presence never existed."

"Think you do that the person died?"

Anakin shook his head at once. "Master Qui-Gon told me that when someone dies in the Light Force, there's an echo. I just assumed eh Dark Force would be like that."

"True that is. Hmm. So left the presence did not, and died it did not. Then what remains?"

Sweat broke out on Anakin's forehead. "It's still here."

"Yes." Yoda closed his eyes for a moment. "Spied on its thoughts I did, and though most of these I could not read, this came through: the presence seeking you was."

"Me?" Anakin was too nervous to be embarrassed that his voice squeaked. "Why?" _Oh. I'm the Chosen One. Right. I forgot._

"Protected from now on you will be. At your side a Jedi will always be. And so accompany you I will." He reached out and touched Anakin's shoulder. "Until find the source of this disturbance we do, no Jedi safe is here at Temple. Ask I do that calm you remain, and help younger padawans. Hide this information from none will I. Knowledge power is, and secrets kept among the Jedi there cannot be."

"Isn't there someone strong enough in the Light Force to sense where the Dark Force presence went?"

"Feel it we cannot. Feel it none can, at least not yet. Meditating and seeking it the Council is, but talented this chameleon is." Yoda grimaced. "Frustrated our efforts are being. Whoever this is, powerful in the Dark Force- studied the Dark Force for many years- he or she is. And to know that this happened while he or she has been masquerading as a Jedi… Perhaps tend to our own walls we should before go out into the universe we should." He sighed. "And yet, impossible that is." He stopped. "Speakng to you I am as if a council member you are. Apologize I do. Much this is to heap on a young one's shoulders."

"Master Obi-Wan would always discuss important things with me."

"As will Reeft. As an equal partner he will treat you. That is why his padawan you will be for a time."

"As soon as you know that Master Obi-Wan is coming home, will you tell me?"

Yoda nodded. "You the first person I tell will be."

oOo

Obi-Wan drew his cloak about his shoulders and pressed his back against the chilling rock face. The ledge above him shielded him from the rain, but the wind howled and shrieked, making its way under the ledge intermittently.

He missed the woven reed shield he'd made, but didn't regret leaving it behind. Hurling the shield, low and fast, had distracted the al-gi-las long enough to allow him to escape. As often happened, he had heard them coming, but a pair had slithered up, silently, behind him. And without the Force to guide his senses, he hadn't been aware of them until it was almost too late.

Settling himself to wait the storm out, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and centered himself, calling on the Force that was like a dim light deep in an impenetrable forest. Daily, he struggled to keep his faith and to dispel fear. Daily, the Force refused to give him more than a drop of the living liquid he had become used to drinking whenever he chose. True, he'd never been able to feel the world rushing around him with every Force-pulse, as Qui-Gon could, but-

_Really?_

The voice was so soft Obi-Wan might have missed it. Except it was that still voice that he'd been waiting for. _Yes. I've never had the abilities other Jedi have. And that's all right with me, as long as I have-_

_You have many more abilities than you realize, Jedi. You are no longer a child. List what you can do._

Obi-Wan drew into himself all the things he couldn't do, the things he asked the Force to help him do each and every day, then released them, leaving only what he had accomplished in his lifetime. _Do you want abilities outside the Force, or-_

_The Force is everywhere/everything/always. There are no abilities outside the Force. The Force sustains all._

Obi-Wan felt a soft stinging on his cheek, as if he'd been slapped.

_Stop stalling. What can _you_ do, Obi-Wan Kenobi?_

Having the Force call him by name sealed off the rest of Obi-Wan's hesitation. _I am skilled with a lightsaber._

'_Skilled'. _Another slap. _Stop veiling yourself in modesty. It becomes you, but this is neither the time nor place._

_I graduated at the top of my class in lightsaber training. AndI can fly all Republic-built ships with ease. I know more about the worlds of the Republic than some-_

Slap. Harder this time. Obi-Wan resisted the urge to reach up and rub the spot.

_-most Jedi, and I know more about the Republic than ninety percent of those in the Senate. I know the Outer Worlds almost as the librarians know them. _He sensed the slap coming again. _And regarding some worlds, especially out-of-the-way backwaters that I have visited, I know more than the Temple librarians._

_Speak of mundane things. Chores, 'home skills'._

_I cook- _he blushed- _better than Qui-Gon. _Guilt assailed him when he said that, and he ducked his head, reaching up to see how warm his cheeks were. They were quite flushed. _Can I please stop?_

_Go on. What else?_

_I keep a neater house?_

_That's preference. What else are you good at?_

_Working with Anakin?_

If the Force could sound frustrated, It did. _Make that a statement._

_I work well with Anakin. Under my teachings, he has grown faster than most padawans, and that is only in part due to his own initiative. _He groaned. _This is hard. Please, I see your point. You want me to stop thinking that I'm weak and just-_

_You don't see the point yet because your heart is still that of a slave who has worked his way up through the ranks, and yet can't forget his lowly origins. Talk now about yourself in comparison to Yoda._

_I'm nothing compared to-_

The slap this time was so hard and burned so fiercely that Obi-Wan clapped a hand over the burn and cried out.

The Force waited, but Obi-Wan sensed his grace period and his allowances of hesitations and denials were just about used up. The problem was this: he seriously didn't think he compared to Yoda at all. What could he make up? And of course the Force would know when he was lying.

_I am… wise. In the ways of dealing with other Jedi, especially younglings. Yoda is also wise in that area. I am wise in putting the minds of others at ease: strangers, friends. Like Yoda, I'm patient._

_That was hard for you. Do you know why? _A pause, barely long enough for Obi-Wan to draw a breath. _You've come to believe that you are as weak as the Jedi Masters once made you out to be. Your gifts were never extolled to you as a child, and your hard work was scarcely rewarded. 'Kenobi had to work hard to get even this far.' That's what you are used to hearing. Now get used to this: you are a great Jedi Master, just possibly the greatest of your generation. Even now, without the strong Force connection others have, you are successfully listening to and talking to the Force. How many others can say they have had such an intimate and personal conversation? Not many. Number Anakin and Yoda among those, and there are only two more left. _Another pause, then, impossibly, it sounded as if the Force was amused. _You're a great student of meditation, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Take this and meditate on only this one thing for fourteen days. Then I will return. Here is the sentence you will repeat to yourself: I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, child of the Light, am a great Jedi Master._

Obi-Wan was stunned enough to blurt out, "What is this? Self-help 101, Professor Light Force presiding?" He flushed to hear how insubordinate he sounded.

But the Force was _laughing _now. _Bravo, Obi-Wan! The Force is a thing to be revered and studied, but also to be trusted like an old friend. And to trust an old friend, you must let down your guard. _Another chuckle, then, all business, _Repeat the statement._

Obi-Wan feared for a moment that he wouldn't be able to remember it, but over the years, out of necessity, he had developed a knack for memorization. _I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, child of the Light, am a great Jedi Master. _The moment the thought crossed his mind, a hundred doubts rose to challenge it.

_You were right when you told Qui-Gon that you doubt. And you asked to have your doubts challenged, yes? Let it not be said the Force doesn't listen to prayers. Say it again. Aloud._

"I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, child of the Light, am a great Jedi Master." It felt just as ridiculous saying it the second time, and Obi-Wan found himself glad that no one was around to hear him speaking such lies.

One last slap, this one so hard Obi-Wan's teeth rattled in his head and when he reached up, the skin of his cheek had split open so that a rivulet of blood trickled down into his beard.

_What Qui-Gon really needed to do with you was whack you over the head with the handle of his lightsaber once in a while. Repeat it again, and this time, no matter how you feel, shout it._

Obi-Wan drew in a breath, his mouth open. _Force give me strength, _he prayed, knowing he needed it.

The Light Force surged around him and through him. It would retreat again, but for that one moment, Obi-Wan's sheer power rivaled Yoda's.

"I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a child of the Light, am a GREAT JEDI MASTER!"

Echoes flew back to him, telling him what he'd just said. Obi-Wan found that he was shaking.

The Force-level inside him was back down again. _Now you can meditate. _And the voice was gone.

Breathing heavily, heart racing as if he'd just run for an hour, Obi-Wan closed his eyes, sat, back straight and hands in his lap, and meditated.

oOo

The ship settled like a feather on the platform attached to the Jedi Temple. Anakin glanced at Master Reeft.

"Smooth," Reeft allowed, but where such a reserved word might have been taken for grudging praise, the twinkle in Reeft's eye let Anakin know that he was being teased. "But I'm sure you've been doing that for five years or more."

"Did Obi-Wan tell you what kind of pilot I am?"

"Not directly, but I've seen him light up when he's telling someone about your flying. He's always careful not to praise too much, but anyone can see how proud he is of what you can do." He shifted a little, settling himself more comfortably in the copilot's seat. "Tell me. How did you find our first mission?"

_I was glad to be out of Temple. _Anakin grinned, then did his best to look professional. "The negotiations went well." He paused. "Are worlds all over the galaxy like that? Being tempted by the Trade Federation and the Commerce Guild?"

Reeft nodded. "There aren't enough Jedi to try and make peace on all the worlds and to keep the Trade Federation under wraps." He sighed. "What we really need is either a Republic-run merchantry or a way to force the Trade Federation and others to stop terrorizing the outer worlds. We have two ways, or that's how I see it: either set up embargos against the Trade Federation and supply the outer worlds ourselves (that hearkens back to the Republic-run merchantry) until the Trade Federation and others are in compliance with set rules of operation, or let the outer worlds go. We can't continue to exist as we are."

Anakin stared at him. "Would you really just abandon the outer worlds?"

"Never." Reeft's eyes flashed. "But we only have those options. I will fight, as long as I'm able, to keep every planet in the Republic, but…" He shrugged. "I thought I'd lay every option out on the table." Another sigh. "And the Trade Federation isn't the full extent, or even the crux, of our problems."

"Obi said the Chancellor has been in power for too long. He seems all right to me, though."

"Even if the man is 'all right,' it's dangerous to be in one position too long. Take Master Yoda."

"He's been head of the Council forever."

"Only for the last twenty-eight years, and during that time, Yoda has left most of the leading to others. And he spends much time teaching different subjects. Just now, he's teaching younglings. He did that when I was a youngling, but between my time under his teaching and now, he taught lightsaber to senior padawans. Before my time, he had a padawan of his own."

"Who was that?"

"Well, he was Padawan Dooku at the time, but just now I think he goes by Count Dooku."

Anakin blinked. "I've heard of him. Isn't he leading the Separatist movement?"

"Yes. He's seeking to destroy the Republic he helped sustain." Reeft shook his head. "It was a shock to all Jedi when he deserted the Order, but I think it was hardest on Yoda because he was Dooku's master." Reeft gained his feet. "We should get your things. It's traditional for the padawan to quarter with his master, but in this case, I'll offer you a choice." He started out of the cockpit, and Anakin followed, curious. He'd always just assumed he'd have to drag his possessions to his new temporary quarters, then on to the quarters he'd shared with Obi-Wan when his real master returned. Reeft went on, "You can either room with me, or stay in the quarters you and Obi-Wan shared. I'm sure Obi-Wan wouldn't mind, and my quarters are only two doors down, as you know, so we could still easily reach each other if and when the need arose. What do you say?" He keyed open the ship's hatch and jumped out, not bothering to activate the ramp.

Anakin followed him. There was no one waiting to meet them, and even though Anakin hadn't really believed there would be, a small, secret corner of his heart had been hoping Obi-Wan would be standing on the platform, strong and well again, ready to take his padawan back. Seeing that they were alone, Anakin groaned softly and blinked to hide the sudden tears that came. He hated himself for those tears, thinking of them as the products of a weak mind. He hadn't been this prone to cry when he'd been on Tatooine.

Abruptly, Reef stopped and dropped to his knees.

Anakin, almost tripping over him, caught himself and started to speak, reaching out a hand. Had his temporary master fallen from weakness? Was something wrong in the Force? Anakin reached out with his feelings, seeking the Force even as his hand settled on Reeft's shoulder.

The man, if he noticed, gave no sign. He held quite still, his eyes closed, his breathing regular, and Anakin had the sudden realization that Reef was meditating. Right there in the middle of the landing platform, just like he was alone in his quarters. Obi-Wan had been prone to meditate, Anakin would have almost said, every time the wind changed, but this spontaneous, unprompted, public meditation was something new.

Confused, Anakin reached out instinctively, seeking Reeft's mind. He knew it was spying- Force help him, he'd learned _that _lesson well- but he couldn't stop himself.

A feeling of _reach_, so powerfully driven that Anakin couldn't believe it came from the soft-spoken Jedi before him. _We never shared a bond, Obi-Wan, but if you can hear me through the river that is the Force, come home. Your padawan misses you. The rest of us worry about you. You've been gone for too long and we miss your light. Come home. _A pause, and that feeling of reach disappeared, becoming only the normal talking between minds tat Anakin was used to. _Would you like to send him a message?_

_How can you be sure he'll hear it?_ Anakin felt slightly foolish asking this, but mostly because he couldn't see how in the name of the Light Force Obi-Wan could possibly hear half a galaxy away. (He guessed Degoba had to be at least that far, if not further.)

_I'm not sure. But I have hope. Obi-Wan went away to meditate on the Force. He may have been given some great insights. Even if I haven't learned how to transmit over so great a distance, he could have learned to receive._

_How did you know he's on Degoba?_

Reeft blinked; through the Force, Anakin sensed it. _You shouldn't be so eager to share that information. I didn't know, and I'm not sure how you came to know, when it's supposed to be a secret between your master and Yoda. _For the first time since Anakin had come to know him, Reeft sounded angry. _Never mind; I don't care how you know. But take care that you don't reveal that bit of information to anyone else. If Obi-Wan hasn't been given some great gift by the Force, or if he hasn't been returned to his former strength, you could be speaking his death sentence. _He sighed, but when Anakin tried to speak through the bond, Reeft held up an invisible hand. _I'm not really angry with you. Only fear for Obi-Wan caused me to speak like that. I'm sorry. It was harsh. I know you want to protect him just as much as I do, maybe even more. _A breath, and Anakin felt all of Reeft's exasperation and concern fly out into the Force, where it was dispelled. _Do you want to try and send him a message? There's no guarantee that he'll hear it, or, if hearing it, he'll be able to respond, but there's no chance he'll hear if we don't send._

_Can I ask one question first?_

_Yes. Always._

Anakin hesitated. He'd expected impatience. _Why did you assume that he's far away?_

_Because if he was close, say here on Coruscant, I don't think he could have stayed away this long. Besides, it's just common sense that Yoda would take him somewhere far off. And, for what it's worth, Degoba is thirty-two hours from here through hyperspace._

_How do you know that so precisely? Master._

_Call me Reeft if it makes you more comfortable. And I know because, like everyone, I have something that I'm very good at. In my case, I have a talent for two things: I am the best chef here at Temple, possibly in Coruscant, and I have a great head for distances and the time it will take to get to certain places. I've only needed to look at the maps of the Republic twice, and I can tell you the name of every planet and its moons, and the distance you'll travel in what amount of time._

_I never thought… I thought Jedi could only have certain talents, like being good at connecting to the Force or using a lightsaber. Or flying._

_Strange you should add flying to that list. The Jedi didn't teach flying in my day. And you neglected patience, meditation, half-meditation, balance, diplomatic skills and having an innate ability to put anyone at ease. I haven't been mentioning your master's name since we met because I figured you've had enough of people bringing him up in an attempt to comfort you, but in this case, it's warranted: all those things I mentioned, and please add 'using a lightsaber' to that list, are skills Obi-Wan has in abundance. I only mention that because, while we both want to protect him, we want to do it for different reasons, and you might want to see if yours are the right ones._

Fearing suddenly that he'd betrayed himself, that Reeft somehow knew about his sexual fantasies, Anakin demanded, _How do you know why I want to protect him?_

_I don't, but I have a pretty good idea. _Reeft settled himself right on the platform, crossing his legs. When he felt Anakin's surprise, he sent, _This may take a while. I still have to tell you, after our discussion of reasons to protect Obi-Wan, why I was prompted to call to him just now. And we may find other things to talk about. Sit. Make yourself comfortable._

_How do you know other ships won't be landing? Aren't we going to look pretty foolish out here?_

_If Obi-Wan didn't teach you that image isn't important to a Jedi, I'm going to take him into one of the Youngling classes Yoda teaches and make sure he learns it._

Anakin flushed with anger. _Don't blame Obi-Wan. He taught me that. _

_Ah. Good. I hardly thought he would be the sort of master to neglect such an important lesson. Sit. _

Anakin did, but he was still angry. _Then why did you say it?_

_To make you realize that others judge Obi-Wan by your actions. They judge his teaching ability by how you respond to things._

_That's not fair. What if I'd turned out to be a dullard? Or what about Xanatos? He turned out evil, and no one blames Qui-Gon._

_They did, once, and Qui-Gon was called a 'loose cannon' for years afterward. The opinion of only a few didn't change towards him: that of Yoda and others that were just as wise stayed in his favor. As for the rest, they only changed back after seeing Obi-Wan grow up under Qui-Gon's tutelage. 'Look,' they would say. 'Qui-Gon, that crazy, has taken on the boy no one wanted. And look! Wonders never cease! The boy isn't worthless or meant to be a farmer!'_

Anakin's anger soared. _Obi-Wan isn't worthless! Don't you ever say that!_

Reeft reached out, his eyes still closed, and laid a hand on Anakin's arm. _Let go of your anger, Anakin. It betrays you._

_What the hell does that mean? 'It betrays you.' Obi-Wan says that all the time, and I don't -_

_Then listen. If you don't understand, listen. If anything betrays you, meaning your words, your thoughts, your actions, that only means that you, as a Jedi, are allowing those things to fester in your mind and grow. Someone once said to me: watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words. They become actions. Watch your actions. They become your character. Watch your character. It becomes your destiny. And I don't want you to react to that just now. I wasn't going to assign you any meditation exercises during the time you're under my teaching, but this is one I'm going to strongly suggest, and it's your responsibility to accept it and make it your own: meditate on what I just said. If you need me to write it down, I will. For now, let it go._

Reeft took his hand back. _Are you ready to talk about why you want to protect Obi-Wan? Here are my reasons, and they're only three. The Force told me to, it is every Jedi's duty to protect his fellow Jedi, and Obi-Wan is my friend. Note the order. It's important. All things serve the Force, and for good reason._

Anakin rolled his eyes. _I know. The Force is all-knowing, all-powerful._

_If you really believed what you say, then we wouldn't be having this discussion._

Anakin gaped. He couldn't help it. _You don't know me. How can you say I don't believe? And why are you judging me, anyway?_

_We judge everyone we see, consciously or subconsciously. It's a separate thought process entirely to unjudge them. And again, your anger betrays you. But enough of that. If we were going to have a proving test, whereby I had to try and make you believe that the Force is all-knowing and all-powerful, we might be here until long after Obi-Wan comes back. Back to my reasons. And you will listen without interruption, or I will give you to another, stricter master. I'm doing this as a favor to Yoda, a favor to Obi-Wan, and because I like you._

_You don't sound like it._

_Weren't there times when Obi-Wan sounded just like this?_

A beat. _Yes._

_And he does more than like you. He loves you. You're second in his mind only to the Force._

_Third. The Force, Qui-Gon, me._

_No. Second, because that's the kind of person Obi-Wan is. He spent five years thinking of you every waking moment and taking care of you. Believe me. You're second. Just like Obi-Wan, who loves you, I don't want to be abused, so you'll at least pay me the courtesy of listening without interruption. I'll give you plenty of time to object and question me when I'm done. Agreed?_

Anakin remembered times when he'd yelled at Obi-Wan, or refused to listen to him. Obi-Wan had asked many times for just this same sort of respect. _All right._

_The Force is first, because the Force must be first. And it came to me in a dream. Not once, but once a night for twelve nights in a row. 'Obi-Wan is going to help bring balance to the Force,' it said. Now I don't know if that means Obi-Wan is supposed to help you, since you're the Chosen One, or if he has more than a supporting role to play, but whichever it is, the Force made sure I heard the message. Several other Jedi who have known Obi-Wan over the years were sent the exact same words._

The padawan remembered how Yoda had said that he and Anakin weren't the only ones to dream about Obi-Wan. _Who else?_

_Bant. Garen. Mace. Adi Gallia. Siri. Ferus. I'm pretty sure that's everyone, but I might have missed one or two. We never came together officially, but reported our dreams to Yoda, one after the other. I gave my report the day before the Dark Force made its presence known here at Temple, and believe me, my thoughts were very much with Obi-Wan._

He went on. _The second reason we can gloss over, because I'm sure you know that it's a Jedi's duty to protect his or her fellow Jedi, just like it's his or her duty to help protect the innocent. Right?_

Anakin nodded.

_And the third reason is obvious, too. Obi-Wan and I have been friends since we were four years old. We met the first day I came to Temple and we've been close ever since._

_What kept you from believing the rumors about him?_

_For one, I didn't hear them. For another, Obi-Wan and I were too close by the time I started hearing them for me to care. _He sighed. _In some ways, it's harder on you, because you came into the middle of all the rumors, not really getting a chance to know Obi-Wan outside Temple._

_But I did. I learned about him on Ragoon 6._

_Is that where the three of you disappeared to after you dispelled the blockade on Naboo? I wondered. Well, then you should know what it's like to hear the rumors, but not hear them, because you know the truth._

Anakin blushed. _I heard them. And I was angry about them. I never… I never tried to just ignore them. _His blush deepened. _I know that was wrong._

_Good. If you understand it, you can let go of the rumors- and the anger that goes with them- and devote yourself to showing what a talented master Obi-Wan is. Not that many Jedi now believe that he was once rejected by all the masters in the Temple save three. Obi-Wan's hard work and natural talents have done much to erase the misconceptions. _He paused. _So, Anakin, what are your reasons for protecting him? And if you'll speak the whole truth, I can help you. If you hold things back, we may as well skip this discussion._

_You wouldn't even try?_

_If you get stuck, I'll try to help. But you have to start out wanting to tell the truth, or this is going to be a waste of both our time. _He sighed. _Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm just like Obi-Wan. He has much more patience than I will ever have, and where he's been willing to gentle you through things, I tend to cut to the chase. That's part of my nature. So will ou agree to tell the truth?_

Anakin considered it. If he agreed, in effect made a small promise, he'd have to tell about his dreams. He blushed, bit his lip and wondered if he should just skip this whole thing and tell Reeft he couldn't tell the truth. _He'll just drop it. He said so. And who's to stop me from growing without analyzing my feelings? _But then he remembered what Reeft had said about people judging Obi-Wan by how his padawan acted, and his loyalty won over his embarrassment. _I'll tell the truth._

_Excellent. _Reeft sounded genuinely glad.

Anakin decided he'd try to give other reasons before giving the central one, but that was too close to lying for comfort. _I'm in love with Obi-Wan._ He waited, holding his breath, his eyes closed, thinking he'd raise his shields if Reeft started in with a tirade.

_That's hard. I should know. I'm in love with a Jedi I'd never tell, a Jedi who would just maybe accept, and that would be the destruction of us both._

_What? _Anakin wanted to think of something more creative, but he couldn't.

_You know Master Bant, of course._

_Does she know you-?_

_No, and I aim to keep it that way, so keep that under your hat, if you would._

_I haven't told anyone half the secrets I know. _Anakin swallowed. _But since you told me that, maybe I should._

_I don't want to know any more than you've told me. Isn't it enough that you told me about your love? Besides- _he chuckled- _you've already told me how close Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are._

_Did you already know they're together?_

_As a couple? _Reeft laughed again. _That explains some things. And no, I didn't know. When I said 'close' I was referring to how they used to be, how one could finish the other's sentences._

_I never saw that._

_Mind if I ask a question before we go on?_

_No._

_Does Master Yoda know about them?_

_They had to argue their case before the Council seven years ago._

Reeft frowned. _And their love was allowed? Mind telling me how they managed that?_

_Well, Master Yoda and Master Mace are together, and Yoda said something about one couple a century being able to succeed in loving each other within their duty to the Force. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon love the Force first, then each other. _Anakin blushed. _I thought everyone knew about that._

_No one knows about it. Yoda and the Council must have assumed many of us would challenge the Council and ask to love. _Reeft sighed. _I'm not saying if love among Jedi is right or wrong. It's only been denied for many long centuries. _He shook his head. _To think that some Jedi are now allowed to love. It must have been difficult for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to prove that they could remain dedicated Jedi in the face of their love for each other. But who better to break tradition than the 'loose cannon' and his unconventional padawan._

_Are you angry at the Council for denying love to you and Bant?_

_When I don't know if she would try it, and when I have no idea if we would be able to follow the Force first and our love second? I'm sure there are more Jedi than just Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon who could be lovers and yet live within the promise they made to the Force, but probably not as many as I'd guess you're thinking. _

Anakin blushed. _Is one of your other talents guessing things?_

_Yes, actually. And it's called intuition. You have it in abundance, or so Obi-Wan has told me. To truly love someone, and then be able to set her or him aside to follow the Force isn't an easy thing. I'm not surprised Yoda managed it. Though I am surprised to think of him with Mace. _He covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing out loud. _I wonder how they would manage a coupling._

Anakin felt the heat in his cheeks increasing. _I never thought about that._

_And why should you? I'd guess you're mostly ignorant of the sexual side of things, despite your age. The Jedi do shelter their padawans from that, it's true. It's a wonder any of us discover the wonders of sex._

_You… You speak like you've had it._

Reeft blushed. _Guilty as charged, though it was originally supposed to be part of a mission. My master and I were- _He stopped. _That's a story for another day. We don't need to be sitting here for an eternity. Besides, I'd rather we finish what we started._

Anakin wanted Reeft to go on with his story, but for purely selfish reasons, so he kept his mouth shut. _What more do you want to know?_

_Does Obi-Wan know you love him?_

_No. No. He can't, either._

_Why?_

Anakin floundered. _Welll… well, what good would it do? He could never love me back. He's with Qui-Gon._

_I can sense how much that hurts, and that you can admit it is a mark in your favor. _Reeft wrapped Anakin in a mental embrace. _But if I know Obi-Wan, I think he would be relieved to know what drives you. And take the word of someone who has been in love half a dozen times in his life, and has had to let each of them go: once this is out, you will start to feel better and your feelings for Obi-Wan will begin to change. Slowly, after your confession, you'll start to love him as a friend._

_I can't see how it's going to be that way. I'll never be able to stop loving Obi-Wan. _He bit his lip. _Or having dreams about him._

_You should give it a chance to work before you discount it._

_Did you… you know, confess to the people you loved?_

_Only to one. You may know her. Her name is Siri._

_Obi's talked about her, but I've never met her._

_She stays busy. With the other five, I confessed to my master, and she helped me get through it._

_Did you ever have a crush on her? Your master, I mean?_

Reeft laughed. _Somehow, I can't imagine having a crush on Yaddle. She's one of Yoda's species. That's why I wondered how he and Mace do it._

Anakin tried to picture a female version of Yoda paired with tall and gangly Reeft, and he laughed, too.

_So will you tell him?_

Anakin sobered at once. _What if he's angry with me?_

Reeft raised a mental eyebrow, but didn't speak through the bond, leaving Anakin to consider his own words.

The padawan did, and realized why Reeft was silent. He smiled a little. _I guess that would be like asking if Yoda would get angry if I stuck my tongue out at him. _His smile broadened. _Obi rarely gets even frustrated. It's almost impossible to make him truly angry._

'_Obi.' That's interesting. Most padawans don't have endearments for their masters._

_My relationship with my master is different than most._

_True. So, now that you know you love Obi-Wan and that you're protecting him because of that, let me ask you this: Could you ever leave him to follow the Force_

Anakin shook his head at once, then stopped. _I should be able to, but…_

_But. Yes, that sums it up. You're not going to like what I'm about to say, especially because you don't trust the Force, but it's the truth: you must learn to let go of Obi-Wan a little, enough so that he can be free to follow the will of the Force, and so you can do the same._

_I don't want him to be hurt._

_To live is to be hurt. Whenever you get done meditating on that first bit of wisdom I gave you, I'd like you to meditate on the second: to live is to be hurt. Will you consider it?_

_Yes. _And he would. He loathed meditation, but sometimes meditating just meant thinking about something a lot.

Reeft shifted, resettling himself. _I'm not going to lie to you, Anakin. We have a long way to go before we understand each other. And you still need to grow in some areas. But I think we've made some progress today._

That was true, and Anakin, despite the questions he was left with and the realization that he'd told his deepest secret to an almost-stranger, felt better. And thinking of Obi-Wan, he sent, _Obi would be proud of me. It's usually hard for me to sit so still._

_I'm sure he would be proud. _Reeft rose to his feet. _Shall we go get settled? We'll start practice tomorrow. _He paused. _And Yoda tells me you need help with your studies._

Anakin groaned. _It's not that I don't get them. It's just that…_

_You've had other things on your mind. _Reeft started for the Temple entrance.

_Wait. What about contacting Obi-Wan?_

_Yes. We should do that. I can't believe I forgot. _Another laugh. _Force, am I getting old already?_

Anakin glanced around. _Why did you suddenly want to talk to him here?_

Reeft smiled. _That's going to take little time to explain. _He returned to Anakin's side. _Your call, Anakin. Shall we continue out here, or inside?_

_I don't care if we're seen, but I bet your quarters are more comfortable._

_A man after my won heart. In we go._


	26. The Lonely Years 3

**Author's Note:** Okay, this is the last "The Lonely Years". I can almost guarantee that. Enjoy!

The Lonely Years (3)

It was nearly dawn before Reeft and Anakin headed off to bed, though they'd started well before sunset. Reeft's rivals in terms of sheer stamina were few, and only a handful at Temple could challenge Anakin for raw determination. They hadn't talked of why Reeft had stopped out on the platform, but Anakin hadn't felt the need to ask. Just then, what was more important to him was that he learned to _reach_.

"It's a trust exercise," Reeft explained as the two of them settled themselves on his couch, leaning back, relaxed. "Did Obi-Wan ever ask you to jump while you were wearing a blindfold and trust that he would catch you with the Force?"

Anakin shook his head. "No, but he told me to jump, blindfolded, and trust that the Force would guide me to safety."

Reeft chuckled. "Ah. One step further, then. And were you able to do it?"

"Yes. Except… We had to work on it for a week, and Obi-Wan had to talk me into it." Anakin flushed. "I haven't worked on something that hard in a long time. And I was glad when it was over."

"Would you ever willingly try it again?"

_No. _He swallowed, wondering if this was how Reeft was going to teach him to reach Obi-Wan. "If it helps me gain something or learn something- something I can use to talk to Obi- then I'd try it again."

"Spoken honestly. Good. I won't be making you try it now, but you'll want to think about trying it later, with someone to supervise, of course. For now, I'll make my point: I asked you if you've ever done that trust exercise because to reach Obi-Wan, you're going to need to trust the Force. Degoba is far away, true? And ordinarily, the chance of two Jedi, even two as closely linked as you and your master, would be slim to none. But with the Force, all things are possible."

"But the Force makes our reaching each other possible at all. How can you coax more out of it?"

"You're not asking for more. You've just never had the need to reach so far to reach anyone. The Force is always capable of such reaching; you just have to follow its flow, and you'll be able to reach, too. Close your eyes. Center on what you want: to talk to Obi-Wan."

_I need him, Force. Let me talk to him. _The words were mostly perfunctory; Anakin didn't think the Force was listening. Or if it was, he didn't really need its help. Now that he knew the trick of seeking another's mind, he didn't need anything to lead him in the right direction. He extended his senses, seeking Obi-Wan in the endless blackness that rested between them. Thousands of parsecs away, he prayed Obi-Wan heard his voice and responded.

Thousands of parsecs away… He'd never even sensed Obi-Wan or been able to contact him when they were half a planet away. How in the name of Tatooine's twin suns could he hope to even feel Obi-Wan's mind over such a great distance, let alone talk to him? After all, he hadn't been able to sense Obi-Wan since his master left Coruscant, and that very lack had left a huge hole in his heart, a hole he'd been trying to fill with lightsaber practice and flying. He hadn't succeeded. The hole had only sent out little tendrils that touched all other aspects of his life.

"Having some difficulty?"

Anakin turned his head and glared at Reeft. The master's eyes were open. "You were just pretending to call him, weren't you?"

Reeft's gaze hardened. "What a waste of time. For me and for you. Do you really think I would go to such elaborate measures to hurt my friend's padawan? You must think I have a malicious streak." He grabbed Anakin's shoulders, his hands tight on them. "I would never do anything to hurt Obi-Wan, you, or anyone else. Not intentionally. If I didn't think we would have a chance of reaching Obi-Wan, I wouldn't have suggested it. Life's too short for nasty lies like that." He drew back from Anakin. "You're having difficulty because you aren't trusting the Force. Tell me if you were thinking something along these lines: he's so far away. How will I ever reach him? No Jedi has ever been able to reach that far."

Anakin stared down at his clasped hands. "Some of that, yeah."

"I guessed as much. Well, good. Now that you've named the doubts, let me say this: there is no distance in the Force. The Force is everywhere at once, and by being everywhere, and by knowing everything, each place is right next door to the one where you are. The Force doesn't work in parsecs but in the distance between one thought and the next."

"If that's true, then why can't most Jedi talk through the Force over long distances?"

"Most Jedi don't need to. It's called a communicator. Most Jedi use technology. But just because we don't use the Force to talk doesn't mean we can't."

"Have you used it before?"

"My master, when she learned that I was something of a savant when it came to maps and distances, insisted I learn to trust the Force for communication. For three years, all we did was work on that. Every time we contacted the Temple, I had to do it through the Force. And talk directly to Yoda, which was a challenge in and of itself."

Anakin nodded. "It's hard to talk to him sometimes. He's so wise and…"

"Ancient? Part of the reverence we all have for him is that he's been alive for so long and seen so much. And, seeing so much, and making an effort to understand it, he is wise." He paused. "Did Obi-Wan leave anything of his here?"

Anakin blinked. Here was another confession coming, and he knew this one couldn't be avoided. "He left most of his things here, only taking two complete changes of clothes and an extra pair of boots. He took his lightsaber with him, of course, and he took a focusing crystal, like the ones younglings use when they're first learning to feel the Force." He blushed. That last, maybe, he should have kept to himself. Now he wanted to explain Obi-Wan's actions so they couldn't be misconstrued. "Master Yoda suggested he take it." But Reeft didn't ask how Anakin knew what Obi-Wan had taken, and so the padawan forgot what he'd done in Obi-Wan's quarters for a little while.

Reeft nodded, seeming not to find anything strange about it. "I keep one by my bed at night for when I wake up and have trouble meditating." He saw the surprise on Anakin's face and shrugged. "Not all Jedi come to mediation easily at all times, and a focusing crystal is perfect for just such times. You may grow tired of hearing this- or maybe you haven't heard it before- but Obi-Wan was the only padawan in my year who came to meditation with enjoyment and ability to match."

"But… But Obi said he had trouble meditating when he was a youngling." Anakin drew closer to Reeft. It felt so good to say Obi-Wan's name to someone else. He hadn't realized that part of the bond he lacked with Zee was due to his own reluctance to speak of Obi-Wan. And he didn't like talking to other Jedi about his master because he always felt he had to be on the lookout for anything they might say against Obi-Wan, even though no one had said anything of the sort since Anakin and Ferus had made their peace on Rept'thik.

"True. As did most of us. But where most of us had trouble meditating because we couldn't hold still long enough, Obi-Wan lacked ability. And while he gained in ability quickly- he was proficient as his master by the time he turned eleven- the rest of us never sought meditation until we became much older and needed it to focus us in times of trouble. Obi-Wan may be patient by nature, but his ability to remain calm in a hundred different situations rises from the fact that he can meditate fully in a moment's notice, or half-meditate, even, when the situation won't allow full meditation."

"What's half-meditation? You've mentioned it twice now."

"Have you ever noticed Obi-Wan go completely still for a moment, maybe even close his eyes, then come back to the world around him?"

Anakin nodded. "But he's still a lot of the time."

"On missions, I'd be willing to bet that he's engaging in half meditation, not full. And doing it that way- descending to the world halfway between wakefulness and deep meditation- takes half the time and gets just about the same results."

"Then why would anyone do it the other way? And why wouldn't Obi-Wan teach me that way?"

"The answer to both is that half-meditation, though it goes half as deep, takes ten times the concentration of full meditation because you're still aware, on a conscious level, of the world around you. You're only choosing to let exterior things take second place to your thoughts. In full meditation- stop me if you know this-"

"You tune out everything." Anakin was nodding. It was easy to see why Obi-Wan hadn't taught him half-meditation, _especially since I was only fourteen when he left,_ but Anakin wondered if half0meditation would have been easier. He would have been able to see and hear the rest of the world, so he would be aware of threats that didn't show up in the ripples form Force if he was only partly under. "Will you teach me to half-meditate?"

Reeft held up a hand. "Let me finish first. Remember how I said you get 'just about' the same results? That 'just about' is crucial. Healing trances can only be achieved in deep meditation. A Jedi's ultimate sacrifice can only be given in full meditation."

"What's that? Ultimate sacrifice? Do you mean death? Jedi can die while they're not meditating." Anakin laughed uneasily, wishing that he could keep Obi-Wan safe by ordering him not to go into deep meditation. He could just imagine trying to explain that one to his master!

"Death is sacrifice, and I suppose it is the ultimate sacrifice as the universe reckons such things, but the term 'ultimate sacrifice' as the Jedi think of it means one Jedi gives his life force to another so that the second can live."

"Is that like one Jedi giving another Force-sensitive blood so that Force will sustain him or her?"

"I don't know how you can know so much and yet not believe in the Force's true power." Reeft shook his head. "That's a greater puzzle to me than anything else we've discussed. No matter." He turned his eyes on Anakin again. "It's not quite like that, no, for the simple reason that the Jedi giving his blood is still alive afterward. In an ultimate sacrifice, the one giving his or her _entire_ life force dies so that the other can live."

"Who would do that?" Even as he said it, Anakin thought he might, if Obi-Wan was dying and it was the only way.

"A Jedi who is dying might give his life force to someone else to make them stronger for the days ahead. When Master Tahl died, I hear she gave her life force to Qui-Gon because she knew she would never recover, and she knew Qui-Gon would need strength and the knowledge that she cared about him to get him through."

"Where did you-? I never heard that story."

"Obi-Wan told me. He was there at the moment of her death to assist the transfer because Qui-Gon was in too much pain to focus. And after Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan returned to Temple, Obi-Wan needed to talk about it, what it was like to be so connected to another Jedi that when that Jedi died, for a moment Obi-Wan could feel the vastness of the Force and know a little of what it would be like when his own death drew near. None of us want to consider our own deaths, and at sixteen Obi-Wan was being asked to do just that. It changed him, made him come to terms with death as the Jedi die it. In the end, helping Master Tahl die and give her life force to Qui-Gon made Obi-Wan a stronger Jedi." He stopped. "I didn't mean to go into all that. I'm sure you're sick of hearing- from me, at least- how strong Obi-Wan is."

"No. I've been..." He mumbled something.

"Come again?"

"So used to thinking of him as weaker than me that it's good to hear how strong he really is." He chewed his lip and stared at the carpet between his feet. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to let go of how much I want to protect him, but knowing that he's stronger will help when I have to start thinking about it."

"I'm glad you're keeping that in your mind. Back to half meditation. Can I teach you? Not at this moment because I don't know it myself. I've gone into it twice, and one of those times was for my Trials, but that was the last time, and I don't remember how to do it. I can refer you to Jedi that can do it, but, unfortunately, two of the three I know aren't at Temple just now." He said this with a sad smile.

"Obi is one. Is the other Qui-Gon?"

Reeft nodded. "And the third is Yoda. Those are the only ones I know, but there are probably others. None in our year, or in the years immediately around us, but maybe among the older Jedi. SO if you want to learn- and I'll grant you that I think it's a skill all Jedi should have, and one I'll soon be seeking Yoda's help in- you can either go to Yoda, or wait until one of the other two return."

"Who do you think will come back first?"

"Since I don't know why they left, I couldn't say. Not even Yoda knows really why they went. In the end, the Force called and they had to answer. They were helped by the Council, but all beginnings and ends can be traced to the Force." He slipped off the couch abruptly. "It's not required that we sit on the floor for this next bit, but since this posture is close to meditation, and what we're about to attempt is closer to meditation than simply talking mind-to-mind, it's as good a position as any to start in."

Anakin joined him. "I want him to hear me. But I really want to hear from him. That's selfish."

"In such a small, but important, thing as wanting to hear from your master, whom you love, it's all right to be a little selfish. Your need isn't hurting anyone or interfering with a mission. Clear your mind of that thought, and all others." He stopped, laughed softly. "Do you remember when I asked you if Obi-Wan had left anything behind in his quarters?"

Anakin nodded.

"I swear I'm too young to be having forgetful slips like this." He shook his head. "But I've had them all my life. Master Yaddle often said that's because I have too many thoughts going on in my head at once and I haven't spent sufficient time learning how to organize them. So, the reason I asked is because if you have something of Obi-Wan's to hold, it might be easier for you to do the reaching you need to. Would you like to go get something now?"

Anakin stood. "Yes." He knew just what he wanted, too.

Reeft also stood. "I'll have to go with you," he said. "Whatever was here at Temple two weeks ago is still here."

The padawan blushed, but nodded. How could he explain that he wanted to retrieve the item on his own? And how would he explain that he knew just where it was? _I mean, it's not like Obi-Wan just left it sitting out on a shelf. I had to go digging to find it. _With these thoughts running through his head, he led Reeft to Obi-Wan's quarters. Anakin didn't really think of them as his anymore. He hadn't been in them for more than a few hours since Obi-Wan left, and if he kept thinking of them only as 'Obi-Wan's quarters' then there was an unspoken guarantee that Obi-Wan would return to claim them.

The door to Obi-Wan's quarters wasn't locked; no door in the Temple was. Still, Anakin hesitated outside. He'd snuck in here in the dead of night two days after Obi-Wan left, and he'd even slept here once, burying himself deep in Obi-Wan's covers. Now, he was being watched, and he felt guilty, though he wasn't sure why. He'd done what he'd needed to do. He didn't think he would have been able to get through the first months of his separation form his master without sometimes sneaking in to feel the man's presence. Mentally squaring his shoulders, he walked in.

The front room was just as spotless as Obi-Wan had left it. Anakin came in once a month to dust, and he'd cleaned everything just before being assigned as Reeft's padawan. No one told him to dust, and he was somehow positive that he wasn't supposed to be there without _someone_ knowing, but when doing the chores Obi-Wan had taken up once a week when they were at Temple long enough to do more than sleep and get ready for the next mission, he could play at a little game he'd invented. He didn't call it a game, even in his own mind, because sixteen-year old padawans weren't supposed to play games about housework, but it _was_ a game. He pretended that Obi-Wan was an important member of the Council and had been called out to settle some dispute not even Yoda could help. And Anakin, back in their quarters, was getting things made up and nice-looking so that Obi-Wan wouldn't have to do anything when he came back but take Anakin to bed and thank him- in the most satisfying way possible- for all the younger man had done. In these fantasies, Obi-Wan lay, legs spread, on the neatly-made bed, and called Anakin to him. Anakin would lie on top of his master, slip inside him and just be… just be complete. Of course, he only ever got to the cleaning part of the fantasy while in his master's quarters, but he'd finish the rest in the room he'd been given until Obi-Wan came home. And if he closed his eyes tight enough and concentrated, he could hear Obi-Wan's voice in his mind, see Obi-Wan's loving smile and glowing-red hair, and feel Obi-Wan's hands on him.

"Someone cleans in here," Reeft murmured, running his finger over a bookshelf and only coming away with a bit of dust. "I wonder who that might be?" But he was smiling at Anakin, and didn't look the least bit reproachful. "So, where's this item you want to use?"

Anakin blushed, but started at once for the first room at the beginning of the hall. He went in, hitting the lights, though he didn't need them. Going down on one knee beside Obi-Wan's nightstand, he opened the top drawer and took out the holo that was kept there. Hesitating with it in his hands, he braced himself and rose, turning to face Reeft. The confession he'd thought about making earlier- that he came in here sometimes- was nothing compared to this confession, and he hoped only that Obi-Wan didn't mind. Reaching back, stalling, he closed the drawer, then held out the holo. No use hiding it. Reeft would see it eventually.

Reeft took the holo, gazed at it in silence for a moment, then handed it back. "Are you on Ragoon 6?"

Anakin nodded, his eyes going to his master's face. Obi-Wan still had short hair, though it was a great deal longer than when Qui-Gon had cut his padawan braid. And in his arms was little Annie, fast asleep. Qui-Gon had taken the picture, and though Anakin looked like the boy he'd still been at the time, it was easy for him to imagine being sixteen in the picture instead and standing with Obi-Wan. It was easy, in short, to pretend that Annie was their little girl, and that he and Obi-Wan were lovers.

"Who's the little girl?"

Anakin had to clear his throat before he could speak. "She was born Annie Jinn-Kenobi."

Reeft frowned. "And she is now…?"

"Annie Jenn." Anakin swallowed. "She's seven. I don't see her often, but- but she looks more like Obi-Wan every time I do. I don't know how he's going to keep it a secret forever."

"Does she look anything like Qui-Gon?"

Anakin shook his head. "She's not Qui-Gon's. ber'Nac raped Obi-Wan. She's his." His jaw clenched. "Not that we would have ever let ber'Nac take her."

"Easy, young one," Reeft murmured, but he'd taken the picture back and was gazing at it once more. "Annie Jenn." He closed his eyes, and from him Anakin felt a wave of uneasiness.

"What is it?"

Reeft shook his head. "Are you tired of my hidden talents? Sometimes when I see a picture of someone, I can get a general idea of how they felt at that moment. Yet another trait you wouldn't expect a Jedi to have, probably. Here it's… it's as if Obi-Wan felt uneasy."

"There were always malia hunting us. They followed Annie's… poop."

"No, that's not it. See how he's holding Annie? Look at his hands. He isn't holding her as close as he could be, as he might want to be, under normal circumstances. It's as if she makes him uneasy. Or maybe cautious is a better word."

Anakin wondered if he should tell Reeft what Obi-Wan had been told by the Dark Force about his daughter, but decided there were just some things the man didn't need to know.

Reeft seemed to feel Anakin close him out. He handed the holo back and rubbed his hands together briskly. "Well, let's get back. Obi-Wan won't be contacted for our just standing here." He started for the door, and Anakin let him step out into the hall before he spoke.

"Master Reeft?"

The master turned back. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just don't think it's something Obi-Wan would want discussed."

"Did he tell Yoda about it?"

Anakin nodded, wondering where this was going. Would Reeft pressure Yoda, if such a thing were possible?

"Then that's enough for me. Obi-Wan doesn't need me prying into all of his personal affairs." He walked away, and Anakin, much relieved, and embarrassed that he'd thought less of the older Jedi, followed.

Three minutes later, they had resettled themselves on the floor in Reeft's quarters. Reeft had Anakin set the holo on the floor where the padawan could easily see it. "Focus on it," Reeft murmured. "The only thing in the world is Obi-Wan. Each movement you make is an extension of how you feel for him."

"Exactly how I feel?" Anakin blushed.

"Yes. No other way to do this." Reeft paused, and Anakin sensed him reaching out to the Force.

The padawan followed, and he felt that sense of _reach _again almost at once. It was nothing he'd made, and yet he followed it, wishing he could do it himself.

_Think only of Obi-Wan. If he were here, in this room, what would you do?_

_Hold him. Not let him go. Ever. Keep him in my arms and tell him ho much I missed him, how much I needed him here, and that I never want him to go away again._

_Keep going. _More reaching, and now Anakin sensed that they were beyond the Temple, beyond Coruscant.

_How can this-?_

The reaching stopped, and they were back just in each other's minds. _Think only of Obi-Wan. Don't ask. Just think of him. Only him._

Anakin refocused his eyes on the picture, and at once Obi-Wan's voice filled his ears and he longed to have Obi-Wan where he could touch him, see him, know that he was all right. _Obi. Obi. Come home._

Twenty minutes later, still reaching again, Anakin following in Reeft's wake. He felt something, a tickle, at the back of his mind, but he ignored it. And when it grew, pushing at the feeling of reach, making it grow, he ignored it still, thinking only of his master. _Obi-Wan, come home. I miss you. I need you._

A ripple in the Force, and Anakin swore he could smell damp things and mold. He discounted it and called again: _Obi? Obi, can you hear me?_

A sound. Was that a sound? Anakin _reached _now on his own, dimly aware that he was carrying Reeft along for the ride and not begrudging it. _Please, if you hear me…_

_Anakin. _Shock passed down the link as if Obi-Wan was sitting only in the next room. _Padawan mine, is that you? Where are you? Don't tell me you're here._

_No, Master, I'm- _He was so excited, he could feel the connection slipping.

_Calm your mind, _two masters said in perfect stereo.

Anakin chuckled.

_Reeft? Where are you? And why are you and Anakin-?_

_We're on Coruscant, _Reeft answered. _Remember how Master Yaddle taught me to talk over long distances?_

'_To the Force, all distance is the same: that between one thought and the next.' Yes, I remember. I never imagined you would be teaching it to my padawan. Not that I'm not overjoyed. Anakin?_

_Yes? _The padawan bit his lip. He knew he was crying, and prayed only that Obi-Wan wouldn't sense it. He didn't want to hurt his master. Obi-Wan had surely been through enough already.

_How are you?_

Anakin bit his lip harder, thinking he might make it bleed. He wanted to sound calm, grown up, mature. _I want you back. _His mental voice broke and he didn't think he'd be able to hide his tears much longer.Maybe he should have never agreed to this.

_Oh, padawan mine… _Obi-Wan wrapped himself around Anakin, holding him close. Anakin even imagined he felt a kiss on his forehead. _I'll be back soon. The Light Force told me earlier today that I'm going to be leaving here inside six months. It could be much sooner. _His embrace tightened, and this time Anakin was sure he felt the brush of lips on his forehead. _I wish I could give more comfort than that. Know this: my thoughts are always with you, and the minute I am able, I will be on my way back to Temple. You're going to be the first person I speak to, the first one I hold._

Anakin thought to ask what Obi-Wan would do if Qui-Gon was also there waiting, but he was afraid of the answer, and he thought it was selfish to put pressure on his master, so he tried to be comforted. _I miss you, Obi. But I'll be all right. _He swallowed. _I haven't been the best student, but I promise I'll get better. Master Reeft said he's going to help me. My… my anger is getting better. I'm getting better at letting it go. But my… my belief in the Force isn't really strong. _He laughed weakly and a few more tears escaped. _But this must be the Force, because there's no other we could be talking. It's not the Force's existence I question, just its ability to be everywhere and know everything._

_That you'll learn the more times It saves you from disaster. I'm not worried about you learning that, padawan mine. _Another kiss. _I miss you, too. Do your lessons, if only for this reason: they'll keep you busy and keep you from thinking about me. In short, they'll make time go faster._

Anakin sensed Obi-Wan's smile, and he held onto his master. _Obi?_

_Yes, young one?_

_Not so young. I'm sixteen._

_Yes, that's true. I haven't forgotten. Unfortunately, the only gifts I have for you just now are rocks or mud. But you're still young, if only for this reason: Yoda calls _me _'young Master Kenobi' all the time, and you're younger than I am._

_I love you. I want you back here _right now_-_ he stopped, got a hold on his emotions, did his best to release them, mostly succeeding-_ but I'll manage. _He sensed another ripple in the Force, this one pushing at their bond. _What's wrong?_

_It's not you, Anakin. I'm exhausted. I haven't gotten more than twelve hours' sleep in the last ten days or so._

_Why? Are you all right? _The ripple again. _Obi, don't go!_

_The Force asked me to meditate on a particular problem of mine._

_I think you're perfect. Tell the Force to let you get some sleep!_

Obi-Wan chuckled. _I've made some progress, and now the Force is telling me I'm supposed to sleep. _A pause, and Anakin sensed how truly done-in Obi-Wan was. _Contact me any time. But do it this way. I think there's something trying to find me. I've felt it pass through the Force more than once._

Anakin decided not to tell him about the danger at the Temple, or that it had been hunting for Anakin personally. _I love you, Obi. Sleep. _He didn't want to let his master go, and he suffered a stab of sadness, which he wasn't able to conceal.

_I'm always with you, Anakin. My thoughts are with you, and I ask the Force to look after you always. I'm sending you a guardian when I can't be there in the flesh. The Force will guard you in my stead until I return. _The last ripple, and Obi-Wan's voice started to fade. _May the Force be with you, padawan mine. Contact me any time. I'll be here._

_Be safe, Master._

_You, too. Do your studies, exercise, and listen to Reeft. Something tells me he's a good master. And be mindful of the Force. If something is looking for me, it might come to Temple. Be on your guard. Reach out always._ He was gone.

Anakin felt the connection collapse in on itself, and he was back in Reeft's quarters. At first, he couldn't move, but then he became aware that Reeft had pressed a bit of cloth into his hand, and this he used to wipe his tears. His hands were shaking and he forced them to stop. When he thought he'd ridded himself of most of the signs of his sorrow, he lowered the cloth and met Reeft's eyes. He was expecting to see sympathy, and he wasn't sure he could handle that just now. But all he saw was concern.

"The Dark Force is hunting Obi-Wan?" Reeft rose to his feet. "We should tell Yoda." He glanced out the window, murmured, "Not long until dawn," then turned back to Anakin. "Do you want to meditate first before we go?"

Anakin considered that. He didn't want to meditate, but he did want to be alone. "Can I be by myself for a few minutes?"

Reeft nodded, started for the small hallway. "I'm going to take the time to calm myself." He smiled. "Even as a master, I forget that." Shaking his head, he disappeared into his room.

Anakin closed his eyes, bowed his head, and took the holo in his hands. _Obi._ That was the only thought he could manage. His tears started and he allowed them to fall, streaming down his cheeks.

oOo

"She's amazing, isn't she?" Darth Calus watched the youngling twirl and spin a Force-toy. He'd received the recording only an hour ago, and his eyes were drawn again and again to the child he saw. She reminded him of someone, but he couldn't quite place the resemblance. All that red hair, bound up in a braid… her hair would be cut soon; all yioungling girls had their hair cut when they turned nine. But for now, her hair glowed like a sunset.

_Or like flames. _Calus nodded to himself. _Yes. Much better. Especially considering what she is meant to achieve. _He laughed at his master's trick and wondered when the truth would be revealed to the Jedi. He knew little, but this much was clear: she was the child of a powerful Jedi, and when it was revealed who her othe parent really was… The Sith apprentice laughed. It didn't really matter to him who the girl's Jedi parent was, as long as it was someone close to Yoda, close to the heart of things, a person who would be shaken by the truth.

For a moment, he wished the parent was Qui-Gon- that old wound still stung and gave fuel to his rage- but then let it go. Of course she wasn't Qui-Gon's. Qui-Gon could have never been raped, could he? No. She wasn't Qui-Gon's.

Watching her graceful movements again, he was reminded of something long buried… a feeling, warmth, lust, but more than that… And pain, pain as the feeling was taken away, ripped form him and buried 'for later,' his master said. 'When you're ready,' his master said. 'Right now, the pain is too new.'

But what was the Dark Force, if not power over pain, the power to take that pain and turn it into fury? So being asked to let pain go- not all pain, but this very specific one- that didn't make sense. He'd accepted it at the time; he'd needed to accept it. Without acceptance, he would have been open to all the horrors and unfulfilled dreams of his Jedi life.

Yet now that he was strong in the Dark Force, not that it coursed through him like his own blood, shouldn't he be allowed to know this pain that remained hidden from him? And if he wasn't allowed to know, why wasn't he allowed? What more did he need to do to earn the right to have his own memories back?

Calus sneered. _Yes, Master, when do I earn a right that should be mine already, something you should have never taken away from me? If I came and asked you, would you hold it just out of my reach? Even if you didn't, surely you would make me ask a hundred times, and then do something for you. I've done enough, but you don't know that. You don't know everything I've done in the name of the Dark, in your name, oh exalted, cowardly master._

His master hid among the Jedi, right on their homeworld. Brave, some might call that, but Calus- _Xanatos_- knew it for what it was: the Jedi would look most carefully furthest from their home. Close in, they barely observed anything. Hadn't he been one of them long enough to know that much? So Sidious's living right next door was nothing miraculous or deserving of high honor, like Dooku thought it. True, neither he or Dooku knew exactly where Lord Sidious was hiding on Coruscant, but they knew it was in the same hemisphere and parallel as the Jedi Temple, and that counted as right under Yoda's nose, where the querulous old fool would never think to look.

He had a desire, as he hadn't had in years, to confront Sidious and kill him. Then he could be master. True, he wouldn't have Sidious to lift the block on his memory, but surely if he became powerful enough to kill the Sith Lord, he would be powerful enough to find out what had been denied him.

_I could, _he thought. _Very soon now, I could. All I need do is wait until he is off-guard, then destroy him. _But as always happened when this thought came to him, he dimissed it, partly because he was afraid of Sidious- deep down- but mostly because he wanted that memory back. He wanted to know who Annie Jenn reminded him of, and he wanted to know what that person had been to him. Not Qui-Gon, obviously- he remembered his ex-master too well. But someone closely associated with Qui-Gon… He reached, reached, feeling it dance just a little too far away. Then it was gone, and he cursed.

_Damn you, _he thought at Sidious, not letting his shields down even an inch. _Someday, I'll make you give me that memory, and when I have it, nothing will stop me from killing you._

He turned his eyes back to the girl, wondering how the Council member had managed to take the recording of her, and what the perverted Jedi Master had thought when he was doing it. _Did he think that I'm like him, except my taste runs to small girls instead of young men?_

There it was again; the connection to his lost memory. _Adee Larn tried to rape someone I know. But who was it? Who? And what does he matter to me?_

Adee wasn't done making advances. He had been sent on a special mission from Sidious, a mission to kill the master of the Chosen One, or to turn that man to the Dark Side, if possible. Xanatos didn't care which, except that the man might try to take his place, just as Adee might. But that was all right; he wasn't going to give up his place to anyone. They could just become his dogs. He didn't miss ber'Nac, but he missed lording it over someone, and Adee would be good for that. _Maybe I'll get to torment the one Adee is bringing. I hope he's known to Qui-Gon, a good friend of Qui-Gon's, one that, if I tortured him, it would hurt Qui-Gon to see. _Thinking of that, distracted from the little girl for a moment, Xanatos turned form the screen, clicking it off. He would forward the picture to his master soon enough, but for now, he was just glad his hatred of Qui-Gon was still going strong. It was one thing he would always be able to count on.

oOo

Yoda didn't want Anakin and Reeft to contact Obi-Wan again, though he was glad to hear what Anakin had accomplished. (Reeft downplayed his own part in Anakin's success, but Anakin guessed Yoda knew all about it.)

At first, hearing this, Anakin couldn't help but argue. He tried to be respectful. "Master Yoda, I miss my master. What's the harm in my talking to him through the Force?"

"No harm there would be if seeking you and your master the Dark Force was not. But lurking near here it is, and passed over him it has." Yoda frowned. "Learned the identity of the Dark Force user we have not."

"Is that because the Dark Force is gaining strength?"

Yoda grunted. "Observant you are, young padawan. True that is. Pushing I back we are, but strong it still is." His frown deepened. "Some time alone I need. As soon as safer it is, let you talk to Obi-Wan I will. Until then, refrain from reaching over long distances you should."

"Yes, Master," Anakin said, and after he and Reeft had bowed, they left the room. They walked back towards Reeft's quarters in silence.

But once inside, Reeft turned to Anakin. "I'm sure it's safer for everyone this way, but I want to talk to Obi-Wan, too. It seems unfair that he has to stay away from the Temple and everyone who cares about him."

Anakin felt a sudden need to throw himself into Reeft's arms and have the master hold him. He resisted, reminding himself that he was too old for that sort of thing, and even if he wasn't, this man wasn't Obi-Wan and probably wasn't used to having people hug him. _I mean, come on. He had _Ferus_ for an apprentice. And much as I like Ferus, he can be kind of stiff. _Knowing that, he said, "He'll be home soon. Six months, he said. We can make it long that long, and so can he."

Reeft nodded. "True, young one. You live on hope, I think."

_Yeah, hope that'll never be fulfilled. _He resisted the urge to shudder. _Obi-Wan will come back, and I can hold out until then. But as far as my other dreams go… All Siths will turn to the Light Side before that happens._

"Do you want to sleep here, or back in your quarters?"

Anakin blinked. He hadn't though Reeft really meant it, that he might get to be alone in his quarters. "But what about the Dark Force user?"

Reeft sighed. "Well, I guess I could sleep on the couch in Obi-Wan's quarters for a few nights if you want to sleep in your room."

"You'd do that just because I miss him?"

"You love him, remember? _And _you miss him. _And _you won't get to talk to him for a while. Way I see it, my sleeping on his couch as long as you need isn't that much of a hardship."

Anakin wanted to be grateful, but, on the other hand, if Reeft slept in the same quarters with him, there was no way the padawan would be able to sneak into Obi-Wan's room and sleep there. He had a feeling there was only so far that Reeft's acceptance would carry. _And remember what he said; he doesn't think most Jedi should be allowed to love. And my love can't be good, at least not in his eyes, because Obi-Wan won't return it. Definitely not acceptable love._

So, if he couldn't sleep in Obi-Wan's bed, what was the use of sleeping in his master's quarters? No use at all. "It's all right. I'll sleep here. I'll just have to get my things." Just then, though, with the thought of being without Obi-Wan for more than a day chewing at him, he knew he needed to be alone. "I'll just sleep first. I'm really tired."

"Reaching out to the Force all night will do that." Reeft gestured to the couch. "The bed in the other bedroom isn't made up, but you can take the couch. I'll bring you some blankets."

Anakin nodded. "Thank you." It wasn't the privacy he wanted, but he told himself he would have to make do. Obi-Wan would have expected him to let go of his own need for comfort and accept what must be.

He waited until Reeft had returned with the blankets and then disappeared into his room. He was exposed here, without even the privilege of locking a door between himself and any prying eyes. Anakin knew he shouldn't cry, and that he shouldn't try to reach out to Obi-Wan, either, but a terrible thought had occurred to him as he sat on the couch. What if Obi-Wan didn't understand why his padawan didn't contact him again? He couldn't let Obi-Wan worry.

He left the quarters he shared with Reeft. The hallways were brightly lit; it was morning for everyone else, after all. And knowing that it was morning, Anakin was afraid that he'd be caught out alone by some well-meaning but rule-focused master. For this reason, he didn't duck into Obi-Wan's quarters, but made his way to the room where he and Yoda had contacted Obi-Wan that first time. He went quickly without seeming to hurry, and used his sense of the Force to make sure that he traveled deserted hallways.

He reached the room safely and locked the door behind him. No Jedi locked their doors, but the doors did have locks in case of attack. Anakin thought, _I locked the door. That means what I'm doing I don't want anyone else to know about. I'm being deceitful. _Not a quality any Jedi should have, and it was only slight comfort to Anakin that he was doing wrong in order to warn his master. He almost turned around and left the room. _No. I've gotten this far. And if I don't say anything to him, I'm going to worry myself sick. Forget connecting to the Force or meditating on anything or even getting my grades up; I won't be able to concentrate. _Yes, and though he knew these were all excuses, Anakin accepted them. But first, he unlocked the door. _Let someone come in and find me. I'd rather get in trouble for what I'm really doing than because I was trying to hide my actions from others. _It was much better to get into trouble for trying to do something the wrong way than for keeping secrets. Anakin remembered the stories Obi-Wan had told him, about when his master was younger and got into trouble for trying to do the right thing but not going about it in the right way. _'Compassion is always respected, even if the method isn't quite right. Dishonesty never is.'_

Anakin knelt before the communications center, speaking the code. His heart was pounding, and he struggled to calm himself, not wanting Obi-Wan to sense his unease or guilt. His senses were on high alert. He wasn't sure if he would shut off the connection if he heard someone coming- he wanted to think he had more courage than that, courage enough to take his punishment- but at the same time, he was aware that the Temple's security had been increased for good reason, and that he was now just as much a target of the Dark Force as Obi-Wan.

The communicator buzzed to life, and Anakin almost jumped. His heartbeat doubled for a moment, then began to slow. "Yes?" The voice was tinny; Anakin could hear how poor the connection was. He figured it wasn't on his end, and wondered what had happened to make the signal from Degoba weak.

"Master Obi-Wan."

"Anakin?" A yawn. "You couldn't wait until I'd caught a little sleep?"

Anakin blushed. He'd forgotten, actually. He admitted as much, then said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. It's just that…" He stopped. Did he want to explain what Yoda had said right away? This might be his last chance to talk with Obi-Wan for a while. "Has the Force come back to you yet?"

"In some ways."

Anakin could hear the frown in his master's voice, and wondered if Obi-Wan was suspicious. His master had ever known when he was hiding something. He tried a distraction. "I'm glad. I forgot to ask you that earlier, and-"

"And has the Force spoken with you, padawan mine? I'd guess you feel a little agitated, or is that just the static on my end?" A pause, and Anakin couldn't think of anything to say. Obi-Wan was trying to tease an honest answer out of him. "Care to talk about it?" his master asked. "I know we've both been separated for far too long, but I flatter myself to still think that you remember how I think, and that I'll remember how you are."

Anakin swallowed. "I've grown, Master, and changed."

"I'm glad to hear that." Obi-Wan managed to sound both amused and serious. "We have to grow every day, or what is life about? But most tendencies don't change. I've always been slightly reserved around those I don't know, and that hasn't changed." He chuckled. "Maybe I've become more aware of a shortcoming or two, but they were still always there."

"You're perfect."

"Hmmmm…. No. No, I'm not. If I was, the Force would have taken me long ago, because I wouldn't need the chance to grow. Do you want to hear the shortcoming I found? I hate to say it, but you share it, too. So does Qui-Gon. Like attracts like, and as different as Qui-Gon and I seem, we share one major character flaw."

"I do too?"

"Yes, Padawan."

"What is it?" He knew that Qui-Gon could often get angry, and he of course suffered from that himself, but Obi-Wan didn't suffer so. He couldn't think what else they had in common. Where he and Qui-Gon were emotion-driven much of the time, Obi-Wan was driven by logic.

"Arrogance. Each of us is sure that his way is the only way. I've lived through many mistakes that were my fault because I was sure everything had to come out just as I wished it." He paused, yawned. "We'll discuss our mutual failings in a moment. First, what's wrong?"

Yes, Obi-Wan hadn't changed much, but Anakin knew he'd changed. He hadn't been in love when Obi-Wan left, and that made all the difference. Sometimes he was hardly able to focus for the love that drove him. Knowing all this to be true, he decided now wasn't the best time to admit his feelings. That could wait until Obi-Wan returned from Degoba. "Master Yoda thinks we shouldn't talk, either this way or through the Force. There was… an attack… here at Temple. A Dark Force user was looking for me specifically. And since the Dark Force is still hunting you, he thought it best if we didn't alk often. I agree sort of, but I wanted you to know, so you wouldn't wonder why I didn't contact you." He waited, afraid Obi-Wan would blame him for stalling and withholding such news. He would rather almost anything than have Obi-Wan angry at him.

"Ah. That makes sense, much as I want to continue talking to you." Obi-Wan sighed. "I guess we'll have to go back to the silence we had before. I'm sorry, Anakin. This makes me only want to return that much sooner. I'll do my best to speed things up on this end." A soft snort. "Though of course the Force doesn't appreciate being pushed to work faster. And how are you, Anakin? How are you really? I'd guess this attack happened before you and I spoke two hours ago."

Anakin flushed. "Yes, Master. It happened two weeks ago, before Master Reeft and I went on a mission. I didn't mention it because I thought you had enough to worry about."

"You are still my concern, Anakin. I will always try to do all I can to protect you. This sabbatical notwithstanding, you are always in my heart and in my thoughts and I would rather be at your side than anywhere else."

Behind the restrained words, Anakin sensed how much he'd hurt Obi-Wan. But before he could try to apologize, the older man went on:

"I'm perfectly aware, young one, that you want to protect me. And I am grateful for that. But…" He sighed. "Let me start again. My frustration at being separated from you, and still being without the Force for the most part, is getting the better of me." A pause, and when Obi-Wan spoke again, his voice was calmer. "Forgive me. Perhaps it's my arrogance acting out again. I want to be home, and that can't happen soon enough. But if I want to get home, I need to devote everything to the Force." He coughed. "And I am showing my arrogance again, as well as my anxiety and worry about you. To that end, how are you? Honestly?"

At first, Anakin had been tempted to anger by the tense tone his master gave him, but when Obi-Wan explained himself, all was forgiven and forgotten. "I want you home," he said, but that wasn't enough. He wondered if he should confess his love, and still wasn't sure if it would be best to do that over the link. "I hate it that you're not here. I don't hate you, and even if I don't like that the Force is keeping you away, I can make peace with it for now. But I need you here." Again, tears were pressing, and Anakin didn't bother to keep them from his voice. He was rapidly getting sick of playing the strong Jedi. "Obi, I-" _love you. I love you. I need you to understand what I mean when I say it. _"Just please come home as soon as you can." That wasn't enough, and he added, wishing Obi-Wan could just read his mind, "Because if you don't, I'm going to have to come find you. I can't stand being without you. I know it's not Jedi-like, and that I should be relying on the Force, but, like I said, I'm not depending on the Force like I should be. I need you to show me the way." He sniffed. "Don't give up on me. Please."

"Who said anything about giving up on you?"

Anakin wiped at his tears. "No one. But I know what I'm lacking. I know I'm not the perfect Jedi, or even headed the right way to become one."

"We all find our own path to the serenity that is living within the Force and I wouldn't want you to come to that peace the way I did, the way any other padawan is, or even the way Yoda did. You must find your own path. Stop judging yourself against others and judge yourself against yourself, because that's the only true measure of accomplishment." He laughed. "And if you can't take that from me, who came to the Jedi by quite a roundabout way, who can you believe?" He was quiet for a moment, then said, "We shouldn't make this too much longer. So let me ask you: until the Force shows you how to gain trust and belief, how will you improve other areas of your life?"

In spite of his secret still being a secret, Anakin found himself smiling, and yet longing even more desperately for Obi-Wan to be home. In the back of his mind, he knew that if he ever truly lost Obi-Wan, he would probably lose himself. "I'll study more. I'll keep releasing my anger."

"Add to that releasing your worry for me, and the fact that you miss me. The Force will take those things, as well. You'll have to spend a lot of time letting go of those, but it will start to work after a while. Do you remember when I told you the same thing about anger and frustration?"

Anakin nodded, forgetting for a moment that Obi-Wan couldn't see him. "Yes," he said at last. And then, needing to tease his master, he said, "Do as you teach, Master. Are you trying to release your worry for me and the fact that you miss me?"

Obi-Wan's chuckle was everything he'd hoped for. "Yes. I'm not saying it's all gone- Force knows it isn't- but I've stopped-" He coughed. "Never mind. You don't need-"

"If I have to tell you everything, will you tell me? We're partners, remember?" rying to keep his tone light.

"Very well. When I first arrived here and I was feeling so lost and afraid without the Force, I had nightmares about losing you or never seeing you again."

Anakin blinked. True, Obi-Wan used to admitted such things quickly, but Anakin had thought maybe that was one thing about his master that would change. He was glad to see that Obi-Wan was just as open as ever. "I had nightmares about you getting hurt," he whispered. "I still do."

"Then if you expect to get a string of good-nights'-sleep, I suggest you give your worry and the rest over to the Force, just like your anger. It will help. I promise it will. And now, Padawan mine, I should let you go. Much as I'd like to talk for the rest of my time here, we'd better start obeying Master Yoda. He's right; this isn't quite safe. For either of us. Wait."

Anakin bit his lip. When he was younger and Obi-Wan caught him sneaking out of their quarters in the middle of the night, he'd sounded just this way. "Yes, Master?"

"Who are you with? Or are you making this call without anyone knowing?"

"Uh… the second one."

To his surprise, all Obi-Wan said was, "Let's terminate this then, and you get back to your quarters. I want to know you're safe. And if Reeft wakes up to find you gone, you're going to be in some pretty deep trouble."

"Master Reeft doesn't strike me as a master that would yell a lot."

"Oh, he won't. But Master Yaddle taught him the best ways to punish a padawan." Obi-Wan laughed outright. "I'd get going if I were you. Keep your eyes open, and I'll do the same. Take care. Remember: the minute I can get off this forsaken rock, I'll be headed home."

"I love you, Obi." Just then, it was more important that he spoke the words than Obi-Wan know what they really meant.

"I love you, too. May the Force be with you. And may you grow to feel it."

"Be careful."

"Always. You too."

"May the Force be with you."

"Be at peace, Anakin. I'll be home soon. Good-bye."

"Good-bye." Anakin sensed Obi-Wan was waiting for him to break the connection this time, asking, silently, for Anakin to take an adult step. He swallowed. "Bye, Obi." He closed the transmission. With that done, he became aware of the sunlight pouring through the nearby window and hoped only that he hadn't been gone too long. Hopefully, Reeft was a heavy sleeper. Doubtful, that; most Jedi, because of their connection to the Force, woke with any disturbance. Still, there was hope. Casting one las glance at the communications center as if he could see Obi-Wan settling in for a well-deserved day of sleep, he headed out.

The door opened, and he ran into the tall Jedi standing just outside, too obviously waiting for him. Anakin jumped back, resisting the urge to duck back inside and lock the door. Instead, he squared his shoulders and gazed up at Master Adee. He longed for his growth spurt at times like this, just like he longed for his voice to finally change. All the other sixteen-year old boys he knew had been given deep, resonant voices. Why did he have to be the one to change late?

"Where's your master, Padawan?"

"In our quarters, Master."

"And why aren't you there? Don't you know there's an alert in effect? It's not safe for any Jedi to go roaming around alone, but especially not you, Chosen One." He turned away from Anakin, gesturing. "Follow me. I'll get you back safely."

Relieved, and surprised that he hadn't been treated to a lecture, Anakin fell into step slightly behind Adee.

"Walk next to me. I'm not done with you, and I'd like to see your face."

The padawan hesitated, then did as he was told. More than once, Obi-Wan had told him to listen to his instincts even when he was still developing his connection to the Force. Just now, his instincts were telling him to keep his distance from Adee Larn. But he wasn't sure why, and that made him feel even more uneasy.

"You weren't by any chance hiding from your master, were you?"

Anakin shook his head.

"So what were you doing?"

He didn't want to admit that he'd been talking to Obi-Wan, and only part of that was a desire for self-preservation. He didn't want to say Obi-Wan's name in front of Adee. His instincts told him of a hunger that lived within the master beside him, and though Anakin told himself he was being foolish, the feeling refused to go away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Huh. So I might assume you were dreaming about your pretty master- your missing master- and enjoying the pleasures of your hand?"

Anakin's jaw dropped, and he stopped walking. His hand had fallen to the handle of his lightsaber, and when Adee turned to face him, he took a step back.

"Struck a nerve, did I? I meant nothing by it, Padawan. You must acknowledge that Obi-Wan is attractive. If he wasn't, I don't care how much the Dark Force prodded: no one would want to bed him. And if you notice such things as the curve of his cheek and the light in his eyes, you can't be penalized. Obi-Wan _is _attractive, and you're only human. A little human boy who can't help what he feels." He chuckled when Anakin took another step back. "Take it from me, though; when you imagine lying with him, pretend you're on top. Something tells me Obi-Wan couldn't take anyone."

The lightsaber came to life in Anakin's hand. "Shut up about Obi-Wan."

Adee's tail twitched. "Are you going to attack a member of the Jedi Council, Padawan? Obi-Wan would be so disappointed…"

Anakin took a step. "I mean it. Don't even say his name. You aren't good enough to say his name." His anger was high, but he was in tune with his emotions enough to know that he was also afraid. Not for himself, but for Obi-Wan. Something in Adee's eyes was too knowing. Anakin knew Obi-Wan hadn't been raped by the Master- Yoda would have sensed it, surely- but that didn't mean Adee hadn't been watching Obi-Wan. And just now, Anakin couldn't even stand the thought of that. He knew he would at once report it to Yoda, and take the consequences of being out of his quarters without permission.

With that thought, he lowered his blade, though he didn't switch it off yet. Adee was a threat, even if he was a master. Obi-Wan's stories about being touched by other Jedi had rubbed off on his padawan, and Anakin was hesitant to trust anyone, Jedi or no.

Adee's smile was unpleasant. "Don't indulge so much in the Dark Side, Anakin. It's not Jedi-like." He turned and started away, calling over his shoulder, "And if you tell any of this to Yoda, you won't be believed. He will simply search my mind and find me the serene Jedi I have always been."

In his mind, Anakin leapt forward, reaching for Adee's thoughts, wanting to catch the master thinking something that tell Anakin why Adee was able to hide himself from even Yoda. Instead, he hit a blank space, and retreated.

Adee continued on his way, but Anakin stood stock still, his eyes wide. He'd felt _nothing _when he tried to touch Adee's mind, which indicated not that Adee had no mind, but that, as far as the Force was concerned, he wasn't there at all, not in thoughts, not physically. Everything around where Adee should have been circled around the empty place, like the Light Force swirled about all objects, but Adee simply wasn't there as far as the Force was concerned.

Shocked and afraid, Anakin retreated to his quarters, making sure to lock the door behind him. He stood, facing the door, while he tried to compose himself. It wouldn't do for Reeft to feel how uneasy he was. Surely his nervousness would wake the master if he didn't get it under control.

"And where exactly have you been?"


	27. Xanatos's Discovery and Dark Force Plans

**Author's Note:** I've decided to do two chapters this way, saving room on that chapter list. Plus, why post twice if I finish two chapters within a day or three of each other? I hope you like it this way. The chapters in this section are highlighted on the shortened Table of Contents below.

**Warning:** character death? maybe ;)

Enjoy!

Estel Baggins

**Table of Contents**

The Light Force Speaks AgainPg. 370

The Lonely Years (1)Pg. 398

The Lonely Years (2)Pg. 421

The Lonely Years (3)Pg. 445

**Xanatos's DiscoveryPg. 466**

**The Dark Force Lays PlansPg. 485**

Xanatos's Discovery

Anakin jumped at the sound of Reeft's voice. He didn't dare turn around just yet.

"Well?" Reeft's voice sounded like a hammer hitting tempered steel. "Where were you? It's not safe for you to be out and about by yourself, and yet you've done just that. Some sort of respect you have for all the sacrifices made so that you could grow up here and become what you are meant to be." A deep sigh, and then, muttered, scarcely loud enough for Anakin to hear, "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I don't mean to yell at your padawan." And, louder once again, "Please come sit down, Anakin. I'd like to talk to you."

Anakin knew he was about to get chewed out, and he wondered if he was about to learn the truth of his master's words about Reeft. If Reeft wasn't going to yell at him, what exactly was he going to do? Resisting the urge to slink over to the couch, Anakin walked to it and sat beside Reeft, making sure that he didn't drop his eyes. He knew he was in trouble; no need to try and delay that with cowardice. He'd earned this, and despite meeting Adee in the hallway afterwards, he'd accomplished what he'd wanted to.

"Mind telling me why you snuck out?" Reeft's expression was unreadable, but there was a genuine note of curiosity in his voice. "Something tells me you wouldn't just put yourself in danger, unless you thought you had no choice. So what was it you absolutely had to do alone?"

"I contacted Master Obi-Wan. I wanted him to know why I wouldn't be talking to him for a while. I didn't want him to worry."

Reeft didn't answer for a moment, but a frown had creased his features. When he did at last speak, his voice was understanding, with an underlying edge of reproof. "While you were gone, there was a disturbance in the Force. A hole appeared near where you were, a place where the Force couldn't touch." He grunted, and Anakin saw the sweat beading on his forehead. "The Force is supposed to be everywhere, and I couldn't stand the thought that you were near to that empty place. I contacted Yoda, and he told me to stay here. Yoda was watching over you. He'd felt you leave these quarters, and he knew what you were up to."

Anakin opened his mouth to ask why Reeft had questioned him, but then he stopped. There could have only been one reason: Reeft hadn't trusted him to tell the truth.

"I was afraid the empty place had touched you, taken your memory. Can you remember everything you said to Obi-Wan and everything he said to you?"

_Force, when am I going to stop misjudging him?_ Guilt assailed Anakin, but before he could sink too deeply into that, Obi-Wan's remembered words touched his mind: _Make one choice. Make another. You can't unmake any past choice. _His master had taken that quote from Yoda and passed it on to his padawan as it had been passed to him by Qui-Gon.

"Yes, Master. I can remember. And I'm-" he stopped himself from lying and apologizing for something he didn't feel sorry for- "sorry I didn't ask you to come with me. I was ashamed of my need to protect him." He swallowed. "And I kept thinking I might get the courage to tell him how I feel, and I didn't want anyone else there if I actually managed to confess what he means to me."

"Did you?"

Anakin shook his head miserably.

"Maybe that's for the best. Did you feel the hole in the Force I felt?"

Anakin nodded. "It was-" Did he want to tell who had stopped him in the hall, and what the master had said to him? He wasn't sure he could say it without becoming angry all over again. "I think Master Adee felt it, too. He found me outside the communications center. He told me to come back here."

"He didn't walk you?"

Anakin bit his lip and was unable to look Reeft in the eyes. "I… did something I'm not proud of. I wanted to get away from him."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure." Would that be enough? Anakin knew he had no loyalty to Adee, and he was quick to tell himself he wasn't protecting the Jedi Master. He just didn't know what to tell Reeft. His feelings from earlier seemed silly, and he didn't want to have to confess that he'd gotten angry again.

Reeft was frowning at him. Then he stood. "We need to sleep. You take my room. I'll take the couch."

"I-I won't sneak out again."

"You'll have to earn that trust. As much as I understand your need to comfort Obi-Wan, and as much as I understand you wanting to tell him about your love for him, it wasn't a good decision. Go get some sleep."

Anakin slunk into Reeft's room, guilty and wishing he'd just taken Reeft with him. He understood he was starting back at square one with the master, and that was worse than where he'd been before, because last time Reeft had treated him like "Obi-Wan's Padawan," complete with all privileges and assumed responsibility that came with that title. Having fallen so far, Anakin realized how much freedom and trust Reeft had given him before just because he was Obi-Wan's padawan and Reeft couldn't imagine Anakin disgracing Obi-Wan's name.

He jumped off the bed and ran back into the common room. Reeft needed to know something. Anakin stopped before the master and bowed to him. "Obi-Wan wouldn't have approved of any of that. Don't judge him by my mistake."

Reeft had been lying on the couch with his eyes closed. Now he opened one eye, seemed to take Anakin's measure, then nodded. "You are taking responsibility for your own mistakes. I'm glad, and Obi-Wan would be proud. Thank you for your honesty. I will not judge him by your actions in this instance, or in any other where you take responsibility for yourself." He closed his eye, and Anakin started to retreat. "Anakin?"

The apprentice turned back. "Yes, Master Reeft?"

"When you make a wrong choice, that is usually reflected onto your master. But when you make a right decision, that reflects well on both you and him. Not fair, but it's good to know that you are seen for your own successes."

Anakin wondered if Reeft was still angry with him, but he wanted to ask a question, so he ventured, "Will people one day see my good actions and say, 'Obi-Wan trained that Knight. He must be a good teacher'?"

"If no one else does, I will. And I'm sure I won't be the only one to see your good choices and be glad that both you and Obi-Wan are Jedi." A small smile eased the serious line of his mouth. "Good night, Anakin. And don't be too frustrated: something tells me we'll be able to walk over this little bump and forget it soon enough."

oOo

"I can't stay here much longer." Adee glanced around, resisting the urge to pull his robe closer around him. The walls were crawling with blood-sucking b'ts, and he could think of about a thousand places he'd rather be. "That old fool is conducting a sweep, checking into the minds of every Jedi at Temple. The younglings even. _And_ the Council members."

Darth Calus smiled under his hood, but of course Adee couldn't see that. The holo-projection of him, he knew, wasn't all that clear, anyway. He'd made it that way and told Adee he didn't dare boost the signal because there was a crack-down on illegal communications. And the idiot Jedi had believed him because Calus's words coincided with an order from Yoda that all communications at Temple should be coded. Rather nice how those two things had come together. Of course, Lord Sidious wouldn't consider it a coincidence; nothing happened by chance, he was prone to say, and all you had to do was take what you knew of your enemies to know with certainty what they would do.

"What do you want me to do?" Adee burst out. "Mace will see what I'm feeling, or at least see the bond Zee and I have. Then he'll know. And I don't plan to die or go to prison."

He was trying to sound brave, and so Calus didn't laugh. But truly, the Repticonn sounded panicked. Good for Calus, bad for him. "For right now, you're not going to do anything. It's not time yet. One more piece has to be moved, then you'll be ready to find the Chosen One's master and kill him. But just now, he could very possibly be stronger than you. He has been on sabbatical for two years after all, and I'm willing to bet the Force has returned to him."

"Fucking Kenobi," Adee muttered. "How am I supposed to find him?"

_Kenobi. _The name sounded in his mind like a beautiful bell, and Calus was glad Adee couldn't read his expression. With that name, the dam holding his memory had burst, and he struggled to keep it all hidden. He couldn't concentrate on any of it just now. He needed to answer Adee. "Easy. I'm sure his padawan knows where he is. Just ask the boy. And if you want to hurt him while you're at it, be my guest. He'll either go insane afterwards or turn to the Dark Side. Neither state can hurt us. And make sure to do it your own way, that way for which you're famous." _Because you won't get a chance at Kenobi. I won't let you. _"When I tell you we're ready, get the information from the boy, then head off to kill his master. It won't be long now." He chuckled, making the sound natural. "We'll get you out of there before anyone can search that excuse you have for a mind." He closed the connection on his end before Adee could respond. Then, moving away from the pedestal and reinforcing his shields a thousand times over, he sat down in a comfortable chair in the lush apartments he'd been given, and closed his eyes.

_Kenobi… Obi-Wan…_

He would never claim to be anything but what he was: an opportunist. What a chance! To hurt Qui-Gon, maybe fill him with such rage that he would have to follow his former padawan into the nether regions, and to also have one thing he knew the Dark Side could never give him: a devoted young man that would submit to him, do anything he said, maybe even, if he played his cards right, come to see him as all-powerful, a protector instead of a destroyer.

He didn't need it, that devoted slave/lover. In all his true needs, the Dark Force served him well. But this one want, this one desire, something that would never distract him from his real goals… this one thing, precious, special, he couldn't be given. The Dark Force only destroyed; it would never allow him to build up a relationship, even if the foundations of that relationship were cemented in rape and fear.

Xanatos sneered. _Obi-Wan. Half the universe wants you, if only because the Dark Force says you're a threat. What does it matter if one more Dark Force disciple has his eye on you, wants you in his bed? Doesn't matter to you; I'm sure you've gotten used to all the groping hands and grinning, slobbering mouths. You wouldn't care if there was just one more watching for you, and you wouldn't even bother to wonder if that one wanted you for reasons that are different from all the others. The Dark Force will give you into anyone else's hands but mine. If I want you, I'll have to work for it. ber'Nac got you easily enough. Even Adee will get you, if the Dark Force wills it, and he's little more than a worm._

_Not that I need you. Not that I'll abandon all the things I need just to have one want fulfilled. Life- even a clone's life- is too short for that._

He'd bought himself time by making a clone and dumping all his knowledge into it. All he couldn't 'remember' was the actual death of his first body. He scarcely thought of himself as a clone. Yes, he was a little younger than he would have been if that first body had lived, but that was all right; he liked being twenty instead of the thirty-nine or forty he would have been otherwise. The Dark Force kept you alive, but you just grew older and older, not able to fall apart as long as the Dark Force willed it, but not able to slow your aging to a crawl, as the Jedi could. And _they _didn't even have to work for it, didn't even have to meditate or center themselves in the Force to gain long life. The cursed Light Force just gave it to them, like a door prize.

His needs were clear: he must kill Qui-Gon. It didn't matter when, exactly, as long as it could happen in the worst possible way. And beyond Qui-Gon's death? Rule the galaxy, of course. Wasn't that what every Dark Force user wanted? To be able to lord it over all those who had challenged him?

Xanatos scowled, and now he knew why Sidious had blocked the memory of Obi-Wan and kept all mention of the young Jedi from him: ruling the galaxy wasn't enough. He wanted his lover/slave, and that one desire was changing quickly from whim to all-consuming desire. He'd been thinking about Obi-Wan too much; that was why Sidious had taken the memory. If he hadn't, Xanatos might have done something desperate, like stop trying to be a Sith Lord. He would always be part of the Dark, but Sidious didn't want to lose his apprentice, not when he'd just gained Xanatos after losing Maul. And, face it: there weren't many talented Dark Force users aside from Xanatos. Most could barely keep their focus long enough to attempt even one task for the Dark Lord.

Xanatos was a gift, a great tool, one Sidious didn't want to lose. So he might be justified in removing one memory from his apprentice's mind.

Except that one memory was everything. With it back, Xanatos couldn't imagine ruling the universe unless he had Obi-Wan in chains at his side. He tried to justify the need… but failed. In terms of power, in terms of raw sexuality, Obi-Wan had nothing. Everything about him was either a work in progress, or had to be looked for. What use was he, really? None. Not to Sidious, not to anyone else.

_Except I want him, and I don't care if it doesn't make sense or if he isn't useful. I need him with me. _And for now, that was as deep as his thoughts went. What use to go deeper? One perk of riding the wave of the Dark Force was that you didn't have to analyze your desires if you didn't feel like it. Some day, he might be moved to analyze his feelings for Obi-Wan (and yes, they were feelings _for _Obi-Wan, not about the _idea_ of Obi-Wan) but for now, all he knew was that the Jedi was on his radar once more, and he wouldn't let anyone touch his prize.

His mind tried to tell him that he was disgusted by the thought that so many had taken his Obi-Wan, but his heart knew differently. If Obi-Wan was sick of being raped, sick of being thrown into danger, knowing the outcome each time would be more humiliation, that could be the bridge Xanatos needed between where the Jedi was now and where he could be with a little persuasion.

But still, even if he could accept all those who had taken Obi-Wan after him (_I was the first, though; never forget that. I was the one who made sure he would never see virginity again_) he couldn't stand it that another would take Obi-Wan, maybe kill him. If the Force hadn't come back to Obi-Wan, even a worm like Adee could kill him. That couldn't happen. Couldn't and wouldn't.

Xanatos would see to it. And Sidious's orders be damned.

Just as he rose to his feet, a signal buzzed on a console. He went to it, and his eyes widened. "You'll have to wait just a little longer, Obi-Wan," he whispered, hands shaking as he tapped buttons to zero in on the signal he'd received. If he took care of this mission first, Obi-Wan would be even more likely to come to him.

At last, Qui-Gon Jinn had been found.

oOo

The Jedi Master wasn't afraid of death, but were any of them? Not if they'd spent time centering themselves within the Force and coming to understand it. He didn't know his whole purpose as the Light Force decreed it, but he didn't need to know more than he'd been given: Obi-Wan is your concern. Protect him as he must be protected. Obi-Wan must live; for balance to be brought to the Force, Obi-Wan must live.

It was a message he readily accepted, so glad that it was what he wanted for his lover and relieved that he would be allowed to protect his Obi. And even the Force's cautioning words couldn't dampen his spirits: you may have to die, Qui-Gon Jinn, to ensure that Obi-Wan lives.

So, no, he wasn't afraid of death. As long as he could protect Obi-Wan, what did it matter if he died? Obi-Wan himself had said that if his lover died in the Force, he would go on. That, surely, was the meaning of their love: to know that, no matter what, they would live and die in the Force, and because of that, all would be well.

He'd grown, too, and not just because the Force announced that keeping Obi-Wan alive was a priority. Before it would give him that information, it had to teach him to let go of his lover, and the anger that would come if Obi-Wan died or was injured. That had taken three years by itself, the Force working to teach him about releasing his anger, yes, but preventing it from building up in the first place. _That_ was the trick he'd never quite learned at Temple. Now, armed with his new knowledge, he was ready to take on the universe, or fill any lesser role the Force gave him.

The master was kneeling in the middle of a field, helping to plant seeds and pull weeds. He was working in the Agricorps, a place he might have been happy in if he hadn't been chosen to be Dooku's padawan. Sometimes- when Xanatos turned to the Dark, that first time Obi-Wan was raped- he'd wondered if he'd been meant for a calmer, better way of life. He certainly loved all growing things, and the fields where he'd ended up were more than comforting. He'd only started traveling with the Agricorps a few weeks before, having spent the three years before alone and seeking only the Force's calming, healing ways. Soon, he thought, he could go home. He wondered often if Obi-Wan had arrived home before him and was waiting. But then he would leave that thought, not wanting to be distracted, or begin to worry, and say to himself, _If the Force wills it, it will be._

Most Jedi wouldn't have recognized him if they heard of his deeds only, or of the new serenity he'd found. He still retained his own mind; the Force made zombies of no one. So he still thought some rules were meant to be broken, but that was all right, too, because now he was assured that when he broke rules, it would be completely in response to the Light Force, and not because he _had _to fix something immediately, consequences be damned.

He was still arrogant; that couldn't quite be gotten rid of.

Around him, people were starting to head in for the day. They called to him, using the name he'd given them (here he was called Barlen Gren) but he told them he would stay out a few more minutes, use the last of the sunlight. They let him, knowing he would come in when he was good and ready. They were getting used to this Force-sensitive man doing as he pleased, but always being ready to lend a hand. He'd heard the rumors, of course. They believed he was a retired Jedi, or even a Jedi masquerading as a simple farmer. Whatever he was, they were all in agreement about one thing: he'd left to escape something hard, coming here to find his peace of mind before returning to wherever he was truly needed. Qui-Gon let the rumors persist; though near the mark, they had no facts to hold them up, and thus they were harmless. He was seen as the same.

He'd opted to stay out for a while because a ripple had come to him through the Force. It wasn't an unpleasant thing, and so he reached out to it, longing to hear what it was. He continually marveled that he was able to hear small ripples in the Unifying Force, something he hadn't quite mastered under Obi-Wan's tutelage. Not that he blamed his lover; he himself wasn't a good student of things when he was worried, and he knew as much. Calmer now, focused, he'd learned the lessons Obi-Wan had so patiently tried to teach him.

It came again, and Qui-Gon laid aside his tools and settled himself to listen. He closed his eyes and reached out.

_Qui-Gon?_

The lover's heart almost stopped. _Obi mine! Obi mine! Force, what is this? Are you here?_

_No, love. I'm still where Yoda sent me. _A soft chuckle. _I just thought I'd pass along the gift Reeft reminded me all Jedi have within themselves. How are you?_

_So has the Force returned to you?_

_It never left._

_Yes, of course, but I mean… _He shook his head. _Never mind. How are you?_

_I asked you first, but since you're too old to remember such things-_

_Obi mine…_

_Qui-Gon… _Obi-Wan's mirth carried easily down the link. _I'm well. I've learned much here, and I'll be returning home soon. Within six months, the Force tells me. And you? How are you, Beloved?_

_Obi mine…_ He had to repeat his lover's name. He was in shock, hearing Obi-Wan when they were surely hundreds of parsecs from each other. _I'm fine. It's been a good three years for me, too. _So trivial, his words, but he wanted to hear his lover's voice again. He transmitted that need, not bothering to ask a question.

_You just want to hear me talk? _A full laugh now. _Some day, you're going to regret that._

_Only if you talk while we're trying to enjoy… other pursuits. You know how that distracts me._

_Yes, I remember. What would you have me say? It's cold here, and it rains most of the time. The wildlife likes to sneak up on me, but I'm better at sensing them now. Without the Force. I've learned to rely more on my intuition and common sense since I've arrived. What an amazing ability. A Force-collar will never cripple me again._

A pause, and Qui-Gon felt a shadow pass somewhere between them, closer to Obi-Wan, if such things could exist within the distanceless Force. _What was that?_

_I'm being tracked. The Dark Force has passed over here half a dozen times._

_So why are you talking to me? You shouldn't be exposing yourself to it, Obi mine. We should end this now._

_I had to talk to you, and that was worth the risk. _Obi-Wan sighed. _I know; you're right. But I just had to do this._

_Have you talked to Anakin this way?_

_Indeed. _Obi-Wan fell silent, and Qui-Gon sensed the shadow again. _I'll go now. And I probably won't contact you again. It's dangerous, much as I would like to ignore that. May the Force-_

_Don't think for a minute that I said that because I didn't want to hear your voice, Beloved. If there were only two things I could hear in the universe, the Force and your voice would be my choices. I only want you to be careful. Change is coming, and the Force reassures me that it's my task to protect you. Not because you can't protect yourself, but because you're important to the Force._

_You're going to give me a swelled head, love. _But Obi-Wan didn't sound angry or disappointed. _Take care of yourself, my Qui-Gon. We'll meet soon, Force willing, and all will be well until then._

_Is that what the Force told you?_

_No, only my belief, but it will still come to pass. You'll see. I love you, Qui-Gon._

_I love you, my Obi mine._

_Isn't that redundant?_

_Yes, and who cares? I love you, my Obi mine, my love, my beautiful Obi-Wan. Be well, and may the Force be with you._ Qui-Gon could feel himself wanting to cry, and he let two tears escape. Better that than try to stifle what he felt.

He sensed that Obi-Wan, too, was crying. _And with you, love, _the younger man sent. _Have faith. We'll see each other soon. I just know it._

_I believe. Goodbye, Beautiful._

_Goodbye, my Knight._

Qui-Gon smiled at that, and then the connection was severed at Obi-Wan's end. The older man hoped Obi-Wan had broken it in time, then turned his mind away from the bad possibilities. A year ago, he wouldn't have been able to do that, and he thanked the Force for his new ability.

And, of course, he sent a prayer for the Force to protect his Obi-Wan.

The Force came back at once with a ripple of reassurance. Before Qui-Gon could thank it (and wonder why it had chosen this time to tell him everything was well when he hardly ever got a response of any kind to one of his requests) a wave of Dark Force, stronger than anything Qui-Gon had felt since he was in the presence of Darth Maul, rolled towards him. He could even sense the sender and he knew the man at once.

_Xanatos._

He rose, hand dropping to his concealed lightsaber. He knew at once that Xanatos was outside the bio dome the Agricorps had set up on this world, waiting out in the waste that this planet had become after all its mineral resources were ruthlessly stripped away. The pollution outside the bio domes was so high that no one could last long outside without a rebreather. And the nuclear winter made killing-cold temperatures the norm.

Qui-Gon checked for his rebreather, moved to the place where short-distance terra-pods were kept, snagged a warm cloak from those that hung by the pods, and left the bio dome, letting his connection to the Force lead him.

oOo

Anakin scrubbed the hallway down. This was droids' work, but today it was his punishment. He'd been working for three hours, and everything ached. But he refused to give up. Reeft had given him the task, saying it would give him time to think, and it had certainly done that.

He'd started out by berating himself for not telling Obi-Wan his feelings, but after an hour of that, his anger had given way to the realization that he needed to stop being upset at himself and start planning what he would say to Obi-Wan when they finally met face-to-face. He longed to hear Obi-Wan's voice, but he didn't dwell on that, either. Instead, he focused on what must be said.

He would make sure they were alone. After he met Obi-Wan's shuttle, he would ask Obi-Wan to go to their quarters with him where they could talk. The quarters were be impeccable, and Obi-Wan would compliment him on that. Anakin would share with his master that he'd been able to get rid of almost all his anger, then confide that his grades were back up where they should be. After all this would come his confession: _Obi-Wan, I need you to listen to me carefully._

_Of course, Padawan mine._

_I need you to understand something very important. _Here he would pause for effect, and to make sure Obi-Wan was truly ready to listen. Then: _Obi-Wan, I love you. I've loved you for two years. I can't help it that I love you, and I only ask that you won't be angry with me. Part of me wants to separate you from Qui-Gon-_

Maybe he couldn't quite confess that.

_I understand that you're with Qui-Gon, and I'm not asking you to leave him, but-_

Except, that was exactly what he was asking, and he wouldn't lie to Obi-Wan.

_So what in the name of the Force am I going to say?_

That single question had kept him occupied for the last two hours of his punishment. And now, nearly done with the impossibly-long corridor, he was no closer to an answer than when he'd started. Groaning, he conceded that this might be something he needed to either talk with another master, or just give up and hope the right words came when he needed them.

_Forget that second one. If I say this wrong, I'll lose him as a friend and never have a chance with him. _He groaned. _Not that I have a chance now. _He couldn't quite make himself believe that. Who had been with Obi-Wan through so much? He had. Who understood the real meaning of love, not love inside the Force, but just love, by itself and for itself? _I do._

A shadow fell over Anakin, and he glanced up, half-hoping it was Reeft, come to spell him from the rest of his task, or at least to talk to him while he worked. It wasn't Reeft.

Adee gazed down at him, smiling. "Hello, Padawan. So, you were caught?"

Anakin didn't know what to say to that. He found that he disliked Adee and felt an urge to be away from the master. His feelings from the day before came back, and he wished he'd told Reeft the truth about his encounter with Adee. He rose to his feet so Adeew ouldn't be towering over him.

"I asked you a question, Padawan. Has all this hard work tired you out?' He glanced down at the bucket Anakin had been working out of, then kicked it so it tipped and spread all over the floor. "Huh. I guess you'll need to clean that all up." He turned away.

Anakin gaped at the master, then stared down at the puddle. "Why did you-?"

Adee's voice was little more than a whisper. "I needed to let out some frustration. If Obi-Wan didn't teach you that physical gestures can help your mental state, he was lax in his duties."

Once again, the lightsaber was in his hand, but this time Anakin was able to master himself enough that he didn't ignite the weapon. "Listen to me, _Master_. Obi-Wan was never lax in anything. That's not in his nature. And if you want to keep ridiculing him, I'll ask you to repeat all that in front of Yoda and the rest of the Council and see what they think of you."

Adee laughed. "You think I'd repeat any of this?" He chuckled. "Young one, you don't understand the Jedi at all. Everything you've learned has been about the Force; you've learned nothing of politics. I've earned my way up to the Council, and no single padawan is going to pull me back down."

Anakin retreated six steps, holstered his lightsaber. His hands were shaking. He reached out to the Light Force, calling, _Reeft! Reeft! Help me! _He didn't know where his sudden panic had come from, until the Light Force spoke back to him, telling him how much danger he was in. Anakin continued to retreat, his eyes on Adee, making sure the master wasn't moving toward him. _Reeft, please!_

_Where are you?_

That feeling of empty space where there should have been Force, Dark or Light, came again, and Anakin retreated another step. Adee was moving towards him. _The corridor I was cleaning. Master, he's dangerous._

_Who? _A pause. _Stay away from that empty place._

_I'm trying, but he's moving towards me._

_Who?_

Adee leapt then, and when he moved, he rode on a wave of Dark Force strong enough to break Anakin's connection to Reeft, and Anakin understood for the first time that even if he could connect with other Jedi easily, the strength of that connection depended more on who he was connected to than how much he needed to be connected to that person. He understood also that if it had been Obi-Wan he'd been connected to Adee wouldn't have been able to drive them apart.

He fumbled for his lightsaber, but the Dark Force clouded his thoughts, blurred his vision, and he staggered back another step before strong hands seized his arms and he couldn't retreat. Shivering, he tried to make himself see, tried to pull away. But he'd never been so close to someone so filled with the Dark Force. Even when he'd been near Darth Maul, he hadn't been this close, and he'd given over everything he was to Obi-Wan, not reaching out to the world beyond his master's mind. He'd never felt Darth Maul's power, and now he was glad. If he'd felt that, he might not have been able to help Obi-Wan. If Darth Maul's power had been equal to Adee's (and Anakin knew it had to be much stronger) he thought he probably would've passed out.

Dimly, he heard the whoosh of a door opening. Then the hands released him and he fell on something hard. Groaning, he tried again to clear his vision, or at least get to his feet again.

He lost any chance of escape when Adee stretched out on top of him.

Still, Anakin tried to fight, but the combination of that empty place and the Dark Force swirling around him on every side was too much. He cried out, unable to hear himself. Then there was a hand over his mouth, but the cries went on in his mind. _Obi! Obi, help me! Obi, please! Obi! Obi!_

Like it was happening to someone else, he felt Adee stripping him. He couldn't even wriggle anymore, forget struggling full-out. He was paralyzed by the Dark Force, and nothing he could do would change that. Still, he screamed for his master.

Something steely pressed against his entrance, and he sobbed, knowing what was coming, afraid not only of the pain that would come, but of the Dark Force Adee might fill him with. He feared he'd be disconnected from the Light Force, just as Obi-Wan had been. And even if he didn't rely on the Light Force for every breath as Obi-Wan had always done, Anakin wasn't stupid. He knew the Force was what gave him at least some of the amazing skills he had, and that the Force was responsible for his connection to Obi-Wan. He couldn't imagine ever being without that last. He'd make his way in the universe somehow, Force-given skills or no, but he couldn't live without Obi-Wan.

"…going…like this." Adee lifting off him a little, getting ready to-

_NO! _Like a crack of thunder, loud, yes, but also powerful in its raw energy, Obi-Wan's voice filled Anakin's mind, bringing with it a beam of piercing white light that drove Adee back.

oOo

Qui-Gon spotted Xanatos's pod when he was a dozen kilometers from the bio dome. He knew he was another ten kilometers from the next one. Xanatos had chosen a desolate place to fight, then, which was like him. If he was at all leery about defeating Qui-Gon himself, he would make sure the terrain or circumstances were on his side.

How did he know it was Xanatos's pod, or even that it was Xanatos he sensed? The answer to both questions was a mixture of the Force and intuition. Any doubts he had harbored that Xanatos couldn't be truly alive had disappeared years ago. He wondered how Xanatos had survived, but just then it didn't matter.

Xanatos's pod settled down, opened. Qui-Gon saw Xanatos was wearing a rebreather and a warm cloak. He nodded. Trust Xanatos to trust to Qui-Gon's sense of fair play. He knew Qui-Gon wouldn't just blast him from above. _Or maybe he knows these pods have little more than sand blasters that he could easily dodge. _Yes, maybe it was just that Xanatos knew. Trust him to know all the variables in the a situation, or to think he knew all the variables.

Qui-Gon landed, adjusted the rebreather, made sure the cloak sat well, and left the pod. He didn't draw his lightsaber just yet. Such had never been his style, and he didn't mean to change now. Besides, there was a certain way this dacne with Xanatos had always gone, and though he didn't trust to that, he knew there was a very good chance that their initial contact, at least, hadn't changed all that much.

Xanatos was dressed in his characteristic black, as if he needed to show everyone who he was, what he was made of. But Qui-Gon could care less about what his former padawan was wearing. He couldn't believe what he was seeing: no scar on Xanatos's cheek, and, impossibly, the man looked even younger than Obi-Wan, maybe in his mid- or late-twenties. _How can this be? _A little more important than his last question, but Qui-Gon also ignored this one. Let Xanatos reveal his secrets if he chose. Qui-Gon had learned long ago that one of his former padawan's greatest failings to keep such information to himself.

Xanatos didn't have his weapon out, either. His smile gleamed, and, as always, he looked amused and annoyed to see Qui-Gon. "Well, when I heard you were hear, I didn't quite dare to get my hopes up. You haven't been seen in almost three years. How are you, Master?"

"Why are you here?"

"Don't you read between the lines? I'm here to kill you." He chuckled. "No double plan, no other scheme. I'm just here to stop you cold. You're an annoyance to my master." He bowed. "By the way, since you Jedi are so big on protocol, I am now called Darth Calus." He grinned. "You hide your shock well, Qui-Gon. I see you've changed, too. That's good; I didn't want this to be too easy." His midnight blue eyes were hard as ice. "I wasn't planning to talk you to death, but is there anything, anything at all, that you're just the tiniest bit curious about?"

Offering the answers. This wasn't Xanatos. Qui-Gon debated for a breath if he could should bite, then decided, _My pride's not so important that I have to engage in a battle of wills. _"What happened to you after we parted ways on Telos?"

"To me? I was growing up on Kamino, didn't even know much about you yet. But you're talking about the original, not the clone, I guess. You don't really care how I grew from a toddler to a young man in no time at all. You want to know how the original died. Do you want a muscle-by-muscle description of how the poison in that pool eroded me away from the outside?"

Qui-Gon paled.

"Well, I can't give you that. I don't actually remember those last moments. You see, the original transferred his memories to me every once in a while, and he could even do it on the run, but he didn't have time in those final moments. All I really 'remember' is Obi-Wan rising up to defend himself at last and stop listening to me torment him about Bruck's death. Then: nothing. I only know about the pool because my master told me of it. So, Qui-Gon, now you know: yes, you killed 'me' on Telos, but I'm back, I'm younger, I'm stronger, and much more powerful." His hand moved so fast that his lightsaber seemed to leap into it.

But Qui-Gon was ready with his weapon in his own hand, the Light Force allowing him to slow time so he could trace each movement Xanatos made. "All that remains to be seen. Talk's done. Fight me or run."

Xanatos laughed, head back. "You want a fight, Qui-Gon? This will, I assure you, be your last." He leatp across the intervening space, hitting Qui-Gon with a wave of the Dark Force even as he brought his lightsaber down in a sweeping arc meant to cleave Qui-Gon in two.

Qui-Gon met the blade with his own and the Dark Force with his own Light Force wall. He sensed that Xanatos was only showing part of his power, and thus he tailored his fighting style into an economy of movement, knowing he was going to have to either outlast Xanatos or trick him by sudden changes in strength and direction.

Xanatos sneered. "You're not that powerful, Qui-Gon. I can see why they still ahven't made you a member of the Council. At this point, Obi-Wan will be a Council before you. Assuming he isn't dead by then, of course. How is he, anyway?" Keeping up a constant stream of chatter, Xanatos pressed Qui-Gon close.

There was no use responding to any of the questions, and Qui-Gon had new reason to be glad that the Light Force had helped him with his anger. He didn't rise to the bait, even when Xanatos at last mentioned what he'd spent ten minutes circling around: the time the former Jedi raped Obi-Wan.

But after mentioning that long-ago crime, Xanatos fell silent, only pressing Qui-Gon more and more. His eyes turned into flinty steel, and his lips thinned into a line. Again and again, he threw the Dark Force at Qui-Gon, but was met each time by the master's Light wall. Similarly, his blade was stopped from feeding on flesh time and again. But his lips never formed a sneer or grimace; they only pressed tighter together.

With his economy of movement, Qui-Gon thought he would be able to outlast Xanatos's anger-driven attacks, seeing how Xanatos wasted his energy. And if Xanatos had continued with the tactics he was using, Qui-Gon would have been right.

He'd realized that Xanatos was driving him further and further from their vehicles, but because the landscape was so open, he allowed this. It was all part of his plan to tire Xanatos out. He thought he was perfectly save. The closest landscape change was a huge cliff rising forty meters away. Too far away and too smooth for Xanatos to rip off pieces of the rockface to throw at him. As long as Qui-Gon kept his distance from that single cliff, he was safe from all thrown objects except extremely small stones that wouldn't be worth Xanatos's time.

He underestimated how much Xanatos's clone had grown under Sidious's tutelage, or perhaps he didn't realize how much more raw physical strength and mental agility the original Xanantos had asked the Kamino cloners to program into this new, younger version of himself.

Whatever it was, Qui-Gon's lack of knowledge cost him dearly. Even as he readied himself to endure another barrage of Dark Force and lightsaber skills, he didn't see the half-ton of rock Xanatos ripped from the cliff face and hurled at him. He sensed the disturbance in the Force, and tried to duck, but pressed too close, he was given nowhere to move to. The rock hit him from behind, crushing several ribs and breaking both his legs before it squished him flat on the plain. His lightsaber stayed in his hand, and it was a miracle that he didn't sheath the glowing blade in his own body, but that didn't save him.

Xanatos had retreated several paces, but now he came forward. Qui-Gon's upper body protruded from under the rock. Xanatos crouched before the Jedi and smiled. "Can you hear me, Qui-Gon? It's over. Everything's over. Go into your Force, and leave me to my duties. And don't fear for Obi-Wan. I'll watch out for him. Promise." He started to stand, then stooped again and plucked out Qui-Gon's rebreather. "Can't be leaving any chances, now can we? You need to die today." He stood. "Good-bye, Qui-Gon. I would stop to watch you die, but I have something to tend to. An assistant of mine is going to learn where Obi-Wan is hiding out, then I'm going to take ObiWan to me. He's going to serve me. Death won't be an option for him." He smiled. "You see, Qui-Gon? In the end, I employed a Jedi tenet: I was merciful to you, my ex-master." He turned away, cloak swirling. "Obi-Wan won't be allowed to pass into the nothingness of the Force until I great deal of time has passed. I'd guess he'll be alive for the next fifty, sixty or seventy years as my whore."

Xanatos was gone then, or maybe he was still standing near. Qui-Gon couldn't tell. His breathing had stopped almost at once, and he was falling quickly into darkness. There was no way to sustain himself until help arrived. Through the pain, and the residual Dark Force signature Xanatos had left, he couldn't even feel the Light Force, let alone call on it.

_That's right, _whispered Xanatos in his mind. _I've reached out for you, though, and the Force tells me you have less than two minutes of life. Enjoy them, Qui-Gon. Remember al the nice times you had with Obi-Wan. Your memories will be the last of those times. Obi-Wan will soon forget you._

oOo

_NO. _The beam of white light intensified, then formed into a vaguely human shape.

Squinting, Anakin realized he was looking at an image of Obi-Wan in the medium of the Light Force; his master was _made_ of Light.

Something long and glowing rose from where Obi-Wan's hand might have been. A lightsaber.

_GET AWAY FROM MY PADAWAN._

Adee pulled back a little more, sucking the Dark Force back into himself, protecting himself.

Anakin sensed that Obi-Wan's voice alone might be enough to kill the Dark Force user. He tried to wriggle away from Adee, but for the moment that empty feeling held him in thrall, and the Dark Force was still strong enough that it kept him paralyzed. _Obi._

_GET OUT. NOW. _More light, flowing, Anakin saw, out of his own fingers and converging on Adee, who was struggling to guard himself with only his hands.

"He's mine, Kenobi. Just like you were once."

A breath; Anakin sensed the light dim half a shade. Then it was back, and he sensed nothing but the Light Force now.

_KILLING IS NOT JEDI-LIKE, AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A CHANCE TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT FORCE, BUT IF IT COMES TO A CHOICE BETWEEN YOUR LIFE AND ANAKIN'S, YOU MUST KNOW WHO I WILL CHOOSE. _More light. Adee flinching, crawling back. His hold over Anakin lessened.

Anakin's hands twitched and he tried to grab his trousers and yank them up. He could do no more than touch the waistband before the Dark Force stopped him again. He groaned.

Adee continued to retreat.

A wall of Dark Force half Adee's strength, but good enough to knock the wind out of Anakin, crashed against the Light shield Obi-Wan had been weaving around his padawan. The shield trembled, trembled, was strengthened for a moment, and fell.

Adee was back at once, and he pushed his way into Anakin in one movement, piercing the padawan deep, filling him with the Dark Force.

_No… _

Anakin sensed Obi-Wan rallying his defenses for another charge.

_NO! NO! _He shoved Adee back again, out of Anakin, despite the wall of Dark Force that was helping the fallen Jedi.

Hearing that voice, Anakin was afraid that Obi-Wan was angry, that his anger would create more Dark Force, but when he reached out down their link that had never really disappeared, he sensed that Obi-Wan's fury was in accord with the Light Force, that the Light Force was directing his energy and his voice.

Then: a voice Anakin knew as well as he knew Obi-Wan's voice: the voice of the Force. _Qui-Gon is dying. Leave Anakin to me and save him._

_That's the Dark Force! _Anakin shouted, even though he knew differently. _Obi, don't leave!_

From Obi-Wan: hesitation, near-panic, a touch of anger, all flowing down the link between apprentice and master, and the Dark Force rose once more.

The Light Force, sounding urgent, which Anakin had never heard of before, or even dreamed: _Now, Jedi, or everything will be lost._

_No other way?… I love you, Anakin. I'm sorry. _

_Obi, no! Obi, no, please! He's going to-_

Obi-Wan was gone.

The Dark Force and that empty place returned. And this time, Anakin could hear Adee's voice in his mind. Adee's voice, and another. Zee's.

_Where is Obi-Wan? Tell me the planet he's on. Tell me now, and I'll stop hurting you._

Anakin felt an instant of angry spite; yes, he'd tell Adee, just to pay Obi-Wan back for leaving him. But his love wouldn't allow him to ponder that for more than a breath. _Never._

oOo

On Degoba, safely in his own mind because he didn't have the strength to transmit them in the sight of the Dark Force at the Temple, Obi-Wan's thoughts ran this way from the moment before he discovered the Dark Force's attempt to rape his padawan to the time he was Forced (with a capital _F_) to abandon his padawan.

He'd only just left the communication with Qui-Gon, and he was busily erecting his shields to keep the Dark Force from discovering his identity. True, It could feel that he was Force-sensitive, maybe even a Jedi, but since It was specially seeking Obi-Wan Kenobi, he prayed he could keep that piece of information to himself.

The Dark Force had passed over Degoba seven times, as if It knew he was there, was playing some sort of grotesque game of cat and mouse with him, but then It would leave and he had no way of knowing what It suspected or why It traveled this way again and again. But as It passed, It dropped hints about a coming catastrophe. _Annie _was whispered in his ear.

He didn't ask which one; if he'd been the Dark Force, he would have understood that _Annie _could only refer, for him, to his daughter. And if the Dark Force meant something else, Obi-Wan didn't want to engage It in conversation. That was suicide.

The Dark Force said more: Annie would be the new Darth Maul, the best Sith there had ever been. Annie was different than anyone else, except maybe Yoda's desert son. And Annie was stronger than that son.

Obi-Wan's curiosity tempted him, and once he seriously considered reaching out to the Dark Force, telling himself, in his arrogance, that he could remain safe and hidden and himself if he was buried deeply enough in he Light Force. But the Light Force spoke up at once and told him his folly, and he accepted the wise words. What else could he do? In his heart, he knew they were the truth.

When he was shielded as best he could be, Obi-Wan turned his mind to the Light Force, asking for guidance, and asking for the Light Force to calm him. His need for Qui-Gon was so strong it was a physical ache; his stomach roiled with it, and his head spun. He found himself begging for the Light Force to just let him go see Qui-Gon and be done with this sabbatical, but when he was told that couldn't be, he asked the Force to take his need and replace it with devotion to the Light Force.

Before his request could be answered, if the Force had been planning to answer it, he felt Anakin's terror so strong it was as if Anakin was right next to him. At once, he reached out to his padawan, and he was treated to a full understanding of what his padawan was suffering and what he was about to suffer. Obi-Wan heard Anakin calling for Reeft, then felt the Dark Force destroy that new, fragile bond.

_Light Force, help me help my padawan. _He heard no answering voice, but the knowledge of what to do was suddenly in his mind and heart, and he at once leapt across the distance and rose up in Anakin's mind and in Adee's like a serpent of Light.

_NO! _Then, in his own mind, shocked at how quickly the Force gathered around him and burned inside him, turning him into a torchof living Light, he thought, _Be with me, Light Force. Help me help my padawan._

And again, using his voice and all that went with it as a weapon: _NO. _With a lightsaber in his hand now: _GET AWAY FROM MY PADAWAN. _In his own mind: _Padawan mine. Relax. I'm here. You're safe. _But he couldn't be sure that thought was carried to Coruscant. And, behind it, _Where's Yoda? Why isn't he there to protect you?_

Form the Force: _Yoda doesn't know. Zee is blocking him._

_Zee? Force, why is he-? _He needed to keep driving Adee out; all questions could be saved for later. _GET OUT. NOW._

Adee tried to provoke him. "He's mine, Kenobi. Just like you were once."

_So you did rape me during my trials! You've been o the Dark Side all this time! No wonder Yoda-_ He could feel the Dark Force gathering strength again, though, and so he let go out his shock. _KILLING IS NOT JEDI-LIKE, AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A CHANCE TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT FORCE, BUT IF IT COMES TO A CHOICE BETWEEN YOUR LIFE AND ANAKIN'S, YOU MUST KNOW WHO I WILL CHOOSE._

He wasn't sure if he could be the one to help bring Adee back to the Light, but luckily it didn't have to be him helping. He just had to keep from killing Adee in rage. The Light Force would help him there.

Zee joined his brother, adding his newly-discovered Dark Force ability to Adee's. He wasn't very strong yet, but, in terms of the Dark Force, he was just a child. Obi-Wan found himself shoved back, and he struggled to stay with his padawan and keep him safe. He wasn't quick enough, though, or strong enough. He felt Adee rape Anakin, flesh to flesh and Dark Force burning his padawan.

Guilt assailed Obi-Wan. _No…_ He gritted his teeth, in the physical world as well as in the one between minds, and let go of all feeling, connecting to the Light Force even more deeply. _NO! NO! _And despite the added strength of the two fallen Jedi, he was able to shove Adee back once again and hold him there. _It's all right, Anakin. I'm here. I'm here. If you can move, pull away from him. I'll find a way to alert Yoda. Just put some distance between him and yourself if you can._

A voice filled his mind, and Obi-Wan, like his padawan, knew from whence it came. _Qui-Gon is dying. Leave Anakin to me and save him._

In his shock, Obi-Wan could have been knocked over by a feather. _Leave me padawan? _Leave_ him? You can't be serious! _

The Force was serious; he felt it. He sensed the urgency in the call of the Light Force, and though he feared for his lover, he didn't understand why the Force should be so bent out of shape over the death of one Jedi. _And I can't leave Anakin. He's just a child. Can't this wait? Won't Qui-Gon live until-_

_Now, Jedi, or everything will be lost._

_No other way? _the shaken Master asked, his thoughts on Anakin and Qui-Gon both, his heart aching for them both, and for his inability, even within the magic that was the Force, to be in two places at once.

_Everything lost._

Before he went, Obi-Wan sent a final thought to his padawan, wondering if Anakin would believe it. _I love you, Anakin. I'm sorry. _He turned his mind from his padawan, and at once felt the flickering nearly-out glow of his lover's life force. Qui-Gon was indeed dying, and I the place where he was, he had half a minute at most.

_Force, he's so far away. What can I do?_

A slap, and Obi-Wan's head whipped to the side in the physical and metaphysical world. _There is no distance in the Force. Reach._

The Dark Force Lays Plans

Annie Jenn (Jinn-Kenobi to her parents and to the Council, but to no one else) closed her eyes and called all her favorite toys to her. Into her hands flew the model of a Tark-beast she'd built, the soft Kei doll she'd sewn, and the glowing spin-top Master Obi-Wan had given to all the younglings in her class. This last was a Force-toy, something she could make light up and spin with the Force. She'd even discovered that the toy could make noise if she used the Force just the right way. She was the first in her class to discover this, as she was the first in her class in most things. That fact always pleased her, and sometimes she imagined being the youngest Knight ever, a thirteen-year old Knight who got to pass the padawan stage because she was so good. Then she would think, _Forget thirteen. I could be a Knight in two or three years if I really worked at it._

With all her toys around her, she opened her eyes and smiled at them. Hugging her Kei close, she whispered to it, "I'm special. When the Jedi chose me, they knew I would be great, but they didn't know I could be greater than Yoda. Once they know that, I'll be the head of the Council and I'll lead them the way I choose."

She was discreet; none knew she harbored these thoughts. To all appearances, she was eager, willing to help, willing to try anything, always ready to listen and learn. And, though she didn't know, her accomplishments were greater than all that because Yoda was watching her very closely. He was watching her because of those things Obi-Wan had reported to him, but also because he'd had his own disturbing dreams about Annie Jinn-Kenobi, and though they raised more questions than they answered, he still thought they answered this at least: _Was she a potential danger to the Jedi? _

_Yes. Yes._

She set the doll aside and used the Force to lift the top and begin to play with it. But all challenge had gone out of the toy, and soon she grew bored. _Maybe if I could find Master Obi-Wan, he would give me a harder toy. Or something that isn't a toy at all._ She considered going off to look for the Jedi, but then her eyes were drawn to the toy again. In the silence of her room, it seemed to hum. She touched it with two fingers and felt it quivering with a power that had nothing to do with the Light Force.

_Annie, I am here to help you._

She blinked, unafraid. _Who are you?_

_My name isn't important. I'm here to help you. Soon, you will grow into a young woman._

_I'm already-_

_Don't interrupt. You will grow into a young woman in mind and body as well as in spirit. In a matter of hours, you will change from a child of almost nine to a woman of eighteen, with all the attendant knowledge that comes with that. Would you like that?_

She wasn't stupid. _Why would you do that for me?_

_Ah, so you're already intelligent. I thought you might-_

_Don't flatter me. Answer._

The voice in her mind became all business. _My name is Darth Sidious, and I want to make you one of my disciples._

She didn't know much about the Sith; why would the Jedi tell a young girl about such things? If she had been born in Obi-Wan's generation, she would have been a padawan by now and perhaps her master would have told her, but the padawans-at-thirteen rule applied to her, and neither Yoda or any of her other teachers saw any reason to tell her about the Sith. But the name Darth Sidious spoke to her mischievous, inquisitive, Force-may-care nature, and she was still too young emotionally to protect herself form her own urges. _Why me? Be honest._

_Because you're not like other Jedi. Have you heard of the Chosen One?_

_That's not me. It's whispered that Padawan Anakin is that._

_True. For the Light Side. But you, Annie Jinn-Kenobi, are the Chosen One of the Dark Force. The Dark Force made you from its own unstoppable power._

She was almost swept away by what this unknown voice was saying to her, but the last name caught her attention, mostly because she already knew a Kenobi. _Why did you call me Annie Jinn-Kenobi?_

_Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi are your parents, Annie. Or at least they believe they are. _A soft chuckle. _Your resemblance to your father cannot be denied._

She considered that, thinking of the red hair and changeable eyes of the one master who came into the younglings' room sporadically. Most other masters came in again and again, even if they weren't actual teachers, because they loved to work with the younglings. But Obi-Wan only came in a few times, and though he taught the younglings something each time he was there, and he was a good teacher (she judged this, as a child would, by the toy he'd given and by the fact that she could master all his tests) he never stayed for more than a few hours, and the time between visits couldn't be predicted. Like now. He hadn't been in to see the younglings in years. But still, she remembered him, had been drawn to him somehow, and not just because of the Force-toy. Something inside her had always reached for him. _And I always thought it was because we had the same color hair. We're the only two Jedi I've ever seen with red hair. And his eyes are a lot like mine, even though mine are a different shape. _

_Why hasn't anyone noticed that he's my father? Master Yoda's smart._

_Yoda knows all about Obi-Wan and you, or thinks he does, and because he thinks he does, he doesn't suspect otherwise._

For a moment, she was out of questions. Reckless cravings were born in her during that silence, and when she spoke again, it was to ask a child's question: _Will I become the greatest Jedi ever?_

_You will be greater than all Jedi, and yet not one of them. They would never accept you._

_They have to. I'm Master Obi-Wan's daughter._

_No, Annie. The Jedi are strict. Haven't you noticed that?_

Reluctantly, she nodded.

_They will see you as a threat to them, no matter how powerful you are, because, with the help of the Dark Force, you're going to grow quickly._

_So if I waited, then they would trust me to lead them?_

_Maybe. Maybe not. But the point is: can you wait that long? The Dark Force needs you now, calls on you to fill your Chosen title._

_I don't care what the Dark Force wants. If it's in such a hurry, it should have made me exist sooner._

_You're right; of course you are. But even the Dark Force- like the Light Force- can't see every eventuality. Who knew the Chosen One of the Light Force would become so powerful so soon? And if his master returns, he will become even stronger. You are needed to tip the balance, Annie. You are needed to save the Jedi from themselves. They are like a piece of rotted fruit, rotting from the inside out. You can't see the signs yet, You are young, but if I was to help you grow up, you would see how truly diseased they are._

She was silent again, thinking as well as she could in the midst of her limited experience and great ambitions. And, for now, she decided that she needed two things equally: she needed to wait, because she didn't know anything about the voice speaking to her, and she needed to give this voice something of what it wanted, or she might lose any favor and opportunities it had been planning to give her. _What can I do about keeping the Chosen One from getting too strong? Do I need to help keep his master away? I can distract Master Obi-Wan; I'll tell him I know who he is, and he'll want to spend time with me and give me all the things he didn't before. Like attention. _Her lip curled. _Even living under the same roof and he could only come see me once in a while, and only when I was with the others, never just him and me._

_Obi-Wan is blind to the charms of children, even clever ones like you. He sees only the lies Yoda has told him about the Force, telling him that following the Force is more important than taking care of others, than loving others. No, Annie. The only way to keep Obi-Wan away would be to kill him._

She waited to see if she cared about killing Obi-Wan, and discovered that she both did and didn't. She felt no attachment to him as she thought a daughter should, but two other truths spoke up in her heart and negated this lack of feeling. The first was one Yoda had trained into her, and she couldn't quite rid herself of it: killing is wrong. Even in self-defense, you try to preserve the life of your enemy. And the second truth was this: Obi-Wan, if he was truly blinded by devotion to the Force (as she saw so many Jedi were) then what he'd done, giving her the toy and coming to visit her sometimes, even in the middle of her classmates having to be there, was nothing short of love for her, even if he wouldn't call it love, even if he couldn't do anything else for her. She smiled, thinking, _He would never give his padawan a toy. He would never come see his padawan even if his padawan was dying, because he has to follow the Force._

She didn't know that the Dark Force had aged her mind six years or so, and wouldn't have cared if she knew. Her body remained that of an eight-year-old, and that was what mattered to her.

_I won't kill Obi-Wan, but if there's a way I can help do it- without him knowing- then all right._

Sidious said, _All right, then, Annie. I'll make that work. I'd like you there to see him die because seeing him die would help severe your ties to the Jedi, make it easier for you to cross over to the Dark Force. _He paused, then said, _But you'll have to be ready to go. My servant that is going to kill Obi-Wan will come to collect you. Don't go with anyone unless they say 'Light to Dark.' That's how you'll know him. Go with him then, and if he has to disguise you as a hostage, don't resist. The Dark Force is a thousand times stronger than the Light Force because we don't have to waste time in walking form one light place to another, making sure our minds are upright and true. All we have to do is be just as we are, which includes tricky and sly and brilliant._

He was gone.

Annie looked at her toys, hugged her Kei to her, then looked at the others. If she was to play the part of a hostage, she must look like a frightened girl. For that reason, she should take her doll. But because it was Obi-Wan she was going to meet, she chose to take the Force-toy. Let him think that she loved it best of all and kept it near her always. He hadn't seen her in years; how was he to know that she'd set it aside? Let him think that the Light Force had whispered to him that he was her father. He would believe that.

She made sure she was dressed and ready when Adee came for her.

oOo

The Light Force crested and receded like waves against a shore, but also like the respiration and heartbeat of a living man. At first, Obi-Wan struggled to keep the waves from receding, to keep them growing. But soon the Force got this fact through his thick skull, through his terror and guilt: life didn't work that way, so he had to let go, or he would not only lose Qui-Gon, but Anakin, his own life (little as that was worth to him in the sight of the first two losses) and the rest of the galaxy would fall into Darkness.

Obi-Wan didn't understand all of that in the intricately-connected way the Force meant it, but he accepted what the Force said as truth, and so he allowed the Light Force to flow through him in waves. And with this acceptance achieved, the Light Force worked a miracle. It sustained Qui-Gon, helping him breathe, keeping his heart beating, keeping him warm in the frozen wastes.

And while he gave the Force most of his soul so it could continue to work unimpeded, a small corner of Obi-Wan's mind grieved for Anakin.

He hated himself for what he'd done, even as his obedient nature (ber'Nac had been right about that part of him at least) told him he could have done nothing else. And the fact that he was saving his lover was little comfort. He hadn't boasted when he told Anakin that he could separate his obedience to the Force from his love for Qui-Gon. Now a similar division was making itself known: his love for his padawan (both for Anakin in his own right, and also Anakin as Servant and Chosen One of the Force) and his love for Qui-Gon were separate and never the twain could meet. And his love for Anakin was, because of its second half, more powerful than his love for Qui-Gon. So here was another reason to hate himself, that he could so easily abandon his lover to help Anakin, unless of course, the Force ordered him to save his lover.

_Very likely, _that tiny corner of his mind thought, _the one time I challenged the Force, asked about my status within It, was my only taste of freedom._

_Not quite true, _the Force answered. _There's a difference between blind obedience and learning to trust in spite of anything you might see, hear or feel. Remember, Obi-Wan? 'Great Jedi Master.' Doesn't mean you're not without doubts or challenges or more sacrifices than you ever thought, in your worst nightmares, you could make; being great means you do the best you can with what the universe- other Jedi, circumstances, your own wits, and I- give you._

Obi-Wan turned from that, not wanting the comfort that might come if he really thought about that, though he was too disciplined to ignore it. He filed away the Force's words and turned his whole mind back to Qui-Gon, making himself forget for awhile that he was doing the Force's bidding again and that he was abandoning his padawan to the one thing he himself had asked to be spared.

oOo

Adee couldn't break Anakin. Like his master, the boy was too strong within himself for that. And unlike Obi-Wan, Anakin found that strength in himself at a young age, and never gave an inch.

Oh, he screamed, and he fought, and he tried, as the shock of pain and the burning of the Dark Force inside him built, crested, and began to fall, to call for help through the Force. But he never gave away anything, not a word as to Obi-Wan's location, not a picture of the planet, which was in his head, not one letter of the planet's name.

He didn't call on the Light Force to shield and sustain him, though, and so seeds of the Dark Force were planted in his mind as they had never been planted in Obi-Wan's. Instead, he sustained himself with his love for Obi-Wan and a future that, in those terrible, year-long moments, he refused to doubt. In that way, too, ignoring the possibility that Obi-Wan would always love Qui-Gon, the Dark Force began the job of turning his mind from the Light.

Then Adee was done, pulling out, taking that empty feeling with him, and leaving Anakin on the floor. Anakin sensed dimly in the connection that Adee had forced between them that it was Zee drawing Adee away, Zee trying to save his brother this one last time time. And why would Zee be afraid of detection? Because, like a mile-high torch in the midst of an otherwise lightless night, Yoda was coming. Yoda, and others, but most Yoda, sending out the Light Force like a thousand activated lightsabers.

If such a thing could be said of the Jedi Master and still carry the idea that he was connected deeply with the Light Force, let it be said: Yoda was pissed.

Anakin curled into himself as Adee and Zee fled, and this thought crossed his mind, to be picked up by an involuntary (but not unexpected) eavesdropper: _He's on Degoba. My Obi is on Degoba._

Then he wasn't alone in the little room, and all his pain and fear and needs dissolved in the bright Light Yoda sent around him.

oOo

S'ban had always known he was special. He'd gravitated towards the Jedi all his life, following their successes on the HoloNet from the time he was young. Of course, he could have never been one of them. His Force-sensitivity wasn't strong enough, or so he'd been told when he was tested by two of them at the request of his parents. But he never grew bitter. He used his connection to the Force, such as it was, to help others and to connect to all life around him. Doing so had allowed him to help many plants grow better, yield more fruit, and had also helped him to raise, with his wife, not one, but ten healthy, strong, amazing children. He'd raised them on stories of the Jedi, and on stories of his own path with the Force to guide him.

Having always following the promptings of the Force, from small things like which road to take to which girl he should pursue, he wasn't surprised to receive a nudge o go visit his daughter in the bio dome several kilometers from his own. He wondered why he was being prompted in this way, but didn't bother questioning it. If he was meant to know, the answer would be revealed to him.

This is how he came to be crossing the deserted place east of his home ten minutes after Xanatos had left not only the area, but the planet. S'ban wasn't thinking of anything in particular, but as he neared the Cliff of Cl'ah'sh, the Force compelled him to look to his right. And when he did, he didn't see with natural eyes, but with the eyes given him by the Force.

He saw a man lying a short distance from the cliff with a huge chunk of the cliff on him. _So this is why you called me out here._ S'ban was gald he'd been compelled to bring the pod with strong buster rockets and a nose nothing could crush. _Then again, I brought it because you told me to, _he thought at the Force. Nodding, he turned his pod in that direction. _I'm coming, whoever you are. Just hang in there for a few more minutes and everything will be fine._

He donned his breathing mask and his coat after he'd- with great care- pushed the rock off the man who lay beneath it. He left his pod running, wanting to keep the inside warm, and knelt by the motionless form. Almost at once, he saw the lightsaber in the strong hand, and he wondered at it.

_There's no time for you to wonder. He's a Jedi- you can see that much. But no one else can know. Not even your family. His life, yours, too, and the ultimate triumph of the Force over evil, rests on your ability to keep that secret. Take the lightsaber and hide it in your coat. _

S'ban's hands were shaking. _Are you the Force?_

_No. I'm another Jedi. But the Force sent me. Please do this. It's dangerous for me to talk to you._

S'ban took the lightsaber and secreted it away. _Dangerous for me?_

_For both of us. And for him. Can you get him to your ship? I'll make him light as I can. _

_How can you-?_

_Please stop with the questions. I'm grateful you're here because I wouldn't be able to keep him alive forever, but the danger's greater than you can know._

_All right. _S'ban couldn't see how he was going to get the Jedi up off the ground; the man, by the look of him, outweighed S'ban by more than a bit, but when he got his hands under the Jedi and struggled to stand, wondering dimly if he'd throw his back out, the Jedi practically floated off the ground. "Force sustain us!" he whispered.

The other Jedi- where was he, anyway?- answered, _It does. Always._

S'ban carried the Jedi to his ship, settled him inside, wrapped him in blankets and listened to him gasp as he breathed. He got behind the wheel. _Jedi? _he called.

A soft sigh. _If you can keep it under your hat, you can call me Obi-Wan. I'll be coming for him eventually, once he's stronger and I'm free to leave my current prison. Tell him this from me: adopt a new name and go into obscurity. Disguise yourself. The Holonet will be crawling with your description and news of your death. Wait for me. I'll come when the Force tells me to. _He paused. _Can you do that, S'ban?_

_Yes. _Without hesitation. He didn't even care how the Jedi knew his name. _I'll take good care of him._

_The Force thanks you. And so do I. _The presence in S'ban's mind was gone.

S'ban started for his daughter's house. She was a great healer, and as his own child without children or a husband, and living far from others, she would have been his choice for a place to take the injured Jedi. He gunned his engine, listened to the Jedi's ragged breathing behind him, and continued on his way. The rescue took less than twenty minutes.

oOo

"Now will you tell me why I repeated all that?" Obi-Wan asked the silence around him. The rain answered him as it sometimes did, but he didn't enjoy its secret voice as he had learned to. "And now that I've done that, why won't you let me return to my padawan?"

The Force answered: _Obi-Wan Kenobi, you have heard more from me than most Jedi. Be content with this: you will be back at Temple in two weeks, and you will not tell anyone about Qui-Gon living. _A fierce glow seemed to infuse the world, living behind the rocks and hiding in the rain. It couldn't be seen, but felt. _Accept that, and accept that you did the right thing, no matter what comes. I give you two weeks to do that, then you will be needed once again. _A pause. _When I call for you, it may be to place whore. Can you?_

Obi-Wan swallowed, set aside his fears and worries and self-hate. _Yes. If that's what you ask of me._

_I do. Will you play the whore again if I call you to it?_

_Yes. If I must. Will you-_

_Demand nothing in return, nor even ask for it. Know that Anakin is the Chosen One and that he is meant to live. Mediate on that, and on this: find peace within yourself. You have less than twenty hours before you must fight a battle. After that, you will remain here for twelve days, then you will be allowed to leave. Will you meditate on finding peace about what I asked you to do and what you did of your own free will?_

_I still don't quite believe it's of my own free will, so I'll meditate on that first._

_Let that go. Accept what I say, and only meditate on peace, on your need for peace. Now, stop trying all things but the ones I suggest. I need you, Obi-Wan._

When the Force had fallen back into the usual hum each Jedi felt, Obi-Wan thought, _If that was supposed to make me feel important or scare me into meditating on peace, it won't work. But I'll do as You ask, Force, because you kept Qui-Gon alive, and because You are _You_. But...but… _

But what?

_But I'm tired and have scarcely more answers than I had before I came here. So if You're going to sustain me, Force, and if You're going to find a way for my padawan and I to ever be close again after my betrayal, You must know this: without a miracle akin to the one You worked to keep Qui-Gon alive, neither of those things will happen. I'll die, or I'll lose Anakin and not be able to teach him any more about You._

He tried to turn to meditation, but for the next eighteen hours, he managed only this much: to sink into thin meditation for an hour or two, then resurface and be driven to restless pacing. Guilt ate at him. At the end of that time, having called out to Anakin more often than he meditated, Obi-Wan was as far from peace and serenity as he had ever been since Qui-Gon found him grieving for Master Ahleh and ready to leap from the highest window in the Temple.

He wasn't ready to fight Adee.

oOo

Anakin's eyes flew open. He was conscious of a general soreness, but, more than that, he was conscious of being empty, cut off from everything around him. Well, the Force hummed in his mind, but only he was only dimly aware of this. Even when he saw the room around him, the light streaming in through the high window, he felt like he was only visiting this world, that the world he really belonged to was one of darkness that had nothing to do with life or warmth.

Then his eyes settled on the Jedi beside him, and he reached out. He remembered, as if a hundred years had passed since that time, wanting to fall into Reeft's arms. Now he wanted to do it again, and only that general soreness and a fear that movement would make everything explode in pain kept him still.

Reeft leaned forward and with gentle hands raised Anakin up to a sitting position and wrapped the boy in a supportive, tight embrace. "I'm here, Anakin. I'm here, and you're safe."

He rubbed Anakin's back as Obi-Wan had done, but he didn't kiss the padawan's hair or forehead, and that omission brought tears to Anakin's eyes. Before the tears could fall, Anakin reached out to the Force, calling his master with all his might. He heard nothing from Obi-Wan, but having reached out to the Force, he felt Reeft's sadness that the Jedi couldn't quite hide. Pulling away, wincing in anticipation of pain, but feeling none, Anakin asked, "What is it?" At once, his mind jumped to fear for his master. "Is Obi all right?"

Reeft blinked. "Yes. As far as I know. Nothing's changed with him. But… Anakin, you need to rest before I tell you. You have to heal. You were attacked, and-"

Anakin's panic made claws about his throat, squeezing inwards. "So Obi's fine?"

"Yes."

"Then what's wrong? If you tell me, I'll lie down and be quiet."

Reeft shook his head. "I don't know if you'll be able to. Lay down first. You don't have to be quiet." When Anakin had complied, the master said softly, "We've lost a Jedi."

"Adee. And Zee. I know."

"Zee? I don't know about-"

Anakin was sitting up again. "Zee helped Adee. He forced Obi-Wan back when Obi-Wan was trying to protect me. Except Obi-Wan was too strong for them, until the Force-" He stopped, lay back down. "Never mind. Where are they?"

"Adee escaped. Zee is in with Yoda." Reeft was frowning. "That was why Yoda took him away. I had no idea."

"What Jedi? Did someone die?"

"Adee kidnapped a youngling. Annie Jenn."

Anakin's stomach turned. Nonetheless, he was up again. "He's going after Obi-Wan. Why else take her?"

Reeft nodded. "I told that to Yoda. It was my guess, too." He paused. "As of right now, Obi-Wan hasn't been reached. Jedi have been sent to wherever he is, and others are out looking for Adee and Annie."

Anakin wanted to be up and on his way to Degoba. _Why? Obi-Wan abandoned me to go save Qui-Gon. _Still, his loyalty wouldn't let him hate his master. But the seeds of Darkness had been planted, and to distract himself from the uneasiness he felt, he asked, "Have you heard from Qui-Gon?"

"He- Qui-Gon is dead."

Anakin's breath caught. "What? No, he can't be. Obi-Wan saved him. The Force ordered Obi-Wan to go save Qui-Gon and leave me to Adee, and Obi-Wan always obeys the Force, so he-"

Reeft slapped Anakin much as the Force had slapped Obi-Wan. "Take care," he said, his voice low and dangerous. His eyes burned. "The sound in your voice is derogatory and bitter. Do you blame Obi-Wan for following the Force? That is the oath he took, the life he lives, the life you are trying to live." His fury was rising. "If you wish to spit on that, I'll see to it that you never serve under him again. After everything Obi-Wan has given up in the name of the Force-"

"Me," Anakin said, his hand on his cheek.

"He's given up everything _for_ you, Chosen One. His love for Qui-Gon-"

"Except he went to save Qui-Gon."

"Only after the Force commanded him, true? And did Obi-Wan just say 'see you, Anakin, you're on your own'? Did he? Or did he try to argue with the Force? Was he afraid for you? Did he get angry?"

"Yes." Anakin lay down one last time and closed his eyes. "Yes. He argued. Did all that." He groaned. 'Don't think I'm really angry with him. I love him. I will love Obi-Wan from now until the universe ends. I was just… frustrated. Not really with Obi-Wan; with the Force. The Force telling Obi-Wan to leave me. And Obi-Wan having to obey it. I mean, couldn't he have disobeyed it once? It did no good. Qui-Gon still died." He stopped, and traced those last words with his lips. "Is he really dead? It's not a rumor? He's dead?"

"We have proof, yes, but also the Force speaks of his death." Reeft bowed his head, whispered, "Violent death. A Sith killed him." He raised his head. "But that last is a rumor. The rest is fact. Can you feel it? A disturbance where Qui-Gon's life force should be."

Anakin reached out, at first unable to get past his need to feel Obi-Wan right there. Finally, though, he felt the place where Qui-Gon had been killed, his life energy released into the Force. He shivered. This, he realized, must have been what Obi-Wan felt when Tahl died, but more strongly, because Obi-Wan had been right there when it happened. "I feel it. Can you feel Obi-Wan? Have you tried to reach out to him?"

"The answer to the first question is no. The second answer is yes. Yoda gave permission when Adee disappeared with Annie. Yoda has been trying to contact Obi-Wan. Whatever's going on, Obi-Wan isn't answering his comlink or the call through the Force." Reeft took Anakin's hand in his own. "And now comes one of the other hard parts about being a Jedi: sitting and waiting when there's nothing else we can do."

Fury leapt high in Anakin. And, behind the fury, the first stirrings of hope, spawned by those Dark seeds: _If Qui-Gon is dead, Obi and I could…_ "We could go find Obi-Wan."

"Except you've been ordered to stay here."

"That doesn't apply when -" He tried to sit up, but Reeft was holding him down, and his eyes were bright again.

"Even when Obi-Wan is in danger. See? Do you see the danger of loving as a Jedi? To follow the Force and love at the same time is hard." He muttered, "Understatement of the millennia." Then, looking at Anakin, "We're going to have to wait. There's nothing else we can do. Besides, I haven't checked in with Yoda for almost sixteen hours now. Maybe there's been news. And you were unconscious for two hours before they would let me in here to sit with you."

"You… You've been here all that time?"

Reeft nodded. "You're my padawan; why shouldn't I be? Besides, I like you."

Anakin conceded, in his own mind, that he was touched by this, but then let it go. "Can you contact Yoda now?"

Reeft nodded, took out his comlink. "Reeft to Yoda."

"Yoda here. News have you?"

Anakin heard the tension in Yoda's voice, and felt his stomach knot.

"Yes, Master. Anakin's awake. He's been able to sit up on his own. I think he's mostly healed."

"Good news that is. Stay with him for another few hours I ask you to."

"Master, has there been any news about Obi-Wan?"

"No news yet. On their way to Degoba eight Jedi are. Protected or helped he will be, if needed either is."

"And what about Annie?"

"Found yet she has not been."

"Adee's taking her to Degoba to use her as a way to hurt Obi-Wan," Anakin said more loudly than he intended.

"Assume that we do, Padawan. But pursue other leads me must as well. A youngling not lost will be." Yoda took in a breath; the fact that Anakin could actually hear it frightened him. "Know of Qui-Gon do you, Anakin?"

"Yes, Master. I can feel it. Do you really think it was a Sith?" _So I can know who to thank. _All blood drained from Anakin's face. _I didn't mean that! I didn't! I love Obi-Wan, but Qui-Gon was the one who rescued me from Tatooine, the one who believed in me first, the one who-_

_The one who hurt Obi-Wan more times than you can count, the one you got angry at sometimes because he didn't know how to take care of his lover. Face it: Obi-Wan would be better off without him, with you._

_NO!_

_Yes._

He almost lost Yoda's answer in the midst of all this: "Unsure at this time I am, but logic says likely this is."

Anakin, still distracted, didn't know how to answer.

Reeft spoke. "Could Anakin and I help reinforce those on Degoba?"

"Wise that would not be. Recover Anakin must, and well-defended Obi-Wan will be. Serve him best you can, Anakin, by being here to comfort him when returns he does. Because of Qui-Gon's death, in great pain Obi-Wan will be. Need you he will, perhaps more than all others. Young you are, his padawan you are, but when returns he does, your compassion he is going to need. If meditate now you do, release some of your own pain you do, help him you will be able to." A pause. "Help Obi-Wan will you?"

_Yes, if I can hide the fact that I'm not that grieved about Qui-Gon's death. _But the moment he thought that, tears came to his eyes. It was remembering how Qui-Gon had cradled Obi-Wan sometimes, especially on Ragoon 6, and remembering how happy the two Jedi had looked when Qui-Gon came home after being gone for five years. _Obi-Wan loves him, and he's going to need me. _"Yes, Master. I will."

"A great comfort that will be. Rest for now, Padawan, and as soon as I have news, give it to you I will."

"Thank you, Master."

Yoda signed off.

Anakin scrubbed at his face. "Thank you for asking him."

"You're welcome. I want to be there myself. This is like when Obi-Wan was injured on Fregala. The three of us- Bant, Garen and I- got together and worried about him. We couldn't do much more than worry, then Tahl came and took Bant and they got to go to Fregala. They came back before Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan did, and Bant was able to tell us that Obi-Wan would live. Never did I want to be with him more than during the time she was gone. I thought it was unfair that the Force let her go, but wouldn't let me. Master Yaddle talked to me about it, tried to get me to see it from a different point of view, but for days I continued to be angry with the Force. Even after Bant returned with news that Obi-Wan would live, I was furious. Then, one night, I dreamed that Obi-Wan came to talk to me. It wasn't Obi-Wan, not really; I asked him about it, and he knew nothing. It was the Force in his guise. The Force as Obi-Wan sat on the edge of my bed and asked me why I was so angry. 'I want to be with you,' I told him. 'I want to know you're all right. And I want revenge on the ones that almost killed you.' He said, 'My friend, the Force calls us all to different places at different times. You're meant to be here, and I'm meant to be on Fregala. Something amazing is happening there and I need to face it alone.' I demanded, 'What about Bant?' 'She was only there when I was asleep,' he said. 'I needed to face things alone when I woke up.' Then he said something that made perfect sense, even though it hurt and I vehemently _didn't _want to hear it. He said, 'Every decision the Force makes is a threat in a tapestry. None of us can see where our threads are going to end, or how many other threads they are going to meet. Our thread could help make an eye in the Darkness or a hand that rescues thousands from death. Main threads or supporting threads, each is important. And a thread isn't just _who _you are, but where you are, and at what time.' Well, like I said, I didn't want to hear that then, but it's made more and more sense as I see other Jedi going out into battle, or going on diplomatic missions, or passing away. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the bigger picture, and then I'm relieved and comforted. But most of the time, I can't see what's going to happen, or why. Then I have to act on faith.

"You've heard this lesson a hundred times before, as had I before the Force came to me that night. And each time you hear it, you may feel anger or frustration or a belief that you'll never understand it, nor do you want to. All I can say to that is this: each of us comes to the comfort of the Force in our own time, and that, too, is in the tapestry."

Having the feelings Reeft had spoken of, Anakin laughed a little. "Yeah. That's how I feel sometimes. It's hard to trust the Force, even though I know it's more powerful and wiser than me. Because I can't talk to it, not like I talk to you."

"If you could, that might make the Force more real to you- for a time. But then you'd start to realize this truth: if you could talk to the Force all the time, argue with it all the time, you would never have to develop that trust-bond every Jedi must, at some point in his or her life, make. And without that trust-bond, we are, in the end, no more than powerful warriors without a true cause."

"But isn't defending the Republic our cause?"

Reeft barked a laugh so bitter and disillusioned that Anakin's jaw dropped. The Jedi saw this and said, "Anakin, the Republic is not the be-all and end-all of our trials and struggles. No government deserves such sacrifices as we make. The Republic is a great thing, a necessary thing, a wonderful thing- but it is still a created thing."

"A created thing," Anakin whispered. "Obi said that once. Before I was even his padawan."

"I'm glad he imparted the lesson so early. Many padawans don't learn of it until they become Knights. And then it's a rude awakening."

"So what do we fight for?"

"The rightness of the Force. In a universe where everyone followed the Force, there would be no wars, no murders, no hunger, and no poverty. _That_ is the goal we strive for each day we draw our weapon or sit down to talk peace."

"Will that ever happen? Peace everywhere?"

"It happens every day. One person at a time."

The Darkness that had been planted in Anakin was killed off a little. "Obi-Wan obeys the Force because he understands that? And he wants it for all people?"

Reeft nodded. "Obi-Wan understood that truth long before Bant or me. Only Garen got it sooner, and that was simply because he and his master had seen more."

Anakin closed his eyes. "I'm still worried about him." His grief began to grow now. "And I miss Qui-Gon."

Reeft moved so that he sat beside Anakin. Again, he took the young man in his arms. "Me too."

oOo

Yoda lifted the young babe into his arms. Golden brown eyes gaze up at him, such a striking contrast with the young one's blue skin. Yoda traced the wrinkles that all babes of his species carried, around the eyes and at the tips of the fine, half-furled ears. The pregnancy had been long, as it was always with his people, but now he at last had the miracle in his arms. And though he was exhausted, he thought he'd done well to keep his labors secret from the rest of the Temple. He'd gone into labor only an hour ago, and had been just bringing the baby forth when Reeft contacted him with news of Anakin's recovery. Yoda was sure neither Anakin nor Reeft had picked up on what he'd been doing. But even as he congratulated himself, Yoda wished that he could share this with all Jedi. Secrets were not their way, and he detested them for the lies he must now tell.

_Perhaps time to change some things about our way of life it is. Changed the younglings' time of apprenticeship we have; others things change we can as well. Tradition not a good reason is for keeping things as they are. Always changing the universe is, and though change the Force does not, ways of reaching it can change because times change._

But what were the traditions that must be kept so that the Force could be reached, and what were the traditions that must not change? What changes, in effect, would destroy the Jedi and give the Dark Force the opening it needed?

"Laahhh!" the babe cried, reaching up to tug at Yoda's robe.

The master smiled, surprised out of his thoughts for a moment. None of his other children had shown this trait of his species: the ability to move confidently so soon after birth. In this way, children of Yoda's species were like many non-sentient creatures: they could start to function at a rudimentary level within a day. And this little one would start his first attempts at speech within the week. Yace, Ahleh and Anakin hadn't done that, but had acted like human children, growing at that pace.

Well, except Anakin had of course… Yoda closed his eyes and cradled the babe to his chest. Without thought, he called the bottle from across the room and popped the nipple between waiting lips. Then, as his son drank, Yoda dreamed.

///Flashback///

Mace was shaking his head, his eyes on their week-old son. The boy's name, Anakin, had come to Yoda in a dream. It meant 'savior'. Considering the boy's parentage and possible destiny, it was ideal.

"Yoda," Mace said, "please remind me. How much time has passed since our son was born?"

"One week," Yoda murmured, his eyes also on their child. Their two-year old child. By all rights, that was Anakin's age just now, mentally and physically. The babe had gone to sleep the night before with small hands, no teeth, and with naught but a few strands of hair. Golden brown hair, slightly curled, covered the toddler's head.

Of course, it hadn't been that simple, and the parents hadn't been ignorant of their son's transformation. Near midnight, little Anakin had started to scream as his body was forced to grow much too fast. Despite this distressing sound, the Light Force had been singing in their ears, a triumphant chorus. The song it sang was simple: "Son of a Jedi and the Force, herald of salvation to come, grow now, grow! and bring the Light Force back to this darkening world."

In that moment, Yoda and Mace were made to know that what they had half-suspected was true: Mace wasn't Anakin's father. Yoda had been impregnated by the Light Force, and he'd brought forth this miracle as a result. That partially explained why Anakin looked like neither of them. Yace had looked something like Yoda, though a little taller, and Ahleh had looked like Mace except for her eyes, which were like Yoda's, and she'd inherited Yoda's broadness, though she carried it off well with Mace's long legs and long torso.

"What do we do?" Mace asked.

"Pray to the Force we must. Ask that Anakin not be subjected to more we should." When Yoda said that, he wasn't speaking only of the agonizing growth spurt but of all the danger he could see in his son's future. Without bothering to consult with Mace, he took Anakin to Tatooine the next day, half-guided by a grudging Force and half making the Force's suggestions what he wanted them to be. He found the woman, Shmi, and gave Anakin into her care, slipping his name into her mind as he slipped the toddler into her arms.

Anakin had reached for him; of course he had. And he'd cried. But Yoda knew Anakin would be well in time, that he would forget. And so the Jedi, broken-hearted but determined that his son would not suffer so, returned to Temple to face his husband and explain all. And, of course, to grieve.

///End Flashback///

The babe moved in Yoda's arms, throwing the bottle aside. He didn't use his hand to do this, but the Force.

Yoda smiled through his tears. "Beautiful you are," he murmured. "Beautiful you are, Woda."

As with Anakin's name, there was no meditation on the name; it had simply come. Yoda blinked to hear the name pass his lips, then nodded to himself. "Woda Windu. A good name it is. And a good path to explanation it is. This one tradition rid ourselves of we must. Love among the Jedi still mostly forbidden must be, and many petitions the Council will have to face, and perhaps distressed the Jedi will become if allowed to couple they are not, but…"

But love was an aspect of the Light Force the Jedi had neglected for too long. The Jedi needed to know that love was possible among them. Knowing that might draw more to the Temple.

_But my main goal that is not. Even with an army of Jedi-in-name, each struggling ot understand the Force, each not receiving the personal guidance they need, fall apart we would. These 'traditions' we must keep: teaching peace and serenity, teaching all to be one with the will of the Force. Telling them they can love destroy those basic tenets must not, else powerless mercenaries we would become. Mercenaries with lightsabers. _Yoda shuddered. _Never happen I will allow that to. While live I do, steer all Jedi again and again to the Force I will._

He lifted Woda up, kissing the babe's brow. "Love you I do, Woda," he whispered. "And know that you are my son everyone will."

oOo

Xanatos cursed. Adee had gone ahead with the plan to find the Chosen One's master, and he hadn't waited for permission. Xanatos had ordered him to wait for the signal, but being like most other Dark Force users, Adee listened only to his own thoughts. Now Obi-Wan was in danger, and Xanatos didn't know how he could manage to protect Obi-Wan and yet stay in Sidious's good graces. He wasn't ready to explain his need to his master. He was no fool; any perceived weakness on his part and Darth Sidious might simply find another apprentice. _And he wouldn't let me live to foul things up._

His secret need must remain a secret.

Xanatos at first couldn't think what to do, coming closer to panic than he had since becoming a Sith. One of the great powers in the Dark Force was the ability to channel all panic into anger. But now, panic threatened to scatter his wits to the four points of the compass.

Incredibly, it was an old Jedi technique that made it possible for him to think. Many Dark Jedi, as some of the former padawans and masters called themselves (to Xanatos's great annoyance), rejected all Temple teachings on principle, but Xanatos had never been afraid to take the few teachings that made sense to him and use them for his own ends.

Well, so he'd been afraid to use them at first, but that had passed quickly. Why completely burn that bridge when some of the ideas weren't faulty? Why not use every weapon at his disposal? If being a Dark Force user didn't give him permission to do that, then what good was it?

Xanatos half-meditated. And in this state, seeking not the Force, but the certainty inside himself that said everything he did and felt was right, he inadvertently touched another life through the Light Force. He didn't recoil because the other presence was just then overwhelmed by guilt and holding onto its Light Force-connection by a thread. Instead, Xanatos moved closer and touched a mind he'd only just remembered the existence of.

_He hurt Anakin. I _let _him hurt Anakin. And now he comes here. I could so easily reach out and kill him, be done with it. He would never hurt anyone again. I wouldn't be angry if he raped me, but no, he had to rape my padawan. _A breath. _I could kill him, then apologize to the Force. After all, It said I'll be stuck here for another twelve days. I'd have time to heal and repent._

Xanatos, careful to keep his thoughts to himself, wondered, _This is my Obi-Wan, isn't it? Yes. And he's falling away from the Light like I wanted him to. _But he at once that it was all wrong. Obi-Wan needed to be in the Light Force until Xanatos himself changed him. If he went to the Dark Force without proper guidance, he could lose all the things Xanatos loved- _lusted, damn it, lusted- _about him.

He needed to stop this self-destruction. Reaching out through the Force, flinching away form the Light and trying to hide himself as much as possible, he sent, _Listen to me, Obi-Wan._

The Jeid was far gone enough to miss the Dark Force trying to hide in the Light. _Force? _Guilt came at once. _I won't do it. I won't kill him. It's just- my padawan…_

_Let go. Don't you trust me? Follow what you know is right. _Xanatos pulled himself out of the connection and shielded himself. He was gasping slightly. _That was a fucking risky thing I just did. _He laughed, giddy with anxiety. _If Sidious ever finds out… Or if Obi-Wan follows me back here…_

Still, he couldn't deny that he felt better about the whole situation. _Obi-Wan wasn't that far off-course; what passes for a crisis in his stupid Jedi journey would be no more than a momentary doubt for most. He'll be fine. He'll follow the Light Force until I'm ready for him to do otherwise._

Tht would have to come sooner rather than later, but for now, Xanatos turned his mind to the HoloNet, curious to se how quickly the news of Qui-Gon's deth had spread. Depending on how much Obi-Wan knew about Qui-Gon's death, Xanatos thought he could pass it off as something Sidious had done, and thus win Obi-Wan a little more. _Maybe even I'll even pretend, for a while, to be thinking about betraying Sidious and coming back to the Light Force. Obi-Wan's such an idealist; he'll believe me, no problem._

Nodding, confident again that he would have time to make things work out as he wished, Xanatos watched the HoloNet.

But in the back of his mind, another worry had begun to rise. If Adee was independent enough to defy him, then the Repticonn would bear closer watching. It wouldn't do for him to sneak up on Xanatos and take his place.

_Too bad I couldn't count on Obi-Wan to kill him. _But Obi-Wan was a Jedi; he would never do such a thing.


	28. On Dagobah

**Author's Note:** I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that there is no way on God's green earth that I will finish this story by February first. The good news is that the reason I won't finish it is because the plot has developed in such a way that the story needs to be much longer for all things to come out right. I can't guess when this will be finished, but I can say that I will not work on my next novel, or any other fan fiction, until I finish this story. I hope this news doesn't bother too many people, and I hope you'll stay with me for the long haul. Also, I would like to thank Ancient Galaxy for being a constant reader, and I'll thank others that are constant readers as well. Also, I'd like to maek a formal apology: I just learned how to spell Dagobah, so I changed it. Those of you who are used to seeing Degoba, I've changed all the spellings in this chapter and in the chapters before, though those didn't make it to the posted chapters.

**Warning:** Character death

Xanatos's DiscoveryPg. 466

The Dark Force Lays PlansPg. 485

On DagobahPg. 504

On Dagobah

Annie peeked out the viewport as the ship made its final approach to Dagobah. She remembered with pleasure how surprised Adee had been to discover that she knew just where Obi-Wan was. Adee had been planning to take her and make Yoda tell. She was wise enough to know that would never work. And it made her smile to think that she was more intelligent than a Jedi Master, even if that master was only Adee. She disdained him.

She couldn't know that only desperation had made him clumsy; now that they were away from Yoda, Adee could sense more in the Force than she could, and he could judge it better than she. So unlike Annie, who hadn't bothered to reach beyond the ship, Adee had cloaked himself, creating that empty feeling that only being cloaked completely in the Dark Force made, and sought Obi-Wan's presence. He found it, a flicker of Light Force that was like guttering flame not because of its weak connection but because of its lack of focus.

Adee set the ship down in a firm place, nodded to himself when he was sure the ship wouldn't sink into the surrounding mess, then stood. "Let's go. You're going to be acting as my prisoner, so turn on those youngling charms: fear and confusion. Obi-Wan will do anything to get you back."

She grimaced at him. "I know what I'm doing. Just make sure you don't let him escape or talk you into anything. The Jedi are-"

"Don't tell me what the Jedi are like, child. I'm a member of their Council, remember?" Despite his angry tone, Adee felt a touch of hesitation. This child struck him as much more dangerous than all reason told him she should be. _Stop that. She's just a little whiny brat. She's Kenobi's through and through. _Except, looks aside, she was nothing like Obi-Wan, and he thought maybe that was why he was bothered. After all, he'd somehow expected her to be a little more reserved. Now he berated himself for that as well as for his momentary hesitation. _She's not dangerous, but she's nothing like Kenobi, either. Why should she be? I'll bet she's never seen him more than five or six times; why would she have any reason to act like him? _

They left the ship with Adee gripping her arm and keeping his lightsaber concealed for the moment. Obi-Wan would know it was there, but no need to show it just yet. Why threaten with a weapon when simple words would work just as well?

Obi-Wan was standing a few meters from the ship on another bit of firm ground. His lightsaber remained also at his side. He looked to be the perfect likeness of composure.

_But likeness is all he is. _Adee wondered if Obi-Wan had always been that way- looking composed, and yet divided beneath. _No. Yoda would have sensed this and he would have never let Kenobi become a Knight, let alone a Master. _So this was a recent development. _Good. Whatever its cause, he isn't used to being so out of control._

Adee took two steps, bringing Annie with him. He sensed her anger, like a small heat, and wondered how long before she pulled away from him. _But she won't. She's agreed to help me kill Obi-Wan. Does she know he's her father?_

Doubtful, that. But she would soon learn.

"So this is where you've been hiding, Master Obi-Wan. I assumed you had left the Order after such a long absence. It will please you to know your padawan has fared mostly well, except-"

"You raped my padawan." The blade was in Obi-Wan's hand, glowing bright as his eyes. "Don't pretend to anything other than what you are." He took a step forward, settling himself to wait for Adee. "Let her go and come face me, Darkness to Light. Unless you are afraid."

Remembering how Obi-Wan had single-handedly pushed him from Anakin's mind, Adee didn't rise to the challenge. Forebearance had never been his strong suit, and yet it came o him now and kept him from abandoning the plan and throwing himself at the Jedi. He doubted Obi-Wan could defeat him blade to blade, _but how much of that is true assessment and how much is your belief in his earlier weakness and his inability to back up such mind-tricks with a lightsaber? He graduated top in his class; that's why you waited for him to enter the Trials-room before you attacked him, for fear of his lightsaber techniques. He held his own for twenty minutes against Yoda, even, more than ninety percent of the padawans could manage, and more than a third of the knights could do._

"I won't give her over. She's my insurance. Put your lightsaber away before I decide to kill this young one." He smiled. "I'm sure you don't want to lose you daughter."

"All loss and gain is measured in the Light Force, and it is the Light Force I will obey, not you."

Calm words, but Adee thought he sensed the effort it cost Obi-Wan to say the expected words. "Very well, then." He drew out his own lightsaber, activated it, placed it under Annie's chin.

She writhed away from his loose grip and Force-leapt to Obi-Wan's side. He caught her arm and urged her behind him with a murmured, "Well done, Annie."

Adee fought not to show how furious and surprised he was. What was this betrayal? Did she think to kill Obi-Wan from behind? She hadn't even brought her low-power 'saber with her. Setting all this aside, he twirled his lightsaber. "Come and face me, Obi-Wan. For your padawan's honor. For the ability to protect others from him. How do you know I didn't fondle your daughter?"

The narrowing of Obi-Wan's eyes was accompanied by a blast of Light Force so strong it knocked Adee back against the side of the ship.

But he smiled. That hadn't been _all_ Light Force; not by a long shot. Now, if he could only feed that anger, he would have Obi-Wan. And what a pleasure it would be to be able to tell Calus- _No, forget him; tell Sidious- _that he, Adee, had driven a Jedi to he Dark Force before killing him. He advanced again, composing new torments. He lowered his lightsaber, wanting to draw Obi-Wan in.

oOo

_Force! He has Annie! _Obi-Wan fought hard to keep his hands from shaking, to appear calm. His heart cantered forward at a reckless pace and sweat broke out on his forehead. He prayed he was too far away for Adee to see this, and he also struggled to fortify his shields so Adee wouldn't know how anxious he was.

_This on top of what he's already done to Anakin? _Obi-Wan felt his anger growing, yet he didn't feel it as the block to the Light Force that it was. Just then, his anger was all he relied on, all he needed.

When Adee drew the lightsaber and settled it beneath Annie's chin, Obi-Wan tried to calculate a way to get ot her and cut off Adee's head with the littlest risk to his young one. Before he could even try to push his rage down so he could gauge things correctly, Annie wriggled herself out of danger and leapt to him. His heart soared to see how gracefully and confidently she moved, and his "Well done, Annie," was completely heartfelt.

Then Adee spoke of touching Annie, and Obi-Wan's thoughts dissolved for a short while as he flung out a wave of Force (Dark and Light; yes, he sensed it, though dimly). Then his thoughts reasserted themselves, and he was conscious of the out-of-control fury that coursed through him. _He hurt Anakin. I _let _him hurt Anakin. And now he comes here. I could so easily reach out and kill him, be done with it. He would never hurt anyone again. I wouldn't be angry if he raped me, but no, he had to rape my padawan. _A breath. _I could kill him, then apologize to the Force. After all, It said I'll be stuck here for another twelve days. I'd have time to heal and repent._

A voice that he mistook, in his angry confusion, for the Light Force, spoke up in his mind: _Listen to me, Obi-Wan._

It didn't matter. Force-born or otherwise, those words pierced his anger, marking it as the self-destructive thing it was. _Force? _Guilt flooded his mind, then was overtaken by grief. _I won't do it. I won't kill him. It's just- my padawan…_

_Let go,_ the voice whispered_. Don't you trust me? Follow what you know is right._

The knowledge of how close he'd come to the Dark Side warred with the desire to be rid of his pain, both that he had caused and that which had been done to him. _And I don't have time to work through any of it. _Obi-Wan came back to himself, seeing that Adee still hadn't moved. _What's he waiting for? Is he still trying for a chance at Annie? Did he touch my daughter?_

_Stop. _His own mental voice now. _Stop. You're feeding the Darkness._

Obi-Wan breathed in, breathed out, composed himself. _Light Force, you are my strength. Until I have time to meditate on what I did, help me set that aside and attend to this moment. Giving me strength in the Living Force. Thank you. _It cost him more concentration to center himself that much than he'd feared, but it was worth it; at once, Obi-Wan felt his equilibrium return. He sensed the memories and ramifications of his brush with Darkness being sealed off and pushed aside. It was a trick he'd learned when he was sixteen, not so very long ago, but now itw as executed for him, via the Force, and he was grateful.

Adee chuckled. "It seems you're having some difficulty, Master Obi-Wan. Would you like me to help you find peace?"

Obi-Wan opened his mind to the child beside him. He sensed the Darkness all around them, but assumed it all came from Adee. _Be ready to run, young one. I'll be leading you, and I'll show you a good place to hide._

_Can't I help you, Father?_

Obi-Wan's heart leapt to hear that title, but he restrained himself, burying the joy under needed discipline. _You can help me best by staying safe. And by watching. You'll learn many lightsaber techniques today, I'm guessing, and you may learn something about diplomacy._

_You can't talk to him. He's Dark._

_He is still a Jedi. He can still be reached. Saved. _Again, Obi-Wan wondered why Adee didn't take advantage of the lull, or at least try to spy on their conversation. He would have been shocked and confused to know that Adee was hesitating because he was nothing short of afraid. Obi-Wan would have been even more shocked to discover that Annie inspired that fear. In years to come, Obi-Wan would learn how wise this hesitation was on Adee's part, but for now he knew none of that, and so Adee's hesitation made him cautious.

When Adee spoke Obi-Wan's title of master, he did it like he was throwing an insult. But Obi-Wan used the title with all due respect. "Master Adee, I was hoping we could sit down and talk about all this. You have committed crimes against other Jedi, but even now Yoda can help you. Come back to the Light." Bile rose in his throat, but Obi-Wan swallowed it, refusing to give up. _Force, help me let go. Help me help him, if such a thing may be._

The Light Force surged inside him like a cresting wave. Obi-Wan almost smiled. _Could I have really given this up? _He knew how close he'd come, but he also conceded that it had taken but a word from the Force to bring him back.

Adee sneered. If he could have known it, he was rapidly losing his identity to fear. He was becoming what he needed to be: a patented threat with no will of his own. It was her eyes, peeking out from behind Obi-Wan, that did it.

Adee said, "I want nothing you're offering, Kenobi, unless you're offering yourself again. That I wouldn't mind. I'd like to compare master to apprentice and father to daughter."

"You never touched me!" Annie shouted.

"Calm, Annie," Obi-Wan murmured, releasing his anger. "Reach out to the Light Force. Let it comfort you."

Annie turned away from Adee and stood with her arms around herself. "I'll try, Father."

That slight turn-away was what Adee had needed. He leapt across the intervening distance with a howl borne of need to keep the girl's eyes off him. This wasn't how he'd imagined the Dark Force. Not at all. But he believed he was too far in to ever come out again.

Obi-Wan scooped up Annie in one arm and fled. He bounded from solid ground to solid ground with the Force and practice to tell him solid from sinking. He was aware of Adee giving chase, and dimly aware of Adee's threats and cries, but he ignored the words themselves. They didn't matter. Getting Annie to safety mattered. He kept going. The hollow tree where he wanted her to hide was strong and had at least three exits. She couldn't be cornered there. As he ran, he drew a map for her in his mind, showing her where his ship was hidden and how to get there through the swamp. _Can you pilot it?_

She hesitated. _I think so._

_If you're unsure, say 'Kenobi one' to the computer and the ship will take you back to the Temple._

_What about you?_

_Whatever the Force decrees will be. _He drew in a breath, surprised at how comforting those words were, how true they felt after his disputes with that all-knowing power. _Thank you, Force. _Another leap, and another. Then, with the tree in sight, Obi-Wan pointed it out to her and set her down. _Go. I'll keep him here. If I fall, you're to go directly to the ship. Don't try to fight him. Just go. Promise me, Annie._

_But, Father-_

His voice hardened. _No time, youngling. Promise me. _

She nodded. _Yes, Father. _She started for the tree.

_Keep your head down._

_May the Force be with you._

_And with you, Daughter. _Obi-Wan turned to face Adee. His lightsaber- when had he put it away?- was in his hand once more. "We can still talk."

Only glad to see Annie fleeing, Adee kept on.

His insane grin set off warning bells in Obi-Wan's head. The Jedi master had never seen anyone enjoy killing so much. Even Xanatos had concealed his intentions much of the time behind composure, and then, failing that, with his true thoughts out in the open, he hadn't come anywhere near this level of dementia. _Tread carefully, Kenobi, _he thought. _Something has already happened to Adee. He's already been betrayed by the Dark Force he thought he could trust. _Knowing that, Obi-Wan was reluctant to draw his lightsaber against Adee. He decided he would hold off Adee as long as he could with words, then disarm him, if possible.

Then Adee was on him, and they were engaged, blade to blade. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to try and talk Adee out of this deadly path.

An image of Anakin beneath Adee bloomed in Obi-Wan's mind, a poisonous night flower with black petals and a magic center that showed him Anakin's suffering firsthand. Obi-Wan watched Adee drive into Anakin, and heard Anakin scream. He heard, too, Adee ordering Anakin to say where he, Obi-Wan, was, and heard Anakin's reply: _Never. _This vow was only followed up by more pain as the Dark Force was used against his padawan, burning him, claiming him, filling him.

Obi-Wan's guts twisted and his legs tensed, preparing to spring. He held himself back, only defending himself. He breathed in and out, releasing his anger. Some of it went grudgingly. The rest stayed, and this Obi-Wan shoved far down, knowing he'd have to deal with it later. _But I'll have twelve days, so-_

_Obi! Obi, help me! _In the master's mind, he saw his padawan struggling against Adee and only receiving more pain for his trouble. Obi-Wan also heard Zee's voice, felt Zee's power giving Adee even more strength.

The master's anger flared again, and he was hard-pressed to push it down. To give himself time to think, he shoved hard against Adee, forcing the other to retreat a few steps and regain his balance. In that breath of non-engagement, Obi-Wan wish all the anger away.

None of it went, and he cursed silently. He'd let the anger grow too much, hadn't dispelled it. And because it was growing on the fuel of his guilt and earlier anger, it was rapidly becoming a monster he wouldn't be able to quell without meditation or at least more than a breath of retreat. But he had no time.

Thinking quickly, he said, "This isn't you, Master Adee. The Dark Force isn't you. And I'm sure the Dark Force has already betrayed you in things you thought were sure. Come back to the Light where you will never be lied to. The Light Force tells only truth. Come back to that; find peace as you once did."

"I never found peace." But for the moment, Adee wasn't advancing.

Obi-Wan kept talking. He deactivated his lightsaber and clipped it to his belt, knowing he could have it out in time to defend himself, but also hoping that if the weapon was away, the anger would go with it.

The anger remained.

"You can still gain peace and serenity. You can gain an understanding of the universe in terms of helping others and changing their lives for the better. Return to the Jedi and find answers for all your questions. Yoda will help you. I know he will. So will Mace. So will I. All Jedi will help you."

Anakin's remembered screams came again, and for the first time Obi-Wan realized that they were being sent. He groaning silently and tried to reinforce his shields. The images and sounds kept coming.

_If I can't either block this or deal with it in some other way, I'm going to attack him. I'm going to try and kill him. _

Adee had lowered his blade. He looked stunned, confused, even lost.

That look fueled Obi-Wan's rage. _You have no right to look so innocent. _He swallowed. Breathed. "Will you return to the Jedi? We can help you. Each of us can help you."

Adee took a step forward, one hand out. His eyes flicked over Obi-Wan's shoulder to the tree. "You don't-"

_Obi, please! Obi, I can't- He's going to- _Agony hot as a 'saber burn lanced through Obi-Wan's head from ear to ear.

The master groaned out loud. He held up a hand, palm out, as if he could stop the flock of Dark images that way. But even in his pain and repressed rage, he sensed that it wasn't Adee sending the images. In his ignorance, he believed it was the wave of Dark Force that had been searching for him. He didn't really care where it came from; he only knew he must stop it if he was to have any chance of coming out of this on the Light Side. "Adee, if you will return to your ship, I'll be there in a moment. I only need to collect Annie. Then we'll be on our way." His eyes were blurring with the strain of keeping himself in check. He blinked, trying to see Adee, gauge his expression. "Will you wait? We'll be with you shortly."

Adee grunted, nodded. He still wore that stunned expression.

_Thank the Force for small favors. If I don't have to look at him, if I don't have to be civil for just a moment, maybe I can calmly walk away from this. His life and mine will both be saved. _He turned his back on Adee.

The Light Force surged around Obi-Wan in a warning, and the lightsaber was back in Obi-Wan's hand. He whirled, bringing the weapon up to parry any thrust Adee was planning to use. His lightsaber didn't hit another weapon, but went straight into flesh, straight through Adee's chest. Adee had been holding his weapon up, but way off to the side, as if he meant only to pretend-leap.

Obi-Wan cried out in shock and anguish. He felt the Force ripple around him, telling him of Adee's mortal wound. The Jedi drew the blade back, keeping it steady, then shut it off. He'd somehow managed to catch Adee and keep him upright. After clipping his lightsaber to his belt, he eased Adee to the ground. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry." He made no excuses. "Even now, reach out to the Light Force and find peace there. Let go of the pain and confusion. Let the Light Force lift you from this place."

Adee's eyelids fluttered. "Tell Zee to stay in the Light." His hand spasmed at his side, and Obi-Wan took it. "Watch for her." His grip faltered, fell away. He chest stilled.

Hurt, and angry because he was so hurt, Obi-Wan made sure Adee's eyes were closed, then he rose. The lightsaber wound smoked, and Obi-Wan grimaced at it. "I didn't mean to kill you."

"Even if he doesn't know it, the Force does," Annie whispered. She had crept to Obi-Wan's side. Her eyes were on the corpse.

Obi-Wan stepped in front of her, then steered her, by the shoulder, away. "I'll be sending you on the ship anyway," he said, "with a message for Yoda: Adee must be buried or cremated, as his brother chooses. I cannot leave here just yet. Other Jedi will have to come for him."

His comlink buzzed then, and Obi-Wan, pulling it out, frowned at the little box. It had gone on the blink half a day ago. He activated it. "Yes?"

"Obi-Wan. Am I glad to here your voice. Adee Larn is looking for you. He's stolen a youngling and-"

"Master Ryn-yn, she's here with me, and Adee is dead." Obi-Wan bit his lip. Saying that last made it true, made it sound and feel like his fault. "Did Master Yoda send you?"

"Myself and seven others. We didn't know how much help you might need. Are you all right?"

"I'm not hurt, but…" He winced. "Please, when you arrive, I'll need to speak with you. How close are you?"

"We'll be making the final approach in five minutes. We've been trying to raise you since we left Coruscant."

"My comlink's been out." Unneccessary, that, but Obi-Wan was rapidly losing all ability make sense and hold a conversation. "I'll see you when you arrive. I'm in the northeastern hemisphere. Can you track me from there?"

"Yes. I have a fix on your position now. Ryn-yn out."

Obi-Wan retreated to a log a little distance from where Adee lay. He chose the log because if Annie sat beside him she wouldn't be able to see more than Adee's general shape in the mist. He called her to him with a gesture, not trusting himself to speak, and when she was beside him, he closed his eyes, laid a hand on her shoulder to keep her there, and tried to meditate.

He was denied this. Instead, facts popped into his head, more like orders than anything, and he listened to them, sensing (instead of guessing) that they were from the Light Force.

The first command: _You must not tell anyone that Qui-Gon is still alive._

_But, what about Yoda? Or the rest of the Jedi?_

_You must not tell anyone that Qui-Gon is still alive._

Obi-Wan groaned. _All right. But it's going to be hard for me to pretend he's dead. _

Command number two: _You will spend time with some Jedi that are coming. Not all. You will be with those I tell you. The others will take the body and the girl back to Coruscant. For twelve days will you remain with these other Jedi, and they will give you comfort._

That was well with Obi-Wan.

The final commandment: _You will lock the knowledge of Qui-Gon's living behind a small shield. You will know he is alive, but that knowledge will be hidden from others that touch your mind._

That would make it easier for Obi-Wan to perpetuate a lie, a shameful relief. _I will._

_All this is very important. Universe-changing. Balance-changing. Don't forget any of it. _The Force retreated to the back of his mind again.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and glanced down at his daughter. "Annie, who told you I'm your father."

"Adee." She bit her lip, looked up at him with large, green-blue eyes. His eyes. "Who is my mother?"

Obi-Wan chuckled even as he was moved by the trusting innocence he saw in her gaze. "I supposed I am. I gave birth to you. Qui-Gon Jinn is- was- your father. But when two men bring a child into the world, they are both fathers. At least, that is how many races call it."

"Was? Is he dead?"

Obi-Wan's stomach turned, but the lie rose, paradoxically, on a wave of Light Force. _So the Force really does support this. Why? _"He died a few hours ago."

"Do you miss him?"

This he could say with perfect honesty: "Very much. We've been apart for years; I haven't seen him since I left the Temple to come here." Sorrow overwhelmed him for a moment. It was thinking of their time apart that brought it on. How much longer would they have to stay like this? One conversation with his lover couldn't do more than whet the loneliness. Obi-Wan allowed the sadness to rise inside him, then he released it into the Force. It went more easily than the anger had, though he knew he would be releasing it again.

"Why didn't you raise me if you're both Jedi? I was right there in the Temple with you."

"When any child arrives at Temple, his or her parents agree to let that child grow up with only the knowledge of the Temple and other Jedi. This system is in place to protect the child and help him or her accept the Temple as home. Not knowing where you come from helps to make the whole galaxy your home, each planet your home planet, each people your people."

"Have other Jedi had children?"

"I don't know. It seems unlikely, because most Jedi are not allowed to love. Qui-Gon and I had to prove ourselves devoted first to the Force before our love was approved. Still, anything is possible where the Force is concerned, and the Force is everywhere." He asked, after a pause, "Are you angry that I didn't come to see you more often, or that I didn't explain this to you sooner?"

"Did Yoda order you not to tell me?"

"No. The Jedi Code urged me not to tell you, but the decision not to tell you was my own. I wish I could have raised you myself, young one, but it was better that you've been allowed to grow up as all other younglings. Knowing who your parents are can cause… problems. Not for all, but for many. I still remember who my parents are, but I haven't seen them since I was three, and so the memories are dim. When I feel homesickness- as most Jedi do- it is the Temple I miss, not my parents."

"Did Qui-Gon know who his parents were?"

Obi-Wan frowned. "I never asked him."

"Will things change now that I know who my parents are?"

Obi-Wan couldn't help but think that answering her questions was like answering Anakin's questions. He felt like a teacher and mentor, not a father. He'd never felt, if truth be told, like Anakin's father. _Maybe because I've never known what it feels like to be a father, I can't treat her like me daughter._ He wasn't sure if the possibility was depressing or comforting. "Change? They've already done that. You know now where you come from. How that knowledge will effect you depends on you. What are you planning to do with this knowledge?"

"What does the Force want me to do with it?"

That was a question Anakin might have asked in his younger days. With this connection made in his mind, Obi-Wan felt suddenly closer to Annie. His heart opened to accept this new form of caring, and he wondered what sort of father he might have been. His heart, still open, ached like a fresh wound to know how much he'd lost of this small miracle. Again, he released his sorrow. The decisions had been made and couldn't be unmade. And any attempt to 'fix' things would only cause problems between himself and the Force. He'd been separated too often from the Force to ever even want to dare it again, even in theory.

"Father? Are you all right?"

"Yes, young one, yes." Obi-Wan turned to her, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Please don't call me 'father'. It is our job as Jedi to make the whole galaxy our family."

She looked down at her hands. "Yes, Master Obi-Wan."

Her sadness tugged at his heart, and Obi-Wan gave into it for a moment, hugging her. When he drew back, he said, "Being a Jedi isn't easy, but it is the right path for you. You are meant to be a Jedi, Annie, and not only because you are my daughter. You are meant to be a Jedi because this is where the Force has brought you. But to be a Jedi is to accept the Temple as your home. And to think of me as a fellow Jedi."

"I'll only ask one more question about you, then I'll start thinking of you as another Jedi."

Obi-Wan nodded, though he wondered how she could so easily make such a promise. "Agreed."

"What's my real last name? It can't be Jenn. Is it Kenobi?"

Obi-Wan's chest tightened. Her need to know glowed in her eyes. "Jinn-Kenobi. That's your last name." He swallowed, tempted now to tell something few others knew. "And you had a sister: Lindi Jinn-Kenobi. She died long before you were born."

"How old was she when she died?"

"She was still inside me when it happened."

Annie bit her lip. "Oh. Where is she buried? Or was she burned?"

"Cremated. It's called being cremated. She was buried on Fregala, where Qui-Gon and I fell in love." More pain, more sorrow. These emotions seemed to be seeping out of his pores like poison drawn from a wound. Obi-Wan knew he would have to tend the wound itself soon, and wished the Jedi would arrive soon. "And now you know more than any other Jedi, except the Council, about my love for Qui-Gon and the fruits of that love." Dimly, he registered that he'd lied to her, intentionally, not telling her who her true father was, but he prayed the Force would accept that lie and let him go on. Doubtless she would find out the truth later and would judge him, but it was done now, and he couldn't see what else he could have done. How to explain rape to a child?

"I won't tell anyone. I won't tell them you're my father or any of the rest. Does anyone know you loved Qui-Gon?"

"Again, except the Council, no. And Anakin knows."

She put her arms around Obi-Wan and hugged him close. "I'm not angry with you, F- Obi-Wan. I think you made the right decision." She drew back, smiled up at him. "Everything will be all right. I know it. The Force tells me so."

Because he wanted to believe this, and because part of him already did, Obi-Wan found it almost easy to return her smile. "I believe the Force. All will be well." A sound of engines broke the quietly-bubbling noise of the swamp around them, and Obi-Wan looked up, following the ship's descent with his eyes. He nodded to himself. Soon, all would be well. Here came his help. He stood, and Annie rose beside him. "Time for you to go home. Many will be glad to see you." He knew he needed to say one last thing about her new knowledge, even if she seemed to accept it. "If the burden of knowing who your parents are ever overwhelms you, seek the Force, as always, but also seek out Master Yoda. He will comfort you and give you strength."

She nodded. "Yes, Master. I'll do that."

A few minutes later, the ship settled like a giant bird, and the door opened, dropping a ramp down into the half-solid ground. Obi-Wan saw that whoever had been piloting the ship had chosen a good place for it; there was precious little firm ground here, but firm ground was what had been found.

When the ramp had settled, a tall, fair-skinned, silver-eyed Jedi appeared at its top. She surveyed the area, eyes resting on Adee's still form before moving to where Obi-Wan and Annie stood. She descended the ramp. Seven others followed. She crossed, light on her feet and graceful as a dancer, to where Obi-Wan stood. Without a word, she opened her arms.

It was all Obi-Wan could do to keep his composure and not simply fall into her waiting embrace. As she wrapped her arms tight around him, he bent his head and rested I against her shoulder. "Bant."

She kissed his cheek, tightened her embrace even further. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," she whispered.

_Why? _Then: _Qui-Gon's death. Does she know already? _He didn't speak, but closed his eyes.

_I could make his death a reality in your mind, Jedi. Would that make the lie easier?_

Obi-Wan's breath caught. _No! I-_ Except it might help. He wouldn't have to keep remembering that Qui-Gon was dead, that he, Obi-Wan, had to play a part in deception. _That would help me keep the secret. But… I don't want to feel that pain._

The Force didn't answer with words, instead filling Obi-Wan with the truth that this was Obi-Wan's deicision.

The master weighed the matter as best he could, only dimly aware of Bant's arms around him. _The Force says these are matters of importance. And what is important to the Force is important to me. But to lose Qui-Gon… _He'd never considered how he would get along if his lover died. _I'd have the Force, and all the comfort It brings, but would that be enough? _The question rocked him, and at last he knew what he must do. He hugged Bant extra-hard and pressed his face into her soft white-blond hair. _If I am doubting my ability to let the Force comfort me, I don't trust enough. _Tears trickled down his cheeks. _Good-bye, Qui-Gon. I love you. Force, tell him when to come back._

A feeling of consent.

_Take the truth from me._

Obi-Wan blinked, drew back. "I felt… something… in the Force. About Qui-Gon. What is it?"

Bant met his gaze. "I think you already know." She cupped a hand against Obi-Wan's cheek. "He's dead."

Anguish like a tsunami's black wave crashed over Obi-Wan, drowning him. The strength to stand left him, and the young Jedi crumpled to the ground, still holding to Bant. Shock and panic warred with a brief, but intense, blaze of anger. Then both were swallowed by all-consuming grief. There was no thought of releasing it or indulging it for a time; he raised his eyes to the sky and screamed, eyes shut tight, clenched hands bringing up faint bruises on Bant's shoulders. "_Qui-Gon!_" He collapsed against her, sobbing, weak beyond measure, murmuring over and over, "Died in the Light Force. He died in the Light Force."

_Yes, _the Force told him, agreement that was more sensed than heard.

oOo

Gareth, Arnen, Nela and Adi Galia would be returning to Coruscant. Annie kept saying, "But he was fine a few minutes ago. He just said Qui-Gon was dead. Why is it different now?" Adi had an answer for her, but Annie wasn't ready to hear it.

Before they left, Gareth checked over Obi-Wan's ship to make sure it was still serviceable after all the years of disuse. When he was satisfied, he reported its condition to Ryn-yn. The two of them were standing a little apart from the quartet of Jedi who had gone through Temple together. "She's a little water-logged, and she's sunk a little since Obi-Wan arrived, but the thrusters will get her out just fine. And if that doesn't work, using the Force to lift her out of the mire, then to dry off essential parts will work for sure. And if nothing else, call us. We'll be glad to pick you up."

Ryn-yn's eyes were on Obi-Wan. He nodded, a frown darkening his features. "He's gone through so much, and yet the Force sees fit to heap this new burden on him."

"Makes me think of a crucible; heating up the pain, testing Obi-Wan. Purifying him and readying him for some final battle." Gareth sighed. "Are you sure you want to be the only senior master here? Arnen wouldn't like it if I sent him back alone, but I think he'd forgive me."

"I'll be all right." Ryn-yn closed his eyes for a moment. "Besides, I wouldn't mind talking to Obi-Wan about Qui-Gon for a while, when he's ready. I think such talk will heal us both."

"True enough." Gareth clapped a hand on Ryn-yn's shoulder, commanding his full attention.

Ryn-yn turned to him, meeting his gaze. "Safe journey, my friend."

"And to you. May the Force be with you." Gareth stepped back, folded his arms. "And may the Force bring you peace and comfort in this terrible time." He took another step, paused. "And please don't forget: we're only a call away. Anything you need, we'll give it. Just stay in touch. All right?"

Ryn-yn nodded. "We will. May the Force be with you as well, and may we both live to see the day when such pain as we bear will be healed and swept away."

"Yes. May that day come soon." Gareth headed for the ship. Arnen and Nela had already taken the corpse inside.

Adi was guiding Annie in that direction. She glanced at Gareth over the girl's head and mouthed, _All right?_

He nodded. It wasn't, and wouldn't be for some time, but Obi-Wan was in good hands here, and so was Ryn-yn. Gareth knew none of them would ever get used to death. It was easier to handle death with the Force, but they were each still feeling beings, with hearts that could be broken as well as filled.

When the ship was gone, Ryn-yn turned back to the quartet nearby. But before he'd taken a single step, his gaze was drawn to the tree behind them. The thing looked long dead, and moss hung all over it, but that didn't account for its general feel of _wrongness_. Many plants here were dead or dying. Such was the nature of wild swamps. Frowning, he stared fixedly at the tree, reaching out through the Force towards it. Something was definitely off. He closed his eyes, reached-

The tree lashed out at him. Not in the physical world, of course, but- _Force! _He'd had to make sure of that, opening and closing his eyes several times. Each time his eyes opened, the feeling retreated as if it had never been, then, when he closed his eyes, the tree reached out to him again. He stared at it fixedly, his Force-senses tingling. There! It happened again. Darkness poured from that tree like ink, groped like long fingers.

Ryn-yn shook himself, drew back into himself. Surely Obi-Wan knew about the tree; he'd been here long enough. But the child- Annie- had pointed to the tree as the place she'd hidden during the battle between Obi-Wan and Adee. IF Obi-Wan had known the tree was full of Darkness, he surely wouldn't have sent the girl in there.

Ryn-yn called the attention of quartet. Bant, Siri and Garen looked up at once, and, after a moment, so did Obi-Wan. "We need to move from here," the older master said. "This place isn't safe. Do you have a camp? How far is it from here?"

Obi-Wan swallowed, blinked, scrubbed at his eyes. "Just over that small rise," he rasped.

Ryn-yn saw where he was pointing and decided it was far enough away. "Let's get there."

The three other Jedi helped Obi-Wan to his feet, then, together, they started towards Ryn-yn. The older master didn't move until they were past him. Then he laid a hand on his lightsaber hilt and followed them. The tree didn't call after them, but Ryn-yn kept his senses tuned for its particular reach all the same.

oOo

Garen urged Obi-Wan to lean against him. He wrapped a blanket around Obi-Wan's shoulders and then called the other two young masters with a glance. Siri and Bant joined them, Bant bringing with her a half-full cup of tea. This she pressed into Obi-Wan's hands, curving his fingers around it because he seemed only half with them. For a long time, no one spoke. The three masters sat with Obi-Wan, watched the fire, and listened to the night birds and the peepers. On the other side of the fire, Ryn-yn sat up cleaning some little weapon and staring into the flames. His lightsaber lay beside him. He was expecting danger. For now, the others let him sense the danger and didn't reach out themselves. Obi-Wan's pain was too near, too fresh. They repressed their own pain and did all they could to bring him out of the half-fugue he'd descended into.

As the moon rose, peeking through the clouds now and then, Obi-Wan roused himself. He sipped the tea without seeming to taste it, then closed his eyes and leaned fully against Garen. "I didn't-" His voice broke and he took another swallow of tea. "I didn't know it would hit me this hard. Qui-Gon and I are closer than you think, but I thought I would be able to handle it. I thought the Force would carry me through anything. Even through loss. Isn't that supposed to be what the Force does? Comfort us and help us through everything?" He shook his head. "But maybe it's my fault. I formed an attachment stronger than anything I should have ever tried." He groaned. "But I don't regret it, all the years we spent together. I could never regret that. Even now. Maybe that means I will eventually heal." Another sip. "Force be with me. I miss my love. I want him back. I would anything but defy You to get him back. Give me peace, Force, and let me find peace somehow." His eyes closed, he held out the cup, and Bant took it. "Thank you," he murmured, perhaps to her, perhaps to the Force.

The Jedi masters exchanged glances, unsure if they'd heard what they thought they'd heard. Siri opened her mouth to ask, but both Garen and Bant shook their heads. As close as Obi-Wan and Siri had become in later years, this wasn't something a quick tongue should ask. Atfer a moment of silent debate-by-looks, Garen spoke. "Did you love Qui-Gon?"

Obi-Wan answered, his eyes still closed, his voice only half-there as if he scarcely realized he was talking, "Yes. More than anything except the Light Force. Yoda knew. The Council knew. Qui-Gon and I had to prove our love could be felt after our devotion to the Force was obeyed, that we would never let our love get in the way of the will of the Force in our lives. The Council at last believed us. We went to Ragoon 6 to work with Anakin and to teach other. I was ready at last to learn about the Living Force, and Qui-Gon was ready to learn about the Unifying Force. Our brush with Darth Maul taught us both how truly vulnerable we were. We went to Ragoon 6 to learn, to teach, and so I could have my daughter." He groaned. "Force help me, but she was beautiful, Annie. Not an easy birth, but at least this little one lived. And as to the call of the Dark Force, saying she is dangerous, that she is meant to fill some Dark purpose: I don't believe that one bit. Any child can be turned to Light or Dark; no child is born with his or her fate set in stone." He shrugged a little. "I guess that's why I at first doubted Qui-Gon's assertion that Anakin was born to be the Chosen One. Despite his high medichlorian count, I wanted to believe that anyone's fate could be followed or ignored, creating new destiny."

Siri's mouth opened and closed, and she looked from Garen to Bant to see if either of them had known anything about this. She saw her own shock mirrored on their faces, and she bowed her head for a moment, digesting all Obi-Wan was saying. She did this as fast as she could, trying not to miss anything, for, seemingly, he wasn't done yet.

"For be with me, even after the Dark Force started stalking me, even after it named me a target and tried to slay me or drive me away from the Light, I still refused to believe that she was dangerous. Even now, I know she can be kept away from the Dark Side, though she knows now that I'm her father-" he smirked- "mother, and Force alone knows what that will do to her." His eyes cleared for a moment, and he focused on Bant. "Do you remember when Bruck fell and died? Do you remember how terrible I felt? I felt as though I'd killed him, even though there was nothing I could have done, even though he tried to kill you."

She reached out and took one of Obi-Wan's hands. "You tried to bring him back to the light. I know you did." She glanced at the others.

"We all know you did," Siri said.

Obi-Wan smiled. "Thank you for that." Then his eyes went distant again. "It was hard on Bruck, knowing who his father was, knowing his father was powerful. It tempered his attitude, made him seek something he couldn't have at Temple."

"That didn't happen because Bruck knew who his father was," Garen said. "Bruck turned to the Dark Side because he sought it. Don't forget: what we do wit our knowledge, not the knowledge itself, is what determines our destiny." He rubbed Obi-Wan's back. "Don't forget that. You were the first one to among us to understand that lesson when Yoda taught it. Don't forget it now."

Obi-Wan frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Sure as I am that the Light Force is the right one to follow."

Obi-Wan pursed his lips, closed his eyes, then nodded. "I think you're right." He went completely still. "Then there is hope for her. I'm not wrong to hope." He smiled a little, shaking his head. "It's never wrong to hope, just wrong to let your hope push all other ideas out of your head. Without hope, we would fall to the Dark Force." He shivered. "If I didn't have hope that someday I would be allowed to stop serving as the Force's whore, I wouldn't be able to go on. I simply wouldn't have the strength. There's only so much anyone can bear." He blinked, looked at them, though he didn't really seem to see them so much as sense that he was being stared at in confusion and horror. "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you? It's part of being a target of the Dark Force."

As Obi-Wan explained himself, horror and grief ran between the four listening Jedi (Ryn-yn had been listening since the beginning). Bant unconsciously rubbed Obi-Wan's hand between her two, trying to ease the shivers that ran through him. Siri kept thinking, _That's why he was so reluctant to trust others. That's why he sometimes jumped after he returned from Telos. _Garen kept an unconscious tally: Obi-Wan was molested twice before he ever became Qui-Gon's padawan, then he was raped by two Jedi (the fact that one was a former Jedi didn't matter to Garen; he had _been_ a Jedi). He had a child by the second rapist (no lies did Obi-Wan tell now; he didn't have the strength or will), and was nearly raped again, this time by Adee, a member of the _Jedi Council. _Garen thought: _If I could ever find them all, I might just have to kill them, if only so Obi-Wan could sleep better at night. _Then, remembering that Xanatos, ber'Nac and Adee were already dead, and sensing the Light Force's displeasure with his thoughts, he released his anger and instead worried about what he could do to comfort Obi-Wan.

"I've been hiding all this from you," Obi-Wan said. "Partly because the Council didn't want Qui-Gon and I to tell anyone else, and partly because we'd kept things a secret so long we started relying only on each other for help. I'm sorry." He focused on them again. "I never met to push any of you away. Will you forgive me?"

"Easily," Garen said. "Why wouldn't we? You did what you thought was best at the time; none of those decisions can be changed. And you're telling us now, aren't you?" He caught the nod of approval from Siri, and decided to ask a question, hoping Obi-Wan was here enough to answer it, and hoping he wasn't opening any fresh wounds. "How do you want us to help you? We're here for you in any way you need."

Obi-Wan frowned, closed his eyes, seemed to drift away from them. When he came back, they all read the raw anger and anguish in his eyes. "Help me deal with everything I feel." He told them of what had happened to Anakin, then told them of being compelled by the Force to leave Anakin and go help Qui-Gon. "I went. Of course I went. Obedient Obi-Wan." He shook his head violently. "Of course I went."

"Don't talk about yourself like that," Bant whispered.

"Why not? It's true. I can't seem to defy the Force in anything, and when I do, it doesn't last long."

Siri's speech was clipped. "And what are you? A Jedi. And what is a Jedi? Someone who follows the Force first, not without attachments, but with the understanding that sometimes the Force asks us to give up the attachments we've made. You're doing the right thing, Obi-Wan, and that means having to reap the pain that comes with it. If doing the right thing was easy or even without serious pain, more Dark Force users would be Jedi. So don't question your following of the Force; much as it seems like a curse right now, it's a gift. If you couldn't follow the Force, or chose not to, how many thousands of people would die? Can you name any mission you've ever been on where leaving well enough alone would have solved their problems or guided them in the way of the Force?" He couldn't, and she knew it, but she still waited for him to say so.

"I can't," he said at last. Then, his eyes flicking from one to the next, "How is Anakin? Do any of you know?"

"He was unconscious when we left, but you could contact him now. Reeft stayed with him." Garen drew out his communicator and pressed it into Obi-Wan's hand.

"Wait." From Ryn-yn. "Make sure you can let go of all you feel, Obi-Wan, or Anakin will pick up on that, and I'm sure he'll need only support and love right now."

"He's not going to forgive me," Obi-Wan said. "I left him to Adee."

"Give Anakin a chance to prove you wrong," Ryn-yn answered at once. "You haven't been there to see him grow."

"Through no fault of my own!" Obi-Wan's eyes flashed.

"Don't yell at me, Master Kenobi. And if you can't control your temper or protect the injured parts of yourself, you aren't ready to contact Anakin. If you want, I'll do it so we can know how he is, but you need time to heal before I'll allow any talk between the two of you."

"I could simply reach out to him through our bond," Obi-Wan answered. "We can talk over long distances now." But he didn't close his eyes or disappear into the Force. Slowly, his high color faded and he took several deep breaths. "I'm not myself right now. Please contact him. I'll keep my mouth shut."

Ryn-yn drew out his comlink. "Ryn-yn to Reeft. Come in."

A moment, then, "Master Ryn-yn. I'm glad to hear your voice. How's Obi-Wan?"

"He's going to be fine. He'll be back on Coruscant in twelve days' time."

They could all hear the grin in Reeft's voice. "Thank the Force. Can he talk to Anakin?"

"Anakin's awake, then?"

"He's been so for the last ten or so hours. All of his injuries are healing well. He'll be up walking around by morning- about three hours from now. It might help him to sleep if he heard Obi-Wan's voice."

Ryn-yn started to tell Reeft that couldn't be arranged, then he saw that Obi-Wan was on his feet and gimp-walking around the fire, the need in his eyes overwhelming everything else. Sighing, Ryn-yn handed the comlink over. "Be mindful of your words," he whispered.

Obi-Wan nodded, settled himself beside Ryn-yn. "Reeft?"

"Force, it's good to your voice. How are you?"

"Not perfectly strong yet, but healing. Bant, Garen, Siri and Ryn-yn are here to help speed my recovery. May I speak to Anakin?"

"Obi?" The voice was quiet, nervous, maybe even frightened.

"I'm so sorry, Padawan mine. If I'd had any other choice, I wouldn't have left you. I had to follow the Force."

"Is it true what they're saying about Qui-Gon? Is he really dead?" The padawan's voice couldn't be read.

Obi-Wan didn't have the strength to try to analyze Anakin's voice; he assumed Anakin felt as he did, though less so, for obvious reasons. "He's gone. The Light Force has him now." Obi-Wan cleared his throat and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Forgive me; I'm still shaken by it."

"He died less than a day ago- how can you not be?" Anakin's voice was stronger now. "I'm all right, Master Obi. Reeft's been taking care of me. And he helped me. I'm not angry with you. The Force called you; all Jedi are supposed to answer that call." He hesitated.

"What is it, Anakin? Please let me help if I can."

"I'm angry with the Force. Why did it call you to save Qui-Gon and then not let you save him? The Force called you, let me get hurt, and didn't even let you save him."

"Many of the ways of the Force are a mystery. All we can do is trust. The Force knows more than we do, knows about past and present and future and guides us where we're meant to go." He swallowed, brushed away his tears again. "That doesn't mean we're not in pain, or that we don't question what happened and why, but as Jedi we have an ally: the same Force that confuses us and even lets us go through pain helps us with that pain and teaches us to be stronger for all that pain." He paused. "And don't worry about gaining trust in the Force; someday you'll either be given incontrovertible evidence that the Force can be trusted in all things, or you'll have to rely on the Force and no one else, and your trust will be established through necessity."

"How you get your faith? The Force hurts you-"

"Allows me to be hurt for Its galaxy-changing purposes."

"Fine. Allows you to be hurt, and yet you still trust it. Why?"

"You've asked two questions, Anakin. Why do I continue to trust? Because I've had too much evidence the other way, too much proof that the Force does the right thing for us, even when we don't believe it." He realized he was speaking Qui-Gon's words, and also that he firmly believed them. His faith had returned to the full-blossomed strength it had been before the Force retreated from him. Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan allowed several tears to fall. Then he cleared his throat. "I miss him," he whispered. "And you, Padawan mine. But my faith is kept alive by all that has gone before, and all that is yet to come. You, the Chosen One, are still alive, and you are still seeking the truth. That, too, is partly the Force's doing, though you always have a hand in your own destiny and attitude. You've taken this, I think, better than I ever have. Your strength is at least ninety percent your own, but ten percent is the sustaining thread of the Force that runs through you." He paused. "And I haven't answered your other question yet. My faith came from the second of those things I mentioned: necessity. I wanted so badly to be a Jedi, and yet could feel so little of the Force, that I clung to that little bit I could feel and dwelt on it, knowing that following the Force was the only way I would ever become a Jedi." He smiled. "You don't have that particular challenge, but you will have some challenge someday, and then your trust in the Force will become like bedrock. And when you have that trust, you'll be ready to bring the balance all Jedi hope for." He fell silent for a moment, then asked, "Am I heaping too much on your shoulders, Padawan mine? I don't know if I've ever told you what the prophecy means to most Jedi."

"Does it mean a lot to you, Master?"

"For me, the prophecy is less important than seeing you rise to your highest potential in the Light Force. I would be proud to have had a hand in the growth of the Chosen One, but I would be even more proud knowing you'd reached for the stars and gained some of them."

"You don't think I'll… fall back to earth?"

"Again, forgive me if I'm heaping too many things on your shoulders, but, no, I don't think you'll fall. You are Anakin, born of the strength of the Light Force, blessed with an inquisitive mind, a quick intellect, and tempered with a balance of strong convictions- there are very few passive Jedi; it just doesn't work that way- and good sense. I can't see you falling." A pause. "But if you ever did, I and others would always be here to catch you and help you rise again. And the Force would always be here to catch you."

"You aren't heaping anything on me. I can handle the responsibility. With help."

"I'll be home in twelve days. Until then, depend on Reeft."

"I have been. He's just like you said."

Obi-Wan chuckled. His pain was swallowed for a moment by mirth. "Truly? Have you seen both his sides, then?"

"Yes, Master. I got in trouble. He made me scrub an entire corridor with only a sponge and a bucket of water. To remind me that humility and obedience are hard work, but that I'll learn more about myself by practicing them, and so I'll be ready to learn about, and help, others."

"You memorized my little speech?" Reeft laughed. "This is quite a padawan you have, Obi-Wan. When he becomes a Knight, I'll be proud to say that I trained him for a few weeks."

"I know." Obi-Wan sighed. "Forgive me, Pdawan mine, but I must go back to meditation, or my time away from Coruscant may be extended. I'd like to be there for your seventeenth birthday."

"That's not for three months."

"Who says the Force might not keep me here that long if I don't do what I'm supposed to? I still need to let go of the anger I feel at Adee; that's going to take a day at least."

Anakin was quiet, then he said, "How do you let go of huge emotions like that? Reeft told me that some emotions have to be worked through instead of dispelled."

"And that's just what I'll be doing. I'll be dissecting the anger, then dealing with it piece by piece. That's why it will take so long. But the great benefit to spending time ridding yourself of one reaction means that reaction will have a hundred-fold harder time coming back the next time. More difficult and time-consuming than releasing other emotions, this will give me a purer connection to the Force and help me to understand myself better."

"I'll get you go, then." Anakin's voice dropped. "I miss you, Obi. I want you back here so desperately I can taste it."

"I know, Anakin. I know. I can do the same. Work as you have been, meditate, spend time working on your inventions. The days will pass soon and I'll be home."

"May the Force be with you."

"And with you. Try not to grieve, Padawan mine. The time will pass. You'll see."

Anakin closed the connection.

Ryn-yn put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulder. He took the comlink and clipped it back to his belt. "Now your real healing can begin."


	29. The Tree

**Author's Note:**

To all my readers:

In July of 2006, I attended the Romance Writers of America national convention in Atlanta, Georgia. While I was at the convention, I learned about the best way I write. There are two types of writers: seat-of-the-pants writers (affectionately called pantsers) and plotters. I learned then that I am, and have always been, a plotter. But I've been trying to do this story as a pantser, not planning out where the next chapter is headed or why. This story is going to end somewhere near or after _Return of the Jedi, _which means we have a long and exciting journey ahead. But I can't travel that road unless I take some time to plot.

Many times when there's a long time between chapters, it's because I've lost the story thread and have no idea where to go next. To find the thread again might take as much as a month. If I plot out the story, though, a process which will take as much as three weeks (possibly much less), I won't have any pauses like that, so chapters will come much more quickly. Also, if I plot the story, I'll be less stressed and worried from chapter to chapter.

There will still be surprises ahead for both you and me. Plotting doesn't mean I'll know everything, or that things won't change, but at least I'll have a road map, a time line, and a compass. Please don't ask me what's going to happen next because nothing is set in stone until each chapter is posted.

Thanks for reading this little epistle, and I hope you'll forgive me for the week-to-three-weeks' pause that's about to occur.

Estel Baggins

The Dark Force Lays PlansPg. 485

On DagobahPg. 504

The Tree, the Talk, and the PreparationPg. 525

The Tree, the Talk, and the Preparation

Six days later, Obi-Wan and Ryn-yn came to the tree that had all but shouted its connection with the Dark Force. Both masters looked older, and only some of it was due to grief and the lack of a 'fresher. Obi-Wan, at twenty-eight, wasn't done aging, apparently. His face a few lines it had lacked before he left, and both his eyes and his manner were more serious. Ryn-yn saw the changes more than Obi-Wan did, and the older master thought they were good changes. Obi-Wan still had humor (this he sensed more than saw) and nothing but trust and reliance had replaced Obi-Wan's earlier insecurity. The intensity all had sensed from Obi-Wan since he was fourteen was still there, but covered and tempered now with a Force-given calm that precluded his earlier mistakes in judgment. Not that say that he wouldn't make mistakes still, but he would make less due to rushing through something. And, regardless of what he thought, his arrogance (not readily obvious to a passing observer) was much diminished. He came off now as strong, solid, stolid, and serene. A Jedi closer to Yoda in model than to Qui-Gon, but just then, this was a comfort to Obi-Wan. He didn't want to emulate Qui-Gon too closely just then. So, in short, he'd done much of the growing he hadn't been able to do before because he'd been thrown from padawan to master with no time in between. His habits of meditation and seeking counsel, things he had (despite Anakin's impressions) given up a great deal, were allowed to return and grow.

He did retain one trait of Qui-Gon's: he'd been slowly growing in the area of interacting with other beings befe he came to Dagobah; now he excelled in this complex and many-faceted skill. Even in his grief, this was in evidence. Ryn-yn privately believed Obi-Wan would be called to settle more border disputes now.

The tree stood waiting for them, and even in the light of full day, it looked more like a cave than a tree. It was the gaping opening at the base that did this, and the shadows that descended the moment you entered. Ryn-yn's hand went to his lightsaber. He glanced at Obi-Wan and saw the younger master in a similar state of readiness. Ryn-yn didn't turn, but sensed the others gathered a short distance away. He'd asked them to wait, let he and Obi-Wan check it out. Not because he didn't trust them, but from a completely practical and slightly demanding position; they'd spent half their time here. Ryn-yn needed to know how close Obi-Wan was to healing, how much progress he'd made. Exploring the cave beneath the tree seemed as good a test as any.

As one, they approached the tree and entered.

The Dark Force slammed into them at once, and Ryn-yn felt his grip on reality slipping. He _knew _they were standing on Dagobah in a small root-made cave, but his senses and everything else that he was told him differently. He was standing on Coruscant, the Dark Force told him, and he could see but two things to do from where he stood on the high ledge of the Temple: jump into the nothingness of space, or allow himself to be swept off by the high wind. He couldn't step back. All behind him in the Temple were dead, and he had no honorable thing to do except jump.

A hand closed over Ryn-yn's shoulder, and he looked up, blinked, and saw Obi-Wan looking back at him. Ryn-yn turned his head, and saw the roots of the treea round them. Groaning, he muttered, "What was that?"

"It's like the Crystal Cave," Obi-Wan murmured. "Except I think this place might only send Dark images." He closed his eyes, and the tree around them shook with a Dark blast of energy. Obi-Wan winced, lifted his lightsaber before his eyes. The curtain of Dark Force whipped away from them.

Ryn-yn felt Obi-Wan's pure envelope of Light Force. The Darkness didn't even touch him, but backed off. Nodding, Ryn-yn realized that his questions about Obi-Wan had been answered. Obi-Wan ready to return to Coruscant. He laid a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder and the two of them backed out of the tree.

"I think you're ready to return to Coruscant. We'll meditate about it first, but-"

" No. I can't go yet. I need to go back in there. The Light Force has something to tell me." He clipped his lightsaber to his belt. "If I'm not back in half an hour-" he smiled a little- "leave me in there."

Ryn-yn gauged Obi-Wan's newfound strength against what he himself had sensed beneath the tree. Nodding to himself, he said, "All right. Be careful. We'll be monitoring your vitals."

oOo

Obi-Wan stood outside the tree for a moment, drawing the Light Force around him like a cloak and inside him like a strengthening draught. _Guard my thoughts, _he sent, _and show me what I must see. _He entered the cave below the tree, purposely leaving his hand off his lightsaber hilt. These were going to be visions, more than anything else, and visions could'nt be fought with a man-made weapon, even something so graceful and precise as a lightsaber. Instead, he opened his mind to the visions that would come, wondering, in the back of his mind, what it was Ryn-yn had seen.

He didn't bother to wonder why this tree had suddenly become like the Crystal Cave; he didn't need to know just yet.

A figure stepped out of the shadows. Swathed in black, with a black hood over its face, it stopped before Obi-Wan and raised a single-bladed, red lightsaber. "Welcome, General Kenobi," it said in a voice strangely robotic and buzzy. "Are you here for answers or for questions?"

"Both, I suppose. Who are you?"

"Someone you should know intimately but don't know at all. Much time has passed and any knowledge of this one that you had has been lost by the passage of time." The figure twirled its weapon. "I am the end of the Jedi."

"All Sith say that. What makes you so different?"

The figure laughed. "Ah, not so frightened, then! Good! I like a challenge. I like bringing arrogant Jedi to their knees."

"You stall, Vision. Will you answer me or no?"

"First, General Kenobi, a question for you. How well do you know those around you? Do you take the time to know them intimately, to learn from them, or are you simply repeating your old master's mistakes?"

Obi-Wan considered the point, but didn't concede it to the thing watching him. "I asked for questions as well as answers. Fair enough. But will you answer me straight? Who are you, and what makes you so different from other Sith who have tried to crush the Jedi?"

"I am born of the Force, not just of flesh and blood, as others before me have been. Darth Maul was only flesh and blood. I am Ultimate Power."

"Ultimate power resides in the Light Force. But you aren't of the Light Force."

"The Jedi are blind, refusing to see the power of the Dark Side."

"We see the temporary power, the power of mortals, but we also see that the Light Force transcends this mortal plain and overwhelms all things that are not of Its making." Obi-Wan settled into a meditative posture on the ground. "If you aren't going to answer any more of my questions, you may leave."

The Sith laughed. "See? Arrogance! All the Jedi and the Republic are arrogant, like children whose parents are wealthy, children born into privilege and expensive lifestyles. You don't think anything can touch you."

Obi-Wan didn't deign to reply. Instead, he closed his eyes and called on the Force.

"Hear one thing more before you banish me, General Kenobi."

Obi-Wan opened one eye. "Yes?"

"Mind you remember the message you were given concerning me. It is worth noting." A soft chuckle. "And, because I know you're burning with curiosity, I call you General Kenobi because by the time you see me like this, that is what you will be called, though perhaps only by a few."

"Thank you for that information. Which words do you speak of?"

The Sith laughed, a raspy, painful-sounding thing. "That would be telling. Be on your guard, General Kenobi. The world may end tomorrow, and you'll be left wondering why you didn't see the signs and help me before it was too late." The figure winked out of existence, leaving Obi-Wan alone until the tree.

He wasn't alone for long. Even as he sat, filing away all that information and wondering how much of it would come to pass, two figures flickered into existence before him. One he knew at once, though the Jedi Knight was still a padawan now: Anakin. After a moment, Obi-Wan recognized the other: Annie, older also, perhaps twelve or thirteen. The two had their lightsabers out, and appeared to be fighting. Both moved with uncanny grace, but both looked furious. Not a good way for two Jedi to behave. Obi-Wan tried to rise and intervene, but he couldn't move.

"You killed him," from Anakin. He shoved her back three steps. Their 'sabers crackled against each other. Obi-Wan noticed that Anakin fought with a green blade and Annie with a blue one.

"No," she said, and pushed hard against him, not gaining any ground. "You did. You didn't come when he called."

"I couldn't!" Anguish rode under the surface of Anakin's voice, and the tears in his eyes were obvious. They gleamed like jewels, highlighted by the glow of the lightsabers. "And you still killed him! You attacked him."

"If he'd been stronger in the Force, he would still be alive. Is it my fault that I was called by the Light Force to dispatch him?"

_The Light Force never orders death,_ Obi-Wan thought. _Not even-_

"The Light Force never tells anyone to kill. Even when we battle enemies, we try to spare their lives."

"Committing murder while you talk of Jedi honor. How typical." She drew back, then lunged, cutting at Anakin's head. The man ducked and blocked, grunting with the effort it took to keep the 'saber away from his face.

Obi-Wan's skin crawled. The words had come from Annie's mouth (_the vision of Annie,_ he reminded himself) but Xanatos had once spoken similar words to Qui-Gon. The Dark Force apparently still ascribed to this lie.

But seemingly Anakin was more prepared for this attack than Obi-Wan had been; he laughed at her, and some of the anger was covered by mirth. "You actually expect me to believe that? With Obi-Wan as my master? You're even more of a fool than I thought."

"He isn't your master anymore. He's dead."

Anakin's mirth vanished and the anger resurfaced. He leapt at her, engaging her at close range.

She panted as she fought. "He called for you in his last moments. Couldn't you feel what he felt? The pan was terrible, I believe. Bombarded with the Dark Force on all sides, and stabbed as well, I'm sure he was quite glad to die. I only hope he passed into the Light instead of giving up to the dark that was all around him."

"The dark _you _put there." Anakin tried to stab her, but she slipped aside, laughing.

Obi-Wan forced his lips open. It felt as though he was battling against a giant that sought to keep him mute. "Anakin, let go of your ange! Let it go! Seek peace!"

Anakin turned his head towards Obi-Wan and lowered his lightsaber.

Annie cried, triumphant, but before she could make the final stroke, she vanished.

Anakin crossed to Obi-Wan and knelt before him, taking Obi-Wan's hands in his. "I failed, Master. I failed you. She killed you, and I wasn't there to even ease your passing."

"Each Jedi has his time, Padawan mine. It was my time. Now my spirit is at peace. Let go of your anger. There are still many who need your help and protection. And there is still the prophecy to fulfill."

"I don't know if I can. I miss you too much."

"Every time you call on the Force, you will be calling on me." Obi-Wan wasn't sure if this was a vision from the future, a dream that had no basis in reality, or a test sent by the Light Force. Whatever it was, he could only answer honestly. "When you grieve for me and for yourself, reach out to the Force. The Force will comfort and cradle you. It will help you sleep at night and will help you rise in the morning to face each new day."

"That would work if you were any other Jedi, but I love you. I can't just forget you and move on."

And though Anakin had spoken of love before, now, for the first time, Obi-Wan knew what love his apprentice spoke of. His heart seized, and he clasped Anakin's hands in his. "I didn't know. Forgive me. I didn't know. How long have you been trying to tell me?"

"Years. I figured it out when you were Dagobah." Anakin wept. "Please, Obi… Do you love me? Even a little?"

Obi-Wan took the time to search his heart. "Right now, I am still on Dagobah. You look to have aged six or seven years. Time lies between us. Just now, I cannot think of loving another. Qui-Gon has just died." His throat closed. "Six days ago, that is. I can't think of loving anyone else right now. It's all I can do to keep going as I have, to stay in the Force and seek its strength and healing powers."

Anakin nodded, bowed his head. His hair, longer, and without the padawan braid, fell over his eyes. "I wish I could speak to you as you were just before she killed you."

Obi-Wan's heart tightened. "Are you sure she did it?"

"She admitted as much, and I felt it happen." Anakin's eyes, so much older than Obi-Wan could credit, were pools of sorrow. "I'm sorry she turned out this way. It isn't right that your child became a follower of the Dark Force." He drew back. "The space between our times is widening."

Obi-Wan felt it, and held to Anakin's hands. "As I grieve for Qui-Gon now, grieve for me: let the sadness have an outlet in tears or meditation or flying or however else it comes out, then seek to fill its place with the Light Force. Peace will come. Slowly, yes, but it will come."

Anakin moved forward, embracing Obi-Wan and kissing his cheek. "I guess that's the best I could wish for," he whispered. "I wish I'd told you sooner. Maybe we would have both been less lonely."

Obi-Wan felt his heart stir, but was too confused to know if it was love he felt, or only an echo of the love he felt for Qui-Gon trying to fill this new role. "Be at peace, Anakin. The Force will make all well. You'll see."

Anakin drew back. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and his voice broke when he tried to speak. He coughed, tried again. "Good-bye, Obi." He stepped back, and was gone.

_And is that it? _Obi-Wan asked the Force. His heart ached, and he wasn't sure how much more he could take. His only comfort was that Anakin's anger had been easily doused. To be replaced by grief, true, but doused. _Is that-?_

No; one more vision came to him, and Obi-Wan endured it because he must.

Five hundred Jedi, three-fifths of the Order, were murdered by soldiers in strange, white armor. Each soldier slew an unsuspecting Jedi, then went about its business. The Jedi fell, one after another, their cries of surprise and anguish mingling into one call to the Force for help and understanding. Obi-Wan saw some he knew, and his heart felt tight again. When he saw Bant go down, he wrapped his arms around his middle and dry-heaved, unable to bring anything up. He groaned and dry-heaved again as Siri, Garen, Ryn-yn… Stars! Mace, Adi Gallia, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Kit Fisto- all these fell before his eyes. And he couldn't even call to them as they died, each alone, each unable to know, and yet somehow knowing, that Jedi all over the galaxy were being slaughtered in this way. _Please, _Obi-Wan thought, _please, no more. Stop this. Save them! Don't let them die! Please! They are devoted to You! Stop this!_

_Balance must be achieved._

_How can you achieve balance with all the Jedi dead? Please, tell me this isn't- tell me this won't happen._

_I give no such promises._

The vision changed, showing Yoda in close contact with a thing made wholly of darkness. Obi-Wan strained to see who it was, but the hood hid the figure's face. He couldn't even know if it was male or female.

Then he was taken away, to a volcano planet where two Jedi fought against the backdrop of fiery spray. He knew not who these two were, but he felt drawn to one of these, as if it was himself in some unimaginable future. He groaned, tried to cover his eyes. He could not . _Please stop this. I can't bear it. Forgive my weakness, but I can't._

The vision faded, and Obi-Wan buried his face in his hands. He felt the tears coming, and let a few fall. He knew they were grieving-tears, but also tears born of confusion and a sense of loss that he couldn't credit. He called out to the Force to fill his heart, and it came, easing his shock and anguish.

_Do not forget, _It whispered. _Do not tell- not yet- but let it direct your actions._

Obi-Wan swallowed. He was being asked to rely on feelings and things he wasn't sure were facts. He knew this challenge had been sent to him to see if he could grow to shoulder the weight of responsibility. _If You are with me, I will._

Obi-Wan stood, swept the cave with his gaze, then turned and left. Outside, the other Jedi were gathered, and he read the anxiety in their eyes, even though Ryn-yn managed to hide most of his.

Bant pushed forward and hugged Obi-Wan tightly. She didn't speak.

"All's well," Obi-Wan said. "The tree now acts like a focusing chamber. I don't know if it is a chamber that sends visions or our worst fears, but it is a chamber nonetheless. Jedi might be sent to study it. This could be another strengthening-place for us."

"I doubt it's a good place," Ryn-yn said. "The Dark Force flows out of it like a red tide."

Obi-Wan hadn't felt that, though he knew the Dark Force resided there. But he didn't gainsay Ryn-yn, thinking this might be part of what he wasn't meant to tell. "Whatever it is, it changed while Adee was here."

"Did he cause it?" Bant asked.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say anything was possible, but then stopped. His heart said otherwise, and after a moment he knew why. "I doubt it. Something was wrong with Adee when he showed up here, and it got worse as we talked. It started out that I was fighting Adee, but by the end… Adee had no will of his own, I don't think, or what will he had was swallowed in fear."

"Was he afraid of you?" This from Siri, whose gaze kept sliding towards the tree. Her distrust of the dead vegetation was obvious.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Again, I doubt it. He was driven, by his fear, to attack me, but even when he did at last strike, he said…" He frowned, pulling the memory into focus. " 'Tell Zee to stay in the Light. Watch for her.' At first, I thought he meant 'Watch for him,' as in, protect Zee, and that he was too confused by pain to speak right. But now, it's as if I almost know who he meant." With a sigh, he shook his head slightly. "Whatever he was saying, he wasn't under the influence of the Dark Force when he died. I felt it lift from him and disappear. But I can't say he died in peace, either, because I didn't have a chance to promise I would talk with his brother."

"How he died isn't something you can control now," Ryn-yn said at last. "For now, tell us if you accomplished what the Light Force called you to do."

"With a little resistance on my part, yes. It was… discomforting. But the Force assures me I saw what I was meant to see." He glanced at the tree for the first time since leaving its darkness. For a breath, Anakin stood in the doorway, Anakin without his braid, and looking so much older. Then he was gone, and Obi-Wan set the vision aside. "I think I'm ready to return to Coruscant." His need to see Anakin was nearly a physical ache. Then he realized that he not only wanted to confront Anakin about the boy's feelings, but also because he, Obi-Wan, wanted a trusted shoulder to cry on. Slightly appalled at his own lack of control, he closed his eyes and called the Force around him. "Maybe not just yet. I still miss Qui-Gon too much. Chances are, Anakin will need me to be strong when I return. I can't dump all this grief on him." He laughed softly, brushed at the tears that had escaped. "As equal as our relationship was before I left, I could never ask him to comfort me."

"Why not?" Bant asked. "You comforted Qui-Gon when Master Tahl died." Her voice had cracked a little, showing that she still missed her first master.

"Maybe those two aren't so different," Obi-Wan murmured, "but Anakin's so much…" He stopped. "He isn't younger than I was. He's older." He shook his head again. "I keep thinking of him as fourteen."

"He's definitely not that," Ryn-yn said. "He had over two years where he learned little more than how to frustrate the teachers at Temple, but I hear he's gained much of the ground he lost under Reeft's tutelage."

"We always knew Reeft would make a good master." Obi-Wan frowned, looking around at all of them. "Should I go back, then? Let him see me this way?"

"What way?" Siri asked. "As you really are? That's sounds dangerously close to pride, Master Obi-Wan." Her eyes danced, but the set of her jaw left no doubt as to her concern for him.

"I told Anakin that he, Qui-Gon and I had something in common: we're all arrogant. And here I come up against the truth of that." He nodded. "We'll fly back." He glanced down at his earth-stained, slept-in, torn, falling-apart robes and laughed. "And if showing up at Tmeple like this doesn't give my pride a good kick in the teeth, nothing will." He swared his shoulders, met Ryn-yn's gaze. "I'm ready to return." Implied in that simple statement was a question: Do _you _think I'm ready?

Ryn-yn took a moment to consider. Then, looking at the other three Jedi behind Obi-Wan, he said, "You're closer to Obi-Wan than I am. What do you think?"

"None of us have ever been in love," Garen said. Then, with a shake of his head, "At least, not been in love and had it returned and approved." His eyes were on Obi-Wan. "When you go back, I want your word you'll meet with one of us often until your grief starts to ease a little. The Dark Force has gained ground, and not just outside the Republic, but even in the Senate. Corruption there is rampant, and I can't imagine standing with so much pain in a dark universe without some help. Anakin will help you, and so will Yoda, but I'd feel better if you came to us, too. Please understand that I trust you, no matter how this sounds. But so much has changed in almost three years. I can't figure out how to talk to you about it. You'll just have to see it for yourself. But will you come to us?"

Obi-Wan's skin crawled. "It's that bad? Things have changed so much?"

"There are barely enough Jedi to keep the peace, and new battles rise every day."

"Then I definitely need to get back. I can't afford to be isolated here anymore."

"You can afford whatever the Force says you can afford," Ryn-yn told him. "Don't forget the lessons you've learned here, Obi-Wan. You can't afford to forget them. We need you; it's true. We need all Jedi. But you were sent here not just to heal, but to gain wisdom and insight. We need a cool head and a questing heart more than we need another lightsaber."

Obi-Wan took a breath, letting his anxiety seep away. "Strange how I've spent all this time learning and yet I ignore all that." He closed his eyes once more, and a single thought crossed his mind: _I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a child of the Light, am a great Jedi._ He looked around at all of them again, but held Garen's gaze the longest. "I will come to you once a week while I'm at Temple. Is that enough?"

"I'd prefer twice a day, but I'll settle for four times a week."

Obi-Wan looked at the other two he'd gone through Temple training with and saw no surprise in their eyes. They'd obviously talked about this. "All right. I agree. Just so understand that Anakin's training is more important than my comfort."

"If you aren't healed, you won't be able to help Anakin," Siri said.

Garen glanced at Bant, and Obi-Wan looked to her too, wondering what she would say.

For a long moment, she was silent, her eyes bright with sorrow. When she mustered herself to speak, she said, "It isn't right that the Jedi are hiding things from each other. We're giving the Dark Force a front door it can walk right through. I'm not angry with you for keeping your love a secret for so long, but I'm afraid for the Jedi. We're going to lose the trust we've established. I'm afraid to trust the Council now. You and Qui-Gon have been together for so long… How could they keep that a secret from the rest of us? We're supposed to trust each of their decisions, and sometimes there isn't time for explanations; we do what they tell us because they are wiser. Supposedly. But lying to us? How could they condone that, participate in it? And what are we supposed to do? Accept it? To what end? What else are they hiding from us?" She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. "If this was a crew of a large ship, I would maybe try to ask this question of all the other non-Council members, maybe try to change things that way. But we can't repay their lies with subterfuge. We'll collapse if we do that. And the galaxy needs us too much right now."

Obi-Wan had never thought of this side of the secrets he'd been keeping, but at once he saw what she meant. Taking a step forward, he put his hands on her shoulders. "We'll face the Council together when we return. Then we can ask them about the secrets. I'm sorry for the role I played in this. I was just so relieved to be allowed to love Qui-Gon that I never thought how it would effect others if the secret got out. And you might be right: this secret, and others like it, if there are others, are the open door the Dark Force wants. Maybe that's why things have gotten so rough in the last two years." He squared his shoulders, dropped his hands. "We will talk to the Council."

She smiled, wiped at a tear. "Forgive me. I wouldn't be so emotional, I don't think, if I wasn't half in love myself." She bowed her head. "We've never done anything, Reeft and I, but…" She shrugged. "But we might if we knew there was a chance for us."

"We can't try anything- any of us- if we can't establish the Force as the leader of our hearts and minds," Garen said.

"That's what we've been doing all our lives," Siri said. "If the Force isn't the true master we follow now, then it never will be." She held up her hand. "I'm not saying we need to start kicking Jedi out- Force knows we need every one- but it's time we were trusted to know ourselves. Jedi should be made to earn the right to love, like they earn their Knighthood or the right to become a Master."

"That's not for us to decide," Obi-Wan said. "It's for the Council. This is a mistake they've made because, like us, they're fallible. It's wrong for us to start second-guessing them on everything because they misjudged here. Even Yoda isn't perfect. And maybe their allowing Qui-Gon and I to love was a step towards letting others love. Things change so slowly in any ancient culture, and never forget that we are our own culture, and, until now, the traditions we have followed- more traditions than rules- have worked for us. The Council is right in this: it's easy to forget your priorities when you're in love. You look at the person you love, and all the meditation in the world won't keep you from trying to protect him until the Force has to step in and reorient you." He met each gaze. "I allowed myself to be raped, allowed myself to become a slave, in the name of love." He thought, _Annie is now alive because I allowed myself to be raped. _He closed his mind to that thought; even though true, it sounded as though he didn't trust or love Annie, and he did.

_Trust and love are two very different truths, Obi-Wan Kenobi._

The Force again, speaking truth, as always, and Obi-Wan allowed the thought to come back to him. He decided to set it aside for now, meditate on it later, but in no way forget it.

"We shouldn't worry about the logistics now," he said. "We'll talk to the Council, and go from there." He smiled a little, thinking, _I've learned to take things one thing at a time, to let things come when they come. _A stab of pain. _As Qui-Gon said I one day would. _Turning his gaze to Siri, he asked, "Any words of wisdom?" Half-teasing, because she _always_ had words to give.

She smiled at him. "Not today. I'd like to get to Coruscant, talk to the Council, and help you continue your healing." She reached up, touched his hand. "Everything will be fine," she whispered. "Your pain will ease."

Having her say that brought him closer to breaking down than he had been in days, and he thought she knew it. Was this her way of giving him one last chance to cry here, with them, away from the Temple, where he would always be striving to be an upright Jedi? Obi-Wan guessed this was true, and took a step forward. "May I?" he asked, and the tears welled up, hot and ready to fall.

She opened her arms to him, and he went to her. Around him, the others closed, hugging him, holding him, comforting him. He sank to his knees and the loving arms of his friends held him.

As he crouched there, sheltered, a thousand memories swept over him. With each, he shed a few tears, and, though each memory was happy or sad, he tried to smile. He already longed for the day when he could look back on his life with Qui-Gon and feel more joy than pain. Despite his smiles, it was all pain now. He thought once, _Force, I won't be able to take this. I won't be able to move on._

The Force didn't answer, but the arms around him tightened, and Obi-Wan drew strength from them.

They set out for Coruscant four hours later.

oOo

He had no one to hide behind now, no one to stand with him. And his grief consumed him, drowning him, making it impossible for him to feel the Force, Light or Dark, and impossible for him to do more than what Yoda and the other members of the Council asked. Zee knelt in their midst because he lacked the strength to stand, and wept. "I only thought of keeping him alive," he said over and over, and for close to an hour, he was allowed to tell things as he would. The semi-circle of Jedi sat around him and didn't so much as stir, letting him confess all without interruption.

This was the story as they learned it during that hour: Zee and Adee were twins, not brothers, and thus, as twins, were able to protect each other through a bond that had nothing to do with the Force. The bond had existed since infancy, and they'd used it since then. To protect each other and themselves. But it wasn't only the bond that had kept their doings secret from Yoda. Yellowish eyes were a symptom of the Dark Force, but any yellow cast was completely hidden in their naturally-yellow eyes. And the redness that came to humans who used he Dark Force obviously didn't show on these two.

It came out at that time that Adee had accosted Obi-Wan during the younger Jedi's Trials, attempting to rape him. Adee had been watching Obi-Wan for years, but he was never far from Qui-Gon, and the risk was too great. Zee kept saying that Adee wasn't a fool, that he could control his lust in the sight of great gain. But, Zee also said, Adee had lost his reason for a time, giving up all caution for one chance at Obi-Wan. "I think now that Adee was moved by the Dark Force and not by his own desires," he said.

Then, moving on, Zee told of Adee's newfound 'calling' on Rept'thik. His brother had even been in contact with something Dark, a Sith, Zee had believed then and still believed. "I couldn't tell you. If I did, you would banish Adee from the Temple and I would have no chance to save him. Or if you only jailed him, the effect would be the same because confinement would destroy his soul and his sanity." He warned Adee, but owed to protect his brother for as long as he could. "And the same bond that kept you from sensing how close Adee was to the Dark Side kept you from sensing my lies. I could make them flawlessly, granted I meditated beforehand so that I could deliver them calmly. I was still seeking the Light Force, but it was harder because I was lying. Still, I called on the Force every day to save my brother and myself, and to forgive us, and move you to forgive us once we were discovered."

Yoda spoke for the first time then, because Zee seemed to be looking for kind words. Yoda had none to give just yet. "Why assisted did you in the rape of Anakin Skywalker?" If you struck flint against his voice, you would have gotten a spark.

Zee looked down at the floor, and didn't raise his eyes to answer. He seemingly couldn't. "I helped because… I don't know. I even used the Dark Force to keep Obi-Wan away from Anakin, but I don't know why I did it." He chewed his lip. "No. I'm lying again. I did it because Obi-Wan could have killed Adee with the amount of raw Light energy he was putting out. He wouldn't have killed Adee with anger- that Adee could have channeled- but with pure Light, as if Obi-Wan _was_ the Light Force. That's how strong it was." He bwoed his head and was silent.

A glance passed among the Council members; they all had the same question on their minds: what should they do with Zee? Clearly, he'd strayed into the Dark Force, and had been aiding and abetting another Dark Force user. But he was also obviously grieving and in agony. What could they do to him that would help him and guide him back to the Light? Without asking, they all knew that a long sabbatical wasn't the answer. Not only did they need every Jedi, but it was no longer safe for a Jedi at half strength to be aout alone. After half a minute of silent deliberation within themselves, each turned his or her eyes to Yoda and waited.

"Grave all this news is," Yoda said. "Grave indeed, and even more so because hidden it was for years, since… Whyen?" He looked at Zee. "How long tempted by the Dark Force has your brother been?"

Zee winced. "Since we were nine or ten. I don't know where his first idea to pursue the Dark Force came from, but that's when he started actying strangely and asking me to protect him. After a while, he stopped asking, and I just did it for him."

Yoda nodded and _hmmphed_ quietly. "Propose this measure and guard I do; meditate in the Temple you will, working with your hands to tend the gardens and to prepare food. Under the surveillance of two other Jedi you will be at all times. Guide your thoughts and meditations down the proper path they will." He looked to the rest of the Council. "If protests you have, speak now."

There were none.

Yoda nodded, rose, hobbled over to where Zee still knelt. "Look at me."

Zee raised his head. Misery swirled in his gaze, and it took him several moments before he was able to look right at Yoda.

"Seek after the Light you must, or lose you we will. If fail in this protective probation you do, confined you will be. Understood this is?"

Zee seemed to weigh his words before he spoke. "I understand."

"Assign Jedi to you I will soon." Yoda stepped back. "For now, escort you to your room and abide with you there for a time Master Gareth and his padawan will." Yoda rturned to his seat while Mace contaced the revered master. Gareth appeared less than five minutes later, and together he and Arnen got Zee on his feet and escorted him from the Council Chamber.

When the Council was alone, Yoda addressed them. "Three concerns we have, and deal with each today I believe we must. The first concern was brought to me by Master Gallia." He turned his eyes to her. "Master, will you speak of your concerns?"

She rose and began to pace, making shapes in the air as she talked. "The Senate is corrupt. We know this. But there are many Senators who are loyal to the ideal of the Republic. And many Senators will return to the straight and narrow way if they have someone accounting for their actions. In years past, long before many of us were born, there was such a person, a Security Officer by name. But such can be led astray. What I propose is to have two Attendants who will monitor the Senate for corruption: one chosen by the Senate, the other a Jedi." She sighed. "I'm not denying this is a radical idea, and one that will meet opposition in the Senate, but the Jedi are meant to be protectors, and sometimes that means protecting the machine that keeps the Republic moving, not just the citizens in the Republic. If many of those citizens are well for a time, but the Republic falls, there won't be anything left. Corruption has run rampant since Chancellor Volorum resigned. It is past time that we argued for a new chancellor, but the first step is to try and stop the corruption, or at least slow it." Again, a sigh. "I need to know your thoughts on this. Am I assuming too much, or is this something that could work?"

"We won't win any popularity among the politicians," Kit Fisto said, "so we mus be ready for challenges, as you say. If we had Chancellor Palpatine on our side, it would be easier. If we can propose it to him, maybe all would be well." He frowned. "But we would already have to come with a Jedi in mind, and agree to let him choose the Senator."

"A few ideas for Jedi I would like," Yoda said.

"Not someone on the Council," Mace said at once. "We still must guard our own growing Jedi."

There were murmurs of agreement around the room. Adi Gallia had returned to her seat, and she, too, nodded. Then, softly, "If he were still alive, I would recommend Qui-Gon, because even if he detests politics, he wouldn't take any grief from anyone."

The Council paused to let the specter of grief pass over them. Then Ki-Adi-Mundi suggested, "Ryn-yn. He has a good head for diplomacy on his shoulders."

The others nodded thoughtfully.

Six other suggestions were brought up, mostly older masters who had been around the block a time or three. Then, when there seemed to be no further thoughts as to a master, Yoda said, "Suggest, I would, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

A long silence, then Adi Gallia said, "He is the most like Qui-Gon out of those we've mentioned." She frowned, nodded to herself. "But we need to know how he's changed since Dagobah. And Qui-Gon's death may have changed him in bad ways."

"When returns he does, speak with him we all will. Keep the rest in your thoughts I ask you to, but add him to the list if you will." Yoda resettled himself. "Takes care of two of my concerns that does, since start thinking about Jedi to take the task I wished us to. So the last this is; find a Council member to take Master Zee's place we must. Ryn-yn my thought is, and that is why reject him from the task in the Senate I would."

The others nodded. "He would be my first choice," Kit Fisto said.

"And mine as well," said Shaak Ti."

"A general vote I put this to," Yoda said. What say you?"

The vote came out unanimous. "Then agreed we are," Yoda said. "Then dismissed you-"

The communicator that was connected into the Council Chamber beeped, and Mace reached over to tap it. "Council," he said.

Ryn-yn's face appeared. "The Force has given us permission to leave Dagobah. Obi-Wan will be returning with us. We will arrive in ten hours."

Mace nodded, but it was Yoda who spoke. "Obi-Wan may I speak with?"

Obi-Wan took Ryn-yn's place. He was rough around the edges; stains and tears adorned his cloak. But his eyes were clear, and even through the electronic connection, all could see the strength of the Light Force shining in his eyes. Not that his face was untroubled, nor unmarked by grief. His eyes just glowed with the new knowledge he'd gained. "Masters." He bowed.

"Returning you are. Inform your padawan do you wish me to?"

"Yes, Master. Will he greet us on the platform?"

"Many there will be to greet you."

"As soon as we're settled, Master, Bant, Garen, Siri and I would like to speak with you."

Yoda pondered this, nodded. "Very well. Once settled you are, speak we will. Near sunset our meeting can be. Fourteen hours away that is."

"That will be plenty of time. Thank you, Master."

"May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Master." Obi-Wan closed the communication.

oOo

Anakin and Reeft were working through three sets of stretching exercises, getting the blood flow back into Anakin's limbs. The exercises also worked to distract him from the little pain that still remained. And they kept his mind busy. A combination of stretching, half-meditation and telekinesis, they occupied Anakin completely. Which was, incidentally, another bonus. Last time the two of them had heard, Obi-Wan would be returning in six days; Anakin needed much distraction to keep him from wanting to go back again and again to make sure the quarters he shared with Obi-Wan were completely straight.

The comlink in Reeft's quarters buzzed, and the master rolled out of a Nubian Twist and to his feet. He crossed the room and touched the sensor. "Reeft here."

"Yoda this is. Good news have I."

Anakin had already regained his feet, and he was striding to stand by Reeft.

"Returning to Coruscant Master Obi-Wan is. Arrive within ten hours he will."

Reeft felt Anakin's sudden tension, and he hurried to speak. "Thank you, Master. May Anakin and I meet him at the platform?"

"Many Jedi will meet him. Welcome you are. Do you believe that able to greet him Anakin would be able?"

Anakin practically hopped in place, but when he saw Reeft's eyes on him, he stilled.

"He'll be able, Master Yoda."

Anakin took a step closer to Reeft and said, in a clear, calm voice, "Thank you for the honor, Master."

"Welcome you are. See you in ten hours I will." The connection closed.

Anakin gave a whoop and did three back flips in rapid succession. When he was on his feet again, he shouted again and did a forward roll, coming up into a crouch. He sprang up, clearing a full three meters off the floor. He nearly bumped his head on the ceiling, but avoided this by bowing his body so that he was staring up at the ceiling. He pushed himself bck in midair, using the Force, and landed in a handstand facing away from Reeft. He walked backwards towards Reeft, then curled down, slowly, into another crouch. Then he rose, grinning and trying hard not to do another stunt like that. Even though he knew he wasn't going to hurt himself, he thought he might get a lecture for such extreme moves after being in bed.

Reeft chuckled. "So, I take it you missed hi."

Anakin's grin widened, but he couldn't quite speak. He sent, _Ten hours! _then sank into a meditative posture. His hands were shaking, and the last thing he could think of doing was sit and wait, but he was conscious that he was not only reflecting Obi-Wan's training now, and Reeft's as well, but that he was earning the right to welcome Obi-Wan. He wouldn't risk losing that.

Reeft nodded his approval. "If you can remain focused, why don't we spar for a while? There will be plenty of time to shower and ready yourself." He held up a hand as Anakin started to rise, and the padawan subsided. "The next ten hours are going to be a challenge for you. I bet you can feel it."

Anakin nodded.

"Just keep reminding yourself that you won't be able to make time go any faster by worrying about it." Reeft gestured, bidding Anakin to rise. "Will you spar with me, Anakin?"

Another nod.

oOo

The first hour of lightsaber training went slowly. The second crawled. And though Anakin was starting to tire, he refused to stop, knowing he would do nothing but lay on his bed and stare up at the ceiling. So he fought on, challenging Reeft and anyone else who happened to be there. Annie's class of younglings came to try their skill, and by the third hour, Anakin was able to teach as well as let out his own energy. But even in the midst of teaching, he couldn't focus. He was deeply aware of the fact that some Jedi could teach, and some even loved it, but some weren't meant for that calling. He knew he was one of those.

Near the end of the third hour, Reeft called Anakin to his side, and bid Anakin sit down. Anakin did, but his foot twitched, and he only stilled it with the greatest effort. He met Reeft's eyes and tried to keep the need from his own.

"I think we've had enough sparring for one day. Just now, I'd like you to return to our quarters, stretch out your muscles, spend a little time in the 'fresher, then meet me at the south entrance to the Temple." He took a step back. "I'll see you in no less than twenty-five minutes. If you're earlier, I'll suspect you haven't stretched properly and I'll make you scrub three floors and stretch for an hour. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Master." At least he had regained control of his voice. "But why do you-?"

"You'll see. Oh, and when you come out of the 'fresher, don't worry about dressing for anything special. It's not time for that yet." He turned and strode form the room.

Anakin waited a full thirty seconds, then bolted in the other direction, jogging to the quarters he shared with Reeft. _The quarters I won't be sharing tonight, _he thought. He had a sudden urge to transfer those of his things that he'd taken from the quarters he'd shared with Obi-Wan and return them there, but resisted. Instead, he forced himself, just in case Reeft reached through the Force to check on him, to stretch for fifteen minutes. While he did this, he discovered that his muscles had begun to cramp up, and he was glad for the stretching instead of seeing it as a burden. He didn't even need anything else to occupy his mind during that time, because he was amazed at how his muscles responded to him, and how long it took for him to work thorugh them, heal them, make them move normally.

With this done, he went to the 'fresher. When he was under the water, thogh, his mind started running in circles. He could barely stick on one thought. He would wonder, _Is this how Obi felt when Qui-Gon was returning to Coruscant? He hid it well. _Then his mind would jump to, _Qui-Gon won't be coming back. What if coming home hurts Obi? How do I help him? _And on to, _What am I going to say? I know I have to say the traditional greeting, but what after that? Will he be glad to see me, or will he miss Qui-Gon so much he won't even see me? _More: _How am I going to confess to him that I love him now that Qui-Gon is gone? _Behind that, pain, the first sharp one, brought on by this thought: _Qui-Gon is really gone. He won't be here to help Obi-Wan. He won't be here to smile at Obi-Wan. Who's going to chase away Obi's nightmares? _These were rare, and usually Obi-Wan could wake himself up from them, but he never kept his mind shielded at night in case Anakin needed him. Then the padawan thought, _The nightmares won't be a problem. Qui-Gon hasn't been here for them in a long time. I'll just do what I've always done, what Obi-Wan does when I have a nightmare: I'll send the Light Force to him. And if that doesn't work, I'll go in and lie next to him until he feels better. _His cock stirred, and Anakin groaned. _And no matter what happens, even if I admit I'm in love with him, I can't come on to him. Not until he's healed from losing Qui-Gon. And not until he sees me as the adult I am and not the fourteen-year-old I was when he left. _Instinctively, Anakin knew this might be a problem. Even Jedi who saw him often still treated him as thought he was a small child; how much more would Obi-Wan, who had been gone for over two years, see him as a child? _I'll just have to talk him out it. I can do that. I can._

And so his thoughts went, until the clock he'd set in the other room told him it was two minutes before he had to meet Reeft. Surprised that he'd wasted eight minutes in his racing thoughts, Anakin jumped out of the water, shut it off, toweled himself dry and got dressed. He ran a comb through his hair, then started at a fast walk to where Reeft was waiting.

He was less than a minute late, but still, at firsr, he thought he didn't see Reeft. Wondering if the older Jedi had left without him, Anakin started towards the outside. But just before he could feel the wind on his face, Reeft called from behind him, "Ah, so you're here. I'm sorry. I got caught up in something."

Anakin stared at him. "You weren't waiting here to make sure I didn't show up early?"

"I figured I could trust you." Reeft moved to stand behind Anakin, shielding his eyes from the sun. "We'd better get started. We have a lot of ground to cover before ObiWan arrives." He started off at a brisk walk.

Anakin caught up with him just as he extended a bridge from one platform to he next further down. "SHouldn't we take a speeder? I mean, if we're pressed for time…"

"You still have energy to burn, don't you?"

Anakin nodded.

"Well, and the places I want to go aren't far from here. We'll be back in plenty of time for you to get ready- if you have any last-minute things that need to be done." He pointed further south. "And if we traveled by speeder, we'd have a beast of a time getting parking. Most of these shops are small and privately-owned. No large parking lots. But it's the small shops," he said, dropping his voice conspiratorially, "that sell the things you really need."

"What do I really need?" Anakin felt as though he must be missing something obvious, but he couldn't remember Reeft talking about the reason for their excursion. _And if I was supposed to figure it out, I missed it._

Reeft showed no surprise that Anakin hadn't deduced the purpose of their mission. "I just thought you might want to have a few things to welcome Obi-Wan home with. One for a welcoming present, and maybe one to give him good memories of Qui-Gon. For awhile, he's going to need all the good memories he can get. It's normal for each of us, when a close friend dies, to try and beat ourselves up over the hundred small slights and misunderstandings of a long relationship. What Obi-Wan truly needs are reminders of the good things he shared with Qui-Gon."

That made sense, and, for now, Anakin wasn't thinking about replacing Qui-Gon; he only wanted Obi-Wan to feel better. He smiled at reeft. "What do you think he'd like?"

Reeft shook his head. "I'm not his padawan. You are. I knew Obi-Wan in his formative years, during the time when he was impulsive sometimes and occasionally way too hard on himself. But you've known him since he grew to Knighthood and became a master; you'll know more of what touches him now than I would. And you'll know what gives him comfort."

_Comfort. _That single word touched off a memory, and Anakin said softly, "Rocks. If I could find a rock like the one Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan… It doesn't have to be Force-sensitive, just a rock that reminds Obi-Wan of something the two of us have been through, something we had to work together to get through…" He nodded, frowning. "But where can I find rocks? I don't want anything very polished or glitzed up; it needs to be just an ordinary rock." He looked at Reeft. "Is there a shop around here that sells rocks?"

"Within easy walking distance. Come on."

They made good time across the air bridges; soon the two Jedi were three kilometers from Temple. Anakin didn't complain about the walk, but he kept glancing up at the sky to make sure they weren't taking too long. Reeft had given him a task to occupy his thoughts, and he was grateful for that, but the passage of time still weighed heavily on his shoulders.

At last, Reeft veered off their straight shot south. He ducked so quickly into a shop that Anakin might have lost him if he hadn't been expecting a turn all along.

The shop was beautiful inside, made of synthetics that looked like real ceramics and earthenware. Anakin felt as though he was on Tatooine, but a part of his home planet that he'd never seen before. He followed Reeft to the back of the store, his eye drawn to the shelves and shelves of stones. He couldn't believe anyone made a living from selling stones, but seemingly that was what was done here. Ahead of him, Reeft stopped before a counter and tugged on a little bell cord.

Half a moment later, a being less than two feet tall and the same color as the earthen walls popped up before Reeft. The being sat on the counter and grinned. "Welcome, Reeft Knight!" The voice sounded female, but Anakin wasn't sure.

"Caala Shopkeeper," Reeft answered, bowing. "This is my young friend, Anakin Padawan. Anakin, this is Caala Shopkeeper. She is the best trader of stones on Coruscant, and, just possibly, the whole Republic."

"We're here to find a stone for my master," Anakin said when a brief silence stretched out.

Caala laughed. "I hardly thought you were here in search of flowers!" She gestured. "I sell all types of stones: natural ones, artificial ones, ones with engravings (all types) and stones of every color."

Anakin glanced around. He feared he wouldn't know what he was looking for until he saw it, but he also knew he didn't have time to inspect each stone. Closing his eyes for a moment, calming his racing heart, he tried to think what he wanted. Obviously, no artificial stones would be used. Ditto stones in bright colors. He wanted this to be a comfort-stone, something that would be easy for Obi-Wan to carry or conceal when needed. He thought of asking if Caala had any Force-sensitive stones, but then he thought that was too close to what Qui-Gon had given. While it might bring comfort, it might also hurt Obi-Wan. He wouldn't risk that.

Frowning, he opened his eyes and shook his head. "I don't know what Obi-Wan would like. I want to comfort him- a close friend of his died recently- and I want to let him know that I'm here for him, that I'll always be here. And so will the Force." He held up a hand. "But no Force-sensitive stones. That's the gift his friend gave him, and I don't want to risk hurting him." He shrugged, helpless. "I don't have the time to look through everything, but I don't know where to start."

Caala shifted, sat forward. "The right color is a good place to start. Tell me Obi-Wan's favorite color."

Anakin frowned. Jedi weren't supposed to have favories. On the other hand, he'd noticed that Obi-Wan slept always in the same color shirt and loose pants. "Midnight blue, shot through with discreet silve," he said, picturing the night things. They'd caught his notice when he first starting living with Obi-Wan at Temple because the colors were so different from those Obi-Wan usually wore, even to exercise or meditate in. They were, maybe, a secret he had, the enjoyment of such bold hues.

"And what color do you think of when you think of him?"

At first, Anakin wanted to say midnight blue, but then he cleared his mind, calling up an image of Obi-Wan. He thought of saying 'rich, dark brown' but that wasn't right, either. The answer came then, and Anakin said, "Claret. It's too dark for him, I know, and he would never wear it, but his passion, his love for all people, his devotion to the Force- those are claret. And they're what he's made of."

"His favorite place."

This one was easy, though at first Anakin wanted to tell himself that it was the Temple. But his heart knew the truth, and so even though he himself had never been there, and he felt bad that he'd never shared Obi-Wan's favorite place with his master, he said, "The B'yrch groves on Fregala."

"B'yrch trees. Silver leaves, white trunks." She nodded, then ticked off the colors on her fingers: "Midnight blue. Silver. White. Claret. Dark, earth brown."

"I never said brown."

She smiled. "I've met Obi-Wan once or twice. Back when he was a young apprentice."

Then maybe she would want to know about Qui-Gon. Anakin swallowed. This was going to be the first time he told anyone about the loss to the Jedi. He braced himself, determined that he would do this the right way. "I'm sorry to tell you, but Qui-Gon died about two weeks ago. That's why I'm looking for something to give Obi-Wan."

Her eyes darkened, and she bowed her head. Three pearl-pink tears trickled down her cheeks. She let them fall onto the counter. When she looked up, another tear fell. "Obi-Wan needs comfort, then." She rose. "I'll be right back." She flew up to a high shelf and took down a box that said "grief stones: do not handle". She returned, and set the box on the counter. Opening the lid, she said, "Do not touch." Inside the box, arranged in rows of twenty or more, sat close to a hundred pristine, white stones. "Grief stones are unique. I sell many, but this one I will give away. I still think you're right to find him a stone that carries the colors he identifies with and that will be carried with him. But these are special. When you hold a grief stone, it changes color to the hue of the mood you are in when you pick it up, and it changes slowly towards the mood you want. If you are grieving, but wish to be happy, the stone will start out one color- the color of grief is different for all- and change towards happiness. And as it changes, the grief stone will give you memories of the person you lost, different memories for different moods."

She ducked behind the counter, and a loud clanking came from back there. She raised her voice slightly to be heard. "No one but the recipient of the grief stone must handle it, or the stone will imprint to someone else." She reappeared then, holding a pair of tongs and a woven bag. These things she set on the counter. Then she fished a stone out of her pocket and held it so Anakin could see it. The stone was just the size of those in the box. It was painted in hues of a sunrise on Tatooine: palest yellow and baby blue. "My stone tells me I am grieving for Qui-Gon, and for Obi-Wan, but that I have faith and hope that the Force will guard both of them and heal Obi-Wan's pain." She smiled a little. "It also speaks to me in the voice of my mother, telling me that the Force will take care of all Jedi. Obi-Wan's stone will speak to him in voices that mean something to him. The stone does not give advice, except that which is already in the heart of the listener."

Anakin gazed at the stone, and his heart told him he must have it for Obi-Wan. He still longed for another, lesser, stone, which would remind Obi-Wan of him, and of his favorite place, but the stone she held would help in so many ways. He asked, "How much is it?"

She smiled. "Didn't you hear me say I would give this one?"

Anakin bit his lip. "But, if it's so expensive… I can pay."

Caala raised an eyebrow at him. "Will you deny me this chance to give comfort to Qui-Gon's padawan, and to show my appreciation for all Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon did, as a team, for the Republic?" Using the tongs, she plucked a stone from the box and dropped it into the bag. She held out the bag to Anakin, who took it. "Thank you. I can see you know when arguing is good, and when it isn't." She gazed at him. "I can see it in your eyes: you wish another."

Ten minutes later, Anakin and Reeft left the shop and headed back towards the Temple. They took the long way back, stopping here and there to look at things, but it was hard for Anakin to focus on any of these things, and so they halted less and less. When they returned to the Temple, there were still three hours to wait. Reeft took Anakin to the young Jedi's quarters to make sure all was straight, then he took Anakin back into the half meditation-telekinesis exercise of that morning. And in this way, they passed the next two and a half hours.

oOo-------------------------------------------------------------------------------oOo

**Author's Note:** If you skipped the letter before this chapter, you need to go back and read it. You'll learn why there's going to be a week-to-three weeks' pause between this chapter and the next one. Also, if you wish to flame me for the pause I'm about to take, send some marshmallows to roast, too. Thanks. Until we again meet, may the Force be with you.


	30. The ReunionFear in the Night

**Author's Note:** The outline is taking longer than I thought. Give me two more weeks, I beg. On the bright side, these two chapters, taken from the outline-in-progress, only took me four days to write.

Reunion

There had been no 'fresher on the ship Obi-Wan had taken from Coruscant, but he'd kept a set of spare robes there, and so as Garen piloted the ship out of the atmosphere, Obi-Wan retreated to change. Using the few grooming products he'd brought to Dagobah, he washed as best he could and got dressed. When he emerged, though, Bant and Siri grabbed him and made him sit. Together, they trimmed his beard and his hair, doing a fair job on both. When he was brought the mirror, Obi-Wan smiled. He looked older than he had on Coruscant; a few grey strands were sprinkled here and there through his hair. He hadn't seen himself since he left Temple, and so he gazed for a full minute, noting the new lines. He was leaner, and his eyes showed all he'd been through. He veiled the blue-green orbs for a moment, then looked at himself again. Yes, he could hide some of it, but much had changed him, and to try and repress it would be a lie. He rose, handing the mirror back to Bant. "You did well," he told them both. "I look like a Jedi Master again instead of a half-draggled rat."

Siri said, "You look different than when you left. Does it bother you, oh so neat and tidy Obi-Wan?"

"What was left of my self-centered image concerns is now on Dagobah. I lost them in the first month there." He shrugged. "And if I retain a little of them, enough to bother me about what to wear while I'm at Temple, I'll just remind myself that I've been nearly three years without a shower, and since I came through that, a wrinkled sleeve isn't such a big thing."

She nodded. "I'll be glad to remind you. Anytime you need it."

He bowed to her. "Each temptation towards vanity will I bring to you."

oOo

The ship was approaching; Anakin tugged nervously at his cloak to made sure it hung exactly straight. Out of the corner of his eye, he noted all those who had come to welcome Obi-Wan home: Yoda, Mace and Adi Gallia represented the Council. Bant's apprentice, Nela, was there. Gareth was there. Twelve Knights Anakin didn't know, even by name, were there, and so were ten or so Masters. All had their eyes on the sky. Anakin found himself wondering how many of those waiting were doing so because they wanted to comfort Obi-Wan after Qui-Gon's death, and he wondered if Obi-Wan would be able to handle so many trying to comfort him all at once.

The graceful vessel made its final approach, then settled on the platform. The engines were cut off. Anakin resisted the urge to bite his lip or bounce on the balls of his feet. He called on the Force and did his best to release the nervousness that had crept into his muscles. Most of the nervousness remained. He groaned and gave in a little, biting his lip once, then leaving off it as the ramp was engaged. He was grateful for only one thing: he was too nervous and too worried about how Obi-Wan would be, and how Obi-Wan would see him, to be sexually excited. That, he knew, would come later, but for now he was safe.

Ryn-yn appeared at the top of the ramp. He stepped to the far right. Bant appeared next, standing beside him. Then Garen and Siri stepped to the far left. Obi-Wan stepped into the gap these four had made.

_He looks magnificent. _Anakin barely saw the new lines on his master's face, and didn't notice the dark silver in his hair. All he saw was how well Obi-Wan carried himself. More confidence shone in Obi-Wan's carriage than before, and even subtle movements seemed like grand symmetry working itself out. He could hear the Force singing around Obi-Wan like a thousand-voice choir all holding a note at the quietest level possible: powerful, invigorating, but scarcely there. The padawan held his breath as Obi-Wan started down the ramp.

Reeft nudged Anakin forward a step, and Anakin went, feeling dimly foolish, but not caring just then.

When Obi-Wan stood before Anakin with the others arrayed by him like some ceremonial honor guard, Anakin dropped to one knee before his master, his head bowed. "Welcome back, Master Obi-Wan, to your home. Welcome to your place of renewal and peace." He'd thought, earlier, while he was struggling with the words, that they were stupid, since Obi-Wan had _gone away_ to find peace, but now he sensed that they were the right words, even in a case such as this.

"I'm home indeed. Thank you."

The warmth of Obi-Wan's voice belied the ritualized words, and the hand on Anakin's shoulder sent a small thrill through the younger man. Anakin looked up, and met Obi-Wan's gaze. His master smiled.

Anakin rose, and Obi-Wan kept his hand on the boy's shoulder for a moment. Then, as Yoda moved forward, Obi-Wan turned and bowed to the elderly master.

Five full minutes passed as Obi-Wan was greeted and consoled about Qui-Gon's death. To each comforter, Obi-Wan said basically the same thing: "It was the will of the Force." When all had said their piece, Yoda gestured for everyone to leave. Soon, the platform was empty except for Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Reeft.

Again, Obi-Wan approached Anakin, and this time he wrapped his arms tight around his padawan and held him close. "I'm so glad to see you," he murmured. And then, with one arm still around Anakin's back, he turned to Reeft and said, "Thank you for watching after him."

Reeft nodded, bowed slightly. "It's good to see you home. We can talk about Anakin's accomplishments tomorrow; for now, go rest. You two have a lot to discus." He looked to Anakin. "It was an honor to be your master for a time."

Anakin reluctantly pulled free of Obi-Wan's one-armed embrace so he could bow. Straightening, he said, "Thank you, Master Reeft, for everything."

Reeft nodded, then turned and left the platform.

Alone, the two Jedi gazed at each other. Anakin again found that he wanted to shift his feet or look away. He did neither, though his heart was pounding so loud he was sure Obi-Wan could hear it. Struggling for something to say, he tried, "Master…" But that was as far as he could go, and that impersonal word held nothing of what he longed to say. He reached out, and when he realized what he was doing, he tried to pull his hand back. Wasn't he supposed to be showing Obi-Wan all he had accomplished? No Jedi was left without words, or unable to control his actions!

But halfway back to its place by his side, Anakin's hand was caught and held. Anakin stared at their joined hands, noting the small scars on the back of Obi-Wan's hand, scars that disappeared under the master's robe. With the trembling fingers of his other hand, he traced the thin, white scars, wondering where they had come from and if they would ever fade. With difficulty, Anakin raised his eyes to Obi-Wan's face, and there he saw, painted in lines and green eyes all the pain and successes that had come to his master since they'd been parted. Again, Anakin spoke. "Obi, I missed you." He swallowed. That was but a taste of all he'd endured, and he said, "Can we go to our quarters?"

Obi-Wan nodded. Then, taking his hand from Anakin's he made as if to put his arm around Anakin's shoulders so they could walk together that way, but Anakin had grown, making that posture inconvenient and uncomfortable for both of them. Obi-Wan drew back, smiling a little, then shrugged. "I suppose we'll have to just be content with walking next to each other." Amusement and wistfulness blended together in his tone, and though his eyes shown with sudden regret, he didn't look away. "Come, Padawan mine. Let's retire."

Anakin's heart thrilled to hear that endearment again from lips that were so close to his. _Stop that! _He grimaced within himself. _If you hold any hope of ever wining his heart, you can't start by throwing yourself on him. He misses Qui-Gon. He and Qui-Gon shared something special that most Jedi never do, so let him only see the caring you have for him. In time, if it's meant to be-_

Except he knew it was meant to be, that it _must_ be.

_-then you will approach him. But not yet._

They turned in unconscious tandem, and strode from the platform in equally unconscious lock-step. They moved through the corridors in this way, moving like the sun and moon, or the moon and tides, each drawing on the other, ever giving strength and reassurance. Any and all who saw them rejoiced in the seeing, even if it was only in a secret place in their hearts, or because they heard a voice from the Force that said, "Yes. This is right. This is how they are meant to be."

They entered their quarters and the door closed behind them. Anakin locked it with the Force, not wanting anyone to disturb them. Then he watched Obi-Wan take in the few things he'd changed and the general state of their quarters.

Obi-Wan went to the bookshelf and smiled at the books there, resting a hand on a shelf for a moment before turning away. He gazed around their small common room, then turned back to Anakin. "You kept everything just as when I-" But then he saw the two small packages on the low table before the couch, and he stopped. "What's this, Padawan mine?"

"Some things I wanted you to have." Anakin crossed to the couch behind the dark-wood table but didn't sit yet. He watched Obi-Wan, feeling nervous, needing to know if all was really this well between them or if it was some cruel joke. He longed to reach out through their bond, but something prevented him. He wasn't sure if it was something he was sensing, or just a hesitation within himself.

"Before that-" As if he sensed Anakin's desire, or simply because he shared it, Obi-Wan reached out through the Force, opening fully his half of their bond. _I've missed you,_ he sent, and he took two steps towards Anakin, opening his arms. With his thought came some of the pain he was feeling, and all of the joy.

Anakin crossed to Obi-Wan and completed the bond as he wrapped his arms tight around the other man and closed his eyes against the intensity of being held again, here, in the privacy of their quarters where protocol and correctness didn't have be adhered to, where, in fact, those things had been mostly ignored. He breathed in Obi-Wan's discreet scent and resisted the urge to press against his master. He didn't want to press his erection against Obi-Wan's thigh, but only wished to be closer. He held himself in check and sent, _How many times will I feel like I have to say I missed you before the statement doesn't need me speaking it anymore?_

_I can feel how much you missed me, Anakin. You don't have to say anything. _Obi-Wan was rubbing Anakin's back with little circles. _That will be your last time, at least as far as I need to hear it. I believe you. And here's my last time: I missed you, and longed constantly to be home, in these quarters, with you._

Anakin wondered if Obi-Wan had any idea how romantic that sounded. He doubted it, and set the thought aside. _Will you come open your gifts now? _He drew back, smiled at Obi-Wan. They were almost the same height now, though Anakin was perhaps as much as an inch taller. _Master Reeft helped me find them._

Obi-Wan's smile had returned. He paused a moment, seeming to look right into Anakin, then he stepped away and gestured. _Care to join me?_

Anakin brushed ahead and sat, holding out the package he wanted Obi-Wan to take first. The grief-stone would wait; he wanted Obi-Wan to see this one. This package was heavier than the other, and he tried not to grin or blush as he held it out.

Sitting, Obi-Wan took the proffered gift and stripped the paper away. He paused there a moment, as if savoring the anticipation, or the look of waiting on Anakin's face, then opened the box. He set the box on his lap and drew out the stone. As large as his palm and flat, it was engraved with the symbol of a lightsaber and these words on the side that faced him: _Jedi Master, you follow the Light in the Darkness._

He gazed at the stone for a moment, tracing the lightsaber with the tip of a finger. The color of the stone: midnight blue with touches of discreet silver, seemed to glow as if it was finally in the hand where it belonged. Obi-Wan turned the stone over and breathed, "Anakin…" He touched the white tracing of the Jedi Temple overlaid by a small grove of B'yrch trees. The two images seemed to be one. And the warm claret of this side of the stone looked warm to the touch. The white lines of the Temple and trees stood out like a guiding light. "Anakin, it's…" He turned the stone over again, stared at the words on that side, then turned it back to touch the engraved images there. "So beautiful." A single tear trickled down his cheek and fell onto the stone. Obi-Wan moved as if to wipe the tears away, but the tear faded into the stone and was gone. "What is this? Stones that drink?"

"It's called a clynn," Anakin said. "They're found on Slarris, near Corelia. They take in moisture and return crystals. Tomorrow, a few crystals will fall from the stone and grow into new rocks." He shrugged. "It's a stone, but not, because it grows. All it needs are moisture and sunlight. Scientists haven't decided yet if it's alive or not."

"If my vote counts, I think it's alive." Obi-Wan traced the trees again. "I wonder if Qui-Gon knew about these." He smiled a little, and another tear fell, "Probably." He closed his fingers around the stone and reached out to take Anakin's hand in his. "Thank you for this."

Anakin nodded, smiled a little, and squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. They sat like that for several minutes, then Obi-Wan drew his hand away. He set the clynn stone on the low table and asked, "Should I look at the other now, or would you prefer I wait?"

Anakin picked up the second package. His hands were shaking. He hoped Obi-Wan didn't notice. _Probably did. He notices everything. Well, except that I love him. But how is he supposed to see that? _"Here. Just be careful. Don't drop it."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, but when Anakin wouldn't answer his look, he took the bag. When it was open before him, he lifted out the grief stone. At once, it changed color. Silver shot over it, mixed with a warm pink that looked absolutely alive. Obi-Wan nearly dropped the stone, and his eyes widened it shock. "It speaks to me!"

"What is it saying?"

Obi-Wan cradled the stone in both hands and said, "Reach out. You'll be able to hear it."

Anakin reached through the Force, and he heard Qui-Gon's quiet voice: _I love you, Obi-Wan. I will always love you. From beyond death I love you. I'm in the Force; I'm all around you and inside you. I'll never leave you._

Obi-Wan wept for several minutes, and though the stone fell silent, it seemed to grow warm in his hands, and its colors changed, moving from pink and silver to a deeper rose and grey, to a burgundy and black that Anakin found depressing. But Obi-Wan was smiling, and he sent, _When I was nineteen, Qui-Gon gave me a pendant that was made of black and burgundy shells. I couldn't wear it because the Jedi do not carry such things, but I kept it. Whenever I miss him, or if I woke in the night from a bad dream and he wasn't there, I would take out the pendant and think of him. I'd feel better soon._

_I never saw it._

Obi-Wan groaned softly, and a wave of sadness and frustration preceded his words. _Strange how I still mourn over it after all this time. Surely that's not Jedi-like._

_It doesn't have to be Jedi-like; all Jedi are allowed moments of sadness and regret. Just because we le go of them again and again doesn't mean we don't have them. _

_Anakin… You've grown up. _Obi-Wan set the stone in the bag and snugged the top closed with the drawstring. He opened his arms again and the two of them embraced. It was different sitting down; to be comfortable, Anakin had to do more of the holding because his arms were longer and his torso was also longer. They sat that way for several minutes.

Then Obi-Wan drew back, cleared his throat. "I have something to ask you, Padawan mine. It's going to be uncomfortable for both of us, but it's something I must ask."

_Does he know?_ flashed across Anakin's mind. _Or does he just suspect I might love him? _He remembered that look Obi-Wan had given him only a few moments ago. It had been as if Obi-Wan could see right into his soul. Anakin tried not to fidget. "What is it?"

"While on Dagobah, I had a vision." A tiny smile showed through Obi-Wan's beard. "Well, many visions, but there's one in particular I'd like to discuss with you." A pause. "And I'm stalling, such is my discomfort." He leaned forward, making sure Anakin was meeting his gaze. "The vision was of you, a few years from now, fighting Annie. She had killed me and you were battling her."

Anakin looked disappointed and frustrated. "I was angry, wasn't I?"

"Yes, but you let it go. That's not what I wanted to tell you."

Anakin blinked. "Oh. You mean, I actually learned something?" Despite the teasing in his voice, the relief was evident.

Obi-Wan nodded, giving that tiny smile.

Anakin exclaimed, "Wait! I was fighting _Annie_? And she skilled you? Obi, how can you be so calm?"

"I haven't decided how to react to that part of the vision, since there isn't much I can do about it right now. It may not come to pass. And maybe what I'm about to tell you about is an emotion you don't feel. Visions aren't always truth. They're-"

Anakin squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. "Now you're really stalling. What emotion did you see from me? It was from me, wasn't it?"

"Yes." Obi-Wan lowered his eyes for a moment, then looked up again when Anakin squeezed his hand.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. It will be all right. I promise."

"During the vision, this older you came to me in the cave under the tree roots. Annie disappeared, and the vision of you knelt before me and told me that he loved me. That he had loved me for years." Obi-Wan bore down on Anakin's hands. "I need you to understand what I'm saying, Padawan mine. I'm not speaking of the love you and I have already spoken to each other: the love of a master for his padawan and your love for me, but like the love that Qui-Gon and I shared. That's the love the vision of you spoke of under the tree. The vision of you said you had loved me for years. I need to know the truth behind the vision's words, if truth there is."

Anakin's heart raced and he fought not to look away. He felt panic rising in his mind and he took a breath, holding the panic in, letting it build, then letting it go. It went, all of it, because in that space between breahing in and breathing out he'd realized something, and knew it was the truth. And though he'd said something similar to himself less than an hour ago, it made much more sense now. Now was not the time to tell Obi-Wan of his love, even though Obi-Wan was asking. Obi-Wan needed him as a comforter, not as a complication. "I don't love you," he said, voice calm, expression serious. "Not as you love Qui-Gon." He stopped there, knowing that he would blunder forward and add things that didn't need to be added if he kept talking. _I need to tell him I don't love him, let him feel at peace with that, let him know I'll be here to comfort him in light of Qui-Gon's death. But what I can't do is build up so many barriers between us now that no confession of mine later on would be accepted._

Obi-Wan was nodding. "Ah." A light blush colored his cheeks. "Forgive me, Padawan mine, but I needed to pursue what the vision said. We've been so long apart, and I know I might have missed any signals you gave." His blush deepened for a moment, then it faded and he smiled. "You might be thinking of how often I said not to follow visions or dreams. Let's just say that Qui-Gon was more right about that than I admitted to myself. Intuition can be used along with the Force, and dreams and visions can be weighed against hard facts."

Anakin wondered if he should ask this next question, but any hesitation he felt was offset by his desperate need to know. "Did the vision ask if you loved him? Me?"

Obi-Wan was quiet for so long that Anakin thought he wouldn't answer. But then Obi-Wan said, his eyes locked with Anakin's, "Yes, he asked, and I told him that Qui-Gon had only been dead for six days and I wasn't ready to think about anyone else that way." He held up a hand. "And that means exactly what it sounds like: not yes, or no, but that I can't even begin to think about anything beyond how much I miss Qui-Gon." He sighed. "It's even hard to keep my grief in perspective to my obedience to the Force."

Anakin's heart soared. _He didn't say no! He didn't say he could never love me!_

"Please understand, Anakin, that if I ever did fall in love with you, and you didn't want it, I would rather almost anything than make you uncomfortable or ruin the friendship we have."

_And he's worried about scaring me off! He could never do that. _Anakin caught both of Obi-Wan's hands in his. "I think we're too close for misunderstandings like that to get in our way."

Obi-Wan nodded and smiled, a wider expression this time. A teasing spark shone in his eye. "I quite agree, Padawan mine."

oOo

As sunset neared, Obi-Wan and Anakin approached the Council Chamber. Bant and Nela were already waiting outside. Of Garen and Siri there was as of yet no sign. Obi-Wan approached Bant, and for a moment the two masters only gazed at each other, not speaking, not reaching out through the Force. They both knew what was ahead, and since neither of them had challenged the Council in anything, this promised to be an interesting meeting.

At last, Obi-Wan said, "I wish Qui-Gon was here. He'd know how to approach this."

Bant smiled. "Or maybe he'd be just as nervous as we are." She turned to Nela and Anakin. "You'll be coming in with us, but you'll need to be silent. This is going to be a challenging meeting, just as much for you as for us. Promise me now that you'll both stay quiet, no matter what you hear."

"I can't promise," Anakin said. "But I'll try."

_In this case, Padawan mine, _Obi-Wan sent, _there is only do or do not do. This is nothing that's going to hurt you or me. You're likely to see the four of us get a little nervous, but nothing more. Will you hold your peace? You can demand why I kept all this a secret later if you want to._

Anakin didn't reply right away, but when he did, his heart was in his answer. "I promise."

Just then, Garen and Siri appeared. Both of them looked determined and fiercely focused. Obi-Wan looked around at his friends, only to see that they were all gazing at him, waiting for him to make the first move. Strange, that, since he hadn't been the one to suggest this little venture. _Then again, I'm the only one here with a relationship under my belt. _Grief touched his mind like a cloud passing over the sun. Obi-Wan let it rest there, then he blew it away. _I love you, Qui-Gon. As the Force is with me, be with me. I'll need you in this. _Obi-Wan turned to the door and the others followed. Anakin stepped behind Obi-Wan and the master was glad Anakin was taking his promise seriously and following all protocol. _I must remember to thank him for that when this is all over. _He touched the door chimes and waited.

Mace's voice: "Come."

Obi-an steppe through the parting doors and the others followed him. When they all stood int eh Council Chamber, Obi-Wan found himself directly before Yoda, with Anakin to his right and behind him, and Bant further to his right with her padawan. Garen and Siri stood at his left hand. Obi-Wan bowed to Yoda, and the others followed suit. "Master Yoda," Obi-Wan began when he'd straightened, "We're here to discuss a need we see within the Jedi."

"Speak of this need."

Obi-Wan hadn't really been planning to do most of the talking, but seemingly that was the position the others had placed him in, and now he had to accept it. He hoped only that the Force would give him the right words, if this idea was truly approved by the Force. He opened his mouth, trusting the words would be there, and they were. "Masters, the Jedi have long believed that to follow the Force properly, we must deprive ourselves of many of the cumbrances and luxuries many other beings experience. Only by emptying our minds of so many small demands on our time and energies can we dedicate ourselves to the Force. Love is one of those." He took an unconscious half-step forward and his hands came out of his sleeves and made a picture before him. "But love, unlike other distractions, is like compassion. Compassion is ultimate love, setting yourself aside for another. But love is different, too, because it breeds attachment, and that's a danger to our way of life." A pause; a breath. "And yet, it's love that we're here to talk to you about. Love existed between Qui-Gon Jinn and I for over ten years. Through that love, we were brought to a better, deeper understanding of the Force. In our case, and, I would argue, in some other cases as well, love is not a hindrance but a blessing and a help to our work in the Force." He blushed a little, but pressed on. "You were right when you said to Qui-Gon and I that not all Jedi can love, because not all Jedi can put their love second to the Force. But for those Jedi that can- and there are more than just Qui-Gon and I- love will only strengthen them and help them grow. We're here to ask if the Council will consider changing the law about love." He gave a slight bow and stepped back to where he'd been. His hands found each other within his sleeves and he was still.

Yoda turned his eyes to the rest of the Council. "A confession I will make first, and then opinions from the rest of you I will ask." He looked to those younger Jedi standing in the circle of the chairs. "Master Obi-Wan, thank you I do for your discretion, but speak of the other joined Jedi I wish you to, because know of them you do."

Obi-Wan felt a little startled at being asked to release such information, especially with Yoda and Mace sitting right there, but he said, "Master, you and Master Windu are a couple also. Until Qui-Gon and I petitioned the Council, you were the only Jedi couple alive. There have been other couples in the past, but I don't know who those were."

Yoda nodded, then turned his eyes to the rest of the Council. "Speak, please."

Adi Gallia murmured, "This has never weighed heavily on my heart, and I would never think of being with someone, but that doesn't mean what's been said isn't true. I saw with my own eyes Qui-Gon flourish under his connection with Obi-Wan." She held up a cautioning finger. "But I must also point out that both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon made mistakes in the name of their love and fell away from the Force for a time. They fell in small ways, but sometimes they still fell."

Kit Fisto said, "Despite all that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon endured, both good and bad, it is the other Jedi we must set our hearts on. Many of them, I do not believe, could handle loving another. But I do know a dozen Jedi at least who have the potential to benefit greatly from love." He turned his eyes to Bant, and said, "master Bant, you are one, and I only speak it here to demonstrate that Jedi of all ages could grow in that way. Others might be Gareth, Njhan Seewi and Ryn-yn Yil."

"The Jedi are changing," Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "We are no longer the monastic order that was founded one thousand years ago. We have changed in so many ways since then, and many of those changes were more dramatic than this. If we stay loyal to the Force, with the pursuit of the Light remaining our goal, I see no reason why we cannot allow some members of the Jedi to petition for permission to love. We cannot stop true love, it seems, and since love is central to what we are, I see no reason why we should. Not all Jedi are wise enough to put their love after their devotion to the Force, but as older, more experienced Jedi have guided younger ones in other matters, let them guide in this. There could even be benefits of a more experienced couple counseling a newer one."

And so it went. None of the Council members had any strong objections, and as each gave their vote of approval, even if that approval was conditional, Obi-Wan relaxed. He'd never considered that he would be asking the Council to change their ways, and the idea that it was happening right before his eyes had been a bit unnerving at first, but now he saw that truly the Force had agreed with him, and that this new idea wasn't so far-fetched after all.

_See? _the Force whispered in his heart. _I said you're a great Jedi. I know what I'm talking about._

Then it was time for Yoda to speak. Mace, too, had spoken, though his had been the briefest response, saying only that he agreed with all that had been said. Now it was time for Yoda's words, and the master said, "I have been meditating on the truth of all this for weeks now. Visited by a miracle Mace and I have been: a baby. His name is Woda, and as a Force-sensitive child, raised here he will be. I wished for him to grow up in an Order that is completely honest with its members. A secret myself and Mace have been keeping, and with us, all the Council, and also Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Time it is that this secret ended is." He folded his hands atop his gimmer stick. "Tomorrow, a general assembly there will be. A general assembly- a calling together of all the Jedi who are at Temple has not been called in most of your lifetimes, but done before it has been. Call together all Jedi I will, and ask each of them to weigh this new and great responsibility I will. Come to the Council they will with their proposals, if love they wish to. Understand that a great responsibility this is to place on the Jedi. Such a great privilege come without a price cannot." He met Obi-Wan's gaze. "Agree to counsel new couples will you?"

"Yes, Master."

Yoda nodded. "Mace and I offer counsel as well will." He frowned. "Not speaking of lovers' spats am I, but true emergencies within the Order. If finding it hard to pursue the Force a couple is, come to an older couple they must." His frown deepened. "And easy this will not be. Whenever change there is, learning all those in that generation are. And once allow Jedi to love we do, to go back almost impossible will be. A step we are taking, and not an experiment." He looked around at the Council. "Willing are all of you to take this step? All must take it together."

One by one, the Council members nodded. Yoda, too, nodded. "Yes, ready we are to take this step." His eyes returned to Obi-Wan. "Speak not of this you will until tomorrow the assembly called is." His gaze swept the young masters and their padawans. "Agree to this all of you do?"

The four masters nodded, and, after a moment, realizing that Yoda was waiting for their answer too, Anakin and Nela did the same.

"Then in agreement we all are." Yoda was silent for a moment, then he said, "Obi-Wan, alone for a moment would you remain? The rest of you: may the Force be with you."

The others bowed and left. Anakin hesitated a fraction of a second, but at Obi-Wan's quick glance, he, too, departed. He would wait just outside the doors, and he guessed most of the others would as well.

When the doors were closed, Yoda asked Obi-Wan to come with him into the next room. Mace came with them. When these three were alone, Yoda asked, "Grieved have you? A new and terrible fact you have learned: how you feel after losing one that you love so deeply."

I have, Master. Grieved." Obi-Wan's voice was rough and he didn't try to hide the sudden sting of tears. They brimmed in his eyes, blurring his vision. "Those that you sent to Dagobah helped me, and Anakin gave me a grief stone. Garen, Siri and Bant have promised to help me. I am going to meet with them twice a week until the immediate bite of grief has eased."

"Don't neglect Anakin as someone who can help you," Mace said. "He may be your padawan, but he knows you better than most and will therefore understand you better and know ways to comfort you that no one else will." Mace unbent sufficiently to reach out and lay a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "No pain is like the pain of losing someone you love. Don't neglect any help you are offered. And don't be ever afraid to ask for help. From the Force or from any other Jedi. All of us are here for you."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan wiped at his tears.

Yoda said, "Wish I could that take this pain from you I could, but bearing it well you are. Letting it overwhelm you you are not, nor ignoring it are you. Wise you have grown, Obi-Wan, and glad I am to see you returned to us so strong and so serene. Grown immensely in the Force you have, true?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master. It wasn't easy." His smile was half-sad. "Thank you for suggesting the retreat. I don't think I could have kept going in the Force without that time to be wih the Force alone."

Yoda nodded. "Dagobah good for being alone with the Force is." He hmmphed softly as he limped two steps closer to Obi-Wan. "As a son I see you, Obi-Wan, and have seen you. If help with your grief I can, know that help I will. Qui-Gon and I always close were, despite his tendency to disregard the rules. Help you remember him at his best I can and will, if need that you ever do."

Obi-Wan's ears came faster. "I'd like that." His knees unhinged on their own and he knelt before Yoda. "You've always been there for me, Master, from when I first arrived at Temple and through everything that I've been through. Thank you for forgiving all the mistakes I've made and for-" his voice broke- "never leaving me to face things alone. When I was little and wanted the Force with a face so that I could focus on It easier, yours was the face I used." He swallowed as Yoda's arms came around his neck, and he held Yoda. "I don't remember my birth-father, but you have always been a father to me." He wept then, for Qui-Gon, for himself, and in gratitude for all Yoda had given him.

Yoda's arms tightened around Obi-Wan's neck and he sent through the Force, _My youngling. So glad am I to see you grown now and holding your own against the galaxy. The Force always will be with you, and with you too I will be, as long as the Force allows. A strong Jedi you are, and someday look to you a hundred Jedi will. Look to you for guidance they will, as you look to me, and also for comfort. When ask for comfort they do, tell them this: love begets more love. As you were loved, you will love them. And so, with the Force, which is all knowledge, all truth, and all love, they will never be alone._

These two held each other for several minutes while time passed around them, but neither of them felt the passage of time. Yoda also wept for Qui-Gon, and so they shared their grief. And when at last they came back to the world, neither of them felt shame at having been gone for a little while. Yoda stepped back when Obi-Wan released him, and the diminutive master accepted his gimmer stick from Mace, who had stood quietly by. Obi-Wan rose and took a respectful step back. He wiped at his wet cheeks, but for now the tears had stopped. His eyes shone with all the gratitude and sadness he felt, and also with the happiness that had come with Yoda's words.

"Thank you," he whispered. "For everything."

"Welcome you are, Obi-Wan, and grateful to you I am. Share the pain and joy we will in the coming months." He glanced up at Mace, who had put a hand on his shoulder.

Obi-Wan smiled, bowed to them both, then said, "May the Force be with you both. I'd better go see what my padawan is up to."

"In some pain he has been since left you did," Yoda said. "But growth too I see in him. Having you back greatly help him will." He hmmphed softly. "And admit a mistake to you I should: be with Reeft in the first place perhaps Anakin should have been."

"Except Reeft helped Ferus to be a great Knight," Mace said.

Yoda nodded. "But more will I listen to your opinions, Master Obi-Wan. Gained wisdom you have." He stepped aside, and Mace went with him. Leaving a path for Obi-Wan to leave the room. After another bow, Obi-Wan did so.

When they were alone, Mace sat down and Yoda climbed into his lap. "You know," Mace said, "I'm starting to see what you've seen in him all along. I have to admit that there were plenty of times I didn't understand why you fought so hard for him to stay at Temple. Now I see it." He chuckled and ran his fingers through Yoda's fringe of hair. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you could see the future."

Yoda drew Mace's face down to his, kissing him deeply. When he drew back, he said, "For my part, only selfishness can I give credit to. The Force urged me again and again to help Obi-Wan, but cared for him always I have, and so perhaps like Qui-Gon would have been if urging from the Force I did not have."

Mace kissed the top of Yoda's head, then drew back so their eyes met. "Does he remind you of what Yace might have been if he'd been Force-sensitive? Is that why he feels like your son?"

"No. Compared him to our children I never have. Obi-Wan his own special person has always been." A shadow passed over his eyes and he laid his cheek against Mace's chest. "A day may come when parted we are as Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon parted have been. Seeing Obi-Wan's pain reminds me to say this, and to keep saying it: love you I do, and never stop loving you will I. When pass we both do into the Force, leave a legacy of love we will for other Jedi. And our love a better galaxy makes."

Mace hugged Yoda close. "Yes. Our love has done that and will continue to do it." He groaned softly as Yoda found the pulse point on his neck and sucked there. But then Mace drew back. "I know where this is going, but I'm going to hold it off for a moment. I have a question I've been meaning to ask you since Obi-Wan returned."

"Sure you are that answer it I can?"

"Well, since you're the one who sent him to Dagobah, I thought you might be the one, yes."

"Ask then." Yoda smiled. "If answer I can, answer I will."

"Have you noticed how much Obi-Wan has matured?"

Yoda chuckled. "Noticed I have. Mentioned hasn't it been?"

"Yes, but I'm talking about more than maturity in mind. It's only been a little over two years since he left, and the sum of changes I see in him seem too much to have been accomplished in two years. Is he so much older in mind as he seems? And I know Dagobah is a harsh environment, but he's aged more than two years physically also, unless I've missed my guesss."

"No, aged he has in both ways more than two years account for can." Yoda's eyes and voice teased.

"So are you going to explain this, or are you going to play 'the inscrutable Master Yoda' with me as well?"

"What believe do you? If choose to I do, perhaps tell you if right or wrong I will."

Mace bent his head and nibbled Yoda's ear. "Very well," he said, grinning, "but keep in mind that I might be able to talk you into telling more you want to. I have more power over you than anyone besides the Force."

When Yoda only pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow, Mace laughed.

"All right, then have it your way," the dark-skinned master said. "I know Obi-Wan went to Dagobah to heal and learn, but he's aged seven or eight years in the last two or I'm a muja fruit."

Yoda's eyes fairly danced. "Mmmm. Then even sweeter your taste would be." He chuckled. "Known for strange things happening on its soil Dagobah is. As you know, a focusing point for both sides of the Force that one particular planet is. If go there as a Sith you do, great power for the Dark Side you will find. If go there as a Jedi you do, find great peace and all resources of the Light Force you will. And never forget that powers of the Light Force vast are. Seen many of the lesser-known powers you and I have, and many more exist that know about we do not."

Mace frowned, putting together what he was hearing with what he knew of Yoda's riddles and teasing nature. "Are you saying the Force aged Obi-Wan as it aged Anakin?"

Yoda's eyes sparkled and he hmmphed softly. "Saying nothing I am. Interested in another matter currently I am."

Mace shook his head. That was as good as Yoda saying 'yes,' and so he let it go. He might be able to get Yoda to confess it out loud, admit that, yes, Mace was right, but that would take a while, and just now Mace thought he wanted to spend his time on something else. He matched Yoda's mischievous look with one of his own. "And what matter is on your mind, devilish one?"

Yoda snickered, a delightful sound most Jedi would never hear him make.

Mace enjoyed the sound that would reach his ears alone. So much of what Yoda was belonged to Mace alone because Yoda didn't share it with others. Mace knew he would always be grateful for those secrets of Yoda that only he shared in.

Yoda grinned, another rare occurrence, and said, "Time we have now to ourselves. What interests me, do you think?"

oOo

The two Jedi sat across from each other. They'd arranged this dinner meeting before Bant went to Bagobah. Originally, they'd thought everyone would be there: Siri, Garen, Nela, Anakin, and Obi-Wan. But Garen and Siri had bailed, and Anakin had begged off, saying he wanted to be alone with Obi-Wan after so long apart. Bant hadn't even bothered to ask Obi-Wan, sensing that he wanted the same. And when all the others had decided not to go, Nela had confessed that she had some studying to do. Bant knew her padawan well enough to know Nela was only letting her master be alone with a good friend, but Bant smiled and let it slide.

Now, as they ate a light meal, neither of them able to concentrate much on the food, Bant found herself wondering why they'd been abandoned. Looking at Reeft, she knew they meant something to each other, something more than just friends, or even just close friends, as she was with Obi-Wan. Sighing, she set her fork down, giving up completely on her barely-touched 'tatos. "It was almost like seeing him come back from the dead," she said. It wasn't what she'd meant to say, and she was shocked to hear it come out. Bant had thought she was going to talk about them, about how being alone with Reeft was weighing on her heart. But the moment she spoke those words, she knew this needed to be talked about. "It's not just that I hadn't seen him in so long, but the way he looked: older, so much older and, even in his grief, so much wiser. He didn't sound wise at first, but that's only because…" She gasped, reached across the table and caught Reeft's hands. Glancing around the mostly-empty cafeteria, she saw they were effectively alone. "Obi-Wan loved Qui-Gon. They were together."

Reeft nodded. "Anakin told me. It explained a lot."

She blinked, surprised, then smiled. "I guess I should have known. Do you already know about Master Yoda and Master Windu then?"

Reeft nodded. "Anakin told me about them, too." He shook his head. "I still can't imagine how they…" He let the statement hang between them.

Bant blushed, giggled a little, and drew back from him. "I can't really imagine it either." Then, "Obi-Wan grieved with us, but he's going to need our help in the coming days and months. And none of us can really know how he feels."

"True," Reeft said, "but we can still be there to hold him and help him remember good times with Qui-Gon." He frowned. "I know what you mean about him looking and sounding older. For purely selfish reasons, I can't wait until he and I meet to discuss Anakin. I'll get to talk to him and find out for myself what happened. Master Gareth, when he returned before the rest of you, talked to me about Dagobah being a crucible, about how Obi-Wan is being prepared for something important."

"Well, he's the master of the Chosen One. Isn't that important enough?"

"Maybe." A quick shake of his head. "No. Obi-Wan is meant to play an even greater role. I don't know what it is, but I know it's great."

"Well, he's already done one great thing. He's talked the Council into allowing some Jedi to love. Though they were already halfway there, Obi-Wan talked them the res of the way. It took a lot for him to do that. He's never been a public speaker." Then she gasped, covering her mouth with one hand. "I wasn't supposed to talk about that. Not until tomorrow. Master Yoda's calling a General Assembly and he'll talk about it then, but…"

Reeft touched her other hand, which still rested on the table between them. "Make a mistake, move on. Besides, I'm sure you're not the only one who's said anything. Discipline or no discipline, secrets spread among us like night falls on Bar'n III."

She smiled at that. "I guess you're right. And since I can't undo it…" She shrugged, fell silent. Then, after a moment, "He's changed so much. It's hard to believe he's the same Obi-Wan we went through Temple training with. His essential character hasn't changed a bit, but the way he presents it… I think our never-speak-in-public friend is going to become a diplomat, and a skilled one."

"I'd love to see that." Reeft looked down at his plate and laughed. "I guess Obi-Wan's not the only one who's changed."

Bant looked at his full plate and she began to laugh, too. "Weren't you always the one begging for our extra food?"

"Tonight, nothing looks interesting." Reeft rose. "Well, not food, anyway." He extended a hand and helped her rise. "Would you maybe have time for a walk?"

She blushed, but nodded. "Nela will still be 'studying,' I'm sure. She won't miss me for an hour."

"Or two? Maybe I'll keep you out a little longer, if your padawan won't miss you." He chuckled. "I'm free again, it seems, with Anakin back where he belongs." His gaze darkened for a moment, and all mirth went out of his voice. "I'm so glad Obi-Wan's back. Anakin needs him." Then, shaking off his mood, "Shall we?"

Bant fell into step beside him. "Yes. Let's. The Garden of Light is beautiful even after the sun goes down."

oOo

Arnen made space under the sheets for his lover, and when Gareth joined him, Arnen threw his arms around the older man. Closing his eyes, Arnen muttered, "I hate sleeping without you. Do you know how hard it is to be without you at night?"

Gareth smiled. "Do you still long to be a Knight, love? We'd have a harder time making this work."

Arnen drew back a little. "Who cares? I want to be a Knight so you can't get in serious trouble."

"Actually, you'll only have to wait until tomorrow, I believe. After tomorrow, we'll both be safe."

"How's that?"

Gareth laughed. "I have it on good authority that Master Kenobi challenged the Council to let Jedi love. And I have it on that same authority that there will be a meeting tomorrow with all Jedi who wish to discuss the possibilities." He kissed Arnen. "I was planning on attending, and it was my hope that you would join me."

"Who told you all this?" Arnen kept his excitement hidden; such was his way. But his voice was strained, and his need to know that all this was truth was shown by how tightly he gripped Gareth's shoulders.

Gareth laughed. "A former padawan of mine. Garen never could keep a secret." He kissed Arnen again, more deeply this time. "Now, will you stop using me as a life preserver? I'm losing feeling in my arms."

Arnen wrapped his arms tight around Gareth and lightly nipped his ear. "So we could be doing this with permission and without being penalized-"

"That's usually what having permission means, yes."

"Shut up." Arnen nipped his lover again, and Gareth groaned far back in his throat.

"Are you trying to make me excited?" the older man demanded.

"Yes, actually. I thought we'd celebrate." Arnen thrust his tongue into Gareth's mouth. "Do you agree?" he asked as he drew back.

"Completely." Gareth rolled on top of Arnen and there was no more talk.

oOo

Obi-Wan and Anakin stopped in the hallway where Annie's quarters were. Obi-Wan went to his daughter's door and pressed the chimes. A moment later, Annie's roommate, Crista, a tall and beautiful Calamarian who looked like a young version of Bant, answered the door. When she saw it was a Jedi Master and his padawan, she bowed to them. "Master Obi-Wan," she said.

He smiled at her. "Hello, Crista. How are you?"

She grinned. "I climbed the cliff in the Room of a Thousand Fountains without a cable and all by myself today!"

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "_All_ by yourself?"

"Just me and the Force."

He smiled. "I'm proud of you, young one."

Annie appeared behind Crista. "Master Obi-Wan," she said, bowing a little, though less than Crista had.

"Hello, Annie." Obi-Wan turned his eyes back to Crista, but he didn't speak yet. He seemed at a loss.

Anakin said, "Crista, do you want to see the next cliff you'll be climbing? It's huge."

She grinned, but looked to Obi-Wan. "Is it all right, Master Obi-Wan?"

He nodded. "It's all right with me." He glanced at Anakin and this passed between them: _Thank you, Padawan mine._

_Hey, I can't help it that I know your needs before you ask. _Anakin gestured for Crista to follow him, and soon they were around the next corner.

She stepped back. "Do you want to come in?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I can't. I just wanted to check on you, make sure you're well. I'm sure you've never seen anyone die before."

"I didn't actually watch him die," she said. "I'm all right. Wait here a minute." She retreated, and the door closed. When she reemerged, she was carrying the Force toy he'd given her years ago. "Do you remember this? You gave all of us one. I'm glad I kept it. I know Jedi aren't supposed to have possessions, but that means you won't ever be giving me any other presents."

"Your master will give you something when you turn thirteen, something to mark your padawanship." Obi-Wan sighed. "Annie, young one, our relationship can't change. This is part of the reason Qui-Gon and I never came to tell you. I'm sorry for any confusion this is going to cause you, but this knowledge is just knowledge; you and I have to choose how we're going to move past this."

She grimaced, a strange, alien expression on such a little girl. "It's not like you've come to see me much in the past. Nothing's really changed. I don't care if I ever see you."

Anger hadn't been what he'd wanted, and Obi-Wan tried to calm her. "Annie, the rules of the Order are there for a reason."

"Just like the rule that Jedi aren't allowed to love is there for a reason." She scowled. "And you broke that one just fine. Why can't you break this one?"

It was as if she'd punched him in the stomach, but the Force gave Obi-Wan the words he needed. "Nothing but pain and confusion can come from me trying to act as your father. I wouldn't be your master, but you would still have to act as though I was. Being with me would separate you from the other younglings and retard your growth along with them. I won't deprive you of all you still have to learn."

"But you insist that I call you father, don't you? And that I think of you as my father?"

Had he ever said that? Obi-Wan was sure he hadn't. "I would never ask that of you. If I'd had a choice, I would have kept your parentage a secret from you. There was no reason for both of us to suffer. Think of me as you always have: as another Jedi. That's all I ask."

Her expression softened and she reached out, touching his hand. "Does it hurt that you can't hold me or tuck me in?"

A parent's feelings, ones Obi-Wan had thought long dealt with, rose to the surface, and he sighed. "Yes, Annie, it hurts. But I knew this would come. Even though Qui-Gon and I were careful, we knew the risks." He smiled. "And despite the pain, I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so glad you came into this world. I would never wish it hadn't happened. I'm sorry for the pain and confusion I've brought into your life, but remember this: life is always a precious gift, and because the Force guides all our lives, you were, in a very real sense, meant to be here, and the Force has a purpose for your life, as It does for all of us."

She was quiet for a moment, then she smiled. "I'm sorry. I was making things worse." She squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. "I don't know if I can ever stop thinking of you as my father, but I'll ask the Force to help me." She tugged at Obi-Wan's hand until the master knelt, then she kissed his cheek. "Thank you for bringing me into the world."

Obi-Wan stood. "You're welcome, young one."

She bit her lip. "Will you call me 'daughter' once?"

He saw the raw need in her eyes, and because he saw it, he knew he couldn't honor her request. She wanted the simple request too badly. "I'm sorry, Annie. I can't. It wouldn't be right, and it would only cause you more pain in time."

To his surprise, she didn't look angry again. She sighed and nodded, letting go of his hand. "Good night, Master Obi-Wan. Thank you for coming to talk to me. I'll be all right. I promise."

Obi-Wan struggled to make these words with the anger he'd seen only a few moments ago. "Make sure you release all your pain into the Force," he said. "And if you ever need to talk, there are many Jedi who know you are my daughter now. They will help you. It wouldn't help to come to me because that would only deepen your pain. I'm sorry. I wish I could do more."

"You've done enough," she said. She stepped back, and the door closed between them.

Obi-Wan stood before the door for a moment, resisting the urge to say one more thing, then one more thing, to her. _Good-bye, my daughter. May the Force always be with you._

oOo

Twenty minutes later, after having returned Crista to her quarters and then taking a short walk themselves in the Room of Thousand Fountains, Obi-Wan and Anakin retired to their own quarters. Since neither of them had eaten all day, they moved into the kitchen. Anakin was glad he'd restocked the cupboards, making sure everything was fresh.

When they'd first made their home in these quarters, Obi-Wan had remodeled the kitchen to resemble that which Qui-Gon had used. Obi-Wan added a few modern conveniences, though, and it was to one of these that he went now. "What sort of fruit do we have? Fresh or dried; it doesn't matter." He flipped a switch and at once the churner heated up, ready for whatever he might add.

Anakin came up with bunches of ga'raps, three muja fruit, and a half dozen 'puls, all fresh, bought early that morning on the way back from the stone-woman's shop. Remembering that, Anakin realized what a long day it had really been, a day full of so much excitement that the padawan thought he'd sleep well tonight for the first time in a long time. Of course, having Obi-Wan home at last helped that. "Is this enough?" he asked, offering it all in the bowl it had been placed in.

Obi-Wan's eyes widened, and he grinned. "And when did you do this?"

"I went shopping this morning. After I found out you were coming back."

"You know me so well."

"I should; it was just us for the greater part of five years. I mean, even when we were here at Temple, we spent more time, just us, than with anyone else." He held up a hand as he handed Obi-Wan the fruit. "I know that's because I needed to grow and learn, but you can't deny we hardly ever visited with other Jedi."

"I don't deny it. Not in the least." Obi-Wan took the fruit to the churner and said, "Should I assume you have froth too?"

Anakin nodded though Obi-Wan wasn't looking at him, and went in search of the g'hoat byproduct Obi-Wan had started using in their cooking shortly after returning from Ragoon 6. The thick stuff, neither liquid nor solid, didn't look like much, but it tasted wonderful. "And do you want nuts?"

"Again, you read my mind." Without looking, Obi-Wan took the froth and set it aside. He began peeling and gutting the fruit.

Anakin paused in the midst of his hunt for the nuts to study Obi-Wan from behind. He could see through Obi-Wan's show of energy and efficiency to how tired, emotionally and physically, the older man really was. Anakin resisted the urge to ask Obi-Wan if he needed help. _If I can ever approach him, I need to do so with the knowledge that he's stronger than he looks. No misplaced overprotectiveness ever built a good relationship. _He grinned at himself, wondering where this rush of maturity had come from, but then the grin faded as he realized, _Just being near him is enough. Being with him makes me want to be more mature. Because he is so calm and composed in the midst of the upheaval of our lives. _Shaking his head, still grinning, Anakin went back to looking for the nuts he knew were around somewhere.

"Want to crush the nuts?" Obi-Wan asked as he sliced pieces of 'pul into the churner.

"Sure." Anakin got a knife and worked at the nuts, cutting them lengthwise, as Obi-Wan had taught him. Staring down at the nuts and at the neat cuts he was making, Anakin started to laugh.

Obi-Wan glanced over at him. "Share the joke, Padawan mine."

"When you were teaching me how to cook, did you do it because you wanted me to learn or because it was a way to keep my hands busy and my feet mostly still? I mean, you spent so long teaching me how to cut a proper nut wedge that I've fallen right back into that old habit, even though Master Zee and Master Reeft both did more eating out than cooking."

"I sincerely wanted you to learn, but keeping you focused on a task was a goal, yes. I wanted you to see small tasks, from painting to cooking, as only variations of flying, all equally engrossing and all good teaching tools." Obi-Wan dropped four dozen pieces of 'pul into the churner and started it. The noise was quiet, thanks to Anakin, who had fixed the motor because the volume frustrated Obi-Wan.

"Did you ever give up on my meditating as much as you do?"

"I never wanted you to meditate as much as I do. Force, I think only Yoda mediates as much as I do." Obi-Wan chuckled. "All I wanted for you was for you to find peace."

"You should have taught me about half-meditation. I find it much easier."

"Reeft taught you, did he? Good. I admit, I should have taught you, but I was under the impression that full meditation had to be understood first, because that's how it was with me. But then, you've always been an exception to most of the teaching rules I thought were firm and fast." He switched off the churner and chopped up a muja fruit. "I'm almost ready for the nuts. Are you finished over there?"

Anakin glanced down at the nuts and saw that he'd chopped them without realizing it. All the wedges were perfect. Grinning, he brought them to Obi-Wan. "See? You taught my hands something, anyway."

Obi-Wan poured the fruit mixture into two tall glasses, scooped froth on top of each, plopped a few ga'raps on top, then sprinkled nuts over all. "Let's only hope you remember how much you used to love this. If your tastes have changed- as they often do during the teenage years- this might have been a waste of time."

Anakin took his glass. "No. If I don't like it, you'll have breakfast for tomorrow."

Ten minutes later, the glasses were empty and everything had been washed up. The two of them were standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking across the common room to the little hallway and their rooms beyond. Anakin felt a deep and aching need in his heart, and he had to voice it, even though he knew he was taking a risk. "Obi?"

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at him.

"Can I sleep next to you? Like we used to do? Just for tonight?"

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment. "I can't promise I won't have dreams you won't want to be a part of, Padawan mine. I've been dreaming of Qui-Gon's death every night since he joined the Force. I could put up my shields, though, and then-"

"I want your shields down. I don't mind nightmares. I've had some, too. You're the one who told me they're normal, and if you talk about them and accept them as a part of life, they eventually go away." Anakin flushed. "We've been apart too long to have our shields up."

"Yes, that's true." Obi-Wan nodded to himself. "All right. Promise me this, though: if my nightmares wake you up, you'll wake me."

Anakin nodded. "Gladly. I wouldn't want you to have to face them alone."

Together, they started for the little hallway. Anakin ducked into his room and changed into his sleepwear, wearing the most covering and modest stuff he had. When he appeared in Obi-Wan's doorway, he was glad to see the old midnight blue sleepwear. He moved to the bed, and when Obi-Wan gestured for him to get between the sheets, he did.

Obi-Wan made himself comfortable atop the sheet and drew the coverlet over them both. "Good night, Anakin," he murmured.

Anakin grinned in the darkness. "Good night, Obi. Sweet dreams."

"And to you."

A position that should have been uncomfortable for them both- the bed wasn't exactly wide, and Anakin had grown quite a bit since they last shared it- wasn't. Within five minutes, both Jedi were deeply asleep.

Fear in the Night, and the Diplomat

Five hours before dawn, Obi-Wan woke. The physical world around him was almost silent, but the Force was alive with pain. He turned his eyes to his padawan, and saw Anakin's face in the dimness, pinched and afraid. Obi-Wan reached out through their bond and also put a hand on Anakin's shoulder. Gently, he shook Anakin and urged, aloud and in the Force, "Wake up, Padawan mine. Wake up. You're safe. Wake up."

Anakin moaned, and for a moment he clawed at Obi-Wan's hand on his shoulder. But when Obi-Wan didn't let go, only shaking him more firmly, Anakin's eyes opened. He blinked once, twice, then whispered, "Obi?" He shuddered strongly, and pushed himself up into Obi-Wan's waiting arms. He huddled against Obi-Wan, closing his eyes.

Obi-Wan rubbed Anakin's back and murmured soft, comforting words. He filled the Force around them with peace and directed it at Anakin. It occurred to him that, once, Anakin had done this for him. He sent the memory of that time, complete with Anakin's reaching out to the Light Force and drawing it near, to his padawan, and Anakin began to ease.

Anakin looked up. He hadn't cried, but the pain in his face had barely ebbed. He didn't speak, but seemed to be searching for something in Obi-Wan's gaze.

"Yes, Padawan mine?"

A shiver was Anakin's only answer.

"Tell me what you dreamed. It will help to talk."

Anakin shivered again. "It wasn't… It couldn't happen."

"That's a start," Obi-Wan said, gripping Anakin's shoulders. "What couldn't happen?"

"I couldn't feel my mother dying."

Obi-Wan felt icy fingers sink into his skin. He banished them with a thought, telling himself he was thinking too much about the reality of death. And while that was understandable, it wasn't a good idea just now. "Will you tell me the whole dream?"

"I… Why? It was just a dream."

"Why are you hesitating?"

The question brought Anakin up short. He looked down. "I didn't mean to, Obi. It's just… I could see her. She was so much pain… She was in a dark place, and she was dying. She called for me, and I wasn't there."

Anakin's fear was stronger than those words could ever convey, and Obi-Wan took one of Anakin's hands in his. "Let's reach out to the Force and find out how true this dream is?"

Anakin's eyebrows shot up. "You're not just going to dismiss this? It has no basis in fact, or in the Force."

"I've learned to listen to intuition as well as the Force. And that includes dreams and visions. Not all are true- what we discussed yesterday is proof of that- but it won't cost us anything to reach out to the Force and see if we can find out how true this dream is."

"If it's true, could we go save her?"

Strictly speaking, that wasn't allowed. Obi-Wan wondered if he would have the courage to pursue a personal mission against the wishes of the Council. _And it would be against everything I've learned about forming no attachments. _But Anakin had ever been an exception to the rules, and so there might be some argument for helping him here. "We might be able to," he said, "but let's find out first if we need to."

Anakin grinned. "Really?"

Obi-Wan nodded. He closed his eyes and reached out to the Force. After a moment, Anakin joined him, and together they asked the Force if the dream was true. They asked the same question for an hour without receiving an answer, but at last the reply came back: _Shmi Skywalker is safe._

Emerging from the trance, Anakin still looked uneasy. "But why would I dream something like that?"

"For the same reason I have bad dreams about losing Qui-Gon: she's on your mind, and your fears play out in your sleep." He urged Anakin to lay back down. "Go back to sleep, Padawan mine. The Force says she is well."

"I'd like to free her. She doesn't deserve to be a slave." But Anakin was laying back down.

"I can't see how we could find the money to help her, Anakin."

The younger man raised an eyebrow. "We? Don't you mean me?"

"If you decided you needed to free her, I wouldn't leave you on your own."

"But you'd get in trouble."

"So would you. So what?" Obi-Wan didn't feel quite as cavalier as he sounded, but he knew there was truth in his statement: he wouldn't leave Anakin to face anything alone if he could help it. "Worse comes to worse, I'd be demoted back to a Knight and your Trials would be pushed back a few years." And when he spoke those words, Obi-Wan realized that what he'd named _was_ the worst that could happen, at least in terms of tangible punishment. The Council wouldn't do more than that, not for a simple lone-wolf adventure. But… "No, that's not the worst. For me, having Yoda disappointed would be the worst, no matter how much I was punished."

Anakin caught Obi-Wan's hand in his. "I'm not going to disobey the Council," he said. "The Force says she's all right; I'll believe. Try to, anyway."

"Keep trying, and you will believe eventually."

Anakin nodded. Turning on his side, he snuggled close to Obi-Wan. For awhile, he couldn't relax enough to sleep, but at last, sleep took him.

Obi-Wan sat up the rest of that might, reaching out to the Force, still asking the same question: _Is Shmi Skywalker all right? _

And, just as It had before, the Force answered, _She's fine._

But beneath Obi-Wan's asking lay a turbulent sea of pain, with little waves of anguish and grief and loss cresting here and there. Obi-Wan banished each as it came, and each went, but more and more remained. Stubbornly, Obi-Wan kept banishing them one at a time, refusing to break down and handle them all at once. _I can defeat my grief little by little, _he told himself. _And even if I can't, I need to try, because Anakin has already had one nightmare; it wouldn't be right for me to wake him up with my pain._

oOo

Anakin came awake the next morning with a queasy feeling in his stomach. Groaning, he rolled over, unconsciously reaching for the man who should have been beside him. Obi-Wan wasn't right there, and Anakin, still asleep, reached a little further, and a bi further still, until half his arm was off the bed. With a start, he came fully awake. Sorrow raced through him. _A dream. It was just a dream. Obi-Wan's not back. He's still on Dagobah. _He loosed a dry sob, then smothered it against the mattress. He didn't wan Reeft to hear. Reeft was already doing everything he could to make the time pass more quickly; he didn't need to know how much his temporary padawan was suffering.

Curling into himself, Anakin reached out to the Force, asking it to calm him, comfort him. Sometimes this worked, and sometimes he was too worked up for the Force to just take the pain away in one fell swoop. This morning was most likely one of those second kind of circumstances. _Obi-Wan said all I have to do is tackle the pain piece by piece. _But he was so tired of taking his grief apart in order to get rid of it. _Can't I just say I miss Obi-Wan and be done with it?_

The pain didn't go away; if anything, it seemed to intensity.

_Anakin! _The sound of running feet accompanied the welcome voice in the padawan's mind, and Anakin was up and across the room before his hope had time enough to flare.

Obi-Wan stood in the doorway, and he caught Anakin as the boy all but flew into his arms. "Sh. Sh. I'm here. It's all right."

Anakin felt the tears starting, and trying to keep them back only made things worse. He sobbed, a harsh, ugly sound that made him want to sink into the carpet and disappear, taking his embarrassment with him. And when he swallowed and tried to speak…. "Obi-" his voice cracked like it had when he was fifteen. Anakin tried to pull away and hide his face. He didn't want Obi-Wan to see how childish he looked. _He's already heard it- there's no way he'll think of me as an adult after this. And if he can't think of me as an adult, he could never take my love seriously._

Here is where Anakin's natural stubbornness saved him: _Fine. He won't be able to see e as an adult right away, but I'm still growing, and it's not like I'm even a senior padawan yet. I still have lots of time to prove that I'm grown up. He won't be ready for my advances for months, maybe even a year. In that time, I'll convince him._

But this assertion did nothing to ease his embarrassment now.

Obi-Wan wouldn't let Anakin draw back more an a couple of inches. And when Anakin tried to turn his face away, Obi-Wan said, "Anakin, please."

Helpless to do anything else, so glad to hear that voice, Anakin obeyed. He opened his mouth to speak, fearing he would crack again, but desperately wanting to apologize, and to explain that he knew his reaction wasn't Jedi-like.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Wait, Anakin. Breathe."

Anakin did, a shallow breath. Again, he opened his mouth.

A raised, auburn eyebrow stopped him.

Blushing even more fiercely, Anakin took a real breath, a deep one. He let in out slowly. His heartbeat was starting to slow, but Anakin knew he could do better. He took another breath, and a third. When at last he let out this final deep breath, he felt the world righting itself and reason taking over for emotion. Even his embarrassment was less. He looked to Obi-Wan for permission to speak.

"Go ahead."

"I woke up and thought yesterday was a dream. I've dreamed of you being here so many times that when I woke up and you weren't beside me, all I could think was that it had been another dream. It hurt when I thought you weren't here again." He hesitated, but the gentle understanding in Obi-Wan's eyes gave him courage. "Hurt isn't a strong enough word. Sometimes, when I would wake from a dream of you being here, I had to cry. Because I knew you weren't back, and the dream had been so good…" He blushed again, and hoped Obi-Wan wouldn't guess why. Most of Anakin's dreams hadn't been about the two of them sitting and talking. "I should have reached out to the Force, or at least remembered that you were definitely here yesterday."

"Unless you have been trained to pass directly from sleep to wakefulness, that time between can be disconcerting, to say the least. Logic doesn't rule that time, because that's when reality and dreams meet and mix. I can teach you that. And it's partly my fault for not being here. It's barely dawn; I didn't think you would be awake yet."

"I've been waking up really early." Anakin looked away, then immediately back. "Sometimes staying awake was the only way to fight the dreams." Another hesitation, then, "I didn't have a lot of nightmares while I was with Master Reeft. I know he would have helped me if I asked."

"We can work through any nightmares together." Obi-Wan's smile was small, rueful. "For now, I'll make sure that I'm nearby when you wake up."

Anakin hesitated. He knew they weren't done here. Something unspoken lay between them, and he didn't know what it was or how to ask about it. Instead, he took a step back and waited.

Obi-Wan gazed at him for a moment, then he said, "Come sit down," and he led Anakin into the common room. The two of them settled themselves on the couch just like they had the day before. But the giddy happiness and relief were gone. The unspoken thing hummed between them. "The Force has told me, several times, that your mother is well."

"You asked again?" This wasn't the 'thing' but it was a relief to talk. Anakin shifted a hair closer.

"I wanted to make sure. When I was a padawan, I often asked a question of the Force fifty times in a single night, just to make sure the answer wasn't going to change." Obi-Wan relaxed enough to laugh. "I guess you could say I was obsessed with having the right answer, knowing that that I was reading the information right. Qui-Gon once said-" He stopped, closed his eyes.

"What is it?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I miss him. Even saying his name hurts." He sighed. "Forgive me, Anakin. I went to Dagobah to become a stronger Jedi, a better master, and when I come back, I'm unable to take care of you."

Anakin wanted to say, "You can let go. Let me hold you," but he knew this wasn't the time. His heart told him that soon Obi-Wan would have to cry, and Anakin vowed he would be there to help, but he also vowed to wait until Obi-Wan was ready. Anakin remembered how so many people had pushed him during the last two and a half years, how they had talked so much about Obi-Wan that Anakin felt physically sick with longing. They'd just been trying to help, but Anakin knew about the time when help became too much help. So he said nothing and waited to see if Obi-Wan would pull himself together one more time, or drop the shields he kept, not around his mind, but around his heart.

And in that moment of waiting, he knew what the 'thing' was between them: it was an unspoken but very large barrier. Anakin's side was labeled 'apprentice' and Obi-Wan's side was labeled 'master'. In so many places, the barrier had been whittled down to almost nothing. Out of necessity, they often worked more as partners than a master/padawan team. But now Anakin realized that the barrier between them in this one area was stronger than anywhere else. Obi-Wan had freely conceded that Anakin was a talented flier, that Anakin was an expert with machines. And he gladly shared those duties with Anakin, not caring who seemed to be the more skilled as long as the job got done. But in the area of emotional pain, Obi-Wan still believed that it was his job to help Anakin and hide his own pain.

It hurt to think that this one wall remained between them, but Anakin had a feeling this one would crumble soon. Obi-Wan was in agony; that much was obvious. And who understood him better than his padawan? None other, except probably Yoda, because Obi-Wan had spent most of his time with Anakin during the first five years of the boy's padawanship. In a very real sense, Anakin had been Obi-Wan's only connection to the Jedi.

Obi-Wan stood. "Are you hungry? I was making breakfast when you called."

Anakin rose also. He knew he wasn't really hungry, and he doubted if Obi-Wan would be able to swallow much, but he would play along for now. "Do you want me to set the table?" _That'll give him a minute to compose himself._

The look Obi-Wan gave him was full of understanding. "Thank you," he said, and he disappeared into the kitchen.

Anakin went to the table and, finding the plates and silverware already there, though just stacked, he set to laying them out. He also called the bouquet of Correllian rooshes to be the table's centerpiece. _He understood why I volunteered to set the table. He knows I'm watching out for him. _In a way, that was comforting; as deep in his own grief was, Obi-Wan was still sensitive to Anakin's mood and motivations, like a good master should be.

But there was no telling how much Obi-Wan truly understood. If he gleaned so much from their conversations when he was in such pain, how much would he understand about Anakin when he wasn't distracted? Would he know about Anakin's love before Anakin had a chance to pick a time for them to talk? And if he did, would that only rebuild some of the walls as he tried to keep Anakin out, keep their partnership unequal and more like that of other master/padawan teams? Anakin feared the answer to that would be yes. Obi-Wan was many things, but inattentive to the feelings of others around him he was not. In less than a year, he'd changed from the intense, yet shy and judgmental padawan to a master with a heart and mind as open as Qui-Gon's, though Obi-Wan tempered his with caution.

Obi-Wan set the two small bowls of warm and steaming o'ts on the table. He'd chosen light fare, and Anakin realized Obi-Wan knew that he, Anakin, too, wasn't really in the mood to eat. O'ts would go down easily enough, though.

They ate in silence, and Obi-Wan scarcely looked at Anakin, though he didn't stare down at his food, either. Instead, his eyes were focused on the wall, and he seemed to eat mechanically: dip the spoon, lift the spoon, empty the spoon, dip the spoon.

Anakin could almost see Obi-Wan straining to keep the thoughts and anguish inside. The padawan was almost tempted to say something about Qui-Gon, just to get Obi-Wan started. Then, hating himself for even thinking such a thing when he knew first hand the pain it would bring, Anakin turned his thoughts to only being ready when Obi-Wan needed him.

Towards the end of the meal, Obi-Wan's gaze shifted, and he saw the rooshes. With a hand that wasn't quite steady, he reached out to touch the blooms. "Did you pick these yesterday?"

Anakin nodded. "They were Reeft's idea."

Obi-Wan smiled. "The only flower I've ever said I liked." He shook his head. "I said that when Reeft and I were only six. It's amazing he still remembers." A pause. "Seeing them is like coming home."

Anakin felt a touch of jealousy, but then he squashed it. Obi-Wan was acting as if he might want to go see Reeft, and ask Anakin to stay out for a while. Swallowing his hurt feelings, Anakin asked, "Do you want to go see Master Reeft? I can do my class work here while you're gone."

Obi-Wan blinked, and genuine surprise was in his gaze. "Eventually, you and I will go speak with him about the training he put you through, but… All I want right now is to stay here." He stood and started into the kitchen with his bowl. Just before he disappeared into the other room, he turned. "Thank you for the rooshes. Nothing quite says home like they do."

Anakin stood, warmed all the way through by those simple words, and by Obi-Wan's acknowledgement of him. He tossed his jealous feelings over his shoulder without looking back, took up his bowl, and stepped into the kitchen.

Obi-Wan was scraping what little was left of his breakfast into the garbage. "I thought we'd start with a kata. That will bring us back into sync with each other, and will promote the Force-connection we'll use later to half-meditate. Reeft and I probably have different ways of approaching that state. If you'll show me his, I'll show you mine and we can both decide which works better for each of us."

Anakin brought his bowl to the counter, meaning to clean it himself, but Obi-Wan took it with a murmured, "Thank you." Anakin stepped back, filled with a sudden and driving need to wrap his arms around Obi-Wan. He hesitated, weighed his needs against Obi-Wan's, and realized that fulfilling his need might help Obi-Wan recognize and acknowledge his own. "Obi-Wan?"

His master turned, leaving the bowls. He started to speak, then stopped. Instead, he opened his arms, and Anakin came into them.

Obi-Wan's chin rested easily against Anakin's shoulder, and Anakin had to resist the urge to reach up and stroke the older man's hair. "I know I don't have to say it anymore, but I can't help it," the padawan said. "I missed you. Every day. Every minute, it felt like. I could only get away from thoughts of you when I was flying. Nothing else worked. Until Reeft came and started working with me. Being with him was almost like being with you. He didn't say your name a hundred times a day like Zee did- Master Zee- but he spoke of you in what he did, in the way he helped me through things." Anakin tightened his embrace. "But it wasn't just like having you. Nothing could be that good." He stopped his wagging tongue, not wanting to betray anything, and closed his eyes, inhaling Obi-Wan's discreet scent and savoring it.

"Each morning when I woke alone, the Force had to help me guide my thoughts away from sorrow and towards the reason I was on Dagobah: strengthening my connection to the Force." Obi-Wan drew back and met Anakin's gaze. Anakin could see his throat working. "I longed for you and Qui-Gon in equal measure."

That was more than Obi-Wan had ever confessed, and Anakin's heart ached. He'd thought he would have enjoyed hearing such a thing, but just to know that Obi-Wan was in so much pain for so long… _And now he'll never get the chance to tell Qui-Gon how much he loved him or missed him. _"He knew how much you loved him. He knew everything you needed him to know. And he loved you."

Obi-Wan's throat was working again. He blinked twice, then closed his eyes, hiding himself away. When he opened his eyes again, he said, "Thank you." He started to pull away, then waited. "Are you all right, Padawan mine?"

Anakin nodded. "For now." He blushed. "I think I'm going to need that again."

"Just say when. Comfort isn't a bad thing." Still, Obi-Wan didn't step back.

Anakin knew he had to do it, and he did, releasing Obi-Wan. "Which…" His throat tightened and he cleared it. "Which kata should we do?"

"Ten, I think." Obi-Wan stepped towards the middle of the common room and sat down there, offering Anakin a silent invitation.

Anakin moved to sit beside Obi-Wan, but then the chimes to their quarters sounded.

Obi-Wan rose and went to the door, Anakin trailing after.

The door opened, and Reeft stood there with Garen, Siri, Bant and Nela. "It's time for the General Assembly," Reeft said. But his eyes were on Obi-Wan, looking for hidden pain, seeking a way to help.

Anakin felt a flash of irritation. _Can't you just leave him to me? _he wanted to demand. _I can take good care of him if you'll just leave us be. _He stepped up close behind Obi-Wan, offering silent support, knowing Obi-Wan would be able to sense him there, maybe be able to take strength from his silent presence.

"Later, Reeft, please," Obi-Wan said, his voice low. He sounded dispirited and exhausted. "We'd better head down."

Anakin saw the flickers of concern on the faces of the four Jedi who still stood in the hallway, and he empathized with them. _Still, if you let me handle it, I know I can reach him. _The fact that he hadn't made much progress so far didn't bother him much, except that the longer Obi-Wan refused to let go, the greater the hurt would be when he finally did.

"We have half an hour," Garen said. "We wanted to talk with you."

Siri said, "You promised."

"Yes, but… Does it have to be now?" He smiled a little. "I sound like a child who doesn't want to go to bed."

"Let Nela and Anakin head down," Siri said. "We must talk to you." Her jaw was set, and she would brook no argument.

Anakin spoke up then, his need to defend Obi-Wan overruling his judgment. "You only have half an hour. Any good talking is going to take a lot longer." He sensed Obi-Wan's gratitude through their bond, and even heard an, _I owe you, Padawan mine._

Siri grimaced, but Garen heaved a sigh. "All right, Obi-Wan. You win. For now. But after the Assembly, you'll be holding up your part of this deal. None of your healing on Dagobah is going to do any good unless it continues."

"Very well." Obi-Wan turned to Anakin. "Would you mind starting down without me anyway? We'll be along in under five minutes."

_Not long enough for them to drag it all out of him. _Anakin felt guilty for wanting to keep Obi-Wan's healing to himself, but he pushed the guilt away. "Yes, Master." He bowed, moved out past Obi-Wan, and gestured for Nela to go with him. After glancing at her own master, she followed him.

oOo

"The next time you're going to remind me of my duty and bring up my pain, would you mind not doing so in front of two padawans?" Obi-Wan faced his four friends in his quarters. "The last thing I want to do is push you all away when you've remained so loyal to me while I've had to be distant, and having the four of you as my friends has meant the world to me, but it's hard enough for me to convince Anakin that I need to maintain a certain distance so that I can help him without having my problems laid out so effectively."

"And what sort of distance are you trying to maintain?" Bant asked. "The kind that- forgive me, Obi-Wan- but the kind of distance Qui-Gon kept with you until you were fifteen or so?"

"I remember how much you hated that distance," Garen said. "It drove you nuts that he kept all the painful parts of his past life hidden away, and that he would only ask your help with things like fixing a speeder or making the evening meal."

Siri added, "Who are you trying to protect: Anakin, or yourself?"

Reeft just had to chime in with: "All he's wanted since you've been gone is to be close to you again. You let him share the painful parts of your life before you left; what stupid voice on Dagobah told you that things have to be different now that you're back? You told him- before you told anyone else, I'll bet- about what Xanatos did to you, and he certainly learned about ber'Nac long before the rest of us, even before Qui-Gon or Yoda. If you can share with him the horrors you've lived through, why can't you share your grief with him?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Simple. He misses Qui-Gon too. How can I ask him to put his grief aside and help me?"

"Is that what you're doing?" Garen asked. "And all this time I thought that by sharing with him, you'd be helping him to share his pain, too."

"And it's time for Anakin to grow up," Reeft said. "While you were away, he grew in skills, but not much in the way of overall maturity."

"That's ridiculous," Obi-Wan said. "I've never seen a more confident and composed sixteen-year-old in all my life. Anakin makes none of the radical leaps of poor judgment that all of us made at that age."

"Just because he hides what he thinks doesn't mean he doesn't have the thoughts," Reeft answered. "Besides, he still makes the mistakes we did. What do you call sneaking out of our quarters to go tell you that he wouldn't be able to talk to you for a little while? That's a sweet thing, a nice thing for a padawan to do for his master, but neither safe or completely innocent. He clings to you, Obi-Wan, and you know enough to know that's hardly a sign of maturity." He shook his head. "And you've only been back for less than a day. I'd be willing to bet Anakin's been acting perfect and mature not just because he misses you, but because he never wants you to go away again."

"My leaving wasn't his fault. He surely knows that/"

"_You're_ sure, but who's to say he is?" Garen said. "Think about it, Obi-Wan. You were raped by the Dark Force while you were working with Anakin. If I was a kid, I'd probably think the whole thing was my fault, even if I knew better."

Obi-Wan paled. "He can't think that was his fault!"

"Why not?" Siri demanded. "You thought for the longest time that Tahl's death was your fault, even though there was nothing you or Qui-Gon could have done to save her. If you could think like that at sixteen, what's to stop Anakin from making the same 'radical leap of poor judgment'?"

"But he wasn't even there." Still, Obi-Wan seemed to be coming around. He closed his eyes for a moment. "I can talk to him about it, but if he's anything like me, he won't forgive himself quickly. Qui-Gon never tried to help me through that; I have no model to follow. What can I do to talk him out of it?"

"Share yourself with him," Bant said. "Let him help you in this. That won't help directly, but the more you open up to him, the more he'll have to measure himself against. You're not just his guide, Obi-Wan; you're a mirror. He looks to you and sees himself, what he can do about bad things that happen, and what he can't."

"And just now, I'm going against everything I ever taught him by holding everything in, waiting for a time when he won't be around, even though I don't want to leave him for any reason." He barked a short laugh. "It was even hard to send him with Nela just now."

"We all saw that," Garen said. He took a step closer and touched Obi-Wan's arm. "We can go find them now, as long as you promise to talk to Anakin, and to realize that he's still a sixteen-year-old boy in need of much experience and growth. And if you promise to do that, we won't bother you so often. One or more of us will drop by to make sure you're sharing with him like you should be, but we'll do our best not to intrude."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I'll give this over." His voice roughened, and he coughed. "Force knows I need to let go. Even though I did that on Dagobah, it wasn't enough."

"There's a difference between letting fresh grief out, and releasing deep, lasting grief," Bant said.

"There I'll never dispute you." Obi-Wan straightened his shoulders. "Let's go."

Three minutes later, they joined Anakin and Nela, who had chosen to sit on the second tier, not far from where Yoda and the rest of the Council were just now finding their places. Both padawans rose.

Obi-Wan gestured for Anakin to come stand beside him, and in a low voice, the master said, "I'm going to need your help after the Assembly. I need someone to share my grief with, and because you've always been there for me…" He stopped. It was harder than he'd thought to say the words. "Will you help me, Anakin? We can share our grief and thereby make it less."

"Anything, Obi." Anakin met the older man's gaze. "You always help me; I want to help you."

"Not always, Padawan mine. These last two years-"

"These last two years, thinking about what you would do in many situations, has helped me dispel anger. I studied some of the missions you and Qui-Gon were on, and I learned new things about negotiating and diplomacy. You've helped more than you know."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan nodded back towards the chairs. "Shall we?"

"Master Obi-Wan, sit by me will you?" Yoda was standing near his chair. "Bring your padawan you may."

Anakin raised an eyebrow at Obi-Wan, who gave him a discreet shrug. The two fo them made their way to the seats Yoda indicated. Around them, the Council filled in their places. Mace sat on Yoda's other side.

oOo

Yoda rose, commanding the attention of all those in the large room. He looked around, taking in the masters sitting with their padawans, the knights, in the next section, and the younglings sitting with their teachers. Only the younglings ten years or older were there, and there were few of these. Most had decided, or had it decided for them, that they need not attend this assembly. Yoda saw also that some Jedi were missing, but over ninety-five percent of the Order was present. Pleased, he raised a hand to stop all murmurs, and when all eyes were on him, he began to speak. "Called all of you together the Council has because discuss a tradition we must. A difference between tradition and need exists. Our need is to follow the Force, and all smaller needs directly connected to that need are. Focus is a need. Dedication is a need. Compassion is a need."

He frowned, looking around at all those gathered there, waiting for him to speak to the real reason of this gathering. Yoda knew himself well enough to feel his hesitation, and he knew he wasn't quite ready to speak of breaking this tradition, no matter that he thought it was necessary. _But whether ready or not I am, the time come has._

"The ban against two Jedi being in love a tradition is."

A brief rustle of activity, quickly stilled.

"When banned love was between Jedi, for a reason this was. Ready the Jedi were not for the challenges of love." His frown deepened. "Because love between two Jedi felt must be _after_ devotion to the Force. When made this ban was, unable to follow that creed most Jedi were. And so banned love was."

_Now the hard part comes. _"Some Jedi were still allowed to love, if prove to the Council they could that obey the Force first they were still able. But kept secret this was, so that only those, it was believed, who truly served the Force first, approach the Council would. Worked well this did, except that excluded many it has.

"Fifty years ago, approached the Council Mace and I did."

Again, that shocked rustling.

"Approved our love was." Yoda glanced at Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan stood as if they'd developed a signal. Yoda waited.

"Almost twelve years ago, Qui-Gon and I fell in love," Obi-Wan said, his voice quiet, yet carrying to all ears. "We hid our love for four years, until I had completely lost my connection with the Living Force and was losing the same with the Unifying Force. Qui-Gon lost all connection to the Unifying Force. For a while, he had been able to balance each other, but now the balance was impossible." A pause. "Most of you know that Padawan ber'Nac attacked me in the anteroom off the Council Chamber. But I'm guessing most of you don't know that he raped me several times before that."

It was more than a rustling this time; there was a repressed muttering of outrage.

Obi-Wan held up a hand. "I did everything I could to hide what ber'Nac was doing. I agreed to take his abuse. He had learned that Qui-Gon and I were in love, and he threatened to tell the Council." A slight pause, and Obi-Wan even managed a small, rueful smile. "I tried to take matters into my own hands. Convinced that I could save Qui-Gon on my own, without telling anyone or reaching out to the Force, I gave myself. Each time I submitted to him, I lost more and more of my ability to hear the Force.

"Mistakes like this are most of the reason love between two Jedi was denied for so long. I was raised by the same principles all of you are familiar with: trust, dedication, compassion, belief that the Council is here to guide us in our journey with the Force. But no teacher can anticipate what his or her student will take from each lesson, or that any student will follow the right path.

"So, allowing love to happen is dangerous. Chancy. It could lead to loss of Jedi, or a Jedi suffering abuse, or even a disaster that encompasses everyone at Temple. But there is another side to love." His smile was fuller now. "You knew there would be, or this meeting would have never been called." He glanced at Yoda.

_Wish me to continue does he? But doing a fine job he is. _"Speak on," Yoda murmured.

Obi-Wan blinked, but then turned his eyes back to the listening Jedi. "For any Jedi who have felt love but denied themselves, you'll already know all of what I'm about to say. For those of you who haven't yet been in love, and haven't considered the possibilities, listen close. If you love someone, your love for them can work in concert with the Force, sharpening your senses to that other's mental voice, helping you protect him or her. Being in love as a Jedi is a great and powerful gift that you give to the one you love, to the Order, and to all those you meet."

He smiled. "I can see the thought in your eyes: love being a help to the one you love, makes sense to you. But the other two are a mystery. Take the first: love is a help to other Jedi. Have you ever been exhausted after a stream of missions, and the only thing that sounds good to you just then is getting back to the Temple and resting for a time?" He waited, and when several Jedi nodded, he went on, "Imagine that sense of rejuvenation multiplied by a hundredfold. That's how it always was for me. Even though I spent most of my time with Qui-Gon, since we were on missions together, we could never let our guard long enough on a mission to exchange more than a thought. Here at Temple, we could talk, hold hands, and-" he colored slightly, but didn't look away from any of those before him- "do all the other, physical things couples do. Being at Temple quickly turned form a place of rest and renewal to a place that included, with those two wonders, unparalleled warmth and happiness. Having these four benefits, and so many others that I haven't mentioned, but that I'm sure you would discover, makes you stronger when you must go out and fight, or go out to make peace and save lives. Not jus stronger in your body, because there's nothing like sleeping in your lover's arms to encourage deep and refreshing rest, but in your mind and heart. All the masters and knights surely know what I'm talking about when I say that we can always reach out to the Force, but that it's easier to reach out when you're not distracted by thoughts of things done or left undone. Having a lover to talk to is even better in some ways- forgive me, Master Yoda- than speaking to an older member of the Order, because when you speak o a lover, he or she knows you inside and out, sometimes knowing your anguish or frustration or fear before you can name it yourself." He paused, closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. "A hundred times, Qui-Gon has named my pain before I knew it myself. That could be because I was a padawan during so much of our relationship, but how do you explain those times when I knew his suffering and was able to touch on it without his knowing? Friendship between two Jedi can bring some of the understanding I'm talking about, but not all. When you live with someone, day in and day out, when you share their bed, their dreams, their nightmares, you learn how to strengthen them and hold them up when they're tired. And what makes two Jedi stronger, healthier, more attuned to the Force and less vulnerable to the distractions of pain or anguish makes us all more ready to face the Darkness that wants to press in on us.

"Take with me now, if you will, the last improvement I mentioned: that between you and those you meet on missions. None of them need to know you're in love, and your lover doesn't even need to be there. When you are in love, it shows. In your face, in your actions. Some of you know Dex, who runs the diner down near 500 Republica. He's known me since I was eight years old. Two months after falling in love with Qui-Gon, I went to Dex's Diner. Qui-Gon wasn't with me. I walked in, Dex saw me, and he said, 'Who's become the new sun in your sky, Obi-Wan?' I couldn't tell him, but it was amazing to realize that he knew at once how I'd been changed. And it doesn't just happen with those you've known for years. On mission to save a witness to a crime and bring her back here to Coruscant to testify, she asked me what put such life and compassion in my eyes. Again, I couldn't tell her all, though I told her the Force had a lot to do with it. And she said, 'You know what it's like to love the galaxy you're in. I trust you.'

"There are dangers to love, and you've heard them. Now you know many of the advantages to love. The Council will still guide us, but now they will guide us in love, if we think we're in love." His face grew grave. "To love is a test of our dedication to the Force. To love is a trial greater than the Trials. To love is to run the risk of losing someone closer to you than a friend.

"One more thing before I go," he said after a moment's silence. "When you love someone, you may have children. Qui-Gon and I were careful, but we had two children. Lindi Jinn-Kenobi died even before she was born, but the youngling Annie Jenn is our daughter. It was hard for us, when we discovered I was pregnant-"

Shocked murmurs, and the widening of many eyes.

"-because we feared at first that she might not be Force sensitive, and then that she would be. We planned to give her to a friend of ours who wanted a child if Annie wasn't Force sensitive. And when she was born with the Force singing strong in her blood, we grieved to give her up to the Temple, even though both of us believe that to be a Jedi is the greatest duty any Force-sensitive can undertake. Because we would never rock her to sleep again, or hold her hand, or teach her directly. And we couldn't tell her who her parents were until it was time. The time came sooner than either of us thought- she learned about a week ago about us- and still the struggle is not over with. I will never get to feel the pride of a father, even though she is my flesh and blood. That might be the hardest part of falling in love. And no contraceptive is safe."

He bowed his head, breathed in, breathed out. When he looked at those around him, sorrow and joy were equally mixed in his eyes. "Love isn't for everyone. I doubt-" his voice broke- "I doubt I will ever love again. Even in the Force, which makes it possible for me to go on after his death, I don't know if I could ever lose another lover." His joy shone forth like a beacon. "But I will never regret what we shared. The love I shared with Qui-Gon has changed me, made me stronger, and I know the sun he put in my sky will never fade."

He bowed to all of them, turned to Yoda and bowed to him. Then he regained his seat.

Applause broke out all around him, starting with his padawan, then Yoda, then his closest friends and the Council. A breath later, every Jedi was clapping. Then, again led by Anakin, all those to their feet. They kept clapping, and Obi-Wan, embarrassed, but also secretly pleased, looked at all of them and said, softly, "Thank you. But it all needed to be said."

"True," Garen said, "but you managed to say it."

oOo

A thousand concerns were flung at Chancellor Palpatine each day, but none of them ever truly touched him. Most concerns were petty things that had no effect on who he really was, or his master plan. Many called the chancellor 'unflappable' and 'composed' and 'confident' but that was only because Palpatine knew what Yoda knew: most of the day-to-day dealings of the Republic didn't matter to the Force, and it was the Force that must be listened to. But unlike Yoda, who could see the working of the Force in small things, Palpatine didn't bother to look. Each time he turned his eyes to the small inner workings of the vast power that he headed, he saw only skittering ants, creatures of hardly any use, creatures that he wouldn't bother to step around.

No one knew how he felt. He was also called 'benevolent' and 'caring'; everyone spoke of his greatness. Or, at least everyone he listened to spoke of his greatness. The fact that Yoda did not do this was of no concern; Palpatine saw Yoda as another ant, though one a little larger, one that might give him a nasty sting if he wasn't nice to it occasionally, and threw it a leaf or two every one in a while.

Today, the chancellor was sitting in his office, half-listening to his advisors talking about the corruption in the Senate. They weren't greatly stressed or concerned, but they mentioned that Bail Organa and Padme Amidala had been visiting the Jedi Council and stirring up some of the Senators. These two busybodies had been discussing the possibility of having a 'security officer' of sorts, someone who could help put a lid on the corruption. And they'd even come up with the idea of asking a Jedi to work closely with the Senate-appointed officer to help find corruption and put an end to it.

These concerns didn't greatly bother Palpatine; he could easily ensure that a weak-minded or corruptible officer was in charge of the Senate, and he'd make doubly sure that the Jedi appointed was someone young and inexperienced, someone who, while able to sense corruption, wouldn't know how to bring it to anyone's attention. And if Yoda couldn't be tricked into that, then Palpatine would simply keep the notion in committees forever. Committees just somehow solved the problems of the universe.

Abruptly, his attention was caught by something that came from outside himself and yet mostly inside himself. The Dark Force was trying to speak to him. Palpatine tuned out completely to the worries of his advisors and listened to the voice in his mind. At first, it teased him by refusing to speak, but when he commanded it, it came, and he nodded to himself. He would never be anything's servant; everything would serve him, even the Force. That, he'd always believed, was the ultimate failing of the Jedi: they would rather be servants than leaders. That was why they had no true leader, and why they couldn't seem to make themselves more powerful, even as they talked of being able to change countless lives with the help of the Force. The only way to really change lives was to make those around you subject to what you wanted. When others did as you asked, then you could change lives. The Force only _led _people. Wasn't it so much more effective to, pardon the pun, _force _others to do as you wanted?

The Dark Force spoke, and Palpatine frowned as it spoke. _Danger to the goal. The Jedi are planning something._

Palpatine's frown deepened. _What danger? What are they planning?_

But on that score, there was no answer.

_Well. The Jedi are planning something. That's nothing new. But if it's reached me, then it may be something more than usual. _He grimaced. _What, then? Are they finally going to try and seize power? _They could; he knew there were possibly enough Jedi to do that, and Palpatine's plans weren't far enough along to be safe from tampering or derailment.

Seizing power would ultimately make the Jedi love power, and thus they would be corruptible. But until that happened, they could cause some serious problems. Palpatine planned to be around when the Dark Force took over, and that couldn't quite be counted on if the Jedi made a move too soon.

The Dark Force wouldn't tell him if his suspicions were correct, and his irration flared. _What are they planning?_

But the only answer was: _It will come soon. They will make their first play soon._

Fine. So the Jedi were going to make a bold new move. Palpatine vowed he would be ready to face it. He would face it, try to diffuse it if he could, or render it ineffective. The Jedi didn't know who he was, but he knew everything about their essential nature, and their weaknesses. Therein lay his greatest advantage.

Resolved, he turned his mind back to the worries of his advisors, and now he gave it greater attention. Here could be what the Jedi were planning, and if he could redirect it, confuse them, he could still stop them. Nodding to himself, he smiled at his advisors and said, "Forgive me, gentlemen. It has been a very trying day. Will you return to your thoughts about the Jedi's role in all this? They are, of course, our allies, but they don't understand the Republic as we do. They are like children that need to be guided so that they will not make mistakes, hurt themselves, or hurt others."

And, in the back of his mind, the Dark Force whispered, _They will make their move soon._

oOo

Obi-Wan and Anakin arrived at the Council Chamber, having been given time enough after the Assembly to eat. Obi-Wan hadn't eaten much of anything, but he had tried. Anakin had watched him with growing concern. He could see so much of himself, and of his struggles over the past two years, in the way Obi-Wan was behaving. Obi-Wan's earlier promise to reveal his grief to Anakin and have Anakin share it gave the padawan little hope. They were being called to the Council Chamber: didn't that mean they were going to be sent on a mission? And when had a mission ever allowed them to talk about anything besides basic Jedi tenets? Never, as far as Anakin could remember. Much of who Obi-Wan was involved the beliefs of the Order; Obi-Wan had incorporated these so deeply into his principles that there was rarely a difference. Still, thought all tenets said that grief shouldn't be carried, and Obi-Wan was breaking that tenet, they wouldn't have time to talk on a mission. Obi-Wan would need to be in a place where he felt it was safe to let go. Anakin thought, _Maybe I could get a private audience with Master Yoda and explain to him why Obi can't go on a mission right now. Maybe he'd listen to me. I'll be a senior padawan soon, then a Knight. And I know Obi-Wan better than anyone; even Yoda couldn't argue that._

"You're planning something."

Anakin stopped walking. He'd walked past Obi-Wan without realizing it, so intent was he on his thoughts. He resisted the urge to duck his head as his cheeks colored. "I'm sorry, Master. I was distracted."

"What are you planning, Padawan mine?"

No secrets between them. It was a step to gaining Obi-Wan's complete trust. Anakin knew that despite Obi-Wan's promise, he, Anakin, would still have to show himself to be adult and accepting, or Obi-Wan would never unburden his heart. "I don't want to go on a mission. We've been together for barely a day. You promised we'd talk. And I know if the Council assigns us to a mission, we won't be able to do that, because the mission comes first."

"You're so sure we'll be assigned to a mission? Maybe Master Yoda simply wants to discuss how the Assembly went."

"When he didn't invite any of the other masters who came with you to suggest it?"

Obi-Wan's smile was small. He seemed not to have the energy to put anything more into his expression. "Touché. But can you be sure this will be about a mission?"

"No." Anakin sighed. "I know that means I shouldn't be planning ahead, but what if they do ask us to go on a mission? I want to be prepared to argue that we can't go on one yet. Jedi are supposed to be whole in mind, body and spirit, and you're…" He sensed the sudden rise in tension, and stopped. Reaching out through the Force, he sent, _Obi, I'm sorry. I don't mean to act like you're the apprentice and I'm the master. I know my place, even if I don't always keep to it well. But I can't stand it that you're in so much pain and you might be denied the chance to work through some of it. _He lost the battle to meet Obi-Wan's unreadable gaze and stared down at his shoes. _I'm sorry. I'll be quiet now, and I won't gainsay the Council if they decide to send us somewhere._

He couldn't sense much of what Obi-Wan was feeling, and knew that his master was keeping it all tightly shielded. He didn't try to pry, but even as he started to draw back into his own mind, he felt a crack form in Obi-Wan's shields.

His master answered more with emotions than words. _Miss Qui-Gon so badly/need to talk/grateful/ashamed that I can't let him go by myself/not angry with you/want only to serve the Force and forget this pain. _

When Anakin raised his eyes, he saw all this reflected in Obi-Wan's gaze, and the younger man's heart ached. _What can I do to help you get through whatever's coming?_

_Stand by me. I shouldn't ask-_

_Don't talk about shouldn't. Maybe the reason you can't let go of the pain is because the Force doesn't want you to let go. Maybe part of the reason you went to Dagobah was to learn to rely on others._

Surprise, clearer and sharper than all the emotions that had come before. _Yes, that might very likely be true. Thank you. Again. _A slight smile, in Obi-Wan's mind, and on his lips. _That is a lesson I haven't mastered quite yet. Will you stand beside me whether or not we're sent on a mission?_

_Yes._

_And if we are asked to leave Temple, I'll ask Yoda if we can stay long enough that I can fulfill my promise to you._

Anakin blinked. He hadn't expected that.

_You don't have to face the Council alone, you know. And it seems that I've started a revolution, at least in my own mind. It is easier now to think of challenging the Council's decisions, even in something as simple as this request. _A pause, a touch of humor. _You see, Padawan mine? Even I can grow out of my stubborn ways if given enough time and enough nudging. _He moved to where Anakin stood. They were half a dozen meters from the door. _Shall we?_

Anakin nodded and fell into step beside and slightly behind his master. Together, they approached the door. Obi-Wan rang the chimes, then, when the doors opened, they entered together.

Yoda was sitting directly in front of them. Leaning forward, he rested his hands on the top of his gimmer stick. "Great changes in you have been worked, Master Obi-Wan," he said. "Perhaps all Jedi two years on Dagobah should spend." The humor in his voice was unmistakable, but so was the admiration and approval in his gaze. "Forgive me for bringing up pain, but say this I must: proud of you Qui-Gon would have been."

Obi-Wan bowed slightly. "Thank you, Master."

"A matter of concern I have. Come to me a delegation from the Senate has. Concerned about the corruption they are."

Anakin thought, _It's about time. Why don't they start with all the slavery they allow to happen, even closer to the Core worlds?_

_Peace, Padawan mine. Peace. _"Did the Chancellor send them to consult with us?"

"No. Here they came on their own. To propose a way to eliminate corruption. Wish the help of the Jedi they do, and then ask permission of the Chancellor they will to put their plan into action." Yoda glanced at Mace.

"Obi-Wan, you may remember that before he was accused of corruption, Chancellor Valorum advocated the institution of a Senate-appointed intelligence officer and a Jedi working together to stop corruption."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I was nineteen; Qui-Gon took me to listen to Chancellor Valorum's speech. Qui-Gon believed that the Senate could only be improved through such a measure."

Mace nodded. "After Valorum was pushed out of office on a vote of no-confidence, his idea was buried- perhaps deliberately- and forgotten. Now it is being revived by a half-dozen Senators. They have a large number in the Senate who are interested in the idea; two thousand supporters. But they want to revive the whole plan, including involving a Jedi in the inner workings of the Senate. We've mostly kept our distance from the Senate, but this might be too great a chance to miss."

"Has the Council decided if a Jedi should join with this committee to speak with Chancellor Palpatine?"

"Indeed we have," Yoda said. "Speak to the chancellor later this afternoon Mace and I will be. But have a Jedi in mind we should before speak with him we do." He raised an eyebrow at Obi-Wan. "Who suggest do you think we should?"

Anakin stared at Yoda, then composed himself. _You want Obi involved in politics? Well, it would keep us planetside long enough for me to help him, but… _He couldn't imagine anything more boring than sitting in on endless Senate sessions.

"Someone on the Council?" Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. You already have many duties." He blinked then, and the realization showed on his face. "Master Yoda?"

"Hmmm?" Again, the old Jedi's amusement was evident.

"Master, are you suggesting that I…" Obi-Wan stopped, breathed, started again. "I'm flattered, Master, but-"

"Spoke eloquently this morning you did, not so?"

"Thank you, Master, but I've never been a public speaker. Talking to other Jedi is one thing, but to the Senate?"

"Not to all would you be talking, so if afraid of speaking in front of thousands you are- a fact which in severe doubt is- then concern yourself you should not. Speak with one or two Senators at a time you would."

Obi-Wan frowned. "But, Master Yoda, I'm not ready to take on such an assignment. My grief is still playing too much of a part in my moment-to-moment decisions, surely too much to-"

"Telling you that the Force is, or telling you your mind is? Because following the Force we do, not our minds or our fears."

Obi-Wan didn't respond immediately. Instead, he closed his eyes, and Anakin sensed him calming himself and reaching out to the Force. When he looked at Yoda, he said, "I've never thought of myself as a diplomat or a peacemaker, Master, but if you would like me to take on his duty, I will. But first, I need time to release more of my grief. It is going to keep distracting me until I deal with it directly."

"Time you have. Speaking with the chancellor this afternoon we are, and required to attend you are not. And accepted we are not sure this proposal will be. Only wish your agreement did we." Yoda leaned even further forward. "Understand your grief I do, Obi-Wan, and help you with it I will if I can, but still a Jedi you are, and still a duty you have. Wait for you to heal this situation cannot. Doubt that you will heal I do not. Time only you need. Time you have." He paused, seemed to ask the other Council members without asking if they had anything to add. When no one spoke, Yoda nodded. "May the Force be with you."

Obi-Wan bowed, and turned to leave.

Anakin, slightly stunned by all he'd heard, bowed quickly and hastened to follow Obi-Wan from the room. He was almost too stunned to worry about the challenge that lay directly ahead of them.

oOo

Count Dooku swept into his quarters and locked the door behind him. He strode to his window and pulled the drapes, casting the room in shadow. The news he'd just heard disturbed him more than he cared to admit, and he wanted to be somewhere that he didn't have to be concerned about others seeing how he felt.

His former padawan, Qui-Gon, was dead.

It had taken weeks to reach him, and he wondered at that, since he monitored the HoloNet almost religiously. But this minor concern didn't hold his attention. More important was the fact that Qui-Gon was gone. Once, Dooku had thought to talk his former apprentice, who knew more about the corruption in the Senate than most, about his plans, and about Sidious. If he could win Qui-Gon over, that would be a major blow to the Jedi, and a great influx of strength to the Dark Side. Dooku didn't even care if the Republic fell, as long as the Separatists were allowed to form their own independent governments and leave the burden of unity behind them.

But now, Qui-Gon was gone, never to see the error of the Republic's ways, never to have a chance to live for himself. Qui-Gon had sacrificed himself, as most foolish Jedi did, for the nothing. No gain, no guaranteed peace, not even a little credit or gratitude.

Dooku was too well-established to feel grief, or so he told himself, but he regretted Qui-Gon's death. Regret was an all right emotion to have, even for a Dark Force user who had no use for most people.

He went to his armchair and sank into it. He liked comfort, and so the chair was well-appointed. It usually soothed his tired muscles. But not today. Today, a restlessness had invaded him, and soon he rose from the chair and walked to the drapes. He parted them with his hands and gazed out at the small, elegant campus where his apartment was located. All around him were similar apartments; splendid, all of them, but none of them standing out. That was just how he wanted things. He didn't want anyone to take notice of him just now.

A feeling, intense and probing, interrupted his contemplation of the scene and he stepped back quickly, letting the drapes drop closed. But the feeling followed him. It was as if he was being watched, his struggles with remorse pointed out to others. He detested being scrutinized. He strode to the sidebar and poured himself a drink. As the liquid splashed into the small tumbler, he thought at the feeling, and at his own emotions, _He's dead. I wish he wasn't, but he is. There's no point in grief. His own foolish following of the Jedi was his downfall._

He didn't believe that. Qui-Gon had been many things, but a blind follower had never been one of them. Dooku downed his first glass and poured a second.


	31. Going Forth and The Senate

**Author's Note:** And so start the two chapters every week until this fic is finished. May the Force be with you all, and enjoy the further tangling of this web.

Fear in the NightPg. 569

Going Forth As OnePg. 590

The SenatePg. 612

Going Forth as One

Alone together in their quarters at last, the door shut and locked against the world, even the chime turned off, the communicators the only way of reaching them, Anakin and Obi-Wan stood facing each other across the common room. Anakin resisted the urge to fidget, but the look in his master's eyes was anything but peaceful. If Anakin ever had thoughts of calling the whole thing off, or of asking another master to step into his place, this was it.

Then Obi-Wan sank down on the rug and settled himself in a meditative posture. Anakin came closer, hesitated. Obi-Wan looked up at him. "You can sit, Padawan mine. It's all right. I won't bite." Any humor he'd tried for was lost in the grief that shone vibrantly in his eyes.

The younger man swallowed. "What is this going to be like?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't know. I need to let go of every sadness, and I can't promise I'll be able to shield you from it, or even buffer you a little." He looked down at his hands. "I have no wish to drive you away, Anakin, but if you don't think-"

"I'm not leaving you."

"Another could-"

Anakin knelt before Obi-Wan, touched his arm. "But no one knows you as well as I do. And even if that wasn't true, don't we need to know each other?" He blushed to say this next, but he said, greatly daring, "The line between padawan and master is blurring, has been blurred before this. And while that's not how most padawan-master teams do things, it's how we do them. Let the line blur more." He blushed even more deeply, but couldn't stop his tongue from saying, "I'll still respect you in the morning."

Obi-Wan's eyebrows shot up, but a chuckle fought its way to his lips, and he let it out, covering his mouth with one hand. "Anakin, do you know where that saying comes from?"

Anakin nodded. "If we were two people making love for the first time…" He couldn't go on this time, but stared helplessly at Obi-Wan.

"Indeed," his master said. "That's exactly where it comes from." Another chuckle. "But your using it here isn't inappropriate, and makes perfect sense. And I needed the reassurance, asinine as that sounds."

Anakin's eyes widened slightly, but he tried to hide his surprise.

In pain or not, Obi-Wan had always been able to read his expressions. "What did I say that shocks you?" Then, "Ah. 'Asinine'. Idiotic. Stupid." He smiled. "A stronger word than I've used around you before. I didn't even realize." A pause. "Well, if you wanted proof that I am starting to think of you as less of a child and more of an adult, there you have it." He gestured. "Now, will you join me?" A barrier trembled in his mind; they both felt how close it was to breaking.

Anakin sat across from him. Closing his eyes, he inhaled, calming his mind and letting all else go. Reaching out, he felt the brush of Obi-Wan's mind. He didn't try to make a deeper connection; that would come soon.

Obi-Wan groaned softly. _I know not how to summon the grief. Because when it comes, I won't be able to stop it._

_Then you know how, you just don't want to. _Anakin wrapped mental arms around his master. _We're in the Temple, not a hundred meters from many masters who would instantly come to my rescue, or yours, if we needed it. They are the safety net. Give me a chance to help, but if I can't bear it, I will call to one of them. I promise I will. _A slight pause. _And, Obi?_

_Yes?_

_You're stalling._

_Well I know it. _A breath; the barrier trembled again.

_Please, Obi, let go. _Anakin considered invoking Qui-Gon's name, or Qui-Gon's love, but decided that would be underhanded. Besides, it might not open the door he wanted. He wanted Obi-Wan to touch grief for himself, not to have it dumped on him. Let Obi-Wan find the door. Anakin would be there to help him open it, and to keep him from getting buried, no more.

A soft stirring of notes, like a Trell bass flute, moved the silence aside like a curtain. For a moment, Anakin didn't know what he was hearing, then, opening his eyes, he turned his gaze on Obi-Wan. His master was singing, soft and low, a melody where all the notes were close together and the words rode on top like a lonely boat bobbing on a vast and empty sea.

"Love lie near me, Near enough to touch.

Love lie near me In the cool of the day.

Love lie near me And listen to a sad song,

One last sad song before I send you, I send you far and away.

Love lie near me, Sleep does call.

Love lie near me, Darkness bids us rest.

Love lie near me, In your sweet, eternal repose,

I'll lie near you when they, o love, when they sing my death.

Love lie near me, Darkness take the day.

Love lie near me, No more hold my hand.

Love lie near me, Kisses gone away.

Love, lie near me, no more shall, side by side, no more shall we stand."

The melody died, the words stopped; Obi-Wan fell silent. But only in the physical world. In his mind, the song went on, repeating, cresting and dying away, falling back, then rising up again, almost drowning out the man's grief, which hovered beneath the surface like one pulsing, living chord.

Then the song itself died, leaving only that chord, sweet and beautiful in its sorrow, almost impossible to listen to. _Qui-Gon. _The single thought rose out of the chord, and the chord rose to support it, to give it weight and substance and life. _Qui-Gon._ _Return. _He sobbed. _Never return. My Qui-Gon._

He fell sideways, giving up all pretense of holding himself together, or holding back. He barely felt the arms that caught him; he felt the rough cloth of a Jedi robe against his cheek not at all. Tear followed tear, and sob chased after sob until every breath was painful and he buried his face against the one who held him, not to muffle the ugly sounds, but to hide from them. They spoke more eloquently than he ever had, and that was the real blow. He'd never been able to tell Qui-Gon _just this way_ how much he loved him. And if he could feel so much love now, why couldn't he have brought this to bear when his lover had still been alive?

He couldn't think how to atone for the thousand errors that occurred over ten years. He knew nothing he said could ever reach Qui-Gon, and he grieved for that, wondering if his beloved had died knowing how much he really was cherished. _Force, let him have died in peace. _

He blinked. _Wait. Qui-Gon might know. We talked shortly before he died. _But when Obi-Wan tried to remember that conversation, he couldn't, and he groaned, wishing he could be sure that Qui-Gon had died knowing how much he was loved.

The drive to know was at last silenced, not because it was answered, but because it was overtaken and displaced by a new species of grief: loss. Obi-Wan whispered,

"Love lie near me, In your sweet, eternal repose,

I'll lie near you when they, o love, when they sing my death."

_My death,_ he thought. _It can't come soon enough. We'll never touch again, so death won't bring us together. But it would bring an end to-_ he struggled for a word that meant all the galaxy, all the pain of a lifetime lived alone, and failed- _this. Force, if You had any mercy-_

He stopped, drew back from the one who held him, tilted his head, listening hard. He thought he'd heard a voice, a song. There: it came again, and was gone. Frowning, he pursued it, closing his eyes, reaching out with his grief, giving his sorrow as a precious sacrifice. The song could feed his grief if it wished; he only wanted to hear it. He sensed the song was important.

For a moment longer, it danced just beyond his hearing, then it came again, new words to feed his loss:

"Love lie not near me. Leave me, for I have no more roshes to give you.

Love lay near me, Years upon years, and I never took Love up to walk with me.

Love left me; I gave no sweet nectar, no bird's song, no warm hand to hold.

Depart from me, Love, for I, lost and wandering, for you I can't hear or see.

Love you must leave me, Bretrayer I am.

Love you must leave me, I brought you night.

Love you must leave, No stars did I give you

Nor moon at night could I, did I? could I give for light."

He bowed his head, suffering in silence. If the song had been meant to give comfort, it had failed. Dimly, he remembered that there were other verses, and he thought they might have soothed him. He couldn't remember them.

In the Light Force, all things are possible. His lips parted, and the forgotten words came. If he had thought, he might have felt like a puppet or droid, fed commands and told what to say. But just then, he couldn't think. He sang the last two verses.

Never again, Love, will we Walk among the trees.

Never again, Love, will we, Like lost children, cry.

Never again, Love, will we Be lost in each other's arms.

But always, Love, you are with me, lost, found or sleeping, alive or when we die.

"Love lies near me, Every night holding me.

Love lies near me, Forgivness in his touch.

Love lies near me, Strength to my soul.

In the morning, love lifts me, at dawn's first pale light, love lifts me up.

_Qui-Gon. My Qui-Gon. I love you. And with the help of the Force, you knew that before you left. _And because all things were possible in the Force, Obi-Wan was given his first glimmer of hope. He didn't cling to it, but reached, finally, into the sustaining Force, asking for comfort for the rest, for the loss of those journeys he would never take with his lover.

It was Anakin, not the Force, that answered. _Tell me some of your good memories._

He gave no explanation, no hope of comfort coming from the following of this request, but Obi-Wan would have done almost anything for his padawan. He sent, _The day I became a senior padawan, we had meant to make love. But we were called to a mission barely an hour after the ceremony. I was feeling cheated, even though I knew we were doing the right thing. We were traveling on a crowded freighter; there was no chance we could slip away. And we were traveling into an area where much of the population was Force-sensitive, so we didn't dare reveal ourselves in the Force by talking mind to mind. I tried to show how grown up I was, but I couldn't hide my disappointment. At that time, we'd made love only twice, and I'd been looking forward to a day of it at least. _No embarrassment colored the telling of this story; Obi-Wan, in the depth of his grief, felt Anakin to be a close friend, not an apprentice. _Qui-Gon had been moving about the ship, talking ot beings of different races, as he often did. But he came and found me, and sat beside me. He said, "When the Force chooses a new path for your feet, take the path in faith, and the Force will surely bring you comfort." And he kissed my cheek. _Obi-Wan laughed faintly. _I was shocked, and I demanded in a whisper what he thought he was doing. He answered, "See those beings in the tall head wrappings? They're from N'nnall, where two men kissing is seen as a sign of trust." Again, he kissed me, on the lips this time. "They believe I'm your very good friend, that we quarreled, and that I am now making up." I asked him, "Who told them all that?" "No one," he said. "They asked me if there was anything they could do to pave the way back to peaceful coexistence between myself and my traveling companion. I simply didn't clarify our relationship, or the fact that you weren't miffed at me." I felt much better the rest of the mission._

Obi-Wan drew into himself a little, then reached out to Anakin again. _Do you want to hear another?_

_Yes, please._

oOo

Obi-Wan came back to the physical world as the sun was setting. He glanced out their north-facing windows and watched the fiery glow in the west. Sitting up, then rising, he crossed to the balcony. He rested a hand on the transparisteel, then pushed open the window-doors and stepped outside. He placed his hands on the stone railing and gazed out across the city, his home in so many ways. He followed the path of a speeder, then turned his eyes to the slow-moving clouds higher up. A great sense of peace had replaced his grief, filling in each dark place with light. Breathing in, then out, he thanked the Force for the part It had played in his healing.

Anakin cleared his throat slightly. He was standing by the open door, afraid to intrude, but wanting to know if all was well.

Obi-Wan turned and extended a hand. He drew Anakin forward to stand with him by the railing and wrapped an arm around the younger man's back. He pointed up at the clouds. "Watch them with me for a minute."

Confused, but glad to hear Obi-Wan speak with something close to his usual authority and mysterious motivations, Anakin obeyed. He traced the path of a cloud from east to west, then watched as another was bisected by a descending cruiser.

"Each cloud is sustained by the Force. Not made by It- the natural laws you learned as a youngling did that- but each and every cloud, person, plant and star are sustained by It." He smiled. "Strange, but I don't remember where I heard the phrase, 'Force sustain us,' but it is a true saying, and one that brings comfort. Because there's a difference between sustaining life and making it last in perpetuity, without change or growth. The Force sustains us, catching us when we fall and raising us up again." He turned and wrapped both arms around Anakin, letting any and all who wished to see note that an older Jedi laid his cheek against the shoulder of a younger one. "The Light Force sent you to sustain me. Thank you for listening, and for raising me up again." He drew back. "Do you regret any of it?"

Anakin, shaken to see such unfailing faith, gratitude and devotion, whispered, "No. If I had to do it all again, I'd do it just the same." He blushed a little. "It's not morning yet, but I still respect you."

Very seriously, Obi-Wan returned, "Thank you, Anakin."

The younger Jedi had meant it as a joke, though a true one, and he was moved to realize that Obi-Wan had been restored to him body, mind, and soul. He sent up a silent thanks to the Force, then blinked, surprised that he truly meant the thank-you. He also knew he had more to be thankful for, and now, for the first time, he sensed the true power of Obi-Wan's devotion to the Force: even in his darkest hour, he hadn't called out to the Darkness. And for Obi-Wan's devotion, the Force had given this in return: peace so deep and wide that Anakin couldn't imagine ever seeing its end.

_If I gave such trust and devotion to the Force, would it sustain me, too? _He wasn't sure, but he thought it might, and he knew he could ask Obi-Wan.

_But not now. _He stood, shoulder to shoulder, with Obi-Wan, and watched the sun set.

oOo

"….We'll talk with him later on today, or tomorrow." Obi-Wan cradled his cup of tea in both hands and smiled at his padawan. "Most of what you'll both tell me is already evident in the way you act." He chuckled. "And in the calluses on your hands. Apparently, you wouldn't suffer from more hands-on labor."

"How many calluses have _you_ ever gotten?"

Obi-Wan set his tea on the low table and showed Anakin his roughened hands.

"Calluses gotten on Dagobah don't count. How many have you actually gotten from every day Jedi work?"

The master chuckled. "Well, when I was first learning lightsaber techniques, I practiced so hard that it wasn't unusual for Master Ahleh, and later Qui-Gon, to treat one burst callus a week."

"Fine. How many have you gotten since you turned thirteen?"

Obi-Wan frowned, seemed to contemplate. "Thirty-nine. Most of those were from my first journey to Ragoon 6. Others were from-"

"Fine!" Anakin threw up his hands, but he was laughing. "How many have you gotten since you became a master?"

"Not including any gained in the last two years?"

"Right."

Obi-Wan took a long drink of tea. "None." A teasing smile. "But we're not talking about me; your calluses are under scrutiny, not mine." He set his tea down again and reached out, catching Anakin's left hand. He studied it, nodded. "Looks like scrubbing the floors was good for that baby skin of yours."

Anakin scowled and snatched his hand back. "If that's your way of saying I'm growing up, it's not a very flattering way of putting things."

"Must I always put things just so? You're starting to sound like the overzealous, rule-loving padawan I once was."

"And remained during all of your Knighthood and much of your Masterhood. Only Dagobah saved me from having you like this during the remaining year of my training."

"First, young one, who says you're going to be a Knight in a year? And second, my Knighthood lasted all of six hours, if not much less."

"Actually, you weren't technically my master until after we returned from Ragoon 6, and that was what, all of six months?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Very funny. I didn't hear you refusing to call me master at the time."

"Hey, you were pregnant. I had to be careful with you in your delicate condition."

" 'Delicate condition'? Young one, you've just made a mistake. You may be a more gifted pilot than I am, and you may have an easier Force-connection, but I'll teach you something didn't know about me, something I've never taught you." He vaulted over the table, knocked Anakin off the chair, and bore him to the floor with a resounding _thud_. "I, Padawan, am an amazing wrestler." He gripped both of Anakin's wrists in one hand and called on the Force to swirl about Anakin so that the younger man's muscles were tugged, gently but firmly, first one way, then the other.

Anakin tried to cry out, but his mouth was sealed shut. He tried to buck his master off, but all he managed to do was twitch an eyebrow. _Obi! This isn't fair! You never told me you could do this kind of thing with the Force! You never said it could be used to do more than move objects and connect to everything around us!_

_I am connecting to you, and I am only moving objects. Your muscles are objects, are they not?_

_Let me up! _A pause. _Then teach me how to do this!_

_First, concede that you learned something from scrubbing the floor._

_I did! I did! And I already told you about it!_

_Also, you must admit that physical labor can be as good a teacher as anything we do with our minds._

_Okay! _Anakin pouted slightly in his mind._ Let me up. Please?_

Obi-Wan pushed himself off Anakin, held the boy still for another second with the Force, then released him, retreating to the couch and picking up his tea.

"Aren't you going to teach me?" Anakin asked, getting off the floor.

"In a minute. First, though I know much of what's happened to you, will you tell me all? Tell me of your years with Master Zee."

Anakin hesitated, then sat beside Obi-Wan. "He's not a master anymore."

"Yes, I know, but we'll call him that for now."

"I didn't do much of anything." Anakin stared down at his hands. "I flew a lot, and spent most of my time alone. You'll see my grades eventually; they're terrible. I basically blew off the greater part of two years, doing anything that would distract me from thinking about you." He bit his lip, then left off it and met Obi-Wan's gaze. "I'm sorry, but that's the truth. I did nothing to make you proud of me while I worked with Master Zee. It's probably mostly my fault, since I should be mature enough to handle myself without a supervisor. I neglected everything except doing barrel rolls through the traffic lanes here on Coruscant."

"That's not all you did. Reeft left me a message this morning asking me if I minded that he told you stories of our years as younglings and apprentices together. And don't be too hard on yourself. If you were ready to be without some supervision, you would be a Knight already."

"Did you mind that he told Ferus and me those stories?"

"No. Should I?"

"He told me about Melida/Daan, when you left the Order, and he told me about other mistakes you'd made." Anakin hesitated. "And he told me about amazing things you'd done, like when you saved Bandomeer."

"You never thought I was perfect, true?"

Again, Anakin hesitated. He knew Obi-Wan would never ask him a trick question, but he was afraid of sounding disrespectful.

"Just answer truthfully, Anakin. I won't be offended."

"I knew you were fallible."

"Good." Obi-Wan finished his tea, set the cup aside. "What else has happened since I've been away?"

"Why are you convinced there's more?"

"Because Master Yoda wouldn't have reassigned you to another master if something hadn't happened, either with regards to Master Zee, or with something he didn't protect you from." He frowned. "And when I arrived, I sensed that a shadow was newly departed from the Temple. And you mentioned it somewhat when we had to stop reaching out to each other. What was here?"

"A shadow, like you said." Anakin looked away, then back, knowing he'd been tempted to lie. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry about me. I mean, the danger's past. It was Adee. It must have been. He's the one that came to attack you." Anakin paused. "Was it Zee- Master Zee- too?"

"Can you still feel the shadow? Don't answer right away; reach out first, and seek for the smallest touch of it."

Anakin was sure he couldn't feel it, that it had departed with Adee, but he did as he was asked. And as he reached, casting his preconceptions aside, he realized that the Dark Force was still there, both inside the Temple and outside. He shivered a little, but didn't flinch from it. He felt that the Dark Force inside was surrounded by layers of Light Force, layers that protected all the Jedi, and also, slowly, wore down the Darkness. Still, he didn't like that he felt Darkness at Temple. "It's like the center of a 'pul that's just started to rot. You can't tell it's bad from the outside, but if you bite into it, or cut it open, you can see where it's turning mushy brown." He moved a fraction of an inch closer to Obi-Wan. "Is that safe? For us to be harboring Dark Force here? If it's inside and outside…"

"How can we ever escape it. Is that what you mean?"

Anakin nodded.

"I'm not sure we can, but I trust Master Yoda's judgment, and the judgment of the Council. Their choice was to keep Master Zee here and try to help him. Both because he's a danger to us if he left, and because we don't want to lose anyone to the Dark Side. It's bad enough that so many Jedi have been killed by the Darkness; why should we give up another?" He rose and walked to the bookshelf. Not touching anything, he called all the books into the air with the Force. These he sent spinning about himself. "All these books are different, true?"

Anakin rose, but didn't come too close. "Yes."

"And not all of them are good."

"I don't know what you mean. They don't read well? They're boring?"

"I mean 'good' in the strictest sense of that word: not all these books feed a greater understanding of the Light. Some of these could even lead a student to a study of the Darkness if he or she wasn't careful." Obi-Wan moved his hands and the circling books lifted upwards, swirling over his head. A stack of three books hovered directly above him and didn't revolve. "These are the books that discuss the Dark Force. Just now, they are in the center of all the good books. Reading them could infect a Jedi- you or me- and color our perceptions of the Light Force."

"Then why keep them?"

"Because, if read correctly, in full knowledge of their danger and complete trust and belief in the Light Force, they can show traps the Dark Force will set that we wouldn't have been aware of if we only read the good books. In a similar way, Master Yoda has studied how to 'catch' and reverse Force lightning. He doesn't create it, but he can defend himself against it. Learning how to deflect Force lightning with your bare hands is much more dangerous and needs much more trust in the Light Force than deflecting it with a lightsaber blade. But Master Yoda decided to learn, despite the risk, so that he can defend himself and others."

Anakin was nearly seventeen; he decided to show his age by taking the next logical step. "So having Master Zee still at Temple could be a good thing? Maybe it won't just help him to be surrounded by Light, but it will us to… to…" Here his logical broke down, and he looked at Obi-Wan helplessly.

"Having Master Zee here is ore dangerous than books or one master learning how to deflect Force lightning, because having him here is to have him in close proximity to those who might be tempted by Darkness. But yes, having him here can also teach us, force us- if you'll pardon the pun- to depend on things outside ourselves. The Force, yes, but each other as well." He called the books back to the shelf, arranging them neatly, row by row. "Gone are the days when I can be close to only a handful of Jedi, and depend on those alone to protect me. Trust can't be earned anymore at Temple; it takes too long. The way of the Dark Force is to sow dissention; it would use my need to have each person prove themselves as a way to cut me off from help, and to cut others off from any help I could give. Having Master Zee still here has proven to me that I must start trusting _because _they are Jedi, not because I know each and all personally. Only by sticking together and fighting side by side can we have any hope of defeating the Darkness." He set the last book in place, then turned to face Anakin. "Others will learn lessons similar to mine, though I don't know if others have such an issue with trust as I do. Learning is still one of our greatest weapons. The time may come when learning isn't an option anymore, when we have to stand with what we know and fight, but that time is not now. We can still learn and grow, and while we can do that, nothing, not even the eventual overthrow of the Jedi Order, is for certain."

"Is that… possible? Would the Jedi fall apart or be overwhelmed?" Anakin moved to stand closer to Obi-Wan, unconsciously seeking reassurance. "Master Gareth told me that we're in danger, and that I need to go out in the galaxy with a master who will show me all the things that are happening out there. And Master Reeft said that we're in danger of losing the Outer Worlds to the Trade Federation and others. Is all that a symptom of the strengthening of the Dark Force? And if it is, are we going to fall apart? Are the Jedi going to be destroyed?"

Obi-Wan grasped Anakin's shoulders. "Almost nothing is certain yet, not the temporary triumph of Darkness or the temporary triumph of Light. The Jedi may endure for another thousand years, or they may pass in the next ten years. But this is certain, and it was wrong of me not to say it before: the eventual winning-out of the Light is assured, because that is what the Force wills, and what the Force wills happens. You were taught as a youngling that 'balance' means an equal measure of one thing on one side, and an equal measure of something else on the other. Balance in the Force means just the same. It means that just as many people live will die, which isn't the in plan of the Dark Force. And it means that just as many people are hurt will be protected from pain. To have the Light Force rule everything would be to take away the free will of people, because all of us have a little Dark Force in us, an emotion here or there that gets out of control or an action we wish we'd never done. We need to be free to make mistakes and grow, else what would be the point of existence?"

He sat down right there in front of the bookshelf and gestured for Anakin to join him. "Think of the HoloNet, Anakin. It transmits visual and audio information, true?"

Anakin nodded.

"If it was the purpose of the Force to make the Light Force dominant, a Jedi powerful as Master Yoda or Master Windu could, in effect, stand before a HoloNet camera. Everyone could be made to watch, and the Jedi could use Force suggestion to control most of them. Not all, but many. And the others could be persuaded. By negotiation or weapons, whatever worked."

Anakin's eyes widened. "So a universe ruled by the Light Force alone would be just as controlling as one ruled by Darkness?" He shook his head. "I never thought of it that way. I assumed 'balance in the Force' meant the Light Force taking over."

"Balance means just what it means when you were taught as a youngling: equal amounts of Darkness and Light on both sides of the galactic scales."

"So when I bring balance- however I'm supposed to do that- I'll be balancing the Darkness and Light, not excluding either?"

"Exactly. And I can't answer your question precisely, because I don't know what the Force is going to ask you to do. But this much I do know: for the Force to be put back in balance, it must be thrown far out of balance first, or a living being wouldn't be required to set it right. Think about it. The Force has set small differences right for millions, perhaps _billions_, of years. So a huge imbalance has to occur first."

"Is it going to come because the Darkness gets too strong, or because the Light does?"

"I don't know. My guess would be, based on all that's happening in the galaxy just now, the Darkness will get much stronger. But we can't preclude the possibility that it will be the Light Force."

"Doing that might blind us to later warnings."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Excellent. But I have to tell you a little more about the Light Force. If the Light was evil, or had the potential for evil, in and of Itself, should we follow it?"

"So the Light Force can't be evil," Anakin said. "If it was, it would be just like the Dark Force." He frowned, puzzling that out. "Then why would the Light Force lead us to control other people by using our mental powers or weapons?"

"Any time you take away all danger, even for a good reason, you have to take away a person's free will. Even if the end goal is peace, taking away that is never right. So in the Light Force's attempt to protect everyone, It would let in the Dark Force, which would persuade Light Force users to enjoy the power they'd gained. In other words, the Force would be rebalancing Itself."

He leaned forward. "As Jedi, as living, breathing, free-willed beings who nevertheless wish to do the will of the Light Force, we keep the Light Force from achieving all Its goals. That's not something to be proud or ashamed of, but only the truth. Any time we delay, hesitate, wonder about the directions the Light Force has given us, we offset the Light's goals."

"So it would be hard for the Light to become too powerful because we keep it from getting what it really wants." Anakin frowned. "Then why do Dark Force users always strengthen the Dark Force?"

"Because, many times, it's easier to do what you think is best instead of trusting someone, or something, else. The Dark Force thrives on feelings of self-importance and distrust of others. And now, we've had enough of discussing abstract things, I think. It was a needed talk, but what it really needs is everyday application. And we won't be doing that until we finish discussing what's passed and start moving forward together." He smiled. "So, will you tell me exactly what happened that day? We know the shadow was Adee, but was he seeking you? And if he was, why did he attack others?"

Anakin shook his head. "I can't answer that. He attacked Gareth and Arnen, and others, too. I never heard a motive suggested. And when he was just outside the storeroom where other padawans and I were guarding the younglings, he didn't detect me, even though I could feel him quite plainly, then he simply winked out of existence. At the time, I thought he'd died, and Master Gareth said as much, but we know he didn't die. Besides, when anyone dies, you'd feel it in the Force, and all we felt was that he simply wasn't there."

"Can Dark Force users do it as well?" Obi-Wan muttered.

"Do what?" Anakin asked after a short silence. His master had gone completely still, and Anakin felt his skin crawl.

"Once, a Jedi stumbled upon a way to cloak herself completely in the Light Force. She was filled with Light, but anyone who directed Force at her, Light or Dark, felt that she wasn't there. Unless you looked right at her, there was no way to know she was there. The Light Force fooled sensors and all other electronics as well as Force-sensitives. Until now, I thought that trick had only been discovered by those on the Light Side. If Dark Force users can do it, too…" He shook his head. "That would be very bad. For everyone. We'd have no way of telling when they drew near."

Anakin bit his lip. "But if Adee did that, why'd he later repel the Light Force so it felt to everyone else like he was standing at the center of a black hole? Why didn't he just do the same trick twice?"

"Maybe it was Master Zee." Obi-Wan sighed. "I'll ask Master Yoda to talk to him. Maybe he can explain himself."

"And if it wasn't Master Zee, then what?"

"I think you know, Padawan mine. If it wasn't Master Zee, we may still be in danger from within." Obi-Wan rose and, taking Anakin by the hand, raised his padawan up. "But we'll let Yoda worry about that just now. I'll contact him shortly. For now, this is the time to learn and to grow. Let's not jump right to the fighting when there's so much we still need to learn."

Anakin nodded.

They started back towards the couch, but then Obi-Wan stopped and turned to his padawan once more. "One last thing about that day when the Dark Force was seeking you: That could be because you are my padawan and the Dark Force wants me dead, or because you are the Chosen One and the Dark Force doesn't want to see you grow to maturity." He took Anakin's hands in his. "Whichever the reason, it's past time I taught you how to put on the armor of the Light Force. Do you know what the armor is?"

"No." Anakin blushed. "I'm sorry."

"For what? I told you it's time I taught you this. I just wondered if maybe Reeft had mentioned it. The armor of the Light Force is made up of four parts: love, trust, compassion, peace. Those will be our focus in the coming months and years. I want you prepared for what's out there. One day, I won't be here."

Anakin gripped Obi-Wan's hands so hard he could see little white moons where his fingers dug into the older man's flesh. He didn't let up. "You'll always be here. The Jedi don't die of old age." He couldn't hide the panic in his voice. "I don't want to hear you talk about dying."

"I know, but this is something you need to hear. I'm not planning to die for centuries to come, but we must talk about this some time."

"Can it wait?"

"For what? It will always be an uncomfortable subject for us both. Believe me, Anakin, I don't want to leave you any more than you want me to leave."

Anakin was quiet for a moment, then he sighed. "Okay. I'll listen."

"Thank you. Jedi do die, though usually not of old age. But there have been more deaths of Jedi from external forces in my lifetime than there have been in the last century."

"Really? Why? Is it because the Dark Force is getting stronger?"

"Exactly. Since I've been alive, Master Tahl, Master Ky-ya, Master Ahleh-" his voice broke and Anakin let up his death grip on his master's hands so he could hug him- "and Qui-Gon have died. If you want to talk padawans, there have been three deaths: Siiniilaa, killed by Padawan Telka when I was ten, Bruck, who died because he was working with Xanatos and the Dark Force corrupted him, and V'nu was killed when he and his master, Ky-ya, were targeted by a bounty hunter who said she was acting in the name of the Darkness. You must be prepared both for the heightened battle we're going to face out there and the possibility that I or any other Jedi might die."

"I'll train to be ready, but I don't like to think about it."

"I don't blame you. And you don't have to, in so many words. Just work towards the strength and peace that comes with obedience to the Force, and the rest will take care of itself." He hugged Anakin close for a moment, then stepped back. "Thank you for listening. Now we can get on with our day, and with our lives. Death is a truth, but it's not something we have to meditate on."

oOo

Qui-Gon stirred. He felt little pain, only the soreness of long-inactive muscles, and he wondered at that. Last he remembered, he'd been dying under half a ton of rock. Obviously, he'd lived, and since he wasn't freezing or having trouble breathing, he'd also been moved somewhere warmer and with higher oxygen levels. Dimly, he remembered speaking with Obi-Wan across a connection that had reached for hundreds of parsecs. Then the communication had stopped and he'd faced Xanatos. Surely Xanatos hadn't rescued him. So where was he, and who had kept him alive? And, just as important, why had he been kept alive?

Reaching out with his feelings, laying completely still and not daring yet to open his eyes, he sensed the nearness of many young beings- children, he realized. And at least one Force-sensitive, though the man's mind was untrained. Qui-Gon drew back, not wanting to alert the man to his presence until he knew if he had the strength to fight or flee.

Having established that he was alone in the room, he opened an eye, assessing the inside of a home that looked much like those of the Agriculture workers he'd been living among. SO, he hadn't been taken off the planet. Strange. And yet, Xanatos hadn't found him, or had he left Qui-Gon here? That was just as doubtful as Xanatos rescuing Qui-Gon himself. Opening his other eye, Qui-Gon took a quick sweep of the room, noting the single door and the single window. The curtains had been drawn back, and he saw that it was a fair day.

Turning his attention to his body, he stretched his legs and arms little by little, hearing the pops and feeling the pull of his sore muscles. He knew he could use the Force to get him on his feet and probably to help him escape, but eventually he would have be treated, and probably undergo some physical therapy as well. Nothing beyond exercises he couldn't do himself, but he would also need shelter and food. Conscious of general weakness, he wondered how he'd been fed while he was unconscious. Or perhaps he hadn't been fed at all.

Someone was coming; the man with the Force sensitivity was Qui-Gon's guess. He closed his eyes.

The man was murmuring to himself as he worked. He set something down with a bump and then murmured, "Everything's all right, Jedi. I'm just giving you your dinner. I've asked the Force to help you wake up soon. If you don't, that other Jedi might come before you wake." More sounds, and the man turned Qui-Gon's arm. "I'm sorry I'll have to prick you again. I had to remove the last IV drip."

Qui-Gon said, "I think I can manage a little food."

The man dropped the needle and cried out. But his eyes were full of joy instead of shock, and when he'd recovered, he took a step back and bowed low. "Welcome to my home, Master Jedi. I am S'ban, of the tribe of Lalsing. You are safe here. Another Jedi bid me bring you here and tend you until he comes."

"Thank you for taking care of me. May I ask who the Jedi was?"

S'ban came closer, whispered, "He said his name was Obi-Wan. But he didn't want anyone to know. He didn't tell me your name, but only said that you need to hide here for awhile." He went to the door, closed it, then rushed to the curtains and drew them closed. Then he returned to the bed. "But I think I know who you are. You are Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi that the HoloNet says died two weeks ago." He held up a hand, palm out. "I promised that I wouldn't tell anyone about you. Not even my family knows what you are."

"They might, if you talked as you did just now. You called me 'Jedi'."

S'ban nodded. "Of course." He fidgeted. "I hope I haven't caused any damage. Do you think-" again he whispered- "Obi-Wan would be angry with me?"

"I doubt it," Qui-Gon said, amused in spite of himself. What had Obi-Wan said to put so much fear and awe into this man? "Anger isn't the Jedi way." Then he frowned. "Did you say two weeks? Then I've been unconscious for that long?"

S'ban nodded again. "We never thought you would die, but we were afraid you might never wake up. I have a message from Obi-Wan for you." He hesitated.

"What is it?"

"I remember it; I just want to say it exactly like he did. Maybe there's a secret code in it or something."

Qui-Gon waited, not expecting a code, but giving S'ban time. The Jedi rarely dealt in code, and even if they had, rushing the man wasn't going to help things.

"Obi-Wan said for me to tell you, 'Adpot a new name and go into obscurity.' " S'ban cleared his throat, frowned deeply, continued. " 'Disguise yourself. The HoloNet will be crawling with your description and news of your death.' It certainly did that." He coughed. "That wasn't part of the message. Here's the rest: 'Wait for me. I'll come when the Force tells me to.' That's it." He nodded. "That's everything."

Qui-Gon considered the words, wondering why everyone must believe that he was dead, and yet Obi-Wan knew he was alive. _I can't see how he could keep a secret like that to himself. Obi-Wan may be many things, but a good liar's not one of them._

Well, for now, he couldn't answer that. For now, he must- Qui-Gon looked at S'ban, just a passing glance, and saw how agitated and worried the man was. Setting his thoughts aside, Qui-Gon reached out a hand and touched S'ban's arm. "Thank you for saving my life, and for remembering the message so exactly. Every word was important." He stretched both his arms a little. "I'm going to have to ask more help from you, my friend. I still need to heal."

"Don't worry." S'ban laughed. "I would never turn you out. You may stay as long as you need. And from the way the other Jedi talked, he'll be coming to get you soon."

"Did you actually see Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, suddenly seized with the hope that his former padawan was close.

"No." S'ban bowed his head. "He spoke in my mind, and I couldn't see him, though the land was perfectly flat for miles. I don't know where he was. But he had great command of the Force even over such a distance. He made you light in my arms; I could lift you so easily."

_He's grown amazingly strong since I saw him last. _He smiled. "Talking mind to mind is a special skill, and moving objects at a great distance is a rare talent only found in a few Jedi. I'm glad it was Obi-Wan that spoke with you. He and I are… close."

S'ban talked for awhile longer, then brought food and drink. When he was at last gone, saying that he would let Qui-Gon eat in peace, Qui-Gon at first didn't eat. His mind lingered over that hesitation he'd heard in his own voice. He sensed that the hesitation wasn't because he didn't want to tell about his relationship with Obi-Wan, but that something had changed about that relationship. He didn't know what, but he refused to be frightened. Change occurred; the Force caused change, and to follow the Force was every Jedi's mission.

Casting that concern away, he turned his mind to things he could control. Obviously, he was meant to hide until he was strong, though why all had been led to believe that he was dead was beyond him. And _how _they had been led to such a conclusion was also a puzzle. If any Jedi died in the Force, the Force would be disturbed. And if a Jedi didn't die, that particular disturbance couldn't be created.

_Well, at least not by us. In the Force, anything is possible. _But why would the Force want to cause the rest of the Order pain? Why would it want to keep his continued existence secret? And, again, he returned to the question: how could Obi-Wan lie to the Council, to Yoda, to the galaxy in general? Lying wasn't a gift of the Light Force. It could never be. So maybe Obi-Wan had been touched by the Dark Force? No; he wouldn't have been able to talk mind to mind with S'ban- that was one advantage Light Force users had over their Dark Force counterparts, or so he'd always been taught. And besides, he knew Obi-Wan too well; his former apprentice would never go to the Dark Side. Impossible.

Reassured, Qui-Gon turned his mind to the future. For now, while waiting for Obi-Wan, he needed to regain his strength and to, as instructed, remain out of sight. He'd have to find a new name and though he'd be staying here for a time, he'd have to convince others to use it. That wouldn't be too difficult, even if S'ban had blurted a little much. Qui-Gon thought maybe he first thing he could do was get his hair cut- it had grown extremely long in three years- and maybe even shave his beard. He liked his beard, but it had characterized him sine he was old enough to grow one. It would simply have to go. Besides, he'd grown past such bodily desires.

_And even if I haven't, the Force asks it of me; who am I to say no?_

He lifted the spoon to his mouth; the soup really did smell wonderful. But before he could sip, he paused and sent up a request to the Force: _Look after Obi-Wan. He's going to need guidance in the days ahead. Protect him, please, but also continue to help him grow._

oOo

Their somber mood of the early morning had passed away. It was nearly time for the noon-day meal, and thoughts of death couldn't have been further from Obi-Wan's or Anakin's minds. They had made their way to the main sparring room after their talk, and had, by chance, met Reeft, Bant, Ferus and Nela there. They paired off this way: Anakin and Nela, Reeft and Obi-Wan, Bant and Ferus. The only winner decided in the first ten minutes was Obi-Wan; he'd somehow managed to jump two levels in saber training while on Dagobah, changing from a level five to a level seven. Reeft, though a level seven himself, hadn't been prepared for the change, no matter that he'd told Anakin what a good fighter was. He grumped about it, but good-naturedly, and vowed to challenge Obi-Wan again. Obi-Wan forestalled him, suggesting that they all switch partners when the other two teams were done. Anakin defeated Nela, and Bant defeated Ferus, though this last was a near thing, and Bant accused Reeft of teaching Ferus how to cheat. Ferus, at first a little defensive, relaxed quickly and even played along, thanking Reeft quite expansively.

Obi-Wan watched the byplay with a broad smile on his face. He'd missed this: just being at Temple and laughing.

Anakin startled him out of his daydreaming. "So, who fights who?"

Obi-Wan considered. "If you don't mind, Padawan mine, I'd challenge you and Nela together. I'd like some proof that I'm not all-powerful. Defeating Reeft so quickly has made me feel rather arrogant."

"Don't blame that conceited streak on me!" Reeft cried. He turned to Bant and Ferus. "Well, since Master Kenobi is hogging two padawans, I think it's only fair that I challenge a master and a knight." He shot a look at Obi-Wan. "Loser- you or me, Obi-Wan- has to fight three opponents of the winner's choosing."

"Ah, so you can be humiliated? How noble of you." Obi-Wan bowed. "I accept, on one condition: the loser has to fight the remaining five opponents."

"You really did become extra-cocky. So be it." Reeft bowed, then turned to Bant and Ferus. "Shall we?"

Obi-Wan and his opponents moved to the other side of the sparring room. Duels could range all over, but it was still best to start as far apart as possible.

Igniting his lightsaber, Obi-Wan said, "You're welcome to spend a moment in strategy if you wish."

Anakin laughed. "We did that while you and Master Reeft were busy posturing."

Obi-Wan chuckled, but didn't waste time in speech. Without any warning, he leapt at the two padawans, spinning his lightsaber like a windmill. It was a ploy that intimidated less experienced Jedi, but Nela and Anakin came in at once, forcing him to immediately engage them blade to blade. "So, Anakin, flying was _all_ you did while I was gone?" he demanded.

Anakin didn't have to speak; his wicked grin was enough. Coming in low, he swiped at Obi-Wan's legs. At the same moment, Nela swung high. They meant to catch Obi-Wan between their blades.

The master jumped over Anakin's blade and used the Force to knock Nela's from her hand. Then he somersaulted over her, headed for her lightsaber.

The lightsaber wasn't there. Anakin had grabbed it with the Force, and even as he ran at Obi-Wan, had tossed it to Nela, who caught it mid-spin and followed him.

Obi-Wan had disappeared. The two padawans wasted a moment staring around in shock, then they caught sight of him using one of the seats high above as a perching place. Nela moved to engage him, but Anakin caught her arm. "Wait," he said loud enough for Obi-Wan to hear. "He'll have to come down. He challenged us; remember that. Even if we keep him running, he loses." He grinned up at Obi-Wan. "You have to come down some time, Master, and you might want to make it sooner rather than-"

Anakin's lightsaber leapt from his hand. The padawan cried out in surprise, but brought the Force to bear. A tug of war, Force against Force, ensued, and, seemingly, the two were evenly matched.

That was when Nela leapt at Obi-Wan, forcing him to relinquish his hold on the lightsaber so he could defend himself. She engaged him on the narrow railing, balance becoming tantamount to good lightsaber skills. And when Anakin joined her, attacking from the rear, it looked as though they might have the master trapped.

Then they found their balance gone. The Force undulated around them, seizing around their muscles, making it impossible to move. They teetered and fell.

Obi-Wan leapt down ahead of them, guiding their progress to the ground. When they lay before him, he bowed to them. "Do you concede?" His moved his hand, and their mouths were able to work.

Nela said, "What is this?"

Anakin groaned. "I should've known. He pulled this on me once today."

"How soon you forget, Padawan mine. Do you concede?"

Anakin grumbled for a moment, but nodded.

Nela said, "Yes, but you have to teach us that."

"I will. I promise."

The three of them sat together in one corner while Obi-Wan spoke of the technique. But he was only able to explain the state of mind when Reeft came to him. He'd won, though narrowly; Bant and Ferus made a formative team. "Well, since we both won, but you won first, I suppose you'll all be attacking me now."

Anakin stood. "No. That was the agreement, but Master Obi-Wan's won too many times today. I think we should all challenge him."

"Either that or call in Master Yoda," Nela said.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "If you want, I'll fight all of you." He waved his hand. Ferus, Nela and Anakin fell over at once, but Reeft and Bant remained unaffected.

Bant laughed. "I tried to teach you that trick when we were thirteen. It's a shame you've only mastered it now." She waved her hand; Nela, Anakin and Ferus were released. "Now, let's have a fair fight."

Bant, Reeft, Ferus, Nela and Anakin fought instinctively, and also like a well-tuned machine, each knowing their part and each knowing their weaknesses. Even though they had never fought all together, each of them had fought with or against one of the others, and so they knew each other. Without needing to talk, they chose Anakin as the head of their attack force, since he knew Obi-Wan best, even Obi-Wan as he was now, because even if we learn knew skills, we can't change our essential nature. With Anakin as the spearhead, the others filled in the places Anakin missed. They didn't come in from all directions, as would have been expected, but changed each time, sometimes coming in all in the front, sometimes two on the right and three behind, or any other changing pattern they could think of. The same went for above and below. And though Obi-Wan tried to use his muscle-lock trick, Reeft and Bant shielded the others and themselves so well that the trick was little more than a distraction.

Within five minutes, Obi-Wan knelt, disarmed, surrounded by five fiery blades. He raised his hands and bowed his head. Grinning, he said, "I still have much to learn. Force be thanked. I'd be insufferable otherwise." As the weapons were withdrawn, he turned his eyes to Anakin. "Leadership suits you. Remind me to let you take the point position next time we're embroiled in aggressive negotiations."

Anakin handed Obi-Wan to his feet, then gave him his weapon back. "I won't forget."

Bant threw her arms around Obi-Wan and kissed his cheek, a gesture that made the three younger Jedi stare. She drew back. "That's for taking defeat like a man. I'm proud of you." She giggled. "Now, since you smell like a man, I'd suggest you go spend a little time in the 'fresher. Then you must teach your padawan how to combat and work that muscle trick. Reeft and I are going to teach these two."

He nodded. "It's time the trick passed beyond our circle."

Anakin's eyes widened. "You mean Yoda doesn't even know how to fight it?"

"He's never encountered it, at least not from Siri, Garen, Obi-Wan or myself," Reeft said. "But I'm sure he'd know how to fight it. I've never known a Jedi to come up with a new fighting technique that Yoda can't figure out in the midst of battle."

"Didn't any of you use it at your Trials?" Ferus asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "We promised to keep it a secret among ourselves and teach it to our padawans when we had them. Once you know it, of course, you're free to teach it to anyone you want."

"It's a handy little thing," Bant said. "But you'll invent your own ways of fighting that have nothing to do with what we've taught you."

Ferus looked to Reeft. "Why didn't you teach me?"

"I wanted to wait until Obi-Wan returned?" Reeft laughed. "No. That's not true. Honestly, I forgot about it." He sighed. "How often have I told you I'm getting old?" He turned to Obi-Wan, clapped him on the shoulder. "Ferus and I leave for a mission in three hours. Take care of yourself."

They embraced. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you."

The rest said their goodbyes; Bant and Nela were also leaving, though not until morning. And though they were due to return in two days, there was no guarantee Anakin and Obi-Wan wouldn't themselves be gone. There were embraces and bows all around, then Obi-Wan and Anakin returned to their quarters.

The Senate

Anakin stared down at Obi-Wan, who stood ten meters below. The younger Jedi swallowed. _I can't, _he thought. Then, immediately, _But the Force can. I have to trust._

_Good, _from Obi-Wan. _You know now that I will catch you. Trust the Force to catch you. And remember: much as you loathed it, you have done this before. And you have learned so much about the Force in three weeks' time; trust what you know. _A pause. _I am not going anywhere, Padawan mine. You are safe._

Anakin turned his back on his master. He closed his eyes. _Force, give me Obi's faith. _Not waiting for any sort of reassurance- he'd learned that the Force didn't always answer, but that it was always there- he cast himself backwards. The minute his feet left the platform, a strong hand caught him in midair. The hand was as long as Anakin was tall, assuring him that he was not going to fall. It cradled him, then turned him so that he faced the ground. Anakin whispered, "Thank you."

The Force let go when he was a meter off the ground and Anakin dropped, landing with knees slightly bent. Straightening, exhilarated, he looked to Obi-Wan.

His master smiled. "So, it wasn't that bad, was it?"

Anakin shook his head, then laughed. "It worked! It worked! I believed!" He shook his head. "But I doubted at the beginning. Why did it still work?"

"Because you told yourself to trust. What we say to ourselves, even in the midst of logic and fear, really matters. Belief is the key to a Jedi's connection to the Force."

"You've said that to me a hundred times before, but now I actually get it." He laughed again. "Guess I'm a slow learner."

"No. You're not." Obi-Wan grasped Anakin's shoulders. "Come. The time is right." He turned and strode back towards the entrance to the Temple.

Anakin didn't have to jog to keep up. In several long strides, he reached his master's side, then had to slow so they could walk together. "Time for what?"

"You'll see. Patience is-"

"-also a needed skill for all Jedi." Anakin sighed, but his eyes danced. They had these debates so often that they had become games. "I was just asking."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "And I gave you your answer." He glanced at Anakin. "It's not as if our quarters are very far from here."

Five minutes later, Anakin turned to face Obi-Wan. They stood a few meters apart, Anakin by the doorway to the kitchen and Obi-Wan by the bookshelf. "So, what's it time for?"

"Another step on your ourney from padawanship to knighthood." Obi-Wan tugged a length of cloth out of his pocket. Folding this expertly, he tied it around his eyes. "Come to me, Anakin. Put my hand on your shoulder, if you would."

Anakin did as he was told. Though he had a guess as to what this was, he couldn't be sure. If this was the ceremony for his senior padawanship, the ceremony was different than anything he'd ever expected. True, he'd never been told, but considering what little he knew of the Trials, and the ceremony he'd engaged in to become Obi-Wan's padawan in the first place, he'd expected this ritual to be something at least semi-familiar. Or at least recognizable s a ceremony.

"Lead me where you will."

"Master?"

"You may take me anywhere- inside or outside the Temple. But first, reach through the Force and tell me what you feel."

Again obeying, Anakin's eyes widened. "You've put up shields." He frowned. "Not just against me, but… against the Force? Is that possible?"

"Yes, though unpleasant for any Jedi. I am in tune with the Force that is in me, but I am not reaching out to that around me, nor am I allowing It to flow through me of Its own accord. Physically and metaphysically, if you will, I am blind. This is your task: guide me. Show me the world as you see it. I will follow, and from you I will leran. It's your job to see that I come to no harm."

Anakin was silent for a moment, considering what this meant. It was symbolic as well as literal; he'd been in the Jedi Order long enough to notice that symbols were used many times to represent true life changes. This was, he was almost sure, the senior padawan ceremony, or a preamble to that. Which could mean that Obi-Wan was only symbolically trusting him, or that Obi-Wan was trusting him completely. Knowing his master, his trust was complete. Anakin felt a rush of fear, wondering if he could do for Obi-Wan as his master needed. Then, expelling the fear, he reached up and touched Obi-Wan's ohand on his shoulder. "Where would you like to go, Master?"

"We have four hours to spend. I will choose one destination, but you must choose the others. Would you rather choose first, or shall I?"

Anakin weighed that. More than likely, Obi-Wan would choose somewhere difficult for them to go. Anakin knew that if he was going to have a chance of practicing before they were thrown into a hard situation, he must choose first. "I will choose, Master. I will take you for a walk through the Garden of a Thousand Fountains." With the countless foot bridges, cliffs and the noise of water to distract and (possibly) confuse Obi-Wan, it would be a good place for Anakin to test how much he would need to say, and how much would be too much. Also, he didn't quite believe that Ob-Wan would just follow docilely along; he expected a trick at any moment.

Obi-Wan didn't react to Anakin's choice of rooms. When he was fourteen, this lack of response would have made Anakin very nervous. Even when Obi-Wan first returned, he would have been constantly looking for approval and suggestions. But now, more sure of his abilities, he didn't let the lack of input bother him. The decision had been made; what more could he do but follow through? He started for the door, making sure Obi-Wan stayed with him. He didn't reah up and touch the hand on his shoulder again; it wasn't necessary yet. But even as he walked, he reached continually to the Force, knowing that if he was going to get a hint of what Obi-Wan was planning, it would come that way.

He led Obi-Wan out of their quarters and turned left.

"Aren't the Fountains off to the right?" Obi-Wan asked, and at once he let go of Anakin and started that way.

Anakin caught Obi-Wan gently with the Force, then placed his master's hand back on his shoulder. "Trust me, Master."

"I do." And when Anakin turned left this time, Obi-Wan followed without protest.

They passed others; Ryn-yn hailed them, and then fell silent, nodding to himself. Obi-Wan replied with a smile, but didn't speak. Yoda greeted them too, though he actually stopped them and tried to separate Obi-Wan from Anakin. Anakin kept his master with him, and when at last Yoda had moved on, Obi-Wan said, "Good," almost inaudibly.

Anakin took him into the gardens, walking among the fountains, learning how to tell Obi-Wan about steps, tree limbs, and narrow walkways. Twenty minutes later, when he was assured that he'd thought of everything, he led Obi-Wan to a bench and they sat. "We can go again in a minute, Master, and if you want to choose the next place, that's fine with me. I just wanted-" He had turned to face Obi-Wan, and the sight of Obi-Wan's blue-green eyes staring back at him shut him up. He started again, swallowing his surprise. "I thought you had to wear the blindfold."

"I do. It's just that-" Obi-Wan looked over Anakin's shoulder.

The younger Jedi turned, and saw two small birds flitting about together in one of the many baths. His throat suddenly tight, Anakin turned back to Obi-Wan took his hands. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I know you miss him."

"I shouldn't have looked. But I heard them, and I wanted to see." He squeezed Anakin's hands. "Do you know what kind of birds they are?"

Anakin nodded. Of course he did. Qui-Gon had pointed them out on Naboo. "They're called glis'li."

"And what does glis'li mean?"

Anakin's voice was scarcely above a whisper. " 'Yours forever.' Because they mate for life, and even though they only live thirty days, the babies grow up in a day and mate before the first sun sets. So for them, thirty days is forever." He moved closer to Obi-Wan. "Do you want a happy memory?" he asked delicately.

Obi-Wan blinked, and two tears escaped. "Yes," he said, his voice rough. "If you wouldn't mind."

"Close your eyes. You're surrounded by the music of the ten-stringed zyre, the native instrument of Bel le Taube. The Taubela believe that only males of their species can truly understand other males, and only females can understand other females." As Anakin spoke, the images and sounds he evoked cut through the shields in Obi-Wan's mind. Anakin's words brought up memories, and together, master and apprentice relived those long-ago nights. "You and Qui-Gon are there to review their application to join the Republic. After a week of long negotiations, they have finally agreed. To celebrate, the rulers have been holding a three-day banquet and dance…"

///Flashback///

Ni-kailo-Bel, the third son of the king, gave a half-bow to Obi-Wan, and then extended his hand. "Please," he said in carefully-enunciated Basic, "dance with me, young Jedi."

Obi-Wan, nearly twenty, bowed deeply. "Thank you," he returned in flawless Taubese. "It would be my pleasure." But in his mind, he reached out to Qui-Gon. _Should I? Will I be breaking any social laws?_

_None, Padawan mine. Enjoy yourself. And try to relax. This is probably the only vacation we'll have for the next ten years._

_Jedi are never on vacation. Not really._

_True, but this is close enough. _Qui-Gon chuckled silently. _Enjoy yourself. He has asked; don't turn him away._

Ni-kailo-Bel laughed. "Such talent!" He caught Obi-Wan's hand in his and spun him to the center of the floor. All other dancers parted for them. The prince bowed to his father and mother. In his native tongue, he intoned, words more like a song than speech, "Let this dance show the new union between our people."

The king nodded. "Indeed."

The queen smiled.

The prince bowed, then, as the music began, he took Obi-Wan, who was a head shorter than himself, into the dance, acting as leader of their pairing and also as teacher. "Your steps aren't quite as perfect as your knowledge of my language," he said.

Obi-Wan blushed. "I still have a lot to learn when it comes to dancing," he agreed.

Ni-kailo-Bel lifted Obi-Wan and spun, laughing again. "How did you learn my tongue so fast?" he asked as he set Obi-Wan down, light as a feather. "Surely there aren't any teachers at your Temple teaching it."

"No, Highness. I-"

"Ni. Please. Just Ni."

Obi-Wan blushed as the prince pressed closer in. "I learned most of it on the flight here. I've always had a-" his blush deepened- "natural affinity for language."

Ni pressed even closer. "Will you say my name, Jedi, so that I may say yours?"

"I'm Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Say my name, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Or may I call you Obi-Wan?" He spun the Jedi around again, lifting him twice- a rush of exhilaration that felt almost like flying- before setting him down once more.

"Ni." Obi-Wan thought he must be redder than the robe the prince wore, and he thought, _Why am I so embarrassed? It isn't like I haven't danced with royalty before. And it's not as if he's asking anything difficult of me._

In his mind, he heard Qui-Gon chuckle, but just then, his master chose not to enlighten him.

"That's better, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Obi-Wan's… just fine."

Ni leaned closer, whispered, "I've heard the Jedi aren't allowed to love. Is it true?"

Guilt, hot and stabbing. Obi-Wan forced himself to meet the prince's eyes. At least he could be honest, even if he wasn't living an honest life. "Yes."

"Are they allowed to make love?"

Obi-Wan groaned, looked away, looked back when the prince touched his cheek with warm, soft fingers. "I… can't."

Ni's eyes widened. "They made it so you can't? Surgery?"

"No!" Obi-Wan flinched at how loud his voice was. Lower, he said, "No. I've just… I don't think we're supposed to."

"But there's no law against it?"

Strictly speaking, there wasn't, and this realization came as somewhat of a shock to Obi-Wan. He'd never thought that what he and Qui-Gon did in the night was not under the law. "N-no. There isn't." He swallowed. "But if you're asking-"

Ni's smile was gentle. "I was, but you're still a virgin. I wouldn't take that from you." He bent his head and kissed Obi-Wan full on the lips. "If you ever find that you want to try making love, let me know." He moved into a more distanced dance, where they didn't have to be pressed so close. Continuing to smile, he said, "I hope you're not offended. I just thought I would ask." Another figure, then he asked, "Do you want to know why I asked you?"

_It's not because you wanted to show a new union between our people. _"Yes, please." He didn't really want to know, but nervous politeness was ever his fault as a padawan, especially when he was on his own, without Qui-Gon to guide him.

"It's because of your eyes. They're beautiful. And it's because of how you spoke when you spoke to your master. You sounded as though you were deeply devoted to him, and I thought maybe you had been with him. I see I was wrong, but still… your eyes speak most eloquently, Obi-Wan."

The dance ended, and after bowing and kissing Obi-Wan on the cheek, the prince retreated to the dais.

Obi-Wan retreated to Qui-Gon's side. His hands were shaking and his crosedd his arms, hiding the white, fluttering birds. _You were laughing._

_You weren't enjoying yourself?_

_You were enjoying watching me being embarrassed!_

Qui-Gon chuckled outright. _Obi mine, you need to learn to relax._

_But he was hitting on me!_

_What bothers you more: that he was interested in you, or that you were interested back?_

_I was not-_

_Of course you were. And I take no offense. He is very attractive. Besides, we're too much in love for me o feel threatened by a moment of flirtation on the dance floor._

_But I wasn't flirting back!_

_Your natural way of talking can be taken as flirtation in that sort of situation._

_You mean my stumbling over everything I say?_

_Your Taubese was perfect._

_That's not what I meant!_ Obi-Wan groaned. _Can't you take this seriously? He was trying to pick me up._

_Do you feel towards him as you did towards Xanatos?_

_No. _Positive. _He wasn't going to take advantage of me._

_Then what's wrong with a little innocent flirting?_

_Nothing, if I wasn't a Jedi and wasn't in love with you. But since neither of those is going to change-_

Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan to him and then led him to the floor. _My Obi-Wan, let it go. This isn't the time for me to give you a lecture, and you're too flustered by him to think straight. We'll talk about this later, all right?_

///End Flashback///

"But we never did," Obi-Wan murmured. "We moved on to another mission the next day, and then there just was never enough time. And once there was enough time, it had been six months, and I'd talked myself into-" He stopped, blinked at Anakin. "Do you want-?"

"To hear this? Yes. If you want to tell me."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Too much time had passed, and I told myself it wasn't worth bringing up." He smiled a little. "But since it bothers me even now, I suppose I should have talked to him. It bothered me that I was disloyal to him, even if it was only in my mind for half an instant."

"I'm sure he never held it against you. Qui-Gon was never like that."

"True for you. He wasn't." Obi-Wan wiped at another escaping tear. "Wasn't. Force help me."

Anakin squeezed Obi-Wan's hands firmly in his, and they sat in silence for close to five minutes.

At last, Obi-Wan roused himself. "The four hours are running swiftly behind us. There will be time for more comfort and memories later." He met Anakin's gaze. "Thank you."

"You don't always have to say it," Anakin said as his master donned the blindfold once more.

"Yes, I know, but I am newly grateful each time. Why not express it?" He stood, waited for Anakin to catch his hand. "Now, to Dexter's Café, if you please."

oOo

Anakin couldn't stop thinking about the memory the sight of the glis'li had brought up. As he and Obi-Wan walked the streets, and though Anakin had to be constantly on the alert, both for everything in their environment and tests Obi-Wan would spring, he realized quickly that he was overcome by jealousy. He wanted to be the one who tempted Obi-Wan. While this was far from a new revelation, it was so much stronger than it had ever been before that he was almost afraid. In the last three weeks, he'd learned to be introspective when it was called for, and now that training was allowing him to try and work through the feeling even as it grew.

He tried being logical: _That dance happened over eight years ago. Almost nine years ago. That prince has surely found a lover, and even if he hasn't, Obi-Wan didn't go with him. Obi-Wan stayed with Qui-Gon. And Qui-Gon's gone now. And even if that prince showed up right now, Obi-Wan would never be interested. He misses Qui-Gon too much for that. He does. I know he does._

He tried just banishing the feeling. And he tried telling himself he'd deal with it later. Nothing worked. He was so flaming-hot jealous he thought he might just grab Obi-Wan right there and kiss him, claim him for his own.

He darted a glance around. And weren't an awful lot of people looking at Obi-Wan? Weren't an awful lot of powerfully-built _men_ looking at Obi-Wan, sizing him up, taking pleasure in seeing him being led around under blindfold?

He muttered, needing something of an answer, "Doesn't anyone ever think of this as a sexual thing? I mean, it looks like I'm treating you as a slave." He was only half expecting an answer, since this was still part of the test or ceremony or whatever it was, but he was praying hard for one.

"How could you be doing that when it's _my_ hand on _your_ shoulder? And look at my face. Do I look afraid, docile, adoring or ashamed?"

Anakin admitted silently that Obi-Wan looked every bit the confident Jedi, blindfold or no blindfold. "I'm sorry," he said.

"For what? Asking? Anakin, don't fall into my old trap: thinking you have to be perfect. Trust me; you have your own traps to fall into. Don't waste time in mine."

If this had been three weeks ago, Anakin might have demanded to know what his own traps were, but now he could take comfort in the fact that Obi-Wan trusted him enough to let him make his own mistakes without being protected. Releasing his concern and trying not to look at those who walked around them, Anakin said, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it, Padawan mine. That's what I'm here for." A small smile, barely glimpsed. "Besides, if I couldn't teach you, what would I do with my life?"

Anakin grinned, comforted and flattered, even though he knew Obi-Wan was partly joking. "Who knows? You might be farming."

Obi-Wan shuddered. "I just might. Force thank you for Anakin Skywalker and his mistakes." He snickered, then tripped over an invisible crack in the sidewalk and tried to get himself killed by falling without even an attempt to catch himself.

Anakin used the Force to catch him, then muttered, "I'll be glad when you have that thing off."

"Two and a half hours to go yet. Let's go see what kind of mischief I can get into, shall we?"

Anakin groaned. "I was never this much trouble as a padawan."

"Says who?"

"Says me. Now come on, Master; we've still got a lot of Coruscant to see."

"Who's going to see it?"

"Do you always have to have the last word?"

"No. That's what I have you for."

"Okay then, here's the final word: walk."

oOo

Obi-Wan took off the blindfold and tied it over Anakin's eyes. They had returned to their quarters, the walking accomplished. Still Obi-Wan didn't say if he was satisfied with Anakin's skill.

The master helped his padawan to kneel, and then he knelt also. "Reach out. What do you feel?"

Anakin breathed in and out. He had spent most of the last hour freeing himself of his feeling of jealousy. He hadn't really achieved full release, but he'd relegated the emotion to a lower, less intrusive part of his mind. "The Temple, like a huge, living creature, filled with focus and distractions, and yet never divided against itself. The Force runs through everything like the blood in our bodies, bringing strength and vitality to all of us. Closer to hand, I sense you want to tell me something." He smiled.

"Yes, all of that is true." Obi-Wan laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "What else do you feel from me?"

"You're…" For a moment, Anakin was overwhelmed by what he sensed. The emotions weren't new, but their sustained intensity was. "You're proud of me. You're having trouble balancing what you see in me now with what you imagine for me in the future. A bright future. You believe, with everything that is part of you, that I will save the galaxy and restore the balance of the Force." Anakin felt a flicker of doubt, not from Obi-Wan, but from his own heart. "I can't quite see that yet."

"That's all right; you have plenty of time. How do you feel blindfolded?"

Anakin thought to say confused, because it was dark, but he realized that everything he needed to know came from the Force, including Obi-Wan's feelings and the feel of everything around him. When he reached out more, he realized he could sense every table and chair in their quarters. Maybe he'd always had this ability, but he'd never depended so heavily on it before. "I could fight like this," he whispered, then, coloring slightly, "I didn't mean to say that out loud. You want my emotional state."

"Actually, those words show your emotional state quite well. You are confident, sight or sight. Is that true?"

Anakin nodded.

"Good." Obi-Wan drew Anakin to his feet, then guided his padawan across the room.

Anakin could sense they were approaching the balcony doors.

When they stood before the doors, Obi-Wan removed the blindfold. He stepped back, holding the innocent cloth in one hand. With the other, he touched Anakin's chest. His hand moved as he spoke. "From heart to mind to lips to limbs the Force moves. You will continue to grow in the Force, but today you have taken an important step. You are a senior padawan this day." He dropped the blindfold and put both hands on Anakin's shoulders. "Welcome to the next step on your journey, and know that if you continue to apply yourself as you have these past three weeks, you will be a Knight within two years. Congratulations." He stepped back.

Anakin hesitated, then asked, "Does that mean I can't get a hug sometimes?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "It means nothing of the sort." He opened his arms. When Anakin came into them, Obi-Wan said, "I'm very-"

Their door chimes rang.

Anakin groaned and drew back. "I'll get it."

Obi-Wan picked up the blindfold. "I'll put this away for next time."

"Next time?"

The master chuckled. "You'll see. Go answer the door."

Grinning, Anakin went to the door.

Shaak Ti waited for him. "Master Obi-Wan is requested in the Chancellor's office as soon as possible." She paused. "You may attend if you wish, Padawan."

Obi-Wan appeared beside Anakin. "Thank you."

She nodded, then, reaching out, laid a hand on his arm. "All our best wishes for the healing of the Senate rest on your shoulders, young master Kenobi."

He bowed. "The fate rests with the Force, not me, Master."

She nodded, and strode away.

Anakin murmured, "They've made a decision so fast?"

"I'm surprised, too. Come on. Let's not keep the Chancellor waiting." As they walked quickly towards the nearest lift, Obi-Wan said, "If I am chosen to become the Jedi representative and investigator in the Senate, we won't be going on any missions for a while. But you'll be seeing a lot of what's been happening in the galaxy right there. Also, you'll gain some more experience in diplomacy." They entered the lift and he turned to face Anakin. "I don't know how long this is going to last, Anakin. You might become bored."

Anakin squared his shoulders. "I'm a lot better at not looking bored now. And I understand the need for diplomacy more now than I did when I was fourteen."

"I'm glad. But I also don't want one continuous mission to stunt your growth as a padawan. You don't want to be trailing after me when you're thirty, do you?"

Anakin laughed. "It wouldn't last that long." He hesitated. "Would it?"

Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin's nervousness. "Very doubtful. Still, if you do get bored, there are two other ways to continue your growth. Both would be away from me, but I think by the time you get bored with the Senate, the two of us won't feel such a driving need to be near each other."

Anakin took a step closer, touched Obi-Wan's arm. "How long are we going to feel like this?"

"Weeks? Months?" Obi-Wan shrugged. "Our relationship is different than many, and certainly different than any I've ever been in before, so I can't even venture a guess." He smiled. "It's not hurting us, so there's no reason to worry about it just yet."

"Can I ask something?"

"About Qui-Gon? Yes."

Anakin shook his head. "Did you ever feel like you couldn't be away from Qui-Gon for long?"

Obi-Wan considered that as they left the lift and started out of the Temple and across the nearest bridge to the Senate rotunda. "When I was thirteen, I couldn't imagine being away from him. As I grew, the need intensified. By the time you entered our lives, I felt both that I couldn't stand to be away from him, and yet as if we were meant to be apart sometimes. You and I may come to a point like that, when you want to grow, and yet you don't want to leave."

"Circumstances separated you and Qui-Gon not long after I showed up. Did your need to be with him get less?"

"Gradually. It still aches, and as long as I live, I never want that ache to go away. But, yes, the feeling grew less, became manageable." He stopped, met Anakin's gaze. "If you and I grow apart, don't think of it as a betrayal or as a failure between us. If we grow apart, it will be because the Force called us to grow and we listened."

Anakin said, "I don't think we'll ever grow apart."

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, then he said, "Will you entertain the possibility, in theory, that we might?"

"Only in theory. Because anything is possible in the Force."

"Well said." A pause. "I don't think we'll be parted, either."

Two minutes later, they entered the rotunda, Anakin walking slightly behind as protocol dictated. And a minute after that, they entered the Chancellor's outer office. At once, they were conducted to the inner office.

Yoda sat before the Chancellors desk, and Mace sat beside him. At a wave from the Chancellor, Obi-Wan and Anakin took the chairs to the right of the two masters. A being in slightly-altered senatorial robes stood behind the Chancellor and slightly to his right, in unexpected mirror of how Anakin and Obi-Wan had entered.

"I trust I wasn't interrupting anything when I summoned you," the Chancellor said.

"The Jedi are always ready to serve the Republic," Obi-Wan answered.

(Anakin noted the diplomat's mask that had dropped over Obi-Wan's features. He thought, _I guess we have be diplomats even here, because everyone has his own agenda. But I wish we could be unguarded with everyone as we are with each other. Wouldn't that be true trust?_ He counted himself naïve for thinking such a thing, but he still wished for it.)

"You're here today so I can ask you to serve." Chancellor Palpatine gestured and the Twi-lik, stepped forward. "This is Investigator Bralin. He will be assisting you in ridding the Senate of corruption. As Master Yoda has said, this is a great service you will be conducting for the Republic. I'm not asking for arrests, understand; there is a way to stop corruption without exposing and alienating planets and systems. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, Chancellor."

"Though addressing a problem head-on is sometimes the only way to solve it," Mace added. "We must not preclude that possibility."

"I don't mean to suggest that problems shouldn't be dealt with head-on, as you put it. I just believe that discretion can be used." Palpatine looked back to Obi-Wan. "Your padawan is of course welcome to join you."

"Thank you. He will be."

Palpatine rose, and the others did likewise. "Well, I will see you tomorrow morning on the Senate floor then." He stepped aside. "Masters," he said to Yoda and Mace, "may I speak with you for a moment?"

Bowing Obi-Wan and Anakin left. Bralin followed them.

When the three of them stood in the outer office, Bralin held out his hand. "We'll be dancing a careful dance, Master Jedi," he said, shaking Obi-Wan's hand. "We must present a united front, and yet be comfortable enough with each other to voice our concerns."

"Let's start then with first names. Please call me Obi-Wan. This is my padawan, Anakin."

"Call me Bralin. For my race, first names are kept hidden until true friendship develops." He turned for the outer. "I will see you in the morning. Bright and early."

When he was gone, Anakin sent, _So much for wanting to present a united front. _

_Well, after all, Padawan, he's never been in this position before. _They stood off to one side ot await Yoda and Mace.

_And I thought Twi-liks had no problem with first names._

_They don't, as a rule._

_So he lied! How can you trust someone like that?_

_You can work with someone, share their goals, even change the world together, without completely trusting someone. And think: why do the Jedi abstain from lying?_

_Because it causes confusion and clouds the Light Force._

_Exactly. Bralin doesn't have the Light Force on his mind, and maybe he hasn't thought about the doubts his words could raise. Sometimes, it feels easier to lie than to tell the truth._

Anakin nodded. His mental tone was rueful. _I know all about that._

_Don't be hard on yourself, Padawan mine, _Obi-Wan sent affectionately._ So do all Jedi who reach the level of senior padawan. Lying is one of the first challenges we have to overcome. And if you're still feeling uncomfortable, think about how late it was before I truly learned that lying wasn't a good idea._

Yoda and Mace appeared then, and the four of them headed back to the Temple. Only when they were safely within Temple walls did Yoda speak. "Careful you must be to not allow others to trap you with their words. And clear you must be about your own beliefs."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master."

Yoda moved his hover chair closer to Obi-Wan. Listen both to the words said and how they are said you must. And reach to the Force always you must."

"Yes, Master."

"And now that perhaps nervous I have made you, say this I will: confident I am in you, Master Obi-Wan. Change the Senate you will help to, and change the Republic will. Slowed and perhaps even reversed the progress of the Dark Force can be."

oOo

Obi-Wan's expression didn't change, but he was filled with a very un-Jedi-like desire to take out his lightsaber and shove it through something. Or maybe, just possibly, someone. Three problems with that: one, his lightsaber was back in his quarters, because shortly after he'd started working in the Senate, Chancellor Palpatine had taken him aside and asked him to not bring his weapon in as a show of trust. Knowing that such diplomatic gestures were part of his job, Obi-Wan acquiesced, though he'd just longed to hide the weapon under his cloak. Two, he really had no desire to kill anyone, so he was left with running his non-present lightsaber through tables or walls. Three, running his non-present lightsaber through tables or walls wouldn't have given him the sort of release he needed.

Two months had passed since he initially met Investigator Bralin, and the thing that had changed between them was that Obi-Wan had become aware of the lengths Bralin would go to in order to keep the status quo. He blocked Obi-Wan's every attempt to dispel corruption, and Obi-Wan's only consolation was that Bralin failed at least nine times out of ten. The Senate, despite the Twi-lik's best efforts, was becoming a better place to work, and a machine for change instead of a machine for stagnation.

Remembering this, Obi-Wan was able to release his irritation and annoyance. Bralin was currently lecturing him on doing things the proper way, making sure that the senators weren't made uncomfortable, even the ones who needed to be made uneasy. "We don't want to lose any planets," he kept saying, and no matter how many times Obi-Wan pointed out that thirty worlds who had considered leaving were now content, Bralin came back to his first point.

There was a secondary reason for Obi-Wan's irritation, a reason that was quickly taking precedence over his dislike for Bralin: Chancellor Palpatine. Obi-Wan wanted Anakin gone from the Senate more and more each day, and he found himself wishing that he could just leave the Senate to fend for itself and take Anakin away from the corruption, the back-stabbing and the politics. The Jedi Master was rapidly coming to believe something that Qui-Gon had said once or twice when the two of them were working with senators: _They can't be trusted. They believe only in the depth of their backers' pockets. _As much as Obi-Wan didn't want to judge anyone, he found that Qui-Gon's words made more and more sense.

Bralin was at last winding down. And when he finally said, "Just go. It's been a long day," Obi-Wan rose at once and gestured for Anakin to come with him.

Anakin exploded almost as soon as they were out of the Investigator's office. (Obi-Wan hadn't been office, but neither had he wanted one, believing that he spend too much time in the Senate as it was.) "He can't talk to you like that! Like you're just an underling, or maybe even a slave! He doesn't change things; you do. And how can he-"

Obi-Wan led Anakin away from Bralin's office. "Peace, Anakin. Peace." _And here's another reason I want Anakin out of here: the corruption is getting to him. He hasn't yet learned how to let personal slights go. _Obi-Wan almost smiled. _So, I am teaching traits I shouldn't be. I must work on that._

"No! He's acting like-"

Obi-Wan held up a hand. Moments later, they both heard the footsteps approaching.

The chancellor swept around the next corner. He blinked, seeming surprised to see them. "I thought you'd be off home, Master Kenobi," he said. "It's getting late."

"We were just now leaving," Obi-Wan answered, taking a calculated step forward and slightly to the right, partially screening Anakin.

"Well, I won't keep you. But I do have some concerns about how young people may react to a new measure in the Senate, and I thought to discuss it with Anakin."

Obi-Wan didn't frown, didn't give anything away. "I'm sorry, but Anakin is returning to Temple, and will continue his training there tomorrow. He has Trials to prepare for." Obi-Wan turned to Anakin, met his gaze. "Please go work with the younglings under Master Yoda's care. I will be there shortly."

Anakin hesitated, then bowed slightly. "Yes, Master." He nodded to Palpatine. "Chancellor." Then he was striding briskly away, not looking back.

oOo

Anakin grumbled to himself as he left the Senate building. He couldn't understand Obi-Wan's sudden request, and he wanted nothing more than to reach through the Force and demand to know what was going on. But something in the way Obi-Wan had spoken prevented him, and he had to let it go.

Walking under Coruscant's bright night sky, he scowled deep and hard. _What's your problem? Did you want to get rid of me? Was there something 'adult' I wasn't supposed to hear? I'm going to be seventeen in two days, and you said yourself that I'll be a Knight in less than two years. So why'd you send me away? Didn't you trust me to work with the Chancellor? Can't you trust me to work on my own?_

Still steaming, he swung around the first corner inside the Temple and ran smack into Reeft, who was coming the other way.

Reeft raised an eyebrow. "Anakin?" He had started to smile, but this expression fled. "What's wrong? Where's Obi-Wan?"

"Still in the Senate. He sent me to go work with the younglings." Anakin's hands fisted at his sides. Breathing deeply, trying hard to keep from shouting, he asked, "Can I talk to you?"

Reeft nodded and led Anakin into a meditation room. Closing and locking the door, Reeft said, "Try to calm down first. Find little bits of your anger and release them."

Anakin did, though most of his anger was one huge chunk of frustration/hurt. He sighed and forced himself not to pace. "Obi-Wan sent me out of the Senate just after the chancellor asked me to hear a bill that's going to concern young people. And the way Obi-Wan talked, I won't be going back into the Senate again any time soon." He grimaced. "It's like he doesn't trust me to present Jedi views and the views of younger people at the same time."

"So, he sent you away." Reeft nodded. "I can see why you're frustrated. And he gave no explanation?"

Anakin shook his head, but he already felt calmer. Just getting the words out had helped. And the fact that Reeft seemed to understand made things better. Anakin felt a pang of regret. _He's doing just what Obi does: trying to see things from my point of view._

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"You said it was like Obi-Wan didn't trust you. Is that something you felt or something that just makes sense right now, considering how he treated you?"

Anakin frowned over that, then said, "The second one. And I know that's just me jumping to conclusions, but I can't see what else it could be."

"Maybe Obi-Wan had something else on his mind. This whole breaking-up-corruption business is both against his nature and with it. He was meant to be a diplomat, I think, but maybe he wasn't meant to be in the viper pit each and every day." Reeft crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "Would you mind if I go talk to him and find out what's on his mind?"

Anakin couldn't believe the relief he felt. "Please," he said. Then, "I shouldn't be afraid to talk to him, but I just don't think I understand him sometimes."

"That's normal; all padawans and masters go through a time like this. However you feel, and however he feels, I'm going to give you both the same advice: don't let your feelings of being pulled apart _pull you apart_. You still love him?"

Anakin nodded. "And I hate being away from him like this." He groaned. "And only two months ago, we both thought we'd never be separated."

"Who says you're separated now? Like I said, every master-padawan team goes through rough times. Don't look at this as an end, but as a way to deepen your understanding of him. Tell me something: you admitted to me once that you listened to the rumors."

"I don't anymore!"

Reeft held up a hand. "I know. How you act has proven that. But think about this: you saw him as imperfect in some ways before, but did you ever see him as less than perfect in his words? Have you always thought of him as someone who could make mistakes? Consciously think of him that way?"

Anakin blinked, stared. "No," he whispered. "I always assumed, even when he made mistakes years ago, that he'd grown out of them by now. He came back from Dagobah so much stronger and so changed… I just assumed… So what you're saying is that I have to remember that Obi makes mistakes too?"

"Precisely."

"Okay. I can do that." He felt much better, though now he was worried about Obi-Wan. What could have possibly driven his near-perfect master to make such a mistake as send Anakin away with out explanation, like Anakin meant nothing at all? Worried, but wanting to show Reeft his gratitude, Anakin said, "Thank you. I feel better."

Reeft nodded. "Where will you be? When I'm done talking to Obi-Wan, I'm sure he'll want to talk to you."

"In…" He wanted to be alone, but Anakin was conscious of the fact that he wanted to do what Obi-Wan had ordered him to, just to show his master that he could listen. "The younglings' room. Ages eight to ten. I'll stay there for a while, help out a bit."

Reeft nodded. Crossing the room, he touched Anakin's shoulder. "He'll come to see you soon." Turning, he left.

Sighing, Anakin headed for the younglings' room. When he entered, he wanted to leave. All the younglings looked so happy, he felt like he had no business being there.

"Hi, Anakin."

He almost jumped out of his skin. The sweet voice shouldn't have startled him, but her use of his name, and the fact that she was standing very, _very_ close unsettled him. He ressited the urge to take a step back, and put a smile on his face. "Hi, Annie."

"Can I talk to you? Alone?"

Anakin blinked. _Why?_ rose to his lips, but he swallowed it. Likewise, he stopped himself from dismissing her. "Sure." He stepped aside and gestured for her to precede him into the hall. When the door was closed, he asked, "Do you want a place more private?"

"No. This is all right." She looked up at him with big green-blue eyes that shone as though a hundred stars twinkled somewhere behind them.

He responded to those eyes, kneeling before her so their eyes could meet more easily. "What is it, Annie?" he whispered.

"I wanted to tell you I know who my parents are. Even if Obi-Wan didn't say it when he talked about being with Qui-Gon, I know." She glared at him. "Do you know why he didn't tell everyone about me?"

Anakin had a pretty good idea, and it shocked him to realize that maybe Obi-Wan was seeing him, Anakin, as he saw Annie: as a child, someone he must protect. Anakin couldn't decide if this made him feel better or worse. "I think he wanted to spare you from a hundred questions. When I was growing up here, other padawans asked me questions I didn't want to answer all the time. I didn't come to Temple until I was nine, and that confused a lot of people. He was probably just protecting you. It's hard to be different."

She seemed a little mollified. "Do you remember when I was born?"

Profoundly uncomfortable- _there's no way I want to tell her how she was born in pain and fear-_ Anakin said, "Yes."

"Where was I born?"

"On Ragoon 6."

"What city?"

"There aren't any cities on that planet. It's all wilderness."

"You mean, I wasn't born in a medical facility?"

_Force help me. _"We didn't know exactly when you were coming; there wasn't time to get off-planet."

"Who delivered me? Qui-Gon?"

"And me." Anakin shifted his feet. "Annie, maybe these are questions you should ask Obi-Wan."

"He said not to go to him because it would be too painful for me."

_More likely it would form a bond between the two of you that would be hard to get rid of later. It makes sense. And so who else is she going to ask? I was the only other one there. _Still, he wasn't ready to answer these questions. "I need to sit down with my master and ask him what he wants revealed. Many younglings have questions about where they were born and who their parents are, but now that you're a Temple initiate, you have to make the Temple your home, the Jedi your people, the Force your father." He hid his surprise well, but that speech had shocked him. He'd heard it once when he first started training with Obi-Wan: Yoda had given it to a room full of younglings, and Obi-Wan thought it would be good for Anakin to hear it, too. Only speaking it now showed Anakin how much he'd come to believe those very things. Even though he'd dreamed of his mother off and on for months, he was always able to wake up, reach out to the Force, and know that his mother was safe, but that he was also meant to stay here at Temple, that his family was now here. That didn't mean he didn't still love his mother, but his loyalties were shifting, just as Obi-Wan had said they would. Surprise on top of surprise. Anakin almost smiled.

She was quiet for a moment, then she said, "All right."

He stood and started to turn away, deciding he'd give up the younglings' room for now and go do something less stressful. Flying, maybe.

"But what was it like when I was born? Did he smile when he saw me? Did Qui-Gon smile? Did it hurt him when I was born? Did they settle on my name at once?"

Anakin couldn't face her. His arms at his side felt stiff as boards. "Annie, these aren't questions I can answer."

"Does he love you more than me?"

Anakin's heart seized. He turned back, glaring down at her. "How could you ask something like that?"

She stared up at him. "Does he? If you and I were both in danger, who would he try to save?"

"Both of us," Anakin said with conviction, his shock momentarily swallowed by that truth. "A Jedi's job is to save people."

"I thought a Jedi's job was to follow the Force. What if the Force told Obi-Wan-"

"You're still a youngling- call him Master Obi-Wan." His voice sounded feeble to his own ears, but he felt so lost; he clung to protocol as he never had.

"What if the Force told him to let me die?"

Anakin swallowed. He had no words for her. "I'll talk to my master about your questions." He turned and strode quickly away. Yes, flying. He needed to go flying.

oOo

Obi-Wan rounded the mile-high spire, keeping a respectful distance between himself and his fleeing padawan. The Force had called him as he entered the Temple. He'd run into Reeft on the way, and his old friend said that Anakin was anxious. Obi-Wan didn't stay to hear the rest, and even though Reeft shouted after him that Anakin was with the younglings, Obi-Wan ignored him and followed the Force's call to the platform. He wasn't in time to see Anakin take off, but he sensed that his padawan wasn't far, so he had jumped in a speeder and followed.

As he baked hard, skimming between two buildings that were much too close for straight flying, he reached out through the Force. His padawan's unease carried easily back to him, and he sensed also how overwhelmed Anakin felt. _Anakin? _he called. _Padawan mine, can we talk?_

Hesitation carried down the link. _I need to fly. I need to… _Embarrassment. _I need to let some things go._

_All right. Shall we race?_

Surprise. _Really?_

_Really._

_But you don't like flying. Not crazy flying, anyway._

_If it helps you find your center and allows me to stay close to you, I can manage._

_But you didn't want to stay close to me before. You sent me away._

_Now, we can either talk or fly. You may be the most gifted pilot in a century, Anakin, but I need all my focus or you and I won't get a chance to talk._

_You're not that bad a flier. _But Anakin conceded the point. _There's a flat roof a mile west. Do you see it?_

Obi-Wan checked his instruments. _Yes._

_There's enough space for us to land there. We can talk. Then fly._

_Agreed._ Obi-Wan banked right and headed in.

Moments later, standing at the edge of the roof, the two of them surveyed the city spread out before them. They didn't speak for several minutes.

Finally, Anakin asked, "Are you frustrated with me?" He sounded defensive.

"Why should I be? You took an opportunity to work through your feelings. And wasn't it you who said that Jedi have feelings too?"

Anakin grimaced. "I wish I didn't."

_So do we all sometimes. _Obi-Wan kept the thought to himself for the moment. Anakin seemed inclined to only speak out loud. "Because they hurt?"

"Because they're confusing." He turned to face Obi-Wan. "Why did you send me away?"

Obi-Wan hadn't known this was coming. He'd hated the choice he'd been forced to make, but he stood by his decision. "I didn't want you working in the Senate."

"Because I lost my temper." Anakin stared down at his shoes. "I didn't mean to, but he was insulting you, and I hate that."

"It wasn't because you were angry; if anything, I would have liked to keep you there for a little longer so you could learn how to let ignorant comments like his roll off your back. They didn't hurt me: I already know what the Force is telling me to do. I don't need approval from him, or even neutrality."

"Oh." Anakin met Obi-Wan's gaze. "I didn't need to defend you; he really wasn't bothering you." He chuckled; couldn't help it, seemingly. His eyes shone. " 'Ignorant comments'?"

"I only call them what they are, Padawan mine."

"I'm not arguing with you. They were ignorant. I guess I wanted to teach him about you. I want-" he colored, but didn't look away- "I want to teach the whole galaxy how amazing you are sometimes. Because you changed my life, and because you've changed your own. When you came back from Dagobah, it was like the Force said, 'yes, this is what a Jedi is supposed to be like'."

"Do you hold me in such high regard, Padawan mine? I'm human, like you. I breathe, just like you do."

Anakin rubbed the back of his neck, then dropped his hand. "Can I tell you about that later? It has bearing on why I got so angry."

"All right."

"So, if you didn't send me away because I got angry, why did you do it?"

"I don't want you near Palpatine anymore."

Anakin took a step closer, his eyes intense. "What's the danger to me that wouldn't be there for you?"

"He isn't interested in me. But he seems to want to get you alone continually."

Anakin's eyes widened, and he laughed, though it was an uneasy sound. "I don't think he's interested in me like _that_, Obi."

_Sexually? Is that the only threat you think there is in the universe: lust? _Obi-Wan released his frustration. _If I've taught you that, I'm sorry._ "No," he said quietly, "but he wants to bring you over to his side."

"Isn't he on the side of the Republic?"

_If he was, we wouldn't be having this discussion. If I thought I could trust him, if I thought he wasn't so- _Obi-Wan forced himself to stop. Some of that needed to be said out loud. How could he expect Anakin to understand if he didn't explain? Anakin was long past the time when he didn't need to know all the whys and wherefores his master could provide. "I'm going to use a very un-Jedi-like phrase, Anakin. It's the one you used to describe that Tre'lite who tried to sell you death sticks. Remember him? The one with the rich, luxurious clothes-"

"-and the grin that looked half crazy." Anakin nodded.

"You told me-" they said this next in perfect unison- "he gives me the creeps." Obi-Wan continued, "Well, Chancellor Palpatine gives _me_ the creeps. I can't substantiate any of what I feel with the Force, but in light of the fact that the Force has been telling me to trust my instincts more, I did just that. The Chancellor should be for the Republic, but I think he's on his own side. He's helping the Republic because it helps him. He couldn't corrupt you; your beliefs are too firmly grounded. But I was possessed by this almost all-consuming urge to get you away from him, and I listened to it." He paused, then said, "You've learned all about that sort of backstabbing, self-serving diplomacy and don't need any further teaching in that area. Even though that's a secondary reason, it's still true. There is so much more you can learn in other places. Take this opportunity; once you become a Knight, your time will never truly be yours again."

"You can't protect me forever, Obi."

"I know, and I don't really want to, unless it's in my weaker moments. For the most part, all I want is to help you reach the stars, or give you the skills to do it on your own. But, as I said, he bothers me."

Anakin frowned. "I'll stay away from him if you promise me something."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow.

"Be careful. If he's dangerous, then he'll show himself as dangerous to everyone." He blinked when Obi-Wan started laughing. "What?"

"You're showing your progress daily," he murmured. "Are you tired of me saying I'm proud of you?"

Anakin touched Obi-Wan's hand. "I'm sorry I was angry with Bralin."

His master chuckled. "You're forgiven."

"What will I do while you're in the Senate? I'm not sure working with younglings is for me." He frowned. "And I don't want to be away from you. Even if he isn't dangerous."

A moment passed between them, something neither understood. Then Obi-Wan said softly, "You could work with Reeft while I'm in the Senate. And when you're planetside, we can still train together."

Anakin stared out at the cityscape. "Okay. I can't pretend I like it."

"You don't have to. This won't last forever." He paused. "Or I can ask Master Yoda to choose another Jedi to take my place in the Senate. We've lost two years of working together, and a few months won't make up for all that time."

"Would you really- for me?"

"For both of us." Obi-Wan sighed. "Would you like me to ask?"

"No." The padawan grasped Obi-Wan's arm. "You've changed everything in the Senate. Some of those senators are so scared of you they don't dare fart sideways." He added, "But I think I'll stay planetside most of the time. I know it would be 'stunting my growth' as a padawan, but… If I don't become a Knight until twenty or twenty-five, that's longer I'll spend with you."

"Anakin, think about what you just said."

"I am. Obi, each Jedi chooses their path, right? If you like working with younglings, or if you're a good diplomat, or if you're meant to carry out aggressive negotiations, the Force helps you fulfill your purpose. I'm not meant to stay a padawan forever, but I am meant to be here, now, with you. Ask the Force if you don't believe me."

Obi-Wan reached out, and the answer came at once: they weren't meant to be separated. Yet. Soon, they would be, but not yet. He nodded. "You're right," and decided not to tell Anakin about the coming change. "So you'll stay planetside?"

"With Master Reeft when he's here. When he's not…" Anakin grinned. "I still need to learn how to swim, and how to use other weapons besides a lightsaber and blaster. Isn't Master Siri skilled with a hundred weapons?"

"She is indeed." Obi-Wan gestured towards the ships. "Shall we?"


	32. Lost and Separated Again

Author's Note: The following four or five chapters (there are only two in this posting) are set during the second movie. Any scene that I don't dissect or change completely is as it was in the movie, i.e. Obi-Wan really does go talk to Dex, then, when he can't find Kamino in the charts, he doesn't talk to Yoda about it, or Anakin and Padme still talk about Jedi being 'encouraged to love'. I chose not to add these scenes because there were no changes. Please let me know if this is confusing. Thank you- Estel Baggins

Going Forth As OnePg. 590

The SenatePg. 612

LostPg. 635

Separated AgainPg. 656

Lost

Anakin gazed at the small circle of flowers that had been left on the low table in front of the couch. Rooshes were intertwined with lils and the ruby-red glis-lilia, from which the little birds, glis-li, got their name. The little birds were always flitting around the gem-like flowers.

He'd woken shortly after dawn to the sense that the quarters were deserted. He'd had six or seven nightmares, and had been looking forward to sitting with Obi-Wan for a short, quiet breakfast before his master had to get to the Senate. But his sense had been right; Obi-Wan was gone, leaving behind Anakin's birthday present and a short letter.

Picking up the folded page, feeling nothing but depression, Anakin read,

_Happy birthday, Anakin. I'm sorry I can't be there to share this special morning with you, but Master Yoda called me while you still slept, and asked me to report alone. The good news is that the Senate isn't in session today, so when I return from speaking with the Council, we'll have the whole day together, and the following as well, since the Senate is on holiday. More good news: I know I returned late last night and we barely talked, so I didn't get a chance to share this: you already know how much progress has been made in the Senate- I'm hoping I can take two or three weeks off (with Master Yoda's permission) and be with you. The Force is right: we aren't meant to be apart, and sharing the same quarters and seeing each other for ten minutes at a time isn't enough._

_Look at the flowers. The rooshes are not only love-flowers, they are flowers of friendship and caring. I picked them before leaving for the meeting with Master Yoda. The glis-lilia are to thank you for helping me through my grief each and every day. When I wake each morning, I know the sorrow will be a little easier to bear than it was the night before. And the lils… well, I don't have to tell you about those, do I? The circle of the wreath is like all circles: a symbol of things that have been and things that will be. A symbol of life, some say. I'd like to add- and you probably knew this was coming, Padawan mine- the wreath is also a symbol of the never-ending path of the Force. You can see balance and completion in that wreath: let it inspire your thoughts and fill you with peace._

_Don't wait for me to eat breakfast. Feel free to roam; if I don't find you in our quarters, I'll meet you in the Garden of Light at lunchtime. Be well, and, once more, happy birthday- Obi._

Tears pressed at Anakin's eyelids. He shoved the letter against his face, squeezing his eyes closed. _You have no idea how much this hurts, _he thought at his master, keeping his shields up. _You can't know. I know I promised to love you in silence, but sometimes, it's just so… _He shook his head. _If you only knew, you wouldn't say things like 'flowers of friendship'. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? No. And you can't. Because I keep things to myself. _He groaned, then, staring at the crinkled letter, folded it carefully and tucked it in among the flowers. _And giving me flowers at all- don't you know the symbolism of _that_? Not just the romantic meaning, but the fact that flowers perish? _He shivered, remembering one of his nightmares. Two tears trickled down his cheeks and he wiped them away angrily. _Damn it, Obi. You've got to stop doing this to me._

He stood and moved to the balcony. Casting the doors open, he strode outside. A biting wind tore at his bare arms and he huddled into his short-sleeved sleep tunic. He glared at the Senate building. _It's not his fault. If he didn't have to be gone so often… _His fingers tightened into claws on the stone railing. _Force, I now know you're all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing. So if you're all that, why do you tell us we're meant to be together, then keep us apart? And if you want us together, open a place in his heart for me, for when it's time for me to tell him how I feel. And, while you're at it, make that soon. It's so hard. Every time he speaks of friendship and respect and trust, I want to scream. Can't you open his heart more quickly?_

A long silence; Anakin thought he wasn't going to get an answer. Then, scarcely heard: _You must open his heart yourself._

The padawan had an urge to curse, but he held his tongue and did his best to take that wisdom to heart. _How?_

This time, there was no answer.

Behind Anakin, the door opened, and he turned, forgetting for a moment all the pain he felt in the rush of happiness that came whenever Obi-Wan appeared. And he was much earlier than his letter had led Anakin to believe. Striding across the room, Anakin pushed the balcony doors closed behind him. Sometimes, it was enough to see Obi-Wan; this morning, he needed to be held and to hold. He opened his arms, hesitating, as he always did at times like this, when he was the one doing the asking.

Obi-Wan nodded and came into Anakin's embrace, wrapping his arms tight around his padawan. "Are you all right?" the master asked his voice muffled against Anakin's chest.

"Yes. I just missed you." He'd taken to not telling about his nightmares; what was the use? The Force had already told him his mother was well, and Obi-Wan didn't need to hear either how Anakin had erotic dreams about him, or about how Anakin dreamed of his master's death at the hands of black-robed figures armed with red lightsabers.

"I missed you, too." Obi-Wan rubbed Anakin's back. "You're shivering. What were you doing out there?"

"Just looking." Anakin closed his eyes and inhaled Obi-Wan's scent. "How did the meeting with Master Yoda go?"

"Well, we may get more than three weeks together."

"Really? He agreed that easily?"

Obi-Wan drew back a little so their eyes met. "Not quite, my young one. We're being sent on a mission to Ansion. Master says the government is masking their call for help as a 'border dispute', but he and the rest of the Council have reason to believe that Count Dooku is trying to rally yet another planet to his cause. Even though the Confederacy of Independent Systems has been losing members, Master Yoda wants us to make sure it doesn't win this victory."

"Why did he ask you to go alone?"

Obi-Wan blushed and pulled back fully from Anakin. "I told a lie, Padawan mine." His hands had disappeared into his pockets. "Master Yoda would have been glad to see you as well, but then how would I have had a chance to run out and get your present?" He produced a small box from the left pocket of his robe.

Anakin's eyes widened, but he was grinning. He held his hand out for the box.

Obi-Wan held it for a moment longer. "Let me caution you, Anakin: possessions are never as valuable as lives. Never let this be a downfall or a concern to you. Treasure it for the spirit in which it is given, not for the thing itself. To do so would be to open yourself to covetousness and the Dark Side." His serious expression eased. "A gift like this is meant as a physical showing of how the giver feels. If this disappeared tomorrow, or was stolen or broke, my feelings would never fade. Do you understand? I give this gift in the hope that it will add joy and strength to you, not to make it a stumbling-block."

"The Jedi don't own objects, and neither do objects own us."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "You remember that so exactly! What wise master taught you that?" He proffered the box.

Anakin took it. His eyes danced. "Now, is false modesty a Jedi-like quality, Master?"

"Doubtful, but neither is lying." He laughed. "And I'm about to demonstrate an even more un-Jedi-like aspect: I'm impatient to see what you think of it."

"Should I ask you to meditate first?"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Only if you meditate with me."

Anakin grimaced. "Half-meditate?"

"Full meditation."

"Never mind." But Anakin was still grinning. He opened the box, tossing the top off to the side. He lifted out the object within, and his eyes widened. A pendant, silver and luminescent grey swirled together so close and so tight it was almost impossible to see where one ended and the other began. Anakin stared at it for a moment, then Obi-Wan reached out and turned the pendant, revealing the inscription on the other side: _The Force is always with you. And so am I._

Anakin was seized by two urges at once: to throw his arms around Obi-Wan, and to bolt. He felt the tears coming and hid them by stooping to pick up the box top. This done, he wasn't sure he could still control himself, but he knew stalling too long would be as bad as showing his feelings. Cupping the pendant in one hand, letting the chain dangle down between his fingers, he said, "I shouldn't wear it. Just knowing it's here at Temple is enough." Sure now that he could control his tears, he hugged Obi-Wan close. "Thank you. It's beautiful." His throat closed, but instead of clearing it, he just fell silent and waited for Obi-Wan to speak. He almost always did.

But for once, Obi-Wan only embraced Anakin.

After a long moment, Anakin drew back. He thought he had control of his voice now. "When do we have to-" his voice cracked like a fifteen-year-old's, and he winced- "leave?"

"An hour." Obi-Wan smiled. "And don't mind your voice, Anakin; it happens to everyone."

"It never happened to you."

"Were you around the day I turned twenty? I wasn't aware."

Anakin's eyebrows climbed. "Twenty? What happened?"

"Why don't you put that away and I'll tell you about it over breakfast."

"Deal." Anakin turned towards his room. But as he started that way, his eyes fell on the wreath. He turned back, thinking to thank Obi-Wan for the flowers, but his master was gazing at a painting Anakin had done years ago: a representation of the three of them on Ragoon 6, drawn completely from memory. It was far from perfect, but it captured them in a happy moment, and all three were recognizable. Even as Anakin watched, Obi-Wan reached up and touched Qui-Gon's painted image.

Closing the door to his room, Anakin sank onto his bed. He clutched the pendant in one hand, then set it, so carefully, aside on his nightstand. He groaned, mindful that the sound wasn't too loud, and made sure his shields were up. _He'll never see me as he saw Qui-Gon. Never. Everything he is is wrapped up in who he was with Qui-Gon. _That wasn't fair, or even partly true, but Anakin wasn't feeling charitable.

Strangely, hurt as he felt, his mind flashed to the lils that had been woven into the wreath. No bigger than a firefly's light, they glowed gold among the pink and red flowers, like tiny rays of hope showing through a vision of blood. Anakin groaned at that idea- the rooshes weren't blood, and neither were the glis-lilia- but it was the first thing that came to his mind.

_And the lils… well, I don't have to tell you about those, do I?_

Anakin smiled in spite of himself. No, Obi-Wan didn't have to tell him. The lils had saved their lives. Trapped underground with no light to guide them, Anakin had discovered that the lils seeds he'd stuck in his pocket earlier, thinking to plant some at Temple, glowed like little bonfires. And they hadn't only glowed; they glowed brighter the further they went into the darkness. By following their dimming shimmer, the two Jedi had found their way out into the open again.

_Yeah, and that's not all they did. Obi was really allergic to them; he had boils on his hands for days. _Anakin stood suddenly, his mouth hanging open. He'd assumed Obi-Wan had woven the wreath. He strode from the room, conscious that he was probably missed, since he'd been told to come to breakfast.

Obi-Wan was working over a deep bowl filled with eggs of the b'ny bird. He glanced up as Anakin came in. "Something wrong?"

"Did you put that wreath together?"

Obi-Wan smiled, but didn't answer.

"When? And what about your hands? You're allergic even through the thickest gloves!" Anakin strode forward and caught Obi-Wan's hands, turning them over.

"Now look what you made me do," Obi-Wan complained good-naturedly as the whisk he'd been using to beat the eggs disappeared into them.

Anakin traced the fading welts. There were only a few left. "You _did_ do the wreath."

"There wasn't time to ask another to do it. I made the wreath during a Senate break three days ago." He smiled. "I've been keeping the flowers alive with a light water mist. I'm surprised they lasted this long. I never had a green thumb."

"You shouldn't have. What if we'd been called away to a mission that night? You wouldn't have even been able to hold your lightsaber."

"True, but aren't you the one who told me we should live for now and not always plan for the future?"

Anakin felt a pang of sorrow. He had said those words, but he'd only been echoing Qui-Gon. He wasn't sure if he should or could admit that to his master.

"I wanted to make you smile when you woke, and I had a feeling I might not have a chance to get the pendant before the morning of your birthday, if that. This was simple, it means something to both of us; what better gift?"

"How about one that doesn't make you itch and burn?" But Anakin couldn't maintain his frustration; the episode was over, and it was something he himself might have done. Shaking his head, trying not to smile, he said, "Just promise me you won't handle lils again unless you have to."

"I had to. But I promise anyway." He looked back at the bowl. "Now, would you mind fishing that whisk out for me? If we don't get going, we're going to be late. And we both still have to pack."

"I'm not sticking my hand in there." Anakin waved his hand over the bowl and the whisk floated up, dripping.

"Anakin…" Obi-Wan began disapprovingly.

"I know. 'The Force isn't to be used for convenience.' But I really couldn't reach in there." He grinned. "Call it an allergy to getting slimy." He nodded at the whisk. "Your tool, Master."

Obi-Wan took the whisk from midair, and though he set at once to stirring, he couldn't quite hide a look of disgust.

Anakin snickered.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Please get the plates."

oOo

Chancellor Palpatine wanted to smile when it was suggested that Senator Amidala needed a Jedi protector. A month ago, he'd sent Kenobi to Ansion to settle a border dispute. He'd sent Dooku there, hoping the man would manage to kill the Jedi Master, but Dooku hadn't tipped his hand, preferring to slip away and keep himself safe from the Republic jails. Now Obi-Wan was back, had been back for a week, in fact, and the Senate's corruption rate was lower than it had been under Volorum. Intolerable.

_I will not have my plans foiled by a well-meaning, abstinent, perfect-as-perfect-can-be, everybody-loves-him Jedi who is barely old enough to be rid of his braid._ So he'd vowed when he paired the upstart with Bralin. So he'd vowed when he sent an assassin to kill the red-headed nuisance. (That plan had been destroyed by the boy, Anakin, who just happened to have his lightsaber and explained later that he'd come from training at the Temple and forgotten to leave it in his quarters.) And so he'd vowed when he sent Kenobi to Ansion. But here he was again. By the Dark Force, what did it take to get rid of the man, or even just stop his meddling in the Senate?

Well, at last Palpatine had been given his answer, in the person of Senator Amidala. She needed protection; that much was obvious. And wouldn't it be better if she was guarded by someone with which she was already familiar?

He spoke, keeping the glee out of his voice. "Might I suggest an old friend? Someone like-" he paused, as if the name had just come to him- "Master Kenobi?"

"That's possible," Mace said. "He's just returned from a mission to Ansion."

'_Just returned' my ass. He's been here too long already. I want him gone. Now._

Senator Amidala looked uncomfortable with the idea.

Palpatine put his charm to work. "Do it for me, my lady," he said sincerely. _Get him out of my hair, if you don't mind. And if I'm lucky, he'll die defending you like your guard did. _Slim chance in that particular wish coming true, but Palpatine didn't care. Obi-Wan wasn't a danger to him as a fighter, only as a negotiator. Get him out of the Senate, and that would be good enough. Eventually, he would have to die, but he could wait to die when all the other Jedi died. No reason to hurry; he was nothing special.

He spoke again, needing to win her over. "The thought of losing you is-" he weighed the word before he said it- "unbearable."

She nodded, resigned.

He could have crowed.

"I will have Obi-Wan report to you immediately, my Lady," Mace told her.

She nodded again, unhappy, but willing, for now, to play along.

_You won't have to abide much longer, my dear. Soon, the Jedi will be nothing but a legend._

oOo

He'd been stewing ever since his birthday, and it wasn't his imagination that things were becoming more strained between them. The fact that Obi-Wan didn't seem conscious of it drove Anakin nuts. And it didn't help that even though they'd been gone from Temple more than they'd been home, Obi-Wan's thoughts seemed to always be on Qui-Gon. How else to explain his long silences, and the grief that shone occasionally in his eyes? He'd even been distracted once or twice, not while others were around, but Anakin had surprised him with questions, drawing him out of an inner world that seemed to hold more interest for his master than the real one.

Even now, as they crossed the air bridge, heading for the senatorial apartments in 500 Republica, Anakin felt that Obi-Wan's mind was far away. Grimacing, he wondered if he could shock Obi-Wan into paying attention.

_Why bother? I know he'll be focused once we arrive. Why take him out of his fantasies? They seem to be all he has left now. He doesn't speak to me, he doesn't smile at me anymore. In the last month, we've drifted so far apart I can't see how the Force still maintains we're meant to be together._

He glanced at Obi-Wan again. _And he still acts as if nothing is wrong. Why doesn't he notice? _But Anakin knew the answer to that, and though it reflected well on him, he hated it. _He thinks of me as 'almost a Knight'. His duty to me is almost done. When I'm not a padawan anymore, he'll probably descend completely into the fantasies. _No. That wasn't true. _Fine, so he'll still be the amazing Jedi he is, but he'll be hollow, unable to feel strongly for anyone but the one he's lost._

He had a terrible urge to put up a shield, to block Obi-Wan out. _I can't do it in the Force, but I could start distancing myself in other ways. I already don't tell him my dreams; what other steps could I take?_

He thought of just telling Obi-Wan to back off, but that wasn't what he wanted. Obi-Wan already kept too much of a distance. _So, what then? What do I want? _He grimaced. _I want him to react. I want him to wake up and realize what's wrong with us. _How could he accomplish that, short of turning back time and bringing Qui-Gon back to life? _I can't screw up as a padawan. That wouldn't change anything. He'd just keep telling me all the things he tells me already, the beliefs he repeats so often that I can hear them in my sleep. I don't want that. Even if it was personal and meant at the time, even heartfelt, he wouldn't feel it now. I need him to feel something._

A breath. _Jealousy? Could I make him jealous by spending more time with another master? Reeft?_

No. That would hurt Reeft. _Besides, he would just use the time when I'm gone to mourn over Qui-Gon. It has to be something I can do right in front of him and make him either frustrated, or even angry._

He wasn't sure yet what he'd try, but he knew he had to try soon. Because under all the anger and frustration was this: worry that Obi-Wan would lose himself to grief, and that, under its sway, he would get himself killed. Anakin couldn't bear that.

They entered the lift on the outside of the Senator's building. She was on the top floor, and all other residents had been cleared out to other apartments. As the lift started upwards, Anakin sensed a change in the Force. He glanced at Obi-Wan again, and saw his master looking right back at him, his eyes sharp.

"You seem a little on edge," the older man said.

_Now you notice? What gave it away? My silence? The fact that I can't bear to look at you because I want so badly to hold you and take that look of distracted grief from you forever?_ He couldn't bear to say any of it, because he knew he would confess everything. So he straightened his robes and said, "Not at all."

"I haven't felt you this tense since… since we fell into that nest of gundarks."

Anakin tried not to smile. They teased each other about who was really responsible for that particular, five-year-gone mess constantly. "You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you, remember?" Obi-Wan had used it as a teaching tool for Anakin at first, but it quickly became a joke one or the other of them would pull out at unexpected moments.

Obi-Wan replied, sounding completely discomfited and embarrassed. "Oh. Yes." Then he chuckled, a healthy, rich sound that Anakin missed.

The padawan wanted to keep a straight face, but remembering how the female gundark had flirted with first Obi-Wan, then him… He snickered. Then he glanced at Obi-Wan again, and sweat broke out on his brow. _We could have both died that day. But at least if that had happened, he wouldn't be suffering. Force, any Dark creature could show up, and he might not see it because he's hurt so badly._

Obi-Wan's amusement vanished. "You're sweating. Relax. Take a deep breath."

_You can't talk. You miss him so much it's getting hard for you to wake up each morning. Don't you think I can feel what you dream? _Again, he couldn't say that. Casting about for any excuse, he hit upon one. They were going to see someone he knew; let Obi-Wan think he was nervous about that. "I haven't seen her in ten years, Master." _Do you even notice that I barely call you Obi anymore?_

To his lie, Obi-Wan had no comment.

oOo

_Move on._ It clanged like a bell in his head. Each time he went to sleep, it repeated. Qui-Gon's voice, but surely not the words his lover would have said. He would sleep a while, maybe start to have a good dream about Qui-Gon, then his lover would draw back, and say it: _Move on. _He never spoke any other words, not even in the good dreams.

He'd put up walls around this recurring annoyance (too disturbing to be called a dream, and he refused to call it a nightmare) so that if Anakin happened to feel anything in the night, he would sense Obi-Wan was dreaming good things about Qui-Gon and leave him alone. Surely, once or twice 'walking in on' a dream of the two having sex would be enough to dissuade his padawan. The master felt a little guilty for keeping his visions secret, but hadn't Anakin helped enough? The grief stone helped, too, and, besides, Qui-Gon had been dead for almost three months; wasn't it time he should move on, like the voice of Qui-Gon told him? Except that Obi-Wan knew _move on_ didn't mean _heal already. _It meant something he wasn't prepared to face. Sometimes he thought it meant _leave the Jedi _or even, Force forbid, _join the Separatists. Qui-Gon might have. _But mostly, he didn't try to scrutinize it too closely. What was the point? It was only a frustrating, repeating squawk, with no basis in reality.

He came back to himself as the doors to the lift opened. Anakin's words about Senator Amidala hadn't sunk in, though he'd dimly registered them and hoped his padawan didn't do anything foolish.

They were greeted by Jar Jar (there was a terrifying moment when Obi-Wan thought the Gungan was actually going to hug and kiss him) and then Senator Amidala was there. Obi-Wan gave her a deep bow. He had always respected her, though his recent history with the Senate made him wary. He didn't believe in her essential goodness the same way he had as a younger man. He saw her now as a human being with many good intentions and much courage, but as far from perfect. _No. Only Qui-Gon was- _He stopped. That wasn't true; Qui-Gon had made mistakes, too, plenty of them. Besides, indulging in thoughts like that would only lead to more grief. _And that way also lies madness. Force, be with me._

When he and Anakin were seated across from the senator, Obi-Wan took a moment to note all the security measures. If anyone was going to get in here, they would have to be quite skilled. Not that he put it past whoever was trying to kill her. _I almost wish we could find out who has put the death-mark on her. _Then again, protecting her would keep him near Temple, and daily he felt a greater draw to retreat there.

The voice of her chief of security intruded on his thoughts. "I am grateful you're here, Master Kenobi. The situation is more dangerous than the Senator will admit."

Looking at her, Obi-Wan thought, _Qui-Gon always respected you for your courage and commitment. _Then, _I need to stop thinking like this. _He sank into a moment's half-meditation, coming up in time to hear the end of Senator Amidala's reply:

"-need answers. I want to know who's trying to kill me."

_And that, we can't answer, at least not until they show up here. _"We are here to protect you, Senator, not to start an investigation."

Then Anakin spoke, and it was all Obi-Wan could do to keep his jaw from dropping. Where had this come from? Anakin had contradicted him before, but never in public.

"We will find out who's trying to kill you, Padme. I promise you."

And to use her first name, as though they were old friends? True, she had used his, but…

_Move on._

Obi-Wan didn't scowl, but it was a near thing. _Shut up, _he told the voice. Then, losing the discretion for which he was so well known, he said, "We will not exceed our mandate, my young Padawan Learner." He sensed Anakin's shock, and saw hurt in the younger Jedi's face. Never had Obi-Wan used that particular phrase, padawan learner. It reeked of the separation between them.

"I meant in the interest of protecting her, Master, of course."

Anakin's words rang hollow between them. Obi-Wan kept going, unknowingly channeling his frustration with the repetitive squawk into his words. "We will not go through this now, Anakin. And you will pay attention to my lead."

He sensed a surge in Anakin's emotions, raw anger, quickly muffled. "Why?"

"What?" Obi-Wan demanded. And, to himself, _What's happened to him?_

"Why else do you think we were assigned to her if not to find the killer? Protection is a job for local security, not Jedi. It's overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate."

_Move on._

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. _Leave me in peace. I miss you. What more do you want of me? _Then, angry, and a little scared for the first time in many years, he thought, _Am I going insane already? Force help me. _Another moment-long half-meditation, then he said, "We will do exactly as the Council has instructed." Again, half-meditation, because the voice was getting ready to come back. "And you will learn your place, young one." He turned his eyes from Anakin, and only then was he conscious that their entire argument had been observed. He cursed silently.

Senator Amidala, ever the diplomat, said, "Perhaps with merely your presence, the mystery surrounding this threat will be revealed." She rose, and the others stood with her. "Now if you will excuse me, I will retire."

Obi-Wan thought, _Thank the Force for small favors._

Soon, she was gone, and Captain Typho had gone as well. Jar Jar stood near Anakin, and Obi-Wan, trying to be attentive to Anakin's feelings, heard the Gungan say, "Missa bustin' with happiness seein' yous again, Annie."

Anakin said, his voice tight, "She hardly recognized me, Jar Jar. I've thought about her every day since we parted, and she's forgotten me completely."

_You never spoke her name, not once, and before you became talented with shields, I think I would have picked up on your desire to see her. _Obi-Wan watched the captain leave by the lift, and he did his best to release his confusion and frustration into the Force. _Why are you lying, Anakin?_

"She'sa happy," Jar Jar insisted. "Happier than missa seen her in a long-o time."

Obi-Wan approached them, and, unable to think of how to voice his concerns, said what he thought a Jedi master should tell his padawan: "You're focusing on the negative, Anakin. Be mindful of your thoughts." He paused, seeing a need he didn't understand in Anakin's eyes. Taking a guess, something he hadn't had to do with Anakin since they first met, he said, "She was pleased to see us." The look didn't leave Anakin's eyes, but Obi-Wan, feeling a deep and pressing need to get Jar Jar to leave them alone so he could speak to Anakin in private, and also so he could reach out to the Force and calm himself (not necessarily in that order) he said, "Now, let's check the security."

Jar Jar left them almost at once, and after they had checked the cameras and the windows, Obi-Wan said, "That was uncalled for."

Anakin glared at him. "What was?"

_Force, what's happening to him? _"My reaction." He retreated to the window and sat before it, facing the outside world. He closed his eyes. "I'll meditate, then I'll finish my apology." He tried to shut the world out.

Anakin took a step closer. "I didn't mean to challenge you. I was just worried about her."

"I know." Obi-Wan held up a hand. "Please, Anakin, I rarely ask for a moment. Give it to me just this once." He took himself away without waiting for a reply.

oOo

Anakin watched Obi-Wan for several minutes, resisting the urge to walk over, shake the older man, and demand that they talk _now. _He was even planning what he would say: _I know Qui-Gon's gone, and I know you miss him, and I know you think I'm old enough to be on my own, and that I don't need you as much as I once did. I know all that. But I also know I can't stand to watch you destroy yourself this way. And you're not just destroying yourself; you're leaving me without a guide, without a friend. _And_ you're putting the mission at risk, putting a senator, a _living being_, in danger. It's time for you to let go of your pain. And if you can't do that because you think there will never be anything in this universe for you but pain, listen to this: I love you. I want to take care of you. I want to take that pained look off your face, and I want to heal you. Let me heal you, damn it! If you're waiting for the Force to do it, or for you to have enough energy to do it yourself, stop waiting and wake up! The Force sent me to help you heal! So instead of pulling away, let me do what I'm supposed to, what I want and need to do._

Yes. If he was going to say anything, it had to be that, all of that. Why was he still standing here? He groaned. _Because he asked me to let him alone for a while. He asked me directly, which he's never done. I think that's the closest he'll ever come to begging. I can't just interrupt him. He'd hate me for not obeying one desperate wish._

On the other hand, what would it matter if Obi-Wan hated him if his master went crazy from grief or got himself killed due to carelessness? Anakin took a step.

"Am I disturbing you?"

He turned, and saw her standing by the wall, her hair unbound, her eyes intense. Just as he'd done when he was younger, he wondered if this was what space angels looked like. But now he looked at her not with a spellbound heart, but with a needy one. He wanted her to tell him all the secrets of the universe, and she could start by telling him how to help his Obi-Wan. He ducked his head in a half-bow. "No, my lady. Is there something you needed?"

She looked over at Obi-Wan, raised an eyebrow. "Are we disturbing him?"

Anakin crossed to stand by her. He lowered his voice. "I doubt it. He's so deep in meditation all he can hear is the Force."

She was silent for a moment, then she said, "You've both changed. He didn't strike me back on Naboo as the domineering type." She put a hand to her mouth. "I didn't mean that as harshly as it sounded."

"He isn't usually like this." Anakin's eyes were on his master. He could count the number of times Obi-Wan had snapped at him on one hand. And he'd only need three fingers. "He's only been like this twice before. I'm sorry if our argument surprised or offended you. Neither of us meant what we said."

She nodded, accepting. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He thought, _Now I know you're a space angel. _He said, "We're going to talk when he's finished meditating." He pulled his eyes from Obi-Wan and met her gaze. "Don't worry; we'll protect you. Everything will be all right. When you're attacked again, we'll be there to catch the attacker, and then we'll learn who's targeting you."

She, too, looked at Obi-Wan, then away. "I heard about Master Qui-Gon. I'm sorry."

Anakin swallowed. He hadn't expected to feel any sorrow now. Hadn't Obi-Wan been bearing enough for both of them? "We all miss him." He was glad Obi-Wan was meditating. He didn't need to hear her condolences. And even though Jedi were supposed to handle things like death, Anakin knew he couldn't just trust Obi-Wan to handle anything she might say. "Please don't say anything about him to Master Obi-Wan."

"I won't." She folded her hands before her, and they stood together like that for a time. When she roused herself, it was to ask if he'd like a sure way to catch the attackers.

He blinked at her, mostly still lost in his worries. He set everything aside- _something Obi taught me a thousand times over, something he used to be able to do any time, anywhere- _and focused on her. "How?"

"I'll cover the cameras in my room. You can still sense danger, sense me, right?"

He nodded. "You want to be used as bait?"

"I already have a price on my head. Let's see if we can make them pay for more than they bargained for."

It could work, and she was right: if the cameras were covered, there was more of a chance that her attackers would show themselves. He decided, on the spur of the moment, not to discuss it with Obi-Wan. "I think it's a good idea. We won't let any harm come to you."

"I know you won't." She started to turn away, then glanced back at him. "Whatever's wrong, I'm sure it will come right. The Force never abandons a Jedi."

He stared at her retreating back, stunned. How did she know so much? How did she trust so completely? And how had she known the words he'd needed to hear? "More of a space angel than ever," he muttered.

She looked back at him again. "What?"

"Good night. Pleasant dreams."

She smiled. "Good night. Good luck." The door closed behind her.

Anakin returned to watching Obi-Wan, but now he sat down and half-meditated, seeking calm. Obi-Wan wouldn't stay in meditation long; soon, they would have to talk. And conversing with Padme had straightened something out for Anakin. He couldn't say a whit of what he'd planned to tell the older man. Not only would it distract from their mission, which he almost didn't give a rat's ass about just then, except for Padme, but she'd spoken right to his heart. The Force never abandons a Jedi. Hadn't he been learning nothing but that ever since Obi-Wan returned? And, his grief excluded, hadn't Obi-Wan always been proof of that?

He needed to let the Force, which insisted they belonged together, do its job. Without interference from him. He called on the Force, asking for it to show him the right time to help Obi-Wan. And while he was at it, he asked the Force to protect Padme and to straighten him, Anakin, out. He hadn't meant to snap back at Obi-Wan, and the excuse that he was younger, and Obi-Wan should know better, had worn out before Anakin even knew Obi-Wan. He'd learned at a very young age that everyone was responsible for his or her own actions. Even though he hadn't always acted right, he'd always known that.

oOo

Obi-Wan came back to the physical world shortly before sunset. When he saw how late it was, he sighed and stood. Now was the time to confront his feelings and apologize to Anakin. He wished he hadn't meditated so long; it must appear as though he didn't care about the mission. Giving up worrying about appearances, something he could do nothing about now, he turned from the window. Anakin sat across the room. He sat very still. Even as Obi-Wan watched, his padawan blinked, then focused on him.

"Were you meditating as well?" Obi-Wan asked, approaching slowly. He sensed how much Anakin had relaxed, and was grateful for that.

Anakin nodded, rose, came to stand before him.

"I'm sorry," the older man said. "I snapped at you, and everything I said was uncalled for. I'm sorry I embarrassed you, but, more, I'm sorry for heaping my troubles on you. I didn't mean to lose control like that."

"Why did you?" Anakin blushed, looked away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I was worried." He looked back at Obi-Wan. "It's been a long time since we haven't been able to read each other and make things work out just by talking."

"We can still work things out. There are bound to be mistakes made, even among friends. Especially among friends, because we spend so much time together."

Anakin looked away again.

More himself now, though those words- _Move on_- still flitted through his mind again and again, Obi-Wan reached out, both with the Force and with one hand. He touched Anakin's arm. "What is it?"

The padawan swallowed. "I can't tell you. Please don't ask."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. He remembered saying something similar to Qui-Gon eight years ago, and his stomach froze. "Are you in trouble, Anakin? Do you need my help?"

"No."

"Please look at me."

Anakin groaned, but lifted his eyes. "I've been trying to reach you for the last month, but you've been sinking further and further into your dreams of Qui-Gon. There are times when you can't feel what I feel, and there are times you don't respond when I need you. I know it's my job to speak up, but even when I do, sometimes you don't hear." He pulled away and covered his face with his hands. "I know it's unfair for me to expect so much from you when you miss him so badly and I'm so close to becoming a Knight, but I can't help it. I need you. And when you bury yourself and I can't follow, I feel lost." He gulped, breathed, lowered his hands. He was crying. "How long has it been since I've called you Obi? Do you know?"

For a moment, Obi-Wan didn't, and the surprise of that jarred his thinking. He stared at Anakin, and saw the month behind them as it had really been. Had he truly been so distracted by the repeating voice?

_Move on._

_Shut up! _Obi-Wan whirled away from Anakin. He went to the window and put his hands against it, then his forehead. He breathed, trying for some semblance of calm that refused to come. But conscious now of Anakin's pain, he couldn't just keep silent. "Not since I started working with the Senate." His voice broke. "And that's not an excuse, just a landmark. I've been drawing back from you little by little."

_Move on._

He felt the gentle pressure on his shields and, helpless to do otherwise, dropped them.

_Who keeps saying that? It's not Qui-Gon's voice. _Anakin moved closer, laying a hand on Obi-Wan's back.

_It's his voice, but just a creation my mind made up. He can't speak to me from beyond the grave, and he wouldn't say that if he could. 'Move on' doesn't mean get over my grief. It means something else, something sinister, something I have to do that I don't understand- _His words ceased, and he wept silently.

Anakin wrapped his arms tight around Obi-Wan from behind and wrapped the older man in a tight mental embrace. He whispered, "How long has this been going on?"

_Weeks. The same words, every night, no matter what dream I'm having. The same words, and nothing more. Nothing. _He reached up, touching Anakin's arm. _If only it could be different words sometimes, in his voice. Then maybe I could bear this._

_You said they're your words, something your mind created. So, deep down, you must know what they mean. _He bent his head and laid a kiss, barely felt, on the back of Obi-Wan's neck. _Don't try to answer it now; take comfort in that truth. You know what the voice means. _He wrapped a blanket of Light Force around them both, calling calming waves to move inward to soothe, tend, and heal.

_I'm sorry I built shields around the dreams, Padawan mine. I've already asked so much of you… And I didn't want you kept awake by the ceaseless words._

_You created the sex scenes as a screen?_

_Yes. I thought they would embarrass you enough, or gross you out enough, to keep you away._ A soft sob, almost a sigh. _Anakin, I'm sorry. Forgive me my arrogance and my desire to heal myself by myself. We can't do it now, but when this mission is done, I will confide in you again. _A pause. _There's something you need to know. Nothing to do with those words. _He faltered.

_Obi, you can share anything with me._

_The Force says we're meant to be together, right?_

_Yes._

_For now. A time is coming soon when we'll be separated. I don't know if that means forever, a month, or even just a day. But I need you to know it's coming. I've known since your birthday, but I've been hesitant to tell you. Mostly because I didn't want to think about it myself, and partly because I didn't think I could feel any more pain._

A shudder ran through Anakin, psychic as much as physical. _Then we might not have time after the mission. Can you give me any of it now? You've already told me about the voice. Wait. Can I help block the voice?_

_I've tried._

_I know, but do you remember how Master Yoda created a small shielded area in my mind to keep the Dark Force from getting in?_

_Yes. You still have that shield, I believe._

Anakin nodded. _Yeah. And you've taught me that some shields can be created by the person's own mind, and others have to be created by others. All can be destroyed by the mind they're in, but sometimes you need help to build them. I could build you a shield. Then, after the mission, if we're given time, or even before, if the Force permits, we can talk about everything, work through everything._

Obi-Wan leaned back against Anakin. _I'd like that._

_We can do it. The Force will help. _Another soft kiss. _Everything's going to be all right. Relax. I'm going to erect the shield._

Obi-Wan did his best to relax. To build a shield between someone's mind and an outside force, especially the Dark Force, was a skill only masters could manage, and only a few masters at that. But to put a small shield around a single thought shouldn't be too hard. Obi-Wan knew that one reason he hadn't been able to manage it on his own was because every time he drew near the thought, it got so loud and insistent that he lost his ability to concentrate. And, that excuse aside, he secretly wanted to know what the words meant, even if they were a danger to him. Setting them aside time and again wasn't going to solve anything. _But just now, _he thought,_ I need to be able to focus on this mission and nothing else. The words can wait. _He cautioned Anakin: _Make sure you find the right thought and the right-_

_MOVE ON._

_Obi? I think it found me. _Anakin reached, laying a mental hand against the repeating thought. He pushed at it, and when it didn't yield, he measured it with a psychic touch. _It's huge!_

A half-choked sob. _I know._

Anakin circled the thought, seeing that it was attached to no others. That would make things simpler. He began to construct the shield, block by block.

_MOVE ON!_

Obi-Wan flinched, started to pull away from Anakin both physically and mentally.

_Hold on, Obi. I'm almost there._

_Anakin, I can't. We need to- The Senator-_

_Move on._

Anakin willed the shield to be strong. Obi-Wan felt his padawan's determination.

_Move… on… move…_

The last block fell into place. The voice was completely muffled.

_Padawan mine… Padawan mine… Thank you. _Obi-Wan stood firm, and the peace that came at once to his mind was astonishing, even to him. _Thank you. _He turned in the circle of Anakin's arms and hugged the younger Jedi, laying his head against Anakin's shoulder for a moment before drawing back. With one sleeve, he brushed the tears from his cheeks. He smiled. "Thank you."

"It's okay, Obi." Anakin was grinning like a fool, his relief obvious. "It's okay."

They stood that way for a moment, barely seeing anything but each other, feeling the happy hum of the Force on all sides. Then Obi-Wan stepped back, cleared his throat. "We should check the security cameras."

Anakin nodded, but caught Obi-Wan's sleeve. "Will you promise me something, Obi?" His grin widened. "I'll be saying 'Obi' for a while, okay? I need to make up for a lost month. It shouldn't take too long. Obi. Will you promise me something?"

"Depends on what it is. I can't promise to change my nature, and my nature is to try and fight things alone. I continue fighting against it, but-"

Anakin raised a finger. For a moment, it looked for all the world like he was going to place it against Obi-Wan's lips. Then he dropped his hand to his master's shoulder. "Promise me, when and if we're separated, you'll try to get back to me. I'll do the same."

"That I can promise with a clear conscience."

"Good, Obi. Now, Obi, shall we check the security?"

"How long are you going to keep that up, Padawan mine?"

"As long as I feel like? Is that a good answer? Obi."

"At least it's a truthful one. Come on."

oOo

Now that Obi-Wan was less distracted, he'd picked up on a few things Anakin had thought to keep hidden. Anakin didn't begrudge it; compared to the lack of response he'd gotten before, this was beautiful.

The master had just returned from a quick turn around the security of the lower floors. With his usual discretion, he opened up the way for talk before starting in on what he saw in Anakin.

Anakin knew Obi-Wan's techniques, but he allowed himself to be drawn out. With Obi-Wan stronger, the padawan felt the pull of the nightmares that had been hounding him, the ones he's be facing on his own for the last month.

Obi-Wan said, "Captain Typho and his men are downstairs. No assassin would try that way. Any activity up here?"

Thinking of his mother's suffering, and of the nightmares he'd had of Obi-Wan's death, Anakin answered, "Quiet as a tomb." The instant the words were out of his mouth, he longed to call them back. He darted a glance at Obi-Wan, saw the pain he'd caused, then saw Obi-Wan dismiss it. "I'm sorry," he said.

Obi-Wan nodded, even managed a small smile. He took off his outer robe and tossed it on a chair. His eyes were on Anakin, and they glittered in the dimness like the eyes of some intelligent bird of prey. He'd seen the cameras.

"I don't like just waiting around here for something to happen to her." Now would be the time to confess the plan he and the senator had agreed to.

"What's going on?"

"She covered the cameras. I don't think she liked me watching her." That might have also been true, based on her comment about Anakin always being 'that little boy on Tatooine', and Anakin knew he was stalling. But it wasn't because he didn't want to confess his part in the dangerous plan. He longed to put off what Obi-Wan was going to say about other matters.

Obi-Wan started for the cameras, his eyes narrowed. "What is she thinking?"

Anakin read the incredulity Obi-Wan's tone: _Does she want to be killed?_

"She programmed R-2 to warn us if there's an intruder," he said.

"There are many other ways to kill a senator."

"I know, but we also want to catch this assassin, don't we, Master?" He didn't say 'Obi'; the certainty of Obi-Wan's impending questions ruined any playfulness he'd felt. Even though he knew he'd be relieved when he at last confessed the dreams, he also knew that he couldn't explain why they bothered him so much. _Then again, since Obi's had repeating dreams of his own, maybe he'll understand._

"You're using her as bait."

"It was her idea. Don't worry; no harm will come to her. I can sense everything going on in that room." _Stall, stall, stall. _This show of false arrogance might distract Obi-Wan for another few seconds

"It's too risky. Besides, your senses aren't that well-attuned, my young-" Obi-Wan stopped, muttered, "Force, I'm doing it again," then looked at Anakin. "I'm sorry."

Anakin tried to make a joke of it. "And yours are?" He tried to smile.

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, then said, "Possibly. Though I didn't say it- you did." He stepped away from Anakin, moving to the chairs. He didn't sit. Arms folded, he turned to face his padawan. He looked mildly amused, but concern boiled underneath. "You look tired. How long have you looked like this?"

Anakin shrugged. Honestly, he didn't know. "I don't sleep well anymore."

"I know what that's like." Obi-Wan took a step nearer. "Are you having bad dreams, Padawan mine?"

Anakin nodded. On his birthday, a month past, he'd resolved not to tell Obi-Wan about the continuing dreams, but now, having Obi-Wan 'gone' for all intents and purposes for the last four weeks, he felt a desperate need to confess, if not all of his dreams, but at least those about his mother. He longed for Obi-Wan to say what Anakin already knew: that, according to the Force, his mother was safe. He muttered, "I'm still dreaming about my mother." And even though he refrained from telling about the other nightmares, he willed Obi-Wan to pick up the rest, to ask if he had dreamed about him, too. For the moment, Obi-Wan only watched him. Anakin bit his lip. "I don't know why I keep dreaming about her."

Obi-Wan moved closer, his eyes kind, understanding. "Dreams pass in time. Like the voice I keep hearing, they will pass. When we talk about my little issue, we can talk about your dreams, too. Has the answer from the Force changed?"

Anakin shook his head. "That should be enough; I should stop dreaming about her. But it's not. I see her suffering, dying, not every night, like that voice comes to you, but two or three times a week."

"Did you dream of her last night?"

"No."

"And you still didn't sleep." Obi-Wan stopped within touching distance. A slight frown pulled at his lips. "What did you dream about?"

Anakin looked away. The urge to tell much more than Obi-Wan was asking drove him to turn his back as well, and he gazed out at the Coruscant cityscape at night. It was so beautiful. He wished he could enjoy it.

"My death?"

Anakin groaned softly. "I'd much rather dream about-" _you and me- I can't say that! And I do dream about you- _"Padme. Just being around her is-" _comforting. She helps me see things, helps me know that I'm not alone when I want to take care of you- _"intoxicating." _Force! Where did that word come from? _He turned to measure Obi-Wan's response, and prayed only that his master wouldn't chasten him too sternly. _Still, at least we're off talking about the dreams._

Obi-Wan's frown was thunderous. "Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin. You've made a commitment to the Jedi Order, one that is not easily broken."

Why not, Anakin thought, take this distraction and run with it? He grinned inside himself. "If the Jedi are now allowed to love one another, what's to say we couldn't fall in love with those outside the Order?"

"You barely know her."

"It doesn't have to be Padme. What if I fell for someone else?"

"I don't know if the Council's decision extends to those outside the Jedi. I think, before you start thinking about that, you should fall in love first. Wait for that to happen before you start asking questions you might not need the answers to." Obi-Wan paused, then said, "And about Senator Amidala- she's a politician, and they're not to be trusted."

Anakin knew this remark came from the months Obi-Wan had spent saving the Senate from itself, but he felt, since she had helped him, that he should defend her. "She's not like the others."

"It is my experience that Senators only focus on pleasing those who fund their campaigns."

His frustration was obvious, at least to Anakin, though most wouldn't have noticed it. Anakin could see the proof in the way Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"And they're by no means scared to forget the niceties of democracy in order to get what they want."

Anakin groaned. He couldn't help it. "Not another lecture. At least not on the economics and politics of the Republic." These had characterized their last month together.

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "Do I lecture?"

"Only when-" _you're in pain and try too hard to do what other masters might do because you're too distracted. _He stopped. "Only in the last month."

"Ah. More of that." Obi-Wan sighed. "Have I been all that tiresome? Why didn't you warn me?"

"You were in pain." That much he could say. "I was worried about you."

Obi-Wan reached out, and rested a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Anakin, you don't need to always take care of me. That's a job best left to the Force. Besides, who's been taking care of you?"

"The Force." Anakin knew the truth of that when it was out, and he added, "I've been angry sometimes, and the Force has helped me release it. And I've been scared, and the Force has helped me there, too. But that doesn't mean I want to keep going it without you."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"Obi, stop apologizing!" Anakin threw up his hands, then pulled back into himself. He sighed, releasing his frustration. "We need to talk, really talk, but this isn't the time." Thinking of the rule Yoda had changed, he thought, _Maybe it wasn't good to let the Jedi love. _He suffered an instant of panic- if the Jedi couldn't love, then he wouldn't be able to confess his feelings to Obi-Wan- but he squashed it. _Better that, maybe, than being in so much pain._

_Maybe._

Obi-Wan said, "Yes. You're right. It's time I-"

The Force rippled around them; danger was coming. No; danger was here. Right in the building with them. Right in the room next door. Anakin glanced at his master.

"I feel it, too."

They ran into Padme's room.

Separated Again

They met in front of the club. Anakin's hands were still shaking, and he longed to say something, anything, to make Obi-Wan understand how scared he'd been when his master jumped though the window and grabbed the probe. If the probe had moved, or been programmed to explode on contact with human skin… As it was, Anakin couldn't think of a way to say any of what he felt. He wanted to charge in after the assassin who'd had the guts to shoot at his master. He wanted to kill her.

Some of the anxiety he'd felt had come out in light banter, as he teased Obi-Wan about his fear of flying. And Obi-Wan's own concerns had come out when he called Anakin 'my very young apprentice'. Anakin had taken no offense; he sensed, in that free and open way he had come to know Obi-Wan, that his master had been making fun of his own slip earlier that evening.

Still, when Obi-Wan ran up, Anakin thought most of the humor was gone from his master's face, and the padawan knew why: he'd dropped his lightsaber. Trying to avoid Obi-Wan's coming lecture, though short it might be (and knowing that he'd earned a lecture; losing a lightsaber was always wrong) Anakin stalled. "She went into the club.

"Patience," Obi-Wan said. "Use the Force. Think."

"Sorry, Master." Already apologizing for what he knew was really on Obi-Wan's mind, he tried to show that he felt guilty, but he was also attempting to dodge around Obi-Wan. The lecture could come later if he could just get Obi-Wan to think about the person they were trying to catch.

"She went in there to hide, not to run."

"Yes, Master." Anakin didn't dodge now; he saw the weapon in Obi-Wan's hand. He groaned silently.

"Next time, try not to lose it."

Here came the lecture. Anakin braced himself. "Yes, Master."

"This weapon is your life."

"I try, Master." He thought about giving Obi-Wan the puppy dog eyes, but there were too many people around. He didn't feel like losing face in front of them. At least the lecture had been short, and Obi-Wan had spoken in a near-whisper. He must have been thinking of how he'd spoken to Anakin only three hours ago. Anakin vowed he wouldn't lose his weapon again.

They started into the club. Obi-Wan gestured for Anakin to fall into step beside him, a show of his forgiveness, surely, and also his acknowledgement that they had other things to worry about. Still, he said, "Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?"

He meant it flippantly; Anakin sensed that. And Obi-Wan had no way of knowing how bad Anakin's dreams about his death had gotten; Anakin only had himself to blame for not confessing that. But when Anakin tried to respond in kind, this is what came out: "Don't say that, Master." _I love you._ He swallowed, prayed the words had stayed in his own head. As cover, he said, "You're the closest thing I have to a father."

Obi-Wan cast a look at him askance. "Then why don't you listen to me?" But he was smiling, and he sent, _All's well. I'm just not used to watching you jump out of speeders yet. Someday, it will become commonplace. _He laughed silently. _Once you stop doing it, of course._

Anakin grinned, and let the dreams and his own fear for Obi-Wan go.

oOo

Obi-Wan took in the club, noting the patrons and the loud vidscreens. He hadn't gotten a good look at the assassin; Anakin had. "Can you see him?"

"I think he is a she, and I think she is a changeling."

_Now the fun begins._ Obi-Wan could remember his own first dealings with a changeling, the same one that had attacked Didi Oddo while Obi-Wan was still Qui-Gon's apprentice. _I think it's time Anakin met one. _He met Anakin's gaze and put all the weight of seriousness into this voice. "In that case, be extra careful." Even though he felt sure Anakin could handle her, he didn't want Anakin to be too confident. He started forward, away from Anakin. "Go and find her."

Anakin took a step. "Where are you going, Master?" Teasing, Obi-Wan sensed, but also confused.

"For a drink." He glanced back at Anakin and sent, _Because this is your first assignment alone._

Anakin's eyes widened, and though he didn't grin, the Force was alive with his gratitude. He turned and headed into the crowd.

Keeping his own eyes open, Obi-Wan headed to the bar. He sidled up to it and ordered a shot of a blue liquid. It had been the drink he and Anakin partook of on Ansion, and though it could be very intoxicating, its effects could also immediately be dismissed by reaching out to the Force. Taking the drink, he said, "Thank you," and looked uninterested as he searched the immediate area for the assassin (he was looking for anyone who moved with caution) and kept tabs on his padawan.

A drug seller approached him, holding up a long, skinny, white tube. Obi-Wan recognized it and decided to have some fun, and maybe change the drug seller's life, if the man's mind was weak enough.

"You wanna buy some death sticks?" the man asked, being either completely ignorant of what Jedi robes looked like, or not caring.

Obi-Wan moved his hand discretely. "You don't want to sell me death sticks."

"I don't wanna sell you death sticks."

So, the man was highly suggestible. Obi-Wan pressed his luck. Seeing the man lifting a drink to his lips, the Jedi master added, "You want to go and rethink your life." Vague, yes, but it might at least get the drug seller off the streets for a night. And, who knew? Maybe this one encounter would actually change the man's life.

His good deed done, Obi-Wan sipped his drink and turned all his senses to the Force. She wasn't standing far away. He felt her eyes on Anakin and hoped his padawan felt them too. Out of respect for Anakin's need to learn and grow, Obi-Wan didn't warn his padawan, but kept a careful Force-watch on the assassin.

She started following Anakin as he moved further from the bar, but she only took a step or two, and it was in Obi-Wan's direction. Yes, she was completely focused on Anakin now, not even considering that the Jedi she'd already shot at might still be following her. _She must assume I'm dead. _Obi-Wan downed the rest of his drink. Now he could see her out of the corner of his eye. She had her hand on a blaster. She was raising it.

And still Anakin didn't sense her. Obi-Wan wondered why, since Anakin was usually so in tune with such things. The Force answered: Anakin had been afraid for his master, and the remnants of that, though his padawan had tried to release them, still held sway.

_You'll learn from this then, _Obi-Wan thought. He planned not to say anything to Anakin once the assassin had been caught; the younger man was intelligent and quick. He would figure out what he'd done wrong, and work at never doing it again.

Still, that left Obi-Wan to catch her. He waited, gauging the distance and the time it would take for her to get a shot off. As the Force crested around him, telling him all that was going to happen before it did, he slid his lightsaber out of his belt and called the beam to life. Without hesitation, or even really looking, he struck the blaster from her hand, burning her, but not depriving her of any fingers. He tucked his lightsaber away and got her to her feet.

Anakin joined them, looking composed. But he sent, _Thank you._ And he didn't ask why he hadn't sensed her; he knew. Obi-Wan felt this new knowledge in his padawan. The lesson had been learned.

They got her outside. "Do you know who you were trying to kill?" Obi-Wan asked.

She groaned, but didn't hesitate. The information he was asking for wasn't something she would be guarding well. "A senator from Naboo."

_All right. And now that we've opened the way for talk: _"And who hired you?"

"Just a job."

Anakin leaned towards her. "Who hired you? Tell us. Tell us now."

_Anakin, _Obi-Wan sent, and his padawan's anger faded at once. _She was only trying to defend herself from you. Think of it that way._

_Okay._ Anakin relaxed.

Still, his earlier anger had worked on her. "It was a bounty hunter called-"

Obi-Wan sensed something coming, but knew also that it wasn't aimed at either himself or Anakin. There was nothing he could do to stop it. Something small slashed her cheek, and at once, she began to shrink inwards, like a rotting 'pul's skin tightens as it decomposes. Obi-Wan glanced up, saw someone- the bounty hunter, no doubt- take off. He turned back and saw the shock in Anakin's eyes. His padawan had seen death before, but never quite like this. Obi-Wan sent, _It was quick. She didn't suffer._

_He just… killed her._

_To protect himself. Yes. _Obi-Wan asked the Force to take her into Itself, then he let go of the remorse he felt whenever someone died. _Work so that seeing death never gets easier._

Anakin nodded.

Obi-Wan took the small wedge of metal and plastic from the assassin's cheek. He sensed Anakin staring at him. "Toxic dart," he said. Then, "Let's get her out of here. The authorities will see she is buried." He rose, laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Feel the pain, feel the shock. It will become part of your long history as a Jedi. We grow and learn, and even when it hurts, we remember those who shouldn't have died. Our comfort is in this: we did the best we could."

Anakin nodded, a little comforted. He picked up the assassin, and they started towards the speeder that hadn't been crashed.

oOo

Strictly speaking, they shouldn't have retired to their quarters. Anakin should have been on his way to the Senate, and Obi-Wan should have been headed to the Analysis Room with the poisoned dart he'd taken from the neck of the assassin. But here they were, the door closed between them and the world, and neither of them could feel the safety being in their quarters usually gave them. Anakin knew Obi-Wan felt as he did, though his master hid it better. With the voice gone, Obi-Wan was once again free to be himself. And that meant Anakin was freer to let his anxiety show than he'd been in the last month. He took advantage of this by pacing.

He wandered back and forth across the common room, his thought in not as much upheaval as they would have been if he hadn't felt Obi-Wan's reassuring presence. Still, his mind was divided into two areas of worry and he didn't know which to give attention to first.

_I'll pick one, _Obi-Wan sent. _Let's start by talking about your assignment to protect Senator Amidala. You are ready for this- I have faith in you- but you also must know that whoever the bounty hunter is, he might find you. True; that's why you're going with her. But it's a fact you must keep at the forefront of your mind at all times. Small things can give the bounty hunter away; you must be attentive to the world around you at all times. The worst part about this kind of mission is that there are no pauses, no times when you can completely relax._

_Isn't that true on any mission?_ Anakin went to the table where they ate and fingered the soft roosh petals he'd arranged in a bowl last night. He'd taken to placing fresh petals in the bowl every other day, hoping they would in some way bring comfort to his master. Now he was the one who sought comfort.

_Yes, but more so when you're protecting someone because they are your responsibility every moment, whether you're awake or asleep._ Obi-Wan crossed to Anakin, laid a hand on his arm. "And now, since you know all this already and it's merely review, what would you choose to talk about next?"

Anakin smiled a little; Obi-Wan's gently-teasing manner dragged him a little out of his fear. He picked up a roosh petal and held it up so Obi-Wan could see the beauty of the nearly-transparent petal. The padawan put off his most pressing concern for last, saying, "I have to go speak with Chancellor Palpatine."

"Will you be wary of him? His actions and words?"

Anakin nodded.

"Then you will be all right. It will be a short interview. And you and I should still be able to speak before we go."

"We won't get a chance to talk about everything we need to. Maybe you should speak with another Jedi about the voice." Anakin frowned, staring at the tender petal. _You're so lucky,_ he thought at it.

_No it's not, _Obi-Wan answered. _It's dead. To be alive is our gift, and to be alive also means to suffer sometimes or maybe to be in danger. If I have time, I will seek help. And I will, of course, tell you everything when you come back. _He took the petal. _As soon as we see each other again, we'll talk, time willing._

On to what had really started him pacing. He turned to face Obi-Wan fully. "Is this the separation the Force meant?"

"It would stand to reason, but I don't know for sure."

Anakin's hands tightened into fists. "We'll be together again." _I'll make it happen somehow._

_The Force will bring us back together. This doesn't feel permanent to me._

_Does any parting ever feel that way?_

Obi-Wan sighed. _None that I've ever experienced. _He grasped Anakin's upper arms. _Trust in the Force, as you have been. We'll see each other again._

Anakin wrapped his arms tight around his master. "Be careful."

"And get help? I can see you want to add that."

Anakin blushed. No doubt; his Obi was back. "Yeah. And get help." He grasped Obi-Wan's hands and sank into half-meditation, bringing Obi with him. _Force, let us return to each other._

_As You have been with us since our birth, and have remained with us all these years, be with us now and ever._ Obi-Wan stepped back, met Anakin's gaze. "We need to get going."

Anakin nodded. "Be careful. You're looking for the bounty hunter; if he knows you're on his trail, he might start looking for you, too."

"Well I know it. Remind me to tell you the story of Didi Oddo and his daughter, Astri." He smiled. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you."

They left their quarters, Anakin turning right, Obi-Wan turning left. Anakin didn't dare glance back for fear that Obi-Wan might be doing the same. He rounded the corner, and kept going.

oOo

"I will talk with her. Senator Amidala will not disobey an execute order. I know her well enough to assure you of that."

Obi-Wan's words about this man kept playing through Anakin's mind. He sensed no danger from Palpatine, no Darkness, and yet, he was no longer able to see the man as innocent or perfectly good. Anakin knew, intellectually, that no one was 'good' all the time, but now he wondered if he'd really understood what that meant until now. Palpatine didn't give him the creeps, but he didn't fill Anakin with confidence either. Sometimes, the lack of strong emotion one way or the other could be an indication in itself.

Mindful of the Jedi's role in the Republic (he had gleaned some information from those long-winded lectures Obi-Wan had been tossing him) Anakin said, "Thank you, Your Excellency."

"And so," Palpatine said. "They've finally given you an assignment. Your patience has paid off."

_What's that supposed to mean?_ Then Anakin remembered how Obi-Wan had all but forcibly kept his padawan and the chancellor apart. He didn't know what to say.

"This mission, I'm sure, will teach you many things. It will teach you to trust your feelings. And when you do that, you'll be invincible."

He was walking away from the windows, and Anakin felt bound to follow. The younger man wondered where Palpatine was going with this. _Well, at least we're headed for the door. I'll be able to escape soon._

The chancellor continued, "I have said it many times: you are the most gifted Jedi I have ever known."

Anakin felt a burst of pride, even though he didn't trust the source. Obi-Wan had confidence in him, but he'd never said something like that.

_That's because listening to flattery causes you to fall flat on your ass._

Anakin blinked. That quote had come from Qui-Gon, not Obi-Wan, but it still punctured his inflated pride like a laser punching through shields. Still, Anakin had to say something, and he thought this wasn't the time for dissembling or arguing; his need to get out was even greater than it had been before. "Thank you, Your Excellency."

"I see you becoming the greatest of the Jedi, even more powerful than Master Yoda."

Anakin felt the universe open to him, and he saw the possibilities: being able to protect Obi-Wan, being a master himself, maybe being in MasterYoda's place on the Council. The temptation to dwell on these possibilities was almost overwhelming. But he forced himself to release his anticipation into the Force. _Maybe I will be a great Jedi someday, maybe more powerful than Master Yoda, but that's not yet. And I don't get there by wishing it so. And there are no shortcuts._

Surprised and pleased with his triumph over his first serious battle with pride, Anakin nodded to the chancellor, then politely took his leave.

oOo

Yoda and Mace had encountered Obi-Wan as he made his way to the Analysis Room. They walked with him. Yoda sensed Obi-Wan's need to talk. In his floating chair, he flanked Obi-Wan on one side, and Mace flanked him on the other.

Mace sent, _Everything the Jedi do is like this: protecting, even symbolically, those that ask for our guidance._

_True that is._

_And just like we aren't enough to protect him from the universe, the Jedi aren't enough to protect the Republic if it comes to war._ Mace sighed. _I see our efforts growing weaker and weaker while the Darkness grows stronger. If the Jedi are to survive, I can't see how it will be done._

_Heal and grow we must, but time there may not be. _Yoda held up a hand, signaling Mace to let it go for now. These talks had begun to happen more and more often, and with no answer in sight, except this: preparation for the protection of the younglings if the Temple came under attack was moving along well. Escape routes had been cleared; places to hide found. It was a step, though not a big enough one. Still, Obi-Wan had come to them for help; Yoda set aside his concerns and turned his attention on the young Jedi. When the day came that more experienced Jedi were too busy to worry about others, that would be the day the Jedi Order came to a true end, never to be reborn.

"I'm concerned about the Senate," Obi-Wan said. "The corruption is only going to get worse again. We can't just give up on all the progress that's been made. Planets, whole systems have returned to the Republic. I don't mean that I should be taken off this assignment, but that another Jedi should be put in my place." He glanced from Mace to Yoda, then straight ahead. "I don't want to interfere with the Council's decision, but it feels like everything is on the edge of falling apart. We can't afford to let the Senate go." He shook his head. "That sounds as though we're controlling the Senate, and it's not what I meant. But…" He shrugged. "I don't know what to say or how to say it. And perhaps it's nothing but my own concerns getting in the way."

"That it is not," Yoda answered. "In grave danger the Republic and the Jedi are. Agree with you I do that the Senate allowed to become stagnant again cannot." He moved a little closer to Obi-Wan. "But discuss that later we will. A mission you have to complete. Speak now of your own pain you should, because a better time you may not find."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master." He paused. "My grief hasn't lessened, even a little. I dream of Qui-Gon every night. It has followed me into the daylight hours, causing a rift between my padawan and me. Though we've repaired the rift almost completely, I don't want something like that to happen again. My grief has taken on a voice of its own, a voice that sounds like Qui-Gon's, but isn't. And the voice only says one thing: 'move on.'" He cleared his throat. "Up until last night, those two words were repeated every night and while I was awake, also. Last night, I finally told Anakin what was wrong- he'd been trying to reach me for almost a month because he could tell something was wrong, even if he didn't know what- and he built a shield around the words. Now they don't clang in my head." He took in a breath, released it. "I don't know what to do. I promised Anakin we would sit down together when time allowed and try to discover what the voice is really trying to say. I know the voice is from my own head, so I must know what the words mean, even if I'm keeping the knowledge buried somehow." He turned to face them both, his eyes suddenly intense. "I'm not telling myself to let go of Qui-Gon and get on with my life; it doesn't have the feel of that at all. Besides, that wouldn't feel threatening; it's the truth. I feel I'm telling myself, maybe as the start of-" He groaned softly. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to bring up… It's not a real concern, just-"

Yoda said, "Speak the truth you should. What afraid of are you?"

The young master looked at him, and he looked like the lost child Yoda had found wandering around the Temple once. "I sometimes feel like I'm going insane, but those words are asking me to do something I would never do: leave the Jedi Order, join the Separatists, even…"

Yoda knew what Obi-Wan was going to say, but the young Jedi had to speak the words. If he didn't, he would ever be hiding from them. "Admit it you must, Obi-Wan, especially if admitted it to yourself before you have not."

Obi-Wan whispered, also like that youngling might have long ago, "Join the Dark Side." He squeezed his eyes shut, then breathed out. When he looked first at Yoda, then at Mace, he looked ashamed, very frightened, and also somewhat better for having voiced his fear. "I would never do any of those things. Never. So why am I telling myself to do them?" He laughed weakly, then composed himself again. "I'm sorry, Masters; I don't mean to sound so lost."

"Being honest you are. A problem with that we do not have."

"Are you sure the words are coming from your own mind?" Mace asked.

Obi-Wan blinked. "They couldn't be coming from Qui-Gon. Where else could they be coming from?"

"The Dark Force," Mace said. "It's the way of the Dark Force to sow doubt, and to put up walls between friends, isn't it?"

Obi-Wan nodded.

"Remember," Mace went on, "we never found out what the feeling was that was stalking you. Even though you didn't feel it on Dagobah, it may have taken a new form. Unable to learn about you from Anakin, it may have found a way to attack you directly." He frowned. "This feeling might be something of an outgrowth of the weakening of the Light Force."

Yoda sighed. Mace obviously had forgotten that only he and Yoda had discussed such a thing. It was a testament to how deeply Mace was being effected by the attack on Obi-Wan. From without or within, it was still an attack, and it was obviously taking everything Obi-Wan had to hold himself together. "Speak of that to no one you will, Obi-Wan," he said.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, Master." But he was still looking at Mace, his eyes wide. "It could be," he muttered. "I hadn't thought about it, since it disappeared the moment I touched down on Dagobah." He was silent for a moment, and when he spoke, he sounded more like the Obi-Wan who had stepped off the ship with Ryn-yn and the others. "Thank you. If it's that, at least I know what I'm up against."

"Also realize that from the Light Force this message might be. If recover from grief 'move on' does not mean, perhaps the Jedi it does not mean, either. Keep this in mind you should."

"Yes, Master. What should I do about the voice? Should I take down the shield?"

"Not until this mission is done. When done it is, sit with you and seek the answer I will. Mace and Anakin will join us. Together, find we will the answer." Yoda blinked. "Soon returning from his talk with Chancellor Palpatine Anakin will be. See him off will you?"

"Yes, Master."

Yoda nodded. "Speak later we will. For now, determine if you can if this feeling again following you is."

Obi-Wan bowed and left them.

Mace sent, _Anakin may be the Chosen One of prophecy, but Obi-Wan is being targeting as much or more than he is. Why?_

_Shrouded in mystery the Dark Side is. Unable to discern am I. But one thing for certain is: believes the Dark Force does that these two the key to the end of the Republic and the end of the Jedi are. But no one key there is to any end. Helped these two must be, but also prepare for the end we must. _He frowned deeply. _Decide today I will on who lead the retreat of the younglings will._

oOo

Padme sent Jar Jar on his way, then half-stormed into the room where her suitcase was waiting. She grabbed some folded clothes and wished she could shove them down the throat of the bounty hunter. "I do not like this idea of hiding."

"Don't worry. Now that the Council's ordered an investigation, it won't take Master Obi-Wan long to find this bounty hunter."

She grimaced and put the clothes in the suitcase, resisting the impulse to shove them in. Every movement had to be as controlled as she could make it. No one was watching her, except Anakin, but she felt that she needed to display the composure of a senator. But she couldn't keep the anger form her voice. "I haven't worked for a year to defeat the military-creation act to not be here when its fate is decided."

He took a few steps towards her, his eyes understanding. He looked much calmer than he had the night before. He had probably resolved whatever difficulty he and Master Kenobi had been having.

Anakin said, "Sometimes we must let go of our pride and do what is requested of us."

She gazed at him for a moment, surprised in spite of herself. She had to admit that after the argument she'd witnessed yesterday, and despite the calm conversation he'd had with her closer to sunset, she hadn't expected such calm words. _I guess I really am still thinking of him as that little boy on Tatooine. _"Anakin. You've grown up."

As she went for more clothes, he turned from her and headed to the window where she kept some of the statues from her world. "Master Obi-Wan manages not to see it."

She glanced at him, but his back was to her. She couldn't read his body language; the long cloak concealed it too well. She wondered if he was going to speak more about what had happened yesterday, and she wondered if she wanted to hear it.

He turned towards her, one of the detachable spheres from a statue floating above his hand. He gazed at it as he talked. "Don't get me wrong. Obi…Wan is a great mentor. As wise as Master Yoda and as powerful as Master Windu."

She wondered if that could be so, then reminded herself that she hadn't seen Anakin in years. He had changed; Obi-Wan must have as well. Besides, Obi-Wan had been great, even then. He'd killed a Sith.

"I am… truly thankful to be his apprentice."

She gazed at Anakin, who was looking back at her. She saw something else in his eyes, something she couldn't mistake, even though she'd never felt it herself: love. She blinked, wondering if the love he felt was for her.

Anakin set the sphere back on the statue. "I didn't mean what I said. He knows I'm grown up. He approved sending me on this mission. It's just…" He looked away.

Padme frowned to herself. She wanted to see his eyes again. She thought they might give her a clue as to what was going on with him, and why he could show so much emotion one minute, and be unreadable the next. She had always pictured Jedi as completely inscrutable. It was strange to meet one- well, two; she'd mostly read Obi-Wan last night as well- that betrayed his feelings at one moment and then hid every trace of them away.

She tried to get him to look at her, and so she took a guess as to what he was talking about. Maybe Obi-Wan's criticism still rankled; Anakin was still just a teenager, after all. "All mentors have a way of seeing more of our faults than we would like. It's the only way we grow."

"I know."

There it was again- that love. And as she looked into his eyes, she realized that he wasn't really seeing her, that it wasn't her he loved. She felt a rush of relief, then a twinge of sadness. Her sister had once teased her that she would never get married; sometimes, she wondered if it was true. _But it couldn't have worked between us anyway. He's a Jedi; they're not allowed to love._

He sank onto the bed and sighed. He looked so lost, just like that boy she'd met and liked at once.

She said, "Anakin," and when he looked at her, "don't try to grow up too fast."

He stood. "I am grown up." But he'd veiled that look, and he seemed calmer. There was a pause, then he said, "Thank you."

She smiled a little. "You're welcome." Then, as he turned away and headed for the window again, and she headed back into her closet, she murmured, "Careful, Annie. The Jedi aren't allowed to love, so whoever it is, you need to let them go."

oOo

As the refugee ship arrived, Anakin kept an eye out for anyone who might be a threat. Even though Padme was traveling in totally different clothes, he thought someone might spot her. And he hadn't ruled out the possibility that one of her own security people was a leak. He listened to her speak to her guards; one woman, Dorme, would act as a decoy, just as had been used before. Anakin hoped she would be safe.

Obi-Wan spoke, drawing Anakin's attention. Anakin could read pride, encouragement, belief and concern in his gaze. "Don't do anything without first consulting myself or the Council," he said. Which meant, _Do what the Force tells you, but if you need advice…_ They'd already worked things out in the five minutes they'd had before the ship arrived. Obi-Wan was just, in his concern for his padawan, restating it.

"Yes, Master." And in a softer voice, "Obi."

Obi-Wan's smile was brief, but there, and some of the concern was released. Anakin was glad to have helped with that much. Then he saw Obi-Wan's diplomat-face descend, and he wished that his master's time in the Senate hadn't filled him with such a lack of trust. Padme wasn't perfect, but she was not a Separatist spy, either. _Or maybe it has nothing to do with his time in the Senate; he trusts slowly. Always has. And even if he's trying now to trust more people, it will be a slow change._

Obi-Wan turned to Senator Amidala. "I'll get to the bottom of this plot quickly, my lady," he said. "You'll be back here in no time."

"I'll be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi."

Anakin wondered at her sudden formality, then realized she'd picked it up from Obi-Wan. He'd called her 'my lady' instead of 'Senator'; the distinction was small, but it was there.

Anakin saw that the last of the ship's passengers were boarding. "It's time to go."

"I know." She started towards the ship, and he followed.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan called.

Anakin turned.

_What's wrong, Padawan mine? I can feel the tension from here. You're going to do well on this mission._

_It's not part of this mission. I'll tell you about it when I get back. I promise. And I won't let it distract me. _Anakin hoped Obi-Wan couldn't pick up enough to know that his padawan was very worried about him. It felt to Anakin as if something was going to happen to his Obi-Wan while he was gone, and no matter how many times he sent the feeling into the Force, it came back just as strong. Anakin longed for the end of the nightmares that had surely spawned the feeling.

Respect and pride were evident in Obi-Wan's voice. _You show wisdom, knowing what we have time for and what we don't, and by making priorities. I'm proud of you._ He spoke, for Padme and the guards were looking at them in some confusion. "May the Force be with you."

"And may the Force be with you, Master." _Obi. _He grinned inside himself, and sensed a grin from the older man. Then Anakin turned, and he and Padme started for the ship.

oOo

Obi-Wan sighed as the ship finally took off. "I do hope he'll be all right," he murmured, his thoughts on their separation. He wondered how long it would be, then set the thought aside as a distraction.

Captain Typho asked, "Are you worried about him doing something?"

_Besides getting distracted like me? No. _

But before Obi-Wan could decide what to say, the captain said, "I'd be more worried about her doing something than him."

oOo

Qui-Gon closed his eyes. He was left alone much of the time, a showing of the awe S'ban felt for his guest. When Qui-Gon asked if he could use his room as a quiet place to meditate his host agreed at once. The request went against Qui-Gon's desires: he wanted to meet the children, spend time among a family, help around the house. But although his body was rapidly healing, the Force had told him to stay put, and to meditate.

He'd acquiesced, less reluctantly than he would have three years ago, but the longing to be moving about was still there. Setting it purposely aside, Qui-Gon had been communing with the Force for the past two weeks. At first, the Force told him nothing but 'wait'. He obeyed, and didn't ask any specific questions. Whatever he was waiting for, he'd get the answer sooner if he didn't have his own agenda.

Finally, after sixteen days of almost nonstop meditating (a part of his mind, small and amused, wondered what Obi-Wan would think of _that_ record) the Force didn't speak, but worked a miracle. Behind Qui-Gon's closed lids, the wonder of the Crystal Cave played out. The Jedi master was surrounded by visions. He breathed in and out, then looked to the nearest one.

It might have been Anakin- probably was- but he was at least twenty, and he no longer sported a padawan braid. His eyes were intense, and his lightsaber was raised in a defensive position. Qui-Gon struggled to see what the young Knight was protecting, but he couldn't. Letting go of his need to see, he started to turn away. But then Anakin spoke.

"You can't kill him. It's wrong."

"Only to you," answered a voice Qui-Gon had never heard. And yet, he thought it sounded familiar. It held tones that reminded him so much of someone he knew. _Obi-Wan? _he thought. _Or does that voice remind me of someone else?_

"It was wrong to you, too, once," Anakin persisted.

"Not anymore."

The vision faded.

Qui-Gon turned his eyes to the next, and saw an old man, hooded and standing with his arms crossed. Despite his stooped shoulders and ragged clothes, he faced into a biting wind without flinching. Qui-Gon followed the man's gaze, and saw a small house on a desert world. _Tatooine? _he wondered. Then he turned his eyes back to the weary man. Something about the way he was standing reminded the Jedi of Obi-Wan. He frowned, considered that thought, and decided it was the way the man's arms were folded. Obi-Wan stood like that sometimes when he was pondering something, though he'd only gained the posture during the last year or so of his training. No Jedi was supposed to have postures and poses, but this one gave away nothing, and so Qui-Gon had never discouraged it. He'd once liked how the pose made Obi-Wan look semi mysterious.

One last: all the others had faded, as though the Force had chosen these specifically for Qui-Gon to see. Soldiers in white full-body uniforms marched on the Jedi Temple. Qui-Gon leaned unconsciously forward. In the front, a tall, black-robed figure led them. The master couldn't see the leader's face, though he longed to. _What does this mean? _he asked the Force.

_It means your time to leave this place is coming, but it is not yet. When it is time for you to see who that figure is, it will turn towards you. For now, though you have learned much of patience, Qui-Gon Jinn, you still need more training. One more fact I'll give you: Annie is danger._

Qui-Gon frowned. _Is she in danger?_

_Annie is danger. _The voice of the Force departed, and the visions left.

Qui-Gon sighed, drew his frustration close, then let it go again. He scowled, then let his expression ease. _I don't know what you mean, _he told the Force. _I know only that Anakin must become the Chosen One or we are all doomed. _He sank into deeper meditation, alternately seeking answers and winning over his impatience long enough to simply float in the Force.

oOo

_This is the separation the Force meant. If I'm going to be away from Obi, I need to accept it._

He couldn't. It had been less than twenty hours, and already Anakin felt the pull on his heart. Being separated from Obi-Wan so soon was making him nauseous, restless, and inattentive to the Force. Mindful of the lesson he'd learned while tracking the assassin in the club, he did his best to release his feelings. But each time he succeeded, they returned, just as strong, maybe stronger. And when he closed his eyes, even for an instant, it was Obi-Wan's face he saw.

He and Padme had retreated to the lake country, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized she'd made the right choice. He didn't like that she'd told the queen and the others present that he was still a padawan, but, he'd reminded himself, they would have figured it out if they knew anything about braids. He let his injured pride go, even though it had been serving as a partial distraction from his longing for Obi-Wan.

As they stepped off the boat, Anakin offering his hand to her, he decided to completely forget her words. She had offered him help before, and she might do so again. He knew it was dangerous to think of her too much as a space angel, a perfect, incorruptible being, but he almost desperately needed the comfort.

As they strode along a railing with the water at their left hand, she said, "We used to come here for school retreat. We would swim to that island every day. I love the water."

Abruptly, Anakin became conscious of the glis-li that were singing not far away. His heart ached.

She went on, "We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us, and try to guess the names of the birds singing."

"That's a glis-li."

She turned to him, surprised. "How do you know that? It's native to Naboo. You can't remember from so many years ago, can you? And when would you have had time to ask."

"Master Obi-Wan was here once when he was sixteen. He likes birds. He found out the name of this one." He paused, swallowed. It shouldn't hurt this much to talk. "And there are glis-li at Temple. There are many different birds and plants in the gardens. B'yrch trees from Fregala, rooshes from Andia II. It's another way to connect us both with no home in particular, and yet with every planet, every home."

She nodded. "That makes sense. Do you like the glis-li?"

He looked away. Obi-Wan's image followed. "They're Obi's favorite." His mouth went dry. Saying the nickname was even worse. He groaned and leaned on the railing. Turning back to something she'd said before, he muttered, "I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating." He sensed her looking at him, and made himself return her gaze. "And it gets everywhere." He remembered running across the sand on Tatooine, Qui-Gon yelling for him not to look back. And he remembered seeing Obi-Wan for the first time, and being a little afraid.

Anakin groaned again. "I'm sorry, my lady."

She reached up and touched his shoulder. But when he looked at her, she drew back. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I don't mind. Obi-" He stopped again, then straightened. "We should go in. We haven't eaten anything decent since we left Coruscant." He turned to go, but, conscious of his duty, waited for her to precede him.

She did, but before they stepped out of the sun, she said, "Whatever's wrong, can the Force heal it?"

He blinked, surprised all over again at her trust of the Force. "Yes," he murmured. "It can. It has been. I just… This won't be completely fixed until I see- until I'm- until the mission's over and you're safe."

She raised an eyebrow at him, obviously understanding that he was hiding something from her but, Force be thanked, she didn't say anything.

Anakin followed her into the house. _Please, _he begged the Force, _protect Obi. And let me see him soon. And please keep me focused. She's counting on me to defend her._

oOo

The host's name was Jango Fett. 'Host'. What an… unpleasant term.

Obi-Wan acknowledged that he was thinking about the disagreeable word to keep from pondering the massive army he saw before him. He forced his mind from the bounty hunter, only to find it returning there again as he stared at the clones below.

A bounty hunter had been the prototype for these… men? Could you call them men? Obi-Wan pushed that semantics debate away, to be dealt with later. He looked at the army again.

And he was looking for a bounty hunter, wasn't he? Were there coincidences in the Force? No. Every youngling learned that. Dark or Light, the Force bred connections. So could Jango Fett be the bounty hunter targeting Senator Amidala?

The confirmation came immediately from the Force.

Obi-Wan thought, _Well, at least now I know who he is, and what he wants. And I'll get to meet him soon._

His eyes went back to the army, and his stomach turned. If ever there was proof that the Dark Side had gained in strength, this was it: an army said to be for the Republic, but one that could only lead to the deaths of millions, even in the name of a 'good' cause.

_We've come to the bridge; we'll most likely have to burn it- either cross over and fight, or cut the ropes and let it drop, probably condemning us to a slow decay. Force help us. An army bought and paid for by a master why died long before the order was ever placed, bred for a single purpose: not to save the Republic. An army like this can only lead to war. Force help us. What are we going to do?_

oOo

They sat out in the middle of a field, the two of them surrounded by more nature than Anakin had seen in years. At least no glis-li sang here.

He wasn't sure how they'd started talking about crushes; she'd brought it up. He'd made up one, pretending that he'd been attracted to another padawan when he was thirteen. Despite his best efforts, this imaginary Jedi had ended up with red hair and changeable eyes. Consciously, he'd made the Jedi female. Unconsciously, he'd made her a talented lightsaber duelist, and he'd made her a lover of flowers. He'd shouted at himself to stop talking, but he kept going for a little longer, telling how they'd gone separate ways.

"Because of your duty to the Jedi?" she asked.

Completely lost in thoughts of Obi-Wan, he answered, "No. Because it would hurt him." He blinked, flushed. "Her. Sorry. Mind's drifting. What about you?"

She averted her eyes. "I don't know."

_So, you don't want to talk about your love any more than I do. _He felt an urge to ease her, an urge that was so close to his craving to tease Obi-Wan that it was almost eerie. "Sure you do. You just don't want to tell me."

"You gonna use one of your Jedi mind tricks on me?"

_Where did you-? _Then he remembered: she might have seen Qui-Gon use it, discretely, once or twice. Qui-Gon had used the technique more often than Obi-Wan; there was a very good chance she'd seen it. "They only work on the weak-minded."

"All right." She looked back at him, her cheeks flushed. "I was twelve. His name was Paolo. We were both in the Legislative Youth Program. He was a few years older than I… Very cute. Dark curly hair, dreamy eyes-"

_Hair red as the sunset and soft as- _"All right. I get the picture." Then, realizing he was being rude, "Whatever happened?"

"I went into public service. He went on to become an artist."

"Maybe he was the smart one." Back on good footing.

She gave him a mock-glare. "You really don't like politicians, do you?"

_I guess Obi's thoughts are getting to me. _He shrugged, smiled. "I like two or three." But he was thinking about Palpatine now, remembering how Obi-Wan had kept Palpatine away. And he remembered why Obi-Wan had to go into the Senate in the first place. "I don't think the system works."

"How would you have it work?" She looked interested, but also cautious.

He shrugged again, disliking the topic. He didn't really care about the Senate, just so long as they left Obi-Wan out of all the politics. Democracy had worked for centuries; why did it have to bog down now? Why couldn't everything just be the way it was when Obi-Wan was younger, when the system functioned much more smoothly, when the Jedi were left to do what they did best: protect the peace? Still, talking was vastly better than thinking. He let his mouth take over. "We need a system where the politicians sit down and discuss the problem, decide what's best for all the people, and then do it."

"That's what we do. The trouble is, people don't always agree."

"Well then they should be made to." _So they can give him back to me. _Anakin knew it wasn't the Senate's fault that he and Obi-Wan were separated right then, but their parting had started when the older Jedi began spending all that time in the Senate rotunda.

"By who? Who's gonna make them?"

He hated this topic now; it was official. Why'd he have to open his big mouth anyway? "I don't know. Someone."

"You?"

"Of course not me."

"But someone."

He could see she was getting frustrated with him. He wished he could backtrack. He tried to make it sound better. "Someone wise." Then it struck him: if Obi-Wan was so good with politics, why couldn't he be chancellor? He'd be able to see the best interests of all, because he'd listen to the Force, and to Master Yoda, but he'd have his own ideas, too. And he'd been learning to express those more freely. And once he got things moving again, he could step down and hand the chancellorship over to someone trustworthy. Not necessarily a Jedi, but-

Anakin stopped. That would all take too long. Better to just let the Senate go; surely they'd straighten themselves out. They'd done it before. They'd survived for so long. What was different now that couldn't be fixed? And without Obi-Wan's help, thank you very much. Obi-Wan had enough to worry about, repetitive, nagging voices not the least.

She said, "Sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me."

"Well… If it works." He wasn't thinking; he just wanted to get off this topic. Couldn't they talk about the birds or something? Damn. Not the birds. He glanced down. Fine. The springy grass. Just not about this. Staring at the ground, he noticed a small bug making its way over his shoe.

_Look at the littlest creatures, _Obi-Wan whispered in his mind from a long-ago memory, _and you will see the Force at work._

Anakin smiled. It was comforting, knowing the Force was still there, still guiding him, even when he felt lost. He glanced at her, and saw she'd lost her serious expression, too.

"You're making fun of me," she said.

He grinned, glad to be back on footing he trusted. "No I'm not. I'd be much too frightened to tease a senator."

Peace was restored between them, and they didn't talk about politics again.


	33. Vision and Promises

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry this is two days late, but I've been sick since Wednesday and just haven't been able to do the things I want to do. Thanks- which I should have been giving before this- to my beta, Gizzi.

LostPg. 635

Separated AgainPg. 656

Anakin's VisionPg. 675

PromisesPg. 694

Anakin's Vision

They'd returned from their romp in the grass, and Anakin, having changed quickly, was standing outside alone. He stood with his hands folded behind his back and gazed out across the lake. Trying to break the maudlin spirit that had clung to him since he left Coruscant, he thought, _He and I will be reunited. The Force never said anything about our separation being permanent. And when we come together, I'll ask Padme if our ceremony can be here. Obi and Qui-Gon never had a bonding ceremony- they couldn't for so long, and then they didn't have time. But we would have time, and I think he'd like it. It's beautiful here, and even though Jedi aren't supposed to favor one planet over another, Obi likes beautiful things. And, of course, the glis-li are here, and so are their flowers._

Closing his eyes, Anakin tried to imagine the robes he'd be arrayed in, and the ones Obi-Wan would wear. But no matter how he worked to imagine his master in red robes or white or grey, he was forced to return to the tan and brown Obi-Wan always wore. The colors not only embodied who Obi-Wan was as a Jedi, but who he was as a person. Under all the turbulent dreams, and under the older man's more than occasional stubbornness and arrogance, he was calm, serene, reserved. Most of the time, these qualities even shone forth in his speech and movements.

The young Jedi tried to see the ceremony, but before this daydream was fairly started, the Force surged within him and he was taken from Naboo and whisked halfway across the galaxy. The vision claimed all his senses. He stood in a dimly-lit, natural cavern. There were doors made of metal, but all these were closed. And in the center of the chamber, Obi-Wan turned in a stasis field. He seemed mostly uninjured, though his lightsaber was conspicuously absent.

In the physical world, Anakin's hands tightened on the stone railing, but he was no more aware of this than he was usually aware of his breathing. _Obi! _he called.

The older man gave no sign that he'd heard.

One of the metal doors vanished upwards into the ceiling and a white-bearded man in a black robe strode into the chamber. His lips moved soundlessly, and Obi-Wan's lips also moved. Anakin strained to hear, but he couldn't catch anything.

Then the dark-robed man- _is he a Sith?_ Anakin wondered. _Is this the Lord of the Sith?-_ lifted a hand. A Force-collar hovered above his palm, and he pushed it towards Obi-Wan.

_Look out! _Anakin shouted.

The Force-collar closed around Obi-Wan's neck.

_Break it! _the young Jedi screamed. _You can break it! Obi- _He fell silent, and his stomach twisted beneath his ribs.

The dark-robed man was stripping Obi-Wan, first of his belt and boots, then his tunic.

_Obi! _Anakin's fingernails dug into the railing, and though they would soon break and bleed, he gave them no heed. _Damn it, Obi! Break the collar! You can! You've done it before!_

Obi-Wan is speaking again, and the other man is talking back even as he undid his own robes. Then he released the stasis field and drew Obi-Wan to him with the Force.

At least Anakin hoped he was using the Force, that Obi-Wan wasn't approaching of his own will.

The man turned Obi-Wan, both of them still talking, and entered him, gripping Obi-Wan's hips.

And even though a grimace of pain disfigured Obi-Wan's face and sweat broke out on his brow, he didn't break the collar or fight at all. When Anakin gazed into his eyes, he saw that Obi-Wan was, deep down, at peace.

The padawan's stomach turned and he screamed, _What's wrong with you? Do you want him to rape you? Damn it, Obi! Fight him!_

That look of deep peace was spreading. As the black-robed man rutted him in earnest, Obi-Wan breathed in and out and continued to talk. His eyes shone with an emotion Anakin took for happiness.

In the physical world, a hand fell on Anakin's shoulder, and he came out of the vision so fast he felt dizzy. Groaning, he sank to his knees, still clinging to the railing. He bowed his head and willed himself to forget the cavern and Obi-Wan's submission. The vision didn't go, but he was able to push it to the back of his mind. Likewise, he tried to send his anger at Obi-Wan that way. He knew he couldn't release it just yet. There was still a chance he'd mistaken everything and Obi-Wan had been fighting, in his own way, but until that chance came, Anakin felt like he'd been stabbed in the back, then had his heart popped out through his mouth. No way he could let go of anger under such conditions.

"Annie, what's wrong?" Warm arms wrapped themselves tightly around him, and he turned into the embrace, leaning against her. When he thought he might be able to speak, he said, "It was a vision. It may not come true, but it was so real…"

She stroked the back of his head and rubbed gentle patterns on his back. "Can you tell me about it? Will that help?"

In his rage, he opened his mouth to tell her everything, just to spite Obi-Wan. But his tongue hadn't gotten the message that he hated Obi-Wan; it wouldn't form the words. Giving up for the time being, he said, "I'm not ready to tell yet. It was very bad."

She nodded. "I'm here when you're ready to talk. Have you decided what you're going to do about the information you were given?"

"I'm going to let him fry. He wants to suffer, that's just fine with me." Anakin grimaced and drew back from her, meeting her gaze. "He's making a terrible mistake, but he wants to make it." He stopped before he could blurt out more. "It might be nothing," he said when he'd released some of his frustration (though not the core of his anger) into the Force. "Sometimes visions are just visions, without a basis in reality." He smiled a little. "I've always had a hard time accepting that they may never come to pass."

She said, "It's hard to look at the good possibilities if all you are given are the bad ones." She touched his hand where it rested on his knee. "Until you decide what to do, or until the vision reveals itself as fact or fiction, will you come inside and help me with a late lunch?"

He nodded, glad for a distraction. He stood and offered his hand to her. When their hands touched, he felt a spark between them. It was different from the one he'd felt sometimes with Obi-Wan, but it was still a spark, and in his hurt and fury, he wondered if it could be the spark a man felt for a woman.

_And wouldn't that just fix Obi-Wan if I fell in love with her and gave up on him completely?_

His heart couldn't see a way to accomplish either of those lies yet but Anakin refused to listen to his heart. His head told him he could take away his own pain and make Obi-Wan suffer at the same time for his submission. _This is more than grieving for Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan looked like he was really enjoying himself. So why should I beat myself up or waste time in anger when he's obviously so happy? _

He followed Padme into the house, willing nature to take its course.

oOo

Padme watched Anakin across the table. It had taken them the better part of three hours to make 'lunch' and the meal had turned into supper. Even though her maids had offered to help, they had chosen to do everything themselves, and with as little technology as possible. She had found the entire process relaxing, and had the pleasure of seeing Anakin's expression ease as they worked. And seeing him regain his equilibrium, and even spying a glimpse of the great man he would one day become, she felt an intense need to be near him, to make him smile, and also to never leave him.

She discounted this last. He was a Jedi. She was a Senator. They could never make it work. Besides, even if, by some miracle, it did work, how could she take him away from the person that he loved now? She hadn't forgotten the expression she'd seen in his eyes, or the certainty from her own heart that he was deeply committed to this other. Regardless of whether he wanted to love her and another or not, she wouldn't be the means for destroying his first love. Let him choose to leave that person, then, maybe, she might entertain a brief fantasy or two about spending many long days like this with him. Until then, he was out of her reach.

They now sat across from each other at the dying of the day. His mood had held when they stopped moving about, and that pleased her. He was recounting a mission he had been on with his master, and though she thought it strange that he barely mentioned Obi-Wan, she was too interested in his storytelling powers to care.

"…And when I got to them, we went into aggressive negotiations."

"Aggressive negotiations? What's that?" She smiled at him, both expecting a joke and genuinely curious.

"Uh, well…" He blushed a little, smiled back at her. "Negotiations with a lightsaber."

Laughing, she wondered who had coined that particular term. It made sense, but she sensed it was contrary to the way Jedi thought of their interactions with the galaxy. Maybe Anakin had made it up himself. She decided she would ask him later.

There was a muja fruit on her plate. She moved to cut it, but it lifted into the air and drifted across the table to Anakin's waiting hand. He grinned at her, then began cutting the fruit in half. "If Master Obi-Wan caught me doing this, he'd be very grumpy."

She caught a flicker of something unpleasant beneath his tone, even though his eyes still danced, and she smiled uneasily. Maybe Anakin had made light of the few times and his master had quarreled. She sensed there was something unsaid between the two Jedi, and it was tormenting Anakin. Did it torment Obi-Wan as well? And if it did, why hadn't they resolved it?

On top of all that, had Anakin's vision been about his master? She'd asked Anakin what he was going to do about the vision, and he'd answered that he was going to let someone- a male someone- fry, that the man had made his own decision and Anakin was going to let him suffer. That didn't sound very Jedi-like, but it also spoke of someone close to Anakin. Couldn't he be talking about his master? And what had driven the two of them apart?

But now Anakin was looking at her again, and again she saw the spark of love in his eyes. Only now, it was dimmer, and directed at her. She blinked, but it was still there, and his whole mood had shifted, as if he'd purposely thrown a switch that closed off one door and opened another.

She tried to smile at him, but her heart fluttered, and she realized suddenly that she wasn't very hungry. A part of her that had remained mostly hidden away since Paolo came to the surface.

_And that's just the reason it should stay down, _she thought. _A child's fascination and crush is no way to begin a relationship._

Still, he was handsome, and caring, and-

_Unpredictable. No. I won't do this. No matter how good a fling with him would feel. Neither of us can afford it._

His eyes still called to her. She looked at the nearest dish of food and said briskly, "Let's try the fruits of our labor."

The rest of dinner passed like that, uncomfortable for her, and seemingly unreal for him. The look in his eyes fluctuated, alternately replaced with fear, that first love she'd seen, and a lost look. Her heart ached for him and she longed to wrap him in her arms again as she had outside.

After dinner, the sun having gone down, they retired to an inner room with a fire, and they sat close together on the loveseat her sister had moved in here years ago, saying that someday Padme would want to bring a man home. Well, now she had a man home, but he wasn't what she'd expected, and even though she was intrigued and drawn by all his conflicting emotions, she wished they had chosen a more spacious room. She felt closed in with him, and the loveseat was way too small.

They sat in uncomfortable silence, and when he reached out to grasp her hand, she let him, just to have something to focus on besides her own thoughts. His hand was rough on the palm, and she turned it, gazing at the calluses in the firelight.

He said, "Lightsaber work. I've had one in my hand since I was nine. I made my own shortly after we left Naboo. A lightsaber is very sacred to a Jedi; it's the only thing we truly ever own, because each of us makes our own handle, and the Force takes us to the right crystals that are meant to give it power."

"Can I see yours?"

He nodded, took his hand away to draw the hilt out, then set the cylinder in her empty palm. "We don't let most people hold the hilts; only those we trust. You're only the second person to hold it."

She felt his eyes on her as she examined it, but that feeling of discomfort had gone. Still, she didn't ask who the first was; she was more discreet than that. She traced the image of the two circles.

He said, "The suns of Tatooine. And around them, the symbol of the Jedi Temple. My first home, and then my second, which is not really a home, but which shows that the whole galaxy is my home, the home of every Jedi."

"Do you ever feel lost in the galaxy? As if it is so huge, and you're so small?"

"I used to. But the Force is everywhere, and since I am a part of the Force, sustained by the Force, I might be small, but the energy that runs through me is bigger, even, than the galaxy. The Force lives inside us, outside us, in everything. Not just in living things, but in rock, in buildings, in the very air. Being part of the Force helps me know that I'm always home." He suddenly shifted, sat up ramrod straight; his hands became fists. "What else do you see?"

She glanced at him, reading the return of anger in his voice, then she looked down at the hilt again. "There's a small nick here. Is that part of a design?"

"No." He reached for the hilt, then drew his hand back. Looking at her, he said, "Do you want to hear how it happened?"

She nodded, unsure if she truly did, but sensing that, in the telling, he might reveal the source of his rage. If she could know that, she could help him.

"We infiltrated a slaving operation on Coruscant. Slavers had been trading right there for years, but local security couldn't pin them down, and the operation had been hidden by the Dark Force. A crack in the defenses of the Dark Force allowed us to find the main base. My master and I were sent there to break things wide open. We went in undercover as buyers. But one of the slaves to the head of the company was Force-sensitive, and he sensed our connection to the Force. He and his owner laid a trap for us. We might have avoided it, but-" he stared down at his hands- "I sprang the trap, and even though my master could have gotten away, he chose to stay. We were both placed in Force collars and sold, luckily to buyers right on Coruscant, so at least we weren't taken far from each other.

"I was assigned to a bank owner who wanted to know if those applying for loans could really produce all the collateral they said they could. He would take off the Force collar so I could sense their feelings. The thirtieth time he did this, I escaped. I had acted docile and afraid, and though he should have been able to figure out I was a padawan by my braid, he believed I'd been broken. Or maybe he recognized what the braid meant and prided himself that he'd broken a Jedi. I made Obi-Wan- not using his name, of course- out to be my older brother who had been killed because he disobeyed. My story was believed, though it took a good week before I saw a way to escape. I took it, and started looking for my master.

"I should have gone back to the Temple and gotten help, but I was so sure that I was the only one who could find him, and that there wasn't a moment to lose, that I didn't even hesitate. I made my way back to the main headquarters and hacked into their system to find out who he'd been sold to."

He shook his head. "I have to tell you something before I get too far in. You know there's the Dark Side and the Light Side of the Force right?"

She nodded. Everyone knew that, or anyone who had talked with Jedi as often as she had. She felt a slight tingling in all her limbs, and she realized that she was afraid of what Anakin was going to tell her.

"Well, the Dark Force has taken it into what passes for its mind that my master is a threat to its triumph. But instead of trying to kill him, like it has tried to kill other Jedi in the past, it decided to try and break him. Since he was five years old- the Dark Force has been keeping an eye on him that long- the Dark Force has sent Dark Force users to rape him."

Padme's throat closed, but she must have made some sort of noise, because he nodded.

"Yeah. I know. Sick, right? That's what happened, though. Count Dooku, when he was still a Jedi, touched my master, and another padawan did, too. Then, when he turned thirteen, a former Jedi named Xanatos raped him. Then he was raped again by another padawan, ber'Nac, before he became a master." He closed his eyes for a moment, then said, "I'm going to tell you this because you'll understand how hard it is for him, but you need to promise- really promise- not to ever tell anyone."

She nodded, feeling cold all over. "I promise."

"Annie Jenn is a youngling at Temple. She's his daughter. ber'Nac raped him, and she's the result." He sighed. "I know it's unusual for men to get pregnant, but among his people…"

Padme wasn't listening. She'd heard of male pregnancy, and while it was rare, it wasn't unheard of. And if the Force was so powerful, couldn't it have brought about a miracle? She didn't care how he'd gotten pregnant, but was put in mind of the abortion debates that had raged on her planet when she was very young, and how her mother had fought hard to keep anti-abortion laws from being instituted. Her mother had believed that only the mothers should choose, though counseling should first be tried, to see if there could be any chance of the baby living. Many of the other people in Padme's family hadn't agreed with her mother, and she'd been too young at the time to have an informed opinion. As she'd grown up, she'd realized that her mother was right, that no one should have to carry a baby they'd been forced to conceive. "Did the Jedi Council force him to carry the baby to term?"

Anakin stared at her, and she realized she'd stopped him mid-word. But he recovered quickly and shook his head. "No. I don't think they would ever do that." He frowned. "There was never any talk of him having an abortion. I guess it was assumed he would just carry her." He looked shocked. "I never thought about it. I just assumed he had to give birth. But he could have chosen not to."

She took Anakin's hand, squeezing lightly. "Not if it was the expected thing that he would give birth. It's very hard to go against everything you're taught."

"I have no idea what the Temple teaches on that subject." His smile was thin. 'Though that question probably hardly ever comes up. But I just wanted you to know what kind of man he is: he carried her and gave birth to her on a deserted world where there wasn't a single trace of technology or help. He could have died. But even after being raped by her father, he refused to give up on her. He's done nothing but try to watch out for her even while he's been going through a hundred hard things himself. He's been raped by three different people, and that doesn't count the twenty or so times he's been groped, sexually harassed- by creatures three or four times his size, some of them with a great command of the Dark Force- and molested. He's tried to fight each off, but the Dark Force always found a way to get through his defenses."

He stood and started pacing around the room, his strides kept necessarily short by the tight quarters. "I told you all that so you'll understand what was going through my head when I started looking for him. And I don't want you to think he's weak. He always fought, and sometimes I think it was predestined by the Light Force that this was his burden. Each Jedi has something they struggle against. With Qui-Gon, it was independence of thought at the risk of all else. With Obi-Wan, he's a target of the Dark Force, and, like I said, the Dark Force seems to only see one way to take him down."

"Does it work? Has he broken down after being raped so many times?"

"Sort of. He went to Dagobah, a planet on the opposite side of the galaxy from Coruscant, for two years, at the request of the Light Force, and because he needed to recover from all the times he's been attacked, and because the Force…" He shook his head. "Never mind. That doesn't matter. Just remember this: he came back from Dagobah changed, stronger, I guess, but that's not the right word. He came back ready to take on the Dark Force, no matter what it throws at him." He grimaced. "Or on top of him."

"Please, Anakin, come sit down."

He did, and he took her hand in his, but his eyes darted around for a moment or two before settling on her, as if he felt trapped. "I went looking for him, knowing-" he bore down on her hand- "_knowing_ he had been made a whore somewhere. And I needed nothing more than to get him back to Temple, to safety."

She saw what was coming next in his eyes, and said, "But he wasn't being raped."

"No. His owner had tried, but in the middle of it all, before he even went in, but when he was too far gone to know what he was doing, Obi-Wan talked him into unhooking the Force collar." He muttered, seemingly to himself, "I guess he was a diplomat even back then." Then, louder, "He was leading a slave rebellion when I showed up." He grinned, and the anger and tension went completely from his gaze for the first time since dinner. "I don't know how he'd found his lightsaber, but he had, and he'd found mine, too. He was carrying both in hopes of finding me and freeing me.

"I'd heard about the rebellion as I got closer to the house where he was supposed to be, but I wasn't giving it much thought. I was so sure he was being raped that I was blind to all other possibilities. I would have charged in there looking for him and maybe gotten myself captured if a freed slave hadn't found me. Obi had given my description out, and T'lee'ann, the one who found me, had just come from speaking with him.

"The Jedi often say there are no coincidences in the Force, and I agree. That was only one of the times the truth of that was proven."

His smile spread, lighting his eyes. "I said yes, and he took me right to Obi. Being twelve at the time, I kept telling myself I was too old to cry. I _balled_ when I saw him. I couldn't help it. We've always shared a tight bond that I thought, for a long time, wasn't shared by any other master-padawan team in the Order.

"The headquarters for the slave trade was in the Orange District. Do you know where that is?"

"The lower levels of Coruscant. It's dim there, filthy, lots of children without homes or families." She shook her head. "That's one of the things I hate: we can change worlds, but sometimes we can't change what's right in front of us."

"The headquarters was in a building with walls so thick almost nothing could break in. And there were no windows. Obi had already managed to flush or trick most of the guards out of the building. I think he'd been planning to just walk out of the Orange District and get help for everyone who had placed their lives in his hands, but the guards who had fled returned with help from the air. Speeders equipped with blasters started circling above us, and this voice behind a bull horn told us to all surrender and no one would be hurt except the leader of the rebellion. The air was charged with fear and doubt; everyone looked to Obi, waiting to see what he would do. One woman said, 'If we surrender, my baby will live. Please, we can't fight them. We don't have any weapons.' Obi said to her, and to all of them that were watching, 'Stick together. The Force will see us through this.' Then he ordered everyone inside the headquarters where the weapons couldn't penetrate, and where our position could be better-defended. Obi and I guarded the retreat of the others with our lightsabers. If the slavers had any common sense, they would have recognized us as Jedi and left well enough alone."

"They came after us, following so close with so many droids that we were forced to retreat and retreat. It would have been different if it was just Obi and me, because we could have taken more risks. But there were too many innocents to protect. We couldn't risk a fire fight." He reached up and covered her eyes, though not all the way. "What do you see?"

"Firelight," she answered, surprised to hear that her voice was shaking. She'd been caught up in his story. "And some shadows."

"They cut the power to the building, so it was dim just like this, except the little bit of light that was provided by our lightsabers. Imagine yourself trapped there with hundreds of freed slaves so close you can barely move. Now, into that, bring two hundred droids, some small and agile, others tall as a man, and several dozen men with blasters. Listen to the younger children crying and the frightened whispers everywhere."

Her eyes were closed now, and she felt him take his hand away. "I see it. I hear them."

His voice came out of the darkness, rough and quiet. "Now imagine Obi standing between them and the droids. I'm standing beside him, but I'm afraid to move my lightsaber for fear of hurting someone. There's a pause, then Obi said, 'You don't want to shoot us.' Calm as you please."

"But I thought those tricks only worked on the weak-minded."

"They do. It wasn't going to work on everyone, but it bought us the time we needed as the strong-willed ones stared at their comrades and urged them to fight. Obi said, 'Code 323, authorization: Kenobi one. Enable.' Every single droid fell over or fell out of the air."

"When did he have time to reprogram the droids?!"

"When he first escaped. Keep in mind he explained all this to me afterwards. So, two-thirds of the guards are mind-numbed, the rest are confused, and all the droids are so much trash in the hall. Obi whispered to me, 'Ready?' Then he ordered to all those behind us, 'Down!' As they dropped and covered their heads, he and I leapt over the droids and engaged the enemy at close range. We kept all stray blasts- the few that there were, since most of them had dropped their blasters- from hitting the ones we were protecting, and we started forcing the shooters back out the way they'd come, trying not to kill them, only to disarm them.

"We had almost all of them outside when I felt this surge of Dark Force, and I turned, confused. No one should have been attacking from behind, but I didn't question it. A blaster bolt hit my leg and I went down." He sighed. "I'd never been hit by anything so painful. I screamed. Sometimes, in my nightmares, I know it was my scream that distracted Obi for a crucial second."

She opened her eyes, reached out for him. "Anakin, it wasn't-"

He met her gaze, and she saw the burning in his eyes, anger and sorrow and fear mixed. "Please close your eyes. I don't know if I can finish this with you looking at me."

"You don't have to-"

"Yes I do, Padme. You need to understand."

And because the look in his eyes was anguished and compelled her to obey, she did as she was told.

He resumed, "Remember that slave I told you about, the one that detected us in the first place? He jumped Obi from behind and put a Force collar around his neck."

She gasped.

"You have no idea what it's like to have the man you care about there one minute and gone the next. That's how it felt in the Force, and I was crying so hard from my own pain that I couldn't see him. I learned when I was fourteen that the death of a Jedi and the temporary separation of a Jedi from the Force have two different feels, but I didn't know that at the time. So even though I felt like I was on fire, I got up and got between the owners and Obi. The slave moved to join them and I… I killed him. Cut him right in half." He sucked in a breath, then let it out noisily. His voice was scarcely steadier when he started speaking again. "I screamed at them that I would kill every single one of them for what they'd done to my Obi, and I started for them. I must have looked scary, because after taking a few shots at me, they all ran away. Cowards." His breathing came in harsh exhales and silent inhales that were like pauses between deadly gusts of hurricane-force wind.

She didn't dare open her eyes.

"The slaves all came out, and they were all cheering, but I felt sick. I'd never killed anyone before, and, worse than that, right then, I was sure Obi was dead. They'd shot him; I could see the holes in his tunic when I knelt by him, and he wasn't moving. I used the Force- it was probably the Dark Force, but I don't remember- to open the collar. At once, I felt his life force, and I could breathe again. Then it was time to worry about what I'd done to the slave.

"Obi recovered; the Force had mostly protected him, though he'd been grazed by two bolts, one cutting his scalp and the other ripping his shoulder. He didn't talk to me until we were back at Temple. While we were both being treated, he said, 'Anakin, I'm afraid for you. You killed in anger.' I didn't know what to say to him. He sounded so disappointed. Then he said, 'We have all made mistakes just like that one, but it's time you and I concentrated on releasing your anger. Just as Qui-Gon had to teach me how to trust the Living Force, I'm going to teach you to believe in the Force's ability to heal and protect you.'

"And so I learned, mostly. I try to release my anger, and I know the Force helps. But he was wrong: learning about the Living Force wasn't what he needed. He needed to learn self-respect. I wanted you to know how wonderful he is in spite of everything he's been through, because I need your opinion about the vision I saw."

She listened in horror and denial as he told her all he'd seen. She barely waited until he was done before she jumped in with, "How can you be sure he was surrendering? Maybe he had no choice." Her eyes were open, and she glared at him. His description fit with neither of the Obi-Wans she'd met- not the intense man from eight years ago, and certainly not the calm, reserved Master who had bowed to her in her apartment on Coruscant.

"He knows how to break a Force collar, Padme. What other answer could there be? And even though it looked like it hurt- I could see his face- he didn't even struggle. Not even a little. And once he was out of the stasis field, he could have fought at least a little. I would want to save him if I thought he had gone down after a fight. But since he just gave up… I'm just going to leave him there. Why should I try to save him when he gave himself over to the Dark Force without even a token protest?"

"How can you? Where was he?"

"I don't know. And I don't care. This was his choice."

"Is it happening right now?" she demanded, doing her best to match the power of his glare.

He shrugged. "Probably not. Visions usually happen before the actual event, if they happen at all."

Her eyebrows shot up. "So this might not even happen and you're ready to condemn him?"

"It's going to happen; this one I can feel. The Force is telling me it's going to happen and there's nothing I can do about it." He sighed. "When you asked if he'd ever been broken, and I said 'sort of', I should have said yes. He's finally broken. And when I told you he's been raped by three different people, I was adding this new man, whoever he is. It's going to happen, and I can't, and won't, help him. He chose this."

"How can you talk about him like he's the most wonderful person you've ever met-"

"I didn't-"

"Don't interrupt." She stood, turned away from him for a moment. "How can you do that, give him a nickname in fondness, then turn around and say you're going to abandon him?"

He jumped up, grasping her shoulders and turning her to face him. "He's abandoning me. And the Jedi. Just to give in to some sexual predator. You don't understand him, Padme. He's stronger than this, and nothing else in the galaxy bothers him."

She gave him that arch look again. "Really? So he isn't bothered by his master's death? He wouldn't care if the Jedi fell apart? Or the Republic destroyed? And if you died, are you saying he wouldn't care about that, either?"

He stared at her, then spun away. "Good night, Senator." He strode from the room.

Padme ran to the doorway and watched him go outside. She entertained the thought that he might go looking for Obi-Wan, but then she sighed. Maybe he would do that at some point, if she kept working on him, but right now, he couldn't see past his own anger to the needs of his master.

oOo

Yoda's eyes were intense. "Blind we are if creation of this clone army we could not see." He sent out the truth of this through their bond and released his fear as it rose. In his mind's eye was Woda, and all the other younglings he worked with each day. Then this image passed, to be replaced by Jedi- hundreds of them- that had worked through Temple and were now padawans, knights, and masters. Under his simple statement flowed this knowledge: the time of the Jedi was coming to an end. The Force had chosen which way it was going to go out of balance; the Dark Side would rule for a time. How long that time might be- a day, a hundred days, fifty years- no one could know. But the rise of the Dark Force was nearly a sure thing, as much as anything could be sure.

Mace bowed his head, and in that simple act Yoda saw all his lover's grief and understanding. "I think it is time we informed the Senate our ability to use the Force is diminished." The man's eyes fixed on a point only he could see.

"Only the Dark Lord of the Sith knows of our weakness. If informed the Senate is, multiply our adversaries will." Which Mace knew, but it was his duty to promote truth always, and so he had spoken to Yoda what they would have done in better times. "Hmmph," Yoda muttered. "Better times there cannot be while diminished our abilities are. Dark times are coming, and powerless to push them back the Jedi are. Too few of us there are, and not ready for what lies ahead."

"Our decision to change how we do things came too late," Mace said. "Many of our decisions have been too late." His hands fisted for a moment, then he breathed, and they relaxed. "How long has the Dark Side been building, hidden by its very growth?"

"Answer that we cannot, and a distraction it is. Grown it has, and now decide what to do we must."

"The plan for the protection of the younglings has to go forward, but we need to start thinking of the padawans. If their masters die, or they die…" Mace sighed, and, through the Force, Yoda felt his agony. "Should we send the padawans with the younglings? And how many Jedi should we send to watch over all of them?"

"The more together there are, the easier to detect they will be."

"So we can split them up."

"Retreat yet we cannot. Ready soon the Chosen One might be."

"And if he's not the Chosen One?"

"No longer the luxury of doubt we have. Our faith in Anakin must be." Yoda closed his eyes for a moment, sending a picture to Mace. He remembered laying Anakin in Shmi's arms, every fiber of his being telling him that he couldn't leave his son to be raised as a slave. And the Force telling him the same. But his heart argued that here was the only way to protect Anakin from his fate. _Wish I could have saved you I do, _he thought at the memory. His son's eyes had fixed on him as the woman took him into her arms, and Yoda had been afraid Anakin would cry. But the boy hadn't. Instead, he lifted a hand, closing and opening it. Yoda's robes had moved, drawn forward by the Force controlled by the little child. _Love you I do, _Yoda had thought, and though he hadn't been able to speak, he was sure Anakin had heard.

Mace wiped at a single tear that had escaped his eye. He folded his hands together and leaned forward. "He isn't ready to handle all that's going to be put on his shoulders. He's still a padawan himself."

That was true, and though Yoda knew it, he also knew that the Force wanted Anakin to live and to succeed. There wasn't to be another Chosen One. "Hasten his training we cannot. When ready for the Trials he is, go through the Trials he will. Time to change our methods it is not, because too late it is, and because worked the methods have. Hundreds of living Jedi to that fact do attest." Yoda thought about getting up and moving into Mace's arms, but just then he didn't think he deserved the comfort. The galaxy was darkening, and though the Force spoke to him and told him it could be years yet before the final decline occurred, he felt the press of time very heavily upon his shoulders.

And he felt something else, a premonition, though he didn't put his full trust in such things. Though they weren't at the end of their story yet, the close of a chapter was upon them. Death was coming, and if they weren't careful, it would be a death that would tear the Jedi apart. Yoda wondered if it would be the death of a few, perhaps some of those on the Council, perhaps his own death, or Mace's, or the deaths of many. Unable to answer that, he set it aside. Mace would know what he knew; they would face the end of that chapter together. Until then, they couldn't do anything but go forward as they had before.

"Currently, eighty-nine younglings we have."

"We could send them back to their families. They would be safe there." But Mace was only grasping at straws.

"If sent them back we did, questions that would raise. Train them to find strength in the Light Force we must. The only way that is."

"Then we really can't do more than we're doing already." Mace bowed his head again and sorrow engraved deep lines in his face. "We've come to the time that was prophesied almost a thousand years ago, and we couldn't see it coming."

"Said something to me once Obi-Wan did," Yoda murmured. "Eight years ago this was. 'Anakin's skills have made him arrogant,' he said, answered this way I did: 'A flaw more and more common among Jedi that is. Too sure of themselves they are. Even the older, more experienced Jedi.' Speaking to him I was, because Qui-Gon's defiance I could still see in him. But I know now that speaking also to myself I should have been. Arrogant we have all grown, and made the words of the Sith true we have: complacent those in power become, even those that seek the Light Force."

"Those words were always true," Mace said. "We didn't heed the warnings, but it's too late to do so now." He sighed. "Now that we know the end is coming, what do we do?"

"Prepare we must." Yoda pushed himself off his cushion. "Seventy-nine younglings. Seventy padawans. Two hundred thirty knights. Three hundred twenty-one masters." He leaned on his gimmer stick. "Death to all of them must not come. Protect them we must if protect them we can." He didn't pace, but turned to the shaded window and let in the light. Gazing outside, he said, "Find places for the younglings to go we must. At least twenty places, places where unlikely they are to be found."

"The Agricorps can't help us," Mace said.

"No. Because Force-sensitive they are, perhaps destroyed they will be." Yoda frowned and followed a racing speeder with his eyes. "Other worlds we must speak to. Ones that will keep our secret and give a good home to some of our younglings and padawans." He sighed. "Help the Wookies will."

"The Correllians, though they might be too close to Coruscant."

"Hide some younglings right under the Dark Lord's nose we will be able to. If gains power he does, concerned about keeping it he will be. Let a few hide in plain sight he will."

"Then we should even try here on Coruscant."

Yoda nodded. "Also on Fregala. Won a loyal partner in the fight against the Dark Force we did."

"Rept'thik. Naboo. Alderaan."

Yoda nodded. "All good suggestions these are. Set about investigating them we should."

"Will we tell the rest of the Council?"

"The time for secrets among ourselves passed has, if ever truly existed it did." Yoda turned to face his lover. "Protect many we will be able to, but hope we must also not lose. Though rising the Dark Force is, its victory for only a day might be."

Mace nodded. "But that doesn't mean we don't prepare." He extended a hand, but for the moment, Yoda stayed put.

"Consider also we should which Jedi to put in charge of the younglings." He gazed at Mace's hand. "United we all are against the Darkness, but soon the time will come when choose we must who will hide and who will fight."

"Do you want to protect Obi-Wan?"

Yoda's eyes darkened. "I wish possible that was. But in the middle of the fighting he is going to be. The Force speaks to that. 'In the middle of peace he was, and in the middle of war he will be.' Know I do not if 'war' means war with the Separatists, or war with the Dark Side."

"But he can't be protected." Mace sighed. "I wish he could. He would have made an excellent leader of the younglings."

"True that is, but in another direction his destiny lies. And many there are that talented with younglings have always been. Consider them we will."

Mace extended his hand again, and when Yoda didn't take a step, he said, "Please."

Yoda acquiesced, sitting on Mace's lap and snuggling close. "End tomorrow the world will not. Take the pleasure I am given today I should." He closed his eyes. "If forget I do again to still see the beauty and life around me, remind me will you?"

"Yes, as long as I don't forget."

"Help each other we will."

oOo

Anakin sensed Padme standing behind him, but for a moment, he only watched the lightening sky and breathed, reminding himself where he was and who he was: Anakin Skywalker, son of Shmi. Wasn't that truth more important than the fact that he was a Jedi, that his master had surrendered to the Dark Side, if only insomuch that he was going to break? Yes, it was more important that he was being called home to Tatooine. And it didn't matter right then that he was a Jedi; nothing mattered but his mother's screams.

He wondered if the Force had lied to him, telling him that she wasn't hurt. Now when he reached out, he felt the Light Force telling him that she was dying, and also that he shouldn't go to her. He was too furious to listen to that second bit, and too frightened for his mother. Yes, the Jedi were supposed to give up all allegiance except to the Force, but he was different. He'd been with his mother for nine years; didn't she deserve his loyalty? Yes. She did. And the Force be damned.

He was slightly bothered by the thought that the Fore had lied to Obi-Wan, too. It was also expected that the Force would lie to him: didn't he still have trouble trusting it? But Obi-Wan had, up until very recently, given all his trust over to the Force. He didn't deserve to be deceived.

_Or maybe the Force knew he was going to surrender to the Darkness and saw fit to punish him. _He liked that idea, though he knew, in his heart, that the Force didn't work that way. Still, it was nice to think that Obi-Wan would be penalized for breaking. _I mean, why'd he have to break now? What did that man say to him? Or did the Darkness finally just take him over and destroy him?_

His heart ached, and he groaned. He hadn't dreamt only of his mother last night, and though he partially blamed Padme for raising doubts in his mind, he knew he was partly responsible for the dreams he'd had. He still loved Obi-Wan, even though he wanted to let him die or be a whore, whichever he chose. It would take a long time before Anakin could cut off his love completely and forget it. He thought this was probably part of the risk Jedi ran when they fell in love; having their loved ones betray them, and still being forced to find a way to continue.

Well, he didn't need to continue in the Jedi. Obi-Wan had betrayed him, given up, left him out in the cold. So, he could do the same. The Jedi didn't really need him, especially when he was so full of rage. Surely the Force couldn't use him as he was now, and wasn't he too old to change? He couldn't see a way past his anger, and thought that he'd turned from the Jedi path forever.

And now that he was off that path, not just stopped, as he had been for years, why shouldn't he go to his mother? She called to him, and now the Light Force was finally telling him the truth: she was hurting, dying. He wondered if the response from the Force had changed more recently; he hadn't checked in for three weeks, and maybe the Force would have told him the truth sooner if he'd asked more often. In Padme's apartment on Coruscant, when he'd told Obi-Wan the answer from the Force hadn't changed, he hadn't known for sure. He just hadn't checked. After all, why would the answer change? Wouldn't he have felt it change? Why did he have to be the one to ask? If he'd never asked, would the Light Force have kept the truth from him forever? Probably.

"Screw the Force," he muttered.

He sensed Padme backing away, and the need for comfort rose sharp inside him. "Don't go." He was still facing away from her, not sure he could keep the grief off his face any longer. He didn't want to frighten her. He thought he might have done that last night, and that just wasn't fair. Whatever she'd said, however she'd made him feel, she had also comforted him. He needed that again.

"I don't want to disturb you."

He took in a breath and released as much of his pain as he could; not much. "Your presence is soothing."

She didn't move closer, and he sensed the distance she wanted to maintain between them. "You had another nightmare last night."

He'd had one on the refugee ship to Naboo; how did she know about it? The lie rose to his lips as he struggled to remain strong in her eyes and in his own. Since he wasn't a Jedi anymore, not in his heart, he could lie a little. It wouldn't hurt, just this once. "Jedi don't have nightmares."

"I heard you."

Damn. He hadn't thought he'd been that loud. Or maybe she just had remarkable hearing. Well, now that he couldn't lie to her, what was left but the truth? "I saw my mother." His need to see her comforting gaze overruled his desire to hide his pain and he faced her. "She is suffering, Padme. I saw her as clearly as I see you now." Yes, and maybe even more clearly, because, in his dream, he'd seen his mother with the power of the Force, so that he'd been inside her head and also inside her body a little, enough to feel some of the pain. Not all of it; the Force allowed him to keep enough distance so he could think (a terrible taunt) but enough.

He paced away from her, seeking the calm Obi-Wan had always told him would be there when he reached out for it. The Force didn't answer his plea. He sighed, struggling to speak without his voice breaking. He could feel the press of tears behind his eyes, and he hated it. He didn't want to cry. Crying had never saved anyone from anything. "She is in pain." He turned and faced Padme, seeing her standing there like a statue of gentle trust and kindness and warmth. He wished he could hold her. "I know I'm disobeying my mandate to protect you, Senator, but I have to go." He thought, _And here's where I cut my ties to the Jedi Order, even if they don't know it yet._

He took two steps towards her, begging her to understand. "I have to help her."

Padme's eyes shone with unshed tears, and with resolve. If he had been able to love anyone besides Obi-Wan just then, it might have been her.

"I'll go with you," she said."

"I'm sorry," he said, struggling for a steady tone and failing. "I don't have a choice." _If I can't save Obi-Wan- and I don't want to save him, and I can't really, if he's broken- then at least I will save my mother._

_Don't go, _the Force whispered.

_Screw you._

oOo

As he swung out over the water, listening to the surf roar below, and to Jango Fett escaping somewhere above him, Obi-Wan had a vision. It was short, but detailed, and having had few visions, he was shocked at how much he could see and feel in only a few seconds.

A man in a black, tailored robe was speaking to him, and Obi-Wan knew him at once: _Master Dooku,_ he thought, then, _No. Count Dooku now. _The man hadn't changed much since the last time Obi-Wan had seen him. He couldn't hear what was being said, but he felt his need to answer grow. He was conscious that he couldn't sense the Force around him, and though he might have been tempted to panic, a sense of serenity dampened all his feelings. He was conscious of the stasis field, and felt when it disappeared.

Only when he could move did he realize he was naked.

_Force, no._ Obi-Wan tried to pull away from Dooku, but he couldn't move. He was speaking, and though he still couldn't hear what he was saying, he was conscious of the hope that the words would get through to Dooku before it was too late.

Dooku moved behind him, gripped his hips.

Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut in the physical world, trying to banish the vision. _I could let go, _he thought. _Death wouldn't be extremely quick, but it would come. I could be with you, Qui-Gon, even if I couldn't feel you, couldn't feel anything._

The vision wouldn't go. He felt Dooku enter him. _Please, no. Not again. _He could let go, he really could. Who would know? Sweet oblivion waited. And hadn't he given himself in the name of the Force enough times?

But the strength he'd gained on Dagobah came to his rescue, accompanied by an emotion he didn't recognize or understand. _No! Anakin needs me. _His longing for Qui-Gon rose, choking him. He remembered all the things he hadn't gotten to say, all the love he hadn't given. _But dying now wouldn't allow me to see Qui-Gon._

A more compelling truth came to him, and he grasped at it, needing to speak it. "And just because I'm ready (and I almost want) to become part of the Force, that doesn't mean I can give up my life and duties here. Rape or no rape, I won't leave this world. I promised the Force. And I promised Anakin." He thought of the violation that was coming- the vision had faded at last- and now he was able to truly feel the serenity that had been flowing through him even while Dooku touched him. No matter the pain he was going to endure, the Force would be there to tell him he wasn't suffering in vain. That was more than he'd ever had before, and he could now recognize the gift that was.

_All right, _he thought. _All right. I am a whore of the Light Force. I will-_

_Servant, _the Force answered, sounding frustrated. _Semantics don't count, usually, but you need to stop thinking of yourself as a victim._

Obi-Wan nodded, surprised, and comforted. _Servant then._

_Good. Don't forget._

Obi-Wan called on the Force, then swung inward towards a catwalk. He landed lightly and ran towards the building. He would come out on the top level. Maybe there was still time to stop the bounty hunter.

Promises

A disturbance rippled through the Force as Obi-Wan landed on Geonosis. He'd been thinking of the insane chase through the asteroids, but at once he gave over all thoughts of the past. Cutting the engines, he closed his eyes and gave himself fully to the Force. The answer to his unspoken question came almost at once: _Anakin is in danger. He is in pain and confused._

Obi-Wan knew he could touch Anakin's mind if he _reached_, but the Force surged around him.

_No, _It said. _If you contact Anakin, you will be discovered._

_There are Force-sensitives here? _Then, remembering the rape that might come, that he knew, in his heart, would come, _Is it Dooku?_

_You must not reach out to him. He must face this test alone. _

Obi-Wan's hands shook and he clutched the edges of his seat. He felt sick, and fear overwhelmed him for a moment. He struggled against it, and against the will of the Force. _Please…_ _I don't want to lose him. Don't ask that of me. Qui-Gon was enough._

_Will you follow me? _

What could he say? It was the Force that was asking.

Again, that wave of disturbance passed over him, and Obi-Wan winced. Now he could feel Anakin's rage. The need, not to just _reach_, but to go, abandon his mission, leave Fett to escape, was like a poison in his blood. He begged, _If I do what you ask, will you save him? Please? I love him. He's almost a son, a brother. I don't want to lose him. Haven't you taken enough from me?_

_Will you follow me?_

_First You ask me to whore for You- _He stopped. _Semantics._ He groaned. He knew the choice: he could either trust or not trust. There was no middle ground. He could leave his mission, which was important but not everything. He could disobey the Force that he'd sworn to follow forever, that sustained and guided him. Disobeying the Force was wrong in so many ways it hurt to think about them. Or he could obey, and trust. Not that the Force would save Anakin- It hadn't saved Qui-Gon- but that the Force knew what was best.

_Now come more of the doubts Qui-Gon said I never had. _He took in a breath. _Force, please give me strength._

_I am with you, Obi-Wan._

Obi-Wan left the ship.

oOo

Anakin wanted what he couldn't have: the best of both worlds. He wanted to have his secrets, and yet to have his motives always understood. And he wanted both his mother and Obi-Wan to be protected, but on his terms.

_Well, I can't have any of that, can I? No. _He sounded like a betrayed child, but he didn't care. His anger and confusion were warring and yet binding together as one.

He steered the sleek Nubian ship towards the place where he could make a jump to hyperspace.

Padme was silent beside him in the copilot's seat. He wondered what she'd thought of his long, confusing, tangled story. He almost hadn't known what to make of it himself, except he'd needed her to under two things: Obi-Wan had once been perfect in his eyes, no matter what he'd said to his master, and to himself, in the past, and now Obi-Wan was fallible. Now Obi-Wan wasn't really a Jedi anymore. He'd surrendered to the Dark Side, if only in this: he'd allowed himself to be raped. The difference between everything he'd suffered before and what he was going to suffer soon was this: up until now, he'd always fought. Anakin couldn't conceive of Obi-Wan going down without a fight, and yet he'd watched it.

Anakin glanced at her once, twice, then, after he'd made the jump, a third time.

She asked, not looking at him, "Yes?"

It was only then that he sensed more than her confusion. She was angry with him, and also, maybe afraid for him. He swallowed. "Nothing."

She turned towards him. "I know you're worried about your mother, and I understand that. But you need to let go of everything we talked about last night."

"Can you?" he asked, more curious than suspicious.

She sighed. "When you were throwing off two different signals the whole night? No, I don't know if I can, but I'm going to try. Your mother deserves our full attention." She glared at him. "But that also means you have to let go of whatever waterbug is bothering you. If you're angry with Obi-Wan, be angry, but just not now."

He opened his mouth to try and explain to her, but when she lifted her hand and held it between them, he was reminded of the brave and proud Queen she had been. He looked at the controls in front of him and reworked what he was going to say. "I want to try and explain, but you're right; now's not the time."

"On the other hand," she said, "I can continue to fly the ship, and you can go make your peace with what you see as Obi-Wan's failing."

"You _do_ understand."

"I understand you're refusing to see it from his side, if that's what you mean." She again held up her hand. "Don't explode at me. I can tell that's what you're about to do. Just go think about it. And while you're at it, think about this: would a man that you obviously adore, maybe even worship, a man who has never given in to the Dark Side in all these years, suddenly just give up? And if he did, was there a good reason for it?"

"What good reason?" he snapped, jumping out of his chair and starting out of the cockpit.

"Oh, I don't know," she answered. "Ask the Force. That's what Jedi are supposed to do, right?"

_I'm not a Jedi anymore. _But he wouldn't say that to her, mostly because she'd gotten him just right. He needed to devote everything he was to saving his mother, and to do that, he needed to be able to think straight. And if that meant relying on Jedi calming techniques that he swore he'd never use again, so be it. His mother was more important than any injured ego he felt at having to use the methods Obi-Wan had taught him one last time.

There were cots in the back of the ship. Anakin sank onto one of them, and was seized by a strong sense of déjà vu. He'd been on a ship like this, though heading towards Naboo instead of away from it, and he'd sat on a cot like this and talked to Qui-Gon about Obi-Wan. Now it was Obi-Wan's betrayal he wanted to forget.

Betrayal. He caught and held that word. One lesson Reeft had taught him was to analyze the words he used when he was angry. He hadn't practiced the lesson, but he could use it now. Who was Obi-Wan betraying?

_The Jedi. The Council sent him- when they could have sent a hundred other Jedi- to follow Jango Fett, and he failed them. He got himself captured- I can forgive that- but didn't even try to fight. How can he call himself a Jedi Master?_

The first reason rang hollow, and Anakin hadn't yet learned much about the fine art of self-deception. He sighed and cast this reason aside. He didn't care about the Jedi, except-

Except he cared for Obi-Wan.

_No I don't._

Fine. So he cared for Reeft, and for all the rest of the Jedi, even if it was only in a distant sort of way. And he wouldn't want any of them to be hurt by Obi-Wan's failure. Right?

He sighed. No. The Jedi weren't in any danger, not really. One bounty hunter could be tracked by any other Jedi.

_This is like one of those follow-the-clues logic tests I failed when I was fifteen._ He grimaced. _Great. _Still, he'd only flunked those tests because he missed Obi-Wan so much. He'd grown since then, and given up on his foolish childhood crush.

_Yes, _his heart told him, _it's different now. Now you love him as an adult._

_And he doesn't love me back._

Anakin cast that aside. _I don't care if he doesn't love me. I'm here to find out what's driving my anger and get rid of it so I can save my mom. Nothing else matters._

He had no fear for the Jedi. Was he afraid for Obi-Wan?

_No shit, _that same voice said.

_I'm not. Not anymore. He's chosen his path. He doesn't want to love me, but he'll let any Dark Force user with a dick rape him. And is it even rape if he gives in to it?_

Bile rose in the back of his throat, and he was awakened to the true power of jealousy. Had he thought he was jealous of the prince from Obi-Wan's past? Had he really been shocked at the intensity of that emotion? If he had, it was nothing compared to this. When he closed his eyes, he saw Obi-Wan giving himself over for nothing, to a man that _was_ nothing, as far as Anakin was concerned, and he thought, _What does Obi-Wan see in him that he doesn't see in me? _He knew at once that it wasn't the Darkness; no matter what he'd said to Padme or to himself, he knew Obi-Wan would never turn to the Dark Side. Maybe he would give in to a Dark Force user, give up fighting, maybe even enjoy the touching, but would he commit his life to the Dark Side?

_No,_ his heart said, and his head and soul agreed.

So, he was left with that unanswerable question: what did Obi-Wan see in an old rapist that he didn't see in his padawan? Surely not looks. Maturity? Was that it? No; there was no true maturity in the Dark Force, because true maturity was being willing to learn from others, to sometimes be able to swallow your own pride and follow instead of lead.

Stability? To the man who was raping him, Obi-Wan would always be a whore, never having to figure out where he stood. Tempting, but, again, no. Obi-Wan was many things, but afraid of the challenges of personal relationships he was not. Even as an inept padawan (Reeft had told him this much, and he'd come to believe it as fact) who knew little about how to deal with people, Obi-Wan was never afraid to try.

He wracked his brain for other reasons, but none came, and, eventually, Anakin was forced to acknowledge that a good deal of his anger came from the fact that he couldn't understand why Obi-Wan was going to do what he'd seen.

Jealousy. What a stupid, useless emotion. Anakin tried to just dismiss it as such- he felt so petty and so immature when he thought about it- but it wouldn't go quietly. He sighed. _Fine. It's not like I have the problem, anyway. It's Obi-Wan. He won't see what's right in front of him, but goes looking for others to satisfy the needs I could ease right here._

Doing his best to believe this, he released some of his anger, but the rest clustered around a truth he wasn't ready to acknowledge: as hurt as he was by Obi-Wan basically abandoning him for a quickie, he was more hurt by the thought that he might lose Obi-Wan forever. There was no way to know what sort of poison the rapist was using to fill his master's head.

But, as stated, Anakin couldn't acknowledge this. If he had, he would have felt young and defenseless, and men who felt like that didn't take off to save their mothers. And young men that felt like that didn't leave the protection of the Jedi, and the protection they'd come to depend on from the man they loved.

Realizing he couldn't release any more of his anger, and also hoping that maybe, somehow, he'd be able to use his anger (he _had_ left the Jedi path; couldn't some of the rules be broken now?) if not to find his mother, then to maybe punish those who had hurt her?

He refused to think what 'punish' might mean, but returned to the cockpit and presented a calm face to Padme. And if she wasn't fooled, he really didn't care.

oOo

He moved about the factory by a less-traveled upper catwalk. Below, he saw the massive droid army being built, and his insides shrank. Who was building them, and for what purpose? He doubted they were there to help the Republic. Thousands of droids could be made in a single day; what chance did the Jedi stand against so many? True, a hundred droids could be killed by one skilled Jedi, maybe even two or three hundred, but were there enough Jedi so skilled? He doubted it. And he didn't count himself in their number.

He kept moving. As he left the open factory floor, the Force called to him, telling him of the Dark presence approaching. He crept to the nearest corner, sensing the Darkness drawing close to that point, and pressed himself against the wall. He shielded his thoughts as best he could and thought in vain of that one Jedi who had been able to hide herself so successfully that all anyone could feel was the Force- not distinguished as Light or Dark, just the Force. Could his presence be felt as much as he felt the one drawing close to him? He let go of that thought; he would either be detected, or he wouldn't. There was nothing he could do about it. Still, if he escaped, he planned to learn her method, and teach it to Anakin and any padawans who wanted to learn.

"We must convince the Commerce Guild and the Corporate Alliance to sign the treaty."

Obi-Wan thought, shaken, _Dooku. So he is here. Force, if there's any other way, don't let him rape me. Please._

The Force didn't answer, but Obi-Wan set aside his fear. Another voice he recognized was speaking, and his jaw dropped as he listened to the words.

"What about the senator from Naboo? Is she dead yet? I am not signing your treaty until I have her head on my desk."

Silently, Obi-Wan drew even further back against the wall; the Gunray, his aide, and Dooku had turned the corner. They passed him, not even glancing at him as he became all but one with the wall. Their shadows passed over him, and he held perfectly still, not even daring to close his mouth for fear it would draw their attention.

"I am a man of my word, Viceroy."

"With these battle droids we built for you, you'll have the finest army in the galaxy," said a buzzy voice Obi-Wan didn't recognize, but he guessed, from the being's armor, that he was a member of the Techno Union.

The Trade Federation. The Commerce Guild. The Techno Union. Such civilized names for machines of destruction.

Obi-Wan let out a silent breath when they had passed, then followed them. He needed to know more. And if possible, he needed to find Jango Fett.

oOo

Anakin crept to the edge of the cliff that overlooked the filthy camp where the Force told him his mother was being held. His hands shook, but he forced them still. He knew she was there, waiting for him, and he knew she was still alive, but for how much longer? And would he be able to carry her out of here and to safety? And once he had her safely away, could he return and punish those who had taken her? Should he?

_Yes. I'm not a Jedi anymore. I can destroy them without worrying what Obi-Wan will say._

He grimaced because he didn't believe that, and he wanted to. Also, he was afraid what would happen to his relationship with the Force- weak as it was- if he did something like that. He wasn't a member of the Dark Force- he _wasn't_- and he refused to blur the line between Light and Darkness.

There were two animals fighting below him in the camp; their snarls carried up to him. The sound would mask his descent. Gauging the distance, he leapt off the cliff, the flapping of his cloak the only sound of his descent. He landed, light on his feet, and stole towards the camp.

The Force led him to one of the round hovels the Raiders lived in, and, aware that the snarling of the two fighting creatures would mask the hum of his lightsaber, cut a hole into the side away from the central clearing. With this done, he crept inside, deactivating his lightsaber and clipping it back on his belt. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her.

She was tied to a long, horizontal stick so that most of her weight was on her wrists. Looking at her, Anakin's stomach shrank and his heart burned. He thought, _Forget the Force. I won't need it to kill every single one of them. _He untied her.

Her weak moans tore at his heart, and whispered, "Mom. Mom," as he eased her down and turned her so she lay in his arms. The cut on her cheek was only one sign of all they'd done to her, and he vowed that, when he had her safely away, he would return and murder all the monsters here that passed for men. Let the women and children believe that attacking anyone would bring a similar punishment on them.

She reached up, only able to move her hand a little. He caught her hand gently in his, hoping she would feel the warmth of his touch and be comforted by it.

"Annie? Is it you?"

Her voice, so weak…. They would pay for this. They would pay for doing this to her. And the Force would pay for not warning him the first time he asked.

He heard a voice in his mind, and he couldn't be sure if it was his own thoughts, schooled in the ways of the Jedi, or Obi-Wan reaching out to him across the vast distance. _You need to let go of your anger, or she will feel it. And right now, all you want her to feel from you is love._

Concentrating not on her face, but on the buried joy he felt at holding her again, he was able to let his anger go. "I'm here, Mom. You're safe."

For a moment- such was the abuse she'd endured, and he had to release his anger again- she seemed not to know him, or at least, she doubted what she saw. "Annie? Annie?" Then she reached up, cupping his cheek, and for a moment, he heard in her voice a ghost of the happiness she'd once shown him every day. "Oh, you look so handsome."

A son's pride raced through him, but it was quickly blown away by his fear for her. In the Force, he could feel her weakening. He kissed the palm of her hand.

"My son," she murmured, her voice weak again. "Oh, my grown up son. I'm so proud of you, Annie." His name on her lips this time was little more than an expulsion of air. Her eyes were clouding over.

His voice rough, he answered, "I missed you."

She tried to smile, but didn't seem to have the energy. "Now I am complete."

The life force inside her was fading. The Force around her seemed to weep with the coming death. Anakin struggled not to clutch her against him. He thought, maybe, he could give her his blood, but, no. She wasn't Force-sensitive. It would do no good.

"I-" Her breath rasped, and the hand she'd brought to his cheek trembled.

He was crying, and he only hoped she couldn't see the tears. He didn't dare wipe them away, didn't dare take either hand off her. She needed his support. "Stay with me, Mom."

"I love…."

"Everything's-"

Obi-Wan's voice again, or maybe his own: _These are her last words. Let her speak them._

"I… love…" There was a pause, and for a moment, he ignored the Force and dared to hope that she would be able to bring herself back, that he'd be able to carry her out of here. Then she groaned, and with her eyes fixed on him, she released her last breath. She fell, limp, in his arms.

The spark that was her life force, her very soul, went out.

His breath came fast; it was loud in the silence her death left behind.

He called, not knowing why, _Obi! Obi! _Then his grief rose up, drowning him, and he fell into it. Staring at her, he caressed the soft curve of her cheek. She was still so beautiful, even after all they'd done to her. As if her spirit denied the physical world. He roused himself enough to close her eyes, and when she looked like she was sleeping, he reached out to the Force, praying he would feel her life force return.

It didn't come.

A cloak of fury descended over his grief, shielding him from it. Almost liberated by rage, he raised his head. Had he planned to kill only the things that passed for men here? Had he worried about the line between the Light Side and the Dark? None of that mattered now. He would kill, yes, and he would kill them all. Every one. Killers only married killers, only bred killers. Swift death would be the most merciful thing he could do, for them, and for Tatooine. He hadn't come in time to save her, but he would let all know that a Jedi's loved ones weren't to be touched.

Gently, so gently, he laid her down. He would return for her, but for now, he had work to do. He rose, whispered, "I'll be back, Mom," and left the round enclosure.

The two creatures were still fighting, and he killed them both with a single stroke. Ahead of him, a bantha sent up its stupid, bellowing cry. He approached it. Everything the Tusken Raiders were, everything they owned, would be destroyed. He relieved the beast of its head.

Then the men came out to see what the noise was. There were many, but he wasn't afraid. Rage flowed through him as the Light Force once had. He advanced, lightsaber held ready.

Three came at once, and he killed them as one.

_Anakin!_

He ignored the voice, though he knew now that it was definitely Obi-Wan calling him. More men came; he killed these as well, ripping one open from stomach to chin, and the other cut cleanly in half at the waist.

_ANAKIN!_

He threw himself at the rest of the men, and if he heard Obi-Wan's cry anymore, he gave no sign, or even registered the cry with a thought. A howl rose in his mind that was half rage, half grief. He'd lost the ability to know if the grief was Obi-Wan's and the rage his, or if all of the pain was his own.

When the men were dead, he went on to their mates and spawn.

oOo

Hidden from the room below, Obi-Wan had listened to Dooku's plans. It was now time to get back to the ship. But as he started to retreat, the Force spiraled up and up, screaming in his ears. He clutched his stomach and fell to his knees. Squeezing his eyes shut against the pain, he tried to hear what the Force was trying to tell him. At first, he couldn't hear words, or even know where the pain was coming from, there was so much of it. But then, gradually, an image formed in his mind's eye: a desert camp, night, approaching men with weapons. Obi-Wan recognized Tusken Raiders, and then he recognized the glow of the lightsaber that entered the image from the right. _Anakin, _he thought, but did not send.

With that thought, he was able to feel everything Anakin felt, and to know what had happened, though the Force gave him no details. He knew of Shim's death, and of Anakin's drive to kill. Focusing his mind as much as he could in the midst of so much pain, he sent, _Anakin! _He had to stop his padawan. Just as Qui-Gon had once thought of killing, when Tahl died, Anakin was standing on that ledge now. If he jumped…

_You have to let him fall, _the Force said. _If you don't, he won't develop the strength to pick himself back up._

_This isn't falling out of a tree! I'm not letting him fall to the Dark Side!_

_You'll be detected._

_So what? _He focused again, sensing that Anakin had already killed more than just animals, and shouted, _ANAKIN!_

He received no answer, and though the pain continued, he realized he was losing his ability to _reach_. The Force was clamping down on the range of his thoughts. _No! _he sent as Anakin killed another Raider. _NO!!_

A stinging blow snapped his head sideways, and just like that, the connection was broken. Obi-Wan blinked, felt the tears on his face. _I have to-_

_You must stop, or everything will be lost. The Senator will be killed- and she is meant to live. She is as much a part of my plan as Anakin. _

Obi-Wan didn't voice any complaint; he was in control of himself enough to keep silent. But when he tried to stand, his legs shook and he slumped against the wall. _I can't do this. Knowing he's killing, knowing, if I was there, if I could reach him-_

That sting again. _What makes you a great Jedi Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi?_

He thought to answer, _I'm not, _but the Force rose around him in righteous fury, and he had to reply, _I listen to You. _More tears trickled down his cheeks, but his legs were steadier. _Please, if you can save Anakin… _He let the statement go unfinished as he pushed himself away from danger and back towards his ship. But he sent one more thought: _I love him. If he's meant to live in the Light, let him come back to the Light._

oOo

Dooku's eyes narrowed. No one would see it; they were all busy celebrating their coming victory. Still, he composed his features at once, even as he read the waves that came through the Dark Force. Someone Light was near, and by the strength of the waves, that Light was very strong. Not Yoda; he knew his old master's strength. Another Jedi, one he knew dimly, one he thought he should know better. A powerful Jedi, so strong he was almost a threat to Dooku, though the Separatist leader sensed that 'almost' was the operative word, and that if he killed this Jedi now, then the threat would never rise.

_Yes, all that, _the Dark Force told him, in that way of telling that the Dark Force has of using the voice of the one it is speaking to. _And this also: if you kill this Jedi, Lord Sidious will be pleased and will promote you to the rank of Sith. He doesn't have an apprentice yet. _It was ridiculous, the idea that Dooku would again become a learner again, but he understood that, in the Dark Force, there had to be a master and an apprentice, and that the titles themselves didn't matter so much as the power each had.

He held up a hand, stopping the conversation. The others at the table looked at him, and he smile a little. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have an intruder. A Jedi is here."

Gunray looked nervous. "A Jedi? Now? How do we stop him?"

"It won't be difficult. I'll send some of our new droids to take care of him, and also some of our best fighters. He won't avoid them all." _And, _he thought, _I'll go myself, and keep out of sight until I'm needed. _He rose from the table. "I will return shortly, gentlemen. Continue your plans; I'm sure I will enjoy all of them." So saying, he strode gracefully- for that was how he always moved- from the room.

oOo

Sitting in the meditation room he generally shared only with Mace, bathed in the striped light that came through the blinds, Yoda felt the disturbance in the Force. He bowed his head. He felt Anakin's anger and grief, and also Obi-Wan's shock and need to be near his padawan. He didn't need to _reach_ to feel that Anakin had closed himself off to the Force, and what escaped to be felt by others were the padawan's strongest emotions. Just then, Anakin couldn't have been reached unless someone battered down his shields and filled him with Light. And at such a great distance, though Yoda could have broken through Anakin's shields and given him Light, the padawan was too surrounded and consumed by hate. Let his shields fall, and his rage might well devour the Light he was sent, and, having accomplished that, lead the boy to the thought that he didn't need the Light Force, that he was above the Light Force. Yoda wouldn't risk that.

Closer to hand, he sensed Mace enter their meditation room, and, turning his head slowly to meet his lover's gaze, he put up a partial wall in his mind, not to keep Mace out, but to indicate that he needed distance and didn't wish to be held just then.

"What is it?" asked Mace, his voice already tense. He felt the disturbance in the Force, and though he couldn't feel everything Yoda felt, he knew enough to realize how high the surge of the Dark Force was at that moment. If the Dark Force had been an army, it would have just struck a decided blow at the very heart of the Jedi Temple.

Yoda spoke the words, wondering if they would convey all he needed them too. Doubtful, and so he sent Mace the images he'd gleaned from Anakin's mind. "Pain. Suffering. Death, I feel." And, in both their minds, Anakin killed.

Mace bowed his head. The unspoken question passed between them: _How could he, the son of the Force, the Chosen One, do something so Dark?_

"Something terrible has happened," Yoda said, knowing that he'd already conveyed as much, but wanting Mace to understand the depth of it all, how their hopes for Anakin were being spat upon now, and how all of Obi-Wan's work with the boy seemed to have gone to waste. And, not above all, because that was the place of the Force, but just under it, was this: Anakin was falling, and they weren't near enough to help him.

Yoda steeled himself, tried to distance himself enough so he could separate his own grief from what the Force was telling him. "Young Skywalker is in pain. Terrible pain." And he wanted Mace to know that Anakin wasn't lost to them, that as much pain as the boy was causing, he also felt such pain, and that his anger was not a desire to kill for killing's sake, but that it came from pain that could, if given time and the right attention, be healed. Anakin could still be led back to the Light Force.

"I don't want to lose him either," Mace whispered. "What can we do?"

"Nothing now. Sense I do that see Obi-Wan he will before he sees us. Obi-Wan perhaps help him will."

Mace nodded, sighed. "He can still be helped."

"Yes," Yoda murmured. "Help him I must." He stopped, sighed, as Mace had, but also took a moment to release his own feelings. "Love him I do, and wish to heal him personally I do, but follow the Force I must." He closed his eyes, drawing the Force inward from all around him. "Meant to help in the healing perhaps I am, but the main instrument of it I perhaps am not to be. A change coming in his relationship with Obi-Wan I sense."

"He can't be Knighted soon."

"No. A different change." Yoda sighed as the images faded, as the Force settled. The killing was over, and though Anakin was still left with grief, and though guilt was forming, rising like a black wave, the violence was over. Yoda didn't struggle to keep the image in focus. He let it go and reached instead for Mace's thoughts. They sat in silence together for a long while, not even speaking mind to mind, then Yoda roused himself. "At his core, filled with Light Anakin is. But this Darkness presses in on him from the outside and he knows not how to defend himself, or to keep from feeding it." He drew in a breath. "Recover from this Anakin can, and healed he can be. Lose hope we must not."

oOo

He'd retreated to the workshop that Owen kept. The shop looked nothing like the one he used to have when he was young, and nothing like the one he kept at Temple, but he was surrounded by mechanical things, and so his hands were happy. He could fix anything. The machines seemed to respond to him, to respect that his were experienced hands; they just fell into their proper places and started working. He didn't smile at them, but he took comfort in the simplicity of fixing.

He sensed someone coming, and braced himself for the questions, even the innocent ones, that would come. He hoped it was Beru; Padme was too intelligent. She might see through his weak attempts at subterfuge and demand to know what had happened. He had no blood on his robes, but that was only because a lightsaber was mostly a bloodless instrument, not that it didn't cause death, but that it cauterized as it cut off. He'd never really watched that process over and over again until last night. He wondered if the burning hurt as much as the cutting, and he thought it probably did, if the person was alive after the cut. He hadn't let any of them live after the cutting/burning, and in that way, he tried to think of himself as merciful. Certainly they deserved more than he'd given.

He stopped his thoughts. They might rip him open, and he didn't want to lose himself in gentle Beru's presence.

"I brought you something. Are you hungry?"

Force, why did it have to be Padme?

He ignored her offer, and kept tinkering with the safe machinery in front of him. "The shifter broke," he said, thinking he would give an excuse for being here. But then his tongue had to betray him. "Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things." He swallowed, continued, "I'm good at fixing things, always was." Her silent presence as she turned to set the food tray aside drew on him, just like- _No. Forget him. _"But I couldn't," he said to stop that thought.

Then his mother's visage, beautiful, alive eyes in a dying face, swam before him and he didn't need to work to forget. He raised his head, catching Padme with his gaze. "Why'd she have to die?" _Why did the Force let her die? _was a question, but it wasn't the real question. _Why did _anyone_ have to die? _was much closer.

He let out a frustrated breath. "Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have." He turned from the engine he was working with. Real life had intruded on his fixing, just as it always had. He took several steps away from the machine and from Padme, trying to get control of his anger. But he couldn't. It rose.

Padme said, "There are some things nobody can fix. You're not all-powerful."

"Well I should be." Then his mother would have lived. If only he'd been strong enough in the Force to call her back, or if he'd come in time, she would still be alive. Hurt, yes, resting, yes, recovering, but still alive. He realized his anger was being lifted up, strengthened, by his grief. How far could grief take him, how strong could he become? He was crying, but he still spoke. "Some day I will be. I will be the most powerful Jedi ever."

Sensing Padme a few steps behind him, where he'd left her, sensing that her eyes were on him, he whirled, needing to make sure she believed him. His angel, at least, needed to believe him, and to know that he planned to save others. "I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying." There were ways; he knew of one. But it was for Force-sensitives only. He must find a way for everyone else. And he would. Because he could fix things.

She looked incredulous. "Anakin…"

He wanted to yell at her then, but he restrained himself. It wasn't her fault. She hadn't kept him from learning the things he needed to learn. He hadn't even learned that you could save a Force-sensitive from dying before Reeft told him.

His eyes narrowed. And when was the last time Obi-Wan had told him anything he could use to save the universe? "It's all Obi-Wan's fault," he said, turning his face from Padme so she didn't think he was yelling at her. "He's jealous. He's holding me back."

_He's the jealous one? _his heart whispered.

Anakin kicked a light wheel hub. _Shut up!_ But the voice had accomplished its goal; he turned back to the current source of his anger.

"What's wrong, Annie?" Padme's gentle voice drew the answer from him.

_She knows it's more than my mother's death._ Confronted with her knowledge, Anakin let go of his anger. Yes, he missed his mother, but that he might have been able to recover from, with lots of help. But he'd done something no Light Force user should ever do, and though he'd used his lightsaber to do it, it had been the Dark Force coursing through his veins.

His hands shook. Could he tell her all of it? Best to try and make it look like something he had to do. "I…" His voice faltered and he struggled to root himself in the physical world, to ignore the images that were flying before his eyes. "I killed them." Not enough; she needed to know how many. "I killed them all. They're dead." He turned to face her, afraid that she still wouldn't understand. If she understood, maybe she could save him from hiding in anger. He felt he was trapped in it, and soon, he might not be able to get out again. "Every last one of them." He was looking at her, and he saw shock in her eyes. Good. She was getting it. But there was more. "And not just the men." He moved towards her, feeling the Dark anger rising higher; soon he wouldn't be able to see a way out. But he kept going. "The women. And the children, too."

She didn't say anything.

He wasn't sure if he would have let her if she'd tried. One last truth had to be spoken. "They're like animals." He was crying again; grief winning out. But the anger rose; he would drown soon. "And I slaughtered them like animals. _I hate them._" He threw his anger out into the Force, and it was returned to him, just as strong.

Darkness was so close around him he could scarcely breathe. He sat down in the shadow of the engine he'd been working on, aware that he was trying to hide from her. She wouldn't want to help him now. He'd just driven away his angel.

He remembered the voice that had called to him when he started to kill- _Anakin! ANAKIN! NO!!-_ and he lowered his head. _Obi. I'm trapped. Help me._

The anger laughed at him. _Obi-Wan betrayed you. He doesn't want you. He wouldn't save you if he c-_

Padme had knelt beside him, and now she said, "To be angry is to be human."

Those simple words cut directly into the Darkness, letting in a beam of Light so large and so strong that it illuminated his whole heart. He gazed at her, so grateful, and though he wasn't able to speak of his fears, he was able to speak part of the truth: "I'm a Jedi." Yes, and he had never stopped being, he hoped. He hoped he'd only been a little off the path. He prayed he was back on it now. "I know I'm better than this." Better than the anger, better than the slaughter, better than his own demons and his own failures.

Knowing all this, he bowed his head, and cried. Not just for his mother, but for himself, for everything he'd almost lost, and for that part of his soul that he might never have again.

oOo

He listened to Lars speak about his mother. He hadn't spoken, hadn't been able to, and so her husband had done the eulogy. He was grateful to the family she'd found with her husband and her second son. She'd always said Anakin hadn't come from any man, and he'd often wondered what made her take pride in that saying. Now he was only glad that she had found a family, and that she'd seen him, before she died.

Much of his anger had faded, though he knew it would return if he didn't get some help. Padme had been there for him, and she'd helped him to cry, and some of his anger went with the grief, but now, reaching out to the Light Force again, he realized that his anger wouldn't go until he could truly take it apart, face the screams of the dying, and be helped through the dreams of them that would come.

And for all that, he needed Obi-Wan.

Lars stopped speaking, and Anakin moved to his mother's grave. He fell to his knees before her, and for a long time, he only listened. In the rasping wind, he seemed to hear her voice.

_Anakin… My son, I forgive you._

Tears were coming, but he held them back. There would be time to cry later. But when he tried to speak, she added, _And I give my blessing._

He blinked, shocked. Her blessing? On what?

He pushed those questions aside. He needed to apologize, one last time, even if she'd forgiven him. Once he rose from here, he knew he would be leaving Tatooine, that he would be going to his real mission, the one he'd had since Ragoon 6, when Qui-Gon asked him to be a guard. This had been a mission, too, but, having failed it, he couldn't fail his other mission. He told her this as best he could. "I wasn't strong enough to save you, Mom," he said. "I wasn't strong enough." He took a breath. "But I promise you, I will not fail again." And a Jedi always kept his promises.

Anakin stood. "I miss you." The anger was returning, but he willed it away, willing there to only be grief and purpose. "So much."

oOo

Watching Obi-Wan defend himself against blaster fire; listening to the sound of the lightsaber humming, then stop humming. It could have been because the transceiver was destroyed, or because Obi-Wan was hit and dropped his weapon. No way to know.

Anakin reached out to the Force, and was told that Obi-Wan lived still, but- Anakin's stomach shrank- at least one of the blaster bolts had connected, and Obi-Wan was in pain. Anakin knew his master could still fight through pain; he'd seen it often enough. Obi-Wan would reach out to the Light Force, and be strengthened.

_That's what I missed, _Anakin thought. _The Force could have been there for me if I'd listened. _He still didn't know how to resolve the death of his mother with the will of the Force, but he tried to think as a Jedi would, and hoped the questions would just go away. They could come back when Obi-Wan was safe.

_And after I help him. _Obi-Wan hadn't seemed broken in the transmission, but the reason for that was obvious: the rape/surrender hadn't happened yet. It would happen now that Obi-Wan had been captured.

Mace spoke over the link. "Anakin, we will deal with Dooku. The most important thing for you is to stay where you are. Protect the Senator at all costs. _That_ is your first priority."

_You expect me to just leave him there? _But it was at least half his fault for not going after Obi-Wan as soon as he'd experienced the vision. He might have been able to prevent this. And now, a Council member, who was supposed to be more connected to the Force than he was, had ordered him to stay put. "Understood, Master." Maybe if he did as he was told this time, Obi-Wan would be saved. After all, the Council wouldn't just send a few Jedi; they could feel the danger as well as Anakin could, and would send many. Maybe even Mace and Yoda would go. Wouldn't it be better if he stayed here?

He didn't believe it for a moment, but trusting the Dark Force once, and having it fail him, made him cautious. The last thing he wanted to do was break the promise he'd made to his mom, or the long-ago promise he'd made to Qui-Gon, or the promise he'd made to himself. He wouldn't let Obi-Wan break. He wouldn't. And if Obi-Wan broke anyway, he would show him that he, Anakin, was better than any Dark Force user.

_Not the right reason to want to save him, _his heart whispered.

_Fine. I love him. Is that the right reason? I still love him, no matter what he does. Doesn't mean I understand him, doesn't mean I'm not going to chew him out when I see him, but I want to save him._

_Yes, _his heart answered, and Anakin sensed that it wasn't just his heart, but the Force, _that is enough._

Padme said, cutting into his thoughts, "They'll never get there in time to save him. They have to come halfway across the galaxy. Look." She turned to the navigational computer and tapped it. "Geonosis is less than a parsec away."

"If he's still alive." Anakin wasn't sure why he'd said that; he could feel Obi-Wan was still with them- the pain that frayed at his nerves attested to that- but he was also afraid she would convince him to leave Tatooine. He didn't dare. Not after his last mistake had brought Obi-Wan to this. And yet, he wanted to be convinced, so maybe that's why he was baiting her. He could rely on her temper to lay his needs bare.

"Annie, are you just going to sit here and let him die? He's your friend, your mentor-"

"He's like my father." Force, if that was only true, then maybe this would be easier. Annoyed with himself- why couldn't he just tell her the truth? She'd helped him with so much- he said, "But you heard Master Windu. He gave me strict orders to stay here."

"He gave you strict orders to protect me. And I'm going to help Obi-Wan." Her hands were on the controls; she coaxed the thrusters to full power. "If you want to protect me, you'll just have to come along."

His heart soared. Decisions like that were why she was his space angel. He remembered certain friends Obi-Wan had outside the Order: Dex, Didi, Astri. He'd always wanted friends like that, and he'd been slightly jealous that withdrawn Obi-Wan had gained such devoted friends. But now it looked like he'd gained his first one. Grinning, he vowed to repay her kindness and her clear-headedness with truth.

As the ship started to take off, he took his seat. He acknowledged that the droids had followed them onto the ship, and though he was glad R2 was there, he wondered why C3PO had joined them. Well, nothing to worry about. The two would just stay on the ship. They'd be safe enough. And no one needed a protocol droid on Tatooine.

As the ship cleared the atmosphere, he said, "I need to tell you something."

She plugged in the coordinates for the hyperspace jump. "Yes?"

He sensed she was ready for anything. _Well, I'm not sure you'll be ready for this. _"I'm in love with someone. And I might have given you the impression that it was you."

She frowned, then hit a button. The ship leapt into hyperspace. She turned in her seat. "Yes, once or twice."

_Damn. _He swallowed. "I didn't mean to. I am in love, but…" Her eyes were so intense; he wondered if he could do this. "But not with you."

She nodded. "I figured that out."

He relaxed a little. "Good. I'm sorry if I-"

"So who do you love?"

He blinked at her, surprised at the strength of her desire to know. He could almost feel it through the Force. He braced himself for her reaction. "Obi-Wan."

Her eyes widened, then she frowned again. Showing her senatorial discretion on top of her politician's need-to-know, she didn't speak for several minutes.

He wondered what she was thinking.

When she at last spoke, her words startled him, as did her meditative tone. She didn't sound shocked, just curious. "But I thought the Jedi weren't allowed to love." She held up a hand. "And don't tell me about that whole compassion-as-love business; that's a big stretch."

He grinned at her, then told her of the Council's recent decision. This done, he sat back and waited for her reaction.

"Then you're not really mad at him." She nodded to herself. "I didn't think you were, but the strength of your words…" She laughed. "I should have known. Only a lover's passion can raise so much unjust anger."

He gaped at her, and she laughed harder. When she'd controlled herself enough to listen, he said, "I was unfair. It's just that… I do hate what he's going to allow to happen to him."

She sighed. "Are you still sure he's going to completely surrender?"

He nodded. "He's going to be broken." A sheet of ice formed under his skin. "I only hope they don't have to torture him to bring him to that point. Anything they do through rape I can undo, because I've helped before, but I don't know how to help him through torture."

"Maybe it won't come to that," she said. After a five-second silence, she asked, "Does he love you back?"

He had expected her to ask this, but not so soon. He'd been planning how to explain things, and her words jarred him. He glanced at her, wondered if could make the admission, then looked away, deciding he could admit it to the console in front of him. "No. He loved Qui-Gon. That's why I asked you not to talk about Qui-Gon around him. He was still suffering."

She murmured, "Then you have to tell him."

"I will, I will. I just have to find the right time."

"No time like the next time you see him. Unless you're both fighting and there's no time for talk-"

"I could tell him through our bond. It's silent. No one would know."

"Then tell him even when you're fighting!" She shook her head. "Anakin, I've blown off love before. Paolo wasn't the first one, and he certainly wasn't the last. I've wasted times when I could have been with someone. In the name of my career, I wasted them." She sighed. "Don't make my mistake. Tell him. There's more joy to be gotten from falling in love and having a family than all the political changes and-" she smiled- "aggressive negotiations in the galaxy."

She didn't understand that Obi-Wan might not be ready, but he didn't tell her that. She understood what was most important, something he'd come to know on his own, despite the reticence of all Jedi, Obi-Wan included, to acknowledge it: love was just as strong a shield against the Darkness as Light. And with that truth, he would heal Obi-Wan.

And as for his own healing? He blew it off for now. Let him save Obi-Wan first; maybe by doing that, he could let his anger go. Just like when he was fourteen.

But in the back of his mind, or maybe it came from outside him, a voice said, _You killed in anger. You must seek help before it destroys you._

oOo

Chancellor Palpatine wanted to laugh when it was suggested that he be voted emergency powers. _And there's no Kenobi here to gainsay me. _Months ago, he wouldn't have believed that Obi-Wan was in any courageous enough to take on the head of the Senate, but the young Jedi had proven, again and again, how much his time away from Temple had changed him.

_It's too bad we didn't find him when he was defenseless. _Still, the Dark Force assured him, Kenobi wouldn't bring an end to his plans. He could only delay things, cause little disturbances. In the end, the Darkness would prevail.

Still, having Kenobi gone, possibly dying, if Fett had done his job properly, was a welcome change. _If he doesn't die during this mission, I'll find a hundred others to send him on, just to keep him out of my hair._ He'd sensed Obi-Wan's growing dislike of him, and because dislike, for most Jedi, wasn't based simply on a personality conflict, Palpatine had to conclude that Obi-Wan was starting to understand who and maybe even possibly what the chancellor was. He tried to tell himself that he was giving the Jedi master too much credit, but it was always better to overestimate an opponent than the reverse. If Obi-Wan knew nothing and just didn't like politicians, so much the better. But he might just feel something about Palpatine.

Since even Yoda knew nothing, Palpatine doubted Kenobi had a clue, but it never paid to take chances.

Well, for now, he could work his destruction in peace. _The best way to get power is for others to offer it to you, then accept 'temporarily' and 'humbly'. _

Would the Jedi Council suspect anything? _If they don't, it is proof that they still trust me. And if they do, I'll know to cover my tracks well. _

oOo

Kneeling in the garden outside S'ban's house- _Force, when can I leave? Yet not my will, but yours be done- _Qui-Gon clapped his hands to the sides of his head. A scream loud as a crashing wave ripped through his head. Then it was muffled. He closed his eyes and followed it. Following was a risk, but he needed to know, even if seeking put him in danger. He was well enough to leave now, or nearly.

_Fine. I won't be ready to stay out of bed for extended periods for another week, but I'm healing! _He sighed, wondering where his hard-learned patience had gone.

Well enough or not, he'd recognized that cry: Obi-Wan was in pain. Where was he? Why had the cry been muffled? _Reaching, _(yes, the Force had taught him that technique while he lay motionless in bed, though he hadn't given it a field test before now) he sensed first the Darkness, then, dimly, Obi-Wan. Why dimly?

But the Force had answer: Obi-Wan was wearing a Force collar.

_But then I shouldn't be able to sense him at all._

_Force collars work to mask the Light of most Jedi, but you have learned to sense even a sliver of Light. And Obi-Wan has learned how to project a little beyond the collar. Not enough to move things in the physical world, but maybe to touch a heart._

_Where is the Darkness coming from? It feels familiar. _But even before he'd finished 'voicing' this, he had his answer. He'd worked beside the man for over a decade; how could he not recognize him? _Master Dooku. _He shook his head. _Count Dooku now._

_Quiet, _the Force said, _and listen._

Qui-Gon did, tilting his head a little. He didn't hear words, but a flood of emotions. He thought he might have to untangle them, but he could very easily tell which emotions belonged to Obi-Wan and which belonged to Dooku by simply feeling the intensity. Obi-Wan's emotions came through in little eddies; Dooku's were a torrent.

He felt _pain/FRUSTRATION then, forced: ALOOFNESS/reaching, giving… something; not comfort; maybe Light?/CONFUSION, ANGER/_a thought, faint as a clock chiming far away, but clear: _there is healing in the Light Force/MURDEROUS RAGE,_ _or something quite close._

Qui-Gon was forced back. _Wait! What is he doing to Obi-Wan? If he's hurting him, I have to-_

_You have to stay here._

Qui-Gon groaned. _I will do as you say, but if Obi-Wan is being hurt, he can't come for me._

_True._ The Force receded, making clear its intention not to speak with him further.

Qui-Gon sighed as he came back to himself. He was conscious that his heart ached for Obi-Wan, and he stood, one hand drifting up. _Be strong, Obi-Wan. The Force will sustain you. I promise._

He knelt again and closed his eyes, giving himself up o the Force immediately around him, immersing himself in the life force of the plants. But he vowed, _When I see Obi-Wan again, I am going to teach him the secret of the Whills._


	34. On Geonosis

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone. Sorry this took so long. I'm still getting over being sick. I've spent more time in bed in the last two weeks than I probably have in the month before that. For those of you who asked: Anakin hasn't dealt yet with the fact that he was raped, but that's coming- fair warning (major issues). I'll do my best to post two chapters this coming Sunday. May the Force (and NyQuil) be with you.

On Geonosis

Beyond the vision of Dooku, which had claimed most of his attention, Obi-Wan had thought he was imprisoned in a cavern, but when he regained consciousness, he saw the built walls of a made room. At once, he understood that the vision had used the cavern and its dimness to convey the Darkness that hovered everywhere. Interpretation of visions was generally left to Council members, but Obi-Wan felt sure in his understanding because he felt it coming straight from the Force. He hadn't had to make the leap between the literal and metaphorical; the bridge had already been built. He simply walked across.

If he had been the self-congratulatory type, he might have enjoyed this new skill. And if the Force had allowed him to remain self-abasing, he might have doubted the ability. But now he began to see and count the skills the Force had given him along with those he'd developed naturally as a way to know what weapons and defenses he had against the coming Darkness.

Obi-Wan tried to move, but found at once that he was imprisoned by a stasis field. He reached out with the Force, only to find that his ankles and wrists were encased in Force-inhibitors. He could, if he was left alone for a while, find the back doors, so to speak, where the Force could slip in and open each inhibitor.

"Better get to work," he muttered. The question of all Anakin had endured still weighed heavily on his mind, and he knew the time would come when he would have to sit down with Anakin and try to sort things out. _It's going to be hard on me, and harder on him, but it has to be done. _Then, like seeing the proverbial bantha in his quarters- how could he have missed it for so long?- Obi-Wan whispered, "We haven't gone in and taken care of his boxes. Force, how could I let that go for so long?"

He let go of self-recrimination- it wouldn't help just now- and reached out for the inhibitor on his right wrist. He touched the inhibitor and began his quest. Then, shocking in its intensity, the Light Force trilled in his mind, warning him of someone's approach. Someone dangerous. At once, Obi-Wan drew back into himself, wanting to appear as helpless as possible.

The man that strode into the room, calm and collected, put a sheath of ice under Obi-Wan's skin. _Dooku. So, it's going to happen now. Force, if it is your will, keep him away from me._ Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. "Traitor."

"Oh no, my friend."

_You're no friend of mine. You touched me!_

Obi-Wan blinked, shocked at the strength of his own fear and hate. _I can't hate. Force, be with me._

"This is a mistake," Dooku said. "A terrible mistake. They've gone too far. This is madness."

No way to read the intent in Dooku's tone or expression, and Obi-Wan remembered the sincerity in Dooku's voice when he'd talked of communing with the Force through touch. _Force, please, I will do as you ask, but if you can-_

_Focus, _the Force whispered.

Obi-Wan willed his voice to be as calm as his captor's. "I thought you were the leader here, Dooku."

"This had nothing to do with me, I can assure you."

Dooku was pacing around him, and the stasis field, though moving, turned at its own speed, so that sometimes Dooku was behind him. Obi-Wan had to resist the urge to crane his neck so he could keep the man in sight at all times. Instead, he restricted himself to a full head motion of twenty degress. Any more, and his anxiety would have come through.

_Why anxiety? _the Force asked. _I am with you always. And I have work for you to do here._

Obi-Wan sank into half-meditation for a breath, releasing his fear of being taken into the Force. He came up in time to hear the last of Dooku's words.

"…have you set free."

"Well, I hope it doesn't take too long. I have work to do." The Force surged within him, giving him composure and strength for the battle of words ahead. He thanked It, then attended to Dooku's words.

"May I ask why a Jedi Knight is all the way out here on Geonosis?"

'Knight'. Not 'master'. A slight, but one he could ignore. It was petty. Obi-Wan wondered for an instant if he should state his business, but then realized that the Dark Force all around him, some of it residing in Dooku, was tempting him to lie. He said, "I've been tracking a bounty hunter called Jango Fett." He met Dooku's gaze. "Do you know him?"

Dooku stepped away from him, so that Obi-Wan couldn't see his face. "There are no bounty hunters here that I'm aware of. The Geonosians don't trust them."

Again, Obi-Wan had to resist the urge to turn his head. "Well, who can blame them? But he is here, I can assure you." Obi-Wan resisted another urge: the urge to skip all this idle sparring and find out what exactly Dooku was planning to do with him. He hadn't believed the promise of being set free for a moment, but he longed to know Dooku's intentions. One thing he'd come to loathe about the Senators was their endless dancing about the true issues. And it seemed Dooku, even in his desire to be away from the Republic, was following their example.

_Loathe is a strong word, _he thought. _I need to be mindful of my anger. _He breathed in and out soundlessly, releasing his frustration and the fear that had crept back in while the two of them talked. He committed himself as wholly as he could to the will of the Force: _Not my will, but Yours, be done._

"It's a great pity our paths haven't crossed in many years, Obi-Wan."

_Not a pity for me. _Obi-Wan groaned silently. How could his fear still be strong enough to spawn sarcasm? Again, he reached out to the Force.

Dooku continued, "Qui-Gon always spoke very highly of you. I wish he were… still alive."

_A calculated pause. He's trying to hurt me. _The sorrow rose, but Obi-Wan released it more easily than he had his anger.

Abruptly, the shield Anakin had helped build in his mind fell.

_Move on._

Dooku said, "I could use his help right now."

Anger surged in Obi-Wan, buoyed up by fear. The return of that voice on top of Dooku implying that Qui-Gon might have helped him… His head snapped to the left a full forty-five degrees. "Qui-Gon Jinn would never join you."

_Move on._

_Leave me alone. _A breath. _Please._

"Don't be so sure, my young Jedi. You forget that he was once my apprentice, just as you were once his. He knew all about the corruption in the Senate, but he never would have gone along with it if he had learned the truth, as I have."

_What truth can come out of your mouth? ... Force, help me._ "The truth?" Still, the sarcastic tone; he was losing himself, and he knew it. _Force, please._

_Move on._

_To what? _Obi-Wan cried. _Tell me!_

_Truth. Find the truth, Obi-Wan. You know where the truth is. Go to it._

Obi-Wan swallowed, closed his eyes, not caring how he looked to Dooku. Let the man draw his conclusions. This was more important. _The truth is in the Light Force. Always has been, always will be._

For the moment, the voice in his mind was silent.

"The truth," Dooku said when Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He'd seemingly been waiting. And the solicitous way he did this put Obi-Wan even more on his guard.

Dooku continued, pacing away from Obi-Wan once more, "What if I told you the Republic was under the control of a Dark Lord of the Sith?"

"No. That's not possible. The Jedi would be aware of it." Even if the Darkness made things harder to see, how could a Sith hide in their midst? Even if he wasn't hiding in the very Temple, if he was in the Senate, surely he would have been detected.

And yet, his mind went back to the clone army he'd seen. He resolved to discuss it with Yoda.

"The Dark Side of the Force has clouded their vision, my friend."

'My friend' again. This time he was able to let it not even touch him. He sensed the Light Force building inside him, preparing for something. Not a physical attack, he thought, but another battle of words. Maybe even a war.

"Hundreds of Senators are now under the direct control of a Sith Lord called Darth Sidious."

"I don't believe you."

"The viceroy of the Trade Federation was once in league with this Darth Sidious."

_Something the Jedi guessed long ago; why else would Darth Maul have been on Naboo?_

"But he was betrayed, ten years ago, by the Dark Lord." Dooku was meeting his gaze now, and his sense of sincerity was even stronger. "He came to me for help. Told me everything."

_Season a big lie with small truths, _Obi-Wan thought.

Dooku leaned forward a little. "You must join me, Obi-Wan," he said, his eyes intense and his voice impassioned. "And together, we will destroy the Sith."

Would a Dark Force user say something like that? Yes, he might. Words were cheap. "I will never join you, Dooku."

Dooku turned away, started from the room.

_Maybe the rape I felt was only the Force's way of showing me this temptation and struggle, _Obi-Wan thought. _Maybe…_

The man turned back, and there was a Force collar in his hand. He moved towards Obi-Wan again.

_Reach out, _the Force said, _and I will give you the words to use._

_Your will be done. _A sense of peace, strong as it had been at times on Dagobah, filled Obi-Wan, and he met Dooku's gaze without flinching.

oOo

When he'd first entered, Dooku had found himself thinking of the last time he'd seen Obi-Wan, but not about the touching he'd been led to by the Dark Force. The Dark Force had called him to touch the boy; he had, not questioning. But now, it was Qui-Gon's face that held his attention. Qui-Gon had appeared, seeking for Obi-Wan, not knowing what the boy had looked like, and Dooku had told him the boy in the bed was not the one he sought. That had been the first time Dooku lied to his former apprentice, and though it had only been one of three times he had lied to Qui-Gon, it stood out in his mind like a sore on his hand: pulsing, festering, protesting any attempt to remove or heal it.

He'd lied to Qui-Gon twice the day he left the Order, but both of those times had blurred with the passage of time. Not so that first step, if not into Darkness, then away from his padawan.

Dooku called himself a fool all the way through the interview with Obi-Wan. He was unconsciously looking for Qui-Gon in the younger Jedi, and when he saw Qui-Gon's flashes of passion counterbalanced with Obi-Wan's own reserved personality, he longed for a final chance to win Qui-Gon to his side.

Casting this aside, he fed Obi-Wan knowledge that the young Jedi would surely dismiss. He did it not because he thought Obi-Wan would join him, but just to see how strong Qui-Gon had sewn his suspicions into his padawan. In short, he wanted to see how hard Obi-Wan would have to fight before finally refusing his offer.

And Obi-Wan did struggle; he saw it in the way the Jedi closed his eyes and breathed. He was surely calling on the Light Force for strength. But when Obi-Wan again opened his eyes, met Dooku's gaze, and said, "I will never join you, Dooku," the ex-Jedi realized that Obi-Wan hadn't been struggling against anything he'd said, or at least not wholly. He'd been fighting an internal battle whose outcome was much more important to him than anything Dooku could do to him. Looking into the green-blue eyes, Dooku realized that Obi-Wan could be defeated in battle or die, and still he would have lived his life devoted to the Light Force. Just like Qui-Gon, then, he was going to die without learning the truth. A pity.

Dooku turned for the door, conscious that he wanted Obi-Wan to call him back and say he would join the Separatists. He hated himself for that longing and that expectation, especially because he knew it would never happen. And he hated Obi-Wan for being so deeply cemented in his ways. It would be almost like losing Qui-Gon again when the younger Jedi was executed. Could he watch it? Yes; he would make himself. And hewould try not to see Qui-Gon's graceful movements in this other, try not to hear Qui-Gon's dying cry in Obi-Wan's final scream of agony.

His heart was filled with sudden conviction. He could make Obi-Wan not resemble Qui-Gon in any way. If he could break Obi-Wan- a thing that would never have happened to Qui-Gon- he could let the Jedi die without worrying that he might feel something. And he knew exactly how to break the young Jedi; the Dark Force had told him how to do it long ago; he'd only abstained from rape because he talked himself into thinking that touch would be enough.

Dooku knew everything, except that the Light Force and Dark Force, trying to accomplish different goals, were pushing him back towards Obi-Wan.

He flipped a Force collar out of his pocket. He always carried one; his master had suggested he do so. He watched Obi-Wan's eyes fix upon it, but he saw no fear in the man's eyes. Could it be Obi-Wan didn't know what it was? Unlikely, but possible. Qui-Gon had surely sheltered him more than most masters would have. He said, "This is a Force collar. Have you seen one before?"

"Do you miss Qui-Gon? He grieved when you left the Order. He always wanted you to return and be healed."

Dooku grimaced. Using the Force, he pushed the collar through the air until it closed around Obi-Wan's neck. "Even after he found out that I touched you?"

"Yes, because he still believed the Darkness wasn't strong in you. I believe the same."

Dooku moved his hand, calling on the Dark Force to surround Obi-Wan and remove his clothes. "Do you know why I'm doing this? Surely, if you are so wise, you will know."

"Your reason for doing it is because the Dark Force compels you. The Dark Force still believes I can be broken by rape."

The assurance and peace in the Jedi's voice galled him. Dooku sliced his hand through the air like a knife, and Obi-Wan's trousers fell.

"My reason for allowing this is because the Light Force compels me to speak. What you do while I speak is up to you. There was once a young padawan named Qui-Gon, and though he confused and frustrated his master, he nevertheless worked his way into his master's heart. He was more self-possessed than most padawans, and yet he learned more than most because he not only listened to his master, but to the world around him. Everyone he met taught him a lesson, even if it was only a small one. He learned how to draw out the best intentions of-"

With Obi-Wan completely naked before him, Dooku cut the stasis field, then wrapped a cord of Dark Force around the Jedi, drawing him forward. He expected resistance, and so pulled hard, but Obi-Wan walked towards him under his own power, walking at just the speed the Darkness pulled him. He'd kept talking through this whole maneuver, and now he said, "When I was old enough to accept what you'd done to me as a product of your time spent with the Dark Force, Qui-Gon told me stories of his time with you. He told me about the time you both rode the fire-breathing dra'ods. He was new to the concept of reaching out to such a fierce beast through the Force, but-"

Dooku loosened his robes. Surely this would shut the Jedi up.

"-you told him, 'Seek his mind with your mind, Qui-Gon. Feel his needs become your own, and your own become his. Find that spark within him that calls to you, and then you will be able to ride him.' He taught me, using those same words, and though-"

Dooku turned Obi-Wan, grasping his hips firmly. He was conscious of a ringing in his ears, and of something brushing at his mind, like a light, transparent curtain being blown back and forth across his face as he slept. He drew back from it, fortifying his shields. It followed him still.

"-I had trouble connecting with the Living Force in general, this was one task that came easily to me, because I trusted him, and, through him, the Light Force. The Darkness-"

Dooku pushed into him, and Obi-Wan gasped. But then he continued talking! Could nothing stop him?

"The Darkness calls for us to be alone, separated from all our friends and loved ones. No one can follow the Dark Force and also love those around him."

"What's the point of love?" Dooku demanded, putting the vehemence of his question into his attack. "All one needs is love for his own interests." He cursed his mouth; why must he speak? Couldn't he just hurt the Jedi in silence?

"Love- compassion- is what you always felt for Qui-Gon. You-" Obi-Wan grunted in pain- "feel it still, though he is gone." Again, he grunted, far back in his throat, and his muscles under Dooku's hands tensed, then relaxed. "No one can answer that question for you."

A pause, then, "The Light Force is so clear that with a deep connection, you can reach for miles, touch hearts half a galaxy away with the power of your mind. I was with Qui-Gon shortly before he died, though he was on one world, and I on another. We-" an agonized, wordless cry- "connected across hundreds of parsecs. The Light that connected us shone everywhere and made our mind-to-mind talk effortless."

He went on, talking about the abilities of the Light Force, though his words were broken more and more often by what he suffered. In the Light Force, he asserted, were healing, beauty, assurance, peace, the binding of all things together.

Dooku did his best to ignore all these things, and to cause as much pain as possible.

But Obi-Wan spoke on just the same, now talking about the forgiveness in the Light Force: "Don't ever think that you can't return. The Light calls you to return, and doesn't demand anything of you except that return. Your master also calls for you to return."

Dooku punched Obi-Wan hard in the side of his head. "How do you know what Yoda wants?"

A pause. Obi-Wan bowed his head slightly, then raised it again. "I didn't know it was Yoda. I'm only saying what the Light Force tells me, and what I know to be true. Return to the Light. A road has already been prepared. Please follow it home. Back to Qui-Gon and all the things he believed in, the things you wanted to believe but didn't quite dare-"

Dooku punched him again and pulled out. He couldn't finish. He shoved Obi-Wan forward and activated the stasis field again. Calling the Force collar from Obi-Wan's neck, he did up his robes. His hands were shaking and he cursed when he realized the Jedi saw this.

_Not just 'the Jedi'. Qui-Gon's padawan. There is so much of Qui-Gon in him: the same strength, the same devotion, the same clear sight-_

What drivel was that last? If Qui-Gon had seen clearly, he would have left the Jedi long ago.

Dooku started for the door, shoving the Force collar into his robs. Without looking back at Obi-Wan, he said, "Someone will come to dress you before your execution."

"There is no death in the Light Force." And, again, stronger, that feeling of a veil brushing across Dooku's mind. He didn't hear words, but felt _peace/ understanding/ forgiveness/ invitation._

Cursing again, building up his shields even stronger, Dooku fled, doing his best to retreat at a calm, stately pace. Even when the door was closed between them, he sensed Obi-Wan calling him, but he refused to listen. _Maybe I'll send Jango Fett. He would enjoy making a few tattoos in that Jedi's body before dressing him. _But even as he thought this, he knew he would send only efficient droids. They would not abuse his padawan's padawan.

_As I did. _He shook off that thought and bullied his mind into thinking and feeling the way he was accustomed to: cold, plotting, ready to do anything for the sake of his own ends.

oOo

They stood in the back of a chariot, waiting to be taken out into the arena. Anakin sensed Obi-Wan was near, and though he kept his own mind shielded, and Obi-Wan's shields were in place, he sensed a little from his master: peace. Acceptance. Was Obi-Wan planning to die here?

Anakin struggled with his anger, only able to release part of it. As much as he loved Obi-Wan, he wanted to strangle him, or at least hit him upside the head with the hilt of a lightsaber. He thought, _When we get out of this, I'm going to take him away from the Temple and teach him how to fight rape._

The Dark Force blossomed around him and he saw an image of himself raping Obi-Wan and yelling, _Fight! Fight, Force damn you!_

He winced. _No. I'm not like that. I would never hurt him._

Padme stirred beside him, and he glanced at her, hoping to distract himself.

He said, "Don't be afraid."

She answered, lifting her eyes to his, "I'm no afraid to die." In a quiet voice, she asked, "Soemthing feels wrong- besides this whole situation. Did you feel it?"

She couldn't mean that she had felt the Dark Force, but at the same time, he felt drawn out. He decided now was the time to make a confession he'd been delaying all the way from Tatooine. But if he was going to start along the Jedi path again, besides getting rid of his anger, he needed to tell the truth. And just now, telling the truth was a lot easier than releasing his rage. "Do you remember when I told you that Obi-Wan gave birth to the baby ber'Nac sired?"

She nodded, and he saw the ghost of some long-ago anger touch her gaze.

"And you asked me about abortion. I didn't want to tell you… Obi-Wan was convinced that the baby was Qui-Gon's, even though there was no way it could have been. He lied to himself." He looked away from her, then back. "I didn't want to make him sound less than perfect. I guess…" But he didn't have the words.

She did. "In your eyes, he's been perfect all along. Not in everything he's done or said, but in his essential nature. And convincing himself that he wasn't carrying the seed of his rapist makes him less than perfect in that way."

He nodded, relieved, and surprised how she'd put it together so well. Maybe what his mother had once said about women having just a natural understanding of the universe was true.

She added, "That's why you're so mad at him, even now. Because if he allowed himself to be raped, there's another flaw that goes against his essential nature." She touched his hand. "But flaws are what make us alive. And if he never swayed from his nature, he would never grow. He would have probably stayed an eternal student at Temple, a Knight in name, but studying all his life within safe boundaries. It doesn't make giving up or lying right, but it means that he is almost always true to himself. Help him, and he'll be true to himself again."

The guards were moving closer; it was almost time to go.

She moved closer to him. "He's out there, isn't he?"

Anakin nodded. "Tied. Just like we are. But very much alive."

"You should tell him. In case we die here."

"I'll think about it." But he knew in his heart that they were meant to live, and that he would get a chance to release all of his anger, sort things out with Obi-Wan, and confess his love in a more romantic setting.

oOo

Obi-Wan, still a little sore in various places, both from the blasters and the assault, watched Anakin and Padme riding in on the floating chariot. He noted that they both looked calm. That was good. None of them could do with losing their heads just now. But Anakin's shields were up.

_Well, and so are mine. I don't want Dooku picking up a stray thought. _But as the chariot moved past, Anakin looked back, and their eyes locked. _He's angry with me. For what? And how much of it really has to do with me, and how much has to do with the reason he was on Tatooine? _No way to know, but Anakin's anger, though hidden from most, was obvious to Obi-Wan. _I'm going to have to find a way to calm him before this gets fairly started. We're going to have some beasts coming after us soon, I'd think._

He watched Padme take something out of her mouth and hide it in her hands. He wondered what it was, and thought maybe she'd found a small pin to unlock the chains. He smiled to himself. _Maybe I was a little harsh with her. She is resourceful, and the way she rode in…. she looked as if she and Anakin shared something. And anyone who can get through to him is a good person in my book._

Obi-Wan decided to test the waters of Anakin's anger. Could he brought out of it, or even just distracted for a time from its full intensity? "I was beginning to wonder if you'd got my message."

"I retransmitted it just as you requested, Master."

Obi-Wan's eyebrows climbed. Anakin sounded both cold and yet on fire- so on edge he might not be thinking a step ahead. In his padawan's gaze, Obi-Wan saw a lack of focus so deep it was shocking. He opened his mouth to say something cautionary, but Anakin spoke again.

"Then we decided to come and rescue you."

What could he say to that? Anakin had been ordered to stay on Naboo. But he'd been off on Tatooine when Obi-Wan tried to contact him. If maybe he'd stayed in one place… Then again, the Force had said Anakin had fought a battle he needed to fight alone, so possibly that was still part of that battle. Obi-Wan tried to lace his teasing tone with reassurance in the Force, but he wasn't sure that part got through: "Good job."

He didn't berate himself; he'd tried to tease Anakin, and that might not have been the best tactic, but it was done. He measured Anakin's expression, and saw that his padawan was even more unfocused than before. Should they risk mind-to-mind contact here? What did it matter if Dooku heard them?

_Anakin, everything's all right. You need to focus on the task at hand. We'll talk about everything else later._

_Everything, Master? Including how you- _Anakin closed their link so tightly Obi-Wan couldn't even get a general impression of his padawan's mood.

_It's obvious how he feels, but why is he so angry with me?_

The head of Geonosis was speaking. "Settle down. Settle down," he said in his buzzy language.

Obi-Wan had tried a few words of it once back at Temple; he was a much better translator than speaker.

"Let the executions begin."

_Well, _Obi-Wan thought as the crowds roared, _you don't really need to know the language to know what he just said._

The three creatures were unleashed; one for each of them. Obi-Wan saw that none of them were from Geonosis. One was from a world where it was usually very dark. It must be half-blinded by the brightness of the arena. _We can use that. _He noted that Padme had managed to free herself from one of the shackles. _Good. Now, if I can just reach Anakin, we'll survive this._

With their bond closed, and seeing the apprehension on his padawan's face, Obi-Wan said, "Just relax. Concentrate." Had Anakin ever looked so frightened? _Yes, but it's been a long time. _He again tried to reach out through the Force, but Anakin wouldn't receive him at all.

"What about Padme?"

"She seems to be on top of things."

He watched Anakin glance at her as she gained the top of her post. Then Anakin turned back and watched the creatures approach. That distracted look was still in his eyes, but it was fading. _Good. Now, when we get through this, he and I are going to talk._

oOo

So many Jedi had never been gathered to fight. A hundred and fifty, maybe two hundred masters, knights and padawans had slipped onto Geonosis without triggering a single alarm. Realizing this, Obi-Wan knew hat it had been his long-distance connection to Anakin that had given him away. He didn't regret it. They popped up everywhere, ready to do battle. And not only were they organized, but they brought Obi-Wan and Anakin their own lightsabers as well. Or rather, Obi-Wan had his own back, but he noticed that Anakin's was an uncarved cylinder. He wondered at that as Anakin cut the chains from his wrists, but decided not to say anything.

Leaping form the back of horned beast Anakin had managed to bridle, Obi-Wan resolved to stay by his padawan. But the Force had other plans. Didn't it always? And bowing to these, Obi-Wan left Padme and Anakin to work together. The Jedi were gathering into defensive lines. Obi-Wan joined the second line, slipping effortlessly between Reeft and Garen. Further down on his right, he saw Bant and Nela, and, on his left, Gareth, Arnen and Siri.

Across the way, droids with blasters were preparing to charge. Obi-Wan looked at the sheer number of them, and called to the Force to protect all the Jedi here.

oOo

They'd spoken on the journey from Coruscant, and now wasn't the time for any words, even if they were to be final words. Sure in this knowledge, Gareth still risked hal a glance at his lover. _Be mindful of all those around you. Seek to defend as well as destroy._

_Don't worry, _Arnen said, insouciantly airy. _One Jedi could take out half these droids. I'm sure, between all of us, we can make a nice scrap pile._

_These won't be the only droids they have. Be wary. Fight with a look towards endurance._

_I love you, but you worry too much._

_I love you, too, Ar'. See you at the end of this._

oOo

Obi-Wan, directed by the Force, fought his way through the battle to Mace's side. They fought back to back and, between the two of them, began to make a serious dent in the advancing droids.

Called by the Force, Obi-Wan looked up in time to see Garen, who had leapt onto the balcony to perhaps take Dooku on personally, fall, flung from the balcony by a blast from Jango Fett. His friend hit the ground and did not rise. He tried to reach out through the Force, to know if Garen was dead or only wounded. But he couldn't pick out just one death when so many Jedi were dying. Seventy or more had already lost their lives, and still the droids kept coming.

The horned beast, free of its chain bridle, charged Obi-Wan and Mace, and the two Jedi were forced to roll apart. Obi-Wan turned his attention to the droids nearest him, using both the Force and his lightsaber to decimate those nearest him.

But more were coming.

He fought on, almost overwhelmed by the press of death in his mind and the strain fighting put on his already-weakened body. He felt the pain of where he'd been raped more and more as he fought, and he wondered how much longer he would be able to leap aside, or even stand.

Through it all, he continually reached out for Anakin. He couldn't feel his padawan's mind no matter how hard he tried; there was simply too much going on. But, he thought, since he wasn't sensing any high surges of anger, maybe Anakin had calmed himself and was thinking clearly. That was at least something to hope for.

The Force led him across the arena to where Gareth and Arnen were fighting back to back. Obi-Wan wasn't sure what he was doing here, except continuing to fight, until thirty droids suddenly converged on the two Jedi. Obi-Wan attacked from the flank, slicing off heads and limbs and anything his lightsaber touched. Being so close to two Jedi, he felt the death of one of them in the Force, though he couldn't tell which. _Please, _he thought, _don't let it be true. Let them live. Let them both live. Force, please. _Anguish swirled inside him, and he felt it channeling into anger.

Tempted to let the anger build- _Force, you can't take one of them. They are master and padawan!_- he almost missed the sudden flicker of life in the Force. Loosing his anger in a cry instead of a breath, Obi-Wan destroyed the last five droids and at last saw Gareth and Arnen. The padawan was holding his master against him, his bleeding wrist pressed to Gareth's partially-open mouth. Arnen still held his lightsaber in his other hand. The air around them hummed with the Light Force.

"Lay him down," Obi-Wan ordered. "Don't give him all your strength, but while you bandage his wounds, feed him a continual stream of Light Force through your bond." The two Jedi were near to a wall. Obi-Wan set himself up between them and a new wave of advancing droids. "I'll defend you."

Arnen didn't waste any energy in replying.

As Obi-Wan guarded the two of them, he spotted Anakin riding in the floating chariot he and Padme had ridden into the arena. Padme was riding the beast, driving it here and there. She had a blaster and, with almost every shot, she destroyed a droid. Anakin was guarding her back and felling those droids who came too close. Obi-Wan only saw his expression for an instant, but he saw how calm his padawan looked. _Thank You, _he sent to the Force. Then the droids were upon him and he had no more time for thinking, only moving.

oOo

Obi-Wan had separated himself from the heart of the battle. Dooku saw him and, prompted by the Dark Force, ordered fifty droids to attack him. And of course he called for more droids to arrive and keep the other Jedi busy. If he could kill Obi-Wan, he sensed, the Dark Lord would be very pleased. The master wouldn't be broken, but death was surely the next best thing.

Dooku had learned, since his exposure to the Dark Side, to lie to himself. Too much honesty with self wasted time. Thus, he wasn't aware that the Dark Force in him feared what Obi-Wan's words were starting to do to the compassionate man he had once been. He didn't know the Dark Force wanted Obi-Wan dead not just for the glory it would bring to the Dark Side, but also so the Darkness wouldn't lose a disciple.

oOo

Obi-Wan groaned as his left leg tried to collapse under him. The droids pressed close, and he sensed that soon he wouldn't be able to keep them away from where Arnen worked desperately to save his master's life. Obi-Wan had lost the ability to sense any Light Force outside the urges It sent him that kept him alive.

Channeling his force of will to his entire body, Obi-Wan struggled to remain above the agony that coursed through him. Unable to call for help, even by shouting, he fought a losing battle. Soon, he would join Qui-Gon in the nothingness of death, but he didn't long for it, even a little, as he had on Kamino. He needed to live. For those he was guarding. For the Jedi. For Anakin.

And for himself. In those moments that could be his last, he became conscious of a need strong as his need to love Qui-Gon. His lover was gone, but he realized that he didn't want to freeze his heart, that he wanted the chance of love again. He wasn't interested in anyone, but he was still conscious of the desire to live and love again.

Instead of coming for him straight on, as was their usual custom, the droids formed a semicircle around him, attacking now from all sides. Obi-Wan's lightsaber was a blur among the steady rain of blaster fire, and though he struggled to guard those behind him, he feared that some fire got through. He hoped Arnen would soon have the time to activate his lightsaber and defend himself and his master from those bolts that escaped Obi-Wan.

"Aaiiiiiii-yyyyaaaaa!" A blur of tan-colored speed and grace leapt over the heads of the droids and landed beside Obi-Wan.

_Siri, _he thought, so relieved he laughed.

"Save your breath," she said, slicing at droids right and left, seeming to float while her ever-shifting feet danced an intricate pattern. "And don't try to move so much. I'm here to do the moving for you. Stand there and send their fire back at them, like you've been doing." She cut off two droid heads with a single stroke. "You look exhausted. What happened? Not enough action in the Senate?"

She wasn't expecting an answer, but he felt the need to tell someone. "Dooku held me captive here. He raped me."

A colorful string of words that probably should never leave a Jedi's lips flew from her mouth. "So you're in pain."

"Yes." He sent three bolts back at the droid who had shot them, and the droid disintegrated from the torso up.

"Now that I'm here, use the Force to throw them, too."

He nodded. Now he did have the luxury of that. He sent half a dozen droids cartwheeling backwards- right into the lightsaber dance Bant and Reeft had created. These two were attacking the droids from the rear, and had done considerable damage. Bant caught Obi-Wan's eye and winked.

Seeing them, Obi-Wan was conscious of who was missing. These were his friends, the ones he had always depended on at Temple. Now, there might only be a quartet left. He hadn't seen Garen rise, and though he hadn't felt his friend's death, there was a good chance that if Garen hadn't been killed by Fett, he'd died after as he struggled to get up.

Obi-Wan's right leg gave out, and he fell, managing to catch himself on his other knee and on one hand. He swiped at the legs of a droid that came too close, and when the droid fell, he dispatched it. Using his lightsaber as a spinning roof, he guarded himself as he tried to rise. Siri had moved closer to him, not dancing now. He heard Bant, from a long way off, it seemed: "Obi-Wan!"

And as a wave of Dark Force flew over his head, he sensed the Darkness's pleasure. _Death now, _it said. _Death now, and your padawan will destroy the Republic._

Giving up his ability stand for lost, Obi-Wan rolled to the right, throwing himself against the legs of four droids. He sliced even as they fell, ending their existence.

But now he was cut off from Siri.

Her voice joined Bant's: "Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan, no!"

_If I have to die, let me die doing as the Force commands. _He had gained his knees again, though he was sitting back on his heels, a position that almost made him scream, and again all he could do was defend himself, not attack. He rallied his resources for a last command, praying one of his friends would hear him. "Train Anakin!" he shouted. "Keep him away from the Dark Side!"

Then Siri was beside him, standing over him. "Get back to Arnen and Gareth. Arnen is on his feet."

Obi-Wan wasn't sure he could move. His lower body was on fire. He called on the Force for strength, but seemingly the Force was busy elsewhere. That wasn't true; maybe he just didn't have enough energy that the Force could use to get him on his feet.

Two of the droids that had been firing steadily at Obi-Wan suddenly stopped, then staggered forward and fell at his very feet. Their backs sparked with severed connections. Obi-Wan looked up, and met the eyes of the long-legged, sharp-toothed creature that had picked him out when he was chained to the post. It moved towards him again.

He couldn't roll aside this time. He simply lacked the energy to do so. He raised his lightsaber, knowing the creature would dodge the blade, try to rip him apart with teeth or claws.

Siri leapt between them, driving her lightsaber upwards into the creature's neck. It staggered back, pulling free of her blade, and fell.

Obi-Wan dared to breathe.

A droid's lucky shot tore into the side of Siri's head, and she fell sideways into Obi-Wan's arms.

He'd dropped his lightsaber to catch her, and he held her against him, knowing that he couldn't defend her. He could barely hold her against him.

The droids leveled their riffles at the helpless Jedi.

Reeft and Bant, reinforced by Anakin and Padme, mowed the attackers down from behind.

Obi-Wan turned his attention to Siri as Bant moved to help Arnen and a semi-conscious Gareth. Anakin and Padme turned and faced the droids that were advancing.

"Siri," Obi-Wan murmured, brushing hair off her forehead.

She smiled at him. One eye was filling with blood, and that side of her head looked half-collapsed. "You can do it," she whispered. "Let me go. And fight on." She reached out, laying a hand on his stomach. She pressed down, and Light Force rolled into him, healing him all over, strengthening him.

He felt all her life force going into that touch. She was giving him everything, just as Tahl had given to Qui-Gon. "Siri…" His voice broke.

She shook her head. "Don't argue, Kenobi. The galaxy goes on, and you'll go on with it. Tend your padawan yourself. No one knows better than you." She reached up with her other hand, catching his tunic.

He bent closer to her, and felt the ghost of a kiss on his cheek.

"You are a great Jedi master," she whispered. "You are. In the coming war, they're going to call you The Living Legend: General Kenobi."

The last of her life force passed into him. Her hands fell away, her eyes closed. She was still.

The Light Force surged inside him and around him. He stood, cradling her in his arms. Only then did he realize that the shooting had stopped. He looked up, and saw that Dooku was looking down at the Jedi. He gestured, and the droids parted, leaving a path for Obi-Wan and the others to rejoin Mace and the twenty Jedi who were still standing.

Anakin kept his lightsaber activated. He glanced at Obi-Wan. "Carry her; we'll cover you." His eyes were dark with concern and an emotion Obi-Wan thought was dangerously close to anger. Anakin hadn't let it go after all; he'd just buried it while fighting.

Bant moved forward, flanking Obi-Wan on one side. Padme flanked him on the other. She was carrying Obi-Wan's deactivated lightsaber respectfully, cradling it against her chest. Behind him, Anakin and Reeft flanked Arnen, who was half-carrying his master. Together, this small, sad party rejoined the larger group. Obi-Wan knew he had to lay Siri down; the Force commanded it. He did so, then took his lightsaber from Padme with a nod of thanks. From where he stood, he could see Garen lying under the balcony. His chest had caved in, and both of his legs had been shot off. Obi-Wan fought a sudden urge to throw up.

"Master Windu!" Dooku called, his tone smug.

_Force, help me not to hate him._

"You have fought gallantly. Worthy of recognition in the archives of the Jedi Order. Now, it is finished. Surrender, and your lives will be spared."

_Never, _Obi-Wan thought. Dooku's eyes were on him, and he was afraid of what the man might do to him but, more, he was afraid what would happen to Anakin. If he saw his master being raped, what would he do? Would he reach out to the Dark Side? As much as Obi-Wan longed to believe that would never happen, he couldn't forget Anakin's anger a that very moment.

"We will not be hostages to be bartered, Dooku," Mace said.

"Then, I'm sorry, old friend."

_Our last battle, _Obi-Wan thought, raising his lightsaber as the droids brought their weapons to bear. He felt no sadness, no fear, only a sense of unreality. Would he witness his padawan's death?

"Look!" Padme called.

Obi-Wan turned, and saw the ship descending. He couldn't see the occupants just yet, but he sensed Master Yoda among them.

The droids began firing at the ship, and at those still on the ground, but Obi-Wan knew the tide of battle had turned.

oOo

Obi-Wan, Anakin and Padme had moved to another ship after leaving the arena. As the ship they rode banked hard, Obi-Wan shouted, "Hang on!"

Anakin glanced at Padme, saw that she was well-anchored, then turned his eyes to the battle. Forcibly, he refused to think about Obi-Wan, about the deaths in the arena, or his anger, which was directed at Obi-Wan, at Dooku, and the Force.

He said to the clone they rode with, "Aim right above the fuel cells."

This was done, and the tower fell.

"Good call, Padawan mine," Obi-Wan said.

He sounded completely strong again, as if the death of so many didn't bother him, as if he'd forgotten the rape. _Or maybe he really was enjoying it. _During the battle, as Anakin had felt Obi-Wan weakening, he'd started to believe that his master had fought the rape, that the vision had lied, but now, seeing Obi-Wan so strong, he doubted again.

"Look over there!" Obi-Wan pointed out a black dot amid the rising dust a fallen starship had thrown into the air.

"It's Dooku," Anakin said, and his anger rose. "Shoot him down!"

The clone said, calm as you please, "We're out of rockets, sir."

"Follow him," Anakin said. He felt half-strangled with rage and fought to keep it hidden from Obi-Wan.

"We're gonna need some help," Padme said.

"There isn't time. Anakin and I can handle this."

Anakin thought, _Unelss you submit to him. But even if you do, I'll handle this. I can stop him by myself._ He was past recognizing arrogance in his own thoughts; all reason had been swallowed in anger.

They were being shot at. The ship rocked and bucked, more like the furry Anakin had ridden on Rept'thik than a thing made of metal alloys. Anakin braced himself, willing the ship to stay in the air.

To his right, Padme cried out. He whirled, watching helplessly as she fell. "_PADME!_" He shouted to the pilot, "Put the ship down!"

Obi-Wan had the audacity to get between Anakin and the open side of the ship. He gripped Anakin's shoulder. "Don't let your personal feelings get in the way." Then, to the clone, "Follow that speeder."

_Personal feelings? If I was going to let any 'personal feelings' get in the way, it would be my love for you, not my caring for her. But Dooku can wait. He won't get off-planet without paying for all the death and pain he's caused. _Anakin still hadn't lowered his shields, and he no intention of clarifying things for his master.

"Lower the ship," Anakin ordered.

Obi-Wan looked frustrated, heart-sore and exhausted. Whatever strength Siri had given him seemed to be wearing off. So much for her sacrifice. "I can't take Dooku alone. I need you. If we catch him, we can end this war right now."

_Where were _you_ when I needed help?_

"We have a job to do," Obi-Wan said, his voice breaking in what might have passed for anger, but what Anakin guessed was suppressed pain.

_You deserve whatever pain you feel. _"I don't care. Put the ship down."

"You will be expelled from the Jedi Order."

_For what? Refusing your orders? Well, you ignored the orders of the Force- which were to listen to the Force, and not to your own fear. I'm not the one who should be expelled. _"I can't leave her." He felt something then: the Force needed her, wanted her, to live. For what purpose, he didn't know, but just then, he didn't care. He didn't even really care that the Force needed her; he wanted her to live. She had helped him, and she was an innocent. She didn't deserve to die. And, more than all that, she was a friend.

"Come to your senses!" Obi-Wan shouted, his eyes narrowed. "What do you think Padme would do were she in your position?"

_She wouldn't let herself be raped. _But Obi-Wan's words affected him, though he hated to admit it. "She would do her duty."

Obi-Wan turned away from him, and in that sudden movement, Anakin saw defeat and weakness. "Anakin, he's dangerous. I need your focus on the coming battle." He glanced over his shoulder, and in his haunted gaze Anakin read understanding. "Padme will be all right. We would have felt her death in the Force, or her weakening. I think she has only some scratches."

What Obi-Wan said made no sense. "We wouldn't feel her unless she was a Jedi."

Obi-Wan leaned against the bulkhead nearest him. He had turned away again. "She is Force-sensitive."

_How can he know that? I've felt nothing from her, and I've spent much more time with her than he has. And he's been half-gone most of the time. _"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Anakin thought about arguing, but he sensed they were getting close to Dooku. There wasn't time for this. He sighed, resolving to bring down Dooku as quickly as possible so he could get back to her and make sure she was all right.

oOo

Yoda gazed towards the hangers that stood at a good distance from the arena. He sensed the Darkness that was drawing near them, and though he knew the feel of his padawan after so many years, he also sensed the growing anger in Anakin, and Obi-Wan's weakening control over both his padawan and himself. Obi-Wan had been shaken to his core by all the death he'd seen; that much was obvious. He and Anakin, chasing Dooku, needed help. They didn't have the strength to fight such Darkness as they were now, and they had no real idea of what was coming. Dooku's power had grown, strengthened by the Dark Side he pursued.

The clone that stood beside him said, "The droid army is in full retreat."

_They the true concern are not. Dooku the real threat is. _"Well done, Commander. Bring me a ship." He would confront Dooku, and hope that he wasn't too late to save Obi-Wan or Anakin.

oOo

They jogged into the hanger, Obi-Wan doing his best to keep Anakin a step behind him. If they were going to meet any traps, he wanted to protect his padawan. There had been far too much death today.

Dooku was waiting for them, and Obi-Wan slowed to a walk, making sure that Anakin would do the same. Before he could speak, Anakin did, and the barely-suppressed rage in his voice, carried off as a cavalier tone, made Obi-Wan wish he'd listened to Padme and called for reinforcements.

"You're going to pay for all the Jedi you killed today, Dooku."

IF he couldn't calm Anakin, this battle would be over before it began. In a half-whisper, because Anakin's shields were still up, he said, "We'll take him together. You go in slowly on the left-"

"I'm taking him now." Anakin charged Dooku, his blade only half-raised. He expected the Dark Force user to meet him blade to blade. He didn't sense the field around Dooku that crackled silently in the Force like lightning.

"No, Anakin! No! _NO!!_" For he could feel the build-up of Force lightning in his very bones and Anakin's weapon still wasn't up.

Dooku hit Anakin full in the chest and hurled him against the nearest wall. Anakin slumped there, his eyes closing. He'd been knocked out as much by the shock of the lightning as by his collision with the wall.

Obi-Wan raised his lightsaber and stood ready. He sensed the Light Force within him, wanting him to speak again. He wasn't sure he'd be able, but then, realizing how much grief and fear were coursing through his heart and mind, he breathed out, willing it all to go. This was a battle between Light and Dark; let him only be a conduit, nothing more.

"As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now: back down."

Obi-Wan reached out just as he had when Dooku held him prisoner. Dooku's mind was heavily shielded this time, but still Obi-Wan used the Light Force to call him. With the Force's voice, he sent, _Peace. An end to war. An end to pain, suffering, despair. Return. The path is before your feet. You only have to follow it to find serenity._

Dooku sent out a bolt of Force lightning.

Obi-Wan caught the energy on his blade. He'd expected the lightning to be stronger, or at least to knock him back a step. It didn't. Seemingly, all of it was drawn to his blade, and there it dissipated. The Jedi Master said, "I don't think so." Again, he reached out, seeking Dooku's mind with the Light Force. Again, that shield, but he sensed a chink, even a crack, in it. He sent: _Peace. Safety. Home. Redeption. Life. _

Dooku slipped his blade from its holster.

And Obi-Wan made his only mistake in that battle, though it cost him dearly: he attacked first, instead of waiting for Dooku to come to him. He knew better, had always coached Anakin to wait on his enemies so that he might judge how they moved before revealing his own strategy. And he gave himself no excuse, not telling himself he was careless because of the deaths of his friends, because of the rape or because he was weakening in body and couldn't stand long enough for a waiting-battle. He knew himself well enough to know that he was just being impatient, that he waned Dooku disarmed so there was no chance the man could hurt or kill Anakin.

"Master Kenobi, you disappoint me. Yoda holds you in such high esteem." He pressed Obi-Wan close, blade to blade. His eyes mocked the Jedi. "Surely you can do better."

Obi-Wan sought a little distance. When he had a breath of space, he leapt back, giving himself a moment to center his movements. He'd charged with swift blade action; he needed more feints and dodges than blade-touches. What he'd said to Anakin was true: he couldn't take Dooku alone. His hope was to keep the man at bay until help arrived. _Make a decision, make another, _he thought, and then Dooku was on him and their dance continued.

But only a dozen steps further. In a test of strength against strength, Dooku proved the better. He forced Obi-Wan's blade first up, then down, dipping his own at the last moment so that it cut Obi-Wan's arm, then his leg.

Neither cut was deep, but the pain was bad. The Force was just barely keeping Obi-Wan on his feet; this new pain couldn't be damped, even a little. Obi-Wan fell.

Dooku stood above him, red blade raised.

But even when death was staring him right in the face, Obi-Wan could read the look in Dooku's eyes: he wasn't angry or triumphantly glad, but relieved. His eyes said clearly: _Now you'll die, and all your words with you._ And though it was really the Light Force he was afraid of, and not Obi-Wan, the Jedi took comfort that he'd reached Dooku even that much. Surely the Force would find another Jedi to complete Its task. The message had been sent.

Only… _Force, protect Anakin. Lead him away from anger. _Unable to move, Obi-Wan faced death with composure.


	35. Broken Last Peace

**Author's Note:** Hi, everybody. After weeks of physical illness and emotional stress and anguish, I'm finally getting back on track with these chapters. I'll try to have two by Sunday night.

Broken

Anakin's shields had fallen when he lapsed into unconsciousness. He hadn't yet learned how to fortify them so they would stand even when he wasn't awake. Now, as he came up slowly through the vapor that hung between asleep and awake, he felt the Force alive with both Darkness and Light. The Darkness surrounded the Light, and the Light was close to going out. Groaning, he continued to struggle upwards. He knew the source of the Light: Obi-Wan. Dooku must have defeated him, or was close to doing so.

_And is that because Obi-Wan gave in to him, or because he truly fought, and yet isn't strong enough?_ The question would have held him before, but now he only felt the need to save Obi-Wan. Anger could wait until he had someone to yell at.

Forcing himself through the last barrier of vapor, Anakin found himself on his feet. Across the hangar, Obi-Wan lay, half curled, on the floor. The air reeked of burnt flesh. Dooku stood over him, his lightsaber raised.

All of Anakin's nightmares returned, and he threw himself across the intervening distance, his blade out, ready to catch Dooku's descending stroke.

He caught the red blade on his green one only a dozen centimeters above Obi-Wan's neck. Anakin had prepared for Dooku's strength, and he wasn't disappointed. Supported by the Light Force that ran through him like a fast-flowing river, he held his blade steady.

"Brave of you, Boy," Dooku said. "But I thought you would have learned your lesson."

"I _am_ a slow learner." And he said it not only because he wanted something to say to Dooku, but also because he knew, then, that no matter how furious he was with Obi-Wan, no matter that the Light Force hadn't fulfilled what Anakin considered to be its end of the bargain, he knew now that he could never leave the Jedi. He was meant to live and die as one of them.

"_Anakin!_" Both in the Force and out loud, Obi-Wan called him, and Anakin received the vision of a flying lightsaber. His hand came up, guided by the Force, and the hilt of Obi-Wan's active lightsaber fit easily into his palm. With both weapons, he advanced.

But even with quick, confident moves and two lightsabers, Dooku was still the better fighter. He cut Anakin's green-bladed lightsaber in half, barely missing Anakin's fingers, then came in even stronger, seeking to slice Anakin as he had the 'saber hilt.

Retreating, Anakin accidentally sliced into a bank of circuits so that the lights above him went out. The sudden dimness wasn't a problem; the weapons provided more than enough light. Anakin tried to take advantage of the dimness, but Dooku was sharp-eyed and too quick. He gave Anakin no openings and barely any time to do more than defend himself.

_I need to end this, _Anakin thought. _If I fail, he'll still kill Obi-Wan. Or take him. I won't let Dooku take him again, even if, in his heart, Obi wants it a little. I won't let him give up on fighting the Dark Force._

But will alone has never won a lightsaber duel. Though he held Dooku off for another half minute, the older man moved suddenly, and then Anakin's hand was simply gone. He barely had time to register the pain as he was flung backwards with the power of the Force. He landed beside Obi-Wan. His vision blurred with tears as the agony started to make its presence known, and he blinked, trying to see.

Dooku stood a little away from them, his eyes bright with some emotion Anakin couldn't read. The rest of his face was expressionless.

Anakin wondered if he might have enough strength to hold Dooku back with the Force alone, but he doubted it. The Darkness around him everywhere was so intense he could hardly feel any Light Force. But as the pain scaled up, he sensed two pinpricks of Light: one a little distance away and drawing nearer, and the other right beside him.

_Let go of the pain, _Obi-Wan sent. _Let the Force give you strength._ Down their link, his own strength was returning, but slowly.

Anger flared in Anakin's mind again. _Your answer to everything is to let go. Just like you let go of your defenses and didn't even fight Dooku when he wanted to rape you. No, you just spread your legs! _He closed their bond, barricading himself in his own mind. Part of him knew he would have to deal with the anger eventually, and that he would have to talk to Obi-Wan, but not now. Even if these were to be their last moments of life, he couldn't bring himself to accept Obi-Wan's surrender, or to even pretend to his master that he didn't know exactly what had happened.

oOo

Yoda made his way into the hangar unaccompanied. The clone commander had wanted to follow him, but Yoda asked him to keep all enemies out. "Let in Jedi only," he'd said, and the commander had agreed, though he added, "Be careful, sir."

Now, leaning on his gimmer stick, Yoda faced Dooku. He saw Obi-Wan and Anakin lying on the floor, both alive, but both injured, and he wondered what could have possessed Obi-Wan to try taking Dooku with only his padawan as backup. Well, that was in the past. Obi-Wan had surely learned from his mistake, and wouldn't make it again.

"Master Yoda," Dooku said.

_Call me master in jest now do you? Or perhaps enjoy titles overmuch you do now. _"Count Dooku."

"You have meddled in our affairs for the last time."

Not 'our' as in 'the members of the Separatist movement'; Yoda sensed Dooku meant a more encompassing and powerful plural. Dooku spoke of the Dark Side, and, just possibly, the Lord of the Sith. Was he Dooku's master now? Yoda's heart ached to think that his padawan had fallen so far, and he hoped for a time when Dooku might still be reached, though he couldn't see that time now.

Dooku moved his hand, and Yoda felt the stirring of the Dark Force as Dooku hurled first large cylinders torn from the hangar walls, then brought down part of the ceiling. Yoda chose to send all these things harmlessly to one side or the other, aware of the Jedi lying not far away. He wanted to keep them safe if at all possible. "Powerful you have become, Dooku. The Dark Side I sense in you."

"I've become more powerful than any Jedi." He extended a hand, palm down, towards Yoda. "Even you." A bolt of Force lightning left his hand.

Yoda caught it. He hadn't always been able to do so, but the Light Force was so strong in him that he was able to hold the energy without being burned. He returned it the way it had come.

Dooku sent another bolt, and this one Yoda held in his hand. Then he let it dissipate.

"Much to learn you still have."

If Dooku felt any unease, he hid it well. "It is clear this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force, but by our skills with a lightsaber."

They met, blade to blade, Yoda flying through the air with the Light Force supporting him like a cushion of air. He pressed Dooku close and closer, and he saw the recognition in Dooku's eyes that he, Yoda, would win this fight.

When their blades were pressed close, Yoda said, "Fought well you have, my old padawan." He meant to add that Dooku should surrender, and he would not be harmed, but the man spoke.

"This is just the beginning." Still holding his lightsaber against Yoda's, he moved his hand and the ceiling above where Obi-Wan and Anakin lay began to cave. Then he turned and fled.

Yoda caught the falling metal and rock. He watched Dooku running up a ship's ramp. He could either catch Dooku or save the two Jedi who lay, only semi-conscious, beneath the suspended metal.

It was no choice. With a grunt of regret, wishing that he could have convinced Dooku to surrender that he might be led from the Darkness, Yoda moved the fallen ceiling away from Obi-Wan and Anakin, then let it fall.

Dooku had escaped. The war would continue.

_Let them die should I have to catch him?_ It was a pointless question because the decision had been made, yet Yoda wondered how many innocents would die because of his choice. _Make a decision, make another. _He sighed and, retrieving his gimmer stick, started towards where Obi-Wan and Anakin lay. He filled the room around him with the Light Force, pushing out the Darkness, and concentrating the healing powers of the Force on the two that he'd saved.

oOo

The return trip to Coruscant was awkward, and not only because the master and apprentice weren't speaking to each other. Everyone felt the discomfort of being surrounded by so many clones. Closer to being alive than most droids, but not the same as those who had been 'born', they inspired a species of distrust that was both destructive and unsettling.

Obi-Wan glanced at the clone commander who sat beside him. It was better to do this than to glance at his padawan, who sat several meters away, talking quietly with Padme. "What's your name?" the master asked.

The clone glanced at him, then away. "Commander Curly Grene, sir."

"Please don't call me sir. I'm not your commanding officer. My name is Obi-Wan."

Curly nodded, even smiled a little. "Nice to meet you, Obi-Wan."

Without his helmet, he looked more human, though because he looked like Jango Fett, Obi-Wan felt a touch of uneasiness. He did his best to dismiss the feeling. With a war maybe coming, they must trust each other, or the Darkness would eat them from within. But how could clones commissioned by who-knew-who under false pretenses years ago be trusted?

That, Obi-Wan decided, could be figured out later. For now, the most important thing was to make friends with this unexpected ally. He couldn't think of a good conversation starter, a predicament he hadn't experienced in some time. But then he felt an urging form the Force, and though it seemed impolite to say something so direct immediately, he did as he was told. "The Jedi are raised to believe in the Force. If I can ask, what were you raised to believe in?" His use of 'raised' instead of 'bred' or 'programmed was a reach, but he hoped Curly would take his words as an attempt at peace. _Strange, but I haven't felt on such shaky footing when making a first contact like this since I was a padawan._

"The Republic."

Without an instant's hesitation. Obi-Wan decided he felt better about the alliance already. "And we're taught to follow both our own initiative and also to listen to those in the Order who are older than we are." He left it as an open statement, hoping Curly would keep talking.

"We're taught much the same, and like you, it's what we're made of that determines our calling. We're more docile than our source, not likely to kill for killing's sake, but we do have our own feelings, our own imaginations." He turned to Obi-Wan, facing him full-on. "Have you ever wondered about being outside the Force you serve?"

Obi-Wan considered that. "I suppose, though I can't truly imagine it. The universe would seem so different if I couldn't hear the Force." He paused. "There was a time when I could barely hear It, and everything seemed less colorful and vibrant."

"We're not that different." Curly nodded. "I can wonder about not being in the Republic's army, about not being a soldier, but it's only a passing thought, with no depth. If I can't serve the Republic, as you serve the Force, I would feel incomplete. Is that what you mean?"

"Exactly." Obi-Wan felt an easing in his heart. "We'll work well together, I think," he said, "since we understand each other. And the Jedi serve the Republic, too, though it is the Force that commands our number-one loyalty. But the Force has supported the Republic for the last thousand years; I can hardly see that changing now."

"We don't have to have the very same ends to be allies. Or friends." Curly held out his hand.

Obi-Wan grasped Curly's hand and shook it firmly. "Agreed."

Shortly after this, he sought out Anakin in earnest. They were still several hours away from Coruscant; there was still time to repair the breach between them before they landed. Obi-Wan sensed there would be work aplenty waiting for them when they returned, and though he would gladly throw over all that work until he could mend things with Anakin, he thought he might not have a choice in the matter.

Padme saw him coming and excused herself. She touched his arm gently as she passed, and when he met her gaze, he saw a knowledge that he didn't understand. She knew something he didn't, maybe something about the intensity of Anakin's rage. Well, now wasn't the time to ask. He let her go and approached his padawan. He sat gingerly beside the younger man, though he wished he had the strength to crouch a little distance away, or that there was a seat the right distance for him to sit on. Where he sat now was too close, he sensed, but it would have to do.

"Anakin?" He reached out, though Anakin had reestablished his shields between them back on Geonosis and showed no signs of lowering them. Still, Obi-Wan touched the shield lightly, sending his feelings of confusion and regret out. Maybe some of them would reach Anakin. "Padawan mine-"

"I don't want you to call me that right now." Anakin wasn't looking at him. "It implies an understanding between us, and we don't know each other at all."

Anakin sounded so old, and far too calm. "You spoke of my surrender to Dooku. About that-"

"I don't want to talk. About that or about anything. I'll say something I don't mean. Or you will." He stood, brushed past Obi-Wan, and headed towards the back of the ship. He was cradling his bandaged wrist against his chest.

Obi-Wan longed to reach out and know if his padawan was in much physical pain. He wanted to ease the pain if he could, especially because he couldn't ease the rest of the pain Anakin seemed to be suffering under. _Force, is this the separation You meant? I want so badly to reach him, but he won't let me get near._

_Keep trying, _the Force whispered.

That had never been a question in Obi-Wan's mind. _I won't quit until we're together again._

oOo

The medics had bathed his arm and thigh in bacta, healing them well. Obi-Wan still wore a bacta patch on his thigh over the worse of the two injuries, but he was allowed to leave his cot and make his way to Anakin's side. His padawan was being equipped with a new hand of metal; the area had been completely numbed so that the medics could start the process of attaching circuits to nerves. This process was over half complete, and droids had taken over the supervision of the final stages. Anakin sat upright with his arm on a little table. When Obi-Wan drew a chair up beside him, the padawan closed his eyes and seemed to go far away. His shields were still up.

No reaching through the Force seemed to reach Anakin, and so Obi-Wan tried words again. He longed to have Anakin speaking to him again, even if he was shouting. This silence hurt. "Anakin, please talk to me."

Silence. Not even an eyebrow twitch to show his words had been heard.

"Well, if you won't answer, at least listen. I don't feel as though I should apologize for what you see as my weakness, but I'll apologize anyway."

Still no response.

"It's not what you think. The Force told me to surrender my body to him and to try and save him. Bring him back from the Dark Side." He admitted, "It was hard, especially after what he said about Qui-Gon. But-"

"And the rape didn't bother you at all!" Anakin didn't open his eyes, but that surreal calmness was gone from his voice. Anger reined.

"Anakin, it hurt. And it shames me. But I made an agreement with the Force. That's why I went away to Dagobah, or one of the big reasons I did: I had to accept my place in the Force's plan."

"You agreed to be a whore?" Anakin grimaced.

This wasn't the time to talk semantics. He would serve, whatever that entailed. Anakin needed to understand that. Obi-Wan put it as plainly as he could. "Yes, if that's what the Force asks of me."

"The Force can't do that to you."

"It's not _doing_ anything to me. I'm a Jedi. I follow the Force. The agreement's made; it's up to me to keep up my end of the deal." He wished he could read Anakin's expression, but his padawan had dropped a diplomatic mask over his features that Obi-Wan recognized all too well. He went on without that input: "And if I keep my promise, let the Force work through me, instead of me working against It, then the right things will happen." He leaned forward, wanting to touch Anakin's arm but holding himself in check. "I'm not just following blindly, Anakin. The Force hasn't told me all the good that will happen if I do as I'm asked, but It has explained some things. You'll become the Chosen One and restore balance to the Force. You'll save the Republic. Aren't the lives of ten billion people or more worth any sacrifice?"

"Not this one. Not from you." His eyes were open at last, and though anger still burned his gaze and rumbled in his voice, agony and fear were just as evident.

Obi-Wan said softly, aware that he'd said just the same many times before: "Anakin, you can't protect me."

"If they could kill Qui-Gon, they could kill you. I don't want to lose you."

"And I don't-" He stopped. Where would rehashing the old words get them? They needed to move on to the next step. It was time to move on from the land of shared caring to the land of reality. "We've had this discussion so many times. Nothing's going to change. I'm going to tell you to serve the Force. Let's just skip to that. Haven't you felt stronger, surer, since you started connecting to the Force, relying on it?"

"Yeah, but it's also betrayed me. The Force let my mother die. In my arms."

So, that was the full extent of what he'd sensed in the Force. Her death as well as Anakin's anger and grief. "Or perhaps the Force sustained her until you could arrive so that she would pass in peace, knowing that you are safe, and that you are what you wanted to become. And that you are a handsome young man."

Anakin's head snapped towards him, and he nailed Obi-Wan with his gaze. "That's exactly what she said. How did you know?"

"I didn't. I was only speaking the truth, speaking of what she might have seen." His padawan turned away, closing his eyes again. "If you want to be angry with me, for following the Force, or whatever reason, go ahead. But please stay connected to the Force. You need It, whether you realize it or not, and the Jedi need you. And no matter what you think, the Force didn't betray you."

"I'm done talking."

There was the wall between them, large and impenetrable as ever. Obi-Wan struggled to keep the hurt from his voice. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Do you want to leave?"

_How could you think I'd want to be away from you when you've suffered so much and are so lost? _A single tear slipped down the older man's cheek; he brushed it away and fought to keep his voice level."No. I want to stay."

"Then stay."

_Force, why is he still so angry? How do I explain things every Jedi knows, teach the trust we need to depend on every day just to survive?_

oOo

The sky was orange outside the tall windows of the Council Chamber. Yoda watched Mace and Obi-Wan, noting how the colors of the sky accented their stances. Both were swathed in their robes, almost seeming to hide in them. Obi-Wan especially, just returned from the medics, looked drawn and exhausted. Both of their gazes were on the sky, as if they could see the destruction coming. Yoda felt no such desire from his lover, and Obi-Wan's thoughts were only half on the coming war, but still, they looked like generals surveying the troops, not with pride but with a businesslike anticipation of what was to come, and how they could prevent as much death as possible.

On the way back from Geonosis, Obi-Wan had briefed them on all he'd learned while he was Dooku's prisoner. Now, his eyes still on the sky, he asked, "Do you believe what Count Dooku said about Darth Sidious controlling the Senate? It doesn't feel right."

Obi-Wan wasn't meaning to hurt Yoda; considering the fact that he'd been barely conscious during most of the fight between Dooku and his master, he probably had no idea that the Count was Yoda's former padawan. But his words stung, rubbing against the wound Yoda felt at the permanent loss of his padawan. _Saved he can still be._ But he despaired of Dooku being saved any day soon. Much had to happen first. His voice tight with sorrow, Yoda said, "Joined the Dark Side Dooku has. Lies. Deceit. Creating mistrust are his ways now."

"Nevertheless," Mace said, "I feel we should keep a closer eye on the Senate."

"I agree." Which meant that Obi-Wan would be going back in. Yoda glanced at the younger master to see how he took this news, but Obi-Wan's face bore no expression. His thoughts had retreated even further from the war, leaving those in the room with him behind.

Mace spoke. "Where is your apprentice?"

"Helping Senator Amidala pack. He will escort her back to Naboo." His eyes, again, were on the sky.

With his head turned just so, his features hidden, and with the narrow view he presented, he looked much too young to be master and to have seen so much death and pain. Though he hadn't yet spoken of all that had happened on Geonosis, Yoda knew there would have to be a time for that.

But then Obi-Wan turned, seeming to feel Yoda's gaze on him. He said, trying hard to sound like himself, or at least like a more experienced Jedi, "I have to admit that without the clones it would not have been a victory."

_Yes, _Yoda thought, _watched you speak with Commander Grene I did. Seeking to make friends as well as allies you were trying. A step towards surviving this war that is. _But Obi-Wan's words also pierced Yoda's heart, and though he didn't want to chasten the young Jedi, he said sharply, "Victory?"

Obi-Wan gazed at him; new lines were carved into his face. He looked contrite, sorry that he'd spoken.

Yoda gentled his tone. "Victory, you say." He bowed his head and reached out with the Light Force to gentle his words even further. The words needed to be said, but on top of all that had been endured, they would feel like a physical blow. "Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun the Clone War has."

Obi-Wan nodded, closed his eyes for a moment. "Forgive me, Master. I know better. What we saw today… It was only the beginning." He turned his face away, but not before Yoda saw the tears in his eyes.

The old master called, "Obi-Wan, come here."

Obi-Wan hesitated for one of the only times since Yoda had known him. "Master, I'll be all right. It was just a shock to lose so many…" He swallowed. "And I have worries about Anakin."

"Come here you will, and talk we will."

"I should get down to the pyre."

Mace said, "It won't be lit for another hour. We'll go with you." He laid a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Please go sit with Yoda for a few minutes."

"You have so many others who need to be healed… I can…"

"Speaking to you now I am. Speak with others later I will. Come here. Disobey much longer will you? So unlike you it is that only increasing my worry are you." Yoda extended a hand. "Come sit with me, Obi-Wan."

At last, the master came and sat by Yoda. His eyes were brimming with tears, but he was trying hard to hold them back. He folded his hands in his lap and sat, stiff and straight. After a moment, he squeezed his eyes shut. Though he was trying to keep his feelings to himself, he didn't voice any more protests.

Yoda laid his three-fingered hand on Obi-Wan's own, grasping the younger man's fingers gently but firmly so that Obi-Wan couldn't pull away. "Let go of this can you before all the Order, before your friends?"

"If that's what they ask of me."

"But wish to remain strong for them you do?"

"Yes."

"Then release some of your pain now, here, you should. Be strong for everyone you do not need to. Know you are alive and therefore feel pain we do. Without pain you are not expected to be, and without grief you are not supposed to go on. Pain you are allowed to feel, and allowed to express it you are."

"You've grieved enough alone," Mace said sitting down beside Yoda. He took his lover's hand, then reached out and took Obi-Wan's completing the circle. Closing his eyes, he sent understanding and compassion through the Force. And, behind that, both Yoda and Obi-Wan could feel his heartbreak.

As one, the three of them reached out to the Force, sending their grief out and receiving comfort in return. Yoda grieved freely for Dooku and for what he thought was lost. In this way, he received from Obi-Wan the knowledge that Dooku had been touched deeply by the Light Force and that even though, for now, he was resisting, he couldn't escape those things the Light Force had told him, or his own need for peace and a return home. Yoda rejoiced in this, thanked Obi-Wan, then let his grief for all those that had been lost fill him, overflowing into the minds of those beside him, and then beyond them, into the boundless sea of the Force.

Obi-Wan's grief was sharp at first, and at first, all he could think of were Garen and Siri. He wept for them, not holding back his tears now, and asked the Force why they had to be taken so soon. He didn't truly need the answer; asking the question was healing in itself. Then, as his grief expanded, he grieved for all the Jedi who had been lost. Qui-Gon's name came and went in his mind, bringing some pain, but the pain from that injury was at last starting to fade. He grieved for the masters and padawans who had lost each other, then thanked the Force for those, like Gareth and Arnen, Bant and Nela, who had both lived and were able to go on together.

Then his mind went to Anakin, and to what the Dark Force had said: _your padawan will destroy the Republic._

Yoda caught hold of that thought. _Said this the Dark Force did?_

_Yes._

_And still believe you do?_

_Anakin has been angry lately, at me especially, and also at the Force. He did something terrible on Tatooine, probably killed someone, or many someones. _

_And so believe you do that his anger will lead to the destruction of the Republic?_

_It's the only thing that makes sense._

Mace joined their talk. _Unless the Dark Force was twisting the truth. The Force can only tell truth: that's part of what makes the Force the Force. But the Dark Force chooses portions of the truth to tell, and others to keep hidden._

_So which part is true?_

_That, _Mace said, and his tone was kind, _is something only the Dark Force can answer. And plying the Dark Force is too risky._

_Know you cannot the meaning of the message you received, _Yoda sent. _Only seek to help Anakin can you. The rest is beyond our ken, and rightly so. If learned we did to understand the Dark Force deeply, worry about the future of the Jedi I would._

_Considering that the war's started, I'm already worried about that, _Obi-Wan answered. _And as far as helping Anakin, how can we take time apart so I can help him, and yet have time to do our duty in the Force?_

_Your first duty, after following the Force, is to prepare your padawan to be on his own, _Mace told him. _Whatever other duties you have can wait until that one is done. Do you understand?_

Obi-Wan nodded; Yoda sensed it in the Force. _Yes, Master. _He seemed a little comforted. _As soon as Anakin returns, I'll talk with him. There has to be a way I haven't tried._

_Bring him to us you also can. Help him we may be able to._

_Yes, Master. _A pause; Obi-Wan let go of much of his worry. _Thank you both._

But when Obi-Wan moved to sever the connection, Yoda sent, _Wait._

_Yes, Master?_

_You sense something about Anakin that you're not telling us. Besides his anger, _Mace answered. _Is it something you need to keep to yourself, or can you share it? The more you share, the more we might be able to help._

_It's nothing definite. He's hiding something from me. I don't know if it's just how hurt he is about the time I distanced myself from him, or something else. I'm planning to talk to him about that, too. _He sighed. _And about the shield he helped erect in my mind. _He sounded exhausted, emotionally instead of physically. _There is so much we have to fix; I feel it will never all get done. I know it will never happen if I don't start, but there's so much that's unknown between us. I feel like I hardly know him at all. I've never felt like this._

_Felt this way before you have. With Qui-Gon._

Obi-Wan blinked; his surprise ran down the link. Then: _Yes. It was so frustrating, not knowing what he would say or what he would do from moment to moment, not knowing if he was angry with me sometimes, or, when I made terrible mistakes, if he would ever forgive me. There were so many times I railed against the Force, asking why I'd been paired with a master I could barely understand, a man who scarcely talked, and who distanced himself from me while connecting to all the beings around us._ He stopped. _Is that what I'm like?_

_No, _Yoda answered. _Have your own flaws you do. Trust too slowly you do, and yet, once you believe in someone, find it hard to accept that he or she will change you do. That your biggest flaw is. Growing up Anakin is, and developed his own beliefs he has. Separate from yours they are, though share many of your deepest beliefs he does. And that sharing also a source of frustration for the two of you can be. _

_Because I don't like some of my beliefs, but I've passed them on to him. _Obi-Wan nodded. _I understand. But… There is still so much we need to fix. Can we ever work together as one?_

_Why do you want to be one? _Mace asked. _When you and Qui-Gon worked together, you were one of our best master-padawan teams precisely because you each thought differently. As much as you've always tried to follow orders, you often chose to follow those of the Council instead of those Qui-Gon gave you. That meant you saw things differently than he did, and even if you were never aware of it, he took your ideas and incorporated them into his plans, making his plans better. We never need two of the same Jedi: we need different Jedi working towards the same goal. So don't try to change Anakin's passions or the way his mind works: teach him your ways, as you have been, then sit back and watch what he does._

Obi-Wan nodded, whispered, "Yes." _I knew this lesson once; you taught it to me shortly before I became a master._ A pause, and, again, _Thank you. _Now _I'm ready to speak to him._

_True that is,_ Yoda answered. _But for now, head down to the pyre we should. Though time we still have, sense I do that asked something special you will be._

_Master? _

Yoda rose, calling his hover chair to him with the Force. He settled into it, smiling a little. _Come. See soon you will what I mean._

oOo

One hundred sixty-two Jedi had fallen in the arena on Geonosis. So many bodies had never been burned at one time, but it was decided that the Order would grieve as one.

They did not grieve alone. A few dignitaries- only three- attended as well, and so did some civilians who had close ties to the Jedi: Didi and his daughter, Astri among twenty others. These twenty had mingled among the Jedi, standing with those they knew. Five stood near Obi-Wan, though they didn't interfere with the small circle around him: Ryn-yn, Gareth, Arnen, Bant, Reeft, and Anakin. Padme stood to the right of these five, only two steps from Anakin, one of the dignitaries in her ceremonial headdress. The other two attending men-of-office were Bail Organa, representing not only Alderaan, but also the Chancellor, who could not attend, and the Crown Prince of Fregala, Yeneluk. Organa stood near Yoda and Mace; Yeneluk stood just outside the circle the surrounded Obi-Wan.

The gruesome sunrise, the bruised-orange herald of the first day of war, had faded, and the sky was pristine blue above the pyre. The dead were being burned on a wide rooftop, one of those near 500 Republica, specially given by the Chancellor for this purpose. Though most cremations happened at night, it was decided that this one would happen during the day, both because some Jedi would be leaving soon on missions and because there was a thought among those that had planned the ceremony that the deaths should be commemorated in sunlight. Yoda's words about the fall of the Dark Side's shroud, had been spoken by many others, and they had no desire to pay any sort of homage to Darkness just then, even if it was the natural darkness of evening.

Obi-Wan was conscious of those around him, but only dimly. He stood with his hands hidden inside the sleeves of his robe and his eyes closed. He could see all the bodies on the pyre through the Force; no need to physically look at them. Doing so would only make him cry. Likewise, he had greeted his extra-Jedi friends, but now he saw them only in the Light Force. He wasn't sure if he could meet any of their gazes. They had come to offer comfort, he knew, and not just for those that had died on Geonosis. Yeneluk, especially, had spoken words of comfort concerning Qui-Gon's death. Obi-Wan was relieved to find that he didn't collapse under the grief he felt for his lover; at last, it seemed, he was healing.

He couldn't sense Anakin, even though his padawan stood so close. Anakin's shields were firmly in place, and his attention was away from Obi-Wan. Reeft and Bant stood between the two of them, physical evidence of the distance between them, and though it hurt that Anakin wouldn't reach out to him, Obi-Wan didn't concentrate on this pain. There was so much other grief to be addressed.

And, beyond the grief, he'd been asked to say good-bye to each Jedi in his or her native language. He knew all the languages asked of him, though sometimes he only knew a few phrases. As the sun cleared the last row of buildings to the east and fell directly on the rooftop where they were all gathered, Yoda called him forward to speak. He bid farewell in twenty-three languages, using each Jedi's name. And though his voice roughened time and again, he cleared his throat and kept going. Each Jedi must be honored, and if he could do that with these words, let it be so. He could somehow manage what was expected of him. This was, after all, why he'd grieved with Yoda and Mace.

When all the names of the departed had been spoken- Yoda added Qui-Gon's name himself at the end because Obi-Wan hadn't known if it was appropriate, despite the words of Yeneluk and others- the pyre was lit. Some Jedi sang funeral songs and others spoke in verse. Obi-Wan had fallen silent and, feeling more mentally exhausted than he could ever remember feeling, knelt amid the circle of his friends and bowed his head. Though he didn't weep then, he spoke each name again in his mind, committing them to memory. These Jedi hadn't been meant to die, as Qui-Gon hadn't been meant o die. Yes, the Force might have ordained it, but so much grief wasn't right. How could it ever be right? He wasn't angry at the Force, but he posed this question, receiving in answer: _Death must sometimes occur, and it will never be easy, and many of these deaths can't be understood now, but know that they had to happen. _He asked why, but the Force's only answer was to send a wave of Light into his heart. He thanked It, then promised not to ask the question again for awhile. _Ask, Obi-Wan, _the Force answered, _but know that the answer will always be the same._

Bant and Reeft were kneeling with him, and he now became conscious of the fact that they'd been doing this for some time. Both of them were crying, and he moved so that he could wrap his arms around them as well. Their grief, and the grief of all those gathered there, ebbed and flowed like some great tide.

He found that words were rising to his lips, and to refuse them escape would be against not only the Light Force, but disrespectful to those who had passed. He thought to change the words, but he was told to keep the words just as he'd learned them, not only because there were others who had been as he and Qui-Gon once were, but because 'love' among the Jedi meant different things to different people.

All other singing had ceased, and though he longed to only sing so those around him could hear, the Force urged him to his feet and told him to open his mouth and let everything out. It wasn't right that he should try to keep the song personal or private; all needed to hear it.

"Love lie near me, Near enough to touch.

Love lie near me In the cool of the day.

Love lie near me And listen to a sad song,

One last sad song before I send you, I send you far and away.

Love lie near me, Sleep does call.

Love lie near me, Darkness bids us rest.

Love lie near me, In your sweet, eternal repose,

I'll lie near you when they, o love, when they sing my death.

Love lie near me, Darkness take the day.

Love lie near me, No more hold my hand.

Love lie near me, Kisses gone away.

Love, lie near me, no more shall, side by side, no more shall we stand.

Love lie not near me. Leave me, for I have no more rooshes to give you.

Love lay near me, Years upon years, and I never took Love up to walk with me.

Love left me; I gave no sweet nectar, no bird's song, no warm hand to hold.

Depart from me, Love, for I, lost and wandering, for you I can't hear or see.

Love you must leave me, Bretrayer I am.

Love you must leave me, I brought you night.

Love you must leave, No stars did I give you

Nor moon at night could I, did I? could I give for light.

Never again, Love, will we Walk among the trees.

Never again, Love, will we, Like lost children, cry.

Never again, Love, will we Be lost in each other's arms.

But always, Love, you are with me, lost, found or sleeping, alive or when we die.

Love lies near me, Every night holding me.

Love lies near me, Forgivness in his touch.

Love lies near me, Strength to my soul.

In the morning, love lifts me, at dawn's first pale light, love lifts me up."

There was a moment of silence, then, from his left, a soft echo from Yeneluk: "In the morning, love lifts me…"

He kept going, but, beside him and behind him, Didi and Astri took up the final line of the song. Then, to Obi-Wan's right and further to his left, all those who had assembled to seek and give comfort sang the final words until the words overwhelmed the noise of traffic above and below the rooftop. And with the rise of this last line of hope, Obi-Wan felt his tears come. He didn't cover his face, but raised his eyes to the sky and let his tears flow freely. And, lifting his hands, he shouted each name of the departed, ending with, "Garen! Siri! Qui-Gon!"

The shield in his mind cracked, splintered, fell, and though the voice returned- _Move on_- the words were, for the first time, comforting, and he realized, also for the first time, that the voice came completely from the Force. Not from his own confusion, the Light Force alone, or from the Darkness, but from the Great Force, the one that would make balance possible in the galaxy, the Sustainer and Guide and Great Comforter.

He still didn't completely know what the words meant, but the fact that they were a soft murmur instead of a roar told him that he'd already done some of what the Force wanted. "Thank you, Force," he whispered, and, again, his words were taken up by those around him, though only by Jedi. It wasn't that the rest didn't want to thank the Force, but, not being able to sense It, they thought it might almost seem sacrilegious.

An hour later, the pyre was burning low, and the Jedi began to clump together and retreat. Obi-Wan stayed where he was, though he watched Anakin leave with Padme. Anakin glanced at him once before departing, and though his shields were still up, he managed a smile and his eyes were less troubled. Then he was gone.

Ryn-yn and Gareth drifted off together; Nela and Arnen did the same. Ferus appeared and moved away with Reeft. Bant stayed with Obi-Wan, holding his hand and watching the last of the flames. She seemed to want to speak, but before she could, Yeneluk approached and she stepped back, giving Obi-Wan a moment of privacy with the Prince.

Obi-Wan bowed more deeply than he had when the prince first arrived. "Thank you for coming, Your Highness."

Yeneluk took Obi-Wan's hands in his. "It has been too long, Oie-Wan. I have wanted to speak to you of Qui-Gon's death, and I haven't been able, until now, to get away. I didn't want to send any message over the space channels. Those among my people who are sensitive to The Force tell me it was The Force that compels me to keep the dreams I have received to myself until I could speak with you."

Obi-Wan glanced around, seeing that they were basically alone. "Can you talk here, Your Highness, or should we go into the Temple?"

Yeneluk sighed. "I want to find a place where we will be completely alone. If the dreams are wrong, I don't want to hurt any more people than I must." Again, a sigh. "And it seems wrong that I should bring this news to you, who will be most affected by it. But The Force compels me, and I am here."

Obi-Wan said, "It is our duty to follow the Force; don't think about sparing me anything." He gestured away from the pyre. "This way. We'll speak in my rooms."

Bant spoke before they took too many steps. "Do you need Reeft and me to come to you later?"

Obi-Wan blinked, reminded of the promise he'd made on Dagobah to seek help if he needed it. He hadn't kept that promise well. "I'll come to the two of you," he said. "I think we all need help now."

She nodded. "We'll meet you two hours before sunset by my pool."

'Her pool'. The one she'd loved when they were padawans. The one she had almost died in the one time Xanatos had laid siege to the Temple. Obi-Wan nodded. "I'll be there."

She tried to tease him, but her eyes were somber. "See that you are, Master Kenobi." Then she turned away.

"She is a good friend to you," Yeneluk said when they were walking over the nearest extendable bridge. "I'm glad you have good friends. We all need them."

Obi-Wan, not sure what to say, simply nodded.

Yeneluk went on, "We weren't given the time to become friends, Oie-Wan but I wish us to be friends now. I beheld Qui-Gon's sadness when you were near death; I know you feel sadness now, and I wish to help, if I can." He laughed suddenly. "I don't mean to sound so stilted, but this isn't easy for me. I don't know how to speak to a grieving Jedi, or maybe I don't know all the right words in Basic."

Obi-Wan asked in Fregalan, "What do you want to say?"

Yeneluk laughed again, and lapsed into his own language. "I didn't know you spoke our tongue! You didn't when last you were on my world."

"I learned it five or six years ago." He didn't want to admit that he'd been learning several languages at that time as he sought distraction from his need to see Qui-Gon. "I can understand you, but only if you don't speak too quickly."

"The song you sang was just what I want to say: we don't believe that those who die in The Force truly die, but that they go to a place beyond our understanding. I want you to know that all the Jedi who are gone are still with you, and that if they can help you, will do everything in their power in that way."

A longing rose in Obi-Wan's breast to believe as the prince believed, to cast everything aside that he'd been taught and just have faith. But his beliefs couldn't be changed so easily. He wiped at a tear that trickled down his cheek. "Thank you for telling me."

"You may not believe it now, but when you die, you will see."

"May I ask, Your Highness, how you know?"

"Many family members have spoken to me in my dreams, and the words they said weren't things I would have expected of them, thus the messages weren't just my own mind, and they maintain an existence after death."

Logical, but Obi-Wan still couldn't believe. He nodded again. They continued in silence until they reached Obi-Wan's rooms. He gestured for the prince to sit, and asked if he wanted anything to drink.

"No, thank you. The Force is telling me I must give you this news, that time is not on our side." He motioned to a place beside him on the couch. "Please sit."

Obi-Wan did.

The prince took his hands. "Forgive me for any pain this causes, but The Force commands that I say it: Qui-Gon is alive on a planet far from here. You were once asked to go after him, but now The Force will tell him when he must leave and where he must go. You will not seek him out, and you will continue in the path you are meant to, but The Force wishes you to know that he is alive. You rescued him, then forgot."

"But-" Obi-Wan stopped, made himself think before speaking. "Is he really alive?" A strange emotion kindled in his heart, one he couldn't understand.

"Yes. The Force also asks me to pass on this message: move on. Move on as you have been. You won't see Qui-Gon for many years, or maybe never again." A pause. "And The Force commands that you tell no one of your knowledge. All must believe Qui-Gon is dead."

_Then why did the Force tell me?_ But Obi-Wan realized Yeneluk probably wasn't privy to this information. And without that question, he found he had no others, or none that he could lay bare here and now. "Thank you for telling me," he said. "And for keeping this news to yourself."

Yeneluk nodded. He squeezed Obi-Wan's hands. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure at first what to say, but then the Force spoke through him: "Fight the Darkness. It is rising. The war between the Republic and the Separatists has begun. Fighting the Darkness doesn't mean fighting the Separatists; that's only a very small part of it. Keep your people free as long as you can. The Empire will rise; keep your people from the Empire." He blinked, coming back to himself. He traced that last sentence in his mind, then said, "I don't know what empire the Force speaks of, but those were Its words, not mine. In time, we may both learn their meaning."

"You are a wise man, Oie-Wan. I'm glad to know you now before the Darkness comes." Again, he squeezed Obi-Wan's hands, then he stood. "I can't stay, and I think-"

The chimes on Obi-Wan's door rang, and the master rose. Taking a few steps towards the door, he called, "Come in."

A young page from the Senate stood before him. "Your presence is requested on the Senate floor, Master Jedi."

Obi-Wan nodded. He could hear the urgency in the young Twi'lek's voice. Turning to the prince, he said, "I will walk out with you, Your Highness." He strode to the shelf by the door, caught up a small bag and slipped it into his pocket. He didn't know what the contents of the bag would be used for; the Force simply compelled him to take it.

At the front entrance to the Temple, they parted. Bant, who seemed to have been waiting there with her padawan, offered to show the prince back to the platform where he'd left his ship. Before she turned away with him, she met Obi-Wan's gaze. She raised an eyebrow at him, nodding a little towards the page.

Obi-Wan shrugged; he hadn't yet figured out why the page seemed so nervous.

She said, "May the Force be with you."

He answered, "And with you. Both of you."

Yeneluk nodded a bow, then turned and went with Bant and Nela.

The page was practically dancing in place. "Please, Master Jedi, hurry." He started off at once, and Obi-Wan had to jog a little to keep up with him.

"What is it?" the Jedi asked as they started across the bridge between the Temple and the rotunda. "Who sent for me?"

The page glanced at him, then dropped back a little so he could whisper in Obi-Wan's ear. "No one. I heard the war talks starting, and I know you believe in peace. Even if we still have an army, we can still avoid this war." He bit his lip. "I've been listening to Senator Organa and Senator Amidala. They're right. Peace needs to be tried still." He was in danger of splitting his lip, so desperately was he chewing at it. "You're the only one who can stop the clones leaving, Master. The Senators won't listen to anyone else."

Obi-Wan felt the full power of the young Twi'lek's fear and hope. He said, "Let the Force be with us." Then he started jogging again, and now it was the page who had to keep up.

And, in the back of his mind, Qui-Gon's voice: _Move on. _Could it really be Qui-Gon, reaching out to him from far away? If he wasn't dead, it could be him. It could be. That strong, strange emotion coursed through Obi-Wan again, and he thought, _Force, be with Qui-Gon. Be with him and let him know how much I want to see him._

_Move on_ was the Force's only answer.

oOo

Padme asked, "Have you made peace with Obi-Wan yet?"

It was the same question she'd asked him on the ship back from Geonosis. Now they were packing the last of her things. Or rather, she was packing, and Anakin was standing by the windows. So much had changed since the last time he stood here that he could hardly credit it. He'd become a murderer. He'd watched Obi-Wan fall into Darkness, or what he'd thought was Darkness at the time. Now, about that at least, he wasn't so sure. Obi-Wan's words- _the Force told me to surrender my body to him and to try and save him. Bring him back from the Dark Side_- were at last starting to make a little sense. He still wasn't sure he could give what Obi-Wan had, but-

_But I did. I fought Adee off, but I gave myself to him, too. Not then, but later, when I decided not to talk to Obi about it, when I decided to just ignore it. _The horror of that attack rolled over him, but Anakin pushed it down. He didn't need anyone to tell him how much he needed to forget the rape. If he didn't, he might start dwelling on it, letting it affect him. And if it affected him, weakened him, how could he be here for others?

Forcing all memories of the rape- _not a rape; it was an invasion, but nothing so shattering as rape; I was able to survive it without any nightmares and very little pain, so it _was not rape- down, he answered Padme, "Not yet, but I've made peace with my anger. You and I depart in two hours; I'll apologize before we leave." He turned away from her before speaking again. He didn't want to see her reaction to his next words. "I've decided not to love him. Not with war coming. One of us might die." That was half the reason. And the other half: being in love with someone meant, eventually, sharing yourself with them. And though he wasn't afraid of the physical meaning of that phrase, he dreaded revealing all his secret longings and suffering to Obi-Wan.

She said, "Isn't it better to have love with risk than no love?"

He came back to himself, and, reminding himself that he'd only spoken half the truth to her, stuck to that truth alone. "No. It would be all right for me if we were in love and he died; I'd get help somehow. But what if he lost another lover? I can't do that to him. Losing Qui-Gon almost drove him mad."

"Shouldn't you let him make that decision? He _is_ old enough to look after himself. And to become a master, he must have gained knowledge you don't know about."

She was, as ever, able to strike at the heart of the issue. He didn't, in his heart, want to let Obi-Wan make that decision, because his wise master might make the wrong choice. "Yes, but if he doesn't love me, or if he wants to risk it and doesn't calculate how much it will hurt, I'll have led him to pain, or at least to the end of our friendship. I won't hurt him, and I won't end what we've had to fight so hard to keep. Despite all my mistakes, he still cares for me, and I don't want to change that."

"He wouldn't stop caring just because you tell him how you feel. That doesn't sound at all like the Obi-Wan I know."

He sighed. She was right. Again. But he wouldn't back down on this. Let her think him stubborn; he wouldn't risk hurting Obi-Wan or leaving himself vulnerable. "It would make things uncomfortable. We need each other. We need to know we can depend on each other as we did before. With a war coming, there's no time for love."

She sighed, and he heard her snap her suitcase closed. "I wish you didn't believe that so strongly. There is always time for love."

"Not for us. We're meant to be friends, but never lovers."

oOo

Anakin opened his communicator, thinking to contact Obi-Wan that way. They could meet in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. That would be a good place for this apology. But when he signaled, he received only this silent run of text across his screen: _In session with Senate. Contact the Temple for assistance._

Anakin groaned. _He's back there already? Shouldn't he be back in our quarters? Or at least with the younglings? Why does he have to dive right back into politics? And why didn't he contact me before heading back in there? I told him where I'm going; why didn't he return the favor?_

He realized he was little more than annoyed, and he released the feeling. He could still talk to Obi-Wan; he could even go to the Senate and call his master off the floor for a few minutes.

The Force stopped him, saying, _He has a job to do._

Anakin sighed. _Fine. I'll wait until I come back then. _He started to stuff his communicator into his pocket, then saw a new line of text had appeared on the screen: _If this is Anakin, I wish you a safe journey, and may the Force be with you. When you return, no matter when you return, I'll drop what I'm doing so we can talk_.

_Oh. _Anakin felt slightly foolish for his earlier irritation. He tucked the communicator away. _As soon as I come back, I have his word we'll talk. _He breathed easier for that.

On the other hand, did he really want to be feeling Obi-Wan's frustration at the Senate all the way to Naboo? Anakin knew he wouldn't feel it all that way, but he would at least be able to sense it until he cleared the atmosphere. _I'll keep my shields up until we make the jump to hyperspace, _he decided.

But why not keep them up a little longer? He had a very strong desire to be alone with his thoughts. Since he wouldn't be able to sense Obi-Wan anyway, why did he need to be reaching out to the Force just now? He could spend some time on the trip figuring out what he would say to Obi-Wan.

And, so resolved, Anakin kept his shields up and turned his mind to the best way to apologize, and yet still maintain a little distance from Obi-Wan. The biggest danger would be letting his master get too close. Obi-Wan was perceptive; Anakin would need to be on his guard, or all his planning wouldn't do him any good.

Last Peace Before the War

"When each youngling becomes a padawan in the Temple, the first lesson that must be learned is that we are all one. Not just padawans and masters, but Jedi, Senators, and the people of all races. Most children are raised at Temple not so they will be ignorant to the ideas of family, or the strong connections forged by shared blood and traditions, but so that they will learn that being one with those around you goes beyond differences in race, species, ideals or religion."

Obi-Wan stood on the floating platform he'd been given. He turned in place, meeting the gazes of many angry and worried Senators. He reached out to all of them with the Living Force, seeking to know their hearts as he knew his own. The Force around some Senators was alive with Darkness, and it was towards these men and women especially that Obi-Wan directed his attention.

"Many of you knew and respected my former master, Qui-Gon Jinn."

"We were all sorry to hear of his death," Palpatine interrupted.

The attention of many Senators shifted to the Chancellor.

Obi-Wan bowed to him and sent out a wave of Light Force so strong that he could almost hear it singing. "Thank you. He was taught this same belief in unification. It was a struggle for him to understand because he believed strongly in the purpose of the Force, and at first couldn't see why anyone without the Force should be treated as on a level with the Jedi. Not a good belief for a future Knight to hold. When Qui-Gon's master learned of his apprentice's belief, he said, 'The Force does not make us better or worse than other beings, but able to strengthen the bonds that unite all people. Cooperation, our greatest tool, sometimes fueled by the Force and sometimes only by how much we care for the lives of others, is the milk of Creation. When the universe was formed- how ever it was formed- energy, elements and temperature all worked together for the common good. Cooperation was most likely not a conscious thing, but it did exist. The worlds were created because heat cooperated with gravity and with the vacuum of space." He raised his eyes, catching a look of disregard on the face of a Senator from Vel Three. "Any scientist knows that gravity creates pressure, and pressure creates heat. By all accounts, the very soil our buildings are planted on, the very air we breathe, should be the flames of a fiery sun. Why does the vacuum of space allow some stars for burn for billions of years, and yet lets spheres of rock form, and then cool, and eventually support life? Cooperation. Conscious or unconscious, planned or by chance, cooperation made the galaxy as we know it.' So spoke my master's master over fifty years ago, but it is still true."

The Senator he'd been speaking to seemed to accept this. Obi-Wan smiled at him, and held up his hand. Above his palm floated a dozen tiny globes of light. They were a younglings' toy he'd borrowed to demonstrate peaceful co-existence to Anakin years ago, and had always forgotten to return. He set the globes to spinning around one another. As they moved, they began to change shape. "Cells cooperate to make up a body. Without cells working together, no one can live." The globes moved closer together, and their glowing intensified. "On a very simple level, blood picks up oxygen in the lungs, carrying away the unused materials the cells in our lungs- like every cell- produce. Then the blood carries the oxygen to all other cells, at last returning, exhausted and in need of oxygen itself, to the lungs for renewal." The globes were fusing together now. Obi-Wan turned in a slow circle so that all in the rotunda could see. "We are all like the blood in our bodies, and we are all like the cells which are nourished by it. Think of what you are standing on. Some of the material under your feet is mined on one planet, refined on another, transported here by a third race, and was placed here by a fourth. The rest was forged from recycled paracrete by still others."

He lifted his hand above his head, showing the globes now. They had fused together and melted, forming a Twi'lek. Obi-Wan lowered his hand, blew on the globes and they changed again. This time he showed a Fregalan. A third blow, and a man hovered above his palm. A fourth, final puff, and they changed to tiny model of the solar system Coruscant lived in.

"All energy, all cells, all people, planets, and systems, are one, meant to work as one and to engage in cooperation. No one can stand without the others, no matter how tenuous the connection between them might be. Just as you could not stand or sit where you are today without the help of millions, so the Republic can't stand without each system." He reached into the tiny solar system on his palm and, with the Force, extracted one of the spheres, intact. Instantly, the rest of the solar system collapsed, lying on Obi-Wan's palm like a glob of melted wax. Obi-Wan stood completely still for a moment, his hand raised so that all could see. Then, gently, he placed the sphere back in his other hand. At once, the solar system sprang up, good as new.

There were murmurs all around him.

"Of course, the Republic can't be so easily mended, but neither can it be so easily destroyed. There is still a chance for peace, a chance to keep all the spheres working together in harmony."

"But, Young Jedi," said Investigator Bralin, rising from where he sat to the Chancellor's right, "the Republic isn't in harmony now. It hasn't been for years."

"True, but it didn't fall out of grace in a night," Obi-Wan returned. He heard the murmurs of Senators agreeing with Bralin and smiled. The Force was singing all around him and inside him; the Force would win a victory this day, gain a step towards balance. "Many decisions have brought us to this point, some that seemed only right at the time. The Jedi have a saying: make one decision, make another. You can't undo any choice you've already made. We know our past: peace, though not perfect, has reigned for a thousand years. We can invite peace to remain here." He produced the small bag from his pocket and, after blowing on the tiny solar system one last time, dropped the globes inside. "It all depends on what the Separatists are fighting. Are they fighting democracy or corruption? Have any systems who are considering leaving, or have already left, spoken of finding one leader to rule them all? No. They only seek an end to the lugubrious and endless debates that sometimes occur in this very room."

He sighed. "I'm not blaming you. The Jedi have had our share of troubles with bureaucracy. If you ever wish to hear of our past failings and how we struggled towards a better day, I will gladly give you access to our archives. For now, let me give an example closer to home. Coruscant, before it ever became the meeting place of the Senate, or one of the Core Worlds of the Republic, was divided against itself. Granted, this was a thousand and six score years ago, but I'm sure you all have examples from your own past, some more distant, some not. Coruscant was divided not by religion or race, but by the ideals of how best to ensure peace and prosperity for all. Does this sound familiar?"

A quiet chuckle from a few; Obi-Wan was pleased to mark Bail Organa and the Senators from Fregala, Corellia and Lun'eh IV among them.

"They decided, after battling each other in public forums and actually sending out hit men to 'persuade' the opposition, that for all concerns to be heard, a Senate had to be created where all could voice their opinions. But even in the beginning, when this idea was first coming to light, it was realized that bribes and corruption might rule the day if each and every Senator was not entreated upon to remember that, first and foremost, the survival of their people as a species and as a united world must take precedence.

"That's what I ask you to remember. Corruption is a part of our lives. It exists when we are children trying to convince our parents- or our intimidating Jedi masters-" another chuckle- "that we should be allowed to have an extra sweet or six, and it exists as we struggle to weigh our needs and the needs of our families against those of the rest of the galaxy. Many of you have never spoken to each other, and so have not had a chance to see things from another's point of view. I invite you to do so. The galaxy is a huge place, but no matter where you are in it, all of you share one thing in common: the galaxy is our home. And just as you don't want to see your home polluted, soiled or even disrespected, remember that all others feel as you do. Corruption is an evil that exists, but it isn't one we must embrace. Instead, embrace cooperation."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Bralin demanded. "We've cut the corruption here in the Senate- you and I have done much of that work- but the Separatists haven't all come back."

"Some have," Obi-Wan answered, "and no more systems have left. As-"

"So you're saying we should cut our losses and keep going?" another Senator shouted. Other Senators were grumbling.

Obi-Wan sent out a strong wave of Living Force. It boosted the volume of his voice effortlessly. He sounded as though he'd been given a microphone. Calmly, he answered, "As to the rest, we can still bring them back. But not by force." The grumbling had quieted. "The Separatists are against corruption, not democracy. We can show them our progress, invite them to help solve the problems they still see here. With less corruption, their problems will be solved faster. I propose a summit, where representatives from as many worlds as wish to attend can meet with the Separatists. Each side- the Senate and the systems following Count Dooku- will choose a negotiator. These negotiators will work together, in the presence of all, and with input from both sides, to bring the Separatists back into the Republic." He spread his hands. "And if there are those among you who think that Count Dooku cannot be reached, please remember this: Count Dooku was not only once a Jedi, but he was also once Qui-Gon Jinn's master, the same man that spoke those eternal words you heard from my lips only a minute ago. Any man who has believed in cooperation once can be brought back to that belief again."

"Would the Jedi be willing to serve as our negotiator?" Ogana called.

"Gladly," Obi-Wan answered. "We have always been peacemakers, not warriors. The pursuit of lightsaber techniques is only a seven-hundred-year-old art, unlike the art of peaceful negotiation, which is a thousand five hundred years strong."

"Young Jedi," Palpatine said, "you are trading in ideals and fantasies. Peace is our shared goal, but you can't get there by talking while you're being shot at. We need the army's protection, or the slaughter that happened on Geonosis will happen again. I understand you were almost killed, and many of your closest friends died."

Siri's dying gaze blazed in Obi-Wan's mind; he sensed that this image had come both from his own mind and from the Dark Force that was still in the room. Banishing the image and surrounding himself in Light, Obi-Wan answered, "The Separatists fired on the Jedi because they felt threatened, not because they want us, or the Republic, dead. They just want change." His met the gazes of many Senators. "Talk and immediate _peaceful _actions taken will give them change, and they'll return." He had one last card to play. "How many of you have children that might fight in this war? Wouldn't you rather take a chance on peace? The army will always be there. It can be used to protect ships that are attacked by the Trade Federation, or to help disaster victims! It can be a Peace Group instead of an army."

More murmurs, and Obi-Wan sensed the general tide turning.

Then the Dark Force surged, and Obi-Wan, instinctively, reached for his lightsaber. His weapon wasn't at his side. It hadn't been since Palpatine asked him to come, unarmed, to the Senate.

The first blaster shot destroyed the controls of the floating platform he stood on so that it couldn't be taken down to the floor. The second went over his head, but only because he had dropped into a crouch. There were scarcely any walls on the floating platform as there were for most of the ones the Senators sat or stood in. Obi-Wan had been led to this one when he finally won the right to speak (which had taken two hours).

More bolts were coming. With no weapon and no walls for protection, Obi-Wan did the only thing he could: he jumped. The platform was forty meters off the floor, but with the Force, he'd jumped greater heights.

Darkness swirled around him, trying to disrupt the Light current that was bearing him, gently, to the floor below. Obi-Wan called the Light around him, using it as a shield. He landed gracefully even as the Dark Force roared its frustration in his ears. Calling the Living Force around him again, Obi-Wan shouted, "Get down!" The command was necessary. Most of the Senators had only been staring in horror, completely unaware that they might be the next targets.

As the Senators obeyed, more shots were fired. Obi-Wan didn't have anywhere to hide. He dodged the next bolt, but the next caught him in the shoulder. Still he tried to anticipate the next, but he couldn't escape it. Seven more shots were fired. He was struck once in the chest, once in the abdomen, once in the hand he brought up to the wound in his chest, and once, a grazing blow, on the side of his head. The other three shots struck him in his legs as he fell.

He called on the Light Force to shield him and to send a feeling of concern to Anakin or to anyone at Temple. _Twice near death in less than a week, _he thought. _The Dark Force really wants me gone. But why? What blow am I meant to strike in the name of the Light Force?_

_Obi-Wan! _called a voice he knew, but in the midst of pain, couldn't recognize. _Live you must._

Obi-Wan passed out, descending not into Darkness but rising into Light.

oOo

It had gone just as he wished, though he secretly had hoped for instant death. As it was, the Jedi below was so close to death's door that it would only take one more bolt, probably, to kill him. But the snipers had run; they'd only agreed to fire a limited number of shots, and though many of those had been wasted, they wouldn't fire more. Too risky, they'd said, and he hadn't argued because it had been hard enough to convince them to take the chance of going against a Jedi, even an unarmed one.

_The first thing I must destroy when I come to full power is the reputation of the Jedi, _Sidious thought.

To the guards that stood around him, he called, "Find the shooter! And get the young Jedi to his Temple! Only the Jedi medics can help him now!" And as the guards ran off, the Sith turned his eyes to the Senators who were peeking over their boxes at him. He adopted a grieving tone. "This young Jedi's injuries are only the first. Peace cannot meet violence. Logic says we must stop the violence any way we can before more people are killed."

Many Senators cheered, though not as many as he'd hoped.

Obi-Wan Kenobi had done some damage to the unified Senate Sidious had been working towards for years. And he'd done it in less than ten minutes. The Sith cursed the Jedi's name.

oOo

Their ship had just landed, and Anakin was handing Padme out. Not that she needed the help, but he wanted to show some of his gratitude for all she'd done for him, and he couldn't think of another way at the moment. He knew he would eventually thank her, but just now, she was still slightly miffed at him that he wasn't going to tell Obi-Wan how he felt. Their journey together had been just a touch frosty.

When she stood beside him, she asked, "Will you head back now?"

He nodded.

"Good. And while you're flying, rethink-"

Anakin's communicator beeped. He tapped it. "Anakin here."

Reeft's voice came back: "Anakin, come home right now. Obi-Wan was shot in the Senate." Reeft's voice roughened and he coughed. "He's near death. Please come back."

Anakin's hand shook so badly he nearly dropped the communicator. Only Padme gripping his wrist, holding him steady, kept this from happening. "What about the medics? Aren't they helping him?"

"Yes, but he was hit eight times. The damage is extensive." Again, Reeft cleared his throat. "Reach out to him as you and I did. He needs your strength. We're all giving everything we can, but you're the Chosen One; your connection to the Force is a tidal wave instead of the streams we can give. Help him." He cut the link.

Anakin didn't glance at Padme, but leapt back into the ship. He might have just closed the canopy and let it go at that, but she shouted, "Save him, Anakin!"

He glanced out at her, saw that she was close to tears. He gestured her back, and as she retreated at a run, he fired the engines and lifted off.

_How does he inspire such love and loyalty in her? They barely know each other? _But he could answer that: Obi-Wan's charms, all the more powerful because the Jedi Master seemed unaware of them, had worked on Padme the same way they'd worked on Anakin.

Heading through the atmosphere, Anakin thought, feeling the bitterness in his heart, _What's wrong with me? _He sensed the flood of his bitterness rising, and he struggled to tamp it down. But it refused.

Remembered words came to him: _Take the emotion apart and deal with it a little at a time. _He had three hours to wait before he could reach Coruscant, and before he could even think about _reaching_ for Obi-Wan, he knew he needed to be rid of his feelings. _Just please live until I figure out what's wrong, _he thought at Obi-Wan, knowing his master couldn't hear him. _Just please live._

He lined his ship up for the hyperspace jump, and then, when the computer took over and he was in hyperspace, Anakin closed his eyes and tried to sink into half-meditation. He couldn't; the bitterness was too strong. Opening his eyes, he demanded, "Why am I like this? I'm jealous that she cares about him so much. Why?"

The answer came, and though he didn't like it, he knew it at once to be true: he was jealous of Padme because she could easily love Obi-Wan. No matter that she was a woman, that Obi-Wan wasn't attracted to women, that she was a senator, which Obi-Wan also barely trusted, or that she was not a Jedi. The fact remained that she could love him.

How many others had loved Obi-Wan unconditionally on first sight? The prince from that long-ago mission had loved a younger Obi-Wan. And surely the Crown Prince from Fregala hadn't just come to pay his respects. He and Obi-Wan had disappeared before the ceremony was over; where had they gone? And what had they been doing?

And there had to be others. Yes, many had been led to Obi-Wan in order to rape or molest him, but surely just as many had been drawn to him because of his raw magnetism mixed with a developed compassion and approachability that were impossible to resist. And even if he hadn't allowed potential lovers to get too close because he was with Qui-Gon at the time, he was free now, wasn't he? And despite the tears he'd shed beside the pyre, Anakin thought Obi-Wan's intense grieving for Qui-Gon might at last be fading. Might he not start seeking the comfort of others now that he was more himself? Obi-Wan had a loving heart. Anakin had felt that from the first. So what was to stop him from allowing himself to be loved by others, and giving love in return? Nothing.

The logical response to this should have been: _Well, I'll tell him of my love then. He'll love me as I love him._ But his fear of revealing his weakness was still very strong, and so he couldn't think of submitting himself to a full scrutiny by his master that a confession of love would entail. Even if Obi-Wan didn't seek to know all his secrets right away, they could come to light long before Anakin was ready. He couldn't risk that.

So, his bitterness towards Padme was caused by jealousy, and his jealousy was based in fact: Obi-Wan was a loving person, and many people loved him. Even if none of those Anakin had named showed up to sweep Obi-Wan off his feet, there would be others. They flocked to him like glis-li to their flowers. And his jealousy was made even sharper by the fact that he couldn't confess his own love.

Now, knowing all that, what could he do? He could let go of his bitterness, and this he felt slipping away. Good. Next: how could he rid himself of his jealousy? He couldn't see a way to ever accept someone else loving Obi-Wan, no matter how selfish this was or how much that person cared for Obi-Wan and always vowed to protect him. Then he would have to apply logic to each potential love-interest. Padme: well, she was on Naboo, and though she had been worried for Obi-Wan, she hadn't shown a lover's desperate need to be with him. So she wasn't a threat. Yet. But 'yet' was all he needed; that bit of jealousy faded and was gone. On to the prince from that distant world. He hadn't come after Obi-Wan; what were the chances that he should ever do so? Slim bordering on none. So, that jealousy, too, was gone. What of the Crown Prince? Where had he gone with Obi-Wan, and what had they discussed? Both questions Anakin couldn't answer, so how was he to reassure himself enough that this jealousy, too, might fade?

He puzzled over this for a full minute before the answer came: Obi-Wan needed him, maybe desperately. Couldn't he forget this jealousy for as long as it took to bring Obi-Wan back from the brink? And when Obi-Wan was awake, Anakin would confront him with the question of his interest in the Crown Prince. Obi-Wan would always be honest with his padawan, no matter that sometimes he thought he must shield Anakin from things. Not knowing that Anakin was in love with him, he would see no reason to tell anything but the truth.

Able to release all distractions at last, Anakin dropped his shields with the intention of _reaching_ immediately. But he didn't need to; he at once sensed Obi-Wan's flickering life force as if the older man had been sitting right beside him. The feeling was so strong that Anakin gasped and clutched the edges of his seat to keep himself anchored in the physical world as well as that of the Force. _Obi! _he screamed through the Force, but thought he was almost sure his voice had carried to Coruscant, he received no reply. Obi-Wan must be too weak to answer. Anakin's heartbeat doubled, then dropped back a little. Sweat broke out on his brow and he leaned back against the chair and sent his energy along the open path, praying it would reach Obi-Wan and strengthen him.

He received this answer from the Force: _You can't help him from where you are. You must be close to him to help._

Anakin gritted his teeth, sat up straight, and demanded, "Why do you take everyone I care about, and yet insist that I follow you? You give me power and strength and the ability to sense when the ones I love are in danger, then you let them die, and still you insist that I honor you!" He wanted to add that he would never honor the Force the way it seemed to expect him to, but before he could say anything close to that, the Force spoke in his mind, and it sounded as passionate as he felt, though its tone reflected surety and belief rather than anger.

_If you reach him in time, he will not die. And he must live; he is part of the balance that will be restored. _

"And you're still not going to answer me, are you?"

No answer."

Anakin threw up his hands. His need to save Obi-Wan was like a fire in his blood, and he didn't care just then what the Force demanded or didn't explain, as long as it let him save Obi-Wan. This wouldn't be like his mother; he wouldn't _let _it be. "Fine! How do I save him?"

_You must trust in me. You are the vessel; I am the healing water. _

"I can't just trust that fast and fully." He wanted to cry. The Force seemed to demand Obi-Wan-level devotion. If that was the only way his love could be saved, what was the padawan supposed to do?

But this time, the Force answered his unspoken question. _Either you trust or you don't, and it doesn't take years. You believe I speak the truth about Obi-Wan, that you can save him; trust that. The rest will come. _

"And then you'll answer the rest of my questions and stop commanding me to follow you without resistance and expecting nothing in return?"

Again, the Force didn't answer.

"Fine," Anakin grumbled again, turning his eyes to the ship's controls. In his mind, Obi-Wan's life force flickered still, but no worse than it had before. "Anything for him."

oOo

Anakin sprinted from his ship into the Temple. He felt the Temple's calmness around him and tried to absorb it as he ran. But he didn't slow his pace. When he reached the lift at the end of the hall and it was on its way down, he breathed in and out rapidly, bouncing on the balls of his feet in an attempt to quell some of the fear that was rising inside him. The tension and fear wouldn't go. When the lift opened, he was sprinting again. He sensed that he was nearing other Jedi and he hoped only that they wouldn't stop him or even slow him down. He raced towards, then across, several hallway intersections, not even glancing to right or left to make sure that he wasn't about to collide with someone. He relied on his feelings to know how close the others were. And when he did sense a group of younglings coming up a left-hand corridor ten steps ahead, he shouted, "Stop!" bending towards them a little Force-command as well as the natural tone of command that came to his voice. He sensed them stop, and when he ran past, he didn't bother to take in their startled expressions.

He knew he'd be forced to stop once he entered the medical center itself, but he thought he might be able to talk them into letting him past after a perfunctory admonishment. Then, spotting the doors to the main medical center, he saw that it would take more than a breath of contrition. Reeft was standing there, and with him were Yoda and Mace. Sighing, pushing his needs down as far as he could, Anakin slowed to a walk and came to a stop before them. He made his breathing quiet, not a difficult task, and didn't allow himself to clench his hands or bounce on the balls of his feet, a much harder task. And he made his voice come out calmly. "Please let me see Master Obi-Wan. The Force said I can help him."

"True," Yoda answered. "But first, calm yourself you must."

Anakin tried not to let on how impossible a task he thought that to be. He could feel Obi-Wan's very heartbeat now, stuttering and far too fast, and he couldn't imagine making his own heart stop jumping about in sympathy.

"You can't help him if you don't calm yourself," Mace said. "This is your first true task as the Chosen One. None of us can help him. His life is in your hands, so unless you calm down, none will be able to help him."

Mace's words made Anakin feel both sick and lost. He turned his eyes to Reeft, seeking some comfort. In his mind, Obi-Wan's breathing grew more and more ragged.

Reeft approached and put his hands on Anakin's shoulders. "Let go of all you feel from him. I feel it, too, but reach out and see how calm I am."

"How can you be, knowing he could die? Knowing that it might soon be just you and Bant left of the group the five of you made?" Anakin's hands were shaking and no matter how he tried to reach out to Reeft, he couldn't feel the older Jedi's composure. "Please tell me," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I don't mean any disrespect. All I want is to save him."

"Change your words. All you want to do is obey the Force."

"No! The Force let my mother die. All I want is for Obi to live!"

Reeft shook Anakin until the padawan's teeth clicked together. "The Force wants Obi-Wan to live; I've been told as much. Haven't you?"

Anakin nodded. "But-"

Reeft's eyes glowed like hot coals. "Shut your mouth and listen." His words started coming faster and faster, so quickly that if Anakin hadn't been at least partly relying on the Force already, he wouldn't have understood what he was being told. And it didn't matter that Anakin didn't know he was depending on the Force. The Force just needed him to be quiet and listen. As it had strengthened Obi-Wan's voice, it kept Reeft's rapid-fire speech intelligible. "It doesn't matter if you've never trusted the Force fully before or if you feel you'll never trust it. Who cares if you've never thought to obey it like it was your true master? What matters now is that the Force and you want the same thing. And so, you're thinking, it shouldn't matter if you want to follow your own heart or the Force, but it does matter. If you agree to follow the Force, you'll let go of all your preconceptions about what's got to happen for your desires to be carried out. You must want only to obey the Force." He leaned close to Anakin's face. "When Mace said this is your first task as the Chosen One, he was serious. And as the Chosen One, you are not Anakin Skywalker anymore, with Anakin Skywalker's needs or Anakin Skywalker's desires. You are the Vessel and Vassal of the Force. Try to be anything else, and Obi-Wan will be lost to you."

A strange miracle was taking place: as Anakin focused on Reeft's fast words, his heartbeat began to slow, taking his breathing down to a much more normal level, so that by the time Reeft reached the end of this speech, Anakin's body was in a state near to that which he would have reached in meditation. When Reeft stopped speaking, the Force in Anakin prompted him to speak. "I will stay out of the way. Only tell me what I must do."

"You will go to Obi-Wan, and the Force will guide you."

"Yes, sir."

Reeft released Anakin and said, "Follow me." He preceded Anakin into the medical center, leading him through a crowd of worried Jedi and others who had gathered as close to Obi-Wan as they could, which meant they'd all been kept in the outermost room, with the orders that they would only be allowed to wait there if they were absolutely quiet and still. The Jedi among them were given an additional task: they were commanded to focus their minds and think only on the Light Force's power to heal. They were not to ask for Obi-Wan's healing or to try to touch the Jedi master themselves.

Anakin noticed none of them, so deeply was he inside the Force. He breathed in time with the advance and retreat of the Force's tide in his mind. Each time it advanced, higher and higher, he breathed deeply and yet more deeply. And each time it retreated a little, less and less each time, he breathed out all that was in him that wasn't the Force. This was only a temporary state, and it would be many years before he could invite this healing, powerful state to come to him, but for now, as the Force had said, he didn't need to wait years to believe; all he needed was to believe for now that Obi-Wan would be saved by the Force, through the Chosen One.

Entering the well-lit room where Obi-Wan lay, Anakin crossed at once to the bed and took Obi-Wan's hand. His master's skin was cold and clammy. The sound of his rattling breath, powered more by machines now than by Obi-Wan's own, half-collapsed lungs, would have shaken anyone who heard it. But the Force rallied around Anakin's trembling resolve, bolstering his strength and commanding him to sit by Obi-Wan's side, close his eyes, and then wait for further instructions.

Anakin obeyed, clasping Obi-Wan's hand in both of his, not really feeling the weak pulse that beat below his fingers, or allowing his mind to jump to how this could have happened, or why it had been allowed to happen.

_Now, _the Force commanded him, _open your mouth, and I will give you the words._

"Reeft, please leave," Anakin said. "Close the door. Don't let anyone come in unless I call for you. And that includes Yoda and Mace."

Reeft nodded and retreated from the room. He was already turning his mind to the healing power of the Force. He joined Bant out in the main room, sitting beside her and taking her hand.

Anakin was far from everything, including his own body. He only heard the Force in his mind, only felt It in his blood. More; It was his blood. He couldn't live without It. In those moments, he knew this to be true, no matter how he might feel in a few minutes. And someday, he would know it again.

_Lay a hand on his forehead._

Anakin did.

_What do you feel?_

_He's exhausted. He's been fighting to stay alive. He's obeying Your commands with every ounce of strength he has left. _A pause. _But he's losing the last of his strength._

Obi-Wan's voice rose around Anakin as he descended into his master's mind, becoming one with his master. Even as Obi-Wan's heart labored to keep him alive, Anakin took over much of that muscle's function. His heart became Obi-Wan's in those first moments of complete connection. Obi-Wan thought, more with his soul than with his mind, _No strength… No light… Force, be with me._

Anakin called, his heartbeat speeding up, _Obi, stay with me. Please. I'm sorry I was so angry. I'm sorry. Stay with me? _

_Forget that you are Anakin. You are My Vessel, my Vassal. Act accordingly. _The Force rose inside Anakin, absorbing Anakin's fears and worries, wiping them away as if they'd never been.

Anakin's heartbeat slowed, and now his breath followed. He didn't speak to Obi-Wan, but to the Force. _What must I do?_

_Slit your finger. Feed him your blood._

Anakin found a scalpel lying on the table beside the bed and this he took and used. He put his bleeding finger between Obi-Wan's lips. _Drink, _he commanded in the voice of the Force, his tone not to be challenged or even balked for an instant.

Obi-Wan drank, swallowing even though his muscles hadn't been equipped for such only a moment ago. The Force flowed through his body, coming through his own connection to It, through Anakin's blood in his throat, spreading out to all the cells of his body, and through Anakin's hands.

_Put one hand on his chest, _the Force ordered, and Anakin did this, sensing the half-collapsed lungs somewhere beneath him. Following the prompting of the Force, he inflated the lungs with power, willing them to mend and to lose the fluid that had gathered in them.

Obi-Wan coughed; blood, bile and water came out. But then he drank again at once, and though the cough must have hurt him, he was, like Anakin, so deep in the Force, helped and held there by the Force flowing through his padawan, that he felt no pain.

So near death that he didn't know when or where he was, Obi-Wan thought, _Master Ryn-yn… It's all right. I'm fine. Tell Qui-Gon I'll live. _

Anakin didn't reply, but breathed out that last little part of him that _was_ Anakin.

The Force spoke to Obi-Wan in Anakin's voice: _You won't die now. Soon there will be pain, but you won't die._

_Yes, Master, _Obi-Wan answered, and there was no way to know if he thought he was speaking to Ryn-yn or to the Force. It really didn't matter; his trust was just the same.

Hours passed, though to Anakin they seemed shorter than they really were. He was experiencing, without knowing it, the timelessness of the Force. Outside the small room, the meditating Jedi and the others that were hoping felt an easing in their minds and hearts, and though the gathered non-Force-sensitives couldn't be sure that they weren't just starting to believe in their hopes more strongly, the Jedi knew that Obi-Wan was finally being led out of the realm of danger.

The healing progressed; Obi-Wan's breathing deepened and his heartbeat gained its own stability apart from Anakin's, though the two of them were still deeply connected. As Obi-Wan started to regain a sense of self, to remember all that had happened, he called out, though at first it was to Qui-Gon that he called, asking his master to guide him back to the waking world. _I'm lost, _he sent. _I'm lost. Show me the right way._

Anakin sent, his voice a little his own, though the Force kept worry from his words, _Obi, it's me. Anakin. You're going to be fine. _

Obi-Wan answered, his voice far away, _Sorry, Padawan… _

An image of Anakin's mother sprang up between them, and it was only by falling back on the Force that Anakin was able to endure the shock of it.

Anguished, unable to shield his emotions at all, Obi-Wan thought, _I'm sorry she died, that I wasn't there to help. Forgive me, Anakin. I wanted to help. Want to help. _He wept. _You shouldn't carry the pain alone. Give to the Force and give to me._

_But you're already in pain. You almost died. _

_Doesn't matter. _He was barely conscious now, and his words made sense, but only in a distant sort of way, as if Anakin was only catching half of a conversation. _Shared pain is less pain. Share with me. _

Anakin couldn't bear to share all he felt with Obi-Wan, and when he realized this, he felt the blood-deep connection he'd had with the Force slipping away. He struggled, instinctively, to hold on to it.

But the Force told him, _No. You did what you needed to. He's out of danger now. The rest- his journey back to strength- is one you can accomplish on your own. _The voice of the Force was suddenly much louder. _But the next time you doubt, remember this day, and what our agreement to give over your own thoughts did. Because you did that, Obi-Wan lived._

_I'll remember, _the padawan promised.

_Good. And if you start to forget, know this: Obi-Wan will be there to tell you of the peace I bring, but not forever. Eventually, even if he is still alive, the two of you will have to go your separate ways for a time._

_But-_

_Don't ask. It isn't for you to know. _The Force's tone gentled. _But you and Obi-Wan will have years together; this I promise._ _Now, help him. Speak to him, gentle him through the layers between sleep and wakefulness, and be ready for the pain he is going to feel._

Thinking of that, Anakin sent this to Obi-Wan: _I'll share with you if you keep sharing with me. Taking care of each other is our duty for a time. That, and nothing else._

Obi-Wan smiled a little. He still felt exhausted and this carried through the Force, but so did his resolve to keep talking to his padawan. _Master Yoda said something similar to me… I'll share with you. _

Now was the time for Anakin's apology; he sensed it. And knowing that he couldn't tell Obi-Wan all he felt only made him more desperate to beg forgiveness for those things he could express. _I'm sorry for what I said. You weren't Dooku's whore. You aren't the Force's whore. _

Obi-Wan answered, sounding nearer, _Semantics. They cause problems. If I'm a whore or just a servant, it's all how I choose to think of it. _A wave of pure exhaustion coursed through him, and he sent, _I accept your apology, but…_

Anakin answered, _But you're tired. I know. We'll talk, but not until you're back in the waking world. _He felt the Force crest inside himself, not reaching that blood-deep level, but nearing it. Anakin rested against the bed, giving Obi-Wan almost all his strength, as he had so many years ago on Naboo. Now, too, he let his caring for Obi-Wan show, though he couldn't show its true intensity. _Rest, Obi. Everything's okay now, between us and around us. I promise it is._

_Not truly, _Obi-Wan answered. _Much has changed, and the Darkness grows._

_Not here. Not at Temple. Here, you're safe. _

_Yes… _Obi-Wan's thoughts were fading. _Here, if only here… and if only for a little time more… that's true._

oOo

Yoda and Mace rose as one. Around them, the other Jedi meditated, and though the non-Jedi watched the two masters surreptitiously, they didn't move to follow or ask why the masters were finally going to the room where Anakin had disappeared over an hour ago. The two senior members of the Council entered the room, letting the door close behind them, and those who waited outside continued to wait.

Mace went to Anakin's side and touched the side of the padawan's neck. "He'll be fine," he murmured, gently removing Anakin's finger from between Obi-Wan's lips. The blood had stopped flowing. "He gave much, of both energy and blood, but he'll recover. For now, though, he needs a more comfortable place to rest."

Yoda called another bed across the room. "Separated they must not be yet. Connected they still must be." He used the Force to move Anakin's hand from Obi-Wan's brow and to interlace the fingers of the two slumbering Jedi. Then he gestured to Mace, and his lover came forward, lifting Anakin onto to the other bed. With this done, Yoda pushed the beds together until their sides touched. "There," Yoda murmured. "Now rest easily they can."

Mace nodded. He went and found two blankets. He covered the sleepers, tucking them in tenderly as any mother.

Yoda smiled. "If knew better I did not, I would swear that practice with that particular skill you had."

Mace raised an eyebrow at Yoda. "I do get practice, though not usually on a son or daughter of ours. Who do you think tucks you in at night when you fall asleep meditating?"

"How do you know asleep I am? Perhaps simply enjoy I do the fact that you willingly carry me anywhere I wish to go." But his playful tone faded, and he used the Force to lift himself up onto Anakin's bed. "Well you have done, my son," he whispered. "Proud of you I am. Thank you for saving Obi-Wan. Fully to become the Chosen One take time will, but taken an important step today you have, and undone that step can never be."

Then he crossed, again with the Force, to Obi-Wan's side, and he kissed the younger master's forehead. "Die you will not this day. Need you the Chosen One does."

He turned to Mace and held out his arms. "Now, carry me where I wish will you?"

Mace lifted Yoda from the table, hugging him for a moment. "You may have to let them both go again," he murmured. "Anakin's path may lie in a different place than ours."

"True," Yoda answered. "And Obi-Wan's away from me surely is. But until parted from them I am, protect and cherish and care for them both I will."

Mace nodded. "Know that I will do all I can to protect them, but that it is also my duty to ask the Force always for the way it wishes us to go."

"Know that I do." Yoda leaned back a little from Mace. "So sure you are that together we are meant to walk?"

"Yes, though I always ask the Force just that question. But the last five hundred answers have been 'yes' and so, until the Force gives me a new answer, I will believe that one."

He set Yoda down and the two of them left Obi-Wan and Anakin to sleep, perchance to hear from the Force in their dreams.

oOo

Obi-Wan did dream. Of Qui-Gon standing in an open place where there were no roads, only miles and miles of rooshes all around. _The love-flower, _Obi-Wan thought with a touch of sadness and trepidation he didn't understand. He recalled that unknown emotion he'd felt when Yeneluk had told him Qui-Gon was alive, and he remembered, too, that feeling he'd had one morning a few weeks ago when he opened his eyes in the morning and thought, _Move on. That's what the Force meant. _Exactly what 'that' was, he hadn't known at the time, but now he thought he might have an inkling.

He approached Qui-Gon slowly. He had time to notice that he was wearing his Jedi robes, though they were frayed and patched in places, and that Qui-Gon wore a nondescript tunic and trousers that would have looked at home on a score of worlds.

Qui-Gon presented a side view to his former padawan. His arms were folded, and though Obi-Wan could see nothing in the far or middle distance, Qui-Gon seemed to be gazing at something intently.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say, "Beloved," but nothing came out. Instead, when he was close enough, he reached up and laid a hand on Qui-Gon's forearm.

The older man turned his head. His face was unreadable. He didn't speak, but, after a moment, turned his eyes away.

Struggling still to speak, the younger Jedi at last managed, "Qui-Gon?"

"Yes?" Tightly he spoke, as though containing some strong emotion only through great effort.

There seemed so much that he should say. And shouldn't he be holding Qui-Gon now, be held by him? No to that last, and though Obi-Wan didn't understand why, he knew that it was the Force that commanded him to stand just as he was. He said, his tongue scarcely his own, "Will we see each other again?" That question at least made sense; Yeneluk had said they might not see each other in this life, which meant they never would.

"Yes, but things will be different." Qui-Gon lifted one hand, palm up, and the scene before his gesturing fingers changed. Two roads appeared, one headed into distant, grey mountains, there to disappear among the boulders, the other leading first to a lake, then, picking up on the other side, to a desert.

Obi-Wan was amazed by how far he could see, and how clearly. Because, beyond the thousand-mile wide desert were miles of lush, verdant forest. He asked, "One is yours and one is mine?"

"Yes." The older man turned about in place, and Obi-Wan turned with him. Now they were facing the two paths still, but, less than a stone's throw away, they could see the place where the path had been one. And, far away, almost as far as the forest was from them, they could see where the path had been split before. "See the distant paths? One was yours with Ahleh, the other mine as I lived it before you came into my life. Then, the joined path. Our time together as master and padawan was a step on that path; our relationship was another." Qui-Gon turned again to face the lake and mountains. "Your destiny lies away from mine." That same strain of voice, and Qui-Gon cleared his throat twice. He kept his eyes averted from Obi-Wan's.

Obi-Wan kept his back turned to the lake for a moment. His heart ached, but he realized that much of the grief he might have felt at these words had been swallowed up in what he had thought to be Qui-Gon's death. Having known that Qui-Gon was alive for only a few hours, and unable to dwell on that fact during that time, any sadness or sense of loss he might have felt was part of the original grief, and therefore, a healing scar.

He had only one question for Qui-Gon then, and he didn't need to turn to ask it. _Am I really talking to you?_

_Yes. _Qui-Gon caught Obi-Wan's arm and turned him so that he was facing the lake. This done, Qui-Gon let him go. _You don't seem saddened by my words._

There was no way to read the emotion behind those words, and Obi-Wan answered honestly, _When Yeneluk told me, I didn't feel sad. I miss you, but I feel our separation was meant to be. And that it will lead to great things. For both of us. But…_ He turned to face Qui-Gon, and when the man still wouldn't look at him, Obi-Wan stepped in front of him and caught hold of the front of the older man's tunic.

Qui-Gon's eyes were troubled, and in their depths Obi-Wan saw both the need to follow the Force, and yet Qui-Gon's drive to follow the road he'd always thought he would.

Obi-Wan knew he could explain everything, their parting, his own healing, his own longing for what could never be again, and his acceptance of anything the Force might ask of him, with one gesture. He kissed Qui-Gon. Wrapping his arms around Qui-Gon, kissing him deeply, he sent, _I want you to know that my love for you will never fade. It has changed, yes, and will change more before we again meet, but it will never fade. _

He drew back, but Qui-Gon, weeping answered, "Don't kiss me again. I'm not ready to let you go so easily."He moved away. There was a flash of anger in his eyes, but mostly anguish and confusion dwelt there. "Good-bye, Obi-Wan." His voice broke, and he turned away, starting on the path towards the mountains.

"Qui-Gon!" But when Obi-Wan tried to take a step, he hit an invisible wall. He couldn't journey down Qui-Gon's path even a little. He shouted, "It's not like you think!" His heart ached and he sobbed, his hands pressed against the wall between them, "I still love you! It's not easy for me either!"

Qui-Gon faced him a final time. "It's easier for you than for most. You would trust the Force to a fault, if that were possible. You might spend a sleepless night now and then, wondering if you could have argued with the Force, or if you should have at least tried, but you will, in the long and short term, take this parting better than I." Again, he faced away from Obi-Wan. "Don't deny it."

"It's only that you've already been gone for me, and-"

"Don't explain." Qui-Gon's shoulders hunched and he bowed his head. "I can't bear to hear your voice right now. Go away."

_Force, don't let him go like this. Force, please._

But the Force was silent.

Obi-Wan sank to his knees. Giving Qui-Gon part of what he'd asked for, he didn't call again, but clasped his hands in his lap and watched his lover walk and walk, until he reached the foothills and passed out of sight.

_Force, he hates me. _Obi-Wan lowered his head and dotted the earth before him with tears. _So long together, so long that he strengthened me and taught me and loved me, and now he hates me._

_Get up, Obi-Wan Kenobi, _the Force said. _Get up and follow your path. I will be with you._

Helpless to do otherwise, Obi-Wan rose and started towards the lake. It was further off than it had looked at first, and now he saw the tumble of boulders he would have to climb over and the steep steps that he would have to descend to reach it.

After he had taken twenty steps, the Force said, _He does not hate you. _And then It was silent again.

_He does not hate me. He does not hate me. _And, repeating this, Obi-Wan passed from this dream into others that he soon forgot. But this one stayed with him for the rest of his life.

oOo

When Qui-Gon awoke in the predawn light, he was still crying. He'd cried long into the mountains, unable to pass to other dreams. He had sensed that his own resistance to the will of the Force was keeping him in the dream, but he hadn't seen any way to accept what he'd been told. And now, lying awake finally, he thought, _How can Obi-Wan accept our parting so easily? _

Even though he hadn't been speaking to the Force, he received a reply in a voice that sounded gentle and yet admonishing, like Yoda's had many a time. _Obi-Wan takes my subtle hints. When you learn to do the same, your own pain will ease. And so will the anger you feel at him for accepting what must be 'so quickly'. _

A pause, and Qui-Gon felt warm and loving arms surround and cradle him. He fought against this for a moment, then, sighing, demanded, _Why do I fight? It's comfort I want, and I thought I'd grown past arguing with the Force. Before this, I felt the change in our relationship. I don't remember how I felt it, or if I understood it then- surely I didn't- but I knew this was going to happen. We've been apart for a long time. Either love is meant to endure during the long separations or it isn't. _The words gave him barely any comfort, and he knew he was still trying to convince himself. Still, the first step to understanding a truth was to speak it, even if you didn't believe it just yet. That, if nothing else, had been taught to him during his years away from all other Jedi.

'_If nothing else'?_ the Force demanded. _You know much more than that! Don't sell yourself short, Qui-Gon Jinn. That is Obi-Wan's weakness, not yours. Must I command you to list all of your accomplishments as I did him?_

That brought a small smile to Qui-Gon's lips. _Dear Obi-Wan, _he thought, then shook his head at the strange fondness he felt for his former lover. It wasn't the love of one spouse for another that had given birth to those words but the love of a father for a son, or even that which is shared between two close friends.

_I still can't see how our love changed so much, _he told the Force.

_You spoke the answer to Obi-Wan, didn't you? Remember it. Your relationship was a step on your joined paths. Part of the journey. A beautiful, joyful part that must never be forgotten, but only a part. _The Force cradled him even closer. _Qui-Gon Jinn, answer me this: is part of what you feel fear of your road? It looked different from Obi-Wan's._

Qui-Gon swallowed. _Yes. My road looks much harder than his._

_And maybe, in some ways, it is. But remember this: in the mountains, there is plenty of food and water, though you'll have to work to gather it. In the desert, there is little of either._

_Will he be all right? Can he make it through the desert alone?_

_He won't always be alone out there. You couldn't see- and neither could he- the places where his path was crossed by others. _The Force dripped soft balm on the wound in Qui-Gon's heart. _All will be well, Qui-Gon Jinn. Have faith in that._

Qui-Gon sat up and folded himself into a meditative posture. _When will I start on my road?_

_Now that you have spoken with Obi-Wan, now that he has 'come for you' in a dream, you may go whenever you wish._

_Then today. _Qui-Gon closed his eyes. _But first, I will meditate. I want to follow the path before me._

_Then follow it you will._


	36. Boxes and Changing the Role of

**Author's Note:** Okay, so these are becoming Tuesday postings… Believe me, it's not from choice. Hope you enjoy these two chapters. Please let me know what you think about the first one- it was a beast to write.

Boxes and Bubbles

Obi-Wan stirred awake. At once, he was conscious of the hand in his. Sending his mind out in that direction, he felt Anakin sleeping beside him. The master smiled a little, but only a very little, because he could feel, through the Force, how much he'd taken from Anakin. And how close he himself had been to death. Anakin had brought him a great distance, and though his padawan had more help than ever before from the Force, he'd still given more energy than was strictly wise.

Obi-Wan still wasn't strong enough to send any energy in return, but he was himself enough to realize that he, and thus Anakin, hadn't been only fighting injuries caused by energy bolts. _Of course not, _he thought. _Someone on the Dark Side wants me dead. It had to get involved._

He blinked, yawned. He reached out to Anakin, feeling that his padawan was deeply asleep, and decided that since he didn't have the strength to stay awake, and since Anakin showed no signs of opening his eyes soon, he might as well rest.

Within a minute, he was under again, and soon after that, he was dreaming.

He stood before three doors, and all around him was light so pure and bright that he was grateful for the semi-transparent blindfold over his eyes that shielded him. "Where am I?" he asked.

"In your mind still," answered the Force, seemingly from all around him. "These doors are memories and facts I have chosen to hide from you until you were ready." Obi-Wan felt a hand on his shoulder. "During those times when you thought you couldn't take any more, I hid these things from you."

"Giving me only what I could handle," Obi-Wan murmured, "or only what I could manage with help from others. Even if I don't like unburdening myself on them. On Anakin especially."

To that, the Force said nothing.

Obi-Wan gestured towards the doors. "Should I open one?"

"Yes."

The Jedi approached the middle door. He rested his hand on the doorknob.

"When the door opens, step inside and remove the blindfold. Then, when you are ready to emerge, put the blindfold back on."

Obi-Wan nodded and opened the door. He wasn't conscious of having stepped through the doorway, but the door closed soundlessly behind him and, finding himself in total darkness, Obi-Wan removed the blindfold. Before him was played out the rescue scene, when S'ban found Qui-Gon and he, Obi-Wan, helped S'ban move the injured, but still very much alive, Jedi master to his speeder. The remembered knowledge settled itself in conjunction with what Obi-Wan had thought, for months, to be the truth. Dizziness and nausea swept through him, then passed as his mind discovered that it could contain both memories easily enough. And, with the help of the Force, it even built the bridge between them: Obi-Wan's acceptance of Qui-Gon as dead so that the secret of Qui-Gon's continued existence could be kept.

"But now I know. You sent Prince Yeneluk to tell me."

"You didn't stop growing on Dagobah,"the Force answered. "You have grown sufficiently to accept this new responsibility. The secret still must be kept. Even Yeneluk will forget it, in time. You will be the only living being who knows."

"Why do you want me to know?"

The Force was silent.

Obi-Wan nodded, accepting that he wouldn't be answered. At a nudge from the Force, he turned back to the door and donned the blindfold. The door opened on its own, and again he wasn't conscious of stepping through, but stood in the light.

"Let me suggest you try the door to your left."

Obi-Wan nodded, touched the next doorknob, and was again inside. He tugged the blindfold down so that it hung about his neck like a kerchief.

At once, he felt that dizziness again as his right eye insisted that he was on Dagobah and his left insisted he was at Temple, standing a little distance from…

Obi-Wan forgot all about Dagobah and took a step towards Anakin, who lay on the floor of a meditation room. The padawan's eyes were half-closed and his face was bloodless. His hands lay limp at his sides.

And Adee lay on top of him, was touching him, stripping him.

Anakin didn't seem able to fight him, and though the horror of being touched was on Obi-Wan's mind, he couldn't bear to think that Anakin was paralyzed by the same type of fear. Wasn't Anakin, who had grown up around so much pain and torture and suffering, stronger than that?

The Force exploded around him, and Obi-Wan felt the empty space that surrounded Adee like a second skin. But unlike Anakin, who had never felt such an emptiness before, Obi-Wan had met and fought with something similar. He knew that at the center of every such seeming emptiness lived a core of Darkness. Adee was consumed by Darkness.

That much he'd known on Dagobah, or thought he'd known, until Adee began to be driven by fear. But of course, when Adee had been on Dagobah, he hadn't cloaked himself in emptiness. So, what had changed between when he raped Anakin and he arrived to face Obi-Wan?

_That doesn't matter. Anakin matters. Anakin unable to fight matters. _Obi-Wan took a step towards his padawan, and even though he knew this had already happened, he wanted so badly to save Anakin that his stomach clenched.

The Force opened up even more around him, revealing Zee coming, and also Obi-Wan's own end of the battle with Adee. Obi-Wan watched as Adee backed off, then came back, and drove into Anakin. Seeing the rape, Obi-Wan fell to his knees and threw up. _No! _he screamed in his mind just like the first time. _No! Not my Anakin! Please, don't let him-_

Again, Adee was pushed back. Then, joined by Zee, he attacked Anakin again. During all this time, Anakin couldn't move. He looked as though his muscles had been frozen.

_And maybe they are. I know how to use the Light Force to freeze an opponent; Adee might have known the same. _He groaned. _If Anakin felt any fear being frozen by me after suffering this, he never showed it. Could that mean he's healed, that he's moved past it?_

That would be a great relief, and it would support Obi-Wan's belief that Anakin was strong. _But I don't know, and there's no way I'm going to let this go now that it's in my mind again. If he needs my help, I must be here for him. And… And there's no way he could have practiced self-healing so quickly, or even at all. He's going to need me._

Once more, the Force surged around him, and Obi-Wan heard Adee's thoughts: _Tell me where Obi-Wan is. Tell me now. The pain will only stop when you tell me._

_Fuck off, _Anakin answered, his mind fogged with pain. But in the center of the fog, this truth remained: _I will never tell you._

Obi-Wan reached deeper, sensing that there was a reason beyond friendship or loyalty behind that conviction. He wondered if Anakin was responding to some call of the Force. But before he could know for sure, the Force ebbed around him, calling him back to the door.

Only as he turned, reluctantly, to put the blindfold back on did he realize that he was crying. He brushed the tears away, vowing that he would speak to Anakin about all that had happened, no matter if his padawan wanted to hear it or not.

Then he was back out in the Light, and he went to the third door.

This time, he found himself on a world baking with heat. Lava flowed far beneath him, and Obi-Wan was forcibly reminded of the vision he'd had on Dagobah beneath the dead tree. _Will I see myself here?_

He started forward, looking everywhere for the two duelists. "I didn't forget this," he told the Force.

A voice from his right said, "You came. I didn't think you would."

Obi-Wan turned, and he knew the woman before him at once. A parent's intuition drove him. "Annie…"

She smiled. "I know; I've been gone for months. You thought I was dead. Though I'm surprised you recognize me. How old was I when I disappeared?" She held up a hand. "Never mind. Point is, not enough time has passed to affect the change you see before you, true? The Force helped me grow into this, so that I could fulfill my destiny."

"Annie, come home."

"No you're not. You're here looking for your precious padawan."

"But you're-"

She shook her head violently, sunset-red waves tumbling over her forehead. "Don't lie to me. That's very un-Jedi-like." She laughed. "Or very Jedi-like, depending on your point of view."

"What are are you talking about?" His heart ached, and he took a step towards her, his hand out. "Annie, Annie…"

"Enough. You never had anything but words for me. Why should I think that's changed now?" She turned from him, then whirled back, a blue lightsaber in her hand.

Obi-Wan's own blade was out, blue as well, and he caught her stroke. "Annie, stop this! Come home! We've all been looking for you! _I've _been looking for you!"

"Lies!" She struck at him again and again, and he was shocked by her strength and speed. She had learned much since she was taken from Temple.

_Or since she ran away, _his mind whispered. _Don't forget that._

Annie backed off suddenly. "I can't kill you yet. Not before I tell you something. I haven't told Qui-Gon, but only because he died before I knew the truth." She smiled. "Don't feel too bad about my turning from you. You're not my father, or even really my mother. You were just the babysitter."

"What are you-?"

But she charged him then, and though he tried to bring his blade up, she stabbed him through the chest. He heard a terrible voice cry, _Death to you, Obi-Wan Kenobi! No one will save your padawan now!_

She drew back her blade. "And no one needs to save me. I was saved long ago."

Obi-Wan staggered back and crashed through the door. In the Light once again, he squeezed his eyes shut against the brightness. Raising himself from where he'd fallen, he turned his head to one side and threw up again. _Force, no. What happened to her? How do I save her? How do I stop her? Force, what did she mean, and why would she want to kill me? Why would she want to flee the Jedi Temple in the first place? _He retched, then puked again. _Force, what do I do?_

The answer came: "Tell Yoda of this vision, of the vision on Dagobah, and remind him of the words you heard at the time of her birth: 'We came only in response to the child. When she is ready, she will fulfill her destiny in us.' He needs to hear all of that. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen, just as he said."

As his stomach settled Obi-Wan vowed to tell Yoda everything. He felt stronger, and got up. "What did she mean I'm not her parent?"

No answer.

Obi-Wan tried to ask the question in a different way, or to pursue others, but the world around him began to dissolve, and he realized that he was waking up.

oOo

Anakin was yanked awake by a pain so deep his first, sleep-confused thought was, _We're on Ragoon and he's giving birth to Annie._

Then he came up a little more and knew that though he'd been wrong about the place and events he was in, he was right in this: the pain _was_ Obi-Wan's, not his own. And though it wasn't physical pain, it was still intense and piercing. Fighting his way to wakefulness, Anakin sat up, conscious of a lingering exhaustion, but dismissing it. He turned to Obi-Wan, noting the two beds that had been pushed close together. Lying down, Anakin took Obi-Wan in his arms. He began to rub the older man's back and to murmur, "Sh. Sh. You're safe. Wake up. You're safe."

Obi-Wan jerked in his arms and threw up. Most of the mess ended up on Anakin's chest and on the sheets but some spattered on the padawans face.

Anakin didn't feel even a twinge of revulsion. With the Force, he drew up the blankets that had fallen off him when he sat up, and brushed the mess first from Obi-Wan's lips and chin, then from his own face. He'd have to do more than that, but first, he shook his master gently, needing to wake him. "Obi? Wake up. Obi, please." He swallowed past the lump in his throat.

But the older Jedi was just as deeply asleep as before.

Sighing, Anakin stared down at the soiled blankets. They wouldn't be enough. Should he go get help, or at least more towels, or should he stay here in case Obi-Wan woke in fear or was sick again?

He couldn't leave Obi-Wan. But he was afraid of the disease the mess between them might breed, and he knew Obi-Wan couldn't take anything more right now. His wounds were healing; that much Anakin could see at a glance. But infection and illness had to be avoided. Gently, he moved Obi-Wan so that the man lay with his head hanging partially over the side of Anakin's bed away from the mess. If he threw up again, he wouldn't drown. Then Anakin rose and went looking for help.

He found some in the person of a medical droid and Reeft, who had stayed all through the night. It was now close to dawn.

Reeft rose at once and stripped his tunic off over his head. He wore another, lighter one beneath this, and presented Anakin with the outer one.

Anakin took off his sodden tunic and the medical droid pointed him towards the small 'fresher in a corner behind a curtain.

"No," Anakin said. "I need to get back to him."

"I'll go," Reeft said. "You need to get cleaned up." He turned to the droid. "Go into my pack there and take out the brown bundle." He glanced at Anakin. "Trousers and an under-tunic. Join us when you're clean."

"Obi-Wan threw up, not me," Anakin said, dropping the tunic Reeft had given him and starting to strip right there. "I couldn't wake him." His need to see Obi-Wan grew each moment, but he knew he'd see Obi-Wan sooner if he just did as he was told. And hadn't he come here to kill all the germs that might be a danger to Obi-Wan?

Reeft said, "He'll be all right. You gave him a lot of blood, and though it surely saved his life, no one's meant to swallow that much." So saying, he left. The medical droid followed, having tossed the bundle of clothes on top of Reeft's tunic on the floor.

Anakin was in and out of the refresher in less than five minutes, and dressed in another two. He jogged back down to the room he'd shared with Obi-Wan. He passed the medical droid on the way, who was muttering to itself about more mess and carrying not only sheets and blankets but also what looked like more than one set of Jedi robes.

Anakin kept going, his heart thundering in his chest, but when he stood in the doorway of the room he stopped, his hand resting on the frame. Reeft sat on the floor, leaning against one wall. He was almost completely naked, only wearing undergarments around his lower region. In his arms, wrapped in two blankets, was Obi-Wan. The beds were both soiled still, though it was the mattresses this time, and Anakin realized Obi-Wan must have thrown up again.

He approached silently, afraid to startle Obi-Wan if his master was awake.

Reeft glanced at him, then whispered, his mouth close to Obi-Wan's ear, "Your padawan's here. He stayed with you all night. He saved your life. I've never seen such a show of Force from one so young. Or from anyone, come to think of it, except Yoda."

Obi-Wan raised his head and straightened his shoulders, and when he did, the blanket fell away, revealing that he was just as unclothed, at least on top, as Reeft. He reached out, seemingly unaware of his state of undress. "Anakin," he rasped, then he coughed harshly, bowing his head, and it seemed he would throw up again.

Jealousy froze Anakin's hand. _Not now, _he thought. _Not when he needs me! _But all he saw was that Reeft was touching Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan didn't flinch away. All he saw was the way Obi-Wan leaned against Reeft.

When the coughing fit passed, bringing up nothing more than air, Obi-Wan again raised his head. "Anakin, I need- We need-" His voice cracked and he seemed unable to go on.

_What do you need? _he wanted to demand. _Do you want me to leave you alone with Reeft?_

But, by reaching out to the Force, he pushed through the paralysis. He crouched at Obi-Wan's side. _Even if he likes Reeft- _he suffered a moment where he thought he might cry- _he's asking for me to help him. I can't abandon him. _He thought, too, that even though he couldn't tell Obi-Wan of his love, he was still free to feel it and to wrap it about Obi-Wan like another blanket. Obi-Wan didn't need to know what he felt from his padawan was more than friendship.

Reeft conveyed Obi-Wan into Anakin's arms, saying, "I'll go find some clothes for us both."

Obi-Wan glanced at him, nodded his thanks. As Reeft left the room, Obi-Wan drew back from Anakin and leaned against the wall, pulling the blankets around him and shivering.

But just as Anakin started to feel hurt by this withdrawal, Obi-Wan reached out and tugged at Anakin's hand. Anakin moved closer, also leaning against the wall. Obi-Wan's hand in his trembled but held Anakin's own with surprising strength.

"We need to talk. The Force spoke to me while I slept. It had taken certain memories from me until It thought I could handle them. Now that-" He shuddered strongly and what little color was in his face drained away.

Anakin moved even closer and wrapped Obi-Wan in a tight embrace. "Rest," he said. "We can talk as soon as you're strong enough." He was aware that he was crying and did his best to hide the tears. "I'm just glad you're alive."

A soft snort of laughter. "I understand I have you to thank for that fact."

"The Force more than me." His own voice broke, but he was too relieved to be embarrassed.

"You allowed the Force to work through you. That's a great-" Obi-Wan coughed- "great step. I'm proud of you, Padawan mine." A pause. "Can I call you that?"

The sorrow and hesitancy in Obi-Wan's voice when through Anakin like a knife. "Yes," he whispered, hugging Obi-Wan as close against him as he could manage. "I shouldn't have said you couldn't. I was just angry." He was tempted to kiss Obi-Wan's hair, and though he'd done it before, now he didn't dare. Instead, he laid his cheek against the fine auburn strands. "I'm so sorry, Obi. Please forgive me for being angry. And for assuming you surrendered to him. I should have known you would only follow the Force. And I should have realized that the Force knows what It is doing, even if I'm still angry with It and in need of answers." For the first time, Anakin was conscious of the new level of trust in his heart, and realized a great truth: he could still be angry with the Force and confused, but the trust he'd gained, even though it was a seed's worth compared to the great forest that was Obi-Wan's faith, it was unshaken by these transient, though intense, emotions.

Obi-Wan stirred, tried to pull back, but then slumped against Anakin, giving his padawan his whole weight. "Apology accepted." He groaned. "There's so much I want to ask and tell you…"

"But you need to sleep first. I know."

"Thank you for…" Obi-Wan groaned again, more softly, and all the tension went out of his muscles. He slept.

"Thank you for living," Anakin whispered.

oOo

Late that afternoon, Obi-Wan regained consciousness. He was able to feel the pain of his healing body for the first time, and knew that this was a sign he was gaining strength. He also felt the Force all around him, humming inside him like a thousand-voice choir.

Then he became conscious of the fact that the Force inside and around him was being directed, and he opened his eyes. Twenty Jedi sat around his bed, all with their eyes closed and their faces lit from within by the power of the Force. Anakin was there, flanked by Reeft and Ryn-yn. Bant, Nela and Ferus sat nearby. And Yoda was there.

Obi-Wan reached out to the Force, and felt, just beyond the protective web the Jedi had woven, the Dark Force trying to press close. He retreated into himself, knowing that he was getting stronger, but that he wasn't quite strong enough to face the sort of attack the strength of the Dark Force promised. _And it's still trying to kill me. Force, what am I to you that the Darkness ignores the Chosen One in favor of me?_

He wasn't expecting an answer to a question he'd asked before, but the Force surprised him. _Anakin isn't the Chosen One yet. The Dark Force doesn't know what he is._

_Does the Darkness think I'm the Chosen One? _A thrill of terror ran through him, which he dispelled with a thought and a breath.

_No, but it believes you hold the key to the growth of the Chosen One._

_It believes that and doesn't know it's Anakin I'm helping?_

_It suspects. And since Anakin is not the Chosen One yet, all that is known is that you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are a key player in the coming war for dominance._

_The Force seeks balance, not dominance, _Obi-Wan said.

_True, but the Darkness knows it not, and neither does the Light, insomuch as those two parts can be separated. Think of what you call the 'sides' of the Force not as sides, but as My arms. They don't know why they do certain things; they merely obey. But unlike arms, they have some intelligence of their own. 'Some' to my way of thinking,though much more than any living being. _The voice faded, but the Light Force around Obi-Wan intensified.

Someone sat on the edge of the bed he lay on. Unable to remember when he'd closed his eyes, Obi-Wan opened them again, meeting Yoda's wise gaze. "Master," he said, surprised to hear how strong his voice had become. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Anakin stir, then still. "Thank you for protecting me. When will I be strong enough that I don't need this wall you've created?"

"A few hours, a day, perhaps." Yoda laid a hand on Obi-Wan's brow. "Stronger already you are, but gathered much strength the Darkness has."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I can feel it."

"Doubt that I do not. Retire to the next room the rest of us will, but continue our vigil we will. Begin your physical strengthening you will. Remain with you Anakin will. Help you walk he will. Rely on him for a time you must."

In Yoda's voice, Obi-Wan heard the echo of feelings the Force had sent him more than once. _And so I must accept that Anakin is meant to help me as much as I am to help him. And because the Force says it and Yoda says it, it's high time I listened and cast my pride away. What I told Anakin was true: I am arrogant, and that is my weakness. Force, help me to turn to Anakin for the help he can give. But also help me not to forget that he, too, is injured and that there will come a time, soon, when I must reopen certain wounds and help heal them._ "Yes, Master," he said.

As one, the Jedi rose and started from the room. But before each left, he or she stopped to place a blessing on Obi-Wan. He received a kiss on the cheek from Bant, and one, on the forehead, from Reeft. Others blessed him by touching his hands or his forehead. Even Ferus and Nela did this, though they both looked uncomfortable to be offering blessing to a master that both had thought unshakeable for years.

When Gareth and Arnen stood beside him, Arnen said, "Thank you for saving my lover." His fingers were interlaced with Gareth's.

Obi-Wan smiled to see them, thinking how right they looked for each other. His heart ached as he thought of the separate paths he and Qui-Gon were now on, but he banished the pain for the moment. Arnen was waiting, unconsciously, Obi-Wan was sure, for some sort of blessing from the 'experienced' master. Glancing at Gareth, he saw a similar need in the older man's eyes. "May your love grow stronger each day, give you strength for the road ahead, and fill every moment you're together with a joy you can see, taste and breathe as well as feel."

Arnen squeezed Obi-Wan's hand.

Gareth touched Obi-Wan's forehead. "May your life be filled with sunrise," he murmured, "and with the rain of growth, and with the warm arms of a comforter." Then he touched Obi-Wan's lips. "May your devotion to the Force always be heard and may all listen." He touched Obi-Wan's cheek. "And may the one you wait for in the night of loss and confusion come to you and ease your pain." He and Arnen left before Obi-Wan could speak.

Not that he could think of anything to say. Gareth spoke as though he knew Qui-Gon were still alive. _No. That's impossible. I'm just thinking that way because I feel guilty for hiding the truth from others._

It didn't matter what Gareth had meant. Obi-Wan sensed that he was waiting for someone. Not to come and heal his broken heart, since that was healing, but to join with him in whatever war he would soon be fighting. _And when that person comes, _he thought, _all the pain and confusion of my life will be made right._

A hand touched Obi-Wan's own, and he came back to the physical world with a smile. "Anakin," he said. "I've missed you, Padawan mine. You don't know how good it is to wake up and see you here."

Anakin blushed a little, but bent close to Obi-Wan and murmured, "It's good to see you awake." Then he drew back. "I have to get you on your feet though, and you're probably not going to be glad to see me for long. I have to walk you around this room five times before I can let you lay down again. Regaining your physical strength will free the Light Force to shelter you from the Dark."

"Are you tired of shielding me already, Padawan mine?"

He'd meant it as a joke but Anakin answered, "Never, Obi. Never." Then, before Obi-Wan could reflect too much on the intensity he saw in the younger man's eyes, Anakin helped him to a sitting position. He slung Obi-Wan's arm around his shoulders and said, "Are you ready?"

Obi-Wan took stock of his trembling legs and his general weakness, and answered, "No. Let's go."

Anakin helped him up, and though Obi-Wan's legs did shake, they held. The two Jedi began their first circuit around the room, Anakin bearing over half of Obi-Wan's weight. They'd taken half a dozen steps when Anakin said, "I have to tell you something. I was planning to wait until you were stronger, but it keeps popping into my mind."

"Go-" gasp- "ahead."

Anakin told him of the Tusken Raiders, leaving nothing out. His voice broke several times, but though he showed anger, he showed more remorse than anything. And he was able to convey the fear he felt. He paused after speaking of returning to the workshop and having Padme try to comfort him, but before Obi-Wan could think of what to say, Anakin burst out, "Jedi aren't supposed to have emotions like that."

_Did I teach you that? _But for once Obi-Wan was sure he hadn't. This was just Anakin's guilt talking. He motioned Anakin to stop walking and he faced his padawan. "Yes… we are." He closed his eyes as the world tried to turn a somersault. When he was sure it was steady again, he met Anakin's gaze. "We're sentient; we're not drones. It's not that we have the emotions, but what we do with them."

Anakin looked miserable. "Maybe, but I was still wrong to kill them."

Obi-Wan said, gently as he could, "Yes. But it's in the past. I won't hold it against you, and if you hold it against yourself, you'll breed more anger, fear and feelings of self-doubt. Remember those boxes in your mind from when you were nine?"

Anakin blinked, confused. "Yeah…"

"By spending time feeding the memory of your mistakes and anger, you're creating more of those. I could have chosen to create a ton of boxes in my own mind about my decision to abandon you to Adee, but-"

Anakin held up a hand, and his eyes darkened. "I'm not angry with you about that. You served the Force. That's all that matters. And it's over now."

Obi-Wan stared at his padawan. _You can't have healed that fast and fully. _But he also saw that Anakin wasn't ready to talk yet, so he vowed to keep pushing towards that eventual confrontation, but to do it subtly. There was a time for direct questioning and a time for biding time, and a wise master knew which was which. He said, "We never went back and took all of them down, did we? The boxes in your mind?"

Anakin relaxed; the fear in his eyes faded. "It would take too long, and we were always on a mission."

Ah, a truth that had to be told. "You're old enough to know the reason we were on so many missions. It's because I accepted so many. I wanted to be out of the Temple and anything that reminded me of Qui-Gon."

Anakin blinked and thought, _That's what love meant for Obi: devotion and a need to be spared the pain of missing his lover. _A thrill ran through him, and though he at once squelched it, he couldn't stop this thought: _If I ever chose to admit my love to him,_ _that's what it could mean for me._

Obi-Wan continued, "We could take the boxes down now and go through them."

_Maybe we could get rid of some of the anger I still feel at the Raiders. _That would be a great relief, and maybe Obi-Wan could help him start to understand more of the ways of the Force, and how to be free to be angry at it and yet to continue to strengthen his trust. Then he thought of all the things he didn't want Obi-Wan to know: his love, his jealousy and, above all, his weakness. Still, those things could be hidden if he asked Obi-Wan to leave them be. Obi-Wan had once given a promise that he'd never pry into his padawan's thoughts but wait for an invitation, and he'd never broken it. "If you'll agree to leave some boxes alone. Not the anger I feel, but something I'm not ready to tell you yet."

"Do you think it's wise to keep it secret?"

"I'll ask the Force's help, and when I'm ready to talk, you'll be the first one I come to."

Obi-Wan nodded. "All right. And I'll let you see my bubbles, if you will."

"Bubbles?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "My mental container-creations are round and slightly elastic. That's just the way they decided to form themselves." He smiled a little. "When should we start?"

Anakin remembered then that they were supposed to be walking and he started forward again. "When you can walk."

Obi-Wan gasped out a chuckle. "Agreed."

oOo

It would prove to be a very short meeting. Yoda sensed this even as he noted all the other people who were awaiting an audience with the Chancellor. And it wouldn't be short because of the long line Yoda had just cut in front at the chancellor's request. It would be brief because the Jedi Master already thought he knew what the man would say, and he knew how he would answer. What more would need to be said?

"Please sit, Master Yoda," Palpatine invited. "How is young Master Kenobi?"

Yoda settled himself and gazed across the desk. "Recovering he is."

"I'm glad to hear it. No one is more shocked or disappointed than I am about the attack right in the heart of Republic."

Yoda chose not to reply to that. "Asked for me you did?"

"Yes, Master." The chancellor steepled his fingers. "With war so close upon us, and considering what happened in the Senate only four days ago, I think the Jedi would best serve by aiding other planets in their crises than by trying to change things here in the Senate. When the war is over and safety can be assured, then young Master Kenobi, or another, can return and continue the work here. Until then, a great diplomat like him should be out saving lives through peaceful negotiation."

Yoda didn't show any of his feelings. Under Mace's suggestion, he'd been keeping a closer eye on the Senate. He'd been watching the proceedings when Obi-Wan was attacked, and it was due to this rather than to the runner Palpatine had sent to the Temple, that Obi-Wan had been brought with all speed to the Temple medics. The runner hadn't reached the Temple until after six medics and three Jedi with special gifts for preserving life were sent to Obi-Wan. "Recovering Master Obi-Wan still is, but ready he is not to assume any duties yet. When ready he is, sit down and discuss this matter the three of us should. Followed the Force to this calling Obi-Wan did, and though perhaps changed the Force's call for him has, hear that I am sure you wish to from his own lips before decide anything we do. War a time of quick decisions must be, but to think each decision through our duty it still is. Time there will be for you to speak with Obi-Wan. Let you know I will when regained his strength he has."

Palpatine was silent for a moment, then he nodded. "Of course, Master Yoda, you know the will of the Force, and I wouldn't dream of interfering with your calling. Please inform me as soon as the young master is ready to meet with me."

Yoda nodded and climbed from the chair. "Thank you for your time," he said.

The chancellor stood. "Thank you for yours." Then he sat again and turned his attention to the holoscreen before him.

Yoda left the office, his mind on the Dark Force user who had tried so fervently to kill Obi-Wan. The wave of Darkness this person had sent had dissipated early that morning, at last leaving the Jedi who had been keeping it at bay able to rest. Two Jedi still remained near Obi-Wan while he was regaining his strength, but he was making swift progress and should be ready in less than two days to take up the battle again.

Only then would Yoda allow Palpatine to talk of ending the work against corruption, and he knew that Obi-Wan would fight against it. Palpatine seemed to have a remarkably short memory. Had he forgotten already that the Senate's level of corruption had been part of what drove the Separatists to secede? And if he hadn't forgotten, but was purposely ignoring the past, then he would bear even greater watching.

oOo

A week had passed since Obi-Wan had taken his first steps, and though he was at last allowed to finish recovering in his quarters, tended by his padawan, he was required to show his progress each afternoon to a group of medical droids who measured his heart rate and scanned his healing wounds for infection and strain.

Just now, he sat across from Anakin in the middle of their common room. It was time to talk boxes and bubbles. _We'll pop some of my bubbles and unload a few of your boxes, _Obi-Wan sent. He grinned a little despite the seriousness of their undertaking. There was just something amusing about the imagery of going in with a pin and popping one luminous bubble after another. _Like balloons at a child's party_.

Anakin answered, _Except your bubbles might hold nasty surprises._

_Hopefully not too many surprises. I think I know most what I harbor. As do you, I'm guessing._

_Or I wouldn't have asked you to stay away from some of them. _Anakin sighed. _You're not angry about that, are you? Or hurt?_

_You're on the cusp of becoming a knight. I can't expect you to tell me everything. The only emotion I feel regarding those kept boxes is worry. I can't help that. I want to take care of you, as I'll always want to. _He paused. _Actually, one of my bubbles is most likely worry for you, not because you are inexperienced, but because I care about you. _He closed his eyes. _Can you see the bubbles?_

_Yes. They're... pretty. Lovely, I guess. _He touched one that was glowing a soft gold-yellow. _I thought they would be grey._

_I do my best to cover my worries with the Light Force. I started doing it when I was four or five, even though I didn't know that I was asking the Force's help. _He pushed a bubble forward. _Shall we see what's inside?_

_All right._

Obi-Wan laid a mental hand against the bubble and it popped, sending this concern into their minds: _I haven't yet told Anakin of the dreams I had._

Anakin blinked. _What dreams?_

_The memories I spoke of, the ones the Force allowed me to see now that I'm a little stronger. I dreamed of three doors. One led to Qui-Gon's death, another to when Adee raped you- _he felt the sudden tension in Anakin and so moved on- _and the last dealt with the future. With Annie. We were on a lava-world together. _He blinked, remembering something. _Qui-Gon and I dreamed of that lava-world once. Early in my relationship with you. Two Jedi dueled aobe the fiery rivers. One was me, or someone very close to me, and the other, and maybe I'm wrong to assume this, was Annie. _He sighed, and allowed all the sorrow and uncertainty he felt about his daughter flow from his mind to Anakin's and back. _I want to close my eyes to what I saw, and to stop my ears. She's my daughter and I don't want to believe anything terrible about her._

He leaned forward unconsciously. _But that's a failing of mine, and acknowledging the failing, while it's the first step, is by far the last. _Anguish floated between them. _I have to consider the possibility that the Dark Force's words to me when she was born, the Dark Force wave that came both on the day before she born and during her birth might be somehow true, or at least might be warnings. _So strong was his distress that he ran a hand through his hair. _And there's more. On Dagobah, before I spoke with a vision of you, I saw you and her fighting. So maybe the two who battle on the lava-world are you and my daughter. _He made a soft, sad noise. _But I never make time to see her, so how can she be my precious anything?_

Anakin reached out in the physical world, taking Obi-Wan's hands in his. _You're staying away for her own good. She would start depending on her parent being there if you were there all the time. You knew, when you decided to let her stay here at Temple, that you couldn't raise her personally. That was a hard decision. But it was the right one. _He added, _And though you're the first Jedi to have a child here, that doesn't mean you don't have help. Take your concerns about her to Yoda._

_I'm planning on it. The Force gave me the same directive. _He squeezed Anakin's hands. _But none of that changes the fact that I feel an attachment to her that I have no right to feel. I carried and delivered her, but-_

_And guarded her for a month with everything that is in you. That time made a stronger bond that you were expecting._

_Yes, _Obi-Wan answered, _that's true. So are you saying that I'm at least partially justified in the attachment I feel to her?_

_You are. And even if she wasn't your daughter, she's a youngling who needs help. I know you, Obi; if this was happening to a child that wasn't your own, but you'd been given all these warnings, you would feel just as responsible for her._

_You're so sure?_

_Positive. Obi, who knows you better than me? You're blessed or cursed with a loving heart. Everyone knows it and sees it. That's why you have so many friends outside the Order. That's why so many were clustered around you beside the pyre. You have a loving heart, and everyone knows. They trust in it. No matter who she is, blood of yours or not, you would still feel this way._

Obi-Wan murmured, "Maybe." Then, _There's more. Behind that last door, Annie and I fought. She came at me with a lightsaber- one with a blue blade- and I was forced to defend myself. But then she stopped fighting and said, 'Don't feel too bad about my turning from you. You're not my father, or even really my mother. You were just the babysitter.' I don't understand what she meant, or even if that was real. Visions must be interpreted. Maybe I'm still, deep down, hurt that she wasn't Qui-Gon's. _He sighed. _I just don't know. And I don't want to make you feel like I'm looking for answers from you, Padawan mine, only a listening ear. I don't want to heap too much on you._

_You've said that before, when you were on Dagobah and you contacted me after- _Anakin swallowed the rest of that sentence. _And I'll say the same I did before: you're not heaping too much on me. I can take a lot. And most of things you give me aren't heavy, like the deaths I gave to you._

_Or the boxes you're sharing with the Force? _Obi-Wan knew he was taking a risk with this question, that he might be making Anakin believe that he, Obi-Wan, still held a grudge. But he had to trust that Anakin knew him well enough to understand.

_Those are heavy, too, _Anakin admitted. Then he was silent for a time, drawing a little back into himself. When he emerged again, he sent, _Talk to Master Yoda about Annie. I think you're dream is right; she has something wrong with her. _He told Obi-Wan of the time he had talked to Annie after Obi-Wan had sent him out of the Senate. _Maybe I was just too upset myself, but her questions bothered me._

_I don't blame you._ _They make me uneasy, too. I'll tell Master Yoda everything. Once we're done here. _And, with that decision, four bubbles went, popping but taking their concerns with them. Obi-Wan smiled a little in their minds. _So, that was more of a concern than I thought._

_What about Qui-Gon's death?_

_I don't think there are more bubbles concerning that. Even the voice that I originally thought was his has faded. It returns, sometimes, when I sleep, but it doesn't hurt me anymore._

_Did you ever figure out _how _you were supposed to move on?_

_Partially. I was supposed to accept his death as a natural part of life. That I've done well with, I think, though I still miss him. Then I was to start missing him less, and that's happening, though I have setbacks still. Losing a lover isn't something I would ever want to do again, but the Force has brought me through this, and so I must assume that It will bring me through whatever is in my path. As to what else I'm supposed to do: well, if I'd done it already, I wouldn't still hear the voice, I don't think. But I'm not sure what the next step is. I'm not worried; the Force will lead me where I need to go._

A single bubble popped out of existence and Anakin asked, _What was in that one?_

Obi-Wan sounded amused. _A chunk of my pride. Each time I admit, to myself or to others, that I can't control my own destiny, one of those pops. Others will take its place; I'm too arrogant by nature to be rid of them for good, at least that's how I am just now, but having one go away is a nice relief._

Anakin grinned. _If you can admit you're arrogant, I think that means you aren't._

_Maybe not right this second, but there are a lot of seconds in a lifetime. _Obi-Wan reached out and laid a hand on one of Anakin's boxes. _Is this one safe to open?_

Anakin thought it might be, and so he approached and lifted the lid. Peering in, he saw a thousand question marks. He held this out to Obi-Wan, blushing, wishing he'd hidden this box, too. _Not really, _he admitted, keeping this thought to himself. _Because he already knows about this. _To Obi-Wan, he sent, _I failed my mother, and I've failed you before, and I've failed the Force. What if I'm not strong enough or fast enough when the Force or circumstances call on me? _He couldn't convey the real horror he felt with those simple words, and so he projected all the feelings that had given rise to the words. He didn't feel equal to the title of Chosen One, and he felt it was preposterous and dangerous to assume that he was going to be able to save anyone. _I miss her, and I'm afraid of you dying when I could have saved you, but it's more. The Force shouldn't have chosen me. I'm not wise, and even though I have a deep Force-connection, I'm prone to forgetting it when I'm angry or feeling something else strongly. _He shook his head. _It's no way for a Jedi to behave, but especially not a Jedi so close to becoming a knight, like you keep saying, or one who's supposed to be the Chosen One, like I know all the Jedi are saying._

Obi-Wan saw the extent of Anakin's worries like a great forest of boxes rising all around his padawan. He answered, _Your fear, Anakin, is justified, but only in this: you are only seeing what you can do, not what you can accomplish with the Force. _He cast a look at the boxes. _There are a few parts to your fear. Do you mind if we take it apart and look at each?_

Anakin shook his head. _I'm sorry I've kept this in for so long._

_We've addressed some of this before, and, recently, I haven't been able to listen. Stop thinking on what you did in the past and let's take these apart now._ Obi-Wan didn't need to open a box. He knew many would disappear if Anakin believed his next words. _It wasn't your fault that your mother died._

_Yes it was! I should have kept reaching out to the Force, even after it said she was fine, just to make sure. I kept dreaming about her; I should have checked._

_Yes, and perhaps I should have as well. Or we should have taken it to Yoda. Or we should have demanded that the Force tell us if things had changed. Or we should have demanded that the Force tell us the truth: that your dreams were sent by the Dark Side. Point is, it's in the past._

Anakin's shock ran between them. _But if it was the Dark Side, why did it tell me at all?_

_The Dark and Light aspects of the Force are still the Force, right?_

Anakin nodded, confused.

_The Force can only tell the truth. That's part of what makes It the Force. So, the Dark Side can only tell the truth, but that truth can be distorted or only half-told. If the Light Force had been sending you those dreams, you would have known at once the moment she was truly in danger._

_Does that mean we were talking to the Dark Force when we asked if she was well? _Anakin shuddered.

_No, we were speaking to the Light, and that's why we received the answers we did. As far as the Light Force was concerned, she was safe that first time, and so It told the truth as It knew the truth. Now that you're asking me these questions, questions I asked of the Force only a few days ago, I need to tell you something. _And he conveyed, as best he could, the message the Force had told him.

_The Light Force could be too strong? _Anakin asked. _And it could lead us back to the Darkness?_

_Yes, because the Light Force seeks peace at all costs, and such an unwavering goal leads to a need for power, and the accumulating of and lust for power comes from the Dark Side. It is the Force we follow, not one side or the other. The Light Force helps us; I don't deny that. When we are in pain, it is one half of the Light Force, the Living Force, that heals us many times. And when we are seeking answers to questions, it is the Unifying Force that supplies them. But think, Anakin. What do we say when we go our separate ways?_

_May the Force be with you. _Then Anakin blinked. _Not the Light Force or the Dark Force, but just the Force. Which could mean either side, right? So we could be wishing harm on each other?_

_No, because in the ultimate plan of the Force, there is no talk of saving or killing. There is only the Force's Will, which is to bring balance between the two sides. The galaxy can't be run by the Jedi, as the Light Force would wish, nor by the Sith, which is the Dark Side's goal, but must be ruled by the Force, which demands that both live._

_But isn't the Darkness bad? Obi, I'm really confused._

_I know, Anakin. It's all right. Confusion just means you're looking for answers. Think of it this way: the Force is a nest of glis-li three dozen eggs and also the environment around the nest, the world outside the eggs. Darkness and Light are part of this world. Light is the sun, the mother warming her chicks, the food her mate brings to feed her. Dark are the snakes that come to take some of the eggs, or the eggs that don't hatch. The Force makes both to exist together in a delicate balance. What would happen if there was no Light?_

Anakin could see the nest in his mind, guarded by a mother bird whose plumage was the same color as Obi-Wan's hair. (He blushed at this and hoped Obi-Wan hadn't made the comparison.) He considered the image, reminded of the puzzles Obi-Wan had given him when he was younger, though those had been given while the two of them were usually doing some sort of physical activity because Anakin hadn't been able to hold still. He didn't have to think hard; this part of the puzzle was easy. _The eggs would all die because they wouldn't have warmth or protection._

_Right. And what if there was no Dark?_

_All the birds would live. Isn't that a good thing?_

_What if there wasn't enough food? Or what if there was enough food for that species, but they ate all the others out of house and home?_

Anakin blinked. _Oh. _Then, after a moment, _So the Force makes a plan for the galaxy, and everyone can't live but the ones who do have more opportunities because others die?_

_Yes, though I'm not sure I've ever heard it described so flatly. I was thinking more of this end to the story: the Force doesn't make all to live long lives, or to live completely happy lives, but It gives us a stage to walk on and a time to sing. What we make of the time and space we're given is up to us. That might seem simplistic; what about the people born into slavery, or the ones born into abject poverty? They are given different choices, but they're also allowed to make what they can of the lot they're given. We aren't all asked to sing the same line, but to sing different lines so that the Great Music, or Plan, will be fulfilled. Death, sorrow and injustice are part of that plan, but power is given to some so that these things might be changed. Also, happiness and love exist, but how do you know when you're happy if you've never been miserable? And how do you know if you love someone if you've never been without the longing for love?_

He squeezed Anakin's hands, tugging the padawan a little closer. His eyes still closed, he sent this image: a seesaw such as the younglings used when they were very small. _On one side, the Light Force, on the other, Darkness. In the middle, holding all together and striking blows that we might grow and also staying blows so we can enjoy short times of peace, the Force. You, Padawan mine, if you are in truth the Chosen One, will stand in the middle of that seesaw, letting the Force flow through you. It will be the Force that brings balance, but your body, your mind, your actions, will turn the Force's thoughts into actions._

_And now, _he held up a mental hand because he sensed Anakin might interrupt, _as to your thoughts about your mother and your worries about my death: the Dark Force made it possible for you to know that she was going to die, but the Light Force made it possible for her to see you before she died, making it so that she died in peace. Didn't she smile at you before she died?_

_Yeah, but I wish she hadn't died._

_I know. I wish Garen and Siri hadn't died. Or Qui-Gon. And I wish I'd been there when each died, but I wasn't allowed to be. The Force's plan called for them to die, and for your mother to die, but for you and I to live. Why? Only the Force knows. Were these deaths punishments for something we failed to do? No. If the Force had meant for Shmi Skywalker and Garen Ruhl to live, they would be alive now. The Force called them to come to It, and they left. _He was still for a moment, then he sent, _Crown Prince Yeneluk said something interesting to me. He said that we don't disappear when we die, only that we cross to a new plane that many from this world can't reach and from which most spirits can't return._

Anakin gaped. _Do you believe it?_

_I'm not sure, but though I was taught differently all my life, isn't there a chance one way or the other might be wrong? We won' know until we're dead ourselves, or unless some ghost comes to tell us. Neither of those things in likely to happen by our wishing for it, so the best we can do is go forward in hope and faith. What else is there? Fear? That's a waste of time. We aren't the Force and so we can't know the answers to all our questions. But we are given the answer to fear, and that is: have faith. Have faith that the Force knows what It does, and knows the best for all of us._

_And there, Anakin, is the answer to the rest of your question: you can only do what feels right and give the rest over to others._

_But what if I don't follow the Force for an instant and it's the wrong instant? _

_Don't you think the omniscient Force provides for our slips in timing or attention? It knows we're only mortal, fallible things. All the Force can ask is that we do our best in each moment, and to let each moment go once it's over. Make a decision; make another. How are we to know what the right decisions will be? Not even Yoda can see all ends. _

Anakin answered, amused, _You learned a lot on Dagobah, didn't you? _

Obi-Wan smiled. _You could say that. Though I learned much of what I just told you the last week or so. _He had the great pleasure of watching about twenty boxes disappear from Anakin's mind.

_A bubble for me now, I think. On Dagobah, I learned I am a 'great Jedi master'. _He snorted. _As much as I defy all the words that were ever said about me, I still don't feel equal to the tasks the Force sends me. A few months before I returned to Temple, I hadn't yet regained any of the connection to the Force that I lost after ber'Nac raped me that final time. I'd learned how to depend more on my instincts and how to listen to the whisper of the Force, but I was feeling weaker and more unequal to being a Jedi, to being your master, than ever. Then the Force came to me and ordered me to tell It all the things I was good at. _He chuckled. _I don't mind telling you it was like pulling teeth, and the Force was right to show a little frustration at my feelings of inadequacy posing as dissembling words. After making me compare myself to other Jedi and finally to Yoda, the Force commanded me to repeat this statement, no matter how foolish I felt doing it: I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, am a great Jedi Master. _A pause; Obi-Wan cleared his throat. His blush showed in both their minds. _First I thought it, doubting every word. But the Force told me to say it again, so I did. And again. Then I was made to shout it. And when I did that… The universe was opened to me, Anakin. I caught a glimpse of the raw Force, like a great, overarching blanket, or a comet so large and so brightly burning that it blotted out all the stars. Instead of making me feel smaller, for the first time I realized that I was part of something huge, and that no matter my own lack of strength, the Force would work through me, as long as I agreed not to get in Its way. I… I could be a great Jedi, if I would just shut up and get out of the Force's way._

Anakin didn't answer for several moments, then he said, his spoken words startling in the silence, "Then you need to listen to your own words and get out of the way as far as Annie is concerned. Help her as much as you can, do what you think is best for her, talk to Yoda, but, in the end, let the Force's will be done." He moved closer to Obi-Wan, pressing at his master's hands until Obi-Wan opened his eyes. "She's your daughter, and that makes it hard to just step back and listen to the Force, but you have to. Not just because the Force commands you, but because you know it's right."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're right. I should pay a little more attention to my own advice."

"No, just to the Force. I think you like hearing yourself talk a little too much." Anakin grinned, but held up a hand when Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak. "Come on; we're not done yet."

Obi-Wan felt a great need to just stop there. Gazing at Anakin, he wanted something more than his padawan's hands in his. _No, _he thought. _Whatever it is that I want, he needs me. We've made good progress, but it's not done yet. There is so much he has to tell me, and that I must tell him. Who knows when we'll get this chance again? _He was filled with an urge to tell Anakin that Qui-Gon still lived, but that their paths had diverged. He swallowed the impulse and said, reaching once again through the Force, "What would you talk about, Padawan mine?" He closed his eyes and found himself once again in Anakin's mind.

More boxes were gone now. Anakin stared up at the remaining ones. Most of the ones he'd wanted to hide were far back, and so he turned to those closer in. He laid his hand on one, reading the inscription on the side. None of the others had inscriptions. _The Arena, _it said, and Anakin's stomach writhed beneath his ribs. He wasn't sure he was ready to open that box.

_What is it? _A vision of Obi-Wan appeared beside him, and the master crouched down to read the box. He traced the letters with his fingers. _Seeing so many die… I never thought it could happen. I was so sure, even though I knew about all the droids, that the Jedi would prevail. So many came to our aid, and only a handful walked away. If it hadn't been for those who helped me, I would have been dead as well. _He looked up, and their eyes locked. _I'm sorry you had to see so much death, Anakin. No one is ever old enough to see it, and, if you're lucky, you never grow used to it. But to keep our souls, sometimes we have to live through times like these._

Anakin crouched next to Obi-Wan, not looking at the box now. _I don't think I'll ever forget your face when Siri died. Or when you saw Garen. _He winced; Obi-Wan felt this. _There wasn't any anger in it, and I didn't understand that at the time. I even wanted to be angry at you because you weren't angry at Dooku. But then… I looked at Bant. She had this look on her face, too, like yours, but so bright with pain that I swear I could see her heart breaking. And then, when I looked back at you, I saw the same expression on your face, and I knew that you'd given over anger for sadness. Maybe you could have felt anger, if the circumstances had been a little different, or if they hadn't been your friends, but you felt only grief. That's when I knew your loving heart drew everyone to you. _He bore down on Obi-Wan's hands. _I'm sorry they died. Tell me how I can forget what I saw. If there's a way, I'll take it. I've dreamed about the look on your face twice now._

Obi-Wan wrapped mental arms around his padawan. _There is no way, Anakin, _he sent, _except to give your pain to the Force, and for time to pass. And to keep talking about it. The more you talk, the better you'll feel. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but just as when Qui-Gon died and I thought talking was the last thing I wanted to do, it turned out to be the healing balm I needed. _He drew Anakin close in the physical world as well, hugging him tightly. _We both lived through that battle; talking together will help us both. Like Qui-Gon's death, the pain from this will ease, but only given time. And some of the tings you saw that day may never go away._

Here they halted, though they both sensed there was more to be discussed. They wanted to go on, but exhaustion was taking them both, and though their wills were both strong, the need for sleep was stronger. Emotionally done in, they rose together and went to Obi-Wan's bed. Anakin lay between the sheets and Obi-Wan lay on top, covering them both with the comforter. They fell asleep with Anakin turned away from Obi-Wan, but in the night, they moved together. Then, as dawn turned the sky pink and palest blue, they moved apart again.

Changing the Role of the Jedi Is

The next morning, Anakin awoke with the strangest feeling of contentment. He snuggled into his covers, seeking warmth. Instead, he found a supine body close to his. Cracking one eye open, he grinned to see Obi-Wan's tousled head almost completely under the comforter. Then Anakin remembered how they had sought this bed together without even a word of discussion. _Maybe…_

But reality was harsher than dreams. Anakin remembered that he lay between the sheets, and Obi-Wan lay on top of them. They were still separated, if only by a very thin covering. The younger Jedi sighed. _Never mind. 'Maybe' is the stuff of dreams. Obi will never see me as anything other than a friend._

Obi-Wan was dreaming something; Anakin felt the waves of it in the Force. The padawan resolved to stay out of his master's mind, but when Obi-Wan muttered, "Anakin," in his sleep, the temptation was too much to resist.

_I'll just peek for a second, _the padawan consoled his conscience. Then he closed his eyes and slipped effortlessly into Obi-Wan's mind.

Obi-Wan stood in a spotlight and around him were rank upon rank of clones.

"We're marching into battle this day," Obi-Wan said. "The Jedi Temple has been taken and the Senate building destroyed, but the Republic still lives. We can still rebuild, if only we can retake those things that were taken from us."

"General Kenobi," said one of the clones, stepping forward.

"Yes, Commander Grene?"

"There are only three Jedi left, and though there are many troops, how can only three battalions hope to take back everything?"

"The Force tells me we can do it," Obi-Wan answered, then he stopped. "No, the Force doesn't say that. I say that." He covered his face. "And this isn't right. The war hasn't gone this far yet."

Anakin watched the droids vanish, to be replaced by a thousand B'yrch trees. He watched Obi-Wan lower his hands, then step into the woods. The padawan followed.

Obi-Wan made his way to a small clearing. Here he knelt and bowed his head, his eyes cast to the ground. "Force, please help me," he whispered. "The Jedi are going to fall. You send me that feeling again and again. I don't want the Jedi to fail, not for your purposes, but for my own. Please, Force, don't let us die." He wrapped his arms around his middle. "I know I'm being selfish, and that's no way for a Jedi to remain. But the fall of the Jedi means death to many. I don't want to lose Anakin. Or Bant. Or Reeft. Or any of them. If we are scattered so that we may learn, I can live with that. I can live- somehow- with the destruction of the Temple. It's just a thing, no matter how I feel about it. But to lose more and more lives… Force, please tell me that's not going to happen."

Anakin reached out to the Force, but heard no response. But in reaching out, he brushed against Obi-Wan's mind, and his master froze, then stood.

"Anakin." He shook his head. "Are you part of this dream, or are you really here?"

"I'm really here." Anakin flushed. "You said my name in your sleep, and I… I had to know what you were dreaming." He scuffed a toe in the fall of dry, decaying needles on the forest floor. "Just like when I was nine, I guess." He turned partially away from Obi-Wan. "I'm sorry. I'll leave. I have no right to pry."

"I'm not angry, Padawan mine. There is nothing I wouldn't gladly share with you. I know that sounds strange, considering how I've behaved in the past, but the Force- and Yoda, and you- keep telling me I need to stop keeping things to myself and trying to take on the galaxy with nothing more than my wits."

He chuckled, and the sound made Anakin look at him.

"Depending on the Force is what we're meant to do, but if we can't see past our own mistakes to the will of the Force on our own, we need help from others." He shook his head. "And by 'we', I mean me." He stepped towards Anakin. "So, now that you've seen my full-blown fear, what's your opinion?"

Anakin gaped at him, then managed to get his jaw back up so he could talk. "How can you take this so calmly? How can you switch from being _on your knees_ in front of the Force to this? If you're still feeling all of that, how can you just bury it?"

"Easy," Obi-Wan answered. "There's a bubble all ready for it." He waved his hand and the trees vanished.

Anakin felt his mouth fall open again. "You can just control your dreams?"

"That particular skill comes from many hours of meditation. Most of the time, I just let the Force or my own mind take me where it will, and there are times- like when I was dreaming of the voice endlessly- that I couldn't either change what I was hearing or wake myself up. But usually those are skills I rely on."

"I wish you'd told me about this!" Anakin looked around. The two of them were standing in a meditation room seventy meters long and so high he knew he'd get dizzy if he stared up at the ceiling too long. "Don't answer that. Where are we?"

"This is where I come to meditate." Obi-Wan turned a full circle, and as he gestured, paintings and drawings and plants appeared all around them. "All these are things I've used to focus my mind on a particular problem or to take my mind off a problem that's keeping me from finding peace." He strode towards a meter-tall painting and Anakin followed. "Who is this?" Obi-Wan asked.

"It's me. When I was…" Anakin blinked. The picture was in motion. "When I couldn't hold still?"

"Exactly. I would come here to meditate on the Force in your movements. Trained to sit still, and being somewhat sedentary by nature, I needed to come here and remember that you could still feel the Force when you moved, and that you didn't need periods of inactivity to focus your mind."

"But my mind usually wasn't focused."

"Maybe, but that was more due to your choices of what to think about than because you were moving. I needed to remind myself of that every once in a while."

Anakin wondered how long it would take for him to explore each of the images Obi-Wan had created and hear their stories. He decided he had a more important quest. Turning to Obi-Wan, he asked, "Are you sure the Jedi are going to fall?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "No, but the Force has sent me that feeling more than once. I haven't been able to establish if the feeling comes from the Dark Force or the Light, and that makes a difference, but the feeling doesn't grow less. If the feeling is from the Dark Force- since no part of the Force can lie- the fall of the Jedi may happen two thousand years from now, but the Dark Force is allowing me to draw my own conclusions." He shrugged. "More important in my fear is this: even though we are not supposed to dwell on death, since it will come no matter how much we think about it, I still find myself dreading the idea that I could lose more and more friends. If I fear anything about the end of the Jedi Order, it is that. If you were standing by the clearing about three minutes ago, you would have heard me tell the Force that I don't mind if the Jedi are scattered for Its purposes, but I want all of them to live." He closed his eyes for a moment, then focused on Anakin again. His gaze was more than a little haunted. "I never want to see or sense so much death ever again. It was like I couldn't breathe, and no matter how bad the pain and shock got, they kept getting worse. I was drowning in the arena. The only thing that kept me focused on fighting was first my own weakening body, then the drive to protect others- Gareth, Arnen, Siri." He sighed, and now his eyes were sad. "The Force would help me, of course, and somehow I would get through it, but until I must face that hour, I pray the Force will tell me it won't come until long after I'm dead."

He waved a hand, and a bubble larger than any of those Anakin had seen before, and larger than ten of Anakin's boxes put together appeared in the air above them.

"This is my greatest fear, Anakin. It's not something I can see a way through or a way around, except to keep bringing it to the Force." He snorted. "Qui-Gon told me a thousand times that I concentrated too much on the future, and he was right. Here's the proof." He raised his hand, and the bubble faded from sight.

"Wait," Anakin said. "Bring it back."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at his padawan, but gestured so that the bubble popped back into existence.

Anakin walked to the bubble and laid a hand against it. It didn't pop. That was all right; all Anakin wanted to do was feel it. The thing pulsed like a fast-beating heart, and put out a great deal of energy. "This is more than your biggest fear," he said. "Encasing it in the Light Force hasn't done anything to stop the intensity of it." He touched his belt, seeking his lightsaber. It was there, and he drew it out. "You might want to stand back," he said, activating the weapon.

Obi-Wan strode forward and nudged Anakin back a step. His own lightsaber was in his hand. "If anyone should move back, it should be you. We're talking decades of fear, Anakin. It might be overwhelming."

Anakin wanted to argue, _but, _he reasoned, _as long as he pops the thing, who cares that he does it and not me? _He felt a tickle in the back of his mind, and he acknowledged it. _Yeah, I'm being a hypocrite, wanting to expose and dissipate his feelings and not letting him within shouting distance of mine, but… but…_

_Just 'but'._

Obi-Wan touched the blade of his lightsaber to the bubble and it burst, exploding outward with the force of a man exhaling a long-held breath.

Anakin had thrown up his hands to shelter his face, but the air that rushed past him seemed to go around him rather than trying to knock him down. He wondered at that, but then the sound of someone crying softly drew his attention back to the bubble. Lowering his hands, he stared at very young boy kneeling in midair at about waist height. His small hands were over his face and as he sobbed into them, his whole body shook. The fine, wispy hair that framed the boy's face was auburn.

"Is that… is that you?" Anakin whispered.

Obi-Wan nodded and, after sheathing his lightsaber, went to the child and took him from midair. Cradling him close, he murmured, "Sh, sh. You're safe. Everything's all right."

The child only sobbed harder, now clinging to the man who held him.

Anakin's chest tightened and he had to remind himself that this was just a vision, that the child didn't really exist. Then he thought, _Or maybe he does. This is a part of Obi-Wan, and if it is in pain, then he's in pain. _Anakin looked at his master's face, and saw lines of sorrow etched there that hadn't been visible only a moment ago. _Maybe I shouldn't have suggested we let out this pain. _

"Sh, Obi-Wan," the master murmured. If he felt the ridiculousness of speaking of comforting a child that had once been himself, he didn't let it show. "Sh. You're safe now. I promise you are. The Force is all around you and gives you comfort."

The child shook his head and sniffed hard. "Can't feel it."

"I know, but I promise It's there. The Force will always be there for you." Obi-Wan sat down, crossed-legged, and settled the child in his lap. "Please tell me what's wrong." He brushed at an errant tear that had slipped out of the corner of his eye. More would come; his eyes were bright with them. But his voice remained steady. "I'm here to help."

The child lifted his head. The need for comfort burned in his eyes, turning them into tiny, living jewels. "Did Master Ahleh send you?"

"No. The Force did, which is just as good. Just like Master Ahleh serves the Force, so do I. And so do you."

"I want to, but I'm afraid. I had a nightmare that the Jedi were gone and it was dark everywhere. I couldn't see any Jedi anywhere, and I couldn't hear the fountains that Master Ahleh likes to sit beside. I couldn't hear Master Yoda teaching or masters talking." He shuddered strongly and buried his face against Obi-Wan's chest. "The Jedi are going to go away. I just know it. And when they're gone, who will be here with me?" He sobbed again. "I don't want to be alone. When I'm alone, the monster comes."

"What monster?" Anakin asked. He was addressing his words to his master, and he took a step nearer.

The child whimpered and huddled into Obi-Wan's embrace. "Who's that?"

"His name is Anakin. He's a Jedi, like you and like me."

The child relaxed. "Oh." He glanced at Anakin and even managed a little smile and a wave. Then, looking up at Obi-Wan, he said, "The monster's dark and it comes all the time. It tells me I'm not going to be a Jedi when I get older. It told me I'm not supposed to be a Jedi. And it said that if I'm a Jedi, all the other Jedi will die because of me."

Obi-Wan's hand shook as he rubbed the child's hair. "I remember that monster. It had red eyes and was made of black robes and a face hidden by a curtain of hissing eels." He took in a breath and released some of what he felt into the Force. "I haven't thought about it in years."

"You've seen it, too?" The child stared up at him. "What do you do about it?"

"I never did," Obi-Wan murmured. "One day, I just stopped dreaming about it. But it never went away. It's been living, here, with you."

"I want it to go away!" the child wailed. He clutched at Obi-Wan's tunic with white-knuckled fists. "Can you make it go away? Or take me away?"

Obi-Wan stood, bringing the child with him. His face was ashen, but when he spoke, his voice was steady. His escaped tears were drying on his cheeks. "The monster is the Dark Force's power," he said, "a power strong as the Light Force, but only half of what the Force Itself can give." He shifted the child into one arm. "We need to face it, Obi-Wan. It won't go away unless we face it. And once we've faced it, it won't return." He glanced at Anakin. "Padawan mine, come stand with us, please."

"Obi, it's just an imaginary beast. It can't hurt me."

"No, that's true, just as the wind from the bubble's bursting passed around you. I sensed it doing so. But I felt that wind, and I think I could feel the monster if it attacked me. I need your help."

Anakin was ashamed that he'd only been thinking of himself. He moved to stand beside Obi-Wan. He said, "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. When was the last time you dealt with something like this?"

"Never, but neither have you."

Obi-Wan said without heat or sarcasm, "You were around when I was fourteen? I wasn't aware. I've been in this room before, and faced the monsters of my waking mind. I fought Xanatos here, and Telka, and Dooku."

In Obi-Wan's arms, the child shivered. "The master that… touched me."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, him. But he's not here now, Obi-Wan. We have another monster to face. The Force is going to help us face it, and so is Anakin. We can get through this. I promise. Are you ready?"

The child bit his lip, then nodded. "You should get your lightsaber out."

"That won't help us here. Only faith will do that."

"Okay." The young one's eyes shone with nervousness, but also with purpose. "Let's do it."

Obi-Wan called, "Dark beast! Come out! I will face you now."

There was a sound of growling and the harsh rasp of heavy breathing. It seemed to come from all around them. Anakin's hand dipped automatically to the lightsaber at his side.

"Relax, Padawan mine," Obi-Wan said. "Only the Force can help us."

Feeling stupid, Anakin made his fingers relax.

The child turned his face into Obi-Wan's chest. "Please," he whispered, "don't let it-"

The older Jedi said firmly, "Obi-Wan, you must look. If you don't help me face this, it will walk right over us. It might even kill us. But if you face it, we'll be all right. You need courage. The Force will give you that."

The growling increased in volume, and now they could all hear heavy footsteps as well, though they still couldn't see the monster. And there was nowhere it could hide, so Anakin had the feeling the thing was invisible. That made him want to be afraid, made him want to bring out his lightsaber, but he made himself breathe out his terror. _Shit, Obi, _he thought, even his mental voice shaking, _what kind of screwed-up past did you have?_

"I can't feel the Force!" the child cried.

"You don't have to," Obi-Wan answered. "This is like that trust exercise we did with Master Yoda when we first came to Temple. Even though you can't see him there, you have to trust he's there."

"But he's _solid._ Of course he was there!"

"The Force is solid, too. The monster that's coming is Dark Force, remember, and the whole Force is bigger and stronger than that monster." Then, surprising Anakin, "Being touched at such an early age, being less than the ideal Force-sensitive child, being dumped on the Temple's doorstep at the age of three, being told you're less than nothing all your young life, and being abused before you could even talk would give you interesting monsters, too."

Anakin's jaw dropped for the third time. "What are you talking about? You never told me-"

"I don't even know how much Qui-Gon knew. Only Yoda knew everything, and that's because he talked with me the first day I came to Temple and dimmed all those early memories so they wouldn't keep me awake at night." He held up a hand. "It's almost here. And I think it's going to grace us with a view of itself." He breathed in, then out. "Force," he muttered, "be with us."

"We believe in you even if we can't see you," the child whispered.

"Yes, we do," Obi-Wan murmured.

The air was split by a howl, then the creature appeared. Taller than Anakin had been imagining, and yet in no danger of touching the ceiling above, it was swathed in a black robe and its eyes glowed red, just as Obi-Wan had said. The eels that hung in front of its face managed to twist in such a way that those red eyes were easy to see, but the rest of his face was completely hidden. Looking up at him, Anakin fought an urge to laugh. He knew that wouldn't be respectful, considering how afraid Obi-Wan seemed.

Then Obi-Wan startled him by throwing his head back and laughing.

The monster bellowed, and stooped down over them. The child cowered, and turned his face away again.

Obi-Wan laughter died, but he didn't look afraid. "Hey," he whispered, rubbing the child's back. "Look at it again. How big is it?"

"Huge!" the child cried, hiding its face.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Look," he insisted.

Slowly, the child looked up. He shivered. "Huge."

"Compared to us, yes, but which is bigger, the monster or the room?"

"The room."

"The room is the whole entire Force." Obi-Wan chuckled again. "The monster's small compared to this room, isn't it?"

"But the room can't protect us."

"Yes it can. Just ask it." To Anakin, he said, "The monster's my fear of the Jedi disappearing. It looks huge and dangerous, like my fear feels, and by myself I can't do anything to it, but if I remember that the Force is bigger than my fear, and that It will take care of the Darkness on Its own, I can keep everything in perspective." He shook his head. "That's why I laughed. I should have seen this long ago, especially after our talk yesterday."

Before Anakin could think of anything to say, Obi-Wan turned back to the child in his arms. "Ask the Force to make the monster smaller. If you believe, it will work."

The child hesitated, then, looking up at the ceiling, said, "Please, Force, make the monster smaller."

The creature screamed and reached for them. But before its claws could catch them, its arms shrank into its robe.

Obi-Wan laughed again, and the child in his arms smiled. "Force-" he started.

"Thank the Force first," Obi-Wan murmured.

"Oh- oops- sorry. Um, thank you, Force, for hearing us and making the monster's arms smaller. Please make it smaller again."

The monster leapt at them, and the child shrank back against Obi-Wan, though he kept his eyes open and he didn't look away from the monster. Obi-Wan flinched a little, but he stood firm. Anakin's hand had dropped to his lightsaber again, and he even wrapped his fingers around the hilt.

Before he could draw the weapon however, the monster began to shrink. First it's head changed from the size of a small podracer to the size of muja fruit. Then its legs and torso drew inwards until it stood at Obi-Wan's feet roaring up at him in a tiny voice.

"Can we ask the Force to take it away?" the child asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. The Darkness can't be removed from our lives. That wouldn't solve our problems, because the Light would grow so strong it would start feeding the Darkness. But with the Darkness this size, we can ask the Force to help us face it." He set the child down. "Tell the monster what you think of it."

"You're still scary," the child said, and he stayed very close to Obi-Wan, "but the Force is bigger than you." He swallowed and glanced up at Obi-Wan. "So if the Force is bigger, does that mean the Jedi won't go away?"

"No," Obi-Wan answered, and he crouched before the monster. "But our fear- which made the monster so big in the first place- can be given to the Force. The Force knows what's best. If the Force decides the Jedi must fall, it won't be easy. We'll be in pain and we'll be afraid, but the Force will help us through everything. No matter how bad the nightmares get, no matter what happens every time the sun rises, the Force will always be there to catch us and walk beside us."

The child nodded. "I don't want the Jedi to die."

"Neither do I. But the Force's Will must be followed, because It is wiser than we are, and knows what happened before the existence of the Jedi, and what will happen after they're gone. Our job isn't to keep the Jedi alive, but to serve the Force."

"Okay," the child said, and then the dream disappeared.

Anakin came back to the world to the sound of Obi-Wan laughing softly. The padawan looked at his master, and saw that Obi-Wan was crying as well as laughing. He reached out and laid a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

Obi-Wan reached up and squeezed Anakin's hand. "I'm all right. I'm still afraid for the Jedi, but I never realized how huge that fear had grown." He snickered. "Or how ridiculous it looked in the light of my trust in the Force, and in the light of this truth: the Force's Purpose is to bring balance. It doesn't want either Darkness or Light to die."

"So you think the Jedi will still exist?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, but I'm sure that whatever happens to those of us that are living now, the Force will see to it that some form of the Jedi live on, whatever that form might be." He sat up and glanced at Anakin. "I know we're basically back where we started, but I feel better. I don't want anyone to die, but…" He shrugged. "The Force won't let me dwell anymore on deaths that might never happen." He was silent for a moment, then said softly, "Qui-Gon was right all along, just not in the way he meant it. I need to stop worrying about a future I can't possibly anticipate. All I can do is my best in this moment." He glanced at Anakin. "What a pair we are. You worry about the past while I worry about the future. Somehow, we've both got to start thinking about the present."

And that, as far as Obi-Wan was concerned, was that. He got up and headed into the hall, calling over his shoulder, "By the way, we slept till almost noon. We'd better get going."

Anakin sat completely still for a moment, thinking about the boxes he'd kept hidden from Obi-Wan, but also of one box they hadn't gone through yesterday, but which was gone from his mind nonetheless. It had disappeared when the monster began to shrink.

In the box had been this worry: _I killed the Tusken Raiders in a fit of rage. What kind of monster am I going to be if I can't anticipate my emotions so that I can deal with them before they get too strong?_

And the lesson he'd learned was this: the monster he might become wasn't the person he was now. He could still work at setting his emotions aside, and even though that would probably prove more challenging than he knew, he'd realized that what had occupied most of the space in that box had been his fear of what he would become. He'd given space to something that might or might not happen. And unlike the destruction of the Jedi, he had a much better chance of changing his future because it was _his _future, not the future of hundreds of people.

"Anakin, are you going to leave me to make lunch all by myself?" Obi-Wan called from the kitchen.

Anakin got up. "Coming!" But then his eyes strayed to the bed the two of them had shared for more than twelve hours. He whispered, "And so if I can choose my future, maybe I can find a way to let go of my weaknesses on my own, then tell him how I feel."

oOo

The three Jedi sat across the desk from Palpatine. The chancellor had asked for them only an hour past noon, and though Obi-Wan and Anakin had still been eating at that time, they had left their plates half-full when Yoda asked them to join him in the rotunda's largest office. Once the two had been told who wished to speak with them as well as with Yoda, they lost any appetite they might have had left. Anakin didn't yet feel Obi-Wan's reticence towards Palpatine, but he respected his master's feelings and wanted to look for something to support them. Then they could be taken to Yoda.

Palpatine addressed Obi-Wan. "Do you wish to stay in the Senate?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan answered at once. "There is still much that can be accomplished. There is still a chance for a peaceful end to this war before it gets fairly started."

Palpatine said, "And yet, since you were attacked, ten more star systems have considered leaving the Republic, and four more have already done so. I believe your skills are needed in the field."

Obi-Wan was silent, unsure how to respond. He wished Yoda would say something. He belonged in the Senate, he was sure. Or so his heart told him. But he'd been wrong before.

Palpatine continued: "Maybe Anakin could remain here, take over where you have left off. After all, if he has been trained by you, I'm sure he's an excellent diplomat."

Anakin felt uncomfortable again, as he had when he'd come to talk to the chancellor alone. He reached out through the Force and felt Obi-Wan's calm. He made himself release his anxiety.

"I'm sorry, Chancellor, but that isn't possible. I need Anakin with me."

Palpatine raised an eyebrow in silent disappointment. "In such a time of strained resources, young Master Kenobi, do you think it's wise or proper for you to put your own needs above those of the Republic? Or do you believe Anakin could not handle this assignment?"

Obi-Wan glanced at Yoda. _Help me, _he thought. _I know a little of how to deal with him, but what can I say to something like that?_

He'd kept his thoughts in his own mind, however, and Yoda only gazed back at him. Though the older master seemed to know what Obi-Wan needed, he also seemed confident that Obi-Wan could help himself.

Seeing this, Obi-Wan collected his thoughts, reminding himself that speaking to Palpatine was just like speaking to anyone else. No matter the deference rendered to the chancellor by other Senators, he was still only another living being. Even as Obi-Wan reminded himself of this, unease roiled in his belly. He longed to retreat into half meditation for a breath or two, but he saw that this was impossible. _Force, help me to remember that he's only a person._ He said, "It would be wrong for my padawan not to be out in the field. His skills are needed more there than here."

"Very well, though I think you are abandoning a chance to keep your excellent work going here."

Anakin knew he shouldn't speak, but he felt the needs of the Republic very much on his shoulders. _And maybe this is my first step as the Chosen One, _he thought. "I could go out in the field alone, Master."

Obi-Wan answered in the padawan's mind, _Or with Reeft._

Anakin accepted that, even though he was disappointed. Mostly he was just relieved that Obi-Wan hadn't chastened him for speaking out when he shouldn't have.

Obi-Wan said, "Master Yoda, perhaps we should consider this before we act."

The chancellor said sternly, "The time for meditation is over, young Master Kenobi. We need action. Every day we gain more enemies."

Yoda said, "Ryn-yn Obi-Wan's place in the Senate will take. To these seceding planets Obi-Wan and Anakin will go."

Palpatine nodded. "As you wish, Master Yoda. You know your Jedi, of course."

The three Jedi left the chancellor's office. Obi-Wan scarcely breathed until they were outside. He was reminded that he needed to speak to Yoda about his dream. But when they exited the Senate, Yoda began to speak. He was riding on his floating chair so that he traveled along on Obi-Wan's right while Anakin walked on his master's other side.

"Wished to put a Council member in the Senate I did not, but no choice we have."

Obi-Wan blinked. "When did Master Ryn-yn become a member of the Council?"

"When left Master Zee did, though time it took to make a decision as to one to replace him. And still filled the other empty place has not been. But talk about that later we will. Answer a question you will, Obi-Wan. Sense what do you about Palpatine that leave him near Anakin you do not wish to?"

Obi-Wan hesitated. He didn't know how to answer. "It's nothing definite, only that he-"

"Withholding information you are. Trust your feelings, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan swallowed. "I don't feel comfortable around him. There isn't a feeling about him in the Force, either Dark or Light, but I can't shake the feeling that he's dangerous and that when he's behind closed doors he laughs at all of us and plans for the downfall of the Republic and the Jedi."

"He'd have to be a Sith to do that," Anakin said. He sent, trying to reassure his master, _He's just a politician, Obi. _

"I don't trust him," Obi-Wan maintained. "I just don't. Can't. He feels…"

Yoda said softly, "Speak the word which came into your mind."

Obi-Wan hesitated, but now he'd been caught in his trepidation. He had to say the word that had flitted through his mind. _More than flitted. I've thought it before, and more than a few times._ "Evil. And like…" His eyes went to the bridge they would need to cross. "Master, do we have time?"

"Hmmmph. Make the time we will. Stop stalling."

_How many times has the Force said the same thing? _Obi-Wan braced himself. Once the words were out, words he was sure he hadn't fully worked out in his own heart and mind, he wouldn't be able to take them back. At least they would lead to his concerns for his daughter, and the feelings he'd had about her back on Ragoon 6, the feelings that might have been living in him all this time, purposely ignored. "He feels like Annie. My daughter. I had this feeling about her on Ragoon, then again on Dagobah during a vision and before that, when Adee had been trying to use her as a way to get to me." When he said that, he realized it was true, but that he hadn't acknowledged it until now. "Both Annie and Palpatine feel evil. I don't like or trust that word, but anything weaker isn't enough. I don't want to judge anyone."

"Why?" Yoda demanded. "Because unfairly judged you were?"

Obi-Wan blinked. He'd thought he was used to Yoda's perceptiveness by now. "Yes," he admitted.

"To discern all Jedi must learn, and some are quicker to accept their gift than others. Accept that have a gift for discernment you do."

"But, Master, I never had it. It was Qui-Gon who always had that gift."

Yoda waved a negligent hand. "Develop new gifts every day we do. Accept this gift you must."

Obi-Wan thought, unconsciously letting Anakin share in the notion, _It's like being back on Dagobah and being told I have to say I'm a great Jedi._

"Hmmmph. A great Jedi you are."

Obi-Wan blushed. _All right. _"I have a new gift of discernment."

Yoda nodded. "Perhaps make you mediate on that I should."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Forgive me, Master, but you and the Force think the same."

"Good to hear that is, and flattering." Yoda frowned. "Tell Ryn-yn of your concerns I will, and watch Palpatine closely he will. Also, watched Annie must be." He raised an eyebrow at Obi-Wan, who had opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated once again. "Have something else to add do you?"

Obi-Wan told about the vision he'd seen on Dagobah and the one the Force had sent him. "Annie is in danger," he finished. "She needs someone to take care of her and make sure that she stays away from the Dark Side."

"Speak with her I will," Yoda said.

Obi-Wan's heart lifted. "Thank you. I know you'll be able to help her."

"Only help her can I if wished to be helped she does." He touched Obi-Wan's shoulder. "But try I will, and ask that her teachers watch her carefully I will. Help we will give her."

oOo

In the late afternoon shadows, Anakin and Obi-Wan crossed the platform towards the ship they would take on the first of many missions conducted in the name of ending the war with as few casualties as possible. They took no clones with them, despite Palpatine's suggestion that each Jedi should take a small battalion 'for protection'. Yoda hadn't passed this command on to the rest of the Jedi, though Obi-Wan and Anakin had been present when the chancellor contacted Yoda with his advice.

The two Jedi had said good-bye to those they needed to, including Obi-Wan speaking a word of apology to Bant for the meeting with her and Reeft he hadn't been able to attend. Her answer: "I didn't expect you to be there once you were shot. Honestly, Obi-Wan." But she'd been smiling. "And you seem better now, spiritually as well as physically."

"Yes," he'd admitted, "but what about you and Reeft?"

She'd smiled. "We met anyway- by your bedside- and meditated together on not only the Force, but on the loss of the others. It would have been peaceful if we hadn't been so worried about you. So just do us a favor and try not to get hurt again, all right?"

Obi-Wan smiled as he remembered their hurried conversation. He was standing a little away from the ship, called there by a sense that he had one more person to say good-bye to. Anakin had taken both of their packs and was running the systems check before they took off.

The clicking of a stick on the duracrete drew Obi-Wan's attention back to the Temple, and he watched Yoda crossing the platform. He came partway himself, then bowed to the master.

"Surprised to see me you are not."

"The Force told me to wait."

Yoda nodded. "Listening well to the Force you are." He leaned on his gimmer stick. "When believe do you that ready for his Trials Anakin will be?"

"I'd say within a few months. Maybe sooner. Probably by the time we complete our third or fourth mission. He's done some quick growing up in the past few months."

"Evident that is in the way he walks and talks. And evident it is also that grown he has in the last week."

Obi-Wan nodded, thinking of all he and Anakin had talked about, and, yet, all they hadn't talked about. He knew that last was part of the reason he wanted to give Anakin more time before his Trials. He didn't want his padawan to still be hiding so much when he faced his Trials. That was almost a guaranteed failure.

Yoda said, his voice quieter, "Changing the role of the Jedi is. Learn how to become generals we must and lead troops into battle."

Obi-Wan nodded, and was relieved when his old fears didn't fly up around him. Talking to the child in his mind really had helped. _Thank you, Force._ "What Anakin and I are doing will only make the flood a little less."

Yoda _hmmphed _softly. "True that is, but lessened we need the flood to be if win this war we are going to. And faith I have in you, Obi-Wan. Help greatly you and your padawan will."

"Thank you, Master."

"May the Force be with you."

"And with you." Obi-Wan watched Yoda start back towards the Temple, then he headed towards the ship. Entering, he saw that Anakin was making the last checks. Obi-Wan slipped into the seat beside his padawan. "Are we ready?"

Anakin nodded. "We have clearance."

"Then take us out of here if you would."

Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan. "What did Master Yoda say?"

"Not much. Only that we must be prepared to function as generals in a time of war. That doesn't apply to you and me just yet, since we're on a mission of peace, but it would be good for both of us to learn how to command troops. I know something about it, but I've never done more than study the techniques a little. We'll both need some practice when we return."

Anakin activated the engines and the ship began to rise. "War's ugly," he said. "It's turning us from peacemakers into fighters." He shook his head. "I always loved flying and lightsaber training best, but never for attacking anyone."

"That's the first ugliness of war. Peacemakers becoming fighters." He gestured towards the sky above them. "But for now, we have another mission to concern ourselves with. When we return to Temple, we'll learn more about this war and our place in it. For the time being, we are still diplomats."

oOo

Yoda sat on one cushion and Annie sat across from him on another. "Wish to speak with you I do," Yoda said. "Understand I do that your parentage troubles you?"

She shook her head. "No, Master. I know that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are my parents, and I don't mind."

"Obi-Wan your 'mother' is, but only in name is Qui-Gon your father. Perhaps thought to spare you from that truth Master Obi-Wan did, but now that old enough you are, time it is that knew the truth you did."

"But Jedi aren't supposed to lie!" Her eyes were wide.

Yoda blinked benignly at her, feeling a little surprise at her reaction. "Perfect no Jedi is. Make mistakes we all do. But difficulty this lie has caused, yes." He made sure she was looking at him. "Understand you must. Raped Obi-Wan was." He wondered if he would have to explain what 'rape' was, but she nodded.

"By Adee. He told me."

_When taken from Temple you were._ Yoda shook his head. "Not by Adee. By one you have never met. His name was ber'Nac. Padawans he and Obi-Wan were when happened this did. Born on Ragoon 6 you were."

"Anakin told me about that."

"Good. Know you must that wanted you to be Qui-Gon's child Obi-Wan did, because very much in love they were. But even though ber'Nac's child you are, cared for you always Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have. Your parentage bothered them did not."

She was silent for a while, then she said, "Who was ber'Nac? What was he like?"

Yoda considered that question. "Once a dedicated padawan he was, but, corrupted by his interest in the Dark Force, he moved away from the Jedi. Tried to bring him back we did, but left the Temple he did."

"Are you sure I'm his? Maybe Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had sex around that time, too."

"No. Made love they did not. Little time they had, and to follow the Force was their first duty."

Again, she was silent for a time. At last, she said, "ber'Nac raped him?"

"Yes."

"Why don't I look like ber'Nac? Now I know why I don't look like Qui-Gon- I've seen pictures of him- but why don't I look like ber'Nac?"

"Answer that I cannot," Yoda answered, "except to say that many times children look like one or the other of their parents do not. More common among some races that is than others. But know you must that parentage at Temple doesn't matter. Dedicated to serving the galaxy we are, and so matters our parentage does not. Children of the Force we all are."

She nodded. "I know, Master. But I can't help it that I have questions about my parents. What was Qui-Gon like?"

Yoda was quiet for a time. She was missing the point. How could he help her? "If know about him you wish to, search the archives you should. There find you will all the information you wish. Talented he was, and dedicated to the Force he was."

"Can I ever get Obi-Wan to talk to me?"

"Choose to speak with you or not to speak _Master_ Obi-Wan's choice that is. But if speak to you he will not, know that wishing to keep a distance between the two of you he is. His wish it was for you to become an Initiate, but knew he did that raise you himself he could not, and that if too close to you he became, a challenge to you it would become."

"That's what he said." She looked down at her hands. "Master Yoda, if I can't ever know anything about them except through the archives, then I don't need to know. It's just… I thought it would be nice to have parents." She blushed. "Please don't be angry with me."

"Angry with you I am not. A time there is in every Jedi's life when seeks he or she does the answers to where he or she came from. Perhaps further research you will choose to do, but ask I do that you remember that the Force your parent is now, and that your brothers and sisters the rest of the Jedi are."

"Yes, Master." Annie rose and bowed. "Forgive me, Master, but I have work to do for my classes."

Yoda said, "Go you may. Perhaps speak again in a while we will."

She escaped.

When he was alone, Yoda called the Force around him. Wrapping it close like a cloak and drinking it like a thirsty man desperate for water, Yoda thought, _Guarded she is. A threat in itself that is not, but who taught her how to shield her mind so completely? _He knew he would be paying a visit to her teachers, and that he would be checking up on her more often. _Perhaps more affected by seeing death she was than first I believed. _And, of course, he did not forget Obi-Wan's words about her, or those that the Dark Force had sent to the younger Jedi master.

_Seek the Force in this at all times I will, _he resolved. He rose and started towards the door. He would speak to her teachers at once.

oOo

Annie's hands were shaking. Knowing that Crista wouldn't return for another three or four hours, she locked the door to their shared quarters and sank onto the bed. Now it was more than her hands that were shaking. She closed her eyes and whispered, "It's over. It's over. He didn't hear my thoughts. If he had, he would have said something. I'm safe. I'm safe."

Fear had driven her to keep her shields up, even though she knew Yoda could easily have demolished them. So the Voice had told her. It had come to her twice since Adee's death, telling her that she had done well, and that it wasn't her fault Obi-Wan had lived. _In time, _it told her, _you may have a chance to do what Adee and so many others could not. He is the last roadblock between what exists now and what we all want: happiness and fulfillment._

She hadn't been ready to hear those words, or to accept that she might have to kill Obi-Wan, but in the last few months, she had experienced several betrayals, and though they weren't directly caused by Obi-Wan, if he was the true pin in the whole Jedi operation, she wanted him gone only so that those who had hurt her would pay.

The Jedi Order, with all its rules and bigotry, stood in her way of happiness. That being true, and if Obi-Wan was the roadblock, then he must be the center of the Jedi Order. (With a child's mind she was sure of this and didn't think to test it until much time had passed.) If he was dead, the Jedi Order would fall. And when the Jedi fell, those who had hurt her would pay.

There were several of these, but a particular master needed to die. He'd gotten in her way twice now as she went exploring, and though he hadn't reprimanded her, he had effectively stopped her.

"Ryn-yn Yil," she whispered, and her small hands balled themselves into tight fists. She breathed in, then out, letting go of the edge of her anger, just in case someone walked in and saw her. She retained the core of her rage for herself, hiding it away from all that would take a glance at the surface of her mind.

When she was only four, she'd become separated from her class during a walk through the Garden of Light. She had stopped for just a moment to look at a flower, and when she looked up, they'd been gone. She'd searched everywhere, but hadn't found them, and no matter how she called, they didn't return. And no one came to look for her.

Two hours later, she was sitting on a bench, swinging her legs and refusing to cry. Then she'd heard footsteps, and she looked up. A master was walking down the path. She'd waited to see if he would turn and notice her, but when he didn't, she called, "I need help."

He'd come to her, and though he crouched down before her and spoken gently, she'd felt in him that he was distracted. He couldn't seem to stop staring at her, even while his voice was gentle and kind. Then he'd taken her back to her room. She'd been disciplined for not returning, and no matter how she protested, it was determined that she could have returned to the class if she'd tried hard enough.

That was her first meeting with Ryn-yn Yil. The second was like it. While being introduced to the library, she saw a statue she wanted. It was high up, and she used the Force to bring it down. While she was staring at it, the rest of her class had moved on. This time, she stayed where she was, thinking they would come back, that they would be worried. At least her classmates would notice she was missing, right? Again, no one had come for her.

And then Ryn-yn appeared again. He took the statue from her, demanded to know where she was supposed to be (all the while staring at her like he'd never seen her before) then escorted her back to her class, all the while lecturing her endlessly.

She might have been content to forget these two experiences, but he seemed to always show up when she was in trouble, whether of her own making or someone else's. He'd found her in the Restricted Archives once (she'd been looking for the answer to a dream and so had broken in, knowing that none of her teachers would be able to explain) and he'd seen to it that she was made to do six katas. She'd been so tired afterwards that she'd fallen asleep in her next class and been punished again.

Why was he always there to yell at her? She wasn't quite sure, but she'd come to believe it wasn't an accident. Obviously he had something against her. So Ryn-yn had to go, if only so she could have a touch of freedom. It wasn't right that she had to always be looking over her shoulder.

Another nuisance, who had been even more annoying as of late, was a padawan named Nela. She spent much time in the younglings' room, and when Annie had at last left the younglings (3-8) room, graduated a little early because of her accomplished 'saber and Force skills, Nela had moved to the same room. It was as if she, too, had been given a directive to watch Annie, and she wouldn't let it drop for a minute. Whenever Annie was thinking about trying something new and exciting, Nela was always there. And the one time Annie was sure she'd eluded her guard, both Nela and Ryn-yn had popped up just as she was about to go explore her father's quarters (Obi-Wan's, not Qui-Gon's; for a reason she couldn't understand, she'd always felt more drawn to Obi-Wan).

"Well, now I know why," she muttered. "It's because Obi-Wan is my parent and Qui-Gon isn't. Somehow, I just knew that."

She flopped back onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling. _It would be right if I had no reason to get back at them all, but Ryn-yn and Nela are just 'products of their environment'. _She'd learned that phrase while reading about centuries-old societies for her Galactic History (1) class. _All the Jedi are corrupt. Maybe not the younger ones, who haven't had a chance to be brainwashed yet, but all the older ones. _She wondered what she could do to save the younger ones. _Well, whatever I do, I have to do it quickly, before they start believing the lies everyone keeps telling us._

oOo

They were an hour from Feltho III, a planet divided; the government wanted to leave the Republic, but the people were insisting that the planet remain. A coup seemed imminent.

"We'll present ourselves to the government first," Obi-Wan said, "then we must convince the people to talk to us. If we can convince both sides we're there to prevent war and not force any issues-"

"While using the Force as much as possible," Anakin said.

"Ha. Very funny, Padawan mine. Once they're convinced-"

"Obi?"

"You wish to interrupt my plans?"

"Just for a minute." Anakin raised an eyebrow at his master. "May I?"

Obi-Wan shrugged, smiled. "Why not?"

"I think you should go to the people, and I'll go to the government. We'll accomplish two things at once. Besides, if I'm going to be a Jedi in a few years-"

"Or months," Obi-Wan murmured.

Anakin grinned. "Or months, don't you think I should get some experience as a diplomat? Watching you work your magic in the Senate was fun and all, but I think I need a chance to test some of the things I've learned from you."

Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to lift an eyebrow. "Do you think you're ready?"

Anakin didn't hesitate. "Yes. And I'll keep our bond open at all times so you can help me if I get stuck." He turned away from the controls and faced Obi-Wan seriously. "I know this is going to be a challenge, but I really think I can do this, Master." Then he waited.

This new patience was what convinced Obi-Wan. "All right. You know most of the situation, but-" He stopped. "You have that look on your face again, Padawan mine."

"What look?"

"You want to ask me something."

Anakin blushed. He'd thought he was getting better about hiding his thoughts, or at least from keeping them out of his expression. But hesitation and denial wouldn't get him anywhere. "Do you really think I'm ready for the Trials?"

"You were eavesdropping." Obi-Wan shook his head.

Obi-Wan didn't sound annoyed; Anakin risked a small smile. "Yes, Master." He waited for Obi-Wan to speak, but when his master didn't, the padawan asked, "So, do you think I'm ready?"

Obi-Wan frowned. "Maybe if you stopped spying a little I could keep secrets from you. After all, I didn't want you worrying about the Trials just yet, but for them to be a natural outgrowth of-"

"Obi?"

"What? Anakin, I'm not used to having my speeches interrupted."

"Yes, you are. We've known each other for eight years."

Obi-Wan uttered a long-suffering sigh, but his eyes were dancing. "Yes, you could be ready soon. Your skills can't be denied. And now that you've taken steps towards true healing and peace, anything is possible." He raised a cautioning finger. "Not that healing and the pursuit of peace will end when you become a Knight. The quest for true serenity never ends."

Anakin grinned. "Are you ever going to get tired of telling me that?"

"As I've said before, not before you get tired of hearing it."

Anakin met Obi-Wan's gaze. "Keep telling me," he said quietly. "I need the reminder." He paused, then tried to voice a question that had been bothering him since he'd returned from his assignment to protect Padme. But all he could manage at first was: "Obi?"

"Yes?"

Anakin swallowed, found his voice. Afraid that he would blush, he turned his eyes to the instruments before him. "When I become a Knight, will we still be allowed to work together?"

Obi-Wan was silent for so long that Anakin gave into his curiosity and glanced at his master. To his relief, the corners of Obi-Wan's mouth were tilted up in a small smile. "No one can see the future, but if there is a way we can work together and still pursue the will of the Force, yes."

"Don't sound so thrilled about it."

He'd meant it as a joke, but Obi-Wan hadn't heard that obviously. He turned and grasped Anakin's shoulders. All humor was gone from his face. "Sometimes, because I'm trying to say the right thing and guide you in the right direction, things don't come out the way I want them."

He met Anakin's gaze, and the padawan had reason to be glad of his looseness of his trousers.

Obi-Wan said, "I want nothing more than to continue working with you. As a padawan or knight, I hope you'll always be my partner."

Touched, Anakin bowed his head slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you." He reached up, touched Obi-Wan' hand on his shoulder, enjoyed the little thrill this gave him, then forced himself to look away. "We're almost out of hyperspace. Wasn't it you who taught me that a mission starts even before it really starts?"

Obi-Wan nodded and pulled away. For a moment, his gaze stayed on Anakin, then he turned his eyes to his own instruments. "I'm sure you've read up on Feltho III, but let me give you a few things that aren't in the Archives."

Wanting to tease, needing Obi-Wan to smile, Anakin asked lightly, "Then how do you know them, oh wise master mine?"

"Qui-Gon and I visited this world when I was eighteen." And though the words were seriously meant, Obi-Wan couldn't quite hide a smile. The trace of tension between them passed, and was forgotten, in a very short time, by both.


	37. Trials 1

**Author's Note:** Due to a pinched nerve, responsibilities to family, a new, heavier work schedule, my desire to get my first novel published and my second one well underway, I won't be writing two chapters a week for a while. But _Targets_ will continue. May the Force be with you.

Estel Baggins

Trials (1)

Anakin gazed at Obi-Wan across the low table that separated them. There were candles on the table and a small vase of glis'lilia. They had only just returned to Temple after two months of being away, and Obi-Wan had asked Anakin to stay out of their quarters for an hour or so after their return. When he'd called Anakin to their quarters, Anakin had found the small table laid just like this. He'd wondered where Obi-Wan had gotten the table, somewhat lower than the one that sat in front of their couch, but he'd been overwhelmed by the throbbing, hypnotic sound of Obi-Wan chanting in a language Anakin had never heard. He'd approached and, after listening to the last stanza, sat to one side of the table. After bowing to Anakin, Obi-Wan sat across from him.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, and Anakin, sensing the Force awakening around him, did likewise, reaching out to his master.

_What does glis'li mean? _Obi-Wan asked.

_Yours forever, _Anakin answered.

_I will be your partner forever, Anakin, no matter how our relationship changes. Do you believe me?_

_Yes. _Anakin's heartbeat picked up a little, but, with a breath, he calmed it. This, along with many other skills, had been perfected during their time away from Temple. _And I'll always be yours._

_Thank you, Padawan mine._

Anakin sensed a finality in those words. He responded instinctively. _Master Obi, what is it?_

_Your Trials are going to take place at sunrise. And I must leave you tonight so that you can prepare. _He gave Anakin a moment to absorb this shock, then he said, _You may choose to stay here or to be escorted to a set of empty quarters where you can spend the night._

Anakin felt almost dizzy with surprise. He felt excitement, but also sadness. He hadn't thought the end to their master-padawan relationship was going to come so soon. Despite Obi-Wan's words on the way to Feltho III, he'd never imagined his Trials were this near. He kept this next thought to himself: _And I still haven't told him how I feel._

The reason for that hadn't changed. He'd had nightmares about Adee several times, and each time when he woke up, he longed to tell Obi-Wan all his fears. But he couldn't. They'd both felt the Dark Force's growing power as they worked on different worlds, and Anakin feared more and more for Obi-Wan. He didn't dare be less than the ultimate protector for his master. What if he broke down at the wrong time? Who would protect Obi-Wan then? Granted, Obi-Wan had defended himself many times in the last eight weeks, but Anakin couldn't shake the feeling that he was all that really stood between Obi-Wan and death.

Coming back to the real world, Anakin asked, _If I stayed here, you would go somewhere else for the night?_

Obi-Wan nodded; Anakin sensed the movement through their bond.

_Where?_ he asked.

_That I can't tell you. We're meant to be apart, without any way of contacting each other._ He smiled a little. _It's more tradition than anything else, but just like Qui-Gon and I didn't know where the other was during those hours before my own Trails, so it is meant to be with us._ A pause, then, _Considering all that's been happening lately, I'll say this much: if you contact Reeft, he'll know where to find me. He'll be in his quarters tonight._

Anakin nodded, grateful for that, and wondering how badly Obi-Wan had broken the rules. _Is it all right if I stay here?_

_Yes, of course. _Another pause, and now Anakin sensed his master's hesitation.

_Obi? _He reached out a mental hand, wanting to give comfort.

_It's nothing, Anakin, only that you and I must sever our training bond now. Some masters and padawans choose to do this at different times, but considering how close you and I are, I think we should give ourselves a few hours to adjust._

Anakin nodded again. _And after… Can we have a new bond? Can two Jedi not training together, and not in love, have a bond?_

_None ever have, as far as I know, but that shouldn't stop us. _He chuckled softly, and Anakin felt the tenderness of that sound like a warm hand on his shoulder. _Be at peace, Anakin. I'll see you in about ten hours. _And he took a step towards Anakin in that distanceless space between minds, touched Anakin's mind for a moment- that feeling of tenderness grew- then severed their link.

Anakin did the same, and when it was done, he felt empty. With a soft groan, he opened his eyes and met Obi-Wan's across the table.

"The emptiness and shock will fade," Obi-Wan said. "Severing a bond- truly cutting it off from both ends- is much different than putting up a shield. Shields are, more or less, a created thing, where a bond is organic."

"So I just cut off my foot?" Anakin asked, trying to smile.

"More or less," was the answer he was given. Then Obi-Wan stood. He waited until Anakin was also up, then he bowed. "Someone will come to escort you."

Anakin bowed, but couldn't find any words that sounded appropriate to his own ears. The enormity of the step he was taking was at last sinking in.

Obi-Wan nodded to the younger Jedi, then turned for the door.

Anakin swallowed, reached out with one hand, keeping himself from reaching through the Force only by an act of will.

Obi-Wan seemed to sense the gesture. He turned, opened his arms.

Anakin came to him and they embraced for a long moment. Then Anakin drew back. "Thank you for teaching me," he said.

"You're welcome. It was a pleasure." Then Obi-Wan left.

Anakin sank into a meditative posture in the middle of the room. Those last words- _it was a pleasure_- usually sounded formal, and he'd only ever heard them during meetings, never between friends. But he'd seen all the true sincerity in Obi-Wan's eyes when he spoke, and he knew that Obi-Wan meant the phrase more than all the politicians and rulers who had spoken it in the last hundred years.

oOo

Anakin removed his blindfold. He'd known it was Obi-Wan he was fighting before their blades even met. Not because there was some trace of the bond still functioning, but because he'd practiced reading the Force-signature of those around him. It was, in fact, the only skill he'd devoted himself to while under Zee's dubious tutelage, besides flying and mechanics. He let this one lesson Obi-Wan had invited him to study stand for all the ones he was blowing off. Being so deeply immersed in the Force had calmed him, though he hadn't associated this truth with the Force.

Knowing who he fought gave him an amazing edge, though he knew almost at once that Obi-Wan wasn't using every trick he could. Would the Council see this and think Obi-Wan was favoring his padawan? Not wanting this to happen, Anakin redoubled his efforts, but the harder he fought, the more Obi-Wan seemed to relax. He blocked all of Anakin's blows and scarcely attacked. Anakin thought, _If he's this good, how did Dooku defeat him?_

Before he could do more than let the thought pass through his mind, Yoda had called an end to the first task, telling Anakin to take off his blindfold.

And so it was that Anakin now stood looking at Obi-Wan and wanting so badly to ask what the point of the contest had been, and longing to know if he'd done right and if Obi-Wan hadn't been too restrained in his attacks. But one look at the serene and (scarce to be seen) pleased look on his master's face convinced Anakin that all had gone as planned, even if he didn't understand. Realizing this, he let go of his anxiety. If Obi-Wan was content, then everything had gone well.

Anakin clipped his lightsaber to his belt and, prompted by the tilt of Obi-Wan's chin (a proud tilt if Anakin had ever seen one) he bowed deeply to his master.

Obi-Wan returned the bow, then turned to Yoda and the other masters above them. Again, he bowed, and Anakin followed suit. Then, without a word to any, he turned and left the room, casting Anakin a glance that Anakin interpreted as 'follow me'.

When the two of them were alone in a small room just off the larger one, Obi-Wan held out his hand for the blindfold and Anakin gave it to him. This Obi-Wan folded and slipped into a pouch on his belt. Then he said, "You have two tasks more before you leave the assembly area. You'll duel two Jedi. As was the goal when you were a youngling, you are not challenged to defeat them, but to survive for a set time with each. With the first, you will survive for an hour, and with the second, fifteen minutes is your goal. Do you have any questions?"

Anakin was silent for a moment. The first was obviously a test of endurance and it would serve him better to reserve his strength and keep his movements small and economic. But the other: who would he fight for only fifteen minutes? "You can't tell me who I'm dueling, can you?"

Obi-Wan shook his head, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I'm only allowed to say this much: I never had to do this exact type of test when I took my own Trials. This new one was put in place five years after I became a master."

So, even if Obi-Wan knew what was coming, he'd never had the experience himself, and, in any case, he wasn't allowed to tell Anakin more. The padawan nodded. "I understand."

"Good. Are you ready, or will you meditate first? You have seven more minutes before you're expected to be back in the other room."

Anakin sank onto his haunches and closed his eyes. He longed to just rush out and get this over with, but to survive, he would need patience more than strength. He called on the Force and half-meditated, centering his mind and lowering the speed of his breathing and heartbeat. When he opened his eyes what seemed like an eternity later, he saw that Obi-Wan was watching him with a peculiar expression on his face. Still deep within his trance, Anakin couldn't at first read the look, and in the next moment, it was gone. Shrugging, knowing he would have time later to ask, he rose. "Is it time?"

"You have another minute. Are there any last questions?"

"Is there anything you would like me to ask, Master?" He was half-teasing, but he was genuinely curious.

"No," Obi-Wan answered, and that small smile was curving his lips again. "It's only required that I ask you before you enter the assembly room again."

That was a relief. Anakin wasn't missing anything. He nodded. "Don't worry about me."

Obi-Wan blinked at him. "I'm not." Then he turned and strode through a smaller door, leaving Anakin to enter the large room alone.

When Anakin emerged, he at first saw no one in the large open space. Then, high above him, Adi Gallia called, "Are you ready, Padawan?"

"Yes, Master."

She nodded, then Force-leapt down to him. She stood ten paces away, her hands at her sides. She bowed.

Anakin returned the gesture.

From above them, Mace said, "Begin."

Faster than any eye could follow, Adi Gallia had her lightsaber in her hand.

But Anakin didn't need his eyes. He'd felt the upswing in the song of the Force, and his own weapon was ready just as quickly.

But she didn't attack. She began to circle.

Anakin did the same, calling the peace and patience of his half-meditative state to stay with him. He mustn't lose it now. _This is a test of endurance, _he reminded himself again. _Patience, not strength, will determine the outcome._

Then Adi leapt, and Anakin, caught off guard, having expected her to circle until he attacked, almost dropped his lightsaber as hers hummed against his with a sound of a thousand frying circuits and the strength of a sandstorm wind. He recovered himself and retreated to collect his wits, but from that moment on, he didn't assume anything about the hour he must spend with this master.

Their dance was beautiful. Moving to the tune of the Force, they could have been part of a dance troop, their lightsabers augmenting the splendor of the movements. Anakin no longer tried to think, but only felt. Disappearing into the Force, he breathed into the dance. Their lightsabers crossed now and then, but mostly they missed as move after move spun them around each other. Sometimes, they leapt, but mostly what they had was an economy of movement that would have drawn awe from any non-Jedi spectator, and drew a smile from Obi-Wan, who had taken a place near Yoda.

In his mind, Anakin began to form a picture of Adi Gallia's movements. This was done unconsciously, but with absolute precision. The next time she came at him, he thought he knew how she would move, and he spun away, leaving his back defenseless. But his instincts had been right; his turn carried him far from her blade with only two steps, and put her off-balance. Turning again on his barely-shifting feet, Anakin caught her blade on the downstroke and was able to flick it up and away. It almost fell from her hand.

She blinked, then retreated a few steps, recollecting herself.

_That won't work again, _Anakin thought. _She won't try that stroke again, and she probably won't try her usual style again, at least not right away. _He'd learned long ago not to expect opponents to fall into the same trap twice. And even if she did, he must assume that she would be ready for him. None of that meant he wouldn't try an opening if he saw one, but he maintained his calm through it all. If there was to come another opportunity to throw her off-balance, he would be ready, but he would seek after one with all his heart.

Again, they danced, circling more widely now. Anakin had begun to sweat; he could feel it under his tunic, and he wondered how much time had passed.

She leapt at him, and he brought up his blade too fast. It flew from his hand.

He Force-leapt back from her, calling his blade to him with the Force. _Pay attention! _he berated himself. Then he let all thoughts go. Dwelling on his mistake would only cause more problems. Like a flash of lightning illuminating a nightscape, he realized that Obi-Wan had been right: dwelling on past mistakes would only make things worse. He'd known, in his mind, the wisdom of this, but now he knew it, as it were, in his bones.

They resumed their dance. He managed to turn three more strokes of hers, and even, near the end of their time, to knock the blade out of her hand. Then Mace called an end to the contest.

Anakin took a step back and bowed to her.

She returned the gesture. "Well done," she said. Then she turned and strode from the floor.

He watched her away, then turned back towards the balcony where the Council sat. He picked out Obi-Wan's visage, but couldn't read his expression.

The Force warned him to turn and he did, leaping back as well. He watched as Yoda landed just where he had been. _Yoda? Yoda?! I have to fight Yoda?!_

"Ready you are?" Yoda asked.

Anakin bit his lip, then left off it. He called the Force around him, afraid he wouldn't be able to feel that same peace again, but it came, quickly swathing him in a warm, strengthening embrace. He bowed to Yoda. "Yes, Master."

Fighting Yoda was a different kind of dance. Yoda kept after Anakin, and used more than his blade. Anakin constantly had to block Force-pushes and pulls and tosses. He was thrown off his feet three times, but each time, he turned the fall into a roll or into an opportunity to gain some other kind of distance between himself and the master. Pressed hard continually, he might have wondered if he could survive the fifteen minutes, if there had been time for wondering. There wasn't, and he just concentrated on defending himself and staying on his feet.

He saw three opportunities to counterattack during the battle, but didn't take the first two. Initially, he couldn't bring himself to attack Yoda because he was afraid he'd make a mistake, and when he got over this (about five minutes later) he didn't take the second opportunity because he saw in Yoda's eyes that the master was deliberately laying a trap for him. He refused to take it.

But the third opportunity came, and he saw no reason not to take it. Dropping to one knee, he scooped the Force out from under Yoda so that the Jedi master stumbled. Anakin had planned for him to fall, but stumbling was all he was going ot get. He took it. Leaping, he kicked out and swung down with his lightsaber. At the last moment, he drew his foot back, using it to pivot on, and threw Yoda across the open space with the Force. He'd never planned to use his lightsaber. Instead, as Yoda gained his feet and trod forth, Anakin stood ready. He'd done the move to give himself time to breathe.

But Yoda stopped a dozen steps from Anakin and slipped his lightsaber into its holster. He waited until a shocked Anakin had done the same, then bowed.

Anakin returned the gesture, feeling like he'd woken from a very strange dream to find that the world was also strange.

"Your last Trial only remains," Yoda said. "Escort you Master Obi-Wan will." He turned away and started towards the steps to the balcony. The rest of the Council members were coming down. Obi-Wan already stood by the steps and after a whispered word from Yoda, he approached Anakin. With another 'follow me' gesture, he led his padawan from the room.

"Was that a whole fifteen minutes?" Anakin asked when they were alone in the corridor.

"I can't answer that." Obi-Wan had been walking a few paces ahead, but now he dropped back and laid a hand on Anakin's arm. He didn't speak or look at his padawan, but that touch said all he couldn't.

Anakin lifted his own hand and touched the hand on his arm. He grasped it, then let go. A feeling akin to that long-ago spark he'd felt moved from Obi-Wan's hand to his. Akin, but different, because it was more a warm rush that an electric shock. Anakin relished it once his hand was back at his side and Obi-Wan had taken his own hand away.

They reached the meditation room. Obi-Wan opened the door and Anakin followed him into the small, windowless space. "If you'll find a place to sit," the master said, "and find a meditation level you're comfortable with, the test will begin." He stepped back, but then stopped.

A look Anakin didn't understand crossed his face. The younger Jedi responded to it. "Obi?"

"It's a bit of my past I'll talk to you about once the Trials are through."

Wanting to wipe that distracted, pained look off Obi-Wan's face, but not knowing how, Anakin nodded and said, "I'll see you soon?"

"Yes. This test doesn't have a time limit, but I expect we'll talk soon." Obi-Wan closed the door behind him and Anakin was alone.

The padawan descended into half-meditation, wondering if he would be called to go deeper. Then all such questions were swept away as the Force rose around him and he found himself deep inside his own mind. Around him rose the boxes he and Obi-Wan hadn't worked through, but he was also conscious of a soft voice, barely audible, telling him to walk forward. He did so, and as he moved in his mind, the boxes fell away to either side and he was faced by a row of faintly-glowing doors. He saw that each was embossed with words, but he couldn't read these words. They wavered when he focused on any one, though the others at the corners of his vision seemed to be distinct.

"You will open each," said a voice Anakin didn't recognize. "And you will face what's inside."

Anakin blinked. "Who are you?" he asked.

No answer.

Giving up on reading the doors and knowing the identity of the voice for now, Anakin went to the door furthest to his right. He touched the doorknob, hesitated, then put pressure on the knob until it turned. The door opened inward, and Anakin gazed into a darkness that was faintly lit everywhere. He was put in mind of the Crystal Cave where he'd made his lightsaber. Thinking of this, he stepped inside. The door closed behind him.

He was back in the Crystal Cave, just as he'd thought, only now he was older. But his age didn't matter. He was still seeking crystals for his lightsaber. What had he done with his own weapon? He couldn't remember.

A figure approached him out of the darkness. It was Obi-Wan. "Hello, Padawan mine. Enjoying your search?"

Cautious, Anakin asked, "Why are you here, Master?" He didn't remember, just then, that he was in the Temple, but vividly he recalled being approached by visions he thought were people the last time he'd been in this Force-focusing cave.

Obi-Wan chuckled. "I can't fool you. You know it's not really me." He shook his head. "You've grown so much, Anakin. I'm proud of you." He reached into his robes and drew out three crystals. "Here. The ones you seek. Aren't they beautiful?"

Anakin took them automatically, and saw that they glowed red. His jaw dropped and he looked quickly up at Obi-Wan. "These are crystals for a Sith's lightsaber!"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I know. But this is what I was meant to give you, so I am." He stepped forward, shrugging the robe off his shoulders. Beneath it, he wore trousers that showed his muscular legs and other… attributes to good advantage. He wore no shirt. "You are more powerful than any Jedi, and though you are commanded to bring balance to the Force by killing all Jedi, I ask that you let me live and serve you." He sank to his knees before Anakin. "You won't get love from me, Anakin; my love for Qui-Gon, and for another Jedi, whom you will kill soon, are too strong. But you have my body. Let me live, Anakin. If not as your whore, than as the caretaker of your children." He sighed and shook his head. "The reign of Siths has ended as well. Your children will succeed you like princes to a throne, and their children will come after them. Not all will be strong in the Force as you are, but the Force itself will retreat from the galaxy once balance has been established." He reached up, drawing Anakin's hands down to his lips. He kissed Anakin's fingers, then his tongue licked out, playing over the hardened pads. "I can't go to Qui-Gon, and I don't want to go into the nothingness of death just yet. Let me stay here with you for a time."

The unreality of everything- the words he heard, the crystals in his palm and, above all, the demure and posturing man at his feet pierced Anakin's shock. He dropped the crystals. They disappeared before striking the floor of the cave. He wanted to take a step back, especially when Obi-Wan reached out for him again.

Then he heard a voice he knew was his own, though it sounded like it was coming from a long way off. _That's not Obi-Wan. Walk right through him._

Empowered, though he felt a slight touch of fear and confusion, Anakin moved forward.

"Anakin, please-" Obi-Wan cringed away from him. "Don't kick me, Master!"

Anakin's step faltered, but then, closing his eyes for a moment and feeling the Force around him, he squared his shoulders, opened his eyes, and walked through the vision. He winced a little, anticipating a last cry of pain, but none came. The vision was gone.

Shaking his head, Anakin muttered, "Like I'd ever take him that way." Then, after a moment, "Like he'd ever offer himself that way. To anyone. For any reason." He started down the path the vision had been blocking, still seeking the crystals for his lightsaber.

"You're doing well," said Obi-Wan from his left.

Anakin jumped in spite of his best efforts. He couldn't see Obi-Wan; that part of the cave was shrouded in darkness. "Can't you go away? I've got more important things to do."

"More important than listening to your old master for a moment?"

"You're not Obi-Wan."

"No, but right now, I'm the closest thing you'll get to him, and you need all the help you can get, Padawan mine. You're not really where you think you are, and until you realize that, all you're doing is walking in circles."

"If I'm not where I think I am, then where am I?" Anakin didn't take a step towards the dark corner. He had no wish to see what form of his master would present itself.

"Only when you figure that out will you be where you're supposed to be."

"Well, you've got his confusing sayings down. Though he dropped most of those before I was fourteen."

"I didn't drop them. You only started to understand them." A soft chuckle. "Though perhaps I used them less often than Qui-Gon. That can't be helped; he and I teach differently."

"If you don't have anything relevant to tell me, I'll go now."

There was a stirring within the shadows, heard and felt as much as seen.

Anakin looked away, not wanting to see. "I'm going now."

"Not just yet, Padawan mine. I have a question for you. Where's your lightsaber hilt?"

Anakin drew this from his belt. "Right here." He blinked. It was the same 'saber hilt he'd had on his first journey through this cave. What had happened to the crystals that he needed to find more?

"Look at it, please. You've told me of the two suns of Tatooine surrounded by the Temple. Now tell me about the three intertwining lines."

Anakin said, "There are only two." But then, glancing down, he saw that there were indeed three. The third had been carved, if such a sophisticated word could be used, by his misadventures in the factory on Geonosis. He'd kept the pieces with him, stuffed into his belt, and though he hadn't been given crystals for his repaired weapon (a garden of these was grown at Temple for those lightsaber destroyed in battle) until he'd returned from Geonosis, he hadn't even bothered to think about this newest line. He'd just been glad to have his own weapon back. He'd grown accustomed to his lightsaber's unique vibrations, and using another hadn't been at all satisfying. Now, frowning at the scratch, he said, "That's not a third line. It's just from a battle I had."

"It's a third line. It's the Force running between and around you and the one you love. See where the lines are broken?"

"That came from the battle, too. I didn't make them break."

"Perhaps, but they're still important. They are the breaks in our own lives, the times we forget the Force or our place in it." A hand, wrinkled and darkened by long hours under a strong sun, traced the central line. "This one, the line of the Force, never breaks. Only our devotion to it falters."

Anakin drew back, staring at the hand. He swallowed his questions, reminding himself that this was only a vision. Then, as the words slipped past his shock, he said, "You said 'our' lives. But you also said the third line is the Force running between my life and the one I love. But if you were really Obi-Wan, you wouldn't know I love you."

"I never claimed to be Obi-Wan. I'm only here to talk to you about the pretty lines on your lightsaber hilt." Again, that dry chuckle. "Anakin, you can't hide love forever, and if you're planning to do just that, I'd give you this to think about: hiding is not part of who we are as Jedi. If you truly love Obi-Wan, you need to tell him, no matter the consequences, no matter your own fear or doubts or needs. You need to tell him. Hiding from him is a deception not worthy of the Jedi Knight you are about to become."

Then the wrinkled hand was withdrawn, and the voice didn't come out of the darkness again.

Anakin stood with his head bowed for several moments. But then he whispered, "I can't tell him. I can't show my weakness. The minute I do that, the galaxy will destroy him." Strengthened by his own voice, he made to slip his lightsaber hilt into its place at his belt But his hands froze and his mouth went dry as desert sand. About halfway down, the two oft-broken lines (the right one being broken several more times than the left) joined into one line. They continued together, unbroken, untwisting, for eight or nine centimeters, then moved apart, though only by half a dozen millimeters, and continued down in perfect parallelism. The one of the left broke once, near the split, but then thickened and did not break again.

Anakin traced the lines with his fingers, but then he shook his head. "They're just lines," he muttered. "They're not a prophetic symbol of things to come. And even if they are, maybe that part where they're joined together for awhile was where he and I were together for five years." He didn't believe that, but staring at the lines was making him uneasy, and he still had crystals to find.

_I don't need the crystals. I have no reason to be here. I'm _not_ here, not really. _He shook off that mental voice as confusing and kept going.

oOo

How could he sleep? Such a thing should have been impossible. But in the middle of his meditating, that's just what happened. Obi-Wan's mind slipped from that place deep in the Force to another place deep within his own slumbering mind. He dreamed. But before he could get fairly in, he had time for this one thought: _I never used to dream in such a coherent, confusing, almost-like-waking way. Is this, too, a change brought on by Dagobah? _Then he let the question go and drifted fully into the dream, forgetting for a little time that he was asleep.

"Let me be the love you lost," Anakin murmured. He was sitting behind Obi-Wan brushing the lengthening red hair.

Around them, their shared quarters glowed golden orange with the rising light of the rising sun. Outside the open balcony doors, no speedersmoved past just yet. It was very early, and not much traffic came around the Temple in the first daylight hours. It had always been so, as if the inhabitants, usually so accustomed to the Jedi in their midst, took special care not to disturb the peacemakers in those hours when they would just be waking and seeking the Force for help through a new day.

The knight's brush strokes were rhythmic, like the slow breathing that accompanied meditation. He leaned into them a little now and then, turning the simple task into a massage, and a message. "Stop running from love. You lost him, but you can have me."

Obi-Wan didn't move, but his tone was unyielding. "No. I don't want to lose another."

Anakin set the brush aside and rested his chin on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "You are strong enough to maybe lose me. Do you want to miss this chance at happiness?"

"I am happy in the Force." Still, Obi-Wan didn't move. A deep sense of unreality, and yet of the arrival of something long anticipated, ran through him. He wasn't sure he could have moved.

"Your sun is going down. Let it come back up."

"Sunrise," Obi-Wan murmured.

"What?"

"Gareth said something about sunrise, and a comforter."

Anakin nodded. "I guess the Force spoke to him, too. It's been trying to get me to tell you how I feel for months." He laid a gentle kiss on juncture of Obi-Wan's neck and shoulder. "Let me love you, Obi. You know I can, and that you want me to."

Obi-Wan struggled for a moment. He wanted to think this was wrong; it was too simple and fulfilling to be right. He grasped at the first excuse that came to his mind, never mind that it was a lie. "But I've thought of you as my son."

Anakin sighed and kissed Obi-Wan again. "No. That's only what you told yourself. I was never your son. For a day, I was the pathetic life form Qui-Gon picked up on Tatooine, then I was your pretend padawan, then your real padawan, then your partner, and now I'm a Knight. I was never really your son. Isn't that true?"

Yes, damn it, that was all true, but nothing was supposed to be this easy. Where was the initial confusion and wandering about in the dark that he and Qui-Gon had gone through? He searched for something else to stall Anakin. "Yes, but, am I ready to love again? I can't imagine losing you, and I know now that the Force won't keep you alive because I ask. What if you're taken from me?"

"Since when is death a consideration for you, Obi?" Anakin rose and moved around the chair until he could kneel before Obi-Wan. Looking up through delicate and beautiful lashes, he said, "Stop stalling and tell me: do you love me?"

He gave up; what else could he do? He'd been Anakin's for years now, even though he'd only just started fighting the direction their relationship seemed to be taking. "Yes, all right, I yield." A breath, then, "I love you."

Anakin's eyes danced, "It's not like you to give in. I think you've secretly wanted this for a long time." He drew Obi-Wan to his feet.

Obi-Wan's arms slipped naturally around Anakin's wais and he let go of his last reservation. "Maybe," he said, teasing with his eyes, "but I'd never give you the satisfaction of knowing for sure."

He snapped awake and discovered that he'd slept sitting up, still tucked into the meditative posture. He blinked, then shook his head. _Force, what was that?_

There was a moment of silence within him, then: _Move on._

Obi-Wan groaned. _No. That can't be what was meant. It _can't_. With my padawan? _And then, because that wasn't the real problem, or even close to it, _With the Chosen One? Doesn't he have enough to worry about just now?_

Silence.

Bant and Reeft had come to meditate with him. He saw that they were watching him, perhaps drawn out of their own meditation by his distress. He measured them both and decided he needed to speak. But though he was close to both of them, he was tempted to only speak to one, and so he said, "Forgive me, Bant, but I…." He faltered. This should be something he could discuss with both of his dear friends.

She rose to her feet like an opening flower. "I'll leave you two alone. I should go check on Nela, anyway. Knowing that Anakin is going through the Trials has made her jumpy." Without another word, she glided from the room.

Obi-Wan stood once the door was closed and strode to the window. He'd been instructed to stay in a meditation room until Anakin's final Trial was completed. Here Bant and Reeft had opted to join him. He'd wondered whether Qui-Gon had sat in this very room, waiting for his own padawan to become a Jedi, and if Qui-Gon had had company, but now those questions had been blown way by his dream. Crossing his arms before him, he said, "I had a dream about Anakin, and I wanted to discuss it with you." He sighed. "I don't know why I don't want Bant to hear. The Force alone can answer that." He turned to face Reeft, who had risen and moved towards him. "I dreamed Anakin asked if I loved him, and that I, after a short debate and a few attempts to put off the question, admitted that I did. A strange dream, and one without a basis in reality. Except…" He couldn't go on.

"You could tell him about the dream. See how he responds." If Reeft was surprised, he didn't show it.

"I can't. He's the Chosen One. He doesn't need that sort of complication in his life. Besides, what if I'm just following in Qui-Gon's footsteps?" That was, he realized, entirely possible. Maybe he'd just been raised, as it were, with the idea that a master-padawan bond was stronger than others believed. Could he be imagining all his feelings? _It isn't as if I haven't already discussed this with Anakin. He isn't interested in me. I'm not really interested in him. This is just-_

Reeft interrupted his thoughts. "I think you've become too much of your own person to do that."

Obi-Wan decided not to argue that point; he was seeking Reeft's advice, not agreement. "Maybe, but I still can't do this to Anakin." He hit upon another excuse. "And I'm not ready to love again. Besides, Qui-Gon has been dead for less than a year; how can I even be thinking of loving again so soon?" The lie rolled so effortlessly off his tongue that when he realized what he'd said, he felt almost dizzy with shock. If this was part of the secret the Force had trusted him with- and he knew it to be so- he felt very uncomfortable. Connecting any sort of lie with the Force made him feel dirty.

But as upset as he was by the lie, a wave of sorrow swept through him. _I'm thinking of our relationship as dead, even though Qui-Gon isn't. And even if that's the result of a true vision, how unfaithful am I being to Qui-Gon by not even taking time to grieve the loss?_

_Move on, _was the answer he received.

_Oh, shut up, _Obi-Wan snapped, and when he did so, he realized the words weren't coming from Qui-Gon, as he'd once thought, or from the Force, as he'd come to believe, but from inside his own head. Keeping his outer expression neutral, he grimaced at the thought. _And go away. I don't have time for you now._

Something vast trembled on the edge of his consciousness, but he pushed it back, to be dealt with later. If Anakin was still in Trials when this talk with Reeft was done, Obi-Wan would confront that behemoth then.

"Soon is relative. If you're ready to love, you will. If you're not, you won't." He took a step closer to Obi-Wan, and his voice gentled. "Forget what I just said. You don't have to tell Anakin right away."

Obi-Wan shook his head and, safely hidden in the long sleeves of his robe, his hands clenched. "I shouldn't keep this from him. Force knows how many problems have been caused by one or the other of us hiding things. Our relationship is based on complete trust and openness."

"Relationship, not friendship?"

The other master blinked. "What's the difference?"

"The term 'relationship' can cover a lot of ground."

Reminded of times in the Senate, Obi-Wan said, "Don't play word-games with me, please."

Reeft raised an eyebrow. "I'm just repeating what you yourself said so you can hear yourself. Many times, our subconscious knows what's going on long before we do. I think you should wait this out. See what develops. Time may decide for you."

"No. I need to face Anakin. As embarrassing as this all is, we're both too old to be playing like children at love."

"You might be too old. He's not eighteen yet." Reeft smiled a little. "Has it occurred to you that if he succeeds today, he'll be the youngest Knight in over two hundred years?"

"No. I hadn't thought about that." Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment, then he said, "I, at least, am too old for these games. I need to tell Anakin and get it over with."

"Not before you know your own mind."

"You're assuming this is the first dream I've had about Anakin and I. It's the tenth. The first was on Dagobah, about a month before Qui-Gon…" He cleared his throat. "Suffering under _that _was like pouring muja juice on an open wound. The only reason I'm bringing it to you now is because, up until now, I've been able to dismiss each dream as just a result of how much I miss Qui-Gon." He felt an intense urge to pace and repressed it. He knew the knuckles of his tightly-gripping hands must have turned snow-white by now. He tried to ease their tension. For the moment, he failed. "But I've never woken with all the images and words so clear in my mind. Granted, I've never fallen asleep while meditating, either. This is a day of firsts for my padawan and me." He felt his heart racing and breathed in and out, forcing his hands to loosen their death-grip on his arms. Some of the tension in his mind went when he did this, and he realized that he'd made a decision, or at least part of one. "If I'm not following Qui-Gon's example, then I'm in love. I'll meditate on it, try to make sure I love him, then I'll talk to him. But if it comes up between us, in any way, I'll tell him at once."

Reeft shook himself, a gesture that surprised Obi-Wan because of its intensity. "Good for you," his friend said. "Silly games of hiding what we feel should have stopped long ago."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "Then why did you suggest I hide my feelings?"

Reeft colored slightly. "Maybe because I've been debating whether or not to hide my own feelings, and I couldn't separate my concerns for you completely from my worries about my own future. Very un-master-like. I know."

_Ah, _Obi-Wan thought, _so it's finally come. _"From Bant?"

Reeft laughed, throwing his head back. "It's that obvious?"

"Just to me. And to Garen and Siri. They knew, too." He felt more comfortable on this footing. _Hypocrite, _he called himself, but without true anger or even a touch of frustration.

Reeft shook his head. "Then does she? And how does she feel?"

"There you'd have to ask her. But if I were you, I'd wait until after next week."

"Why?"

"Because Nela's Trials are in ten days. Talk about bad timing."

"Ah." Reeft grinned and closed the distance between them, laying his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Thank you, Obi-Wan." His grin widened. "For not being angry with me that I'm distracted." He stepped back. "I wish you luck with telling him. Because I know you're in love."

"If I had your confidence, and you mine, we'd both have confessed our feelings- or have at least figured out our feelings- long before this." Obi-Wan gestured back to the open floor. "Will you meditate with me, or is this new revelation leading you to go walking?" For he could see the need in Reeft's eyes.

"You know me too well. Do you mind if I abandon you?"

"Only if you don't think of it as abandonment. I have my own thinking to do, remember?"

When Reeft was gone, Obi-Wan sank back down on the floor, determined to seek out that vast unknown that had made itself felt a few minutes before.

oOo

_Where am I?_

_Only when you figure that out will you be where you're supposed to be._

Anakin grumbled to himself. He'd been wandering for what seemed like hours. His hard-learned patience was starting to wear thin. He'd meant what he'd said about Obi-Wan not using that sort of trick psychology on him much, but now he was completely frustrated because, given by a vision or not, he sensed that the words were true. He'd tried to work them through, but only ended up with this bit of dubious reasoning: _If I'm in the Crystal Cave (and where else could I be?) then I'm supposed to be here._

Not even remotely helpful.

He turned yet another corner, and found himself face-to-face with another vision. He groaned, but readied himself. At least he recognized this one on sight. He'd met the black-robed Sith not just during his first journey to the Crystal Cave, but many times since then in his dreams. Many of his boxes had been filled with the vision of this creature killing Obi-Wan.

_And that should tell you something, _a far-off part of his mind whispered.

Anakin resisted the urge to draw his unfinished lightsaber as the Sith turned, its own weapon already ignited.

"Your master, my master," it said.

'Not this again. Look, get some better material or get out of my way. I have a lightsaber to fashion."

_You already have a finished weapon, _that same corner of his mind said.

"Padawan mine, don't you understand who I am yet?'

Anakin scowled. "If you're trying to make me think you're Obi-Wan, it won't work. He would never turn to the Dark Side."

"He might. If someone he loved led the way."

Anakin laughed. "You don't know him at all." His hand had dipped to his belt and come up with his ignited lightsaber before he could even think. Blinking, he stared at the glowing blade. "But I haven't…"

His eyes widened. "Oh." A wave of self-recrimination, accompanied by undercurrents of shame and stupidity, threatened to drown him. This, at least, he knew how to deal with. He breathed it out. "I'm not here. I have no need to be here. Last I knew, I was in the Temple undergoing my-" He turned, and, right behind him, he saw the door (only a door in his mind, he reminded himself) that he'd had to come through to get into this vision in the first place. Glancing back at the Sith, he said, "You're not real. This was a just a test to remind myself of the power of the mind to create distractions. Only the Force is the true path, and those things we create in our own minds can be helpers or distractions on that path."

The Sith said, "You can't know who I am. All my hints don't do any good. You're too stupid. How un-Jedi-like."

That last phrase sent chills through Anakin. As far as he knew, even though the sentiment was shared by every Jedi, only Obi-Wan put the words together in that way. And even though he used the phrase occasionally within the hearing of others, no one had yet to pick it up. _Well, except me, but that's because I'm his padawan and how can I help it? We've been together for so long that I've probably picked up a lot of his sayings and movements without realizing it._

Then he forced himself to remember that he was in a vision of, basically, his own design. He turned to the door, touched the knob, and was through. Again, he stood before the doors.

Instead of heading straight to the next one, he sank down in a meditative posture before them and concentrated on his breathing. He let go of considerations regarding how long he'd probably wasted in that first vision. He also let go of the questions the visions of Obi-Wan and the horror of the imaginary Sith had raised. He would bring them to Obi-Wan when this was all over.

_All of them? _asked that little voice. _Even the ones about your weakness?_

_No, I- _Then he stopped. His need to hide his weakness from Obi-Wan still drove him, but he was forced to acknowledge that what he saw as impossible could happen in the Force. _All of them, if that's what I have to do to serve the Force._

With this admission, an enormous weight rolled off his shoulders. He stood. There was only one more door. He could have sworn he'd been facing at least three or four. Where had the others gone?

_Doesn't matter, _he decided. _Whatever I'm facing, it won't become less or more if I just keep looking at it._

He opened the second door, mentally preparing himself for whatever might be waiting.

He blinked when he saw a Jedi sitting on the edge of a high cliff, his legs dangling in empty space. Anakin approached slowly, ordering himself not to forget that he was really just inside his own mind. Then the door closed behind him, and he did forget, for an instant.

Then the Jedi's head turned towards him, and Anakin was shocked to see that while the Jedi had hair and ears, and looked normal from the neck down, he had only indentions of puckered skin where his eyes, nose and mouth should have been.

_This isn't real, _the padawan thought in shock. He almost laughed at himself when he remembered that none of it _was _real, that he was still in the Temple. Stepping closer, he crouched a couple meters away. "My name's Anakin. Who are you?" _Wait. How will it be able to talk if it doesn't have a mouth?_

But the vision could speak, and clearly. His voice reminded Anakin of none of those he knew. "No one understands how much I know. I could change the universe- or at least the Jedi Order- if they'd only listen to me." He stood. "You'll know what I mean, Chosen One, even if you never really become all that you're meant to be. You, too, are powerful beyond measure, and yet you're still a padawan."

"I won't be a padawan much longer," Anakin said.

"True, but it will take you many long years to become a member of the Council, or even a master."

"Obi became a master the day he became a knight."

"And you think that's normal?" The faceless Jedi shook his head violently. "What a child you are!"

"Well, maybe I don't want to be a master right away. I want to enjoy being on my own, maybe."

"No you don't. You want to be with Obi-Wan, equal to Obi-Wan. And you can't be either of those things until you're a master yourself. And by the time you're a master, he'll be on the Council. You'll always be playing catch-up." He laughed bitterly. "Can't you fell the frustration I'm talking about? No matter what you do, he'll always be better, if not in abilities, than in the eyes of the rest of the Order."

Like a child removing the cornerstone in a tower of blocks, these words brought down a barrage of memories. Anakin remembered blurting out, on more than one occasion, how everything was Obi-Wan's fault, and how, in many ways, he'd already surpassed Obi-Wan. He remembered complaining that Obi-Wan was holding him back. Where had all those feelings gone?

"They were swallowed up in your love for him," the faceless figure answered, "but they never went away, and they are still all true."

"He's not holding me back. I'm about to become a knight."

"You could have been a knight last year if he hadn't gone away and forgotten you."

"He didn't forget me!" Anakin's cheek flushed and his heartbeat had doubled. There was no thought yet of calming himself. "He needed to heal!"

"A true Jedi doesn't need to heal; the Force tends them even as the wounds are made." The apparition turned back to the empty air. "Have you ever thought about ending all that frustrates you?"

Anakin took a step closer. "By killing myself? Never."

"I never said you had to kill yourself."

"But isn't that the symbolism of the cliff you're sitting on?"

"Obi-Wan's taught you too much about symbolism and not enough about yourself. He makes you think you're weak and that you're lucky to have him as a master. Don't you know how much power lives in your very blood? What would be wrong with using that power to move yourself forward, to make yourself equal with him? The real reason Qui-Gon left and was gone for so long isn't because the Council sent him away for a time, or even because the Force called him. The real reason he left was because he couldn't see Obi-Wan as an equal, no matter how much he tried. He liked the idea of raising a padawan in his own image and under his shadow, but when Obi-Wan started to get his own ideas, Qui-Gon felt uneasy. He realized he couldn't have a devotee any longer, and that what he'd wanted, in his heart, was not a tag-along who might, in a decade or more, at last become close to equaling him, but a pet, someone he could endlessly teach and raise and guide in his own ways." A soft chuckle. "I can sense the anger within you, Anakin. Why don't you just let it go? Do that, and you'll gain all the power and replace all the time you've lost following stupid, groundless rules. You can never have Obi-Wan as an equal partner. You can surpass him, make him subject to your power, but you can never be equals. In his heart, he will always see you as a padawan, and unless you accomplish more than he ever could, you'll always see him as wiser, better than you."

"I don't want to hear this." Anakin turned, thinking to find the door and get out, but the door wasn't there.

"You have to face me," the Jedi-vision told him.

_Not really a Jedi, _Anakin thought, turning back. _A Jedi would never act like this. _Strengthened by that knowledge, he said, "I don't need to listen to any of what you say. I know the truth. Obi-Wan and I are equals. We've been that way for years."

"Who tells you so? Obi-Wan? Ask him sometime who he would rather have in a battle: you or Yoda. He'll choose Yoda because Yoda is greater than you are."

"Of course he's a better fighter- for now. But I'll learn."

"You don't need to learn. You already know everything you need. If you would just trust that, no one could hold you back."

He was reminded of something the Force had sent him: the assertion that his little bit of trust was enough to save Obi-Wan. Could the same be said for his power and strength? What he considered to be only a little of each might be enough to accomplish anything and everything he'd ever dreamed.

_And what have you dreamed? _asked that small voice in his mind, only now it sounded like Obi-Wan's gentle murmur.

_To be with Obi-Wan._

_And that's all?_

Of course not. He'd dreamed of defeating a hundred starfighters while he flew a solo mission.

"You could do that," said the faceless Jedi. "You're already an accomplished pilot and your weapons knowledge is matched by very few."

He'd dreamed of being on the Council. Even of being in Yoda's position, leading all the Jedi in the way he thought it was best to go.

_The way _you_ think is best?_ asked that frustratingly Obi-like voice.

"You could do that," the vision said. "You already know what's best for most of the Republic; it's instinctive with you. You know all the steps you need to take to make the galaxy a better place for those you care about, as well as for yourself, and even for the billions of sentients you have yet to meet. I don't need to tell you of all the changes you want to make; you can think of all those yourself. Starting with getting Obi-Wan out of the Senate, and progressing from there."

He dreamed of coming home after a long day of working with the Council and the Republic, and finding Obi-Wan waiting for him. Obi-Wan, who had meditated all day, or painted or sculpted, or told stories to younglings or who had simply slept the day away as he waited for his lover to come home.

_I thought you didn't want to see me as a whore. That vision horrified you only a few minutes ago. What's changed?_

Anakin blinked. _I never want you to be a slave, and definitely not a whore. I just want you waiting for me and-_

_You want me to put the will of the Force on hold._

_Only so you can do all the things you've always wanted to do, but didn't have the time for._ Anakin's hands were shaking. He realized he wasn't really talking to Obi-Wan, but the voice in his head sounded so real that it was as if he could see his master's disapproving scowl.

_Anakin, listen to yourself. You want to be in charge of the Council, of the Senate, or the Republic. Isn't that the only way you think you'll get your way? Tell me something: who do you think you sound like? Do you sound like a Jedi?_

_I could be a Jedi with a vision of galactic peace. If you had this vision, the Council wouldn't have any problem with it._

'_Galactic peace' isn't the will of the Force._

_Well, maybe it should be! _His breathing was coming faster. _Look, I know you're not really Obi-Wan, but just listen to me for a moment as if you were._

_No, Anakin, you listen. You demand all these things to work out 'for the best', as you see that phrase. Stop being self-centered and look at all the beings and worlds around you who need help. And you think you can help them by controlling their lives? Not even the Council, which guides us, controls us. Some are more sensitive to the Council's suggestions than others, but not even in matters of great importance does the Council command anything. _

_They would have jailed Qui-Gon if they'd learned about your love affair at the wrong time. Isn't that commanding?_

_Or Qui-Gon could have left the Order, or he could have argued his case. That example doesn't work, Anakin, because it never happened. Think of a time the Council commanded anything._

Anakin fished for one, discounted it, found another, gave up on that one as well. He shook his head just as violently as the faceless Jedi had at the beginning of this particular Trial. _That's not important. What's important is that I'm stronger than anyone realizes, and that they're all holding me back. From Obi-Wan to Yoda, none of them want me to become truly powerful because then their positions would be threatened!_

_What does position matter to a Jedi? Following the Force alone matters. _The voice that could have been Obi-Wan's fell silent, then asked, _What is your truest desire, Anakin? Tell me that, if you can._

_I want- I want- _A score of answers came to him, but each wasn't everything he wanted, being instead a manifestation of one part of his desire.

Around him, a soft song began to grow. At first, he thought it was the song Obi-Wan had sung before the pyre, but gradually he realized that though it was Obi-Wan's voice, he was chanting instead of singing, chanting the syllables Anakin had heard the night before.

_Right before he left me alone to go be with Reeft. I know that's where he was; he basically admitted as much. What were they doing? Were they talking? Touching? Kissing?_ His jealousy rose like a red tide, and he had no one near to calm him, and no desire to truly be calmed.

But the chanting persisted, and as it did, he could at last understand the words he hadn't known that morning. Though he still didn't know the language, and though the words sound strange to his ears, his heart spoke the right language and told him, _Work for peace. The Jedi Way. Work for life. Never resting. Work for love. Never ceasing. Love for all. No love I seek. Love for all. Some given free. To me._

Anakin's jealousy was dwarfed by the power of these words, because even though it was Obi-Wan's voice that spoke them, Anakin knew that it was his own voice, too, that these words, chanted before his Trials and meant to strengthen him, were already inside him. They were often blocked, but they lived inside him like his own heart.

His jealousy didn't go, but he saw through its thinning veil to the core of what he really wanted. Beyond power, beyond safety for his loved ones or strength for himself, he longed to be a servant of the Force, in whatever capacity the Force saw fit. And the moment this realization crossed his mind, he knew he was ready to leave back through the door. Even if he wasn't perfect, his one, true, uncomplicated longing was the same for him as it was for Obi-Wan, for Yoda, for all Jedi. He wanted to follow the Force.

Turning, he looked for the faceless Jedi, but he was alone. Shaking his head, wondering in the back of his mind if he would be able to remember this one true desire when all this was over, Anakin moved to the door, opened it and stepped back out into the dimness before the doors. He pivoted to face them, curious to see if there would be another now that he'd cleared the first two. There wasn't.

_Does that mean I'm done? Are my Trials over? _He felt a wave of disappointment and a nervous tightening in his stomach. _It was hard, and I made a lot of mistakes, but is it really over so soon? And if it is, how do I know if I passed? _He'd figured he would know if he passed or not when the Trials were over. What sort of anticlimactic, confusing business was this?

Then he felt a disturbance in the Force, so like a nearby explosion that his hands went to his ears and he squeezed his eyes shut instinctively.

But as the feeling intensified, he opened his eyes. Finding himself back in the meditation room, he scrambled to his feet and left the room. Jogging down the corridor, he followed the disturbance. It wasn't like anything he'd felt before because even though he could feel its power, and he instinctively regarded it as dangerous, he couldn't sense any Dark or Light Force in it. Shaken by this but unwilling to stop and try to figure the answer out, he kept going.

Then the disturbance cleared somewhat and he saw, a vision from the Force, Obi-Wan. He guarded three huddled younglings. His hands were out, as though he was trying to reason with the figure that stood not far away. Anakin stared at the towering, black-robed Sith, and his stomach knotted. Didn't Obi-Wan see the red-bladed lightsaber? Why didn't he take his weapon out? No Sith could be reasoned with!

Then, his mental tone incredulous, _There can't be a Sith in the Temple!_ _Master Yoda would have sensed it. And how did it get all the way to his quarters? _He saw the bookshelf behind Obi-Wan, where the younglings huddled. Then he spotted the open balcony doors and realized the Sith must have come in that way. _But how did it corner them? _He watched Obi-Wan's lightsaber spring to life, and all questions flew from his mind. The why and the wherefore could be dealt with later. All that mattered now was that Obi-Wan needed him.


	38. Trials 2

Trials (2)

Later, he would wonder why the hallways of the Temple had been so empty. And when he eventually asked this question, he was embarrassed by the answer. But as he raced towards their shared quarters, all he could think about was Obi-Wan. He would save his master and everything would be all right. Of that he was sure. He would make it all right, if necessary. He sent prayers up to the Force that were really orders: _Keep Obi safe. Don't let the Sith hurt him. _He didn't waste much time on these, only ran as hard as he could and listened continually to the disturbance in the Force. The vision he'd been granted was gone, but he thought he could still feel Obi-Wan's life force out of all the others in the Temple. He convinced himself this wasn't wishful thinking.

Reaching the door, he was afraid it might be locked, but it opened before him and he rushed in, his ignited lightsaber in his hand. Three steps in, he froze. The doors closed behind him, their soft whoosh easily heard in the silence only broken by the hum of two lightsabers. The air stank of singed cloth and possibly burned flesh.

The younglings were still huddled against the shelves, but now one of them held Obi-Wan's deactivated lightsaber to his chest. As for Obi-Wan, he lay in the middle of the room, with the Sith standing over him. The Sith's blade hummed a hand-span above Obi-Wan's chest.

The Sith was looking at him. Even if Anakin couldn't see the thing's eyes, he knew this. He resisted the urge to shiver and clung to the hope that someone would sense them soon and come to help.

"Are you here for your master, Padawan?" the Sith asked. The blade it carried dipped a little nearer Obi-Wan's chest.

"Let him go," Anakin said, surprised at how calm his voice sounded. He tried to hold the composure in place. "There will be other masters here soon. You should escape while you still can."

"Put your weapon away and I will tell you how you can save your master."

"How do you know he's my master?"

"The Force has been seeking his death for a long time now. It's you he's guarding. You're not meant to die, but to join us."

"I belong to the Jedi first and forever." But even as he spoke, Anakin was disturbed by the man's words. Something he said was off, not something a Sith would say. Anakin put his lightsaber away. "If you want him dead, why would you let him go?"

"His time may not be now. You will determine that." The Sith gestured, moving his lightsaber closer to Obi-Wan's face. "You must choose, Padawan, to save your master or these younglings."

Anakin measured the distance. Obviously, Obi-Wan was in much more danger than the three padawans. Anakin started to move between the Sith and the young ones.

The Sith knelt, and now the lightsaber was so close to Obi-Wan's throat that Anakin could see the bloody glow on his master's skin. "Move back to where you were, Padawan, or this will be decided now."

Anakin obeyed.

"Choose," the Sith said. "Your master, or the younglings."

Anakin's eyes narrowed. "I choose my master." Because, after all, he knew he could draw his lightsaber and move between the Sith and those by the shelves

"Very well." The Sith moved his hand and one of the younglings was lifted off the floor and floated towards the balcony doors. These opened before her.

Anakin's hands shook. He wanted to draw his lightsaber, but knew it would accomplish nothing. "Stop!"

The Sith said, "You don't approve? I thought you chose."

The child was suspended in midair near the doors; her eyes showed no fear.

"Or did you assume I didn't have control of the Force?" The Sith's hidden smile was evident in its voice. "Choose, Padawan."

"When you took my weapon," Obi-Wan said, his voice calm, "you promised me three words with my padawan. Now that he knows your power, he will choose to save three lives. Please let me have my three words."

The Sith chuckled. "What words can you say, Jedi, that will keep your padawan from descending into rage when you die?"

"Will you keep your word and allow me to speak them?"

"Do you expect me to keep my word?"

Obi-Wan was silent.

During this short exchange, Anakin had been half-listening, but his mind was also on the distance between the hovering youngling and the balcony, between himself and the Sith, and between the Sith's blade and Obi-Wan's neck. None of the distances were what he wanted. Speed and strength weren't going to save this situation. And everyone knew you couldn't negotiate with a Sith.

Yet, wasn't that what the Sith was doing, giving Anakin a chance to save someone? _No. The Sith don't show mercy or give chances unless it is for the good of the Dark Side. _Realizing that, Anakin thought, _This is a test. For me. But why? What does the Sith know of me?_

The Sith's words came back to him: _It's you he's guarding… His time may not be now. You will determine that._ And Yoda's words, speaking of the Dark Force not knowing who Obi-Wan was protecting. If that was so, how had the Sith come by this information? And since when did the Sith wait for the 'time of the Force'? Wasn't part of being a Sith believing that you could creat your own time?

"Jedi, do you wish to die, knowing that you were only a whore to the Force?"

Anakin heard the words, and part of his mind wanted to jump on that, forget these confusing questions. But one look at the serenity in Obi-Wan's eyes drew all rage from him like poison from a wound. If Obi-Wan could be reserved when his very life hung in the balance, couldn't Anakin show a little restraint and follow the course of his thoughts? He sensed they were more than important. Reaching out to the Force, he felt the nothingness that surrounded the Sith; he could feel everything around the Sith, and there was no hole where the Sith stood, as there had been with Adee. It was like looking through a clear plane of glass.

Now Obi-Wan's words were running through Anakin's mind: _A Jedi was filled with Light, but anyone who directed Force at her felt that she wasn't there… If Dark Force users can do it, too, that would be very bad. _Was there proof that Dark Force users could manage the same trick as a Jedi? No concrete evidence, so no help there. But Anakin found that he didn't need concrete evidence. His heart told him the trick wasn't a Dark-Force-given one. He wanted to question the validity of the feeling, but the time for such things was gone.

Blinking, Anakin realized that the Sith was speaking again, and its words were important to him.

It said: "Speak your three words."

Obi-Wan's eyes flicked down as if he couldn't, for a moment, bear to look at Anakin. Then he met his padawan's gaze. "Trust the Force."

"That's all?" The Sith was laughing. "What a ridiculous, pathetic attempt at-"

Obi-Wan's eyes had flicked down again, and Anakin followed their movements this time. Only then did he see the meditation crystal floating off the shelf, towards the Sith. Anakin wondered for an instant if Obi-Wan meant to hit the Sith from behind, but then- _Trust the Force-_ he realized that Obi-Wan was going to use the crystal to absorb the Dark Force that still held the youngling suspended. IF it didn't work, probably everyone here would die.

The Sith turned its gaze on Anakin, who had taken a step to the left, wanting to draw the thing's attention far away from the crystal. "I thought I told you to stay still, Boy."

"I've reconsidered my decision," Anakin told it, not letting his eyes stray to the crystal. He would just have to trust the Force- and Obi-Wan- that the crystal would be in place when he needed it to be so. "Will you let me do that?"

The Sith grunted. "You're allowed. After all, I suppose you couldn't live with yourself if all three of those younglings died." He raised the lightsaber.

A humming like a lightsaber crystal not tuned right filled the room, and the youngling fell out of the air, bumping, unhurt, onto the carpet. She scrambled up, running to the other younglings.

The Sith twisted around, staring at the vibrating crystal that had absorbed its power. The crystal's hum had changed to a groaning like the sound made by a heavy icicle tearing free from a roof on a warm winter morning.

_Anakin. _Not really heard, since the thought was silent and their bond didn't exist, but a call through the Force so strong it didn't need a bond to carry it. And with the voice came the vision of Anakin tossing Obi-Wan his lightsaber.

Anakin glanced at the younglings, and saw that the one with Obi-Wan's weapon had edged closer to him. Anakin held out his hand and called the weapon to him.

The Sith whirled. "You think I don't-" It froze, then turned to the crystal again. "Force, what is this?"

Anakin passed the lightsaber to Obi-Wan, who was on his feet once more and motioning the younglings towards the door. _Stand ready,_ Obi-Wan sent without sending, and Anakin ignited his own weapon. But his eyes, and most of his senses, were focused on the crystal. It was screeching like a dying bird, and Anakin felt the Force around him disturbed like a calm lake thrown into confusion by a meteor falling into its depths.

And still he couldn't sense anything but Light Force around him, and the robed figure in the center of the room still seemed, in terms of the Force, not to be there at all.

_Is it a Sith?_ he sent, but he came up against the wall of Obi-Wan's shields. Retreating into his own mind, he fortified his own defenses. The fact that Obi-Wan was so close should be answer enough. Except it wasn't. _Trust the Force, _Obi-Wan had told him, and he was; in sang around him, telling him that nothing was wrong here, that nothing was, in the end, wrong. The younglings were never in danger. Obi-Wan was never close to being killed. And the stench of singed cloth (no burned flesh; that had been a creation of Anakin's frightened mind) was there, but was an accident. Obi-Wan's robes weren't meant to be anything but pristine.

No one was attacking. The 'Sith' was staring at the crystal, and this would have been the time to jump him, but Obi-Wan held his lightsaber ready without showing any sign of using it.

The crystal itself was howling, still scaling up. Anakin focused on it, and realized that it was going to go critical soon. It would explode, throwing sharp, tiny spears at them. Something had to be done before the crystal exploded. He took a step forward, and Obi-Wan didn't stop him. Anakin moved into the circle of the 'Sith's' influence, and felt the power that was being channeled into the crystal. Was the black-robed thing trying to make the crystal explode? What would that do? Unable to understand, but thinking that anything the aggressor wanted must be bad, Anakin measured his own connection to the Force, found it strong, and reached out, blocking the Force the Sith was directing at the crystal.

He staggered a step back as the strength of the Force hit him, but then held firm.

The Sith raised a hand, dragging Obi-Wan from behind him. He lifted Obi-Wan off the floor and closed the master's throat with an invisible hand.

Anakin couldn't block the crystal and save Obi-Wan. And there was no one else to help him, except- "Treat the Sith like a Force-toy!" he shouted to the younglings, and almost at once, the hold on Obi-Wan faltered and broke. Then Obi-Wan, too, was focusing his energy on the Sith, just as the younglings were, though they didn't know exactly what they were doing, besides obeying a Jedi and doing what came naturally to them.

The padawan took the crystal out of the powerful current. At once, it fell silent. He slipped it, more than slightly warm, into his pocket, then turned to face the enemy.

The black hood had fallen back and Anakin found himself staring at Ryn-yn Yil. His shock was so complete that at first he didn't realize that the younglings and Obi-Wan had released the master.

Then Ryn-yn took a step back from Anakin and gestured towards the hallway. "We have a ceremony to complete," he said, his face and voice expressionless.

Anakin gaped at him, then stared as Obi-Wan went to the younglings and bowed to them. "You are all to be commended," he said. "You did very well." He chuckled. "Though, Crista, I'm not sure if your calm look was due to trust in the Force or the fact that you knew there was no real danger."

She grinned up at him. "I guess I need to practice my acting skills, Master Obi-Wan."

He shook his head. "No. Honesty is a Jedi's only face." He gestured for them to follow Ryn-yn from the room. They did, and that left only master and apprentice facing each other. Obi-Wan said, "Will you accept that this was a test, and that I'm not allowed to explain anything more until after the ceremony?"

A hundred questions raced through Anakin's mind, and he wanted to be frustrated with Obi-Wan. But then this truth came to him, and he laughed, more in relief than because he was amused: Obi-Wan was safe, and the younglings were safe. No matter what else had happened, or for what reason, they were safe. He said, "All right, Obi. Lead on. I'll follow."

Obi-Wan nodded, pivoted, and led the way to the Council Chamber. When he and Anakin stood at the far end of the corridor, looking towards the chamber doors, Anakin saw the Jedi lined up along the walls. Council members all. Obi-Wan left his side and took his place at the end of the line on Anakin's left.

Anakin started down to the chamber doors, and the masters fell into step behind him, Obi-Wan on his left and Reeft on his right. Through the doors and to the center of the room. Anakin stood there while the Jedi filed around him. Obi-Wan stood near him, but not too close. His hands were hidden in the sleeves of his robes.

Yoda sat before Anakin in a meditative posture and the padawan imitated him. The Force sang around him, and he descended quickly to half-meditation, then through this, without conscious thought, to full meditation. Here he sat, suspended, and all thoughts of his Trials went out of his head. He didn't see anything in his mind, but felt a wave crest around him and over his head. In the wave was a message: soon you will be called to stand against three enemies you know, and yet don't know.

A strange message, but it was undeniably from the Force, and so he accepted it, relaxing into the wave and absorbing the message for later study. If he was meant to know, he would be told. And he _was_ meant to know.

The minutes of meditation passed silently but swiftly and soon Anakin felt the Jedi around him coming out of their meditation. He followed.

Yoda rose, motioning for Anakin to move to his knees. This Anakin did, bowing his head slightly. "No life's journey complete is before we die, but taken an important step today you have, Anakin Skywalker. More steps you have to take. Sense I do an argument going on inside you, but leading you away from the Jedi that argument is not, and so trust I will that time and experience resolve this argument will. Different from any other Trial yours today has been, and different it needed to be. Preparing you for a different road than that of most Jedi we are. Informed that the Chosen One you are we were last night. None know but those in this room. With the Jedi your path will be, for a time, and with the Force it will always be."

Anakin sensed Obi-Wan nearby, but he had no urge to turn and look. His eyes were on Yoda. Even when he felt Obi-Wan lift the padawan braid from his shoulder, he didn't turn his head.

"A step Knighthood is on the path to mastery. And a step mastery is on the path to being one with the Force and its will."

Anakin felt the press of the ceremonial blade against his braid, but he focused only on Yoda. Something about the master's words spoke to him more deeply than words ever had. Something in Yoda called to him, and though he guessed it might simply be the Force shining through Yoda, he wondered if it might be something else. Looking at Yoda, strangely, reminded him of looking at his mother. And not how she had been right before she died, as he had so often imagined her, but as she had been when he was quite young, ready with open arms to always welcome him home, and also ready to send him where he needed to go out in the dangerous world.

"This moment, Anakin, marks your first breath-

The blade cut the braid, and it fell into Anakin's hands, which rested in his lap. The knight stared down at the long twist of hair.

"-as a Jedi Knight. Welcome you we do."

Anakin rose, not knowing why he did so, only knowing that he must. He bowed to Yoda, including the rest of the Council in this gesture. Then he turned to Obi-Wan, who still held the knife, blade-down, in one hand. His former master's eyes were unreadable. The two of them bowed to each other. Only then, as they straightened, did Obi-Wan grin, and though the expression was small, it was warm as a sun-bathed rock.

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, then Obi-Wan stepped back and allowed others to come to Anakin and congratulate him. Anakin- who had almost seen himself kissing Obi-Wan during that long moment, weakness be damned- was tempted to be hurt, but then, meeting Obi-Wan's eyes over Master Cro's shoulder, he saw that Obi-Wan wanted very much to hold him, but that the master dreaded embarrassing himself or his former padawan.

When he'd been congratulated by all and was allowed to leave, Anakin moved to Obi-Wan's side and held out the severed padawan braid. The need for formal speech was on him and he wondered when he would find the place and wit to ask Obi-Wan to hold him. He said, "Please keep this, Master Obi-Wan. Let it be a sign that I will always be a student, always learning, from other Jedi, and always from you."

Obi-Wan took the braid, bowed over it, and said, his voice composed but his eyes giving away a touch of what he felt, "Thank you, Anakin."

Anakin wanted very much to be alone with Obi-Wan, and so he said, "Can we walk in the gardens? You can explain that last test to me."

"I would-" Obi-Wan began, but then Yoda was standing beside them, and the younger master deferred to the elder.

"Understand your need to talk with Obi-Wan I do," Yoda said, "but tell you a truth I must." He gestured, and Anakin saw that the three of them were almost alone in the room. Only Mace remained, sitting in his chair a little distance from them. "Obi-Wan may stay if you wish him to."

Anakin nodded, unable to imagine asking Obi-Wan to leave. "Yes, Master. I want him to stay."

Yoda sat down right there and the two younger Jedi sat before him. Mace left his seat and came to sit beside Yoda. For a moment, all of them were silent. Then Yoda began to speak.

"Fifteen Coruscanti years ago, gave birth I did to a boy-child unlike any I had seen before. Looked like me he did not, and, at first, believed I did that looked like his father he did not."

Anakin's jaw dropped, but he shot a glance at Obi-Wan, and seeing not a trace of expression on his master's face, he was reminded of what being a Jedi meant. He shut his mouth. Still, he couldn't stop this thought: _Yoda had a baby? _Somehow, this was much harder to grasp than Obi-Wan bearing children. And even though Yoda and Mace had been together much longer than Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, Anakin had scarcely been able to picture them having a child. What would such a child look like? He found himself trying to picture a green Mace with white hair, or a brown Yoda with long arms and no hair at all. Either possibility shocked him.

Seemingly, Yoda knew where Anakin's thoughts had wandered. "My first child he was not. And with each child, the Force worked a different miracle. Yace, the first, looked much like Mace." He smiled. "Hence the name. Non-Force-sensitive he was, and so sent him to Mace's family we did. The second, Ahleh we called."

Anakin shot a glance at Obi-Wan. _Your master? Did you know?_ But if Obi-Wan knew, this wasn't evident on his face. _Then again, if he was ever to show his surprise, he'd probably be close to fainting. _Anakin turned his eyes back to Yoda.

The elderly master was smiling. "Knew she did. Told her I did when she became a knight. Mace's skin color she had, but none of his other features. Easy it was to pass her off as only a found youngling with a strong Force connection." He paused, glanced at Mace, then said, "My third child I will speak of in a moment, but the fourth we named Woda because looks so much like me he does. A miracle the Force has worked time and again. Each child looks like one of us, and never like both of us." Yoda's smile, and the way he met Anakin's gaze, showed that he knew exactly what the former padawan had been thinking, or at least that he had a good idea of what might have been running through Anakin's mind.

"And now, to my third child, born fifteen years ago. I say 'my third' and not 'our third' because Woda was Mace's third child."

Before Anakin could even guess what that might mean, Yoda continued:

"Unsure what to name him at first I was, because by the end of the first day of his life, told me the Force did that the boy Mace's son was not. The boy was born of my flesh, and of the Force."

Obi-Wan's lips moved, then he was still.

Anakin wanted desperately to know what was going through Obi-Wan's mind, but Yoda was still speaking, and so Anakin let the question go.

"A high midichlorian count the boy had, higher than any Jedi I had ever known. Stood to reason this did, considering who his sire was." Yoda was quiet for a long moment, then he said, "Understand you must that, from his first breath, different this child was. Able to move things with his mind he could when only a few minutes old he was. And able to move much more than human babies he was. And of him the Force spoke almost at once, saying that he would help bring balance to the Force."

Anakin opened his mouth, but Obi-Wan reached out and touched the younger man's wrist. Just a brief squeeze, then Obi-Wan withdrew his hand. But his grasp had the desired affect; Anakin was able to guard his tongue. But it was a near thing. This baby Yoda spoke of- two years younger than Anakin- had seemingly been asked to become the Chosen One. So who was this boy, and if he was meant to be the Chosen One, who was Anakin? He didn't deny that being freed of the title might make his life easier, but he found he didn't want his life to be easier.

"Experienced a love and attachment so strong I did that considered hiding the baby from the Force I did." Yoda was silent, and his eyes were downcast for a moment. Then he looked back up, meeting first Anakin's gaze, then Obi-Wan's. "After losing Ahleh, wished nothing more than to keep this child safe did I." He glanced at Mace.

"Do you remember holding a little boy fifteen years ago, Obi-Wan?" Mace asked. "You were a young teenager at the time. Qui-Gon had gone on one of the solo missions he undertook during your padawanship, and you were walking in the Garden of Light."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master. I came upon you and Master Yoda walking there. You told me the child was Force-sensitive but you couldn't decide whether to keep him or not." He smiled a little. "I was shocked that you were asking for my opinion."

Mace said, "I asked because I saw a connection between you and the baby. I couldn't see how the two of you were meant to come together, but that your paths were inextricably linked was never in question."

"Curious I am," Yoda said. "Felt anything did you when held the baby you did?"

Anakin wanted to demand that they give this baby a name and explain what it had to do with him. He felt lost in the discussion of fifteen-year-gone walks and feelings.

"The Force hummed like a tuned zyter being strummed," Obi-Wan said. "I'd never heard or felt It so clearly before. When I looked down into the baby's eyes, it was as if the world had dropped away and only the baby, the Force, and I existed."

Yoda nodded. "Saw much of that in your expression I did." He sighed. "Wanted to remove the baby even more desperately from the path of the Force I did. But strong the Force was with me, and so defy it at once I could not. I kept the baby for two weeks. During that time, the child gained a name, and also two years of life."

"He grew as I did on Dagobah," Obi-Wan murmured.

"You noticed," Mace said. "We weren't sure if you would."

Obi-Wan smiled a little. "I couldn't help but see it, once I had time and occasion to glance in a mirror." He turned to Anakin. "The Force can age us more than we would naturally. It's a rare occurrence."

Anakin did his best to digest this. _So, _he thought, _now the boy is two years old instead of two weeks. So if he was born fifteen years ago and gained two years, he's seventeen._ A sudden, unreasoning fear seized him. If Obi-Wan was meant to join with this other man, as the Force said, would he be leaving Anakin now that Anakin was a Knight?

"Took my son to Tatooine I did. There, found I did a woman who had lost her own son to Tusken Raiders. Gave her my son I did, believing that hide him from his destiny I possibly could." He looked at Anakin. "Her name Shmi Skywalker was."

Anakin's jaw dropped again, but this time he couldn't stop his words. "I'm your-" But his words were silenced by the tightness in his throat. "I'm your-"

Yoda reached out, catching one of Anakin's hands in his. "My son you are. Named you Anakin I did. Your came to me in a dream came. The name of Shmi's lost child it was, but also it means 'child of the Force'." He smiled. "Saw what I was planning the Force did, and even saw how to protect you it did. My greatest defiance of the Force this was. Shocked I was, and still concerned for you, when brought you back from Tatooine Qui-Gon did. And only when saw I did that you and Obi-Wan so close were did I begin to see that fighting the Force truly foolish was."

He seemed to want to say more; even in Anakin's dizzy-minded state, this much was apparent. Well, and Anakin wanted to say a few things, too. He'd forgotten completely about the trick that had been played on him as part of his Trials. But neither of them was going to get that chance, at least not right away. The chimes to the chamber were struck, and Anakin groaned inwardly.

Obi-Wan rose and went to the door. Anakin realized, belatedly, that this should have been his task, since he was the most junior Jedi there. He glanced at Yoda, but saw that the master- _my father- mother- my…- _seemed to understand and forgive Anakin's breach of protocol.

A Senatorial aide stood in the doorway, shuffling his feet. He started to bow to Obi-Wan, then stopped, then took a step back. "I'm looking for Master Kenobi," he said.

"You've found him," Obi-Wan answered, his voice soothing without seeming to be so. "How may I help you?"

The aide drew himself up to his full height. "Chancellor Palpatine has heard of your return," he said, "and he wishes to honor you for your great accomplishments."

_What accomplishments? _Anakin wondered. _We've been on a dozen missions, but none of them were extraordinary._ He couldn't see Obi-Wan's face, and nothing could be discerned from the set of his former master's shoulders.

Yoda spoke. "Wish for his former padawan to accompany him does the chancellor?"

The aide nodded, and at last settled on a bow in Yoda's general direction. "Yes, sir."

"Speak briefly with these two I will," Yoda said. "A moment only. Then accompany you they will." He beckoned to Obi-Wan who nodded to the aide, then took two steps back so the door closed.

Obi-Wan returned to Yoda and sat as before. His gaze was bright with a suspicion and caution Anakin had come to associate with his master every time he entered the Senate.

Yoda fixed Obi-Wan with a penetrating stare. "Mistrust him even more you do now."

Obi-Wan said, "Anakin and I found evidence that the Chancellor has been part of the corruption in the Senate, and we intercepted a communiqué between Count Dooku and someone in the Chancellor's office. I don't know if it's him, and I have no reason to suspect him-"

Remembering all they'd discovered, and the tension that had filled them both when they thought of the Chancellor connected in any way with the Dark Side, Anakin said, "Except it just feels right that he would be helping Sidious." _Besides, _he thought, _it took a lot of evidence to bring you to this point, Obi, and I'm not going to let your reluctance towards exposing others unfairly stop this from coming out._ "Not because he's evil, and he probably doesn't know it's Sidious he's helping, but because he has no more moral depth than a puddle on Tatooine. The corruption he was involved with was related to everything from getting weapons to the Separatists to encouraging the slave trade in the Outer Rim." He glanced at Obi-Wan to see if his master would say anything against these truths, but Obi-Wan only looked grave.

There was silence between the two older masters, then Mace said, "Still, it's better for us to stay on his good side. This isn't an order, but will you both go?"

Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan. He felt the need to speak to the chancellor, even though he knew this wasn't the right time to confront him. But he longed to see if the chancellor was giving off signs that, until now, only Obi-Wan, on a mostly subconscious level, had been aware of. In Obi-Wan's gaze, he read determination to do as they were asked.

"All right," Obi-Wan said.

"May the Force be with you," Yoda said.

In tandem, Obi-Wan and Anakin rose, bowed, and headed to the door. Only as they were passing through it did Anakin remember that he still had much to ask Yoda. _So this is the life of a knight, _he thought. _Not much different than a padawan; we still don't have time to do all the things we want to do._ He froze for an instant as that thought traveled through him. _Not enough time for explanations, so probably not enough time for love. _He knew he was looking for excuses to take his mind off Obi-Wan, but he vowed he would continue to do so. Little mind-games were allowed, if they were the only way to keep the pain to a minimum.

oOo

Side by side, they bowed to Palpatine. He remained seated behind his desk, but offered them a slight nod. Then he gestured for them to sit, and they took the offered seats before the desk.

The chancellor congratulated them on their past few missions, words Anakin barely registered. He was concentrating on looking at Palpatine and measuring him. And he was actively conscious of Obi-Wan beside him. Obi-Wan had worn his diplomatic face from the moment they left the Council Chamber, and no matter how much Anakin tried, he couldn't see so much as a hairline crack in the mask.

"And congratulations are in order to you in particular, Anakin," Palpatine said. "You have become a Knight, I see. That must have happened since you returned to the temple. I can't think of a Jedi who deserves it more than you."

An aide appeared then, slipping in through the door. It wasn't the same nervous man from before, but he still lingered a little distance away, waiting for Palpatine to notice him.

Anakin wondered at that. As far as he knew, there was no reason for most people to fear the chancellor.

And when Palpatine spoke, he was perfectly civil. "Do you have a message?" he asked.

The aide nodded. "Master Yil wishes to see Master Kenobi. I'm to take Master Kenobi to him."

Anakin darted a half-glance at Obi-Wan, saw that his master didn't want to leave, and yet that he would. Anakin nodded, trying to show he understood. He'd become so accustomed to their bond that it was as if they couldn't talk any other way now. He hoped the new bond would be made soon. Giving up on any silent communiqué, and needing Obi-Wan to know that all would be well, Anakin said, "I'll catch up with you, Master."

Obi-Wan nodded, first to Anakin, then to the chancellor, then he turned and left.

Palpatine waited a moment after Obi-Wan was gone, then he rose, came around the desk, and sat beside Anakin. "Why do you still call him 'Master'?"

Startled by the sudden proximity but trying to hide it as Obi-Wan would, Anakin said, "Habit. And out of respect. He's taught me so much."

Palpatine made a noncommittal gesture. He leaned close to Anakin, and the cast of his eyes was so patently sincere that Anakin almost laughed. Did this man think he was fooling anyone?

The chancellor said, "There are lessons outside the Jedi that he can't teach you, that only hard experience, or a friend outside the Order, can teach you."

"Master Obi-Wan has many friends outside the Order," Anakin told him, misunderstanding on purpose, all the while wondering, _Why would the chancellor want to be my friend?_ "They all teach me things I never knew existed."

"Would you be insulted if I wanted to be your friend, Anakin?"

"No, sir. The Jedi want to be friends with all, especially within the Senate and the Republic."

Palpatine sighed. "I don't mean an 'official friend' Anakin. I suppose I mean more like a mentor or father, something you've never really had."

"Obi-Wan is like my father." No, Obi-Wan had never been like his father. His older brother, yes, for a day, and then his master and friend, and now he was… something else. But he'd never been Anakin's father.

Palpatine said, "But he isn't, is he? Not really. He was your master. You need an equal, a friend. A confidante. I'm sure there are secrets you don't feel comfortable sharing with your former master."

_Only the secret that I love him, and that's not something I'm ready to share with anyone besides Reeft. _Anakin wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to remain on polite terms with the chancellor; as a Jedi, it was his duty to try and maintain peaceful relations.

But before he had to struggle with this dilemma for more than a few seconds, the Force rippled through him, and he heard, through that mysterious pulse, the distant sound of blaster fire. And, on the back of the wave, came the sense of his master, not injured, not yet, but in the midst of that fire. Now he could hear the hum of Obi-Wan's lightsaber, though he knew he was physically too far away to hear anything. He glanced at Palpatine. "Forgive me. There's a disturbance in the Force." And without waiting to see what the chancellor would do or say, he turned on his heel and raced from the office. He longed for their old bond, and vowed that when he and Obi-Wan were out of this new danger, he woud insist they build a new bond immediately.

oOo

The aide asked Obi-Wan to wait in a small room on the rim of the building. There was a large window in it, a chair, and, above the window, a high, sturdy shelf. Obi-Wan took this all in as the aide informed him that Ryn-yn would arrive shortly. Obi-Wan nodded and settled himself by the window to wait. The aide left; the door closed behind him. Obi-Wan noted that the door wasn't locked. Not that he expected it to be, but relaxing his guard after such a long string of dangerous missions was difficult. And he never relaxed his guard all the way anymore, in seemed, not even at Temple, not even in the quarters he shared with Anakin.

_The quarters we won't be sharing much longer. He's a knight now. _A wave of sadness tinged with joy rolled over him. He let it build, then pass. There were other things to think on. Yoda's announcement, for one. But he couldn't focus there, either. No, his thoughts were on the dreams he'd had while Anakin was in the midst of his Trials. NO matter what he and Reeft had discussed, he still couldn't decide what to do. Doing anything- even having the dream- seemed disloyal to Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan's heart ached as he remembered their parting. Even if it hadn't been in the physical world, he didn't doubt that it had happened.

And there were still more important things, more important than his confusion or pain. Something, he sensed, his reason needed to tell him, something he'd done wrong. Not on purpose, but as an unconscious means of defending himself.

But before he could delve into this revelation, the Force rose round him, drawing his attention to the window. A tiny, circular droid hung outside, its one large sensor-eye staring at him. Obi-Wan knew the design at once, though the assassin who had used its type was dead. It looked just like the droid he'd leapt through Senator Amidala's window to catch.

Under the droid's eye, a little door opened, and a blaster barrel appeared.

Behind Obi-Wan, the door was suddenly pummeled by blaster fire. He was caught in crossfire.

Or most people would have been. Obi-Wan Force-leapt to the shelf above the window, and as the door disintegrated, the droid outside the window took out two more of its kind in the hallway, and six of those in the hall took out the droid outside the window. Two dozen of the little flying spheres now remained, and realizing that their target was above, they began to shoot at him. Some tried to knock him off the shelf while others decided to disintegrate the shelf and make him fall.

Obi-Wan didn't wait for the shelf to disappear. He leapt down, lightsaber spinning, into the midst of those in the room, and began forcing them back out into the hallway. And as he fought, he wondered where Ryn-yn was, if he was safe, and where the droids had come from. If this new attempt on his life was planned by the Separatists, then they were still right here on Coruscant, right in the Senate. He knew that Jedi had been sent, after he was taken to Temple, to search the rotunda and the surrounding area, but no one had been found. The search was still going on, though it had been widened and had mostly become a waiting game as the Jedi followed various leads.

_Wait. The Separatists don't have much of a reason to want me dead. The Sith, who want to rule the galaxy in Darkness, would want it, because the Dark Force- _He stopped that thought. IT was close to what his reason had wanted to tell him only a minute ago. Well, no time to work it out now. Despite his detached thoughts, the battle was still going on, and more spherical droids were arriving; he counted thirty reinforcements at a glance.

The song of the Force in his bones jumped up a notch, and then a whirling, leaping figure dropped right beside him into the midst of the fray.

Anakin's lightsaber glowed, and so did his eyes, but not with anger. His impishness shone forth, and Obi-Wan was glad to see it. "I leave you alone for five minutes…" Anakin said as he neatly cleaved a droid in two.

"I suppose this means you and I will have to work together a little longer or I'll never be let out of Temple."

Anakin grinned and turned to slice another droid.

Obi-Wan destroyed three droids with one arc of his 'saber. He asked, "Did you leave the chancellor alone?"

"What else was I going to do? The Force said you needed me, so I came."

_Strictly speaking, the Force rarely says anything. _There. That was most of what his reason had been trying to tell him. This wasn't the best time for a discussion of that revelation. Despite their relatively single-minded and predictable attack approach, the droids were still dangerous. "Well, I'm glad you're here. Recycling is a useful task, but it can be boring when you do it alone." He obliterated yet another droid. They were at last starting to thin out. But unlike living beings, they would fight on to the last functioning unit.

Two minutes later saw the end of the droids. Security forces had arrived, but they stood well back, content to watch the Jedi dismantle the last half dozen droids between them. When all the droids were so much fizzling circuitry on the carpet, Obi-Wan sheathed his lightsaber and unclipped his comlink from his belt. Ignoring the shocked voices of the security detail and the questions they'd begun to fire at Anakin, he activated the small device. "Obi-Wan to Ryn-yn. Respond, please."

Ryn-yn's voice came back at once. "Ryn-yn here. Everything all right?"

"I was going to ask you the same. A battalion of sphere-droids attacked me while I was waiting for you."

"Did we have a meeting I forgot?"

"An aide told me to meet you."

"I'm on the Senate floor. Where did the aide take you?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Never mind. You didn't send the aide?"

"I didn't."

"I'll find out where the aide got his orders." Such was his mind just then that Obi-Wan would have simply clicked off the comlink without another word. But Ryn-yn's voice forestalled him.

"Talk this over with Yoda. The Council- Are you alone?"

"No."

"Just talk to Yoda." Ryn-yn paused. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"No." Obi-Wan wanted to pursue Ryn-yn's abortive statement, but now wasn't the time. He was very much aware of his emotional state. He needed to go somewhere quiet for a few minutes and not only release what he felt, but work out the several struggles that were threatening to distract him at a crucial moment. "I'll return to Temple."

"All right. I'll send someone over to collect a sample of the droid mess." A pause, then, "Oh, and congratulate Anakin for me, if you would."

His statement grew an honest chuckle from Obi-Wan. "News travels fast."

"And I heard it from a Senator, not a Jedi." A pause, then, "Ryn-yn out."

Obi-Wan slipped the comlink back into place, then turned to help Anakin field questions. Five minutes later, he and his padawan were striding out of the rotunda. They hadn't spoken to each other since their battle repartee, but now Obi-Wan said, "We have much to discuss. It will have to wait until we speak with Master Yoda, but we must talk."

Anakin nodded. "I think those droids are going to end up being untraceable."

"More than likely." And, until they could truly talk, Obi-Wan realized that would have to be that.

But Anakin disagreed. Laying a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder- they were standing near the edge of the little island where the rotunda crouched- he said, "We have to reestablish our bond. Before anything else goes wrong." He flushed, but didn't explain his urgency.

Obi-Wan searched his own heart and mind before answering. "All right." He closed his eyes and reached out. Halfway, he met Anakin. They were joined. The new bond, he felt at once, went deeper than the old and it would be even harder to cut this one than the last. He sent, _If this was ever to be severed, it would be more like losing a lung than a limb. Painful doesn't even begin to describe the disorientation and loss we'd feel._

_Was your second bond with Qui-Gon like this?_

_No. _Obi-Wan's smile was wan. _As is true with most of what I've felt with you, this is new to me. But can't you feel its depth and strength for yourself? The Force hums with it. That will pass, in time; we'll become used to this bond as we were used to the last. But the strength of the bond will not diminish. _He paused, considering. _Some bonds increase in strength if they are used often enough._

Anakin drew half a step closer to Obi-Wan. _Could destroying this bond ever be like killing? _He sounded afraid and awed.

_Doubtful, _Obi-Wan answered. _It is a psychic bond within the Force, and no matter what happened to it, the Force would still be in us and around us, sustaining us. But it could be… very distressing. _He smiled a little again. _We have now reached a point in questioning that I hope we never have to go beyond. Some questions are best left unanswered. _He clapped a hand on Anakin's shoulder, bringing them both back to the physical world. "Now, we need to go speak with Master Yoda."

oOo

Their council with Yoda was brief. The wise master seemed to see the need in both of them to be alone together and work things out.

He told them the Council had shared a vision. The central image had been a vast and growing tree, with arcing branches, and blossoms on each branch. The tree was the Force, or so the Council members deduced, and this tree rose out of strong, yet rocky soil, and was fed by the blowing wind, which brought water and nutrients. To this tree came Ryn-yn, alone, and he laid his hand on it to draw strength. All around him hovered the half-visible visages of Jedi past who had done the same. Then a figure approached Ryn-yn- a being white as the light of ten suns on unmelted snow- and when Ryn-yn turned, he cried out once, threw up his hands to protect himself- and disappeared, incinerated. The being laughed. The tree, allowing this to happen, glowed for a moment; for a breath, Ryn-yn's features could be seen in its bark. Then the tree was alone again, and the being was gone. Not into the tree, but far away from it, as far as the being could get.

Yoda paused, allowing the Jedi to draw their own conclusions, then he said, "Speaks of death in the Force this vision does." He met Obi-Wan's gaze. "Your thoughts I would hear."

Anakin opened his mouth, then shut it.

Obi-Wan glanced at him, then back at Yoda, who nodded. "Go ahead, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "I'll give my own opinion in a minute."

Anakin hesitated, but only for an instant. They'd asked for his opinion; he'd be a fool to miss this opportunity. "Ryn-yn is going to die," he said. "Maybe this vision was using him as a metaphor for all Jedi, but I don't think that was its first goal. He's going to die, to be killed by someone we think is above reproach."

"These are my thoughts also," Obi-Wan said.

Yoda nodded. "Perhaps another vision tell us more will." He looked between the two Jedi. "A need to talk I see in both your faces. Dismissed you are. Only a short time you will have together, I believe. Talk quickly you should." He rose and gestured for them to do the same. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you," Obi-Wan returned. Then he and Anakin left. They walked towards their quarters in silence, though they both felt the press of time. Emotions flowed freely between them: tension and concern from Anakin, self-directed irritation and a sense of time running swiftly behind them from Obi-Wan. All these emotions were muted in the balm that was the Force.

Once they were in their quarters, Obi-Wan locked the door. He didn't justify this gesture, but went to the couch and motioned for Anakin to join him there. "What would you discuss, Pad-" he shook his head- "forgive me, Anakin. Do you want me to tell you about that last Trial?"

"Not yet." Anakin ached to hold Obi-Wan's hands, and judging that he could keep his feelings in check, he gave in, cradling Obi-Wan's hands in his. "Forgive me. You're probably tired of my worry. But are you hurt?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm distracted and there's much on my mind, but I wasn't injured. The Force was with me."

Still sensing distance between them, longing for the years before Obi-Wan went to Dagobah, _or even, _he thought, _the weeks before I was promoted to senior padawanship,_ Anakin reached through their bond. _Obi?_

A wave of sadness and deep, abiding love was his answer. That, and the arm that curled around his shoulders and drew him close.

Anakin leaned against Obi-Wan for a moment, then sent, _We can't sit like this forever. I'm much taller than you. _A tiny smile. _Master. _

_But you want to be held. If this isn't comfortable, lie with your head on my lap. _

Anakin blinked and blushed. _Is that allowed?_

_We're alone here. Neither of us is a Sith Lord or a Dark Force user. I trust you enough to have you do that. Do you trust me enough?_

_Yes. _Anakin lay on his back with his head pillowed on Obi-Wan's thigh. He closed his eyes as Obi-Wan smoothed his hair back with one hand and massaged his shoulder with the other. Much of his tension evaporated, and he felt Obi-Wan's scattered thoughts settling like so many little birds crowding into nests for the night. He decided to ask a question that would test the waters between them. _Obi?_

_Hm?_ The hands stilled, then began to move again.

_Why are we comfortable like this?_

_Anakin, do you want my theories or the most logical reason?_

_Logic, I guess._ He thought he might be disappointed, but he reasoned that as a Jedi he couldn't overindulge in dreams. Still, dreams were more than nice; they were necessary sometimes.

_We were made this way, and, maybe, our destinies are connected, and so we are meant to face a similar future together._

_As what?_ He meant: as friends or as lovers? But Obi-Wan couldn't know that.

_As Jedi. What else?_

Anakin couldn't answer.

After a little time, Obi-Wan asked, _Do you want to hear my theories?_

Anakin rallied himself; he was more hurt than he wanted to admit by Obi-Wan's words. _Sure._

_Sometimes I think you were given to me as a padawan and friend to ease the pain I feel at Qui-Gon's passing. _A pause. _And to help me in a decision I had to make recently._

_What decision?_

_I had to let go of Qui-Gon's memory, not to forget him, but not to mourn what is lost. I couldn't have done that without you, or, at least I couldn't have done it and come out the stronger._

Anakin let go of his hurt.

_As for theories: We were put together- and depend on each other- because, in many ways, we're opposites. Or, if you like, we're together because we are so much alike._

Anakin blinked. _Alike? How?_

_Arrogance, though it manifests itself in different ways, and passion. _He paused. _Anakin? Do you mind if I leave off the theories for a moment? There's something I need to tell you._

Anakin felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He tried to hide this feeling from Obi-Wan, but failed.

_It's nothing bad. Just a mistake I made. It started as an unconscious wall between my fears and my rational mind, but I nurtured it. Ready? _But he didn't wait for Anakin's go-ahead. _The Force is an intelligent energy field. It guides us more than a sandstorm or a current in the ocean would, but It is not the be-all and end-all Answer that I was making It out to be. It isn't, to use an archaic term, a god. I put the Force into that place of honor because I didn't think I could make my own decisions. Even after everything I learned on Dagobah, this still remained: you were attacked and I couldn't help. Knowing that, and because I didn't want to feel guilty for letting Adee rape you, I tried to put all blame and all responsibility on the Force._

_Obi, the rape didn't break me like you- _He stopped. _I'm sorry. That sounded disrespectful._

_It's all right, Anakin. My past pain is no secret; don't treat it like a taboo topic. It's part of who I am, and so it is part of our relationship. It's not something I would change if I could. I am the man you see today because of everything I've grown through. Do you understand what I mean about the Force being less of a god and more of a intelligent, all-knowing energy field? _He shook his head, laughed a little. _I admit, saying it that way doesn't make much of a distinction, but the division is great. We still call on the Force, and the Force still leads us, but sometimes, when we hear a voice speaking to us in times of trouble, it is our own voice. Maybe influenced by the Force, but hardly ever is it the Voice of the Force. Have I lost you?_

_No. I didn't know you had believed the Force was a higher being. I didn't know you went through all this. _When_ did you go through it?_

_After Qui-Gon died, but mostly during our mission to protect Senator Amidala. That mission to Geonosis was more unsettling to me than I could at first admit. And afterwards, when I dreamed of Qui-Gon, I pretended to myself that the Force was speaking to me, because I didn't know how else to- _He stopped, and a wave of dizziness passed over him. _Where is the line between visions and created images?_

Anakin felt Obi-Wan's unease. He sat up and drew the older man into the circle of his arms _Obi? What are you talking about?_

_I… Anakin, I…_

A feeling passed through them both, a sensation akin to having a warm wave pass overhead, then recede.

Anakin sensed the easing in Obi-Wan's mind. _What was that?_

_The answer to my question, _the master answered. _Visions do happen, and the Force can speak. No matter the created things in my own mind, that truth lives. _He shook his head, his beard brushing against the low collar of Anakin's tunic, and also against the younger man's shin._ My faith is not misplaced. The Force is still to be leaned upon. _He drew back from Anakin. "It was a spiritual crisis, one you didn't share in. And I have to admit that much of the fear I felt was concern that you would have fallen into the same trap of seeing the Force as more than It is." He laughed a little. "I didn't have to worry about that, seemingly."

Anakin took in everything Obi-Wan had said, then he said, "When I'm gaining trust in the Force every day, but still I'm nowhere near your level of faith, I don't think you have to worry about me making more of the Force than it is." He let his hands fall from about Obi-Wan's shoulders, clasping the older man's hands in his. "But why did you need to pretend the Force was so strong?"

Obi-Wan met his gaze squarely. "I would prefer not to say completely. There are two parts to my hiding. The Force commands me not to tell the first part, and I know now that it was in fact the Force and not a product of my self-deception. As to the second reason, I'm reluctant to discuss it unless you and I talk first about what Adee did to you."

Anakin tensed, but couldn't bring himself to pull away.

The older man continued, "When I mentioned the attack, you flinched, in your mind and physically. I doubt you were aware of it. Or if you were, I think you were trying to hide it from me." He gripped Anakin's hands with sudden force and said, "Listen to me. All your progress with the Force isn't going to mean anything unless you acknowledge the emotions you feel. Surely they're different from the ones I've felt under similar circumstances, but many of them are also the same."

"How does my talking about an event that's long over relate to you explaining yourself?"

"Because I have a confession to make, one that I won't place on you until I know you can handle it. As things are right now, my confession might frighten you, and I would rather almost anything than that. Why are you so reluctant to talk about the rape?"

Anakin flinched; he was aware of it this time, though Obi-Wan had been right: he hadn't noticed any flinch last time. "Why are you so determined to talk about something I've dealt with? I did a lot of growing while you were gone. You don't talk about all of that. What makes this so different?"

"Actually, unless there's a galactic-sized secret you're keeping from me, I think we've talked about all the rest, in one form or another. Anakin, I can't force you to talk. Even when you were a padawan, I couldn't do that. And now I can't order you to do so, something I've never felt the need to do until now. You're past ordering; you're a knight. But, Anakin, ask yourself honestly: why are you so unwilling to talk about this? If it's not an issue anymore, as you claim, what's the harm in humoring your ex-master in this one last thing? If you do that, I promise I will lay bear this reason that concerns us both."

Anakin stood up, turned away, and went to stand near the doors to the balcony. "Please, Obi," he whispered, "don't ask me. Maybe I haven't dealt with it, but-" He bit his tongue. Obi-Wan's gentle questions had pulled at him until he was almost ready to confess. But he couldn't. He wouldn't.

Obi-Wan rose. He crossed to Anakin and wrapped his arms around the taller man from behind. As Anakin tensed under his hands, he said, "Does my closeness frighten you? Or does it just make you uncomfortable?"

Anakin stood like a stone in the circle of his arms. "Both," he admitted at last.

Obi-Wan drew back and moved so that he stood before Anakin. "Then there's no way I can confess that second reason. What Adee did to you is making you uncomfortable around me now. It wasn't before but now that you remember it and are thinking on it, an embrace that always gave you comfort is having the opposite effect."

"It's not just thinking about Adee." Anakin retreated several steps. "I don't want to think about this right now. I should think about setting up my own quarters so I'm not a burden on you."

Obi-Wan's eyes flashed. "Anakin, what is it?" he demanded. He advanced on his former padawan, and his expression was as fierce as Anakin had ever seen it. "I won't let you undo all the ties we've made, all the trust and-"

Anakin fumbled in his mind, looking for the end of the new link. He found it, buried deep. He braced himself, hastily built a shield about the rest of his mind, hesitated for an instant, then cut the link.

He meant to escape before Obi-Wan realized the link was broken, but the older Jedi's cry was immediate and much louder than Anakin had expected. He hesitated again, wanting to just walk out- Force knew that if he stayed, Obi-Wan's innocent and not so innocent words would work subtle magic on his heart and make him speak all his fear. Glancing back, he saw Obi-Wan was still on his feet, but his head was bowed, his face hidden in his hands. His shoulders didn't shake and he didn't cry out again, but Anakin swore he could see the pain he'd caused in every line of the man's body.

Should he stay? What good would it do? He would lose the battle he was now fighting, and in that case, the pain he'd caused Obi-Wan would be unforgivable.

Clearing his throat, he said, "I…" But finding that he really had nothing to say, that he couldn't even pretend at being sorry, he turned and left their quarters. _Obi-Wan's quarters now, _he thought.

Just before the doors closed, he thought he heard "Wait. Please" but he chose to ignore it.


	39. Confrontation

Confrontation

Anakin had asked, _Could destroying this bond ever be like killing?_

At the time, Obi-Wan had wondered why his former padawan was worried, but he'd decided that Anakin was simply being cautious. _Yes, and looking out for me, _he'd thought at the time. Anakin's need to protect him was humorous at times, exasperating at others, and sometimes just painful. Did Anakin think so little of him? True, his own self-worth wasn't based on how others viewed him, but he'd always thought Anakin, at least, would grow to see him as more than weak.

Taking himself back to the time before the bond was shattered, Obi-Wan remembered how he had answered:_ Doubtful..._ _But it could be… very distressing. We have now reached a point in questioning that I hope we never have to go beyond. Some questions are best left unanswered. _

Yes, all that was true, though, seemingly, Anakin hadn't felt the pain he felt.

A memory eight years old rose in his mind. He remembered facing his Trials in the small meditation room, but it wasn't Adee's attack he was thinking of, but the doors. He'd been sexually violated behind each of those doors. Only now did he realize that one species of being fondled and ripped apart could be the symbol for another.

Master Ahleh had touched him, which she would never do. But maybe the true betrayal he'd felt all those years was that she'd left him. As for the others, well, ber'Nac's touching could be just that, or it could also stand for the anguish Obi-Wan felt when he realized how far he'd fallen from the Light Force. Each time Xanatos had attacked, Obi-Wan had been more conscious of his weak connection to the Force than to the pain itself, so that had been his fear, even while facing the Trials: that, even then, he wasn't strong enough to be a Jedi, no matter what the Council decided about his fate. And as far as Darth Maul went, his imagined battle with the Sith had been centered more around his fear for Qui-Gon than his fear of being touched. He'd feared losing Qui-Gon more than anything, except losing the Force again.

_And here I am, _he thought, _finally deciding that, with the Force's help, I am strong enough. And I've made up my mind that I can let go of Qui-Gon, no matter how faithless I feel. As for Master Ahleh, I think I've forgiven her for leaving._

But he'd suffered another's touch behind those imagined doors.

_Anakin._

He hadn't really been afraid of Anakin molesting him, but of Anakin betraying him. He'd feared getting too close to the boy Qui-Gon had found, letting his shields down, letting the boy in, then having Anakin turn from him. He'd feared that more than almost anything, he realized, as if his heart had known he would lose Qui-Gon and Anakin would be all he had left.

_That's not true! I have the Force! I have other friends! What sort of-?_

But he knew. Just as he'd said to Anakin, they were meant to be together for a greater purpose than either of them could see. And if they fell apart, would they ever be able to accomplish the tasks the Force was laying in their paths?

_Possibly not, but who am I to stop trying just because the plan has been altered?_

He would continue.

"And the first step," he whispered, "is to get up, close off that part of me that hurts until I can spend some time healing it, and go after Anakin." He lowered his hands, tried to take a step. His kneels buckled, and he collapsed, catching himself on his hands.

"All right," he muttered, gasping slightly with pain, "I'll heal myself as best as I can first. _Then_ I'll go looking for him."

oOo

Palpatine, alone in his office, knew that his attempts with Anakin were going nowhere. If he could have sensed Anakin's confused, lost condition just then, he wouldn't have given up so easily, but the Force that lived in the Temple protected the new knight from prying eyes. And though Anakin was in pain, he wasn't fool enough to leave the Temple in such a state. He knew he was vulnerable.

The chancellor did without this information, and so he had decided to let Anakin go and to seek another. This other was just as powerful. Hadn't she terrified Adee into more or less impaling himself on a Jedi's lightsaber? Annie Jenn was more than powerful; she was angry. It would fall to Palpatine to find the source of that anger and help it to grow.

_Soon there will be 'learn about the Senate' day, when younglings take a tour of this building and talk with one or two galactic leaders. All I must do is make sure Annie comes with those younglings. Once she is here, I will separate her from the Jedi that bring the younglings. _Not such an easy task, but he was resourceful. _And, I think, so is she. If I tell her I want to speak with her, maybe she will devise a way. It will be a good test to see how inquisitive she is._

oOo

He struggled to keep walking. His hands shook, his knees trembled, and his stomach roiled. Soon he would throw up. Obi-Wan hadn't warned him enough about how bad the separation would be.

_I didn't warn him at all. _He grimaced. _And he _did_ warn me. I just decided to do it anyway. _Immature, probably, but it had felt absolutely necessary at the time.

_Yeah, but now…_ Couldn't he have found a better way to hold out against Obi-Wan? How much weakness ruled him if he couldn't even hold himself together through a simple, five-minute conversation?

He lurched towards Reeft's door. Reeft would let him hide for awhile. Eventually, Obi-Wan would come looking for him. When they met, Anakin wanted to be over the physical manifestations of the separation.

He all but fell on the chimes outside Reeft's door. A moment later, Reeft was there, supporting him and leading him inside. Anakin broke away from him and stumbled into the 'fresher. He fell to his knees before the bowl and let everything up. _Obi! _his mind screamed idiotically. There was no way Obi-Wan could hear him. But again he cried, _Obi! Obi! _He was crying.

He knelt there for only a short time, conscious that Reeft was somewhere nearby, listening to him. Forcing himself to his feet, he entered the common room. He had never noticed how alike Obi-Wan's quarters and Reeft's were. Both had the couch, the kitchen with the table before it, the hall that led to two bedrooms. There was even a teapot on the table. The only real differences were the lack of a balcony in Reeft's quarters, and where Obi-Wan had kept bookshelves Reeft had two meditation mats.

It was so like being back in the quarters he'd shared so long with Obi-Wan that Anakin felt his stomach coil uneasily. Trying to hide how queasy he felt, he made his way to the couch. He sat.

Reeft was standing by the table, his hand resting on the teapot, a silent invitation. After a moment, he joined Anakin. Mercifully, he didn't bring them each a cup of tea. "Do you want to talk?"

What could he say? "Obi-Wan and I had a- No. Not really a fight. We just…"

Reeft nodded. "You're free to stay here as long as you need. I encourage you to seek out Obi-Wan when you're calm. Are you ill?"

Anakin felt the urge to rub his arms, but stilled his hands. He wasn't really cold, he told himself, just- "Just hurt. I broke our bond. I didn't think it would be so strong."

"When you left Obi-Wan, was he all right?"

"I don't know." Anakin got to his feet. He wished Reeft had a balcony. He settled for pacing. "He won't leave off talking about what Adee did to me. He doesn't understand that I'm not like him. Adee's dead. Why should I be afraid of him? Obi-Wan was afraid of Xanatos after he died, but I'm not like that."

"Xanatos may not be dead."

Anakin shook his head violently. "Dead or not, he's not here, so Obi-Wan's fear was stupid." He sucked in his breath. "I didn't mean that."

"I know. Go on."

"I'm not like him. It's not going to take me years to recover from this."

"Are you recovered now?"

Anakin opened his mouth, then shut it. _I want to lie. _ "No, but I don't need his help. His experience was completely different."

"Every situation is different," Reeft said, "but there are common truths. Obi-Wan might be able to help with those."

"He's more scared than I am. Talking won't do either of us any good."

Reeft leaned against the back of the couch. "Forgive me for disagreeing, but I think Obi-Wan would be the best Jedi to talk with, if only because he is as good a listener as Yoda, and less intimidating. Also, he's lived through this already- rape and all the emotions that come with it. No matter his past reactions, he's the only other Jedi who has suffered such an intimate attack."

Profoundly uncomfortable, Anakin stopped pacing with his back to Reeft. He stared at the teapot for a time, sighed, forced himself to face the couch. "I don't want to make him talk about it."

"He's a Jedi. He can manage to put his own pain- which is much less now than it was years ago, I'm sure- aside long enough to help you through yours."

Anakin's shoulders slumped. He made his way to the couch and looked down at Reeft. "I love him, but he can't help me. I'm supposed to help him. If I'm weak, I can't protect him."

"Anakin, Obi-Wan is-"

"He's hunted!" Anakin cried, not wanting to hear Reeft tell him how strong Obi-Wan was. His former master's strength had ceased to matter. "He's targeted! I won't let him die."

"Don't you think Obi-Wan, a Jedi master-"

""His abilities aren't in doubt. Not even to me, and I took the longest to see his strength. But everything is against him. Not just the Darkness. Sometimes I think the whole Force can't decide if he should be protected or destroyed. He needs me. Just like he needs all the rest of the Jedi. There's no time for him to help me. If I let go long enough to tell him, then something happens- a threat, a-"

"Do you think you're a machine that needs to be warmed up? Obi-Wan must have taught you how to bring certain events to the top of your mind, talk them out, then, if need be, cover them over with the peace of the Force until there's time to deal with them again. Do that day by day and what you feel will eventually be talked out." He sat forward, but made no move to stand. "Talk to him. Try."

With all his excuses ripped away, Anakin was left with only one secret reason: he didn't want Obi-Wan to see him as weak. He wanted Obi-Wan to worship him as he had Qui-Gon.

Unable to tell Reeft this and knowing, in his heart, that worship and love weren't the same, Anakin collected himself and said, "I'll go think about it." He started for the door.

"Tell him." Reeft stood, but stayed near the couch.

Anakin gave him a noncommittal shrug, thanked him for listening, and left.

He met Obi-Wan at the entrance to the Garden of Light. Obi-Wan had been about to enter, but he stopped when he saw Anakin.

_Why now? _Anakin's stomach knotted and he wondered if there was anything more to bring up.

Obi-Wan nodded to him. He didn't speak, and there was no way to read his expression.

"I want some time alone," the younger Jedi said.

Obi-Wan nodded again. "You're a knight now. I can't stop you."

"Obi-" He looked down. "Please don't be angry with me." Except Obi-Wan was looking far too calm. Even allowing for his skill with a mask- _How dare he put on his diplomat's face for me?_ "No, be angry. Be hurt. If you are."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. "Yes, I'm hurt. Force, Anakin, I'm hurt." His red, feather-light lashes drifted up, revealing green-blue pools of pain. He blinked and everything he felt was hidden once more. "But we cannot talk here. If you want, we'll go into the garden."

Anakin wanted to make Obi-Wan take the mask off. _But anything I say right now will lead to Adee. _"We'll talk. Just not today. I'll find you when I'm ready to talk." He fought an urge to reach out and touch Obi-Wan's arm. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Apology accepted." A chink formed in Obi-Wan's armor and sadness and regret shone in his eyes once more. "I love you," he whispered. Then he sighed, and the mask dropped into place for the final time. "Be careful, Anakin. Whatever you feel, don't let it destroy you, or even distract you. You have been named the Chosen One, and your greatest task just now is to follow the unction of the Force. Remember that, and remember I'll always be here for you."

In the face of such patronizing, Anakin sneered. The expression was conceived and formed on his lips in less than a breath. "I don't need your help! I can take care of myself." He heard the childish words, regretted them, moved on. Striving to make his face as expressionless as Obi-Wan's, he said, "I'll talk to you about Adee when I'm ready." He spun away and stalked down the corridor. He wanted Obi-Wan to call him back. He stopped at the corner, glanced back. Obi-Wan was looking after him.

Anakin stared at his old master for an eternity, then, when Obi-Wan's face failed to change, the knight walked away.

oOo

"Force, help me," Obi-Wan whispered.

It was going on two months since Anakin broke their deep bond and struck out on his own. In that time, Anakin had gone on several missions alone, and though he'd returned from each success with greater skills, he still avoided Obi-Wan.

Abandoning all Jedi decorum (not needed, truly, since he was alone in his quarters) Obi-Wan wracked a hand through his hair. He'd let the red and grey mass get too long.

He'd been on his own missions; of course he had. He'd become General Kenobi, as he'd been told he would, and though the military position meant he could still lead his own missions, something he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to give up, he detested the battles he'd already been forced to fight. Nothing had been gained except planets. No lives could be saved by war.

"Force," he whispered again, "please."

But he had no real pleas. The Force flowed through him and around him, strengthening him, protecting him. He knew that what he would really ask the Force for wasn't possible. He wanted Anakin back. In his life. In his quarters.

"This isn't the way I thought I'd find out how much I love him." He sighed and ran that distracted hand through his hair once again. He wasn't expected to be anywhere until a little after sunrise and so, unable to sleep, he'd risen in the night to meditate. Meditation had given way to pacing, and he'd only just forced himself to stop such a fruitless waste of energy.

By all accounts, Anakin was just as miserable. Reeft reported that Anakin barely spoke to anyone when he was at Temple, and though he stayed at Temple as little as possible, he still always seemed to be in a hurry to leave it again. Obi-Wan was too experienced to miss the signs. He'd done the same when he was separated from Qui-Gon. Even if Anakin didn't love him, their parting was just as bitter.

"And what will I do if he doesn't love me?" A pointless question, since he couldn't imagine what to do, and since that reality might never come true. Still, he longed to chew on it. Only his Jedi training stopped him. He knew he would only end up more depressed if he should chase that type of question.

"Depressed." He snorted. "Lost is more like it." Obi-Wan lowered his head into his hands and closed his eyes. Tentatively, he brushed over the place where their bond had been. The scabs, if there could be such a thing in such a bond, were gone. He no longer got dizzy if he stood up too quickly and he'd stopped calling out for Anakin during the night. At least, he thought he had, because he'd stopped doing so in his dreams.

Sometimes he wondered if he was allowing himself to think too much about Anakin when his energies could be better served in the cause of the Republic. Possibly, but he doubted it. He relegated thoughts of his former padawan to those times when he had absolutely nothing else to distract him.

"And that's most likely why I didn't sleep last night," he muttered. "As soon as I get a chance to think on him, to try and decide, for the thousandth time, if I should approach him before he sends for me, I steal all available time from other pursuits: sleeping, eating, cutting this mop-" he shook his bangs out of his eyes- "or talking with my friends." Bant and Reeft were trying to help him, but there wasn't much they could do after listening to him lay out his problem. They weren't sure how to advise him, and he knew that, no matter what their advice, the final decision must be his own.

On the other hand, he had enjoyed talking with them the one time (less than ten minutes) he had a chance. About a month ago, this was, and Bant had been glowing with both Nela's new knighthood (Obi-Wan regretted that he had been off commanding a battalion, and so unable to participate) and with the deepening relationship between herself and Reeft. They were taking it slow, but with the Council's new order, they weren't hiding their feelings. (Yes, Bant had long harbored desire for her fellow Jedi, but she had been more discreet, so that no one had imagined how she felt.)

Frowning deeply, Obi-Wan rose, entered his room and laid out the robes he would wear that day. He had been sitting, pacing and half-ranting in his midnight-blue sleepwear; it was time to get ready for his day. With the robe laid out, he headed to the 'fresher.

He closed his eyes while the 'fresher did its work. He didn't want to see how empty the little bathroom was. When Anakin had resided there, the sink had always been crowded with this or that grooming product. Nothing excessive, but Anakin managed to make the standard-issue comb, toothbrush, paste and so on take up ten times more room than it needed to. Obi-Wan had relegated his own products to the cabinet above the sink to keep them from getting lost or confused. Now the counter around the sink was empty.

He sighed, shifted positions. The common room was equally sparse. Anakin had come to clean everything of his out while Obi-Wan was in a meeting with the Council, discussing his first solo mission. (_Yes, _he thought, _truly my first. I was never alone when Qui-Gon and I worked together, and then I became Anakin's master._ He tried not to feel too lonely.) Obi-Wan had returned to their quarters to find that they were now only his quarters. Everything of Anakin's was gone. He hadn't left so much as a single sock behind.

Clean now, he left the bathroom. When Anakin had lived with him, he would have bothered to put on a robe. Now he walked, naked, to his room and donned his tunic and the rest, wishing he had to be careful like that again.

"That settles it," he said as he worked his feet into the boots he wore. "I talk to myself, I miss him more every day and this isn't going to get better if I leave well enough alone." There was still the question if he should insist Anakin talk about Adee, but he ignored that question, vowing that he would just ask Anakin to come back. They didn't have to reestablish the bond (though he missed it) and he didn't have to tell Anakin he loved him. Right now, all that mattered was seeing Anakin, talking to him, and convincing him to move back in.

Obi-Wan was conscious that he'd never had thoughts like this before, and for a moment, he was concerned that they weren't the thoughts of a Jedi, but when he reached out to the Force, he found that his connection to It wasn't at all blocked, and that his emotions weren't heaving or tossing, but solid. Only temporary feelings of nervousness and anticipation haunted his steps, and those he could dismiss with a thought if events changed and he wasn't able to speak to Anakin. But for now, he used those emotions as the tool they were. Under their influence, he wouldn't allow things to continue as they had been.

He left his quarters. Anakin was at Temple; he'd arrived the night before. Obi-Wan had been given this information by Ryn-yn, who empathized, but seemed to believe Obi-Wan's concern for Anakin was a hold-over from their years of working so closely together.

Gareth, also, had been keeping an eye on Anakin, informing Obi-Wan when the knight was at Temple. He'd made his report a mere minute after Ryn-yn finished his. And in Gareth's case, the amount of knowledge he held about Obi-Wan and Anakin seemed greater. He took it upon himself to tell Obi-Wan where Anakin had gone when he returned to Temple (usually to his quarters) and if he'd spoken to anyone. Obi-Wan felt slightly guilty for receiving these reports gratefully, but he couldn't deny that gratitude, and didn't bother to try. Let Gareth and Ryn-yn form their own conclusions.

A disturbance in the Force, distant, yet familiar, called to him, and he turned towards it. The disturbance swelled like a bubble in his heart, and he thought, _Anakin. _Seeing no alternative (the Force was fairly groaning around him) he broke into an un-Jedi-like sprint.

He met no one in the hallways. He wondered if anyone else felt the disturbance, but sensed that it was a private summons. This had happened before, where he was the one the Force called, though usually it had occurred on missions with Qui-Gon, when he was called and, at first, his master was not. Such singling-out was rare, but not unheard of. Even Yoda had told him to obey these summons, though he should always take another Jedi with him if at all possible.

Well, now there seemed to be no one else. Obi-Wan burst through the main doors to the Temple and angled towards the Senate building. He would extend the bridge, spring across, then maybe the Force would tell him which part of the building housed this disturbance.

When he was still several meters away, he saw someone activate the temporary bridge. Even though he couldn't see the other well enough to know him, his heart told him who was even now waiting for the bridge to completely extend. He lifted his voice. "Anakin!"

The figure turned, glanced back at the bridge, then back at Obi-Wan. He waited.

Now he could see it was Anakin, and he put on an extra burst of speed. "Do you feel it?" he asked when he was close enough that he didn't have to shout. The two of them started towards the rotunda together.

"Yes." Anakin darted a look at him, then was staring straight ahead. "No one else seems to feel it."

"I know. It's a rare occurrence when the Force calls only one or two Jedi, but it's not unheard of. Master Yoda always said to obey Its call."

"And to have another Jedi with you when you do."

Obi-Wan's eyebrows shot up. "Have you talked to him about this?"

Anakin colored. "No. I…" He smothered a cough with one beautifully-made hand. "I used to break into your files and read your journal entries. I did that a lot when you were on Dagobah. I would ration them day by day, afraid I would have to wait until I was twenty before I would see you again. And I… read some of them when you were here. Back when I was fourteen." He bit his lip, then left off it. "Are you mad at me?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. Why should I be? There were times I wanted to read your journal, except you never kept one. I wanted to find something that would give me a key to how your mind worked. If you had a chance to find out about me, I would expect you to take it."

Anakin's skin was still flushed. "Did you ever search Qui-Gon's files?"

"No. I was too afraid he would catch me and I would be expelled from the Order." Obi-Wan pointed towards the nearest door. "We'll enter there." He slowed up just a little, and when Anakin did the same, he said, "Can we talk when this is over?"

Anakin didn't hesitate. "Yes. Please."

Together, they entered the building, turned left, and headed towards the Senate offices. Not all Senators had their offices here, but many did. Including the chancellor.

As they drew nearer to the source of the disturbance, they sensed another Jedi. Rounding a last corner, they spotted Ryn-yn crouching before a youngling.

_Annie, _Obi-Wan thought, and he slowed to a walk. Anakin did the same.

Ryn-yn glanced at them, then back at Annie. "Young one, why are you here?"

Obi-Wan had the feeling Ryn-yn had asked this question several times. He stood a little back from the duo, and noticed that Anakin had taken up his old position behind his ex-master's shoulder. In that simple gesture, Obi-Wan sensed Anakin's nervousness. There was no doubt this was where the Force had meant them to be, but he couldn't see why. Ryn-yn seemed to have the situation well in hand.

Annie glanced at Obi-Wan and Anakin, then she said, meeting Ryn-yn's gaze, "I was watching the Senators. There are so many different species. I wanted to see something besides the Temple walls."

_My that sounds like someone else I know, _Obi-Wan thought, but though he'd been worried about Anakin, he knew Annie needed even more sheltering than his padawan.

Ryn-yn said, "There will be time to see the outside world soon, but for now, you still have to remain within the Temple. The galaxy is too dangerous for you to go wandering alone."

She glanced at Obi-Wan again, and now she appealed directly to him, "I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just trying to find out why the Republic's arguing. I wanted to help."

A touching reason, yes, and Obi-Wan gave into it a little. "The way of peace should be the goal of every Jedi. But you can search for the information you need at Temple. You shouldn't be here alone. It isn't safe. Even if we weren't at war, you shouldn't be here." He crouched before her as Ryn-yn was doing. "The best you can do right now is to learn everything you can at Temple, from teachers, from other younglings, from anyone you talk to, and to seek the Force. The Force will show you how you're supposed to help in this war." He stood. "Master, are you headed back to Temple, or shall Anakin and I take her with us?"

Ryn-yn seemed to consider for a moment, then he said, "I'll escort her back. You two have much to discuss."

Obi-Wan watched Ryn-yn and Annie disappear around the corner. His voice low, he said, "Strange how the Force called us both here to deal with a runaway youngling."

Anakin shrugged. "Maybe we'll figure it out later." He started back towards the Temple, though at a slow pace. "Does everyone know you and I went our separate ways?"

"It's possible. Jedi are notoriously perceptive. But I've said nothing to anyone, except that you and I would be going on separate missions for a time. Ryn-yn, Gareth, Bant and Reeft have kept a close eye on you and I both, making sure we're both adjusting to the separation."

"Are you? Adjusting?"

"I'm learning to live with the situation, but I'd be lying if I said I liked living without you. And are you adjusting?"

Anakin scuffed his toe on the marblite floor. "It was different being on solo missions. I didn't have anyone to depend on. Even though I was on my own mission when I took Padme to Naboo, this wasn't the same." He flushed. "Mostly because I knew I couldn't just reach out and touch your mind. Well, I could, but it would be different, because we would have to form a temporary link instead of already having one established."

After a short silence, Obi-Wan said, "I miss you, Anakin. And I'm partly to blame for our parting. I shouldn't have tried to force you to discuss Adee. You're a knight now; that's not my place. I just know that whenever I didn't discuss what I went through, I had a disturbing tendency to either brood on the events or forget them entirely, which is perhaps worse. After Xanatos stepped into that pool on Telos, for instance, Qui-Gon had to tell me on three separate occasions that Xanatos was gone."

"But that proved not to be true. Don't you still feel like he's alive?"

"Yes."

"Then maybe it wasn't that you couldn't accept his death, but that you somehow knew, instinctively, that he would return. You decided to accept that he was dead to save your sanity, but you just knew he wasn't."

"You've grown, Anakin. Maybe this time apart wasn't all bad."

"Was it all bad for you?"

"I believe so, yes, but if it was good for you, then it was good for me." Then, shaking his head, "No, I suppose it wasn't all bad. I learned much about my own heart while you were away, and I had to learn to command battalions, something I would have found challenging if you and I were working together because I would still feel like your master, and so any connection I made with Captain Curly and the others would be muted."

"Do you still feel like my master?"

"Not so much. I suppose that's another positive. I feel- I want to feel- like your friend. More than a colleague."

"Like Reeft or Bant?"

"Yes, and maybe more."

Anakin blinked. "What do you mean?"

It was Obi-Wan who blushed now. He hadn't meant to say that out in the open. He wanted to be alone to make his confession. And still his fear for Anakin's state of mind held him back. "I'm afraid to say it. Can we talk alone, in case I make an ass of myself?"

Anakin blinked, then nodded.

They walked the rest of the way to Obi-Wan's quarters in silence. Here they sat on the couch, but only after Anakin made tea. He didn't feel like drinking it himself, but he wanted to make a peace offering. As he was pouring the tea, he saw that Obi-Wan had dried roosh petals in a small dish on the low table by the couch. The dinner table was bare, as if Obi-Wan never ate there. Anakin knew this was a foolish thought, since Obi-Wan was neat by nature, but he couldn't get the idea out of his head.

Crossing the room, he gave Obi-Wan a cup and saucer, then settled beside him on the couch with his own tea. He waited, unsure if he should try to speak, or if he should wait on Obi-Wan.

"I'm afraid to tell you," Obi-Wan began after sipping his tea, "because I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"How could I ever-?" Anakin shook his head, reining in his tongue.

"Because what I have to say has a bearing on what happened to you."

Anakin tensed, then forced himself to breathe. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I know, and I'm not going to force the issue, but I only wanted to tell you why I'm hesitating." He set his teacup and its saucer on the table, then turned to face Anakin. He paused, groaned, ran a hand through his hair.

Anakin wanted to speak. He'd never seen Obi-Wan so undone. Except, of course, while he was living in his grief. He grasped that flailing hand and held it in both of his. "Obi, please, understand that I'm not you. The rape bothered me- of course it did- but I'm not you."

"I know, but not to talk about it, not to anyone- Anakin, that's not healthy. He invaded-" He stopped.

Anakin was shocked to see tears in Obi-Wan's eyes. He whispered, "Obi…"

"I promised I wouldn't talk about Adee. But it's so hard." Obi-Wan pulled away from Anakin and actually hugged himself for a moment. "To me, rape is worse than death, worse than betrayal, worse, even, than the fall of the Republic. I can't imagine living with it so easily."

"It hasn't been easy. I just don't want to talk about it with you." Anakin felt suddenly trapped on the couch, and he stood, backing away from Obi-Wan one slow step at a time.

"But why not, Anakin? I love you! You say that, and you might as well burn a hole in my chest with your lightsaber." Obi-Wan, too, was on his feet. Those feelings of nervousness and anticipation lit a fire in his belly and charged his blood. "What is it? Don't you trust me? Do you think I would judge your reactions? Not even by my own, which might be stronger than yours, would I do that." He had cleared the little table and was closing in on Anakin. His hands were up as if he was trying to calm the younger man, but he kept moving forward. "This is ridiculous, Anakin. Talk to me. I've already told you how I feel, but it won't matter unless you can open up to me. We can't be close unless we are willing to talk, willing to take steps towards healing."

Anakin was backing up, but not as quickly as Obi-Wan was advancing.

"I've been taking my steps, Anakin. Now it's your turn. Or we can go back to the silence, the pain, the loneliness, if that's what you really want. But there's no middle ground. I want you to know that I will never hurt you, that I'll never take advantage of you as he did, but I need you know that I love you."

Anakin had his back against the wall to the left of the hallway. The balcony doors were only a few steps away, but he didn't seem to know where they were. If he had, surely he would have continued to retreat. His hands were up as Obi-Wan's were, but he seriously wanted Obi-Wan to keep his distance. "You've always loved me. If that's all you had to tell me-"

Obi-Wan took another step.

"Stay away!" Anakin pressed his back against the wall as if he could merge with the permacrete.

Obi-Wan did stop. "I love you," he said.

"I know, but that doesn't give the right to- Stay there!" he howled because Obi-Wan had taken two more steps. Now he was half a dozen steps away. "Damn it, stay away from me!"

"Why?" Obi-Wan took half a step back. "Why, Anakin? What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing! Adee's dead. I don't have anything to be afraid of."

"Except?"

"Except nothing."

"Yes, you accept nothing. Or little. I give you a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, an arm to support you, and you push me away." Obi-Wan's eyes flashed. "Anakin, I'm sick of you trying to stand on your own when you need help. There's no shame in needing help sometimes. No shame at all. And that you still think there is-"

"I don't! I've talked about everything else with Reeft, just not this because I didn't want him telling you. Has he told you any of what I've said?"

"Only that you come to talk to him sometimes, and that you came to talk after you broke the bond."

Anakin winced. He looked for accusation in Obi-Wan's tone, but found only clear-spoken truth. "He didn't say anything else?"

"No. I had a feeling that he was keeping some things from me, but since you told him in confidence, those things were none of my business unless you decided to make them so. But you didn't talk to even him about the rape, did you?"

"I don't want you to know how I feel!"

"Why?"

"Because you wouldn't idolize me." Anakin's eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth as if he really thought he could take the words back with that gesture. He flushed.

"Idolize you? What are you, a god? Anakin, I don't even idolize Yoda, not anymore. I did when I was a child, but as I grew, I realized that to idolize someone is to expect them to be perfect, to be capable of solving all the problems of the universe. No one can do that. Not even Yoda. So why would I ever idolize you? You are the Chosen One, and I admire you and I am proud of all the things you've done, but idolize? Worship? Never. That would imply I didn't know you well, because that's another part of idolizing someone. You put them on a pedestal so high that there's no way you could see what they're really like."

"But you idolized Qui-Gon. Loved him."

"There's a difference between worship and love. My love for him grew out of worship, but because I kept him on a pedestal in my mind, I was never able to love him as an adult. Up until the day we were parted, I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he's not perfect." _That he wasn't perfect. I have to be mindful of my words. Especially now._ He ventured a step forward, and this time Anakin didn't scream at him. "You don't want to tell me Adee hurt you because you think I wouldn't love you? Or is it only admiration and worship you want? Anakin, I can never give you those things."

"Because I'm not good enough for you."

Obi-Wan ran that hand through his hair again. "No, because I know you. Haven't you listened to anything I've said? Don't answer that." He turned from Anakin a quarter turn, offering a less intimidating aspect. "Just because you're a knight doesn't mean you should stop learning. And part of learning is knowing yourself. That's a lesson you can never outgrow." He bowed his head, and his hands disappeared into the sleeves of his earth-dark robe. "And you can't just wall up one part of your mind, one memory. If you continually bury an experience-"

"Experience! It was a violation!"

"If you continually bury a violation, do you think it will die?" He shook his head. "It will rise, again and again, and each time it reemerges, it will be stronger, until you can't predict when it will come out, or until you can't force it back down."

"So I'm supposed to continually relive it, like you do?"

Obi-Wan groaned. "Don't judge me so harshly, Anakin. I will freely admit that I didn't deal with my own suffering well enough, but I have learned-"

"'Your suffering'? You make it sound like it was your fault! And maybe ber'Nac was your fault, but-"

Obi-Wan spun to face Anakin, then fairly leapt across the space between them. Before Anakin could protest, Obi-Wan pinned him to the wall with a combination of strength and the Force. The master rose on the balls of his feet and kissed Anakin full on the mouth. It lasted two or three heartbeats, then Obi-Wan pulled back. "Was that your fault? I assaulted your mouth, and you didn't have time to react. Was it still your fault? No." He settled back onto his heels, but he still held Anakin, though with a gentle Force- and hand-grip that the younger Jedi could have easily broken. "Neither was Adee's attack your fault. Just like Xanatos's attack wasn't my fault. ber'Nac's, to a certain extent, I encouraged, but he was more responsible for the attacks than I because he initiated them. I am not guilty of letting him rape me. I'm guilty of not calling for help once I knew what he had planned. The assault was his own."

Anakin gaped at him. At first, he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't even think. But as his mind at last caught up with not only Obi-Wan's words, but that startling kiss, he asked, "You love me?" Obi-Wan had said that so many times before, and the younger Jedi had been so used to hearing it as 'I love you, my friend' that the emotion behind Obi-Wan's words hadn't registered until now.

"As in romantic love? Yes."

Anakin was conscious of only one thing just then: he wanted Obi-Wan to kiss him again. But unable to articulate this (he found he was having to concentrate very hard on simply remaining on his feet) he simply stared at the man before him.

"Do you see now why I couldn't say anything?" Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment, and when he at last looked at Anakin again, his gaze was troubled. He'd been gripping Anakin's arms; now he moved his hands to Anakin's chest.

Anakin's heart beat fast and loud. He was sure Obi-Wan could feel it, and maybe he could hear it as well. Again, he was overwhelmed by the need to resume that kiss. But Obi-Wan didn't seem inclined to do more than talk! Couldn't he feel the electricity between them?

"It takes two whole people to make a relationship work. I might depend on you for some things, and you depend on me for others, but in the end, we could each survive alone, though we are less when we're apart."

Then he leaned forward and fulfilled Anakin's need. His lips, when they met Anakin's, were open and the heat of his mouth made Anakin dizzy.

But again he drew back! "I will wait for you. Because right now, you're still keeping yourself hidden from me. Everything else between us might be new, but I know all about unequal relationships, and I will not enter another. You have my profession of love: it's up to you to do something with it." And he stepped away, releasing Anakin.

Anakin's jaw dropped. He couldn't seem to make either it or his tongue work.

Obi-Wan sighed, and now all the pain he'd been feeling was clear in his eyes. "Why did you break the bond?"

Anakin swallowed. "I didn't want you to know, and I was about to tell you. I had to distract you."

Obi-Wan nodded, sighed again. "I'm going for a walk. You're welcome to stay here as long as you want." He turned for the door, then glanced back. "Understand: I don't want to drive you away. I love you. But I won't put love ahead of my duty to the Force, and that's what would happen if we were to get together right now." He left.

Anakin slid to the floor until he crouched with his back flat against the wall. He stared after Obi-Wan, and he touched his lips with trembling fingers. Hs lips still tingled from Obi-Wan's kiss. _Force, _he thought, _what have I been missing? _That tight, frightened place inside him where Adee had rested so close began to open like a roosh.

Then he shook himself and leapt up, heading for the door. Obi-Wan was right outside. He could have everything he wanted. Obi-Wan wanted him. What did facing a little pain matter? (His nerves quaked at this thought, but Anakin ignored them.) He would talk to Obi-Wan and-

_Unless he's not ready for me to come out so soon. Maybe he thinks I'm supposed to think about this for awhile. _He was standing in the middle of Obi-Wan's quarters now, his head bowed as he tried to work out what he should do.

_He'll want more than my confession about Adee. He'll want me to say that I don't need to worship him. Why did I ever think I wanted what he gave Qui-Gon? _But he couldn't berate himself; it had looked, from the outside, as though Obi-Wan was devoted to Qui-Gon. Anakin wanted that sort of devotion, but he confused its source, assuming it was true love that pushed Obi-Wan. And even if it had been true love between Qui-Gon and the red-haired master, it had also been worship, as Obi-Wan had said, and probably other things, too.

_Do I have to figure out everything he felt for Qui-Gon before I can speak to him?_ His heart sank. _How can I figure that out?_

A moment of silence, then Anakin laughed. It was a loud, free sound, and he nearly doubled over with the strength of it.

"Obi's never been one to make conditions unless he feels he has no choice. He stated the one condition- my telling him about Adee, and thereby freeing myself- and no others. If he meant more, he would have said more."

Still laughing at himself, Anakin sprinted for the door. He burst through it, then, in the corridor, stopped again. _Which way did he go? _He reached out with his feelings, and almost at once, he sensed that bright concentration of Force that was Obi-Wan. He also sensed emotions. Obi-Wan's shields were down. It was almost as though he was broadcasting his feelings of joy mixed with hope.

Anakin took off after the man who could, very possibly, be his lover in a few minutes.

oOo

Darth Calus had made sure his communicator was broken. He'd done everything he could to make sure Sidious couldn't interrupt him. Strictly speaking, he was on a mission for his master, but just now, there was something, _someone,_ more important. In a darkening galaxy, amidst the crumbling blocks of a corrupt Republic, Obi-Wan Kenobi shone like sun on snow, like moonlight on water. His connection to the Light Force touched everyone around him, yes, but it wasn't really the Light Force Calus cared about. So he kept telling himself. The brightness of this Jedi lay in his eyes and in the beauty of his movements.

He had followed Obi-Wan on six missions, keeping himself hidden as well as he could in the sea of angry feelings that surrounded the Jedi whenever he first arrived on a planet. How had he followed the Jedi, known where he was going? Simple. He had an informant. She didn't know she was helping _him, _of course. She thought he was Darth Sidious. He'd disguised his voice effortlessly. If his master discovered what he was doing, there would be hell to pay, but Calus was more than willing to take the chance. He contacted Annie Jinn-Kenobi whenever he felt like it, and he paid her more attention than his master did. He cultivated a sort of trust between them that he thought Sidious could never manage. Yes, Sidious would find out when he at last contacted the girl again and she guilelessly betrayed that another had been speaking to her, but he wouldn't think about the consequences until he faced them.

For awhile, he'd had his little game. Following Obi-Wan was fun. No other way to put it. He liked spying on Obi-Wan, and he liked the feelings he got when he watched Obi-Wan work. True, he could never stay long enough to see Obi-Wan work all his peace-magic, because then he would have been detected, but he always got to see Obi-Wan lay the groundwork. That would have to be enough until he could take Obi-Wan to himself. But each time he saw the Jedi, he knew his time wasn't now. Something beyond intuition and beyond the Dark Force told him, and even though he didn't know its source, he obeyed.

Each of the six missions had been filled with pleasant memories, though he longed to see Obi-Wan in something besides the robes he always wore. These hid the clean lines of Obi-Wan's body, lines he hadn't seen since the boy was thirteen. But the loss of those lines was almost made up for by the warmth and life in Obi-Wan's resonant speech. He touched hearts everywhere he went, and those that refused to be touched were so few and far between that Calus began to think Obi-Wan, if he was only given enough time, could undo all of Sidious's plans.

This idea didn't particularly excite or worry him. He was in this for himself, not for his master. The only reason he had to hope for Sidious's plan lay in this: if Sidious took over the galaxy, Obi-Wan would have very few places to go. Calus could offer his arms as a sheltering place. And, since he'd do almost anything to have Obi-Wan with him, he would offer this idea to the Jedi:_ come with me, be mine, and I'll help you talk people into fighting against Sidious. I'll help you save the galaxy. _Obi-Wan, in his compassion, wouldn't be able to resist. He would come to Calus at first only to help save innocents, but he would stay for the pleasure Calus could give him.

As soon as he'd gotten close enough to see Obi-Wan's jewel-eyes, he'd noticed the grey in the man's hair. The silver strands woven among the red didn't put him off in the least. Looking at that grey, though, reminded him of Obi-Wan's mortality, and his heart ached. He must get to Obi-Wan before anyone- including Sidious- killed him.

Now, back in one of Sidious's lairs that was being shared by some Separatists, Calus vowed that he would have the beautiful Jedi at his side for all eternity. No one would come between him and what he longed for.

He blinked. _Longed for?_ _I don't long for anyone. I just want him to belong to me. That's all. _When his heart sang a different tune, he ignored it. He wanted Obi-Wan beside him always, and he would do anything to have that, but saying he longed for Obi-Wan was to give the wrong impression. The word implied that he would feel incomplete without Obi-Wan, and he was most certainly his own person.

oOo

_Qui-Gon, alive?_

Dooku's eyes snapped open and he sat up. His heart raced, and he spent several minutes in an old Jedi trick, centering himself. When he could trust himself not to jump around like a hyper Gungan, he got dressed. As he slipped into his trousers and tunic, he knew Qui-Gon was alive. He'd dreamed as much last night, and when he'd woken, he'd been afraid to believe it, but now it was a certainty. How Qui-Gon could have hidden all this time was a mystery, but Dooku was so filled with relief that he couldn't pretend he didn't want to see his former padawan immediately.

He would leave immediately. Any orders from his new master would have to wait. He had to find Qui-Gon. The possibility that Qui-Gon could be bought to the Dark Side still lived in Dooku's heart, but he forgot that idea in light of simply seeing and talking with Qui-Gon.

He started for his ship at once. It was an elegant craft so unlike many of those flown by the members of the Separatist movement and Republic alike. It might be recognizable to Qui-Gon a long way off, though the younger man had never seen it before, simply because he was perceptive that way. He might sense Dooku coming long before he arrived. Well, and hadn't Dooku taught him to be so conscious of all things? He could hardly fault Qui-Gon now. So he planned to take the ship, simply because to do otherwise would make it seen as if he was trying to hide himself from Qui-Gon.

But when he was near to the ship, a voice shouted, "Wait. You're not going alone."

Dooku turned, masking a sigh. Here was his rival for Sidious's power and attention: Darth Calus. He stood at the bottom of the ramp and watched the clone approach. He'd often thought of the justice in the universe, that he, Qui-Gon's master and Xanatos, Qui-Gon's first padawan, had both come to serve the Dark Side. Surely Qui-Gon, along with his upstart padawan, Kenobi, and maybe even the upstart of all upstarts, Skywalker, was also meant to serve the Darkness. Such a thing would have the grace of a well-turned poetic verse, and though Dooku had long ago ceased to believe that the universe held any justice, he believed it could be made to do so through the work of the Darkness.

Calus was now standing with him. "Where are you disappearing off to so fast? I felt you wake up all the way from my own rooms."

Should he tell? Perhaps, if only so that Calus wouldn't run off to their master. "Qui-Gon Jinn still lives. I'm going to track him down and kill him." That last phrase wasn't true, but when it came time to let Qui-Gon make his decisions, Dooku planned for Calus to be long gone. It didn't matter if Calus had to follow him at first; he would find a way to either distract the other Sith or, if necessary, kill _him_. Nothing mattered more in the world just then than that he should see Qui-Gon and speak with him.

Calus's eyes widened, and for a moment an emotion Dooku took for hesitation or even fear flew across his finely-chiseled features, but then it was gone and he said, "Let's go." He even led the way on to the ship so that Dooku doubted what he'd seen.


	40. Many Ways Home

Author's Note: I'm reposting this because I left a correction from my beta reader in here. To those that it frustrated, I apologize, and to the rest of you who didn't mention it, thank you!

Estel Baggins

Many Ways Home

Half a month before Obi-Wan confronted Anakin, Qui-Gon found himself on Bandomeer, a world seeded by the AgriCorps. He'd been drawn here after leaving S'ban's home, and had subsisted among the people as a helpful, slightly-crazy stranger.

Prior to reaching Bandomeer, the disguised Jedi had made a tour of worlds. He sensed he was heading for one planet in particular, but he couldn't guess which. There were many jump-off points from Bandomeer, though nearest planets were in the Ragoon system. That he was so near to where Jedi had been coming for centuries to test their strength, that he was close to a place where he and Obi-Wan had grown and where Annie had been born, didn't escape him. Still, he didn't bother to meditate on it. His heart was, despite his best efforts, taken up with thoughts of Obi-Wan. Though the edge of his pain had been smoothed, he still wondered how Obi-Wan was and if they would ever see each other again.

_And if we do, will I be able to tell him how I feel without blaming him for healing? _He was almost sure he could manage this, if only because the Force seemed stronger inside him after his brief argument with it than it had in all the years he'd been away learning to talk with it and set his own feelings aside.

_Is that how it always is: the Force grows within us when we clear out more room for it to do so? _He smiled to himself. Of such words were Yoda's lessons made.

Qui-Gon passed through one of the markets on Bandomeer, conscious that he was doing little more than killing time. He was going to meet someone soon, and when he did, he would accomplish steps along his path that would have more to do with saving others than healing himself. He didn't chasten himself; he'd obviously needed the two months of beating time. He still missed Obi-Wan, but he'd had about two weeks of peaceful wakenings and restful nights not filled with nightmares of what he'd lost. When he met Obi-Wan, he sensed that, with the help of the Force, all would be well between them. And in the meantime, he would undertake any mission the Force gave him.

oOo

He hadn't meant to sleep. When he'd walked away from Anakin, he'd meant to go meditate or walk or just sit somewhere in silence and stillness. But, instead, he'd found his way to Bant's quarters. She admitted him and gave him her room to sleep in. She locked the doors behind him, both the door to her room and the door to her quarters. Around him, everything was peaceful. Nela had been gone for weeks, and though Bant and Reeft were closer and closer each day, he wasn't there, either. Bant had promised to wait in the common room, to guard his sleep. He sensed she wouldn't really be guarding him from danger, but from interruptions that wouldn't allow him to learn the lesson he must. Would he hear from the Force? Would he dream the answers to questions he didn't even realize plagued him? Obi-Wan didn't know, but he gave himself over to any possibility, sensing that this, at least, was Force-sent. He lay on top of her blanket, closed his eyes, breathed once, twice, and was asleep.

He stood in his quarters, but before he and Anakin had brought their own personalities to it. Reminders of Qui-Gon were everywhere: plants in their small planters, tiny and large prints on the walls that depicted different people that had been in Qui-Gon's life. Except there were many more of these than Obi-Wan remembered. He went to one of these and saw himself in Qui-Gon's arms. An impossible picture, since they'd never dared to have their love framed in this way. He reached up to touch it, and suddenly there were strong arms around him, drawing him back to a broad chest he'd fallen asleep against so many times. He bit his lip as the tears started and turned in the older man's arms. "Qui-Gon…" he whispered. His voice shook, and the tears came faster.

_I've made this decision, _he thought. _And the Force has made it for me, for us. _But he couldn't stop crying. No matter how calm and together he'd sounded the night he talked to Qui-Gon in his dreams and they'd been forced to pursue their separate paths, he couldn't quite let go of the love he'd had for so many years.

_So many. No, only eight, and that's counting the four years we were apart. Four years, really. _But he couldn't make the pain less by minimizing the time.

"Qui-Gon," he said again. "It's not really you, is it?"

The older man leaned down and kissed Obi-Wan full on the mouth. "Yes and no. Think of me as an echo of the man you knew." He let go of Obi-Wan with one arm, and the younger Jedi whimpered a complaint. Qui-Gon, or this figment of Obi-Wan's imagination, guided him to the couch. Here he settled Obi-Wan on the couch, then stepped back.

Obi-Wan gazed helplessly up at this man he so desperately wanted and needed and missed. "I didn't mean to turn to Anakin. I love you, only you."

The vision shook his head and shrugged out of his outer robe. "Obi mine-"

Obi-Wan began to cry harder, and he resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. He needed to fill his senses with Qui-Gon's presence, even if this wasn't really Qui-Gon. This was as close as he was going to get.

"Obi mine, you love Anakin. If you didn't, you never would have kissed him. You'd be the last man to put on emotions you didn't feel." Qui-Gon knelt before the couch, drawing Obi-Wan forward and kissing him again. "Think of this as a last chance to set in stone all the things that were good about your relationship with Qui-Gon." He pushed the robe off Obi-Wan's shoulders. It pooled around the younger man. Again, the vision of Qui-Gon was kissing him.

They made slow, sweet love there on the couch, then wild and passionate love on the floor. Obi-Wan clung to Qui-Gon as he came the second time, but the name that flew to his lips was: "Anakin!"

The vision of Qui-Gon chuckled. "Yes, that's how it should be." He kissed Obi-Wan as the younger man calmed. "Good-bye, Obi-Wan. You'll see Qui-Gon again when you least expect it." He laughed. "I've always wanted to say that: when you least expect it. As if those words really mean something." One final time, he kissed Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan wrapped his arms tight around the vision on top of him. "I love you, Qui-Gon. Not as I loved you before, but I still love you."

"I doubt it not, Padawan mine."

The room faded, and Obi-Wan woke up. He blinked, then realized Anakin was waiting in the next room. He could sense the other man without their connection. He rose and went to the door of Bant's room. He breathed in, drawing to himself all the wonderful feelings the dream had given him, then let them go. He touched the locking mechanism.

But a wave of Force overwhelmed him, and he passed out, crumbling to the floor, kept from hurting himself by the same Force that dragged him down into unconsciousness and allowed him to see his former lover for real. He remained unconscious for several hours, long enough to frighten those that found him collapsed behind Bant's door, but Yoda comforted them, saying that Obi-Wan was only journeying with the Force, and that he would return wiser and more at peace.

oOo

The Force woke Qui-Gon early one morning. In minutes, he was up, dressed and headed for the spaceport where he kept his ship. Strictly speaking, it wasn't his ship, but he'd talked a friend into lending it to him. The being who had done so had no idea that he was aiding a Jedi, but Qui-Gon hadn't lost any of his old magic, so the deal went off with little more than a hitch. Qui-Gon hadn't even used the power of Force-suggestion all that much. He'd found more and more reasons to believe something he'd learned at Temple: most beings could tell a good person from a bad one, and with the help of the Force, a Jedi could be almost guaranteed to find the right person they needed at just the right moment. He'd known this truth for over half his lifetime, but finding new examples only reassured him of the rightness of the path he'd chosen.

He engaged the hyperdrive and sprang into the streaking stars. But as he headed towards the Ragoon system, following the call that fairly sang in his blood, he realized that he wasn't alone in the ship. He glanced back, not fearfully. The presence was comforting.

He was the only living being in the ship. He closed his eyes and reached out with his feelings. He sensed another Jedi, and his heart instantly wanted it to be Obi-Wan, but he couldn't know for sure. The other Jedi was shielded, though he sensed this might be as much the Force's doing as something the Jedi had planned.

Accepting that he couldn't know who was with him, but knowing that he was safe, Qui-Gon turned his eyes on his instruments. He smiled when he realized that he was already coming out of hyperspace and headed for Ragoon 6. _Well, I've learned and experienced so much here. It seems right I should be here again._

In his mind, that presence uttered an agreeing chuckle.

As he entered the atmosphere and started looking for the place he was supposed to land, he saw, through the ship's canopy, the beautiful ridge of mountains he, Obi-Wan and Anakin had hiked over during those difficult months after Annie was born. All of Ragoon 6 was decorated with such ranges, but Qui-Gon knew this one, even from the air. It had an echo in his heart and an echo in the Force. He decided to land there.

When he found a flat place to land between two peaks, he brought the ship in. There wasn't a soul around, but Qui-Gon had faith that whoever he was going to meet would show up.

As soon as he strode down the ramp and his boots touched familiar soil, he forgot completely about whoever he was supposed to meet. Another echo lived here, one that fairly poisoned the air. The echo was gone in the Living Force, but through the Unifying Force, which preserves feelings like footprints in clay, he knew something Dark had walked here. It was only a little thing, and after all this time, the sense of it was almost gone. But to have survived for years (he sensed the Darkness had been present somewhere between five and ten years ago) it must have been powerful indeed.

_I don't even need to guess. That wave that attacked Obi-Wan while he gave birth is almost surely the source._

Except it wasn't. Something _organic_ had made this impression.

"Annie," he whispered, and the Force pulsed with that name. _But she isn't Dark! _he wanted to cry. _She's only a child! She was a baby while she was here! What kind of Darkness could live inside an infant? _He closed his eyes and reached out to everything around him, seeking proof that it wasn't his daughter he sensed. _Because even if she wasn't of my blood, she is my daughter. _

_Yes, _whispered a voice he couldn't identify as inside or outside himself, _Annie Jinn-Kenobi is your daughter._

Qui-Gon opened his eyes and walked a few paces from the ship. He would sit here, on this poisoned ground, and wait for whoever was to come. Trying to talk to anyone here might not be wise, he thought, but he was tied to this land as he had never been tied to his home world, or even to the Temple. Settling himself, he was overwhelmed with a need to contact Obi-Wan and tell him to watch out for their daughter, but the Force forestalled him. He was told, in no uncertain terms, that Obi-Wan was well.

oOo

He woke up, conscious that he was closely surrounded by several Jedi and that he lay on a couch in quarters that were not his own. _Well, at least they didn't take me to the infirmary, _Obi-Wan thought. He opened his eyes and did his best to smile at the worried faces above him. Anakin was there, sitting right beside his head. Yoda, Bant and Reeft were there as well, and with them were Nela and Ferus. "Everything's all right," Obi-Wan said. "The Force just needed to show me some things." Even now he couldn't tell them Qui-Gon was still alive. He wished that time would come soon, but he wasn't even tempted to hope for the time when he'd thought Qui-Gon dead.

_And what should I do about Annie? _He would speak to her teachers, yes, and to any others she talked with on a regular basis. He would learn her mind and find a way to keep Qui-Gon's worries from coming true.

"Share with us can you?" Yoda asked.

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, then he said, "No, Master." Best not to add any explanation; he would only become entangled. "Not yet, anyway."

"Are you all right?" Anakin asked.

Turning his gaze on his former padawan, Obi-Wan resisted the urge to pull Anakin down for a kiss. "Yes," he said, and his voice was unconsciously soft, like a lover's caress, "yes, I'm all right now." He glanced at Bant. "Thank you for letting me stay here. I didn't know I would do more than sleep for a few minutes."

"You've been unconscious for two hours," she told him. "I heard you fall. So did Anakin. He came here looking for you, and I wasn't going to let him in until you emerged, except…" She shook her head. "You frightened us, Obi-Wan."

"I'm sorry," he answered, watching Reeft put a hand on her shoulder. "If I'd known I was going to collapse, I wouldn't have gotten out of bed. But after receiving the one dream the Force sent me, I thought I was done." Feeling Anakin's eyes on him, he said to the others, "Forgive me, but Anakin and I need to talk." He started to rise, and at once Anakin's arm was around his shoulders, helping him to his feet. _Whatever Adee's actions did to you, they haven't made it so you're afraid of touch. _Comforted by this, Obi-Wan allowed Anakin to help him.

When he had risen, Yoda said, "Leave you to talk we will." He started for the door. But before he reached it, he glanced over his shoulder. "Next time you are going to receive a message from the Force, young Master Obi-Wan, try to be lying down." With that, he left Bant's quarters.

Next to go were Nela and Ferus, though they both seemed to be waiting for something. They were studying Obi-Wan's face intently. Finally, Ferus mustered his courage and said, "You're glowing, Master Obi-Wan. Not very brightly, but only a little."

"The Force left a mark," Obi-Wan murmured and he nodded, more to himself than to them. "I saw the same on Anakin's face when he dreamed in the Force." To the knights, he said, "It's nothing to worry about. It will fade in time."

Nela and Ferus went out.

Reeft shook his head. "I'd thank you not to scare us again." He came to Obi-Wan and touched the man's shoulder. Then he gestured towards the door. "I'm assuming you'll leave Bant and myself alone?"

Obi-Wan smiled, then chuckled openly when Bant blushed. "Yes, we're leaving." He didn't shrug off Anakin's arm, though he didn't truly need the support, and the two of them went to the door. Obi-Wan glanced back once, and saw that Bant and Reeft were sitting close together on the couch.

Out in the hall, Anakin said, "I think I'm ready to talk."

"That didn't take long," Obi-Wan teased. Then he held his breath, waiting to see if Anakin would lash out at him. With Anakin, sarcasm was risky.

"You did something very convincing," Anakin answered, and his eyes shone.

_Ah. _"Where shall we talk?"

"My temporary quarters are closer."

"Temporary?"

"I think, after this, I'll want to move back in. I've had just about all the time alone I can take." He started that way, keeping his arm tight around Obi-Wan.

The older man allowed this, but his mind had leapt forward to what they must now discuss, and he prayed only that Anakin would let everything go. _I don't ask that you feel all the pain again, but only that you open yourself up to this chance at healing._

They entered Anakin's quarters (Obi-Wan had forced himself not to look up their location before this) and the master saw all the things Anakin had taken from their quarters dumped in a pile on the floor by the couch.

Anakin followed Obi-Wan's gaze and blushed. "I just didn't see the reason to put everything in order." He relaxed his hold on Obi-Wan, but only a little. He couldn't bring himself to step away.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Everyone keeps their quarters according to their personal tastes of the time."

"Your personal taste was always neat."

"Not true. Until I turned fourteen, I was a bit of a slob."

"What happened?"

_If this isn't a segue to what must come next, I don't know what is. _"Xanatos happened. After he raped me, I dedicated myself to proving that I wasn't a child, if not in my connection to the Force, then at least in the way I took care of myself. I dealt with the invasion by thinking there was something wrong with me, and that I could protect myself by changing myself." He glanced at Anakin, and found the younger man watching him. "Not exactly healthy, but it was something I did unconsciously for years. By the time I figured out what I was doing and why, I'd become accustomed to having clean rooms." He smiled ever so slightly. "And I like not having to hunt for things." He moved out of Anakin's embrace and took the younger man's hands. "Please come sit with me and talk to me."

Anakin nodded and they made their way to couch. Here they sat, angled slightly towards each other. Obi-Wan kept Anakin's hands in his. "I don't know really where to begin," he said. "I guess this would be the most pertinent question: do you feel about me as I feel about you?"

Anakin chuckled. "You make it sound so clinical." He drew Obi-Wan closer and kissed him. His movements weren't as sure as Obi-Wan's had been, but only because he hadn't had years of practice. He managed all right, and when Obi-Wan opened his mouth, offering the sweet recesses within, Anakin took full advantage of this. His one hand drifted up to cradle the back of Obi-Wan's head, and he leaned further into the kiss until Obi-Wan was resting against the back of the couch with Anakin hovering over him.

After a time too short for Anakin's tastes (and Obi-Wan's as well, if he hadn't been aware of his duty) the master pushed the knight back so he could speak. "I'm glad," he said, and the light dancing in his eyes confirmed the dry words. "But you still must heal before we can continue any further. And I don't just mean before you get into my robes."

Anakin's jaw dropped and he blushed fierce red. "Obi!"

The master laughed helplessly. Aware that Anakin was glaring at him, he reined in his mirth after less than a minute. "You see? I want to be free with you. Emotionally as well as physically."

"Did you joke with Qui-Gon? Did you make… that kind… of suggestion?"

"Occasionally, though I wasn't quite so skilled."

"Forgive me, but since when is being blunt a skill?"

"The skill lies in knowing when plain speaking will reach a desired event better than dissembling. You blushed, didn't you? I shocked you?"

"I didn't know you even thought like that. I saw you as a sexual being-" his cheeks reddened again- "but I didn't know all that entailed."

"That's all right; you're not expected to know." He sighed. "But as I am a master at one skill, you are the master of another: obfuscation."

"What's that?"

"What does it sound like?"

Anakin made a rude noise. "I thought I was past lessons on vocabulary and parts of speech."

Obi-Wan folded his arms and tried to look forbidding. "What does it sound like?"

"Obscure?"

Obi-Wan grinned. "Yes! Specifically, 'to obscure or confuse'. Every time we get close to talking about what must be discussed, you turn the conversation in another direction."

"I don't think I do it consciously."

"And maybe you don't, but you do it regularly. You've done so since I first met you. I don't begrudge it in the least when it provides me with endless teaching and learning moments, but now we've stalled long enough."

"What if I'm not ready to talk?"

Obi-Wan groaned.

"Just kidding!" Anakin pulled at Obi-Wan's hands until the master uncrossed his arms. The knight squeezed the beautiful hands. "I don't know how to start."

"Fair enough. Choose a launch point: the event itself, in chronological order, or your reaction to it afterwards, or any confusion you have about it."

"What confusion? He raped me. He was a sadistic bastard that cared only about sexual pleasure."

Obi-Wan didn't comment. "Go on."

Anakin hesitated, started twice, backtracked, and at last said, "Zee helped him. The Jedi who was supposed to be my master helped hurt me." His hands shook and he clutched them.

"Mind my fingers if you will," Obi-Wan said, moving closer to Anakin so that their knees touched. He began massaging the tense hands in his.

"The only way it would have been worse is if I'd actually gotten to know Zee, but he kept himself more tightly guarded than Qui-Gon." He stopped, swallowed. "Force, if I'd been close to him like I am with you- or only half of what I am with you- I couldn't have- He betrayed me! He fed me to the damn wolves!" He shuddered. "It's like he was doing the raping. Adee's dead- Force be thanked- but Zee's not. What if he comes for me again? I know, I _know_ he can't get out of the detention cells here, but what if he does? ber'Nac escaped; why not Zee, who is much more accomplished?"

He didn't want answers to his question, at least not yet. Obi-Wan waited.

"Or if he came after you?" Anakin gripped Obi-Wan's hands hard again, then eased up on his own. "I'm afraid he'd hurt me, but if all the Dark things out there are after you, and they're convinced rape will break you- Shit, Obi, I don't think I could save you if he attacked. Not because he's stronger than me- and I don't even think he really is, just that I was in shock- but because I'd be too afraid to face him." He winced, tried to cover his face with his hands, but Obi-Wan prevented him. The young man started to cry. "I know that's cowardly, but you said you wanted the truth, and that's the truth."

"Keep going. We'll talk about everything once it's out."

"Why? Won't it be harder to talk about everything all at once?"

"No. Only by having everything out in the open will you and I both know how everything connects. Keep going."

"It scared me that he was so strong, and that he'd been hiding right on the Council. I was afraid that there might be more threats here." He paused, waited for Obi-Wan to respond, and then, seeing that he would have to go on, did so. "It hurt. Not like anything I've ever felt before. Was he burning me with Dark Force?"

"That's what the medical records showed, yes."

"You checked the medical records?"

"It was one of the first things I did my first night back. While you slept, I checked the records to know exactly what had happened, in case you started having difficulties. That can happen, especially when the Dark Force is involved."

"What sort of difficulties?"

Obi-Wan tried to make his words sound gentle, but they couldn't be softened. "In terms of an attack by the Dark Force, you might feel a loss of energy, strength or willpower."

"Did you have-?" He stopped. "Of course you did."

Obi-Wan nodded. "In a very real sense, the difficulties I faced after ber'Nac were due as much to the remnants of Dark Force that had stayed in my body to cause damage as the Force wanting to teach me something. You didn't have any difficulties, though, and I think that was mostly due to your strong connection to the Force." He rubbed that hand through his hair again. "I was so afraid for you at first; I was glad when we lay down together that first night so I could make sure you were safe." He paused, breathed in, then said, "Speak on. Please."

Anakin didn't think he could make himself talk anymore, but finally he managed, "When I woke up- No, not yet. First, when he raped me, I thought…" He shivered. "I was afraid I'd be pregnant. I didn't want…" He looked away.

"Odds are men of your race can't have children," Obi-Wan said. "But if you want, we can do the research." He said gently, "And there's no shame in not wanting to have a child, especially not one who's father raped you."

"Have you ever looked at Annie and seen ber'Nac?"

"She looks nothing like him, and I've spent so little time around her that, no, I never felt that way. But while I was pregnant and knew, in my heart, that he'd put the child inside me… Well, Anakin, why do you think I was so determined to believe any child was Qui-Gon's?" He started to touch his hair again, but Anakin caught his hand.

"You're going to make that into an unconscious gesture," the knight said. He brought Obi-Wan's hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles one at a time. "I'm sorry to make you think about ber'Nac."

"I'm sorry I have to make you think about Adee."

"It will get better. I'll stop being afraid. Right?"

"Right. The amount of time your healing takes depends on you: on how much we talk, on how your mind heals best. And your fear of Zee will pass in time as well. Whenever you're afraid, come to me and I'll comfort you." He freed his hands and touched Anakin's cheek with gentle fingers. He kissed Anakin softly, then drew back. "Go on."

Anakin sighed, but he found the right words at once. "When I woke up, Reeft held me and made me feel safer. But I was so disappointed it wasn't you." He shook his head. "Most of what I've been feeling since you came back were outgrowths of that. I've been avoiding you because I was at first afraid that you wouldn't want me so soon after Qui-Gon's death, then I was afraid I'd have to tell you everything. It… It isn't as bad as I thought it wasn't going to be. Zee and Adee don't just appear because I'm talking about them." He flushed. "I told Reeft how much I love you. He encouraged me to tell you, but I couldn't, as I said. Even before… the rape… Force, is that ever going to be easy to say?"

"Not easy, but you'll come to a place where it doesn't rip you apart to speak the words. I promise you will."

Anakin nodded. "Even before that, I didn't want to tell you because I was embarrassed. I made up… pretend things… about us."

"'Made up pretend things,'" Obi-Wan chuckled. "An interesting phrase. Redundant, too."

"Shut up!" Anakin swatted his arm, then blushed. A tiny smile turned up the corners of his mouth. "Do you want to hear them?"

"Only if you want to share them with me. Everyone dawdles in dreams from time to time, and most of the time they'll cause no damage. I'll say this much: if you tell me one of yours, I'll tell you one of mine if you want."

"Is it… about me?"

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Yes."

"I used to come into our quarters and clean. Dust and stuff. I would pretend I was preparing for your return home, and that we would… celebrate your return." His skin was colored so red that he thought he must resemble a setting sun on Tatooine.

"Ah." Obi-Wan's grin wasn't at all mocking. "I had no less than ten dreams about you. Most of them started with you and I sitting somewhere together and talking about loving each other, then, usually we made love." He shook his head. "I felt guilty about the dreams at first, but when I stopped dreaming of Qui-Gon and when the dreams of you only grew in intensity, I started to think maybe it was all right that I dreamed such things. I wasn't sure, for quite awhile, if I should say anything to you, but I began to accept the dreams as a pleasant, if confusing and occasionally upsetting, interruption of dreamless sleep."

"'Pleasant and upsetting'?" Anakin teased.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "That's you all over, young one." He chuckled at Anakin's eyebrow. "All right, I won't call you that any longer. Old habits die hard."

"You stopped calling me 'padawan mine' pretty quickly."

"That's something I'm conscious of all the time. I don't want to insult you. You're definitely grown up."

Anakin closed his eyes for a moment. He said, "I don't think I have anything else to tell you. I'm afraid of Zee still, and if I ever see him, I might try to hide behind you. But that's it. The Darkness is growing, and if there is danger still in the Temple- I know there is- this home was never declared to be completely safe. And I'm past the time when I should be seeking safety first."

"You can still seek safety, but in the context of what the Force dictates."

The knight nodded, his eyes still closed. "And I'm afraid of what I'll have to do as the Chosen One. I'm still afraid I'm going to lose you, but this-" he touched Obi-Wan's hand- "makes any fear worth it." He opened his eyes. "I might have nightmares. I did the first few nights after I woke in the medical center, but stopped having them when I started repressing all this." He groaned softly. "I can't believe I held it in for so long. It feels huge now. Enormous."

"It is. And don't wonder at your ability to hide something from yourself: that's how many people survive all the terrible things in the galaxy. The Jedi have a greater challenge than many because if we let things fester, our connection to those around us and to the Force suffers. And as for the nightmares, well I'll be right beside you at night now, and I'll be there to comfort you."

Anakin bit his lip. "Are you angry with me that I wanted you to worship me?"

"No. That desire was spawned by an emotional soup you were barely aware of, let alone able to control."

"Soup? Made of what, exactly?"

"Oh, a great combination of things. An adolescent's desire to be admired, a young, sexually-minded man's need to be dominant in some way over that which he loves. And more. You've never seen a couple together except for Qui-Gon and myself, and we were hardly the perfect couple. As much as we loved each other, the power struggle between us was always obvious. You couldn't help but model that." He grinned and impulsively threw his arms about Anakin's neck and kissed him passionately. His tongue invaded Anakin's mouth with little in the way of gentleness, reserve or any of the other traits that usually made up his personality. When he drew back, that grin hadn't faded. "But for now, unless there are other things you want to know, I must confess a need for something besides talk. The demons of our past won't disappear because we're in love, and the galaxy will still call for us and need our help, and you're still the Chosen One, but just now I want you to myself as I'm sure Mace and Yoda have… enjoyed each other's company in the past."

Anakin blushed, but then he laughed. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that talking about your lover's parents doing _that_ isn't the best way to get what you want?" But he drew Obi-Wan close.

They kissed, a sweet yielding of lips, their mouths open, tongues dancing slow, then fast, then slow again. Anakin thought maybe he was supposed to take the lead- all those fantasies- but he soon discovered that while Obi-Wan didn't mind this in the slightest, the older Jedi was just as likely to take charge. Which, the knight had to admit, was a good thing, because he didn't know what to do from one moment to the next. His body wanted to jump right to those things he'd dreamed about after cleaning their quarters, but the slow pace Obi-Wan set wasn't at all unpleasant. He was introduced to new sensations every few moments, and he groaned again and again into Obi-Wan's open mouth.

They slowly rolled off the couch, landing with Anakin on top, but Obi-Wan still dictating much of what they did. He slowed Anakin's movements time and again, and though Anakin was gradually increasing the pace, he wasn't allowed to skip any steps. He undid Obi-Wan's robe, pushing it off the older man's shoulders, then started in on the tunic below it.

Abruptly, Anakin's muscles froze. He stared down at Obi-Wan. His arms were locked in place so that he couldn't raise or lower himself. _Obi! _Then he realized their bond hadn't been put back. He reached out, touching Obi-Wan's mind.

Obi-Wan smiled. "In a moment. First, I need to lock the door. And it would be best if we had some protection." He moved his hand, and Anakin's muscles were released.

The knight fell on top of his former master.

"Oof!"

Anakin pushed himself off. "Sorry. I guess I was fighting the hold you had on me."

"You could have fought it with the Force." Obi-Wan got up.

"True, but I didn't think about that. Besides, the look on your face just now…" Anakin snickered. "Seeing that was worth it."

The master was headed for the door, but he turned and faced his lover. "Anakin, I've had creatures dropped on me before, including a baby nekatrix, which is about five times your weight, but I'll never get used to things falling on me." He turned with his hand on the locking mechanism. "Maybe we should go to our quarters. There isn't anything we can use here to make sure I don't get pregnant." He moved back to Anakin, putting his hands on the young man's shoulders. "And as much as I want to someday carry your child, Anakin, I don't think now is the best time."

Warmed from head to toe, Anakin wrapped his arms tight around Obi-Wan and drew him into a kiss. When they parted, he said, "I take it back. You know exactly what to say so you'll get what you want."

"Do you mean the protection or the-"

Anakin silenced him with another breath-stealing kiss. This time when they drew back, he said, "Let's get my stuff back, then we can stay in our quarters tonight. That's the best place for… anything we're planning to do."

This they did, having to make only one trip. They used the Force liberally to help them move everything. And, when they were back in their quarters, Obi-Wan asked Anakin to put things back where they'd been. Anakin did this while Obi-Wan made a light meal. They were both conscious of a hunger besides sexual desire. He made only light fare, but it would be enough. As he said to Anakin, "I don't want us encumbered by full bellies, just freed from empty ones."

And so Anakin went to his room and put everything back in its proper place, though he couldn't shake the thought that this room would only become where his clothes were stored, not where he slept. They could have slept in either room, but Obi-Wan's bed was slightly wider. It would make more sense to sleep there. As he was lining up his three pairs of boots in the closet, the Force suddenly cried out, and he dropped the boot in his hand. He rushed from the room, barely giving the door time to open and get out of his way.

He charged into the kitchen. Obi-Wan lay there, surrounded by the shards of a shattered bowl. Anakin scooped up all the shards with the Force and tossed them into one corner. He fumbled for his communicator as he fell to his knees at Obi-Wan's side. "Not again," he whispered. Then, "Please, Force, stop taking him, or at least wait until he's sitting down. You sent me dreams when I was already asleep. Why can't you wait with him?"

No answer.

Finding his communicator, he called first for medics and then for Yoda.

oOo

The presence that had been in his mind as he landed and first stepped out onto the soil of Ragoon 6 had disappeared, and didn't reappear for nearly two hours. But when it did, Qui-Gon wasn't surprised. As he waited for whomever he was meant to speak with, he meditated. And thus he felt the approach of this other long before he arrived. Reaching out, wondering if he was meant to know this Jedi's identity, he asked, _Who are you?_

_Hello, Qui-Gon._

The mental voice was hesitant, and Qui-Gon cursed himself for how he'd acted the last time they met. _Hello, Obi-Wan. _He tried to put all the warmth he felt into those two words. _Are you here to help me with whoever's arriving?_

_I don't know. Last thing I knew, I was making lunch for Anakin and I. _A short pause. _He's a knight now. _And a longer pause, during which Qui-Gon sensed the younger master wrestling with himself. _Qui-Gon, I've been afraid to tell you things before, but I need your permission now more than your approval. I've fallen in love again. I know we only separated a short while ago, and I have no excuse for my lack of fidelity._

Qui-Gon wondered if he should be offended or hurt. He felt a dim need for Obi-Wan, but apparently those two months of 'beating time' had been more than that. His hurt feelings were healing, and any anger he might have felt had been replaced by understanding. _You've moved on. That's all right. I've moved on as well, though I think the Force may be my only lover for a while, maybe for the rest of my life._

Obi-Wan was silent.

_Who's the lucky man?_

…_Anakin._

Qui-Gon wasn't sure what to say to that. He sensed the Force's approval, and yet he held his own doubts very near. Trying to set these aside, he sent, _Does he love you?_

_Yes._

_Is he grown up enough to love you? I don't want you making the mistakes I did._

Pain rushed down the link between them. _I never thought of our time together as a mistake. It wasn't meant to be forever and always, but it wasn't a mistake._

Qui-Gon's heart ached and he reached out, wrapping his arms tightly around Obi-Wan. _I didn't mean it was a mistake to fall in love. It was only a mistake to get involved when both of us still had so much growing to do._

_Relationships are meant for growth, _Obi-Wan answered. _Without growth, there is no life. Maybe you and I could have continued to grow together, if the Force hadn't had other plans. But our growing is a mark for us, not against us. Anakin and I are both still growing. We'll continue to do so until the day we die._

Qui-Gon tried to soothe Obi-Wan's hurt feelings with gentle thoughts. _I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to._

Obi-Wan released his pain into the Force. _I know. I'm being childish._

_Not really. You came looking for permission and I began an ill-thought-out interrogation. _He kissed Obi-Wan's cheek in the metaphysical world. _You have my permission and my blessing. The Force approves of your union, but even if it didn't, I would. I can see he's making you happy, and that you have grown strong both with him and on your own._

Obi-Wan's relief was obvious. _Qui-Gon- _He stopped. _Do you hear-?_

_Looks like my contact's arriving. Stay with me if you can, I may need your help._

_I'll be here as long as the Force allows it._

Qui-Gon stood. He'd settled himself a short distance from his ship. Another ship was landing by his. Staying in the shadow of the trees, Qui-Gon watched as the engines cut off and the ramp began to descend.

_May the Force be with you,_ Obi-Wan sent.

_And with you._

oOo

Dooku stepped off the ramp and surveyed the landscape. He could sense Qui-Gon somewhere near, and of course he saw the Jedi's ship. That's why he'd chosen to land here.

Behind him, still in the doorway of the ship, Darth Calus said, "I have something more important to do. You can surely kill this Jedi on your own." And without another word, he closed the ramp. He scarcely gave Dooku time to vacate the area before he fired the engines and took off.

Dooku stared after him, but then decided he was wasting time being frustrated with the other Sith. In the end, Sidious would see that he, Tyranus, was the better apprentice, and Calus would be disposed of. Until then, Qui-Gon waited.

He felt an uneasy thrill run through him from the nape of his neck down his spine. Now why should that be? True, he was here to fight a Jedi surely stronger than Obi-Wan, but he couldn't be as powerful as Yoda, so why the concern?

As Dooku looked around, peering at the groves that surrounded the clearing where he stood, his stomach shrank and he knew only that he must be on his guard. Qui-Gon might be his former student, but there their connection ended. Qui-Gon had chosen a different path from his master many long years ago.

oOo

The Dark Force rippled around Xanatos like a loose cloak caught in a stiff breeze. Disliking the sensation intensely, the clone headed for the atmosphere and the safety of space beyond. _Everything's all right, _he thought. _Tyranus can fend for himself. He doesn't need me to defeat one Jedi._

Well, maybe Tyranus would have needed him to defeat Qui-Gon Jinn, but wasn't the Sith cardinal rule self-preservation? Maybe this was just proof that there shouldn't be more than two Siths at once.

Safely beyond the atmosphere, Xanatos tried to breathe. But his breath was stolen as a vision overwhelmed his senses. Before him, as if he were still on the planet, he saw Qui-Gon. The Jedi walked towards him with his hands open and out, an offering, and his face shining like a sun, too bright to look at fully. Xanatos hide his face in his hands.

_Come back, _Qui-Gon whispered. _Let the Force help you, Padawan._

Xanatos shook his head violently, then, seeing that his computer was ready for the jump to hyperspace, he made the jump. He was conscious of only a panicked animal's need to get away. And though he convinced himself that this was his own irrational fear, the Dark Force was in upheaval, filled with the need to get Xanatos away from the Jedi.

oOo

"Hello, Master."

Dooku's hand dropped to his lightsaber hilt, and he cursed himself for being so obviously surprised. Asserting his will over his emotions, he said, "Qui-Gon. It's good to see the rumors of your death were exaggerated. What brings you here?"

"The same that brought you: the Force."

"Only your presence drew me here."

Qui-Gon smiled. "So, again, because I was drawn here by the Force, you were also drawn." He stood with his feet wide apart and his hands hanging at his sides. He looked completely relaxed and composed, as though he knew ahead of time all that would be said and all that would be done during this meeting.

Galled by this seeming complacency and arrogance, Dooku said, "I raped your padawan."

"I know," Qui-Gon answered. "He forgives you and wants you to come to the Light Side."

"And what do you want?" Dooku wanted to snatch those words back; asking a question, any question when he wasn't completely sure of the outcome, put power into the hands of his enemy. _But this is Qui-Gon. He isn't my enemy. _He swallowed that thought. Qui-Gon certainly wasn't his ally, so what else could he be but an enemy? Except no one was this pleased to see his enemies.

"I want to talk."

"Not to bring me back to the Light Side?" The defensiveness in his own voice was frightening. Dooku vowed not to speak again. If Qui-Gon wanted to talk, let him talk.

"Maybe, in time, but right now, all I want to do is talk." Qui-Gon spread his arms. "Will you join with me, sit with me for a little time?"

Dooku's heart raced. How could Qui-Gon think of inviting him to simply talk? The Jedi had to be planning something. Dooku freed his lightsaber from its place at his side. He leapt at the younger man, praying Qui-Gon would draw his lightsaber before it was too late.

He wasn't disappointed. Qui-Gon drew and ignited his lightsaber. Bringing the weapon to bear with a fast, upward arc, he easily blocked Dooku's first attack. "I wish only to talk. This is wasting time."

"I thought Jedi had all the time in the world to work on problems." Dooku made a cut at Qui-Gon's head.

The Jedi master caught the stroke on his blade and nearly sent the saber flying from Dooku's hand. "Yes, perhaps that is so. But just now, I'm aware that we have less time than we once did. Surely the Sith will not wait forever. You may be called away at any time, Lord Tyranus."

Dooku's eyebrows shot up despite his best effort. "How do you know who I am?"

"The Force." Qui-Gon took a step back, holding his lightsaber ready. "We should talk. Let's stop this foolish game. It is beyond both of us. We are evenly matched. You didn't come here for a test of skills, but to find the answer to a riddle: how can I still be alive when all believe me dead. Isn't that true? And with that question are these smaller concerns. How was I hidden? How did I survive Xanatos's attack, for surely you've heard how he left me to die with multiple fatal injuries and not enough air to breathe. I will answer those questions and more, if only you'll give me a chance."

"It is I who is giving you a chance, Padawan. Leave the Jedi and join with me. If you leave the corrupt Republic, you will live. If you refuse, you will die."

"I will never leave the Jedi."

"And you expect me to leave my Master?"

"I considered you too old for a master. Someone to talk to, yes, like Yoda, but not a master." Qui-Gon deactivated his lightsaber. "Let's talk."

Dooku gathered the Dark Force around him like the insolating blanket it was, and unleashed a stream of Force lightning. He didn't want to hurt his former padawan, but he couldn't listen to this nonsense a moment longer.

Qui-Gon's lightsaber was activated again and he caught all the lightning on his weapon, just as Obi-Wan had.

Dooku snarled and sent another stream, stronger than the first, strong as the one he'd sent against Yoda.

Qui-Gon was shoved back two steps, but then he stood firm, absorbing the power into his weapon. "This is foolish. All you must do is listen. Is the Darkness so afraid of its ultimate flaw that it doesn't even dare to listen to a few words?"

Dooku had stopped sending the lightning. What was the use? He could see Qui-Gon's power. He didn't even bother throwing things at the younger man. Qui-Gon was so filled with the Force that he practically glowed. Only a true duel could decide this standoff. Dooku said, "I am sorry, my old friend. I had hoped not to kill you. I hoped you would either stay dead or have the sense to hide until all the contests have been decided. Now your death will only be one of the first." He brought his lightsaber to bear and stood ready. He would judge the best way to attack by how Qui-Gon came at him.

Qui-Gon held his lightsaber loosely in one hand. It was only half-raised. "The Force has already called you back, but allow me to say it again: come home. You will not be killed or destroyed. You will be helped, healed, and set on the Light path. Everything you have ever sought in the depths of your heart will be given you."

Dooku resisted the mad urge to put his hands over his ears. Instead, he charged, bringing his lightsaber down in an honest desire to cleave Qui-Gon in two. _Anything_ to stop the words.

This stroke was parried, and so were the next five. Qui-Gon barely even moved his feet. He continued to talk while they battled, though sometimes his words had to stop so he could counteract a particularly deadly stroke.

And as they fought on, his words began to have an effect. At first, Dooku could only think of Obi-Wan saying similar things, and how uncomfortable he'd felt listening to this padawan of his padawan go on and on about the Light Force, a path he'd left for good reasons, or what he considered to be good at the time. _No. Even now I know I made the right decision. The Sith gives me much more than the Jedi ever could._

"Like what?" Qui-Gon asked.

Dooku cursed and built up his shields.

"That won't do any good," Qui-Gon said. "The Force has given me a direct link to your mind. Tell me what you have found here that is so much better than the Jedi you grew up to become."

Dooku lunged with every intention of burning Qui-Gon's face off. Again he was blocked. "I was never a true Jedi. I had secret desires when I was a child. And nothing to do with raping others. I did that to serve my Master."

"And raping Obi-Wan made you feel uncomfortable. Because he spoke to you in the voice of the Force. Why not leave the Darkness that separates you from those you care about."

Dooku scowled. "I care for no one."

Qui-Gon laughed. "I don't believe that. But even if you don't, I miss you. I wish you were back at Temple. We could use your help now. You wouldn't be a faceless nobody in a Jedi robe. I know that's what you fear most: obscurity. Many Jedi live and die in obscurity, and it's all they could have wished. But you don't have to be like them. When I 'died', it was not in obscurity. More than Jedi missed me. Obi-Wan will be the same. So will Yoda. Join our ranks. Become one of us. I promise you will not disappear into the void beyond life without leaving much more than your name."

Dooku's attack was slowing.

"And because, in the Force, there will one day be balance, you will be remembered on the side of Light. True, Darkness might remember you, if there are any Siths left to do so. You will be assured that even if all Jedi died, you would be remembered by those you helped." He paused. "And there is a way to sustain yourself in the Force after death, but it is only attainable by someone who understands the link between the Living Force and Unifying Force."

Dooku lowered his lightsaber.

Qui-Gon plucked the weapon from the older man's nerveless fingers. The master sent both weapons a little distance away and let them lay there, side by side. He sat down in a meditative posture. "Come talk with me. Please, Master. I miss you."

Dooku stared down at his empty fingers for a long while, then he sat in front of Qui-Gon. "Consider this an experiment in listening."

Qui-Gon nodded and began to speak.


	41. Prophecy and Dream

Prophecy and Dreams

Anakin and Yoda sat beside the couch after the medics had left. Yoda had dismissed them almost at once, and he comforted Anakin, urging him to sit and wait.

At first, Anakin couldn't take his eyes from Obi-Wan. True, he hadn't had a chance to speak to Yoda since his Trials and Yoda's announcement, but that mattered little at present. He was able to release his frustration with the Force almost at once. But his concern for Obi-Wan wouldn't go, and wouldn't, for a time, allow him to think of anything else.

"Walking with him now you are," Yoda murmured, his quiet voice finding a way into Anakin's thoughts.

The knight realized that the master- _my parent; I can't believe it_- had been speaking for several minutes. With difficulty, he took his eyes from Obi-Wan, though he held the older man's hand. "Forgive me, Master. I wasn't listening."

"Sharing the same road you and Obi-Wan are now. Good it is to see. But carry him you must not. Walk on his own he can."

Would he always be accused of trying to protect Obi-Wan from the galaxy? True, half the time that's exactly what he was doing, but not now. Anakin said, "I'm just worried because he passed out, Master. And the medics could only say he would wake up in a while. How long will that take? I can't help it that I'm worried about him. Wouldn't you worry if Master Windu collapsed?"

"If assured me the Force did that his sleep natural was, then worry I would not. And reassured you have been, Anakin. Feel that you cannot?"

"I feel it, but I'd rather have him awake."

Yoda chuckled. "Understandable that is, but to be a Jedi is to put aside your own desires. Know this you do." He turned his eyes on Obi-Wan. "Glad I am that together you are."

Anakin blinked. They hadn't said anything to Yoda.

Another chuckle answered his shocked expression. "Obvious it is." Yoda reached out and touched Obi-Wan's side. He closed his eyes. "Speaking with him the Force is. And the message carry beyond us here should not." He took his hand from Obi-Wan and touched Anakin's arm. "Close your eyes. Reach out."

Anakin did. He felt at once that Yoda was building a shield around Obi-Wan's mind. Longing to know what Yoda was covering up, Anakin aided in the process. Only by doing this would he also be privy to what transpired behind the shield.

An image formed in both their minds. Anakin recognized the world at once. _Ragoon 6, _he thought. _Why-?_ But then the answer became clear. They were looking through the eyes of another Jedi. And not just any Jedi, but Qui-Gon. Anakin caught his breath.

Yoda thought, _Explains much this does. _He finished the shield, then drew back.

Anakin wanted to linger and know what Obi-Wan was doing talking to a man who was supposed to be dead, but Yoda tugged at his arm, and he retreated. Opening his eyes, he asked, "Master-?"

Yoda held up a hand. "Speak softly you must. And mention names or pertinent information you should not."

_Why?_ But Anakin pushed the question away. There were more important ones to ask. "Do you think Obi-Wan knows where he is and who he's with?"

"Doubtless. Time Obi-Wan has had to become comfortable with this truth." He smiled. "Relieved I am to know." And for a time, he said no more.

Anakin thought, _Qui-Gon's still alive? Then why doesn't Obi-Wan go back with him? Does Obi-Wan really want me? And if he doesn't, did he kiss me just to get me to tell? _Anger rose, and fear, and grief so strong Anakin thought he might be sick. He remembered what he'd said to Obi-Wan less than an hour ago: _Force, if I'd been close to him like I am with you- or only half of what I am with you- I couldn't have handled it. I would have killed myself. _He hadn't said all that, of course; he hadn't been able to. But now, alone in his mind, he admitted that if Obi-Wan ever betrayed him, he wouldn't be able to keep breathing. He'd find a quick way to kill himself. Blaster seemed best. A lightsaber was too noble a weapon. There was nothing noble about suicide. But he couldn't live without knowing Obi-Wan would be there for him, that Obi-Wan cared for him.

_He doesn't even have to love me. Except he does, because he already confessed as much. And if he lied…_

"Hmmmph. Think very little of Obi-Wan you do." Yoda's stick came down on Anakin's arm- whack!- and again on the side of the young knight's head. As Anakin groaned and rolled away a little, clutching those hurt places, Yoda followed him. "And broadcast your concerns you should not. If heard them Obi-Wan did, hurt he would be." He swung at Anakin again, and though the knight tried to move, he wasn't quick enough. The gimmer stick whacked him a good one in the stomach.

Anakin doubled over. "Master-" he gasped- "I didn't mean-"

"Meant it you did. Trust Obi-Wan at all you do not." Yoda hit Anakin on the back. "Disappointed I am. And my son you may be, but a son to me Obi-Wan has been for many years. Allow him to be abused I will not." Another smack, this time on Anakin's sitter as the knight scrambled away from the dangerous master on all fours. Yoda followed doggedly. "A chance I will give you to repent before beat you black and blue I do, but quick you must be. Have an excuse do you for thinking so poorly of Obi-Wan?" He gripped the gimmer stick in both hands, holding it like a lightsaber, but he didn't swing at Anakin again.

The knight stopped retreating when he was out of range of the stick. At first, he couldn't think of anything to say, but when Yoda took a step towards him, his tongue was loosened. "If he's still alive, why wouldn't Obi-Wan want to be with him? They were in love for so long!" Then he winced. Yoda had told him not to give out any facts that would lead to anyone guessing who they were talking about. "I'm sorry," he whispered miserably. "But I don't want to lose Obi now that I have him."

"Believe you do that Obi-Wan would lie to you?"

Anakin was silent for a moment, weighing the question in his mind. "No," he said at last. "I was just panicking. I've just finally gotten everything I've always wanted, and I was afraid it would be taken away." He looked down, ashamed. "I don't have an excuse, except that things were always taken away from me on Tatooine, and though I should have put that all behind me, this brought it all up again." He waited for Yoda to hit him, but instead, the master lowered his weapon and leaned on it.

"Hear this you must, and believe it you must: loves you Obi-Wan does. Evident that has been to me since your Trials. Betray you he never would. Impossible that is for him as for a rock to give birth to a bird."

Anakin wanted to speak at once, but that last sentence stopped him. He repeated it silently to himself twice, and when he did, he knew how stupid he was being. "But how could I not love him?" he asked, trusting Yoda to know what he meant, "How could Obi-Wan not love Qui-Gon after all they've been through and how long they've been together?"

"Hmmmph. Every answer I do not have. Speak to Obi-Wan about that you should. But not or many long days. Just now, trust is your word. Trust him you must, and ask you must not until the time is right. Right it will be someday, but that day far off is." He moved towards Anakin and touched his shoulder. "Loves you he does. Believe that do you?"

"Yes."

"Good. And love you I do. For many years, as a balm to my aching heart did I see Obi-Wan. Needed me he did almost as much as you did when left you on Tatooine I did. Even though eleven he was when born you were, still as a baby did I see him, and allowed myself to take comfort in his presence I did. Even since you have returned, detached myself from him I have not been able to. At first because afraid to know you I was, and then because loved him for so long I had that natural it had become." He settled himself in a meditative position, casting his gimmer stick a little way off.

Anakin crossed his legs. "Master Yoda, I feel uncomfortable thinking of you as my father. I'm sorry, but I don't remember you holding me when I was young. My first memories are of my- of Shmi."

"Call her your mother you still may. Your mother in all but blood she was. And ask you to call me 'father' I do not, nor papa, though perhaps that would suit me better, since gave birth to you I did."

Anakin thought of Obi-Wan's talk of having 'protection' while they made love. And though none of his dreams had dealt with the possibility that Obi-Wan would take him, he acknowledged that it might happen. Obi-Wan was glad to lead or follow. "Master, could I have children?"

Yoda was quiet for a moment, then he said, "Run a test we can later if concerned you are. But for now, perhaps use protection you should." He chuckled. "Strange it would be for you to carry Obi-Wan's child at the same time carrying yours he was." His eyes glowed. "Though glad I would be to have grandchildren. Thought that would never be I did."

With that question answered for the moment, Anakin turned to something that had occupied him during some nights as he tried to sleep. True, he'd mostly been distracted by thoughts of Obi-Wan, but occasionally he had wondered about Yoda's defiance of the Force.

"Proud of that defiance I am not. But shows it does that even I still growing am. No Jedi ever perfect is." He closed his eyes. "Loved you so much I did that allow you to enter the Jedi I could not. Ahleh died as a Jedi. Wanted that for another of my children I did not. And especially difficult it was for me to allow you to become a Jedi because of your strong Force connection. Knew I did, in my heart, that become the Chosen One you would. Never a doubt in my true heart was that question, even though doubted it out loud I did regularly." His eyes opened, and Anakin saw in them warmth and love. "When saw I did that connected you and Obi-Wan were, sang my heart did, even though it was also afraid. Mace's gift of the joining of different Jedi I do not have, but tell I could that Obi-Wan was meant to be near you always. Connected in the Force you will always be, even if separated in space you are. Connected your fates will always be."

Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan, then back at Yoda. "Does that mean that if he dies, I'll die?"

"Perhaps. Or mean it could that if dies he does, under greater attack you will come. Unclear the results of the connection are. And so also connected in a good way you could be. Perhaps as long as you are alive, die he cannot, or vice versa. Known the nature of the connection is not, and so try to fathom its nature you should not."

Anakin nodded. He was comforted, even if the connection meant something bad as well as something good. To know he was so linked to Obi-Wan gave him a sense that he and Obi-Wan were just where they were meant to be. He realized that he felt more confident about the future than he had in months, maybe even a year. Strange, and probably unjustified, but he enjoyed the feeling. He would tell Obi-Wan what Yoda said when his master awoke.

Turning his eyes on Yoda, he saw, as if for the first time, lines of care around the master's eyes, and he saw how truly old Yoda was. He didn't necessarily take in the master's weaknesses, but he saw that Yoda, too, had needs. _And I can fulfill one of those. _He reached out hesitantly, touching Yoda's hand.

Yoda blinked at him in mild surprise.

"Can I call you Papa? Would you mind?"

Yoda was quiet for a time, but Anakin saw the joy rising like the sun over a hill. Then Yoda said, "Like that very much I would."

They returned to Obi-Wan's side and sat side-by-side. And though Anakin's worry tried to build again and again as two hours slowly passed, each time he glanced at Yoda, his concern ebbed and disappeared, and he was able to give everything over to the Force.

oOo

Padme was aware first of the children she cradled in her arms, then of the white, antiseptic world around her. _I'm in a hospital, _she thought.

"We must decide now." Obi-Wan stepped closer to her. He held out his hands, and she passed one child to him. "I will take him to his family."

_I'm his family! _she wanted to cry. But in the face of his grief-lined face, and because she knew it would be safer, she only said, "His name is Luke."

Obi-Wan nodded as he hid the child within the folds of his cloak. He brought his hood up so that his face was cast in shadow. "You will see your son again, Padme. I promise." He looked down at the child. "And you will see your father and mother some day, little one." He turned and started away.

Padme looked down at the girl in her arms. How she knew which was a girl and which a boy, she wasn't sure. She moved the blanket a little and gazed into the eyes of her little one. This one, at least, would stay with her. But something about the child's face froze a smile on her lips. She could see some of herself in the tiny miracle, but the rest… She knew the Jedi to whom those features belonged.

Anakin. The baby fairly glowed with resemblance to him.

_But now that Anakin's dead… _She shivered and hugged the baby to her.

"Come," said a voice she vaguely recognized. "We should leave, too. The Stormtroopers will probably be here soon."

She nodded.

oOo

Padme sat up in bed. She was hugging herself, as if the baby were still in her arms. Glancing around, she saw that she was alone in her room. The silence around her attested to the fact that the rest of her family slept.

She lay back down and closed her eyes. She doubted sleep would come, but she had to try. Her heart had been telling her for weeks that she must soon head back to Coruscant and continue the fight against the corruption in the Senate.

"Anakin?" she whispered. "How can I be carrying Anakin's child?" Even if Anakin hadn't yet confessed his love to Obi-Wan- something she hoped had happened months ago- there was no way the two of them would get together.

And yet, the children had definitely been sired by Anakin.

Sighing, wondering why her heart was so sure, Padme breathed, "Luke. What was the girl's name?" It was foolish to think that she would ever see these children, that she and Anakin would ever make love to produce such beautiful miracles, but she felt compelled to believe the impossible.

oOo

Obi-Wan returned to the world of the waking with the knowledge that he hadn't heard a tenth of what Qui-Gon was going to say to Dooku. But he also knew that he was no longer needed. Qui-Gon was going to change Dooku's mind and bring him back to the Light. When that would happen remained to be seen. Obi-Wan had a feeling that Qui-Gon and Dooku would have to talk and spar for several days, maybe even many weeks before Dooku could let go of his connection to the Dark Force.

Reaching out to the Force as he opened his eyes, he became aware of a shield that covered his mind. He hadn't put the shield up, and for a moment he was afraid. Then, when he saw Yoda and Anakin sitting beside him, he recognized the shield as Yoda's creation. "Master?" he asked.

Anakin gripped his hand. "Are you all right?"

"Wished others to know of your connection the Force did not," Yoda said. Then he lowered his voice. "But know Anakin and I do. Alive Qui-Gon is."

Obi-Wan sought the Force, and knew that it was all right for these two to know the truth. "Yes." He squeezed Anakin's hand. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you."

"You were following the Force. I just wish it would quit making you pass out."

Obi-Wan smiled. To Yoda, he asked, "What will you do with this knowledge, Master?"

"Keep it to myself for now I will. And do the same you must, Anakin."

"I will, Master." Anakin blushed. "Papa."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "Did I miss something?"

"Talked we did while having a nap you were." Yoda chuckled as he stood. "Leave you two alone I will." He started for the door, but then glanced over his shoulder. "Great joy ahead for you lies."

Before Anakin or Obi-Wan could drag their jaws up so they could talk, the elderly master, chuckling, made good his escape.

oOo

They lay in bed together with Obi-Wan's head pillowed on Anakin's chest. The coupling had gone both as Anakin had expected, and yet not. He had indeed taken the dominant position, but most of the time he felt like Obi-Wan was in control. The master kept things slow until a certain point, and it was he who made sure they had protection. But when Obi-Wan surrendered the pace and gave in to the need growing in them both, his words, his gestures, his cries, were sweeter than Anakin had ever imagined.

Now, as they lay drowsing, Anakin reached up and trailed his fingers through Obi-Wan's hair. He savored the silky-soft strands, repeating the gesture again and again until Obi-Wan stilled his hand.

"If you enjoy my hair so much, perhaps we should dye your own."

"It's not the color, or even the softness." Anakin kissed Obi-Wan's brow. "It's you." He closed his eyes. "I can't believe I almost missed this."

"We both almost stopped this before it could start." Obi-Wan sighed, snuggled closer, his thigh resting across Anakin's own. "Force be thanked we have this time to ourselves." He yawned, muffling it with one hand. "I'll sleep well, I think." He laughed quietly. "I haven't been sleeping all that well since you left, you know. My training helped me to descend into sleep, but I could scarcely go past that layer of first sleep to the layers of dreaming and regeneration."

Anakin laughed. "Is there anything you don't know about? You know the stages of sleep, more languages than probably even Yoda, you cook better than anyone I've ever met, and we won't even talk about those traits where most Jedi are supposed to be proficient." He shook his head. "How could I ever think you were-"

Obi-Wan touched Anakin's lips. "Enough recriminations. Don't think of the mistakes we've both made. The path before us is sure: a dangerously-thin tightrope over a Darkness so great I can't see its end while the Jedi exist as they are now. We need to shed all our past mistakes, or we'll lose our balance."

Anakin urged Obi-Wan to turn on his side, and the knight did likewise so that they looked at each other. "You're sure the Jedi are going to fall?"

"To fall implies sins, or betrayals, and while some may do those things, most will simply lose their lives." He sighed. "But that we will be killed and scattered? Of that I have no doubt."

"Then what are we trying to do?" He knew the answer, but he was hoping it would do Obi-Wan good to say it.

"We're trying to save as many innocents as possible, and we are keeping the hope alive. Because the ultimate triumph of the Dark Side is not in the cards, either. Balance is the name of the game, and the game's only end. Of all those we'll lose in the interim…" His eyes darkened and he looked over Anakin's shoulder.

Anakin touched Obi-Wan's cheek until his lover looked at him once more. "Let it go. What comes will come." He kissed Obi-Wan. "My papa told me something before you woke up. He said your destiny and mine are linked. We can't know what that means, but I choose to take comfort from it." He kissed Obi-Wan again, lingering for a long moment until Obi-Wan relaxed against him. "I can't deny that I'm worried about losing you, but there's nothing I can do about it right now, so I'll enjoy our time now."

Obi-Wan smiled.

Anakin said, "I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and as long as I live, so will my love."

"If I outlive you, or you me, our love for each other will live on, as a memory and a celebration. Forgive me my sad thoughts."

"No, I don't forgive you. Forgive yourself."

Obi-Wan's eyebrows shot up. "Who taught you to be so wise?"

Anakin kissed Obi-Wan's fingers. "You, of course. I can't promise I'll always sound this together and focused, but I can promise to try. And you can't take complete credit for my words. The Force has done a lot."

"That I don't doubt."

"So? Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Forgive yourself."

Obi-Wan moved forward, pushing Anakin so that the knight rolled onto his back. Obi-Wan lay on top of his lover, kissed him, first softly, then more heatedly. As Anakin began to harden, Obi-Wan drew back. His eyes shone like those of a much younger man who hadn't seen so much death or loss. "Yes." He started to roll off.

Anakin grabbed him. "Where do you think you're going? I want you again."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Then come and take me. I'm calling you." He winked as a light flush colored his cheeks. He lay on his back, spreading his legs "Please, Anakin."

oOo

When Obi-Wan awoke later, it was to the knowledge that he had several overdue questions to ask Yoda. He sighed, glanced at the chronometer, saw it was a little before dinner, and rose. He did so carefully, not wanting to wake Anakin, but just as he slipped off the bed, Anakin's eyes opened.

The knight reached out, catching Obi-Wan's hand. "Where you going?"

"To talk to Yoda. Remember when I said I would talk to him about Zee months ago?" Obi-Wan shook his head. "I've had other things on my mind, I suppose, though that's really no excuse. And I also need to talk to him about Annie again. It's time she was given a master to watch over her."

Anakin sat up. "You're not volunteering, are you?"

"Well…"

Anakin swung his legs out of bed and caught Obi-Wan in a fierce hug. "Don't even think about it."

"I was only teasing, Pad-" Obi-Wan stopped.

Anakin drew back so that their eyes met, then kissed Obi-Wan. "She needs a master; I agree with you there. But it's not meant to be you."

That was true; Obi-Wan sensed it. Nodding, he said, "All right. I want so badly to know that she's safe, that she's being led in the right way." His gaze was turned inward. "I don't want to see her as I saw her in the visions. She deserves a life among the Jedi, as long as that will last, and she deserves the chance to find the peace the Force offers." He drew away from Anakin. "I must do this one alone, though I want you with me. Because I might be tempted to put this off even more unless I'm by myself." He met Anakin's gaze, needing Anakin to understand.

Anakin got out of bed. His naked body was beautiful in the dim light that came under the door from the hallway. He came to Obi-Wan, but didn't touch him. "Tell him everything you have to. Don't hold back. Time's running swiftly behind us." He blushed, muttered, "Hope you don't mind me stealing your phrase. I couldn't think of another way to say it."

"That's not my phrase. It came from your sister."

Anakin stared at him for a moment, then the connection was made. "Oh! Ahleh said that?"

"All the time. I was always hounded by a sense that I wasn't doing things fast enough, learning fast enough, but she would always tell me 'Time runs swiftly behind all of us, Obi-Wan. The best you can do is be aware of time, but only as it relates to the amount of practice you've put into something, and not the amount of skill you've achieved during this hour or that. The Force expects no more or less of you than you serve it, and you do that by being conscious of time as a companion, not an enemy.' And so, though time is running swiftly behind us, and the Darkness comes ever closer, we aren't to take the passage of time as a threat but as a companion whereby we measure how much we grow each day." He took Anakin's face between his hands and kissed his lover. "Which is to say that I won't neglect to share anything with him because the day may come when I won't get to fill in all the holes."

Anakin nodded as Obi-Wan stepped back. "I'll be here when you get back. I'm going to go flying, then I'll make dinner. We never did eat whatever it was you were making."

Obi-Wan snagged his underthings and began to dress. "If you'll check the bowls, you'll find the makings for Taubela Stew. Do you remember how to mix them?"

"Yes." He was sitting on the edge of their bed, not quite ready to dress yet and lose even a moment of watching Obi-Wan don clothes. He smiled as Obi-Wan drew trousers up his legs. Anakin envied the cloth, then grinned at himself. "Don't' worry; I won't ruin your half-prepared masterpiece. Though I have to say that you did much of the ruining yourself when you dropped that bowl on the floor."

Obi-Wan laughed as he shrugged into his tunic. "True enough. I'll clean up the mess when I-"

"Already taken care of. I needed to get all those shards off the floor. I didn't want you to cut yourself."

Obi-Wan turned to his lover, and his gaze warmed Anakin's heart. "Thank you."

Anakin wanted to ask, "For what?" but Obi-Wan had turned away so he could slip his arms into his over tunic, and the knight was aware that he wanted to keep Obi-Wan here a little longer and a little longer still. He'd even thought, in the back of his mind, that Obi-Wan could wait until tomorrow to talk to Yoda. But he gave up the thought, knowing that he was being selfish. All he said was, "I love you."

Obi-Wan had started out of the room, but he stopped, glanced over his shoulder, and said, "I love you, Anakin Skywalker. Now and always." He left, the door closing with a soft _whoosh_ behind him.

Only when he was sure that Obi-Wan was gone did Anakin get dressed. And as he settled his feet into boots (a Jedi needed always to be ready to move; who knew when he would be called?) he said, "Thank you, Force, for binding us together." He made the Jedi sign of promise. "As long as I draw breath, I will serve you in gratitude for the lover you have given me."

oOo

Obi-Wan confessed all: his fear for Annie, and all that entailed, and also his desire to speak with Zee. "He's here, Master; he's been kept here so he can heal. I want to talk with him."

Yoda had listened to everything and all with composure. Now he said, "Know you do that falling apart the Republic is?"

Obi-Wan nodded, though an ice pick scraped down his spine to hear the words from the head of the Council.

"Saved the Senate cannot be." Yoda sighed. "Grieves me it does to say that, and give on all Senators we will not. To many we are speaking, if not of the end, then of integrity and freedom. Mention this I do because a master for Annie I know of, but removed from his job in the Senate he must be."

Ryn-yn. Obi-Wan nodded again. "I can't think of someone better for her. Ryn-yn has a natural understanding for younglings who have lost their way." He was thinking of the times Ryn-yn had helped him, of how Ryn-yn had helped Anakin sometimes, and of Qui-Gon's stories about the master's talent for seeing clear though to anyone's heart.

"Lost her way do you think she has?"

"I don't know, Master. I haven't been near her enough to know. But I fear for her. I know not all visions are true, but I have known of the danger she is supposed to represent since before her first cry. I can't deny it any longer: if she isn't off the path, something is trying to draw her that way. And though the Darkness tempts all Jedi, it may- it _will_ be a greater temptation for her."

"Making a judgment about her you are, when know little of her you do. Justify that can you?"

"The Force tells me she is in danger."

"Answered truly you have. Telling me the same the Force is. Help her we will. Speak with Ryn-yn tonight I will. Let another day go by we will not."

"Thank you." Feeling the rush of overwhelming gratitude, Obi-Wan realized that he was grateful that Annie would be getting the help she needed, but that he could continue to keep his distance from her. Instantly guilty, he confessed his feelings to Yoda.

"Interesting that is, because believed I did that following the Force you were. Near Annie the Force does not wish you to be. If relieved you are, punish yourself too greatly you should not. Perhaps strengthened the Force did your feelings of discomfort. Trust the Force you must. Care for her you do, but keep your distance." He frowned. "Speak of Zee we can now. Wish to see him you do?"

"I feel drawn, Master. I feel a desire to talk with him, but, more, I feel a desire to listen to him, to know what he will say. He has a story to tell, and once it's told, maybe he'll be closer to full recovery."

"Angry with him you are not?"

"I think the Dark Force took him over completely and without more than an inch given by him. He opened his heart to the Dark Side for an instant, and was taken. In a way, he was raped as deeply as he helped Adee rape Anakin. He, like Anakin, was, I believe, as close to a virgin in terms of true evil as any Jedi can be. He needs to be helped."

"Then help him you must." Yoda rose and gestured for Obi-Wan to do likewise. "May the Force be with you."

Obi-Wan bowed and left the Council chamber.

oOo

The cells that had been built within the Temple were unlike any other cells in the galaxy. Each was filled with soft daylight and any prisoner could look out on a garden that was kept solely for their comfort. Because of the ways the cells were situated, those who were kept in the Temple could see each other except through the transparisteel of their windows that looked out on the garden. Each prisoner was also given a task to do: tend plants in pots (for those who could not leave their cells at least once a day), tend the garden on which they could look whenever they chose, perhaps even care for small animals who had been rescued from the streets of Coruscant.

Jedi masters who had retired from work in the field but who still longed to serve and enjoyed listening would come and sit with the prisoners, sometimes for days. They would meditate, fill the space with more and yet more Light, listen to those who had to stay there, and try to lead them back to the Light. Obi-Wan had always imagined that's what he would like to do when he was too old to move outside the Temple.

Zee was the only person held there at present. And when ber'Nac had been incarcerated, he had been there by himself. It was rare for more than one prisoner to be kept in the cells at the same time, and the times, in the last thousand years, when more than two had been kept could be counted on two hands.

After leaving Yoda, Obi-Wan had gone to a mediation room, asked for strength, then entered the detention area. He was surrounded at once by a sense of peace so compelling it was as if he was surrounded by a hundred Jedi all concentrating on his well-being. But under that sense was another: misery, so strong and so sickeningly poisonous and pervasive that Obi-Wan felt a brief wave of vertigo as he struggled to accept the existence of the first feeling on top of the second. Any Jedi who stayed here often must be strong in both his connection to the Force and his connection to his own emotions. If someone wasn't careful, he or she could be torn apart in here.

Obi-Wan stood by the main door for several moments, then, when at last he'd reached deep into himself for the peace he'd come with, he strode across to the second door. This first room, empty except for a single chair had probably been built, Obi-Wan decided, so that those who were entering could collect their wits before going in to speak to anyone. Masters like Yoda probably didn't need such rooms. _But for the rest of us, I'm glad this is here._

He entered through the second door, and saw at once that the detention area was designed to be as humane as possible. The walls were lined with tapestries from a score of worlds, and plants hung everywhere in planters. Small mice-like animals ate from little baskets, then returned to play in little houses or sit on the knee of a meditating Jedi.

Across from this life, which came right up to the door of each cell, were the cells themselves. These, too, were filled with plants, though there was no way for the little animals to enter or leave the cells. Even a small opening could lead to a way of escape.

The doors of the cell were transparisteel, so that guards could see in and the prisoners could see out. Obi-Wan wondered how Zee did with the lack of privacy. But it was necessary. Just because the Jedi longed to help those that they must retain, it didn't follow that they would take risks.

Two knights were on duty, and they bowed to Obi-Wan as he entered. The master nodded to them, then walked to Zee's cell and settled himself on the small rug that had probably been placed there by an ancient master so he would have a little comfort for his bones while he meditated.

Zee was standing with his back to the door, and he didn't turn when Obi-Wan settled in front of his cell, though the master took care to rustle his robes a little. Zee was leaner than the last time Obi-Wan saw him, and his skin was such a pale blue that he almost looked sick.

Obi-Wan reminded himself both that this was the being who had helped to hurt Anakin and also that Zee was lost and needed help. With this attempt at a balanced view firmly in place, Obi-Wan spoke. "I'm here to listen if you wish to speak."

Zee turned slowly, and his eyes were sunken far back into his head. "Master Obi-Wan. I've half been expecting you for months, and yet I sometimes believed I would never see you." He took a step towards the door of the cell, then sat down in a posture identical to Obi-Wan's. "You say you're here to listen, but what do you want?"

Had Zee ever talked like this? Obi-Wan didn't know. He hadn't known Zee that well, only as a master on the Council, someone he'd thought was wise. Just as he and Anakin hadn't spent much time at Temple, so that Anakin didn't get to know many Jedi well, Qui-Gon had kept his padawan with him on dozens of missions that kept them away from Temple for months, even close to a year at a time. And before Qui-Gon, of course, he'd needed all the help he could get from Ahleh; there had been no time to meet anyone.

"I'm here to talk about Anakin." He hadn't meant to confess his intentions so soon, but Zee seemed to draw the words from him. Letting go other plans, Obi-Wan committed himself to this new action. "Will you discuss him with me?"

"What do you want me to say?" Zee's tail whipped back and forth, curling around his upper left arm, then around the one on the right side. He scowled, then the expression eased. "I have nothing to say to you, Master Obi-Wan, because I have nothing to say to the Force and nothing to say to myself."

"I should have come long before this. Your brother sent me with a message for you. He said, 'Tell Zee to watch out for her'. He means Annie Jenn." No need to keep it a secret here, and though Zee surely knew who he meant, there was no time for delicacy or careful walking. Whatever toes he stepped on, whoever he shocked (the image of the knights behind him was in his mind) the words needed to be said. "My daughter."

"Is she a threat?"

"She is either a threat, or is being threatened. I don't know which. But she's being given a master who will watch over her and we will do everything we can for her. But I should have passed on that message long ago, even if neither of us sees the relevance, because your brother asked me to tell you."

"You don't say his name."

"Consciously. Saying his name makes me uncomfortable. I want to think of you separately from Adee." He endured the pain that went through him when he said the name, and for the first time, he realized that what he felt wasn't just anger or sadness, but understanding. He blinked and spoke the truth to Zee. "I didn't want him to die. He shouldn't have died on Dagobah. Something beyond him pushed him to attack, so that it wasn't really Adee I was forced to kill but a spirit that couldn't be killed which had invaded him."

"The Dark Force, you mean."

Did he mean that? "No. Something more tangible. A piece of the Darkness that had a face and personality, if you will."

"Could it have been her? Your daughter?"

"She isn't that powerful. She's still a child." But when the words were out, Obi-Wan felt how hollow they were. Hadn't Anakin been amazingly strong as a nine-year-old boy, and, according to Yoda, even as an hours-old baby? "Forget I said that. I spoke in defense. I don't want it to be her, and until I hadn't thought that it could have been her." His heart beat faster, and he breathed in his fear, then let it out. "I'll discuss that possibility with Yoda, and with her master so that all will know what to expect."

This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. He'd come here, he realized now, to serve Zee as he had Dooku: not sexually, but in the name of the Force. And now here he was, still being taught by the one who had helped to rape Anakin. Again Obi-Wan had to release his anger.

"You've grown strong," Zee said. "If I hadn't given myself completely over to the Darkness, you would have pushed both Adee and I away from your padawan." A pause. "You are much more of a threat to the Dark Side than we realized. Adee was told you must either die or be brought to the Dark Side. I know now that since you can't be brought over- what a triumph that would be for the Sith- you would have to die for the Darkness to gain everlasting reign here." His tail whipped his arms again, making the sound of a lash cracking against stone.

"You're going to make yourself bleed-" Obi-Wan began. He started to rise.

"Sit for a moment, Master Obi-Wan, and listen to me. The Darkness will not ultimately triumph, and neither will the Light. Balance will at last come. And though it must come through Anakin's hands, it is you that will put the strength in Anakin's grasp, and you who will show him where to use it. He is a wise man- he has grown wise, though I didn't see it. The Force tells me. But he will ever need you, or at the least the idea of you." His voice rose and he crawled forward, staring at Obi-Wan. Their faces were less than half a meter apart. "If you do your job well enough, you can die and still he will believe in you and in all the Force has given you. Then you will not truly die, and so the balance will be achieved. But he must believe in you, or your death will destroy him, and the Darkness will reign until everything on Coruscant is dust. Ten times longer than the Republic lasted will the Kingdom of Darkness thrive if you die too soon." He collapsed, lying with his face hidden in his arms. "I am insane. Didn't you wonder why they didn't let me go once I saw what I'd done? I repented the same day I allowed Adee to escape." He raised his head and his eyes burned. If such a thing as demons existed, it was in the depths of Zee's gaze that they danced. "This is my punishment for shielding Adee for so long from Yoda, for wanting my twin to live here with me at Temple, for always covering for him and giving everything I was to keep him safe. All my hope's poured into him, and all my mind. I'm noting now."

He looked away from Obi-Wan, then back. His lips tilted in a feral smile. "Let me do you a favor, Obi-Wan. Let me kill you. Only if you die will you avoid the agony that is coming to you. Only if you die will you avoid Calus."

The knights had come to stand behind Obi-Wan. Their hands rested on their lightsabers. "Master, perhaps you should leave. He needs medicine that the Force can't give."

Obi-Wan glanced at them, and saw that one held a syringe. He stood. Only twice in the history of all the Order had drugs been used to keep a former Jedi from killing himself or others, and in both cases, that Jedi had been insane. If anything was beyond the Force, saving those Jedi had been it.

_No. Nothing is beyond the Force. It is the Force that will heal them at the instant of death, and also the Force that keeps them mostly in the Light._

He looked at Zee, but there was no recognition in the Repticonn's eyes. Obi-Wan sighed. "Do you need help with him?"

"No, Master."

Obi-Wan nodded and left.

oOo

Fast asleep in Obi-Wan's arms that night, Anakin dreamed of his children. Both infants were perfect, so beautiful that all the world sang of their tiny noses and delicate fingers. Their beauty brought Anakin to tears. Cradling his son and daughter in his arms, he was unable to wipe the tears away. Not really caring just then that he wept, he turned his gaze on Obi-Wan, who stood a little distance away, by a door. Obi-Wan's smile warmed him, and he took a step towards his lover. But Obi-Wan shook his head and pointed past Anakin.

Turning, the younger man saw Padme lying on the damp bedclothes, her hair plastered to her forehead, her eyes on him. He went to her and laid the children in her arms.

"Luke," she whispered, looking at the boy. "Leia," she added, smiling at the girl. Then, "Thank you, Anakin."

He bent down and-

_No! I'm not going to kiss her! I love Obi!_

-kissed her. He said, "You did all the work."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat and Anakin turned to him. "We need to give you time to rest," he told Padme, "and then we need to talk of the best way to escape from here. The Imperial soldiers won't lose our trail for long."

She said, "I'm ready to talk now."

Obi-Wan stepped to the bed. "Master Yoda says the twins must be split up." His voice was gentle, kind, sorrowful. "They are filled with the Force, Padme. They sing with it. Each of them needs a Jedi watching over them, as well as a loving parent." He turned to Anakin. "Your battle is far from over. Where has the Force told you to go?"

_I don't know! _Anakin wanted to cry, but he found himself saying, "Beyond the Outer Rim. I'm going to look for someone. Maybe Darth Calus, maybe not."

"He's not Darth Calus anymore," Obi-Wan said, and his gaze darkened with grief.

Anakin took his lover in his arms, but could think of nothing to say.

Obi-Wan pushed away from Anakin after a moment. "A Jedi will meet you on Alderaan, Padme. You will stay with Senator Organa and his wife for a time."

She gaped at him. "Is that wise? I don't want Senator Organa to be in danger."

"We are all in danger, my lady. Leia will go with you." He held out his hands for the boy-child.

She bit her lip and hugged Luke close. "Who will the Jedi be?"

"The Force didn't give me that information."

"Are you sure this Jedi survived the Purge?"

Obi-Wan gently took Luke from her arms. "Yes."

She was crying; Anakin's heart ached to see her this way. "Who will guard Luke?"

Obi-Wan wrapped the child in his cloak, hiding the baby from view, but giving him a little opening where he could breathe. Anakin had seen Obi-Wan wrap other children that way, those that they had saved from disasters on various worlds, or a baby that was being given up to the Temple for training. "I will."

Gasping, Anakin awoke. He muttered, "Too soon," wanting to see more. But even as he felt this desire, he realized that what he'd seen wasn't exactly what was going to happen. He sensed that some details had been added, others dropped, to make the vision clear to his mind. Shaking his head, he wondered why the Force would send him a changed vision.

The answer came from his heart: _It's not the details but the substance that's important._

Of course. It didn't matter exactly what was said; only the children mattered. His children… Padme's children.

_How can that be? _Anakin turned in the bed, snuggling against Obi-Wan. _I love Obi-Wan. More than anything, I love Obi-Wan._

_Do you love me more than you love serving the Force?_

Anakin blinked, but didn't pull away. _How long have you been awake?_

_I woke when you shifted just now. Answer the question, please._

_Of course not, _he said, even as he realized that his devotion to the Force was far less than what was seemingly required.

_Then you must obey the Force. _Obi-Wan kissed Anakin's brow. _When Senator Amidala arrives on Coruscant- I've been told she will arrive within the month, we'll speak with her._

_But what if these dreams are just the last remnant of some misplaced emotions?_

_Do you really believe that? Did you ever love her?_

…_No. But, Obi… How can you be so calm about this? Aren't you the least bit jealous?_

_I'm calm because I am. Jealous? Not just now. Maybe I'll have to struggle with that emotion in days to come, but just now all I feel is peace. The Force wants this union between you and Padme._

_I'm never leaving you, Obi._

_I know, _Obi-Wan sent, his mental tone gently teasing. _And I will never leave you. But ask yourself: did you see the two of us parted, or did you simply see us together, and yet also the children made by your seed and Padme's egg?_

Anakin sighed. Of course Obi-Wan was right. _The second. _He hugged Obi-Wan. _I love you. We'll talk with Padme when she arrives._

_You're getting better at this whole obedience to the Force thing daily._

Anakin chuckled. _It's not just your doing. You shouldn't sound so proud._

_Care to teach me humility?_

Anakin gaped at the roguish, hungry look in Obi-Wan's eyes. He recovered. _Gladly._

oOo

In another hour, Dooku and his padawan would fight again, but at the moment, Qui-Gon had chipped away at Dooku's defenses. "Don't think of the future," he said. "Just answer. Will you serve the Light Force?

Dooku nodded.

What Qui-Gon wanted was an enthusiastic assent, or at least a verbal one, but he didn't push it. As he'd said, the answer was meant to be right at that moment only. Dooku could change his mind in the very next instant; this was a step in the right direction.

Dooku said, "But the Senate is corrupt, my padawan."

It was Qui-Gon's turn to nod. "I know." He realized now that this knowledge had come to him while he was on Bandomeer, though he hadn't recognized it at the time. In a very real sense, because of the Force, he was unable to be surprised. Startled, yes, as in combat, but surprised by information? No. The Force had seen to it that, at least for now, Qui-Gon would be the rock Dooku needed.

Dooku flicked a bit of dust off his robes. "And the Republic is going to fall."

"I know that, too. The Force told me. But it will rise again, and within our lifetimes."

"I should tell you… I tried to tell Obi-Wan, but he wouldn't believe me… Darth Sidious is in control of many Senators. Not all, but most."

Unsaid was what Dooku had done to Obi-Wan afterwards. This, too, Qui-Gon knew, and though he was tempted to say something about it, maybe even offer some sort of forgiveness, he was warned to keep his mouth shut on that subject. He obeyed. "Is Sidious an influential politician, an aide to the Chancellor, or even the Chancellor himself?" He couldn't imagine any of those things, but Dooku was being completely honest with him now, even if he wouldn't be so in a few minutes.

"I don't know."

Qui-Gon felt the strength it cost Dooku to make this admission, and he thought, _The Force is helping him change, but change is never easy._

"I only know that he wields much power over most of the Senate."

The Jedi should be told, but… Qui-Gon sighed. "The Force forbids me to contact anyone."

"And if I did, I wouldn't be believed." Dooku scowled. "The Dark Side doesn't forbid anything."

_Except deep and abiding friendship._ Again, he didn't speak the thought. "You're right, most likely. For now, all we can do is wait for the next seeker of knowledge to arrive."

Dooku's interest was kindled. One eyebrow arched. "Who might that be?" His voice was taking on the cool, collected tone with which Qui-Gon was so familiar.

_I may be losing him. _No matter. They'd made amazing progress. "I don't know. I'm hoping for Annie, myself, but she's still too young to travel all this way."

"Why are you waiting for her?"

"My daughter may be tempted by the Dark Force. If I can do anything to bring her back, I will."

"She wasn't your daughter, or so I've been told." Then Dooku frowned. "No. Perhaps I was told that she is your daughter."

"She isn't, not in blood, but she is Obi-Wan's, and I helped bring her into this world. For the love of her papa, and for the love of the living being she is, I will help her if I can."

oOo

_You hate me, _Annie thought at the Force even as she bowed to Ryn-yn and spoke her assent. _If you cared for me at all, you wouldn't let this happen. I can't be his padawan. He hates me as much as you do. Maybe more. He will never let me talk to Chancellor Palpatine again, and I need to talk to the chancellor. He knows so much more than any Jedi._

Ryn-yn turned to Yoda. "We will work together," he vowed. "I will guide her, and allow her to teach me." He glanced at Annie.

Now she had to think of something that sounded just as noble. "I will devote myself to the Force and to my master."

Yoda nodded. "May the Force be with you."

Her true torment started the moment they left the Council Chamber. Walking half a step behind Ryn-yn (she'd seen enough padawans walk that way to know what was expected) she had to endure the congratulations of every knight and master they passed. Mostly, she didn't have to speak, but sometimes she was forced to do so, and then she had to labor at her response and make sure that her expression gave nothing away. By the time they reached Ryn-yn's quarters (_mine now,_ she thought, and her stomach turned) she was exhausted.

Ryn-yn seemed to sense this. He gestured for her to sit on the couch while he went into the kitchen. He returned with a cool glass of water. She took this and drank, careful not to look at him.

He sat beside her. "And now we must form our master-padawan bond."

She froze, even as something inside her rose up and screamed, _No! No! _She couldn't bear their joining. "Master, can that wait?" She turned her child-eyes on him, blinking innocently and delicately hiding a yawn she didn't feel.

"It cannot wait," he said.

"Many masters wait. Obi-Wan and Anakin waited."

"Master Kenobi's relationship with his former padawan is not only different from most, but it is also not us. You and I will have the usual master-padawan bond from the first."

"Why?" She pouted, still putting faith in her childish beauty to sway him.

"We will establish our bond." He laid his hands on her shoulders.

She felt the power of his grip, though he held her gently. She closed her eyes and quickly shoved everything she felt behind a wall. Palpatine had promised to teach her how to make strong walls; she would have to find a way to get to him so she could have that lesson. But comfortable for now that the wall would hold, she reached through the Force, finding Ryn-yn's half of the link already up. Squelching her fear and suspicion, she finished the bond.

_It is normal to feel uncomfortable at first,_ he sent, _or even anxious and doubting. That's part of your nature. You are going to learn to embrace your nature through the Force. The Force will take your best qualities and strengthen them, and will take those qualities that get in the way of trusting the Force and help you see them in a new light so that you can work through them._

_Yes, Master._

She wondered, secretly, how long it would be before she was free of Ryn-yn.

Or she'd thought her thoughts were a secret. He answered, _You will become a knight when the Force decides you are ready. There are no shortcuts, but if you want to start on the path now, dedicate yourself to the study of the Force, and to all I and others will teach you._

_Yes, Master._

Only when she was alone in her little room that night, and after she'd check their bond three times to make sure that Ryn-yn was asleep, did she think, _I didn't ask how long it will be until I'm a knight. I just wanted to know how long it will be until I'm free of you._

She'd heard of masters dying, leaving their padawans behind. _I'll research that as soon as I get a chance. _Thus, safe with a plan for 'dealing' with her new master, she fell asleep.

oOo

Anakin was on his way to meet Obi-Wan in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. They wouldn't be doing much more than talking, but he longed to show Obi-Wan a certain waterfall. Even though Obi-Wan had probably noted the fall more than once, Anakin hoped his lover hadn't seen the morning-flowers that turned the rock about the descending cascade into a woven carpet of color. Over half the flowers there were glis-lilia.

They'd been 'together' for less than a month, but already Anakin could feel-

A ball of energy flew around a corner, barreling into Anakin and destroying his lovely train of thought. Anakin staggered back a step, then crouched down and lifted the tiny youngling off the floor. Not quite coming up to Anakin's knee, the little, blue bolt of lightning looked like a miniature of Yoda, minus the wrinkles and the frizzy, white hair. This little one was almost bald, except for three blue hairs that curled over his high forehead.

"Hello!" the little Yoda-ling chirped.

_Yoda-ling and Mace-ling, _Anakin thought, and grinned. "Hello, Woda. Do you know me?"

"You're my brother, Anakin."

Anakin's grin widened. "Yes," he said, "that's right. If I put you down, are you going to take off?"

"Yup!"

"Then you're going to stay right here for a moment. Where were you going so fast?"

"Master Cro is making paper animals with the Force. I'm going to miss it!"

"Shouldn't you be with your class?"

The little being blushed, his cheeks flaming bright blue. "I overslept."

"Come on. I'll take you there. Where is she?"

"In her quarters."

"Then you were going the wrong way in any case." Anakin set off, his long legs eating up the distance. Only as he walked with the little miracle in his arms did he realize two things. First, Woda radiated Force-connection. _Is this how I feel to everyone?_ Second, the child, who was only a few months old, spoke in complete sentences, and he didn't use Yoda's syntax. Anakin wondered if he could ask the child about this, and, if he did, if the child would be able to tell him. _I'll ask Obi, _he decided. _And if he doesn't know, Papa will._

They reached Cro's quarters only a few minutes later, and Anakin hit the chimes. Woda was wriggling in his arms with excitement. Anakin found himself trying to imagine Yoda as a child, and he at once came up with a little green version of the child in his arms. It wasn't hard at all to imagine Yoda having so much energy. _I wonder if he drove his parents insane._

Cro opened the door and gestured them in. "You're just in time."

Having seen this demonstration, and very much aware that Obi-Wan was surely waiting for him by now, Anakin said, "I'm not staying. I just came to deliver this wayward youngling."

Woda pouted. "Stay!" he cried, sounding suddenly young and helpless and so in need.

Anakin stared at him, thinking that Woda had spoken quite-adult sentences only a few minutes before. But looking at the child's pleading gaze, and feeling his heart go out to the little one, he sighed and set Woda down. "All right. Let me contact the master I was going to meet and reschedule our appointment."

"Yay!" Woda hopped away and plopped down beside others in his class.

Anakin stepped outside Cro's quarters and activated his communicator. "Anakin to Obi-Wan."

"I'm here. As apparently you are not. Is anything wrong?"

"I've been pressed into service as a temporary babysitter. I'm in Master Cro's quarters, if you want to join us. Then you and I can walk from there to the gardens."

"All right. I'll be there soon." A soft chuckle. "Are you enjoying your little brother?"

Anakin gaped, then shook his head, chuckling. "How do you know he's here?"

"He's in the class that's going to see the animals, true?"

"And how do you know _that_?"

"Nela told me. She truly loves the younglings. She may choose to stay here at Temple and become a teacher." Another chuckle. "Did you think I had magical powers?"

"Sometimes I wonder. Anakin out." He went back into the room and watched his brother watch Cro's magic touch.

oOo

Obi-Wan knew he and Anakin wouldn't sit in the Room of a Thousand Fountains that day, and probably not for several weeks to come, if they returned even then. The demand for Jedi peacemakers increased at an alarming rate. The two of them, perhaps together, perhaps separately, would be leaving that evening. Yoda had called only a moment before Anakin to call Obi-Wan and Anakin both to the Council Chamber in two hours.

_At least the animals demonstration will be over by then. _Obi-Wan smiled gently as he thought of Anakin being 'forced' into babysitting. His lover liked Woda; that much was obvious. Obi-Wan's heart glowed when he thought of how wonderful the little child was. He reminded Obi-Wan of Anakin, which meant Woda would probably be mischievous and sneaky, but he would also be a talented Jedi someday.

Obi-Wan prayed that the Jedi Order would last long enough for Woda to grow up.

He heard voices from around the next corner, and recognizing them both, he composed his features into a neutral expression. This would mark his first time seeing Annie since she'd become Ryn-yn's padawan. He called on the Force to calm him and he hoped for change in his daughter.

When the two swept around the corner, Obi-Wan saw that Annie kept her place beside and behind Ryn-yn well. While not a sign of improvement, it did his heart good to see her thus. He stepped forward to meet them. "Master," he said with a nod.

Ryn-yn returned the nod. "I've heard you'll be leaving Temple before the sun sets."

"Master Yoda has called Anakin and me to the Council Chamber. I don't know about any specific assignment."

"You will," the master answered. Then, nodding towards Annie, smiling a little, he said, "She has mastered the trust exercise."

Obi-Wan saw his daughter blush. _Can she have gained so much in so little a time?_ His heart soared. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Master Kenobi." She looked down, then back up. "May I ask you a question?"

On his guard again, Obi-Wan said, "Of course."

"I would like to be called Annie Jinn-Kenobi. Not because I want any special treatment, but because it is my true last name."

Obi-Wan considered this, glancing at Ryn-yn to see if Annie's master knew anything of this. Ryn-yn's face was blank. After a moment, Obi-Wan said, "I have no objections. With your master's help, you can have your last named changed in the birth records in the Archives."

She said, her green-blue eyes bright with joy, "Thank you." She bowed.

Ryn-yn stood looking at his padawan for a moment, and Obi-Wan wondered if the two were talking mind to mind. Then Ryn-yn turned to Obi-Wan. "May the Force be with you."

"And with the both of you as well." Obi-Wan watched them until they were out of sight. Then, his heart unaccountably uneasy, he resumed his journey to Cro's quarters.

oOo

Yoda dismissed them from the Council Chamber four hours later and the two started back towards their quarters.

"Six missions." Anakin shook his head. "What makes the Council think the other five will wait until we finish the first?"

"They are only telling us of the places that need our help. There's no guarantee we'll be able to do even half of what's asked of us." Obi-Wan moved closer to his lover, touching Anakin's hand. "We can only try."

Anakin's voice dropped. "The Jedi are being overwhelmed." They entered the 'lift and he turned to face Obi-Wan. "Why are they sending us together? We should each take three missions."

"Agreed."

Anakin blinked. "Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Master Yoda never asked us to stay together or to separate. He only told us about all the places that need a Jedi presence."

"Will he be sending other Jedi?"

"He already has. We've been remaining here for two reasons: so I could speak with Yeneluk, and so you could meet Woda."

Anakin's jaw dropped. "What does Woda have to do with anything? You can't tell me the Force said…" He studied Obi-Wan's expression. "That's exactly what you _are_ saying. When did you hear from the Force, and what did it say?"

"I dreamed about three weeks ago of a link between you and Woda."

"Now who's relying too much on dreams?"

"Yoda dreamed the same, and every time a mission came up that you and I would have taken, another Jedi was always closer." Obi-Wan shrugged. "It might be coincidence, but it doesn't matter now."

In their quarters at last, he faced Anakin. "We're going to be separated again." He stepped closer and kissed his lover. "Not forever, and probably not for long. Are you ready for this?"

Anakin hesitated. "Yes, but…" He drew Obi-Wan into a tight embrace. "You're taking this better than I am," he admitted, and he blinked away his tears. "No matter what we do, we're going to lose."

"Yes, that's so." Obi-Wan pulled away from Anakin. "All we can do is keep trying. That's empowering and yet completely useless if you think much beyond the next day or so."

"Can you see when the Jedi are going to fall?"

"If I had to guess, based on all the discord in the Force? Before your twentieth birthday." He stepped into Anakin's waiting embrace. "I love you, Anakin, and we'll meet again on the other side of this."

"Will I see you before the Jedi are scattered?"

"I don't know."

Anakin closed his eyes and hugged Obi-Wan close. "Be careful."

"You too, Chosen One. The Dark Force may not know who you are yet, but that knowledge can't stay hidden forever."

"Be careful, former master of the Chosen One." He tried to tease, but his words died between them. "You're still in danger."

"I know. I'll be careful if you will."

Anakin raised an eyebrow, and a smile tugged at his lips. "Blackmail, Master Obi-Wan? So un-Jedi-like!"

"Assuming it isn't against the will of the Force, I'll do anything I can to keep you safe." He gave Anakin, a heatless, love-filled kiss. Drawing back, he said, "There. Not too stirring, not distracting, but you have my heart, Anakin. Now and forever. This I swear."


	42. Five Years 1

Five Years (1)

Sidious ground his teeth. Such a show of frustration was beyond him and he knew it, but he still gave in to the pleasure of showing his fury. Dooku had been missing for months now; who did he think he was, disappearing and refusing to answer his master's call?

_He's a Sith, _Sidious tried to comfort himself. _Or at least he thinks he is. _ For there could only be two Siths. Sidious and his true apprentice, Calus, were those. _But trying to feel his new strength or not, wanting to test me or not, Dooku is on dangerous ground. _The Siths tolerated much more than the Jedi; that was one reason they were going to triumph and the Jedi were going to fall. _But Dooku has gone too far. _

A choice lay before Sidious: should he find Dooku, then send Calus to bring him back or kill him if he refused to return? Or should he simply let Dooku go? What harm? Dooku wasn't as powerful as he sometimes believed, and anyone against the Jedi was still on the Dark Side, no matter how they justified themselves and no matter who they called master.

_Yes, Dooku is no threat to me. I will simply appoint a new leader of the Separatists. Calus will be their leader, as Dooku was, but because Calus has no mind for battle tactics and political coups, I will find a general to take over the actual running of the Separatists._

And once the Republic fell, it wouldn't matter who was in charge of the Separatists, as a figurehead or otherwise, because Sidious would have command of the galaxy.

oOo

"Obi-Wan Kenobi!" The tall Taubela grasped the Jedi Master's hand and bowed over it. "It's been far too long."

The Taubese language gave beauty to the words, but Obi-Wan sensed the deep relief in the prince's voice. Obi-Wan returned the bow. "Prince Ni-kailo-Bel."

"Are we going to go through that again?" The prince shook his head. "Please, Master Kenobi, let's not return to the formalities."

"Fair enough, Ni." He gestured towards the guards that stood a little way off. "Are they here for your protection?"

Ni sighed. "Someone's decided they're going to kill me. I have made it well-known that I support the Republic and I will not leave her, even if that means leaving my world and going to Coruscant."

"Your family wishes to join the Separatists?"

"Yes." Ni took Obi-Wan's hand. "Please come with me. I want to talk."

Obi-Wan drew on an old lesson. "I'd like to walk to your palace, if that's all right."

Ni blinked. "Why?" He smiled a little. "I know Jedi are different than most, but even you don't wish to walk so far."

"I want to see your city and its struggles for myself. Please let me do so." He met Ni's gaze. "I wouldn't ask unless I felt it absolutely necessary."

"You are a strange Order, and make no mistake." Ni laughed. "I suppose I won't even be allowed to come with you."

Obi-Wan considered. Usually, he would want to be without a royal entourage. But he thought Ni just might be the kind of prince who wouldn't mind going out without his guards. "If I vow to guard your life with my own, will you walk with me and leave your guards behind?"

One of the guards started forward at once. "My lord, do you think that would be wise?"

Ni smiled. "Obi-Wan is a Jedi master, one of the best. He won't let harm come to me." He waved the guards off.

"Follow at a distance if you wish," Obi-Wan said kindly. It wasn't an ideal situation, taking a prince along on what was truly a mission of discovery, but Obi-Wan's heart was stirred towards Ni, and he knew he had to take the royal son with him.

The guards exchanged glances, then the one who had spoken before said, "You will defend him with your life?"

"Yes." Obi-Wan didn't make the Jedi sign of promise; they wouldn't know what it meant. _And a Jedi's word should be enough, even now._

The guards fell back and Obi-Wan and Ni left the landing platform.

"Will you show me the best way to your palace?"

Ni chuckled, reached out again and touched Obi-Wan's arm. "You've changed so much. I didn't know you could be so forceful."

"And you've never seen me fight, but you had faith in me nonetheless."

"I've heard the tales about you. They multiply every week, it seems. At first, I didn't know it was you- I had forgotten your last name. And even when they showed a picture of you, though your eyes were the same as I remembered, I still didn't know for sure. But then your name was mentioned, and I was at last convinced." He gestured down a long flight of stairs. "This way."

"I'm sure there are many men named Obi-Wan." The maser's eyes quested everywhere without seeming to do so. He noted that the guards were keeping a respectful distance, but that they were agitated, nervous. _He's truly being stalked then. _The master had been sent to Bel le Taube to convince the ruling family not to leave the Republic. Two dozen other systems, who looked to this planet as their leader, would surely follow. _I'll have to see what I can do about finding the assassin._

"No. It's quite an uncommon name. It is only used in one planetary system, Numala, though it is as common as Ni is on this world. Every third male child bears my name, and it is the name of my grandfather and two of my uncles. So you hail from that system. Unless someone at the Jedi Temple named you."

"No, that's where I was born." The Force rose around him, and Obi-Wan, following the unction and the almost-voice in his heart, turned his gaze towards Ni. He expected to see some danger lingering near, but nothing presented itself. The Force had never been wrong before. Put more on his guard by the lack of measurable danger, Obi-Wan redoubled his efforts to keep all quadrants under surveillance.

"You seem so calm," Ni murmured, laying his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder for a brief moment. "I would think you were simply taking a stroll if I didn't know the Jedi as I do. What do you hear? What do you see?"

Obi-Wan didn't answer. He listened to the almost-voice in his heart and knew that they must hurry. Picking up his pace a notch, he only gestured for Ni to stay with them. According to the Force, they were surrounded by danger on every side, and yet the danger was nothing Obi-Wan could fight with a lightsaber.

"I see nothing. What is it?"

Disinclined to answer, Obi-Wan glanced up at Ni and put a finger to his lips. The gesture was by no means universal, but Ni had seen Qui-Gon use it once, asked about it, then begun practicing it. By the time Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had left so many years ago, it seemed half of Bel le Taube had picked up the tiny finger flick.

Ni grinned, then copied the gesture. He also fell silent.

oOo

Anakin found himself near to Padme's rooms before he'd even composed his words fully. Sighing, he knew he could pace around a little more, but he'd put this off for far too long. She had been on Coruscant for a month. He marched to the security desk, showed his clearance, and was allowed up. Riding in the lift, he remembered the last time he'd come this way. Obi-Wan had been with him.

Sighing, Anakin released the ache that rose in his heart and mind. _Obi. I miss you._ The pain went, but slowly. Six months apart and Anakin dreamed of his lover every night. The dreams of Obi-Wan's death had receded some time ago, replaced by erotic musings and images full of longing. When he woke, he always felt lonelier than he had when he went to sleep. Talking to Yoda helped, and spending time with little Woda, who already had the mentality and emotional development of an eight-year old, distracted him. And of course being on missions helped. How could they not, when he barely had time to think about catching a quick meal so he wouldn't collapse between being shot at and chased and hunting different dangerous terrorists and Separatist supporters. If he'd had an illusions of being gentled into his solo missions, that illusion had melted away faster than a cube of ice under the sun of Tatooine.

But if his dreams about Obi-Wan had changed, the ones about Padme and their children persisted, strengthened and refused to quit. And so it was that he found himself nearing the top floor and her suite of rooms.

The doors of the lift opened and he strode out into rooms he remembered well.

She wasn't waiting for him; she had no reason to be. And yet she was dressed well, as though she was soon going to address a committee of Senators. How lovely she was in the light from the windows. Some of Anakin's apprehension fled. _My space angel._ He cleared his throat and stood a little distance from her, waiting for her to notice him.

She turned at once, but she didn't look pleased to see him. A ripple of fear flew between them, and Anakin thought, _She _is _Force-sensitive. _He wasn't sure where this knowledge came from, but he knew it to be true. And knowing that she, too, reached out to the Force, even if it was unconsciously, gave him courage. He moved to her side with purposeful steps and knelt beside her. "We need to talk."

She looked away. "About?"

"About our dreams." No reason to let her know that he was at all unsure she'd been having the same sort as he. From her agitation, he knew it to be so.

"I don't love you," she said. "I can't. Maybe I could have once, but…" She faced him again, and her eyes flashed. "And have you given up on telling Obi-Wan the truth? If I was going to love anyone, I would love him because he deserves true and honest love."

He held off telling her the truth about himself and Obi-Wan. "Do you really love him, as two who are married love, or it just respect and dedication you feel?"

She grimaced at him. "Dedication. Respect. But I evidently feel more than you do."

He smiled a little. "Obi would disagree with you. I confessed my love to him seven months ago. We're together."

Her eyes widened, but if he expected to see jealousy, he didn't expect to see first complete joy, then protectiveness. "Don't you dare hurt him, Anakin Skywalker. Don't you dare."

Should he tease her more? No; her words were honestly passionate. She loved Obi-Wan, not in a romantic sense, but as Bant and Reeft did. He said, his eyes serious, his voice steady and strong, "I will never abandon Obi-Wan or hurt him. I love him."

She studied him, just as Obi-Wan had done many times, looking for the truth of his words. Then her eyes cleared and she nodded. "Good. How is the Jedi Council taking this?"

He explained about Yoda's almost year-gone proclamation.

She nodded. "Good." Then she looked down at her hands. "Come sit next to me. You don't have to kneel like that."

He settled himself beside her on the couch. "Padme, I am dreaming that I am the father of your children. In the dreams, their names are Luke and-"

"Leia," she whispered. Then she closed her eyes, seemed to compose herself, and looked at him. "Obi-Wan was there. He held nothing against us. But he didn't seem to be with you, either."

"I my dreams, he is. Maybe the Force only told you what you needed to know."

"The Force?"

"Who else could have sent these dreams?"

She fiddled with the long sash that ran down over her skirt. "Anakin… We can't do this. I'm a Senator. You're a Jedi. Even with the Jedi's new rule, we can't do this. Won't it make you seem partial to one planet or another?"

"I'll let the Council do image control," he answered. "Or Obi-Wan. He's the diplomat."

But any joke he'd meant was lost on her. "I've been hearing about all the disasters he's prevented." She raised her eyes. "And you've made quite a name for yourself."

He caught her hands in his. "What I mean is that we have no duty to anything but the Force. The Force is sending us these dreams for a reason."

"I can't imagine making love with you. You might not be a virgin, Anakin, but-"

"That's not what truly frightens you. Tell me the truth." He squeezed her hands so gently. "Please."

"We-we can't hope to do this without falling in love." She sighed. "I can't hope to do this without either coming to hate or love you. There will be no friendship after this. And have you discussed this with Obi-Wan? Is he prepared to give you up?"

"Maybe he could be here when we lay down together? Not in the same room-"

"Or in the same room," she said. "I just want him to know that I'm not trying to steal you."

He laughed; he couldn't help it. "You don't know him," he said when he could speak.

She glared at Anakin. "You don't have enough respect for his feelings!"

"Obi's the one who told me to come talk to you, and if it was the Force's will, to do as the dreams say. Jealousy is so far from him he's never felt it, not even as a child. All the other sundry emotions- negative and positive- and you assume everyone feels at some point, those he's felt. But jealousy? Maybe it's biologically impossible with him. It's certainly impossible as far as his heart's concerned."

She was silent for a moment, then her expression turned wondering. "You really believe that."

"Obi is one of those Jedi for which the definition of 'Jedi' was written. And as for falling in love, it's a terrible sacrifice the Force asks of us, to remain friends and yet lay together as lovers and conceive children in love. But it's no worse than other requests the Force has made, requests that, when obeyed, better the galaxy." He squeezed her hands again, making sure she was looking at him. "None of the sacrifices I've had to make are close to being as difficult or deeply life-changing as this one, but I know two Jedi who have done things just as difficult or worse."

"Obi-Wan?" she asked.

He smiled. "It shows in my eyes, I guess. Obi said I have to learn to make my face a mask, even when I feel strong emotions."

"You don't have to wear a mask around me," she said. "Especially I we're going to go through with this."

"I know. The second Jedi is Yoda. I don't think it's my place to share their stories with you, though you know most of Obi-Wan's already. I just want you to understand that they suffered greatly in their obedience to the Force, and that the Force strengthened them for what they had to endure, then gave them rewards and consolations better than any they could imagine. That doesn't mean the suffering was taken away, but they were given the ability to live through it. And I know you're not a Jedi, but you have suffered to do the right thing before. You're never had to give your body, but you've given your spirit and your soul, which are, at least to the Jedi way of thinking, much more valuable."

"That's how my people think also." She bit her lip. "But I never imagined I'd be giving away something so intimate and personal as not only my virginity, but my love for these children and my body to hold them." She swallowed. "Anakin, if I have these children, I can't just give them up. That was also part of the dream. I took our daughter, and Obi-Wan took our son. I don't know if I can give him up. It's not a question of fearing for him; I know Obi-Wan would guard any child with his life. But…"

"But they're your children and you don't want to lose them." Anakin nodded. "I've been made to understand that the Force won't allow me to raise either of my children, or see my lover much longer after Luke and Leia are born. I'm going on some sort of solo mission. Also, you need to know that things won't happen exactly as they did in our dreams, because I'm sure the Force sent us different representations of the future. My dreams, though they deal with the same small amount of time- after you give birth to the start of my mission- they change each time. You and I say different things, sometimes Obi-Wan is there, sometimes it's Yoda, sometimes-" He stopped, collected himself. "Sometimes we're alone." He'd almost said, 'Sometimes it's Qui-Gon'. Knwoing that she hadn't been given that knowledge, he kept the secret to himself.

"Padme," he resumed, "we have a choice; there is always a choice. But if this is what the Force expects of us, who are we to say no?"

She looked down at her sash again and toyed with it. "I don't want to be a mother who loses her children, or even one child. And I don't want to be a mother without a husband to help me. It might sound noble to you, or easy, to take care of a child all alone, but it's nearly impossible. Who will be there to help me when things get hard? And if the Force wants these children born, then it stands to reason that the Force is going to require something of them. Something dangerous. I don't want to give birth to children only to have them murdered."

"They might help to save the galaxy," Anakin said. "But it probably won't be something so big. Most likely, these children are meant to be born for some miracle that they'll work in our lives: yours, mine, Obi-Wan's. If Obi-Wan is meant to take Luke, surely there's some significance to that."

"He's going to take Luke to his family. That's what he said."

"To whose family? Obi-Wan's?" He didn't want any child near the people who had abandoned their son on the steps of the Jedi Temple.

"Luke's. I don't know what other family Luke would have besides you and me, except my mother and sister."

"Or my half brother, Owen." Anakin thought of any child of his having to grow up on work-a-day Tatooine, with no true hope of going anywhere, ever, no hope of becoming more than a moisture farmer. _But I became more; a son of mine could do the same. And I can't believe Obi-Wan would just leave Luke with Owen, or with anyone._ "It doesn't matter where they would go. If the Force wants them can we just ignore the Force's request?"

She grimaced. "They aren't our children, you're saying. You're saying they're just tools of the Force."

"We're all, in the end, tools of the Force. It doesn't mean the Force doesn't care about us, and it doesn't mean the Force will abandon us. But we are servants of the Force, yes. We can't escape that fact. Especially when the signs are so clear."

She hugged herself. "I won't do it. I can't. You can't ask this of me, and neither can the Force. I don't care who or what our children are meant to become. I won't make love with you." She stood, took three steps from the couch, and turned to face him. "I won't give up my children to anyone. You'll just have to find another woman to serve the Force with. Or have children with Obi-Wan. Just not me." She stepped back again. "Please leave."

Reading the anguish and panic in every line of her face and the rigid set of her shoulders, Anakin rose, but didn't come near her. "I'm sorry, Padme. Please understand that I would never make you do anything you didn't want to do. I would never rape you. No matter how much I believe our children are meant to be born."

She softened a little, but didn't in any way invite him to come closer. "I know you would never hurt me. Tell the Force that it can choose someone else."

He didn't tell her that the Force already knew of her decision, or that the Force would continue to work on her. He didn't tell her that there could be no one else, that the Force never changed its mind. Instead, he bowed and said, "I'm sorry I upset you. But while the Republic survives, we have time to fulfill the Force's request. After that, there will be no more time."

She paled so suddenly he thought she might faint. But still she radiated ice and thorns, not letting him close. She braced herself with one hand on the back of chair. "You think the Republic is going to fall?"

He nodded, realizing that, until now, that information hadn't been shared outside the Jedi Order. And though many in the Order knew it now (Yoda saw no reason to keep such a thing a secret from those who would take the brunt of the attack) it had been decided that no one else would be told. _Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, _Anakin thought. "The Jedi will be killed and scattered," he said. "Not just within your lifetime and mine, but within the next decade." He couldn't bring himself to give her Obi-Wan's prediction that the Republic would fall in the next year and a half. He thought maybe she would be able to handle the news, but he didn't want to frighten her. She was intelligent; she would start to see the signs of decay soon enough, if she wasn't already. And, along with those signs, she would start to see how everything was already a long way towards falling apart completely. He hesitated for a moment, then said, "Please don't spread that around. I shouldn't have even told you." He shook his head ruefully. "All the growing-up I've done since Obi-Wan left and I still make mistakes like that."

"If I'm good enough to trust with your baby, shouldn't I be good enough to trust with your secrets?" Then she stopped. "I didn't mean that." She crossed to him, laid a hand on his arm. "I can't obey the Force, but that doesn't mean I want to hurt you. I know there are certain things I shouldn't be privy to." She looked away. "We can't do this. We can't."

"Maybe, someday, we will." He stepped away from her, towards the door. "If you change your mind, call me. If you don't, I'll be back anyway, to talk. For now, the Force says we don't have to join right this instant."

She shivered. "I don't like this Force ruling my life."

Anakin resisted the urge to laugh because it would have been disrespectful. But how often had he held similar thoughts? _How often do I still?_ Less than a year ago, even less than a month ago, but still he didn't like what the Force told him he must do. He wasn't anywhere near as upset as Padme, _but maybe that's because I can't see how attached I'll become to our children, and I can't see how close she and I will become. _Nothing could draw him from Obi-Wan; nothing could even tempt him. _But she doesn't have someone to be anchored to. She could fall in love with me, and I'd never love her back as more than a sister, as more than my space angel._

He bowed to her one last time and left.

oOo

In the palace that night, Obi-Wan couldn't sleep. He divided his hours between meditation and poking his nose about the palace. He found neither a reason for the disturbance in the Force nor anyone who was actively against Prince Ni. Knowing that he would find the answers when needed, Obi-Wan returned to his room an hour before dawn. No one had seen him as he walked here and there alone the mostly-silent corridors, and he wished to keep it that way. Ni obviously still trusted him, but his elder brother, who was now king, had no memories of Obi-Wan. Of Qui-Gon, yes, but not of Obi-Wan. His trust was held much closer to his breast.

Entering his quarters, he sensed the Force ease around him. The danger was still present, but it had moved off. Obi-Wan went to the window and gazed out, searching within the palace and outside it as far as his senses would go. The danger had drawn off quite a distance, even leaving the palace, though it was still on the grounds. Turning his eyes again to the gardens far below. Nothing to see, except flowers.

Then something moved in the darkness, a figure, tall, graceful.

Obi-Wan moved into the shadow beside his window and watched the figure carefully. The danger didn't come directly from the being below, but was closely linked to it.

The figure walked out into the light of three moons, and Obi-Wan saw Ni.

_He doesn't know what danger he's in, _Obi-Wan thought. He climbed onto the sill and jumped. Four stories down, he landed lightly a few paces from Ni.

The prince whirled, but didn't cry out. The expression on his face was one of bravery and determination, and the knife in his hand was held point-up. Then he relaxed. "Obi-Wan. What are you doing out here?"

"I should ask you the same. If you are in danger, why would you be out here alone? Where are your guards?"

"There is no danger in this palace. All of it's out there." He gestured at the palace wall and the world beyond.

The song of the protected rich. They believed that stone walls and guards who weren't even present could keep them safe. "If I got the drop on you, so could anyone else. And it doesn't have to be physical contact. You could be shot from any of the windows." He gestured upwards. "Please come inside."

Ni took two steps closer. "Can't I sit outside with you? You'll protect me."

"Ni-"

He caught Obi-Wan's hand. "I'm so sick of being inside. Please help me, Obi-Wan."

"I want to help you, and that's why we should go in. The danger to you is out here."

"In this garden?" Ni looked everywhere.

"On the palace grounds, but not inside the palace. I haven't seen anything yet, but the Force is never wrong." Grasping Ni's hand, convinced this would be the best way to get the prince to follow him, Obi-Wan started inside. As he moved, the Force blazed around him, telling him that the danger was near enough to touch. Obi-Wan's lightsaber was in his hand in less time than it takes to tell and he moved so that Ni was closer to the palace and he, Obi-Wan, stood looking out at the garden. Still unable to see anything, he refused to put his weapon away. "Go inside, Highness." He hoped the formality would get Ni moving.

Ni hesitated, then went.

When he was inside, the Force informed Obi-Wan that the danger had moved inside.

Obi-Wan blinked, put his lightsaber away, then went to a bench and sat there. Closing his eyes, he thought, _Ni is the danger. Perhaps to himself, perhaps to his world._

The Force negated these ideas.

_To the Republic?_

Again, that sense of a cosmic head-shake.

_To me?_

There. That was it.

Obi-Wan sighed. _Everything I've seen so far tells me he doesn't want to hurt me, and that he isn't working for anyone who does. _But the feeling wouldn't go. Rising, the master vowed to be on his guard around Ni. And he sent these words to the Force: _If he's another would-be rapist, he's much subtler than most._

_It isn't rape that I have to watch for. _The words came from his heart, and he realized that, on some level, he'd already known Ni was a threat.But beyond that, he knew nothing.

_I'll watch him. That's all I can do. And I must remember the reason I was sent here._

oOo

Qui-Gon and Dooku sat on two rocks five paces apart. Their weapons were clipped at their sides.

"I can't go to Yoda, Padawan," Dooku said.

"That is the Dark Force talking for you," Qui-Gon answered. "Don't you think Yoda, above all others, will welcome you home?"

Dooku shook his head. "You do not understand all I have done. I will never be accepted." He leaned forward. "And if the Jedi are going to fall soon, even if the Darkness will not triumph forever, what can I accomplish by being among them?"

"An honorable life and a noble death." He wanted to tell Dooku of the secret of the Whills, but the Force urged him not to tell yet. Dooku wasn't ready for such information. Maybe after he'd seen Yoda he would be, but not now.

Dooku frowned, closed his eyes, considered. "I need more time to think." Then he met Qui-Gon's gaze. "I'm well aware that my hesitation is cowardly; you do not have to say so."

"I didn't."

"Then where-?" But his face had changed; a light came in to it so strong that the world around him looked dim by comparison. "Force," he whispered. "The Force is with me. In me." He sat like that for perhaps a minute, then he blinked and the light began to disappear into his skin, marking him as a Vassal of the Force forever.

Qui-Gon's heart sang, and it was all he could do to keep his seat. Patience was whispered to his heart, but he longed to jump up and embrace his master. That was something Dooku never would have tolerated before, and, truth be told, Qui-Gon had learned much of his reticence from the older man, so that he had never truly desired any physical demonstrations of friendship.

But even as he restrained himself, his heart longed to be held by another. _Will I ever be rid of my need for Obi-Wan?_ He sensed that his love had changed utterly now, that he would never again want to lay beside Obi-Wan, or surround himself with the heat of the younger man, but he wanted very much to hold Obi-Wan against him and feel the ghost of love that would still linger. _I miss you, Obi mine._

"The Force tells me to wait here for a time, then to follow where it leads." He shook his head, wondering. "I can almost hear a voice, but even without that, I would believe." He smiled, a tiny, miraculous thing filled not with hatred or malice or guile, but with wonder. "I never expected to feel this way again." He looked at his former padawan. "You are truly wise. The Force has taught you well."

Touched- how long had he waited for words like that from his master?- but unsure what to say, Qui-Gon held his peace.

oOo

In light of his promotion, Calus resolved to focus for a time on what Sidious wanted. Sensing Qui-Gon had frightened him more than he'd ever thought possible. There had been a time when seeing Qui-Gon did nothing more than amuse him or, after he'd seen Obi-Wan, draw him in. Now, with the memory of Qui-Gon's voice ringing in his ears, he decided he would cleave close to his master for a time. Whatever Sidous command, Calus would do. And, if he did all his master commanded, maybe his desire for Obi-Wan, surely a dangerous desire now that Qui-Gon was most definitely still alive, would fade. Or he would find another way to satisfy it.

His heart rebelled at this idea, but he ground his teeth and vowed to ignore the lust that lived inside him, and also to turn his thoughts from the rest of the emotions that were tangled up in his longing for Obi-Wan.

And so it was that Darth Calus found himself setting down on a planet near Coruscant. He flicked off the engines, then took a moment to make sure that he presented a dapper and unassuming figure. He had purposely gained some color in his cheeks, though he would never pass for tanned. At least he wasn't nearly bone-white, as he had been way back on Telos. That look, pale, mysterious, strong, had served him for a time. The contrast between his black hair and white skin had been stunning; many had commented on it, or been drawn to it. But his purpose now was to seem warm and inviting. Everyone needed to feel that he could be a best friend, a trusted young man able to help solve all their problems. Let the disgusting creature, Grievous, do the dirty work.

Exiting the ship, he gazed down upon the welcoming committee. They had, of course, known that a representative from the Separatists was coming, and they had probably expected it to be Dooku himself. But if they were disappointed, they hid it well.

Calus stepped onto this new soil and bowed to them. "I'm honored," he said. "I did not expect to be greeted by such distinguished guests."

The local governor, who held a place on the Planetary Council, began to speak, but as he did so, Calus caught movement among the rest of the delegates. Remembering his old Jedi tricks (he and Dooku were full of them) he looked without seeming to look, and spotted a tall, handsome man among the rest of the delegates. From the way he carried himself, as well as from the robes he wore, Calus knew he was a Jedi. He resisted the urge to scowl. Hadn't these people agreed to join the Separatists? Calus was here to oversee the signing of the treaty only. Why was a representative of the Republic here?

He reminded himself that the governor and his lackeys might not know a Jedi stood in their midst. Even though the robes should have been a dead giveaway, so many people failed to note them. Unless they saw a lightsaber, they assumed the robes were simply travelers' garb.

All this while, he had been attending to the governor's speech. When the governor asked him if he would like to refresh himself, he smiled and bowed. "I would, Excellency. If you'll forgive me, there is one in your company that I have known for many years. Please permit him to show me to a place where I might rest before we speak." A lie; he didn't know this Jedi. And yet he did. He knew all Jedi.

The governor turned when Calus gestured at the tall young man, and he nodded. "Of course. Lord Anakin, will you kindly show our esteemed guest to his rooms? They are on the fourth floor of the west tower. Of course he will be given the entire suite."

The Jedi nodded and gestured for Calus to follow him. The two of them walked away from the press of people, entering into a small, shaded park that lay between the landing platform and the west tower. Calus darted a look at the Jedi, and found that he himself was being studied. No surprise there. They walked on.

Calus stopped suddenly. Jedi were known for their patience, but this was more than he'd counted on. Could it be the Jedi didn't know who he, Calus, was? "Where's your lightsaber, Jedi?"

"In its usual place, servant of Dooku. Where's your blaster?"

Calus scowled. "You aren't being honest, Jedi. They called you 'lord'. What happened to Jedi integrity?"

"I asked them to call me Knight Anakin, but they refuse." Finally the younger man turned to face him. His gaze burned with controlled fire. "Are you afraid this world will be lost to the Separatists? You can dismiss that fear now. They are nearly ready to abandon all thought of joining you. Perhaps we should skip the room-tour and you should get back on your ship. I'm sure the governor won't mind. I'll just tell him you decided that your goals were not in the best interests of all."

Calus did his best to restrain his hand, but his palm itched to grip the handle of his own lightsaber. No one since Qui-Gon had driven him to rage so quickly. He said, "I am not leaving, Jedi. You should be considering your own flight plans. Would you like to leave as you are, simply with your tail between your legs, or would you like to be taken home for burial?"

Anakin seemed to laugh at him, though his expression remained grave. "Shall I show you your room?" He started that way, his back to Calus.

But the Sith lord was no fool; he knew the Force would be alive with any intentions he put into action. He strode forward until he was beside the Jedi. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that giving quarter to the enemy is the same as inviting him in?"

"You aren't unarmed, but I have hope we can talk. Peace is the way of the Jedi, even in regards to someone like you." He glanced at Calus, and something in his gaze and words froze Calus's heart.

He did his best not to show this. "Who was your master, Knight Anakin? I might know him."

Anakin was quiet for a moment, then, looking fully at Calus, he said, "Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Calus was sure he hadn't been able to hide his entire reaction. He covered it as best he could. "Yes, I've heard of him. He's earned the title 'the negotiating general'."

Anakin nodded. He turned his eyes from Calus. "And who are you? You haven't given me even a name."

Would Obi-Wan have told his padawan about his run-in with Xanatos? Unlikely; most people wouldn't want anyone to know about a time when they were weak. That had been one of Qui-Gon's failings. It could be assumed that Obi-Wan had inherited that trait. But Calus didn't quite chance it. Still, someone would eventually say his name, and then Anakin would know it. He pondered the danger, wondering if Anakin would attack him right way. If that happened, Xanatos would have to reveal himself to be a Sith, and he wanted to keep that knowledge hidden for as long as possible.

Caught between few choices and none, he opted, just this once, for truth. "My name is Xanatos." It was his turn to watch Anakin for any change of expression. He got it; a sudden widening of the eyes, quickly gone, and a downturn of the lips so severe that Calus wondered how any supposedly-serene face could hold such fury.

Then Anakin's face turned to a mask. He stopped walking, but didn't face Calus.

The Sith thought about walking on, but then realized that if they were going to fight, here would be the best place. It was deserted. He could kill the Jedi, if the need arose, and then pass off his death as someone else's doing. Once he had made an entire planet hate Qui-Gon and his young padawan simply by spreading a rumor. The same could be done here. And the Temple had no time or resources to investigate anything.

Turning, he faced the Jedi and waited.

Anakin's face did not change; he closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, but that was all. Then he spoke. His voice sounded calm, but Calus didn't trust it. "You raped Obi-Wan," the Jedi said.

Calus didn't smile, though that would have been a good expression. It would have infuriated the Jedi. But something in Anakin's features stopped him, though he couldn't define any one thing that set his caution sensors off.

"You didn't destroy him, even for a minute." Anakin's eyes narrowed. "A year ago, I left the Jedi Order for a short time. If I was still outside the Order, you would be dead. You should thank the Force for your life. Only the Force keeps me from killing you." He smiled. An illusion made his teeth look sharp. "Well, the Force and Obi-Wan's belief that anyone can be led back to the Light, even a diseased thing like you." He didn't draw his lightsaber, didn't take a step, but he seemed to grow taller. "You will leave this world and never return, or I will fight you. If I capture you, so be it. You'll go back to the Temple. But I won't be looking for reasons to keep you alive."

The formality in the knight's tone scared him more than anything else. He sounded so like Obi-Wan, so strong despite any physical weakness. And unlike Obi-Wan, this Anakin had skill and power to back him up. He would make good on his threat.

Anakin turned towards the landing platform. "Will you leave?"

Feeling as though he heard Qui-Gon's voice again, Xanatos struggled to keep his knees from shaking. He swallowed, unable to help the gesture, then started walking back towards the platform. Sidious would surely want to know what had happened, but Xanatos would come up with a suitable excuse. The important thing was to be alive to make that excuse.

They were about to leave the shade when Anakin reached out and grabbed Xanatos's arm. He yanked Xanatos to him and gripped the front of his enemy's shirt.

Xanatos felt the Force flowing around him, then into him. It froze his muscles. He couldn't even open his mouth.

"If you ever go near Obi-Wan again, I won't wait to run into you like this. I'll track you down and kill you. I'll cite the excuse that you were too dangerous to keep alive." He drew Xanatos forward so that they were almost close enough to kiss. "Obi-Wan taught me restraint, but Qui-Gon taught me the power of letting some of my emotions out. It is his teachings I'll be drawing from if you ever touch Obi-Wan again." He shoved Xanatos away, releasing him from Force-grip on his muscles.

They walked to Xanatos's ship in silence. Anakin stood watching as the ship took off. Xanatos could see him through the canopy.

When he was in the atmosphere, safe, Xanatos resolved he would never cross Obi-Wan's padawan again.

oOo

_Only the truly sorrowful and truly grateful could hold such a celebration,_ Obi-Wan thought as he donned the ceremonial robes he had known he would need. Usually, ceremonial robes were the last thing he thought about when packing for a mission. He hadn't been back at Temple in a little over seven months, so that he'd carried the ceremonial robes with no thought that he would use them. But when he had been packing back in his quarters, watching Anakin do the same on the other side of their bed, his heart ordered him to bring official garments, and he had complied. Now they came in handy for a funeral and a ball.

He'd never been to such a ceremony that combined celebration of triumph with mourning for the dead. He hoped he wouldn't be asked to make a speech. _But since I was almost killed trying to save the king, a speech might be in order. _Sighing, he allowed sorrow to build in his mind, then to recede. There was nothing more he could have done; he'd saved the queen and the four royal children, but the king had been too far away. Obi-Wan reached him in time to be hit by three blaster bolts as many other bolts caused the king to disintegrate from chest up.

As for Ni's assassin, Obi-Wan had found the servant of Dooku, a man who screamed as he was taken away that the Darkness would swallow all the galaxy like a hungry monster. "And there's nothing the Jedi can do about it!" he had howled just before the doors were closed behind him and he disappeared from sight.

The assassins who succeeded with the king were all dead now. Obi-Wan had killed one himself, left with no alternative, and Ni killed the other two, showing little restraint and no regret.

He knew now that the assassins had been privy to Dooku's true allegiance, and though he wondered at first how hired guns came to know such information, he had found marks that each bore, marks made by a lightsaber. _So, Dooku has started marking his henchmen. Pleasant._

It turned his stomach to think of what lay ahead for the galaxy before the balance could be struck. He found himself pleading with the Force as he straightened his dress robes and made sure his hair was combed so that he wouldn't insult either the new king, Ni's second-eldest brother, or the queen and her children.

_Please, _he thought, _don't let this happen. Don't let the Darkness overwhelm us for even a little while. Even a day is too long. Please. There has already been too much death. All the sacrifices we make, all the suffering, has to count for something. I know I can't change the galaxy by myself, but if there's anything you'll take from me in exchange for preserving more lives, I'll give it. Anything._

But the Force didn't answer him.

Grieving, Obi-Wan left the plush and beautiful rooms he'd been given. The corridor outside his room was hung in green and silver, the colors of the royal family. The halls hadn't been hung thus when Obi-Wan went to dress, and as he entered another corridor, he saw that here the hangings were still being put in place. Two of the youngest children of the dead king were trying to hang the scarves on pegs too high for them to reach.

Obi-Wan went to them, crouching beside them. "Am I allowed to help?"

The older of the two- she couldn't be more than five Coruscanti years old- said, "Please." Her eyes were dry, but Obi-Wan couldn't tell if that was because she was struggling not to cry or if she didn't yet understand what had happened. Then he looked fully into her eyes, and he knew that she understood completely.

Rising, he used the Force to hang the scarves. The pegs were far over his own head. When the scarves were in place, he turned to the children, thinking he would bow and ask them if they had more scarves to hang. But the youngest one held out her arms to him, her eyes large with want.

Obi-Wan lifted her into his arms. The other child, trying to look as though she didn't want to be held, looked down at the floor, Obi-Wan scooped her up as well. The children settled against his chest and he held them securely there.

_Force, for children like these. For children of my own, ones that I can hold whenever I want, children I can comfort and strengthen and guide… _He resumed his journey to the main hall where the funeral and celebration would be held.

"Don't cry, Jedi," the five-year-old said, and she reached up, wiping the tear that had escaped his control. "We will see Father in the next land."

_Another that believes in life after death? Force, have the Jedi been blind to the possibility? _"Thank you for reminding me," he said.

Entering the hall, he saw the queen and her six other children. She spotted him carrying her two little ones and rose. Her littlest children wriggled in his arms and he set them down. They ran to her and she embraced them. Then she sent them to stand with their siblings and she approached Obi-Wan. She stood a head above him.

He bowed before her. "Your Majesty."

"Nialia Sing told me you were crying, Master Obi-Wan." Her voice was soft but husky. She had been crying.

"Yes, Majesty." He didn't know how to explain his selfish thoughts.

"Do the Jedi believe in life after death?"

He couldn't hide the truth form her. "No, Majesty. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. The Jedi are not all-knowing."

She nodded, then reached out, touching his face with gentle fingers. "You will see when you die that we all go to the same place. Some have the gift to come back and speak of that place and others do not, but all, in that land, are able to talk to each other." She turned, gestured towards the long line of mourners that wound their way first to the casket, a long thing made of angel-wood and covered in thousands of flowers. "Please show your sorrow, then follow the line back to the tables. When all are seated, we will celebrate his life and our lives."

Obi-Wan bowed again. When she went to her children, he made his way to the line. He was so deeply absorbed in his thoughts that he only felt the disturbance in the Force an instant before the hand caught his and held it. Looking up, disguising his surprise and letting go of the frustration he felt at himself for letting his mind drift, he saw Ni gazing down on him.

Ni smiled, squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. His eyes were wet. "Thank you for saving all you could. We haven't said it enough, but we are grateful for your presence. There would have been so much more death if you hadn't been here."

Even with all the other danger gone, the Force hadn't fallen silent about Ni. Obi-Wan was still no closer to understanding why the Force warned him about Ni, but he had resolved not to leave Bel le Taube until the answer was revealed. He wouldn't leave these healing people open to a new attack. But he couldn't truly suspect Ni of any betrayal.

_And he isn't really a danger to the rest of his people. He's only a danger to me. I must remember that. _Aloud, he said, "I am sorry I couldn't save your brother."

"We will see him again someday." He moved closer to Obi-Wan, putting his arm around the Jedi's shoulders.

A remembered feeling- embarrassment and nervousness- made Obi-Wan long to pull away. Out of respect, he refrained. The two of them started towards the casket together. But as they walked, Obi-Wan recalled his long-ago conversation with Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon's long-ago words: _Do you feel towards Ni as you did towards Xanatos?_

_No. He wasn't going to take advantage of me._

_Then what's wrong with a little innocent flirting?_

Ni drew Obi-Wan closer yet and, bending slightly, whispered, "Are you well?"

The tickle of Ni's breath in his ear sent a shiver through him, and his heart ached as it had when he held the children in his arms. Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment, releasing the feelings into the Force. "Yes."

Flirting. That's exactly what Ni was doing. Even in the funeral line, he was making an advance. Obi-Wan tried to tell himself he was being ridiculous, that Ni wouldn't do such a thing. But then he remembered the Taubela attitude towards death: it must be offset by a show of life. To Ni's way of thinking, there might be nothing wrong with forwarding his own life while he mourned for the dead.

_I'm going to have to distance myself from him. _But as Ni twirled a fine lock of Obi-Wan's hair around his finger, the Jedi felt that tug at his heart again. He groaned.

"Are you in pain?" Ni's lips were so close that Obi-Wan could smell the Taubela's honeyed breath.

He opened his mouth to answer, but then stopped. He had wanted to say, "Yes," to tell Ni all that was wrong, from his longing to prevent war if at all possible to his craving for children of his own. _But I am a Jedi. I cannot leave the war, and it isn't the time when I can have children. Isn't it enough that I gave birth to Annie and I cannot see her or be near her sometimes? _"Yes, I'm all right. It was just a passing discomfort."

And then they stood before the casket and Ni released Obi-Wan for a moment. He knelt by the head of the angel-wood masterpiece and touched his lips to its rim. "I love you," he whispered. "I will miss you. I will live in your memory." He rose, stepped aside.

Obi-Wan came to the casket and knelt. "Asheleh corrneli'yah." The peace of the Force. "Sendare moncana." Your memory in the hearts of all. "Mineneh cara se." Rest and dream.

Then he rose and stepped away. When he was beside Ni again, some of his strength went out of him and he leaned against the strong prince. He didn't understand the sudden lack of strength, and when he recovered an instant later, he stood on his own, but he sensed that something had been taken from him.

Ni guided him away from the casket and to a table. The head table. Here he commanded Obi-Wan to sit, and he sat beside the Jedi master. He didn't hold Obi-Wan's hand any longer, but his eyes, full of concern, were on Obi-Wan. When refreshment was brought, he poured a goblet full and pressed it into Obi-Wan's hand. "You are pale. Drink. You will feel better once you do."

Obi-Wan did and felt marginally better. But the Force was all but moaning around him, and he longed to be away from the long table and the weight of Ni's gaze. _Force, help me._

_This you must face on your own._

_Great._

The rest of those gathered there found seats. The new king, Vi-Lar-Bel, stood and raised his goblet. "My brother has passed. He left us with a beautiful daughter who will one day be queen." He bowed to the eldest of his brother's children. "I will hold the throne until she reaches her majority, then his line will continue. To Cri-Ta-Bel!"

"To Cri-Ta-Bel!" shouted all gathered there.

Vi-Lar-Bel drank, then set his goblet down. "We will now speak of those things we will do to show that we will live on." He gestured to a grown Taubela at his side. "My son and his wife will have a child in less than a month."

All shouted with joy.

"And my daughter-" gesturing to a light-skinned, lovely Taubese with purple eyes- "will wed in six weeks."

Another shout.

Vi-Lar-Bel sat. "Others!"

Ni rose. "I have fallen in love. I will propose to my beloved now."

A hush fell over the table as Ni turned to Obi-Wan and lifted him gently from his chair. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, I know you care for me. It shows in all your movements and I hear it in every word you speak to me. I know you are a Jedi, and that you are not meant to marry. But I also know that a life without love is no life at all. Let go of your obligations and embrace what your heart tells you. The galaxy darkens; we all feel it. Bring joy to both our lives, short as they are. Say you'll marry me."

Somewhere far off, the Dark Force laughed its triumph.


	43. Five Years 2

Five Years (2)

_I could have children._ The knowledge shook him to his core. The Force didn't matter. Nothing mattered, except that possibility.

_I could leave the war. I wouldn't have to see so many deaths._

A world built on love, a world built on the possibilities of the future, where children would be raised not to someday fight or to someday heal so that others could fight. _My children would grow up in laughter and with my arms about them to shield them, keep them safe._

Ni bent his head and kissed Obi-Wan full on the mouth. "I love you," the Taubela whispered. "Interspecies marriage is not so unusual as you would think."

"Our differences don't bother me," Obi-Wan breathed, thinking of Yoda and Mace. His eyes were closed, and his heart pretended that it was Anakin who held him. Anakin and he had left the Jedi and were settled on an out-of-the-way world where war never came. They wouldn't have a connection to the HoloNet, and their lightsabers would stay behind in the Temple. They would never tell their children about fighting or killing or anguish.

_Or saving lives. Or the joy of leading an entire world away from war to peace._

Obi-Wan resolved that those excluded truths were a small price to pay for happiness. When Ni kissed him again, he didn't feel it at all. _We would live where only love ruled._ He smiled.

"Say you'll marry me," Ni whispered, and his voice could have been Anakin's for all the love it held.

Obi-Wan's lips parted; here was his chance to avoid all the pain, all the suffering. His children would never have to worry if their papa was coming home or if they themselves would be in danger because of anything their papa did. _Because the Dark Force wouldn't want Annie so badly if she wasn't my child. The Dark Force only wants her to hurt me._

"Please, Obi-Wan."

_What happened to your nickname for me?_ The lost master opened his eyes, and saw Ni smiling down at him. _Not Anakin. _The shock of that simple truth jarred his mind and shook his new-found peace.

_He's not Anakin, and I can't have peace. That's not what I was called to do. I am a Jedi to bring peace to others and find my peace in the Force. No matter how much I long to have it all around me, I can only have it truly in my heart._ He glanced to his right and saw the children of the dead king looking at him. He wanted to hold them all; his chest tightened when he saw how small they were, and how unprepared for the war that would come to their very door, and then inside, to their bedchambers and their playrooms.

_And who's going to stop it? Other Jedi? There aren't enough of us to stop half of what is going to happen when the Darkness comes. If I leave the Jedi, even more people will be without a guardian, a diplomat, a protector. Millions are going to die when the curtain of Darkness falls; any fifty or ten or one I can save would be more than was saved without my intervention._

Gazing at the children, he wanted to cry, but his usual serenity was reasserting itself. If he needed to weep for all that he was giving up, he would do it later, alone. But he doubted he would cry. Already the edge of his grief was being rubbed away by the Force, softened.

Obi-Wan stepped back from Ni. "Speak with me alone," he said.

Ni grinned. "Just say it here. Don't be shy. You're going to be royalty now. You'll have to get used to this sort ot thing."

"Please come with me." Obi-Wan bent a little Force-suggestion into the words.

But Ni couldn't be influenced.

_And so I find myself having to make a speech. Just not the one I planned. _Obi-Wan grasped Ni's hands, which were trying to draw him closer, and held them still. "I cannot marry you."

Ni's smile held for a moment, then he blinked. "Do you feel it necessary to continue your duty with the Jedi?"

"It isn't that." Must he explain? Wasn't it enough that he was already embarrassing Ni in front of all the assembled company?

"But the Jedi aren't allowed to love, so if you won't love me, it's because you won't leave the Jedi."

"The Jedi are allowed to love. Master Yoda and Master Windu, the heads of the Jedi Council, decreed as much over a year ago."

"Then what is it?" Ni pulled his hands free from Obi-Wan's grasp and grasped the short man's shoulders.

Obi-Wan met Ni's gaze, praying this would be his last explanation. "I'm in love with another."

Ni's eyes widened. "Who? Qui-Gon is dead."

"I never said it was Qui-Gon."

"Your love for him was obvious. But he is dead. Do you still grieve for him?"

Obi-Wan felt the weight of a hundred gazes on him. He breathed out his discomfort and it disappeared into the Force. "I am in love with a Jedi named Anakin. I'm sorry, Ni, but if I gave any impression that I cared for you as more than a true friend, it was unintentional." In truth, he wondered if he had done all he could to maintain distance. _No. I enjoyed his company too much for that. _He released his frustration with himself into the Force as well, then said, "I'm sorry."

Ni looked away. His eyes darkened. "No, Master Kenobi, I apologize. I misread your intensions." Without another word, he turned and left the table.

Most men might have stood in silent shock or indecision, but Obi-Wan strode off after the prince at once.

Out in the corridor, Ni turned on him. "Do you still want to talk?"

"No, but I know enough about pain to know that you should not be alone right now. I am not the first choice, the ideal choice, but if you would rather have another companion, we will walk back into the hall and you will choose someone to accompany you. You will not be left alone."

Ni stared at him, then, shaking his head, he said, "It's words like those that made me think you loved me." He started walking again. "Come with me if that is your wish." He led Obi-Wan to his royal rooms and motioned for Obi-Wan to sit on the couch. Ni sat across from the Jedi on a stool.

The Force warned Obi-Wan against this, but Obi-Wan answered, _I have to help him. I hurt him. Unintentionally, yes, but I am to blame._

Ni said, "Tell me something. Why did you let me kiss you twice?"

"I thought you were Anakin. I was so wrapped up in the idea of being out of this war, of having children of my own, of raising them in a peaceful place, that I forgot where I was, even who I was. I felt sick of fighting. Ni, I am truly sorry. I never meant to mislead you. I feel worse about that than almost anything I've other done."

"Almost?"

"I was once with Qui-Gon; you're right about that. After he died, and I started to recover from my grief, I realized that I didn't love him anymore. I know how awful and unfaithful that sounds, and I have no justification for it."

"There is no shame in falling in love with another after your love has died, or after you part ways with a former love." Ni smiled a little. "Did you think I had been sitting here all these years alone?"

_Honestly, I hadn't really given the intervening years much thought. _"Did you have a lover?"

"Yes. He went to fight with the Separatists."

Obi-Wan's heart seized. "I'm sorry."

"He still lives, but he left me, swearing that he could never love anyone who served the Republic. I feared it was he who hired the assassins. You don't know how relieved I was when you discovered that every assassin was operating on Dooku's orders." He stood and moved to the couch, sinking down beside Obi-Wan. He took the master's hands in his. "Do you know what a miracle it seemed when I saw you stepping off that ship last month? It was like all the fates were smiling at me." He blushed. "I am quite taken with you. I was taken with you the first time you were here. You are possessed of a beauty and elegance that I have rarely seen. And I came to know you this time. Your beauty and elegance reach all the way down to your soul. To know you is to know fairness and patience. I couldn't resist you. Obi-Wan, whoever this Anakin is, he's a lucky creature."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan felt the throb of the Force all around him, and he knew that Ni wasn't as comforted or rational as he sounded. "Please let out your anger. I won't be offended."

But, as he had been wrong in regards to the danger from Ni, he was wrong about what Ni still had to tell him.

"There have been joinings between humans and Taubela," Ni murmured. His thumbs, stroking the backs of Obi-Wan's hands, worked subtle magic. "My great-aunt married a human man. They were beautiful together, and their children were stunning. They lacked the height of most of our people, but their eyes… I've never seen such eyes." He reached up and touched Obi-Wan's cheek. "Your eyes are beautiful, so perfect. I can see everything you've ever loved in your gaze: sentients and beasts and even plants." He moved his fingers upward, rubbing strands of Obi-Wan's hair between his fingers. "You want children, Obi-Wan. So do I. And I would no sooner tear you away from the Jedi than I would cut off my own arm. You are meant to be a Jedi. But as a Jedi who is with another Jedi, you can never raise your children. They must either be given up, or they must become Jedi themselves. Isn't that true?"

Obi-Wan nodded.

"If you were with me, I would keep the children here with me. I would take care of them while you were away. And when you could, you would come back here and you would see them growing and you would know they are yours. They would call you Papa and they would come running when your ship landed. They would jump into your arms and hug you until you couldn't breathe."

Obi-Wan wept without knowing it.

Ni wiped the tears away with the pads of his fingers. "You would grow to love me as much as I love you. And we would have our family. You would serve the Jedi and I would serve my people, but we would have time just to ourselves when we could serve each other. Has anyone ever served you, Obi-Wan? Has anyone ever loved you so much that your happiness was all they truly wanted? I can't believe that."

Obi-Wan shook his head weakly. "I love Anakin. That will never change."

"You love Anakin and will sacrifice for him, but you will never truly be happy. Without children, you will always feel incomplete. Some are meant to be completed by hard work, some are completed by play. You are completed by children. I know that as surely as I know my own hands."

The truth of it almost brought Obi-Wan to tears again, but he struggled back from the brink. "I love Anakin. I will never leave him. And I cannot, in good conscience, bring children into a darkening galaxy. And who is to say that Anakin and I will not someday have children?"

"As long as you remain with Anakin, as long as your first loyalty is to the Jedi and to the Force, you will never have children." Ni moved forward, kissing Obi-Wan. He pulled Obi-Wan against him, his arms tight around the master's back.

_Force, help. _Obi-Wan pushed Ni back, but with only half his will.

Then, almost as if he had reached over the thousands of parsecs, Anakin whispered, _I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and as long as I live, so will my love._

_Thank you. _Using the Force, he disentangled himself from Ni's embrace. "Don't do this," he said. "Don't tempt me away from all for which I have given my life. From my first breath until my last, I am meant to serve the Force."

Ni gazed at him sorrowfully, then he rose. "If you change your mind, return here before you try anywhere else. I cannot promise to wait for you, but I can promise to love you more than anyone else ever has or ever will." He gestured towards his door. "You may walk me back to the gathering."

Obi-Wan did so. Knowing that silence was needed now, he held his peace. The disturbance in the Force was much less, and he thought that the rest was most likely the lingering doubt of his secret heart, which wanted nothing but peace, at almost any cost.

_But not at any cost, and that makes all the difference._

When Ni was safely back with the revelers, Obi-Wan returned to his rooms after giving a charge to the loyal guard who had shown the most concern for Ni's safety. It was simple: until Prince Ni is not grieving, make sure he has someone to talk to. In that way, his grief will pass more quickly.

When he reached his room, Obi-Wan removed his dress robes and folded them neatly away in his pack. He now stood in just his undergarments, and as his gaze strayed to the mirror, he sighed softly. His lover would have smiled at him now, or said something. Obi-Wan whispered, "Anakin, I miss you."

His communicator, lying on the bed nearby, beeped.

Obi-Wan stared at if his cloak had just risen and spoke. He hadn't heard from anyone in six months, not even Yoda, as he followed the unction of the Force from star system to star system. He knew this was for two reasons: the Jedi were busy with so much pain and suffering going on that they could hardly keep their heads above water. The second reason was that many communiqués to the same comlink could theoretically pinpoint that comlink's signature, making it easier to trace. The Jedi had worried less about that in years past, but things were different now. The galaxy was at war.

His communicator beeped again. Obi-Wan picked it up. "Yes?" Also a new order: don't state who you are unless you recognize the person on the other end of the link.

"…Obi."

The strength went out of Obi-Wan's legs. He meant to sink onto the bed but missed, landing almost silently, like a dropped rag doll, on the floor. He leaned against the side of the bed and subconsciously _reached_. "Anakin."

"Don't," Anakin said. "It's not safe."

Then Obi-Wan's head cleared. Anakin would not be calling to chat. Something was wrong. He moved away from the bed, folding himself into a meditative posture. He fortified his shields. "What is it?"

"Xanatos is alive. I met him." Anakin paused, then said, "He's young, Obi. Not much older than me. How can that be? He doesn't have the Light Force to sustain him."

"I don't know. Where did you see him?"

"Meenas Three. I went there to convince them not to side with the Separatists."

"My fiery former padawan is becoming a peacemaker? Wonders never cease." Obi-Wan felt cold with the thought of Xanatos being so close to Anakin, but, obviously, Anakin had survived, and was dealing well with the encounter. "What was he doing there?"

"He was working for the Separatists. Under Dooku."

The Force spoke to Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan passed the news to his lover. "Dooku is not serving the Separatists anymore."

"Do you mean just the Separatists or the Dark Side altogether?"

"I don't know. What happened between you and Xanatos?"

"He knew I was a Jedi and singled me out to show him where his rooms were. When we were away from everyone else, he tried to make me angry." Anakin hesitated. "When I found out he was Xanatos, he succeeded. I didn't attack him, but I threatened him, and… And this was after I'd told him who my master was."

Silence rang between them.

"I'm sorry, Obi. I know I shouldn't have told him."

"Let it go. It's past. What happened after you found out his identity?"

"I threatened him." Anakin's voice was barely audible. "I told him that if he ever touched you again, I would fight him, and I wouldn't try either to keep him alive or to kill him."

"What stopped you from fighting him right then and there?"

"You always said there's hope for anyone, and I knew I wanted to kill him. It… would have been like the Tusken Raiders."

_Oh, Anakin, I miss you so much. You don't know how much I want to hold you. _"You made the right decision. I'm proud of you. But hearing that isn't enough, I don't think. What more can I do?"

"Be here, in my arms?" Anakin chuckled weakly. "Force, Obi, I want you here, now. Or I want to be where you are. Being away from you isn't the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's close."

"Really? What was the hardest?"

"Letting go of my anger at ber'Nac. I've been spending time in half-meditation since you left- hoping the Force would tell me about you, if you want to know the truth-and I've realized that I wanted to go completely to the Dark Side in those moments after ber'Nac died. I crave it as a way to stop feeling so much fear. When I saw you bleeding…" He stopped. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be bringing this all up now."

"And why not? It is on your mind and we haven't talked in far too long."

"We had no choice in that. We can only talk now because I had to warn you about Xanatos. I could have let someone else warn you, though, I guess."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Don't deprive me of the chance to hear your voice."

"You're a hopeless romantic."

"If you ever noticed the times I entertained at state dinners, what did I use?"

"Stories." Anakin sounded slightly breathless. "The most beautiful and startling stories. No one coughed or shifted when you were storytelling, and I think half of them didn't breathe."

"Thank you, beloved. Stories are part of my romantic nature, as the intensity of your gaze is part of yours. Even when you are not struggling against anger or excitement or any strong emotion, your gaze intimidates."

"I'm sorry if I frighten people."

"You don't, generally. You make them cautious around you. That's one of many reasons you and I were such a good team: our differences worked well together." He paused, then said, "We should go. Neither of us needs to be tracked through the galaxy, and since we are both targets of the Dark Force, and that side of the Force is headed for its temporary supremacy, it stands to reason we could be hunted. Stay in the Force always, and be careful. You are ready for the challenges that await you. And, incidentally, I've been listening to the news of you. I feel so much un-Jedi-like pride." He chuckled, and Anakin did the same. "Every time I hear someone praising your name, I want to shout, 'That's my lover'."

"Obi, you never shout."

"True. Now you understand how much pride I take in your accomplishments."

"You take more pride as my lover than as my former master?"

"No, but- Anakin, can you feel that?"

"Yes. The Force wants us to stop tempting the Darkness. I love you, Obi. All the warnings you send me, I send back."

"I love you. May the Force be with you."

"And with you." Anakin closed the link.

Obi-Wan gazed at the communicator, then tucked it away in his pack. All other packing could wait unti the morning. He retired to bed.

He thought he would surely dream of Anakin (not that he didn't most nights) and he did, in a sense, but Anakin was hardly the center of the dream.

Obi-Wan stood in a white room, watching medical droids deliver the children. He wanted to be closer to the bed, to be holding Padme's hand and encouraging her along, but that place rightly reserved for Anakin.

_I'm so glad Anakin is here to see this. _He sensed that Anakin had almost missed this miracle, and so he barely begrudged his lover the chance to be with the mother of his children.

Yet… _Everyone has children but me, it seems._ Obi-Wan banished the thought, casting it into the Force. He smiled when Padme named the children, and the smile remained as Anakin took both in his arms and held them close for the first time.

An echo of Dark Force reached Obi-Wan, and he felt the shield Yoda had constructed about the room being strengthened. He added his own energy to it, needing for Anakin and Padme to be safe. And when Anakin kissed Padme, Obi-Wan felt not even a touch of jealousy. His heart only ached to have the children in his arms. He didn't' love Anakin less, but Anakin's faithfulness had never been in question. Obi-Wan didn't even bother to analyze the kiss or its meaning.

He woke with the certain knowledge that Annie was his last child. He grieved for a moment, but then sent all his pain outside himself. _There is no time for selfish pain now. When the balance is restored, I will feel the sorrow, if it hasn't burned itself out. Not before. _With that thought, and noting that true morning was still many hours away, he closed his eyes and willed himself back to sleep.

The next morning, rising early, he assembled his pack and made all other arrangements to leave. He half-expected Ni to come and see him, but the prince didn't appear. _And perhaps he won't. I hurt him badly._

That thought, for most, would have been guilt-driven. Obi-Wan stated only facts. There was nothing he could do for Ni at the moment. If the prince came, they would have a chance to talk. If he didn't, they wouldn't. Obi-Wan had no doubt that the guard he'd spoken to the night before would follow his orders. Ni would heal.

Pack on his shoulder, his dark brown cloak swirling about his ankles, he left his room. He met a guard almost at once- not the one he'd spoken with- and the Taubela volunteered to walk him to the hangar where his ship waited. Obi-Wan accepted.

"That was bad last night," the guard said when they'd taken less than a dozen steps. "Prince Ni wouldn't say anything unless he was sure you'd agree. Didn't the two of you talk beforehand?" Then he blushed.

Obi-Wan didn't answer.

They were headed for the hangar closer to the palace. Obi-Wan had moved his ship there two days into his stay. The Jedi's mind was already moving forward into the next mission. He didn't know what it would be, but the Force would guide him. All he knew for sure was that he couldn't return to Temple yet.

Outside in the warming sunlight, Obi-Wan saw that his departure had been anticipated. The new king was there to see him off, and with him were both his wife and his brother's wife. None of their children were present and Obi-Wan thanked the Force for small favors.

Ni was conspicuously absent.

_Or perhaps I only think of it as conspicuous because I wanted to see him once before I go._ Obi-Wan thanked the guard for the escort, then stepped before the royal family and bowed. "Thank you for your hospitality. I will take your decision back to the Senate, and I will do all I can to see that your interests are represented there." This last didn't mean much, but the Taubela knew that. Obi-Wan hadn't sugar-coated the truth. They stayed more out of loyalty towards a system that could be rebuilt and fixed than towards the existing Senate. And they stayed because they believed in the Jedi.

Vi-Lar-Bel nodded. "Thank you for all the wonders you accomplished here."

The queen, the wife of the deceased king, came to Obi-Wan and took his hand. "Will you remember that there may be life after death?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Majesty."

When she stepped back, Obi-Wan nodded to all of them, then entered his ship. As the door closed behind him, he sent a final prayer to the Force: _Take care of Ni. Let him heal._

As he settled into his seat and ran through the check before takeoff, the Force exploded around him. His head snapped up and he saw, through the canopy of the little ship, Ni standing far back from the rest of his family. He held a blaster in one hand and his eyes were on the ship. Even as Obi-Wan watched Ni checked the blaster, then raised it to his head.

Obi-Wan leapt from his seat and used the Fore to shatter the canopy. He jumped through the breaking transparisteel and threw all the Force he could lay mind to at Ni to freeze his muscles. He landed on the nose of his ship and propelled himself across the intervening space, over the heads of the rest of the royal family. As he flew, he sensed the great concentration of Dark Force around Ni and knew that the prince was not acting wholly on his own.

And why did the Dark Force want Ni? Did it believe Obi-Wan would be injured by Ni's suicide? Obi-Wan conceded that the suicide would eat at him unless he worked very hard to stop it. But now, knowing that what he was about to witness was more murder than suicide, directed as it was from outside, his lips pressed together and his eyes blazed.

There was time for Ni to shoot himself, and only some of his muscles- those in his legs- had frozen. But he saw Obi-Wan coming, and though the Dark Force surged around him, he held firm and didn't pull the trigger. His eyes, when they met Obi-Wan's, were bright with fear and need.

Obi-Wan yanked the blaster from Ni's grasp with the power of the Force, and he tossed it up in the air. Bringing his lightsaber to bear, he sliced the weapon neatly in half before it started its downward fall. It landed with a clang and a rattle at his feet. Sheathing his blade and slipping it into his robes, he was ready to catch Ni, who staggered forward as the hold on his legs vanished. Obi-Wan held the prince against him and whispered, "Sh. Sh. It's all right. You won, Ni. You won."

"I could hear…" Ni shuddered. "A voice told me to kill myself, that I would only find an end to my pain if I died."

"That was the Dark Force. It wanted to kill you because you stand for the Republic and for the Jedi." No need to tell Ni he was also a pawn in a power struggle. "You will be safe now. You resisted. The Dark Force will not try again." And, as he said this, the disturbance in the Force that always hung around the prince vanished and Obi-Wan whispered, "You're safe."

Ni sighed and leaned against Obi-Wan. "What I said last night- when I condemned your dedication to the Force, to your lover and to the Jedi…"

"That was the Dark Force speaking, not you. There is nothing to forgive." Obi-Wan drew back, meeting Ni's gaze. "Please be strong. I need to know- the Jedi need to know- that here is a people, a world we can count on. And I need to know I can count on you."

Ni sighed. "I wish you would stay." He shook his head. "You can always count on me, Obi-Wan." He stepped away. "Be careful. The Dark Force might have plans for you."

"Plans it may have, but I've been avoiding its traps for years. I will take the warning, and I'll be careful, but don't fear for me."

Ni nodded. "Forgive me, but I have to say this: if your lover dies, come to me and I'll comfort you. I don't wish his death, but only happiness for you. Be careful and spend as much time with him as your duty will allow."

"Promise me you'll keep your heart open to the possibility of loving someone else."

"Yes. I promise." Ni shook his head. "I'm sorry I-"

"Enough," Obi-Wan said gently. "Please don't apologize."

Vi-Lar-Bel stepped forward and put his arm around his younger brother's shoulders. "Thank you, Master Jedi." He gestured towards the ship. "We will repair this and have it flown back to Coruscant. In the meantime, you must take one of our vessels. If I am right, the Force needs you."

oOo

Xanatos knew both that he couldn't have what he wanted, and yet that he must. He knew he would die if Sidious found what he has planned. Surely such a fate awaited Dooku, for not even Qui-Gon, powerful and frightening as he had become, could stand against a Sith Lord. The Jedi master had barely stood against Darth Maul, and only then because of the help Obi-Wan and the boy, Anakin, had brought.

_But Anakin isn't a boy anymore. _Xanatos sneered, hating himself for his cowardice. Twice he'd run from Jedi, twice he'd given them his back when they wanted him to stand and fight.

_Maybe this is a sign that I'm not meant to be a Sith. _He was still meant to be powerful; he knew that as he knew that he was meant to outlast Sidious and every evil that rose to take his place. _I've known for awhile that I am no man's apprentice. Not Qui-Gon's, not Sidious's. I am my own man._

Not that he was considering leaving Sidious just yet, but it was something to contemplate, certainly. He didn't owe his 'master' anything, not even the death he'd told himself he owed Qui-Gon. Sidious had tried to replace Darth Maul and had been unable; that wasn't Xanatos's fault, but neither did he need to make sure that he left Sidious with someone else, or even with the semblance of loyalty.

The only danger was that Sidious might kill him for his betrayal. Just like he was hunting Dooku down (Xanatos didn't know this to be a fact, but he knew the Sith) he could and would stalk and kill his formal apprentice.

_So, I need a way to protect myself. _Nothing came to mind. _Well, that's why I'm considering it now, not trying to implement it._

He was flying as quickly away from his dealing with Obi-Wan's apprentice as possible.

_Obi-Wan…_

He grimaced and pushed the name from his mind. Sidious had to be dealt with or avoided or gotten away from somehow before he could have Obi-Wan.

_And so ends my short career as a devout Sith. _He smiled a little. _Yes more proof that I was meant for something better than serving the Force, no matter which part of the Force you're talking about._

He tapped into the HoloNet as he flew, wondering what sort of face would be put on the war today. Each day it seemed that the newscasters changed their minds. The end of the galaxy as we know it is at hand! Perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing. We will get true and lasting peace now. We will all be destroyed and there will be no one left to enjoy peace!

And on and on.

Just now, a Tellarian newscaster was talking about some planet Xanatos had never heard of. He decided he didn't really need to listen to the news and his hand was reaching for the off switch when Obi-Wan appeared on the screen. Forgetting to breathe, Xanatos listened hard.

"…foiled a terrorist plot on this small world which has, nonetheless, many connections to systems throughout this quadrant. Unfortunately, the Jedi, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, could not be pressed for comment." An image of Obi-Wan climbing into a ship flashed across the screen. "But Prince Ni-Kailo-Bel assures us that the Negotiator, as many are now calling Master Kenobi, had other worlds to save and that the duty of a Jedi is to avert disaster, not take the praise afterwards." The newscaster gazed into the camera and said, "We can only imagine the sacrifices all the Jedi are making in the name of peace, but today our thanks goes out to Master Kenobi, wherever he may be."

The broadcast ended and Xanatos flicked off the screen.

His heart was racing. He hadn't seen Obi-Wan at such close range since the master was a padawan. Though he had guessed that Obi-Wan would still be handsome, he hadn't expected such a flowering of masculinity and tenderness. Obi-Wan's face said that he was willing to help any and all that came to him, and that he would rather try to talk his way through problems than fight.

That last was a mistake. Fighting was often the only way. Hardening, Xanatos knew that he couldn't pass up this chance to take Obi-Wan for himself. He would talk with Obi-Wan, yes, and teach Obi-Wan what true servitude meant. The Force didn't take half so much or give a tenth of what Xanatos would give. He would convince Obi-Wan of that and without hurting one hair on the handsome Jedi's head.

_And what of Sidious? _his common sense demanded. _Or the other Jedi, Anakin? You can't hope to avoid them both. Your only way out would be if they showed up and killed each other instead of you. That isn't going to happen. You can't get away from Sidious, and you can't have Obi-Wan. End of story. Stop dreaming._

But his mind blazed with the gleam he'd seen in Obi-Wan's eyes for a split second on the screen. That gleam said, 'I am strong, but I am not a threat. I'm here to help you'. Obi-Wan didn't know that he was the one who was going to be helped.

_This is insanity! _cried his rational mind. _You cannot hope to capture a Jedi when you are watched and he is guarded! Abandon this!_

But Xanatos had never given up something he wanted. He wasn't about to start now. _If you're done, _he told his sane mind, _you can help me figure out a way to make Sidious think I'm still working for him, keep myself hidden from all Jedi, and still have my prize. Think of something and we'll talk._

He wasn't mad, or even close to it, but his blood ran with a fire that charred his usual sense of calm. He was perfectly aware that he wasn't really talking to himself, or to some phantom voice, but that he had compartmentalized his mind to best deal with the situation. In one half: his need for Obi-Wan. In the other: his knowledge of how the galaxy really worked. He resolved to find a logical way to take Obi-Wan for his own that was also as close to safe as could be assured. He didn't even want certainty; life was full of challenges. All he needed were cover-ups if things went wrong and plenty of escape routes.

He angled towards the Separatist home base, knowing that he would be expected to check in. He no longer feared Sidious's wrath or questioning: he had his responses planned. One more interview with the Sith Lord was nothing more than a bump on his road to his true destiny.

oOo

Annie knelt behind the chancellor's desk and listened. Someone was coming, but she couldn't tell who. Whoever it was, though, she was sure it wasn't Ryn-yn, and that was all she really cared about. It didn't matter that the person had his mind heavily shielded. She wasn't supposed to be here, not now, but she thought the chancellor would permit it just this once. By being here, she might reveal his secret, but she had something to ask him and it couldn't wait.

She smiled to herself. _None of the Jedi know! Not Yoda, not Obi-Wan, not anybody! They all think Sidious is some hidden, faceless figure threatening from the shadows! They'll never know he's-_

_Stop,_ ordered a cold voice in her mind, and the smile fell from her lips as if it had been slapped away. _Even here a Jedi could pick up on a stray thought if you don't shelter your mind. _The door to the office opened and Sidious/Palpatine strode in. He locked the door behind him, then commanded her to stand.

She did, trying not to show how afraid she was. He wouldn't respect her if he felt her fear.

_I already feel it. _But his voice had gentled. He sat down at his desk and called a seat over for her to sit in. _You're still young and you don't know the true power of the Jedi. They are all meant to die, yes, but they are strong and worthy opponents._

_Not Ryn-yn. He's nothing. He doesn't deserve to live even until all the others die._

Sidious's eyes blazed. _You want to kill him?_

She nodded, not sure how to explain herself. Her reasons for wanting him dead are so much pettier than Sidious's reasons for planning the downfall of the Jedi. Could he possibly understand that she needed Ryn-yn dead for not only things she could explain but for others which she could not?

_Of course I understand. As Darth Maul was driven to kill Qui-Gon Jinn for reasons he couldn't define even to himself, Ryn-yn must, to your mind, be destroyed. _He smiled. _You need to learn that the Jedi way of having reasons for everything is not my way, not the way you are meant to follow. To serve the Dark Force means to be free of fear, free of justification, free of everything that gets between you and what you want._

She balled her hands into fists. _I want my teachers to suffer and I want Yoda to suffer, and Obi-Wan, but Ryn-yn needs to die now. He stands between me and all you want to teach me. When he is gone, I will find it easier to come here._

_Only if you are not suspected in his murder._

Annie opened her eyes wide. _Who would suspect a little girl?_

_Wise Jedi._ Sidious sighed. _We will have to find a good place for you to be when he is killed. You must be surrounded by many witnesses, and you must find it in yourself to cry when he dies, or, if you can't manage that, you must retreat to your quarters and refuse to come out for days. The wise fools will give you time, thinking you will grieve, then emerge stronger._

Then he changed the subject. _I need to ask you a difficult question, to test your depth of hate for the Jedi. _

_Anything._

_Why do you hate them? What did they do to you?_

_Besides abandon me from the moment I was born?_

_Explain that. Who abandoned you? _He reached out and took her hand. _You must feel a little pain before the Dark Force takes all pain away from you forever and leaves you only as an unbreakable weapon._

_Obi-Wan gave birth to me. He kept me alive, but I know he didn't do all he could. And as soon as they got back to the Temple, he gave me up. HE couldn't wait to be rid of me. And when I tried to talk to him, he refused to care for me. He said we can't be close, ever. He never loved me._

_Well, you know what is said, do you not? Young Master Kenobi was in love with another padawan who left the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan wanted to go with him, but Qui-Gon wouldn't allow it. You are, according to the rumor, the result of their coupling._

She sat in silence for several moments, trying hard not to let him hear her thoughts.

He smiled. _Better! You're much quieter now. Keep working at it, and of course I'll teach you the techniques I use, ones that no Jedi will be able to break through, but ones they also won't recognize as shields._

Annie frowned. _Is it true? Did he love someone else?_

_I am not privy to young Master Kenobi's intimate relations._ He had more to tell her, but now wasn't the time. _Tell me the rest quickly. Who hurt you so badly and how can I help you punish them? You must return to the Temple in a little while. They will start looking for you in earnest._

_I think Obi-Wan told the rest of the Jedi not to take care of me. I've been left during field trips outside the Temple. I could have been kidnapped or hurt or killed but they didn't come looking for me for hours and hours._

_That is an old Jedi trick. When they have a Force-sensitive in their midst that they believe is either too powerful or too strong-willed, they expose that child to danger, hoping the problem will take care of itself. Of course they cannot just leave you out there all alone forever because you might find someone to complain to, but they leave you in danger for as long as possible. I did not know Obi-Wan held such antagonistic feelings towards you. But, of course, Qui-Gon was known for his hot, quick temper and his tendency to take revenge on the innocent. The Jedi would never call it revenge, of course, but my former master was often called into the Council Chamber to be chided for being sloppy or for allowing someone to die whom the Jedi wanted left alive. _He shook his head. _That a parent would do that to his child is shocking. But that a Jedi, a respected member of society, supposedly above reproach… Only tell me how I can help you punish them and I will tell you the right time and give you the right tools._

He stood. _And now you must go. It is not safe any longer. I promise I will take care of you, and I will see to it that Ryn-yn is removed from your life._

She wanted to thank him with a hug- something she'd seen Jedi give each other, though it was a rare thing. But her desire to impress him stopped her and she simply bowed. _Thank you._


	44. Five Years 3

**Author's Notes:** Due to the M rating on this fic, I have scaled back this chapter from its original version. If you would like to see the original version (somewhat more graphic) please let me know in your review.

Questions that need answers:

Q: Is Annie Jinn-Kenobi going to become Vader?

A: Maybe. Maybe not.

Q: Is there going to be the Great Purge?

A: Probably.

Q: Why isn't Annie's Dark Side noticed?

A: Why wasn't Anakin's in the movies?

Q: Do you have a schedule for postings?

A: No. I post when I can. Maybe now that it's summer, I'll have more time.

Q: When is this thing going to end?

A: When all the questions of the plot get answered. This could go on for another three months or, more likely, another year.

Prophecy and DreamsPg. 902

Five Years (1)Pg. 928

Five Years (2)Pg. 948

Five Years (3)Pg. 964

Five Years (3)

Two years had passed. Two years filled with preparing for battles, leading battles and recovering from battles. Obi-Wan had been back to the Temple once; and only then because it held the closest medical facility. Usually he was much further away.

Two years had passed slowly. Obi-Wan had watched children die, children that he couldn't save, no matter how he tried to defend or heal them. He'd seen mothers' sons ripped apart, clones torn in half by terrible weapons, Jedi fall. He remembered telling Anakin that the Republic was going to fall in less than two years. Now he saw that much more death would happen before that would be allowed to take place. He almost wished the Republic would give up, but only in his darkest moments.

There were lives saved; of course there were. But death was all around him. He dreamed of it at night. He had gotten into the habit of passing directly from sleep into meditation so that he could dispel all the terrible images.

And he hadn't heard from Anakin since that long-ago night on Bel le Taube.

The Force told him Anakin was alive. But it also told him that the purpose hadn't been accomplished yet: Anakin and Padme hadn't yet joined to create the twins. _What are they waiting for? _Obi-Wan wondered time and again. _And, whatever it is, they need to get over it. _He couldn't quite believe that Anakin was bulking at this idea; he was a Jedi Knight now. He would follow the Force. But Obi-Wan knew Anakin's weaknesses. Neither could he make himself believe that Padme was the one holding off on the coupling. True, it was her body, and to join with a Jedi in the name of the Force would be a new, and possibly disagreeable, notion to her, but she lived in the Force. How could she ignore Its call?

So, unable to talk to Anakin or Padme, he let the unanswered questions go and only hoped that the two would hear the Force and obey.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he drew the Force around himself. He stood at the bow of a descending cruiser. Ranged behind him in ordered lines was rank on rank of stormtroopers. He sensed the Force eddying around them, and he thought, _They're clones, but they're alive, their lives as valuable as those of the Jedi. _And, on the heels of that, _If we didn't have these clones, would such risks be taken in battle?_ Almost surely, though having the clones fight made the idea of war easier for some. _These men have no mother, no father; who mourns their deaths? And if the answer is 'no one', how can they bear to get up every day and fight?_

When the Force was silent, his heart answered, _I grieve. It's not enough, but it's something._

The Force spoke rarely to him now, and when It did speak, he only heard warnings about what Anakin and Padme had failed to do. For the rest, he had to rely on what his heart knew to be true. He missed the Force's voice, though he knew he had been privileged to hear from It as often as he had in the past. _Maybe when the balance is restored, the Force will speak more often than ever before. _It was a hope to cling to, at least.

"General Kenobi?"

Obi-Wan turned, meeting the eyes of the trooper who had his helmet off. "Yes, Captain Metley?" He never used their number-letter designations if it could be helped.

"We're preparing for our final descent."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan tried to clear his mind of everything but the present moment. Negotiations had failed on the world of Tel-Karin. The Separatists were preparing to launch a hundred thousand droids directly into the heart of the Republic. They had to be stopped. "May the good will of the universe be with you," he said, having learned much about the troopers' commonly-held beliefs.

Metley saluted. "May the Force be with you, Master Obi-Wan."

The Jedi nodded. It was small touches like that, small breaks in strict regulations that convinced him the clones deserved just as many rights as anyone.

Three minutes later the ship landed. Obi-Wan leapt out first, with a small contingent of troopers staying close. There was no enemy immediately visible, but Obi-Wan sensed the disturbance in the Force and called to Metley, "Get everyone off the ship! Hurry!" A bomb was nearby. Following his feelings, Obi-Wan jogged towards it. Maybe he could defuse it. He sensed the bomb had another minute or so. His guards went with him.

One of them, Ryan, spotted the device. "There!"

Another, Bre'tt, the bomb expert, rushed in. Obi-Wan stayed with him. He sensed that the bomb was, in some small way, under the influence of the Force. He might be able to slow the clock.

Bre'tt knelt and removed the facing on the front of the clock. Obi-Wan laid his hand on the bomb itself and drew the Force around him. These devices were becoming more and more prevalent, as though someone wanted to give the Jedi and the Republic forces with them a fighting chance. Obi-Wan watched the clock slow, each second taking three to pass. It wasn't much time; the clock read forty-nine seconds. But it was more than they would have had.

He heard Metley shouting behind him, telling everyone to clear the area, clear it _now. _Even if everyone escaped, Obi-Wan and Bre'tt had committed themselves to staying here. If they could, they must save the ship so they would have a way home.

_Home. _What a joke. Most of the clones hadn't seen Coruscant since the war began.

_And the galaxy is a Jedi's home. _Still, he longed to be at Temple, to have Anakin in his arms.

_I would settle for Anakin. Gladly._

There was a click inside the bomb, and the disturbance in the Force moved off a kilometer. The bomb had been diffused.

"Excellent, Bre'tt," Obi-Wan said, jumping to his feet. "Let's go."

The bomb expert and the others that had accompanied Obi-Wan jogged with him to join the rest of the troops.

"The concentration of weapons is nearly a kilometer south by southwest," Metley said, pointing towards a low rise of hills.

Obi-Wan nodded. A tremor in the Force gave him more information. "There may be a Dark Force user there as well." He didn't necessarily mean a Sith, but a Sith had surely been dogging his steps for the last eight months, so the chances were at least fifty-fifty that the Sith was here as well. And if it wasn't Dooku, who was it? Surely not Sidious. What new apprentice had been found, and how had one been found so quickly? "If any troops experience the effects of telekinetic powers, report to me immediately." Not that he wouldn't almost surely feel the surge of the Force at once, but it never hurt to have backup.

"Yes, sir."

"Let's move out."

oOo

Fifteen months had gone into Xanatos's well-laid plans. First, he made sure that his loyalty was not in the slightest question, though he understood that there were no absolutes with Sidious. It didn't matter; Xanatos was as loyal as his Master had any right to expect. Xanatos wouldn't betray him, and he wouldn't get in the way if Sidious needed him to stay to one side or the other. He would even help where he could.

During those fifteen months, Xanatos worked on other fronts, but most of his energy had been devoted to convincing Sidious of his plan. "Break Kenobi," he said time and again, "and you not only bring a strong ally to our side, but you hurt the boy Anakin Skywalker, a formidable enemy, but also the entire Jedi Council. Kenobi is someone they rely on subconsciously." This last bit of information had been gleaned directly from the Dark Force, and though Xanatos tended to question something so metaphysical, the absolute truth of the statement couldn't be called into question even by him. He didn't know how or why Obi-Wan was so crucial to the peace of the Council, but neither did the reason concern him much.

Sidious had raised the thought that Obi-Wan might be training the Chosen One, a rumor he'd heard from some informant whose identity he didn't care to share with Xanatos.

So much the better, Xanatos had answered. Think of what Obi-Wan's complete destruction would do to that trainee. He had asked if Sidious thought the Chosen One was Anakin Skywalker, but Sidious answered, "I won't speculate. We will know soon enough. The Chosen One must make his or her move soon, or it will be too late. For them and for the Jedi."

The master had, after many long months of silence, answered Xanatos's idea directly. He asked questions about the methods Xanatos intended to apply, and, when he was satisfied with these (a week passed while he mulled them over) he asked about capture and containment.

"A Force collar," Xanatos answered at once. What other containment was necessary?

"Obviously you haven't kept up with current events. Kenobi has found a way to break a Force collar without using the Dark Force. Think of something else."

Two months later, Xanatos returned with a combination of drugs that kept the mind clear while impeding all Force-access, inside and outside the one under the drugs' influence. He wouldn't have taken so long, but he had been sent on missions in the name of the Separatists, and also he wanted to make sure the drugs were exactly what he wanted. He had gone so far as to track down and capture several Force-sensitive waifs that would not be missed by relatives, and test the drugs on them. True, that was hardly the same as testing the drug on a Jedi, and so after the children proved unable to break the spell of the drugs until the drugs themselves wore off, Xanatos tested himself. The drugs only lasted fourteen hours at a stretch, but those fourteen hours made Xanatos feel like he was drowning. He maintained his wits, but just barely. He knew that Obi-Wan would not be so easily dominated by the loss of the Force, since he was a Jedi and able to keep calm much more easily than any ordinary being, but the test had served its purpose: the Force could not be reached while the drugs held sway.

He returned to Sidious, presenting his findings, and at last, after another two weeks in which Sidious studied the information for himself, he gave Xanatos the go-ahead. But only under a number of conditions. One: Xanatos must find a way to take Obi-Wan that would not look suspicious. It must be assumed by the Jedi that Obi-Wan was still out saving worlds. Sidious didn't expect the ruse to last forever, but the longer it lasted, the happier he would be. He remind Xanatos that the Jedi hardly had the resources to investigate Obi-Wan's disappearance once they did discover he was missing, but that didn't mean they wouldn't let others die so Obi-Wan could be found. "They are hyprocrites many times over," he'd told his apprentice. "And even if they choose not to send a hundred Jedi out to look for him, the Jedi they send will be the best trackers. Those trackers include Mace Windu, Adi Gallia and Yoda."

Second, Xanatos had to find a suitable place to conduct his experiment. An out-of-the-way world, it stood to reason, would be best. But the world should be densely populated, so that if Obi-Wan managed to free himself of the drugs, his Force signature would have a greater chance of being overwhelmed by the emotions of an entire population.

Third, since Xanatos was planning to employ other sentients in his plan, he must ensure that these were chosen carefully, kept under close observation, and liquidated when the experiment was over, no matter the outcome.

And last, if Obi-Wan wasn't broken in twenty months, he must be killed. No arguments. Sidious said, "My plans must progress then, no matter what."

Xanatos had agreed to all conditions, hiding his excitement so expertly that not even Sidious could see it, though he suspected strongly because he knew his apprentice.

With the blueprint approved, Xanantos set about gathering his team and finding a place. He paid well, and promised much pleasure for those that he employed. The only restrictions were these: they must not leave until after the Jedi was broken, and they would have to wait in the facility until the Jedi came, not going out at all. He didn't tell them who the Jedi was. He hadn't planned to tell them it was a Jedi at all, but that had excited many of them so much that they more willingly agreed to the curtailing of their activities. All the arrangements took a month.

And when his machine was well-oiled and operating beautifully, he stalked his target, his Obi-Wan. Thinking of the broken, obedient Jedi kept him awake at night, and yet, when he got up each morning to continue the hunt, he rose with energy that boiled over.

Tel-Karin was his current hunting ground. He had intercepted a transmission from troops deployed there; they mentioned General Kenobi leading them, and that was all he needed. He arrived before his target and dug himself in deep. Obi-Wan would sense him- he'd probably suspected _someone_ was following him; Xanatos gave him that much credit- but he would still land on Tel-Karin, and expose himself to danger.

Tel-Karin was far out from the Core, but it was crucial because of where it lay in the space-lanes. A takeover here by the Separatists would be most unfortunate for the Republic.

Xanatos smiled. _Yes, and that's why Obi-Wan, the Negotiator, is here._

oOo

The clone troops divided into three groups. Obi-Wan led the right flank because it was from the right that the sense of Darkness came. He urged the others to be wary of anything out of the ordinary- flying weapons, strange feelings of vertigo or nausea. Then, with his two hundred behind him and his lightsaber ignited in his hand, Obi-Wan started forward.

The weapons- several tons of them, judging by the size of the mound- were stockpiled in a shallow indention in the planet's surface. Droids surrounded these, but not enough droids. Far from enough. _Are the Karins so rich and powerful that they can spare these weapons to use as a trap?_ Reaching out, he sought another stronghold.

He sensed the disturbance in the midst of the weapons pit. Someone waited there.

"Keep your distance," he warned the troops nearest him, knowing the message would be passed on. Then he took two steps forward, his eyes keen for any movement.

The droids around the pile opened fire.

Every bolt that came Obi-Wan's way he easily deflected, and he deflected bolts that weren't strictly aimed at him, but that he could still reach with the Force. Hurtling them back at the droids, he destroyed several. Around and behind him, the troops, all three flanks, had come out into the open and were destroying the droids.

The pile of weapons rose up like a living thing. Obi-Wan started to shout a warning about a Force-sensitive, but then he saw that the blasters and missile launchers were held by droids only. He relaxed a little, though there were seemingly a thousand droids hidden in the vast pile. How so many could have fit he didn't know. Nor did he care just then. Moving forward, sensing the troops following at his heels, he began to slay droids with their own bolts or with delicate, deadly flicks of his lightsaber. He consoled himself with this thought: the more droids they destroyed here, the less there would be of this bunch to reach the Core Worlds. Not that he expected to fall here, but keeping all possibilities in his mind was part of who he was.

Then more droids popped out of the shallow depression! Impossible, Obi-Wan would have said, but there they were. Obi-Wan pressed on, and the troops with him.

A high-pitched whine split the air, but lasted only an instant. Before Obi-Wan could wonder at its source or meaning, every single droid turned towards him, drew small blasters from little holsters at their sides, and fired. Obi-Wan perceived that the bolts being fired weren't really bolts, but a type of needle-thin projectile. These he deflected as well. The troops, freed from being shot at, began demolishing the droids. But more and more droids came out of the depression. And though many fell, each got off dozens of shots.

Obi-Wan leapt high in the air, planning to use part of the rock face to his left as a launchpoint so he could attack the droids from a new angle. But droids waited for him there as well. As he saw this, shocked to see that the droids had waited this long to attack- it displayed a level of cunning he had thought them incapable of- he tried to reverse direction and save himself. But one needle slipped past his guard and struck him in the arm.

The effect was immediate. Obi-Wan fell back to the surface feeling as though his senses had been wrapped in cotton. He groaned when he hit, then struggled to his feet. But the lightsaber in his hand felt alien. It no longer hummed like an extension of himself, but buzzed like a dangerous insect he could not control or predict.

His connection to the Force had been severed.

oOo

Anakin felt the change in the Force as a physical blow. He pitched forward, barely catching himself on his hands and knees. Luckily he wasn't fighting or trying to pilot a ship. Unfortunately, he was talking with his little brother.

"Anakin!" the little version of Yoda cried in his high, nasally voice. In a few years, his voice would settle into a lower pitch, but right now it was piercing. The little version of Yoda ran to his brother's side and stared at him helplessly, unsure what to do.

"Obi-Wan…" Anakin's voice broke and he shivered. Reaching out, he felt the confirmation of what he'd first been told: Obi-Wan was gone. And not just by a Force-collar; the Force was alive with the disturbance of his departure. He was outside the Living Force.

"He's dead," the knight whispered.

"Anakin?" Woda asked. He touched the Jedi's arm with his small, three-fingered hand. His eyes were large with worry.

"Obi." Anakin turned away from his little brother- he had the presence of mind enough for that, and that only- and threw up.

oOo

Before Dagobah, Obi-Wan might have fallen at once. But his years there had taught him about his other skills. Holstering his lightsaber, he freed two blasters from the frozen hands of downed droids and began to fire. Droids began to explode.

A dozen Republic soldiers moved to stand with him. "General Kenobi?" It was Metley.

"I've been shot with something that's blocked my connection to the Force. A lightsaber's useless without that." Obi-Wan destroyed six more droids as he spoke. "I don't need protection, Captain; I just need more blasters. These are both low on power." The troopers carried eight blasters each. A soldier on his right and a soldier on his left each handed him a blaster. Obi-Wan dropped one spent blaster, then the other, and took up the new ones. "Thank you."

They fought on.

Many of the droids had fallen; there didn't seem to be more coming out of the shallow bowl. Obi-Wan pointed to several medium-sized generators among the weapons. "If those explode, they'll do much of our work."

Metley sent half a dozen soldiers to see to the generators' destruction. He asked, "How long will your disability last?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I've never encountered a drug like this." He blasted three more droids into oblivion.

Then the reinforcements came. Two thousand droids rose from the depression in groups of one hundred. They began to mow down the troops.

Obi-Wan saw at once that they must retreat. He shouted this to Metley, and the captain nodded. He sent word through the helmets all the soldiers wore. The soldiers began to fall back, guarding each others' retreat and trying to keep the path to the ship open.

"Obi-Wan!" called a voice the Jedi master had heard in his nightmares when he was still a padawan.

The Jedi tried to draw a bead on the back-from-the-dead phantom that stood far above him on the cliff he'd tried to scale only a few minutes before. But first his fingers froze, then his arm muscles spasmed. He dropped both blasters as his body turned into an immoveable block and he was lifted into the air. _The Force, _he thought. _Xanatos still has _his_ connection. _He didn't fight the hold; it was useless. He conserved his energy for when Xanatos released him from the Force-field that surrounded him.

Landing in front of Xanatos, he was drawn forward until he stood at Xanatos's shoulder. Then the dark-haired man raised his hand and shouted, "Kill them all!"

As if the droids had only been playing with the troops, they surged forward and the slaughter began.

_Retreat! Retreat! _Forgetting his plan not to struggle, Obi-Wan tried to open his mouth. Not that the soldiers couldn't see for themselves the danger they were in, but they were trained to fight until ordered to do otherwise. The need to warn them clawed its way up Obi-Wan's throat.

Xanatos glanced at him. "You want to speak?" He grinned, waving his hand a little.

"Retreat!" Obi-Wan shouted, the word ready to burst from his lips.

Metley looked up at him; even at this distance, Obi-Wan knew him. The captain's face changed from one of hesitation to one of obedience. He gestured for the other troops to follow him.

It was too late. The droids were everywhere, using both weapons they carried and some of those from the pile. And now, standing above the battle, Obi-Wan saw that what he'd taken for a shallow indention in the planet's surface was actually the opening of a vast chute. Even as he watched, a lift brought more droids up to join the battle.

The Republic's soldiers didn't stand a chance.

"Aren't you going to say anything else?" Xanatos whispered.

Obi-Wan couldn't think of anything to make the slaughter easier on the soldiers, and he thought that if he tried, Xanatos would silence him. But then something he'd heard the troops whisper to each other before battle filled his mind and he prayed only that he would be allowed these final words: _You _will_ die. But the GAR goes on forever._ The GAR was the Galactic Army of the Republic. The battle cry was as much a comfort as 'May the Force be with you'. Obi-Wan shouted, "You _will_ die. But-"And then his mouth was sealed shut. He railed against the injustice, but there was nothing to be accomplished by anger except to drain his energy. Still, with his eyes fixed on the dying soldiers, he longed to say the rest. And a small corner of his mind hated Xanatos for his cruelty.

Bre'tt raised his voice. "But the GAR will go on!"

"You _will_ die. But the GAR will go on!" Metley shouted.

Then the call was taken up by every soldier. Obi-Wan heard the triumph in every voice.

Metley turned his eyes on Obi-Wan. "May the Force be with you, General Kenobi!"

At once, the rest of the troops took up the call, alternating between their battle cry and the words they knew would bring him comfort.

Inside himself, Obi-Wan smiled. _Thank you,_ he sent to the Force, and to Metley, even though neither could hear him. _Thank you. _He couldn't release his anger and hatred into the Force, but he did channel it away and allow it to dissipate, leaving him in peace. On Dagobah, with much less Force-connection, he had learned to dissipate his feelings. The result wasn't exactly the same. Dissipating his emotions meant they stopped draining his energy. By releasing them into the Force, he gained energy in return. Still, dissipation was better than nothing.

Below him, fewer and fewer voices raised the cheering words. Obi-Wan watched, helpless to do otherwise, as soldier after soldier was cut down. He wouldn't have turned away even if Xanatos had allowed him movement. He was only glad Xanatos wasn't making him close his eyes or look away. He said a silent prayer for each that fell.

When the last soldier was still, Xanatos drew Obi-Wan back several paces. Then he drew a small remote control from his belt and pushed several keys in sequence. Without more ado, the droids turned on each other and blew each other to bits.

_Why?_ Obi-Wan wanted to ask. But he still couldn't speak.

Xanatos grasped Obi-Wan's arm and brought the master back to the edge of the cliff. "Someone else will have to clean this mess." He leapt into the chute, bringing Obi-Wan with him.

Down they went, and down, until they landed in a room that reminded Obi-Wan of the cargo hold in Trade Federation ships. He tried to take in everything, but Xanatos hurried him out. He took Obi-Wan to a small cell. He shoved Obi-Wan inside, releasing his Force-hold in time for the Jedi to catch himself on his hands and knees. Then Xanatos closed the transparisteel door. Smiling, he said, "This cell is like the cage that confined you on Telos. The drug won't wear off for several hours. I suggest you sit back and enjoy the ride. You will be treated with all courtesy and kindness while you're onboard this vessel, but that will change the minute we reach our destination."

Obi-Wan considered several replies, then decided against all of them. He gazed at Xanatos calmly.

"Ah, Obi-Wan. It's been so long, and you still don't have words of welcome for me? Don't worry; I will change that soon enough. Soon, I will be the only person you want to see." He turned and left.

Fear rushed up Obi-Wan's throat; he swallowed it and started a deep-breathing exercise. _Force, be with me. _He couldn't feel the Force, but it didn't follow that the Force wasn't still all around him. He didn't know if the Force could hear him; there seemed to be no Force inside him or outside. That was different from the Force collar, and different from his time on Dagobah. He couldn't feel any Force anywhere. He whispered, not caring if the cell was bugged, "Force, be with me. And watch over the ones I care for."

No answer, of course, but Obi-Wan turned his mind back to the deep-breathing exercise. He found quickly that if he didn't purposely keep his mind on a set task, his thoughts would wander. His mind had not been so undisciplined since he was very small. Screwing up his courage, he continued his deep-breathing, then moved naturally to a kata. Again, he'd never done a kata without at least a trace of the Force, but he refused to be deterred. He continued the kata, then moved to the next, and finally to a stretching exercise that would keep his muscles limber. All through this, he kept the count of each movement going in his head like a metronome. Again, that was something he hadn't had to do since he was young. _Breathe in, three, four. Breathe out, three four. _And, later, _Stretch, two, three, relax, two, three. _He refused to let the litany end.

Eventually, he knew he wouldn't have the luxury of the litany. He hoped only that when the time came, he would be capable of preserving his inner peace. _Other non-Force-sensitives do it all the time, _he told himself during a brief lull in the counting, when he simply sat still. _My dependence on the Force is something that can be overcome. I will gladly fall back into the Force, but for now I must stand on my own._ And, again, because he was unable to stop himself, "Force, help me."

The ship landed several hours later. By that time, Obi-Wan had gained some measure of peace apart from the repetition of movement and word. His heart had slowed, and even pondering his weakened state didn't make it speed up. He welcomed this and was relieved to know that he could exist as a Jedi should even in this state. When Xanatos came to take him, he told himself, he would be ready.

How could Xanatos be alive? The question had occupied his mind when he learned that the former Jedi still breathed. He had allowed the question to drift away without answering it, but now it returned, and he found he was no closer to an answer. The only thing he knew for sure was that the being calling itself Xanatos both was and wasn't the fallen Jedi he'd dealt with on Telos. The Xanatos he faced now was missing the circular scar on his cheek that the other had borne for well over a decade before his death. Obi-Wan sensed that the scar was only an outward sign of a more fundamental difference. What that difference was he chose not to guess. He vowed to observe, and not to assume anything about this 'new' Xanatos. The man might look mostly familiar, but even his voice was slightly off. Obi-Wan couldn't ever remember Qui-Gon's former padawan whispering.

And, another disturbing question: could Xanatos be the Sith Obi-Wan had sensed?

Xanatos appeared about an hour after Obi-Wan had established his equilibrium. The dark-haired man wore an expectant smile. "Are you ready to talk?"

Obi-Wan continued to sit, cross-legged, on the floor.

"Ah, not quite yet. That's all right. We'll soon loosen your tongue." He deactivated the door.

Obi-Wan had weighed his chances of reaching Xanatos before he was locked in a Dark Force embrace, and he'd decided the chances were slim to none. Best to let Xanatos 'take him in' a little, then maybe a better chance would come.

Xanatos beckoned. "Come here."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at him and remained where he was.

"Obi-Wan, you're going to make me do all the work?"

Tempted to say something cutting, something that reminded him of Anakin, Obi-Wan nevertheless kept his thoughts to himself. He had begun the test of wills; speaking would give Xanatos a point he hadn't earned. _Besides, repartee never worked with Xanatos. If this man before me is anything like the Xanatos Qui-Gon and I faced, silence will do more damage than anything I could say. _And if the man was nothing like Xanatos, well, the battle lines had been drawn; it wasn't time to change them.

Xanatos moved his hand and Obi-Wan was pulled to his feet like a puppet.

He wondered if he would be thrown against a wall, but he was simply floated through the air to Xanatos's side. A pause.

Xanatos met his gaze, and his midnight blue eyes sparkled. Then, without looking away from Obi-Wan, he reached down between the master's legs and fondled him through the thin cloth of his trousers.

Obi-Wan didn't move, didn't react. Part of him had known this must come. And it was strangely comforting that 'all' Xanatos wanted was exactly what all the other Dark Force-users had sought: to break him through rape. _You won't. If ber'Nac couldn't and Dooku couldn't, you can't. Not even Sidious could do that. If I die from what you do, I will still die in the Force. _A moment of doubt- _would_ he die in the Force if he couldn't feel the Force?- but then he cast the doubt away. _The Force is still with me, even if I can't feel It. When I die, no matter how or when I die, I will join the Force._

"You'll come to beg for my gentle touch," Xanatos murmured, pulling back. He turned and beckoned. This time, unable to do anything else, Obi-Wan followed. The Force-shield around him moved his muscles with all the skill he himself had exhibited when he caught Anakin with the same power.

They moved out of the brig and up a ramp to a raised dais. Here lifts stopped to take them wherever they wished. Xanatos escorted Obi-Wan into one of these, then, turning Obi-Wan away so that the Jedi couldn't see, he pushed several buttons. Turning Obi-Wan back to face him, he smiled. "I will not take any chances with you." He removed a blindfold from inside his robes. This he tied over Obi-Wan's eyes. "Better. No need for you to know where we're going."

The lift stopped and Obi-Wan listened, noting, by the echoes, that they were traveling down a narrow corridor with, perhaps, a low ceiling. They entered a room; the door closed behind them. There were others nearby; Obi-Wan could smell them and hear both their breathing and an appreciative whistle one of them loosed.

One whispered, "Jedi." His voice was deep, and Obi-Wan detected a slight accent that he associated with the inhabitants of Hutt space.

Xanatos removed the blindfold.

Another cursed. "Y' knowin' who 'at is?"

"No, I don't think they do. Why don't you enlighten us?" He pointed a blaster at the speaker's chest.

The tall Ricshen, red-skinned and well-muscled, muttered, " 'At's a Jedi."

"That's what I thought." Xanatos chuckled. "He's yours. Do as you like. But understand that the minute I let him out of this hold I have on him, he's going to fight like a crazed gundark."

"What about the drug? You said he wouldn't be able to use his powers."

"Oh, he won't. His powers are gone, and will be gone for hours. But he's still a Jedi. He will fight you with everything at his disposal." Deftly, he riffled Obi-Wan's clothes, extracting the two knives Obi-Wan carried, as well as the master's lightsaber. "There. He'll only have his fists. Treat him like the most dangerous thing you've ever dealt with, then go a step beyond." He stepped to the door. "I'll return." He opened the door, stepped out, shut the door.

The Force-shield fell away. Obi-Wan was ready. Instead of rushing in to attack, he rolled backwards, coming up with his back against the door. He took in the ten males of various species: six humans, the Ricshen, a Mon Calamarian, like Bant, and two Xarligs who could have been human except for the large, vertical ridges above their eyes. Obi-Wan remembered that the Xarlig race was said to be 'twice as endowed as most humans'.

Obi-Wan smiled, inviting them to attack.

At first, they elbowed each other and grinned. They began taking bets. Obi-Wan saw at once that they were going to fight him one at a time; whoever took him down would get all the credits the others put into the pool. _You don't know each others' strengths, or you're just unwilling to work together. Or the title 'Jedi' doesn't mean all to you that it should._

One of the humans- close-shaved and darkly tanned, advanced. He trod carefully, keeping a wide stance, as if he expected to be thrown off his feet at any moment.

_So he thinks I can still use the Force._ Obi-Wan waited, smiled all the more.

"_So _beautiful," his attacker purred. "Pretty Jedi." When he was still two body lengths away, he launched himself at Obi-Wan.

The master sidestepped him and caught his wrist, allowing the man's momentum to carry him, face-first, into the door. There was a sickening crunch as the man's nose broke, then a crack as Obi-Wan twisted the attacker's arm behind his back and broke his wrist. Then Obi-Wan shoved him away from the door, helping him on his way with a swift, hard kick in the tailbone.

Obi-Wan watched the man sprawl, then struggle to get behind the others. He waited for the next one to try.

But when the next- another human- started forward, the Ricshen put up a massive hand. "Y' not knowin who 'at is. Not just Jedi. Kenobi. Master." He turned his back on Obi-Wan so he could look at the others. "_Master._"

The human he'd stopped said, "So you're afraid to fuck him? I'll take your share."

The others laughed.

But the Rischen shook his head. " 'diots," he muttered. Then he turned to Obi-Wan. "Y' kill us all!"

"Only if you force me to do so," Obi-Wan answered, moved to compassion. True, if the room was bugged, which it surely was, he'd given up a little to Xanatos. But not nearly as much as he would speaking to Xanatos directly. And this being seemed genuinely terrified. "I'll extract a promise from you that you'll never attack another Jedi, and then I won't touch you."

There was a short silence, then the two Xarligs seized the Ricshen between them. They dragged him behind the others, and Obi-Wan saw that there were sets of shackles along one wall. The Ricshen was forced into a pair of these, then the Xarlings returned. One of them watched Obi-Wan while the other, gesturing for the rest to follow, retreated to one corner and conversed in whispers Obi-Wan could have heard easily with the Force, but which were beyond him now.

At the moment, he was more interested in the bed that stood three quarters of the way between the door at his back and the opposite end of the room. Not meant for sleeping, it was a large, low thing with straps for binding wrists and ankles. Obi-Wan willed his face to remain expressionless, but he might have failed, for the Xarlig watching him grinned. _Or perhaps he only saw me looking at the bed and deduced, no matter my expression, that I now understand what I'm meant to endure._

The five humans, the Mon Calamarian and the Xarlig turned back to Obi-Wan.

"You have to sleep sometime," said one of the humans smugly.

Obi-Wan didn't answer. They were right, but he guessed he might be able to make them sleep before collapsing himself. It wasn't a perfect solution, but neither was fighting them all at once, which is what he'd thought they were going to decide to do. _Apparently, they learn quickly. None of them wants to end up like the guinea pig. _He settled himself on the floor with his back against the door, composing himself for meditation. He would half-meditate to the best of his ability, and when their adrenaline began to either flag, or when one o them couldn't stand the wait anymore and tried to jump him, he would be ready. He didn't allow himself to contemplate the possibility of failure.

An hour passed. Two. Three. Far from feeling fatigued or restless, Obi-Wan thought that he could almost feel that peace he'd achieved on Dagobah returning. He was at least as calm as he had been on the ship, and probably calmer.

His would-be assailants began to fidget, to complain, to mutter and to pace. One of them took out his anger on the Ricshen. Obi-Wan thought about stopping the cruelty, but he realized that he would be throwing himself into a trap. So he kept his peace and hoped only that the abusive human would quit. And, after three or four blows, he did.

Then all of them started sitting around the room. None of them sat anywhere near Obi-Wan, the bed or the Ricshen. Obi-Wan judged now was his best chance. He began to sing.

None of the words were in Basic, but half of them were almost so. Words like peacce and laydowwn and traaquiel. Obi-Wan sang the ancient Numalan song that had been passed down in his family from parents to children for thousands upon thousands of years, scarcely changed, strange in an oral tradition. And though Obi-Wan's parents hadn't sung the song to him, his grandparents had. Possessing a dim memory of the melody, he had tracked the song to his homeworld shortly after Lindi Jinn-Kenobi was committed to earth. In olden days, it hadn't just been used as a lullaby. There was a time out of mind, or so the stories went, that the song could put entire kingdoms to sleep if it was sung with the right mix of compassion and strength. Obi-Wan hardly believed in such things, but he was loathe not to try. He poured all his Force-placed belief into the words and melody.

And, gradually, he began to bewitch and ensnare the listening attackers. He could hardly believe it when they didn't start laughing or when they didn't shout at him to stop. They didn't fall instantly asleep, but the tension and restlessness began to drop from their faces, making them look more drugged than sleepy. But Obi-Wan would take drugged over ready-to-rape any day. He sang on, unsure how long he could keep it up, unsure if the ten would fall asleep completely. And he wondered what he would do if he somehow got them to sleep. It seemed none of them were carrying weapons. Surely Xanatos's foresight; any weapon that an enemy carried could be confiscated by a Jedi and used for his own purposes.

The Mon Calamarian groaned and rolled over, turning his face from Obi-Wan. In a moment, he lay still with his hands tucked up under his chin.

The others glanced at him, then began blinking and yawning themselves.

The Mon Calamarian rolled back towards Obi-Wan, and now there were pieces of his torn tunic sticking out of his ears. He grinned evilly at Obi-Wan, then tore more from his tunic. He stuffed the fabric into the ears of the nearer Xarlig, and instantly that one's dazed look vanished. This one, in turn, tore at his own tunic and plugged the ears of his species-brother. Then the three of them, with the Mon Calamarian in the middle, advanced on Obi-Wan.

Unable to do otherwise, Obi-Wan leapt to his feet and set his stance. He lost the song, and though the others didn't start coming out of their trances immediately, they soon would.

"No more tricks," the Mon Calamarian said. "We were promised a good, hard fuck, and that's what we're going to get." He flexed his long, strong fingers and grinned unpleasantly. "You can't fight us all, Jedi, no matter who you are."

With the Force, it would have been possible. Stars, it would have been almost child's play. But, crippled, Obi-Wan knew that the tall, silver-skinned being was right. The only question was: should he fight until he was taken down, or should he submit?

_No question. I would be less injured- maybe- if I gave up, but I'll never do that. _He set his face and his attitude even as he settled more comfortably into his stance.

It took all three beings, as well as one human, to subdue him. Both Xarligs were bleeding, the human was nursing a broken jaw by the end. The Mon Calamarian brought Obi-Wan down with a knee in the Jedi's chest and both hands at the master's throat. With this accomplished, the others scurried forward to secure Obi-Wan's arms and legs.

For a moment, when it was all over, the victors just stared at each other. Then one of the uninjured humans asked, "What now? How're we gonna get him to the bed?"

"Too bad we can't kill him," muttered one of the Xarligs.

"Speak for yourself," said the other. "I want to rip this piece of meat open."

The Mon Calamarian said, "Forget making him black out for lack of oxygen; his neck muscles are tensed. I bet he can hold that for a while." He leaned close to Obi-Wan's face. "All you're doing is gaining enemies, Jedi. We're the ones who decide how much pain you feel."

_You're going to rape me just the same; I'm not going to do less but make you work for every thrust, if I can._ Obi-Wan didn't move, didn't smile, didn't blink.

The Mon Calamarian broke the inadvertent staring contest. "Let's get him on the bed." He shifted his weight, meaning to slip off Obi-Wan. But one of the Xarligs holding Obi-Wan's legs moved too soon. He'd simply wanted to get out of the other being's way. But when he moved, he lost his good hold on Obi-Wan's ankle. The Jedi's knee jerked up, connecting with that sensitive place between the Mon Calamarian's thighs.

With a breathless cry, the being rolled off and huddled into himself. But he lifted his eyes almost at once, in time to see the Xarlig regain his hold. "Don't let him escape," he rasped.

Between them, the two Xarligs and the four remaining humans hauled Obi-Wan up and to the bed. He struggled the whole way, and they cursed him, raining blows on his head, chest and abdomen in an attempt to keep him still.

Obi-Wan might have been able to ignore most of the blows if the Force had been with him, but now he felt each one, and though he continued to struggle, he knew he was weakening. And this time, the Force wouldn't be there to renew his energy. Only sleep would help, and he had a feeling he wouldn't get to sleep for a good, long while.

They managed to tie him to the bed, though he broke another human nose before his wrists were secured. Then, when he was secured, his attackers stepped back. All of them were panting. The Mon Calamarian hobbled forward and glared at Obi-Wan, then, gritting his teeth, he strode forward and delivered a closed-fist blow to Obi-Wan's genitals.

The Jedi couldn't curl up, couldn't do more than gasp and clamp his mouth shut as tears streamed from his eyes and ran into his hair.

The Mon Calamarian grinned ferociously. "That's only the beginning," he said. But he didn't act; he gestured one of the humans forward. "Mind his teeth," he said as the man undid his fly.

The Xarligs stepped forward and together, ripping and tearing, they stripped Obi-Wan of his clothing, down to the last stitch. Tossing the rags aside, they took a moment to touch his chest, trace the line of his muscles, finger his swollen parts. Then they stepped back and the human advanced.

Obi-Wan thought about closing his eyes, about trying to ignore what was happening, but he knew that his defenses wouldn't last long. This wasn't a storm he could endure by waiting it out. This was a battle.

The human slipped easily between Obi-Wan's spread legs. He positioned himself, then leaned forward to taunt the Jedi with a kiss. An instant later, he had leapt off the bed with his hand pressed to his bleeding lips.

Obi-Wan spat out the blood in his mouth. His eyes flashed and though he was determined again to keep his silence, he let them all know that not even now would their conquest be easy.

One of the Xarligs went to the rags that had once been Jedi robes. He said, "Someone hold his head."

The Mon Calamarian did this.

The Xarlig managed to tie the gag, then he stepped back, nodding. "Now." He mounted Obi-Wan and before the Jedi could take even a breath, he drove in.

_At least he can't use Dark Force on me,_ Obi-Wan thought. But that was small consolation. Because Xarligs were well-endowed, the pain was almost worse than anything Obi-Wan had experienced before.

When he was done, the Xarlig rose, looked at the others. Most of his observers looked on appreciatively. Only the Mon Calamarian's expression was neutral. "That's how you rape someone," the Xarlig said. "Think you can manage it?"

Obi-Wan tried to think past the choice of a next attacker, but he found himself watching those standing at the foot of the bed. He dreaded any of them coming to him, but he didn't want the other Xarlig or the Mon Calamarian to claim the dubious honor. _Force, help me._

No answer, of course, no comfort, no-

_It's too soon to be thinking like that! I'm still a Jedi, and the Force is still here. _He mentally slapped himself. _Get it together, Kenobi. You're a great Jedi Master, remember?_

His throbbing body mocked him.

_Mind over body. One of the first rules we learn._ He again thought of closing his eyes, and again refused.

It was a human that took him next, but though he raped Obi-Wan, he didn't cause as much pain. The next human was the same. But the third human, after removing the gag, and staying well clear of Obi-Wan's teeth, took it upon himself to use his fingers not to prepare Obi-Wan, but to hurt him so deeply that Obi-Wan's vision was crossed with red.

The master tried not to scream, but every other ache in his body disappeared under the onslaught. He gasped once, twice, then screamed, loud and long, every muscle tightening, his whole body taut as a drawn-back bow.

The man drew back. There was blood under his nails. He looked at his hand for a moment, then, gripping Obi-Wan's shoulder hard so that the Jedi looked at him, he slapped the trapped man with his bloody palm. He slapped Obi-Wan twice more, then stood. "Not so proud now, Jedi," he muttered. Then he went and wiped his hand on Obi-Wan's robes.

By the time the door to the torture chamber was opened, Obi-Wan had passed out once and been forcibly awakened by his first rapist, the Xarlig. He could now see differences between the two, and he called them in his mind, Xa', which was the Xarlig word for beast and Aax, the Xarlig word for monster. He called the first rapist Aax.

To the others he would give names eventually, or he would learn their true names, but he only cared to tell the Xarligs apart at present. That one human had shocked him, had made him scream, but no one else earned names before Xanatos reappeared.

Then the door opened and Xanatos entered. He gestured the others to move away from the bed. Then he stood over Obi-Wan with one hand raised, as if he would either deliver a blow or a benediction.

Obi-Wan successfully kept himself from flinching.

But Xanatos didn't at once speak to him. He glanced at the Ricshen. "Causing problems?" he asked.

The Ricshen looked away, holding his sullen silence.

"And several injured. Well, you will be seen to." He advanced on the Ricshen.

Obi-Wan knew what was going to happen; he could see it in the way Xanatos walked. Should he give up the battle of wits he'd been playing with Xanatos to perhaps gain mercy for a being he didn't know?

There was really no question. Defending others at great personal risk and even degradation was part of being a Jedi. "Xanatos, don't touch him. His only desire is to live. Let him go. He has no loyalty to the Jedi. He is only afraid."

Xanatos glanced over his shoulder. "When you pleaded for Qui-Gon's life, I listened. But you have to earn that control you once had over me." He turned to the Ricshen again and raised his hands. He wasn't holding a lightsaber.

Remembering Dooku's command of Force lightning, Obi-Wan's innards shrank. "Xanatos, don't!" What more could he say? The memory of the dying troops still coiled and turned in his heart. "Please. I'll take whatever punishment you were going to give him."

"I'm sure you would, but this is going to be a killing dose. I want you to live, Obi-Wan." He spread his hands a little further apart, and let the lightning loose.

With his head craned to the left as far as it would go, Obi-Wan could just see Xanatos's hands raised and the blue lightning leaping from the fingertips. He couldn't see the Ricshen. But he could hear the pitiful screams, and he struggled in vain against the ties that trapped him on the bed.

It took almost three minutes for Xanatos to kill the nameless Ricshen. When at last Xanatos drew the lightning back into himself, the Ricshen slumped in his chains. Xanatos left Obi-Wan's field of sight, then returned a moment later. "Dead," he said, satisfied.

He turned to the others. "Obi-Wan cannot be left alone. Ever. Those who are hurt can come with me for the best bacta between here and Coruscant."

One of the humans asked, "How do we know you won't kill us, too?" It was the first human to face Obi-Wan.

"I need you. I can't afford to start hiring new workers this late in the game. It's a loss that we'll have to make due with nine. Besides, you didn't even hear what this Jedi's name is, did you?"

The human shook his head. "No, sir. I don't care, either."

"Exactly. You have nothing to fear." He escorted the injured out.

When the door closed, Xa' asked the Mon Calamarian, "Aren't you going?"

"I'll heal. I haven't gotten my chance with the Jedi yet." He advanced on Obi-Wan. "If you're ready to scream, I'm ready to work."

He'd taken a small tool from Xanatos. Obi-Wan didn't know if the Mon Calamarian had somehow stolen the finger-long thing, or if he'd been given it. Just then, it didn't matter. As he approached, he flicked the tool to life. A centimeters-long flame emerged from the top.

Not bothering with words, the Mon Calamarian applied the flame directly to six different places on Obi-Wan's body. In this way he earned his name: Fef'n, the Calamarian word for fire.

Obi-Wan clenched his jaw. But as the burning continued, at last touching the arches on his feet, he screamed.

Fef'n kept the flame on Obi-Wan's feet for longer than he'd kept it other places, but at last he drew the tool back and flicked it off. Pocketing it, he said, "You're going to start losing fingers and toes at some point, but for now…" He glanced at the others. "He's yours, if you want him."

Xa' and Aax each took Obi-Wan twice, and though it seemed to Obi-Wan that they did less than they had the first time, he was unable to keep from sobbing as he was raped. He thought, again and again, _I can't break. I won't. I can't. I'm a _Jedi. But his body didn't listen to him. He didn't scream again before he passed out, but his sobs were just like his screams: small testaments to this truth: he was a living being in great pain.

When he woke, Xanatos was there and the others were absent. The dark-haired man was rubbing ointment into the burns.

Obi-Wan flinched away from Xanatos's cool fingers. Then he wished he hadn't, because he'd shown weakness.

"Sh," Xanatos whispered. "Sh, Obi-Wan. You're going to heal."

_Why are you doing this? Don't you _want_ me in pain?_ He had control left- plenty of it, in fact, now that some of the agony was fading- and so he didn't ask. Let Xanatos tell him, if he wished.

"Back to silence? Or are you too exhausted for talk? That I can understand. They were rough with you." He finished with the ointment and twisted the lid back onto the jar. Tucking this away, he said, "Do you want me to stay a little?"

_No. I want to be alone._

Xanatos touched Obi-Wan's shoulder gently. His fingers were within reach of Obi-Wan's teeth, but the master couldn't bring himself to bite. He _was_ exhausted. And what would an attack earn him? He was already bound, and he was still cut off from the Force. And even if he'd been free, even if the door had been open, he was too tired to move.

"I won't hurt you," Xanatos murmured. He gazed sorrowfully down into Obi-Wan's face, then he sighed. "Rest, Obi-Wan. They won't be back for awhile." He patted Obi-Wan's shoulder, then turned and walked slowly out.

_What was that?_ Obi-Wan stared at the closed door, then his eyelids began to feel heavy and he closed his eyes. _What was he trying to do? Or not do?_ But his need for sleep was greater than his need for answers. He passed into dreamless night.


	45. Five Years 4

**Author's Note:** I'm going on vacation, everybody, so it will be probably the end of July by the time I post the next chapter. But if I have time, I'll post two chapters at once. Also, this is the last "Five Years" with a number. And last, in case you read this and go "Huh? But I don't understand this, this, this and that," please read the note at the end of the chapter.

Thanks, as always, to Gizzi for beta'ing this.

Enjoy!

Many Ways HomePg. 883

Prophecy and DreamsPg. 902

Five Years (1)Pg. 928

Five Years (2)Pg. 948

Five Years (3)Pg. 964

Five Years (4)Pg. 985

Five Years (4)

Anakin wiped his mouth, grimacing at the stench. But then he heard Woda screaming at the top of his lungs, calling for someone, _anyone,_ to help his brother. Pushing himself away from the mess, clamping his mind closed against the shocking hole in the Force, Anakin said hoarsely, "I'm all right, Woda."

The little blue Yoda-ling glared up at him. "No you're not." Then he started yelling again.

The doors to the training room opened and a tall knight strode in. Anakin couldn't remember her name. She saw the mess, saw Anakin on all fours, and took out her communicator.

Before she could use it, Anakin said, "I'm fine. Really. I've got to talk to Yoda, but I'm fine. Just need a droid to clean that up, and…" But he shuddered strongly even as he spoke, and tears filled his eyes. The shield he'd built up around his mind was cracking; the emptiness in the Force was bleeding into his thoughts. He closed his eyes and muttered, "Leave me be."

"Master Obi-Wan's dead," Woda said.

Anakin dry-sobbbed, then clapped a hand over his mouth. _Pull yourself together! Don't lose it in front of him. He's a youngling._ When he was sure he had a little more control, he said, "I need to speak to Yoda. Will you take Woda back to his classroom? He knows where it is."

Woda squawked, "I want to help you!"

"You can help me after I talk to Yoda," Anakin answered as he climbed to his feet. "Please go with her. I promise I'll come talk to you later and let you help me." His heart seized. He'd said almost the same words to Obi-Wan more than once. Frowning hard, he made sure his lips didn't tremble.

The knight urged Woda towards the door. "Do you have a comlink?" she asked over her shoulder.

Anakin nodded, even managed a terse "thank you". Then she was gone and he was alone. He was tempted to cast himself facedown on the training mat and let all his sobs out, but that might take hours, and he didn't want anyone else walking in on him. Instead, he struggled to his feet and headed for the door. With a shaking hand, he took his comlink from his belt and activated it. "Anakin to Yoda."

"Yoda here. Speak you wish to."

Anakin shuddered almost hard enough to make his teeth rattle. "Yes."

"Meet you in your quarters I will."

"N-no. Not there." He couldn't look at the couch where he and Obi-Wan had made love. "Your quarters. Please."

"Meet you there I will." He closed the link.

Swallowing, determined to keep his face expressionless so he wouldn't frighten any younglings or padawans he might meet, Anakin clipped his comlink to his belt.

Reaching Yoda's quarters less than two minutes later (he hadn't been able to keep from breaking into a jog) he hammered on the chimes. His control was shattering, and he wanted to get out of the corridor.

"Come in."

Anakin burst in through the door. He saw Yoda and Mace sitting on the couch, and he went to them, falling to his knees. Covering his face with his hands, he began to sob.

Everything disappeared under the weight of his grief. He forgot where he was, who touched his shoulders, who spoke gentle words in his ears. He cried harder and harder until his throat was raw and his head ached.

He thought he might throw up again, but nothing came, and so he simply continued to weep.

But though his pain didn't ease, even a little, his body couldn't keep up. Gradually, his tears slowed and he was able to draw deeper breaths. His vision cleared and he became aware of Yoda saying, "Young one, young one…" and Mace murmuring, "Anakin…." Lifting his head, he saw that they were sitting on either side of him. He looked from one to the other and tried to speak. He failed the first time, and the second, but finally managed, "Is he really….?"

"Yes," Mace whispered. "The Force says his death was quick, though-"

Yoda coughed.

"What?" Anakin darted a glance at each of them, then stared at Mace. "Tell me. Quick, but what?"

"Painful," the master answered. Then his hand was on Anakin's shoulder. "But he's not in pain anymore."

Anakin groaned. He wanted to tell Mace how much _that _didn't matter to him right now, but the tact Obi-Wan had gone to such pains to teach him came to his rescue. "Did he die in the Light Force?"

Mace nodded.

"Then-" Anakin swallowed, forced himself to speak clearly- "he died in peace." But his old anger was rising. How could the Force take Obi-Wan? How? _And what in the name of all the stars am I supposed to do with him gone? And how could the Force let him die? How could it let the Darkness win like that? I thought Obi was supposed to live._

"Angry you have a right to be," Yoda said, "but angry would Obi-Wan wish you to remain?"

Anakin sobbed again. A lightsaber ripped through his guts. He knew that would happen every time he heard Obi-Wan's name. He welcomed the pain; it was a testament to their love. _Because nothing else can be. Not the children we were supposed to have, and not the joy we were supposed to share. _He'd been entertaining the thought of having children with Obi-Wan while he also fathered Padme's. Maybe then she would be reassured.

But thoughts of Padme couldn't have been further from his mind at that moment. "No," he told Yoda. "But he's not here to know I'm angry. I'll let it go, if only to prove to the universe that I listened to my master, but I need to feel it for awhile. I think I'll go insane if I don't." He closed his eyes. "Give me a day."

Yoda nodded. "Wish to stay in temporary quarters do you?"

Anakin considered that. "No." He'd spent precious few nights at Temple, and he hadn't slept in the bed he'd shared with Obi-Wan when he did. Their bed might still smell like his lover. And he would plunder Obi-Wan's robes as well. Rising, he said, "I'll come to you tomorrow. Please don't let anyone bother me until I come to see you. I don't want to hurt anyone."

Yoda nodded. "Peace will come," he promised. "Not for a long time, but peace will come."

"I'd rather have Obi." Anakin sobbed again, then got himself under control and left.

He entered their quarters, and though the sight of the couch made him cringe, made his chest tighten, he moved into their room. He stripped and lay down on the bed, burying his nose in the sheets. Yes, he could still smell Obi-Wan, though faintly. He began to cry again; apparently his body didn't need much of a respite.

Under the grief, this thought curled like a poisonous snake: _When I find out who killed Obi, he won't be able to run far enough or fast enough to get away from me._

oOo

Obi-Wan tried not to flinch, but Fef'n was holding the little flame-maker again, and he was smiling.

"Your feet have healed mostly," Fef'n said. "I won't touch them again until all the burns are either healed or scarred over." He flicked the flame out, moving it towards Obi-Wan's face. "Eventually, I'll burn your eyes out."

The flame danced before Obi-Wan's gaze, demanding all his attention.

"Are you afraid to lose your sight, Jedi?"

He was; how could he not be? But then he remembered Tahl, who was blinded during the mission to Melida/Daan. She had retired mostly from field work, but her skills at investigation had soared higher than any Jedi in her generation. She told everyone that she didn't mind staying at Temple, but Obi-Wan had seen and heard her frustration often enough to know how she truly felt. He'd often wondered why she couldn't still fight, since a Jedi's true sense was the Force.

_If I lose my sight, I will still be a Jedi. I will find a way to return to the Force and-_

The flame touched his hair. It caught, devouring the auburn strands, moving down towards his face- Obi-Wan didn't thrash, afraid he'd set the whole bed on fire. But tears leaked from between his squeezed-shut lids, and he shook all over.

Fef'n put a smothering blanket over the fire, depriving it of oxygen. When the fire was out, Fef'n removed the blanket and smiled at Obi-Wan, who had opened his eyes. "Better than rape," the Mon Calamarian said.

The door to the torture chamber opened and Xanatos bustled in. "Go. All of you."

Fef'n reached out, touching Obi-Wan's burned skin.

The Jedi jerked away, crying out.

His attacker smiled, slipped the tool into his pocket, and left.

Xanatos had more of the ointment. He set about applying it. "Obi-Wan," he murmured. "Obi-Wan."

The others called the master 'Jedi' or, 'pretty Jedi', and once, 'Whore'. Only Xanatos used his name. Obi-Wan did his best not to acknowledge this tiny courtesy. But he had never thought being called 'Jedi' could make him feel so base.

_And why does it make me feel that way?_ But the ointment was soothing his pain and he relaxed, forgetting the question, as Xanatos continued to tend him.

"Will you speak to me?"

Xanatos had visited three times so far, and he always asked the same question. And each time, he received stony silence.

_Or exhausted silence. Grateful silence, even, because at least he doesn't hurt me._

Obi-Wan groaned. _Hurt me? He brought me here! He cut me off from the Force! _His anger rose like a shield around his mind, protecting him from Xanatos's attempts at false friendship.

_No… Anger is the way to the Dark Side. _He shivered all over and moaned as his burned scalp brushed the sheet beneath him.

"Obi-Wan, don't move. You're only hurting yourself." Xanatos continued with the ointment. 'Lay still. I'm here. I won't hurt you."

Obi-Wan concentrated on his breathing. _In, two, three, four. Out, two, three-_

Xanatos set down the ointment with a bump and Obi-Wan's eyes flew open. But all he saw was Xanatos examining the sheets. "You've been bleeding," the dark-haired man said. "I'll make sure the sheets get changed. And I'll make sure you get a bath when your head's healed a little. I'm afraid I can't take you to a 'fresher, but I'll find another way to help you get clean." He drew up a chair and sat at Obi-Wan's side. "Are you tired? Do you want to sleep?"

His nerves were still jumping from the pain. He couldn't imagine sleeping just then. But he did close his eyes again and lay still.

"I should let you rest." Xanatos stood.

Obi-Wan's fingers spasmed and his eyes flew open again. If Xanatos left, the others would come back.

"Not tired yet?" Xanatos sat back down. "All right." He leaned closer. "I have a secret to tell you. Just you. Only three people know about it in the whole galaxy." He paused, then whispered, "Qui-Gon is alive."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened, not because he didn't know, but because surely Xanatos was one of the people who wasn't supposed to know Qui-Gon had survived.

"You're as shocked as I was. Well, he's on Ragoon 6, talking to his former master, of all people." He reached out, fingers brushing Obi-Wan's shoulder.

Obi-Wan flinched, gasped at the pain the movement caused.

"I haven't told anyone else," Xanatos continued, drawing back. "And I'm not planning to."

_Here's where he adds an 'if', _Obi-Wan thought with a trace of his usual wit. _He'll say, 'I won't tell anyone else, if you'll just…'_

"It's no one else's business. I think he returned to talk Dooku back to the Light Side. Fine with me. Dooku was too fastidious." He grinned. "Qui-Gon would never talk me into going back, of course, but…" He shrugged. "Dooku doesn't really belong as a Sith."

Obi-Wan couldn't help it; his lip twitched when he heard this news.

"He was Lord Tyranus. Didn't you know?"

_You sound like a politician worming your way into the hearts of constituents. _And with that comparison made, Obi-Wan regained more of his strength of will. He closed his eyes. _Let the others come. At least I know what they want. They're not trying to trick me, convince me the sky is green and all grass is orange._

Xanatos sighed. "Sleep, Obi-Wan. Sleep. Everything will be all right. You'll see. The minute you start speaking, I'll find a way to call them off a little." He stood, and the chair scraped the floor as he moved it away from the bed. "Rest. I'll be back later."

When he was alone, Obi-Wan lay awake, listening for the nine to return, but they didn't. And, gradually, he truly began to feel tired. He allowed his guard to drop. He slept.

oOo

When he awoke what seemed like a day later, he sensed someone very nearby. He opened his eyes, expecting Fef'n, one of the Xarligs, or even the savage human rapist who he'd learned was called Grenn. But it was none of them.

Xanatos smiled down at him. "Feeling better? The ointment's doing wonders."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes again.

"You can't be going back to sleep already, Obi-Wan." Xanatos laughed; a cheery, light-hearted sound. "I'm here to wash you." There was the sound of water sloshing in something deep, then- sweet bliss!- a soft, warm, wet cloth was applied to the skin of Obi-Wan's chest. "It's not much, but it's the best I can do at present."

_When did you start talking so civilly, as if you were a high-born, royally-trained princeling?_ Obi-Wan resolved not to enjoy the warm cloth. _This is _Xanatos _touching me. I have to remember that._

Xanatos cleaned the master's chest, arms, face, and legs below the knee. Then he said, "I have to clean there eventually. Hold still. It will be over soon."

Obi-Wan tensed; he couldn't help it. And he waited for Xanatos's fingers to touch his thigh, or higher. But he felt only the cloth. Then his muscles locked and the straps that held him were released. He was turned over- _like a fried egg, _he thought- and Xanatos cleaned him carefully on his other side, dipping between his legs, but never touching him skin to skin.

Finished, Xanatos lifted Obi-Wan from the bed and set him against the wall. Using the Force, he put shackles on the Jedi's wrists. "I'm sorry," he said. "But I can't risk you hurting yourself." He turned away. And made the bed with new sheets. This done, he freed Obi-Wan from the shackles, brought him back to the bed and strapped him down again. He provided a top sheet that gave Obi-Wan a little warmth and privacy. Settling back in his chair, he said, "You feel better now. Now you can sleep, if you want."

Obi-Wan stared at his captor, even though he'd vowed he wouldn't show any emotion, that he would keep his surprise to himself.

Xanatos said, "You're welcome."

oOo

Anakin, lying awake, heard the whoosh of the outer door opening. _Obi?_ He was up and across their small room before logic hit.

_Obi-Wan is dead._

Groaning, he locked the door to their bedroom and sank to the floor. _Has it been a day already?_ He cursed, but found he didn't have the energy to get up. Right then, he didn't care if Yoda saw him naked.

Someone stopped outside his door, but he sensed it wasn't Yoda. Then a soft knock came, accompanied by a nasal voice. "Anakin? Anakin, it's Woda. Are you all right? Can I help? Anakin?"

The knight put his head in his hands. "We'll talk later, Woda. I'm not decent right now."

"We're family," the youngling said.

Anakin blinked. _Who taught him that word?_

"All Jedi are. Let me help."

Anakin groaned again, but the caring in Woda's words was getting to him. He called his long tunic to him and slipped it over his head. Then he rose. They would talk, but not in here. Unlocking the door, he opened his mouth to tell Woda they would talk in another room.

But the youngling threw himself around Anakin's lower leg, hugging him fiercely. "I'll help," he said, burying his face against the musculature.

Touched, Anakin pried Woda off his leg and carried his brother down the hall to the small bedroom at the end that still held most of Anakin's things. He set Woda on the bed, then closed the door and sat beside him. "I'm not really ready to talk," he warned. "Everything's too fresh. It's like I was kicked in the gut." He'd thought of something even more painful, but didn't bother. "Obi was almost everything to me. The Force comes first- it does for all Jedi- but Obi was so much…" His throat closed and he looked down at his hands, willing himself not to cry and frighten Woda.

"He loved you," Woda said. "He loved you and will never stop loving you."

Anakin shook his head. "Obi's nothing now, no consciousness, anyway. He's part of the Force."

"He's still himself," Woda said firmly.

Anakin stared at his brother, thought to ask why Woda was so sure, then let the question go. Doubtless, Woda wouldn't know how to answer. "All right."

"You don't believe me, but you will. Obi-Wan will talk to you again."

Anakin's jaw dropped, not only because the child was so sure, but because he was immeasurably articulate. It was almost like talking to Yoda. Shaking his head at that comparison, Anakin decided to ask the obvious. "How do you know?"

"The Force told me. Obi-Wan will talk to you again."

Again he shook his head, muttering, "No child can talk like this."

"Yoda says all children of his species are like this, able to speak almost from their first breath." He laughed then, spoiling his serious, teacher-ish mood. "You want me to cry and jump up and down and say 'pick me up' like a baby?"

Anakin blinked, then smiled a little. "No, but that's what I was expecting, not… this. Not that I don't like you this way; it's just a surprise." Annie certainly hadn't been like this. She had been a typical baby, as far as Anakin was concerned.

He said, "If the Force told you about Obi, believe it. Maybe the Force will talk to me, too."

An hour later, after he'd fed Woda (making breakfast in the little kitchen without Obi-Wan near was a nightmare) Anakin crawled back into bed. But he didn't sleep. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling and asked the Force, over and over, if Obi-Wan was somehow himself even after death. The Force didn't answer.

Anakin changed his question, moved by the endless hope that used to rule his life when he was a child. He'd lost that hope somewhere along the way, but he dug it out again, like an old, favorite blanket. And after shaking the dust off it, he asked, _Is Obi-Wan still alive?_

_You must serve the Force._

Anakin blinked, surprised to receive such a clear answer so quickly. _I know that, but is Obi-Wan-_

_You must hold the galaxy together. And you must watch out for Ryn-yn._

_Ryn-yn? Is he a threat? _Anakin couldn't imagine that, but why else would the Force instruct him to watch for the master?

_Ryn-yn is in danger. Guard him._ A pause, then, _If you promise to keep to your duty, I will answer your question._

Anakin hesitated. Was this really the Force he spoke with, or was he talking to himself? He searched his heart, and discovered that these thoughts he heard weren't wishful thinking, or anything like dreams or intuition. He told himself that it had to be the Force because he would have never thought of Ryn-yn on his own. And since it was the Force, he had a duty not only to listen to the Force, but to dedicate himself to its purpose, no matter what it said about Obi-Wan.

_But if Obi's still alive, he might need me. _He groaned. _Or he might need me to stay away so he can work some purpose of the Force himself. Maybe his 'death' was like Qui-Gon's. Maybe he's off saving lives and tipping the balance, getting things ready for me._ He blushed to think such arrogant words, but accepted them as a possible truth.

And, in the end, in the way the Force measured things, what Obi-Wan might be doing didn't matter. Anakin balked at that truth, and it was harder to accept. _But if I'm going to find out if he's alive or not, I have to promise to serve the Force. _And it would have to be a promise he could keep.

He thought about asking the Force to give him a few days, even a few hours, but the Force might not wait, and, besides, as Obi-Wan had said more than once, _If you can't make a promise right when it's called for, it's not a promise you're meant to make._

He still wasn't sure he could keep the promise, but he would try, and he needed to know if Obi-Wan was alive. He squared his shoulders and screwed up his courage. _I promise I will follow and obey the Force._

_Obi-Wan is alive. _Another pause. _Anything you dream of him you must not believe. If you dwell on him, the Darkness will find him._

_Then he is like Qui-Gon- helping on the sidelines, but changing things for the better?_

The Force didn't answer; it had faded, leaving only the field all Jedi rely on.

oOo

"Open your eyes, Obi-Wan. I promise I won't hurt you."

But the man sensed Fef'n and Grenn standing near. He didn't want to look at them.

"Please, Obi-Wan, trust me. You are safe."

_I'm in a prison, surrounded by beings that want to destroy me, and you're telling me I'm safe? _And yet, Xanatos had been saying those words for days, perhaps even weeks, and every time he said them, they were true. As long as Xanatos was in the room to enforce them.

_No. He could stop this if he wanted to, even if he wasn't here in the room. And I can't forget he's the one who brought me here, the one that injected me with that first dose of Force-stifling drug. _He'd been injected several times since then, but he still equated the original attack with Xanatos. _As long as I can remember that he's the one who put me here, I'll keep my sanity and my reason. I won't trust him._

In his heart he knew that the only reason he was able to speak so calmly to himself was that Xanatos had kept Fef'n, Grenn, Xa' and Aax out of the torture chamber for at least two or three days. The remaining humans only raped him, and he could easily block the pain or fall into unconsciousness, if not meditation, while they took him.

He lived in terror of the moment Xanatos allowed the others to return.

_So I should open my eyes. If I do what he wants- just this once- he won't let them come back._

His will rejected that idea.

Xanatos sighed. "I ask so little." A pause, then, "I'm tired. Will you two stay with him until I return?"

Against Obi-Wan's will, his eyes flew open. _Don't go!_

He winced, praying the words had stayed in his head.

Xanatos stepped towards him, sat on the stool. "Maybe you were sleeping before." He put his hand on the bed, not on Obi-Wan, just beside him. "If you two will leave us, please?"

Fef'n sneered, but turned and left. Grenn walked out without a backward glance.

When they were alone, Xanatos said, "They're getting paid to be here, you know. My master pays them."

_Master?_ Obi-Wan's mind was awakened. _As in Sith Master?_

Xanatos smiled, nodded. "I can see it in your eyes: you want to know if I'm a Sith. I can't give you the answer yet, because I don't know. Right now, my master is a man who hates the Jedi and believes in the power of the Dark Side to destroy them. But he isn't a Sith. He isn't even Force-sensitive." He leaned closer. "But, Obi-Wan… He wants me to break you and bring you to him."

Obi-Wan could do little more than watch him. Even his mind was quiet.

"You must have some injuries if you are to leave here alive. And if you want to leave with your mind intact, I suggest you listen. You must be hurt; I just said that, and told you the reason. He'll want to study you before you're allowed to leave. And I'm sure you can fake brokenness well. You have that talent. I know it." His hand moved a fraction of an inch closer to Obi-Wan's bandaged head. "I want so little in exchange for saving you."

_What do you want?_ Obi-Wan bit his tongue.

"I want to touch your hair. The little bit over your left ear that was not burned. It is still soft and beautiful. I have never forgotten you, not in all these years. All I want is to touch your hair?"

"…" Obi-Wan swallowed. He'd opened his mouth to speak! Force, could he be so near to giving in? He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, terrified that Xanatos would leave.

_All he wants is to touch my hair? That's all?_

A fist of iron closed inside his heart. _No. That's not _all_. What he wants is to hurt me, to have me as he did on Telos. 'Just touch your hair.' Right._

"If you let me do that, I will see to it that the Xarligs never touch you again."

_Get Fef'n to leave and I might consider it._

_Force, what's wrong with me? No! The answer is no! The pain might destroy me, but I won't destroy myself!_

Xanatos sighed. "Too good to be true. Is that what you're thinking? Maybe you're right. Here's a deal you might be more willing to believe: for five minutes of running my fingers through your hair, you will be free from any torture of any kind for five days.

_I would still be trapped here. Five days or five years, it wouldn't matter if I couldn't get out._

He paused. _I could barter for something better. Five minutes of 'touching my hair' for five seconds of the healing power of the Force. He can put a Force collar on me, as long as I have power to heal myself a little._

In the midst of temptation, he didn't know if the idea would be a surrender or only a ploy. And that very doubt stopped him from carrying it out. _Force, I would do almost anything to have You with me again. Almost anything. But what can I do that will not betray You, myself, or the Jedi?_

He remembered then Qui-Gon's long-ago words: _You never doubt, Obi-Wan._

And his answer had been to this effect: _Yes, I doubt. More than you can understand._

_So, if I have always doubted this action or that thought, why am I hesitating now? If I give Xanatos a taste of what he wants- if I ask for the healing power of the Force first…_

Xanatos said, "I'm going to put a bacta patch on you. Hold still." He placed the patch over Obi-Wan's scalp. It wrapped around like a cap. And though it was cold, it also felt so good. "I need hair to run my fingers through." He turned to Fef'n and Grenn. "Do anything you want, hurt him any way you want, but leave his face and head alone until he's healed." He started from the room. At the door, he turned. "All you have to do is give me permission, Obi-Wan. When I return, perhaps you'll be ready to take my offer."

Then he was gone, and Fef'n stepped forward. He didn't have the flame-maker, but a small knife. This he put under Obi-Wan's chin. "You're going to get up when you're untied, and you're going to do as I say."

Obi-Wan thought about disputing that, about fighting, but when he was unbound, Grenn and Fef'n lifted and moved him with such speed and skill that he barely had time to struggle. Then he was against the wall, his hands in a pair of the shackles. His feet dangled a full five inches off the floor.

With the whole weight of his body on his arms, it was hard to breathe. _Suffication?_ he wondered. _Is that what they're planning? _Had Xanatos given up on breaking him?

Fef'n had hidden the knife away, and now he took out a long whip. "Scream for me, Jedi. Scream for me, and I won't burn you."

_He can't mean that. He'll do whatever he wants. _But as the blows fell, stripping his skin from his body in long, narrow gashes, he realized he was going to scream whether or not Fef'n kept his word. He closed his eyes, seeking meditation, seeking the serenity in pacing his breathing.

He failed. When the fortieth strike fell, he screamed. And as more blows ripped him apart, he howled and shrieked until his throat was raw and his voice died.

oOo

"Bacta works such miracles," murmured a soft, velvety voice. "Of course, I won't test how glorious the miracle is until you give me permission."

Obi-Wan blinked, coming back to himself. His whole body ached, and he felt filthy and sticky.

Xanatos smiled down at him. "Your hair's almost all back. It's shorter, and nothing can speed its growth, but it is beautiful again." He leaned close and whispered, "Just let me touch your hair, and I'll keep everyone away from you for five days. Then I'll ask another small thing of you- no bigger than touching your hair- and you'll get another five days free of torture.

"Think about it, Obi-Wan!" he cried suddenly, his voice nearly strident. "You must have some injuries, but those that you bear now are almost enough! Just let me touch your hair, and you won't have to suffer pain again. I know you can act broken. I can't bring you before my master yet- two weeks isn't long enough to break a Jedi- but I'll be able to bring you to him in as little as six months, no more than a year. Then we'll find a way for you to conveniently disappear! Please, Obi-Wan, trust me!"

"…" Again, he almost spoke. He wanted to tell Xanatos that he would never surrender to anything the other man had in mind. But, in his heart, he knew he was already seriously considering it.

_If he didn't mean to do all this, why would he go to such pains to convince me? _He tried to read Xanatos's expression, seeking the sincerity he wanted to be there. But he couldn't tell, one way or the other. _Force, help me. Make him-_

He groaned, frustrated and anxious beyond his ability to control his outward reactions. _Unless I speak, the Force won't hear me. And if I speak, it's finished. Our battle of wills is finished, leaving Xanatos the victor. I can't let him win. I can't. If he wins, I'm lost._

Yes, all that was true, but what was wrong with a tiny concession so that he could be free to fight another day?

_Force, please- _He gave in. "Force, help me." His lips barely moved, but the words passed them and reached Xanatos's ear. Obi-Wan waited, holding his breath against Xanatos's response, and also because he prayed the Force would answer him.

"The Force is helping you. It's the Force that convinced me not to break you." Xanatos sighed. "I can't remove the drugs yet- you have to stay here, and without the drugs you might do something foolish- but you must believe that the Force convinced me."

What could he say to that? Nothing. He stared up at Xanatos, not keeping his silence now because it would gain him anything, but because he knew that anything he said would come out sounding weaker than he meant it.

"Obi-Wan, you have to let me help you."

Then he did have something to say, and some of his will returned, lending his voice the strength it had lacked. "If you truly listened to the Force, if you really wanted to help me, you wouldn't demand anything in return."

Xanatos's eyes darkened, and for the first time since Obi-Wan had woken in the little torture chamber, he saw the dark-haired man's fury and hate.

Then Xanatos blinked, and only caring and sadness remained.

But the hole had been punched in his armor. Obi-Wan smiled. "You heard nothing from the Force. Leave me to your minions since you don't have the balls to rape me yourself. I will never trade dignity for a few days' reprieve."

Xanatos grabbed him by the hair, yanking his head up so their lips were centimeters apart. "I can touch you whenever I want, however I want."

"True, but it's without my consent, and my consent's what you really want."

Xanatos released him and stormed for the door. "Your suffering will only intensify," he growled.

When the door was closed, Obi-Wan whispered, "If that was You, Force, thank you. And if it wasn't thank you anyway for giving me that strength when I was younger."

oOo

The Mon Calamarian touched the flame to Obi-Wan's chest.

Trapped behind an invisible wall, Anakin could see the flames, smell the charring of human flesh, and hear Obi-Wan's breath hitch. He pounded his fists against the wall, but Obi-Wan didn't hear him, and the wall didn't disappear. He continued to pound at the wall, kicking it as well. Then, calling himself a fool, he drew his lightsaber.

Before he could ignite his weapon, the Mon Calamarian extinguished the flame. Anakin held his breath and waited, praying the flame-maker would be put away.

"Bacta works such wonderful miracles," the attacker said, and then he ignited the area between Obi-Wan's legs.

Obi-Wan screamed, throwing his head back, yanking so hard on the chains that held him that he ripped his shoulder out of joint. He continued to scream and thrash, the added pain unnoticed.

Anakin plunged his lightsaber into the wall. But the wall didn't melt! It refracted his lightsaber as if the weapon was only a harmless beam of light. Anakin slashed at the wall, and now he was screaming his lover's name. But nothing changed.

He covered his eyes, not wanting to see the curious things the flames were doing to Obi-Wan and, abruptly, Obi-Wan's screams were cut off.

Anakin sat up in bed, his heart pounding. He was drenched in sweat, and his bedroom at the end of the little hall seemed to echo with his screams.

He swung his feet out of bed and began to pace, hands in his hair, eyes staring out of his head in panic and fury. _Obi! _he called again and again. There was no answer. Not even the Force came to him to tell him that Obi-Wan was all right.

_He's not all right. My dreams aren't always perfectly right, but they're telling me he's being tortured. I can't just ignore them! I can't just ignore the fact that he's dying! I have to save him!_ Grinding his teeth, ripping at his hair, he lifted his eyes to the ceiling and the sky beyond, to the place where Obi-Wan was suffering. "Obi! Obi!"

The ringing of the chimes to his quarters brought him up short. Not stopping to think, he charged out of his room and down the hall. He flew through the common room and hit the unlock mechanism. _It's Obi. He's here and he's-_

The doors opened. Padme stood looking at him. Her hair was unbound, cascading about her shoulders, and she was dressed in a simple pants suit. She wore none of the badges of her offices, and her eyes had huge shadows beneath them. "Anakin?"

He was so shocked that it wasn't Obi-Wan that for a moment all he could do was stare at her. Then, as reality reasserted itself, he whispered, "Padme," stepped back and beckoned her inside.

She came in, and when the door was closed, she locked it. Then she wrapped her arms tight around him and laid her cheek against his chest. "Obi-Wan…" she whispered.

He stared down at her, too stunned for a moment to move. "What did you say?"

"Obi-Wan," she said. "I dreamed about him."

He pushed her back a step and gripped her shoulders. If she had dreamed what he had, then didn't it follow that Obi-Wan was truly suffering and that the dream hadn't just been the creation of his own confused and battered brain? "What did you dream?"

"I was in my room, and Obi-Wan came to me and said, 'Padme, the children have to be born. Please, Padme. This is important to the Force, important to the Jedi, and important to me. Please, Padme, help us bring balance to the Force, and help us save as many people as we can'. He told me to get up and go to you, that you would agree we have to join and have the children." She shivered. "I don't want to give myself to anyone I don't love, but…"

He understood, and for a moment his nightmare was swallowed up in the knowing. "But it was Obi-Wan who asked, and you couldn't say no to him, even if he's dead and will never know."

She fell away from him, dropping to her knees. She hugged herself and stared up at him. "Obi-Wan is…?"

"Dead." His stomach turned and he realized that he didn't completely believe the Force's assertion that Obi-Wan was alive. _Even if he was alive when the Force said so, he could be dead now._

"When? How?"

"I don't know how. But yesterday." He felt a faint tug at his heart to help her up off the floor, but he couldn't imagine lifting anyone else up when he couldn't even see how he was going to survive from moment to moment. "He's dead. The Force told me. Told all the Jedi that knew Obi intimately." His stomach seized and he rushed from the room. Dropping beside the toilet, he puked into it. He was crying again, and now he could see the flames eating up the insides of Obi-Wan's thighs. He could hear Obi-Wan's helpless screams. He threw up again, wishing vaguely that he would never stop because then he wouldn't have to do anything about the nightmare, or about the very real possibility that he'd just seen Obi-Wan's final moments.

But his body gave up long before he was ready, and so he collapsed on the floor, lying full-length before the toilet like a worshiper. He pounded his hands on the tile and screamed into the tiny, echoing room. Not words now, not even _his_ name, just agonized, desperate howls.

Gradually, he became aware of the hands on him, and the sobs that played a quiet counterpart to his shrieks. He continued to scream, seeking to lose himself in the sound, but the sobs didn't stop, and his body, as he'd already learned, wouldn't keep any show of grief up forever. His voice failed him, and he curled up on the cold floor with his hands over his face.

"He can't- can't be dead. He can't be. He talked to me! He has to be alive!" Padme coughed, and sobbed harder. "He can't be dead. He can't be. How can the Force do this? How can the Force just take him away? He was part of the shield against the Darkness, and- Fuck! I don't care if he was the only thing keeping all of us from dying! I want him back just because I want him! The Force can't take him! He has to be alive! He has to be!" Her hands on Anakin pinched his skin and her nails dug into him like tiny knives. "Damn it, Obi-Wan, you're not dead!"

He drew her cries into himself, letting them feed his grief. He drew her down beside him and hugged her to him. They cried together, their tears mingling, her pleas and his hoarse wails creating the dirge.

oOo

Hours later, they huddled together on the couch, she collapsed against him, he collapsed against the back of the couch. He had an arm loosely around her shoulders, but it was more out of convenience than to give or seek comfort. Even so close together, they were mostly alone in their sorrow.

She had stopped talking, but occasionally another sob escaped. Then she would bury her face in her hands and try once again to let all the pain out without sobbing because her throat hurt and she kept telling herself that Obi-Wan wouldn't want all this pain, that Obi-Wan was happy in the Force, that Obi-Wan was at peace.

"Fuck peace," Anakin said. "Wherever he is, he isn't at peace. Dead or alive, the Dark Force has him. I'm going to rescue him, somehow, but I don't know how yet."

"But you said he's dead." She slapped him, then gripped his arm. "Are you saying he's not?"

The slap didn't hurt, and he was too caught in his own thoughts to mind it. "The Force told me he was, then that he wasn't. But I dreamed he was burned-" he clapped a hand over his mouth, but then let it fall- "and for all I know, he's dead. The flames were devouring him and I couldn't get to him."

She shivered. "We have to find him. We have to save him, if we can."

"No. We can't look for him or even think about him, and we can't talk to others about him. The Force told me he's… that I can't talk about him." He took her hand. "But if you dreamed about him last night, that means he was alive then to send you the message. At least there's that hope." But it wasn't enough, and they both knew it. Anakin sighed. "I want nothing more than to go looking for him, to kill anyone who's hurting him, and bring him back here. But-"

"But you can't because that wouldn't be right."

That hadn't been what he was going to say, but he nodded. "It wouldn't be Jedi-like, and I promised the Force I wouldn't go looking for him, even though I wasn't sure if I could keep the promise." He stood. "He came to you last night, maybe while I was dreaming about the burning. So which dream is true, or are both dreams false?"

"I don't think anyone else could have the power over me that Obi-Wan does," she said. "He came to me in my dream."

"Or you saw his image and wanted so badly to believe that it was Obi-Wan-"

She leapt to her feet and gripped the front of his robes. She shook him. "It _was_ Obi-Wan."

He wouldn't argue with that sort of conviction. And he wanted to believe her, to pray that the nightmare he'd lived through had been an especially-intense creation of his own mind.

_Except I would never think of a Mon Calamarian doing… that. No. It was a vision from the Force. _He balled his hands into fists. "Padme, I believe you, but I believe my dream was right, too, that Obi-Wan is suffering. Maybe he called out to you from the very edge of life."

"You're saying we can't do anything, that Obi-Wan might or might not be dead, but we're supposed to stay out of the way, because it's the will of the Force?"

Her fury reminded him so much of himself that he wanted nothing more than to tell her that she had a right to be bitter, that she had a right to curse the Force, then strike out on her own to find Obi-Wan anyway, but…

_But I promised Obi. If he told me to stay here for the rest of my life, I'd have to do it. _He closed his eyes and pictured Obi-Wan as his lover had been on many of the mornings during the glorious month before they were separated. The master had been beautiful and golden in the early light, and the way he shifted from sleep to wakefulness was a wonder to behold, no matter that Anakin knew the trick himself.

_And I might never see him again._

He heard Obi-Wan's words, and though he was sure Obi-Wan wasn't speaking to him right then, he latched onto his lover's words. _The Force wants this union between you and Padme._

_No. I can't even think about that now._ And with that the Force would have to be content.

He sent her away without answers, and without making the request. She went, looking like a dazed little girl. Untouched by the lost look in her eyes, he locked the door, crawled into bed, and slept again, praying he would be granted dreamless sleep, or a way to find Obi-Wan still alive and rescue him.

oOo

"Burn him in other places," Xanatos said, his eyes on the damage below Obi-Wan's waist. "The more sensitive, the better. But not his eyes. He may need those later."

Fef'n nodded.

Grenn said, "The beating worked, too."

Xanatos nodded. "Yes, but he must not die, or even come close. He needs to live." He moved forward and smiled at Obi-Wan. "You won't enjoy the next fortnight, but when you're ready to apologize to me, I'll be waiting." He touched two fingers to the burned flesh between Obi-Wan's legs.

The master groaned, clamping his mouth shut.

Xanatos said, "Just remember: all you have to do is say my name, and I'll come help you." He turned and left the room.

Fef'n grinned. "Rape him."

Grenn blinked. "Why? He doesn't react to simple rape."

Fef'n's eyes went to Obi-Wan's backside and he lifted the flame-maker. "He will this time."

oOo

A month had passed without Anakin knowing it. It was as though he had sent Padme away, closed his eyes, then opened them to find Yoda standing on the side of his soiled and foul bed.

"In a constant state of retreat you are," Yoda said.

Anakin groaned. "Master, forgive me but why are you here?"

"Taking many sleep-aids you have been. Check on you I must. Rare for a Jedi to take sleep-aids it is because heal we do in the Force and not with drugs."

"They're only herbal remedies, like tea."

"Served such a tea before Obi-Wan has not."

"It's not his recipe." He stared down at his hands. A stupor only half-ruled his mind, and he wished Yoda to be gone so he could bury himself the rest of the way. "And please don't say his name."

Yoda hmmphed. "Dead he is, and dead he is not. This the cause of your anguish is?"

Anakin tried to sit up, but his body refused, throwing him back down and compelling him to remain immobile as he had for four weeks. He groaned, covered his grimy face with his dirty hands. "What do you know?"

"If dead Obi-Wan is, then a bantha am I."

Again, Anakin tried to sit up. Again he failed. "How do you know? The Force only told me."

"Told you the Force did, and wasted the information so far you have."

"I can't _do_ anything! I promised Obi I would listen to the Force, and the Force told me not to go after him!"

"True, but understand two things you must. First, to neglect your destiny was never Obi-Wan's command. Second, from the Light Force your information came."

Anakin grimaced. "Master, I'm too exhausted to think about the Dark Force or the Light Force. Please just tell me what you want me to know."

"Believe the Light Force we should?"

Anakin groaned, but after Yoda had asked the question six more times more and more patiently with each repetition, he broke. "It speaks truth."

"The truth it knows. What of the Dark Force?"

"Lies."

"Forgotten Obi-Wan's lessons you have. Speaks truth the Dark Force does, but to speak clouded truth with many missing pieces is its way." He sat on the edge of the bed, though he made a distasteful face when something squelched under his bottom. Sighing, he said, "Alive Obi-Wan is. True that is, no matter what we felt. The Darkness covered his _separation from the Force_ with the death of another Jedi. Dead a Jedi Master is- Master Ryn-yn- but alive Obi-Wan is."

Anakin's sheer horror overruled his body. He was on his feet and on the other side of the room before the information had clicked. Then he turned, and though he was unsteady on his feet, there was a light and sharp-edged sorrow in his eyes. "How?"

"Killed on a mission to the Outer Rim he was. Survives his padawan does, but grieving and lost she is. Assigned her a new master I have, but in such pain she is that perhaps to continue in the path of a Jedi is not her way."

"Annie," he muttered. But he didn't care about her. "What happened to Ryn-yn? How did he die?"

"Slaughtered he was, by no less than ten thousand droids that had lain in wait for him." Yoda's eyes darkened and grief-lines showed around his mouth. "Anticipated his arrival was. No way to escape he had."

"How did Annie live?"

"Sent her back on their ship Ryn-yn did. Escape with her he could not because captured he was, surrounded. Killed." He bowed his head, his ears drooping down as if to help hide his face.

Anakin slumped against a wall. "And… it was his death we felt, not Obi's?"

"Yes."

"But why do you only know this now?"

"Returned to us only two days ago did Annie. Frightened and injured and lost she was when she was found by Master Gareth and Knight Arnen." Yoda reached up and tugged at his ears.

Anakin gaped at the show of frustration or sadness or whatever emotion the master couldn't keep to himself. "Master…"

"Dying the Jedi are, but more than death. Suffering we are. Toyed with."

Anakin's legs shook, but he pushed himself away from the wall and fell by the side of the bed. "Papa…" He fumbled for and caught Yoda's hand. "Papa, we can save lives. We have to hope for that. If we don't, we'll be doing the will of the Dark Side."

"Told you that Obi-Wan did?"

"Yes. And he's right. We have to fight. We have to save lives. Maybe we can't rely on the Force to see far, because it's become clouded. But we can rely on the Force in our hearts, and the Force that flows through us when we fight. We can't give up." His hands shook, and he gripped Yoda's three-fingered hand tighter. "Please, Master Yoda, we have to keep fighting. Please."

"Never giving up I was," Yoda said quietly. "But in agony I am, in agony are we all. Relieved I am to know that alive Obi-Wan is, but Ryn-yn…" He sighed, but didn't tug at his ears again. He raised his head. "Anakin, needed you are. Not to rescue Obi-Wan. That is a task left for others, when the Force wills it. But you are needed. Not just to fly ships and negotiate your way through failing treaties, but to channel your mind and will into the Force. Rarely asked you to meditate Obi-Wan did. Ask you to do that I am. Asking you to join with me I am. Help the Jedi we must, if help there can be."

Anakin hesitated. "I can't keep any of my own fears or needs if we're going to do that." A single tear, his last for years, trickled down his cheek. "Good-bye, Obi. Be safe." He took Yoda's hands in both of his. "I'll join with you, Master. I need you to guide me, but I will do all you ask."

**End Note**: for those who are wondering about all the missing pieces in this chapter:

How did Ryn-yn die? By whose hand?

How does Ryn-yn's killer still live in the Temple in safety, hidden from Yoda?

Who will be the killer's next target?

What happens to Obi-Wan after he rejects Xanatos's offer?

How can Anakin let go of everything he feels, and how will meditating help the sinking Jedi?

What about Luke and Leia? (Okay, so maybe that one will be answered two chapters from now.)

**And, one more thing:** I'm going to start putting a timeline at the end of chapters, i.e. how much time has passed of the five years these chapters keep talking about. This wouldn't be needed if this story wasn't posted in separate chapters, or if it wasn't pushing a thousand pages on Microsoft Word, but it is, so… As of right now, 2 years, 2 months and 2 weeks have passed since Obi-Wan and Anakin went their separate ways.


	46. Breaking

Five Years (Breaking)

"Obi-Wan?"

The silky voice penetrated the pain. He thought maybe the voice had been speaking for several minutes. He didn't open his eyes, not because he didn't want to let the voice know he was awake, but because he was afraid even such a small movement would hurt. Everything else hurt. Breathing was a struggle, and he felt so raw he thought he might scream if someone just touched his face, even though he hadn't sustained any burns there.

"Obi-Wan, I'm here to make my offer again. I'm sorry I've been gone so long, but I thought you needed some real time getting acquainted with burns."

He flinched at that last word, and his whole body raged in protest. He moaned, holding back the scream because he thought his ribs would burst through his skin.

"My precious Obi-Wan. Let me touch your hair for five seconds and you will be bathed in bacta, and no one will touch you for five days. Please, Obi-Wan. Trying to defy me is killing you. I don't want you to die. The Force doesn't want you to die. Please, Obi-Wan, see reason!"

Then fingers did touch his face, and he sucked in his breath. His ribs stabbed him with a thousand knives and he almost lost consciousness. But the fingers were prying his eyelids up. He could see Xanatos now, standing near his head, and he saw Fef'n standing halfway down the bed, his hands hovering over a particular patch of burned flesh. He moaned again.

"Please, Obi-Wan. Let me touch your hair. Please."

Fef'n's fingers twitched.

"Do it," Xanatos said on a sigh.

Fef'n dug his nails into a charred skin.

Obi-Wan howled, his whole body tensing. He screamed, but then his ribs pushed inward, or that's what he felt, and his scream died away. He bit his lip until it bled, then more, destroying his lips in an attempt to keep from sobbing. If he sobbed, he knew he would die.

Fef'n pulled his hand back.

"Let me touch your hair, Obi-Wan. Please."

He couldn't speak. He wouldn't be able to give consent. And he _wanted_ to give it. Struggling to make his lips move and his tongue make words, he met Xanatos's gaze and prayed his intentions would be read in his gaze.

Xanatos said softly, "Blink twice if you'll let me touch your hair."

Could he move that much? Yes. Anything to get Fef'n away from him. He made sure Xanatos was looking right at him, and he blinked once. Twice. And he waited.

"Leave," Xanatos said, and Fef'n saluted, turned on his heel and stalked out.

"Five seconds only, Obi-Wan." Xanatos touched the side of Obi-Wan's head with his fingertips only. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five." And he drew back. "Bacta for you, then, when you're stronger, a shower. And I'll be here to make sure no one touches you."

He couldn't speak, couldn't blink, couldn't give any sign of his gratitude. But he thought, by the compassion in Xanatos's eyes, that he understood.

Obi-Wan passed out.

oOo

Anakin breathed into the nightmares, into the pain they brought. He'd dreamed, again and again, about Obi-Wan being burned, but, breathing into the dreams and calling the Force to soothe the hurt places inside him, he was able to let everything go. With the help of the Force, of Yoda, of Woda, Mace and others, he stopped asking where Obi-Wan was and what he was suffering. He stopped asking the Force to show him Obi-Wan, but to give him strength to help the Jedi Order.

And while he healed, he went to help others heal. Bant was grieving for Ryn-yn, and he would sit with her for long hours by her favorite pool, simply listening to her talk about her master. Her grief was not the all-consuming beast his fear for Obi-Wan had been; even in the midst of her suffering, he could see her abiding faith in the Force and her abiding faith in herself. But it was still grief for all that, and so he listened and watched her.

As he had kept the secret of Qui-Gon's continued existence, he perpetuated the deception that Obi-Wan was dead. The Force didn't want anyone to know, and though he still didn't understand this, and though he thought the truth would bring comfort, the Force had worked its way deeper into his heart than he'd ever thought possible, and he truly began to trust it. Those who knew Obi-Wan was still alive also kept the secret: Yoda, Woda, Padme, Mace. Anakin knew the Force had spoken to the first three, but he'd gathered the courage two days after Yoda rescued him from himself to ask Mace how he knew. Mace had answered that he saw the connecting lines between Jedi, and the lines that bound Obi-Wan and Anakin hadn't faded in the least, so Obi-Wan must still be alive.

Four days after he was drawn from his pit, he sat beside Bant, watching her dip her feet in the pool. He smiled at the play of sunlight on her hair and on the water. It was a sad smile, but he realized it was the first he'd let tilt his lips in far too long.

She glanced at him, and her eyes shone with understanding. "You're healing. He would be proud."

Anakin nodded. "I know." He thought her discretion was one reason Reeft loved her. The words she'd just uttered were the first she'd spoken regarding Obi-Wan, and she hadn't said his name. Did she know the pain he felt, or had Reeft warned her? Whichever, her gentleness touched him and he felt more of the anguish in his heart melting into the Force and being taken away. He thanked the Force, then asked, "Where is Master Reeft?" He hadn't seen Reeft since before Obi-Wan's 'death', and as much as he was grateful to Bant for letting him sit with her and heal himself while he healed her, he knew her lover would have been there unless something was keeping him away.

"With his new padawan." She sighed. "I don't even know how they're doing. Master Yoda gave the order for everyone to keep their distance until it is determined if Annie will heal. The double shock of losing her master so violently, and also losing her papa… She wasn't close to Obi-Wan, but it's obvious she felt a kinship with him nonetheless. And I think she feels his death more than she felt Qui-Gon's." She reached out and touched Anakin's arm. "Forgive me for saying his name. I wasn't sure how to make my meaning clear otherwise." Her eyes were lit with bright, sharp grief, and she sighed.

He touched her fingers. "It's all right. You loved him."

She nodded. "I did. So did Reeft."

He hesitated, then asked what he knew he shouldn't. "I'm sorry for this, but are you and Reeft all right? You're the last two, and…"

She bowed her head. "In many ways, it is as if Garen, Siri and Obi-Wan are still here, only gone on a long mission. I know we won't see them again, but when we die, we will be united with them in this sense: we will no longer feel the pain of losing them. It's not the same as being able to reach out and touch them, but it is far better than nothing."

He'd never thought of the nothingness of death and the dissipation of his spirit in such peaceful terms. "That helps," he whispered, thinking that if he or Obi-Wan died before they met again, he wouldn't feel the pain. Then, remembering the secret of the Whills, he vowed to ask his papa about it.

They were silent for a time, and then she said, "It's harder on Reeft than it is on me, because he sees Annie every day, and she looks more like Obi-Wan every instant, it seems. I don't know why ber'Nac doesn't show in her at all, but I'm grateful for it, though seeing his features, which were delicate for a man but masculine for a girl-child, is a little startling. And… the time away from the Jedi seems to have aged her. It's like looking at Obi-Wan after he returned from Melida/Daan. She's grown in some way none of us could ever expect."

"Except Obi…" He shook his head. "Never mind. Don't know where I was going with that."

"You don't like her."

Anakin blinked. "I didn't say that!"

"I can read it on your face. What do you think she was doing for that month before she was found?"

"I don't know." He picked up a tiny stone and flung it into the water. It barely made a ripple as it pierced the surface. "You're right: I don't like her. I can't help it. Obi would say I need to let go of my feelings, but I just don't like her." He shook his head. "Is it because she asks questions I don't want to answer, or is it because I'm still jealous of her?" He glanced at her, saw her eyebrow raised, and answered, "Yeah, I was a little jealous, back on Ragoon 6 when she was born, but not very jealous of her. Mostly I was jealous of Qui-Gon. Stupid, I know."

"You're not jealous," she said. "I know jealousy."

"Forgive me, Master, what do you know about jealousy?"

"Bant, Anakin, please. You're a Knight now." She gazed across the pool. "I was jealous when I saw how happy Obi-Wan was with Qui-Gon. My first master and I never connected. Qui-Gon probably told you how amazing Tahl was, but she wasn't so good to me. She died on one planet after she'd ordered me to stay back on Coruscant. She left me behind all the time because she was afraid I would try to help her too much." She smiled. "But I've long ago made peace with her ways, and she did teach me much. The point is that I know what jealousy looks like, and you don't have it. She makes you uncomfortable. What sort of questions did she ask?"

"About my relationship with Obi, mostly. This was before Obi and I were together." He shifted. "I don't want to talk about her. I just want to be quiet for awhile."

She nodded, and they kept their peace for several hours. When they parted ways, he started for his room, but sidetracked to Reeft's quarters. He wasn't going to ask to come in, but he thought he might just catch them outside.

When he drew near to the master's rooms, he slowed his stride to a meander. He glanced at Reeft's door as he passed, but heard nothing from inside. That didn't mean anything; they could very well be there. But he stopped before the door and leaned against the wall. _Why am I here? _He didn't know, wasn't sure he cared. He was just, as so often happened, satisfying a feeling, a need. He remembered how an urge from the Force had led him towards the Senate rotunda, only to meet Obi-Wan on the way in time to patch up their shattered relationship. Was he here to do something like that? Annie had been involved in the rotunda incident, too. What was he supposed to do here? He was supposed to join Yoda for meditation soon. They had mediated six times since Yoda shook him out of his drug-abuse depression. It was getting easier.

_But meditating, even with Yoda, doesn't mean I'm able to judge everything the Force says, or even a tenth of it. Maybe I'm not really supposed to be here._

Then the Force stirred around him and he turned his head. Hearing footsteps, he straightened.

Reeft rounded the corner, Annie keeping the traditional padawan's place behind him. Anakin tried to analyze her facial expression, but he couldn't deduce anything. He bowed to Reeft as the master stopped in front of him.

"Good to see you on your feet," Reeft said, and he stepped closer, laying his hand on Anakin's shoulder. "The Force came to me in a dream and told me to give you this from Obi-Wan." He touched Anakin's chest, and his hand moved as he spoke, as Obi-Wan's had years ago. "From heart to mind to lips to limbs the Force moves. I love you, Anakin. Draw on our love and draw on the Force." He paused. "This sounds like something we were told by our masters when we became senior padawans."

Anakin blinked, conscious that he didn't want to cry again right there in front of Reeft, who was probably suffering just as much as he was. "I thought that was something he made up. He made up a lot of the things we worked on together because I was… difficult."

"You are different," Reeft said. "But he wanted to pass on our traditions to you, against the day you have a padawan of your own."

"I can't see that far ahead."

"Neither can I, Anakin. None of us could when we were padawans and knights. Nothing prepares you for being a master except being a master." He smiled. "That's a quote from Obi-Wan, in case you're curious. He spoke it shortly after the four of you returned from Ragoon 6, after Qui-Gon left. And he gave me one more thing for you in the dream." He moved closer and kissed Anakin's cheek. "He asked that all his love go to you, that all his love help sustain you."

"But this is a message from the Force."

"It is a message Obi-Wan thought before he died."

_Or before he was separated from the Force, because he knew the separation was coming. _Anakin blinked away his tears. "Thank you."

Reeft nodded. Then, turning, he said, "You wanted to say something to Anakin?"

Annie hesitated. She looked down at her shoes, chewed her lip, and was silent for several moments. Then she looked up, and he could see the sadness in her eyes, and something he couldn't interpret. "He came to me and asked me to be strong in the Force. I wanted you to know." She looked down again. "I don't know if it was really him. It felt like it was the Force using his face to make my comfortable."

His heart went out to her, and he found himself on his knees, taking her narrow shoulders in his large hands. Force, but she _did_ look like Obi-Wan, from the way her red hair fell to the shape of every feature and the deep color of her eyes. He said, "If Obi-Wan didn't send the words, he would have wanted to send them. The Force reads and transmits not only our actions, but our intentions. And it might have been Obi-Wan."

She nodded. "I know." She pulled back from him, and he saw something else that reminded him of Obi-Wan: the set of her jaw. "May the Force be with you."

He rose. "And with you."

They went past him, into their quarters, and he stood, staring at the door. _What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to reach out to her?_ But he thought of Bant's words and decided that Annie was probably better off with Reeft than with him and his clumsy attempts to do the right thing when he didn't even know what the right thing was. _Yoda made a good choice with Ryn-yn, and another good one with Reeft. They're both a little like Obi-Wan; if she's like Obi-Wan beyond her face and physique, she'll respond well to him._

Forgetting about her, he headed for his meeting with Yoda, already thinking of the peace he would find, and the peace, at least according to Yoda, that he was conveying to others.

oOo

On the fifth day (he knew it was the fifth day because Xanatos had announced it, and when Xanatos had been gone for a moment, Fef'n had entered and said Obi-Wan only had one more day of peace) Xanatos tended Obi-Wan's injuries as he had before, then he sat on his stool and said, "Do you want to walk around? I know you're getting bed sores lying around like this."

Obi-Wan hesitated. Feeling stronger now, but afraid of Fef'n's next-day return, he wasn't sure how he should respond. He bit his lip. Most of his Jedi restraint had melted away, and this gesture was falling into frequent use.

"I will unchain your hands, but I will need to have others here in case you decide to attack or run." He paused. "Or I can keep your hands shackled, but let you walk. Which would you prefer?"

_Just keep Fef'n away. _He swallowed. "Shackles," he said, his voice cracking. He'd barely recovered it yesterday, and his throat was still sore from all the screaming.

Xanatos nodded. He undid the bonds that kept Obi-Wan on his back, then helped Obi-Wan to his feet, using a wave of the Force, not his hands. Obi-Wan could feel the strength in the invisible hands that held him up, and he almost cried.

"Please-" But his voice failed him, and all he could do was stand in the arms of the Force while Xanatos chained his hands before him.

They began to walk, Xanatos less than an arm's length away, but supporting him with the Force. They walked around the room, making three circuits. Obi-Wan's knees shook at first, but gradually he began to walk on his own, and as he did, the strong invisible hands helped him less and less, until he was staggering along at Xanatos's side completely under his own power.

Then, a memory overwhelmed him. It was so intense and real that he fell forward and squeezed his eyes shut. He thought he was going to hit the floor, but Xanatos's command of the Force caught him and held him.

Behind his closed lids, he could see Anakin holding him and comforting him, helping him walk around the small Temple medical center, taking most of his weight, supporting him, and telling him about anger he'd felt, about his fears that he would serve the Dark Side because he'd killed so many Tusken Raiders in rage…

"Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan?" Xanatos had moved closer, but still wasn't touching him. "Obi-Wan, what is it?"

_I've given in. I've given up. I turned my back on the Force, on the Jedi and on Anakin. _But guilt didn't come. Instead, he heard Yoda's voice: _Make a decision, make another. _And he was himself enough again- _thanks to Xanatos, I can't forget that_- to know that he hadn't made a decision, not really, but that his reaction had been drawn out of him, like poison from a wound. _I was in agony. Xanatos took all my choices, while seeming to leave me with a few. _

He remained slumped in the hold of the Force that he couldn't feel while he thought as quickly and well as he could. _If I continue to give in, I will be surrendering of my own will. If I fight, I will be forced into giving up pieces of myself. Which is better: to give in willingly, or to be broken, bit by bit? Will I be able to remember these thoughts after I've been tortured by Fef'n and the others again? _No one and nothing could answer his questions; there was nothing in his past to help him with this decision.

"Obi-Wan?" Xanatos, sounding worried now.

_Not worried. No matter how gentle he's been, he brought me here, he lives in the Dark Force. He is my enemy. _He stopped. _No. He is not my enemy, but my opponent. 'Enemy' implies anger on my part, and I will not indulge in that._

And now he had to decide. Any thoughts about what he would gain or lose by surrendering or sticking to his guns were pointless. In the end, he had to make a choice and stay with it, at least through one more round of torture; then, if he wasn't dead, he would have a chance to choose again.

_I want to live, and I cannot know the Will of the Force. But the Will of the Force will be carried out, with or without my knowledge of it. I need to be faithful to who I am. And I am a fighter against all injustice. That is as good a definition of 'Jedi' as any._

He straightened. His voice probably wouldn't work now, but he tried. "Xa…" He swallowed. Something coated his throat, like honey. He didn't understand what it was, but hoped it was the Force. _The Force exists, no matter what I can feel. I need to hold to that. _"Xanatos, bring back your torture team. You've gotten what you wanted once; you'll have to work to get it again. I hope those five seconds were worth the days you lost."

But if he'd hoped to see the fury in Xanatos's gaze as he had the last time he defied his captor, he was disappointed. Xanatos only nodded as if he'd expected this strengthening of Obi-Wan's defenses. "I'm sorry to hear you want to be hurt again. Maybe I'll return after two months this time."

Obi-Wan worked to keep his face impassive, but the thought- _Two months?! Can I live that long?_- raced across his mind. He was close to rescinding the whole idea, asking Xanatos what else he wanted to touch.

_No. Let him break me. Let him leave me with no-option options. That's the only way I can be sure I am being true to myself._

"All right, Obi-Wan. If that's what you wish…"

The torture resumed less than an hour later.

oOo

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and breathed into the meditation. Around him, Ragoon 6 sang and laughed with life. He called out to every rock and tree and bush, and heard the answering call of the Force.

_He'll be back. _In the two plus years since Dooku had come to find him on the mostly-deserted, malia-infested world, the Sith Lord had left five times, always returning to talk again. Sometimes he was gone for months; once he had been gone for six days:

"_Do you know Obi-Wan has been captured by the Darkness?"_

_Qui-Gon had reached out to the Force, and heard both the truth in Dooku's words, and also the truth beyond the words. "Who has him? Sidious? Because he hasn't given in to the Dark Side on his own."_

"_Sidious's new pet. Well, not so new. Xanatos has been with Sidious for years, but he is gaining the position you seek to take from me."_

_His patience had been run over by his sudden desire to save his lover. No. Not his lover, but almost his lover. The man he still wanted to save no matter what the Force told him. "Where is Obi-Wan?" His hands fisted, and he knew he was giving away too much. But he couldn't help himself. He wanted Obi-Wan at his side, suddenly, and he wanted to heal all the injuries Xanatos was inflicting._

"_I don't know. Some planet controlled by Separatists."_

Obi-Wan. My Obi-Wan… _He swallowed and reached out to the Force. He sensed that Obi-Wan was still alive, and that he would, by the power of the Force, be all right, but he also sensed that the younger master was being tortured almost out of his mind._

_And then he sensed that the Force needed him to stop thinking about Obi-Wan and concentrate on the man before him. _But- _he started to protest, and the Force answered, without definite words, but with a warmth in his heart, that Obi-Wan would be all right, but the balance would be harder to attain if Qui-Gon didn't try to reach Dooku. And so he gave up his fear and anxiety (though he had to do this every few minutes at first) and began to speak to Dooku as he had before…_

Qui-Gon sighed. "And now he's been gone for nine months." He shielded his eyes against the light of the rising sun. "Force, when will he listen?"

Peace filled him, as it always did when he asked such questions, and he nodded. "I will accept your decisions, and follow your lead. But I have been dreaming of Annie more and more, and I think that's sent by you. I want to know how my daughter is, and how she is meant to survive in this universe. I feel she isn't meant to be a Jedi. But if she isn't supposed to follow the Jedi Path, where is she supposed to go, and with whom?"

_Rise, Qui-Gon, and walk east._

He rose and shouldered his pack. Drawing in the Force all around him, he reached beyond Ragoon, past the physical universe. He could hear the humming between the stars, the disrupted humming that felt the shifting of the halves of the Force, and yet didn't care who was 'in charge'. Because no one could really control the stars, no matter where the borders were drawn.

oOo

Reeft stood from the table where she had been picking at her food and watching him surreptitiously. He made her nervous, like Ryn-yn. Why, when she'd been patient for so long, did she have to be given a master just as bad as the first? And now he was doing something unexpected. She'd had the impression, when she first met him, that he was strong and steady, not prone to sudden changes in direction or mood. Seemingly, she was wrong.

She watched him walk into his room, then out of it, carrying his pack. He went into her room and emerged with her pack also. "Leave the food. We're heading out." He called his outer robe to him with the Force, and tossed hers towards the table.

Annie stood and caught it, holding it against her chest like a shield. "Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure. The Force just told me to get a ship, and then I'd be given more direction."

"But, what about training tomorrow? And what about the mission Master Yoda told you we'd be going on in three days?"

"I'll let another Jedi handle that. Perhaps Anakin." He pulled out his comlink. "Let's go."

She fell into step behind him, trying to be furious at his refusal to answer her questions and his mysterious ways, but she was too curious to be angry.

As they entered the lift, he activated his comlink. "Reeft to Yoda."

"Yoda here. Help you can I?"

"Master, Annie and I won't be able to take that mission, I don't think."

"Being called away you are. Hmm. Give the mission to two other Jedi I will. Know the nature of this new quest do you?"

"No… Except it has something to do with Obi-Wan."

Her jaw dropped, and for once she was glad that she stood a little behind him so that he didn't see the expression. She yanked her jaw back up and tried to look composed and calm. But her thoughts churned. _He died when Ryn-yn died. Sidious told me. But I don't know how he died. Are we going to see where he fell and how?_

"Feel that I do. And with another secret perhaps you will deal. Whatever you learn, ask I do that keep it to yourself you do."

"I understand, Master." When the channel was closed, Reeft turned to Annie. "Do you think you're up to this?"

She stared up at him. "You told me to follow you without asking if I was all right before. Why do you ask now?" Speaking that way would blow her cover, but she couldn't stop. She hadn't yet learned how to keep to her chosen path in the midst of shock.

"Because I felt so overwhelmed by the command of the Force that for a moment everything else went out of my head."

His calm delivery of that answer shook her as much as his abrupt rise from the table. She looked down at her shoes. "I'm sorry, Master Reeft. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Rude?" He tapped a code into the lift, calling to a halt, then knelt in front of her. He didn't touch her; he hadn't touched her since she'd become his padawan, not so much as a gentle brush of his fingers on her shoulder. His hands dangled between his knees. "First, you are a young padawan, who is still learning to be a Jedi. Second, you are, like me, reeling under the shock of loss. It is somewhat easier for me, because of that first reason, and the loss for you was double. Plus Qui-Gon. Rude? A day may come when I call you on your words, but that day is not this one."

No one had ever spoken to her so bluntly. No one but Ryn-yn, and it was partially that bluntness that led her to kill him. And she had been afraid of Ryn-yn as she was afraid of Reeft, but she didn't think she could kill Reeft yet. He was still too unknown a force.

He gazed at her for a moment, and she got that feeling she'd had with Ryn-yn, that he could see right through her. She looked at him and didn't flinch. He said, "Do you want to know why you were given a master before so many padawans?"

Sidious hadn't given her an answer to this question, though she hadn't asked, so how could he know? And yet, Reeft knew she wanted to ask. Looking down again, she said, "Yes."

He straightened. "I'll give you the whole story, all the reasons, when we're on the ship and headed for our destination." He punched a code and the lift began to move again.

She stared at him, and when the power of her gaze drew his eyes, she still couldn't look away. "Who are you?" she whispered.

"A Jedi that does and doesn't understand you."

And with that she had to be content. What else could she do? He seemed to hold all the cards, all the information, everything she wanted.

The ship was waiting for them, fueled. It was in a line of ships all made ready, but Bant stood at this one. She met Reeft partway and kissed him. "Find out what happened," she whispered. "Come back and tell me what happened to him."

Reeft nodded. "If I can." A pause, then, "Did the Force call you?"

She nodded. "At first, I thought I was going to come with you, but I'm meant to stay here."

He nodded, kissed her cheek. "May the Force be with you."

"And also with you." She stepped back, nodding to Annie, her face expressionless.

Then they were on the ship. He gestured her to the copilot's seat. He went through the preflight check in silence, programmed the computer for the jump to hyperspace in silence, then guided the ship to the jumping-point. They made the leap to hyperspace. He set the autopilot, then turned and faced her.

She fought with herself, wanting to appear aloof and distant. But she couldn't deny her need to know the answers to the questions he had raised. She faced him.

"You were given a master because you're like Obi-Wan, because you're_ not_ like Obi-Wan, and because you seemed to need one. There are certain hereditary characteristics we cannot escape, those things we inherited from our parents that, even if we didn't know our parents, still live within us. You look like him. I'm sure you've been told as much. But, more: you seem to have some of his tendencies."

She scowled.

"You can't avoid them, but being aware of them may help you if you decide you don't like them. Most of them are nothing a Jedi wouldn't want. When you walk, you are light on your feet and graceful."

"Aren't all Jedi like that?"

"Yes, those who become knights and masters are generally skilled that way, but you have been that way since you took your first steps. Like Obi-Wan. You share, also, his expressive eyes, and this is a trait you need to be wary of. Obi-Wan worked for long years to hide his emotions from those he did not completely trust. So you were given a master to help you with that. As for other similarities, you have an innate understanding that hard work brings rewards, just as he did." He spread his hands. "And now for those things we aren't sure of just yet. Obi-Wan drew the Dark Force like certain insects are drawn to a flame. It was nothing he did, but just who he was. You are his daughter. The Dark Force tried to kill you both at the moment of your birth. We want to protect you, strengthen you, teach you to see the Dark Force coming so that you will be prepared when you're out on your own."

"The Dark Force… wants me? Why?"

"Possibly, and I don't know why. Perhaps it is your strong connection to the Force. We never knew why it was after Obi-Wan."

"Did it kill him?"

"Yes, though we don't know if it did so directly or through an agent. That second is my guess. The Force- either side- hardly ever directly takes action, but flows through the Jedi or is used by the Sith." He settled back in his chair. "But maybe we'll learn some answers where we're going: the world of your birth."

She blinked. "Ragoon 6?"

He nodded.

"What are we going to find there? Will someone be there? Are we… going to see his body?"

"I hope not. I would prefer to remember Obi-Wan as the strong, courageous and compassionate man that grew up beside me. As to your other questions, I don't know." He paused. "Do you have any more questions about your early padawanship? Oh; first you should know that a short time ago, younglings became padawans by the time they were six or seven. That was Obi-Wan's generation. With Anakin's generation, the rules changed; it was decided that children should only take on the responsibilities at the age of thirteen. Now I'm really asking if you have any questions." Then he laughed. "Ah, but I'm forgetting the other reasons you were given a master. I've suffered too many near-decapitations wit a lightsaber, perhaps. Or, as Siri would have said, I was always like this."

"Who was Siri?"

"A master. Siri, Garen, Obi-Wan, Bant and I all grew up together. We didn't all start out the best of friends, but we were close long before the first of us became a knight."

"What happened to her?"

"She died on Geonosis." He collected himself. "You aren't like Obi-Wan in many ways. You have a stronger Force-connection than he was born with, and many of your early accomplishments were driven as much by talent as by hard work. Until he turned fifteen or so, everything Obi-Wan had was hard-earned. Your skills weren't enough to make you a padawan, but added with everything else, they had weight. And, last, you needed a master at a younger age than some. I'm not sure what that meant, but this idea was brought before the Council, and they approved it. You didn't necessarily need a master because you were better or worse than other younglings, but because the Force spoke to the hearts of a few Jedi." He paused, seemed to look inward, then said, "Questions?" with a small smile.

She blinked at him, but her chest felt tight. She looked away. "I wasn't given special treatment because I'm his daughter, but because the Force cared about me?"

"Basically, though I'm not sure I'd want the Force 'caring' about me in such a personal way. It cared for Obi-Wan, and he was-" He cleared his throat. "Let's just say the Force put Obi-Wan through more than most Jedi could survive before he died. The Force guides us, but in its ultimate omniscience and strength, it manipulates events in ways we can't understand."

"Then why serve the Force? Why be a Jedi?"

"Because following the Force is best for the galaxy as a whole. A Jedi's work isn't to protect himself, those closest to him, or even, on a larger scale, any one planet or government. Our job is to serve the greater good. And the only way for us to do that is to follow the Force, because the Force is working for Good." He paused, and she sensed he was going to broach a subject that had been on his mind for a while. "How do you follow the Force?"

"Just by closing my eyes and willing it."

He nodded. "That will work as long s you don't start to form calluses on your heart. Our hearts are like our bodies. When you train, do you form calluses on your hands?"

She nodded.

"If we aren't careful, we form calluses over our feelings, and doing that blocks the flow of the Force. Right now, maybe you haven't developed blocks between yourself and the Force. But when you do, you'll need to learn how to cancel, dispel and erase those injuries, or you will lose the easy flow of the Force you have now."

_But Master Sidious said if I don't let my feelings out, I'll never have half the power he has. _She wasn't far enough under Reeft's spell of trust that she could ask, but she could form a question close to it: "Are feelings injuries?"

"Any feeling can become an injury, if you allow it to do so. But feelings themselves? No. They aren't injuries. Friendship, for example, is made up of several feelings: liking someone, respecting them, caring about their happiness and well-being. Any of those emotions can be taken to extremes and can form calluses. But by themselves, they only help us do our work. I learned to respect the differences people bring to the table by becoming friends with other younglings and padawans during my early years at Temple."

"How could liking someone be taken too far?"

"I could like someone so much that I would ignore my connection to the Force in favor of making that one person happy."

She closed her eyes, seeking inside herself for an emotion that couldn't be used to harm a connection to the Force, and she came up empty-handed. "But what about the Dark Force? Don't some people use their emotions to get what they want from it?"

"Yes, and the Dark Force repays them in separation from the people they once cared for, and in a demand on energy that the Light Force will never ask of us."

"Energy?"

"Have you ever been injured and called on the Force to heal you?"

"No."

"Ah. Then try this: what happens to a tree if you snap off a branch?"

"Either parasites get into the tree and kill it, or it scabs itself over. The tree limb will never grow again, but the tree makes it so nothing else can get in."

"How much energy do you think it costs the tree to build a scab over the injury?"

"Probably a lot. I don't understand where you're going with this."

"It's all right; let me go on a little longer, then you can ask any questions you want. What systems does the tree rob to get the needed healing energy?"

She frowned. "From making leaves?"

"Yes, and from those systems participating in photosynthesis. For a time, everything the tree is supposed to be doing: growing stronger, giving oxygen to the surrounding woods, is curtailed. A Dark Force user is like a tree: because of the Darkness inside, she perceives injuries that she must heal, and so she turns from growing and living to treat those injuries. But with a Dark Force user, those injuries, many times, are created ones that aren't really there. A Jedi is different. When we are injured, the Force flows through us and heals us, not taking any of our own energy to do it, thereby allowing us to still reach out to those around us. If you don't mind an example?"

When was the last time anyone had asked her what she did or didn't mind? "I don't mind."

"Obi-Wan was once attacked while he was in the Senate building. He was shot several times. He woke in the medical center after days of a recuperative trance- where the Light Force surrounded him and started the task of healing him. When he woke up, because of the strength the Force had given him, he was able to speak to others and heal others. Master Gareth and Knight Arnen came to him looking for a blessing for their union, since Obi-Wan had been with Qui-Gon. He was able to reach out to them. People heal without the Force; of course they do, or every species in the galaxy would have died out long ago. But the Light Force saves our own strength for us and helps us heal both more quickly and with less strain on our bodies. That is partially the reason Jedi live longer than other people. The Dark Force can sustain life, but not without assistive drugs, and not without a demand on your mind and heart that most don't start out wanting to pay. The Dark Force is like a drug: at first, you take it because it makes you feel good, but soon you're taking it just to keep from feeling bad. Some Jedi have left the Light Force for the Dark, then, when they discover that they don't like the Darkness, they can't return because it's much harder to quit the Darkness than to join it." He paused, smiled. "And I always thought Obi-Wan was the only one among us prone to long torrents of words. Do you have questions?"

She had to throw up some sort of wall against the effect he was having on her. "What if you can't answer them?"

"Then we'll take your questions to more experienced Jedi. Master Cro, Master Windu, Master Yoda. But give m try. I might surprise you."

She looked away from him once more, unable to remember when the power of his words had drawn her gaze. "I don't have any yet."

"That's all right, too. Whenever you think of a question, I'm here."

He didn't speak again until they were landing, and so she was given six hours of silence to herself. She stared at her instruments for a while as her thoughts ran here and there, refusing to settle. Again and again, she saw Sidious in her mind's eye, and sometimes she wanted to talk to him, and other times she wanted to stay far away from him and just keep listening to Reeft.

_He doesn't care about me. He's just fulfilling his duty as my master because Ryn-yn's dead. _But Reeft hadn't insisted they open their bond, and he didn't even try to trick words out of her. That almost shouted 'I care about you, Annie', didn't it?

Didn't it?

Given no answers from her own confused heart, she sat in silence with him and drew composure from him, wrapping it around herself. She only half-knew she was drawing comfort from being in his presence, and she consoled herself that she was really putting one over on him because she had killed her last master, and he didn't know, couldn't know, that. Just like he couldn't know that he himself was most likely in danger from her. Eventually she would push him out of her way.

But not now. Now she took secret strength from him, and it galled her to know that he was probably giving the strength willingly.

oOo

Palpatine sat up in his bed. He didn't, as a Jedi would have, call out to the Force in the darkness of his room, but simply listened. He heard nothing nearby and so relaxed against his pillows. He couldn't risk reaching out to the Dark Force when he didn't know who was there to hear him. Instead, he closed his eyes and lay very still, trying to understand what had woken him.

_Unease. _It clawed at his heart and scrabbled up his throat.

_Danger. Possible loss. _He wanted, feeling that, to rush to one of his secret places and contact both Dooku, who had been slipping in and out of his sight for over a year, and Xanatos, who was in the midst of breaking Obi-Wan Kenobi. He didn't really need to know about Dooku, since he'd abandoned the would-be Sith who had disappointed him so greatly but hadn't learned enough about being a Sith to be a threat. But the longing was there nonetheless. As for Xanatos, his apprentice could easily be reached.

_Except I have never contacted him except to demand something of him. I will not show him my weakness._

Then he realized there was another he wished to contact. _Annie wouldn't pick up on my unease. She would gladly do anything I wished._ Rising, he went to a small, shielded meditation place in his quarters, a corner disguised as nothing more than an intimate sitting area, meant for just two. Here he settled himself and reached out, relying on the precautions he'd taken in this one place to guard him from detection. But when he reached towards the Jedi Temple, he felt, instead of a humming drift of trained, wise fools, a shield not made by him. The shield pulsed with the Light Force, and it repelled him. He could, of course, break it and see within, but whoever had created the shield would surely sense the intrusion, and might even be able to follow him back to his hiding place. Too risky.

And so he retreated, rose from his safe place and returned to bed. He closed his eyes, deciding that he would try again in the morning, or work through a spy if that was unsuccessful. But he hesitated to use spies for such a delicate mission. A spy would be his last tool. He thought to fall asleep and worry about everything when the sun rose, but his mind wouldn't quiet. He lay in his bed until dawn, then rose to start his day. He resolved not to try the Temple again until midday. Under the bright sun, all beings were less cautious and attentive.

oOo

Deep in meditation, Anakin frowned and lifted metaphysical hands to press back against the wave that crashed against the shield he and Yoda had built scarcely an hour before. 'Crashed' wasn't the best word, he realized, but it was closer than 'brushed', which was the first thought that came to him. Something wanted in, and though it retreated in short order, it had most definitely been there, and it had not been friendly.

Yoda touched Anakin's shoulder and Anakin blinked, coming up through the meditation quickly. "Master, the shield-"

"Still feel it can you?"

Anakin blinked, nodded. "Yes. I didn't know it would hold without constant watching."

"Like a physical wall, it will require tending and guarding, but it is in place now, and it will not be assailed without you and I being aware of it."

The knight grinned, then the smile slipped from his face.

"In pain you still are?"

He nodded. "I dispelled my fear for Obi-Wan while we worked, but it's all coming back. I can't see an end to it until I have him in my arms. What can I do, Papa? I want to be worthy of the trust you have in me."

"Keep dispelling your fear you must. No other way there is. Easier it may not become, but perhaps it will. Know you will not if practice dispelling you do not."

That was true, and Anakin knew it, but his warrior heart and his lover soul craved the answers to his questions, and he feared his heart and soul would rule his mind if he wasn't careful, and maybe they would conquer his mind no matter what he did.

"Fear you call it," Yoda murmured, "but caution it truly is. Know your limits you do, and the strength of your love. Cautious you have a right to be." He squeezed Anakin's shoulder. "Rest now you should. Require assistance do you?"

Yoda had asked that question every night since he rescued his son from self-destruction, and Anakin had taken the offer each time. Yoda would accompany him to his quarters, then either talk in soothing tones or just sit at Anakin's side until the knight fell asleep. Somehow, Yoda's presence right before he slept had kept the nightmares away.

What would be the harm in taking the offer one more time? But the Force tugged at his heart, and he said, "I think I'll try on my own tonight."

Yoda nodded. "Call me if help you need."

Anakin smiled. Yoda sounded so much like Shmi. "Thank you." He rose and left Yoda's quarters. He strode through the dimly-lit Temple, listening to the peace of a thousand sleeping minds, and the not-so-peaceful dreams that emanated from some. But those disturbing dreams were quickly dissipated, to be replaced by peace. Anakin nodded. Jedi couldn't avoid having nightmares, but they could handle those nightmares better than many.

Keeping that truth in the front of his mind, he entered his quarters. As always, his heart seized when he saw what a mess he'd made of all surfaces- couh, floor, tables. He'd covered up all the neatness and order that was Obi-Wan.

_I'm going to change that._ He went at the couch first, hauling soiled blankets to the laundry, then returning to scrub at the stain on one cushion. _By the time I'm done putting everything back together, I'll be so tired I won't be able to dream. Or I won't remember my dreams._

It took him nearly an hour to clean the cushion and clean off the low table. With this done, he turned his eyes to the kitchen, and even started that way. But then the world spun and he staggered, catching at the back of one of the chairs at the table. He sank into it and groaned, resting his head in his hands. _What is this?_

The urge to lay his head down and close his eyes rushed through him as though driven by a stiff wind. _I'll clean the kitchen as soon as this dizziness goes away._ He rested his head on his folded arms. Breathed once, twice. Slipped into a trance.

oOo

Qui-Gon sensed the presence in his mind, and though it wasn't Obi-Wan, it wasn't a threat. He reached out to it, but received no answer to his question.

The thrum of a ship's planetside thrusters reached him, and he lifted his eyes to the sky. He stood in a flat open place atop a high mountain. The malia rarely came here because of the lack of trees and boulders to hide behind. No mountain should have been so flat and devoid of vegetation, but Qui-Gon sensed that there had been a great explosion here years ago, and that the high winds that only touched the tops of Ragoon's mountains had scoured away every rooting seed.

The ship settled, and the thrusters died. Qui-Gon shifted, his hand moving a fraction of an inch closer to his concealed lightsaber.

The ramp descended, settling with a bump on the hard earth. A tall Jedi appeared at the top of the ramp, and with him was a child Qui-Gon knew, though he hadn't seen her in more years than he wanted to count. Anyone passingly familiar with Obi-Wan would have recognized her as, if not his daughter, than a close relative.

Conscious that he was staring, Qui-Gon turned his eyes on the tall Jedi that had started down the ramp. This man he knew, though he wasn't sure just who he was. Someone he should know, someone that he'd often found in Obi-Wan's company, though he was much changed from whatever he had been years ago. Frowning, Qui-Gon took a step forward. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Master Qui-Gon." The Jedi bowed. "May I present Padawan Annie Jinn-Kenobi?"

Qui-Gon bowed to the girl-child who should have been his. "Annie," he said, then stopped, collecting himself. His voice scratched at his throat, though he thought he'd sounded normal enough. Turning his eyes on the tall Jedi, he said, "Forgive me. I know you, and yet I don't. You are a friend of Obi-Wan's, but too many years have passed."

"Reeft," was the answer. "Master Reeft." He smiled and touched the smoothness of his face. "I wore a beard the last time we met, and I've grown half a meter since then." He chuckled. "Call it a delayed growth spurt."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No. Your people usually don't grow to their full, mature size until their mid-twenties." Now he knew Reeft, and he was shocked that he hadn't recognized him before. "It has been many years, and that is my only defense."

Reeft nodded, bowed again. "Forgive me, but I must bear bad news." He hesitated, and for the first time, his mask of control slipped just a hair.

"Speak."

"Obi-Wan is dead."

Qui-Gon's neck muscles tightened, and he thought to contradict the younger master, but the Force moved in his heart, and he bowed his head. "Yes, I know. I felt his death from here." That little lie- how long had it been since he had lied to anyone besides himself? Sixty years or more- would save questions about why he looked so unshaken.

"Ah." Reeft took a step forward, and Annie moved with him. "The Force drew us here. I don't yet know why we're here. Do you?"

"No. Not to deliver that message, surely." Qui-Gon gestured towards a path. "It gets cold at night, but this is still a good place to sit out under the stars. Join me."

Reeft said, "I'll fetch our packs." He glanced at Annie. "Will you stay here?"

She nodded. "Yes, Master."

The young master made good his escape.

"You two don't seem surprised to see me," Qui-Gon said.

"I don't know about Master Reeft. I'm not surprised. The Force works miracles all the time." She paled, and he read the thought plainly on her face: _Did I say that? Do I believe it?_ And he also sensed that she wasn't lying; she wasn't surprised to find him alive.

"I'm glad you have such faith." He considered the horizon, noting that a storm was brewing not far away. It would be upon them in an hour, unless the wind shifted. _We'll be in the cave by then._

"Do you miss my papa?"

"Yes." He didn't look at her. His heart had tightened. Why? He knew Obi-Wan was alive, and he'd given over his fear for his former lover. Maybe her eyes disturbed him, or the way the sun fell soft on her hair, kissing it.

"Do you wish I was your daughter?"

"Do I wish he hadn't been raped? Yes. Do I feel anything less for you because you aren't mine? No."

"I hate half-answers."

"It's all you're going to get." Why did he feel so on-edge? He called out to the Force, and this helped, but he still couldn't look at her.

"Let's get inside. I saw something." Reeft broke into their non-talk.

Qui-Gon glanced at him. "The malia won't come this high up."

Reeft gestured for Annie to follow him. "I saw something." He led the way to the path, glancing back, meeting Annie's gaze, then going on.

Qui-Gon followed, ready to point out the cave if the need arose, but Reeft found his way inside the mountain without any trouble. The younger master stopped at the entrance, after glancing inside, and gestured Annie in. He walked behind her like a rearguard. Qui-Gon took a step inside, and that was when he felt it: Dark Force, cresting over the nearest mountain, searching for them like a hungry animal they couldn't escape.

He crouched down beside Annie, touching her shoulder, but she flinched away.

Reeft stood close to the mouth of the cave with his hand on his lightsaber.

"What is it?" Annie whispered.

"The Dark Force. In actual, physical form. I've never felt it like this." Reeft's hand tightened on his weapon. "Do you know how to build mental shields?"

"Yes."

"Please do so."

As Qui-Gon did the same, he watched little Annie. Her eyes, intense, were fixed on her master. He read fear in the set of her shoulders and also excitement. _So like Obi-Wan. Why would ber'Nac's rape produce such a strange child, so much like her papa and nothing like her father? _Thinking of the last time a wave of the Dark Force had attacked, he tried to throw an extra shield around Annie, but found that Reeft had already done so. _He's a good master. Guarding his padawan comes easily and naturally to him._

The wave crested above them, flowing onwards, towards the next mountain. Qui-Gon breathed a sigh of relief.

The wave returned, crashing hard against the mountain, and flooding the cave. Reeft staggered back a step, then held firm. "Padawan-" he began, but then the wave hit again, more powerful, and he fell to one knee, his lightsaber out and lit. He threw out his other hand, defending himself and the two behind him.

Unsure how he had come to be behind Reeft, Qui-Gon took a step forward, but the Darkness pushed him back.

"Master!" Annie threw herself across the intervening space, falling to her knees at Reeft's side. She clutched at his robes.

He groaned. "Keep your shield strong. This monster wants something."

She buried her face in his robes, holding onto him. "Don't let it through."

"Force, be with us," Reeft whispered, and then he closed his eyes. Gripping his lightsaber in both hands, he said, "Speak, or leave."

The voice shook the cave and, standing behind the others, Qui-Gon saw the hood-shadowed face floating before Reeft. "You are my child, Annie. Come home."

Reeft answered, "She is not your child."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi is my papa!" she shouted, lifting her head a little. "I'm his child, not yours. And he died in the Light; you can't do anything to me. I'll die that way, too!"

A chuckle, slimy and half-congealed. The face disappeared, replaced by a dark and shifting curtain. "You wear Obi-Wan's face, but it is Qui-Gon's recklessness and power that flows through you, mingled with the strength of the Darkness. Obi-Wan's pure blood can't protect you. You are mine, Daughter of Darkness."

Reeft rose to his feet, and though Annie gave a weak, protesting cry, she didn't follow him, clinging instead to his trouser leg, hiding her face against his calf. "Be gone. In the name of the Light, she belongs to herself, not to anything or anyone else. You aren't as powerful as you want us to believe. You aren't the Dark Force; you're just a User. Stay away from my padawan."

The wave crested, slammed into Reeft. He dug in his heels, refusing to be pushed back a single step. Even as the cave darkened unnaturally, his lightsaber shone forth in power. "Be gone."

The wave retreated, and Reeft fell to his knees. "Annie…"

She caught his hand as he deactivated his lightsaber. "Master?"

"Reeft, please. Master and padawan are official titles suited for confrontations like that, not between friends." He tucked his lightsaber away. "Are we friends?"

She nodded, held onto him. "Could it- he- whoever he was- have hurt me?"

"Physically? He might have been able to throw you around. But it was metaphysically I was more worried about. Jedi can be poisoned with Dark Force. And though they can heal, it's painful. I didn't want him to hurt you."

Qui-Gon cleared his throat. His thoughts were by no means close to settling, but he had to know if Reeft had seen the face, and then the curtain. He asked this, avoiding Annie's gaze.

"No. Do you mean it was first a User, then the Dark Force itself?"

Qui-Gon nodded.

Reeft wrapped an arm tight around Annie. "Thank you, Force, for being with us." Then he said, "I'm sorry, Annie; that's presumptuous of me," and he started to let her go.

But she huddled against him. "I don't mind."

He hugged her again.

She whispered something in his ear, and he nodded and whispered something back.

Qui-Gon settled himself on the ground, facing away from them. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe. _Not Obi-Wan's? Mine? She's mine? Built of my… what did he say?... recklessness and power, and the Dark Force? Is it possible? How did the Dark Force work such a damnable miracle?_

He sensed that the truth had been spoken, and no amount of reaching out to the Force could dispel that feeling. _Oh, Obi mine… You were made to carry a child not even yours? How can that be?_ However it had happened, it was the worst kind of rape.

Reeft was approaching, and Annie was with him, though a step behind. "Qui-Gon, is it true what was said about Annie?"

"Come sit."

Reeft did, and Annie did, sticking so close to her master their knees brushed.

"It's true," he answered. "The Force tells me its truth." He bowed his head. "Why the Force would allow this to happen to Obi-Wan is beyond me."

Reeft said, turning to his padawan, "Well, whoever or whatever your parents are, you can choose your own fate. Obi-Wan's blood or not in your veins, you have the Force. Only the Force can protect you. And it will, through me, through other Jedi, through strangers you'll meet that will be moved to help you. And, of course, by yourself."

She nodded, her expression unreadable.

Reeft suggested the two of them perform a kata to dispel the remaining sense of uneasiness.

Hours later, as the night drew down heavy as an iron blanket, and after Annie was asleep, Reeft approached Qui-Gon. The two of them stood at the front of the cave, just out of the wind, Reeft wrapped in his Jedi robes, Qui-Gon swathed in a thin, well-insolated cloak. "I can't believe it," Reeft said quietly, his lips barely moving. "What was the Dark Force accomplishing by something like that? Please tell me the Force has told you it was all lies."

"I can't. Obi-Wan bore a child that was not his, except that he nourished it with his energy and his blood."

"She was carried in safety, then, and love. It doesn't matter much in the scheme of things, but it might help Annie come to terms with this. Surely Obi-Wan has cared more for her than anyone else, except the Jedi teachers. And isn't the point of being a Jedi to have no ties to parents?" He shook his head. "I don't miss my parents. I can't even remember them at all. I know she's had more exposure to her papa than most children, but even if that interaction had been negative, which I can't believe, not when we're talking about Obi-Wan, or if she took his distance hard, she can recover."

"I'm more concerned about the effect this will have-" But Qui-Gon stopped, and, shifting a little, turned his face away from Reeft, hunching his shoulders.

"Qui-Gon-"

"Obi-Wan is gone, so it doesn't matter. And you can't tell anyone that I'm alive. Obi-Wan knew, but he was the only one."

Reeft nodded. "I won't tell. But, Qui-Gon, please-"

"What?"

"Annie is still alive. She needs you to accept this shock and deal with it, if only because you're a Jedi Master and she needs more than just me as an example. She cares more about her parentage than most Jedi, but she can't have been the first Jedi to wonder about her parents. Bruck's desire to be like his father was part of his trouble. He wasn't guided through his hard questions, but we can help Annie."

"It's different with Annie." Qui-Gon had lowered his voice. He crouched, gesturing Reeft to move closer. When Reeft was beside him, he said, "She was born in Darkness. At the moment of her birth, a wave of Darkness attacked and tried to kill Obi-Wan, and his unborn child. The Darkness told Obi-Wan that his daughter was meant to serve the Darkness."

He closed his eyes, breathed. The war of emotions inside him intensified, and he knew he was going to have to draw away from Reeft and from the little child and simply meditate for a time. _I haven't felt this lost or angry since Obi-Wan told me our separation was meant to be, and that it would lead to great things for both of us._

He roused himself with difficulty. "Reeft, I need to be alone with the Force for a little while. If you can, please stay until I return. I didn't expect to be so shaken by this news."

Reeft nodded. "The Force wants us to stay, at least for now." He rose. For a moment, it seemed that he would speak, then he turned from Qui-Gon, retreated, and set himself up between Annie and the world. He settled on the floor of the cave with his back against a wall, then relaxed, his eyes half-closing.

Qui-Gon donned his hood and went out into the storm. He would find another cave.


	47. Some Mending and Escape

**Author's Notes:** I'm going to claim illness as the reason I didn't get this done sooner. Fevers tend to make me forget things. Here are two chapters for the price of one. Also, the next chapter is also up: Coming Home

Five Years (Broken)Pg. 1006

Five Years (Some Mending)Pg. 1030

Five Years (Escape)Pg. 1050

Five Years (Some Mending)

Qui-Gon drew his knees up under his chin, a posture he'd always associated with loss and fear, perhaps because that was how he'd found Obi-Wan on more than one occasion when his padawan/lover/friend was hurt or afraid. _It's perfect right now, and there's no one to see. _He made sure his cloak was tight around him, keeping out the wind. This cave wasn't quite so deep as the one where he'd left Reeft and Annie, but it would serve his purposes. _I'll only be here until I discover why I'm so upset and dispel the feelings. Reeft is right; Annie needs more than one Jedi, if only because she is a child, but more because, if she is truly my daughter-_

If? She _was_ his daughter. Deception and skill of the Dark Force had made it so.

He had been in touch with the Force so deeply for so long that he wasn't able to hide the truth of his anger and unease from himself now that he was still and alone. _She was always _Obi's _child, _Obi's_ problem, no matter what I said to him, no matter how I came to care for her during those three months we spent returning to our ship. The minute we were at Temple and she wasn't right in front of my eyes, I didn't dwell on her. She wasn't my problem anymore. She was the Temple's problem and Obi's problem. Never mine. He would watch for her; his parent's instincts were never a question in my mind. She was his responsibility. But now he's not here, she's here, and she's my daughter._

His logical mind, the mind that had allowed him to learn how to fly starships, wanted to sit and dissect how such a demon's miracle could have happened, but his Jedi mind refused to dwell on something that was self-evident, if only in a metaphysical sense. _I have the temper, which is more likely to pass from parent to child than a strong Force-connection. The connection to the Force was born in her my the Darkness. _

He stopped. _No. She isn't of the Dark Force. That's not what I was told. She was born of the Force, the whole Force, which means she can choose her own path. But she is already headed for danger, with my temper and her close-lipped tendencies. It's a wonder Reeft has engendered so much trust and loyalty in her._

He didn't know much about his daughter, but she was undoubtedly his responsibility, and she was, almost certainly, just as much like him as she was like Obi-Wan. Her watchfulness proved that.

_I may be assuming too much, but it's better that I am open to the possibility that she is like me. I'll be able to see her difficulties now, and maybe I'll be able to help her._

He let all plans for the future and the shock of the discovery leave his mind. Sitting in the quiet of meditation, he thought at first he was simply seeking peace. But then he again became aware of the presence that had followed him since he waited for Reeft to arrive. Reaching out to it, letting go of a need to know an identity, but seeking a general positive or negative feeling, he was rewarded with a full-blown picture.

Anakin, tall and handsome, with his long hair hanging loose about his face, stood in a void of light with his hands relaxed at his sides. He met Qui-Gon's gaze, and though he seemed shaken, his composure was almost as good as the master's.

_Anakin. You're a knight now._

_Yes. _A pause. _In case you felt the disturbance in the Force, I wanted you to know Obi's alive. I don't know where he is, but he's definitely alive._

Qui-Gon decided to withhold the information Dooku had given him, partially because he didn't want to think of it himself, but mostly because he had something else he needed to tell Anakin. _Obi-Wan told me he loves you. _He hesitated. _It was a shock, to know that he has found someone else, but I wanted to thank you for making him happy. _

He sensed Anakin's discomfort, but the knight sent, _It was hard on Obi to accept that he loved me, and he didn't leave you because you did anything wrong. It was just…_ Embarrassment clouded the link.

_We both needed to move on. The time had come for that. And though we'd already known the truth of our separate paths, any change was hard to accept. I mean it, Anakin: I'm grateful you've made him happy. We will never be lovers again, he and I, but I will always care for him, and he for me. _They needed to be talking about something more pressing than thank-yous and past pain and growth. _You must be open to whatever the Force tells you. Obi-Wan may need you when he returns, and Annie might, as well. Tell Yoda all that has happened here._

_Are you all right with this news?_

_No. But I will be. I'll do what I can for Annie, but I don't think she'll be here long. Reeft is her guide on the Jedi Path, and htough she may not remain on that path, it should be our goal to make sure hat she remains in the light, and that she remains out of reach of the Sith. She is half Force, like you, Anakin._

_How did you know about that?_

_The Force tells me what I need to know. Being made of half Force, her power may be equal to yours. Your potential is the same, both the potential for strength and power, and the potential for good or evil. You must watch for her, Anakin. She could become more powerful than you. IT depends on which one of you draws deeper upon the Force._

_You speak as if she is already an enemy, as if she has chosen the Dark Side._

_She hasn't, but I fear she will._ Qui-Gon sighed. _I've told Obi-Wan more times than I can count not to focuse on the future too much, but I cannot stop thinking of the future and the past. She has been marked from birth as a servant fo the Dark Force, and though she can perhaps change her fate, there are parts of our destiny we cannot change, no matter how hard we try. Obi-Wan's sexual service to the Force-_

_Sexual suffering,_ Anakin snapped.

_Yes, suffering, is a part of his destiny he cannot escape._

_Is he being raped?_

_I don't-_ No, he knew, just as he knew it wasn't the rape that was truly ripping Obi-Wan apart. _Yes, but he is not allowing it to affect him. He is stronger than that. Don't let your own weakness with regards to your caring for his safety interfere with your duty._

Anakin groaned. _I wish they'd all get it through their thick skulls that rape won't break him. I wish they'd all leave him alone. And I wish he was here in my arms and away from it all._

Qui-Gon said nothing to that. He wasn't here to be Anakin's consoler, or even his sounding-board. _Follow the Force, Anakin, no matter what you feel. _He stood. The storm had moved on. Now was the time to talk to Annie, if any time was right. _Go now. We're finished here._

_Maybe you should be here when Obi-Wan comes back. He might need more than just me._

_He'll have Yoda and Bant and Reeft. He'll need no one else._

_He _might_ need you. If he's suffering like my nightmares say-_

_Nightmares? What nightmares?_

_Obi was burned. All over, but mostly his chest. I keep trying to tell myself it didn't happen, that my fears are just manifesting themselves, like they did when I dreamed, for months, about his death. Well, he didn't die, and the dreams became fewer and finally stopped shortly after we confessed our love._

Qui-Gon heard the unsent plea: _Tell me these dreams are also unsubstantiated. _But he couldn't, because when Anakin spoke of the burning, Qui-Gon could smell Obi-Wan's blackened skin and hear the younger master's screams. Insane screams, almost, and soon Obi-Wan might lose his sanity. He would be able to regain I with the help of the Force, but right now he didn't have the Force, and he was living without hope of escape.

_All the more reason for me to return to the Temple so I'll be there when he returns. Or I should beat his location out of Dooku. _But neither of those actions would be in accordance with the Force, and the second never could be. _I'm here to help Dooku. Obi-Wan will have to lose his mind or save it without me._ He could almost feel the ice forming over his heart and he whispered, "No. I need to stay open to the Force. I cannot do anything for anyone if I don't remain in the Force."

All this he had kept from Anakin, and now he sent, _I have to go. Annie needs me. Wait on the Force, and follow its unction._ And he severed the link.

_Obi-Wan…_ Grinding his teeth, then drawing all frustration inward, he blew out a loud breath and called on the Force for peace. _I'm long past making deals, _he told the power that lived in everything, _but if at all possible, save Obi-Wan and don't let him break or die or be lost to the Jedi. He's needed, and not just by Anakin. I need to know he's alive and well. I know you are my first duty, but I want him to be all right._

A need to close his eyes- just that, and not to sleep- overcame him, and he sank back down, leaning against the wall and shutting his eyes. A memory bloomed, fully formed, before his eyes, in his ears, teasing his senses of smell, taste and touch. He surrendered to it.

///Flashback///

The B'yrch trees were not, strictly speaking, either private or public property, but today Qui-Gon had asked Prince Yeneluk if he and his padawan could have the grove all to themselves for a few hours. The prince gave them the entire day, from sunrise to sunrise, saying that it was the least he could do.

At first, as morning light spilled across the sky, painting the white-barked trees almost pink, sometimes cream, and often ivory, the lovers walked, hand in hand, through the grove. Sometimes, Qui-Gon would stop, turn, and kiss his lover, but mostly they only walked, not speaking, simply enjoying this one and only time when it was jus the two of them, no pressing assignments or responsibilities. They were far from the Temple and the Jedi Code and the Council. It was just the two of them, and their newborn need for alone-time. In their hearts, they wanted to make love that day. If they weren't careful, the time might get away from them and they wouldn't get a chance to consecrate their love, but they couldn't make themselves go faster. They just needed to walk, hand in hand, and live like normal lovers for a little time. The only touch of the Jedi training that remained to them just then was the knowledge that they would never get to do this again, unless they lived for a hundred years and retired from the Order. And perhaps not even then.

Qui-Gon turned all his attention to the small, strong hand in his, noting the calluses that were fading on Obi-Wan's fingers and palm from his long time without a lightsaber in his hand. Enjoying the softer skin, and the few remaining rough spots, the Jedi Master made his world that hand, _My Obi-Wan, _he thought, again and again. _My beautiful, strong, gentle Obi-Wan._

They came to a little stream with a curved, B'yrch-wood bridge. They walked to the top of the little arch, and here Obi-Wan stopped. He pulled his hand from Qui-Gon's and leaned on the railing, his eyes on the water. The sun was above the trees now, and Qui-Gon enjoyed the play of light in his lover's hair. He often thought of how truly lustrous Obi-Wan's hair would be once he became a knight and allowed it to grow. _Anyone will be able to see the Light Force shining in him then, and won't be put off by the seriousness of his expression coupled with the severity of his haircut. Sunlight will love his hair when it is long. Now the sun only courts him._

Turning his eyes to the water, Qui-Gon saw that Obi-Wan was using the Force to toy with the stream's flow. The padawan created little eddies here and there, making as many as six free-standing little swirls at once. Yes, his Force-connection grew by leaps and bounds each day, and his hard-earned and long-practiced patience and focus were making tricks like this water-play possible.

As he watched, Obi-Wan lifted a few drops out of the water, then a few more, and a few more until a little ball about the size of a fist hung just above the water. Obi-Wan began to spin the ball. Glancing at Qui-Gon, he grinned. "Master Ahleh used to ask me to lift imaginary balls and set them back down. One of the balls I made in my mind looked like that."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Are you drawn to water, Obi mine?"

"I guess. I like growing things- that's from you- and I like stone and water and rich earth. The natural world seems more alive when I think about all the inorganics that sustain its life."

"All the things you've mentioned are filled with billions of microbes, so they're alive, too, in a very real sense."

Obi-Wan nodded at that, then turned his eyes back to the watery sphere. It hadn't so much as waered or lost even a drop of the water he'd used. He began to expand it, calling water up into it in little streams.

Grinning, Qui-Gon called a wave up into the ball, thinking to carry it away down the stream, but Obi-Wan caught all the water Qui-Gon sent and channeled it into the ball until the sphere was as large as his head.

Obi-Wan jumped to the bank, bringing the ball with him.

Qui-Gon moved to the opposite bank and tried to push the ball in Obi-Wan's direction. If he succeeded, Obi-Wan would be soaked.

Obi-Wan kept the ball away from himself and tried to send it back at Qui-Gon. Jogging along on opposite banks, the two Jedi began tossing the ball of water back and forth. Sometimes the ball lost a little water, then one or the other would scoop up more, but the ball scarcely changed size as they moved, laughing now, dodging behind trees and leaping bushes in an attempt to keep the ball in play.

Qui-Gon spied another bridge ahead, and decided he would break the ball before they reached it. Relaxing his hold on the ball slightly, he allowed Obi-Wan to belive he was winning. But when the younger man had pushed the sphere to within an arm's length of his master, Qui-Gon shoved hard back in the other direction.

The ball rocketed across the stream, much too fast for Obi-Wan to catch it with his strengthening, but inferior connection to the Force. Qui-Gon grinned, anticipating the splash. But Obi-Wan surprised him. When the ball was almost at the opposite bank, Obi-Wan drew his lightsaber and thrust it into the sphere. There was a hiss, and the ball disappeared in a brief cloud of steam. Then Obi-Wan leapt through the steam, sheathing his lightsaber as he did so, and landing beside Qui-Gon. He threw his arms around his master and lover, almost bearing the older man to the ground with the force of his kinetic energy.

As afternoon approached, they wandered off a main path and found a copse of trees with a clearing in the center just large enough for two men to lie down side by side. Stripping off their dark brown outer robes, they made a little bed for themselves in the grass. Settling down amid the soft grass and flowers, they sat holding hands for several minutes, simply drinking in the Force and the beauty that surrounded them. Then Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan to him, and they kissed. Gradually they rolled down onto the robes, kissing and petting. They stripped even more slowly, relishing each revealed inch, applying lips and tongue as well as fingers to bared skin.

The sun had, an hour hence, reached its zenith and was making its languid way down the second half of its arc as Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan's face in his hands and kissed his lover's mouth with heat and urgency. Obi-Wan responded, moaning softly and opening his mouth, begging Qui-Gon to go further, deeper.

They made love when the sun was halfway between zenith and horizon. The slow dance drew cries from them both, marking their personalities by intensity and syllables. Qui-Gon's cries were short and punctuated, and Obi-Wan murmured contented, round half-words that flowed from his lips like the stream they'd left, hardly stopping, but lifting here and there as he was touched and aroused, entered and brought to his climax.

As the sun disappeared behind the trees, peeking through here and there, Qui-Gon walked, naked, to the stream and returned with a little wetted cloth. He cleaned himself and his lover, then they snuggled together, not bothering yet to dress.

The shadows lengthened. Qui-Gon covered Obi-Wan with feathery kisses from his hairline to below his waist. When Obi-Wan's breath quickened, the older man took his lover in his mouth. Afterwards, as Obi-Wan calmed, Qui-Gon spoke. "We won't have the luxury of making love often. Our duty won't allow that amount of total abandon. Oral completion will be the norm. Are you all right with that?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "Qui-Gon, we don't have to make love to be in love. I can't deny I'll want you to do… what you just did with your mouth… often, and I want a chance to try it on you, but my love for you doesn't depend on how often we have sex. We could have sex once every five years and it would be enough. I'm not saying I won't long for it, but the Force is my first love, and holds my first devotion." He flushed. "I'm sorry. That wasn't supposed to turn into a speech."

Qui-Gon kissed him. "Never apologize for being wise and for speaking the truth." Again, a kiss, light and soft, on Obi-Wan's parted lips. "I'm so proud of you, Padawan mine, Obi mine."

They slept in the little clearing that night, with stars forming their roof. They donned clothes as the night drew down, but it didn't chill, and so they felt no need to retreat inside. Their day of consecration was almost at an end, and neither wanted to rush to the final curtain.

An hour before sunrise, Qui-Gon awoke to find his arms empty. Sitting up, he spied Obi-Wan sitting far above on a tree branch, his eyes catching all the light just like a night bird's. Moving to the base of the tree, Qui-Gon called up, "What are you doing, Obi mine?"

"Watching you sleep and watching the night hunters returning." Obi-Wan jumped down, landing lightly beside his lover. "And what are you doing awake?"

"Enjoying watching you." He took Obi-Wan in his arms, kissing him warmly.

Obi-Wan returned the kiss, then drew back. "I love you." He grinned. "How often will I get to say that in safety? Don't forget, please. I love you."

"I love you, Obi mine, now and always, my love for you second only to my love for the Force."

They held each other until the sun rose, then left the B'yrch groves, ready to take on the world together.

///End Flashback///

Qui-Go opened his eyes and sighed. If the vision was supposed to help, it had only reminded him of what he'd lost, and of the love that still burned inside him. And though that love had most definitely changed- even in his most selfish moments he couldn't doubt that he thought of Obi-Wan more as a brother than a lover- it was just as strong. He wanted, he _needed _to find Obi-Wan and bring him back to Temple safely or, if that wasn't in the Force's plan, to keep Obi-Wan safe somewhere away from anyone who would or could ever hurt him. He wanted to hold Obi-Wan in his arms and hear the younger man's breathing while he slept.

_I didn't spend this long 'beating time' or meditating in the fullness of the Force's healing power only to fall now. I am needed here, with Annie, with Dooku, and to wait for anyone else the Force wishes to send my way._ It cost him to think this, but he paid the price, wanting to serve the Force, else everything he'd worked for would be a waste.

_Annie. I'll talk to her first, then I'll wait for Dooku. Like Anakin has to wait on Obi-Wan's return and can't seek him out, I am to wait here, not see Obi-Wan during his healing, not to comfort him, but to do what I must._

Peace came then, and he realized that he'd been considering abandoning his mission. And now to have made that decision, he was rewarded with serenity. He rose and moved back towards the cave where his daughter and Reeft waited.

oOo

Anakin lifted his head. He could feel the imprint of his hand on his cheek and he was only glad no one would see it. Knights weren't supposed to have prints on their cheeks that they'd put there.

Qui-Gon was with Annie, and he was going to try and help her. That was all well and good, though Anakin couldn't bring himself to care about her much. Obi's daughter or not, she made him nervous, and though that should have been a warning, should have sent up a flare, he only found he didn't want to see or even think about her.

So a Jedi master was doing something useful: keeping a padawan from falling to the Dark Sid. Fine. What was he doing? Waiting for Obi-Wan. No plan of action, no information about how he should prepare for when Obi-Wan arrived, no indication that he should do more than sit on his ass and meditate.

Granted, the meditating was helpful. He sensed the general strengthening of the peace within the Temple, and that was needed, considering the thing that he'd blocked. But man could not live on meditating alone. Well, Obi could, but-

Anakin's throat closed and he stared down at the table. Rage rode through his blood like a needle-nosed, gun-loaded ship riding a solar flare. Deadly. Full of killing strength. He snarled, and tightened his fingers on the edge of the table. Obi-Wan couldn't live by meditating alone. If half of what he'd stolen from Qui-Gon's thoughts was true, if any of what he'd dreamed was true, Obi-Wan was suffering, possibly dying. And perhaps he, Anakin, was the only person who could, or would, save his lover. Qui-Gon obviously wasn't going to do it. Qui-Gon was too focused on protecting his daughter, as if Obi-Wan was already dead and Annie was the last remnant of the love the two masters had shared. What gave him the right to abandon Obi-Wan, anyway?

His eyes narrowed. His breath came faster. His chest tightened.

There was a splintering sound, and the table cracked right down the middle, splitting with the sound of a hundred breaking bones.

Anakin dropped his hands to his lap and stared at the wreckage. His heartbeat began to slow as he realized that he'd broken the table with his rage. Swallowing, shaking slightly, he got up and backed away from the mess. "Obi…" _Force, I need him. Don't let him die. Don't hurt him anymore. I want him here. Now. I need him here. Don't do this to him, to me. You can't take him from me. I won't let you. I won't follow you if you take him from me. I swear I'll go to the Dark Side if you kill him._

His door chimes sounded and, groaning, he moved to answer. He wasn't sure he could be calm or rational just then, so having visitors probably wasn't the best idea, but he didn't think he could just expect them to go away. Since he'd sequestered himself for a month, Jedi he didn't even know took it upon themselves to check up on him and make sure all was well.

He touched the panel by the door, and it opened.

"Help you need." It was not a question.

Anakin stepped back, allowing his pap to hobble in. He closed and locked the door after the master was inside. He watched Yoda take in the table halves, and he watched as Yoda moved to the small meditation room.

"Come you will."

That soft, insistent, never-doubting voice got him moving. He strode to the little room and sank down across from Yoda. "Before you say anything, listen. Obi-Wan is being tortured. Burned. He might be dying. And the Force wants me to stay here and not help him. It wants me to just wait, then help him when he shows up. I can't do that. I need to save him. I can't let anyone hurt him. I need to save him."

"Need to save the younglings you do."

Anakin's hands fistsed on his knees. "I need-"

"Need to save the younglings you do."

"But, Obi-Wan-"

"Need to save the younglings you do."

He opened his mouth, but his gaze fixed for the first time on Yoda's urgent expression, and the words died on his lips. "The younglings?"

"A strong shield you have built, but built it to protect the Temple you did not. Built it was to protect the younglings. Protect the other Jedi I will, but protect the younglings you must. And your shield maintained must be. Nearby you must remain."

"But…" Even now, thinking of Yoda as his papa, he struggled to protest. The diminutive master was the most intimidating being he'd ever met, and years of familiarity hadn't changed that fact. He tried anyway: "But Obi-Wan needs me."

"Learn this lesson again you must? A Jedi Master he is."

And a Jedi Master should be able to fight his own battles, and to bring himself home. Anakin knew all of what Yoda was saying, and yet…

The intensity of Yoda's gaze stopped his tongue. He swallowed. Any questions he had- why couldn't Yoda take care of everyone so he could go save Obi?- weren't appropriate. He squashed them. He thought of Obi-Wan, and his stomach clenched. He wanted to ask if the Force had told Yoda Obi-Wan would definitely return, but that he also couldn't ask. Groaning inwardly, he met Yoda's gaze and waited for his options to play themselves out in his mind. When his mind figured out what his heart already knew, that Obi-Wan was on his own, no matter how much Anakin didn't like it, then he would speak.

In time, the voices in his head stopped arguing and coming up with new, impossible ways out of this situation. When all was silence within him, if not peace, Anakin said, "I understand, Master. I will stay here and protect the younglings."

"And heal you must," Yoda answered right back. "Great fear and anger I sense in you."

Anakin winced. The fear, he'd always thought, had stayed in his own mind. It was the fear, more than the anger, that bothered him and that he longed to keep hidden. Knowing that desire to be wrong, he tried to articulate his feelings and his needs and even that fear. "I don't want to lose Obi-Wan. I love him. I know we're to follow the Force first, but my love for him doesn't just go away because I have a mission. I didn't know I would be worried about him all the time and angry with the Force for putting him in this situation."

"Interesting it is that mention your dreams you do not."

"That's why I'm afraid of him! He's being burned and probably many other things. He's in agony, and for some reason I can't understand, he can't just use the Force and throw them all across the room."

"Understand the reason for that you do. Cut off from the Force Obi-Wan has been. Access it he cannot. But speaking of those dreams I was not. Other dreams you are having, dreams about the Jedi that raped yo, even as tone of them tried to rape Obi-Wan.""

Anakin's mouth went dry. There was a beat of silence. Several beats. "I… I don't dream about Adee or Zee."

"Truly? That is not what I feel. Feel I do that to dream about them each night has become normal for you. Perhaps burying the memory of those dreams you are, but dreamed them you did. And until face those dreams you do, face those fears, live and grow inside you your fear will."

"I can't remember the dreams," Anakin answered, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he _did_ remember, and his stomach clenched again, rolling over beneath his ribs. Images flashed behind his eyes, almost too quick to see. He tried to force them away, but then, as three-fingers hands grasped his wrists and squeezed, he watched the images, wincing again as the terror began to rise. He swallowed, tasting metallic fear, and his ears were filled with his own pleas for Obi-Wan to save him, save him, _don't let them do this this, Obi, please, I need you-_

He sobbed, and the hands on his wrists tightened. Bowing his head, he sobbed into the emptiness and nakedness of not even being allowed to cover his face. His breath hitched and his chest ached, but his physical discomfort was nothing to the anguished sounds he made and heard, the terrible images he saw.

Yoda took both of Anakin's hands in one of his, a stretch for his short fingers, and laid the other hand on Anakin's cheek. "Cry, young one," he murmured. "Cry. Hurt you were, destroyed you were, and trying to rebuild your life you are." He caressed Anakin's cheek with gentle, rough fingers. "Loved you are. Doubt that you must not."

If he'd thought talking with Yoda was going to be anything like his talk with Obi-Wan, if he'd know that it was going to be twice as bad as the memories he'd had to relive with Obi-Wan, he wouldn't have let Yoda in. But it was too late now, and he cried and cried, unconsciously pushing his cheek into Yoda's roughened palm, seeking comfort. He didn't pull away from Yoda, but sobbed with his head down and his hair hanging around his face.

Adee on top of him, overpowering him with the Dark Force… Anakin stiffened and yanked his hands from Yoda's grip so he could just have them free. He hadn't been able to move when Adee took him, and that paralysis was as bad as the pain, as bad as the Dark Force Adee tried to put in him, as bad as Zee fighting Obi-Wan and shoving him away, as bad as Obi-Wan leaving him when he needed his master most.

"Why-" he hiccupped, swallowed, tried again- "why-" his throat closed and he couldn't get the words out.

Then Yoda was in his mind, gently pulling the question from the tangle of his emotions. _Why did he leave me?_ flashed across both their minds, followed by, _Why do I love him?_

Anakin squeezed his eyes shut, but Yoda said, "No. Close yourself off you must not. Heal you will not if continually ignore the injury you do. Fear you feel, and betrayal and loss, but if feel them you do, begin to understand them and heal them you will. Left you Obi-Wan did to save Qui-Gon. Know that we do. The real question is: _how_ leave you could he?"

Anakin nodded and sobbed. He wasn't with it enough to make sure his thoughts reached Yoda, but he trusted that Yoda was picking up every word. _Why didn't he just tell the Force to wait? Why couldn't he let Qui-Gon die? Qui-Gon's lived a full life. He just loved Qui-Gon more than me. He followed his feelings instead of his duty._

"Go on."

Anakin wiped at his tears with the back of one hand, and more poured out. These he ignored. _He loved Qui-Gon. He always has. And no matter how much he talks about the Force, and following the Force to the end of the galaxy, he wanted to sae Qui-Gon and not me. Because he loed Qui-Gon. He loved Qui-Gon more than he loved his duty or me or anything else. _

"Truly believe that do you? Betrayed you Obi-Wan did?"

"_Yes!_" The ugly, raw and angry cry shocked him, and he groaned. _I hate him? Is that what's happening? _Then, before Yoda could respond (or perhaps Yoda chose not to respond, knowing what was coming), "No. I love Obi-Wan. I will always love him. I can't imagine living without loving him. He's the answer to everything I ever wanted. Power- all I really wanted was for him to ask me for a kiss. Strength- looking into his eyes, remembering his teaching, smelling his breath while he sleeps, that gives me all the strength I need. Courage- the same: just watching him live his life gives me courage to live mine. I can't hate him. Even if he went after Qui-Gon not just to obey the Force. I loe him, and I don't care if he loved me then or not, if he was the perfect Obi-Wan, Master Jedi that everyone says he is now. He's allowed to make mistakes. I don't care what he does wrong. I'll always love him. He doesn't have to prove himself to me or to-"

"Anakin."

His name was spoken softly, but in a tone that brooked no argument, and he shut his mouth.

"True all of that is, and glad I am to know that discovered the depth of your love on your own you have. But to run at the mouth is not the Jedi way. Think before you answer: where does your loyalty lie?? With Obi-Wan, or with the Force?"

He closed his eyes, picturing a set of scales in his mind. The galaxy hadn't used such things for centuries, except on worlds like Tatooine where crud tools were still valued because that was all many could afford. He pictured his love for Obi-Wan on one side of the scale, and his devotion to the Force and to the path he'd chosen on the other. At first, the scale tipped towards Obi-Wan, then back, then towards Obi-Wan again, though less so. Finally, it tipped towards the Force for the last time. When it stood still, the devotion to the Force was heavier than his devotion to Obi-Wan, but only marginally so. Opening his eyes, he confessed this to Yoda.

"If study you do, and meditate you continue to, and remember Obi-Wan's teaching you do, the balance more definite will become. Honesty you have; deceived by the Darkness you will never be. Now only commit yourself to training your mind you must, and the true balance between love and Love you will understand."

Anakin heard that second capital letter, and he nodded.

"Here you must not remain. Too many memories for you there are here. Come and sleep in my quarters you will, on the couch. There find healing and strength you will, and through you, strength the shield will find. Protected the younglings must be. And protect them you can."

oOo

Xanatos stirred on his bed. He had been awakened by a soft rustling on the floor. He yawned and stretched, but didn't turn the light on. "Yes?" he asked, his voice sleepy and gentle. He rubbed at his waking arousal.

The rustling continued, and then a voice answered from the floor. "Master?"

"Speak, Obi-Wan. It's all right. There's no one here to hurt you."

"I'm cold."

No more than that. The broken Jedi wouldn't dare ask for anything. He would trust to his master's mercy.

Xanatos smiled and moved over in the bed, making room. "Come sleep with me." He knew Obi-Wan had only been asking for a blanket, but giving Obi-Wan more than he asked for was the central crux of his power over the beautiful, red-haired man.

Eyes lowered, Obi-Wan crawled up onto the bed, shivering in the chilly air of Xanantos's little apartment. He was naked, and goose flesh puckered his skin. His hair hung down past his shoulders in a clean, erotic wave, and when he slipped between the sheets and snuggled against Xanatos, he was half hard. "Thank you, Master."

Xanatos opened his mouth to reply, but then shut it with a snap as his gorge rose. What was this? Had he eaten something that didn't agree with him? Running his fingers through Obi-Wan's hair, he felt the former Jedi flinch. His throat closed, and his erection began to pass. Swallowing hard, he lifted Obi-Wan's face so that their lips met. Obi-Wan gave everything Xanatos asked, but he was visibly trembling, and though Xanatos could see how he tried to control this, he also saw it would be impossible for the whore to show anything other than fear and terrified, groveling gratitude. Could this be what he'd really wanted?

Determined to excite himself again, he rolled on top of Obi-Wan, who at once spread his legs and moaned, "Please, Master, please…"

Xanatos's erection was nonexistent.

Rolling away from Obi-Wan, he got out of bed. "Stay here."

"Yes, Master."

Yes, Master. Yes, Master. Xanatos groaned and clutched the sides of his head. Around him, the world seemed to darken, and he muttered, "World without General Kenobi's passion is no world at all, no world of light, anyway."

He blinked, and found himself back in his bed, alone. His room was dark, just as in the dream, and he called up the lights. Sitting up, he searched the room carefully to make sure there was no shivering, naked, broken man huddling in any of the corners.

Then he cursed himself for being such a fool. Obi-Wan was still in the little torture chamber he'd rigged, enduring the attentions of his hired torturers. He'd only left Obi-Wan that morning, saying that he wouldn't return for two months.

He was obliged to keep that promise, or Obi-Wan would think him week and seek to take advantage of him, as he had taken advantage of the Rischen's learned terror of all Jedi.

_But if I don't go back, I'll have nothing but a husk in my bed, a shell. Everything I wanted from Obi-Wan will be gone. It's not his beauty that I want, but his mind, his soul, his passion and his strength. All of that will be burned out of him if I don't do something soon. He may even be half-gone already._

Hadn't he seen the evidence of Obi-Wan's weakened condition when he'd asked for permission to touch the silky, red hair? Did he need to see more? Obi-Wan could break at any time, and unless he, Xanatos, did something about it, Obi-Wan would surely be lost, because no one else would dare to rescue him. A Jedi might, but Obi-Wan had been so neatly cut off from the Light Force that only those who were first connected to the Force as a whole, then guessed that Ryn-yn and Obi-Wan had died at the same time, _and_ that Ryn-yn's death had been used to cover up Obi-Wna's capture, would realize that Obi-Wan was still alive somewhere. And even with that all figured out, there was little chance they would find Obi-Wan on Rojo IV, far outside the Republic, any time soon. And even if they were here, the world was covered with Force-sensitives, most of them dabbling in the Dark Force because it was the easiest to access. How could Jedi who were looking for Obi-Wan feel one drugged and shielded master in the midst of so much Force distortion?

Obi-Wan had no help but Xanatos.

Did he really want a servant, a broken, helpless man waiting on him not only for permission to speak, but for permission almost to breathe? What kind of reward was that? Breaking Obi-Wan had seemed like such a good idea, and yet, now he couldn't imagine destroying what he truly desired.

In the short term, it didn't matter. Sidious didn't check on him all that often, and Xanatos knew he could lie to his master without much difficulty. The problems would come in time when he had to show what he'd accomplished with his prisoner. And I he couldn't break Obi-Wan, what else could he do?

That the Jedi proved to be unbreakable would be something SIdiuos might believe, especially considering General Kenobi's reputation. So there Xanatos was almost safe. But he needed to be able to gie Sidiuos something just as aluable as a broken Jedi.

Then he knew, and he grinned slightly. This new idea might still get him the furious, fighting, yet weakened Jedi that he craved, and it would allowe Sidious to have valuable information. The mind probe would work quite well at protecting Kenobi from Fef'n and the others, and also provide Xanatos with a way to cover his own ass. Because the lst thing he wanted Sious to discover was that he was weak. No, that was a good way to write your own death warrant.

Xanatos rose from his bed and went to dress. He would have to dismiss the ones he'd hired, but that was all right; he would dismiss them in such a way that they could never bother him again. That, too, might hurt Obi-Wan, though he would be, in his heart, probably glad to se them go. Such a show of "I'm glad you're dead" from a Jedi could be just the leverage Xanatos would need to make Obi-Wan into the man he wanted..

oOo

Reeft didn't want to sleep. Exhausted as he felt, he didn't want to run the risk tha Annie would wake up and have no one there. Force, but she almost felt like his daughter, and they'd only been working together for a very little while. Was this how Ryn-yn had felt? Was it feelings of fatherly caring as well as a master's duty that he led Ryn-yn to send Annie away so she wouldn't have to watch him die?

Pointless questions he couldn't answer, and so he let them go. Whatever Annie's relationship had been with Ryn-yn, it was most definitely oer now. Feeling the distant ache of los, made idstant because he hadn't known Ryn-yn well, but felt the loss of any life, Reeft settled himself more comfortably against the wall of the cave. The stone was chill, but it didn't cut through his cloak, and he didn't allow his skin to touch it.

They would remain here for a little while, he sensed, perhaps long enough for Qui-Gon to retun, perhaps not. Then they would return to the Temple. Jedi were being called on missions all over the galaxy, but he wasn't being called. He and Annie had been left alone, both by the Council and by the Force, at least in one respect: they were urged to stay away from the outside world and to 'heal' and 'tend'. He guessed what Annie needed to heal from, and he tended her with gentle, watchful, unobstrusive movements and words. Sensing she wasn't ready for a new bond, he abstained from the expected connection, as Qui-Gon had done with Obi-Wan long ago. Obi-Wan had told himthat story, how Qui-Gon had only tended him and helped him heal after Ahleh's death. Reeft hoped to accomplish a similar miracle of peace in Annie. And just because she wasn't Obi-Wan's daughter didn't mean it wasn't possible.

He thought he understood Qui-Gon's need to be alone. Obi-Wan was dead. Annie, in Qui-Gon's mind, could have been the last connection to a Jedi he would never see again. But now, even though she looked so much like Obi-Wan, she wasn't his. She was a child of theForce, and Qui-Gon. Why had the Force done such a thing to Obi-Wan? Had the original plan been to create another Chosen One, like Anakin, and then had that plan gone horribly wrong when ber'Nac raped Obi-Wan? But how could the Force choose to take Obi-Wan's body and use it as an incubator for another man's sperm and the energy of the galaxy? That sounded so bizarre Reeft couldn't imagine it. The Light Force would never do such a thing, and the Force as a whole never would; he believed that with all his heart. So how had this occurred?

The Dark Force was the only answer left to him. Perhaps the Light Force had meant to creat another child, but the Dark Force, through ber'Nac, had twisted it.

No. That seemed too far-fetched. Reeft sighed and sat very still, seeking within himself and outside himself for the correct answer. There was silence for a long while and then he heard a voice that shocked him so deeply his eyes widened and he actually whispered out loud: "Anakin."

_Sh. Reeft, listen. Annie is the child of the Dark Force. I am a child of the Force, the whole Force. The Force impregnated Yoda, because the whole Force is the master of every particle of matter and energy, it was able to create a boy-child instead of letting the host body choose the gender. But the Dark Force can only create imitations. The Force creates; the Dark Force mocks. So the host body- Obi-Wan- chose the gender of the child. Female. Obi-Wan's only children have been girls, and that's consistent with his people. The men who give birth on his world can only make daughters._

Reeft wanted to ask how Anakin knew this, but he sensed Anakin was being fed the information through the Force, and so he simply waited for Anakin to go on.

_Annie is the child of the Dark Force and of a mortal. But not Qui-Gon. And not Obi-Wan._

Reeft felt his jaw drop, and he didn't bother to yank it back up where it belonged. _ber'Nac?_

_No. _A mental shrug, one born of sadness and shock rather than indifference or confusion. _ber'Nac never acted o his own. His actions were controlled from the first moment he opened himself up to the Dark Force. Raping Obi-Wan was used as a cover-up. Annie's real mortal father is-_

Someone touched his shoulder, and Reeft jerked awake, opening his eyes.

Qui-Gon crouched before him, his gaze intense. "What is it? All the blood has drained from your face."

Reeft tried to reach out to Anakin, but the link had been severed. He cursed silently, then said, "I'm all right. I was talking to Anakin. He says-"

But Qui-Gon stopped him. "Don't talk about Anakin here. The Dark Force is seeking him too intently. And without Obi-Wan to draw off some of the malice and danger, Anakin is more at risk than he's ever been before. I'm not sure even the power of the Jedi at Temple, even the power of Yoda, can protect him. And I sense he still isn't quite ready to face what the Dark Force has in store for him."

Reeft nodded. He didn't sense anything of the kind, but picking up on such things had never been his forte. Rising to his feet, he asked, "How are you?"

"Better than I was. Most of it was just shock that Obi-Wan had been used again. I'm glad he'll never know how he was violated."

"She doesn't have to be a reminder of how he was hurt again. Obi-Wan cared for her. She is still just a child." But since she had been born of the Dark Force, how much could she really be saved? _No. I won't think like that. That's what the Dark Force wants: for me to give up. I won't give up. I won't. Everyone can be helped._

Qui-Gon nodded. "True. But she is going to need you watching her. You should create the bond between you."

"No. I'e decided not to. Just as you did with Obi-Wan after his first master died, I'm giving her space to heal. I'll be with her, and I'll help her, and I'll watch for any and all signs that she needs me, but until she is ready for the bond, I won't suggest it."

"The reason I didn't create the bond with Obi-Wan was because I was also in much pain, both because Ahleh had died, and because I thought Xanatos had died as well. This is different. You need to reach her before it's too late. And the best way to do that is through a bond. If I hadn't allowed the bond I shared with Xanatos to be clouded, and at last to fall apart, I might have been able to save him."

Reeft shook his head. "I hear what you're saying, but that's not the way I work. I think Annie will be better off if I let her grow and reach out as she wishes to. I'm not going to ignore her, and I would step in if she tried something dangerous, of course I would, but she needs the space to grow."

"Obi-Wan was better off for having a bond. So were you."

"The bond was right for us, and it's right for most Jedi, but Annie is a little like Anakin, and you can't tell me Obi-Wan didn't ever cut Anakin loose to let him feel things on his own without a master right beside him."

"And it's because Anakin was 'on his own' that he almost got himself killed several times. I respect Obi-Wan, and I respect you, but you need to respect me and listen to my greater range of experience."

Reeft was silent for a time, then he said, "I'll discuss it with Annie, but I'm not promising anything. The best thing sheand I can do is keep our relationship as open as possible."

"Remember that no matter how open you remain, she may be closed."

"She isn't as closed as she seems. She has pain that I don't know about, and she thinks thoughts I havne't imagined, but she is still a padawan who needs my help." He sighed. "We're going back to Coruscant, I think. The Force is urging me back. Something's going to happen, and I need to be there."

"Wait until the morning,." Qui-Gon was quiet for so long Reeft thought the conversation was over. But then the master startled him. "Don't give up on her. Just watch out for her."

oOo

Annie listened to them. At first, she had been asleep, and only heard snatches in her dreams. As she dreamed of a dark and turbulent cloud bisected by blue lines of light that looked like the weapon she carried, she heard Reeft say "…reminder of how he was hurt again. Obi-Wan cared for her. She is still just a child."

Pulled by the compassionate voice of the man who considered himself her master, she fought her way up through the layers of sleep, and when she was completely conscious, she made sure to lie still, not wanting to interrupt anything the two Jedi were saying. In this way, she would learn things they might want to keep private.

But she learned little. As she'd suspected, Reeft's ideas about not forming he bond were not shared by Jedi in general. And, as she'd half-hoped, Reeft wanted to take care of her. That much was obvious in the way he stood up to Qui-Gon.

Half-hoped? She didn't need anyone to take care of her. If she'd needed anyone, she would have been dead long before this for all the concern the Jedi had shown.

Eventually, Qui-Gon towards the entrance and settled himself there. Annie watched Reeft settle by the wall. She waited as long as she could, judging that about half a standard hour passed. Then she sat up and approached him. "Reeft?"

He glanced up, seemingly not startled. "Did you sleep all right?"

She nodded. "Have you slept yet?"

He patted the ground beside him. "Come sit, please. No, I haven't slept. I wanted to make sure there was someone here to watch over you. Master Qui-Gon has returned, and if he decides to take the first shift, I wouldn't say no to a little sleep, but right now I want to ask you something."

Instantly wary, she said, "Anything."

"How do you feel about this new discovery? We're sure Obi-Wan isn't your parent."

She looked across the cave, tracing a pattern of cracks on the opposite wall with her gaze. If all he'd said was true, he wouldn't press her too hard. She waited to see if he would bring up the subject of their bond.

"If there was a time I was close to my family, I don't remember it," he said. "It's different with you, but not as different as it could have been. Obi-Wan distanced himself from you to make your life at Temple easier. Both he and I knew a youngling- almost a padawan- who knew his father and drew on that knowledge to indulge his fantasies of power. Just because you know who your parents are, or thought you knew, doesn't mean you would turn out like him, but Obi-Wan wanted to give you every chance for success."

She blinked at him, trying to hide her emotions beyond that simple show of surprise. Had she ever considered that Obi-Wan might want what was best for her?

But, no, he'd hurt her by staying away. He'd never checked on her, and even those times when she'd seen him, he'd mostly talked to her when she was in the company of others, as if she was nothing special to him. He didn't love her the way she deserved to be loved. No one did. Not even Reeft, who seemed to care so much. He was only doing all this because it was his duty.

Duty. So many Jedi claimed to be doing their duty when they left her or didn't come looking for her, as if she was supposed to find them without help, as if she, as a very young child, was supposed to take matters upon herself and both find those who had lost her and also not care that they had chosen not to look for her. It didn't matter how other younglings reacted to such things; she had been hurt by them. And she couldn't quite make herself believe that she hadn't been forgotten especially, maybe because she was supposed to be Obi-Wan's daughter, or maybe because of what Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon told the Council when they returned with her to Temple.

She'd crept into the Archives when no one cared to look for her, and had stolen the holo of Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's return from Ragoon 6. It wasn't that hard to find. She knew when she'd been born, and so added three months to it. There were only four dozen holos to go through, and with the Force, finding the right one had been all too easy.

She'd listened to Obi-Wan repeat the words sent him by the Dark Force: _we came only in response to the child. When she is ready, she will fulfill her destiny in us,_ and she had filed them away, unsure what they meant, and afraid to ask anyone. Maybe everything the Jedi do her was to test whether she was a servant of the Dark Force.

_Well, if I am, you made me that way._

"Or maybe this new development doesn't bother you?" Reeft lowered his voice, and turned his back to the cave mouth. "Will you join me in a bond for only a few moments?"

She waited for an explanation, thinking maybe he was trying to trick her, but his open, guileless expression drew her in. She reached out through the Force, and found his mind open. She initiated the link, and he completed it.

_You are the child of the Dark Force, made for an unknown purporse. But no matter how you are made, you are most definitely in control of your own fate._

The fact that she had never willingly initiated such a bond perhaps accounted for her inability to hide the truth from him. _What about the words the Dark Force sent Obi-Wan?_

Reeft blinked, and his surprise carried easily down the link. But, recovering, he said, _The Dark Force lies. That's the nature of the Dark Force. When did you learn of those words?_

_I could ask you the same._

_Obi-Wan confided them to Bant, Siri and Garen when they went to Dagobah to help him. And when they returned, Garen passed the words, and all that happened on Dagobah, to me._

She hesitated, then sent, _I wanted to know, so I went to the Archives when no one cared where I was._

_When no one cared? Annie, what you're implying is not the Jedi way._

_It's how Jedi feel._

_Not all Jedi, and not even one Jedi in a thousand. Annie, why do think no one cares where you are, that you're safe? Jedi were sent after you when you were captured._

_NO, they wentafter Adee because he raped Anakin, the Chosen One, and because they care for Obi-Wan and were afraid for him. But they didn't care about me. On the trip bac, no one talked to me._

_Not even Master Adi Gallia?_

She heard his increduality, but also his genuine concern. It was the concern that frightened her. The increduality might enrage her later, but now fear held sway. _Maybe she tried a little. But she didn't seem to reallycare._

_Sometimes what we perceive is not the truth. I've been guilty of that mistake many times. _He was quiet for a moment; his mind was completely still. _Annie, do you know what the Jedi sign of repentance is?_

She shook her head.

_It is a closed fist- like this- touching the petitioner's chest, then the left side of his or her face. When a promise is made with a plea of repentance, this is the symbol that used. But the Jedi sign of promise is different. When a promise is made without a plea for repentance, it looks like this. _He touched his closed fist to his chest, then to the right side of his face. _A Jedi never makes a promise unless he or she can keep it. I promise you, Annie- _he made the sign again- _that I will look after you until my breath dies. I will stand between you and the attacks of the universe._

Five Years (Escape)

The eight remaining torturers (the five humans, the two Xalings and Fef'n) had all gathered in the torture chamber. One of the humans who hadn't earned a name muttered about all of them having to be there on Xanatos's orders even though it was only Fef'n who was doing real damage. He and the six with him had arrived two hours after Fef'n had resumed his particular pleasures, and they all seemed equally mystified as to why their presence was required.

Obi-Wan tried to keep his mind off the immediate pain as much as possible. The burns would drive him insane eventually, but until that happened, he clung to what he knew about the nature of pain: it was destructive to mind and body; it was the weapon of cowardly or corrupt men; it could not be overcome forever, but it could be held at arm's length for a longer duration if it was resisted from the first.

_Yes, _answered a small part of his mind, _and soon you'll be begging Xanatos to touch your hair again._

Obi-Wan ignored this voice; it had become increasingly vocal since the torture resumed. Cut off from the Force though he was, he knew he would be a Jedi until he lost his mind completely and knowing that gave him hope. Even if he 'broke' for Xanatos again, he could always return to the Temple, to Anakin, to the Force, and be healed. No matter the points Xanatos scored, he wouldn't keep those points if Obi-Wan regained his strength again and again. 'Breaking' wouldn't break him; he would never do Xanatos's work for him by falling into self-recriminations. The human body and mind could only take so much torture.

_Honestly, _he told the snide little voice, _I cannot think of many people who could have lasted this long._

_Arrogance_.

_No,_ Obi-Wan answered. _Truth._

"Enough," said a cold voice, and Obi-Wan's eyes flew open, so great was his surprise. Why had Xanatos returned so soon? When he fixed his gaze on Xanatos, he saw the strange object the Dark Force user held, and though he didn't know what it was, his stomach shrank. The dark silver of the half-spherical top disconcerted him in the extreme, and under normal circumstances he would have attributed the reaction to information fed him by the Force.

Fef'n stepped forward. "But we haven't even-"

Xanatos had been holding the half-sphere in both hands. Now he cradled it in his left arm and drew his lightsaber. Igniting the bloody blade, he advanced on the Mon Calamarian. Behind him, the door closed with a whoosh.

Obi-Wan heard the click of the lock. His stomach tightened again and rose as if it would clamber up his windpipe and out his mouth. Even without the Force's warnings, he knew what was to come. Mustering his strength and beating down the tiny voice that told him to just let Xanatos kill the torturers, he shouted, "Run! He's going to kill you! Run!"

Grenn understood first, and dived for the door.

Obi-Wan winced. "Stick together! You can escape him if you work-"

Xanatos flicked the lightsaber casually, neatly separating Grenn's head from his body.

Obi-Wan looked at the others, seeing, without satisfaction, the terror in their eyes. "Stay together!" And, to Fef'n, "Use the flame-maker!"

The Mon Calamarian hesitated, then took a step closer to Obi-Wan. He grabbed the Jedi master by the hair and pressed the unlit flame-maker against Obi-Wan's cheek.

_This isn't what I meant. _The tool was still hot; Obi-Wan cried out.

Xanatos leapt across the intervening space, howling something that sounded suspiciously like "MINE!" and then Fef'n was nothing more than a smoking torso crumpling to the floor.

The four humans and the Xaligs made a mad dash for the door, but Obi-Wan could have told them that escape was Force-blocked just by the way Xanatos sauntered towards them, twirling his lightsaber with a careless air.

"Xanatos, _don't!_" Obi-Wan shouted. "They're innocents!" Easily the biggest lie he'd ever told, but no matter. "Please, Xanatos! I'll let you touch my hair!"

Xanatos took another step, and the trapped torturers cringed.

What could he say? "I'll let you rape me!"

Another step.

"I'll be your slut! Your toy! Your lover! Just don't kill them!"

Xanatos hesitated, and his victims relaxed marginally.

"If there's anything Light left in you, don't kill them!"

It was the wrong thing to say, or maybe Xanatos had only been toying with his captive Jedi as he was toying with the ones he'd hired. Faster than Obi-Wan could follow, Xanatos dispatched the six cowering beings, not just killing them, but making everything from bite-sized chunks to smoking pâté. Then he deactivated his lightsaber, holstered the weapon, and faced Obi-Wan. "Aren't you glad they're dead?"

He didn't answer. He'd been able to squash that little voice, but now it was trying to speak to him again, and he didn't want to hear it.

"Ah, silence once again." Xanatos sighed. "Well, you'll have to forgive me, Obi-Wan. I do not have a Jedi's patience. I cannot wait for you to break. Darth Sidious needs some questions answered, and it's best we answer them now." He lifted the spherical thing to eye level.

Obi-Wan stared at the two needles that hung down from the sphere, and then his eyes went to the straps, and he realized the sphere was the top of a helmet to be worn. Would it give Xanatos untold access to his mind? He tried to build up his mental shields, but the shock of death, coupled with loss of the Force and exhaustion, thwarted him so that his shields only stood like a soap bubble around his mind. Easily destroyed.

Xanatos took a step closer to the bed.

Obi-Wan struggled again to put his shields in place. He called on the Force forgetting, in the midst of terror, that the Force couldn't hear him. And he called on Anakin.

_Why so afraid?_ taunted the snide voice. _You don't really know what that helmet's for. You might wear it, or he might, and who's to say what important information you hold. All the 'current' battle plans in your head are most likely obsolete._

For the first time, the snide voice was a comfort, but it also opened Obi-Wan's eyes to the source of his fear. Somehow, despite the drugs, he was being fed a warning by the Force. He could feel it now, like a rivulet of water that had escaped a stronger stream. He couldn't sense anything through that rivulet, like Xanatos's emotions or the general state of the Force around him, and he still couldn't feel the Force that dwelt within his very cells, but that rivulet told him all he needed to know just then. The Force was breaking through the drugs, and that helmet was extremely dangerous. Again he sent, confident the Force would hear him, _Force give me strength._

Xanatos reached the bed and touched a lever Obi-Wan had long ago noticed, but forgotten because it was never used. The bed angled up until the Jedi sat up partially. "Easier for me," Xanatos said, and he lifted the helmet to place it on Obi-Wan's head.

The Jedi twisted this way and that in his bonds, knowing he couldn't avoid the helmet forever, but driven by the fear that coursed through him like his own blood. Then he couldn't move, and he knew Xanatos held him with the Force. _Be with me. I need to resist whatever that helmet does. I cannot betray the Jedi or the Republic._ He worked to build his shields one last time, but they stayed the same soap-bubble strength. Somehow that would have to be enough.

The helmet was heavier than it looked, and it hummed unpleasantly, making his temples, then his cheekbones and finally his entire, aching body throb in time with its malevolent pulse.

Then one of the needles punctured the skin of his neck, finding the artery there, and Obi-Wan gasped at the flood of pain that tried to cut his breathing short. When the other needle slipped into his ear, resting against his eardrum, he held very still, terrified almost beyond all reason. He knew the fear was most likely being fed by Xanatos, and that he was more susceptible to his emotions because of all he had endured, but he could scarcely hold his fear in check.

Xanatos whispered, "This mind-probe is the first of its kind. It's only been tested on one other, and _he_ died of his own horror and fear. I'm expecting better of you, but you've already been through so much. This just might kill you." He touched Obi-Wan's face, caressing his cheek. "I'm going to learn what I must learn, one way or the other, but I'll give you this one chance to retain your sanity. Tell me everything you know about the Jedi's plans for the war, for the Senate, and for those members of the Order not ready to fight on their own."

_The younglings! _flashed though Obi-Wan's mind, and he quickly dispelled the thought. He knew about the younglings; Reeft had confided in him a short while before he left Temple. He couldn't, _wouldn't_ reveal anything about them.

The helmet's humming rose in pitch and frequency. Obi-Wan's teeth vibrated. He locked gazes with Xanatos and waited for the worst. Whatever was going to happen now, he would go down swinging.

Xanatos sat on the stool he'd occupied many times before, his head now on a level with Obi-Wan's. He held a small remote, and now he dropped his gaze to its screen. "We'll try the lowest setting. There's no need to drive you out of your mind immediately. Giving a false sense of security is an excellent way to gain information with maximum emotional and minimum physical damage." He touched his fingers to the remote. "Tell me everything you know about the missions of all currently-active Jedi."

The needle inside his ear shifted; a bolt of agony ripped through his head and down his neck, flaring around the second needle before moving further down. It closed a fist around his heart and stole the air from his lungs. His vision dimmed, and though he had lost that rivulet of the Force, he was sure Xanatos could feel exactly what he felt. Groaning far back in his throat, he thought, _So it's to be more pain. In a way, this is less serious than I thought. I thought Xanatos was going to invade my-_

_Tell me everything you know about the missions of all currently-active Jedi._

Obi-Wan grimaced as the voice echoed in his mind, bringing more pain as well as a sense of invasion. His bubble-shield had dissolved. _I will tell you nothing._

_The second setting, then. I would have been shocked if you broke on the first. You are, after all, General Kenobi, Pupil of Qui-Gon Jinn._ The humming agony leapt up a notch, blazing like fire behind Obi-Wan's squeezed-shut eyelids. _Answer my question._

_No. _Obi-Wan clenched his hands into fists as a line of fire writhed under his skin like an intravenous snake. It coiled around his neck, then trailed upwards and settled in the center of his forehead. He longed to take his head in his hands, but the restraints held him. _Besides, rubbing my forehead would be about as effective as damming a river with a twig._

_Obi-Wan, the Analogy-Maker! Is that what they should have named you instead of Negotiator? Ah. Perhaps not._ The pain increased. _You will begin negotiating for your sanity soon._

_I may pass out, Xanatos, but have no illusions about my sanity. _He sent the thought through a haze of red, unsure if Xanatos even heard him, and not caring.

Then he was introduced to the first true horror of the mind-probe. Images flashed before his closed lids: impersonal slaughters and spoke directly to his heart and his sense of justice. He stared, eyes flying open, anguish bubbling up in his mind. But then he thought, _No. These are created things. No basis in reality._

_Ah, so Jedi do lie to themselves. That comes as no surprise. These are actual deaths you witness, General Kenobi. These men, women and children died._

He watched two small girls- they could have been twins- cowering before a towering soldier. Obi-Wan sucked in his breath when the soldier opened fire, ripping the girls into so much confetti. His stomach turned over and he screamed, both aloud and in his mind.

And the pain rose, crushing his lungs. He had a terrible notion that he could feel what the girls felt as they died.

_Very good, Obi-Wan! You are feeling what they felt I knew it wouldn't take you long to make the connection! Shall we try the next level, or will you answer me?_

_They're already dead, _he tried to tell himself. _Even if I feel what they felt, they are past saving. All I can do is save those who haven't died. _The image before him changed and he knew the man who fell from a high balcony to the packed sand below. His chest exploded in fire and he/Garen screamed, _Force take my spirit!_

Tears came now, and he struggled against the bonds that held him, throwing himself against them with almost enough force to break his wrists in their shackles.

_GarenGarenGarenGaren!_ He screamed again, wholly his own scream this time.

The image faded.

_Force be thanked._

_The Force has nothing to do with it. Would you like to feel how Siri died? Or Ahleh? Her death was quite painful._

_No- No, I don't want to see her death-_

_Tell me all you know._

An image rose to his mind: the deaths of the clones below him. _To destroy the cache of weapons. That was our mission._

_I know all about that one. Give me another._

_Anything I know is months old!_

_It still may be useful. Tell me._

With the images gone and the agony only throbbing inside him, he reined in his emotions. _No._

Ahleh stood before him. She looked lovely, strong and absolutely fearless in her Jedi robes. Qui-Gon stood beside her with his hands relaxed. Neither of them knew what was coming.

His muscles screamed, and then he was inside her mind. Her thoughts were of him, and her regret that she hadn't been able to bring him. He felt her love for him, her strong belief that he would someday become a great Jedi. Then she snapped to attention as the Force rose around her, warning her.

Xanatos was there, and Ahleh's shock rocketed through his mind. Xanatos raised his weapon, and she flew back, barely registering the pain at first, only thinking, _Obi-Wan. I have to live and return to-_ Then the pain fuzzed out all thoughts, and she passed, her mind white with the torture of burning alive from the inside out.

Obi-Wan tried to turn his face from the sight, but he couldn't escape it. _Xanatos!_ he pleaded.

_Tell me what I want to know._

Obi-Wan sent images of Yoda talking to him, telling him all the missions he must accomplish: five of these. He had completed all those given him before Xanatos captured him. And he sent the mission he'd been planning to follow after destroying the weapons' cache: a faltering government much too close to the Core Worlds for comfort, had called out for Jedi intervention.

_That government fell, _Xanatos answered, and he laughed.

_You have everything now!_ Obi-Wan cried as the image of Ahleh at last faded. He sobbed. _Stop this. Please._

_You know more, Obi-Wan, _the Sith answered almost gently. _And I'm not going to stop until you tell me everything._

oOo

It wasn't quite what he'd expected, waking up in quarters that were most assuredly not his own. He didn't feel the disorientation he'd anticipated, and he didn't feel the agony of waking in his quarters and listening, if only for the briefest moment, for Obi-Wan's footsteps or voice. Shocked by the weightless feeling in his stomach, he sat up and looked across the room to where Yoda kept his plants, his books, and one or two small trinkets. Anakin rose and crossed to the shelf, touching a trinket- a glass bird. He wondered at it. Jedi didn't collect things; what was this bird to Yoda?

He couldn't ask; he sensed he was alone in the little apartment. Grateful and yet surprised by this trust he'd been given (he hadn't earned it; wasn't Yoda afraid Anakin would break down again and destroy all his nice things?) he set the bird down again and picked up the other figurine, a tiny glis-li with a broken wing. He traced the edge of the break carefully, drawn to touch it though he thought the stone might cut his finger. The edge was smooth, and he pressed his fingers to it, almost wanting the blood.

_No. A Jedi doesn't want to hurt himself or anyone else._ He closed his eyes and held the bird between his hands. It seemed to speak to him, and it was of Obi-Wan that it spoke. _Ridiculous. Everything speaks of Obi-Wan. Most likely I'll think of him all the time for the rest of my life._

But the bird still spoke to him, and he held it up before his eyes and studied the smooth break. It was almost as if the stone had healed itself. Crouching before the shelf, which was built to Yoda's height, he set the bird beside the other, and now this one caught his eye, and he muttered, "Tatooine." The browns of the wings, washed out, reminded him so strongly of his home he could almost feel the sand between his toes. _So, not everything reminds me of Obi-Wan._

"My birds you are enjoying?"

Anakin jumped, but didn't drop the little Tatooine-bird. He rose as Yoda hobbled forward, then bowed, discreetly (he hoped) setting the bird back in its place. "Yes. I didn't think you would keep something like them."

"Drawn to them I was. The one you set down found I the day after gave you to Shmi I did."

Anakin's heart beat faster. "Is the other one for Obi-Wan?"

"Yes. Found it I did after raped by Xanatos he was. Broken that wing was, and yet complete the statue seemed. Much like Obi-Wan it is."

"Do you have one for Woda? Or Mace?"

"No, but much time there is." Yoda made his way to the couch, and settling there he gestured Anakin to join him. "Slept well you did?"

Anakin nodded. "Thank you for suggesting I stay here. It made all the difference, I think."

"Made the difference your attitude did," the master answered, "but relieved I am that comforted you were."

"I'm not angry anymore, I don't think, or at least I didn't dream about finding and killing those that hurt him." Yoda hadn't asked, but he felt compelled to give his state of mind. "I don't think my anger's gone for good, or even for a long time, but what you said about the younglings is true: they need me. And the Republic needs them." He stopped. Talking about the children had reminded him of Padme, and the children the two of them were supposed to have. _The ones Obi-Wan insists we must have, though Force only knows why two babies are so important when everything's on the edge of falling down around our ears._

He stood. "I have to go."

Yoda didn't seem perturbed. "Speak later we will. Always open my door is."

Anakin looked down at his papa, and he said, "I'm off to make you a grandfather."

Yoda raised an eyebrow. "An order from the Force you are following?"

Anakin nodded. "I will never stop loving Obi-Wan, but this is about duty." He turned towards the door, but stopped. "I hope Padme understands that."

oOo

Marked for death was far better than torture, Ben decided as he wriggled his rail-thin frame into a crack in the cavern wall. The healing brand on his shoulder protested the scrape of the rock, but he ignored it. A little pain was far better than death. He closed his eyes and held very still, willing his breathing to be silent and his heartbeat to remain undetected. _At least they didn't get a chance to put a tracking chip inside me. I wouldn't stand a chance then._

Except that he wouldn't have tried to escape even with the chip in him because that was what he must do to continue living.

The hunters ran past the crevice, though one pointed at it and asked the others if their little prey could be in there, but they said no one could survive in there. The poisonous gases would kill anything that hid between the rocks for more than a minute.

Ben had smelled the gases, but the Force was coming back to him in little spurts, and so he was able to fight off the effects of the gas. It was making his head throb; that was all.

When the hunters had moved on, he waited another full minute, then slipped further into the crevice. He'd seen a light on the other end, and if he came out there, outside the 'prey range', he would be safer. And if he managed to escape, he would be the first prey specimen to do so in hundreds of years.

Not that escape was much of an accomplishment. All the 'prey' that had their arteries tapped for blood had been brain-blasted when they were very young. Using them for food was still wrong, but Ben knew he didn't have the strength to help anyone except himself. That was completely un-Jedi-like, and he longed to rescue those who were being abused, but he didn't want to put them in more danger by drawing Xanatos to them.

His head was buzzing, and he groaned softly, suddenly aware of the tons of rock pressing in on him from all sides. "Force…" He closed his eyes and writhed sideways, seeking the other opening. If he was wrong and there was no other opening, he would die here. And with his connection to the Force so chancy, would he be allowed to slip into nothingness? What awaited the non-Force-sensitives? He'd never given the question a great deal of thought. It was arrogance to forget those that were not Force-sensitive, and yet he had ignored their plight until now. No need to rebuke himself; he already felt tired and sad enough without carrying more baggage.

The crevice narrowed even more, but he could see the end for sure. Letting out all his air, he shoved himself through the narrow opening. The rocks scraped his skin through the thin shirt he wore, and he knew he would be leaving blood behind, but being so close to the other side made him willing to lose anything if he could keep his life.

_Not anything. Not more than I've already given of my mind and my heart, but my body? Yes, take anything you want. Just let me return to Coruscant and repair the damage I've caused. Let everyone at Temple be safe._

Nearing the end now. He shoved himself forward again, and stumbled out into the high wind and the dying sunlight. He shivered and huddled back against the rock, but he was grinning. "Free," he husked, then he crouched down, hugging himself in an attempt to keep warm. Judging by the slow eek of the drugs, he wouldn't have full Force-sensitivity for days, possibly weeks.

_But the collar's off, and that's something. An awful lot of something._ He hugged himself tighter as another gust threatened to chill his bones and whispered a prayer of mingled thanks and need to the Force. He wanted Anakin to be safe, though he didn't use Anakin's name and he wanted Anakin's mission to have been fulfilled, at least as far as Padme was concerned, though he didn't use her name, either. He wanted to live to see Anakin again. And he wanted the Force to return to him so that he would have more of a defense against the world and against the inner world of nightmares.

"Ben!"

He was hard-pressed not to leap to his feet and take off at a blind run. But the voice had come from far away, and it wasn't necessarily calling him. 'Ben' was the word for all mindless livestock; its literal translation was 'food on legs'. He had adopted the name as a means of disguising himself, and because on Numala a 'ben' was a fast-flowing river. Surely Xanatos wouldn't expect him to keep his name and Jedi title, and if the two of them met, being called 'ben' would do him no good, but he hoped to hide a little. Xanatos had amazing mental powers; he'd established that much. Ben had no way of knowing how extensive those powers really were, and so he thought of himself as 'ben', didn't think of the Force as such, and certainly didn't use the names of any of those he loved.

"Ben!" the voice called again, and then he heard an agonized scream as some poor, brainless soul was burned by either a branding tool or other form of punishment. He winced, but still didn't uncurl. He longed for morning, and hoped he wouldn't be found. But there was little he could do, either to help the unknown innocent or himself. Not until morning, at least. Like billions before him, he looked to the sky and prayed for the dawn.

Slowly, the sky lightened. He hadn't slept. He didn't dare, even though he knew that he needed to sleep soon or he would fall down. The weak connection to the Force would only keep him going a little longer. And he couldn't wait to get off-planet before he slept. No, a safe place had to be found, and then he would have to go out looking for food and a way to keep himself alive and away from Xanatos.

He stretched as he rose, and his muscles creaked. Well, at least he could walk. He surveyed the Rojo IV landscape with a practiced eye and tried not to see the phantom bodies of dead younglings that wanted to press in on his conscious mind. Xanatos had planted quite the flowering garden of poison in his mind, and it was from day terrors as well as nightmares that he fled.

The ground was rough and hard; this country was made of mountains. But mountains were sometimes made by water, or at least hollowed out by it. Water would be his first priority, and might be the hardest thing to find. When he was fourteen, he had learned Rojo IV was mostly a desert place, the few water sources being redirected into the lands where the ben were kept. Still, untamed streams might exist; he just needed to be persistent in his looking, and logical as well.

At least out here he was far away from those who wanted to eat him. He bit his lip, then left off it. He'd gained too many telling actions while serving his time as Xanatos's prisoner; it was time to rid himself of them all, or he might catch the eye of the wrong person just when he wanted to be invisible to everyone. Consciously keeping his face still and blank, he started towards the nearest cave, seeking what had hollowed it out.

At the cave's mouth, he smelled the water, and his shock was so great that he almost laughed. But he mastered himself and slipped inside, on the lookout for any animal that might be using the cave for is own purposes. If he'd believed in luck, he would have said it was in. The cave was empty, and the only evidence of animals (or anything else besides rock and the little stream) was months old. He thanked 'fate' and knelt by the stream. He might not be able to drink the water, but he must try. He took a handful and brought it to his lips. It smelled all right, though his hands smelled terrible. They were filthy. He drank the water, then crawled behind a cluster of boulders where he would be hidden from all except the most determined hunters. He slept.

Early afternoon, probably of the same day, but he couldn't know for sure. All he knew was that he was even stiffer than he had been before he found the cave. He stretched carefully after listening to make sure he was still alone. At least his stomach was calm. The water wasn't poison after all. But why would a cave so well-provisioned be uninhabited? _I don't know, and I can't. I won't be staying here long anyway, so it doesn't matter. I have to get home._

He moved to the cave's mouth and peered out into the sunlight. A small grazing animal was feeding on a flowering bush less than a stone's throw from where he stood, and he watched it for a moment, enjoying the beauty despite the need to be gone that coursed through his veins. _Some of my soul has survived. _

The animal snapped up another flower, then glanced at him casually. It seemed to accept him as part of the landscape, and he gazed back at it, not daring to move a muscle. Its presence comforted him more than the water. He wanted to reach out to it, but the Force wasn't at his disposal for something so complicated.

A timeless moment passed, then the animal took two steps towards him. Broad as a full-grown nekatrrix but shorter, it made him smile in spite of his exhaustion. When the animal took another step, Ben was shocked to realize the creature was practically offering itself as an escort, or a mode of transportation. To assume any such thing wasn't wise, but he couldn't shake the feeling. He put out a hand, and waited to see what the animal would do.

It came to him and nuzzled his hand, then moved even closer and nuzzled his chest, then his cheek. It sniffed him and sneezed, but didn't retreat. Even when he brought a hand up to stroke the side of its face it didn't pull back or shy at all.

Could this be a gift from the Force or was this simply a domesticated creature that had escaped its keepers? Whichever, Ben knew he would be a fool to resist such help. He spent close to half an hour reassuring the beast and getting to know it, then he mounted. He usually didn't spend so much time getting to know his mounts, since he could know them instantly through the Force, and he gained much knowledge by simply riding them. But he needed to know this creature, and he needed it to know him. And while he didn't have any extra time, he couldn't afford to rush any relationship while he was weak.

When he mounted, the animal purred beneath him like an enormous cat. He settled himself comfortably, then murmured, "All right, friend; you know the territory better than I. Take me where you will."

As if it had only been waiting for his word, the animal turned and jumped into a gallop. The ride was smooth, and Ben loved it from the moment it began. He closed his eyes for a moment, just absorbing the gentle movement, then opened his eyes so he could see where they were going. The chance remained that the animal would take him back to its pen, if it was domesticated, and so he had to be wary. But having the animal was almost like having a friend, and he allowed himself to be unreasonably comforted, just to keep the nightmares and terrors at bay. Danger might be coming, but for now he was safe.

oOo

Alone on Ragoon 6, Qui-Gon watched the descent of the ship, and knew that Dooku had come again. He settled himself on a rock, leaving his lightsaber at his side, making sure that his hands were well away from its handle. Dooku was here to talk again, and he sensed, or perhaps just hoped, that the two of them wouldn't have to fight before the real healing could begin again.

Annie and Reeft had been gone for two months, and though he had only received silence to his calls to the Force about his daughter who was and wasn't his, he had regained the peace he'd owned before their arrival. Whoever Annie was, whatever she was meant to be, wherever Obi-Wan was, alive or dead, Qui-Gon was meant to wait for Dooku and lead his former master to peace.

The ship landed, and the ramp descended almost before the engines had quit. Qui-Gon rose, though he'd wanted to meet Dooku in a relaxed position. The Force drew him towards the ship, and when Dooku appeared at the top of the ramp and gestured him forward, he entered the vessel without a second thought. Dooku might be taking him somewhere dangerous, but Qui-Gon knew the Force would be with him, and that Dooku needed him.

The ramp closed behind him and he followed Dooku to the cockpit. He settled himself into the copilot's seat and watched the ground sink away as Dooku called the engines back to life- why had he bothered to shut them off?- and made for the sky. _My time on Ragoon is over so suddenly. _He wasn't disturbed by this, but only smiled secretly at the quick changes the Force orchestrated. It was like being afloat on a rushing stream.

"I have bad news," Dooku said once they'd broken through the atmosphere. "Obi-Wan has escaped Xanatos's lair."

"Bad news?" Qui-Gon asked as his heart leapt. "Has Obi-Wan returned to Temple?"

"I don't know, but I doubt it. He broke the Force collar with anger, and yet he's still without the Force because of the drugs Xanatos has given him."

"Obi-Wan knows how to break a Force collar with the Light Force."

Dooku waved a hand. "I don't care how it happened, only that he is being hunted by Sidious personally. The Sith has sent out all his thoughts to Rojo IV and he is sending tens of thousands of troops to capture and hold Obi-Wan."

Many questions rose to the surface of Qui-Gon's mind, and his heart ached to know the answers to all, but he put each and every one aside so he could ask the one that would tell him where Dooku's loyalties now lay. "You say 'the Sith' as if you are not one of them. Have you decided to leave Sidious?"

"Yes. I have left the Separatists. Xanatos heads them now, though he is only a figurehead. He cares nothing for their operation, only for his pleasures. He lusts for Obi-Wan and had brought him almost to heel when the Jedi escaped."

Qui-Gon worked to keep the anger from his voice. It was difficult. "If Obi-Wan had truly been so close to 'heel', as you call it, then he wouldn't have been able to escape."

Dooku sighed. "I know."

Qui-Gon's eyebrow rose of its own accord. For a moment, it was almost like the old days, when he and his master had been out on one mission after another, always working for the Jedi, never resting, even for a day. Except this could be better than that, because Dooku seemed to see the universe differently. His words argued against that fact, but Qui-Gon was hearing more than words could tell. "Do you know how Obi-Wan escaped?"

"I know only a little. Xanatos was using a new invention to take certain information from Obi-Wan's mind because he was proving extremely resistant to torture."

Qui-Gon digested that.

Dooku said, "I don't know what information Xanatos learned, but in the midst of a session with the mind-control helmet, Obi-Wan broke the Force-collar and injured Xanatos. The drugs should have made such a move impossible."

Qui-Gon waited for him to go on. He sensed that speaking now might drive Dooku into silence. Was his former master embarrassed to have to relate such things, either because he had recently been a party to them, or because he had never imagined anyone being able to do what 'weak Obi-Wan' had done? Whichever, or for some other reason entirely, he needed to be allowed to proceed at his own pace and without interruptions.

"Xanatos was incapacitated for at least two hours." Dooku worked at his controls, setting them for the jump to hyperspace. Qui-Gon didn't peek; showing his trust was as crucial as listening. "I don't know how Obi-Wan escaped the compound itself, with the door locked and the guards, but he did, and no one was able to track him once he left the general vicinity." He tapped in two more commands, waited for the reply, then the ship leapt out of normal space. "All the guards that were supposed to contain Obi-Wan were executed so that the news of Obi-Wan's escape would not be spread." A small, icy smile. "I was not supposed to be privy to this information, but Xanatos is notorious for leaving his mind wide open when he is angry." He sighed, and the smile fell away. "I wish I could tell you that we were on our way to Rojo IV."

"I am not meant to help Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon's throat ached, but he resisted the urge to swallow.

"He will survive. The Force wishes it." Dooku sighed again, and now Qui-Gon heard the sadness in the sound. "I have been more than deluded, and I have no one to blame but myself. You knew the path I was taking long before anyone else, even if you only knew subconsciously. You tried to help me. Obi-Wan tried to help me. And Yoda tried everything he knew, right up until I left Geonosis." One final sigh, then he straightened his shoulders. "Self-recriminations are past. I only need to know what the Force wants from me, why my change of heart is so important, or if it is important at all to anyone besides myself."

"It is important to me," Qui-Gon answered. "And Master Yoda will rejoice to see you back."

"There was a happiness I missed, Qui-Gon. I was meant to feel peace, as are all Jedi, and to have the abiding joy of serving the Force, but there was a happiness I missed, and I don't know what it was, only that it can't be reclaimed."

"I lost a chance to be happy forever with Obi-Wan. Maybe you lost a similar happiness."

"Perhaps." The older man touched a screen, and Qui-Gon saw they were headed for the heart of the Republic. "Whatever it was, it is gone now. And we have a more important mission than chasing lost dreams. I must speak with Master Yoda. He has a mission for me, though it cannot be as a double agent. Sidious knows I am not to be trusted."

Qui-Gon didn't answer. His thoughts had wandered back to Obi-Wan. Even if the Force wanted Obi-Wan to live, the Darkness was ascendant. _Watch for my Obi-Wan. If he's meant to live, help him._ It was useless prayer, he knew; the Force was more a field than an interested parent looking after its children. It gave him no comfort. But it was the best he could do.

oOo

The animal- a female; he'd named her Glis-li- had brought him deep into the hills where many more like her waited near a large pool. Ben slipped from her back and she nuzzled him gently. He went to the water and drank again. Two small animals, babies of the species, maybe, brought him fruits as large as his two fists, tasting more like meat than fruit. He ate, then went to Glis-li and touched her nose. She snuffled his hands, then caught him by the front of his tunic and carried him into the water. Here she bathed with him, rolling him gently back and forth, coating him with saliva that felt and smelled strangely like soap. Then she dunked him a few times and brought him back to shore. He had given her complete control because the terrors were returning, and it was all he could do to keep from screaming.

His logical mind would have asked how an animal could do so much, and his abused soul would have doubted the Force could do so much without his direction, but he questioned nothing as he was carried back to shore. He shivered hard as the wind whistled in his ears and chilled his skin. But then she laid down and settled him on her stomach. He shivered harder and snuggled against her soft fur. Two smaller versions of his savior curled up on either side of him, and he closed his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered.

_All is well, _Glis-li seemed to answer, and in his exhaustion he didn't question what he thought he heard.

He didn't dream about the younglings, or about Anakin. Instead, he dreamed he was walking on the shore of a beautiful island surrounded by a golden ocean. When a song like chiming bells and laughter called him out to sea, he stepped out into the water, but was lifted up so that he walked on top of the waves. Following the music further and further out, he soon lost sight of land, but he wasn't afraid. The water would carry him, he knew.

"Obi-Wan."

He tried to run to her, but the water was meant for walking only. He struggled to reach her, and she waitec for him, her hands out.

"Take it slowly, Obi-Wan. I'm not going anywhere," his master, Ahleh, said. "This is just a dream you're having, but because of your exhaustion, you won't be able to control it as well as you might another. But I'm here of my own accord, so you won't lose me."

When he was still a long way off, he asked, "How are you here? And why are you here?"

"To help you, and as to how, I don't know, except that all will be well if you trust in the Force."

"I know." Then he was near enough to touch her, and she caught his hands in both of hers. "Master… I've been at lower places in my life. Why are you here now? Not that I want you to leave."

"Dear Obi-Wan." She released one of his hands and touched his cheek.

He flinched. "Sorry, Master. I'm not afraid of you. It's just…"

"I need you to seek me, Obi-Wan. Fear is going to rule your heart unless you seek me each time you sleep. Xanatos has done much more damage than you know. Being with me will not help you forever, but it will sustain you until you can return home and recover."

"I'm fine, Master. Just a little jumpy."

"What does 'fine' mean, Obi-Wan? Ambulatory? That you are, perhaps, though you need help. Do you even remember what Xanatos did to you?"

He started to say yes, but the words wouldn't come. Casting his mind back, he found he couldn't remember any time before he was wriggling his way through the crevice. He reached out for thoughts of Anakin or the Temple, or even details about the Force, and received nothing more than hazy impressions, like seeing a large mountain through a fog so dense it needed to be cut. He winced, and ripped his hands from her grasp to cover his face. "Help me…"

She caught his wrists and gently pulled his hands away from his face. "I _am_ here to help you, Obi-Wan. This _is_ the worst time in your life, at least so far. Once you're away from this planet, someone else- someone flesh and blood- may be able to help you, but until then, I will help you." She smiled. "See? You didn't flinch this time. We're already making progress. Think of this like your time with the imagined balls and the golden stream of the Force, and you won't be too far off."

He nodded, and allowed her to guide him into a meditative posture. "I can't even remember the nightmares."

"In some cultures, they're called night terrors. They can't be recalled when you wake, but they grip you while you sleep."

He nodded. "It's just like that with me." A pause, then, "Master, when will I remember more about Anakin, at least?"

"You won't remember Anakin and everything else until you remember what Xanatos did to you, and you aren't ready to remember that."

He smiled weakly. "That's true. I can't imagine ever being ready."

"Oh, you will. This is just like when you were five and six years old. I promise you'll be stronger soon. But for now, you need to rest."

"Can you tell me about the animals that are guarding me?"

"Obi-Wan, rest means no talking. I'll tell you more later. For now, you must rest."

He didn't dare close his eyes, but he took comfort from her hands holding his. He passed into deeper dreams full of warmth and light.

Morning came, and he opened his eyes on a wakening world. The young ones that slept on either side of him were stirring, and one of them licked his cheek, bringing him completely into the world of the waking. He smiled a little, and when the pup licked him again, he rubbed its ears with fingers that were still healing from the clawing he'd done in some distant, forgotten time. The youngling pulled away, clambered off its mother and wandered to the water, plunging its mouth in and drinking noisily.

Ben's smile widened. He turned his gaze to Glis-li, and she purred far back in her throat; he felt the rumble under one outstretched hand. "You're my savior," he told her, and her purr intensified.

The other pup brought him more of the meaty fruit, and he ate ravenously, devouring three of the fruits before Glis-li gently stopped him and carried him to the water for a drink and another bath. This time she used her tongue, and though it hurt a little, when she was done he felt so much better he thought he could sing or dance, or both at once. But when he stood and tried to walk on his own, he only managed a few steps before the pups (others than those he'd been sleeping beside, he believed) barred his way and nudged him back towards the center of the family group. Others of Glis-li's kind, many of them larger, wandered over to sniff him, and two or three picked him up and carried from here to there, where they would bathe him in dust, then water, or place him before a bush and rip up fronds for him to eat. These also tasted good and gave him energy, but he remembered Glis-li's lesson and didn't eat too many.

The only words spoken to him, besides those he heard in his dreams, were _All is well, _spoken/thought by Glis-li and her kind. He trusted in these words, but as the days turned to weeks, he realized that her words were somewhat limited. Yes, all was well where they rested, but eventually, and long before he was ready, he was going to have to try to get home, even though he wasn't sure exactly where home lay. He was afraid of leaving the safety of the furred ones he'd named Jedi-kin without knowing what the word meant. He couldn't imagine how he would reach home, except that he must fly a ship, and yet, he couldn't even recall what 'a ship' looked like.

But the night terrors were fading, and the daytime fears had disappeared entirely. He had to be grateful for that. His talks with Ahleh, whether he made them up in his own head or they were real, helped strengthen his resolve to go back out into the world and fight for peace. He was told, repeatedly because he kept asking for fear of misunderstanding, that his fears would return, along with his full memory, when it was time.

oOo

Annie's hands shook. She crouched beside the bed where her master lay, fast asleep, and she wondered if she could strangle him before he woke. Afraid that her thoughts might reach him, she retreated from the room. In the common room, she huddled into herself on the couch and fortified her shields. Reeft hadn't pressed her to lower them, but his words worked subtle and almost continual magic on her. Some day soon he would brainwash her, as all the other padawans her age were brainwashed, into believing that the Jedi were somehow good, despite all she knew to the contrary, and that to follow them in obscurity was her own path.

She couldn't allow him to destroy her plans for the future.

Once Ryn-yn was dead, fallen into the trap she'd set with Sidious's help, she had been taken by Dark Force users- not Sith, but strong in the Darkness- and taught how to protect herself. She had thought herself invincible. But Reeft, in his gentle, determined, trusting way, was breaking down the walls the Dark Force users had taught her to build up. She hadn't time to repair the walls, even though he never begrudged her any time she spent alone. She hadn't wanted to be alone; she had wanted him near. She still wanted him near.

_He's destroying me_. Knowing that truth, and speaking over and over again to herself, helped, but not as much as it should. I was only with great difficulty that she remembered all the Jedi had done, and failed to do, to her. Her anger was trying to fall away without it, and once it was gone, she would have no defense against Reeft's soft slings and arrows. She needed that protection, or she would have to face what she'd done to Ryn-yn, what she dreamed about doing to Yoda or Anakin or Obi-Wan. Or Qui-Gon, who had left her without even saying good-bye, without even caring a little, without speaking words of apology when they'd met again on Ragoon 6.

There. Better. The anger was rising, fortifying her. But she knew the cracks in her shield would grow unless she found a way to stop Reeft's influence. And since her normal stony ways had done nothing but inspire him, and when she did respond to him he sought to help her all the more, the only true way to stop him was to end his life.

Ryn-yn had been ripped apart; she'd stood, safe, off to one side while he was slaughtered and watched the ten thousand droids surround him and shoot his body apart. He had fought well, but there were too many droids, and they focused too intently on him, covering him from all sides, including above, and even below for some squirmed forward and shot at his feet. In the end, he'd been overwhelmed by numbers.

He had died slowly and in great pain. She had felt everything because of the bond he'd forced her to make; she enjoyed the moment when he realized that she had set him up for this fall. And he knew the plan: that his death was to cover Obi-Wan's abduction. He didn't know, because she didn't know, what Xanatos was going to do to Obi-Wan, but he knew Obi-Wan would be taken, tortured, broken, if possible, then killed. He screamed his defiance to the Darkness, and cried for the Light to save Obi-Wan, to preserve his life and sanity.

He lost an arm first, then a chunk of shoulder. His legs were taken next, and then a single bolt ripped into his belly. The droids had stopped shooting, and she had walked forward. She picked up his lightsaber, stood over him, met his dying gaze, and cut his head off. Then, stepping back, she ordered the droids to shoot at him until he was nothing but a bloody mass because she didn't want there to be a chance that evidence would remain that a lightsaber had killed him.

Reeft was different from Ryn-yn the Meddler. Reeft wasn't trying to force himself on her, and that made all the difference. He didn't deserve to die in pain. He was simply in the way, and he didn't even know he was hurting her. He thought he was doing the right thing. He truly believed all the drivel he spoke, and that simpleton's belief had nearly won her over. Reeft must die, but his end could be much more gentle. She only needed to find a way to end his life.

Shifting position on the couch, she lay down and closed her eyes, composing her face as though she was asleep. Reeft was a talented master, and couldn't be tricked into much. Though he might not detect poison before he drank it, he might, and she didn't want to take that chance. No, poison was out.

So was death in battle, as she'd already decided, both because she didn't want him to suffer and because she couldn't stage another slaughter like Ryn-yn's without help, and though Sidious had promised her help, he was slow in delivering it.

_What other options do I have?_

Looking like a space angel's child, Annie searched for the swiftest, least painful way for Reeft to die. Running him through with her lightsaber while he slept would surely be the quickest and, because he was sleeping, the most effective, way to end his life. But she couldn't hide the evidence of a lightsaber stab, and, at least for now, Sidious wanted her to stay at Temple.

Not that she was planning to do what Sidious wanted much longer. Eventually, she would conquer him, as she would conquer everything else, and then there would be no one she must listen to, obey, or wait on. All her decisions would be her own.

Strangulation would be slower, and Reeft might wake and fight her off. And even if he didn't, the bruises around his neck would be too noticeable.

Smothering took too long, and would require greater strength on her part to even have a chance of succeeding.

Then she knew, and she wondered how she could be so blind. Relgia fungus grew on many surfaces on Coruscant; the stuff was a constant annoyance to maintenance workers and the owners of private homes. It didn't grow up on the higher walls, like those of 500 Republica, but it grew down in the depths. And it was fatal to any member of half a dozen species who were unlucky enough to ingest it. True, reglia was like a poison, but much quicker, cutting off air flow and stopping the heart almost simultaneously. And it could easily find its way into something Reeft ate, if only it happened to be on Annie's hands when she prepared his breakfast. And though it was quite easy to see on the side of a building, it would immediately sink into any organic material. Reglia would seep into human or near-human flesh, so it could speed the death process, but its penetration would bring an unpleasant tingle to the skin, and Reeft might have a chance to call for help. And the moment his hands burned, he wouldn't be eating anything. Best to put the reglia in porridge and touch the bowl of the spoon with her reglia-coated fingers, or dissolve it in tea and run her fingers around the rim of the cup.

So decided, Annie Jinn-Kenobi, Annie of the Sith-mind, slipped from the quarters she shared with Reeft and strode towards the gardens. In an area unofficially off-limits to padawans, dangerous plans were grown for the cures they helped to make.

Annie took a pair of gloves and a small, empty vial off a shelf. She found the labeled reglia quickly enough, blessing her Separatist-taught knowledge, and slipped some into the vial without touching it with her bare hands. She wouldn't touch it until she was safely back in her quarters. She didn't want Reeft to accidentally touch something she had and be warned.

Back in their quarters, she glanced at the chronometer, saw it was only an hour before Reeft's usual wake-up time, and crept into the kitchen.

He was there ahead of her, and she was glad she'd hidden the vial in her robes before she left the gardens.

He smiled at her as she sank down at the table, all the strength gone out of her legs suddenly. Reeft didn't look angry, but there was a touch of worry in his eyes. He turned from the bowl he'd been working with and crouched beside her chair, not touching her, no, never that because she'd made it clear she didn't want to be touched, but still he was close, and the worry in his eyes was more pronounced. "Are you all right?"

She nodded. "I just took a walk in the gardens."

He nodded, though the worry remained. "Please leave me a note next time. Temple is no longer the safe haven it was when I was a padawan. The Darkness rises every day, and though you are a strong padawan, I still fear for you. Will you leave me a note in the future? Please?"

_There won't be a future, _she thought, but only with half the determination she'd felt that morning. His eyes were so intense, so caring... How could he really care for her this much? Could he ever care enough about her to follow her to the Dark Side? Then his life could be spared.

_No. He's been completely taken in by the Jedi. He would never come with me. I'm saving him from dying a terrible death. This is the only way. He has to die. Today, if possible._

Still, looking at him, she wanted to give him something, a final gift before he died. She shoved everything behind a wall, then made the wall invisible. She took his hands and opened her mind. "Please make the bond with me."

His surprise and joy made her heart ache, but this too she hid from him.

He met her halfway and their minds were joined.

_I promise I'll leave a note next time._

_Thank you. _A smile in her mind, his smile, full of light and a love so strong she realized that if he was only unattached to the Jedi, he would have followed her anywhere just to keep her safe. _And thank you for your trust._

Tears blurred her vision, and she blinked hard, pulling back into her own mind.

His eyes were open, and he was holding out a handkerchief to her. "First steps are always hard," he said. "That's why I thanked you, not just for making me happy, but because you made a brave decision."

She took the handkerchief and thought of the reglia. It would enter even more quickly through his eyes than through his stomach. With his stomach, he would feel a moment's pain. With the reglia coming in through his eyes, he would feel nothing at all. True, he might guess that she was trying to kill him, but she trusted to his innocent, caring nature to spare him certainty. He would die mostly in peace, though in a little confusion. She held the handkerchief tightly in one fist. "May I keep this as a reminder of how much you care? I'll open our bond soon, but I'm a little…" she smiled tremblingly "startled. It was stranger and more wonderful than I thought it would be."

He nodded. "Of course." He rose. "I'll finish breakfast, then we can get an early start. There's a beautiful sight I want to show you before the sun's fully up."

She nodded. "I'll be right back."

He nodded and turned towards the counter.

She went to the table in the main room, slipped the vial from her robe and sprinkled it over the handkerchief. The cloth's organic fibers absorbed the reglia at once. She hid the vial away and returned to the kitchen. Her plan was simple: wait until he sat down, sidle innocently to his side and press the cloth over his eyes. But when she saw him mixing something in a bowl and heard him humming, off-key, to himself, her throat closed. _He's so beautifully innocent. I can't do this. He only cares about me. Maybe I should just run away, make sure he can't find me._

The thought had appeal, though she had no one to take her off Coruscant and if she remained on Coruscant she had a feeling there was nowhere she could truly hide from him.

_I have to do it. If I don't, someone else will kill him, and they won't care how much they hurt him. _She blinked, startled to realize she was near tears. She started to wipe them away, but then stopped. What better excuse to get close to him? He would see she was upset, kneel right down, and she'd just end his life right here, right now.

Swallowing, she clutched the handkerchief in one hand and said, "Reeft?"

He turned, a spoon in one hand, but when he saw the tears standing in her eyes and, she was ashamed to admit, trickling down her cheeks, he dropped the spoon, which slipped into the porridge he'd been making, and came to her. He crouched before her, his face open. "Annie, what's wrong?"

She bit her lip. Why did he have to be the only one to care about her? Why did he have to be so stubbornly devoted to the Jedi? "I'm sorry, Master," she whispered, lifting the handkerchief. She pressed it flat over his face, pushing her fingers against his eyelids.

His hands jerked, and he fell away from her, his eyes open.

She dropped the handkerchief in shock to see the green lines that spread over his eyes, shattering the corneas and turning the whites around them to a flowing jelly that invaded his pupils. She fell forward, catching herself on her hands.

His left hand jerked.

"Give up!" she howled, unable to look away from his dissolving face.

"Stay away from my padawan, Sidious." A sickening gurgle closed his throat, and his left hand spasmed.

"Reeft, just die! It will only hurt more if you fight!" Her throat closed and she thought to catch his hand, but it, too, was melting, and she couldn't.

"You're not Dark…" His hand flapped a final time, his lips peeled back from his teeth, then he was still.

She burst into tears. "Sidious!" She didn't know what she meant by yelling his name, except that she felt lost and with Reeft dead the Sith Lord was all she had.

Annie of the Sith-mind left the handkerchief where it lay on Reeft's chest. That was best.

Annie Jinn-Kenobi sobbed and turned from his body, unable to look at the handkerchief or his melted skin.

oOo

The small, imitation lightsaber burned, unseen, across Anakin's vision, then sizzled against his chest. If it hadn't been an imitation weapon, he would have been dead.

Woda dropped the half-toy in shock. "Anakin!"

His nasal voice pierced the fog that had swallowed Anakin's senses. The knight blinked hard. "I'm fine, Woda. Physically. But there's a disturbance in the Force." He called to Nela, who was working with the group of five other younglings. "Stay with them; be on your guard. Something's wrong."

"There's been a death," she said, and she gestured the younglings to put their lightsabers away. "We'll practice tomorrow. For now, we must return to our rooms." She herded them into a line and called Woda to join them.

Woda turned pleading eyes on his older brother, but Anakin shook his head. "Not this time, Woda. I need to find out what's wrong." His mind had immediately jumped to Obi-Wan, and then just as quickly away. Obi-Wan wasn't in any more danger now than he had been. Though this death, whoever had died or whoever had done the killing, would affect Obi-Wan. Of this Anakin was sure. "I'll come find you when the danger's past."

"I want to fight."

"I know. And you will someday. When you're able to fight, you probably won't want to do so." He met Nela's gaze. "Be careful."

She nodded. "You, too."

He strode from the training area and followed his senses towards the site of death. His hand itched to grasp his communicator, but he held off, for what reason he couldn't guess. _Papa must have felt it. He'll be there. And he'll know what to do._

He took the lift up three levels. Stepping out, he turned left and jogged past door after door, searching for the source of the feelings in his head and heart. Rounding a corner, he knew where he was meant to stop. His stomach turned to ice. _Reeft's quarters. Annie's quarters._

He reached their rooms and hesitated outside only for a moment. Calling the Force around him, he didn't tap the chimes, but tested the door to see if it was locked. Finding it so, he tore into the door panel with his lightsaber and cut the wires with a slice of the Force like a knife. The doors fell aside and he rushed in, his weapon raised.

The common room was deserted, but the desperate sobs coming from the kitchen led him there. He didn't put his lightsaber away, but trod cautiously forth.

Annie was kneeling beside her master. Her sobs tugged at his heart, but Anakin refused to sheath his 'saber. Instead, he crouched by Reeft's head and studied the ruined face. His stomach turned and it was only by calling on the Force for all strength that he could keep his gorge from rising. Reeft was more than dead; he'd been turned to something like a wax dummy before he was allowed to die.

_No. He could have died before this happened. _But he knew that wasn't so, and fooling himself wasn't healthy. Like a sad echo, he heard Obi-Wan's words: _Don't waste time in my traps. You'll have enough of your own._

Anakin squared his shoulders, slipped his lightsaber away, and contemplated the dead man, his master as much as Annie's, and the child herself. His skin crawled when he looked at her, and he _knew _she had killed Reeft.

_Yes, but there's no proof, and there won't be until it's too late. _Gazing at her with half-veiled eyes, he knew also that she had killed Ryn-yn. _More than just arranged for another to kill him; she did it herself. _He looked down at Reeft, and his throat closed. _And there were two left: Obi-Wan and Bant. And Obi-Wan might never come back. He's following the Force far from here._

He closed his eyes for a moment, but the Force rose like a wave inside him and his eyes snapped open again. He didn't want to be another of Annie's victims. And though he thought she wouldn't try anything here, he couldn't afford to close his eyes to her. She was dangerous, much more dangerous than he'd thought before.

She wasn't looking at him, and for this he was grateful. If she looked at him, he might see the Darkness in her eyes, and to see anything so terrible in eyes so like Obi-Wan's wasn't something he thought he could handle just then.

The door opened again, and Anakin rose, his lightsaber in his hand again. Even though he felt the wave of Light enter, he didn't put his unlit 'saber away until he saw Yoda and Mace standing in the kitchen doorway.

Yoda limped forward, leaning heavily on his stick as though he was tired, and Mace reached out and touched Annie's shoulder.

She glanced up at him, her long red hair, unbound and beautiful even in the dim light, hiding her face. "I don't know what happened. He took out his handkerchief, sneezed into it, rubbed his eyes and…" She bowed her head.

Anakin's hands fisted at his sides and he met Mace's gaze. _You can't believe her!_

Mace looked as tired as Yoda. "We'll wrap him in sheets. The pyre will need to be tonight." He grasped Annie's shoulder and urged her to her feet. "Come with me. I'll need your help getting everything ready."

She bit her lip. "But…" Her beautiful blue-green gaze fell on Reeft, and Anakin saw nothing in her eyes, nothing at all. The dead expression in her eyes filled him with even more ice and he barely kept from turning away.

"Tell the medics you should," Yoda said. "Remain here with Reeft's shell Anakin and I will."

Mace nodded, and with gentle, firm touches he guided Annie out into the hallway. The door closed behind them, and Yoda was alone with his half-son.

"Speak you must. Only moments we may have."

Anakin's hands shook. "He's…" He cleared his throat. "Annie killed him. I know it. Even if I didn't see it, I know it. And I have no proof but I know, _I know-_"

"Calm you must remain. Wish you to be upset the Darkness does. Wishes you to fall apart the Sith does. Strong and calm you must remain." Yoda laid one gnarled hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Send her away we cannot. Right into Sidious's hands we would be sending her."

That he knew well. "We can't imprison her; it's not what the Force wants. And it wouldn't work. She would just escape, and kill many while she did it." He groaned, then mastered himself. "I wish Obi-Wan was here. Not because he could make the truth any easier, but then I could hide my face against him for a moment before facing the truth. The Force doesn't give us the chance to find our comfort zone, then move out from there." He paused, sensing, or at least hoping, Yoda would speak. But when his papa was silent, Anakin said, "How can the Force wait on us when everything moves so fast? We've run out of leisure time." He stood, his mind leaving Reeft and Annie and following that thread of the Force's relentless will. "Forgive me, but I've put something off for far too long. I cannot wait longer."

Yoda nodded. "Understand I do. Remain with Reeft's body I will, though long gone his spirit is."

Anakin nodded. "Do you want me to tell Bant?"

"Tend to that I will. Tend to your errand you must."

Anakin nodded again, then stepped carefully around the shell. "She needs to be watched," he said when he was at the doorway to the kitchen.

"Yes," Yoda said. "Watched she will be." His gaze was soft with sorrow. "Go, Anakin. Nothing more can you do here. The Force will not wait for you, the Darkness or the Force as a whole."

Anakin went.

oOo

If asked why the lights in her quarters at 500 Republica were off and all the candles were lit, Padme couldn't have answered. If pressed for a reason behind the half-see-through robes she wore, she wouldn't reply. If she had tried, only these words would have emerged: It is time.

That three-word chime repeated a hundred times in the back of her mind, where she could barely hear it. It drove her to send Jar Jar off on some pointless errand and to make sure her bed was ready to receive more than just herself. She made sure all the drapes were closed, not because she was ashamed, but because what was going to happen between herself and the Will of the Force was meant to be kept secret.

She didn't want to drink, for fear that it would pollute whatever she was about to do, but she longed for something to calm her nerves. She called out for Anakin with her whole spirit, knowing he was coming but wanting him to arrive already so they could get this over with.

_No. That's the wrong way to think about this. I've put him off, with his constant asking and urging, because I've felt he wasn't ready. Now I can feel he's ready, even though we haven't talked in a week, and I'm the nervous one. I need to collect myself. This bonding has to go well. The children need to be conceived. The Force commands and we obey. If we try anything else, we'll lose. The Republic will lose._

She started to settle into a folded position, her most comfortable, but before she had quite managed it, the chimes on her door sounded. She rose, hands shaking, and went to it. _What if it's not Anakin? What if it's someone come to stop us?_ She was honest with herself; she feared more that it was Anakin than that it wasn't.

The chimes sounded again.

Padme touched the panel by the door and then he stood before her, his eyes like pools of light. He said, "We need to meditate first."

She nodded and stepped back.

He entered, locking the door behind him. "Jar Jar?"

"Not likely to bother us." Damn, even her voice was shaking! And she'd been worried about _his _composure!

Anakin took one of her hands and led her towards the bedroom. But he stopped long before they reached the doorway and settled on the floor, drawing her down with him. "Reach out to all that is good in the galaxy. There are good things waiting for you to touch them. Reach and you will know what comfort they can bring."

She sighed her frustration out. "You don't say that to younglings. How do you know I can do what you want? I've never reached out to the Force."

"The Force is already flowing through you. Just pay attention to the good things around us and the Force will dwell in your mind and give you the strength you need for what's to come." He held both of her hands now, and with his eyes closed, he said, "Obi, thank you for sending Padme the message you did. Force, be with us both."

He breathed in and out, almost soundlessly, and she could feel the muscles in his hands, relaxed to begin with, turn to malleable things. Was this what all Jedi did when they gave themselves up to be guided by the Force?

Padme drew her mind away from the unanswerable questions, and when words rose to her lips, she spoke them. "Obi-Wan, wherever you are, be safe, and return in time to see our children born."

"He's with us as much as he can be," Anakin said. "Is this enough?"

"Yes." She blinked at the calmness of her own voice and realized that she'd unconsciously done what Anakin had asked: she'd reached out to the good around her. And though the embodiment of all good, at least in her mind, was Obi-Wan, she had still managed to gain the composure she knew she must attain. "I'm ready," she said, and she opened her eyes, unable to remember when she closed them. Seeing the way he looked at her, she knew they were doing the right thing, and that what they did this day would change the world. She rose to her feet and held out a hand to him. "Time's running swiftly behind us." She blinked, surprised at the words. She'd never heard them, and yet they fit perfectly, didn't they?

He nodded, even smiled a little, losing that calm, stern expression that looked so much like Obi-Wan. "That's what Obi's master used to say. The one before Qui-Gon."

She knew nothing about a woman before Qui-Gon, but she was sure it was a woman, and she was sure that woman had been taken from Obi-Wan too soon for the child-Jedi's liking. _At least Qui-Gon was still with him, for a time. And now he doesn't need Qui-Gon. All he needs is the Force._

She shook herself mentally, surprised at the wandering of her thoughts. _Am I stalling, even now? _Yes, most assuredly. She squared her shoulders. "We'll make Obi-Wan proud."

oOo

A month passed while his body regained its strength and the drugs ran out of his system. They didn't go quietly; he threw up at least once a day for two weeks, then had messes coming out the other end for another ten days, but at last they went. The Force rushed into his mind, cradling him like the golden sea of his dreams, and yet encasing him like a seed is sheltered and protected by its husk. There was danger waiting for him, but the Force only gave to him that part of itself that would strengthen him. He didn't know, on a conscious level, that he was being hunted, but with the Force protecting him in his ignorance, he didn't need to know, at least not until the dream came.

He dreamed of a faceless lover that held him and said soft words in a low rumble that traveled through his whole body. At first, he thought it was the Force appearing in a new way, as it had taken the form of his dead master. (Strange how he couldn't remember her when he was awake, but when he slept, he knew all she had said was true. He started longing to take it back with him to the waking world.)

The faceless figure- now with glowing blue eyes and black hair that scraggled over the collar of the black clothes he wore- lowered his head to kiss Ben, and Ben knew two things at once: his name wasn't Ben, and he was a Jedi believed dead by nearly the entire galaxy, or at least by almost all who cared.

He clamped down hard on memories that threatened to drown him. "I can't," he whispered in his sleep. He rolled over, snuggling against the warmth of the youngling there. He felt the heat even in the depth of sleep and he thought, _I'm safe here. I'm happy here. I'm not hurting here. I don't need to remember anything. No one needs me, and if no one needs me, if they're getting along fine without me, and that be because they think I'm dead and they're still living their lives, then I can just stay here._

A string of names, only half of them understood, rushed through his mind and tore at the shield between his rational mind and the terrors that had ripped it apart once. He braced the shield with his will and prayed it would hold.

_Anakin. _The name echoed, and he sobbed in his sleep. He felt the younglings on either side of him stir, then settle back down. He sucked in his next sob, not wanting to disturb them.

_Younglings. The younglings are in danger._

He groaned and turned his back on the shield. _I don't see you. I'm happy here. Leave me alone._

The faceless man returned. "Just tell everything to go away and it will. That's what you want, isn't it? That's what you need." He trailed gentle fingers down Ben's cheek.

_Not Ben. I'm-_

The blue-eyed, faintly repellent man moved to kiss Ben again.

_No. I'm Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi. I'm a great-_

"Shh. Yes, you were Obi-Wan once, but you're not him anymore. You barely share his face now. I've burned most of that away, and you damaged more, ripping out stitches and leaving blood behind on my floors. I'm shocked we couldn't track you."

"Stop it!" He flung himself from Glis-li's back, but not even a jarring collision with the ground could wake him.

At least his attacker was gone. In his mind, he moved slowly through a half-circle, making sure he was quite alone. When he'd finished half the circle, he stopped. A light drew his attention. He was afraid of this new thing, but only because he was afraid of anything new. Cautiously, he moved forward, one hand outstretched.

The light flared, and in its depths he saw a young man and a young woman, both of an age, huddled against a steel door while blaster bolts rained around them. Then the young man drew a lightsaber, and Obi-Wan cried out because he knew that weapon. Even from so far away, when it should have been impossible to tell, he knew Anakin's blade.

The light flared again, overwhelming him. And in the silence of a universe turned to nothing but light- no sound, not even the buzz of his own half-formed thoughts- he heard the crying of newborn twins.

"Luke," he whispered. "Leia."

The shield stood before him as before, and he sensed all the pain that waited behind it. Words on the shield blazed red: _Accept who you are, all that goes with what you are, or lose all you have to return. Lose the galaxy you swore to protect._

He laid a hand on the shield. _I remember being touched, being burned. What could be worse than that?_

Much. More than he could even lay mental though to.

He looked up at the shield and for the first time saw the cracks spreading here and there._ It's going to fall eventually. Shall I do it now, while I'm a little prepared and might have a chance to retain my sanity, or later, when I'll surely lose everything, even the little happiness I've gained here?_

A fool's question; he'd already made his decision. Stepping back, he opened his arms wide. "Open for me. I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a great Jedi Master, command you."

He came to himself two days later. There were warm bodies beside him, but not too near. For a moment, he thought he would scream, jump up and throw himself into the water. He would strike out for the center, then tread water until he was exhausted. He would sink below the surface and all would be well.

"Well with what? My dissipated soul?" He sat up and blinked hard, resisting the urge to cover his face with his hands. He saw the circle of the creatures who had taken him in- _Try-landtri, they're called; they were my favorite animal to talk about when I wrote that paper for Melida Sing- _and he smiled, a weak drawing-up of the corners of his mouth. He stood. "Thank you." He bowed to the one he'd named Glis-li, then he turned and bowed to those all around him. "Thank you."

_All is well? _Glis-li asked, coming closer.

"Not yet, but it will be." He reached up and laid a hand on her beautiful muzzle. "Thank you for everything, but now I have to go."

Younglings rushed forward and caught his clothes gently in their teeth when he tried to pass Glis-li.

Obi-Wan said, "You have to let me go. I don't belong here. I have my own younglings to save."

They couldn't let go.

He put Force-command into the words. "Let go."

They did, staring at him with doleful eyes that threatened to bring tears to blur his vision.

"If I can, I'll return." He touched Glis-li's muzzle again, bowed one last time to the younglings that surely didn't understand why he had to go, and strode out of the protective circle. The cliffs that surrounded his sanctuary waited, and he wanted to clear them before dark. He touched the mark on his shoulder, a brand only half-hidden by the rags he wore. _So, now I bear the mark of the Rojo IV hunters. Let this be the only mark that is on me. Let me heal completely, no matter how long it takes._

He spoke to himself, not to the Force. The Force had done enough.

**Author's End Note:** The time is still the same, plus two days. We'll get another jump in time after the next chapter, I think.


	48. Coming Home

Author's Note: This chapter is un-beta'd because with my fever the way it is, I won't remember to send this off to my beta reader. All mistakes are my own. Enjoy anyway!

Five Years (Coming Home)

"Did it work?"

Anakin shook his head. "I always thought women would know instantly, or at least sooner than men. Obi knew soon after he conceived, though he didn't-" He shook his head.

"What?"

"He hides things from himself, or he did then. He does it- used to do it- to protect himself. He didn't hide everything from himself; most of the time he was completely honest with himself and everyone else. But sometimes, if a thing got too hard to deal with, he would repress and forget it."

"Forget?" She sat up; the sheet fell unnoticed to her waist. "How could he do that?"

"The Jedi can play mind-tricks on themselves, too." He sat up too, folding his arms over his chest. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's not that it's a secret, any of it; Obi would be the first to admit that he's not perfect. And it's not that I don't trust you. But so soon after we…" He nodded down towards their covered parts. "It doesn't seem right. Except I can't stop myself. It's like I need to talk about him." He sighed and racked his fingers through his hair. "I know you waited on me until I was ready, but I feel lost again."

She reached out, laid a hand on his arm. "It's because you're going to be a father. I'm afraid, too. But talk about Obi-Wan. Talking about him here is right."

"After Qui-Gon was gone-" ah, a neat way to avoid an outright lie; he'd crafted that phrase years ago just for that purpose- "Obi hid his changing feelings from himself. He didn't want to know he was getting over Qui-Gon's leaving as soon as he was. And he didn't want to fall in love with me, both because it was like repeating what had happened between him and Qui-Gon, and because there were some times we just didn't see eye to eye. Like after my mother died." He shook his head. "I should have never expected him to see rage as a good thing, but I was so blind back then…" He laughed a little. "Obi was always so understanding, even when I was driving him crazy. You could tell, if you watched him very closely, when he was getting ready to snap. Then he'd reel himself back in, and the snap would never come." He rubbed at his temples, then dropped his hands.

"I'm rambling. It's what I used to do whenever something happened I couldn't explain." He took her hands, and though he was facing her full-on and both of them were completely naked, he didn't acknowledge her beauty, at least not on the top of his mind. "This has nothing to do with Obi, not directly. Annie- she's his daughter-"

"You told me that. Stop stalling. What about her?"

"She killed Reeft." He hadn't expected the words to come out so quickly, but once they were out he was relieved. "I didn't see it happen, and I can't prove it, but I know she killed him. Instinct, complete instinct, but I know, I _know_-"

Her grip left white moons on the backs of his hands. "You think I don't believe you."

"No. I think you shouldn't believe me. I'm talking about a ten-year-old killing a skilled Jedi master." A fine sheen of sweat covered his brow. "And she might have killed her first master, too: Ryn-yn. Force, she might have had something to do with Obi's disappearance! And she's living right under our nose and all we can do is watch her and pray we'll catch her before she strikes again." He closed his eyes and made an effort to bring himself under control. Losing his composure wouldn't be good for the situation he had to face, and though Padme was the older in their joining, he felt he should be the calmer because he was the Jedi.

Then he chuckled; he couldn't help it.

She raised an eyebrow. "What? The ways of the Jedi are mysterious, but to change from anger to laughter's a new one to me."

"I was only thinking that I want to be the calm one in our friendship because I'm the Jedi. And that's ridiculous because you've always been the steady one. I'm not saying I can't be steady, but it's foolish and prideful to think I'll be 'the adult' in this situation." He sobered. "Annie is a threat, and though Yoda knows it as well, there's just as much danger sending her away from the Temple as there is keeping her with us. And maybe there's a little less risk when she's with us because now we know to watch her. I'm sure the Council will know soon, as will any and all Jedi who will have a chance to watch her on a regular basis." He met her gaze and allowed all the pain he felt to show in his eyes. "But she killed Reeft, she may have killed Ryn-yn- that possibility seems more a certainty every time I think it- and what if she did have something to do with Obi's disappearance, what so many Jedi think of as his death? Even if Obi's not really her papa-"

"How can that be in doubt?"

Anakin sighed. "Because her 'papa', if she could even be said to have one, was Sidious, and her father was the Dark Force." He rose, snagged a robe and began to pace. He worked the robe on as he moved. "The Force, both sides united, can create male or female children, but one half alone can only make what the hosts' bodies are prone to make. And there must be two hosts: someone to contribute sperm, and another to carry the child. Sidious gave the sperm and, through the power of the Dark Force to hide things, impregnated Obi-Wan while my lover's shields and defenses were completely down." He stood stock still, his eyes half-shut. "I wondered why ber'Nac was able to take all of Obi-Wan's strength and put him in a state of paralysis. ber'Nac wasn't anywhere near that strong. Even the most powerful Jedi or Sith can't bind someone's muscles without being in the same physical proximity."

"It wasn't ber'Nac," Padme breathed. "It was the Dark Force?"

"Yes." Anakin sat beside her. "The Dark Force and Sidious made Annie, then gave her to a surrogate mother to bear and raise her. They might have chosen Obi because he was peace-loving and therefore would be in fewer fights that could endanger the baby. Or maybe Sidious chose Obi because he made the mistake most do, thinking that it would be easy to kill Obi-Wan when his usefulness was at an end. There have been so many attempts on Obi's life and sanity since Annie was born that I'd be more willing to believe the second reason."

"Then why does she look so much like Obi-Wan?"

He shook his head. "A sick joke? I don't know. Maybe when Obi returns, he'll be able to answer that." He called his clothes to his hand. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I need to talk to Bant. She's probably felt Reeft's death, but I want to be there to help her."

She drew the sheet and blanket up over her breasts. Her face flushed pink. "Of course. Tend to her. I'll let you know if… if I'm pregnant."

He drew his shirt over his head, but the knelt, pants-less, beside her. He took one of her hands, allowing her to preserve her dignity. "I wish you could feel the contentment in the Force. I didn't realize how much these babies meant until the agitation disappeared." He squeezed her hand. "You're pregnant with Luke and Leia."

She smiled, and the color faded. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

He settled beside her. Bant would have others to help her. Padme only had him. "Tell me know I can make this easier."

"First, don't tell anyone I'm pregnant. If the Force as a whole wants these babies, the Dark Force might want them dead. Second, as soon as Obi-Wan returns, I want to see him. I want him to know we've done it, and I'll sleep better when he's home. Third, I don't know how to carry a baby." She blushed again. "So forget what I said about not telling anyone and tell any Jedi or doctor you trust not to spread the news. I want to make sure my babies are healthy."

"I'll do everything you ask. And more. I'll come check on you as often as I can."

"No!" She dropped the sheet and blanket to seize the front of his tunic. "The Dark Force might read something in you visiting me so often. We can't risk that. You can visit with Obi-Wan, when he's back, or with other Jedi, but this should be the last time we're seen together for a while."

She was right. He kissed one of her hands. "Words like those are why I laughed before. I'll _never_ be the wiser one in this relationship, at least not more than once every hundred times."

She chuckled. "You don' give yourself enough credit. Now, get out of here before Jar Jar gets backs. He might have lost the list with all the errands on it."

Anakin slipped into his trousers and everything else. He stood, noting that the sheet was back up over her breasts. "I'll send a doc-"

A soft chiming came from the main room, and Anakin froze, his mouth half open.

"You look like a padawan again," she said, scrambling out of bed and shrugging into a dress robe. As he watched, she ducked into the bathroom and wet her hair. Re-entering the room, she demanded, "What are you staring at? Go!" And she jabbed a finger at the curtained window.

Anakin drew up the hood on his robe, moved to the window, looked down, and nodded. There were several ledges he could land on and follow to the front of the apartment complex. He glanced back at Padme, saw her hand was on the doorknob, turned, opened the window, and jumped.

_All in all,_ he thought as he landed on the first ledge and sprang to the next, _I'm glad she moved into a new set of apartments. There isn't a killer droid to grab onto._

oOo

The realization hit him as he touched flat plain on the other side of the cliffs: the people of Rojo IV didn't have starships. If he wanted to leave this world, he would have to hope that Xanatos was still here, a more than likely possibility. And, of course, he would have to steal Xanatos's ship.

It was full dark now; he hadn't dared to use his Force-enhanced movements lest he be detected. For the past month, he'd gone to sleep when the sun was low in the sky and woken after it had risen. These were the habits of the try-landtri, and he'd fallen easily into their ways. Now he yawned, but kept walking. Most of his exhaustion was psychological, and even if it wasn't, he refused to send a flare of Force-calling up.

_Xanatos must be taken by surprise. I have no weapon- though, knowing his ways, he has most likely kept my lightsaber, so I may have a chance to retrieve it. _He strode forward, his bare feet eating up the plain's hard ground. Stones he tried to avoid, but he refused to slow down, even though the light from the sky was weak. If Xanatos hadn' already made his move against the younglings- and sense told Obi-Wan he hadn't because the Temple most likely still stood- then he had to make all haste to warn Yoda that the plan to protect the younglings had been compromised.

He walked the sun up, then found a deserted cave- _Force, the very one I hid in that first night; I'm sure of it-_ and slept the sun down again. He regretted losing an entire day, but he let it go, knowing his body would only do what it must to keep him on his feet for another night's walk. He dug roots for a meal and ate as he walked, stopping at two streams to drink deeply of the water.

Towards the end of this second night, he saw the rising mounds of a large habitation-center and nodded to himself. This was where he'd been kept; the echo of his escape-memories was like a bad taste in the back of his mouth. _And I'm going to have to really look at them to find a way to get back in. _Just now he looked like something that had been run over by a try-landtri and then left out in the sun and rain for a fortnight.

Now was the best time to examine the memories of his escape, though the very idea of doing so made his skin tighten over his muscles and his scalp prickled. He found a cave- again, uninhabited; he was still being looked after- hid himself far in the back behind a conveniently-large stalactite, drew his knees to his chest, and closed his eyes.

Xanatos had kept up the mental and physical torture for almost two weeks. Obi-Wan had 'watched' millions die, and by the end of it all he'd lost most of his ability to tell machine-induced imagery from those things truly before his eyes. He flinched whenever he was approached by anyone, and he often screamed Anakin's name. He'd screamed for Qui-Gon, too, and for Yoda, and, towards the end of his captivity, for his mostly-forgotten parents, begging them not o leave him at the scary house (his view of Temple as a child).

Then a strange miracle happened. In the middle of a session, his mind had shut down, blocking all images and sounds. In their place was a small, still voice: _I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, am a GREAT JEDI MASTER!_ He'd been on Dagobah, shouting those words into the uncaring swamp. And with those words came this knowledge: he must escape. At the time, he hadn't been able to remember why he must escape. He had forgotten his own name the moment the words faded. And he couldn't imagine escaping when he waws so weak, frightened, and filled with drugs. But he had reached up- Xanatos had at some point stopped shackling him to the bed, or perhaps he had only forgotten that day- and yanked off the helmet. He remembered rolling off the table, dropping the helmet at his feet. Then he had launched himself at a startled Xanatos, bearing the other man to the floor and knocing him out.

_I did more than that._ His stomach tightened and it was only through a force of will that he was able to keep the roots down. _I slammed his head into the floor of the torture chamber until he bled, then I rose, kicked him in his jewels six- no, seven- times, kicked him in the ribs, then grabbed the helmet and jammed it on his head. It was still hooked up to the rest of the machine._

He swallowed the need to puke. _He could be dead. That might be why I've been safe. I might have killed him._ He waited for either more sickness or relief, praying he could still feel remorse. A beat passed: he felt nothing.

Still nothing.

Then his stomach twisted like a snake and he knew that his soul was still intact, though he would be dealing with more guilt than Qui-Gon had when Xanatos walked inot the black pool.

_I'd rather have guilt than be dead inside._

After he'd left Xanatos on the floor, he'd left the small compound. It had been full day, but no one had seemed to mark him until he left the habitation-center. Then he'd been captured by hunters and branded.

_Then instincts took over. I ran from the hunters as well, found that crevice, and escaped. They didn't get a single 'milking' off me. _His skin crawled and shrank. _Foce, I could have died among them. _

He pictured the escape from Xanatos's compound more clearly, remembering the doors and hallways he'd taken. Surely that way would be guarded this time, but if there was one way out, surely he could find a way in.

Remembering the escape route brought other memories and Obi-Wan sprang from his curled position so he could throw up onto the cave floor instead of onto his own knees. _I stink enough already without that,_ he thought, but this was a distant musing because he could hear his own mindless screaming again, and feel the panic known to any trapped animal.

When his stomach had nothing more to push upwards, Obi-Wan groaned, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and settled back where he'd been. He wouldn't have to sleep beside the mess; he couldn't put off his escape another day. Now that he remembered everything, the only task left was to try for home.

He rose, willing his mind to calm, for his breathing to slow. This he did still without reaching out to the Force. He would call he Force to his aid soon enough. Resisting the urge to straighten rags that would only fall apart if he tugged on them much more, breathing out his injured pride, Obi-Wan stepped over the mess on the ground and crept to the mouth of the cave.

He stood stock still, listening hard, not to the world around him, but to the anguish inside his mind. _I threw up remembering my screams, not because I might have killed Xanatos. Force, I need help. I need more healing than I- _

He swallowed the rest of that thought and buried that part of himself that wanted to sit and dissect all his actions and motivations. The younglings had to be saved; everything else could wait until after they were protected.

No one was within sight or earshot when he left the cave, and that was perfectly fine. He assumed the gait of a lost ben- completely mind-blasted, every one of them, and that made their suffering easier and harder to bear- and moved towards the city, listening hard for hunters or any other threat.

The sun rose, casting everything in a reddish-pink glow. The rocks seemed to bleed.

_Stop that right now You're just feeling guilty. Put that part of yourself away._

He tried.

A thousand paces on, as the blood-sun ceased to turn the rocks red, he saw where he would enter the city, and he remembered fleeing the same way. A tiny break in the wall around the city was being repaired by masons, but they weren't at work yet, and they hadn't been at work when he'd escaped. He'd used one of their laid-aside tools to knock aside a hunter in his way.

_None of that, either, _he thought as he wandered towards the gap in the wall. _Lying won't help anything. I killed the hunter with nothing but a tool that looked like a trowel. Then his friends grabbed me and knocked me out. When I woke up, I'd been branded and locked in a room that was more like a stable. I was surrounded by ten other 'crazy' bens. I listened to their screams and stayed out of their fights for a night, then, when we were fed in the morning, I knocked- _

Killed. _Say it._

_-killed another hunter. Then I was pursued to that crevice and let everything fade._

He stood in the shadow of the outer wall, and though he was most definitely alone, he stopped where he was and looked inside himself. _I've given myself two versions fo the same events, and that only since this morning. What is the truth? What really happened? _He sought the core of everything he remembered, half-remembered, and outright invented. The core wasn't there to be found. Groaning, he closed his eyes, knowing his sanity was key to escape, and that honesty was key to his sanity. But the core stayed hidden, and though he saw a hundred images, he had lost their true order. He remembered, or thought he remembered, attacking Xanatos, killing two hunters, then purposely forgetting everything.

"This is ridiculous. I'm past lying to myself. This isn't like Annie, when I wouldn't admit the identity of her father. This is different. It has to be."

"You're losing your mind. Why did you bother to leave when you can't even trust yourself? I'm the only person who knows what you're really like."

The Force tightened around Obi-Wan, freezing his muscles. He wanted to scream, and his heart wanted to thunder, but the fist holding him kept his body calm. His mind raved as Xanatos stepped before him.

"Come with me. We're not finished. You haven't told me everything yet."

_Lying on his back, Anakin above him, Obi-Wan called the Force around his lover's muscles, freezing them in place. Anakin cried out through their bond, begging Obi-Wna o let him go. Obi-Wan did, and Anakin fell…_

Xanatos staggered back a step as Obi-Wan pushed the Force away in a cresting wave.

"Defend yourself or let me pass," the Jedi said.

"You can fight against me when I have a lightsaber and you have nothing? You can't even remember what's happened to you in the last two months. Why should I fear a lovely little ben like you?" He grinned and touched his shoulder just where Obi-Wan bore the brand. "It suits you. Marks you as an insane halfwit." He moved his hand and the Force collected around Obi-Wan again.

But it had no chance of holding him. _I'm remembering things wrong. Help me until I can heal. I promise I will heal as You want me to heal. But I need to get home and save the younglings. And if it is Your will that they are not saved, please let me get home. I do not think I can heal otherwise. _He closed his eyes and willed the bands of energy away. They went, and when he opened his eyes, it was to see Xanatos frozen with his hands halfway out, the fingers of his left splayed and a look of consternation on his bruised face.

_So. I did attack him. _Obi-Wan closed one hand into a fist and Xanatos's eyes started out of his head. He couldn't breathe. That much was easily known by the terror in his eyes. "You don't want to die again. Let me pass."

Xanatos did something; the Force shifted, flying back at Obi-Wan.

The Jedi drew the Force into himself and it did him no harm.

"You won't kill me, Whore. You're mine. My project. My reward."

_We're wasting time. Enough words._ Obi-Wan leapt forward, his hands out, fingers crooked to claw at the other man's eyes.

Xanatos drew his lightsaber in a blur of light.

Obi-Wan shifted in midair, drawing his hands back and twisting sideways. He kicked the weapon from Xanatos's grip. He sailed past his opponent, calling after him the other weapon Xanatos carried in his belt. With his own lightsaber back in his hand, he called Xanatos's weapon. It flew to him and he sliced it neatly in half. "Not wise to bring my lightsaber, but I thank you for your mistake." He bowed.

Xanatos flew at him, screaming.

Obi-Wan sucked him in like a strong undertow. He ducked and Xanatos slammed into the ground face first.

He rose, his nose broken. "Damn you! You don't even have your whole mind and-"

"And the Force defends me. Why don't you think about that and join the Jedi?" Obi-Wan yanked a stone from the ground and slammed it into the back of Xanatos's head. As the Sith fell, the Jedi Master said, "You tried to have me. You came as close as you ever will." He moved to Xanatos's side, touched the side of the other man's neck. Under his fingers, Xanatos's pulse was strong. Obi-Wan said a quick prayer for Xanatos's healing, physically and spiritually, then slipped through the crack in the wall and into the bustle of the crowded streets beyond.

oOo

Three months had passed since their first coupling. She had asked him not to come, and yet he'd been compelled to do so. His step had been accountably light since he woke that morning, and everyone he saw, while not smiling, seemed less hell-bent on killing each other with their speeders. When he exited the elevator that opened to the penthouse, he was nearly whistling.

Jar Jar answered the door. "Annie! Annie!"

Anakin almost winced. He didn't want to think about that child. She had been assigned a new master- Mace- and was under the strictest supervision possible. All members of the Jedi Council were on alert. Surely Anakin could forget her for a few minutes. Especially when the world seemed so joyous and glad.

"Hi, Jar Jar. Is Padme here?"

"She's-a working on a speech and missa not supposs-ta disturb her. But she be happy to seein' you." He stepped aside with a flourish and a bow.

Anakin contained his strange happiness as he crossed the threshold, but he could hardly wait to talk to her. Maybe she would understand what moved him, or maybe she would share the emotion and be just as baffled. That confusion would lead her to a transparent bit of frustration, and he anticipated some good old-fashioned teasing time in the near future.

Jar Jar led him into the second room, the little office that had once been the anteroom before the bedroom. Padme had never believed in 'pomp rooms' as she called them, and had told Anakin she changed the room's function the first day she entered the apartment.

She sat at the simple desk, her back to the wall so she could see all who entered. She glanced up when they walked in, and hereyes danced with the same emotion that lit Anakin's heart. She fairly sprang from behind the desk and almost bounded to his side. Her hair was tumbled about her shoulders in a show of childish pleasure and willfulness that he hadn't seen more than half a dozen times in all the years he'd known her. The last time had been the night Luke and Leia were (hopefully) conceived.

"Jar Jar, Knight Skywalker and I have some things to discuss. Will you excuse us?"

Bowing and sputtering bubbly words, Jar Jar retreated and Anakin shut the door behind him, locking it.

"That's probably not wise. We'll raise suspicion." But her eyes laughed at risk and Anakin left the door locked.

He crossed to her and caught her shoulders with his hands. "What's happened? Everything's brighter."

"I thought a Jedi would know." She shook her head. "I can't figure it out." An errant strad tumbled over her forehead but when she brushed it aside, she did so without her usual impatience. "It's not just me, then, and it's not just you. Everything- even the sky- seems cleaner, more pure. Something hasn't been undone, but partly healed. And _something's_ celebrating that healing with fireworks and fanfare." She twisted out of his loose grip and twirled, laughing outright now. "We've won a prize. Not the war- that's still going on- but a prize that will even the odds."

"More: a prize that will eventually bring balance."

"But you're supposed to bring balance."

"I can't do it alone. I'm the spearhead, but someone is helping to carry the spear." His jaw fell open, and he caught her shoulders again when she gasped.

They spoke as one: "Obi-Wan!"

She shrugged out of his grip. "Go back to the Temple! I bet he's there! I bet he is! Quick!" And when he didn't move, so deep was his shock, she grabbed his arm and hauled him to the door. She fumbled with the locking mechanism, mastered it, and shoved him out, barely giving the doors time to part. "Go!"

He ran.

But when he reached Temple, nothing had changed. He dashed to the Council Chamber, but it was empty. He sought his papa among the younglings, but Yoda he couldn't find. He ran into Woda, who shouted two phrases as Anakin rushed past: "I told you he's alive! Go find him!"

He reached his quarters, but Obi-Wan wasn't there. Confused and hurt, Anakin sank onto the couch. "Force, where is he?" He groaned. "Something else happened, something just as good, but good to the rest of the galaxy, not to me. Maybe Xanatos died, or Dooku has joined the Light Side-" he blinked at that; he didn't believe it could ever happen- "or Annie's finally been reached. But Obi's not-"

_He comes. Wait._

Anakin sat straight up and shouted, "When? Where is he?"

He received no answer.

It was like waiting for Obi-Wan to return on that final day of separation more than five years ago. _Yes, but I don't have Reeft's help this time. _For a brief moment, his joy flickered, but then it returned. _Reeft has passed, but he's coming. He is. I don't know when, but he'll be here. I have that much as a promise, at least._

Until then, how could he waste time? Going on a mission was not an option, unless he had no choice. If it was the Will of the Force, he would be ready to receive his lover when he finally found his way home.

He paced, his gaze skating across the cluttered shelves without seeing them, then to the mess on the table. He'd meant to clean that when he returned from seeing Padme. Wouldn't cleaning the table eat up five minutes? Then he could think again.

After the table was clear, he saw the counters in the kitchen, and attacked these with a zeal usually reserved for aggressive negotiations. When the kitchen was spotless (he even waxed th floor because it would eat up more time) he emerged, down-hearted, into the common room. Now he saw the shelves, and his depression lifted. He pulled all the books off, dusted the shelves- twice- polished them, organized the books three different ways before he found the way he liked, then turned to the rest o the common room. The walls, though pristine white, could stand a scrubbing, and wasn't that picture hung jus a little crooked?

Four hours after he'd started on the table, he came up for air. He was kneeling beside his bed, making sure, for the tenth time, that nothing unseemly lay beneath. He stood, and sighed. Everything was clean to the point of sterility. What was left to do?

_Rooshes! The dining table and the low one- need rooshes! _He rushed from his quarters, but forced himself to walk slowly once he was in the corridors, if only so that he could waste more time getting to the gardens. He entered a lift and considered fouling its motor with the Force so he could have an excuse to spend an hour in repairs.

But before hecould take such a rash action- would he have really done it? He couldn't give a definitive yes or no- the doors to the lift opened and he was almost run over by a bundle of energy in Jedi robes and missing the padawan braid.

"Anakin! I was just coming up to find you. Why didn't you answer your comlink?" Nela fairly panted.

Anakin started to fumble in his robes for the offending, malfunctioning piece of equipment, but she seized his hand and dragged him out into the hall. "Forget it! He's here! Obi-Wan's here!" She yanked him down the corridor, but quickly he gained his feet and mastered his shock so he could run beside her.

"When?" he demanded.

"Only a minute ago."

"Did anyone stay with him?"

"Gareth, Arnen, Yoda, Woda, Ferus, probably half the rest of the Temple. I can't believe you didn't hear everyone come running. Mace isn't there, but that's because-" She bit her lip. "Well, you know."

"Are the medics there?"

"Obi-Wan said he didn't need them, but they hadn't left when I came to find you." She pushed in front of him to turn left, and put on another burst of speed.

_The main Temple entrance. He's there?_

Together they burst into the large foyer where assemblies were held sometimes, and Anakin left Nela behind as he charged the knot of people congregated not a stone's throw from the main doors. There weren't as many there as Nela's words had led him to believe. Still, refusing to waste time in making others move, he vaulted over their heads, turning two tight somersaults before his feet touched the stone floor again. Everyone took a step or three back from the center, and their quiet murmuring faded.

Obi-Wan, thin as smoke and grey as stormy ocean waves, leaned on a stick. He reached out for no hand to support him. His eyes blazed, and through the filth that coated his face, Anakin saw the lover he'd feared he might not recognize. Anakin saw his lover's stooped shoulders and emaciated arms inside rags that barely covered bruised nakedness.

His heart twisted in his throat. "Obi…"

His lover let the stick fall, and he took a step towards Anakin. But his knees buckled and he started to fall.

Anakin caught him and lifted him into his arms, cradling Obi-Wan against his chest. The position was a little awkward, but the knight managed it. And Obi-Wan didn't protest. The lack of response to his audacious move frightened Anakin and he hugged Obi-Wan compulsively closer.

"Have to pay…" Obi-Wan turned his head from Anakin. "Let him approach. All secrets are told."

It was only now that Anakin saw a roughly-dressed, stinking man standing a little distance from the circle. He was guarded- discreetly- by Gareth and Arnen. He shuffled forward, and though his head was at an arrogant tilt, he coughed nervously when he stood a few paces from Obi-Wan. "It's not'ing, Master Jedi. When I assed fer payment, I didn' know you were really Jedi. Thought these here'ud treat you and send you on yer way." He coughed again. "Yer home now, Master Jedi. Though Ben's not yer real name, I'd guess."

The Jedi smiled. "True for you. I'm called Obi-Wan Kenobi. I had reason to hide my identity, even from someone I knew I could trust."

The rough man looked pleased. "I know: yer Force told you, and if you disobey that, then yer not really a Jedi. Ih'sall righ'." He bowed low. "I'm glad yer home, Master Kenobi. You know where to find me if'n you need a quick ship and a pilot with closed lips. And I hope you'll forgive my request for a price."

"Don't think of it." Obi-Wan struggled in Anakin's arms. "Let me down, please. But keep your arm around me."

Anakin didn't want to let Obi-Wan support any weight on the sticks that had become his legs, but he did as he was told, keeping his arm around Obi-Wan's waist and encouraging Obi-Wan to put his own arm around the younger neck.

"Thank you for everything you gave. I have another mission for you, if you'll undertake it." He moved forward, and Anakin had to keep up with him. "The Jedi will need your help within the year. I ask you to stay in touch with us so that we can reach you when that times."

"Anything, Master Kenobi."

Arnen stepped forward and pressed a comlink into the man's hand. "This will only buzz if a Jedi is calling you. Answer immediately if you can, but only answer when you're sure you won't be overheard."

The man took the comlink and made it disappear into an inter pocket of his large coat. "I'll take good care'v'it." His eyes moved from Arnen to Obi-Wan. "Yer doin' a good thing here, Master Kenobi."

"Please call me Obi-Wan. The Jedi are just like you: seeking peace."

"It wouldn't be proper, Master Kenobi. I don't half know you."

The Jedi nodded. "Thank you for everything, Lord Solo." He leaned a little more on Anakin.

"Yer tired, and you've got ev'ry right to be. Sleep. Get better. We need you out there." The man bowed again, then turned and escorted himself out of Temple. The doors closed behind him, and he was gone.

Obi-Wan allowed Anakin to pick him up again. "I need to rest, as he said, but more than anything, I need a bath." He closed his eyes and all his muscles relaxed.

Anakin wanted to panic, but before his heart could do more than leap into his throat, Yoda said, "Sleeping he is. Treat his injuries we will, then bathe him. When wakes he does, much better he will feel."

oOo

With the permission of the medics, Anakin helped bathe his lover. His stomach flipped and twisted a dozen times as the torture Obi-Wan had endured was revealed. Some scars would never fade. The brand on his shoulder ws one of these. Another was a long string of burns that descended from his groin and ran down both legs to his feet. The marks were thin, white lines, but Anakin had some idea of how bad they'd been when inflicted.

He touched each wound gently, and whispered, "My Obi. It's all right now. You're safe. I swear you're safe."

When all the grime had been washed away and Obi-Wan's hair had been trimmed into its usual shape, he looked almost like the Obi-Wan Anakin had known two years ago. But his cheeks were sunken and each of his ribs could be counted. Anakin watched the medics dress Obi-Wan, then he asked if he could take his lover back to their rooms. The medics discussed this quickly among themselves, then their head, a venerable old man, nodded. "Take him. He may sleep more peacefully in his own bed. But we will come to see him in the morning."

Anakin nodded. He lifted Obi-Wan into his arms again and went out. He held all emotion inside; none could have known, by looking at his face, that his guts were rebelling at the injustices done. His face was a mask as he made his way back to their quarters. But when the door was closed, Anakin sobbed. He hugged Obi-Wan close again, mindful of his lover's weakened state, then bore him into their bedroom. He gestured the blankets and sheet back with the Force, then laid Obi-Wan down, folding his lover's hands comfortably on his chest. Obi-Wan rested in just that pose often.

He covered Obi-Wan, then went out. He needed to be near Obi-Wan, but he needed to calm himself first. Seizing a handkerchief, he wept into it for several minutes, then ripped the cloth into fragments. With the decimated square in the trash, Anakin felt better. He'd sent all his anguish out to the Force with those actions, and so he returned to the bedroom.

Obi-Wan hadn't stirred. Anakin crawled into bed beside him, laying on his side with the fingers of one hand intertwined with Obi-Wan's clasped hands. He whispered, "I'll be here when you wake up. You're safe now. You're safe. Whatever happened, I'm here now, and I'll keep you safe. I don't care what tries to follow you here; you're safe now. I promise. Just heal, Obi. Please." He realized he was crying again. After he'd wiped away his tears, he kept silent to prevent the tears, but he didn't sleep.

_It's only mid afternoon. This is going to be a long night. _He leaned up on his elbow and kissed Obi-Wan's brow. He reached out through their bond, something he hadn't dared to do until now, for fear he would draw attention to Obi-Wan., wherever he was hiding. Now he sought Obi-Wan's mind, and found the shield down. Obi-Wan dreamed, and held nothing back. A fear grew in Anakin's mind, that Obi-Wan was too exhausted to shelter his mind, but he set the terror aside and submerged himself in Obi-Wan's dreams. Let him be close to his lover in mind and spirit as well as body. When Obi-Wan woke, they would talk, but until then, this was the next best thing.

He pushed forward. If he learned what Obi-Wan was dreaming, he could find a way to help his lover.

But though Obi-Wan seemed to have no shields in place, the link was down. Anakin could easily force the connection- treat it as a passing bond- but without Obi-Wan's consent, it would be too much like rape. Anakin retreated.

"All right, Obi," he whispered, kissing his lover's brow again. "Keep your secrets. Just come back to me soon and let me know everything's okay. I need you. I miss you." With the tears starting again, he dashed them away with the back of his hand, scooted close to Obi-Wan so he could rest his head on his lover's shoulder, and sank into the true half meditation Obi-Wan used, with one eye open to watch and one ear open to listen.

oOo

Obi-Wan came awake with the knowledge that he'd succeeded. The younglings had been saved and he was home.

_Then why am I surrounded by Try-landtri?_ He opened his eyes, and a joyous cry flew from his lips. Hand shaking, he traced the muscles of the arm that was stretched over his chest. "Anakin." He wept, and didn't try to stop the tears. They flowed back into tangled mass of his hair.

_Except it's not tangled. _He left off his caress of Anakin's arm to touch the clean, auburn strands, then returned his hand to its soft lover's dace. _I'm definitely home. _He looked down at Anakin, smiling at the lengthing hair that spilled over his lover's collar. _You went to sleep in your robes. Were you expecting to have to jump up at a moment's notice, or were you just too tired or worried to think about such mundane things as undressing?_ He took stock of his own clothing: a medical gown. _Ah, so I've been to the infirmary and now we're back in our quarters. I must be mostly healed, or the medics wouldn't have let me out of their sight._

Anakin was asleep, or seemingly. Obi-Wan turned his head ever so slightly and saw by the chronometer that it was an hour before dawn. _I've been asleep for hours, then: over twelve. No doubt I needed it, but how long was he awake, watching me? _That didn't matter; Anakin slept now, and he was near enough to touch and smell and see. Obi-Wan moved a breath closer and kissed Anakin's hair, his tongue flicking out. _Not to mention close enough to taste. _He smiled and kissed Anakin again. _There's so much I have to remember, so much I have to recover from, but this is what I need _right now

He drifted for a time, matching his breathing to Anakin's own, willing his heartbeat to be that of his lover, tightening the fingers of the arm that was half-pinning under Anakin's weight around a handful of Anakin's robe. This time of peace would be all too short, but he forgot that. _Now I understand what Qui-Gon was always trying to tell me about living in the moment, about letting everything else go 'just for now'._

When the chronometer told him the sun should soon be rising, Obi-Wan kissed Anakin's hair again, but more firmly this time, desiring to wake the younger man. _Forgive me my selfishness, but I grow impatient. I want to see you smile at me. _He lifted Anakin's arm and let it fall back on his chest. He whispered, "Wake, Anakin. The morning's here. I want to see your beautiful eyes. Let me see them. Let me see your smile. Anakin, wake, please. Do you-"

"Do you think I'm deaf? Or slow? And what's up with the poetry? I didn't expect you to come back more enigmatic than ever." Anakin kissed Obi-Wan's chest through the thin, warm medical gown. "I've been listening to your heartbeat for quite awhile now."

"Ah, you've found the way to change from waking to sleeping without disturbing the Force around you? My lover grows; every time I come back, I hardly recognize him."

Anakin's arm tightened reflexively over Obi-Wan's chest. "Well, you're not going anywhere without me any time soon. Understand?"

"Are you giving me orders?"

"Yes, and if you don't follow them, there'll be hell to pay."

"If you don't stop smothering me, but agree to stay put for a time, I'll agree to your demands."

"Fine. If you'll open the link."

"It's become a habit to keep myself to myself."

"And completely not like you, so quit it, okay?"

Obi-Wan reached out, and met Anakin's half of the link. Pulling together and melded into one, the two of them were immersed in complete sensation for a time. Each felt the other's joy, ebbing sadness, and sensed the ghosts of the past years that stood between them. Together, they knew the truth about Annie's conception, Fef'n's enjoyment of Obi-Wan's pain, Anakin's talk with Qui-Gon, Reeft's death, Ryn-yn's death, the saving of the younglings, the uncertainty of the future, and the certainty in both their hearts that the twins had been conceived.

_Ah, but so much has happened_, Obi-Wan sent.

Anakin's answer was to wrap his arms more tightly around Obi-Wan, both physically and mentally. _We'll worry about that later. Right now, don't plan to do anything but lie next to me and heal. The healers will be here soon to check on you. They said I had to let them see you if I wanted to take you yesterday, and since there was no way I could bear being away from you, I agreed._

_I don't want to go anywhere,_ Obi-Wan answered, _but I want the two of us to rise. I need to see Coruscant's sunrise. Figuratively and literally, I've been in the dark too long._

Anakin nodded. He got up, drawing Obi-Wan after him. Holding hands (a lovers-custom they'd never before indulged in) the two Jedi left their room and entered the common room. Obi-Wan glanced around, smiled, but then drew Anakin to the balcony. He pushed the doors open and stepped outside.

The sky was pre-dawn-lit and whizzing speeders tearing clouds apart. Each and every speeder seemed brand new, or newly washed, as if all were greeting Obi-Wan with a fanfare of sights and sounds.

Obi-Wan moved closer to Anakin, dropping his lover's hand and wrapping one arm tight around Anakin's waist. "Come," he whispered to the sun. "Rise. I wish to see you."

Anakin moved behind Obi-Wan, freeing himself, and encircling Obi-Wan's waist with both arms. He rested his chin- lightly, aware of Obi-Wan's still-returning strength- on the crown of his lover's head. "I love you."

"My Anakin," the older man said, and he leaned against Anakin, allowing Anakin to support much of his weight. He sighed as Anakin drew him slightly closer and murmured nonsense sounds that spoke of pure contentment. "I love you. Always and always and always again." He smiled a little. "I was afraid, once I escaped Xanatos, I would come home and you wouldn't be here. When I saw you, all my fears seemed pointless. Then again, all fears truly are pointless, since we cannot change most of what we fear, only walk through it or try to go around it."

The sun broke over a building in the distance, its first rays leaping everywhere, touching everything in its path, blessing speeders, sentients and buildings with its light. The perfection of clean sun-glow was a drink of cool water to a parched throat, and Obi-Wan sighed, allowing any and everyone who saw him to know exactly how he felt at that moment. His mask was gone, forgotten, and though he was himself enough to know that danger waited very near, he pushed this knowledge away, bidding it to come after he'd had a little time with Anakin. He didn't ask even for a day, but maybe three or four hours this way, more if possible. The galaxy wouldn't stop just because he'd been allowed to return home, but he prayed all the worries of war could be put on hold.

He sank into the warmth of Anakin's arms about him as the sun continued to choose and touch its targets. He could feel Anakin's heart beat, almost breathe the current of Force that surrounded them both. And of course he could hear the ebb and rise of Anakin's half-formed thoughts: _Obi. My Obi. Safe now. Safe always. I'm here. I missed you. I need you. I can't be the Chosen one without you. My Obi. My dear and precious Obi. Stay with me._

_Always, _he answered, drawing on that last thought. _You have me now; calm your mind with that truth. I am here for you; I love you; I'm not leaving. Take comfort and stop the racing of your foolish mind. _He chuckled. _Foolish we have both been in these last years, foolish and wise, but we have each other now. Take comfort in that, Anakin. It's all I ask._

_I've been keeping calm for so long because there was no choice. I dreamed about Fef'n and the others; I watched them torture you. I can't be calm now. I want to move; I want to make love to you and carry you around in my arms for hours. I want you to slow me down when I try to make our joining go too fast, and I want to fight that slowness even though it makes everything sweeter._ He sighed, nuzzled Obi-Wan's neck. _And I can't do half of it because you're not ready to move like that. You need to rest._

_My body's almost healed. _Obi-Wan turned from the sun and stood on tiptoe for a moment so he could kiss Anakin's lips. _Mostly it's my mind that needs healing. You've felt the confusion that lives inside me. But the healers will be here soon, and they wouldn't approve of our joining just now. What about laying on the floor, chest to chest and thigh to thigh, until they come? Once I have been checked and we are alone again, we can do all we truly wish. _He smiled. _Though I must admit I am in needed of a complete joining and simply lying in your arms in equal measure._

There was a brief silence in Anakin's mind, as if he was weighing something subconsciously before sending. _Did the torture… get to you?_ An apologetic tone accompanied his words.

_Which torture? The burning and rape? Yes. I cannot, would not, lie to you. The rape wasn't what did it, until Fef'n started burning me in places that- _Obi-Wan turned away, walking stiff-legged to the balcony railing. _This is part of my injury, Anakin. I don't want to think about it, and when I try, a wall rises. I could see the memories a moment ago, and now they're gone or distorted. _

_Maybe it's a gift from the Force. _Anakin crossed to him, wrapping Obi-Wan tightly in his arms. He kissed Obi-Wan's hair. _Maybe you don't' have to remember everything. Why do you want to remember it?_

_I don't want to lie to myself ever again. It causes so many problems._

_Lying to yourself and the flip side- meditating on all that's happened to hurt you- aren't the only options. What are the lessons you need to learn from what Xanatos did to you? Whatever those lessons are, that's what you have to think about, not every blow you suffered._

_But I can't even remember who I killed or didn't kill. It's going to keep me up at night._

_Maybe you had to do something terrible and the Force is protecting you until you're ready to handle it._

_Or my own mind is doing what it always does: stopping me from healing by trying to 'help'. _Obi-Wan groaned. _I don't want to think of this right now. I want to think of only this moment, as Qui-Gon tried to teach me. I want to think only of you. But I can't. I am forced to be as I have always been: an analyzing, seeking, stubborn ass. _He chuckled softly. _Anakin, forgive me my exhausted ramblings, but I barely feel like the Jedi who left here. I will never surrender my place in the Force, but I am not the man who left here almost three years ago. And even after all I've told you about change being the only constant, I want to go back and- _He stopped himself, brought his hands up to cover his face. _I'm half-gone, Anakin. Look at the thinness of my arms and you'll see the thinness of my spirit. It is starved._

_I'll feed it._

The determination that accompanied this statement cut through Obi-Wan's suffering. He dropped his hands and turned in Anakin's arms, meeting his lover's gaze. "You're assuming it can be done, that you're the one to do it, and that there's time."

"You weren't sent back just to deliver a message. You were sent back to heal. I won't do it all on my own- you're going to be a big part of this. And forgive me if I'm optimistic, but you're back, you're lucid, even if you're in pain, and the Obi-Wan I knew is still alive in spite of everything Xanatos tried to do." He kissed Obi-Wan, then drew back. "Look: you didn't even flinch when you woke up and found someone next to you. That's proof you know the difference between past and present, between dreams and waking hours. You're not insane, Obi, and you're going to heal."

"And you're going to help me?"

"Now you're getting it."

Obi-Wan traced the line of Anakin's jaw with one finger. Something inside him eased; they both felt it. "I believe you."

The chime to their quarters rang, and Obi-Wan stepped back. He drew into himself, closing his mind. A look of pain crossed Anakin's face, and Obi-Wan winced in response. He opened his mind again, feeling Anakin's hurt, then relief. "I'm sorry. I've been keeping myself to myself for so long-"

The chimes sounded again.

"Come on." Anakin drew Obi-Wan off the balcony, closing the doors with the Force. "One step at a time. And if you ever start to feel overwhelmed, either reach out to me or seek your own counsel. I won't begrudge you."

"Yes, but you'll worry."

"My worries are your concern as much as they're mine, but remember that I'm responsible for my worrying. I can always give it over to the Force."

The chimes sounded a third time, and Obi-Wan, nodding to himself, went to the door and touched the panel to open it.

Nela said, "Forgive me, Master Obi-Wan, but it's about time. I hope you weren't doing anything too boisterous." She blushed at her own words, then stepped in. "I was sent because I've gained my apprentice healer's standing while you've been away, and the other healers agreed to give me this assignment when I asked." She gestured for him to sit on the couch, and as he settled himself, she unpacked her various instruments. "I have to admit I'm here not just because I want to see you for myself, to know you're alive and well, but because Master Bant wants to know as soon as you're ready for company besides Anakin. Not that I'm rushing you."

She scanned him with two devices, took a blood sample, a hair sample and (much to Anakin's embarrassment) a urine sample. All this Obi-Wan bore in good humor, his mind half on everything he'd said to Anakin and half on Bant and what she must be going through. He told Nela he would see Bant as soon as possible, and asked her to tell Bant he was well, and to speak his sorrow regarding Reeft.

When Nela had everything she needed, she retreated to the kitchen to do a quick analysis. Obi-Wan didn't leave the couch, but closed his eyes and sat very still.

Anakin sat beside him. "Obi? What is it?" He caught Obi-Wan's hands in his, squeezing gently. The fear in his eyes was easily veiled by his long lashes and a discreet turn of his head.

"I'm fine, Anakin. I still feel tired, that's all." He lifted Anakin's hand and kissed it. "Don't worry about me so much. I'm going to heal."

"You sound more confident." Anakin turned on the couch, sitting with one knee cocked so that he faced his lover. "That's the Obi-Wan I know."

"As long as I'm in my right mind, I'm always confident. The Force is my confidence." He smiled. "It took your words and Nela's competent actions to remind me." His smile turned rueful. "I may need the reminder again. The worst part of the torture was the helmet that got inside my head until I couldn't remember what I said, when I said it, or why."

"A new weapon." Anakin's hands were clammy with sweat. He wiped one on his trousers, then gripped Obi-Wan's hands again. "What does it do?"

"IT causes insanity." Obi-Wan closed his eyes. "There's a humming, like angry bees, but I couldn't hear it so much with my ears as with my mind. Within the humming I heard Xanatos's voice and the voice of all those who died in certain battles. Xanatos chose the battles I saw and heard. I watched hundreds die, and some o them were children." He opened his eyes. "Forgive me, Anakin; I don't wish to think about this right now. I'll tell you more when I can bea to think about it."

Anakin nodded. "Nobody says you have to tell everything at once. But we might want to record it, so there can be a copy in the Archives. If this new weapon is going to be used…" He looked down at his hands. "I don't mean to sound so clinical. It's just-"

"It's just that yo are doing what you must. Anakin, I take no offense."

Nela entered the common room, cleared her throat. "You have a low-grade fever, which is the result of a minor virus. I'm going to give you medicine for the virus; use cool cloths for the fever. You should rest and drink plenty of fluids." She smiled, a little tentatively, and Obi-Wan wondered how much she had heard. Probably most; it was a Jedi's job to hear everything.

"I should get used to saying 'rest and fluids'," she half-murmured. Then, "Obi-Wan… You're going to be fine. Whatever's still wrong, whatever still hurts, you can heal. We're all here to help you."

"Yes, Nela, I know. It's not help I need more of, but possibly time. I am surprised the Jedi have lasted this long. How uch longer the Order will exist, as it is, I cannot say."

She nodded. "We have all talked about that. Master Yoda has told us all the truth: the Jedi will not remain as they are, and we must defend ourselves and others as best we can until the end comes." She fidgeted with the sleeve on her robe. "I don't want to think about it, though."

"Nor do I." Obi-Wan stood. "Thank you, Nela. I'll come see Bant soon. Does this need for rest preclude my walking about a little?"

"No, but only in strictest moderation. And you shouldn't do any… other… activities." She blushed.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, those will have to wait for a time, I think." He bowed to her. "Thank you again."

She returned the bow. "Obi-Wan?"

He reached out and touched her arm. "Nela, it's still me. The man you defeated in fair combat with Anakin, Ferus and the others? That's me. I've been through a lot, but I'm still me."

She nodded. "I want you to know… you're safe here."

Tears pressed at the back of Obi-Wan's eyes. He willed them away. "Thank you."

When she was gone, Anakin wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan from behind. "You're going to be fine."

Obi-Wan allowed the tears to trickle down his cheeks. "I know. That was the siren that called me back here." He was silent for a moment, then said, "You're right; I'm poetic. Why would torture bring that out?"

"Beautiful words hide pain?" Anakin kissed Obi-Wan's hair, his ear, his cheek. "She'll come back with the medicine. Until then, you should eat. And we're not going to talk about anything except how much I love you."

"Won't you get bored talking about yourself?" Obi-Wan turned in Anakin's arms, and chuckled. "Ah, but I forgot who I'm talking to." He grinned when Anakin scowled, then took a step back. "I should eat, yes. And we should rest, or at least I should."

"I'm not leaving you, Obi, so you can just forget it. Let's just eat, then we'll talk about walking or sleeping." He guided Obi-Wan towards the kitchen, steering him with a gentle hand on his lover's shoulder. "What do you want to eat?"

Obi-Wan's stomach turned. He tried to smile past it, but memories of puking in other places haunted him. "Honestly, nothing seems appetizing just now. But I must eat, so we should try something light."

Anakin nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

It took them nearly an hour to finish their meal because they found dish after dish that Obi-Wan simply couldn't eat. And it wasn't for lack of trying. But as Obi-Wan grew paler and paler, Anakin knew his lover was doing all he could. At last, Anakin hit upon the right food, which wasn't food at all. He dosed Obi-Wan with tea, then with a thinned glass of g'hoat milk. With these two liquids settling well, he dusted the top of another glass of tea with a tasteless, nearly-invisible powder made of vitamins and minerals. This last Obi-Wan barely kept down, and he only drank half before setting the cup aside and rising, somewhat unsteadily, to his feet.

Ten minutes later, he was lying on the couch with his eyes closed and his head in Anakin's lap. "Being home is not enough."

"It will be," Anakin murmured, his hands resting on Obi-Wan's hair.

Obi-Wan sighed. "This is going to take longer than I thought."

**Author's End Note:**

Time Tally: 2 years, 9 months


	49. Five Years False Recovery

Author's Note: This one hasn't been beta'd, but enjoy anyway!

Five Years (False Recovery)

Anakin woke to the sound of Obi-Wan's sobs. He groped, still half-asleep, for his lover, and found him huddled on the very edge of the bed, his knees drawn almost too his chest. They'd migrated to the bed in the middle of the night, neither of them bothering to change clothes. Shaking off sleep, Anakin moved close and rubbed Obi-Wan's shoulder and arm. "Shh. Obi, Obi, you're safe. Obi, please don't cry. Obi, please." He murmured similar nothings in a voice that shook more and more.

Obi-Wan's breath hitched, and he came awake, moving so abruptly that he almost fell off the bed. Turning to Anakin, he said, his voice also less than steady, "It was only a dream, and it wasn't the first, but it's far from the last." He rose and moved towards the bedroom door.

Anakin was up and after him, his heart pounding. He called out to the Force to make everything better, but he heard nothing in return. Well, and he wasn't really listening, so unless the Force yelled, he wasn't likely to catch any response. He followed Obi-Wan out into the common room, reaching out through their bond, only to find Obi-Wan's shields up. "Obi!"

He called his lover's name three times before Obi-Wan stopped. He hovered by the door to the meditation room, across from the kitchen. Turning, he said, "Anakin, I'm not all right, but I will be. I need to meditate in a place of safety."

"I'll join you." His hands shook and he hid their trembling inside his sleeves. _When I find Xanatos, he's going to stay dead this time. I'll cut him into a thousand pieces and scatter those pieces to all points of the compass. _ He swallowed his anger and went to Obi-Wan. "Please open your mind to me. I'll help you."

Obi-Wan nodded, but muttered, in a half-distracted voice that set gooseflesh prickling on Anakin's arms, "Can we skip this part, please?" He blinked, as if coming out of a trance, and touched Anakin's hand on his shoulder. "The only way out of pain is through it," he said in something more like his normal tone. "Same with memories. I have to relive it." He squared his shoulders. "Do you understand? I don't want to, but I must. Healing is just something I have to do, or I'm going to lose everything: the Force, you, myself."

Anakin thought killing Xanatos would go a long way to healing Obi-Wan's pain, but he only said, "I understand. I'll help you."

Three hours later, with memories flowing raggedly from Obi-Wan's mind to his lover's, the chimes interrupted the two suffering Jedi. Dazed, Anakin rose and drew Obi-Wan with him, not wanting his lover to be alone. Obi-Wan came willingly enough, and though he struggled to put himself together physically, he kept his mind open so Anakin could hear his thoughts.

It was Bant. She sat with Obi-Wan on the couch, and Anakin, without making himself scarce, stayed out of their way as they mourned Reeft. Bant tried to press Obi-Wan for details about his time away, then back-pedaled when it became obvious he wasn't ready to talk. When all conversation had died between them, they sat in silence for an hour or two while Anakin, busily washing sheets that were all but doused in sweat, rushed back and forth and listened to the ebb and flow from Obi-Wan's mind. He packed his anger away in a myriad of boxes.

Bant rose to leave. She spoke a pleasantry to Anakin, then disappeared into the hallway. The doors closed almost silently behind her.

The moment she was gone, Obi-Wan didn't so much raise his shields as filter what he sent.

Anakin sensed he was now receiving every other memory. "Obi, you don't have to-"

"It's all right. I just want to say something, and I don't want everything you're receiving to dim my words." He caught both of Anakin's hands. "Thank you for all you've already done, and for all you'll do in the future. This is going to be a long road. Thank you for walking it with me." He kissed Anakin, tongue slipping out to dance across the knight's parting lips. "For everything, thank you." He drew back. "My stomach's settled, and though I should rest, or do no more than walk a little, I want more." He glanced at the chronometer. "By the time we finish, and after we sleep, or at least _I_ sleep, it will be time for a late lunch. Maybe I'll be able to eat then."

Anakin shook his head. "Obi, we can't. You need to sleep…" But his hands were already on the close of Obi-Wan's robe. He made himself stop. "Help me here. You're supposed to be the one with so much self-control."

Obi-Wan groaned. "Yes." And he pulled completely away.

"I didn't- I was just kidding! Sort of. You need to sleep, but everyone has to let go sometimes and… Shit, Obi, I don't know what I want you to do. You need to sleep. But when you sleep, you dream, and…" He hid his hands in his sleeves again. _Xanatos ruined everything! I can't even talk to you!_

"Meditation would probably be best right now."

Anakin followed him, and they passed another six hours in the world of pain. When that time was over, Obi-Wan went to bed, after drinking a little more g'hoat milk. Nela came during the meditation, apologizing for the delay: the infection Obi-Wan suffered was rare, found on only two worlds, both of which lay outside the Republic: Rosadi III and its sister, Rojo IV.

oOo

That night, Annie dreamed of her conception. She saw, through the eyes of a man who was nothing, Obi-Wan's face. She felt her own power, and used it to make ber'Nac do what she wanted: the impregnation of a surrogate mother. She/Sidious couldn't be carry children. Not only would it be unseemly, but it just wasn't physically possible. Surely she/he could have learned how to make it so, but why do that when it was so easy to take over the body of a powerless Jedi? Obi-Wan Kenobi, padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn, was nothing by himself, the perfect tool. Protected on all sides by over-protective Jinn and fatherly, foolish Yoda, he would bring the child to term. And once she was grown, he would sever her ties with the Jedi by convincing her to kill her surrogate mother. Maybe she would kill Jinn too; he wasn't powerful enough to be a true threat, but, like Kenobi, he could be a linchpin, and therefore his existence would not be tolerated forever.

She woke with a smile on her face.

oOo

Sidious didn't remember his dreams often. He had long ago set the sleeping part of himself far away from his waking mind. He didn't need the distraction, and refused to give into anything that could even half-bother him. And so he was unable to remember the nightmare he had a week after Obi-Wan returned to Temple.

A tall Sith, dressed in black armor, watched men scramble like ants in their haste to follow his commands. His breathing, driven by machinery, was ghostly because it had no connection to how he felt. This could be an advantage, because the Sith lord would never give anything away by means of physical cues, but that hollow breathing disturbed Sidious as few things ever had. True, the armored Sith was unreadable in every sense of the word, and that could frighten anyone; he wasn't what Sidious wanted. He lacked something essential, some power he was supposed to possess.

A young man with sandy hair, a tunic the color of desert sand, and a lightsaber entered the picture, and though he didn't do battle with the Sith, he somehow affected it. Sidious didn't like the young man, barely more than a boy, at all. He wanted the boy to die, and he wanted the Sith to do it. But the Sith didn't see the boy, not until another entered the crowded dream.

Sidious recognized this last: Anakin. He was older, and his movements were those of a Jedi master.

He killed the armored Sith.

Something writhed inside Sidious like a baby dragon just waking. It flamed, and Sidious winced. _Anakin is a threat, _he realized. _A real threat. To me. To everything I want to accomplish._

When he awoke, he felt uneasy, but unable to remember his dreams, he cast the feeling behind him. It was a groundless distraction. Things couldn't be going better for him.

oOo

Obi-Wan drifted from the world of dreams to the waking world. He'd been haunted by a distant, cold laugh, and he listened for it now, but it didn't come. He sensed that the laugh had passed beyond his hearing, and that it might not return.

He sat up, resting his head in his hands. He was alone in his bed this morning, something he'd requested five nights ago. _Xanatos is very much alive, but he's not here, and even if he was here, I've already defeated him once. I can do it again._

Before his eyes, children were blown apart, arms ripped off, eyes melted out of sockets. Obi-Wan tightened his hands into fists. "Yes, and all that happened before I saw it. There is nothing I can do about their deaths now except do everything in my power to prevent more suffering."

Yes, all that was true, but Xanatos…

Obi-Wan got up, made the bed, and thought of going to wake Anakin. He's woken his lover twice since his return, both times in the dead of night, and though Anakin had been groggy for a moment or two, he'd wrapped Obi-Wan in his strong arms and whispered loving words. He'd fallen asleep, too, leaving Obi-Wan to disentangle himself and retreat, not back to his bed, but to the couch or the meditation room to wait out the night. Obi-Wan hadn't told Anakin about his increasing insomnia, but he was sure Anakin had sensed it by now, and was only forming a way to address his former master.

_And why should he have to seek me out and try to fix things? Shouldn't I be used to violation by now? Shouldn't I be _over_ this? Force, there isn't time for this pity-party!_ He resisted the urge to plunge his fingers into his hair and tug the strands.

He sat on the edge of the bed. _I will not bother Anakin again. He can't help me, and _I need to fix this myself.

He closed his eyes and reached out to the Force. No answer came back, but a dream surfaced, something, he realized, that he'd dreamed many times between nightmares about Xanatos and the dying people. In the dream, he sat in the common room of the quarters he'd shared with Qui-Gon. He was gazing up at the picture of Master Ahleh and Qui-Gon, and though he didn't talk to them, they answered his unspoken need.

Ahleh said, "You will overcome this, Obi-Wan, as you have overcome everything else. But you must approach this differently because it is different than anything else you have suffered."

And, from his former lover: "This was a different violation. Remember that, and treat it differently."

Yes, that was the dream, with no variation.

"How?" he pleaded sotto voce. "Qui-Gon, what do I do? Help me."

He heard that cold laugh again, with those senses that were connected directly to the Force and didn't need to be plugged into the physical world. The Dark Force was laughing at him.

_Again? Am I under attack again?_

He stood up so fast the room spun. "Forget Xanatos, and forget everything he did. It's over, and even if I dream it, I can't stay this way."

"Obi?" Anakin hovered in the doorway. "Are you all right?"

Obi-Wan turned towards his lover, and caught his breath. Beautiful locks tumbled over Anakin's forehead. His clothes were rumpled, and only now did Obi-Wan realize that his lover had been sleeping in his clothes for the last five days. Not the same set; he changed every morning. But he didn't take his clothes off. _He fears he's going to need to carry me out of here, either to the medics or to Yoda. _The older man's throat tightened.

He strode across the room and wrapped his arms around Anakin, kissing him as he hadn't since they'd parted. "I'm going to be all right," he said, drawing back, "as soon as you undress, lay down with me in our bed, and make love to me. We have three years of catching up to do."

Anakin's jaw dropped. "Obi…" He shook his head, and a silly, relieved grin painted his face with light. "It hasn't been quite three years."

"So? I want to make up for three years of separation. That means we have to get started." He tugged Anakin towards the bed. "Are you saying you only want to make up for two years and nine months?"

"How much less time in bed would that be when we've only had a month together, and we made love only every third night?"

Obi-Wan stepped backwards and cast himself on the bed. He released the fastenings that held his tunic closed. "This is not the time for mathematics lessons!"

"Obi-" Then, through their bond, which had opened from Obi-Wan's end, _I want this as much as you do, but you're almost scaring me. Why the sudden change?_

Obi-Wan sat up. _I've realized that the only way to get past everything I've endured is to live. I must still heal, but while meditation is helpful, so is simply _living_. Think of it as my version of your love of flying._

Anakin's mouth quirked. _So… I'm a speeder?_

_Perhaps. _Obi-Wan rose, cupped Anakin's face in his hands. "I need to defy all Xanatos tried to do, and I can't think of a more enjoyable way to accomplish that than to join with you. Besides, I simply _need_ you, in every sense of that word." He was silent for a moment, even in his mind, then he reached out through the Force.

Anakin gasped, his eyes widening as he was made to feel the arousal that ran hot in Obi-Wan's blood. He flushed, but the words that rose in his mind died before they were born. Giving up thought, he took a step back and used the Force to rip Obi-Wan's tunic off his shoulders.

oOo

They were tangled in the sheets when they woke. Anakin slipped one leg out of the nest, careful not to disturb Obi-Wan.

"Love you," the Jedi master murmured, his eyes still closed.

"I love you, too."

"Do we have to get up?" His stomach growled so loud they both heard it, and Obi-Wan's cheeks colored ever so slightly. "Ah, there's my answer. I should rise soon and eat something besides g'hoat milk."

"Strictly speaking, that's a drink."

"So it is. That would explain why my jaw fairly aches for something to chew." He opened his eyes all the way. He turned his head and kissed Anakin's cheek. "You're stubbly."

"You sound surprised. I thought you got top marks in Anatomy."

"I'm so used to you being clean-shaved… But there were times I've enjoyed a little roughness to your skin. I forgot." A shadow clouded his eyes.

"Don't think about it as forgetting, but rediscovering. I'm not going to lose you again so soon."

"Is that your way of telling me to stay positive?"

"Not the Jedi-taught term I would have used, but yes."

"Well-said." Obi-Wan rolled out of bed. Naked, he padded to the bedroom door. "Forgive me. I need to make water."

Anakin rose and wandered out in to the common room. He thought about making breakfast, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be busy making anything when Obi-Wan returned. With any luck, maybe their hunger could wait a little longer and they could make use of the couch.

Sighing, he admitted, _Maybe not. He's barely let anything pass his lips. If he goes much longer like this, they'll put him back in the infirmary. And- _he was careful to shield his mind- _I could feel all of his ribs when we made love._

Arms came around his waist from behind. "Now you're worrying. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Obi-Wan stepped around and gripped Anakin's shoulders. "What is it? Please don't hide anything from me. I'm a big boy; I can take it."

Anakin smiled at that, but the expression didn't hold. "I want you to eat."

"Because I've lost both meat and muscle? Yes, eating would be wise." He offered a wolfish grin that was spoiled by the reddening of his cheeks. "Though I _have_ eaten recently…"

"Geez, Obi!" Anakin broke the hold on his shoulders. "You keep talking like that and I won't get any decent food in you for another three hours!"

Chuckling, Obi-Wan pivoted and strode into the kitchen. Anakin enjoyed the view for a breath, then followed.

oOo

Padme pushed another fold of bread and cheese the Nubians called a square at Obi-Wan. "Please," she said, and he smiled.

Anakin looked between the two of them, but he couldn't speak just yet. He sensed Padme needed for him to stay out of the way while she made herself comfortable in front of Obi-Wan again.

Obi-Wan took a small bite of the square as the sun sank towards the horizon, lighting his hair in auburn and silver streaks. He looked, just then, much older than he really was, venerable. The calm way he ate and watched her would have once put Anakin off because Obi-Wan's expression didn't change. He wasn't wearing a mask, but accepting all that he saw with the composure of a man who has seen close to everything.

She sighed when the latest square was gone, and rubbed at her temple.

Obi-Wan reached out and caught her hand gently in his own. "Padme, you aren't in pain."

"Yes I am. Look at you! Is the Dark Force going to give up trying to kill you now? Are you going to be allowed to rest?"

"No is the answer to the second question, and probably not will answer the first. I am glad to serve the Force, even after all this. Because Xanatos can be reached, and even if he never meets that potential, he's closer than he's ever been."

Anakin folded his arms. "I don't want to hear that-" He voiced an oath that made Obi-Wan say mildly, "Not Jedi-like, Anakin," and made Padme gasp. Anakin ignored them both. "He tried to _break_ you, Obi. Can't you see that? And when that didn't work, he tried to drive you insane. And both almost worked."

"They both worked, in their own way." Obi-Wan turned his eyes to Padme. "You're both worried about me, and it would be unfair if I didn't acknowledge that I'm in pain, that I am suffering from nightmares, and that Xanatos succeeded in many of his objectives."

"It's not like he's a tyrant-vendor who just bought out your stocks!" Anakin cried. "He's a blood-thirty psychopath who-"

"He's thirsty, yes, but not for blood, even mine. I represent something he wants."

"He wants you. Isn't that obvious? Obi, you're downplaying your own importance. You've never really understood how important you are to the Jedi, or how badly the Dark Force wants you gone. If you're not what Xanatos wants, that's only because the Dark Force has him completely under its control and he has no will of his own."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Forgive me, Anakin, but on this I believe we will have to agree to disagree." He took Padme's hand. "The children grow inside you; they will be born before the Darkness takes over all."

"Obi-Wan, you can't just drop what Anakin said." She shook her head. "I know you are wise in the ways of the Force, but I'm wise in the ways of people, in how long it can take them to heal. You need to acknowledge the possibility that Xanatos is mad and doesn't have a will of his own. That's happened to others; why couldn't it happen to him?"

"Because he is still looking for a way to escape the Darkness."

She asked, "How do you know that?"

Anakin leapt to his feet and began to pace around Padme's small sitting room. "He tried to destroy you. He wasn't looking for anything but a way to make himself feel good- in all ways, sexual and physical."

"And how do you know that?" Obi-Wan asked, aware that he was echoing Padme's words and hoping they would inspire a direct answer.

"Because what other reason could he have for using you?"

"He seeks something outside me, something he lost long before he ever knew I existed." He rose. "You're right, Padme; I'm tired. I need to rest. Any talk about the children, Xanatos, or my current condition will need to wait until I sleep." But instead of walking towards the door that would take him out into the city, he headed for her room. "I'll rest here an hour or so, then, when I wake, we'll talk."

She gaped.

So did Anakin, though a grin was fighting its way to his lips. When the door closed behind Obi-Wan, he moved to Padme's side and whispered, "That's classic Obi. Enigmatic and charming. It's times like this when I know he's going to be all right, though I can't see how we're going to get to a time that he's completely himself again."

She returned to the couch and sat. "About Xanatos…"

"He's a sick bastard that took Obi apart. I've heard of cases like this, when people defend those that hurt them because to do otherwise admits to all the pain they've suffered. Maybe Obi's doing something similar now."

"Do you think he would lie to himself that way?"

He paused, closing his eyes. "No," he said at last. "He's been working hard to avoid that." He quick shake of his head. "He can't be serious about Xanatos. He can't be. Xanatos destroyed him."

"Unless he truly is like so few people really are: forgiving."

Anakin considered that. "Maybe. That would fit him. But…" He shook his head again, and a look of frustration crossed his face. "I just can't imagine Xanatos being anything but a twisted, murdering, sadistic-"

"No one was _always_ like that. Maybe Obi-Wan senses what Xanatos used to be. And if he was once decent, he could be that way again." She looked down at her hands. "What did he do to Obi-Wan? If we knew that, maybe we could know if there's hope."

"I know exactly what he did and, knowing that, I can't see Xanatos ever returning to some semblance of sanity." He sighed. "But if it helps Obi to have hope, maybe I should let it go."

"You don't believe that."

"No."

"Then why say it?"

To that Anakin had no answer he could share.

oOo

He wasn't resting, not in a physical sense. The Force was alive with something so intense Obi-Wan was startled Anakin hadn't noticed it. _Or maybe he has noticed and hasn't connected its significance. _Whatever the reason, perhaps even because the Force wanted Anakin to help Padme in the midst of her discomfort, Obi-Wan was left to seek out the change alone. He'd thought of contacting Yoda, but if Yoda was meant to follow the change, surely he was already doing so.

The Light Force gathered around him, pointing like an arrow out into the Darkness. And in the Darkness, Obi-Wan saw Dooku, Qui-Gon, and Xanatos. Qui-Gon was surrounded by Darkness, but not of it. Dooku was more than three-quarters light, and yet he lived under death's shadow. Obi-Wan saw how close the former Sith stood to the edge of oblivion. _He'll die in the Light, but he will die._

Xanatos was a puzzle, even when illuminated by the Light. Obi-Wan studied him for a time, but then the arrow shifted and he followed it to Alderaan. From this far-off planet would come a great leader. Obi-Wan nodded, accepting this.

The arrow moved again, touching Dagobah briefly before jumping billions of parsecs right to the Core. It highlighted Coruscant, the Jedi Temple, then the building where Padme resided. It slipped in, walls melting before it, and Obi-Wan could see Anakin and Padme siting on the couch. She was holding his hands, speaking words of forbearance in his ears. The young Knight even seemed to be taking some of it in.

But there was a dimness around Anakin and Obi-Wan realized that his lover's path wasn't, even now, completely chosen or drawn. The master sighed and squshed both his frustration and his fear.

The light had one more person to touch, and it moved through the door and gazed at Obi-Wan while he meditated. Watching himself, Obi-Wan experienced a brief moment of vertigo, but then he saw the pinpricks of Light and Darkness swirling around him like insects. He watched them, at first trying to identify individuals, then simply watching the pattern. _Linchpin _echoed in his mind.

_Not me, but the Force in me._ He blinked, opening his eyes to the physical world. "What am I supposed to do about Anakin?" Telling his lover that the Force saw his indecision would bring it to light, but if Anakin had any trace of that old impulsiveness left- so hard to escape one's first nature- he might rip himself apart trying to it figure out.

It would come to light eventually, this indecision, though possibly at the worst time.

_So should I speak of it or keep my mouth shut?_ Obi-Wan rose. _I'll talk to Yoda._ He crossed to the door, resting his hand beside it for a moment. As had happened more than once since his return, he was completely shielded against the world. Pulling the shields down, he reached through his bond with Anakin, brushing against his lover's mind. Anakin's own shields were up, but not full shields, and at the first touch of Obi-Wan's mind, they fell away.

_That wasn't very long, _the younger Jedi sent.

_No. I rested in the Force, not physically. I truly need a full night's sleep, but this time alone was also truly needed._ Obi-Wan left the bedroom and smiled at Padme as she turned to face him.

His smile grew when she stood to offer him another square. "Are you going to turn me into a mouse?" But he took the square and bit into it. For the first time since he'd arrived, it tasted good.

With the first square down, he said, "Perhaps I'm hungrier than I thought. Do you mind?"

She proffered the tray. "If I minded, I wouldn't have had these out. Please."

He took his place in a chair, gesturing for Padme and Anakin to sit across from him. After swallowing the bite, he said, "Luke and Leia are going to grow up away from each other; we already know this. They're going to be separated at a very young age; we know this, too. What's hidden still are two things: who is the Jedi who will accompany you and Leia, Padme, and where will Anakin be going? The Force hasn't answered those questions yet, except to this extent: the Jedi who joins Padme will be someone I know intimately, and also someone that Anakin will want to chase away." He took another bite and was silent until he had made the square disappear entirely. "Not much help there, but a hidden promise: the Jedi will be of the unconventional sort, and that may be the best protection of all for you and your daughter. He- or she- won't be suspected."

"Is that what you learned in the last five minutes?" Anakin asked.

"Yes, and other things." Obi-Wan rose. "Forgive me, Padme, but I have to go. Anakin, you can stay if you want."

_Where are you going?_

_To see Yoda._

_Is it a secret?_ Anakin tried to hide a faint sense of hurt.

_No. You're free to come. I just didn't know if the two of you were still talking._

Anakin hesitated. _We were, but only about my concerns for you and how much you've been through. No matter how much we talk about that, it won't go away._

_No, it won't._

Anakin rose. "I should go, too. Is there anything you need?"

Padme shook her head. "If I do, I'll let you know." She stood and opened her arms to him.

Slightly surprised, he embraced her.

She stepped back. "Entertain all the possibilities."

He nodded. "I'll try."

Next she opened her arms to Obi-Wan. There was a beat of full stop before he accepted the embrace, returning it with more than his usual reticence.

She sensed this, but didn't comment. "Be careful. And get some sleep."

Obi-Wan stepped back, giving her a small bow. Then he turned and strode from her quarters, nearly colliding with Jar Jar as the Gungan made his entrance.

"Obi! So nice-en to see-"

"Forgive me, Jar Jar, but there's no time today. Perhaps another day."

Anakin ran to keep up. When they were on the elevator with the doors closed, he asked, "What is it?"

"Not here."

Anakin reached through their bond. _What is it? I felt the Force move around you two, and you all but brushed her off. It must have been something terrible to make you-_

_Not here, Anakin._

_You think someone will hear us through this connection?_

_No._

_Then why-?_

_Because I feel sick. If I'm going to throw up, I'd rather do it at Temple. _He started to raise his shields. Before they were in place, Anakin heard this thought: _Force, I need to get my control back. Living through it is helping, but this _pftranshi_ comes too soon._

_What's _pftranshiAnakin wondered, but he didn't ask Obi-Wan. Storing the word, grateful he'd absorbed some of what Obi-Wan had taught him of phonetics and retaining new words or sounds for future study, he stood beside his lover and former master and reached out to the Force, looking for an echo of whatever had driven Obi-Wan back into himself.

oOo

Bant's eyes widened when Anakin spoke the word. Then she stood and walked to the edge of the pool, staring down into it. "He said _pftranshi_? Are you sure?"

"More or less. I don't have his ear for languages. But that's what it sounded like. What is it?" He shifted, settling his hands behind his back, taking a relaxed posture that wouldn't convey his concern. The black cloth of his robes settled around him. He'd given over brown for black months ago, not knowing why, except black drew him.

"It has only one meaning I've ever heard. There was a character in classic literature with that name. She burned her parents alive, murdered her sister in ice, and drank their spirits to give herself strength. Her brother was forced to kill her to release his parents and sister from imprisonment and eternal torture. The word has been used to describe someone ruthless beyond all reason."

"But that doesn't make any sense. When Obi was talking to himself, he said, 'this pftranshi comes too soon'. Who is he talking about? Not Padme. But she's the one he pulled away from, and the embrace and bow he gave her were both just this side of respectful. It was like he had to fight just to give her that much respect. He's come to trust her, or that's what I thought, but this was like he was bowing to someone he despised. And since Obi-Wan has never despised anyone-"

"You say that as if you know." Bant sighed. "Anakin, let's not talk about his past, or about what he's felt before today. If he trusts Padme, he trusts her still. This talk about pftranshi needs to be discussed with him." She glanced over her shoulder. "You haven't talked to him about it?"

"No. He said he needed to talk to Yoda."

"Wise." She crouched, sitting on her heels. "The end will be here soon. Whatever the Force told him or hinted at, it's enough to overshadow that fact in Obi-Wan's mind, at least for a while. I wonder who he's talking about." Another sigh. "I have work to do, Anakin. Forgive me, but if you want answers, go to Obi-Wan. There's too much laying-away of supplies and organization of escape routes to be talking about something neither of us understands." She straightened and might have just walked away without another word.

But Anakin caught her shoulder. "You can't just shut yourself down," he said, knowing he had no right to say anything, but unable to stop himself. "You need to grieve for Reeft, and then you need to-"

"Move on?" She shrugged off his hand. "I will heal from this, but it is going to take a long time."

oOo

"If there's a way out of frustration, I'd gladly take it." Obi-Wan shifted, resettling his hands in his lap. His legs were crossed and he sat before Yoda, both of them on the low cushions in one of the meditation rooms. "And if there was a way out of this weakness except to keep uprooting it and going through it, I jump at the chance." He sighed. "Forgive me, Master. I'm speaking empty words that are self-defeating because they don't address specific problems and because when I speak them, they sound hopeless."

"The frustration you feel natural is. Close to another life-changing event you are, and like the one that sent you to Dagobah this one is."

"I don't have time for another years-long vacation."

"A vacation you thought it?"

"No. I'm only letting my frustration show." Obi-Wan was tempted to rise and pace, but he chided himself for lack of control and said, "I need to go back to the man I was when I left Dagobah."

"Wise that would not be, even if possible it was. Know as much as you do that man did not."

"I feel like I know too much about pain and wandering around in a mire. More than anything, I miss being clear-headed." He closed his eyes. "Here's the most recent cause for confusion and concern on my part. Padme is going to help the Dark Force. I don't know how that can be when she's meant to carry children who will one day help restore the balance, but that's what I seem to be hearing. And I'm so tired that I can't tell Where the message came from, which half, or the Force complete." He yawned, covering his mouth with one hand. "I am tired. Sleep won't help, but I am tired.

"What I really need is a brief return to that time on Dagobah."

Yoda rose and scuffed his way to the windows. He drew the curtains, casting the room into darkness. "A return to a healing time you need. Undeniable that is, though recommend it for most I would not. Look forward now the Jedi must, instead of back. Much ancient wisdom we have, and help us much of it cannot."

Obi-Wan blinked at those words, so strange that he almost doubted the identity of the master before him.

Yoda drew a flask from inside his robes. "Wondered I did why tempted to carry this for a week I have been. Finally gave into that temptation this morning I did." He uncorked the flask, filling the room with the smell of fruit mixed with rotting carcasses.

Obi-Wan grimaced despite his usual control. "Master, what is that?"

"The past, sweet and rotted." Yoda put the flask in Obi-Wan's hand. "Drink all of it you must, or stay under long enough to learn you will not."

Obi-Wan frowned. "Do we have time for this?"

"Heal you completely this will not. Heal you will not until fallen the Jedi have. And yes, fallen I do mean. Many Jedi to the Darkness will be committed before over this war is. And many in Darkness will die. But give you strength for the journey this will." He closed his hand over Obi-Wan's. "Commune now you will with things past and present and, perhaps, yet to come. Undertaken this journey has never been by a master not on the Council. Tested a few times it has been, and usually gives good results it does. But tested it I never have, nor has any who now lives."

"Do I need it?"

Yoda didn't answer.

Obi-Wan considered the flask, then tipped its contents into his mouth, swallowing quickly in an attempt to avoid the unpleasant aftertaste that had to come with such a rancid odor.

If there was an after taste, he didn't taste it. The moment the last drop of liquid was down his throat (he'd tasted something that reminded him more of dust than decay) the drug took effect and Obi-Wan swooned, falling back without even a gasp of protest.

Yoda sent for the medics, and for Anakin.

Anakin arrived first. He rushed in, not bothering to sound the chimes, and when he saw Obi-Wan, he dropped to his knees beside his lover and took his hand. "Obi?"

"Taking a journey he is," Yoda said. "Gain strength for the danger to com."

"He just said he was talking to you, not that he would…" Anakin squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"An option he did not know this sleep was until proposed it I did."

"But-" _He should have at least reached out and explained things to me! _Once again, Obi-Wan's shields had been up; once again he'd retreated from the world without telling Anakin where he was planning to go. "How long is he going to be like this?"

"Time only will tell."

Anakin cursed, but silently. He stood. "If this is what's best…"

Yoda nodded. "Recover soon he will, and stronger he will be."

Anain bowed. _And as soon as he wakes up, I'm going to have a talk with him about letting me in on things. He needs to remember we're in this together. _Looking at Obi-Wan, he added, _As soon as you wake up, I'm going to tell you how sick I am of you retreating, again an again, into your mind and shutting everyone else out. If you really want to be like that, fine, but don't expect me to put up with it._

At once contrite, he sighed. _Just come back, Obi, and be ready to talk to me. I need you as much as you need me. More, probably._

As he left, he had one more thought, this one for the Force. _Why couldn't you just let Obi stay trusting, loving and open, the way he used to be? Qui-Gon waws naturally reticent around others, but Obi had to learn that skill. It's not a skill any Jedi should want, though. Bring back the old Obi-Wan, the one who talks._

oOo

"You shouldn't be here," Mace said, stepping out on the balcony and using the Force to close the doors behind him.

"I was called," Dooku answered from the depths of the hood that shadowed his face. "Master Yoda has a mission for me."

"No mission, at least none I know of." He took out his comlink. "Yoda."

"Yes?"

"One of your old students is here. He says you're supposed to send him on a mission."

There was a pause, then Yoda said, "No mission have I. Called him the Force did?"

Dooku nodded.

"Yes," Mace said. "Do you think it was the Dark Side?"

"All too likely that is. On Coruscant he and the one with him should not be."

Mace asked, "The one-?"

Dooku murmured, "Qui-Gon lives. He awaits me below."

Mace took that in. "If you're not meant to be here, maybe you're meant-"

Dooku's comlink beeped and he took it out, studying it before speaking. "You said you wouldn't use this unless it was an emergency."

"He can't take the drugs!" Qui-Gon snapped, his voice like a foghorn, maybe shattering all chances at secrecy.

"Quiet!" Dooku urged.

"Don't let him take the drugs!" Qui-Gon said, barely softer. "He is needed here, in the waking world."

"Needs to heal he does. Strength he does not have. Assured me that stronger he would be after-"

"No!" Qui-Gon didn't seem to realize that he was not only correcting Yoda, but that he had interrupted. "He's needed, out here, now. The Darkness is going to claim all ascendancy for a thousand years if you let this happen. Obi-Wan can't go under the drugs!"

"It is too late," Mace said, feeling that truth in his mind and heart, both from Yoda and from the Force.

Qui-Gon swore. "Is there any way to bring him out?" Then, a sigh. "No. Disturbing him could be… disastrous. We could lose him forever." He groaned. "I'm too late. I knew there was a reason I was meant to come with Master Dooku. And now our reason for being here is gone." He closed his connection.

Dooku replaced his communicator. "I'll leave. The mission was to save Obi-Wan, and we failed."

"No. Not to save Obi-Wan." Yoda was silent for a moment. "Deceived we were. Again. Falling faster and faster are we." He closed the connection.

Dooku bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Master. If we'd been a little quicker-" He moved to the balcony railing and looked down into the racing traffic. He seemed to find what he sought, and leapt.

Mace didn't watch, but went back into the quarters he shared with Annie and resumed his vigil. He longed to comfort Yoda, remind him that the Force was clouded for them all. But that would bring no comfort.

oOo

Safely disguised- though how could anything be safe with the Darkness gaining power every day, every moment?- Qui-Gon resisted the urge to crush the communicator in his hand. He could have done it, if not with his bare hands then with the Force that crackled around him like live circuits. But that was only an act of anger, something that should have been long behind him.

_The Darkness has won more than a battle; it has won maybe a lifetime of them. With Obi-Wan out of the picture, the Dark Force will rise even more quickly. He is not the balancer, but a key to striking the balance._

And with the drug- Qui-Gon had heard of it; he'd read of it in a book that had long ago been also his journal- there was no way to predict either effects or duration. The last Jedi to use it had stayed drugged, though Force-sustained beyond all reasonable expectations, for ten years. If Obi-Wan was unconscious when the Fall came, he would not live. No one, even if they wanted to save him, would be able to. No dead weights would be saved.

That didn't bode well for the younglings, but at least (and here Qui-Gon was absolutely sure, without any information) the younglings were being planned for, so perhaps some, perhaps even many, would escape to fight another day. No one had planned for Obi-Wan to be incapacitated.

Yoda had been deceived by the Dark Side. Not tempted; never tempted. But deceived. And if he had been deceived, what must be happening to the other Jedi?

_What must be happening to me? I can feel my anger almost as strongly as when Ahleh and Tahl died. What kind of ascendancy is the Dark Force gaining in my thoughts, and how do I prevent it? If even Yoda was fooled…_

He wanted to be near Obi-Wan, gentle him out of the drug somehow, and never mind the danger. Because if the Force really wanted Obi-Wan to live, it wouldn't let him live as half a man, as a shell housing a broken mind. It would bring him back before the end.

_And if I try and he dies, or is nothing by a shadow wearing the face of Obi-Wan Kenobi? What then?_ Qui-Gon pocketed his communicator because he thought he might break it with his strength alone. It was like watching Xanatos walk away from the Jedi all over again, except this time Obi-Wan had been spirited away, deceived, and that by the Force and Master he was supposed to trust.

_Stop. It wasn't the Force, just a wrong interpretation of-_

Qui-Gon slipped his hands inside his sleeves to hide their trembling. Whatever happened now, it was against what was _supposed _to happen. Obi-Wan had been taken out of the fight, and surely his absence would be celebrated by the Darkness. Obi-Wan hadn't been broken, just worn down to where he could be tricked into seeking healing for himself before he reached out to others.

"Obi mine." He closed his eyes, releasing his fear, anger, and all the rest into the Force. "Wake up soon. You're not the linchpin, but without you everything will fall apart."

The Dark Force had gained a victory, and only time would tell how much damage that victory would do.

oOo

Obi-Wan traveled in the world beyond the physical world for six days. A fortnight. Three months. Half a year. Seven months. No one knew about the drug except the Jedi, and only Yoda and Mace understood what a dangerous waste of time it most likely was.

In a way, the galaxy was holding its breath. More systems fell to the Separatists every day, and the death toll had long since passed beyond talk of trillions. But for all that, nothing in the Temple moved. There were small sufferings- deep in her heart, Bant continued to grieve for Reeft, though she threw herself into protecting the younglings- but no overt changes. Padawans passed Trials, younglings became padawan learners, babies were taken to become Jedi.

Anakin grew. He divided his time between Woda, who surprised him continually, and the missions on which he was called. But the missions, while crucial, saving many thousands, sometimes even millions, were never far from home. This was per Yoda's orders, which came from a note Obi-Wan had made in his journal before going to see the venerable master: _Anakin is going to be tempted to the Darkness. I need to find a way to keep him close. I need to be there for him._ Yoda had gone into the journal on a hint from the Force, and though he had been drawn to read much else, this was the only line he had truly seen.

Luke and Leia grew, but not as they were "supposed to", according to most medics. Padme came to what should have been term, but the Force told her, as it told Yoda and the doctors, that she could not yet deliver. As she looked and felt barely as if she had been through more than a month, at least in terms of the changes she'd expected with pregnancy, she didn't fret too much. She was worried about Obi-Wan because Anakin could only tell her he'd gone on another long journey and that there was no way to contact him until he returned, but she was confident in the fate of her children. She swallowed all the frustration she felt with the Force for sending Obi-Wan on another solo mission.

Or perhaps the galaxy didn't hold its breath, for while everything seemed to go on as before, below the surface, things changed.

The simplest were the premonitions that plagued the sleep of fifty Jedi now instead of just one or two, and any doubt that they were true premonitions was tempered by the truth of the darkening world the Jedi saw around them.

Gareth had three precognitive dreams. The first was about his own death, which he took in stride, mostly because he had come to the point in his life where he knew, on more than a knowledge-deep level, that he was going to die, and his best hope was to do the best he could while he still breathed. He died alone, but that meant Arnen was safe. The second dream commanded more of his attention because he dreamed of the destruction of the Temple, and when he spoke to others about this one, he learned that dreams just like his were being had by many, and most of the details were the same, though none of the Jedi knew just when it was going to happen, and they didn't see who was attacking the Temple, just that it was falling apart. So the dream was more something that caused pain than anything useful that would help them prevent the collapse.

The third dream frightened him so badly he went to Yoda. This was in the third month of Obi-Wan's drug-sleep.

The two of them sat in Yoda's quarters, which Gareth had never seen. It was here that Obi-Wan slept, mostly still as death, hooked up to machines that kept his body from shutting down from lack of food. Garth darted looks in Obi-Wan direction from time to time as the two talked, but he didn't ask, and Yoda didn't offer any information.

"I'd just ignore the dream, except it concerns Annie, and you told all the masters…" He stopped. Yoda knew perfectly well what he'd asked. "Annie is going to kill Arnen if there's any truth to the vision. If it was really a vision and not just a dream."

"I cannot answer if it will occur," Yoda said, and his gaze was sad. He, too, glanced at Obi-Wan, then away. "I can only say that we cannot either dismiss Annie from the Temple or keep her under tighter observation. She cannot be locked up. If we did that, the end would come because the Darkness's hand would be forced." If Yoda heard the near-pun in his own words, he didn't convey it.

Gareth asked, "Wouldn't it be better maybe if the Darkness had to attack before it's time? Maybe it wouldn't be ready."

Yoda sighed. "It is ready now. Only the struggle of the Light holds it back. The time has come when clear answers nearly impossible to find are." He met Gareth's gaze. "Exhausted we all are, but the time for giving up will never come. With few or no answers, we must still proceed."

Gareth nodded and stood. He bowed. "The Jedi were never meant to see a time like this, when all we can do is survive until we're destroyed."

"No one is ever meant for that time." Yoda rose also and lifted his hand. "May the Force be with you, more now than ever before."

"Because now the Force is truly all we have."

"The Force and love, yes."

When Gareth was gone, Obi-Wan moaned softly in the midst of some dream, then was quiet again. Yoda went to the low couch where the master lay and brushed a lock of hair, more grey than red, from Obi-Wan's brow. "Dream a way out of this for yourself, for Anakin, for the children. And, if possible, for Woda and Mace."

Even ancient masters are entitled to the occasional selfish thought.

Besides the premonitions, there were the couplings, the break-ups, the I-can't-be-with-you-because-our-world-is-going-to-end excuses, and, in the midst of it all, a greater dedication to the essence of the Force, if not to the thousand-year-old tenets that had held the Jedi together for so long. _When the end comes,_ so resolved many Jedi, _it won't be because I didn't stand up for the Light._

But the most dangerous changes were happening to the Children of the Force: Anakin and his namesake.

oOo

Anakin read the tome late at night, when no one would bother him. He didn't read it when he was away from Temple because he didn't dare care it with him. He only took it down from it's place on a high shelf in an unused room when he was completely sure he'd be left to himself.

The tome was filled with talk about the Dark Force, and he wouldn't have even been tempted to read it if he hadn't seen it in the Archives during an idle wandering, flipped it open, saw it was mis-shelved, and saw handwriting he recognized. Even if he hadn't recognized the handwriting, the user had signed his name: Q. Jinn

The tome was part history book and part journal. In its pages Anakin found some of the earliest writings of the Jedi masters, tales of Sith Lords (Plagueis and others), and the story of Qui-Gon's first apprentice. The book did not give off only slight feelings in the Force, but neither was it masked, as Adee had been. When Anakin had held it for several minutes, he realized that any Darkness and Light that had existed in the book were in balance. When he realized this, it wasn't hard to believe that the book had somehow been left for him.

When he had time (and he tried to make time as often as possible) Anakin would go to the forgotten room, settle himself where he could see the door but remain hidden, open the book, and read. At first, he was just as interested in the text as in Qui-Gon's journal. Why had the master kept a _paper_ journal in a book that was itself a mystery, consisting of Darkness and Light? Then he realized that he would do better to read one or the other first. He settled for the journal.

'Dreams are a nuisance,' began the first entry. 'They make no sense, they follow me into the waking world if I'm not careful, and they don't explain themselves even if I meditate on them. Meditation isn't my passion, anyway. I'll never be like Master Yoda that way.'

Anakin realized that he was reading the words of an adolescent Qui-Gon. This both surprised and pleased him, and he read on.

In the middle of his third night of reading (this was the fourth month of Obi-Wan's drug-sleep) Anakin came across the first mention of Xanatos. Qui-Gon had become a master twenty years before, but never thought of taking a padawan because he 'didn't feel right about it; I'll never be a teacher-type. No padawan would want to learn from me when all I can teach is how to annoy the Council.'

The entry with Xanatos's name ran this way:

'I dreamed of a red-haired toddler being kicked by his father. Master Yoda says the dream will reveal itself in time if it means anything. From the way he looked at me, I'm sure it meant something.

'But I'm not here to write about my dreams. I saw a youngling today that could be the greatest Jedi who has ever lived. His potential shows in the way he moves and speaks, and in the intensity of his gaze. He isn't angry, or doesn't seem to be, just confident. He wouldn't need much direction; he already seems to know what he wants. There were masters looking at him, and I can see one of them will take him. Ryn-yn would be a good teacher for this young one. Kit Fisto, in all his passion and study of Form I, would be better.

'And yet, I don't want to leave this boy's training to them. His name is Xanatos, which means "my life, my destiny", and he calls to me as no youngling ever has. To help him shape his future would be like shaking the Force by the hand.'

The next several entries talked about Qui-Gon taking Xanatos as his padawan, but the fifth of these touched on something Anakin hadn't known: Xanatos's parentage.

Xanatos Xil was son of the king of Telos. The boy's mother had died when Xanatos was five, a month before he was sent to Temple.

'Delivered was more like it,' Qui-Gon had written. 'Master Dooku told me how Xanatos's father brought him to the front steps of the Temple, and when a Jedi appeared, the bastard father said, "He's your problem now" and left.

'If being dumped like that ever bothered Xanatos, he long ago dealt with it. I tried once to talk to him about my own arrival at Temple, but he said, "We're Jedi now; we're supposed to forget our family. That's what I did." I didn't try again. One thing I learned very early about Xanatos: once he has made up his mind about something- and he usually doesn't make up his mind until after he's done long hours of research- there's no point trying to change his opinion.'

Many entries later, Qui-Gon mentioned the red-haired boy-child by name. 'A very young boy was left at Temple much like Xanatos. And we- Xanatos and I- were the ones to find him. He was half-naked, bleeding from something that looked suspiciously like a whip-mark, and he flinched when I offered him a hand to help him stand.

'Xanatos said, "Get over it, kid. Your parents were assholes. You're here now."

'Before I could think of what to say to him, Master Yoda joined us on the steps and asked us to go so he could talk to the child. I wasn't sure how much he'd learn from a child barely three years old, but he must have learned a great deal because when I talked to him, he gave me the boy's name: Obi-Wan Kenobi. Then Yoda asked me if this was the boy I had dreamed of, and I said it was. I've dreamed about Obi-Wan many more times than have appeared in this book.

'But Xanatos's words still bother me. I need to speak to him. Compassion he does not have, and I wish I could convey the compassion and understanding to my padawan that I can convey to all those that we meet.'

Anakin thought, _Some things never change._

In the next entry, Qui-Gon wrote that he hadn't been able to reach Xanatos. They had talked, and Xanatos had seemed to listen, but QuiGon knew he hadn't reached his padawan at all.

Twenty entries later, Anakin read of Xanatos's betrayal, how he joined his father. 'I don't understand,' Qui-Gon wrote. 'He never showed any lingering love for his father, or for anyone. Why does he want to help him now?' And, a few lines down, 'Xanatos told me I would regret pushing him away. As if I did anything besides try to keep him wih the Jedi.

'Or maybe I filled his mind with too many lone-wolf thoughts. If I'm guilty at all, that's how it has occurred.'

Anakin found Qui-Gon's last entry only two pages later, after reading, almost wearily, through self-doubts that multiplied like a well-nourished virus.

'She's dead, fierce Ahleh. And it was my padawan that killed her. I know if this wasn't Temple, I'd be expected to take her 'child', her padawan, under my wing. But I can't even think of taking Kenobi and guiding him. There's no way I'll ever lead another padawan down my confused path. Why did I ever think I could lead a child to greatness? Ryn-yn or Kit would have been better.'

Anakin finished the journal in the middle of Obi-Wan's sixth month of 'sleep'. Before he began to read the mysteries of the book-in-balance, he went to visit his lover. He hadn't done this often, both because he'd felt that there was nothing he could do but worry, and because Yoda himself had ordered all Jedi, including Anakin, to keep their distance. "Disturbed he must not be. And if sense many he does, return prematurely he may. If occurs that does, he will not gain what he needs. Worse: suffer from sudden separation from his dreams he might."

Anakin hadn't asked if that meant Obi-Wan would come back insane, and Yoda hadn't elaborated. The Knight preferred to believe that Yoda was only talking about physical injuries, but for half a year, he didn't dare chance it.

And yet, knowing a little more of Xanatos now, and a great deal more about Qui-on, he had to tell Obi-Wan what he knew, even though surely Obi-Wan wouldn't hear him, and even with the risk involved. It was like paying one debt before starting another: he had to clear his mind of this, and he'd always been able to clear his mind completely only with Obi-Wan.

He approached his papa's quarters. They were truly only Yoda's now, since Mace had taken up residence with Annie. He touched the chimes and waited.

The door opened a moment later, though by the Force only. Anakin stepped in and watched Yoda lower his hand.

The doors closed behind the Knight, and he moved towards the couch. "How is he?" He sat on the low stool by the head of the couch and took Obi-Wan's hand. The skin was dry, not too hot, different than Anakin had expected in someone intravenous drips were keeping alive. "No nightmares?"

"I know not." Yoda approached, leaning on his stick as always. "Touch him you should not. Wake him you might."

Anakin hesitated, then released Obi-Wan's hand. "He's-"

Obi-Wan stirred, reaching out as if to reclaim the contact.

Anakin moved to respond, but Yoda struck the back of the younger Jedi's hand with his stick. "Touch him you must not." He used his stick to point towards the other side of the room. "Over there we can talk. Too close this is."

"But I need to tell him something."

"Hear from any of us he should not."

Obi-Wan's hand moved again and Yoda waved his hand.

Anakin felt a blanket of Force close over Obi-Wan, much like the shield the Jedi had used to protect him when he had been injured. "I'm not going to bother him, just-"

Obi-Wan reached again, and now he murmured in his sleep, something about "Anakin" and "dark". He grunted softly and slept on.

Yoda moved his hand again and Anakin found himself picked up and deposited on the opposite side of the room, not violently, but moved nonetheless. As the Knight fought down an urge to be angry that he'd just been lifted like a piece of luggage, Yoda said, "Disturbed he must not be. Whatever tell him you wish to, tell me, or write it down. When he wakes, he will read it."

"But, Master-" He stopped. Arguing with Yoda wouldn't accomplish anything, and if talking to Obi-Wan was truly going to cause problems…

_But I need to talk to him. _He looked at Obi-Wan. It felt unnatural that Obi-Wan had slept for so long and yet he still looked healthy. _I've finally forgiven Qui-Gon for everything he did to you, because I understand him now._ That was it; he needed Obi-Wan to know he'd grown.

_Do I need that, or is it just something I want?_ To be a Jedi was to give up every comfort, even small pleasures like talking to the man he loved. Gazing at Obi-Wan, Anakin knew they'd lost something, and more than just time. His need for Obi-Wan's approval was greater than his need for Obi-Wan's actual voice or smile.

_I've fallen out of love with him?_ What else could explain why he had felt less and less loss as the months passed? At first, he hadn't slept well at night; he'd longed for Obi-Wan so desperately it had manifested itself as a physical ache. But then he'd started to sleep, and though at first he dreamed of Obi-Wan only, more and more he was dreaming of the Jedi, Padme, and the children. _Our children- hers and mine._

Maybe here was more evidence that the Jedi should not love, if they could fall out of love.

Anakin stood and made for the door. "I won't disturb him."

"He will return to us," Yoda said.

_Not soon enough. He left without telling me and I don't know when he's coming back. He and I have already lost each other a little, and if we can lose love so fast, maybe we weren't meant to love at all._

He left his papa's quarters, but it was of 'the day of confession' that he thought about. How Obi-Wan had forcibly kissed him, then backed off, revealing his heart for the first tiem since Anakin knew him, with no deceptions, inside or out, That was the return he wanted.

_Want and can't have._

_Anakin, all faith rests in the Force. Have faith in me, in yourself, in us. If we were never meant to be, I couldn't love you like I love my breath, be nearly as devoted to you as to the Force. If everything passed away but you and the Force, I would count myself lucky. If my ability to sense the Force disappeared, our love would keep me sane._

Anakin had stopped, resting one hand against the wall as he listened. _But, Obi, I don't-_

But Obi-Wan was gone.

_If he was really there. Maybe that was just my imagination. _Groaning, Anakin pushed off from the wall and kept going. He sealed his mind against the Force, needing, as he thought of it, to be alone. He tried to school his thoughts so they wouldn't play tricks on him.

_That wasn't Obi. How could it be? If we were meant to speak, it would have happened long before this, or he would have at least reached out to me while I was right next to him. What I heard was my tired mind and nothing more._ He sighed, thinking that the Jedi also gave up a lot of comforting thoughts in the name of Truth.

oOo

_Damn it, Anakin, listen to me! I'm trying to-_

His lover's mind closed and Obi-Wan cursed more crudely. But he didn't waste his energy. The drug was already taking him away again, and if he was to do anything with the knowledge he'd been given, he had to act now. _Yoda,_ he sent. _Anakin is headed for the Dark Side. Bring him back._

A little loss of faith wasn't enough to convince him of Anakin's changing feelings, but Obi-Wan didn't need any half-tangible proof; he felt the danger of Anakin's turning in the symbiotic life that pulsed within his cells.

Groundless his words would seem, but if Yoda heard them, surely he would listen. Obi-Wan tried to repeat his warning, but the drug took him again and he didn't know anything for another four weeks.

In that month, a lot happened.


	50. Five Years Before the Abduction

**Author's Note:** Assuming I have any readers left, patient souls, here's the chapter before the beginning of _Revenge of the Sith_. I blame busy schedules, several 102 degree fevers and strep throat for this delay. Man, I can't wait until I'm a second-year teacher and stop catching everything my students cough.

Five Years (Before the Abduction)

Night was the best time at Temple, Woda decided. All the Jedi were bedding down, except the guards who now stood here and there. The all-night watchers were new, but the war made them necessary. Still, even with the guards, the Temple seemed at rest. No one was running, few talked, and all the lights were dimmed. In the stillness, if you listened with both your ears and the Force, you could hear the fountains in the room he'd named 'waterland' when his papa first brought him there.

Strictly speaking, he wasn't supposed to be out in the halls, but his papa had given him over to those that watched the younglings, and Woda had long ago learned how to sneak out. And, so far, he hadn't been caught.

Creeping from shadow to shadow, he made his way towards his favorite place: the one high window on the west side of Temple from which he could see not only the whizzing traffic of Coruscant, but the 'front porch' of the Temple and the main launching platform for space-faring vessels. He'd often wondered why a guard wasn't posted just there to watch, but surely the Council knew what it was doing.

Just before he rounded the last corner before his favorite perch, he heard voices in the next corridor. Slpiing ot the very end of the hall, he peeked. A Jedi stood near his window and another sat on the very ledge he'd come to think of as his own. _Coveting possessions a way to the Dark Side is,_ his Yoda had said often enough, and so Woda squelched the prickle of jealousy.

Now, what to do? Should he approach and find out what was going on, should he hide here and listen, or should he beat a discreet retreat before he was found out? The last was probably the safest, but if Woda had learned anything from listening to Anakin's stories, it was that the overly-cautious Jedi didn't always bring back the prize. So he tried to make himself small as a speck- almost easy because he was scarcely a foot tall- and listened hard. He wished for Anakin's knowledge of all Jedi; Anakin could name anyone at Temple, except some of the younglings, and those he'd learned to identify in just a few short weeks with his younger brother. Well, he would listen, and maybe things would be explained.

"If they're all saying the same thing, what chance do we have?" The younger man, the one sitting on the windowsill, kicked his feet against the stone.

The older man reached up and stilled the moving feet. "Shh. We're here to listen and watch, not just to talk."

"Gareth, there are twenty Jedi surrounding this place. One more vantage point isn't going to make that much difference."

"You're only saying that because you want to talk and guard duty doesn't involve that. Don't forget, Ar', that you were the one who suggested this place. You remembered this place from your youngling days and suggested it to Yoda. You even volunteered to take shifts here."

Woda felt an instant of disappointment that his secret place wasn't secret, but let it go as the younger man said, "Fine, it's not the vantage point. It's your dreams. It's my dreams. It's Master Kenobi lying on a couch for months without any words spoken or nourishment taken. It's the Darkness rising all around us and knowing that we're going to die. Can I help it I want to escape?"

"No, but you can help giving into it."

"I haven't left, have I?" His voice rose. "I'm not leaving. I'm not like Chen or any of the other Knights who have just disappeared, without a word about their deaths, not a ripple in the Force, or a message to the Council." He jumped down, and Woda saw that the two men were near in height. "Do you think I'd ever leave you?"

"No, and that's what bothers me. We've taken a step few Jedi have taken before and now that there's a chance- a great likelihood- that one or both of us is going to die alone, we're afraid."

"You don't sound afraid."

"Huh. But you know me better." Gareth wrapped the younger man in a tight embrace. "You should have heard me talking to Master Yoda when the dreams first started coming, and you would have heard my fear." He stepped back, holding the man's shoulders. "We have two choices: try to save ourselves, or stay true to the Force. There's no middle ground."

"I know." He sighed. "But I'm still afraid. I give all my feelings over to the Force every time I get a chance, which is almost all the time, except when we're fighting, but the fear will be with me until I die."

"If it wasn't, we wouldn't be alive. Death's something to pass into with composure if possible, but inding that composure is easier for some than others. It will be hard, damn near impossible, when Obi-Wan or Anakin dies, to leave the other behind."

"But you're saying it can be done." He moved back into the other's arms. "I can't do this much longer. If we're going to die apart, I almost wish we could get it over with."

'I know, but think of the minutes we steal here and there, between saving lives and preserving societies, to be alone and simply enjoy each other's company." He trailed one finger down the younger man's jaw. "To be with Arnen one more minute Force, and one more minuste still, is all I want.

Arnen smiled. "You're an incurable romantic."

"I've been accused to worse things. Now, if there's supposed to be a watch here, I suggest you keep it. I've already given over my four hours. And while I'd love nothing more than to stand here and sense you beside me while we watch the night, I have the logistics of our next mission to plan. And since we are leaving in the morning…" He drifted away from Arnen and towards Woda, who crouched down even smaller and wished fervently that he could find a place to hide.

Someone scooped him up from behind, covering the youngling's mouth with a large hand. The man, Woda assumed his kidnapper was a man, ran light-footed around the next corner and ducked into a room.

"Sh," whispered Anakin in the youngling's ear. "It's me."

They listened to Gareth walk past.

When he was gone, Anakin set Woda down and squatted before him, bringing their faces closer to level. "What are you doing out here?"

"Listening." Woda squared his tiny shoulders but kept his nasal voice low, aware by now how much it could carry if he wasn't mindful. "Are you on guard duty?"

"Not tonight. I've been… reading." Anakin settled himself in a lotus position. "Your teachers don't know where you are."

Woda shrugged. "Trouble before they have not been." He grinned at his imitation of Yoda, then snickered. "I'm getting good at that, but I don't think I'll always do it like he does. How'd he keep that way of talking when everyone else here talks differently?"

"I think he had a long time among his own people before he joined the Jedi." Anakin shifted. "Look, Woda, I've got to go somewhere. The Force is calling me. And I need you to keep your moth shut about seeing me. I'm supposed to be resting because I'll be going off tomorrow. But I had a lot to read, and now this message from the Force…" He shrugged. "I'll find time to sleep later."

"You don't sleep much as it is," Woda said.

"Yeah, well, that's between me and the Force. Because no one else knows my weird sleeping patterns."

"I bet Obi-Wan does."

"But he's not here. Not mentally, like he should be." Anakin sighed. "Keep your lips shut about that, too. Jedi aren't supposed to speak ill of each other. If we do that, we're doing the work of the Dark Force."

Woda just looked at him.

"And I didn't mean it anyway. I love Obi-Wan. It's just that he's always gone at the worst times. If he hadn't shown up when he did on Naboo- just in time; he could have missed it if he hadn't been just in time- Qui-Gon would have died that day. He went away when I needed a master. He disappeared when I needed someone to protect me when Adee… Never mind. And he's gone now that we only have a short time to love each other before the Jedi are torn apart."

"You're angry at him." Woda frowned. "Why? The Jedi aren't supposed to dwell on anger." He blushed a paler blue. "Like I've been angry with that girl for taking so much of Daddy Mace's time when the Jedi need him more than she does. Forgive me, Force."

Anakin gaped at the Yoda-ling. "I'm not angry."

"Heh. Could've fooled me. You called him Obi-Wan. You never call him Obi-Wan."

Anakin laughed a little uncomfortably. "Woda, that's his name."

"Not to you." He spoke slowly as if he was the knight and Anakin the youngling. "You call him Obi." He plopped down on his brother's lap. "Unless you're angry."

A sigh was his answer.

Then he was dumped on the floor as Anakin stood.

"I have to go. Keep your mouth shut, all right? I'll be back by sunrise and I'll see you again before I leave."

Woda scowled. "Is it dangerous?"

"No. I'll be back soon." He started away, his long legs carrying him fast.

He'd be out of sight in a moment. "Don't lie to the Force, Anakin! It always knows!"

Anakin froze an instant, then kept going. "Good night, Woda. Go back to your room and stay there."

"No," Woda muttered. When he was sure Anakin was gone, he started for his Yoda's quarters. Bouncing down the hall- until the age of four or five, Yoda-lings traveled better by bouncing on their backsides than by walking- he rounded the same corner he'd crouched behind only a minute ago, and ran directly into Arnen, who caught him in both arms and lifted him high in the air.

Used to such treatment, Woda didn't protest the movement but said, "Tell the guards to be extra-careful. Something's wrong. I'm going to tell my Yoda."

"Little one, I don't sense-" He stopped. "Yes, I do. What's coming?" He said it more to himself than to Woda. Setting the youngling down, he said, "Go. And I'll send a message to those below."

Woda started away.

"Be careful, youngling."

"I will. Force with you." It just took too long to say the whole thing, and three words got the message across just as well.

Apparently, Arnen agreed. "And with you."

Woda bounced all the way to his Yoda's quarters, then used the Force to push the chimes.

Yoda appeared only a moment later, his eyes dark with concern. "Woda. Sensed it you did. Stay here you must, and tend this I will."

Woda scowled again. "It's Anakin. He's going to do something against the Force."

"Perhaps not as serious as that it is. In any case, stand guard over Obi-Wan you must until reinforcements I send." Yoda turned and called a lightsaber from the wall across from the couch. He floated the weapon into Woda's hand, which had come up automatically. "Use it only if you must." Yoda gathered the Force around him and leapt from the room, sailing halfway down the corridor before touching floor again. Then he was off once more.

Woda went to the couch and sat on a footstool. "I wish you'd wake up, Master Obi-Wan. Everyone needs you, but Anakin needs you most."

On Obi-Wan slept.

Woda spent a few terrified minutes listening for anyone's approach. But when he finally heard someone coming, he also felt the Light Force around them and he relaxed. He kept his hand on the hilt of the borrowed lightsaber, but didn't hesitate to bounce to the door and open it in welcome.

Arnen stood there, but he wasn't alone. His face glowed with the reflected light of a lightsaber blade, and when Woda saw the girl who held the blade, he fell back into the room and made to leap for the door-close button.

Annie Sith-mind said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you," and she moved the blade a fraction of an inch closer. "You haven't seen death yet, and even though this isn't the most painful way to die, I'm sure you don't want to see it."

_We were wrong, _Woda thought, filled with the Force. Then: _No, I was wrong. It's not Anakin I sensed, but Annie, the girl who doesn't love anyone, the girl who takes and takes without-_ His heart seized. "Where Daddy Mace?"

"Chasing after your troubled brother. He thought I was asleep. He left me with that stupid girl Nela."

Woda's vision blurred with tears. Nela had taken care of him many times. "Did you-?"

Annie smiled. "There wasn't time. I only pushed her against the wall. She'll come to soon, but not soon enough to save you. Now, step aside."

Woda hesitated, not because he didn't think she'd kill- the Force told him she would- but because he couldn't see how she would hold onto Arnen when he stepped back. Or maybe she would just float, like well-trained Jedi could, trained to sustain a jump at its height for a little time. When he looked in Arnen's eyes, he expected to see fear, but he saw almost savage determination. Arnen didn't ant him to move.

But Annie was right; he'd never seen death. And he was in no hurry to see it for the first time. He stepped back.

She waved her hand, lifting Obi-Wan from the couch and carrying him to the door. She laid him, with all seeming gentleness, before her. "Good-bye," she said without a smile or any expression on her face. "You didn't want me, and I don't want you." She moved the blade from Arnen's throat.

A wave of Force swept down the hallway, shoving Woda back off his feet. He fell with a startled cry, but had the presence of mind, as soon as he realized that she wasn't hovering right over Obi-Wan, to use the Force and haul the unconscious master back into Yoda's quarters. Then the youngling did something which would have reminded Obi-Wan or Yoda of Anakin: he leapt out into the hallway.

Annie had been thrown several meters, but she now stood with her hands out, as if she would hold back all comers with the power that lived inside her. Arnen stood a little distance from where he'd been made to kneel, and Gareth faced her. The master's lightsaber was as yet un-drawn.

Arnen broke the tableaux, tugging his comlink from its place on his belt. "To any Jedi: Annie Jinn-Kenobi is armed and dangerous. She's by Yoda's quarters."

Gareth held up his hands. "Annie, let us help you. It's much harder to come back from the Dark Force than to go into it."

She took a step back. "You can't protect him forever." Her eyes went to Arnen. "I could have killed you. Don't Forget that. I could have killed you."

"But you didn't," Gareth said. "Some part of you wants to stop this before it goes too far. Let us help you. Please."

Arnen's communicator crackled. "This is Mace. Keep her there if you can. I'm on my way."

"You're not taking me back!" she screamed. She brought her curled hands down fast as if she was ripping shreds from the air, and a rumbling started overhead.

"Back!" Gareth ordered, and his own hands came up, palms towards the ceiling.

Arnen lifted Woda with the Force and deposited him halfway up the corridor.

Annie screamed again, stamped her foot and made the tearing gesture again. A crack ran along the ceiling and chunks the size of her fists began to fall.

Arnen joined Gareth, adding his command of the Force to the master's.

Annie ran.

Woda crept a step or two closer. "Is it going to fall?"

"We can't hold it up forever," Gareth said. "Better stay back."

oOo

"It was nothing I ever thought a youngling could do. When Qui-Gon used to boast about how Anakin could fly a podracer, I had my doubts, but I never would have believed this if I hadn't seen it." Gareth stood with Mace, watching masons repair the ceiling. In the end, half a dozen small pieces had fallen, along with one large square of solid stone. The rest had held until other Jedi came to help. "She commanded the Force like a master."

"Not quite," Mace said. "She couldn't fight you."

"She caught Arnen and kept a lightsaber at his throat."

Arnen blushed. "That was partially my fault. When she approached, I didn't think of her as a threat. I crouched down to talk to her, thinking she had felt the disturbance in te Force and was afraid."

Gareth said, "She still managed to coerce you to Yoda's quarters, get you to your knees, and put a lightsaber at your throat." He breathed out his fear, aware that repeating words was a show of how afraid he'd been when he'd felt Arnen's nearness to death.

Arnen nodded, looking down at his boots. "When I crouched down, she used the Force to close my windpipe. She said I had to do what she wanted or she would kill me. I couldn't break her hold. I could barely sense her. It was like she stood at the center of a dark cloud. I couldn't touch her in the Force."

"Like a Sith," Gareth muttered.

"The Sith can be touched. At least Maul could be," Mace said. "Not being able to touch her is more like coming up against one of the Fabled Ones- those Jedi or Dark Force users who were so deep in Light or Darkness that they almost ceased to be." A pause. "Like Adee was."

Gareth shook his head. "But Adee wasn't a fantastic Jedi. Where did he learn a trick like that? If he learned it from the Sith, you have to wonder why they don't use it."

"Zee might know," Mace answered, "but I won't ask him just now." He frowned deeply. "Adee was a talented Jedi; he wouldn't have been a member of the Council otherwise." He turned from the younger Jedi. "You'll stay here, please. Arnen, back to your post."

Arnen bowed "Yes, Master."

"She might return to finish Obi-Wan. Keep that in mind." He was speaking to both of them and they knew it.

They watched him sweep down the hallway then, after a shared glance, they parted.

Gareth touched the control at the entrance to Yoda's quarters and found Woda still standing guard over Obi-Wan. The youngling had a lightsaber in his hand, but it wasn't activated. "Where did you get that?" the master asked, aware that it was a true lightsaber, not a toy.

"My Yoda told me to hold onto it until he comes back. He went after Anakin."

"What's wrong with Anakin?"

"I don't know." Woda tried to put the lightsaber on his belt, but it was too large. He laid it between his feet, then said, "We shouldn't be talking too close to him. My Yoda says he could wake up at the wrong time."

Gareth wondered where the youngling's awe of older Jedi had gone. Maybe having Yoda as a parent helped him see everyone as just Jedi instead of as this or that rank. The master couldn't decide if this was better than rank playing a role in how Jedi spoke to each other. But whatever his feelings on the subject, there was much else to concern him. "I'll stand guard in the hall."

Woda nodded. Glancing down at the lightsaber, then back up, he said, "I don't want to use it. I'm not ready."

Gareth said, "Knowing that is the first step to being ready." His gaze went ot Obi-Wan. _If you can hear any of this, or feel the disturbance in the Force, you need to come back. If what I feel is really connected to Anakin, he needs you. _He left Yoda's quarters and took up his post.

oOo

Anakin leapt over a railing and dropped two stories. He could have taken the elevator, but he needed to clear his head, and, besides, there wasn't time. What he'd sensed might get away if he wasn't quick.

It was raining, and there were accidents everywhere as drivers in too big a hurry collided with each other or buildings. Anakin used his connection to the Force so that he could see through the torrential downpour as if it wasn't there. He caught the railing five meters down and flipped onto the moving walkway. He leapt over the heads of startled shoppers and used the Force to nudge others aside. None of these fell, but only because of their own senses of balance. He didn't stop to make sure they were all right. His hand was already on his lightsaber, though he didn't take it out just yet. If the Force was with him, his target wouldn't sense him coming until it was too late. But a small voice in the back of his mind told him he had to make his own luck tonight.

The metaphysical world hummed with the flow of a poisonous current, one Anakin remembered from the time when Obi-Wan was halfway across the galaxy. "Xanatos," the young Jedi whispered, and his blood boiled. "You're mine. You're dead already. Take a few more breaths. They're borrowed."

This he said quietly. Surely no one heard him. Still, as his rage mounted, anyone with half a brain got out of his way. He didn't enjoy this, but he sensed that if he wasn't so consumed by anger, he could have done just that, and without any guilt or second-guessing.

There were other powerful ones with his target, but he didn't fear them. One of them might even be the Master Sith; he didn't care. It was time to kill something. When he killed it, it would stay dead. Obi-Wan would be safe, but that was secondary to the fact that Anakin would have proved himself the most powerful being on Coruscant, possibly in the Republic itself.

That voice in the back of his mind, speaking from a place that had, for almost ten years, been sealed, told him that when Xanatos was dead, no one could stand between Anakin and what he truly wanted.

And what did he want? _Clarity_ jumped to the front of his mind. He wanted to know everything before it happened, and if things weren't as they should be, he wanted the power to change them. Obi-Wan shouldn't be unconscious. He would fix that. The younglings needed to be protected; he could do that, and not just with a shield that he had to monitor when he was at Temple. He would go out and find those who had the audacity to threaten children. He would kill anyone who tried to hurt children.

Except Annie. She could die. That would be just fine.

He leapt, hurtling himself through the space between two slow-moving barges and spotted his target.

He knew the two with Xanatos, knew them in an instant. Damnable Qui-Gon, looking, as always, completely at home, even while conversing with a Dark Force user, possibly a Sith. And he was talking to at least one Sith, because Dooku was there, too. Anakin wondered if Xanatos was the apprentice and Dooku the master, then had to laugh. Dooku, a master of the Sith? Impossible.

So, one was a Sith and one was not, and Anakin didn't care which was which. Both were about to die. And when Qui-Gon got in the way, as he invariably would, Anakin would give him a token warning, then kill him, too. He should stay away from the Dark Side. Obi-Wan had almost killed himself a hundred times to try and protect Qui-Gon.

That wasn't true, but truth wasn't a top priority.

"And you never loved him. You abused him emotionally, never caring about him like I do."

The trio was standing under a small awning that hung over the door to a darkened restaurant. What place of business would be closed at this time of night, when many of the traveling politicians were just coming out?

"Who cares? No one's here to get in my way."

Qui-Gon looked up, and their gazes locked. Anakin read the surprise in the master's face, then he stopped reading expressions. His eyes narrowed and he ignited his lightsaber. His lips drew back from his teeth and he angled for Xanatos, who stood just to Qui-Gon's left, his mouth slack as if he'd been hit by a stun dart.

"You tried to break him, but that's over. He's with me now and you're going to-"

"Anakin-" Qui-Gon stepped between them, his hands up.

Anakin hit an impenetrable Force-wall and bounced off. He shook himself like a dog and sneered. "Force against Force, you're not going to win. I'm stronger, faster, better."

"And arrogant," Qui-Gon said. "What lessons did you pick up from Obi-Wan?"

"Don't blame him! He taught me just fine! It always has to be his fault, doesn't it? Always has to be his fault!" Anakin leapt again, slammed against the wall and stumbled back. "Screw you, Qui-Gon! He's a better master than you could ever be! He's a better Jedi, too! The Council is talking about making him a master and as soon as he wakes up-"

"Listen to yourself," Jinn said in that reasonable voice he'd used with Watto, with Obi-Wan, with probably everyone except Yoda, and maybe he'd even tried that until Yoda told him to stop shooting the shit and get back to business. "And listen to what I said. Obi-Wan taught you how to control yourself, how to feel the Force all the time, an you're spitting on his lessons." Then, casually, "You should leave." He was talking to the men on his side of the Force-wall. "We were called here to talk to Xanatos, but we've done that as much as we can now."

"Knowing what he's made of, I won't let you face him alone, Padawan."

Anakin gaped at Dooku, even though he'd known Qui-Gon was Dooku's apprentice once. It was hearing Dooku call Jinn padawan, as if Dooku was still a master, still a Jedi, that shocked him.

_And as if Qui-Gon is still a Jedi, too. He isn't; he's been gone too long to keep his title._ He put away his lightsaber and raised his hand. "You'd better go if you're going," he told Dooku. To Xanatos, he said, "Stay. We have some unfinished business."

"Gladly." Xanatos laughed. "You think you'll accomplish what Obi-Wan failed to do?"

"He never tried to kill you."

"Ah, so you're not a sainted Jedi bent on my rehabilitation?"

"If you could ever learn to shut your mouth, you would get further with people," Qui-Gon said, still sounding damnably serene. Then, to Anakin, "The Force called me here to talk to Xanatos, and Dooku is here to talk to Master Yoda. Why are you here? Whose will are you following: the Force's or your own?"

"They're the same will," Anakin said, and he leapt again, hitting the wall with everything he had.

It cracked; it splintered; it fell. Anakin flew through, going right for Xanatos, in his mind seeing every burn Obi-Wan had endured, every violation from his time with Xanatos, every weakness that the torture had brought ot the fore and exploited.

Qui-Gon could have leapt between them, but Anakin threw him against a wall and kept going at Xanatos.

Dooku could have moved, but he was driven by long-learned discretion and self-preservation, and so ducked when Anakin hurled a ball of Force in his direction that was meant to knock him off his feet, if not completely take his head off.

Xanatos could have ducked, but Anakin had frozen his arms to his sides and his feet to the duracrete.

oOo

_Now,_ the Force whispered in Dooku's mind, and he knew why he had been called back to Coruscant this time. Last time, he'd been meant to stay behind, but he'd mistaken his own homesickness for the compulsion of the Force. This time, he'd mistaken the compulsion of the Force for him to be with Qui-Gon for an order to see Yoda.

But his mind was clear now. All he need do was obey.

_But I wanted to see Yoda. I wanted to see my maser and apologize!_

_Now,_ the Force answered, and what could he do? Obey or not. There was no halfway.

Dooku didn't draw his 'saber; there wasn't time. He simply leapt, putting up a wall of Force between himself and the rampaging monster that was Anakin Skywalker.

The wall deflected the killing edge of Anakin's rage, but couldn't dispel it. Dooku staggered back and fell, his chest collapsing as his breastbone cracked and his lungs seized.

oOo

Anakin stumbled, surprised to find someone in his way. For an instant, his rage was mixed with confusion.

That instant was enough for Xanatos; he took it and fled.

Anakin stared at the crushed body, and his gorge rose. "I didn't mean-" But then he heard the slap of retreating steps and his head snapped up. He took a step towards Xanatos.

Only to have Qui-Gon get in his way. The Jedi Master had his lightsaber drawn. "Don't force me to fight you, Anakin. One death is enough for today."

"You know you're going to die? Why bother fighting me, then?" Anakin's own weapon was in his hand. "If you want to keep defending Sith scum, there's nothing I can do to help you." And he leapt.

oOo

The Dark Force obscured everything. Though the Force was alive with Anakin's anger and confusion, it gave no direction. Yoda spent more time standing still and _reaching_ than bouncing. He was Yoda, and so frustration did not enter his thoughts or cloud his judgment. Still, by the time he at last felt something, it was a nearly too late, he knew. And it was not Anakin he felt, but Dooku opening his heart to the Light as well as the Dark, closing his eyes to all but the Will of the Force.

Yoda sent up a beacon into the Force, bright as a physical flare, and started in the direction of his former padawan.

oOo

In Yoda's quarters, Woda shrieked.

Gareth charged in, lightsaber drawn, heart pounding, eyes questing everywhere for the cause of the youngling's cry. His gaze stopped on the couch. Obi-Wan was awake.

More: he was sitting up, pulling the needles out of his arms and wrists like a man brushing off bugs that were distracting him while he worked. The younger master's eyes shone with a fire that was both still and raging-hot. Gareth read urgency in the heat and utter obedience to the Force in the stillness.

With the last of the needles out, Obi-Wan held out his hand to Woda. "I believe that is mine."

Woda held it up and Obi-Wan tucked it into his belt. Then he started for the door. "Everything will be explained soon," he said before leaving, "and hopefully it will be a tale with a happy ending." Then he was gone.

Gareth's gaze felt nailed to the closing door.

Woda said, "_Finally!_ Geez, Force, no offense, but couldn't you have woken him up a day earlier?"

oOo

Obi-Wan went over the same railing Anakin had jumped, but further along the high-rise walkway. He could feel Yoda's flare flaming his blood, and as he ran he felt the presence of twenty other Jedi all converging on the same spot. Good. He could use the backup. So could Anakin, though apparently his lover didn't know it yet.

Landing, Obi-Wan avoided many of the pedestrians by Force-leaping over them. And because many of them saw him coming, and some saw the look in his eyes- calm fire- they got out of his way. Many of these same people had seen Anakin pass by minutes before and had only been just recovering from their shock. To see a second Jedi fly past set them talking again, though they did so as they hurried on, wondering if even more were coming. With the war on, many thought of the danger that must have called two Jedi out, and they wanted to get themselves away, despite their innate curiosity. In a time of war, curiosity was much more likely to kill you.

The master spotted Yoda and shouted through the Force, "The Dark Force is in his mind!" He was sure Yoda heard.

Then Obi-Wan saw Anakin and Qui-Gon exchanging blows. He also saw Dooku, and hoped Yoda would go to his former padawan while there was still time to bring peace to the man's troubled mind. Not bothering to draw his own blade, Obi-Wan stopped half a dozen meters from Anakin and Qui-Gon, closed his eyes, saw the Force as arms he could guide, and yanked Anakin backwards off his feet.

Opening his eyes, he was in time to see Anakin hit the ground, then struggle up at once. Obi-Wan held Anakin fast, but almost at once the younger Jedi began to struggle forward, tugging Obi-Wan with him as he strained towards his intended victim again.

"Get out of here!" Obi-Wan shouted. "_Now!_" And, because he could read the look in Qui-Gon's eyes, even from such a distance, he added, "He won't hurt me! Just go!"

"Obi mine," Qui-Gon whispered, his words carried by the Force. Then he turned, somersaulted over a railing, landed on a passing speeder, and was gone.

Obi-Wan didn't let Anakin go. The younger man dragged him towards the place where Qui-Gon had disappeared. If Anakin didn't come to his senses, he would pull Obi-Wan right into empty space. The master didn't let go, though his power wasn't as strong as Anakin's fury-driven intensity. That wasn't to say the younger man couldn't be surprised or saved, but Obi-Wan had no tricks to pull just then.

oOo

Yoda knelt by Dooku, half his mind on Obi-Wan and Anakin. Then he saw that his former padawan was almost gone, and he gave Obi-Wan's and Anakin's fate over to the Force so he could catch Dooku's hand in his. "At peace you should be now for in the Light you are. In harmony with the Force are you."

Dooku couldn't speak, but his eyes showed that he understood.

Yoda said, "Saved Xanatos you did, and Anakin as well. He will have a chance to come to his senses. Thank you. For returning I thank you. All forgiven is. Nothing to forgive there is."

The Force lent Dooku a final breath. "I die in the Force."

"Yes," Yoda answered.

Dooku closed his eyes, squeezed Yoda's hand, and was gone.

Only when he was still did Yoda look to where Anakin stood on the edge of the walkway. His face was shadowed and Yoda knew that now was not the time to intervene. Let Obi-Wan work whatever miracle he had been called to work.

oOo

"Are you done?" Obi-Wan asked when Anakin turned to face him.

The look on Anakin's face could have been framed and placed beside the word "shock" in a youngling's dictionary. "What are you doing here?"

"Keeping you from killing anyone else."

"I didn't…" He looked past Obi-Wan, saw Dooku and Yoda, and he paled. "I didn't mean to kill him. He was defending Xanatos, and I wanted…"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Force, Anakin, _listen to yourself_."

There was a slight Force-command in his voice, but Anakin was reached because of the look in Obi-Wan's eyes, not by the Force. He'd blocked that effectively except for the bit he'd chosen to use. "How can you be here?"

"You know the answer to that. How can you kill?"

Anakin winced. "You know the answer to that."

"I do, but do you?"

Anakin's anger returned. "I'm not your padawan anymore. I'm your lover, your equal. You don't need to lecture me."

"I don't know if you're my lover when you serve the Dark Force this way. My first loyalty is to the Force, Anakin, not to you." Obi-Wan's hands disappeared into the billowing sleeves of his robe. "You have two ways to go: away from the Darkness, or towards it. Every Jedi makes that choice every day. Make one more choice, Anakin. Undo the distance you've made between us."

"You're not going to reach and bring me back?"

"I am." Obi-Wan dropped his arms and took a step closer. "Maybe not in the most politic way, but I am." His eyes darkened, and in their depths could be read all the pain he'd been hiding behind his polite-mask. "Anakin, come back. I love you." He swallowed, showing how hard it would for him to rein his emotions in now. "Come back."

Anakin looked away. "I wanted to end any danger to you. Xanatos was here. You didn't see him, but he was here. Qui-Gon was helping him. And Dooku was helping him. I didn't want him to touch you."

"While you were here, not following the calling of the Force, Annie almost killed Arnen, your brother Woda, and me." His harsh words were tempered by the sorrow and need in his eyes. "Anakin, please clear your mind and see the truth. Every moment can shift the balance. I'm afraid for you. And for me. Without you, I don't know if I'm going to survive. The Force will keep me alive, and maybe keep my head clear, but my heart's another story." He took a step, and reached out with his hands and his mind. "Anakin, beloved, don't turn against the Force. None of us would stand a chance if you did that."

The bond was open, and it sank deep into both their minds, past the block the drugs had caused on Obi-Wan's end and the hate that had clouded Anakin's true Force-connection.

"Yes," Obi-Wan whispered as he felt Anakin's anger and fear and regret. "I know. The Darkness lies so convincingly that not even Yoda can see the truth always." He caught Anakin's hands and bore down on them. "But you have to trust to everything you've learned at Temple because when you can't feel the will of the Force, all you have is the truth you've grown up to respect and understand."

Anakin said, "The drugs were a waste of time."

"We were deceived," Obi-Wan said. "The drugs weren't right for me then. I'm lucky the Force brought me out when It did."

"You left me again. You left without telling me."

"I was compelled. Not by Yoda; don't blame him. By something strong inside and outside myself. Mostly, I wanted to heal from all the nightmares. I'm so sick of them. Back on Rojo IV, right before I defeated Xanatos, when I couldn't remember how many ben-hunters I'd killed, I told the Force I had to get home, no matter if I was healed or not. But, back here, I wanted only to heal. I was so sick of being broken."

"You weren't"-

"Do you prefer the term 'dented' or 'rusted'? Those both describe my state better than broken, maybe. I wanted a whole skin again, and a whole soul and mind to go with it." Obi-Wan pushed his outer tunic off his shoulders and tugged aside the cloth of the light-colored tunic. The brand was still there. "You haven't said anything about this, even though I know you've seen it."

"I didn't know what to say." Anakin was sweating, and he armed some of it off his forehead.

"When I was fourteen, I read about this mark." Obi-Wan fingered it, then let the cloth cover it once more. "It can be removed with deep-tissue surgery, but only that way. I was afraid of being marked, either by physical means or metaphysical ones. But I've been marked all along, and it's time I got used to that fact." He slipped his outer robe back up into its proper place. "I am used to that fact. I had a choice: to wish for a whole new existence, or live as I have been made to live. I've been living that first choice. Now I'll live the second. Because Force knows if I keep looking for a way to protect myself or recover the childhood innocence I had for only awhile, I'll lose you. And if I lose you, Anakin, the Force will lose you. Not forever; I think your fight against the Darkness is pre-destined, if anything is. But long enough for many people to die and trillions of lies to be destroyed."

He drew back from Anakin. "It's not romantic, the truth, but you already know how much I love you. Come back, Anakin. Please come back."

Anakin sensed that he could promise he was back, and that an uneasy peace would settle between them. But as he was given a little breathing and wriggling room, he realized how far he'd walked out of the Light and he groaned. "Shit, Obi, I'm fucked. This is a thousand times worse than that time with the Tusken Raiders because I actually thought I was doing the right thing. I wasn't just following my anger, but _I thought I was doing the right thing._" He winced. "How could I fall so far?"

"The Force separated us so we could both be crushed. That's all I know."

"And how do we heal?"

"We run back to the Force as fast as our legs can carry us, and we stay there, and we acknowledge everything we've done wrong, and we live. There's no escape for us, and no healing place. We have to face our mistakes and move on."

Anakin looked past Obi-Wan at Dooku and whispered, "It sounds painful."

"It's going to be. But we can do it."

Anakin looked at his lover and saw nothing but ssurance n Obi-Wan's gaze. _Fuck you, Dark Force. I'm never coming back to you._ He moved to Yoda's side and knelt. "I'm sorry, Papa."

Yoda nodded. "In your right mind you are now. Sense that I can." He looked up, and two crystalline tears gleamed in his huge eyes. "Relieved I am that lost you also I did not. Hard enough to bear this death is. Two deaths-" his eyes flicked up to Obi-Wan, who stood a few paces away- "or even three too much to bear might have been."

"You would have had enough strength to heal," Anakin said. "You're Yoda."

"I do not know 'enough'." Yoda sighed and pushed himself to his feet. "Carry him will you?"

Anakin nodded.

Obi-Wan joined them, and together he and Anakin bore Dooku's body back to Temple for a proper Jedi funeral-pyre.


	51. Abduction

Five Years (Abduction)

Five Years (Abduction)

_A million things unsaid/and most of them better left that way._

Those lyrics chased themselves around in his head as he slept, finding their way into his dreams, and following him into the waking world. Obi-Wan wasn't sure at first where he'd heard them then he knew and it made a strange sort of symmetry. Ni had sung those lyrics as part of a love song's chorus that he'd tended to sing only around Obi-Wan.

_And I was so caught up in trying to figure out who was trying to kill him to notice that he was trying to woo me._

He was lying next to Anakin, his head pillowed on the younger man's chest, and again the lyrics occurred to him: _A million things unsaid/and most of them better left that way._ Their lives together had been nothing but things unsaid for the last two- _no, nearly three-_ months. Like when Anakin wouldn't talk about Adee, Obi-Wan brought up the painful things between them and the things that shouldn't have stood between them but did because of the men they were. And each time he brought them up, wanting to talk through them so they could get past them, Anakin closed himself off. Sometimes he got angry at Obi-Wan, but mostly he just got quiet. Obi-Wan preferred the anger, because at least then he might have a chance of tricking or cajoling or frustrating Anakin into a confession or a real discussion. He didn't have many weapons against the silence. Not even their bond, because that was the first thing to close whenever he tried to reach Anakin.

He reminded himself that Anakin was just repeating his mistakes, trying to face things alone, and he should be patient because Anakin was just growing up. If he could ride this out, their love would surely be stronger for it. But that was hard to remember when he thought of what Anakin had done, and what Anakin might have done if he, Obi-Wan, hadn't intervened.

_I'm also impatient with him because I can feel the Darkness coming even stronger and I'm afraid the Jedi are going to be overwhelmed before Anakin regains his senses. And if that happens, we might lose him to the Dark Side. _He groaned silently. _That happens, and most of us won't stand a chance against him. Myself included._

_Are you afraid of me?_

Obi-Wan wasn't startled; he left his end of the bond open all the time, and he was past hiding any thoughts from Anakin. Instead of feeling guilty or unprepared, he was only glad Anakin was talking to him. _A little, yes, but of what you could do, what you could become, not what you are now. I couldn't sleep next to a man I was afraid of._

Anakin's half of the bond was still partially shielded, hiding most of the emotions behind his words. It was like talking to him and not having physical cues to give clues to what he was feeling.

_I would never betray the Jedi._

_I wish I could believe that, Anakin, but when you attacked Dooku-_

A flash of anger. _You're never going to let that go, are you?_

Anyone walking in would have seen two lovers lying close with their eyes closed, their faces expressionless, and perhaps the two looked like they were still asleep. They had both learned how to wear masks.

_Not until you face it, no._

Anakin got up and Obi-Wan watched him head for the door. Sighing, the master sat up. "I love you still. Please know that."

Anakin stopped at the doorway, and when he turned, pain was written on his face. "I don't know how to fix what I did, all right? If I knew that, I could do something about it. But I've done more than danced too close to the Dark Side; I've walked in it, nice and slow and calm and sure of the rightness of what I was doing. Even though I know it wasn't right now, I don't know how to protect myself from a similar deadly mistake. Don't you think I'm scared?"

This was more than he'd said in three months, and Obi-Wan was out of bed in an instant. Anakin had started coming to bed partially dressed, saying that he was afraid they'd fall into making love and he'd get Obi-Wan pregnant before the older Jedi was ready. But Obi-Wan, knowing Anakin's sudden caution for the outgrowth of fear that it was, slept stark naked. He wanted Anakin to know that they could go back to the way they'd been, if they only tried.

Now he crossed to Anakin and wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. "I know you're scared. I don't blame you for that, and I understand it. Fear is a natural reaction. The Darkness has gotten way down and banishing it won't dispel it. You're going to do something more extreme. Can you stand a story for comparison's sake?"

Anakin nodded and his hands rested on Obi-Wan's waist.

"There were many times, most notably with Xanatos, that I felt pleasure. He didn't mean to make me hard, I don't think, and knowing that, I felt very guilty for taking any pleasure in what he was doing to me. I knew that if the Council found out about my feelings, I would be expelled from the Order.

"The Council served as my right-and-wrong balance for many years, much longer than perhaps they should, if I'd grown in the Force and in self-reliance the way I should have. At first, I depended on them for a sense of right and wrong even as a master, even though I already knew those things for myself.

"You rarely have to reach outside yourself because you've always had that internal balance. Well, now that internal balance isn't working. That happens to everyone, and if you look for an outer balance for awhile, and use that outer balance, your internal one will come back on line, for lack of a better phrase. It's terrifying, I'm sure, to have to rely on someone else. I had the reverse problem; I was afraid to rely on myself. But I did, and I needed to check with the Council less and less as I found that almost everything I felt within myself was just what the Council would have told me. You're like that: almost everything you feel is good and right and connected to the Force. The more you realize that, the more your confidence will come back."

"But it's my confidence that's the problem."

"And the more your confidence comes back, the more it will come back different: not prideful, but based in the Force, where you'll see the lies of the Dark Force for what they are, and be able to tell them to fuck off."

Anakin's eyes widened, but then he hugged Obi-Wan convulsively against him. "You're sure?" He inhaled the scent of Obi-Wan's hair. "You are, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"So are you volunteering to be my balance?"

"I am."

"And if we're separated?"

"That won't happen for awhile. It may still happen; Force alone knows the future. But not today, not tomorrow, and not as far as I can see." Obi-Wan ran his tongue along Anakin's jaw. "Let go of your doubts and let me hold you up. You'll learn how to breathe on your own much more quickly than you think, beautiful dolfain child, but until then, let me help you."

Anakin chuckled at the analogy even as Obi-Wan's show of support pushed at his heart and the feel of Obi-Wan's tongue against his stubbled cheek lit him up all over. "I'm such an idiot."

"No more than the man who loves you, and no more than hundreds of others who have lived in these rooms."

Anakin pushed Obi-Wan back a step and met his gaze. "You're never going to give up on me, are you?"

"Never," Obi-Wan agreed. "Just like you never-"

"I gave up on you; you just didn't see it."

"If you gave up on me, what were you doing in my bed? Some part of you didn't give up on the possibility that I would come around."

"I didn't stay near you when you took the drugs."

"So? You have to be close to me physically to be close metaphysically?"

"I was angry with you most of the time."

Obi-Wan said, "Balancer's first job: you didn't give up on me in your most secret heart. If you had, nothing I said would have kept you from chasing after Xanatos and Qui-Gon, and you might have even killed me. Can you believe that?"

"No gentle words, huh?" Anakin was only half-teasing.

"Like I said, the art of blunt speaking is knowing when to do it."

Anakin nodded. "This was the right time." He kissed Obi-Wan, a soft and tentative pressure that deepened when Obi-Wan opened his mouth. Anakin drew back after a moment. "We need protection."

"There's always some in the nightstand." Obi-Wan retreated to the bed and lay, spread-eagled there. "Come to me, beloved. Come in me."

Anakin laughed, but crossed the room. "Are all our quarrels and brief distances going to end like this?'

"That would be something sweet to look forward to, but if I have my say, all our days, or most of them, good or bad, will begin and end like this." Obi-Wan called out a condom and tube of cream from the drawer to his right. "Are you coming or not?"

oOo

Annie sat beside the small, draped window, knowing that Sidious would come soon and speak with her, face to face, in the same room, as they had never spoken before. She was more than a little frightened.

She'd been set up in a small, luxurious, hidden hotel. Still on Coruscant, but neither in 500 Republica or in the Orange District. The first place wasn't wise because surely the Jedi had contacts there, and if they didn't, Republic Security did. As for the Orange District, the Jedi had spies there for sure. So Annie had been set up in middle-class mediocrity, where the hotels were glamorous but most of the people who lived near them could not afford even half a night in a single room. Each hotel was filled with nameless and well-known wealthy foreigners.

She drew her knees to her chest and closed her eyes. She could see the Jedi Master facing her, the belief in his own rightness shining in his eyes. He'd said, "Some part of you wants to stop this before it goes too far." Like she would actually listen, or as if she hadn't weighed all of this before she joined Sidious.

And she could see Obi-Wan's unconscious form. He'd been ready to die; she'd believed that when she saw him. She'd been ready to oblige, make his passing quick if not completely painless. Not for any love of him, but because Reeft had cared for him.

But Reeft was gone. He wasn't here to appreciate anything she did in his name. Even if she mercifully killed all Jedi with the least amount of torture, he would never know.

"I should have just stabbed him."

"Yes, but that's a mistake many young Sith apprentices make at first, especially when they've been tangled up in caring for someone who doesn't understand their ways."

She jumped up and her hand dropped to her belt, where she kept her lightsaber. "Master Sidious."

He melted out of the shadows and smiled at her. "But Reeft is dead. You did the right thing. If you hadn't killed him, you would have been forced to fight him, or someone else would have killed him, and done so much more painfully than you did." He didn't touch her, but his smile looked completely gentle and understanding. "It wasn't your fault he fought so hard against death."

"He said you wouldn't win. Right before he died. He said I belonged to the Light. It's stupid sentimentality, but he truly believed it. I wish he'd learned the truth before he died."

"The Jedi never learn. That's who they are, what defines them." Sidious knelt beside her. But he still didn't touch her. "Even Dooku, at the end, died being deceived. You're lucky, young one. You may be safe from the Jedi Curse."

She sat very still and tried to weigh who and what he was against what he said. He was going to protect her; he'd promised as much. And he was going to train her so she could go back, kill the deceivers, and get what she wanted. "Reeft would have been a good Master to me if I'd really been a Jedi."

"Most likely. He was like your… papa."

"You're my real father, aren't you?"

That stopped him. He even drew half a step back before he caught himself. Then he smiled. "Your connection to the Force is amazingly sharp."

"Obi-Wan knows, I think, or if he doesn't, he will soon."

"I don't care what the upstart Negotiator knows," Sidious said pleasantly enough. "He's just another misguided Jedi."

"I know." But Obi-Wan was more, almost a worthy opponent for her. He'd escaped every trap planned for him, and had grown stronger because of it. That was one thing Reeft had taught her without teaching her. It wasn't for her to instruct her Master though, at least not until she had surpassed him.

Sidious said, "You're going to help me end the reign of the Jedi, and when that's accomplished, I'll give you anything you want."

"I want to be the one to kill Obi-Wan." She thought. "And Anakin." True, she wanted to kill Mace and Yoda, too, but she didn't want him to think she was prideful, even though she sensed this desire was a Jedi leftover. She would have to feel out this new relationship because as much as he wasn't like the Jedi, he was like them because he didn't spell things out, but left her to discover for herself. The biggest part of discovery was observation.

"Very well, if it falls into your hands to kill him. But for now, what I want from you is yoru skills in the Force, your ability to sense what others do not. Your task in this coming battle will be to distract Anakin Skywalker and possibly orchestrate his death."

That would hurt Obi-Wan and make him careless. "But Anakin is the Chosen One. Do you think I'm ready to face him, Master?"

"If your goal is to distract and take viable openings, yes."

"But Obi-Wan will be with him. They're never apart."

"I'll make sure they're separated. Never fear that."

oOo

Anakin sat on the low bench in the Garden of Light and waited for Woda. His little brother would be coming soon; Yoda was sending him. It was time to apologize. His thoughts weren't about Woda, but he knew that was because he feared this discussion. Woda had become more and more of a mainstay for him during Obi-Wan's newest absence, but now that he'd betrayed his brother, what could he say to make the wounds heal?

Left with no answer, Anakin let his thoughts go where they would, and, as always, they went to Obi-Wan. At first, what he thought of were good things: waking up in Obi-Wan's arms that morning, the slow dance of tongues that had led to more heated play before breakfast, eating at table, stark naked, watching Obi-Wan, who was likewise undressed. _If I have my say, all our days, or most of them, good or bad, will begin and end like this._ Well, and Obi-Wan had gotten his wish and Anakin's, too, but they'd only been doing thus for two days. They were being told to stay at Temple, despite the fact that people needed them, because something else needed their attention, and they had to be home.

Darker thoughts pushed out the good ones: stumbling upon Bant that morning, Anakin backing away so Obi-Wan could hold her and talk with her about Reeft. She hadn't invited Anakin to stay, and he wasn't sure he would have felt comfortable if she'd asked, but she hadn't, and neither had Obi-Wan.

"I'm not jealous," he muttered. "It's stupid to be jealous. It's just that I'm hurting too, and-"

"Jedi talk to themselves should not."

Anakin jumped, but started laughing when he saw it was Woda instead of Yoda. "Are you mocking your papa? The greatest Jedi who's ever lived?"

"Mocking am I?" Woda asked in his nasal voice. "Or jumping to conclusions are you?" He was grinning.

"You're definitely mocking." But Anakin was smiling now because they'd fallen right back into the comfortable land of jokes. So this hadn't been destroyed, though he had some serious rebuilding to do. "Do you want to join me?" He patted the bench.

Woda hopped over to him, using the Force as much as he used his legs. "I wish I was tall, like you. You get places a lot faster than I do."

"When you're comfortable in your body, you'll be able to see and wok with it as part of the Force."

Woda scowled. "I know, but long legs would be easier."

"Obi-Wan's gotten along with short legs. Ask him how he does it."

Woda scowled, then grinned. "No one's legs are as short as mine." He settled himself beside Anakin.

The Knight braced himself for the next, harder part of this meeting. "Do you know why I called you here?"

"Something about that night you went crazy my guess is."

Anakin smiled painfully. "Yes. I wanted to apologize. I treated you…" His tone was too formal; he felt it choking him. "Woda, I'm sorry. That's all I wanted to say. You were trying to help me and I pushed you aside."

"That's all right. I'm small. It's easy." Woda laughed. "Anakin, you're forgiven, all right?" He squeezed Anakin's hand in his two small ones. "What's wrong? You and Obi-Wan... You're good, right?"

"Yeah." Anakin smiled and lifted Woda into his lap. "We're great. Except I feel like we're supposed to be doing something, but we can't because something's telling us to stay here. And it might not be the Force." He sighed, shook his head. "I shouldn't be scaring you like this."

"The Force is clouded. I know. But it will get unclouded. Soon."

Anakin hugged his little brother, the one being, he realized now, who had kept him from walking into the Dark Force before it was time for Obi-Wan to wake up and save him. "I wish I knew how soon."

"As soon as you do whatever you're supposed to do as the Chosen One." Woda pulled back. "Don't squish me." His eyes shone. "Squish me please do not. You'll do what you're supposed to do, then the Force will be something we can read again."

"And until then?" He shouldn't ask that; Woda was a chld who didn't, couldn't know the answer. And asking the question would force the chid to think of unpleasant things. "Never mind. Forget I asked."

"No." Woda crossed his tiny arms and glared up at Anakin. "I want to answer. Until you bring balance, we're all going to fight if we're supposed to fight and hide if we're supposed to hide."

"How can you-?"

"Be so wise?" Woda laughed. "Smart you should be too. You have Yoda and the Force as parents. I have Yoda and Mace."

Anakin smiled a little. "True." He stood, sensing someone coming. His bond with Obi-Wan was completely open; he sensed Obi-Wan was still working with those who would shield the younglings. Their places of hiding had all been changed since Obi-Wan couldn't remember how much, if any, of his knowledge of the original plan had been read by Xanatos's mind probe.

Bant rounded the corner in the path and nodded to them both. "The Council wants to see you."

"Why didn't they just call him? Master," Woda added.

She said, "All communications are being jammed. It's only a temporary inconvenience, I'm sure."

Anakin knew, from her eyes, that it was more upsetting than that. He said, "Would you mind taking Woda back to his room, Matser?"

"Of course not." She started away and Woda, after glancing at Anakin longingly, for all the world as if he wanted to go, too, followed. But before she reached the corner, she turned to Anakin. "Obi-Wan will meet you there."

He was being called off his first task? Anakin reached out and found Obi-Wan in the increasingly murky flow of the Force. _A mission?_ He didn't even try to hide his hope.

_I believe so. _Obi-Wan's smile was apparent in both their minds. _Tell me of your talk with Woda._

_He's not afraid of the coming Darkness. He says we'll all find a way to fight or hide, whatever we're meant to do. I wish it was that easy._

_So do I. But he's right: many people will have the sense to hide from the… the Darkness._

Anakin strode out into the corridor and caught a lift. _Why the hesitation?_

_IT was on the tip of my tongue to say 'the empire' instead of 'the Darkness', but that's overly dramatic. And dangerously inaccurate. The Dark Side is against government, even a stagnant one like the Republic's._

_An empire comes with implied power. That's something Dark Side would want._

_True. _Obi-Wan allowed his concern to flicker for a moment between them, then he sent,_ I'm here. See you inside._

Anakin entered the COucni Chamber bare seconds later and took his place at Obi-Wan's side. He searched the faces of the Jedi Masters and saw only calmness. What else had he expected?

"Speak of a painful subject we must," Yoda said. "Losing a Master difficult is, but time it is for a master to take his place on the Council. Ryn-yn took Master Zee's place, and now time it is for another to take his." His eyes were on Obi-Wan. "Wish we do to confer upon you that honor and burden."

Obi-Wan was silent and his mind was blank for a moment. Then he said, "Masters, I am honored. But is this not something you should be granting to an older master, one with more experience?"

"Experienced much you have," Yoda said. He glanced at Mace.

"You have complete freedom of choice," Mace said. "But not much time. We have to send you on a mission and we need your answer before you leave."

Silence again, and Anakin realized that Obi-Wan was seeking an answer from the Force, even now that he couldn't be sure of a completely accurate reading. He was about to comment on this, just between the two of them, but another revelation hit him: Obi-Wan was seeking in the Force for an answer, but whatever answer he got he was going to weigh against everything he knew from a life ived in the Force. Anakin was hard-pressed not to grin.

"I accept," Obi-Wan said.

Yoda nodded. "Time for the ceremony there is not. Leave immediately you must. Clues to Annie's trai we have, and pursue her you must. Pursue her you both must."

"She is still here on Coruscant," Mace said. "And while he could send other Jedi, you may have the best chance of bringing her back."

"She doesn't care for Obi-Wan at all, Master," Anakin said.

"It's not her heart we want to appeal to," Mace answered, "but her skill level is great and you remain the most diverse and connected Jedi team. I wouldn't send anyone with less skill after her."

"We know how you feel about her," Master Cro said. "But, Obi-Wan, please understand that we have full confidence in you."

Anakin felt his lover's pain and determination. He saw visions of Zee trapped in the dungeons below, and he knew Obi-Wan feared that for Annie. Sidious couldn't have chosen a surrogate more likely to love what woud only hurt him.

"We will do all we can to bring her back," Obi-Wan said. And, to Anakin, _There may still be hope for her. Please don't give up. Nothing is sure until it has happened._

Mace held out a pad and Obi-Wan took it. "There is all the information you will need." He touched his temple. "Anakin can easily reach us this way if communications aren't restored by the time you find her." His face darkened. "Be careful. Sidious may be involved directly with her. He maybe even be on Coruscant, though that is unlikely. Caution is of the utmost importance."

"We didn't ask you to be a master just to lose you," Kit Fisto said. "This isn't a suicide mission. Your safe return is more important than bringing her back."

Obi-Wan bowed. "I understand."

"Do you?" Mace's frown was thunderous. "Your first duty is to the Force. Don't forget that."

That could have been taken as an insult, but Obi-Wan received it as he received amost everything. "Yes, Master." He pocketed the pad. "We'll leave as soon as we've reviewed this."

"May the Force be with you," Yoda said, and after a bow, Anakin led the way out of the Council Chamber.

As soon as they were alone, he touched Obi-Wan's arm. "You have to remember that she held off Arnen and Gareth with a falling ceiling, and that she almost killed you. She has no reason to talk to us."

"True, but she also has many reasons to underestimate at least me, so we'll have that advantage. And she may see you as an extension of me- as weak- or as the Chosen One, depending on how much she picked up before she left Temple and on who she's talked to since." He wasn't looking at Anakin and the low ache of pain hovered around him like a cloud. No one could see it or even hear in his voice, but he was completely open to Anakin.

"I thought you distanced yourself from her a long time ago." They had reached a lift and took it up towards the landing platform.

Obi-Wan had the pad out and he was reading through it with a Jedi usual speed. "I have, but there's more than that at play. She's killed two masters, could have killed Arnen and me, and she wasn't abducted. This wasn't like Bruck, who fell under a spell of decadent promise; I believe Annie knows exactly what she's doing and why."

"Bruck?" Then he remembered: When Obi-Wan was thirteen, feeling trapped and unworthy, Xanatos had invaded the Jedi Temple and coerced another padawan, Bruck, to do some of his dirty work. When Xanatos had left Bruck to die, Obi-Wan had been unable to save his fellow, though rival, padawan. "Never mind. Does that mean she can't be saved?"

"No, but it means our chances are poor of this being peaceable, and even worse of bringing her home without injury, either to one of us, or to her." He frowned. "She's been seen in several places, almost always in the company of several tall, cloaked men who could pass for Jedi to most citizens. She doesn't venture into dangerous areas, per se, but doesn't spend time in well-traveled places either. She's in mediocrity, which is a good place to hide." He scrolled up and reread something. "Annie goes by the name Annie Kenobi, and has been heard to say that she was banished from the Temple when it was discovered she was the child of a raped and violated Jedi. Three guesses who." He sighed. "It may be she wants to show the Jedi as weak and will strike out however she can."

"Or she could be purposely leaving a trail for us to follow, hoping it would be us that went after her." The doors to the lift opened at last; it had been operating at half power, Anakin realized, and he wondered why. They started across the platform.

"We were sent on this mission for more than just our skill," Obi-Wan said, and his eyes were on the Temple as he held the pad out to Anakin. "Master Yoda thinks something is going to happen, and he wants us to be mobilized already, ready to tackle it. And besides, there are other missions for the rest of Council. Did you notice four of them were present only by hologram? That's the highest ratio of Council members off-site that I've ever heard of. And I think it's only going to get worse." He hailed a senior padawan who was standing by a prepared speeder. "Gli'n, how many speeders are available?"

The padawan checked her own pad, then said, "Five. But four are designated for…" her voice dropped "you know."

Obi-Wan did, and so did Anakin: the younglings' retreat. Force, had it come to this, when the speeders had to be kept on constant standby? Anakin realized he'd still been thinking of the fall of the Jedi as a possible, far-in-the-future thing, not a reality that could strike any moment and had to be treated as such.

"We'll take this one," Obi-Wan said and he slipped gracefully over the closed door on the passenger side instead of opening it as he would usually.

Anakin read the urgency in Obi-Wan's movement and joined him at once.

"May the Force be with you," Gli'n said.

"And with you, Padawan," Obi-Wan answered, then Anakin gunned the engine and lifted into the air.

"What were you thinking?"

"I wanted to have as much maneuverability as possible." Obi-Wan's smile was wan. "And I would still rather fly alone than with you, beloved. You turn flying into-"

"Suicide. I know." Anakin laughed and dropped them two lanes down with only a flicker of a signal and a casual glance over his shoulder.

Obi-Wan white-knuckled the drop, then sighed and kept one hand on the dash as an anchor. With his other, he touched Anakin's hand. "Try to keep our bond open. You're probably going to feel a great urge to close it or hide things in an attempt not to distract me. Believe me: I'll be much less distracted by your feelings than I would if I couldn't feel you."

Anakin nodded and rolled completely over so he could drop another three levels in a blinding streak. When they were level again- if Obi-Wan hadn't been grasping his mechanical hand, Anakin knew he would have been rewarded for his daredeviling with bruises- he said, "I'll keep it open." He felt the easing in Obi-Wan's mind at once and knew that at least some of his lover's concern had more to do with Anakin's continued growth as a Jedi and less with the mission at hand. He squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. "I love you."

That got him a smile and a further relaxing. "I love you, too."

oOo

Padme rested her hands over her belly as she lay on her back in bed. It was doubtless too late to still be in bed, but she'd been throwing up most of the morning. She was finally starting to show, at least when she wore form-fitting clothes, but she'd thought maybe she'd escaped the morning-sickness stage, which usually happened- or so she'd heard- before she started looking like a jar of pickles.

Her thoughts were with Anakin, and on the dreams she'd had about their babies. The Force was certainly taking its own sweet time with this pregnancy and she wondered yet again how much longer she was going to play surrogate mother to these children. Her heart told her she wouldn't get to raise them.

Jealousy gnawed at her for a moment until she banished it as idiocy. She'd been thinking that Obi-Wan would get to raise her babies. Surely Obi-Wan wouldn't have time for that; he was a Jedi in a darkening galaxy.

Padme got out of bed, ignoring her headache and still-churning stomach. She found her communicator and touched it. Anakin had left her his frequency. "Anakin?"

"Padme? Are you all right?"

It was Obi-Wan, not Anakin, and she hated herself for the gall that rose in her throat. "Is Anakin all right?"

"Yes. He's right here, but he's having trouble _flying straight, Anakin_. We're not trying to attract attention."

She wanted, suddenly, to have Anakin hold her. It was stupid; she didn't even like him like that. And forget love.

"Padme, are you all right?" Obi-Wan asked, and his voice was gentle. He was so obviously himself again, not falling apart as he'd been the day she kept feeding him squares. "Padme, what's wrong? We can be there in two minutes if you need us."

She started to cry and hated herself for the weak sound. "I want Anakin."

"He'll be there soon. Just drop me here and go."

Anakin: "Padme, what's wrong?"

"Please, Anakin," she whispered.

"Go, Anakin. She needs you." There was a pause, and she heard the engine of a speeder accelerating. Then the connection went dead.

And the dark curtain that had lain across her mind, smearing her thoughts, was whipped away, and Padme gasped. She blinked hard and her hand went to her belly again. The children of the Force were fine, and she didn't need Anakin or any man to reassure her. Strength wasn't something she lacked. And what was this dangerous idiocy, calling Anakin, feeling jealous of Obi-Wan who had given nothing but Light and healing to the galaxy.

She activated her communicator again. "I'm fine," she said into it.

No answer.

"Anakin?"

Still nothing.

She switched to Obi-Wan's frequency. "Obi-Wan?"

"Anakin's on his way," he answered, "Padme, you must remain calm."

"I'm calm," she said and she was blushing. "I felt… something, like a blanket stifling me."

She heard something that sounded like, "The Dark Force," then he spoke closer. "Have you tried to contact Anakin?"

"I can't reach him."

"I'll- Wait." And she heard the vibrating hum of his lightsaber. She closed the link, afraid to distract him, and tried to contact the Temple. He was in trouble, and Anakin wasn't there to help him. Because of her.

oOo

Standing on a flat roof a full mile below the Temple and at least ten miles east, Obi-Wan slipped his communicator away. The Force was alive with the nearness of something Dark, and he remembered being captured on Geonosis. If he had anything to say in the matter, he wasn't going to let it happen again.

His lightsaber was ready in his right hand and he sought the disturbance.

When she laughed, it was from a direction no less likely than other, and he faced her with his lightsaber angled across his body like a shield. "Annie, please talk to me. I want to help you." She was dressed in loose, back trousers and a gold-brown shirt that made her look older than she was. It was the way the shirt picked up the spark in her eyes, he decided, and he lowered his weapon a fraction of an inch in a peacemaking gesture. "Can we sit down and talk about this? No tricks, no fighting, just a discussion."

"All you Jedi do is talk. And deceive." Annie stood on a nearby rooftop; the distance between them was less than a stone's throw. A plunging chasm stood between them, not a true challenge to either.

"You're still a Jedi, Padawan."

She scowled and suddenly her hand was out, pushing at him through the Force.

He'd been expecting it; the tale of her use of the ceiling was very much with him. He caught the brunt of her push in his left hand, only nudged back a single step before he stood firm. Why would she use her command of the Force when she could have used her lightsaber? The answer was that she most likely didn't have a weapon anymore. She'd used Arnen's own lightsaber to force the Knight to submit to her will.

Annie dropped her hand abruptly. "What do you want? I know it's not to _talk_."

"Why would I lie to you?"

But she wouldn't have any of that; her hand dropped to her belt. He'd seen the blaster when she first arrived, and he was ready for this, too. But she didn't draw it. Instead, she said, "Reeft woud have joined me if he understood what the Jedi have become."

Obi-Wan deactivated his lightsaber but didn't put it away. He clasped his hands at parade rest and met her gaze. "You sound as Count Dooku did before he realized the Dark Force is made of lies."

She scowled and her eyes flashed more heatedly. "You don't know anything. I'm better off now than I ever was."

"You sound as if you're not sure." He holstered his 'saber and took three steps to the edge of his roof. She stood only half a step from the lip of her own. "Annie, come back. The Darkness sounds perfect but in your heart you know it's all a dangerous lie. There is still time to do all Reeft knew you could."

"I killed Ryn-yn!" she screamed, and she drew the blaster.

Obi-Wan didn't flinch or draw his weapon. "I know. You also killed Reeft. And you would have killed me but for those who intervened. And right now, you're doing all you can- you might even be getting help- to interfere with the bond Anakin and I share. Please understand that your new trick works for right now, but we will find a way around it, and even if we don't, Anakin and I don't need that bond to function."

She retreated from him. "You do need him, but I don't need you." And she turned and made to flee.

"Annie, wait!" He put all the Force-command within him into those two words, and for an instant, she paused and turned. Her eyes were blank for an instant as she was hypnotized.

Then she shook her head violently and bolted. She vaulted over the opposite edge of the building.

By the time he got there, she was gone.

"Well, that went well." He sighed. Next step: find Anakin. Surely they'd been separated for this reason: that he would face Annie alone. But it hadn't gone as someone had wanted. Obi-Wan headed for the lift that would take him off the roof. And as he ran, he wondered if they had been separated so Anakin could face something on his own. It was not good thought. He took out his comlink. "Padme."

"Obi."

"Anakin? This isn't your frequency." The lift wasn't working. Obi-Wan yanked open the door to the stairs, then Force-leapt off the first landing. He passed six floors before catching himself for a moment, then starting his fall once more.

"The Dark Force was here with Padme. I think it was trying to kill-"

"Her," Obi-Wan overrode him.

"No, the-"

"The aide that shares her quarters," Obi-Wan said loudly, hoping Anakin would get the message. And in the midst of that need for Anakin to understand, he realized he'd lied to himself a little when he told Annie he and Anakin could get along without their bond being open. They could do it, but it would be a challenge.

"Yeah, probably Jar Jar. Are you all right?"

"Yes. The blackout of communications has extended beyond Temple." He meant their bond, too.

"I noticed. But we can still talk."

"For now. I'm going to head back to Temple and bring them the news. I've seen her, talked to her. She doesn't have a lightsaber, or at least she didn't have it with her today. She wasn't dressed as a padawan anymore." That shouldn't have mattered, but it did. "If you need to, bring Padme to Temple. I don't advise leaving her alone."

"I'll see you there. Be careful."

"I will. You?"

"I will." Anakin sounded upset, thought, and Obi-Wan hoped they'd only get a little time to talk about this. But then Anakin surprised him by explaining the source of his pain. "It's not right that she should be attacked. She isn't even a Jedi."

"Yes, but she had a choice, just like we did." He knew those weren't comforting words. "Bring her to Temple." The Darkness was building up around him again. "I have to go." And, not that he wanted to worry Anakin, but with their bond blocked: "Something's tracking me. I'm just now coming out of the A'Meheen Building on the corner of Diplomat Street South. If I'm not at Temple by the time you get there, I may need your help." The Darkness pressed in on him from everywhere and because he couldn't feel its direction, and because he sensed the Darkness was trying to keep him away from Temple, he put on a burst of speed, leaping over two stalled speeders. "Obi-Wan out."

oOo

Anakin stood guard at the door to her bedroom, his back to her, his senses reaching out. He made a temporary Light shield around her and waited for her to get dressed. He needed to get to Obi-Wan, but he wouldn't leave her defenseless. He had been so relieved when he arrived to find that she didn't feel like she'd sounded: Dark. But that had led to why she sounded that way, and then he'd felt what had been lurking in the room with her.

The Darkness was gone now, but he wasn't taking any chances. Force knew he might be needed to help Obi-Wan. His lover had faced Annie alone, and though Obi-Wan hadn't sounded hurt or as if she had put him through any sort of hard strain, Anakin didn't trust his ears. And he wouldn't be completely happy until he had Obi-Wan safe in his arms.

"Is Obi-Wan all right?" she asked from behind him. "You can turn around now."

He faced her. It was strange, but he'd offered to turn his back so she wouldn't be embarrassed, no matter what they'd shared in the past, and she hadn't said no. Now, as he looked at her dressed in traveling-trousers and a shirt that would blend in, he had to smile. He gestured at the hat she held in one hand. "You'll wear that, too?"

"I don't want anyone to know I'm connected to the Jedi. That's not good for my job, or my chances to eavesdrop on other Senators." She brushed past him, into the living room, where she started fixing her hat in place.

"You eavesdrop?" he asked, his muscles relaxing the tiniest bit. She was joking with him, or at least taking a light attitude to this situation, and that helped, doing for him what he and Obi-Wan did for each other often.

"Occasionally." She finished her preparations and caught up a bag. Into it went a change of clothes and three data pads.

"Where did you-?" He gestured at the low shelf where the clothes had been stored.

"We've- Senator Organa and I- have talked of always being ready to move at a moment's notice." Her cheeks colored a little, then she met his eyes defiantly. "Times are rough."

He nodded. "You're doing the right thing. It's what I would do, if I hadn't been doing just that since I became Obi-Wan's padawan. We always have to be ready to move." He grinned. "That's an unspoken law that some Jedi are lax with, others take to extremes, and some keep on a practical level. Qui-Gon used to insist that Obi-Wan check his overnight bag once every six months because it was the bare minimum required. Obi made me wash the clothes in my overnight bag if I'd gotten them dirty, but otherwise eave them alne because he didn't want me to take something out, then forget it."

"What about the six-month minimum?" She was leaving a note for Jar Jar; he could read it over her shoulder. It was a politician's note: tailored to give comfort without being specific.

"Well, since I used the clothes in that bag every other mission, I ended up washing them at least twice a month. No danger of breaking the minimum." He led the way out of her set of rooms and to the lift.

"I'm confused," she said as the doors closed and they started down. "Qui-Gon insisted Obi-Wan check his overnight bag only every six months? Didn't his clothes…"

"Reek by then?" Anakin chuckled. "This is Obi the Neat Freak we're talking about. When Qui-Gon ordered him to check his bag, he'd bring the bag in, show his master the well-packed, neatly-folded contents, Qui-Gon would smile, and Obi could back to doing whatever he'd been doing when he was called."

"Neat Freak. That doesn't seem like a good thing to call your lover."

"Probably not, but he probably calls me a slob in his own mind, where only he and I can hear it."

"Is your connection to him working yet?"

"No. But it will be restored. The Dark Force isn't this ascendant yet; it won't be able to keep us separated without specifically focusing on that task. I'd be willing to bet al other Jedi have their bonds still intact."

She led the way out of the lift and to a speeder, but she stopped when he pointed to a pedestrian bridge instead. She didn't ask, but started that way. "So the Dark Force is focusing on you. That doesn't sound like a good thing, Anakin."

"It's not, but it failed. Annie didn't hurt him. And it didn't hurt you."

"It wasn't here for Jar Jar." She was trying to smile, but he saw the concern in her eyes. "The babies?"

"I don't know if it was the babies, since I don't think anyone knows about them except us, and the attack you endured had to be directed. At the least, the person who sent the Dark Force to you wanted to separate Obi and me. At the worst, he or she wanted to kill you because he or she thinks you're close to this, either close to me or to Obi."

"I felt… like I wanted you near me. And I was jealous that you were with Obi-Wan. When I thought of my babies, I was afraid I wouldn't get to raise them. Even though I already know I won't raise them both. But I was so afraid you and Obi-Wan would raise our children and… Jealous is the best word for it, but it was more than just a girl's jealousy, like I felt when I was a girl. I was almost… ready to hurt him. That's horrible."

They were on the other side of the bridge now, only two blocks from the Temple. "The Dark Force can cause a lot of damage," Anakin said. "Especially if you're Force-sensitive, which you are." He shook his head and laughed. "Obi knew this back on Geonosis and it took me your acceptance of carrying our children and then the attack today to consciously recognize it."

"He knew on Geonosis? How?"

"I don't remember. He said it after you fell out of the ship. We… had an argument. I almost attacked him."

"You were far gone on Geonosis," she said. Then: "I'm sorry. That sounded more like an insult than I intended."

"It's all right; I know I was out of it. Sometimes I wonder how I could have made all those mistakes. Then I realize that dwelling on them takes time from life, so I just take the lessons and move on." He caught her elbow and turned her face into his chest even as he hid his own face with the brim of her hat.

It would look as if they were two lovers kissing. "What about your Jedi clothes?" Then she realized he was wearing just dark pants and a dark shirt. "Why aren't you-?"

"I had a feeling we were going undercover. So did Obi. When we got dressed this morning, it was conscious decision on both our parts." He tightened his arms around her waist and lowered his voice. "Kiss me."

She stared at him and he saw the fear in her eyes that he'd come under the influence of the Dark Force. He tried to show her with his gaze that he wasn't, but he couldn't be sure she'd gotten the message. Then they were out of time and he kissed her full on the mouth, making sure they were screened from anyone and everyone. He counted to five as the thing, whatever it was, that watched them walked away, then he waited another five to make sure it wasn't coming back.

When he was sure, he pulled back and hurried her towards the Temple. "I'm sorry about that, but we were being watched by someone dangerous. I don't know if it was just a spy for the Separatists or someone trying to bring the downfall of the Jedi, but I didn't want to take any chances either of us would be recognized."

She nodded as she recovered her breath. "But on top of what I dealt with less than an hour ago, that wasn't the best way to do it."

He blinked. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't even… I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't. I don't like you as more than a little brother. There's no hidden sexual tension between us, so you didn't. You love Obi-Wan. I mean, it's not like you were hard."

He flushed. "No. I'm not. It's not that you're not beautiful-"

"You love Obi-Wan. Stop apologizing for something wonderful. I just wish you'd thought of something else besides kissing."

He nodded. "I'll think harder next time."

Then they were on the steps of the Temple and Anakin hurried her up to the doors. He pushed them open and they made their way towards the Council Chamber. He wouldn't be allowed to take her inside, but he'd leave her right outside the chamber while he asked for sanctuary for her. That would mean explaining the children, but he had a feeling Yoda, and possibly Mace, already knew. And as they made their ways through the halls, he looked for Obi-Wan.

As if she was reading his mind, she said, "You didn't answer my question. About Obi-Wan. Is he all right?"

"I don't know."

She squeezed his hand. "I can find my way from here. Maybe you should-"

_Anakin!_ Not panicked, but pressed was how Anakin would have described that call.

He froze, then turned and started for the front of the Temple. "Get to the Council Chamber," he ordered without glancing at her. He flew to the front door and shoved it open. Obi-Wan wasn't on the steps or anywhere he could see. _Obi, where-?_

_The Senate rotunda. Get over here._

Then their connection was broken again. Anakin winced and leapt down the stairs. He tried his comlink. "Anakin to Yoda. There's something wrong at the Senate. Obi-Wan's there alone. I'm on my way. Send back-up."

"Acknowledged."

It was Mace, not Yoda, and Anakin refused to think what that might mean. Instead of waiting for the pedestrian bridge to extend, he drew into himself and ran hard for the gap. He'd never Force-leapt this far, and there weren't any terraces under the Senate to catch himself on if he didn't make the jump. Too bad; this alert was worse than the last time he'd been called by the Force to the Senate building. If the call of the Force could be translated into sound, Obi-Wan's call for him was backed by a city-leveling explosion.

He leapt and moved so he was as streamlined as possible.

The weightless, rushing shock of it made him laugh, but his eyes were narrowed and all his senses were at their peak.

Someone in a speeder honked at him, but stayed out of his way by jamming on their breaks.

Anakin hit the other platform, staggered with the shock, went into a roll, and came up running. Behind him, someone shouted, "Now _that's_ a Jedi!" and he laughed again even as he Force-leapt again, a short distance this time, over a slow-moving garbage scow.

The sounds of rapid fire came from the front of the Senate building, where there was little cover except for a single large statue. Anakin skidded to a stop by the corner and looked across the square. At least two hundred droids were making their way towards a short-range spaceship. They were guarding someone and they were heavily pressed by a contingent of ten security guards. Obi-Wan led the guards.

Anakin charged across the open space and reached the statue. No one- except Obi-Wan, probably- had noticed him and he was on the blind side of the droids. He ignited his lightsaber and raced towards them. He cut into their flank, beheading five with one stroke.

But then his advantage of surprise was gone and he was being shot by fifty droids. He protected himself but he couldn't protect whoever it was that was being held in the midst of the droids. He sensed that person wanted to be taken, and yet was being held as if he didn't want to go.

Obi-Wan joined him and they began to make progress,

"The other guards?" Anakin asked as he took out three more droids.

"All or dead or badly injured." Obi-Wan cut off a droid arm, then ran his lightsaber through the droid's chest. "Reinforcements?"

"They're on their way."

"No, I meant-" Obi-Wan ducked a shot that would have taken his head from his shoulders- "over there."

Anakin glanced to his right before he was forced to return his attention to closer things. But he'd seen it: another battalion of droids was on its way. "Great. Who've the droids got?"

"Chancellor Palpatine."

Anakin didn't spare any more breath for talk but kept going, destroying droid after droid. With Obi-Wan at his side, guarding him and being guarded in turn, they made the progress of four Jedi. But it wasn't enough, especially when the other battalion cut off their retreat.

Meanwhile, the droids that held the chancellor had reached their ship. The engines roared to life.

Obi-Wan cried out, and Anakin turned, feeling the bubble of Light Force that surrounded them stir. Obi-Wan was down on one knee. His thigh was bleeding.

They couldn't die like this. Anakin caught up Obi-Wan's lightsaber, deactivated it, shoved it into his belt, all while using his spinning weapon like a shield over his head as he crouched.

Obi-Wan caught Anakin with a loose, unbreakable grip around the neck and Anakin rocketed up and over the heads of the droids. For an instant, the droids didn't understand what was happening, so they wasted a whole three seconds blasting the hell out of each other.

By that time, Anakin's boots hit the duracrete and he was ready to face them. Obi-Wan knelt behind him, his own weapon back in his hand. He couldn't stand.

Anakin readied himself for the droids to attack, but they didn't. Instead, the remaining invaders retreated to a second ship and took off after the first. When they were gone, Anakin dropped to a crouch at Obi-wan's side. "Obi?"

"Just a-" Obi-Wan grunted and a small piece of metal, accompanied by a rush of blood, flew out of his leg. "Some of them were using actual projectiles instead of energy weapons. That's strange." He yanked his tunic off over his head and ripped a strip from free.

Anakin took the strip and urged Obi-Wan to sit down. He bandaged the wound. "Let's get you back to Temple."

"Annie's involved. This kidnapping wasn't her idea, but she's closely involved. It's got to be you and I that go after the chancellor." He raised his head and shouted, "Over here, Captain!"

Anakin turned and saw Kit Fisto leading fifty clones across the rotunda's front patio that was littered with broken droids and dying or dead men.

"Get us two fighters," Obi-Wan ordered. "Have them at the Temple in half an hour. We'll lead a siege on whatever passes for the droids' mothership if you can keep it in orbit until we get there."

"Yes, General Kenobi." The captain began sending orders to his troops. Some of them went to help the fallen.

Kit and Anakin got Obi-Wan up and to a waiting speeder.

"Are you sure you can lead a charge?" Kit asked as he checked the makeshift bandage.

Anakin took off, making a beeline for the Temple.

"Yes. And even if I wasn't, it has to be us. No glory, no craving of action; be assured of that. But it has to be us."

"You're the most peaceful aggressive negotiator I've ever met," Kit answered. "I was already supposed to be headed out on a mission or I'd join you." He clasped Obi-Wan's shoulder. "May the Force be with you."


	52. Dogfight and Rescue

Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your patience

Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your patience. I know it's been a long time, but all I can claim is lots of drama here at home. There hasn't been an end to that, but I've been able to escape into the Star Wars world a little, and here are the results: this chapter and another (and the start of another!)

Table of Contents

Five Years (Escape) Pg. 1050

Five Years (Coming Home) Pg. 1079

Five Years (False Recovery) Pg. 1100

Five Years (Before the Abduction) Pg. 1126

Five Years (Abduction) Pg. 1142

Five Years (Dogfight and Rescue) Pg. 1166

Five Years (Dogfight and Rescue)

Padme stood before what she thought was the Council Chamber. She felt an urge to shiver and repressed it. Still, as she lifted her hand to knock, she saw her fingers tremble. She clenched them in a fist and knocked.

There was a brief silence, then the doors parted and she found herself facing a dark-haired, dark-eyed, white-faced being in Jedi robes. He looked almost like a spook. Padme realized the pale, pale skin was natural for this being and breathed again. "Anakin Skywalker sent me here. The Force asked us to-"

"Come in you should," said a soft voice. It came from across the room instead of from the being before her. Then the white-faced Jedi stepped aside and she entered.

The Council Chamber was larger than she'd expected, and yet she sensed it wasn't as large as it seemed, only that it had been designed in such a way to provide the illusion, mixed with much truth, of airiness. Padme pulled her gaze form the room and faced the semicircle of Jedi which waited for her to speak.

She had never been intimidated by a Jedi, but there was, apparently, a first time for everything. And yet, in the midst of her nervousness, something in her responded with joy to all these powerful Jedi sitting around her. She felt a mad urge to bow or curtsy and restrained herself.

She focused on Yoda, whom she had dealt with many times before, and to him she did bow. "Master Yoda. Thank you for admitting me."

"Welcome here you are." He waited.

She sensed his infinite patience and this took away even more of her nervousness. "Anakin sent me here because the Dark Force tried to attack me. It filled my mind with thoughts that weren't my own." She lowered her eyes.

"Right to come here you were. Hmmmph. Disturbing this attack by the Dark Force is. Tell more about it can you?"

"Anakin said he and Obi-Wan were being prevented from talking by the Dark Force." She bit her lip, abandoning a little of her decorum before this noblest Jedi. He wouldn't think less of her. "It- the Dark Force- made me hate Obi-Wan. I don't know how that's possible but I know it's what happened."

"Force-sensitive you are," Yoda said. "Hmmph." He rested his chin atop his folded hands and gazed at her as if he could see every beat of her heart and knew what it meant. "For now-"

There came a knock at the chamber door and the same Jedi opened it, admitting a medic. The man stepped forward and bowed to the room. "Master Kenobi and Knight Skywalker have gone to the battle in orbit," he said. "They did so against my recommendation. Master Kenobi has a severe injury in his leg and should not be fighting." He looked, she thought, discomfited, and she thought it was because he was being forced to call a master's logic into question.

"A choice has been made," Yoda said and he was silent.

"Thank you for your information," Mace said. "When they return, we'll make sure his leg's seen to." A ghost of a smile touched his mouth. "And that he sits down a little and lets it heal."

The medic bowed. "Thank you, Master." He was disappointed; she could see that. Maybe he'd even hoped the Council would order Obi-Wan to bed rest immediately. But he understood he'd gotten the best of what the Council was willing (or perhaps able) to offer. He left.

Mace now spoke to Padme. "You are welcome to stay here at Temple as long as you wish."

"With your permission, Masters, I will stay until O- Master Kenobi and Knight Skywalker return. Maybe the Dark Force will have…" She floundered.

"Know we do about your children," Yoda said. "Protected you and they will be as long as it is in our power to do so."

"Thank you,Master."

The pale-faced Jedi- she was female, Padme saw- gestured towards the doors. "I will find you a place to rest, Senator."

Padme started to follow out, but then turned back. "Master Yoda, will you let me know when they return?"

He nodded. "I will."

"Thank you."

oOo

Anakin felt time double back on itself. It wasn't that he hadn't been in dogfights at least fifty times in the last two years, which amounted to a thousand battles since he 'accidentally' entered the fight above Naboo's atmosphere; it was only that he felt like that carefree, loves-flying-to-a-fault kid. Yes, he and Obi-Wan were going into a battle against General Grievous's ship, but Anakin couldn't separate the concern for the Chancellor, and the fact that he'd never seen General Grievous, from his desire to rock and roll among the stars.

_And so you should embrace your joy,_ Obi-Wan sent. _Just keep your mind searching everywhere. The Dark Side is stronger around that ship than I've ever felt before._

Anakin didn't want to ask, but it was his duty as a Jedi to ask, if only so he understood: _Including with Xanatos and with that helmet?_

Obi-Wan's answer was completely calm: _Yes._

Anakin sensed Obi-Wan had descended to the calm and cool place from which his lover operated best. He asked, needing to know the truth about one more thing before the battle was truly engaged: _How's your leg?_

_IT itches something fierce, but it's strong and will support me. I think I can even manage without a limp._

_What about hand-to-hand-?_

_They're ready for us. Let's get in there._

_Obi…_

_I'll count on your help, Beloved, but I must be here for this. If there's to be any chance of bringing Annie home, it's now._

_You'll always try to bring her home._

Obi-Wan sighed. _Yes._ Then he dove in amidst the cloud of Republic and Separatist fighters, laving Anakin to follow.

This state of affairs didn't last long; Anakin soon led, both because he was more confident about the machine under his control and because his blood ran hotter by nature. In the back of his mind, fury began to grow, but it happened so slowly that when he finally noticed, it was nearly too late.

But that time was a long way off. Right now, as he dove through space like a dolfain through the depths of the ocean, All he could of was the freedom that was his for the asking. Not even thoughts of his conversation with Obi-Wan, words exchanged in haste while the Master was getting his leg seen to, interfered too deeply. He'd told Obi-Wan; Obi-Wan would know how to help and protect Padme once they had rescued the Chancellor.

And what about Obi-Wan's assertion that they must be the ones to lead this mission? Anakin didn't doubt that they must, and he didn't doubt Obi-Wan knew what he was talking about, but near where his anger grew dwelt a single thought: _If she hurts Obi, if she comes within an inch of hurting him, I'll kill her and damn Obi's anger or what should be done or what's Jedi-like. She hurts him, I'll make sure she's dead._ He didn't acknowledge this thought, wasn't even consciously aware of it, but it leant him strength and fury, and it made him dangerous.

oOo

When the two of them had talked about protecting Padme, they'd been surrounded by dozens of bustling healers and medical droids. Wounded Jedi lay here and there, along with a few civilians, those who had risked their lives to help the Order (more so than the Republic was the unspoken consensus). Obi-Wan sat in a chair, which wasn't the best position for his leg, but the chair was the most readily-available space. He watched the droid work at his leg for a moment, then turned his eyes to Anakin. "Padme will be safe here for now, but she can't stay here. She's right; she needs to be out there."

"The Force can't accomplish its ends if she's dead." Anakin stood at parade rest.

Obi-Wan recognized this posture as Anakin's way of keeping himself still, not pacing, and not getting in anyone's or anything's way. He wanted to be cleaning Obi-Wan's wound himself, and he wanted to already be in orbit, and he wanted to be standing between Padme and the dangers of the whole galaxy. "We will find a way to protect her," he said to his young lover. "And remember: the Force wants this, the Force chose this, over your better judgment and hers, and certainly over your emotions. If the Force took all that trouble-"

"Hold still, Master Jedi!" the droid snapped.

Obi-Wan realized he'd been unconsciously channeling the tension he sensed in Anakin, not through their bond but just through a lover's intuition. He subsided, murmuring an apology. Then, back to Anakin: "If the Force took all that trouble, It will protect her."

"Even after the… after it gets what it wants?"

"If not, we will."

Anakin relaxed just a little. "You mean it. She's right up there at the top of your priority list."

"She is. Just under following the Force and loving you."

Anakin blinked. "Why is she so-" But he stopped. "Never mind. Tell me later. This isn't the time or place."

The droid backed up. "You shouldn't be dancing on that leg, but it's mended."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan rose, tested the appendage in question and nodded. It would serve. He sensed that it wouldn't be truly healed for several days, but he didn't have days. "Let's get to the ships," he said to Anakin.

The droid squawked a warning to which Obi-Wan paid no attention. Then he was following Anakin out of the medic's circle of influence and his mind was on Annie. This would be their last "easy" chance to save her, he sensed, and he didn't plan to waste it.

oOo

Later Anakin would wonder if he'd done right. He'd recognized the need to be in the middle of things even though it had come from Obi-Wan, an unusual quarter. And later he would understand that being at the center wasn't Obi-Wan's desire, but to rescue Annie at nearly any cost, and maybe that was even more foolhardy and dangerous.

He saw the first weakness in Obi-Wan's leg when the master leapt from his dying ship to engage the droids that wanted to kill the invading Jedi. Though Anakin doubted any of the droids would realize Obi-Wan wasn't moving flawlessly, if anyone else could see them- Siths, maybe, or Annie, who had been a padawan, or even just a being well-trained in military strategy, Obi-Wan's fractionally-slower movements would be noted. Anakin was very much aware that General Grievous might very well be watching them right now.

He fought his way to Obi-Wan's side and warred with himself about whether he should suggest Obi-Wan leave. Would the older man listen? Anakin knew he wouldn't in such a situation but Obi-Wan was more reasonable, right? Maybe not where Annie was concerned.

Pulling himself out of his worries for a moment, he called, "R2, find the Chancellor." _Obi?_ he called through their bond. Things were Dark around them, but their bond was working. For now.

_Yes?_ Obi-Wan beheaded a droid and staggered half a step on his trembling leg.

_Maybe you should go back to Temple. My ship still works._

_Maybe I should, but I doubt I'll get the chance. The shield you blew out is back up and most of those that followed us up here are gone._ Sadness accompanied that thought and Anakin knew 'gone' meant 'dead'.

The last of the droids fell and the two of them moved to escape from the hanger. They stopped long enough to look at R2's floating diagram and Anakin gave his little droid a few instructions. Then they moved on. _I didn't know you could touch clones with the Force, _he sent to Obi-Wan.

_You can touch anything with the Force._ He sounded tired, and not just mentally. _You're right about my weakness; my leg isn't serving half so well as I thought it would. I'll let you do much of the coming fighting but I need to try and reach Annie here, now. If I don't, there will be worse things to come._

_You mean the fight she and I are supposed to have. But you've already changed so much of that vision._

_I haven't changed _her_ direction and that's what matters._ Obi-Wan gestured at the elevator doors. _Let's-_

_Obi?_ Anakin blinked. The thought had stayed in his own head. "The bond's been blocked again."

Obi-Wan nodded and touched the elevator's controls. "Let's get going."

oOo

They stood on the observation deck above where the Chancellor was restrained. He looked all right and Anakin nodded. They'd made it in time and his fear that Grievous would kill the symbol of the Republic, or at least give the man a good roughing-up, were unfounded. Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan and saw that the master's eyes were narrowed. What did Obi-Wan see or sense in this Dark-Force-choked environment? Annie? Maybe. Danger? Definitely. Anakin tried to fight back the Darkness so he could feel everything around him. He was the Chosen One and the final battles were coming; he'd be damned if he wouldn't find a way to reach out to the Force and feel it around him like a second skin.

Obi-Wan started down the stairs to the lower level of the observation deck and Anakin jogged behind him. They crossed together to the Chancellor's chair.

"Chancellor Palpatine," Obi-Wan said and gave the man a slight, respectful bow.

"Are you all right?" Anakin asked. He could see Obi-Wan's diplomat's mask drop out of the corner of his eye and knew Obi-Wan was ready to face not just Palpatine, whom he didn't trust, but anyone else who might be on this ship. Why hadn't he let the mask drop before now? Anakin thought that Obi-Wan had sensed something more than he had and he felt a flash of frustration. He was connected to the Force so much more naturally than Obi-Wan… And this so wasn't the time for jealousy.

The Chancellor said, "General Grievous sends a child to fight you? What's he playing at?"

Anakin turned and saw Annie standing above them. She was flanked by twenty or thirty droids and he thought these would do most of the fighting. That would be fine; he'd take care of the droids and let Obi-Wan talk to Annie. She'd attacked Obi-Wan before- twice before- and he didn't trust her just to talk, but looking at her folded hands and her calm, pale face, he thought she might still be vulnerable to Obi-Wan's powers of persuasion.

She leapt over the railing and the droids above didn't move. Anakin saw Obi-Wan's lightsaber flicker to life and activated his own. Obi didn't want to talk? He was confused but still under the influence of that shock of jealousy and he refusal to give in to such a stupid, baseless emotion.

oOo

She had wrapped herself in a deceptive blanket of the Dark Force. She looked innocent and chlld-like and timid. He couldn't see beyond the impression; the concentration of Darkness was too high. But he knew she was no longer child-like and even as his heart broke he ignited his lightsaber. Force help him, he didn't want to kill her but he was afraid he'd have to use all his skill to stay alive. He was relieved when Anakin ignited his lightsaber and moved to stand behind him. The two of them shed their outer robes in tandem.

"Give me your lightsabers, please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor."

'She sounds older.' His blood chilled and he fought to keep his mask in place. If he was going to slip and let something show, it wasn't going to be now. "Come back, Annie. Let us help you."

"When did you ever help anyone? You weren't even there to save Reeft." She was dressed in black Jedi robes and her eyes and bright red hair shone against the ebony cloth even as her face looked paler than he'd ever seen it.

"Come home," he said and stepped towards the upper deck. She most likely wouldn't let him join her on the upper deck but the closer he got the better chance he could keep her from hurting the Chancellor. "Why are you here?"

She leapt over the railing and landed before him.

The Dark Force around her was so dense Obi-Wan could feel it against his skin.

She ignited her lightsaber. "I'm going to kill you, then your padawan." Her smile was chilling. "Then the woman he cares for. I'll find her and cut her in half."

Anakin bristled but Obi-Wan laughed. "You don't even know her name and you've fallen into a child's trap of being overly dramatic. Who do you think you're fooling?" Taking a sarcastic and abrasive tone with her was going to push her away; he was closing a door. But he saw in her eyes- so much like his and he could read his own eyes very well- that she wouldn't come back to the Jedi unless she was captured. Once she was back at Temple maybe she could be saved, but he had to get her there first. And if he embarrassed or angered her enough he might get the edge he needed.

She lunged.

Both he and Anakin met her blade with their own in a two-to-one cross that should have thrown her off-balance. Instead, she shoved hard against them before retreating several steps and coming at them again. Her face was twisted and her eyes promised painful, lingering death.

She couldn't deliver. Obi-Wan knew this surely as he knew the weapon in his hand. But still he made sure that the next time she attacked he was a little ahead of Anakin. He sensed his lover was distracted by something- Obi-Wan's injury, more than likely- and he didn't dare let Anakin face her when he was less than absolutely focused. In that first moment when their blades had crossed, he sensed she might be more dangerous than Xanatos ever thought of being.

Then she lifted her hand and Obi-Wan staggered back as a wave of Force hit him full in the chest. Annie followed after, leaping up and trying to decapitate him.

Anakin intervened, catching her blade on his own. His face, lit by the glow of blue and red blades, was tense and surprised.

_Anakin, calm yourself._ But the thought stayed within his mind as Obi-Wan rolled and came up on his feet. He watched Anakin shove Annie back and Obi-Wan joined his lover. "Anakin, calm yourself," he said, sotto voce. "If-"

The rest of his warning went unheard because the droids began shooting and he had to fend off the energy bolts they fired. He deflected several and destroyed the fired that had fired them, but the droids were only firing at him, leaving Anakin free to engage Annie. How had she commanded them so? She had voiced no command and seemed to have no communicator on her. Maybe she had issued the order before entering the observation deck.

The droids advanced and Obi-Wan judged the distance. He wasn't in any condition to go leaping anywhere but it was imperative that he reunite with Anakin. She couldn't kill Anakin or even injure him. Logic said she couldn't. But there was more here at work than logic. He gathered the Force about him, asked for the strength to come down cleanly at the other end of his jump, and leapt.

His robes swirled around him as he soared and he felt the Force buoy him up. None of the droids fired until he was at the peak of his jump- they were still surprised by Jedi tricks. If they were all the Separatists had, the Jedi would find a way to end this war. He deflected bolts as he descended among the droids and when his feet touched down, he only staggered half a step before he was able to catch himself and decapitate the nearest droid. He pushed through that thrust and created more scrap metal. All the while he tried to find a hole in the Darkness that permeated the room. He could feel Anakin distantly, like seeing a candle a mile off, impossible to see but made strangely visible by the intervening night. He couldn't sense anything about Anakin, only that he was alive.

He risked a glance to his right as he deflected more bolts and saw that Anakin had driven Annie halfway up the stairs that led to the upper platform. He couldn't see Anakin's face but hers showed her rage and exertion. She was tiring and that was good, but Obi-Wan couldn't shake the feeling that something was wr-

He staggered as an energy bolt grazed his injured leg. It was like being burned by Fef'n.

"Obi!" Anakin shouted as Obi-Wan killed the droid that had shot him before falling to one knee.

"Keep your focus!" he shouted back as he Force-pushed six droids against a nearby wall hard enough to damage five out of the six. Three of them were unable to walk now and two had lost their arms. They tried to shoot but Obi-Wan wasn't there to be shot. He'd Force-leapt to the right, turned the leap into a roll, and came up on his sure leg and his trembling other. He'd be all right if he could just keep them from shooting him there again. And the best way to do that was to stop dividing his attention between his own predicament and Anakin's. His lover was going to have to be on his own. _Force be with him._

oOo

Anakin threw himself at Annie, driving her further away from the Chancellor and Obi-Wan. She staggered and he caught the upswing of her red lightsaber easily on his own blade. He grinned at her shock and pressed his advantage. "You're not as good as you think you are." His jealousy was disappearing and he was glad to let it go. Why had he been jealous anyway? Obi-Wan had studied the Force longer than he had. And he could out-fight Obi-Wan; at times like these, with his lightsaber humming in his hand, he thought maybe he didn't need all the depth upon which Obi-Wan relied.

And that way led to arrogance. He worked to re-center himself and came at her again.

Her fighting style was fierce but undeveloped. It was closer to Form I, that near-fury state of attack and defense favored by Kit Fisto and those Jedi who were able to draw a distinct line between combat-emotion and true feelings. Anakin had played with the form from time to time but he'd settled into Form Six, the form a step closer to emotion than the one Obi-Wan used (seven). He liked the balance of Form VI because it gave him more room for improvisation. Hypothetically, it would leave him more open to blaster-fire, but he'd incorporated enough of Form VII, which was designed for defense against blasters, to be an expert when facing blasters or lightsabers. In truth, he'd invented his own Form, but no one had told him this and except for a moment of pride, he wouldn't have cared. It suited him fine and had saved both his life and Obi-Wan's many times over.

Behind him, the Chancellor made an inarticulate noise.

Anakin wanted to face him but Annie charged, snarling and plunging her blade in towards his heart. This stroke he parried and the next and the next.

A wave of Force hit Anakin full in the face, snapping his head back, and he staggered, lost his balance and fell down the stairs. He didn't fall far, catching himself on the fourth step down, and he was on his feet in an instant, but he was distracted for a moment and that was all Annie needed to cut the number of her attackers by half.

While Anakin had been engaged with her, Obi-Wan had finished off the droids. He was headed up the other flight of stairs to outflank Annie. As Anakin fell, she whirled and hit Obi-Wan off the stairs and to the floor below. He collapsed there and she broke the ties on a huge piece of equipment so that it tumbled on top of him, crushing him. For an instant, the Force was alive with a flash of shocking light: he felt Obi-Wan lose consciousness.

Anakin leapt up and took a swing at her head. She avoided him easily, jumping over him and to the lower deck. She advanced on the Chancellor. "And now-"

He shoved her off-balance with the Force and came after her. His blood was up and before he reached her, he glanced at Obi-Wan again. His lover hadn't moved and when Anakin reached for him in the Force, he sensed nothing but a guttering flame. Then he was close enough to strike at Annie with his lightsaber and he put his worries to one side. If he got hurt because of his distraction he couldn't help Obi-Wan. But it was so hard not to be anxious for his lover.

He engaged her blade to blade again and kept up his attack, forcing her to be on the defensive every moment. He came at her from all directions with a limited amount of footwork. He didn't think he would need to outlast her but he was thinking that he might have to carry Obi-Wan out and he wanted to keep his strength.

She tried to feint once but almost lost her hand in the attempt. Anakin was even a little glad that Obi-Wan was unconscious because Anakin thought he might kill her. He came after her again, trying to place himself between her and Obi-Wan in case she tried some other distraction technique. Memories of his nightmares- of Obi-Wan dying before his eyes- rose to blind him. He pushed them from his mind. It wouldn't happen this way. Obi-Wan would be there when Padme had the twins and he would have to take one of them away from her. He wasn't meant to die here.

She spun away from him suddenly and ran towards the chancellor, her lightsaber raised.

Anakin followed. He brought his hand up, thinking to yank her back before she could kill Chancellor Palpatine.

Before he could call the Force to him, she stopped a couple of meters from him, took something from her pocket, and blew it in his face.

Anakin reached and caught the dust- he sensed it was a deadly, airborne poison- with the Force. He didn't try to stop Annie as she turned and fled; he pulled all the dust into a small ball, yanked a piece of cloth off the chair in which the chancellor sat and wrapped the dust in it. Then he set the ball, tightly sealed and even a little melted together so it wouldn't dispense the dust, far from the chancellor and Obi-Wan. Then he sheathed his 'saber and crossed to the confining chair.

"She was more than a child," Palpatine said. "But nothing you couldn't handle. Were you ready to kill her?"

Anakin worked at the cuffs binding the older man to the chair. And didn't meet his gaze. Now that she was gone, his thoughts were with Obi-Wan almost completely. He tried to center himself. The chancellor was waiting for an answer. He felt the urge to say that of course he wouldn't have killed a child. He said, "Only if I had no other options." The cuffs gave way and he stepped back, ready to offer the chancellor a hand if he needed it. "She'll stay away from this for awhile, I think." He spared a glance at the fight still going on outside the ship. There still seemed to be enough fighters doing their jobs. He hoped they hadn't lost too many.

The chancellor strode away from the windows; Anakin followed. "Now we must leave. Before more security droids arrive."

The knight went to Obi-Wan. He could feel his lover's life-force more strongly now and he hoped that wasn't just because Annie was gone. He dropped to one knee at Obi-Wan's side and turned him gently over. The thing that had fallen on top of him- Anakin thought it might be some form of half-portable shield generator, possibly to keep the Jedi from reaching the chancellor, had it been activated- wasn't that heavy and he thought maybe no more damage had been done to Obi-Wan's leg.

"Anakin, there's no time. We must get off the ship before it's too late."

Anakin glanced up, then back down. Obi-Wan's pulse was strong once he found it. And he was almost positive his lover's life-force was stronger now. He might even been near consciousness. "He seems to be all right."

"Leave him or we'll never make it."

Anakin raised his head once more. Thoughts about how Obi-Wan didn't trust his man flashed across his mind like lightning and for once he thought Obi-Wan was wrong. Chancellor Palpatine wasn't dangerous; he was just a coward. "His fate will be the same as ours." He lifted the thing that could have been a shield generator and let it crash harmlessly off to one side. At least the chancellor was staying well back so Anakin didn't have to worry about hitting him. Anakin checked for broken bones, found none, saw that the quick job the medical droid had done on Obi-Wan's leg still held, noted the place where his lover had been burned, and nodded to himself. At least the droid that had shot Obi had been destroyed. He got a good hold on his lover and lifted him over his shoulder. It wasn't ideal; he could get to his lightsaber quickly but would have trouble using it. Still, it was all they had. He couldn't imagine asking the elderly politician to even help him carry Obi-Wan by slinging one of the unconscious master's arms over his shoulders.

"Ready?" he asked as he started for the stairs.

Palpatine fell into step beside him. "Is this wise? I think Master Kenobi would recommend a different course of action."

"Most likely." _Unless it was me, of course,_ he thought. _Then he'd be doing the exact same thing. _Thinking of how much taller than Obi-Wan he was now, Anakin tried to picture himself slung over Obi-Wan's back and decided his lover would probably either being carrying him in another way, maybe even by using the Force. He grinned, picturing his lover tugging him through the air like a small ship hauling a space barge into port.

They topped the stairs and Anakin led the way to the elevator. He didn't even need to touch the pad by the doors to know they had a problem. When Palpatine stepped forward, he glanced at the older man and said, "Elevator's not working." He dug for and found his communicator. "R2, activate elevator three-two-two-four." He shifted Obi-Wan a little until he was more firmly seated on his back. And he thought about those attacking General Grievous's ship. They'd done some damage. That was good. But if they did too much…

_The Force will decide the things you can't control,_ he seemed to hear in Obi-Wan's driest tone. _It always does._

That was when the ship decided to point nose-down. Anakin caught a bit of metal near the elevator and felt the chancellor catch hold of him. The elevator doors opened. Well, at least that was one good thing in their favor. He pulled himself forward. Of course, there was no elevator car but as long as the ship was nose-down, he and the chancellor could run along the now-horizontal shaft. He dragged himself all the way in, helping the chancellor, and they started to jog. He sensed- the information coming more from his back and shoulder muscles than from the Force- that Obi-Wan would be awake soon. Good. He hoped only that Obi-Wan would wake up- and that they'd reach the flight deck- before the ship decided to right itself.

oOo

When Obi-Wan regained consciousness, he knew he was upside down and he knew Anakin held him. He swung up, loosing an un-Jedi-like grunt of surprise and pain as his leg decided to inform him how abused it was feeling. He put his arms loosely around Anakin's neck.

"Easy. We're in a bit of a situation."

He could hear the amusement in Anakin's voice and felt an urge to kiss his lover's ear. If he'd come to and they _hadn't_ been a situation, that would have been something. He sensed someone else in the 'situation' with them and knew it was the chancellor without having to look down.

He thought of Annie; she had most likely escaped. He sensed she was still alive and she wasn't with them. And no other Jedi had shown up or they wouldn't be dangling in… Was this the elevator shaft? And where was the silver car Anakin had cut his way out of not so long ago?

Teasing, not wanting to think of how he'd los his chance to reach her, he asked, "Did I miss something?"

Against his chest, he felt Anakin shake with silent laughter. "Hold on," his lover said. Then, almost in the same breath, "Oops."

"Uh," Obi-Wan grunted. There was the car; he could hear it coming down upon them.

Anakin got on the communicator. "R2, R2, shut down the elevator."

"Too late. Jump." Obi-Wan let go of Anakin, sensing the chancellor letting go just below him. They couldn't outrace the thing but maybe, if there was another open door along the shaft-

Anakin took out his liquid cable.

Obi-Wan reached down and grabbed the chancellor's robe and felt Anakin seize his arm. This was going to be painful. He watched Anakin shoot the cable and braced himself for the sudden jarring that would come when the cable caught. He thought to warn the politician who was now clinging to his hand with both of his own,.

It was too late. The cable caught and flung them through a set of open doors and onto the seemingly-stable deck. Obi-Wan lost his grip on the chancellor's robes as all three of them hit the floor, but that was all right. The elevator went screaming past, snapping the cable as it did so, and it didn't matter because they were alive. He pushed himself to his feet. When he saw where they were, he tried not to grin, but it was hard. They were on what R2D2's blueprint of the ship had shown to be another deck with a hangar. Had Anakin timed his shot so perfectly? Had he memorized the blueprint so completely? Both answers were almost surely yes. "Let's see if we can find something in the hanger bay that's still fly-able."

oOo

They were going to hit the atmosphere; Anakin tried to make the cruiser level. Grinning, he glanced back at Chancellor Palpatine, saw he was strapped in, and nodded. He didn't need to glance at Obi-Wan to know he was already in place.

His blood was still up from the fight with Grievous and his grin widened. The thing- was it considered alive? Probably, though he thought R2 was more alive than the creature calling itself a general- had mocked both him and Obi in an attempt to put them off-guard. Didn't it/he know anything about Jedi? Considering he'd taken so many lightsaber, it/he should know something. It had hurt Anakin's heart to see those lightsabers kept in the general's robe like trophies and he knew there were many more weren't being carried. He refused to let that fact distract him. Everyone at Temple knew the general liked to keep his little trophies; it made him feel powerful in the midst of a battle he could never win.

He and Obi-Wan had proved that, hadn't they? The general had been forced to retreat, leaving them a few more droids to dispatch and this falling-apart shit-heap to pilot.

He glanced through the canopy and nodded. They could do this. He'd already found the platform he wanted; it wasn't too far from Temple. Now he just had to shed a little heat if he could. The chances of this thing exploding weren't huge, but-

The whole ship shuddered; he was thrown forward against his own restraint. He heard R2 make a noise that sounded so much like "Uh-oh" that he had to struggle to repress a snicker. Not that he had anyone to impress but he thought the amused sound would show more of his enjoyment than he liked. Obi already knew he loved daring flight; he didn't need the chancellor spreading that fact all over the Republic. The Jedi were still seen as restrained individuals: it seemed right to keep that appearance as long as possible. If the Order was going to go out, let it do so with dignity. "We lost something."

Obi-Wan glanced at a miraculously still-working readout. "Not to worry. We are still flying half a ship."

They were losing more and bits of the ship but nothing as huge as that first chunk. Anakin only hoped most of it burned up in the atmosphere. And speaking of atmosphere… "Now we're really picking up speed." He didn't glance up through the canopy; his senses told him where they were. Obi-Wan confirmed it.

"Eight plus sixteen… We're in the atmosphere."

"Grab that." Anakin jabbed a finger at a nearby control that looked like a joystick, "Keep us level."

They descended but slower now. Anakin felt the engines shaking under him and he tried to put his will on them; they'd hold together until the ship landed and everyone was safely off; he wouldn't let it be any other way. As always when he was flying, he began to feel like an extension of the ship, so that everything around him and under him was like his own heartbeat.

"Steady," Obi-Wan muttered, as if he, too, was reaching out to the ship.

More likely the air currents outside the ship, Anakin thought, but that was just fine. Anything that kept they level until they could burn off some of the heat that had built up on the hull.

Behind him, R2 chittered a nervous speech; the droid probably felt a lot of what Anakin did.

"Easy, R2," he said. They were going to make it; they were. There was just no other option. He read one of the still-functioning screens. "Five thousand," he said, trusting Obi-Wan to interpret that correctly: they were five thousand meters up.

"Five ships on the left and on the right," Obi-Wan said.

Fire-prevention ships. They'd be spraying the hull of General Grievous's destroyed tub with coolant.

He heard, "We'll take you in," over the radio and ignored it. His thoughts were on the hull temperature.

"Landing strip straight ahead," Obi-Wan said and Anakin glanced up for a moment, then back to the readouts.

He said, "We're coming in too hot." Hoping the fire-prevention ships would give them a little more cover. Hoping Obi-Wan could keep them level for another few minutes. Hoping he could land this thing and not crash it. If he could just keep the engine together, the ship wouldn't explode.

He breathed in, felt the ship's final bottoming-out, and then they hit, full-force (well, maybe a little less than that, he conceded) and they were all thrown against their restraints. Anakin braced himself on the console in front of him, hoping it wouldn't blow up in his face. The scream of the ship's belly against the duracrete was enough to set his teeth on edge. Then he heard R2 expressing what they all felt: please let this work none of them wanted to die please let the ship stop before the landing strip did. And he wanted to laugh again.

The ship began to slow; he saw they still had a little bit of the strip left.

The hulk- not really a ship anymore; he allowed that now- slowed, slowed, and finally came to a shuddering halt.

As it settled, he glanced at Obi-Wan and breathed out. Had he really been holding his breath all that time? Apparently so. And he didn't even feel light-headed. The miracles of the Force.

Obi-Wan brushed back a lock of his hair and grinned. "Another happy landing."

Anakin lost it. Forget composure: Obi was letting go and only now did Anakin allow himself to realize how close they'd actually come to not having another night in bed. He snickered, snorted, undid the belt keeping him in his seat, and stood. He didn't offer Obi-Wan a hand, though he wanted to, but smiled at his lover. They were walking away from yet another one; life was good.

oOo

Obi-Wan and Anakin left the medics to their work and made their own way towards Temple rooms that had been set aside for Padme. Obi-Wan didn't like the chair to which he'd been confined, but he'd had no choice but accept it. And use it. He'd given his word that he would use it and he didn't want to be so vulnerable during his next mission.

Anakin walked with his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. He knew all these things, had been there when the medic gave his orders and Obi-Wan had acquiesced because there was, in the end, no other choice.

The two of them had been briefly separated as Obi-Wan went to make his report to the Council and Anakin stood by while the chancellor heaped praise on the Jedi and then spoke of the war continuing until General Grievous was captured. He'd listened to Mace speak for the Council, saying that finding the general would be the Jedi's highest priority. It hadn't been that way until now because there had just been too much killing and too many needs. But the Jedi had been given a sure way to stop the war. (Or so the chancellor said; he might renege as he had on other promises. Force, he was starting to think like Obi-Wan!)

By the time he arrived at Temple, Obi-Wan was being seen to (and lectured) by two medics and a droid. He'd stood in the doorway watching and listening until Obi-Wan, situated in a hover-chair, was released. Then the two of them started for Padme's temporary quarters. They hadn't talked about Annie yet, though Anakin knew that had to come. Nor had they talked about the mounting danger to Padme and the sure fact that she wouldn't retreat from public life. They'd learned _that_ truth when first meeting her.

He squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder as they entered the lift and the doors closed. "are you al right?"

"Are you asking about my leg?"

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "You're going to play mind-games with me? After the day we've had?"

Obi-Wan reached up, caught Anakin's hand, and drew it to his lips. "Maybe."

Anakin felt Obi-Wan smile against his hand and he dropped to one knee, touched his lover's face and turned him until their lips met. "You're not in the mood for romance; I knw you're not. But I like when you give just this little bit."

"I have the feeling our lives are going to be too busy for more than little moments like these." Obi-Wan kissed him softly. "But these moments can be enough."

Anakin nodded. Stood. "What's our next move as far as Annie's concerned? You're sure she got off the ship?"

"Yes. Like Grievous. But I don't think they escaped on the same pod. So there's still some hope."

"Not as much as before." He squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder again.

"No. That would be too much to ask for." He sighed.

"You did everything you could for her."

"I know. But thank you for saying it."

And if that wasn't a drop-it hint, Anakin didn't know what was. He'd have to bring it up again if Obi-Wan didn't. But they could afford a few minues not meditating on her.

The lift was slowing. He removed his hand in preparation to step forward and hold the door for his lover. The car stopped; the doors opened.

Gareth bowed to them. "Welcome back," he said. "Excuse me." He stepped aside so they could exit. "Are you well?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Where is Arnen?"

"He's on his own mission."

That was happening to many Jedi: teams being split up. Anakin knew one of the only reasons he and Obi-Wan hadn't suffered that fate today was because of Obi-Wan's injury. The knight said, "When will he be back?"

"No way to tell." Gareth smiled at them both. "There's nothing to be gained by worry." He touched Obi-Wan's shoulder. "You're going to rest before going back out there?"

"I have little choice. It was either this-" Obi-Wan patted the arm of the hover-chair- "or be confined to a bed." He met Gareth's gaze. "All our thoughts go with Arnen. The Force is with him."

Gareth's false geniality fled and he nodded. His eyes were haunted. "Thank you, Obi-Wan." He gave them a half-bow before disappearing into the lift.

'And there goes some of the small toll that leads to unending pain among us," Obi-Wan said. "To lose a loved one or friend in battle is hard; to be away from them and know they're in harm's way is hard, too." He got the chair moving. "I promised the doctors I'd be back in our quarters before sunset. That's only two hours away."

Anakin walked beside him with his head down. "Do you think you'll want to talk to her that long?"

"I don't know. But I have Bant to talk with still, and Nela and Ferus. So many others." But he halted the chair and swung it around so that he faced Anakin. He made it rise and Anakin saw his eyes burn with an intensity that could have been mistaken for fever. "Our job among ourselves is to keep morale high. We've become an army, like it or not. Woe to all Jedi who have lived to see these days."

"But once General Grievous is captured, this war will end."

"Perhaps."

Anakin winced. It had been a long time since he'd seen Obi-Wan looking so tired.

"Whatever happens with the war, the Darkness will continue to rise. Nothing- or nothing I can see- can prevent the breaking of the Jedi." He turned his head. "And it's the truth, Padme, so you can come out." His smile softened his words and when she came around the corner, she smiled back, though she looked a little embarrassed to be caught.

"I didn't want to interrupt." She stood before him (Anakin caught her eye for a moment then it was Obi-Wan who commanded her attention) and bowed slightly. "Are you all right?"

She looked more nervous now. Anakin moved to her side and touched her arm.

She glanced at him, blushing a little, then back at Obi-Wan.

"I'll be well soon enough," the master said. "But you need to talk. Let's go to your quarters."

She nodded and started that way. Anakin walked beside her, leaving Obi-Wan to bring up the rear.

Anakin glanced back his lover once, but Obi-Wan made a shooing gesture- go! I'm fine- and he turned back. He took Padme's hand and though they'd promised not to be seen as 'together', she held on with surprising strength. He murmured, "Did something new happen?"

"Yes." Her grip tightened.

When they were in her rooms, she locked the door before going to the couch and sinking down onto it. Her hands were shaking a little and when Anakin sat beside her, she took his hand again.

Obi-Wan used the Force to push the coffee table that stood in front of the couch out of the way and he took her other hand. "Padme, talk to us."

She looked from him back to Anakin. "I can feel them kicking. The minute the Dark Force left me alone, they stirred and I think…" She blushed. "It feels as if they've done four months' of growth in a few hours." She rested her hand against her stomach. When she pressed her dress down in that way, it was easy to see that she was pregnant. "And yet four months' growth isn't enough for me to feel them kicking." She laughed and some of her self-consciousness fled. "This must seem normal to both of you: unexplained things happening because of the Force. But it's not normal to me. Not yet."

"It's only normal to us because we grew up with it," Anakin said. "Having that much 'time' pass in a few minutes can't be comfortable. Are you in pain?"

She shook her head. "None at all." She smiled. "I might not have even noticed as soon as I did if I hadn't decided to take a bath. I'm not usually that unaware of my body, but I was filled with so much peace once I came into these rooms that at first I had a little trouble thinking about the Dark Force's attack."

"That's a combination of the Force's work and being surrounded by so many Jedi," Obi-Wan said. He released her hand. "Padme, can I touch you?"

She blinked, blushed, and then nodded. Her grip had relaxed on Anakin's hand while she spoke; now it tightened once more. "You're not going to hurt me, Master Kenobi." Her voice lifted up at the end, making it almost a question.

"Never," he said and his gaze was unfailingly gentle. He touched her abdomen with first the tips of his fingers, then his whole hand. "Anakin," he said, and he caught Anakin's hand in his. "Do you feel it?"

If he meant the low, pleasant hum that was almost a vibration and almost a song, Anakin felt it. His body began to hum on the same frequency and he closed his eyes. Padme's hand in his began to hum, too, and he heard her gasp.

"What is it?" she whispered.

"What you're feeling is the Force as it is felt by your babies. The medi-chlorians feel it. Breathe it. And you're consciously feeling the Force for the first time- the whole Force." He was smiling; hat much was obvious in his voice. When Anakin peeked at him, he saw more: Obi-Wan's eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"They are the salvation of the Light, part of what will strike the balance," Obi-Wan continued. "They are the hope for the future and all the promise we need." He squeezed Anakin's hand. "You are still the Chosen One, Anakin; that's never going to change. Bu these younglings are going to help you."

"Do you see how?" Padme asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Not yet. But what they do will seem to many to be no less than a miracle." He took her hand again and for a moment the humming continued just as strongly. Then, by degrees, it faded until all was stillness between them. "They are beautiful, your Luke and Leia. So beautiful." He pulled his hand from Anakin's and wiped his eyes. "Forgive me."

Padme smiled. "You're allowed." She let go of Anakin's hand and took both of Obi-Wan's in hers.

For an instant, he was jealous. It was like she was having the babies with Obi-Wan instead of with him. Then he called himself an idiot and the worst kind of fool. The jealousy went. Only then was he able to see how afraid she still was. He said, "There's nothing to be afraid of. You'll be safe. I promise. We won't let anything happen to you or to the babies."

"I know. Carrying babies is still new to me. And to have them grow so fast…It's a little frightening. Have either of you-? Of course you haven't."

"Experienced quick growth?" Obi-Wan asked. "No, but-"

"I did," Anakin said and he told her all that Yoda had told him. "I don't remember it," he finished, "but I think you're feeling nothing different than my papa did."

She was gaping at him and when he glanced at Obi-Wan, he saw a wry smile playing about the older man's mouth. "You didn't know Yoda was my papa," he said.

"Or that you're born of the Force just like Annie."

"I was born of the _whole_ Force," Anakin said. "That's why the Force could choose what gender to make me."

"So you're stronger than she is."

"That would be the assumption but no assumption's safe," Obi-Wan said. "Anakin is the Chosen One, bringing balance to the Force his destined task, but few other things are so pre-destined or sure." He bore down gently on her hands. "Anakin is strong; never doubt it. But strength has little to do with it. He's wiser, better trained, and more focused."

The praise made Anakin glow but he kept his feelings to himself as well as he could. "Annie's still only a child. But she's growing faster than is natural. The Dark Force can help her do that. So she'll soon be my age." What he didn't say was that it would be easier to fight her without having to think of her as a child. And maybe it would be easier for Obi-Wan to let her go if she looked less like a little doll.

"We've talked enough about her for now. Padme, would you like us to escort you back to your senatorial suite? I think the Dark Force has abandoned the idea of attacking you for now. We can plant a sensor in your apartment that will monitor levels of Dark Force so that you- and we- will know if another attack is tried. It's not my intention to send you back before you're ready but if you are…"

"I am." She stood, releasing his hands. "I've never felt so much…life in me. The Force was singing."

"Sometimes it does that." Obi-Wan chuckled and backed his chair away from the couch. He moved the table into place. "If you concentrate, you'll be able to feel and hear the Force without our help."

_As if I did anything,_ Anakin thought. Obi-Wan glanced at him and the younger man blushed. He'd been overheard.

"I need to visit a few Jedi before retiring for the night," the master said. "Anakin, will you accompany Padme back to her apartment?"

Anakin went to Obi-Wan, knelt, and met his gaze. _How long has the bond been back? And why, when I can sense so many other things, didn't I sense it?_

_I think you can answer the second question. As to the first, for only about three minutes. Whoever was interfering with us finally gave up._ He touched Anakin's arm. _Don't be hard on yourself. And remember: I love you. After the Force, my devotion is to you. Please don't be jealous._

Anakin stared down at Obi-Wan's hand. _I keep taking steps back._

_You've been doused in the Dark Force for nearly six hours. Not only did you not lose your temper but you caught your jealousy and released it, time and again. I'm proud of you. Please stop being so hard on yourself._

_I can't afford mistakes. Not this close to the end._

_Neither can you afford to beat yourself up._

Anakin snorted; he couldn't help it. "I love you, Obi."

"And I you." Obi-Wan drew back. "Now that we've been exceedingly rude by holding our own private conversation, I suggest that you and Padme get going and I'll do the same." He smiled up at Padme. "Forgive us. Some things just can't wait."

She smiled. "It's all right." She came to him. "Can I touch you?"

He nodded.

She bent and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for all you do." She straightened and turned to Anakin. Before he could stop her- or have an instant to feel jealous- she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you both."


	53. Planning

Five Years (Planning)

Five Years (Planning)

The chimes surprised him out of his meditation and Ferus pushed himself up out of the lotus position. He'd gone very deep and he thought maybe the chimes had sounded more than once before he heard them. That wasn't the safest way to meditate, especially with things as they were now. Once his mission started, he wouldn't be able to do it at all. He breathed in, waited, let it out. Then he crossed to the door and touched the panel beside it.

The doors parted and he was startled enough to let a little of it show. "Master Kenobi." The man was in a hover-chair and though his leg was bandaged, he seemed well. "Are you all right?"

"Well enough. Ferus, may we talk?"

The knight cleared the way. "Do I need to lock the door?"

"I'm not sure. I wish I could say no."

Ferus locked the door before moving towards the kitchen. "Do you want tea?"

"I doubt I'll be here long enough for it but I'd love some."

Ferus started the pot. With his back to Obi-Wan, he said, "You're not here to talk about my mission, are you?"

"Not specifically but I am here to check on you, see how you are and if you need anything. So if you want to talk about the mission, I'll listen."

"You were always the best one to talk to. You always had listening down to an art." He set cups and saucers on a tray. "What happened to your leg?"

"I was shot. It's not serious; I'll be on my feet by tomorrow or the next day. Ferus, can we skip the trivialities?"

He could hear Obi-Wan moving around in the common room. He didn't turn. "It's not trivial. I was worried. I want to make sure you're all right. Just because I haven't had time to check up on you doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you." He felt unsteady, like he was walking on quicksand. It had been years since he'd felt so awkward around Obi-Wan. He and Anakin had been padawans the last time he'd felt the need to be so formal.

"Fair enough. And you deserve more than a pre-packaged answer." He came into the kitchen and Ferus turned to face him. Obi-Wan's eyes were clear, sparkling blue-green and lit with the Force. Ferus wouldn't have believed he could see something so omnipresent among the Jedi in just a look, but he saw it in the master's gaze. "I've become an even greater target as of late," Obi-Wan said. "The Separatists and the Dark Force seek me. They're working together- Sidious and Grievous, I mean- and I can see my death coming. It's not a sure thing, not destiny, but I sense it coming nonetheless. If I'm lucky, I'm wrong, but I need to ask a favor of you."

"You want me to check up on Anakin every now and then?"

"Yes." Obi-Wan smiled. "He's past the time when he can-" He stopped. Frowned "What? You can't check on him, can you?"

Ferus sighed. It was a good thing he hadn't been trying to hide his emotions. He would have failed miserably. "No. I'm going to be kicked out of the Jedi." He held up a hand to forestall any exclamation but none came. He should have known Obi-Wan better. "I'm going to be sent deep into the Senate. Spying's going to be my goal for the next…Well, however long the Council determines. Eventually I'm supposed to get close to the chancellor if I can but I don't know if we're going to have the time for that. I'll be reporting to the Council's appointed informant- another 'failed Jedi' who's already left the Order in disgrace."

"I've heard nothing of it."

"It happened about a month ago. I think you were completely absorbed with Anakin." He meant no insult and saw Obi-Wan understood this.

"I was. Who leftt?"

"Arnen."

"Does Gareth know he wasn't truly kicked out?"

"He knows, I know, the Council knows, and now you know. We're the only ones." The pot whistled and he turned to it. He felt a sad smile tugging at his lips. "Qui-Gon taught me the joys of a teapot."

"That's his way."

"How was he when you saw him?"

"Strong, healthy and deep in the Force. I don't know when he'll come back to Temple but I believe we'll both see him again." A pause. "And who told you he's alive?"

"Anakin. I asked him a few days ago. I just had this feeling. He confirmed it." He poured out. "Cream or sugar?"

"A little of both if you would." Obi-Wan chuckled. "Anakin gave me a bit of a sweet tooth a few years back and I haven't been able to shake it. Qui-Gon would be amused."

Ferus prepared both cups and took them to the table. He moved a chair so Obi-Wan could come right up to the table. He handed the master a cup. "So my mission's going to take me away from Temple or I'd look in on Anakin. Are you worried about him? Apart from this feeling you have?"

"Not for any specific reason but only because he still hasn't confronted Reeft's death and I don't want my death to come on top of that." He sipped a little from his cup before setting it on the table. "How are _you_ handling it?"

"I miss him. But…I'm all right. I didn't know about it until a week after he'd died and I didn't learn the details all at once. Master Bant told me once I began to heal. I haven't been at Temple much in the last two years. I only came back a week ago in response to this mission."

"What are you going to do to get yourself dismissed from the Order?"

"Well, I considered pretending to kill someone but I didn't think that would be believed. Maybe I'll just end up leaving instead of being dismissed."

Obi-Wan took up his cup again. "What if you were to feel the call of the Dark Force and respond to it?"

Ferus frowned. "I don't understand." He pushed his tea away as his stomach knotted. "Isn't that the same as choosing to leave?"

Obi-Wan shook his head.

"What are you thinking, Master?"

"I'm more a target now that I was when you and I first met. The Dark Force and the Separatists want me dead. And while both Sidious and anyone else who has any clue to my history-"

"You think Darth Sidious knows what's happened to you? As in everything?"

"He's the one who sent Xanatos to capture and break me. How much Xanatos told him is beyond my knowledge but it's a sure thing that the Sith thinks it knows how best to hurt me." Obi-Wan drained his cup and wrapped his hands around it. "If you were to become frustrated at the Jedi's way of handling the war: catering to the Senate and protecting 'injured and weak Jedi' instead of doing more to find and defeat Grievous, you'd have a good reason to leave. Most Jedi who leave the Order do so because they think they're going to do some good in the galaxy."

Ferus's heart was beating very fast; he worked to slow it.

"You'd want to cause a disturbance in the temple so you could leave and also make it obvious that you're fed up with the coddling and pacifying being practiced here."

"You sound like Count Dooku! That's the sort of rhetoric he used to spout over the HoloNet."

"I'm taking a page from his book. You'd even have precedent and respect in your favor. You'd be angering the Chosen One and making it obvious that you'd done it to shake him personally as well as the Jedi collectively. And you'd show you're not afraid of him or what he might do someday."

Now he understood what Obi-Wan was suggesting and the knot in his stomach cinched tight. "I wouldn't really have to rape you, would I?"

"No, but you'd have to be found 'just after the act' and preferably by someone who both couldn't stop you and who would be believed at once."

"You'd turn the whole Order against me."

"Aren't they against Arnen?"

Ferus nodded, sighed. "I knew this was going to come. I just didn't think it would be so…" But he could see the worth of Obi-Wan's plan. And yet… "You'd accept being labeled weak again?"

"Why not? The Force knows who I really am and I know it as well. That's all I need."

"Would you explain it to Anakin?" Ferus laughed; he was sweating. He breathed in and out a few times until he felt calmer. This was so insane it just might work but that didn't mean he wasn't scared out of his mind. He called on the Force and released his fear into it. Then he felt a little better. "I don't want him chasing me all over the galaxy and getting in my way. I have to disappear into the Senate."

"Very soon, Anakin's going to be busy somewhere off Coruscant, I'm sure. But of course we'd include him in this. And whoever's to catch you in the act. I'd vote for a youngling. One who's been kept more in the loop than out."

"A _youngling_? Obi-Wan, is that…?" He couldn't think of what to say.

"Woda could do it. He's close to Anakin, he's inherited or absorbed much of what Yoda and Mace have to give and he could be counted on to panic realistically." Obi-Wan offered him a gallows smile. "He's quite the actor. Just like his brother."

"Does it have to be a youngling? What about a padawan?"

"Do you know one who can be counted on to freeze realistically, keep the secret afterwards, even from his or her dearest friends, and be above the Sith's suspicion of being part of a plot? Woda's mostly an unknown. If the Sith knows anything of him, it's that he tried to defend me against Annie."

"He's not even a year old!"

"He's a little over a year and he's like Yoda was at his age: his mind is that of a ten-year-old human child. Ferus, it will work. I don't like using a youngling any more than you do, but we'll make sure he sees nothing but torn clothes and a little blood. That'll be enough." He moved his chair around the table until he was close to Ferus. "We have a chance to trade on the Sith's opinion of me. If the Sith Lord knows more than we've suspected, he might know how you used to view me and even about your old rivalry with Anakin. We can trade on so much bad water it would be foolish not to take this opportunity."

Ferus's mouth was dry. "And you're all right with this?"

"What do I care how I'm seen? By anyone, including any senators or civilians who get wind of this?"

"Some people must count on you. Think of how many came to the pyre when we commemorated Qui-Gon's death. You were surrounded. Bant and Reeft told me."

"Those who know me well enough to attend such a ceremony won't be fooled. They've seen me at my strongest. Ferus, tell me why you're so against this."

"It makes my skin crawl! You're talking about playing a rape victim like it's no big deal! Obi-Wan, you might be comfortable with that vision of yourself but-"

Obi-Wan seized his hands and gripped them so hard he made little white moons above Ferus's knuckles. "Hear me, Qui-Gon's padawan, Reeft's padawan, honored knight: you're getting ready to leave the Order, destroy your reputation, and you're worried about me acquiring a little more dirt under my nails. What's wrong with that picture?" He bore down even more. "_And _you're assuming I see myself that way, not that I'm trading on a misrepresentation of myself."

"I don't see you that way. I'm sorry if that's what it sounded like. I just can't imagine you being comfortable with the image."

"If it helped you accomplish your mission and didn't damage my own- which this won't- I'd let the galaxy think I was blowing every Jedi and Separatist from here to the Outer Rim. Or killing younglings in the name of the Force. I'd never do either of those things but who cares what everyone else thinks?" He relaxed his grip on Ferus's hands and his voice gentled. "Ferus, long ago you accepted that you'd never be admired by everyone. It ceased to be one of your desires years and years before you became a knight. Please allow that I've made that same growth."

Ferus bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Master Kenobi. It's not that I didn't think you were still letting others' opinions bother you but that I hate how the Dark Side has painted you."

Obi-Wan's voice didn't get louder; it might have been easier for Ferus to accept if the master had shown a little frustration. "Fuck the Sith Lord and whatever opinions he may believe. The Dark Side can be deceived as much as It deceives and that's a blessing I won't ignore. Will you let me help you? This may even make the Sith Lord think less of Anakin, see him as half-cocked and so not as dangerous. And it may do wonders for the damage I'm allowed to do to the Separatists' plans."

"All right." He sighed. "We should do this as soon as possible."

"I'll discuss it with Anakin tonight and the attack can happen tomorrow."

"And if there's a spy here at Temple, the same one who jammed communications this morning? What if he or she saw you come in here to talk to me?"

"It's common knowledge- at least among the Jedi who were here when I was a padawan- that I've 'never been able to tell who's a potential rapist'. I'm going to visit Bant, Nela and Master Cro tonight, if I get a chance, so my seeing you won't seem strange. And in any case, maybe you'll get the idea from talking to me tonight. Anything can be painted in our favor as long as we don't try to plan every detail." He sat back in his chair and released Ferus's hands. "The older I get, the more I agree with what Qui-Gon had to teach." He turned his chair towards the common room. "And now I should go."

Ferus stood and followed him to the door. "When should I come to your quarters? That _is_ where you want to do this, right?"

"Yes. Come at ten in the morning. That's Anakin's usual flying-time when we're at Temple." He glanced over his shoulder and Ferus was shaken by the ferocity of his gaze. "Make sure you keep your shields up tomorrow. I'm going to be projecting terror and pain and images of blood as loudly as I can and you can't be seen to react to them. Don't be worried about your escape or about anyone else interfering. I'll make sure we won't be interrupted and that you'll have a sure way of escape."

Ferus took two steps forward and dropped to one knee at Obi-Wan's side. "You're afraid."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said and he smiled. "Just because I'm willing to do this doesn't mean I like it. I was doing a good impression of accepting it, though, so you'd agree. I'm sorry; I don't want to trick you but you were so hesitant- for a very good reason- that I didn't want to give you any other reasons to be worried. I can take care of myself, Ferus. I'm a big boy." He smiled again and managed to look comfortable and abashed at the same time.

"No wonder they're calling you the Negotiator from here to Naboo to Corellia and back." Ferus stood. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night."

"Good night."

When Obi-Wan was gone, Ferus turned back to his meditation. He'd have to pack a small bag soon and make sure that it (he grimaced) contained a sex toy or two to make his attack on Obi-Wan look convincing. For now, he needed to meditate so badly that his legs almost shook. _Force be with me._

oOo

Obi-Wan watched Master Cro walked to the door. He was sitting on the couch with another cup of tea. The hover-chair stood nearby; he'd left it to stretch a little and though he'd barely stood on his leg for more than half a minute, he'd sensed the healing limb would hold him strongly by the day after next. It might have happened tomorrow butt Ferus might have to do some physical things to him- pushing, et cetera- and he would surely have to lay in a position that would undo some of the progress he'd made.If, like the faked rape, it got things accomplished, what did it matter that he'd be laid up for another day? He'd even have an 'excuse' to obey the medic's orders.

Ah, but how was he going to trick the medics into thinking he'd been raped? Force, why hadn't he thought of that until now? There was no way he'd ask Ferus to come even half so close to him as that.

"Master, please forgive my intrusion, but it's time Master Kenobi was in bed."

Obi-Wan called his chair closer and slipped into it. "I was just leaving, Doctor, but thank you for coming to check on me."

"You didn't make it easy, Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan touched his communicator, saw it was dead- had that happened when he was on Grievous's ship? Almost surely- and smiled ruefully. "Well, I'll have to make sure I look after my equipment in the future. My apologies, Doctor."

The medic sighed. "I've been ordered to escort you back to your quarters."

And this was a high-ranking healer. "Of course, Doctor." He offered Master Cro a half-bow from his chair. "Thank you for the tea."

She nodded. "Sleep well, young Maser Kenobi. You need your rest."

His message had been received: she would convey all to the Council in the morning and everything would be set up and arranged long before Ferus showed up. Obi-Wan gave her another half-bow and followed the doctor out. When the door was closed, he asked, "Who asked you to hunt me down, Doctor?"

"Master Yoda."

"Ah. Again, I'm sorry to have caused you so much trouble." They had reached the lift and Obi-Wan slipped into the car first.

"I will be on hand for your annual exam."

"I completed my annual last-"

"It needs to be done again." He was staring very hard at Obi-Wan. "I'll see you tomorrow noon."

Obi-Wan processed that. "Of course." So, Ferus had talked to Yoda. How much did this doctor know? Surely enough to know what he was supposed to report. Obi-Wan considered the man for a moment. "You helped tend me after the incident with ber'Nac."

"And when you returned from Telos. You'll be well-tended."

No doubt; he disapproved. Obi-Wan didn't other to explain. Let the man draw his own conclusions just as so long as he kept his mouth shut. And if Yoda trusted him, surely he would. _And I'm becoming too suspicious. That way lies misunderstandings, separations, and madness._ "Thank you for all you've done for me in the past, Doctor. The Jedi are lucky to have you on their side and so am I."

The doctor nodded. The lift had opened and he stepped out, holding the door for Obi-Wan. When the master was out, he said, "If you hurt your leg much more you'll be incapacitated for a week. Please keep that in mind."

"I will." They reached Obi-Wan's quarters and the master offered the doctor a half-bow. "Again, thank you." He lowered his voice and when he spoke his lips scarcely moved. "And trust this is in accordance with the Force."

The doctor nodded. "I was asked to make sure you actually go inside."

The door opened. Anakin stood there.

Obi-Wan smiled. "I'm going." He passed into the common room and the doors closed behind him. He nodded that Anakin did not lock the door and that was well and right. "I'm only half an hour late," he said.

Anakin crouched and scooped Obi-Wan into his arms. "Come on. Let's get you into the 'fresher and then into bed. You need to rest." His face was closed and his mind was closed.

"Are you angry with me?" He wrapped one arm around Anakin's neck.

"No. I'm a little annoyed because you're putting yourself in danger again, but I know enough to understand it's not really danger. Ferus would never hurt you." Anakin kissed his cheek. "I just hate it, Obi. I've talked to Yoda and Mace and they think it's for the best and just because they're right doesn't mean I have to like it."

"No one involved likes it. If we did, we'd be either fools or sadists and none of us are that." He leaned his head against Anakin's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Beloved. I wouldn't have suggested this if I'd seen a better way."

"I know." He hugged Obi-Wan tight against him. "I love you and hate anything even half this sick happening to you."

What else had Yoda told Anakin? Or Ferus Yoda? "We have to talk about some dreams you used to have."

Anakin entered the bathroom and used the Force to activate the 'fresher. "I don't want to talk about any of my dreams right now. Yoda and Mace said I'd most likely be sent on a far-off mission after you're 'discovered' by Woda. Not that I'll want to go, and the rumor won't be spread that I ranted to the Council. But I'm needed in connection with a growing Separatist presence on several Core Worlds. My mission's simple: convince the Separatists to take their droid armies home. I'll be taking a thousand clone troops with me." He hugged Obi-Wan again. "Forget all my reasons that I want to stay except this one: do you think I'm ready to go without my external balance?"

"I know what I think but if I answer too quickly maybe you'll doubt later. So tell me what you think first." He kissed Anakin's throat. "I'm sorry this is so hard."

"I think I'm ready unless something really bad happens. Like Ferus actually rapes you. I can't promise I won't lose it if something like that happens." He shifted Obi-Wan so that the master stood on his feet and Anakin held him up with his arms about his waist. "I might be able to go on as the Chosen One; that's actually a possibility now. You've helped me grow. But I'm just as likely to swing the other way."

"Know two things, Beloved: I will never give up on you and Ferus would never hurt me. I promise: nothing terrible will happen to me tomorrow. And Woda won't see anything to scar him."

Anakin nodded. "I was worried about that when Yoda and Mace first told me but when Woda heard it he accepted everything with complete composure. He knows what he's supposed to do and that you won't really be hurt." He moved an inch closer and Obi-Wan met him, mouth open, tongue searching. When Anakin drew back, his body had started to burn. "I'll do everything I can to stay on the Light Side." He kissed Obi-Wan again, chastely this time. "Do you think I'll be all right without my external balance?"

"I have complete faith in you." He pushed closer and wrapped his arms around Anakin. "Shall we end our day how we began it?"

"After we dunk you under the 'fresher. Your leg's got to be stiff; the warmth will do you good." Anakin grinned and his voice roughened. "And we'll get a little foreplay started."

oOo

Anakin woke around midnight. He lay perfectly still for several moments, drawing on the peace around him. Spooned against him, Obi-Wan was fast asleep beside him; his chest rose and fell rhythmically under Anakin's hand. The scent of Obi-Wan's freshly-washed hair mingled with the heady smell of what they'd been doing before they drifted off. "I love you, Obi," he whispered.

"Love you, too." Obi-Wan caught Anakin's hand lightly in his own. To hear him, anyone would have thought he was fully awake and had been for some time.

Anakin knew better. This was the I'm-asleep-but-awake-in-the-Force talk crafted by masters with troublesome padawans. Anakin grinned to hear it. His lover was conscious of what he was saying and what was being said to him, but he was just above deeply asleep. "The Force wants me to check on Padme. I'll be back."

Obi-Wan was more awake now: he stirred. "Do you need or want me with you?"

"And have the doctors howling 'bad Jedi, bad Jedi, why can't you stay in bed for a single night'?" He laughed. "I'll be all right. Your repaired comlink is on the nightstand. I'll call if I need anything." He kissed Obi-Wan's ear. "You do the same."

"I will. May the Force be with you."

"And with you. Beloved." Anakin blushed. It sounded so much less… cheesy… when Obi-Wan said it. "I should be back in a few hours. Don't lay awake waiting for me."

"All right." Obi-Wan brought Anakin's hand to his lips, kissed it. "Remember: impulsive and talented knights need their sleep, too."

Anakin slipped out of bed and dressed soundlessly. He smiled when he saw that Obi-Wan had gone back to sleep. He was trusted. Grinning to himself, he left their quarters.

oOo

"Anakin, I want to have our babies back home, on Naboo. My world is still loyal to the Republic and the Dark Force wouldn't think to look there." Padme crossed her arms and stared out over the city-at-night: darkness above and all sorts of lights below. She was cold but she didn't step in out of the breeze. The chill wouldn't hurt the babies and she didn't think it was a real chill in any case, only her mind playing tricks on her.

"Why? You were so sure you'd rather stay here."

She shivered. "You're going to be gone and Obi-Wan's going to be gone."

"We're not the center of the Jedi." He was leaning in the balcony doorway. When she'd invited him out, he'd said he didn't want to get too close, that she seemed to want, at least for now, to stand alone.

She hadn't argued but was honest with herself enough to admit, silently, that she wanted his arms around her. So she hugged herself instead. "I know. And that's not the real reason. I'm afraid and this time it isn't the Dark Force doing it. He was so intense. At the Jedi Temple. He cried, Anakin. I've never seen… I never thought I would see him cry. I know he's not the myth that you've both become to the HoloNet but I never thought…"

"He feels the final coming battles more strongly than many Jedi. And…"

She faced him. He'd looked at peace when he came to her and when she'd teased him about 'getting more than a peaceful hug' from Obi-Wan, he'd laughed and said he'd enjoyed every minute of their 'peace-seeking'. Now he looked worried. She asked, "What is it?"

"Obi wants children. He's always wanted children. Lindi Jinn-Kenobi died before she was born and Annie Jinn-Kenobi has turned to the Dark Side."

"From what you said, she was made of the Dark Side."

"It's not my place to judge," he said, "but I personally think everyone can make the choice about what to serve themselves."

"It's harder for some than others."

He nodded. "I know. And I hate judging; it does nothing but cause hurt feelings. And much worse. But Obi won't give up on the thought that she can be saved and I don't know what to say to that except that I feel she'll never come back to the Light Side. She's like Sidious."

"And what do you know about Sidious?"

"Nothing." He sighed. "Not his age, where he grew up or if his mother called him Jo-Jo or Brezilkah." A small smile. "But his way lies death. I know that and it's all I need to know right now. As for Annie, I know everything about her, even her confused parentage, and I can't see how she could turn from the Jedi when she's been given so many opportunities and so much love."

"Sometimes, what we see as love is seen as duty to others. Maybe she never felt loved."

"Obi's prepared to keep trying and keep trying until she's dead or- No, that's the only way, I think. He won't label her unreachable until he's tried everything that's in him." He came to her and took her hands. "He wants a chance to have a child of his own."

"Lindi was a simple miscarriage? There was no external force that made him lose her?"

"None."

"And Annie wasn't his." She nodded to herself. "He wants a child that's completely his own. Is he… No, not jealous. He sees what he could have and he wishes for it but not in a vindictive or destructive way." She pulled her hands from his and gripped his shoulders. "You'll have children, the two of you, after this war's over."

Anakin shook his head. "There was this Taubese prince: Ni is what Obi called him. He said that as long as Obi was with me and as long as his first duty was to the Force, he wouldn't have children."

"And who's he to say what will or won't happen?"

He smiled. "No one, I guess, but I think he's right and Obi thinks the same. His being with me really has nothing to do with it: it's following the Force that won't let him have children. At least not for the foreseeable future."

Silence between them then. Padme walked inside, towards her bedroom. She heard Anakin close the balcony doors. "Why did you come here?"

"The Force called me. It didn't say you were in danger."

Padme heard the smile in his voice.

"Which is why I didn't come in swinging." He joined her where she'd inadvertently stopped: by the couch. "And you wanted to talk about Obi, so it's good I came." He tried to take her hand and when she pulled away, knotting her hands over her belly, he stepped in front of her and tried to catch her eye. "What's wrong?"

She turned from him and gripped the back of the couch with one hand. "I feel lonely, that's all. I never dreamed of having children by myself. And this is by myself no matter how much you and Obi-Wan are here for me. I don't love either of you like I always assumed I would love the father of my children." She turned so that she could sit on the arm, facing away from the couch. He stood on her left now and she refused to meet his gaze. "The Force asks a lot of me and I give it because you're both so sure and because I know in my heart that it's the right thing to do, but… Do you remember when we were on Naboo and you asked me if there had been any love in my life?"

"You told me about another student in a higher class."

When she peeked at him, she saw he stood at parade rest. If Obi-Wan had been there, he would have told her this meant Anakin was trying very hard not to pace. Padme could see the strain in his hands for herself. "I'm not too old to be deciding that I want to find someone but things have gone too far as far as the Force is concerned."

He caught her hand. "You think you're going to die? Or that you're not going to get a chance to fall in love, that you'll be in hiding so deep there'll be no chance."

"Death is more likely." She pulled her hand free of his. "I don't want to talk about this. Isn't it the Jedi who say that very few things are written in stone? I shouldn't be thinking about this right now. It's a waste."

"Anything that bothers you isn't a waste." He stood again at parade rest. "I don't know what to tell you about wanting someone else. If you were a Jedi, I'd tell you to wait on the Force." He laughed a little. "Well, _Obi _would tell you that. I'd probably try to make things happen in my own time and it would probably blow up in my face."

Padme smiled; she couldn't help herself. "I need to sleep. Tomorrow I'll think about this again."

He nodded. "All right. The Force still wants me to stay; I'll sleep out here."

"I think we're adult enough to share a bed without discomfort."

That gave him pause; she saw it in his face. "All right."

oOo

Padme was asleep in only a few minutes. Anakin had stripped off his outer robe, his tunic and his boots. Now he lay on his back, breathing the darkness and the silence. He reached towards the Temple and felt Obi-Wan's sleeping mind. He touched his lover's mind and got a sleepy, _Are you all right?_

_Yes,_ Anakin sent. _I'm going to stay here until I know why I'm supposed to be here. Any trouble there?_

_None._ A yawn and a wave of deep-sleep laughter. _I'll see you in the morning._ A pause and his humor vanished. _And whatever's keeping you from sleeping, let it go. Tomorrow's going to be a rough day. And don't worry about me: I won't be hurt. Neither will Woda. I'm going to be broadcasting some… intense… feelings. Remember the time we have now: I'm fine and I'll _be_ fine. Do you believe me?_

He searched his heart as well as he could. _Yes. I'm worried, but…_ But his concern was less and it had been his worry for the next day's 'play' that had been keeping him from sleep. He yawned. _Good night, Obi._

_Good night. _Drifting again; he was falling into deeper sleep._ I love you._

Anakin felt the brush of lips across their connection and returned the kiss. _I love you, too. _And he slept.

Several hours later, when the sun was two hours from its rise, he dreamed.

oOo

At first, everything around Anakin was a swirl of darkness. Taking a page from Reeft's book, he tried to direct the dream, first through the 'what does my mind want to tell me' angle and, when that didn't work, 'I want to dream about Obi'. He got his second wish. But not the way he wanted.

The darkness began to dissipate; it went like ink on slow-moving water. First he saw Obi-Wan's hand- he reached for his lover- and then it was charred. Anakin cried out, but the darkness rushed back and the hand disappeared. He thought he might hear Obi-Wan scream but the silence that had started the dream continued.

Again he tried Reeft's two tactics of direction dreaming. Nothing changed. He tried to wake himself up. Nothing. He called for Obi-Wan through their connection; there was no way to tell if the message went outside his own mind. He would have panicked but this had happened once before. Before he was even a padawan, the Force had led him through dreams of Obi-Wan's past. This wasn't quite like that but he didn't sense the Dark Force and he remembered how Obi-Wan had talked him through those old memories. This was just a dream.

The darkness parted again and Obi-Wan, shockingly younger, stood by a window. Anakin couldn't see the room in which his lover stood but he could see the look on Obi-Wan's face: alertness so sharp he must sense a strong disturbance in the Force.

Anakin moved until he stood behind the older man. He looked out the window and saw a tall, slender being walking below.

"He shouldn't be out there by himself. Doesn't he understand that he's in danger? No, he doesn't. Prince Ni has never been one for common sense or for assuming things won't go his way." Obi-Wan took half a step back and leaned against Anakin. This wasn't a memory, then. "He asked me to marry him when I came here to convince his family to stay with the Republic. His brother, Vi-Lar-Bel, has become king and he has agreed to follow the Republic because I helped save many of his family from spies sent by the Separatists to destroy them. If the family is still loyal to the Republic, Bel le Taube might be a good planet to hide when the final Darkness comes. Not that the planet will be able to escape the depredations that are to follow, but their loyalty is, I think, more to the Jedi than the Republic and that's all right. It will even help."

He turned to face Anakin and a gash above his left eye opened and blood flowed into his eye. He seemed unaware. "I love you. When he asked me to marry him, my only temptation was how he talked about having children and keeping them with us. They wouldn't be sent away because they're not Force-sensitive and wouldn't be taken into Temple for their ability. They would be _ours_, all ours."

Anakin reached up to wipe away the blood. He did this with a sick heart and under his dream-actions, he cried, _I don't want to see this! I want to wake up. Whatever I'm supposed to learn, it can wait._

Obi-Wan caught his hand. "Let it be and listen." A violent shudder passed through him and his shirt started to burn.

"Obi!" Anakin pushed forward, thinking dimly to put the flames out with his own body.

"Stop, Anakin." Voice completely unaffected by pain or anxiety of any type. "Prince Ni will come to Temple and I'll be hurt. You can't let him destroy Ferus's plans. He'll try, Anakin, and for no other reason than he once thought he loved me. Take him with you on your mission. I promise you'll be glad you did." He coughed and a fine spray of blood coated Anakin's face. "If you introduce yourself as my lover, he may be angry, but he needs to know who and what you are, and he already knows your name. Bear his jealousy or misplaced anger with good humor, Beloved. That's all I ask."

Anakin could smell Obi-Wan's roasting skin and he gagged. Again he tried to move forward so he could smother the fire with his body. "Why is this happening to you?"

"I'm going to die. When Padme dies, I will die. You'll be left alone. I hope-" again he coughed, again that crimson spray- "you won't see us die. Make sure the twins live." He staggered backwards, hit the wall, and dropped to his knees. "No, Darth Calus, please!" He put his hands out and fell heavily onto them. His trousers were stripped away by an invisible hand and he began to bleed. "This isn't what you're meant for!" He bowed his head and groaned.

Anakin was frozen. He couldn't get to Obi-Wan or turn his face away or even close his eyes. Duel needs- to scream and to puke- warred inside him and he couldn't give in to either one.

Obi-Wan raised his head and his eyes burned fever-bright. "You're not ruled by your parents, by anything they did to you! I don't care what you suffered, maggot! I was raped as a two-year-old child and I rose above it! Stop using your father's hatred of you as an excuse! Your mother abandoned you? The Force will never do that. Stop blaming your descent on others! _You_ fell into Darkness; _you_ can walk away from it. We're here to help. Just ask, damn it!" Again he groaned. His shirt was almost completely gone, leaving blackened skin behind, and now his hair was burning. "Damn it, Xanatos, come back to the Light! Qui-Gon believes in you, Yoda believes in you, I, your first and last victim, believe in you! If you come back, all might yet be well!"

"Anakin…"

The knight's paralysis didn't break; he was yanked around, away from Obi-Wan, who was coughing again. Anakin stared at the swirling darkness that surrounded Padme. Her sweaty face was twisted in pain. Dimly, he heard a baby's cry.

_Luke or Leia?_ he wondered.

"Anakin, help me please…" Padme sobbed.

Behind him, Obi-Wan screamed and the roar of flames was his agony's counterpoint.

oOo

Anakin sat up, completely awake. His heartbeat raced and he gasped like he'd just come up from a deep dive without a rebreather. The lights from passing cars and the signs and other lights of the city were turned into bands that lay across the bed. For a moment, he found ti ridiculously easy to pretend he was in a prison.

He reached out at once to the Force, and he looked over at the woman asleep beside him. She was at peace and he brushed Obi-Wan's sleeping mind for an instant for drawing back into himself. The last thing he wanted was to wake his lover with irrational fears.

_It's not irrational. It's just more detailed and concrete than you've seen so far. This isn't the first dream you've had about Obi-Wan's death; it's just the most intense. And as for Padme… That's just a combination of your concern for her and the talk about children that you shared before falling asleep._

The voice- his own- strove to sound rational but an undercurrent of hysteria made the words jump and stutter sideways like a skittish beast. In its tones Anakin heard what was trying to be the wisdom Obi-Wan had taught him combined with the knowledge that the last time he'd had a dream so 'intense' it had been about his mother's death. And it had come true. Compared to this dream, his previous dreams about Obi-Wan's death had been nothing. Of course they had frightened him, but they'd mostly ceased over the years and _none_ of them had been like this. Sure, he'd dreamed Obi-Wan was being burned and tortured on some far-off planet and that had terrified and enraged him, but he'd resolved those dreams: Obi-Wan had come back and he was healing, maybe completely healed.

This nightmare… Anakin swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat with his head in his hands for a moment. When his breathing began to slow- through no Jedi practice- he went to the fountain that stood in Padme's set of rooms. He could see the rushing speeders outside and felt a need to take Padme and Obi-Wan far away, probably to Naboo or further, tell them to stay put, then come back and face the rising Darkness alone. They would be so much safer far away from the Core.

"What's bothering you?"

He'd heard her coming, the pat of her bare feet on the faux-stone almost silent. He sighed and looked up at her. "Nothing." It wouldn't help to tell her his nightmare; there was nothing she could do about it. His stomach tightened as he saw again Obi-Wan falling to his hands and knees, his shirt burning away.

He sensed her looking at him and searched for something to distract her, distract them both. He found nothing.

"How long is it going to take for you to be honest with me? I've told you everything, silly or profound, that's gone through my head since we made the twins' start. I know I'm not Obi-Wan, but can't you trust me enough to tell me the truth?"

He saw how much she needed the truth, or thought she did, and hoped he ws doing the right thing by giving in to what he saw. "It was a dream."

"Bad?"

Anakin could either tell her the truth or look at her; he couldn't manage both. He stared at the fountain, not seeing it. "Like the ones I used to have about my mother just before she died."

"And?"

She thought she wanted to hear it. He steeled himself. She deserved to see his eyes for this part; if he was a Jedi, then he should have the ability to face her and give her what she was so sure she wanted to hear. He looked up at her. "And it was about Obi. And you."

The look in her eyes- a little fear, yes, but so much concern for him- made him ashamed. Why that should be he didn't know or, right then, care. He looked away.

"Tell me," she said.

"It was only a dream." He got up and walked past the fountain. Force, but he could remember everything about it; this one wasn't going to fade. He heard Obi-Wan: _When Padme dies, I will die._ He sighed, trying to release his fear into the Force with that breath. None of it went. "You die in childbirth."

"And the babies?" Her hand went to her belly.

If he hadn't been afraid, he would have smiled. She loved the twins, all but Forced on her or not. "I don't know."

"The babies have to live. The Force wants them to live. "Padme came to him. Stopped short of touching him. She was pale in the glimmer of the city lights. "And Obi-Wan?"

"He-" His gorge rose and his swallowed it back. "He burned."

She was trying to comfort him; her hand was on his arm now. "It was only a dream."

"I won't let this one become real." The certainty that he was going to have to fight for what he wanted overwhelmed him.

"These babies will change our lives. I doubt the queen will continue to allow me to sere in the Senate. But the Force knew what it was doing when it brought us together. No matter what happens to me, our children have to survive."

"You sound so much like Obi-Wan." He turned from her and hugged himself. "I can't stand thinking you'll die. The Force gave no guarantees you'll live: either of you. But I won't let you die. If I'm the Chosen One, I should get some repayment for everything I'm going to give up. I don't care if I die, as long as-"

"Maybe you will die. Maybe the Force is going to let Obi-Wan die first to save him the pain of being left alone." She moved close and leaned against him; his arm came around her shoulders naturally. "He's already lost so many and been through so much. The Force might be sparing him."

He was silent, both in the world she could hear and inside his mind, for several seconds. Had he ever thought of what pain Obi-Wan might be spared? Seeing Annie die, maybe, or seeing Qui-Gon die. Or watching Anakin's death, feeling it in the Force, feeling a shock as their bond was not blocked but broken forever. In his mind's eye he saw Obi-Wan's face the one time he, Anakin, had broken their bond: how the older man had been ripped apart by the pain of the separation. How much worse would he feel to lose Anakin to death? Maybe what Anakin had felt when he thought Obi-Wan dead was only a tenth of what Obi-Wan, so much more influenced by the whole Force's tidal pull, would feel if Anakin's life was snuffed out.

Still… "I won't let him burn to death. I'd kill him myself first before allowing that to happen. His scream, Padme…"

When she offered him a full embrace, he accepted. They stood that way for a time and he allowed a few tears to escape. When these passed, he felt marginally better. He drew back and held her gaze. "I love you both. I don't want to lose either of you. And I will do all in my power to protect you from dying in pain. But if it is the Force's will that he die before me…" He couldn't say it and mean it. So he shouldn't say it. And yet he wanted to mean it. What was it Obi-Wan always said? Dedication first to the Force, then to the one he loved. Anakin didn't think he was to that point yet or that he could hope to reach it in his lifetime, but sometimes you could change your innermost heart by speaking what you wanted it to believe. Reeft had taught him that. "I will not interfere."

She kissed his cheek. "I'll help you keep that promise."

He made a fist, touched his chest, then the left side of his neck. "That's the Jedi sign of promise. It's only made when we're vowing to turn away from the way we've been to a new way more in abeyance to the Force. It's nothing we take lightly."

"I see your sign and believe you'll change. And I'll be here to help."

He hugged him close against his chest. "Thank you." Then he drew back. "I need to go. There's going to be some action at Temple tomorrow; I want to make sure Obi and Woda are ready." He smiled. "Mostly Woda. Obi's ready; he refuses to be otherwise."

"What is it?"

"It's best I don't talk about it too much." He squeezed her hands. "Will you be all right here?"

"The Force says you can go?"

He nodded. "I think I was meant to have that dream here, with you. Even though you said many of the things Obi would have said had I been talking to him, hearing them from your lips lends them both his weight and yours." He released her hands. "Good night, Padme. Call if you need me."

"I will."

oOo

"You know what to do?"

Xanatos scowled. "You're not done ordering around, are you, you son of a bitch?"

Qui-Gon didn't stir from where he sat on the edge of the roof. They were half a mile from 500 Republica and he seemed to watch for the sunrise that was still an hour off.

Xanatos asked, "You trust me with this woman I've never met?"

"Not only is she not your usual fare but even if she was so much like Obi-Wan that you could scarcely tell the difference, the Force commands it." He took out his lightsaber hilt and traced its etchings.

"You're trying to hurt me. I already told you about Obi-Wan. You won't get an apology out of me, if that's what you're looking for."

"I don't need an apology from you and neither does he. Some day you might want to give one just to clean your own soul."

Xanatos put one impeccably-polished boot on the roof's ledge. He had changed his clothes only an hour ago and he'd managed to get himself a shower and a trim of his hair. He looked more like a page or a fastidious assassin than the stalker they both were. "Don't play Yoda with me, Qui-Gon. I ceased to think of you as an all-knowing master before I'd known you a week." He glanced at Qui-Gon and took some pleasure in seeing that Qui-Gon's hair still straggled over his shoulders and over the cloak he wore. "What's her name?"

"Padme Amidala."

"And I'm going to see her because…?"

"You'll know when you get there." He'd said as much five or ten or fifty times before but he didn't raise his voice and he didn't turn his gaze from the pondering of the east.

"You're so fucking accepting and complacement. What if I kill her? That would screw with your plans."

"You know, Obi-Wan once asked me why some people swear so much and I told him there were many reasons. But the one that confused him most was this: some men swear because they don't want to use the extensive vocabulary at their disposal."

"I can't believe Obi-Wan would ever ask you something like that," Xanatos fumbled with his lightsaber in its holster then quit when he realized how much discomfort he was giving away with that simple gesture.

"He always believed in seeking knowledge."

"That was because he had no talent."

"Well, the man with no talent has not only trained the Chosen One but has earned the title of Negotiator. Not bad for a child no one wanted." Qui-Gon put his lightsaber away and stood. "Enough. You have to go before dawn."

"What if I stay right here and ruin your plans?"

"Then the galaxy will come to an end none of us, even Sidious, wants." Qui-Gon took out his liquid cable. "I'm leaving. Make sure you're a gentleman: she serves the Force just as you do. And she's better at it, lack of training or not."

"Where will you be?"

"I'll see you at the Dolphin in two days. Make sure you're there." Qui-Gon shot his cable across three lanes of traffic and its end caught on a far building. He turned a kind eye on Xanatos then. "And may the Force be with you."


	54. Step One: The Rape

Five Years (Step One: The Rape)

Five Years (Step One: The Rape)

Anakin woke two hours after dawn. But before he woke, this happened:

oOo

He landed soundlessly on the balcony of the apartment. It was a beautiful, spacious place full of the sound of a low and light fountain. He saw it beyond where she stood, but only because his training among the Jedi had taught him to notice all when his heart only wanted to see one thing: the woman.

Qui-Gon was right: she was nothing like Obi-Wan. Dark curls framed a face so delicate and lovely that he feared to take it between his hands for fear he would bruise her. At the same time, he knew her spirit would have to face days, months, maybe even years of abuse before it was even bruised. She stood against the galaxy and though she knew most of what might come at her, she was unafraid. She stood before the gates of damnation and didn't blink or wince or retreat a single step.

"Who are you and what do you want?"

The silver of her gown accentuated the spark of anger in her eyes and his soul gasped. (He would have berated himself for such a sentimental thought only thirty seconds ago.) Her shoulders were bare and he wanted to touch them as he wanted (and feared) to touch her face.

He bowed to her, not worried about his balance on the narrow railing. "My name is Xanatos. I-"

She retreated several steps before she caught herself. "You're the bastard that raped Obi-Wan." Her voice was soft but not weak. And now she took a step closer, drawing a communicator from a pocket in the gown- a sleeping-gown, he realized. "I'll call Anakin and he'll be here in less than two minutes with half the Jedi Order to back him. I suggest you leave. You'll never touch Obi-Wan again."

He straightened and considered the pros and cons of jumping down from the railing. He'd been closer to her height and that might make her more comfortable but she might be put even more on her guard if he moved closer. "I'm not here for Obi-Wan. Or Anakin Skywalker. Or any Jedi. Do you mind if I step off this railing? I'll lean against it and my back won't lose contact with it while we talk."

She frowned, glanced at the communicator, and put it away. "Fine."

He did as he'd said and when he was resting against the duracrete, he crossed his ankles and tried to look innocent. He was sure he was failing miserably, especially when his gaze flicked to the place where the gown ended above her breasts and revealed her creamy throat as well as her shoulders. He wanted so badly to touch her that he shoved his hands in his pockets. This couldn't- wouldn't- be like Obi-Wan. He wouldn't let that happen again.

He said, "I'm sorry I frightened you. And I'm sorry for whatever you think of me." He allowed himself to shift his feet but didn't lose contact with the balcony. "Qui-Gon sent me." He smiled. If he could win her trust, this would be so much easier. "The Force sent him, if you believe in the Force."

She folded her arms.

Why was he here? Qui-Gon had never been able to order him to do anything. And the Force wasn't some all-knowing thing but a power to be controlled. He'd always know that, even when he was in the Order and surrounded by so many arrogant fools who claimed to hear the Force speak to them. 'Let the Force flow through you' didn't mean 'listen to the Force because it will help your ever-loving _soul_' but 'the Force will enhance your abilities, extend your reach and make you so strong that no one will be able to hurt you'.

"I've bothered you enough, Padme Amidala. I'm going to leave now." He turned, put a hand on the balcony, crouched.

"How do you know my name?"

He glanced over his shoulder. "Qui-Gon gave it to me."

"He's here on Coruscant?"

"Yes."

"Where? Obi-Wan would like to see him."

He spoke without censoring it first and that was so unsual that once the words were out, he was afraid. "Obi-Wan doesn't want to see Qui-Gon because that would interfere with the mission of the Force." He came back to himself and coughed. "If you believe in the Force."

"I can't help but believe. The Force is why I'm pregnant and why my mind was attacked."

He nodded and decided not to ask about the pregnancy. He'd turned back around and was resting against the railing once more. She hadn't said anything when his back lost contact with the duracrete and he wanted to point that out. But more: he wanted to make her smile, so he kept his mouth shut. "That's what it's like for most parents of Force-sensitive children: many don't believe until they see what impossible things their children can do."

"I'm Force-sensitive."

He blinked. "Really?" He hadn't felt her in the Force but he hadn't reached out to check. He'd just assumed… "Who told you that?"

"Master Kenobi."

How strange to hear Obi-Wan called that! But he found that hearing 'Master Kenobi' was easier than hearing 'Obi-Wan'. He'd never been afraid to challenge what he thought or make himself temporarily uncomfortable if it would serve him better in the long run, but he already knew his problem with the red-haired Jedi. Why not ease his heart and mind by playing as simple word game? What harm? "He has been deeply connected to the Force for many years. If he says it, it's probably true."

Her eyes flashed and she put her hand in the pocket that held the communicator. "How can you sasy that after all you've done to him? If you're trying to sound respectful, it's coming across as a lie."

He felt an urge to tell her the first truth: how Obi-Wan's- Master Kenobi's- strength, both in himself and in a Medium that wasn't natural to him, had attracted him. He resisted, choosing instead the second truth. "There is a tool called a Force-collar. When around the neck of a Force-sensitive, it disconnects that person from the Force, both outside and inside themselves. The Force is still there. Most simply cannot access it. Over the centuries since it was first invented, some learned to counteract it with the Dark Force, which relies on controlling the Force like a weapon through emotions. Master Kenobi wasn't the first Jedi to break a Force-collar through use of the Light Force, but he was the first in several decades, probably in as much as a century."

"How did he do it if he couldn't feel the Force?"

"I'm not a Jedi and I'm not Master Kenobi, so I don't know for sure, but my guess is that he operated on trust. It's like a blind person saying 'The door is there even if I can't see it. If I can find the panel beside it, I can open the door.' He believed the Force was still there and somehow his faith made him a little immune to the collar so he could break it from the inside without anger. I had to use drugs- twenty-three of them, actually- to keep him from accessing the Force. That's incredible and a testament to his connection to the Force, so if anyone knows you're Force-sensitive, it's his word I'd believe. His. Yoda's. No other's."

Her hand came out of her pocket. "How is Qui-Gon?"

"Even more inscrutable and impossible than he was when I left the Jedi. And so unflappable I might almost think he had no emotions left if I…" Except he had no reason to believe Qui-Gon was still a feeling being. "If I didn't know him better." He folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes. "He's deeper in the Force than I've ever seen and his passion is cloaked in the Force. His devotion is to the Force. I think he knew about what I was doing to Ob- Master Kenobi on Rojo IV and yet he's never spoken of it or alluded to it or accused or attacked me. He's so deep the Force he's almost not there. Can I ask how Master Kenobi is without making you call every Jedi without ten parsecs?"

"He's fine. He's at peace. He's with Anakin. He loves Anakin. He'll never be taken by you again."

_So everyone's grown in the Force but me._ He squashed the thought. "And Anakin?"

"He's the Chosen One." Her hand strayed ot her belly.

"You're carrying his child. And yet he's with Master Kenobi. Interesting." He could have chewed off his tongue. Why had he said that? She would only- And yes, there she went, pulling out the communicator once more. Xanatos held up his hands. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled-for. Old habits die hard. Whatever the Force wants to do is none of my business." He froze, hands out, eyes locked with hers. He sensed he was close to failing this mission but more; he sensed he was close to losing his chance for something beyond what he'd felt ever before. "Please, Madam Amidala, forgive me. Losing track of my words that way isn't like me. I'm as much under the Force's control as you."

She didn't put the communicator away but she didn't activate it, either.

He didn't- refused to- believe that last sentence but it was working so he kept going. "When the end comes for the Jedi, I'm supposed to help you. Make sure you get where you're supposed to go. Make sure you do what you're supposed to do. Make sure, more than anything, that you stay alive once the Force is done with you."

Her mouth was lovely even when she scowled. "That's what Obi-Wan and Anakin promised. How are _you_ supposed to help protect me? And why would you?"

"The answer to both is 'the Force' and so I give it but I don't believe the Force controls-" And he was blurting again, revealing his lie of only a moment ago. What the hell was wrong with him? When had he lost all of his self-possession? He decided he might stand a better chance if he pretended he was talking to someone besides Padme Amidala, who had worked something almost magical against his nature. So he tried to think of himself as talking to Obi-Wan. There. His heart was beating slower and his shields were rising. He said, "I'll stand with you against the Sith. He wants what he can't have- absolute power- and he wants what no one can ever have: completely sure safety and immunity from death or suffering or even disappointment. Life's not meant to be lived without risks but that's what he wants: absolute control, absolute power, nothing to ever go against his great plan. I believe in chaos and the ability to do anything I want for any reason. I'll protect you for that reason if for no other."

Not all perfectly true, but he'd never directly lied to Obi-Wan or if he had he couldn't remember, so what he'd told her was as close to the truth as he'd ever gotten with anyone. And pretending she was Obi-Wan allowed him to stay in control of his tongue. That much had been accomplished and that much was a lot. For now, he'd make it be enough.

She was silent for several moments. She made the communicator disappear and retreated a few steps. "I haven't slept well this night. Leave. If you want to spout more meaningless garbage, do it in the daylight hours."

"The sun has risen while we've talked."

She scowled again. "Get out. And stay away from Obi-Wan, Anakin and me. None of us want or need your help."

He brushed his cloak over his shoulder to reveal the lightsaber at his side. "This is a Sith's 'saber. If I was here to do harm, I would have already used it."

"The most harm Count Dooku ever did was without a lightsaber. Get out before-"

"You're forced to leave."

He should have sensed the approaching source of Light concentration but he'd been so focused on her, not on feeling her place in the Force but on her body, her mind. Xanatos drew his lilghtsaber and ignited it. The red blade leapt into the air. "Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan strode out onto the balcony with empty hands. He stopped beside Padme and said, "We've got to meet like this more often; on almost-neutral ground. It brings you to a new level of experience and composure." Then, as if Xanatos didn't matter, he turned to Padme. "He wasn't bothering you?"

She shook her head. "It was… a strange conversation. But he didn't threaten me and he kept his word about staying by the railing until you arrived."

"Yes, he has a tendency to forget himself when I'm around."

Xanatos took a step and his pulse jumped up a notch. "You-"

Obi-Wan held up a hand, palm towards Xanatos. He didn't look away from Padme. And she wasn't looking away from him. "It's not all his fault and of course I've reacted differently around him than around others in the past. The Force conspires to work Its will."

Xanatos blurted, "The Force has no-"

"Fundamental differences in doctrine aren't what I'm here to discuss. I have other things which must be tended to this morning." He faced Xanatos and folded his arms. "I'm sure you're here for a reason attendant to what the Jedi are trying to accomplish but the lady has asked you to leave and has respected you enough to tell you why she wants you to leave. And you know she's told the truth. Give her the same courtesy and leave. You may return when the Force calls you or when she said: full daylight. She's had a rough night. Let her rest."

The need to squawk some denial almost overwhelmed him. He repressed it with the greatest struggle, going so far as to avert his eyes so he could compose himself with less of a direct audience. He worked hard to keep his face blank. When he was sure Obi-Wan- yes, Obi-Wan, the man he'd thought of as his whore, his chance- was done, he said, "You have a lot of courage facing me without back-up."

"Oh, there's back-up here. I'm not unwise. But it wasn't necessary to call half the Temple." Obi-Wan gestured to Padme. "You should get some rest. The next few days are going to be rough." He lowered his voice, though surely he meant Xanatos to hear his words. "And whatever terrible thing you hear about me, don't believe it."

"Are you going to go against the Order?" Xanatos shouted as the two of them disappeared into the apartment proper. He could have almost surely killed Obi-Wan. And he should have at least followed them. But instead he put away his lightsaber. It was foolish to stand ready to fight when there was no one to engage.

Obi-Wan and the beautiful Padme disappeared from view. He heard a door open, the murmur of her voice, the murmur of his, and the closing of almost surely that same door. Then Obi-Wan reappeared. This time his lightsaber was in his hand, though not ignited.

"What will you?" the master asked quietly.

Xanatos walked backwards to the railing. "You're very bold for someone who broke less than six months ago."

"And you're extremely receptive to the whole Force for someone who was a confirmed sadists and rapist. How the Force changes us with or without our consent or knowledge. And basic life does the same. If our goal is to stay as we are, we can never succeed. Such is not your nature or mine."

Had he ever let Obi-Wan say so much without interrupting or making the man lose the ability to speak? Xanatos put his hand on the railing. "I'm leaving. Go do your oh so important work. Just don't expect her to be alive when you get back."

The man made his lightsaber disappear. "You won't hurt her. Remember to do your duty or the chance at a new happiness that's being offered to you for this third time will be lost. And I believe a third chance is all you'll get. Time's short."

Xanatos opened his mouth to demand an answer to that riddle but then leapt onto the railing. "You don't intimidate me."

"You'll see Qui-Gon before I do. Tell him I'm well." Again Obi-Wan disappeared.

With no one to talk to, Xanatos turned and leapt into space.

oOo

"Identify yourself, Captain."

"Prince Ni-kailo-Bel requesting permission to enter orbit." Ni tapped the fingers of his left hand on the control panel before him. He'd learned how to fly a year ago and he'd discovered that he loved it. But the fascination had worn off on the long solo trek to Coruscant. And now that he was finally here, all he wanted to do was land.

Obi-Wan was somewhere on this planet; he could almost feel his presence. Impossible without the Force, Obi-Wan would have said, but that master Jedi would have also said that out of great need came great, unexpected benefits. Ni was of the opinion that his father and brother and all those who had gone before him into the next life were telling him where Obi-Wan was and how to find him.

It of course didn't hurt that a Jedi should be at the Jedi Temple. And though many were now out among the stars, Ni felt sure Obi-Wan would be here.

"You're cleared to land on Platform I-63 in the Northeast Quarter."

A map flickered to life on Ni's screen. "I see it. I'll be landing in seven minutes."

"Copy that. Out."

"Out." Ni angled his ship in. The Northeast Quarter was far from the Jedi Temple. He'd have to find transportation. No problem. Far from home or not, his money was still good.

He began, unconsciously, to hum, and then sing. He ran only the chorus of the Taubese grief-ballad; what need to run the rest? At least the chorus was vaguely hopeful.

"A million things unsaid/and most of them better left that way.

"Walk with me/and we don't need to say a word.

"I know you, Beloved/and these are my words for you:

"A million things unsaid/and most of them better left that way."

Platform I-63 was in sight. He steered for it and hummed the barely-hopeful refrain.

oOo

When Anakin woke, he wasn't alone but he sensed that Obi-Wan had gone and come back while he slept. He hadn't sensed his lover's departure or return- his command of the Force should have, in his opinion, extended to his sleeping hours- but he knew it as he looked down at the red hair threaded with grey and the beautiful man that slept contendedly on his shoulder.

Turning his head, he glanced at the chronometer. It was close to seven-thirty. He'd agreed to be out of their quarters by eight so that he'd be far from Temple and thus unable to reach Obi-Wan 'in time to save him'. And he had work to do this morning before he left.

Carefully, he slipped out from under his lover and off the bed. He started to turn away, but then he froze. Obi-Wan hadn't stirred, so he might still mbe asleep, mbut Anakin felt called back to the bed.m There wawn't time for any of the things he wanted. And that Obi wanted, judging by…

Anakin crouched beside the bed and gazed at his lover's erection. He wanted to touch it, engulf it, but if Obi was still asleep... His lover slept completely naked. He had done so many nights before this but Anakin had always slept in his tunic and light trousers. Obi-Wan trusted not only the Temple, which they knew could be breached, and not only the Jedi, who had proved fallible and had hurt him sometimes, but Anakin, who had betrayed him by dancing in the Dark Side. Obi-Wan trusted him and had been giving evidence of that for two months. And Anakin had missed that blatant show of trust.

They had reconciled less than a week ago, so his realization didn't bring much guilt. But it brought him a rush of love that made him want to kiss Obi-Wan till he woke, then take him until they both cried out their pleasure, and all the while tell his lover all about his gratitude.

There just wasn't time.

He touched Obi-Wan's lips with two fingers and smiled when his lover at once sucked the digits into his mouth. "Good morning."

"Yes, it is," Obi-Wan mumbled around the fingers still in his mouth. He sat up and caught Anakin's hand in his own. "SAre we all set?"

"I just woke up."

"Ah." Obi-Wan stood, releasing Anakin's hand. "Do you need help?" He glanced at the chronometer. "We have a little time, at least."

"Where did you go this morning?"

"The Force called me to Padme's apartment as It called you."

"She's all right." He could feel this in the Force.

"Yes. But she had a visitor who was getting on her nerves."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

Obi-Wan hesitated. "If I tell you, you must promise- and I mean really promise- that you'll stick to this morning's plan. You can check on her in the midst of your flying if you want, but don't go looking for him." He turned from Anakin and started making their bed. "Do you promise me?"

"This person- he's not a danger to her?"

"He's nothing she can't handle. She'd handled him before I arrived. I think I was there to back up her statements, nothing more." He tugged the top sheet into place.

Anakin took stock of his heart. Obi­­­­-Wan seemed confident. Besides, Anakin knew she was safe. "It's not Annie, both because you said 'he' and because she's not safe for anyone to be around." He laughed. "I hope Sidious remembers that and watches his back. And it's not Qui-Gon-" he waited for a reaction from Obi-Wan and when he got none went on- "or Xan-"

Obi-Wan had settled the blanket in place and turned to face him.

"Xanatos! Xanatos was in her apartment? And she was handling him?"

"Quite effectively." Obi-Wan grawped Anakin's shoulders. "Listen to me. He has some role yet to play and it's not for the Sith. That doesn't mean he isn't still serving the Darkness, but he won't hurt her."

"Why?"

"If I knew that, I'd be Xanatos." He tightened his grip. "Do you promise not to interfere?"

Anakin groaned. He couldn't imagine… "And why are you so calm about this? You faced him. What if he'd-"

"He doesn't think of me anymore."

"And if you're sure about that, you really are Xanatos."

Obi-Wan was silent.

Anakin ran through that last sentence again and winced. "I'm sorry. That wasn't just unfair. It was cruel.' He cupped Obi-Wan's cheek in his palm. "I'm sorry."

"Forgiven." Obi-Wan looked distracted now that the promise had been given. "How much help do you need?" He brushed past Anakin, making for the closet where his robes hung so neatly.

_Wait._ Anakin put a little Force-command into the word, not to control Obi-Wan but to get his attention.

Obi-Wan turned. "We can't talk that way now. It's less than two hours until he comes."

"So what? You're not supposed to be expecting him; you should sound completely relaxed to anyone and everyone. And I doubt anyone's spying."

_True. I'm just on edge._

_Yeah, I felt that and it's what I want to talk about. How far is this going to go?_

_And that's definitely something you shouldn't say if we are being overheard._

_Answer me. Please. _He met Obi-Wan's gaze and read everything his lover felt as Obi-Wan let all shields, except one that he had placed around the both of them, drop away. _You're uneasy. This is going to be nothing but appearances and you're still uneasy._ He frowned. _Obi, you know he won't hurt you and you know Woda's prepared. What's wrong?_

Obi-Wan turned away with a mumbled, "Forgive me, but time's moving swiftly behind us." He sent, _Nothing ever goes as planned. I'm anxious for Ferus. He must get away, no matter what else happens. His mission is at stake. When I suggested this subterfuge, it was because it's the best way to make sure he's hated by all Jedi and trusted by Separatists, short of killing Yoda or younglings. Sidious is so deeply invested in the Dark Force that he almost is the Dark Force, and the Dark Force-_

_Wants you dead. I know._

_That's not what I was going to say. The Dark Force knows that eventually it will be brought back into balance. Its goal is to make the resurgence of the Light as difficult as possible. Ergo, my death. Ergo, the deaths of the younglings. Ergo, Annie. Ergo more minor goals than I ever want to understand or know. And that's what Ferus is going to be up against, with little to no support: the entire Dark Force._

Anakin nodded. _It might target him if it ever learned the trick you and he played on it._ He remembered the Dark Force that had come and gone on Ragoon 6 when Obi-Wan was giving birth to Annie. He repressed a shiver.

Obi-Wan was in his tunic and trousers. He went past Anakin to a drawer and fished out socks. _Exactly. And though Arnen faces a similar risk, I feel more responsible for Ferus because I've known him longer and more intimately, and because he was both Qui-Gon's padawan and Reeft's. As much as we work to be un-attached to each other, there are some with whom the attachment is deep. _He glanced at Anakin over his shoulder before taking the socks to the bed and sitting there. _You're just the most obvious one. There's a lesson I want to tell you but there isn't time. I think you have something to tell me._

_I dreamed last night and in the dream you said you were going to die when Padme dies._ He sent the images of the dream. It was faster. And he sent everything else he'd dreamed.

Obi-Wan froze with one foot half in its boot. His eyes clouded over and he sat completely still for several moments. Then, rousing himself, he finished getting dressed. His attention seemed to be completely on his boots and he didn't send Anakin even a hint of what he felt.

Anakin could have reached out. Instead, he waited. Obi-Wan hadn't sent the message, as he'd secretly hoped, and that meant his lover was also on unknown ground.

When Obi-Wan stood, he held his arms out to Anakin and the young man came into them, returning the embrace. "If she dies at the age of ninety-five, I'll die then. If this is even true."

Anakin blinked. "But how-? What if she dies tomorrow?"

"If this is true- if it came from Force- then it's true. If it's not, or if it can be changed by simply knowing about it, then there's no reason to be worried. Destiny's tricky and dreams are trickier."

"But my mother-"

"Her death was a tragedy, Anakin. I'll never say it wasn't. And you were allowed to see her suffering in time to relieve her heart before she passed. This dream- if it's true; I'm going to keep saying that until you remember it- isn't something you should go out of your way to change. How old was I in this dream? Younger than I am now?"

"Yeah, but-"

"And even if I hadn't been, there's no way my death could happen exactly that way." He stepped back and held Anakin's gaze. "Are you sure she died in childbirth?"

He nodded. "I felt it."

"And she was calling out for you. So if the dream is true-"

Anakin tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it.

"-we'll almost surely know when the twins are coming and if we have any choice in the matter, we'll save both them and her." He drew back. "Can you let this rest until we have time to discuss it further? We have a lot to do and you need to be out of here by nine."

What choice did he have? None. "I promised Padme I wouldn't interfere with the Force."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened and the distracted look that had been creeping back into them vanished. He grinned; as always, it transformed his face. "Then forget the lesson I was going to teach. You found it on your own."

Anakin saw so much tension slip from his lover's shoulders that he laughed. "You weren't just worried about Ferus; you were worried about me." He shook his head and pulled Obi-Wan in for a soul-deep kiss. When he drew back, he, too, was grinning. "I'm not happy with what might happen but I promised. I gave her the Jedi promise and told her what it meant."

"You're not expected to be happy. You're expected to go along as best you can and leave the future to itself. Force, I sound like Qui-Gon." He laughed. "_Now_ we need to get ready."

"All right." He kissed Obi-Wan again, just as fiercely. "You're damn sexy when you laugh, you know that?" He let go and stepped out of their room.

"And you're going to say that then just leave me wanting more?"

Anakin turned and bowed. "Your pleasure, Master." He started towards the common room.

"My-? What does that mean?" Obi-Wan was following.

Anakin started arranging the furniture; he overturned the table. "You'll be pinned here, against the table. That'll give Woda clear way in and Ferus a clean way out."

Obi-Wan took his tunic in both hands and ripped it from the collar halfway to his waist. "What did you mean by my pleasure?"

"You'll be thinking about me instead of what you'll have to do in a few hours and I'll be thinking about you and what I'm going to do with you tonight instead of the far future. So I guess it's not really your pleasure, Master, but _our_ pleasure."

oOo

Ten minutes later, Anakin froze in the midst of mixing fake blood in a bowl in the kitchen. Obi-Wan, making things look a perfect mess in the common room, felt the change in his lover at once. "What is it?"

"Someone's coming. Fast. He'll be here in five minutes, maybe ten if someone stops him at the main door." He hesitated. "It might be Ni. I should probably go meet him." He held up the bowl. "This is done."

Obi-Wan came to him and took the bowl. "Ni isn't Force-sensitive. That doesn't mean you can't sense him but it makes it less likely. But you should probably go. I don't think Ferus is going to have the choice of waiting until ten."

"How is Woda going to know when to come in?"

"I'll try to get a message to Yoda. If you'll try the same, one of us might get lucky. If not, I'll encourage Ferus to leave and then I'll call for help." He moved back into the common room. "I'd better get ready. Tell Yoda we won't have a speeder ready if you see him." He put up a shield between them as he began to create and remember the images that would show him as totally lost in terror. "You should go." He took out a knife.

Anakin had started past him towards the door. He stopped. "What are you going to do?"

"I need to explain why it took my cries awhile to be heard. I clawed at the Force-collar before I was able to break it and call for help."

"That's the story you're going to tell. Where did you get a Force-collar?"

"You can buy anything if you know where to look." He gave Anakin a smile. It was probably a wry smile and it might show some of what he felt so he dropped it. He didn't put the mask on. That would hurt Anakin and put him on his guard. Safe in his mind, he thought, _Forgive me, Anakin._ "I bought a few things during the months we weren't quite talking. Not for anything like this but because of something Ryn-yn used to say: stay in the moment but prepare for the future. He meant more than just planning ahead. He believed that if you went looking for things you needed without knowing exactly what, you'd know it when you'd see it." He closed his eyes, released the tension growing in his mind, and dropped his shields for a few moments. _Beloved, we have to get going._

_Whatever you're planning, Obi, make sure it's not going to get you killed or even hurt. The galaxy needs you._

_A few cuts should be the worse of it._ He touched Anakin's mind. _I love you. Be careful. Stay away from Temple until noon if possible. I'm sure Ni, if it is Ni, will give you ample reason._

_I'm supposed to be going on some sort of mission. I may be called back to Temple before noon._

_Then do all you can to stay away from wherever I am. _Obi-Wan offered that wry smile again and let it stay. _All while acting like you need to get to me as soon as possible, of course._

Anakin's own smile was small and it faded much too quickly. _I'm not going to lie to you, Obi. I don't like all this tricking and sending Jedi out to what will probably be their deaths. We probably won't ever see Ferus or Arnen again._

_I know. May the Force be with them. And with us all._ He put his shields in place. He took the bowl and set it on the floor by the overturned table. Then he called a standing screen from the meditation room and arranged it so the mess he and Anakin had made couldn't be seen if someone opened the door.

Anakin hesitated but then turned and left their quarters.

Obi-Wan sighed. "All will be well." He sat down at the terminal in one corner and began to encode a message to Yoda. Halfway through the message, when he'd told about needed a speeder earlier because Ferus might come before ten, the door chimes rang. Less than a minute had passed since Anakin left. Obi-Wan sent the message, unfinished as it was, then went to the terminal. He could reached out to the Force, breathed, and opened the door.

In stained robes and with burning eyes, Ferus was waiting.

oOo

Anakin detoured down to the main Temple entrance before heading for the speeder platform. He found Ni waiting for him there.

He recognized the prince from his dreams (he seemed little changed from when Obi-Wan had seen him last) and he started in that direction. The prince wasn't alone; Bant stood with him and though the two of them weren't talking, Anakin had the sense that they understood each other more than a little.

Bant nodded to him as he approached. She looked as strong as he'd ever seen her, but the light had gone from her eyes. Anakin wanted to hold her, tell her all would be well. Instead, he felt the press of time for the first time since he'd left Obi-Wan several floors up. Time was short. They needed to get out of Temple.

Bant said, "Prince Ni-kailo-Bel, Knight Skywalker."

The prince frowned even as he offered his hand. "I do not appreciate your stalling techniques, Madam Jedi. I must see Obi-Wan Kenobi and I must see him now."

"He's indisposed," Anakin said as he shook hands. He was almost laughing at the pompous word: indisposed. He could hear it in some stuffy voice from some long-ago mission. Obi had _liked_ this being? "May I help you?"

"I must-" The prince tried to push his way past Anakin.

The knight was a full head and a half shorter than the visiting dignitary but he placed himself in the prince's way and folded his arms. "Obi-Wan asked me to take you with me for awhile. He'll see you before the day's out, but he's busy right now. If you don't like it, you can be removed from Temple." He glared up at the prince, putting severity into his expression. "The galaxy darkens and you're putting things in danger that you don't understand."

That got him a little deflation, at least. "Obi-Wan is the only one who can help me."

"Why?"

"He knows my trouble."

Had Obi-Wan been in contact with the Taubese prince? Well, whether he had or not, Anakin's dream had given explicit directions and Obi-Wan had confirmed them: Anakin was meant to deal with this stubborn jackass. "I'm his lover." He'd assumed the prince knew that because of how Bant had introduced him, but apparently not, for the prince's eyes widened. Anakin nodded. "I can act as his proxy for now. Or you can wait until he's free. It's your choice."

"I can't wait." The prince sighed. "We'll take my speeder."

He'd brought one from his planet? Anakin didn't need to know the answer to that question. "Fine." He turned to Bant and bowed to her. "It's been too long."

She smiled. "Much too long. Tell Obi-Wan I can't stay; I was on my way out when I ran into Prince Ni-kailo-Bel. Give me my best wishes."

"He sends you the same every minute."

She nodded and, walking very fast, soon left the two of them alone.

Anakin started for the front doors. "Let's go."

The prince fell into step beside him. "You're Anakin?" His voice was softer.

"Yes."

"I misremembered your last name."

Anakin pushed his way out into the sunlight. "How can I help you?"

"How's Obi-Wan?"

"He's well." He saw the speeder and blinked at how common it was. It was also Coruscant-made. The prince had bought it since he'd arrived. "If you're going to do nothing but ask me about Obi, then my help stops here."

"I only wanted to know if he's all right. He's chosen the difficult paths all his life and I wanted to make sure he's still able to laugh and smile."

"He's able." Anakin stopped beside the speeder. "I'll drive."

"Fine." He got in. "You don't need to feel threatened, young Jedi. Obi-Wan chose you over me long ago. And I'm not here to lure him back but to find my lover. He reached out to me after years of silence and I can't help him when I don't know where he is."

"Then why did you insist on only Obi's help?" Anakin gunned the engine and took off. "We'll talk in a more secluded spot. I'm assuming you don't want anyone to know you came here."

"To answer your question, he's the Jedi with whom I'm comfortable. And I don't care who sees me where, though it might be easier if I wasn't tracked here. I don't know what might happen to Jae'el if it was found out that I'd come all the way across the galaxy to ask help of the Jedi."

"Jae'el is your lover?" _Jay-el. _The name touched off some distant memory but Anakin let it go for now. If it was helpful, he'd remember at the right time. He headed for the Orange District.

"Yes." He shifted in a seat that was designed for a shorter being. "Does Obi-Wan have children yet?"

Noen that he could truly call children. "No."

"If he would only leave the Jedi Order he could have them."

Anakin made the speeder drop like a stone through four lanes of traffic until they were just above the street. Here he slowed his speed. "You can get out now if you're going to keep talking about Obi."

"I'm sorry." His eyes were starting out of his head. "Was that necessary?"

"If you want, I'll cut your hand off next time."

"You think he would leave you for me." The prince looked more than a little amused. "You don't trust him."

Anakin brought the speeder to a halt before twisting in his seat. He seized the front of the prince's robes. "The Dark Force is trying to kill him. He's about to walk out on the front lines of this particular battle-"

"What battle?"

Anakin shook him. "And I won't draw more attention to him by talking about him. He's already a target. Either you shut your mouth about him, stop shining a psychic spotlight on him, if that makes more sense to you, or you can find your lover on your own." He released the prince's robes. "He said you were a good person but I have yet to see that side of you and I'm starting to doubt if it exists anymore."

A long silence answered him. Anakin got the speeder back in the air.

"I'm sorry. I can't help fearing for him. He touched my life, my heart."

"He touches lives all over the galaxy. Let it go. It's what he does."

A sigh answered him. "All right." Silence again as the blocks rolled away under them. "You can call me Ni, by the way."

"Call me Anakin." He opened the throttle so they could rush between two larger vehicles. Anakin took pleasure in seeing Ni's eyes widen again. "Let's find our place and talk."

oOo

"Pftranshi," Ferus said. Everything inside him sang with the Force and he worked hard to project both lust and fury. "You're dragging us down and we have no choice but to follow." He shoved Obi-Wan back a step. "We're not going down with you."

The door closed and he dropped his voice to a whisper. "Woda will be here in less than five minutes. But he won't be alone. We have to really fool them." He moved closer. "It was Yoda's compromise. Other Jedi- padawans- saw me coming here, reported it to Yoda, and he can't just 'not do anything' about it." The Force was alive with both Darkness and Light; Ferus felt buffeted by both Sides.

"They thought they felt the Dark Side from you?" Obi-Wan shook his head as he lifted the screen and floated it back into the meditation room. Behind the screen, the table was turned over and the vase that had been there lay smashed beneath. "No. They saw what you wanted them to see." He sighed as he walked into the kitchen. "Undo your robes." He carried a bowl of something red back into the common room. He handed Ferus the bowl. "Fake blood." He took something from his pocket: a Force-collar. As Ferus watched, he fastened it around his neck with a wince. "Pleasant."

"This seems surreal."

Obi-Wan nodded. "It is. Like taking the drugs to achieve a 'healing trance,' this may be a mistake. But it's too late for second-guessing. And we can still make this work to your advantage." He flipped out a knife and made small cuts on the ends of some of his fingers. He smeared his blood on the collar. "They're close. Are you ready?"

Ferus had loosened his robes. He nodded. "Maybe I don't even need to go all the way. They could walk in on me pushing you and trying to get on top of you."

Obi-Wan smeared more of the fake blood on his face and a whole mess of it in his hair on the right side. He looked as if his head had been bashed against something. Then he put more blood on the corner of the overturned table. He whispered, "Put the bowl in my room."

Ferus did as he was told and felt a little relief as he did so. Not because the fake blood was gone but because Obi-Wan was projecting calmness with his body language. The master had been leaking fear and shock before putting the collar in place, surely to draw the rest of the players in this drama to his quarters. Despite that, panic was the furthest thing from the older man's mind.

When he came back out, Obi-Wan stood by the table. He made pushing motions with his hands and Ferus raced at him, shoving him hard, trusting Obi-Wan to catch himself without being hurt. He stumbled forward as Obi-Wan went down with a thud, his head missing the corner of the table by a hair's breadth. Ferus fell on top of him and caught his wrists. Obi-Wan's eyes were crossed like he'd struck his head.

Ferus lifted himself up, projecting: fury/lust/need/Darkness strong enough to make his head ache. He got his robes all the way open and tore at Obi-Wan's with his free hand. He couldn't quite get the leverage he needed and so he used the Force to freeze Obi-Wan's muscles. With Obi-Wan's robes at last torn, he reached down. Was he actually going have to touch-?

There was a thud as someone ran into the door. Then a lightsaber was stabbed through and the door began to burn.

Ferus scrambled off Obi-Wan and rushed for the window. There would be a speeder ready. He thought he could jump to the next balcony down, then try to commandeer one of the speeders that would be rushing by in the decreased-speed lower lanes. He shoved the balcony doors open and heard the door give way behind him. He reached the railing, wondering if he'd be grabbed from behind before he could-

The speeder was ready for him and he dove over the railing. The driver took off, disappearing into the traffic. Ferus reached out to the Force cautiously, not wanting to give himself away but needing to know what sort of pursuit was following them.

"It's all right," muttered the driver as he pushed back his hood.

"Arnen."

The man nodded. "Sorry I'm late. I was in the middle of something when Master Yoda called." He held up a pad. "But I got it. Here's where General Grievous is hiding."

Ferus took the pad and used his doctored comlink to transfer the information back to Temple.

He paused as they rose into a higher lane and peeled off the main drag, heading north. When he spoke, his voice was tentative. "Do you know if Gareth's all right?"

"I haven't talked to him. I know he's alive." Ferus closed his eyes and breathed, centering himself. "Where are we going?"

"Little Separatist cell right here on Coruscant. It's a rat hole with a little ventilation."

He couldn't hear Arnen's disappointment but if _he'd _been in love, he would have wanted to know more. "I'm sorry I don't have more information."

"You didn't have any reason to talk to him."

"I knew I was going to see you. I should have thought ahead."

"And been seen talking to him and risk blowing both your cover and mine? No, it's better this way."

Ferus wanted to say something hopeful that would take the overwhelming sense of self-sacrifice out of the air. But he could think of nothing and the silence stretched out between them until the opportunity was lost. He turned his thoughts to the coming mission and had descended almost completely into thoughts of the future. So when Arnen spoke, Ferus all but jumped.

"There'll be predators there who'll want to hear, blow for blow, what you did to Master Obi-Wan. Have you decided if you're a boaster or a man who'll think things through before talking?"

"I've already established myself as the latter. But do they need to hear things to believe and accept me?"

"The blood on your robes will be more than enough, I should think. But if not, I'll start asking you personal questions and you can try to punch my face in." He laughed, sounding nearer his true age of early twenties than his earlier, depressed self. "Fair warning: I've already broken a few noses and arms and they see me as a force to be reckoned with. I'll have to keep up my rep." He dropped to the lane below them, slowing. "We're almost there."

"I never really wanted to be a spy."

Arnen laughed again. "I did, but I didn't think it'd be anything like this."

"You're getting in character, aren't you?" Ferus asked.

That earned him a grin. "You can tell, huh?" His eyes were serious and hard for an instant before regaining their humorous cast. "I'm out from under the overbearing, sometimes-abusive, always corrupt Gareth Hal. Of course I'm happier this way."

And when he heard that, Ferus let go of the preconception he'd been holding about Arnen since he'd learned of the Annie incident. Arnen wasn't some kid who had become a knight too soon; he was younger than Ferus, but he was definitely ready to be a full-fledged Jedi, with all the struggles and responsibilities that job entailed. "You think it's funny?" he demanded. "The Jedi must be destroyed."

"Good luck doing that all by yourself."

Author's Note: Well, this one was closer to finished than I thought. I hope you had fun.


	55. The Aftermath

Author's Note: The story is diverging more and more from the movies (thank you, Annie Jinn-Kenobi)

**Author's Note:** The story is diverging more and more from the movies (thank you, Annie Jinn-Kenobi). I promise the story will steer back towards the standard story as we go on.

Five Years (False Recovery) Pg. 1100

Five Years (Before the Abduction) Pg. 1126

Five Years (Abduction) Pg. 1142

Five Years (Dogfight and Rescue) Pg. 1166

Five Years (Planning) Pg. 1187

Five Years (Step One: The Rape) Pg. 1207

Five Years (Step Two: The Aftermath) Pg. 1225

Five Years (Step Two: The Aftermath)

Obi-Wan felt the hands touch him, freeing him of the collar. He opened his eyes. "Woda, get out." This youngling had burned through his door. Where had he gotten the lightsaber for the job? And should he be alone? But it was all about playing the game, so he added, "He might come back. Call a master."

"There's one coming." Woda put the lightsaber- now deactivated- down and knelt at Obi-Wan's side. "Tell me how to help you,"

Obi-Wan considered the blood between his legs- what he'd put there himself- and his torn clothes. "I'm cold. Can you bring me the blanket on the couch?"

Woda, looking so serious and worried that Obi-Wan had doubts about what the child thought was going on, got the blanket and returned. He used the Force to spread the blanket over Obi-Wan's lap. "Another do you need?"

Obi-Wan blinked at Yoda's way of talking coming from this young one's mouth. He thought he saw a twinkle in Woda's eye and relaxed a little. The youngling was trying to let him know that everything was all right.

Woda looked away. "My papa says that sometimes I'll slip into his way of talking when I'm afraid."

This, Obi-Wan thought, was an act. Or at least he prayed it was an act and that spark had been the truth. Whatever the truth, his duty was clear. "Reach out to the Force to dispel your fear. All is well in the Force." He might have taken Woda's hand but his own hands were spotted with blood and he didn't dare chance that Woda was truly frightened and might be horrified by touching blood.

The door to his quarters was ripped off its hinges with the power of the Force and both Mace and the medic Obi-Wan had spoken with only yesterday strode in. Mace told Woda (gently) to move and the medic lifted the blanket aside. He frowned. "Did he go all the way, Master Kenobi?"

"No. He wasn't able to finish." Obi-Wan kept his voice level. He'd been through all this so many times before that a certain amount of detachment was required. Besides, he'd rejected the idea of playing the broken, sobbing man. The Jedi Order's view of Ferus would be just as black if he kept his dignity.

"He did penetrate," the medic said.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Violently." A flash of insight: it would explain why there would be no trace of his 'attacker' inside him: no pre-ejaculate, for instance. "He used a pelosh." Like an extra male organ that could be made into many pain-causing shapes.

"The ingenuity of the sentient mind," the medic muttered. "There will be others here to transport you soon." He covered Obi-Wan with the blanket once more and took wipes from his bag. These he applied to Obi-Wan's hands, then, gently, to his head.

Mace crouched on Obi-Wan's other side.

Obi-Wan glanced past him, saw Woda sitting on the couch, then turned his eyes back to Mace. "I'm sorry it was Woda who had to find me."

"I'm glad your attacker fled before a lightsaber without having to see who wielded it. Someday Woda will be ready for battle, but that is not this day." His eyes burned for a moment. "Who attacked you, Obi-Wan?"

Here it was. His mouth was suddenly dry. He looked right into Mace's eyes, feeling like he was lying even though they both knew the answer. He felt guilty, too, because Ferus had been in his quarters at his own request. He said, "Ferus Olin." Yes, but Ferus hadn't attacked him! Obi-Wan felt ill. He reached out to the Force and his stomach settled. Ferus was right: this was wrong in so many ways. When the Jedi had to start playing games just to get along in the universe, it was time to quit. Time for the Order to quit while it was falling, maybe time for the Jedi name to die for awhile. "The Darkness rises and poisons all of us," he whispered, meaning it more to express what he felt right then than as another move in the game. But it fit the game so he voiced it.

Mace nodded. "Yes. And all we can do is hold onto the Light that was and those that still hold the Light and know the Balance."

"Where's Anakin?"

"He's on a mission with a Prince Ni-kailo-Bel."

Obi-Wan blinked, pretending surprise. "Ni's here? Why?"

"I don't know. He would speak to Anakin only." He paused, then, "Anakin will be back soon."

A lie, that, and Obi-Wan realized he might not even see Anakin for a few moments before Anakin was sent on distant missions. And if that happened, they might not see each other before the Fall. Again he felt ill and again he doused the feeling in the peace of Force But it went much more grudgingly than his shame at playing this game, and it didn't go without making him pay a price in sorrow and a touch of fear. "He had help to escape."

"It was Arnen," Mace said. "He has also abandoned the Jedi." He rose. "The medical droids are coming. You will be tended now, Obi-Wan, then you will rest."

_But not for long. Soon I need to be ready to fight again._ That was the implication and it came through loud and clear. Well, at least he would be able to rest his leg so that when he walked again, it would be for real, without a limp or other weakness.

Woda came to him and took his hand. "Do you want company, Master Obi-Wan?"

"If you don't have lessons, young one, I would like that." He sensed there were things that needed to be said between them.

Then medical droids arrived. Those things would have to wait.

oOo

Anakin hid his lightsaber under his robes but anyone could see he was a Jedi if they knew how a Jedi dressed. Well, and that was all right: sometimes the Jedi met informants in the Orange District, and rat holes like this played host to as many Jedi as penthouses. He settled himself across from Ni at a small table by the wall- there were no tables in the middle of the room, just the circular bar. There weren't even any stools at the bar. No one wanted their back to the room. He could respect that.

Ni took a sip from his drink. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Tell me about Jae-el." Thinking, _Jae-el… Jay-el… I don't know that name from any mission we've been on or from any huge, important event in my life or Obi's. _

"We were lovers for two years. We were thinking of getting married." He chuckled, but it sounded like a miserable sound. "I wanted to wait for awhile, not make the mistake I made with… well, you know."

With Obi. Yeah, he knew.

"Jae-el became very passionate about the Separatists' views and though I tried my best to convince him that they weren't going about things the right way even if they possibly had some good ideas. He became impatient and left."

_Jay-el means…_

"We hadn't spoken in a year, then he contacted me and said he wanted out of the Separatists but that he didn't know how to extricate himself without getting killed."

_Listen to me, Anakin. You can sometimes learn a lot about a culture by the names of its citizens, and even more by the names of its buildings and businesses. Now, every civilization treats names differently but there are a few consistencies…_

"I thought the Jedi could help me rescue him and bring him back home." Ni sighed, settled back, waited.

_Obi, do we _have _to learn about word origins? It's so _boring_! Can we go flying instead?_

Anakin pushed the phantom voices away for the moment. "Did he give you any hint as to where he might be? It's a big galaxy."

Ni scowled. "You think I'd come to you with no leads?" He produced a pouch from his robes and tossed it at Anakin, who caught it in one hand. "There are the clues he left me, both in our rooms and in his few messages. I think, on some level, he knew he'd need a way to get out. And I've always been there for him; of course he would leave it with me."

That sort of planned escape hatch didn't sound like the type of thing an impulsive, need-to-go-with-the-Separatists individual would do; it sounded more like a diver going into dangerous waters and leaving himself a lifeline to the surface.

_Jay-el means… Jay-el means…_

_Obi, I'm tired!_

_Just one more, Anakin._

_But I've already memorized forty-nine!_

_This is the last. For now. Jay-el means 'spy' in over two hundred vaguely related cultures. It's spelled differently in some, but the most common spelling is J-A-Y-E-L. It's possibly so popular in that many cultures because…_

But he didn't need to know that and he cut the memory off, warmed though he was by Obi's voice. It had been strict that day; Obi had strange passions and they came out in the way he taught and what he taught. Sometimes other masters had said that Obi was too easy on Anakin but that was because he'd picked his battles based on his own beliefs. And some of his beliefs, it seemed, were out of the norm even in the Jedi Temple.

Anakin leaned forward. "Is Jae-el his real name?"

Ni blinked. "Well, no, but that's how he introduced himself. It's a pet name."

_Yeah, and I'm a bantha with purple feet. _"I should look at the clues, but not here."

"So we have to talk one place and do the rest of the investigation of the old facts somewhere else? Why couldn't we just do this at Temple?"

Anakin's comlink beeped. He got up. No one here needed to know what someone at Temple was going to say to him. "Come on." He strode to the door, dropping a few credits on the bar on the way out- enough that he and Ni wouldn't be stopped. When the two of them were back in the speeder and Anakin had gotten them into the air, he took out the beeping box and tapped it. "Anakin."

"Anakin? It's Woda. Master Obi-Wan was attacked by Ferus Olin."

Anakin winced. Woda sounded so worried and anxious… Was his little brother really this good an actor? He'd wanted to think so, but… "Is he all right?"

"Yes. He's awake. But… Ferus raped him. Master Obi-Wan says he didn't finish but... He was bleeding when I came in."

Ni tried to grab the comlink. "Where is he? We'll be right there!"

"No. We won't. We have a mission to complete." Anakin's heartbeat had jumped two notches. He put a tight hold on his emotions. There was no reason to be this upset. This was exactly what was supposed to happen. "Woda, are you all right?"

"Master Obi-Wan helped me reach out to the Force. But I wish you were here." He paused. "Ferus got away."

_Yeah, I'll bet he did._ "Tell Obi I'll be there as soon as I can but I can't abandon this mission. The Force asked me to do it. Can you tell him that for me, Woda?"

"Yup. But he already knows. He didn't even want me to call you and worry you but he thought maybe you might already know something was wrong and worry too much."

"Worry is a path to the Dark Side," Anakin murmured. "I didn't know but I'm glad you called anyway. Tell Obi to stay in bed and make sure his door's locked and his lightsaber's close at hand." What else was a distraught lover who was trying to be a big, bad Jedi say? He let his voice roughen. "Please tell Obi I love him and soon there will be a day when no one will rape him or even look at him if he doesn't wish it."

"I will. May the Force be with you."

"And with you. He'll be fine, Woda; don't worry."

"That's what he told me tell you." Woda cut the connection.

Anakin put the comlink away. He didn't trust himself to glance at Ni. "Don't ever interrupt one of my conversations again. Time's too short for that sort of shit."

"Obi-Wan was-"

"We're not going to talk about it."

"But he needs-"

"Rest, protection and healing. And he's got all of that. I'm stuck out here with you so let's just go find your lost sheep so I can get back to him."

"Maybe another Jedi could help me."

"No. This is my fucking task." Wow, he wasn't a bad actor himself. If he wasn't careful, he'd really be angry. Ha, ha. Yeah, he _so_ wasn't angry right now. Anakin sighed and released everything he felt into the Force. It went and returned him peace so strong he could almost have believed Obi had sent it special delivery.

He took the speeder up into one of the busiest lanes so he'd have to concentrate a little. "You're going to show me everything when we have a safer place and then there will either be a clear path for us to take or I'll make one. As for going from place to place, where we just were? That was a Separatist hang-out, maybe even the front for one of their cells."

"They have cells here on Coruscant?"

"The Jedi are spread thin. And if we had the numbers to waste time kicking Separatists off Coruscant, they'd just congregate somewhere else, maybe somewhere that we wouldn't be expecting them." He thought they could find a safe place in another of the underground communities, but to go there would require a change of costume. He kicked the pack at his feet and nodded. He'd been wearing it when he'd met Ni and Bant at the front of the Temple but it was so much a part of who he was that he couldn't remember even putting it on or taking it off. Would it be filled with the right disguise? Almost anything would do. He hoped he'd packed it well. But all his packing times, as well as all his donning-times, blurred together. _Well, Obi taught me how to pack and that'll have to be enough._ They would land for a few moments and he'd change, then they'd go on again. He glanced at Ni, saw the prince was dressed in a way that could blend in most places, and nodded. At least he wasn't going to have to deal with finding less-royal robes for someone so much bigger than himself.

Ni spoke up, almost tentatively. So Anakin had made that much of an impression. "Tell me something, please, and then I won't ask any more questions."

"I told you: I'm not talking about him."

"I meant about you."

Anakin blinked. "What?" This prince didn't know anything about him, so what one question could be so important to stand for the rest of his ignorance?

"When the end comes, what will happen to Jedi like you? The ones who really fought?"

Was this a backwards way of asking what was going to happen to Obi? He decided to take the question at face value. "It doesn't work like that. Everyone's going to be in danger if we lose this war." No need for the prince to know that the Jedi Order would fall for certain. "As to individuals, we'll live as best we can and continue the fight against corruption and tyranny and suffering. But it will have to be in secret."

"Have you made provision for the younger ones? The children that you raise?"

"Yes." He paused, considered his own warning about saying his lover's name, and finally added, "Obi is one of the ones in charge of helping them."

"That's good. He has a soft spot in his heart for children. He thought about marrying me just so he could have children of his own that he wouldn't have to give up to the Temple or send away." Ni shook his head, his expression both wistful and sad. "He would have made an amazing husband. But it is better this way. Not only for me, I'm sure. He must love you very much to stay with you through everything that's happened to the Republic."

The Jedi weren't for the Republic the way they were for the Force but Anakin didn't bother to clarify. "Why do you ask? About what will happen?"

"I just wanted to offer any refugee Jedi- if there ever is such a thing- a place. My planet is far from the Core and has many caverns that resist most standard sensors. It wouldn't be perfect, but they might live in better comfort there, and almost certainly in better safety."

Anakin remember Lord Solo making a similar offer, though his was for a different sort of help, and the young Jedi Knight was touched. "Thank you. I will pass that message on to the Council when I return. We can always use more allies."

"The Jedi saved both my life and many other lives on my planet. Obi-Wan alone saved several of my family members. He and Qui-Gon were quite the team at one time and he accomplished much on his own. If there is ever a way I can repay him or his people, I will." He paused, and then made a sound that resembled a human clearing his throat. "He saved me from committing suicide. I was only half-influenced by the Dark Force, as he called it. The other half…" He sighed. "That was my own idiocy."

They were nearing a safe place: a small hotel called the Splendor. Letters in the sign had burned out long ago- back when Obi-Wan was a padawan- and had never been replaced. The s-p-l-e-n was still there and could still be read during the day but from what Obi-Wan had told him, even the out-of-the-way, seedy hotel's management called it the Dor. "We're going to stop; I'm going to change. Then we'll go in. Hold on." He saw a clearing in the traffic and dove.

Ni grunted in surprise. "How does… your lover... handle your flying? Not that I'm complaining; it's only a little more adventurous than I'm used to. It reminds me of Jae-el's flying."

"What was his name before? And did he ask you to call him Jae-el?"

"He said I should use that name among family and friends, strangers, anyone, really. Our friendship and romance were a bit of a secret form my family because he comes from a very low class on my planet: the N'endari."

_Untouchables,_ Anakin translated, not sure how he knew the word but smiling inside himself because it was almost certainly Obi-gleaned knowledge. He decided not to press for Jae-el's real name just now. "That must have sent your parents through the roof."

"My parents are dead, but my nephew, who is currently king, threatened to have me disowned." He laughed. "The only reason I can promise use of the caverns with any sort of dependability is because they are easy to sneak into, no matter who you are."

Anakin settled the speeder on the street and got out, taking his pack with him. He stood by the side of the vehicle as he opened the pack. "How did you meet Jae-el?"

"He is former Jedi."

Anakin's jaw dropped. He mastered himself quickly and started rummaging through the pack. "Why did he leave?"

"Well, maybe not former Jedi, but a former… What do you call those who are not chosen to become Jedi but grew up at Temple?"

"Initiates."

"Yes, that's the word he used. He was sent to work with the Agricorps-"

_The place all un-chosen initiates are sent._

"-but farming wasn't for him. He stayed until he was seventeen, learning to grow things so he could find a living wherever he went, then he left. He found his way to Taubese soil a year later."

"But your people don't usually make off-worlders N'endari, do they?" He'd found his disguise and he wanted to stare at it: torn cloak (with a well-hidden concealing-place for his lightsaber and comlink) ragged trousers and boots that looked like they had been worn for at least fifty years. These, at least, he recognized: Obi-Wan had worn them back from Dagobah. Anakin doubted they would fit, but maybe, if they'd been sprung enough…

The prince, unaware of his wandering thoughts, responded to his question about the N'endari. "No. But he is different. He's blind and in a hoverchair. An accident caused him to be chair-bound, but he's been blind since birth. And when he first arrived, he spoke with a terrible speech impediment. It turned out to be a camouflage technique, but none knew it at the time. Three disabilities was just too much for my sometimes-tolerant people: he was told that if he wished to stay, he must remain a N'endari. He agreed, obviously, though I've never been able to get a straight answer out of him as to why."

Anakin took off his robe and his tunic and donned the torn covering. This done, he shed boots and trousers quickly and made the change, hiding his comlink and lightsaber away. The boots fit just fine, what with sprung sides and toes so stretched that the boots could have almost been made two sizes bigger than his lover's feet. _I don't know why Obi though this was necessary, or why he went into my pack without telling me and redefining the word disguise, but I'll ask him when I get back. _He looked down at himself, wondering if he was supposed to be poor, then saw the tiiny ankle-bracelet still in his pack. It was a slave's anklet. He fished it out, gazed at it, put it on. "I'm meant to be your slave. Not seen, but seeing everything. He must have thought I'd run into trouble. But how can that be if he didn't know why you were coming?"

Ni shook his head. "If you don't understand his motives, I certainly cannot. I only worshiped him from afar." He looked down at the anklet. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"He chose these clothes for a reason. I'll follow his way until I have a reason to do otherwise. I'm a knight now, but he's a master and there are just some things that are natural to him." He tossed his pack back into the seat and got in. "Have you ever had a slave before?"

"No. But I can manage to be your master." The prince's eyes hardened. "Drive. We're late."

Anakin thought, _Yeah, I'm sure you'll be able to act like my master. _But he wasn't truly annoyed and he thought maybe he'd be able to call the prince by his name from now on.

oOo

Ferus breathed a sigh of relief when Anakin and the tall being with him left the small, Orange District bar. That sort of coincidence could be construed as a purposeful thing and both Ferus and Arnen had already gone through the ringer.

They'd returned from what Arnen called a joyride and been immediately set upon by several members of the Separatist cell. Two Xalings had pinned Ferus's arms behind his back. They were not the ones who had hurt Obi-Wan so badly (they were long dead) and they weren't even from the same hive-cluster, but the Force made coincidences sometimes and so Ferus would not have been surprised to know that these two knew those that Xanatos had first employed, then murdered. Sure, the two pairs of Xalings had been hive-rivals, but knowing someone in huge galaxy sometimes made allies out of the worst of enemies.

Ferus had laughed at those that held him. "I was a Jedi up until an hour ago. Do you really think holding me like this will do any good?" And, to demonstrate, he used the Force to freeze their muscles so that he slipped easily out of their grip.

Arnen, living up to his stated personality profile, wriggled free with a combination of the Force and good use of his feet, then knocked one of his attackers out with a well-placed punch. The other he lifted off the floor via the Force and snarled, "Fuck's your problem, Jim-ba?"

Jim-ba was a large Correlian and he'd struggled fruitlessly in the grip of the Force before finally subsided. "You didn't have permission to go out."

"My friend here raped and almost murdered a Jedi master. He couldn't stay at Temple. I liberated him." Arnen's eyes glinted. "Ever heard of General Kenobi? He was huddled in a ball on the floor of his quarters when we left."

_Almost murdered?_ Ferus wondered, but he said nothing, nor did he plan to. Arnen was maybe also known as a boaster, and if he wasn't, there was little chance these yahoos, who he doubted here high up on the command chain, would get the story the Temple (surrepticiously) put out firsthand. He'd held his peace and waited for an answer.

In the end, both he and Arnen had been let back into the fold with a minimum of fuss. And now here came (and went, thank you) Anakin Skywalker, talking it up with a being that Arnen said he recognized, though he couldn't remember where he'd seen him. So it was with much relief that Ferus saw the back end of Anakin. When he was sure the other knight wasn't coming back, he slipped out of the front room and into the more shadowy recesses, seeking Arnen, maybe, or whatever he was supposed to be doing here.

He didn't see Arnen, but he literally tripped over a hoverchair footrest. He stumbled, caught himself, and turned, deciding that cursing the man out might be good despite his reputation for being quiet. Hardly anyone here could be mistaken for a model citizen. "Are you trying ot kill me, friend?" he asked, trying to mix mildness with an undercurrent of frustration.

"If I was trying that, you would have already been done."

"Look, you little cripple, using that attitude of yours is a great way to-" His throat closed. He recognized the Force at once and repelled it.

The one in the chair laughed. "Ah, so you really are a runaway Jedi. How was I to know? There are half a hundred masquerading as such. That militant bastard Arnen isn't one, no matter what he claims. He couldn't even break such a simple hold."

Did anyone have doubts about Arnen's past? Well, they shouldn't after how Arnen rescued him from Temple. He said as much.

"Well, maybe he is, but he obviously slept through everything that was even moderately useful. Maybe that's why he's no pissed all the time."

"I've got better things to do than stand here talking ot you, Crip, so unless you have something useful to say-"

"Oh, I do, but it might not be for you. Only time will tell that." He turned his chair and disappeared through the door that had been standing open behind him. Ferus heard the lock click.

He stared at the door for a moment, wondering who this new player in the game was and what he, Ferus, was meant to learn from him. That he was meant to learn and not to teach in this particular instance was beyond doubt.

Ferus headed deeper into the guts of the bar. He'd eat something, think about things a little more, and wait to see what developed.

oOo

In trhe spacious training room that had been readied for her arrival, Annie flipped three times, decapitating droid after droid throughout her course. She was growing at an alarming rate now: he looked like a young woman of thirteen now- and her muscles always ached. Exercise alone took the pain down to that ache: the rest of the time, it was a raging fire just under her skin. And what better way to exercise than to train? Movement kept her muscles from making her scream, and training brought her, by slow steps, true, but still steps, towards the Sith she would have to be to defeat the Chosen One and, one day, her master.

Soon she would move on from droids to holograms of Jedi and then she would move on to biological fighters, first untrained, then trained, then experienced, and finally experts. She didn't doubt that she could kill them all if she followed Sidious's plans. He knew how to train apprentices: he'd once been one, then he'd trained three. True, those three had either pulled away or died, but when they were at the height their game, they were a match for most Jedi. As for Darth Maul's dying at Obi-Wan's hand? Well, Annie was better than Darth Maul, wasn't she? She knew all about the Jedi as he hadn't, and she knew she had power over Obi-Wan that he hadn't possessed.

Her only trouble was going to be fighting Anakin.

She killed the last of the droids and settled herself to stretch. Her muscles groaned but she breathed into the pain and refused to let it distract her. The droids hadn't been this easy at first, and certainly she would be challenged when it came time for the non-mechanical fighters. She longed for the challenge and refused to think much beyond each step. Her master would hold the fall of the Jedi and of the Republic off until it was time for her to make her appearance, so there was no concern about the future in her. And as for anticipation, she was of othe opinion that wanting one specific thing too badly was to preclude other, maybe sweeter endings. Only a fool would say "I want this, and only this, and everything else can melt". Focusing on just one goal might even lead her to ignore other paths to that goal or other, related triumphs.

Still, she was young enough to have these goals in the back of her mind all the time:

The painful death of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The death of the Chosen One.

The destruction of the Jedi Order.

She was embarrassed to have Obi-Wan's death be her number one goal and so she never discussed it with her master and barely allowed herself to think about it. He was nothing, especially in the name of achieving bigger goals. Maybe, she thought, he was a symbol of the downfall fo the Jedi. Or maybe he was just the last remnant of her old life. (That made no sense to her; she would have wanted to kill Yoda and burn the Temple.) So, left with no viable option, no clue as to why his death was her goal (not obsession, though that was the first word which had come to mind) she willed thoughts of his death far away.

As to the other two goals, she refused to think about them because she didn't know what was to come after the Jedi were destroyed and that spoke both of a lack of imagination and bloodlust. She had to have goals after the Jedi were gone; she just hadn't found that goal yet. And iin any case, to focus on one goal wasn't wise.

(If most Jedi masters had heard this circular thinking, they would have understood that she was not only floundering but drowning in deeper and deeper waters which could only lead to confusion or even insanity. But there was no Jedi master to help Annie Jinn-Kenobi, Annie Sith-mind. She had run away from or killed every master given her.)

When she was done stretching out, she left the training room and headed for the meditation area. Her master hadn't recommended that she meditate but it was only in meditation that she could find complete relief from pain and so she went to it several times a tday, reaching not out to the Force but into herself, stoking her hate. And it was in meditation that she allowed half-fanciful thoughts to cross her mind. She would see colors swirling when her eyes were closed and she was away from herself. She'd follow the colors until she was dizzy, then try a little directed meditation. This was harder than just drifting and sometimes she would find herself knocking again and again at the same door.

The door said 'Papa' and whenever she came back to herself and saw that she was once again knocking, oh so politely, at its solid weight, she would rush away from it, many times hard enough to shock herself out of meditation.

She reached the meditation room but even before she touched the panel that would open the door, she sensed someone within. It was a very young someone and she sensed that the being- human, female- was very afraid. Darth Sidious was there as well. Annie grimaced, confused, and went in.

Sidious stood in one corner, shrouded in hood and shadows (the meditation room where she lingered for several hours each day was closed, dark, oppressive, so different form the meditation rooms at Temple that many Jedi wouldn't have recognized its function. Her master had his hands hidden in his robes. He had shaken the sleeves down over his wrinkled hands and Annie was always glad each time she noticed this, not because she didn't like the sight of her master's hands (she rather enjoyed the proof of his advanced age) but because Obi-Wan, too, hid his hands occasionally, but did so by crossing his arms.

The youngling on the floor was barely clothed; the dirty rags on her body scarcely held together and must give her no warmth. She was very young, only a few days over a year, if that.

Annie looked at her for a time, feeling curiosity and a little disgust because the child stank.

"You have worked well to overcome your pain, my apprentice," Sidious said, "but there comes a time when such bravery and determination cannot be overcome without help." He gestured briefly at the baby. "If you take her life force into yourself, through her blood, your pain will stop for a time. Perhaps for as long as a week, you will continue to grow without suffering any of the agony that hampers you now."

"I feel no pain when I am training, Master."

"You do still feel it; it is only lessened."

"Why should I avoid pain? It will make me stronger."

"Yes, when you're awake. But you need to sleep to have more strength. And the better you sleep, my apprentice, the more quickly you will grow. You should have been sixteen by now. Time is short. Will you take her blood to be your food?"

As if there was any question. Annie went to the baby, picked her up in one arm, took a knife from her belt, and prepared for her feast.

oOo

Woda hadn't been allowed to stay and so whatever he and Obi-Wan were supposed to discuss went unsaid for the time being. Sleep, the medics had told the master. Rest. Recover. And when he had fallen- he shouldn't have been on his feet in the first place- Obi-Wan's injured leg had started to complain again. And so he had started by sitting on the couch, but that wasn't enough so he went to bed. And he slept. And he dreamed.

It was a confusing dream, though it was but one clear image. He saw, in a swirling cloud of black, white and every shade of grey, Annie wiping red jam from her mouth. No, it wasn't jam, but he refused to think of what it must be.

Then the dream went and he was awake, gasping, drenched in sweat. He had tangled the bedclothes around himself as he'd hardly done since his long-ago nightmares about Xanatos. And he sensed that maybe he'd called out in his sleep. Well, if he had, there was no one to hear him. It was early afternoon and Anakin was off on a mission with Ni, a mission that seemed to have more significance in Obi-Wan's heart than perhaps it did. Not everything that seemed to be a coincidence was orchestrated by the Force. Sometimes it was just a coincidence.

He claimed the image of the dream and closed his eyes, studying it. The swirling quality of the image's border reminded him strongly of how Anakin had often described his dreams, especially those dreams that had turned out to be premonitions.

Obi-Wan put his hands over his face, not to hide but to focus harder. He didn't want to think about the dream and so he _had_ to think about it.

He watched Annie wipe her mouth again and again and now he could do more than see; he could smell. Copper. Tangy and strong. Blood. She was wiping blood off her lips.

_She's been hurt, or will be hurt. _His heart tightened and he remembered being forced away from her both on Grievous's ship and also when the two of them confronted each other on the rooftops. He wanted her to be here, safe, so badly that he groaned aloud.

Then the image of her wiping her mouth was supplanted by a flash of sight and sound: Ryn-yn's death. Planned by Annie Jinn-Kenobi. And then, as he'd never seen, Reeft crying out and falling back, his skin melting under the handkerchief that Annie had pushed on him, knowing it would kill him, planning to kill him. Again, Obi-Wan groaned.

Then these images and sounds were gone and he saw Annie wiping blood from her mouth. It wasn't her blood. And she hadn't been spattered with gore in some battle. She had willingly, willfully drank this blood. He didn't know whose blood it was, but he thought it was an innocent's blood.

He sat up and his leg grumbled, warning him that if he tried to stand or even sit for awhile, he'd be doing more damage. He sighed, releasing his frustration to the Force. He'd chosen to fall here at Temple; hell, he'd set the plans for that fall in motion. He had no right to complain now.

He lay back down and snagged his comlink off the night table. "Obi-Wan to the Archives."

"How may I help you, Master Kenobi?" asked a young voice he didn't know. Some padawan was working in the Archives, then.

"I need to have any information the Archives possess on Force-induced growth, particularly in sentient beings."

There was a pause. "I'm not sure there's much, Master."

"Yes, I know. Please find what you can. As soon as possible. It's important."

"Of course, Master. I'll call you when I have something."

"Thank you, Padawan." He closed the connection. Now, what more did he need to know from the dream? That it was like Anakin's usual way of 'seeing' was disconcerting but it didn't prove anything. And yet, he'd acted as if it meant everything, hadn't he? He'd gone right to the Archives as if he'd seen Annie instead of dreaming he'd seen her.

"Ah, but I'm becoming more like Anakin: impulsive and jumping to conclusions. I hope he's only becoming more like me so that we still balance each other."

His thoughts returned to Anakin and Ni but he turned in another direction, not because he was concerned about the both of them but because it would be awhile yet before he saw Anakin and he refused to waste his 'waiting time' on things he could not change.

So he settled himself as if for sleep- he didn't expect to sleep, but he might- and focused on his breathing. His heartbeat slowed until his whole body was in harmony with itself and with his thoughts. And when this happened, instead of meditating, as he thought he would, he slept. This time he didn't dream.

oOo

They sat on either side of the round table in the tiny room at the Dor and Anakin watched Ni empty the pouch on the table. Whatever was here, he hoped they'd be led to Ni's lover and be quick in saving him. Through his connection to Obi-Wan (dimmed on both ends and battered by directionless Dark Force between) he sensed his lover was resting and that was good. But he wanted so badly to be in bed with Obi's head on his shoulder that it was nearly a physical ache. Never mind. Concentrate. This wasn't going to last forever.

Ni held up a small coin. "This is Coruscanti-made, true?"

Anakin took the coin and rolled it between his fingers. "Yes, but it hasn't been used in half a dozen centuries or more." He bit the coin, another Obi-gleaned bit of knowledge, and discovered that the coin was made of a soft, rare metal and not just plated, as he'd thought. That wasn't right for a coin of this type. "Where did you get this?"

"Jae-el left it on my bed the day he set out for the Separatists."

"Did he say where he was headed? Which planet?" The coin had to be worth fifty or even a hundred times its stated worth.

"No, only that he'd been called to follow them and so he would."

"Where would he get a coin like this? It looks like old Coruscanti currency but it's made of a valuable metal."

"I don't know. I assumed it was his way of telling me he was going to Coruscant."

Anakin set the coin aside, not dismissing it as Ni seemed to be but filing away with incongruence of apparent age coupled with an expensively-made, but still fake, coin. And, he reminded himself, somehow this coin had been obtained by a N'endari without much of a source of income. "Did he ever borrow money from you?"

Ni blinked. "Never. Sometimes I treated him to lunch and of course when we were together at a hotel, I paid for that, but he never asked money for just himself. And he would get mad if I tried to treat him to many things in a row. He wanted to be able to gie me everything as I could give it to him. I could never make him understand that what I really wanted was love and that was enough."

Anakin wondered how much of what Ni said was a creation- a comforting one- in the prince's mind. He filed it away. "All right. I didn't mean to offend you. What else have you got?"

Ni held out a piece of wood. "He carved this."

Anakin took it, weighing the wood and trying- with little success- to guess what kind it was. Then he forgot such mundane things and stared at the picture. It wasn't a stick figure or an almost-tree, something amateurish, but an intricate series of lines and shapes that he took at first for a Taubese design. Then he saw a shape so like the one on his lightsaber handle that he almost dropped the carving.

"What is it?" Ni leaned across the table.

Anakin studied the carving more closely before speaking. "It's a map," he said in some wonder. "Here's the Temple. Here's the Senate rotunda. And this…" He traced the lines, seeing both streets and air-lanes. "This is the street where we were earlier today… And this is the bar." He ran his finger around the carved circle. "I'm not sure but it makes sense." He frowned. It couldn't be this easy. He distrusted such simple answers. And so he put the carving down and held his hand out for the next item.

Ni stared at the little bit of wood for a moment, then he handed Anakin a stone.

Anakin turned this over in his hands. It was a naturally-made stone and though it had been broken in several places, its thick center seemed as if it would withstand almost anything. "What kind of stone is this?"

"It's Fregalan granite. I had that checked before I left."

Fregala… Where Obi and Qui-Gon had first made love (and Obi had gotten pregnant) and where Lindi Jinn-Kenobi was buried. And also, lest we are lost in fond or personal memories, the place where a concentration of Dark Force had drawn Obi and Qui-Gon so long ago that Anakin was shocked that he remembered it. Had the source of the Darkness concentration there ever been answered to anyone's satisfaction? He thought the answer was yes, but that affirmative answer didn't sit well with him.

Anakin set the granite aside. "What else?"

"Does Fregala-"

"What else?" What was it Obi had said? That the Jedi would fall within the year? That wasn't quite right but Anakin sensed that whatever his lover had said, the fall was closer to six months away than a year.

Ni took out three pendants all strung on a single, thick rope. "This I can explain." He laid it between them and pointed to the first. "This is my family crest." He pointed to the third. "That's our symbol for the Republic. We've never been much for following another culture's traditions exactly."

The symbol for the Republic, if there was such a thing, was a picture of the Senate rotunda. But this was an image of two large birds protecting their chicks. Except one of the chicks was trying to fly away and one of the parents was stretching out its neck to capture the escapee. Anakin found the image weirdly apt, especially as things had been in the Senate for the last fifteen or so years.

Ni pointed to the one in the middle. "I've always assumed this one is supposed to represent the Jedi."

The image was a man just about Anakin's age, maybe a year or two younger. He looked… young. That wasn't the right word for it and Anakin stared at the image so hard he thought his head would explode. He had no doubt that the image represented the Jedi Order. If young wasn't the right word, what was his mind trying to tell him? Innocent? Untried? Fragile? Naïve?

Yes. That last was closer. Naïve. This boy, and by extension, this Jedi Order, didn't know any of the old tricks. The Force was known and accepted and used, but- Yes, _used_. Not enjoyed or absorbed, but _used_. Anakin winced. He could almost see the rise the next wave of Darkness in this image.

But what it had to do with Ni's lover, he hadn't the faintest clue. "And where did you find this?"

"Jae-el has always had prophetic dreams. He said it was to compensate for the crippled way the Force made him."

"The Force didn't-" He stopped. "Never mind. "Go on."

"Can't you understand why he was bitter? The Jedi abandoned him."

As the former padawan of a Jedi whose very presence at Temple had once been continually questioned, Anakin thought he could understand some of Ni's sense of injustice. "I can see why he felt that way. Please go on."

"Jae-el made this for me. He said it wasn't to wear but to carry. He said the fibrous rope that's strung between the pendants is meant to represent the possibility of strong connections being unraveled."

"What prophetic dream told him about this?"

"I don't know. He sometimes didn't share his derams with me, thinking they would upset me." Ni sighed. "There were certain things we just couldn't talk about, no matter how much I promised to support and love him." He sighed. "Sometimes it seems that I shouldn't have someone." Then he shrugged and laughed a little. "I'm being sentimental and dull. Forgive me." He tapped the bit of almost-jewelry. "I'd assume this is meant to show my world's tie to the rest of the galaxy, via the Jedi Order, whom we have always trusted. Or nearly always."

"Ni," Anakin asked, moved by a sudden intuition, "would you ever become the leader of your people?"

The prince blinked at him. "Why?"

Anakin smiled to hide the urgency in his heart. "I have a hunch. Humor me." And, when Ni still looked unsure, "Obi taught me to always ask when I don't know an answer, even if the answer doesn't seem important to others."

"Yes, that sounds like him." Ni closed his eyes and tapped the middle pendant. "If all of my borthers and sisters were to die, then I would become king. I am not the youngest in my family, but I lost my place when I fell in love with Kento." He coughed. "Jael-el."

_Kento._ But he had no name-origins on which to draw this time. "Thank you for telling me." He was feeling, more and more, as if he was walking a tightrope. He had to be careful how he said things and exactly what he said. This, he realized, was a form of negotiation, and he decided to doubly hate it. The pussy-footing around was giving him a headache. And, on the heels that this understanding, his respect for Obi, who was called the Negotiator, rose tenfold. "Please, if there's anything else, I'd like to see it."

Ni took out a datapad. "Only the three letters he wrte me. I'll let you read them." He passed the padd into Anakin's hand. "They aren't long."

That was an exaggeration. Anakin read the letters in under a minute.

'Ni: I'm going to the Core. I've been called there. They seem to respect me more, or need me. I'll take advantage of that. Be well.'

'Ni: I want to be a smuggler! It's hilarious! You kill people when they get in your way and you don't worry about their spouses or little children.'

'Come, Ni. Please. I've left you clues. I need you here. Please. They're going to kill me. I love you.'

Anakin's gorge rose. He wanted to demand if Jae-el, Kento, had ever said he loved Ni before. Somehow he doubted it. Those three words had been calculated to pull heartstrings, to make sure Ni would come for him, no matter the danger. But even in the midst of his fury, he didn't dare ask. Instead, he returned the datapad. "He left some clues, but I still don't know where on Coruscant he is."

"But this was sent from the Orange District. That was on the transmission log."

"Can I see it?"

Ni keyed in a few commands and passed the pad back.

Anakin stared. The log was more specific than any spy's communiqué should be, and also more specific than most transmission laws were normally. He wondered if Jae-el had done that on purpose and decided it was more than likely. And, coincidences never cease: Anakin and Ni had been only two blocks from the place that Jae-el had been standing when he sent the letters. "He sent all three from the exact same location. We won't have any trouble finding him."

There was a sound outside their door. No more than a beep.

Anakin grabbed Ni and dragged him over to the bed. Throwing himself down, he pulled Ni on top of him. "Master, please. I need you. Please." All the while thinking, _Here's a lesson I'm sure Obi never meant to teach me. _Then, after a pause, _That wasn't fair. Obi never gave in._

Ni sat up and ripped Anakin's tunic from his chest. "You want it?" he snarled. "I haven't heard you beg quite enough yet."

Anakin pulled Ni down and wrapped his arms around him, doing his best to shield Ni's head. "Follow me," he breathed.

The beep was repeated. And the door exploded inward.

Anakin rolled off the bed away from the door, carrying Ni with him (the Taubese prince wasn't quite as heavy as he looked but he was heavy enough) and landed on top of the prince. He took the time to push Ni fully to the floor, then he came up in a crouch. "Don't move, Master. I don't think these are just salesmen."

Several droids charged in, blasters raised. "Drop your weapons," the leader ordered.

Anakin raised his empty hands. "We're not causing any trouble," he whimpered. "My master and I were just having a little tumble and-"

"Get up," the droid snapped, and then it stepped aside.

A giant of a man, wearing a mask over most his face and dressed for fancy dinners and expensive call girls, strode in. "I'm sure we can resolve this." He walked to the table and picked up the three pendants strung on their rope.

But Anakin had ceased to care what the masked man was doing because he knew that voice: Qui-Gon. Here. As if by magic. His shock was so great that he almost spoke. Then, mastering himself, he said, "Sir, I'm just a humble servant, but those are my master's things and I-"

"Get out," Qui-Gon said to the droids. "I can handle these two by myself." And he drew a blaster and pointed it at Anakin. "Get up, boy. Whatever illicit thing you and your disgusting master were doing is none of my business. I was supposed to have the use of this room this afternoon and you'll either clear out or you'll wake up on the other side of existence." He glared at the slowly-retreating droids, then turned the blaster on the nearest one, fingering off a shot that pinged against the doorknob. "Get out!"

The droids scurried.

Ni still hadn't moved and Anakin was grateful. The prince was taking his lead. When Obi was there, had he found the prince so accommodating and trusting of the Jedi? Probably he had. Sometimes the best allies were those that didn't try to be heroes but just facilitated smoothness to the best of their ability.

Qui-Gon turned to the door. "Unfortunate destruction." He sighed. "You. Boy. Come over here and put your master's things back in his bag."

Anakin stood, saying, "I think it's all right, Master. I don't think he's going ot hurt us." He went ot the table, looking at Qui-Gon for some sign or signal. But he couldn't determine anything through that mask and for just an instant, he doubted his own belief. Maybe this wasn't Qui-Gon. Maybe it just sounded like him because Anakin was so tired of playing pussy-foot negotiator and wanted someone else to take over for awhile.

As he packed the bag, the man behind the mask said, "Get up, Bel. Jael-el wants to see you." He chuckled. "Not that I won't make him pay through the nose for it, but he wants to see you so badly he'll tell me what I want to know."

Then Ni was on his feet, towering over everything, and he hurdled the bed, leaping at this man that probably wasn't Qui-Gon.

Anakin jumped between the two, reaching for his lightsaber.

The man seized his shirt and yanked him kiss-close. "Don't be a fool, Anakin," he hissed. Then he shoved Anakin into Ni and the two almost went down. "Pack the bag and follow me."

Feeling like that nine-year-old who had tagged along after Qui-Gon on Tatooine, Anakin glanced at Ni, offering him a small nod. Then he went to the bag and got everything inside. _Yeah, I'm the Chosen One. I can't even figure out who's friend or foe._ He hadn't been brought so low since the day Obi dragged him back from the midst of the Dark Force.

Qui-Gon when to the door, pushing what was left of it- one large chunk on the righthand side- off the hinge, he peered out, then glanced back at the two of them. "Follow me."

He didn't speak again until the three of them were in a speeder headed west. Away from the Tmple, Anakin noted.

Then the mask came off and Anakin relaxed. Even once his name had been spoken, he'd doubted. Now he saw Qui-Gon, tall and impressive.

Ni, more shocked than he was, gasped and cried out, "But… But you are dead!" Then, with a shake of his head, "What sort of trick is this? You can't be alive."

"I am, Prince Ni-kailo-Bel, and I'm here to get your help. Yours and another's." He glanced at Anakin. "You don't seem quite as surprised to see me, and you didn't seem so back in the room. Did you know I was coming?"

"Nothing you can would surprise me. I've known you're alive- we talked, remember? And I saw you here not long ago- and since then I've been waiting for you to show up again."

"I'm glad to see you've returned to the Temple."

To the Jedi way was what he meant, though he was too polite to bring attention to such a thing in front of a non-Jedi. Anakin flushed but controlled his emotions. "Obi helped me there."

"Yes, that was his task." A shadow of pain crossed his face in an instant and was gone. "I'm glad he woke in time to help you."

Anakin didn't know what to make of that shadow, so he filed it away. "Why are you here?"

"Making a place for the Jedi." Qui-Gon paused, turning the speeder down a narrow alley before flying out into the open again. "Anakin, there's much I need to tell you before we arrive but first, let me be a little selfish. How are things at Temple? Who have we lost, who lives, and how are those that survive?"

Anakin told him everything that came to mind: Annie's betrayal, the deaths of Garen, Siri and Reeft. He told of Ferus's 'leaving' the Jedi Order and that he wasn't sure exactly what the knight was supposed to be doing. And he told how Obi-Wan had facilitated Ferus's leaving.

Qui-Gon didn't interrupt. But when Anakin was finished, he said, "How is my Obi-Wan?"

Anakin blushed and looked away. "Qui-Gon…" Had Qui-Gon forgotten that Anakin and Obi-Wan loved each other? And how could Anakin explain that love? The answer to this second question seemed to be that he could wait and explain later. "He's fine. He's strong and healthy and strong in the Force. Don't fear for him. He knew about the…" aware of Ni, he hesitated "of what's going to happen to the Jedi soon. And he's as ready as any of us can be for that time. Don't worry for him."

"I know he's strong. I always knew." Qui-Gon sucked in a breath, blew it out. "I just didn't always act as though I knew." He glanced at Anakin. "And we're no longer together, Anakin. We met, in a way, a while ago. We willingly took different paths. And remember, you and I talked of your love. So it's wrong of me to think of him as Obi mine. It's only… It sometimes feels as if he still is. Not that I would ever take him from you, and not that I would ever ask him to share even a kiss with me, but he still feels like my Obi-Wan. When the Force told me that it wasn't my destiny to be with him… That was the hardest thing I've had to learn while I've been away. Serving the Force wasn't hard in anything else. Even being away wasn't hard. But knowing sometimes that he was in danger and I couldn't go to him, or knowing that he and I would never be together again… Those things were very hard."

Anakin didn't know what to say and he couldn't meet Qui-Gon's gaze. It shamed him to realize that he'd never thought of this possibility Qui-Gon still loving Obi after all this time and after all that had happened. He'd been so relieved to find that Qui-Gon lived, that he'd never considered what might happen if Qui-Gon returned and still felt something beyond a new friendship for his former lover.

"And now he uses his perceived weaknesses to lay traps for the enemies of peace." Qui-Gon shook his head. "I never wanted to live to see the day when my innocent Obi-Wan would have to behave in that manner." He shifted in his seat. "Anakin, have you made love to him?"

Oh shit. There was no way he was going to tell those details. "Yes."

Again Qui-Gon paused. "Who… No, I won't ask that." He sighed. "I thought I had come to terms with this, but seeing you, knowing he's so close… I can smell him on your clothes."

Anakin blushed crimson and resisted the urge to lift the rages of his shirt to his nose to see if he, too, could smell that subtle thing that was his lover's scent. If he could, why hadn't he been conscious of it before? He felt guilty for not noticing something Obi's former lover did. Then he tried to give his guilt into the Force. But it didn't all go and he was conscious of jealousy hiding within it.

"This is very awkward for me," Ni said suddenly from the back seat of the speeder. "I, too, have loved Obi-Wan, though never physically. We kissed, but that is all. And to know that you have both been with him, and that you are now uncomfortable with each other, makes me uncomfortable. I doubt Obi-Wan would want you to feel so confused and unsteady around each other."

Qui-Gon coughed. "You're right. It isn't Jedi-like. Thank you, Your Majesty." He glanced at Anakin. "But this isn't over between us. We'll have to talk it out. Or agree to work it out alone until it's gone. There's no way we could approach Obi…Wan with this so obviously between us. I never wanted anything to come between us, Anakin. I respect you and care for you."

Anakin breathed out a little more of his guilt and a tiny bit of his jealousy. "I'll work through it for awhile. Depending on how this mission goes, I'll try to have it gone from my heart before the end of our work together. Then, when we go back to Temple together, we won't hurt Obi with our stupidity." He hoped that last didn't sound too judgmental of Qui-Gon. He'd applied the term to himself as well. Clearing his throat a little, as Qui-Gon had done, he said, "Thanks, Ni. We needed that."

Ni didn't respond.

Qui-Gon said, after a moment of uncomfortable silence, "You'll be serving the Separatists. At least, on the surface. Anakin, you'll be Ni's slave. I'll get you a mask to wear. Your duty will be to see and not be seen. We're going to bust this cell wide open."

"But do you want to drive them all away to other hiding places?" Ni asked.

"No. We won't do something so destructive. But we need an excuse for our operatives- and you tell me Ferus is one of them- to move to cells that we don't know about. Maybe even one of these will be in contact with Darth Sidious and we can learn his identity."

o--o

Author's Note: A little teaser. The next chapter is called "Xanatos and the Plans for the Survivors."


	56. Xanatos and the Plans for the Survivors

**Author's Note:** Thank you to darthlord325 for pointing out that I made two copies of the same chapter. I wonder if Obi-Wan ever had days like this? Anakin wouldn't- not with all his technical expertise. Thank you again.

Five Years (Xanatos and the Plans for the Survivors)

Padme wore just about anything beautifully, but Xanatos thought his favorite outfit was the silvery dress in which he'd first seen her. It was a nightdress and that was a pity because it meant that she spent more time in other flattering clothes. Again, the sight of her in anything (or nothing, he reflected) was a joy for his eye and a distraction that made him forget the rest of the universe for a few moments, but that silver nightdress showed off her shoulders and made her look completely at home and calm, as if she was merely waiting for her lover to come home.

He had touched the babies inside with some part of the Force (he didn't know which half, and though this should have unsettled him, it was enough to have touched her for that instant) and he didn't care about the babies in and of themselves, but they gave her joy and a little unease, so he cared about them.

But she was so beautiful…

Crouched on the balcony, hidden by a large planter, he watched Padme Amidala entertain. She drifted from couch to chair and talked about all topics from her visitors' personal health to the health of the Republic. Xanatos could have learned enough to see that she was jailed for speaking against the Chancellor now and then, but he didn't care what she said. Her lips moved; her body swayed. That was what held him.

Until she was alone with a Gungan who seemed to be her assistant. Then she started to talking about things that were pertinent to him. And which made him uncomfortable.

The Gungan started it. If Xanatos could have squinted with his ears, he would have. He hated the Gungan's dialect; it made him want to separate the duck-thing's head from its body. But then the Gungan brought up her obviously-pregnant condition and Xanatos leaned closer to hear her answer.

"Whoosa baby isssit?" the Gungan asked.

Padme rested her hands on her stomach. "It's a baby of peace, Jar Jar. I can't tell you whose baby it is, but it will help fight the Darkness."

Jar Jar glanced out to the balcony (Xanatos, well-hidden, didn't stir). "It'sa not that dark out, Senator."

She laughed and her laughter made Xanatos's heart melt a little. He steeled himself against the sensation as she spoke.

"That's not what I meant. The Jedi talk of a Darkness coming and when it does, these-this baby will help us recover."

"Issa not understanding."

She smiled a little. "It's all right. I don't completely understand it myself."

"Do youssa lovin the father?"

"More like the father's lover, if anyone, and only him like a… different sort of father. To me. Not to my baby."

"Obi issa da father?"

Xanatos wanted to throw up. No. Obi-Wan had _not_ beaten him to this woman he wanted so badly.

Padme shook her head. "Not Obi-Wan. He's with Anakin, remember?"

"But youssa said…" Jar Jar blinked owlishly. "Annie?"

She sighed. "Anakin, yes. But you can't tell anyone, Jar Jar. Do you understand me?"

The Gungan nodded. Ten minutes later, he left.

Padme went to the balcony and gazed out at the city. "If you're listening, Force, I'm sorry, but I had to tell him."

"I doubt the Force cares, one way or the other, unless this little leak messes with Its plans."

To her credit, Padme only jumped a little, the top of her silvery nightdress slipping down a little to show the tops of her breasts. And she didn't jerk it back into position but turned away from him so she could adjust the nightdress with some discretion. "What are you doing here, Xanatos?"

Mmmm… His name on her lips was pleasant. He'd never liked his name, made as it was from two Telosian words: 'xan' meant 'dumb beast of burden, more aptly jackass, and 'atos' meant slave. His father had chosen the name for him shortly after Xanatos accidentally killed his mother. He'd once been called Xane, which, with just that extra e at the end, meant 'redeemed.' The product of rape he might be, but his mother had still loved him. Her mistake had been in marrying his father.

And Xanatos's mistake had been in killing her to save her. Then he'd been dumped on the Temple steps, much like Obi-Wan had- oh, ironies never cease!- by a father who called him a monster and a waste of space. The fact that Qui-Gon had never been able to break the code into the sound files that held both Obi-Wan's history and Xanatos's was almost hilarious. Or maybe Qui-Gon had just decided to try and move forward with an already tainted vessel. Both Xanatos and Obi-Wan had been doomed from the first.

And yet, somehow Obi-Wan had survived until now, without so much as slipping towards the Darkness instead of plunging into it.

"I thought only the Jedi meditated."

Her sweet voice, melodious even in irritation, brought him back to himself. "Forgive me," he said with a charming smile. "I sometimes drift off that way." He slipped around the edge of the planter and sat on the balcony's railing, his hands in his lap, far from his holstered 'saber. "How are you? It's been a long day."

"You've been watching me for several hours, haven't you?"

His smile grew. "Yes. Qui-Gon sent me here the first time, but now that he's off on a mission of his own, I have the freedom to do what I want."

"Are you his apprentice again?"

Xanatos laughed. "No. Never. But he's pulled me back in. I don't know how it happened or even why, but I feel no need to leave him just yet. Working with him is always exciting. One wonders how Obi-Wan could grow up to be so boring after living as Qui-Gon's padawan for so long."

"If you want to stay, you won't talk about Obi-Wan."

"I said nothing against him." He laughed. "Well, all right, so I said he's dull, but that wouldn't bother him so why let it bother you?"

She turned her back on him. "If you keep talking about him, I won't talk to you."

"I've been content to watch you all day. Why do you think I need you to talk now?"

She went to the couch and settled herself there, closing her eyes and sitting completely still.

Xanatos studied her beautiful back and the tumble of her unbound hair in the light from behind him, then nodded to himself as he slipped off the balcony and crossed to the couch. "All right. No more talk about Obi-Wan." He sat beside her. "What would you talk about, Padme Amidala?"

She turned to face him and he wanted so badly to take her hands in his that he crossed his arms in an effort to make his hands behave themselves.

She said, "Why are you here?"

"To watch you. To listen to you."

"Are you here to fix something?"

"I've broken nothing of yours, fair lady." How could he have ever thought he was attracted to Obi-Wan Kenobi, even a little? Fair he was, but only fair for a man, and not even close to the fairest of all men. This woman was brilliant and beautiful and so perfect, like a song that only Xanatos was supposed to sing or hear.

"Maybe you need to fix yourself."

_Light, _he heard in Obi-Wan's broken voice as the master was brought close to destruction by those Xanatos had hired. Then, stronger, like the Obi-Wan he'd met only yesterday, _Light. And Darkness. Balance. In the Force, there should be balance. _And, as if he needed to hear anything else, he heard pubescent Obi-Wan, just after he was raped for that first time, saying, _The Force is strong in you. Go with it instead of with yourself. If you want to be strong, not for yourself but for Padme, go with the Force._

Idiocy. Obi-Wan had never said any of those things.

But hearing them in Obi-Wan's voice, almost always the voice of damned reason, was touching his heart more than hearing the words in his own mental voice and he was honest enough with himself to accept this as truth. "Damn you, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Padme turned away from him.

Xanatos caught her hand. "Wait. I wasn't trying to break my word. It's just that..." How much could he tell her? _None of it_ seemed to be the right answer, but when she glanced at him, suspicious and curious, he had to tell her some of it. "He never looked at the Darkness, Obi-Wan didn't. And now that I'm… looking at the Light-" he never thought he'd say that- "I hear the call of the Light in his voice. Because he's the only Jedi I've ever known intimately who didn't fall to the Darkness at least once or twice. Even Qui-Gon did; he rescued Obi-Wan from being raped by breaking a Force-collar with the Dark Force." He sighed. "Beautiful lady, I could come to the Light, but it's hard for me to have to listen to Obi-Wan's voice, even when it's not really his voice. We were so similar in so many ways and I just didn't take the right…" His throat closed. He coughed. "Path. The right path." He drew back from her, more than shaken. "Enough about him. You're right. Let's talk about something else."

Padme took his hand and having her touch him instead of the other way around made him sweat. He found, to his shock and horror, that he was in great danger of blushing, and only held her gaze with fierce self-control. "I don't frighten you anymore?" he asked.

She said, "Of course you do. I don't know you. But you're afraid, too. What did you mean when you said you and Obi-Wan are the same?"

"Similar," he said, thinking that he could never be just like Obi-Wan, the smallest reason not being that he didn't want to be like his former-whore/Jedi-he-might-admire.

"All right, similar."

He lost the battle with his control and looked down at his hand on hers. "We both had terrible families. His parents- both of them- sexually abused him."

There were some phrases from Obi-Wan's first-ever discussion with Yoda, that he'd never forget and now they came back to haunt him like he'd once wanted his death to haunt Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan, three years old but decently articulate: _I walked bud-naked a lot._

And: _I never slept alone at night._

Or, somehow worse: _If I cried, Mama spanked me._

He blocked the memories as best he could. "I wasn't molested, but my father hated me. I killed my mother- it was an accident; that's something I've never been confused about- but he hated me even before then.

"I killed her with the Force." He closed his eyes, able to see An'Gi Cleer as she'd been that beautiful winter's day, choking on something her husband had given her as the snow fell silently outside. Then he saw his own chubby child's hand lifted as he called on the power he didn't understand to save her. He tried to pull the food from her throat and pulled out more than food. He'd never seen so much blood again, not until he started killing after leaving the Jedi at the age of sixteen.

"I didn't mean to. I was trying to save her."

She moved closer; he could feel the warmth of her body pressed so close that some of his chill went away. "I'm sure she didn't blame you."

He blinked and, freed from the darkness of his closed lids, gaped at her. "You're not going to ask me what I did?"

"No. That's between you and the Force."

"The Force doesn't care what I did."

"Maybe not, but I'm sure it cares if you're trying to save lives or destroy them. And I think you've decided to save them. Right?"

He stared at her, shocked out of his memories and pain. "I…" It came out as a broken sigh. Then, mustering his voice, he said, "Yes."

oOo

Woda watched Master Obi-Wan stretching out his injured leg under the watchful eye of an elderly doctor. As soon as Obi-Wan was done with his physical therapy, Woda would pounce, insisting that they talk now. He hadn't gone to his Yoda or Mace with his concerns because they involved his parents and he didn't want to hurt them. His mental age was now about fourteen human years, and a very mature fourteen at that. Because his physical age didn't change, he suffered none of Annie's pain, but he was often confused by how quickly his perceptions changed. The common, child's idea that days stretched forever had never been part of Woda's life. He might have missed it if he'd known what it meant: endless time, at least from dawn to dusk, but he didn't know, so he only felt as if everything was happening at once and this feeling he blamed on the war.

"All right, Master Kenobi. Stand."

Obi-Wan did so, slowly, and when he was on his feet, and nodded as he tested his leg. "It's much better. Thank you."

"I'd like to see you move as you would in a battle. Leap for me, please."

Obi-Wan glanced at Woda and offered him a wink. Then he leapt over Woda (not so hard, since Woda was still less than two feet tall) and kept going until he touched the ceiling. Then he landed, gently, elegantly, before returning to the doctor.

"Hmm. It's better. Do you feel any pain?" He glared at Obi-Wan as though he would lie.

"The wound isn't throbbing, but I felt it stretch when I came down." Obi-Wan ran his hands over his leg. "It doesn't hurt to touch it and it's not going to open again, I don't think."

"No, it won't do that. I've done my job too well for that." He frowned and used his own hands to explore Obi-Wan's leg.

The master didn't tense, but he looked away. If this was part of his acting like he didn't want to be touched, it was brilliant. The doctor said, in a gentler voice, "I'm not going to hurt you." Then he stepped back. "All right. I'm giving you a clean bill of health. But please make sure that the next time you hurt yourself you're prepared to rest _immediately_."

"If I'm allowed to rest, I will do so." Obi-Wan bowed. "Thank you for everything."

"Hmm. Go on. And take the child with you. He might lose his senses and decide to get hurt, too."

And with that, they were finally out of the medical rooms. Woda bounced along beside Obi-Wan, using a combination of his own muscles and the Force. He was getting fairly good at timing his leap-walking, but sometimes he'd lose his place and collide into a wall or face-plant. But today he was able to hold himself upright and keep from getting hurt.

He didn't speak until Obi-Wan, without having to be asked, led the way to the garden of Light and settled himself on a bench.

Woda jumped up beside him. "I want to talk about a dream I had."

Obi-Wan nodded, then slipped off the bench and sat, cross-legged, beside it so that he and Woda, who stayed on the bench, were eye-to-eye. "I'm here to listen."

"I'm a space pirate in the dream. Like a smuggler, but I steal from just about anybody. Well, okay, only this one group of people, but they're spread everywhere."

"What group of people?"

"I don't know."

"Go on."

One thing he loved about Master Obi-Wan: he gave you his full attention and consideration when you talked. It was like he'd been wired for listening. "I'm all by myself, but I know other people. Friends, some of them, others just acquaintances." Now the hard part. "I'm not much older than I am now. Maybe a year, maybe not that much older. The ship I'm in is built specifically for me. And Papa and Daddy aren't there. I don't think they're dead; I think they're just not there." He twisted his hands together, his sharp claws clicking, then stopped because he was showing how he felt and that wasn't the Jedi way. "I don't know how to tell them. I mean, I'm not trying to believe them and maybe this was all just a dream, but if it's not, shouldn't I warn them?"

"How many times have you had this dream?"

"Twice."

"Have you recorded both dreams?"

"No… Should I?"

"Record the next one you have. And the next. Soon you'll see what's a pattern, what comes from your daily life, and what might be the truth that the dreams have to tell. If you want to tell Mace and Yoda now or later, that's a decision only you can make. But here's the criteria to decide if you should tell: what's best for your peace of mind, their peace of mind, and what would the Force want you to do? You'll find the answer to the first by searching your heart, the answer to the second by remembering what you know of your parents, and the third by searching both your heart and seeking a deeper connection to the Force. None of these things is easy, but they're the only way to answer the questions honestly and completely." He smiled a little, easing the seriousness of all he'd just said. "Do you want my personal opinion of your dreams?"

Woda nodded. "Please."

"I think you're a flier and a fighter like Anakin and that the hiding that awaits many Jedi in the coming years is not for you. But I'm going to give you this warning, and if you ever need to hera it again, just ask: be careful. Of your ties to others, of how you present yourself, of what you show of your Force-sensitivity and how far you've already come in the way of the Jedi. And be aware that some will understand that not only are you one of Yoda's race, but possibly related to him, and after the Jedi are scattered, that will most likely give you more hardships than help." Then he was silent, just watching Woda.

He wanted to tell Obi-Wan what else he'd seen but wasn't sure he dared voice it because then he'd have to think about it.

"Woda, what is it?" Gentleness. Kindness. Surety.

Woda looked away. "I dreamed that you die." He peeked at the Jedi Master, expecting to see shock or disbelief. Instead, he saw sadness.

"Yes, I've seen it, too. And Anakin has seen it in his dreams."

"Then you're definitely going to die!" Woda almost sobbed.

"No. Dreams mean many things. I may go the way Qui-Gon went: disappear for awhile. Or I might die. Or maybe this is only something that we all expect to happen. I don't kid myself, Woda: the Dark Force wants me dead. So it might just be a Dark-sent dream, hectoring all of us like a two-bit salesman. We don't know if anything is destiny until it happens, and most of the time not even then.

"I have moments of doubt, too, Woda. Yesterday, before Ferus and I… danced, I was thinking about the sense I've had, a pervading sureness, that I'm going to die before this year is out. But after everything was set in motion and Ferus escaped, that sense of doom was gone. It may have been a product of my own thoughts or sent by the Darkness, but whatever it was, it is gone now and that means it was groundless. Sometimes, all-pervading concerns are nothing but smoke."

"But the Jedi should be able to tell the difference." Woda bit his lip. "Shouldn't we?"

"And in happier days, we could. But this is one aspect, one proof, of the rising Dark Side. It's not just a phrase, Woda. The Dark Force is gaining strength. It will affect us. Our duty now is to try and remember what the Light would have said, and what the Force as a whole says. Only then can we have a better chance of doing the right thing."

Woda considered all of that. Obi-Wan was almost as confusing as Anakin said he was, and not because he used big words like 'pervading.' It was that the concepts the master was trying to put into words were so complicated that talking about them in a more dumbed-down version would almost be a lie. "I'll think about it," he said. "About the dreams and about how to follow the Force." He scooched forward on the bench so he could reach out and touch Obi-Wan's shoulder. "You're not angry with me that I don't think I'll be a Jedi?"

"The Jedi aren't the only good people in the universe. And if being a Jedi is not your path, it's good to know that now."

"How did you know when you were meant to be a Jedi?"

"The second time I saw Master Yoda."

Woda blinked. "Not the first?"

"No. The first time I was afraid of him. Because he was another-" He sighed. "That's something I'm uncomfortable sharing with you, Woda. Not because I don't trust you but I'm always hesitant to share my past."

Woda looked down. "I understand."

But he didn't, and seemingly Obi-Wan knew, because he said, "Young one, let this explanation be enough: I hadn't met anyone I could trust- even a little- until I met Yoda and he proved to me, by taking away some of my pain, that I could look outside myself for reliance. If I hadn't been given that understanding very early on, I might have followed a much different path."

"Like the Jedi who leave?"

"Like some of them." Obi-Wan stood. "Forgive me, young one, but I think I'm being called."

Woda frowned. "I don't hear anything."

"Neither do I, but-" His communicator buzzed and he opened it. "Kenobi."

"You are needed in the Council Chamber, Master Kenobi."

"I'll be there shortly."

"Cro out."

Obi-Wan closed his comlink. "Do you mind if I walk you back to the younglings' common room?"

No, not really. He wanted to just wander around. But that the Temple was no longer completely safe was something he'd understood for weeks. He nodded and hopped off the bench. "So, you might live?"

"I might."

"Does Anakin know about your dreams?"

Obi-Wan seemed to consider. "I'm not sure he does. But I'll tell him if I get a chance."

oOo

Anakin sat in the speeder, frustrated and wanting to pace, waiting for Qui-=Gon and Ni to appear with Jae-el. Qui-Gon had been carefully masked, and Ni would blend in, as much as an eight or nine foot giant could do. But Anakin might be recognized, Qui-Gon thought, even with a mask. Anakin doubted this and wondered why he was really being forced to stay behind. It was so much like being with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan during the days that he'd had two masters that he wanted to scream.

Someone was coming; he saw the hood before he saw anything else. The person under that hood moved like a lynx: all smoothness and deadly precision. Anakin didn't look at the figure directly but continued to stare ahead as if he had nothing better to do.

The figure reached the speeder and a brown hand passed a datapad to Anakin, who took it. "We found General Grievous."

Arnen. "Gareth is well."

A nod. "The transmission Ferus sent bounced back. I don't think we're going to be able to reach Temple electronically anymore, at least not until we're dispersed off Coruscant."

"I'll tell Yoda."

Another nod. "Tell Gareth I love him." And he turned away, walking quickly.

A rapid-fire weapon sputtered to life and Arnen ducked, then fell to his knees.

Anakin froze, but only for an instant. Then he was up and leaping at the sniper, his lightsaber ignited.

The sniper pulled up his weapon. "Jedi. I didn't know."

Anakin looked at the hoverchair-bound man. "You shot him."

"Yes. And it's good that I did. He's not one of your spies anymore. He's turned to the Dark Side." He glanced past Anakin. "And now he's gone."

Anakin turned and saw that Arnen had made himself scarce.

"If anyone was watching, they'll either decide that he's a spy, which means he'll be hunted down and killed, or they'll decide he and I were working together to kill you and he lost his nerve. Which means he won't be trusted from now on."

Absolutely complacent. Not caring whether Arnen lived or died. "I need to go after him." He deactivated his lightsaber.

The man reached out and caught Anakin's arm. "Don't. He risked his life to deliver whatever he was delivering; he knew the risks. If he dies, he'll die in the Force."

"Yeah, and away from his lover."

"Ah, so the rumors are true. The Jedi are allowed to love." The man laughed. "Well, I never thought I'd see the day. Maybe if the Jedi had known more about love, they wouldn't have sent me away."

"Jae-el?"

The man raised an eyebrow.

"Kento?" He wanted so badly to go after Arnen, make sure he was all right, and warn him of the danger coming that his stomach ached. But here was the man Ni wanted, the one who had begged for someone to come and rescue him.

"Ni sent you." Kento sighed. "All right; I didn't think he'd get here quite so fast. Where is he?"

"Inside."

"You sent him in alone?"

"He insisted." Maybe it was wrong that he didn't tell Jae-el/Kento about Qui--Gon, but Anakin didn't trust this crippled S.O.B. as far as he could throw him. "Why do you need help?"

"That's not something I'm prepared to discuss without Ni."

"And now I have a message to deliver to Temple." Anakin picked the man up, chair and all, and carried him towards the speeder.

"You know, I can get there myself. And I could fight you, Force against Force."

"Shut up and act like the hostage I'm making you. If you want to live, that is." He dumped Jae-el unceremoniously into the back of the speeder, folding up the hoverchair with the help of the Force. Then he leapt into the pilot's seat and took off.

"You're angry with me, Jedi. You shouldn't be. Anger is a way to the Dark Side."

"Fuck you. You just got a man killed, or at the very least compromised his mission." Anakin shot upwards into faster traffic. "Yeah, I'm angry. Furious, even. Because lovers shouldn't be separated or killed."

"Their lives are worth more to you? You must have a lover of your own."

Anakin didn't answer, only flew. He took them to the main landing platform at Temple, keying in the code so he'd be let in and not shot down. When his code was bounced back to him with an all-clear signal, he headed in, missing the days when codes weren't necessary. He sent another message: for a security detail.

By the time he landed, Bant and three other Jedi were there to meet him. Anakin held out the datapad, but she said, "Go directly to the Council Chamber. We'll take care of this runaway." She grimaced at Jae-el. "I never thought I would see you again."

Jae-el laughed at her as his chair was lifted out of the speeder and he was lifted out after it. "Well, Master Bant. It's been a while."

Anakin wondered if he should stay, but Bant looked grim. He left the platform.

Two minutes later, he was outside the Council Chamber and he touched the chimes. The doors parted before him and he strode inside. He saw Obi-Wan at once, seated among the other masters, a member of the Council for real now, not just in name. Anakin didn't think he'd actually seen Obi-Wan sit Council since the position had been conferred. He bowed to all the gathered masters. "Arnen gave me this. Grievous has been found."

Yoda gestured to Obi-Wan, who stood and took the pad from Anakin. He touched it to life.

Anakin glanced at him and saw that his lover looked remarkably well for a man who had been 'raped' only six hours ago. He wondered if Obi-Wan was playing the I-must-hide-injury-because-I'm-a-Jedi card and thought it more than possible. He was glad to see his lover walking with comfort again.

Obi-Wan nodded and cleared the pad. "If we can stop him, we can either end this war or at least get the Chancellor out of office." He bowed to the rest of the Council. "I should leave immediately."

Mace nodded. "Agreed. May the Force be with you." He glanced at Anakin. "You should return to your mission."

Anakin bowed. "Yes, Master." He turned and followed Obi-Wan from the room. But when they were alone in the corridor, he caught his lover's arm. Finding his lover's shields down, he sent, _If you see Gareth before I do, tell him Arnen's alive. But he might not be for much longer. Jae-el, Ni's lost lover? He set things up so Arnen either lost his cover or lost face with the Separatists._

Obi-Wan sighed. _If I see him, I'll pass along the message. _He took Anakin's hand.

"You're going to need me on this one."

"Oh, I agree. But it may turn out to be just a wild bantha chase." He met Anakin's gaze and they both knew better. "I love you."

Anakin frowned, hearing the warning and finality in his lover's voice. "Obi, you can defeat Grievous."

"It's not Grievous I fear. But I doubt I'm going to see you before one of us meets Annie. Please be careful around her, Beloved. I'll do the same. And may the Force be with you." He turned and strode towards the nearest 'lift.

_Hey! You can't just leave-_ But Obi-Wan's shields were back up. So Anakin gave chase. His heart beat almost fast enough to make him see spots. It was fear for his lover, but also the exhilaration he always felt before battle. He was so hard he could barely run. But run he did. He followed Obi-Wan into the 'lift, waited until the doors had closed, then reached out to the machinery with the Force. He touched the gears and slowed them until they stopped. The car shuddered to a halt.

"Anakin…" But Obi-Wan was grinning. "What are you doing?" Some of the tension had gone out of his expression, replaced by heat.

_He feels it, too._ It almost seemed wrong to do this now, knowing that Arnen and Gareth would almost certainly not see each other again. But being hyper aware of what he might lose was strangely a turn-on. _Maybe not that strange. I like living my life on the edge. _"Put your shields down. I'll put a strong one around us."

_What are you planning?_

Obi-Wan trusted him to keep the Darkness from reading their thoughts. Without hesitation he trusted. A thrill ran down Anakin's spine to his groin. He used his command of the Force to open Obi-Wan's tunic. _There's no way I'm going to let you march off into certain danger without showing you one more time how much I love you._

The 'lift rang with Obi-Wan's laughter. And he dropped his trousers. _Then show me. And I'll show you._

oOo

Gareth, deep in meditation, was shocked out of his trance by this certainty: Arnen needed him. That it was straight from the Force and not something made up in his own mind was never in doubt. The doubt came from this question: which side of the Force was calling him, or was it the whole Force? Well, whichever it was, he couldn't ignore the call.

He got up and went to his pack, checking it for bacta patches as well as other healing instruments. He had plenty of each, and he snagged a set of fresh, un-Jedi-like clothes from his lover's closet. Thus packed, he dressed as any farmer in the big city for the first time, concealing his lightsaber. He snatched up his pack and left his quarters.

He had already ceased to think of them as his quarters. And he didn't look at the few trinkets he'd collected since his padawanship. None of them meant anything when his lover was in danger.

He strode to the sheltered garden where the lightsaber crystals grew and here slowed his pace and his thoughts. Dropping to his knees before the crystals, leaving his pack some distance back, along with his lightsaber, he called on the Force. _This isn't my task: to pluck crystals for another's lightsaber. But so much has changed. I must rescue my lover. And I do not think we will be returning here. Please help me find the crystals his weapon needs._

He waited in silence for several moments, refusing to be impatient, letting his concern for Arnen fall by the wayside so he could be completely open to the call of the Force. And his patience was rewarded as four crystals- two pristine white, two lavender, glowed for a brief moment. _Four?_ he asked, not sure he would receive an answer.

_Two for you and two for Arnen._

_Thank you._ He plucked the crystals, wrapped them in cloth, and returned to his bag. When the crystals were safely stored, he turned away from the crystal garden and headed for the door out into the corridor.

"Wait a moment you should."

Gareth faced Yoda and bowed. "Master."

"Planning to go off on your own you are?"

The master nodded. "Forgive me, but I must."

"Agree I do, though for different reasons than perhaps you hold." Yoda limped closer. "Obi-Wan another task has been given. Return to Temple he may not before scattered the Jedi are. His task to you has been given."

"The younglings?" So he would be returning here. But not without Arnen.

"Into your hands their fate has fallen. Into your hands and into Arnen's."

Gareth breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Hmmmph. All the Darkness cannot break our connection completely. Chosen you have been. Rescue Arnen you should, then bring him back to Temple." He held out a datapad and Gareth took it. "Here the plans for the younglings are. Follow them the two of you will. Protect the younglings you will." He paused, and Gareth had the feeling that Yoda had expected to say this to Obi-Wan, not to him. "Like your children they will be."

Confused by that thought- how could he assume anything about Yoda's thoughts?- he bowed. "Yes, Master."

"May the Force be with you."

"And may the Force be with you, Master." Gareth waited for Yoda to turn away, but when he didn't, the younger master- he was nearing his fiftieth birthday, and he'd never felt so old- turned and left.

oOo

Bant settled herself across from Kento. They sat together in the quarters she'd shared with Reeft for three weeks. The younger man wouldn't look at her and she wasn't sure if she wanted to see his eyes or was grateful for his discretion. Of perhaps it wasn't discretion at all. He might just be trying to contain his fury and found averting his eyes the easiest way to accomplish that goal. Well, she wouldn't learn unless she asked. But first: "Anakin picked you up in the Orange District?"

He shrugged. "So? I don't answer to the Jedi anymore. And I never answered to you."

That was true. Except, in a way, he had. "We once played together."

"Played? You were the teacher showing me, Nela, Ferus, Arnen and Force knows how many other younglings how to use Force toys. And, as I recall, you spent time with us inconsistently. We never knew when you would be there. The only things we knew were that you'd come back eventually and that you knew how to teach us how to succeed." He grunted. "And don't take that as a compliment: it's only truth. Then, suddenly, I wasn't good enough for Temple and I was sent away."

"You weren't pick up by a master. That's why you were sent away."

"No, it's because I'm not what a Jedi's supposed to be: strong and perfect in every feature and desirable to anyone who looks at him, either because of his looks or his wisdom. Well, I didn't get the chance to acquire that second trait and no one likes how I look."

"If you're going to play the pity game, I can just have you thrown in a cell."

"You won't, though. You feel responsible for me. Because I was one of your better students and still you chose Nela over me."

"You were gone before I decided to choose a youngling. And I didn't send you away. As I recall, you told Master Windu you were more than ready to go."

He shrugged. "Believe what you want to believe."

He was trying to get under her skin and it was working. Not because she felt guilty for not choosing him as her padawan, but because of Reeft. Everything still came back to Reeft. Sometimes she wondered if death would be easier than living without him. Not that she would ever disobey the Force, but… Everyone had abandoned her. Even Obi-Wan had things he needed to tend to and that just left no time for her.

She released her grief into the Force and it came back a hundredfold. She winced, then smoothed her features. "How are you mixed up in all this? I thought your goal was to get as far away from the Jedi as possible."

"I fell in love with a Taubese prince who loves a Jedi. Lucky me."

She wanted to pick apart that statement; he couldn't be serious, and not just because he'd never learned how to love. But she resisted and asked, "What do you want us to do with you?"

"Ah, the royal _us_. As if one Jedi can't decide what to do without polling the Council first." He snorted I don't miss that part of the Order." Then, when she didn't respond, he added, "I expect you to let me go. I'm helping with a Jedi-conducted plan, even if I didn't mean to at first and even if I don't want to. Ni loves the Jedi- well, one Jedi- and I won't let him down."

"You love him so much you're putting your distaste for the Jedi aside? How noble of you."

"Yes. It is, isn't it?" But his eyes, blind or now, seemed to search her face. And she had the feeling that he was seeking something, either through the Force or within his own intuition. And he seemed to find it. "I'm stronger than you think, Master Bant, and though I'll never come back to the Jedi, even if all of you were on your knees begging, I'm not your enemy. I am for Ni, and I will do anything in his name. And what he wants is for the Jedi to survive."

"Because he loves one Jedi in particular." She had a pretty good idea who that might be; it just made too much sense to be anyone other than Obi-Wan. And besides, hadn't that being she'd met at the front entrance to the Temple been Taubese?

"Well, there's that, but I'd be lying if I said that was his only reason. You see, crazy in love as Ni is, and unprepared as he would be to take the kingship, he believes in peace and has put his whole heart into peace. It almost killed him when I said I was going to be with the Separatists. And I hated hurting him. But I needed to become one of them to give Ni what he really wants: for as much violence to be prevented as possible."

Bant wasn't sure if she could trust him, but there was now a chance that she might be able to understand him. "You really love him?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be here." He closed his eyes. "You'll never forgive me for all I've had to do just to get here and make a name for myself. But I've killed throusands of Separatists, and I'm not really looking for your forgiveness. Ni's understanding and love are the only things that count now."

"If you've really learned to love, how can you confine your love to one person? All those Separatists were people, too."

"Yeah. Sure they were. Though I have more cause to think of them as animals. And don't lecture me, Master. It's not worth your time." He turned his chair for the door. "And now, if you'll excuse me, that Jedi and I have work to do."

The chimes on her door sounded and Bant called, "Come in," even as she stood up. She oculdn't shake the feeling that Kento had known the chimes were going to sound. It was impssible to tell the future, but he'd always seemed to know things, to have knowledge that she wasn't sure Yoda even had. That was crazy, of course, but still the feeling persisted.

The doors parted and Anakin strode in. "You're coming with me," he said to Kento. "I don't know where we're going, except back to the Orange District, but we'll know when we get there."

He looked more at peace than Bant was used to seeing him, and so despite his clipped words, she thought he was thinking fairly clearly. So she said, "Anakin, Kento loves Ni. Everything he does is for that love," hoping Anakin would be able to make sense of that statement, to know, for himself, if it was true or only her own wishful thinking because she wanted love to exist now that she couldn't have it. And knowing that Anakin and Obi-Wan loved each other was helpful; she breathed in that relif. And this answer came: _Reeft is gone._ She almost burst into tears.

Which was entirely too weak for her, so she glanced at Kento. "Whatever you're going to do for Ni, do it soon. And make sure you don't lose him while you're trying to win his love."

"I don't need to win anything from him. His heart is mine and my heart is his." Then, a small crack formed in the mask that he usually wore over all he felt, and he added, "If I have done anything wrong, Master, it's this: I didn't show Ni how much I loved him until it was almost too late. When I see him this time, the first thing I will tell him is how much I love him."

Bant nodded, wanting to believe, and glanced at Anakin, who gazed at Kento with a completely neutral expression on his face. Neutrality was probably the best she could expect from Anakin at this point, and surely better than what he would normally give.

"You called me a runaway," Kento said.

Bant blinked, faintly surprised to fine him still there, and she almost laughed at herself. Kento could always be counted on to stay beyond his welcome. "I've thought of you that way many times. Not because of how you left Temple but because of the way you were before you left."

Kento grimaced. "Thank you for your vote of confidence, _Master_, but I'm never running away from Ni, so get that through your arrogant head." And he left, all but running Anakin over as he went.

Anakin watched him for a moment, glanced back at her, nodded to her, and left.

Bant went to the room she had shared with Reeft, lay down on the bed, and wept. She didn't want to give herself up to the emotions, but this would only be the third time she'd done so since he'd left, and despite all the strength of the Force that she could feel around her- the Light Force only, and how could that be in the midst of so much rising Darkness?- she had never felt quite so alone.

_If you can answer my prayer,_ she sent to the Force, _let me die in the Light, but let me die. I can't bear to be parted from my love anymore. Let me go into nothingness._

_That,_ came the answer, clear as a cloudless day, _is not your destiny._

And Bant abandoned much of her training to scream into her pillow.

oOo

Qui-Gon knew he shouldn't have left Ni alone in that den of thieves, but he needed to check on Xanatos. And there was something else dragging at him, maybe intuition, maybe a message from the Force. Whichever it was, he was meant to be here instead of in the Orange District. He only hoped the prince, who had shown such discretion while Qui-Gon grilled Anakin about Obi-Wan, would be all right for an hour or two.

He watched Xanatos and Senator Amidalawander, not touching but close together, through a bazaar not far from 500 Republica. Xanatos did not wear his hood as he so often had in the past, and the senator wandered alongside him with a smile on her face..

This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. Xanatos- well, a clone of Xanatos; this man who was and wasn't his former apprentice had explained that much- and this mere girl? She was a woman, yes, but still a girl in so many ways. She had grown up quickly, true, but wasn't she still prone to a child's whims?

Qui-Gon laughed at himself and faded into the shadows of the ledge above him. He sat, crosslegged, on his own ledge and chuckled again. No. She wasn't suffering those whims. And it wasn't her youth that bothered him. She was taken with Xanatos, a murderer, a former Sith, and the man who had all but killed his Obi-Wan. And the most galling thing? She knew all that and yet she was falling for him. Maybe not in a romantic sense, but… "Yes, in a romantic sense," he whispered. "Yes."

Watching them smile at each other (though Xanatos's smile was smaller and less frequently displayed and though she sometimes frowned) he was jealous. He let the emotion go at once and then laid out the reason for it so he could study it.

_I am jealous because she and he have found joy. _But it wasn't them; he begrudged neither of them anything. They'd both had hard lives, whether they'd made their lives that way or not. _I see them and I want what they have._ He didn't want the physical contact. But they weren't really touching, so what he really wanted was: _Obi. _Not to be with him as Xanatos would be with Senator Amidala sometime in the future, but as he was with her now: so close that their souls touched without their bodies touching. And Qui-Gon knew he couldn't have that. Even though he had grown and Obi-Wan surely held nothing against him, because that was the type of man Obi-Wan was, they could never have that soul-bond, something that defied even the idea of creating a master-padawan bond or a lovers' bond. He and Obi-Wan could never have the time or the opportunity to be like this. And Qui-Gon's heart ached. Because he, too, felt the coming end. And though he didn't fear his own death, he mourned Obi-Wan's death, if it should come, and the chances that would be lost.

"I have the secret of the Whills," he murmured. So he might get the chance to come to a still-living Obi-Wan, but if Obi-Wan didn't survive, they would never talk.

"This isn't wise, but I had to see you."

The master's jaw dropped even as he scrambled to his feet. He slammed the top of his head into the ledge above and groaned, rubbing the sore spot. He had taken a step towards the edge, but was in no danger of falling.

Still, Obi-Wan's fingers closed around his wrist, warm against his skin. And then Obi-Wan pulled him close into an embrace that made Qui-Gon's vision blur with tears.

"Obi mine…" He swallowed. "I'm sorry. I can't call you-"

"Yes you can. So much as anyone belongs to anyone else, I was yours for a long time." Obi-Wan stepped back. "I can't stay. And I come with no message, only a question. But is there anything we need to say before I ask and then go?"

_Where are you going?_ But the question stayed in his own mind, and would have done so even if both his and Obi-Wan's shields had been down. He contained all personal questions for the time being. "What is your question?"

"Has Xanatos come to the Light?"

"Maybe 'drawn' is a better word than 'come', but, yes, he's in the Light."

Obi-Wan nodded. And though he glanced towards the speeders zooming by, he didn't move to leave.

"You look well." Qui-Gon cupped Obi-Wan's cheek in his hand.

He turned his eyes back to Qui-Gon and seemed to see him, really see him, for the first time. He smiled. "So do you."

Qui-Gon laughed. "I'm old and now everyone can see it."

"It was hard for you on Ragoon 6 all alone."

"How did you-?"

"The day I stopped Anakin from killing you and Xanatos? Master Dooku let much out of his mind, and one thing he let me see was that you had been waiting a long time for him and that you had gone through a lot since I saved you for that farmer to find."

Qui-Gon grinned. "You scared him, you know. The farmer."

"I wasn't in a good mood at the time." But Obi-Wan was still smiling. "It's so good to see you and I could waste a long time just comparing notes- though it could never be a total waste when I had you to talk to- but I need to go. There may be an end to the war in sight."

Qui-Gon frowned and forcibly put away any playfulness or fond memories. "I doubt that."

"So do I. But still, I must go." And he drew back, releasing Qui-Gon.

"Wait." Qui-Gon gripped his shoulders. "Obi, listen. You must learn the secret of the Whills. If you do, we'll be able to talk. If you don't, this will be our last time. I can feel it."

"I'm going to die before we meet again? You're so sure?"

"No, but I want you to learn, just in case."

Obi-Wan's voice was gentle. "I don't have time. I'm sorry." And he pulled back from Qui-Gon once more. "Take care of yourself. Watch for me and I'll watch for you."

His heart screamed and his throat ached trying to keep the sound down in his chest where it belonged. If Obi-Wan didn't learn the secret now… "Obi-"

"I can't." And Obi-Wan was already taking steps back. He'd be gone soon.

Qui-Gon strode towards him and grabbed his cloak, knowing it might rip if Obi-Wan decided to jump, but not daring for a surer hold. His control over Obi-Wan was long gone. "Take a day with me. Let me teach you."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. We both have too many tasks. I'm already defying the Will of the Force- in a tiny way, but still defying It- by stopping here to talk even for these few minutes." He freed himself, his hand warm on Qui-Gon's as he extricated the material of his tunic from the older man's grip. "May the Force be with you."

And in the depths of Obi-Wan eyes, Qui-Gon found all the confidence and peace that he himself felt in regards to Xanatos, Light existing in the coming Darkness, and the inevitable triumph of balance. He stepped close, kissed Obi-Wan's cheek, then stepped back. "And also with you, Obi mine."

And, now that he'd been allowed to see Obi-Wan, he needed to get back to Ni.

Glancing down, he saw that Xanatos and Senator Amidala had disappeared. He sent his best wishes with them and leapt off the ledge.

oOo

Nela and two other young Knights were called to the Council Chamber. They bowed in tandem and waited.

Only Yoda and Mace were there.

"Return to your duties shortly you will," Yoda said. "But ask this of you we will: if allowed to do so, stay at Temple you must. The future of the padawans in your hands is. Taken from Temple the younglings will be, but many padawans with their masters will not be allowed to go."

Mace stood and gave a datapad to Knight K'Tel, a young human Nela didn't know well. She wondered why the three of them out of all the other knights, had been chosen for this task. There were knights with both more and less experience than they had. She posed that question to Yoda when neither he or Master Windu talked about the datapad.

"Compliment each other your strengths do. Combined, a formidable force you will make."

"Masters, why will some padawans be staying here?" K'Tel asked.

Yoda frowned. "Unclear the future is. Soon learn the answer to that we all may."

And with that they had to be content.


	57. Five Deaths

**Author's Note:** I know this was supposed to be 'three deaths' but two more died than I was expecting… Fair warning: things are going to get darker before they get brighter.

Five Years (Dogfight and Rescue)Pg. 1166

Five Years (Planning)Pg. 1187

Five Years (Step One: The Rape)Pg. 1207

Five Years (Step Two: The Aftermath)Pg. 1225

Five Years (Xanatos and the

Plans for the Survivors)Pg. 1248

Five Years (Five Deaths)Pg. 1268

Five Years (Five Deaths)

Obi-Wan ran the final check on the small fighter he'd be taking to Utapau. Everything was not only in order, it was above-standard. Not that he'd expected anything less. There were some of the clones who were frustrated with his refusal to take any ship without checking it first. But when he'd explained to Captain Cody that he'd check a ship that had been examined by the entire Jedi Council and half the experienced pilots in the galaxy, it was accepted that he was just obsessive, if a Jedi could be said to have such a quality. In any case, the captain and those who had worked with Obi-Wan through the Clone Wars (Obi-Wan didn't like that term in the slightest) had stopped taking offense at his insistence on checking all ships for himself.

His final check complete, he approached Captain Cody and nodded his thanks.

"One hundred percent?" the captain asked, which was clone-speak for "A-okay?"

"Always," Obi-Wan answered. "Thank you." He'd often thought that the clones' ability to develop their own slang was proof that they were people in their own right. And any comparison he'd once made between these men and their 'father', Jango Fett, had vanished.

The captain chuckled. "Some day you're not going to have time for a final check, then you'll really understand that we'll never leave you high and dry." He waved his own words away, though, before Obi-Wan could respond. He gestured to the schematic that showed the world of Utapau.

It was a barren place, so far as Obi-Wan could tell. And the population wasn't spread over the whole of the planet. That should make finding Grievous a little simpler.

The captain confirmed his assumption about the population. "Well, fortunately, most of the cities are concentrated on a small continent here, on the far side."

Obi-Wan nodded, thinking that first he'd make 'official' contact with the citizens, to both bolster their courage and to lull Grievous into a false sense of security. Then he would find the general- and his battalion of droids- and hopefully bring this war one step closer to conclusion. "I'll keep them distracted until you get there. Just don't take too long."

"Come on. When have I ever let you down?" The teasing tone in Captain Cody's voice was unmistakeable. It was strange, but several months ago he would most likely have been offended into stiffness by a comment like that. Now he and Obi-Wan had been working together so long that, for both of them, it was almost like working with one of their own.

Obi-Wan laughed as he climbed the wing to the pilot's seat. "Very well. The burden is on me not to destroy all the droids until you arrive." He almost added _May the Force be with you,_ and he chuckled again as the ship's canopy closed over him. Forget 'almost one of his own.' He was thinking of Cody as a Jedi. And that was good. If nothing else good came out of this war, he'd made a friend.

oOo

This wasn't what Ferus wanted: to find himself facing a ticked-off Taubese who obviously thought he had a right to be here. Well, and there were a lot of things Ferus didn't want, so why should he get his way even in this little thing?

True, he'd set this raging beast on himself, but that was part of the persona he'd been developing. The cool, I-don't-need-to-prove-myself bit had first been chipped away when he ran into the Force-sensitive in the hoverchair and he'd completely thrown it over when he heard that the Separatists in this little piece of Hell had dedicated themselves to findings and 'disposing of' Arnen. They all seemed complete convinced that Arnen was a spy. It was strange that their suspicion didn't extend to Ferus, but there was no way he wasn't going to take advantage of their oversight.

First, he'd been trying to find Ferus. Then he'd seen Qui-Gon. Then, losing Qui-Gon, he'd found this Taubese male that he'd managed to piss off.

He ducked a clumsy swing at his head and kept up his taunts. That was the persona that was coming out. Had Obi-Wan felt this filthy when he'd been forced to play on others' perceptions of himself? Yeah, most likely, but that didn't make Ferus feel any better.

"Look, I could just kill you right here but I'm making allowances for your intelligence," he told the Taubese. "Anyone who would want to find that piece of scum-" meaning the hoverchair-bound man, the one the Taubese was looking for- "has a soft head. But if you don't back off-"

"_Where is he?"_

Ferus used the Force to block a blow that might have crushed his skull and almost staggered under the strength behind the attack. He shoved his attacker back, off-balance. "You don't think he's using the only part of him that works to acquire a little protection and favor?"

Someone whistled at that and Ferus wondered how long it would be before half the cell was watching this battle. The more that showed up, the harder it would be for him to walk away. But the more that were here, the fewer there were looking for Arnen.

Someone else shouted, "Not too smart for an ex-Jedi. Jae-el's got Count Dooku's ear!"

That was doubtful, especially if no one here even knew Dooku was dead. Sure, that information had been kept under wraps for awhile, but it wasn't a month before it was all over Temple. And though Jedi were as likely to gossip as to attack unarmed civilians, Ferus couldn't believe the information hadn't leaked out _somehow_. After all, the Archives had been compromised once; what was to keep them from being compromised again? Or maybe Master Yoda hadn't put that information in the files. Still, Grievous had to know, and surely _his_ files weren't the most secure in the galaxy.

A huge man, more like a mountain carried on a wave of pure energy, leapt between the two combatants, grabbed both of them, dragged them until they were all but kissing each other, and snarled, "You're going to shut up and come with me. Jae-el's orders." He grinned unpleasantly behind his mask. "You're both as good as dead." And he turned on one heel, letting their feet touch the floor but keeping complete control as he left the circle of gawkers.

Ferus Olin wondered if he'd ever be as intimidating as Qui-Gon Jinn. That question aside, he was so glad to see the master that he decided not even to ask where Qui-Gon had disappeared to, leaving him to deal with so much on his first day as a spy. Not that he was complaining. Whatever he needed to do was what he'd do. But… Didn't anyone ever go around half-relaxed?

Qui-Gon hauled them both into a small room. He kicked the door closed and silence fell.

A tall, leonine man, carefully masked and paradoxically clad in rags stood by the hoverchair-bound Jae-el. He didn't speak as Qui-Gon released his charges and locked the door.

The Taubese took a step forward, but Qui-Gon grasped his shoulder. "Wait. Please." Then, to Jae-el, "He's here. You've accomplished your goal. Do you expect him to take you home with him, never to darken this corner of the galaxy again, or were you sent for some higher purpose?"

Jae-el made a face. "You were never the most discreet." He folded his arms. "Are you even going to allow me to tell Ni how much I've missed him?"

"Not yet," Qui-Gon said, overriding anything the Taubese might have said. "Answer my question first."

"I won't be darkening this corner of the galaxy again, no. Once I give you the coordinates of all the bases on the Core Worlds and collect my charge, we'll be on our way."

"What charge?"

"A child the Jedi couldn't be bothered to tend to even though his father brought one of their lost sheep back to Temple."

"What lost sheep?" Ferus asked. He didn't glance at Qui-Gon; he was probably endangering whatever plan the master had in mind. But he had a feeling, if only because so many things led back to-

"An Obi-Wan Kenobi, or so I'm told."

Ferus dragged his memory for the name of the unkempt space pilot who had helped Obi-Wan reach Temple after all thought him dead. He floundered for it, but the mask-and-rags man said, "Lord Solo."

_Anakin?_ Ferus didn't show his surprise, but what was this? He and Arnen were supposed to be the only Jedi here. Then first Qui-Gon arrived, then Anakin. Whatever plans had been meant to happen, they seemed to be falling apart.

Jae-el laughed. "You'd all give yourselves away in an instant if I didn't know who all of you were." He switched his attention back to Qui-Gon. "Now may I see my lover?"

The Taubese- Ni, Jae-el had called him- made a soft noise.

Qui-Gon released his shoulder and Ni strode across the room, crouched and lifted Jae-el into his arms. There was a moment of silence.

"There isn't time for the private talk we both want," Jae-el murmured and the kiss he laid on Ni's cheek was almost louder than his words. "Thank you for coming after me. I knew you'd find me."

"You aren't in danger. Everyone respects you." Ni didn't sound reproachful. "Why did you leave me?"

"Unlike so many of the other initiates who are turned away from Temple, I always found it impossible to ignore the call of the Force." Jael-el kissed him again, this time on the lips. "The Force led me to you, then here, and, luckily, back to you again." His kisses were silent. "I called you here because I needed to give a reason to leave: a lover who needed me. When I first came here, I told too many people about you, about my undying devotion to you. I said that if you ever needed me, I'd leave. That should have made the rest of the rats here think I'm weak." He laughed. "As if they didn't think that already. But Count Dooku liked that I was ready to be ruthless in the name of protecting what I saw as your interests." He shrugged and snuggled closer, a move that should have been jarring, based on his earlier antagonistic behavior. "It didn't hurt that I painted myself as bloodthirsty and hardened. And he liked that I was Force-sensitive.

"So I've accomplished what I think the Force called me here to do: to plant seeds of Light in Count Dooku's brain, to keep the Separatists here weak and aimless, and to map all the Separatist cells in the Core." He tossed a small chip to Qui-Gon. "You'll find all the information you want there."

"The Force never asks for tactical advantages," Qui-Gon said. And though he caught the chip, he didn't pocket it.

Jae-el sneered. "Believe what you want to, but I know I was called here."

"Maybe it wasn't for what you think."

"Fuck you." And he clung to Ni.

Who rubbed his back and glared at Qui-Gon. "Leave him be. He's been through a lot. And he didn't have your Temple behind him. At least you and Obi-Wan always had that." And he kissed Jae-el softly. "I love you."

"And I you."

Anakin stirred. "Ni, you need to know: he put another Jedi in danger." Then, to Qui-Gon, "Arnen may be dead because of him."

Jae-el turned his head. "I acted right. He's a spy. He's not one of you anymore."

"Arnen is one of us and you got him killed."

"He's not dead yet," Jae-el answered. "And if he's half as good as his knight title suggests, he'll be able to escape them."

Anakin took half a step forward. Anger ran in all the lines of his body. "Except you shot him."

Ferus stepped between the two, noting that Anakin reeled himself in. "Enough. What's our next move?" He looked to Qui-Gon.

"Collect your charge and I want you off this rock within the hour." He turned to Ferus. "And I want you to go with them."

Ferus blinked. "But I'm supposed to-"

"The timetable for your mission was destroyed when Arnen's position was compromised."

Ferus stepped closer and whispered, "But I'm supposed to get close to Chancellor Palpatine. Win his trust. That's why I… attacked Obi-Wan. To show my distaste for the soft, coddling ways of the Jedi. I can't leave Coruscant right now."

Qui-Gon frowned, nodded. "I misunderstood your mission. Where will you go now that this cell will be dissipating?"

"I'm not sure." And that almost terrified him. "But the Force will guide me."

"Great faith," Jae-el said, sounding almost respectful. "Maybe not all the Jedi have forgotten what calls them." He snuggled against his lover once more. "Let's get out of here." To Qui-Gon he said, "There are a few explosives under the floor in my room. I'll show you where they are and if you set them, they'll go off ten minutes later. Come on, Ni. We need to get out of here."

"Without your chair?"

"Yes. We'll travel faster without it. Let's collect the boy and go home." He chuckled. "I miss your bed."

Watching them head for the door, Ferus's stomach flipped unpleasantly. It hadn't done that since he was a very young padawan. But everything felt wrong here. He glanced at Qui-Gon, but got no reaction. He glanced at Anakin and saw that at least _he_ seemed to feel it. He stepped closer to the other knight. "I don't like this."

Not bothering to lower his voice, Anakin said, "It's too easy. Too seamless. And I don't trust that little shit. If he understands love, I'm a Sith."

"Jae-el," Qui-Gon said. "Wait."

Ni turned back with his lover in his arms. His face was tight and he glared at Anakin. "Obi-Wan's padawan you might be, but he'll eventually understand that he doesn't need an judgmental man like you for a lover."

Jae-el looked up from the circle of Ni's arms. "You're all falling apart, and it's getting bad enough that people who are outside the Jedi can see it."

Qui-Gon spoke as if he hadn't heard Anakin's, Ni's or Jae-el's words. "What is the boy's name?"

Jae-el raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"The Force compels me to ask you."

Jae-el scowled. "You don't know anything about the compulsion of the Force. But since you can't do anything with the name, it's Han." And he rested his head against Ni's chest and they left the room.

When the three of them were welll and truly alone, Qui-Gon gripped Ferus's shoulder with one hand. With the other, he stripped off his mask. "I need you to trust me, Ferus. All my instincts cry that this is wrong and that those two shouldn't be left alone with a child. I don't doubt Prince Ni-kailo-Bel, not at all, but I don't trust Jae-el. I never have. Please: follow them out of here, and if the Force compels you, follow them to Ni's planet."

Could his other mission wait? Maybe. Espeically since he didn't know how to start it. "I'll go." He pulled away from Qui-Gon, headed for the door.

"Ferus."

He glanced back. It was Qui-Gon who had called him, but Anakin had his mask off too and both men looked remarkably grim. Ferus felt a fine sheen of sweat form above his eyebrows. He ignored it, all the while feeling that he had to be after Jae-el, that he couldn't be allowed to escape.

"May the Force be with you," said both Qui-Gon and Anakin. And they bowed in tandem.

It was almost surreal. Ferus returned the bow. "May the Force be with you both."

oOo

"That was uncalled for. Name-calling is not a Jedi quality."

Anakin grimaced. "Yeah, I know. And I don't mean to use an excuse, but I don't like this."

They had re-donned their masks.

"Because you feel uncomfortable? Remember that what you feel may well be a product of the rising Darkness." Qui-Gon took out his lightsaber hilt, turned it in his hands for a moment in a gesture Anakin had never seen from the old master, and put it away. "It's time we set the explosives." He strode to the door.

Anakin rushed forward and grasped Qui-Gon's shoulder. The muscles under his hand felt like rock and he wondered why that should surprise him. Qui-Gon had always been strong. _But he won't be this way for long._ Anakin shoved that thought away, refusing to think about it, and said, "Why do I feel like we just sent Ferus to his death?"

"It's the rising Darkness, Anakin." Qui-Gon wasn't looking at him.

Anakin sidled in front of Qui-Gon and held his gaze. "You're lying. Jedi don't lie. Even when the Darkness is rising. Why do I feel like we've just-"

"How should I know? I'm not the Force." Qui-Gon tried to get around him.

"You know _something_. Tell me."

Qui-Gon frowned and some of the animosity that had lurked around him like a second skin since he, Ferus and Ni had entered the small room dissolved. "All I know is a confused species of hurt. I have helped one padawan of mine to return to the Light. But I may be sending another, who has always been in the Light, who has never strayed even a single step, away from safety." His eyes were flinty. "It's a Jedi's duty to face danger and I know that."

"Yeah, but sending him away can't be easy. It would be like me sending Obi… Well, like I let Obi go to fight General Grievous without me there as back-up. And it's not like he would have lived through our last battle if it wasn't for me." When Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed, Anakin held up his hands. "Don't even think it. I know he can defend himself. But, like I said, he would have died without me. That was because he was hurt, but it's not a great omen for the future."

"So think of him as strong."

Qui-Gon's chilly tone brought Anakin up short, but he chose to keep his reaction to himself. Qui-Gon was in pain, and seemingly his concerns had a greater basis in the Force. But, remembering how Padme had felt while under the influence of the Darkness, and how Anakin himself had felt during those times when the Darkness was concentrated around him, wasn't it possible that Ferus would be fine?

Anakin breathed into the Force. _May the Force with him,_ he thought, meaning both Ferus and his Obi.

Then he followed Qui-Gon from the room.

oOo

Several hours ago, full dark had fallen over this section of the Orange District. Here most of the globes had been shattered and so this was one of the few places on Coruscant where it could be said to reach 'full dark'.

Not caring about the dark, except that it hid him and his lover, Gareth thanked the Force for leading him to Arnen. Their connection was working, even with Arnen's shields firmly in place, and he knew instinctively that it wasn't like that for all Jedi. Now he crouched on the metalwork that supported an awning above a run-down shop. Gareth had been there once before, investigating a politician's murder that had been connected to the Black Market. He knew the lay of the shop and the surrounding streets as well as he knew the Temple. He'd spent five days and six nights here.

That mission had been before he became Arnen's master, but there were no coincidences in the Force. Either Arnen had read his mission logs- very possible- or had been led here by the Force. Whichever the case, he was safer here than he would be anywhere except back at Temple. There were so many places to hide that the Separatists seeking his blood had passed him by five times. Eventually, assuming they didn't give up in complete frustration, they would think to look inside the seemingly-solid statuary. Then Arnen would have to engage them. Spill some of their blood. Maybe spill more of his own. Gareth had tracked him here and he'd seen Arnen's wound. It had ceased to bleed, but Arnen had to be relying heavily on the Force for his strength.

And why hadn't Gareth engaged the Separatists? Simple: there were thirty of them. He might defeat that many, but not without killing many and most likely draw much unwanted attention. He didn't think of his own safety.

As he watched, two men began examining the statuary. He sighed. The loss of life couldn't be helped. He leapt from his perch and landed between them, knocking one of them out with the hilt of his 'saber as he drove his elbow into the other's windpipe, leaving him black-faced and gasping.

Then Arnen was beside him, looking pale and worse-off than Gareth had feared. His eyes were fever-bright and he swayed on his feet, even with the Force racing through him like a torrent. He dropped his shields. _I was starting to wonder what my next move might be. _He grinned.

_Ar', you delight in my coming to the rescue._

_Of course. It's hot._

Gareth groaned, but only so his lover could hear. There were more Separatists coming and the one he'd struck in the throat was valiantly trying to recover. Gareth considered their odds, considered their mission from Yoda, glanced at Arnen again, verifying the exhaustion he saw in his lover's very posture, and sheathed his lightsaber.

The nearest Separatists slipped blasters from holsters and opened fire.

"What are you-?" Arnen quickly sheathed his own weapon as Gareth picked him up, gathered the Force around himself like wings, and leapt, not back to the awning, but for the roof of the shop.

The blaster-fire exploded all around them. One energy bolt sizzled by Gareth's ear. He paid it no mind.

He had misjudged the distance. Or maybe the Darkness was working against him. His heels didn't come close to touching the ledge, but as he started to fall, Arnen grabbed the ledge, freeing Gareth of his weight. Gareth also caught himself on the ledge, flipped up onto the roof, and drew Arnen up after him.

Once in his arms, Arnen collapsed against him. He was still conscious, but Gareth saw the fresh wound at once. An energy bolt had ripped its way into Arnen's side.

_If I'd brought a speeder…_ But he hadn't. And there was no way he'd be able to get Arnen back to Temple. And of course the Separatists had seen them jump up here. Scanning the roof, he saw no place to hide. But two rooftops over, there was a metal shed. "Stay with me," he whispered as he scooped his lover into his arms once more.

"I'm not dying today," Arnen answered. Then, as Gareth ran for the roof's edge, preparing for the leap, "Thanks for coming after me."

Gareth made the leap, came down on the other roof, and kept going. "I'd never leave you out here on your own."

"Hey, I'm a Knight now. You have to let go sometime."

Arnen's speech was starting to slur. "Stay with me," Gareth ordered. "And you're my lover, so rank doesn't even come into it." He leapt again, landed solidly, and dashed into the shed, slamming the door behind him. It was dim in the shed and after he'd settled Arnen on the floor, he shrugged out of his pack and took out a small globe. It came to life in his hand, emitting a soft light, and by its glow he saw the white gleam of one of Arnen's ribs.

He ripped bacta from its packaging and set the almost-miraculous stuff to work at his lover's side. "Don't move, but you need to stay conscious."

Silence.

"Arnen!" His lover was still alive; he felt it in the Force. "Talk to me."

"What if they hear me and find us?"

So faint, that voice. So faint.

"I won't let them hurt you," Gareth whispered. He moved so that he was between Arnen and the door. Then he lowered himself, careful not to jostle his lover, and kissed him.

Arnen returned the kiss, but that fever-brightness was fading from his gaze, leaving his eyes dull.

"You promised you wouldn't die today," Gareth said. His voice shook.

" 'm nnot dy…" Arnen coughed and his life-force flickered.

"Stay with me. Ar', please."

Arnen's eyes focused and a little light, the natural gleam that had always accompanied his looks of heat or amusement, shone in their depths. "I love you."

Unheard by both of them, a clock nearby, one of those ancient, coveted things, tolled the hour of midnight.

The shed door was ripped off its hinges. If Gareth hadn't been so focused on his lover, or maybe if the Darkness hadn't been so ascendant, he would have sensed the threat coming. As it was, he stood not a chance of fulfilling the mission Yoda had set him.

The single Separatist, a hooded figure whose tunic nonetheless showed a hint of breasts, opened fire.

The instant before he died, Gareth felt Arnen pass. Then, before the shocking loss in the Force could fully reach him, he followed.

And found something besides emptiness waiting for him.

oOo

They weren't hard to follow, Ni and the one he carried. The rusty, metal corridors were dim and Ni traveled fast, but Ferus kept up soundless pursuit. He had cast away that feeling of surreality, refusing to think about anything but the current mission.

He followed them up and out of the beehive of tunnels behind and below the small bar that served as the known street entrance. In the bar, Jae-el called a small boy to follow them. The child had to be no more than three or four, and yet he was a sturdy, cautious youngling who had maybe already seen too much of the world. But as Ferus watched the child trail after Jae-el and his carrier, he reconsidered that assessment. The boy had seen too much of the world, yes, but only very recently. He still clung to Ni's heels like he thought he could trust him, and once he'd been 'picked up', he stopped looking around, completely trusting those with him to look after his welfare.

Out on the street, hurrying away from the bar at a near-run, following a block behind the others, Ferus wrapped himself tightly in the Force, trying to hide himself as much as possible. He couldn't get a clear sense of Jae-el and that bothered him but he didn't dare move closer, either in his mind or physically to find out what the former Jedi was about. Strictly speaking, he didn't distrust Jae-el, but anyone calling themselves 'spy' wasn't high on his 'can be trusted' list.

It was two or three hours after midnight, and strangely, he didn't feel tired. He'd stayed up for days at a time before this, but usually he felt at least a little fatigue. He felt nothing now but purpose. Then, as he passed beside a large building made more of metal than stone or even duracrete, he felt an instant of emptiness in the Force. It wasn't a shocking thing, like being dunked in freezing water, but more like seeing an ocean wave crest and thinking how cold it must be. He glanced up, searching the world above him for a clue as to the source of the psychic sense, but seeing nothing hurried on. He never learned of Arnen's or Gareth's deaths.

oOo

Fresh from the killing and the drinking, Annie, unfelt because she lurked close to the Dark Force user and his hostages, felt the Jedi approaching. She wouldn't kill him until it was time, but her fingers itched to do more than shoot his head off. She'd done that with the other one because she'd wanted to drink his blood and hadn't wanted it cooked. As for the younger one that he protected, she didn't need more than one victim's blood at a time and she didn't feel like carrying the younger one's body back to her speeder. Yes, he could be kept frozen until she needed him, but she doubted she would ever have a need to hoard victims. No, she would always have a surplus.

So, she could afford to murder this Jedi with her lightsaber. And hopefully he would be found and the means of his demise would be known.

A strong breeze rushed down the narrow street and an errant strand of sunset-red hair was blown into her eyes. She paused, taking a moment to fix her hair so that it wouldn't distract her at a crucial moment. When she lifted her arms like a dancer, her full, seventeen-year-old breasts pushed against her tunic. She smiled down at them and finished fixing her hair in place. Maybe she'd have to cut it, but she wanted to keep the locks as long as possible. She liked the idea of coming as a space angel to some unsuspecting man and killing him in cold blood even as she smiled at him.

She had nothing against most women, but if they were Jedi, they'd be just as dead as the men.

Everything in order, she stood still for a moment, listening in the Force for the approach of the doomed Jedi. When he passed, she didn't stir and didn't reach out to him with the Dark Force, keeping to herself as much as possible. She didn't yet have that dubious talent to hide herself in a cloak of nothingness, a place where all sense of the Force was denied, though of course no one could make the Force disappear. It was a dubious talent because the lack of Force was as much an indicator of one's presence as a wave of the Dark Force. And maybe, as everything darkened, it was a worse giveaway. So she hid and watched the Jedi pass. Then, walking with a light and graceful step that was so much like her 'papa's' that she would have done away with it had she known its origins, she followed the unwary Jedi.

oOo

Ferus felt the Force around him like a living thing, breathing and pulsing around him, mostly contented despite the Darkness because he walked so firmly in the Light. He saw Jae-el, Ni and the boy, Han, son of Lord Solo, ahead of him, heading for a tiny, unregulated spaceport. Was Ni's ship there or did Jae-el have his own transportation? Whichever, the Force called him to follow them not just to the ship but off-planet, and so he hurried a little, thinking that he'd slip on board as pilot or some other job. And if that didn't work, he'd borrow a ship and follow them. As long as he was able to put a tracking device on their vessel, he'd be able to follow.

Then he sensed the danger behind him. A Dark Force user was tailing him. Or maybe he or she was tailing Jae-el and Ni and he just happened to be in the way. _And I'll stay that way, if it's all the same to you. Or even if it isn't. _He grasped his lightsaber hilt and kept up his pace, not glancing anywhere but moving with a seemingly lack of concern. Maybe he could draw the Dark Force user forward.

Ni and Jae-el had reached the spaceport. They were heading for a large transport, one that carried refugees. He nodded. This would work perfectly. If he could just get rid of the one tailing him…

He jogged closer to the ship, heard the boarding agent calling that the ship was leaving in five minutes, and sauntered back the way he'd come. He was searching without seeming to search. The Dark Force user was here somewhere. But almost everything was turning Dark around him and he realized that maybe he was facing more than one enemy.

There was no rule that said he had to face anyone here, now. But he might be followed onto the ship if he didn't confront the stalker here. And besides, he felt drawn to confront her.

Her?

Yes, he realized, with that part of himself that was all Force, it was a her. Annie? More than likely. Why was she here? And would she be a serious threat?

The answer to the first question was: _she's here to kill._ The answer to the second was shorter: _Yes._

Ferus waited. But only for a moment. Then there was someone striding up behind him and though he didn't turn, he knew who it was. "What do you want, Jae-el?"

The man answered, not from high up, in Ni's arms, but from near the ground. "Just shut up and keep looking. She's out there somewhere."

Ferus risked a glance back and saw that Ni and the boy stood closer to the ship, but that someone had shut the ship's doors. That way of escape had been denied. Searching for Annie again- he had a sense of whirlpool darkness contained inside a fragile shell- he called, "Find some cover!" He sensed Ni hesitating, then he heard running steps. Good. Hopefully they would stay hidden until this was over.

He guarded against attack from the one beside him, not just from Annie. Whatever was going on, he still didn't trust Jae-el. Maybe that wasn't characteristic of a Jedi, this intense level of suspicion, but he wouldn't let it go.

She appeared then, not leaping out of the crowd, though there wasn't much of a crowd at this point. It was as if everyone nearby had gotten a whiff of what was happening and decided it was safer to stay back. As she came forward, head high, hood back, blue-green eyes fired with Darkness that looked light, those few people who had remained near enough to see the coming battle began to fade away. The refugee ship took off.

There was a shuffling sound as Jae-el scuttered his way to the left, and there was a hum as he activated a lightsaber that he should have never possessed. "All right, bitch, if you want to dance, let's dance."

For a moment, Annie's laughing-at-the-world expression changed and Ferus was shocked to almost- almost!- see Obi-Wan's calm eyes looking out from that beautiful face. Her hair was tied back, but she reached up and freed a strand so it drifted down over her ear and caught the light in its auburn curl. "I don't want to hurt you," she said. "You've never hurt me. But I have to do what is best for the galaxy, and if that means killing you, I'll have to do it." She took two steps, her hands hidden in her sleeves. She bowed her head a little. "Stand aside, Jedi. I don't want this ot end in bloodshed. It's unnecessary."

Ferus hadn't yet drawn his weapon, though his hand had rested at his belt, but now he relaxed, letting his hand fall to his side. And he, too, took two steps forward. They were now less than six feet apart. "What is your goal? Maybe I can help you."

"The Jedi would never help me." She moved a little closer. "The Jedi don't understand how much I want peace. They think peace is the diseased place where they live now. That's not peace." Another step. "That's not true peace. I know true peace. I've seen it."

Jae-el snorted. "Look, bitch, you can't fool us. All you want is to kill Jedi and butcher children. I know what you want for the boy with me. I know what you want for my lover. I can drink it from your mind like water." He laughed. "And don't even hope it will poison me. I'm beyond such things." His lightsaber hummed in the brief silence after he'd spoken, and there was that shuffling sound as he dragged himself forward, snubbing legs that had never worked in favor of arms that had been made incredibly strong.

Annie turned towards him and held out her hands. Lifting her head, she looked up through her lashes. "I'm the son of a Jedi. Why would I want to kill them? I'll do what's necessary, but I won't kill unless I must."

"You're no Jedi's daughter. You're a get conceived in Darkness and channeled through a sadist's blood. Forced on a Jedi, yeah, that part's true, but you were never his. Whatever the rest of the fools believe, I know what you are."

"You're bitter." She smiled sadly. "That's such a common feeling among those who have been asked to leave the Order. I'm so sorry they've hurt you."

Jael-el shifted another few feet forward. "Fuck. You."

Ferus saw the people coming back, drifting closer as talking went on instead of fighting. Jae-el's ignited lightsaber had ceased to seem like a threat. He turned towards the nearest cluster of gawkers and shook his head. "Step back," he murmured, moving his hand just a little.

These stepped back and, seeing others move back, most of the rest of the gathering onlookers did likewise. Satisfied, Ferus turned back to Annie. He stepped so that he blocked Jae-el's view of her and her view of him. If there was any way to get out of this mess without fighting, that wouldn't be through name-calling. "Annie, please tell me what you want and how I can help you."

She shook her head. "There's no way you can help. You're a Jedi. But if you want to leave, I suggest you get out of my way." Her smile was sweet. "I promise: I won't come looking for you."

"If what you intend involves hurting innocent people or strengthening the Separatists or the Sith, I won't step aside." He again rested his hand on his belt, closer to his 'saber than it had been before.

She sighed. "But you're insisted on battle. My papa would be so disappointed. He's a negotiator in his very heart."

A lick of fury ran up Ferus's spine. He sent it out into the Force and received peace back. But that lick of fury was something he hadn't felt in a negotiation or battle for years, maybe even since he'd been a padawan. Put more on his guard, he said softly, "The only way I think we'll be able to both walk away from this without bloodshed is if you agree to walk away. My duty as a Jedi is not only to pursue peace but to protect innocents-"

"No one is truly innocent."

"And non-innocents, those people who can be helped to make decisions for peace. I have a duty to them, too. So whatever your goal, it would be best if you agree to not pursue it at this time. Or you and I will have to both put our intentions to a physical test."

She scowled for an instant and his heartbeat sped up. It would have been so much better if, having scowled, she lost any resemblance to Obi-Wan. But, Force, she still looked so much like him that Ferus had to fight not to give in to her. Then her expression smoothed and it was even harder to resist her. She was a negotiator, too, though maybe it wasn't quite so instinctive with her. Ferus hoped that her attempts would crumble and whatever her true colors, she'd show them plainly.

So soft, like she was speaking to a child that she wanted to comfort, she said, "My intentions, Jedi, are to kill the boy before he can grow to be a challenge to my Lord. If you think you can stop me, you're more than welcome to try." Without another word, she drew her lightsaber and leapt.

Her movement was a blur, but Ferus's blade was in his hand before she'd even made her leap and he met her easily, not pitting strength against strength, but letting her stagger as he slid his blade along hers and let her momentum carry her forward. Then, before she could use this to her advantage, since the move brought her closer to where Ni and the boy had retreated, Ferus somersaulted over her, knocking away a clumsy attempt and landing before her. "You don't want ot fight me, Annie. This isn't going to end well."

She snarled. "Not for you." And she leapt again, but then screamed and dropped her lightsaber.

Her hand was still attached. Her wrist smoked as she stepped back, staring at it, and her hand lay on the ground with the lightsaber, still activated, guttering on the duracrete. She didn't scream or retreat or fall to her knees and Ferus, for an instant, could only watch her, confused by her reaction.

Jae-el, who had cut the hand from its owner, reached out, perhaps to deactive the lightsaber. He never even got close.

The lightsaber rose and slashed its burning way through his chest, cutting him neatly in two, right under his armpits so that his shoulders and head fell backward to splat on the sidewalk and the rest of him pitched forward to land with a soft thump.

"Nnnnn-"

Ferus leapt forward and cut the lightsaber, which was controlled by a wave of the Force so strong that he could barely breathe, in half. It fell back to the ground, cooling.

"Nnnnn-"

Then Annie was on him, armed with another lightsaber- Jae-el's- and Ferus was forced to defend himself as she pressed him back and back, using her left hand as well as she had used her right, throwing the Force against him like a wave.

He absorbed the wave and instead of returning it used it to fill himself with energy.

"Nnnnn-" Ni flew past on his right, diving for his lover.

Annie turned away from her furious attack on Ferus and beheaded him. Before Ferus could even feel much more in the Force than a shock of cold, she was after him again, driving him back and back, towards where the refugee ship had sat. She was screaming now and spittle flew from her mouth in a fine spray that glittered in the sunlight.

Ferus gave her back a little of the Force she was throwing at him and she staggered, but only half a step. Still, that was enough for him to attack instead of retreat, and he went for her other hand.

She dropped her lightsaber.

He rushed in, not wanting to kill her, but fearing for all the galaxy if she was allowed to live as she now was.

Annie drew a blaster and shot him. Three times in the chest. Twice in the head.

He was dead before he hit the ground.

oOo

Annie whirled, alive with the deaths in the Force, and mowed down the handful of stupid people who had stayed to watch the fight. Then she went looking for the boy, Han Solo. She didn't know what threat he was, and her Master didn't know, but she'd be damned if she'd take any chances or leave any survivors when killing made her feel so alive.

The boy wasn't in the immediate area. She holstered the blaster, called her lightsaber to her left hand, deactivated it and sheathed it, also. And then she waited, casting about herself in the Force to find the boy. There. There was his trail. But he'd made some good progress away from the spaceport. She fell into an easy jog that made her cauterized wrist throb, but that was all right. She had been able to block the worst of the pain, just as Sidious had said she would, and that was enough.

That Jedi Knight had been a challenge, if only a little one. And the cripple with him had surprised her, not so much with the blitz attack- she should have seen that coming and she would learn from it, yes- but by what he'd said. He knew things Sidious had only just told her about her true parentage. And how had he known? He hadn't been at Temple when she was; she would have remembered someone so deformed. So where had he come from and how had he known what he'd known? It was a question whe would have to ask her master as soon as she found and killed the boy. It was, after all one of those reason she was still allowing the old man to live: there were things she needed to learn. And if the greatest defect of the Sith was their belief that they knew everything, she wouldn't fall into that temptation. She was wiser than the Jedi; that was definite. But she was a new Sith and didn't know all.

But as soon as she _did_ know it all, she would be the knew Sith Lord.

The boy's trail led her down an alley and she searched carefully here because there were many places to hide. And when she didn't find him in that alley, she kept following his trail on, further and further from where she'd murdered a Jedi, a Taubese price with a good heart, and a former initiate that no one, except maybe Ni, had ever truly understood.

oOo

Deeply asleep, Yoda wept silent tears. Then the tears stopped and he turned into stone on the bed, going so deep into the Force, as he and few others could do while fast asleep, that his soul was barely in his body.

Fully awake beside him, Mace felt the deaths like small pin pricks that let out so much blood that he thought he might faint. ArnenGareth, just like that, one on top of the other. He didn't know at first that it was the knight and master, but when he reached out for identities, he was given their names. Then Knight Ferus. Then a shock of ascendant Darkness so strong that he didn't fortify his shields but followed it because he needed to know its source. Surely its spearhead was Sidious. And if Mace could find him, there might yet come good from all the deaths he'd wrought.

But it wasn't Sidious. It was Annie, the padawan he, too, had failed to tame and calm and console. His approach to working with her had been different than the forced connection Ryn-yn initiated and the calm, soothing teachings that had been Reeft's style with her. He had taken her deep into Jedi history, teaching her all that the Jedi had done to help others heal. And none of it had gotten through, or not far enough ot do any good. For here she was, a murderer several times over, killing not just the Jedi but many non-Force-sensitives as well. And a Force-sensitive who wasn't a Jedi: the bitter, hurt man who had once been Kento Veren, whom Mace himself had brought to Temple as a two-years'-child long ago.

A hand crept into his and closed tight around his fingers. He gathered Yoda into his lap and the two of them sat that way, neither speaking, neither reaching for each other in the Force, feeling only these new deaths together and separately.

When the immediate anguish began to pass, Mace kissed his lover's forehead and closed his eyes. "As we lose more and more, it's going to feel just like this. And if we're not careful, it could build up and drown us." He released his pain into the Force, conscious that he hadn't had to conscious do so in untold years. He hugged Yoda compulsively closer and murmured, "We're going to be torn. Not apart, but just enough that we bleed and wish, just a little, for another time or for death."

"Hmmph. Death you do not wish for."

In spite of himself, Mace chuckled. It was a dry sound. "No. I don't. But-"

"No buts. Justification do not give. Pain coming is. Known this we have. Understand it we do. No confusion or death is there for us."

Mace knew he meant no emotional death or confusion, but he found himself wishing, as he hadn't since he was a very young boy, that they would never die. He opened his eyes, unconsciously seeking something he knew Yoda couldn't give. "When you die in the Force, or if I die first-"

Yoda pulled away and glared up at Mace, his face set in that chastening frown that had quelled so many thousands of younglings, padawans, knights and masters. "Face it we will."

Yes. Of course they would. The alternative was to give in and that was beneath them both. Mace let his thoughts seek calm, quiet paths, and when he was himself again, he said, "Yes." No asking for forgiveness. They were too close to need such things.

Yoda leaned against him once more and they were quiet together. They didn't sleep the rest of that might, but passed together into mediation.

oOo

Anakin slipped into the darkened quarters he shared with Obi-Wan. He, too, had felt the deaths in the Force, and though he didn't know exactly who it was, he knew it wasn't his Obi. So, walking through the common room, down the short hall and into their room, he was more than startled to find Obi-Wan not in bed. Calming himself, laughing, a little forcibly, at his instant concern, he reached out and found Obi-Wan, like an echo, deep in meditation, in the small room they used for that purpose. It was like Obi-Wan was there but not there. Anakin blinked. Wasn't Obi-Wan supposed to be on his way to Utapau?

He reached deeper into the Force and finally understood, though the realization made his head spin. Obi-Wan wasn't on Coruscant, but he was there, in some sort of spirit-form, like when they'd _reached_ across the galaxy to touch each other. Except Obi-Wan had done this with the intention of staying, spirit-form only, in a place, not to talk. Anakin hadn't even thought of doing that; it wasn't hat he'd doubted it could be done but that he hadn't seen a reason for it. After all, Temple wasn't any Jedi's true home. But now he realized that Obi-Wan had, in a very real sense, been waiting for him to come home and this was the best way to wait- being sort of close while being literally parsecs away.

As his head stopped sp[inning, Anakin sat on the edge of the bed, shed his boots, took off the rags that had served him as clothes, and went in search of a clean robe so he could join his lover.

The rags had served him well, first in eantering the 'Dor, but more importantly in helping him first be accepted as Qui-Gon's slave and then as Qui-Gon's disobedient slave who had to be sent away. How Qui-Gon had managed to insert himself so seamlessly into the Separatist world was beyond Anakin, but no one had questioned Qui-Gon's presence in the slightest, and from their expressions it seemed they didn't even question in their hearts. Qui-Gon fit among them, completely above suspicion.

'And I'm meant to stay with them, some of them, for a little time. I've brought Xanatos back to Coruscant to find himself, and he has, and I've done my duty by you, but I'm meant to stay here with these.' And he had given Anakin the chip Jae-el had tossed him, saying, 'Take it back to Temple. Let it be analyzed.'

Allowing himself to think on Qui-Gon's words as he walked back into the common room, Anakin felt his anger rising like a black wave. He worked to dissipate it, but it wouldn't go all the way. He felt himself building boxes around it and he didn't know how to stop. Xanatos was here still? And Qui-Gon had left him alone? Force, he could be sneaking into Temple right now to lay a trap for Obi!

_You're angry. Talk to me._

Anakin blushed as he entered the dim mediation room and took his palce across from where his lover usually sat. _You're amazing. Do you know that? Where are you?_

_Very much asleep on a fighter headed for Utapau. I won't be there for several hours, hyper drive or no hyper drive, so I'm taking the opportunity to regenerate. Then I sensed you might need me and decided to see if I could reach for a place just like I could for a person._

There. Just as he'd thought.

_You're angry. What's on your mind?_

_Was I broadcasting? I mean before now. _How in the name of the Force could Obi-Wan feel him without him even being aware? Then: if he could feel Obi-Wan like an echo in the meditation room, it made sense Obi-Wan could feel him.

_No, but your shields are down and up until a moment ago, the Force had absorbed me so fully that I could hear half the dreams and nightmares going through minds there at Temple._ He spoke with no humor and with no urgency. _Tell me what's wrong._

_If you'll tell me why you're meditating while you sleep.._

A small wave of sadness crested in Obi-Wan's mind and splashed into Anakin's before receding. _Ferus, Gareth and Arnen have passed into the Force. And though I think they died at separate times, I felt it all at once; it invaded my dreams._ He sighed. _And Ni is dead as well. Now, your turn._

_I… Obi, give me a minute to digest this._

_No. Forgive me, Beloved; I don't mean to be cruel. But This anger can't be allowed to remain in your mind any longer. You have come too far for that._ His voice was all business and his own grief had been cast off. Not tucked away. Not even a little bit. He'd come back ot the pain, but for now it was completely gone.

Anakin wondered for a moment if that was how Obi would deal with Anakin dying.

_No. _And for a moment, his Obi sounded extremely impatient. Then that, too, was gone. _Anakin, stop stalling. Talk to me._

The boxes of rage were concrete things in both their minds and Anakin waved his hand at them. _I hate Xanatos. And I want him dead. I hate him for what he's been doing ot you your whole life, when he was there and when he wasn't. I want to rip off his dick, stuff it down his throat, plug his nose and takes notes on whether he dies from lack of oxegen or blood loss. _Two of the boxes burst open and he wasn't quick enough to keep Obi-Wan from seeing all that he wanted to do to Xanatos. Then another three boxes felw open and Obi-Wan was made to know that Anakin had seen some of what Fef'n had done ot him. Some of the worst parts.

_Ah, Beloved, _he sighed.

Anakin was surrounded by the anger for a moment, but he could hear his lover's voice and he fought his way to it. _And that's not even half of all I feel. If I ever see him, I won't be able to stop myself from killing him. And whatever he did to Padme when they talked? I'll kill for that, too._

_You're nto ready to believe me on this, but I'll tell you now and let it ramble around in you mind for a time: she can more than handle Xanatos. She forces him to prove his mettle each time they speak._

_He _has_ no mettle!_

_And there's another thing you won't believe me about right away. Anakin, _he sent, and Anakin felt the weight of his name on his lover's lips, _I won't ask you to let go of Xanatos's sins. That's not in your power. But I'm going to ask you to change something else in your mind, give yourself something else to think on, if you will. Well, two something elses._

_You think that'll help me not be angry at him?_

_No, but I think it will help you let the anger go, not because it doesn't still other you but because you have much else to concentrate on. Now, if I'm not mistaken, you still have the shield Master Yoda gave you. The one that he built to keep shut a back door into your mind._

Dimly, Anakin remembered demolishing that shield at some point along his journey, but when he reached for the shield, he found it re-established. _How did it-?_

_You were asleep when I put it back in place. This was when you asked me to be your balance._

_You did it without my permission?_ That so wasn't how Obi worked. Anakin was so shocked that for an instant he entertained the possibility that he wasn't talking to Obi-Wan at all, but some construct of the Dark Force.

_No. I had your complete and total cooperation. But, as I said, you were sleeping. It was the only way we could establish the shield. Every time we tried it when you were awake, it fell apart because you were so divided on the idea of having a shield in the first place. But you knew it was the right choice. When you take down the shield- you're definitely strong enough, morally as well as mentally, to do so- you'll remember all of this. All the questioning and all the debates, and finally the decision. I promise._

_I can't believe I'd agree to something like this._

_You did because your hatred of Xanatos daily more susceptible._

_Obi, this seems impossible._

_You don't think I'm Obi-Wan._ _I thought that might happen. Take the shield down, Anakin. Feel that I'm telling the truth._

Anakin felt a wave of pain from his lover and he reached out instinctively. _Obi, what is it?_

_I hated lying to you all this time. It hurts. I want so badly to be rid of it._

And _that _was his Obi, so Anakin stopped questioning, reached back, touched the shield, and bid it fall. And out came all the memories. _Shit. We argued for days. Almost a week. _And they'd started arguing as soon as Obi-Wan began to heal from what Xanatos had done to him. Anakin saw everything and not only knew it to be true, but was shocked that he hadn't remembered it. _Did you make this shield all by yourself?_

_No. As I said, you were completely in agreement with making it, and because you are so strong in the Force, you felt your way to making your own shield. This is more proof of your strength, Anakin. _Still that pain. _I'm so sorry I kept it from you. Time and again I thought of telling you._

_As much as I believe it, these memories… Shit, Obi, how desperate was I to heal that I did this to myself? _But he had the answer to that and he gave it. _I was thinking of going out after Xanatos. Not just thinking about it. Planning how I'd find him, how I'd kill him, and how I'd hide his death and my jump into the Darkness from you. _The truth of it all was becoming like a two-ton duracrete block. _As furious as I've been at him, I haven't had thoughts like those recently, not sicne we put the shield in place. _And that had been such a blessing. The anger had been devouring him, severing his ties wto the Force for the first time in his life because he absolutely refused to jump back into the Darkness as he sought a way to carry out his plans. At least he had learned _that _lesson- stay away form the Dark Side- well enough to know that he needed help.

Now he turned over the ideas of murdering Xanatos and saw them for self-killing thing they were. _Obi, help me open the boxes. I can't let go of hating him, but I can let go of some of this. I was planning… I was planning to hurt anyone who came between him and me. If there had been a youngling in the way, I would have killed her to get to Xanatos. Shit…_ He was crying but he didn't try to stop the tears.

_Sh, Beloved. Sh. You're opening the boxes yourself right now. Let go of your regret. Let it go. There's no one you need to ask for forgiveness. You did what was right, at the time, and you're doing right now if you'll just let go._

Anakin breathed in, drawing the Force close even as he drew Obi-Wan against him in that distanceless way that minds had. Boxes popped open here and there, above him, below him, all around him, and he kept letting out all he felt, sending it like bombs into a Force that couldn't be changed no matter how much pain he released.

He thought of talking about the mess he'd barely avoided, but let go of regret, as Obi-Wan had said, and was shocked to feel freedom surge inot him like it hadn't for years. He gasped and caught it up in his arms, throwing it into the air like confetti. And when it rained down, he laughed.

When he'd calmed, he touched his lover's mind and knew that Obi-Wan asn't following what he preached. _Obi, let go of your own regret. It was the right thing to do. And even if it hadn't been, it's over. Let go. Stop doing that old do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do crap. It's not you._

And Obi-Wan let go with a small chuckle of his own. _ I love you, Anakin. _Sending a thanks to the Force, he added, _We are each others' balance._

_Yeah. Even light years away. _Anakin grinned. _And I'm going ot stop being surprised by the wonders of the Force now. They've been thrown in my face so many tiems that you'd think I'd get it: nothing is impossible in the Force and the Force is everwhere._

Humor tainting his tone, Obi-Wan answered, _Force be thanked. He finally gets it!_

_Shut up. What happened to all your patience?_

_Just because I'm patient doesn't mean I can't rejoice._

Anakin smiled at that. Then: _You said I was supposed to forget about my anger at Xanatos. This didn't help in that way._

_True for you. Here's the thought I was going to give you to distract you, but I thought it best if we waded through that first: see the two of us standing in a meadow with nothing but acres of grass beneath and miles of sky above. See us there without our weapons and without Jedi robes because a time of peace has come._

_So... We're naked?_

Obi-Wan laughed. _I didn't mean that, but take it however you will. This is your vision, after all._ He paused, then, _Does that help?_

Seeing Obi-Wan lying in that tall, green grass with his eyes closed and complete lack of stress on his face as he slept, Anakin nodded. _Yeah._

Another few moments of joy passed between them. Then Obi-Wan sent, _I don't want to put an end to this, but there's something we have to talk about._

Anakin let the vision go, knowing he'd be able to gather it up later. He took in Obi-Wan's grief. _The ones who died._

_Yes. I'd spend a little time grieving for and remembering those we've just lost._

Anakin knew he needed to talk about all four who had died, not just to grieve, He had known them all in different ways. He nodded, knowing Obi-Wan could feel it in the Force. _Yeah. Now we should do that._

Time tally: 3 years, 3 months, 4 days


	58. The Fall of the Jedi 1

For Isolda and anybody else who's curious: The similarity to Christian beliefs was at first very much unintentional but since I was raised in and still live in that culture, I guess it was bound to come out. I hope Obi's less of a Christian saint now! In that state (earlier chapters, everybody) he sometimes got on my nerves! Well, I guess it was a growing experience for him, too.

For your amusement, the whole table of contents… I can't believe it's this long and I have at least another five hundred pages to go!

**Table of Contents**

SnapshotsPg. 1

The TruthPg. 14

Obi-Wan's MemoriesPg. 29

Obi-Wan's MemoriesPg. 44

Obi-Wan's DefendersPg. 57

Anakin's Dream: The First Time Pg. 71

The Voice of the ForcePg. 90

Listening to the VoicePg. 106

Obi-Wan's Defenders (2)Pg. 118

The Two Halves of the Light ForePg. 134

The Trials and the DecisionPg. 163

Crystal CavePg. 180

Targets of the Dark Force (Ragoon 6)Pg. 195

The PartingPg. 216

Anakin's Dream: FregalaPg. 231

Getting Reaquainted: Master and ApprenticePg. 256

Getting Reaquainted: Two MastersPg. 273

Mission for SixPg. 289

Rept'thikPg. 306

DisposalPg. 327

HopelessnessPg. 348

The Light Force Speaks AgainPg. 370

The Lonely Years (1)Pg. 398

The Lonely Years (2)Pg. 421

The Lonely Years (3)Pg. 445

Xanatos's DiscoveryPg. 466

The Dark Force Lays PlansPg. 485

On DagobahPg. 504

The Tree, the Talk, and the PreparationPg. 525

The ReunionPg. 546

Fear in the NightPg. 569

Going Forth As OnePg. 590

The SenatePg. 612

LostPg. 635

Separated AgainPg. 656

Anakin's VisionPg. 675

PromisesPg. 694

On GeonosisPg. 713

BrokenPg. 736

Last Peace Before the WarPg. 757

Boxes and BubblesPg. 776

Changing the Role of the Jedi IsPg. 798

Trials (1)Pg. 819

Trials (2)Pg. 842

ConfrontationPg. 864

Many Ways HomePg. 883

Prophecy and DreamsPg. 902

Five Years (1)Pg. 928

Five Years (2)Pg. 948

Five Years (3)Pg. 964

Five Years (4)Pg. 985

Five Years (Breaking)Pg. 1006

Five Years (Some Mending)Pg. 1030

Five Years (Escape)Pg. 1050

Five Years (Coming Home)Pg. 1079

Five Years (False Recovery)Pg. 1100

Five Years (Before the Abduction)Pg. 1126

Five Years (Abduction)Pg. 1142

Five Years (Dogfight and Rescue)Pg. 1166

Five Years (Planning)Pg. 1187

Five Years (Step One: The Rape)Pg. 1207

Five Years (Step Two: The Aftermath)Pg. 1225

Five Years (Xanatos and the

Plans for the Survivors)Pg. 1248

Five Years (Five Deaths)Pg. 1268

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- I)Pg. 1291

And now: on with the story!

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- I)

Anakin didn't sleep well once he and Obi had closed their bond. It wasn't grief, regret or shame that made it so: it was the nightmare. The second one about Padme and the babies.

Darkness swirled around everything, making the images at its heart indistinct. Anakin struggled to get closer so he could see, so he could hear, and Obi-Wan's face was the first to swim out of the darkness. His lover said, "Save your energy." Obi-Wan looked exhausted and grief-stricken. As if he'd lost everything he believed in.

_The Jedi have fallen,_ Anakin thought.

The perspective shifted and it was Padme he saw, swathed in white, her face bloodless. She, too, was obviously in great pain, and not just from the coming of the babies. "Can't…"

Obi-Wan again, sounding desperate. And, beyond the desperation, nothing. Obi had lost something dear to him. "Don't give up, Padme."

Anakin's eyes flew open. _The Jedi have fallen,_ he thought again, but that wasn't all. No, something worse. Something that was all but killing his Obi.

Like a ghost returning to haunt the house where it had died, this thought returned: if he died, would Obi be able to put grief for him aside, even for a little while? His lover's answer, though impatient, had spoken the truth: _No._

He sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed he and Obi shared, and he put his head in his hands. "I've been dreaming about his death. And Padme's. But what if I'm the one who's dying first? What if that's what's wrong with him? And her?" But she wouldn't die because he, Anakin, was dead. He wasn't that important to her. So why had Padme been so hurt?

All questions he couldn't answer.

Rising, giving up on sleep for awhile, Anakin dressed. He couldn't answer questions about the future, and in years past that would have driven him to distraction. But maybe he could answer other questions, ones about Kento and Ni. Ones that he thought Obi might, someday, want the answer to. And based on the way Master Bant had looked at Kento-Jae-el, and spoken to him, she might have those answers.

oOo

Bant wasn't expecting anyone to appear in her rooms just after dawn, but here was Anakin, looking as though he'd barely slept, and she knew she wouldn't get rid of him until he got something off his chest.

And that was not only the wrong way for a Jedi Master to think, but so bitter that she felt physically ill for an instant. How had Obi-Wan survived 'losing' Qui-Gon, if only for a little while? Reeft's memory had haunted all of her dreams last night and she couldn't see the end of her pain while her life lasted.

That, also, was unbecoming of a Jedi. But, Force, she needed him. Missed him. Wanted him so badly…

She collected herself as Anakin stepped in and the door closed behind him. "Would you like some tea?"

"No, thank you." He looked none too calm, as he'd been yesterday. She could read the need to know something on his face and wondered why he assumed she'd know how to answer his question. Was it about Obi-Wan? Surely he had moved past all such questions, the amount of time he and his lover spent together.

And jealousy was not a Jedi trait.

"Please sit," she murmured, gesturing to the couch. And though he'd said he didn't want tea, she went to the kitchen and started making some. Just to have a moment to calm herself. If that could be done.

But he followed her into the kitchen! Didn't he understand protocol or silent messages? She'd meant to be left alone for a moment, and here he was, not giving her the time she needed. Had he followed Obi-Wan around like this when the two of them were a master-padawan team? And if he had, how had Obi-Wan stood it and still kept that composed face around everyone?

Her hands shook as she tried to fill the kettle and water splashed all over the counter and all over her robes. She groaned and almost dropped the pitcher she'd been using to pour water.

Then Anakin's steady hand was on hers and he took the pitcher from her. "Please sit, Master. I'll prepare the tea, if you want."

She backed away and sat at the kitchen's small table. "Thank you," was all she could manage. Then she closed her eyes and tried vainly to center herself. But as she listened to him puttering around, she remembered Reeft preparing tea: Reeft had always enjoyed tea, at any time of the day or night; it was a wonder he'd been able to sleep.

Bant wept, face in her hands, her whole body shaking. She tried not to make any sound but surely Anakin heard; he was a Jedi.

He didn't come to her right away and for that she was grateful. She sat and let go everything except a tiny measure of self-control that kept her upright in the chair and not writhing on the floor. And she held in her screams. They wouldn't do any good, but maybe the tears, maybe some more tears…

There was a click as something was set on the table but she didn't look up. Then, gently, Anakin gathered her in his arms and eased her to the floor to be cuddled against his chest.

Here she sobbed for some indeterminate time, not thinking of him as Anakin, once padawan to one of her closest friends, once padawan to her beloved, but as only a Jedi.

Gradually, though her grief didn't go, its edge was worn away a little, and that was so much more than she'd ever felt that she cried for sheer relief. When this, too, had passed, she continued to rest in his arms. And as she rested them, she realized he was singing, had been singing for quite some while. And what he sang was so familiar:

"Love lie near me, Near enough to touch.

Love lie near me In the cool of the day.

Love lie near me And listen to a sad song,

One last sad song before I send you, I send you far and away."

She lost track of the words for a while, lost in the idea of sending Reeft anywhere. She hadn't sent him and she hadn't wanted to send him. The Force had sent him, if the Force was lord over all their lives. Or maybe just his killer had sent him, burning, writhing, his skin melting, into darkness.

Anakin's hand was on her back, smoothing her hair down, then reaching up to stroke it away from her face, made her sob again. "Reeft…"

His song stopped for a moment, and in the silence, she heard something she didn't understand. It was a voice she'd never heard, a child's voice, a little girl's voice, not Annie's voice, thank the Force, but a sweet, girl's voice. _Don't cry, Jedi. _She felt phantom fingers brushing her cheeks. _You'll see him in the next land._ And then, a woman's voice, as gentle as the child's: _You will see when you die that we all go to the same place. Some have the gift to come back and speak of that place and others do not, but all, in that land, are able to talk to each other._

But that wasn't what the Jedi were taught. And the Jedi should know, shouldn't they?

This was apparently her day for hearing voices, for another spoke, and this one she knew by name: Obi-Wan. He said, _The Jedi are not all-knowing._

Anakin was singing again. Bant raised her head and met his gaze as he finished:

"Love lies near me, Every night holding me.

Love lies near me, Forgiveness in his touch.

Love lies near me, Strength to my soul.

In the morning, love lifts me, at dawn's first pale light, love lifts me up.

"Obi-Wan sang that," he said, his voice a whisper. "When he was grieving for Qui-Gon. He didn't sing these verses until the funeral pyre, but he knew they existed. When he first sang me the song, he could only remember the sad part."

She gazed at him, not sure what to say, but believing that maybe, just maybe he'd been sent here not to ask something of her, or not only that, but to also help her. Maybe she had finally been heard. And if what the child and the woman said was true, couldn't Reeft have sent him?

She was dizzy with hope and the possibility of seeing him again. But she knew better than to ask Anakin about it. He hadn't heard the voices. "Thank you." She pushed away from him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve as she rose to stand beside the table. Looking down at the two cups of tea, she smiled a little tremulously. They were still steaming- a trick of the cups she'd given Reeft as a present- and she picked one up and held it in both her hands, letting the warmth seep into her bones. "Thank you, Anakin. It's been… nearly impossible since he died."

"I all but lost my mind when I thought Obi was dead." He stood and took his own cup. Lifting it, he said, "I'd like to toast his life. He helped me understand so much of myself when Obi was gone, and even when he came back and I didn't know how to confess my love or my anger."

She nodded and they clinked cups gently. "To Reeft," she murmured and drank. She drank all of it, needing the warmth inside her, and then set the cup down. She glanced at him and saw that he'd finished his as well. "How long have you been here?" How long had she been out, in other words?

He glanced at the chronometer. "About two hours. It doesn't matter. As long as it helped."

"Did you need something?"

"I wanted to know something, but… I'm glad I was here. I had Papa-" he blushed a little- "Yoda and Mace when I was grieving for Obi, and Obi had me when he was grieving for Qui-Gon, but I wasn't sure if you had anyone. I mean, Nela, yeah, but with so many Jedi gone from Temple…." He walked to her side and wrapped her in his arms again. "I'm sorry he's gone. If there's anything more I can do, just tell me."

An hour ago, she realized, it would have been on the tip of her tongue to ask him to kill her, end her misery. Now, still shocked by the possibilities of life after death, she realized she didn't need more than he'd already given. "Maybe we can sit and talk about him sometime. And not just you and me, but Obi-Wan, if he happens to be at Temple."

"I'll give him the message the next time we talk. I promise. And we can share memories now, if you want."

But for now, she didn't need it, and now, freed for the first time since his death to truly feel the Force around her in its ebb and flow, she said, "You have to ask me something that might help you later on." She walked to the couch in the common room, sat and gestured for him to join her. "Ask."

He settled beside her, gazing across the room. "It's about Jae-el. Kento. He's dead. Did you know?"

She hadn't until that moment, but she realized that she'd been expecting it since she'd seen him yesterday. "Was he the only one?"

He hesitated.

"I can handle it, Anakin. I'm not a complete flop, you know." She smiled, surprised once again how much brighter her world seemed with a little hope. How did so many Jedi live without that hope?

"Ferus, Gareth and Arnen are also dead. Annie killed them." He swallowed audibly. "Too. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring him up again so soon."

Bant's eyes narrowed and she realized she wanted her lightsaber in her hand as she hadn't wanted it for months. She released her anger into the Force, and for a wonder, it went. "It's wrong to wish for anyone's death, but I wish for hers."

Shaking his head, Anakin laughed. "Yeah. So do I. I think a lot of Jedi do. I think Obi would if he wasn't… well, wasn't _Obi_. Before he went on his mission to Utapau, he said one of us- either him or me- was probably going to run into her and that we had to be very careful. And even though he might have meant 'be careful not to kill her unnecessarily' I know he meant just plain old 'be careful.' Because she's dangerous, she doesn't care who she hurts, and she-"

"She used to care. You never saw her with Reeft, the two of them just walking together or him teaching and she listening, not always looking at him, and not connected by a master-padawan bond, but she cared about him. I could see it in the way she was with him. Not like most padawans, but still caring for him. In her own way."

Anakin scowled. "Forgive me, Master, but I can't believe that."

"Bant, Anakin. Please. After what you just saw, 'Master' is not the right way for you to address me."

He nodded. "All right. Bant. She killed Ryn-yn. She used his death in the Force to mask Obi's abduction. She doesn't know anything about caring."

"Not for Ryn-yn, no. Not for Mace, most other masters or any knights, and certainly not for any younglings. And not for Obi-Wan." She caught Anakin's hand and he looked at her. "Make sure you tell him that, Anakin: Annie doesn't care for her papa at all. He needs to understand that or he might underestimate her."

Anakin nodded. "I'll tell him." But he never did. It slipped his mind in the shock of what came in the next few days.

"But her relationship with Reeft was different than any relationship she's had in her whole life. If anyone stood a chance of saving him, it was her."

"How do you know?"

"I saw the way she was with him. It was…" She frowned, trying to work out a way to explain herself. "I can't be clearer than that," she said at last. "You'll just have to trust me."

"I trust you."

"And believe me."

He nodded. "But what you're saying is that she can't be saved anymore."

"I don't think she can."

He shook his head, hard, and laughed.

"What?" She sat forward and tried to catch his eye, but he was staring across the room again.

"Obi says there's good in Xanatos. If there is- not that I want to believe it- but if there _is_, then maybe there's some good in Annie. And if someone could reach Xanatos- that's what Qui-Gon was trying to do the last time I saw him- then maybe someone else could save Annie." He shook his head again, not quite as hard, and that humorless laugh escaped his lips again. "But unless some kind of miracle is worked, I won't be the one to reach her."

Bant considered that, wondering if she would be asked to reach out to this destructive child, but then pushed the repulsive idea away. If she was meant to help Annie Jinn-Kenobi, she would find herself with no other choice, in good conscience, but to help her. "What do you want to know about Kento?"

"What I really want to know is something you can't tell me."

"You might be surprised."

"Did he love Ni and if he did, why was he so… oily? Greasy? Looking at him, talking to him, made me uneasy. It was like talking to a snake that only talks until it's close enough to bite you."

"Kento hated the Jedi. But he hated his parents and their world more, so he never thought of running away. Or if he thought of it, he wasn't ready to go."

"What were his parents?"

"Drug dealers, or so I've always heard. I wasn't at Temple the day he arrived. Reeft was. Siri was. Garen was. But Obi-Wan and I- and Nela and you- were off on a mission."

"Why was he sent away from Temple?"

"Because he wasn't chosen by a master."

Anakin nodded. "That makes sense. But I've never understood why some initiates are chosen and others aren't."

"Neither have I. It's one of the unfair things, one of the wrong things, the Jedi still struggle against. Kento left believing that it was his blindness and his physical disability that made the Jedi discount him. He went bitterly, as many initiates do, and he most likely stayed that way.

"As far as his love for another, I know I told you he was in love; I was hoping you would learn the truth for yourself."

Anakin nodded. "I guess I'll never know if he was a decent person hiding in anger or an angry person who just happened to maybe love someone." He paused. "The one he loved? That was Prince Ni-kailo-Bel, of Bel le Taube. He knew Obi. He once maybe loved Obi."

She ignored all of that, thinking on something else he'd said. "I think what you're feeling is a sense of incompletion. You don't know if Kento was for the Jedi, for the balance of the Force, for the Dark Side, or against all of it. Is this the first time you've been confused about someone's loyalty?"

A pause, then Anakin murmured, "Yeah, I guess it is. I've been angry at people before, and I didn't trust people I thought I should, but those people, all of them, well, except Ferus, turned out to be for the Dark Side. Annie, ber'Nac, Xanatos." He sighed. "If I'm wrong about Xanatos, that'll make a second person. It's… disconcerting."

"I don't mean this to sound sarcastic, Anakin. It's a challenge you're learning about. But welcome to a grown-up world where many of the people you meet are trying to serve two masters. It never works for long, but they make it work for as long as they can."

He was frowning, but not as though he was angry. "I always thought I understood the idea that not all questions get answered, but I've never really run into that. There's always been an answer, even if it was awhile in coming."

"Then maybe you'll find the answer to who Kento was, and to who Xanatos can be. But don't spend time looking for it. There's too much to be done."

Anakin rose. "Thank you, M- Bant. If you need anything- to talk or anything- just call me."

She also stood, touched by his repeated promise. "May the Force be with you."

He gave the words back and left.

She went to bed and truly slept for the first time in months.

oOo

Obi-Wan woke five minutes before the fighter and its ring jumped from hyperspace. He didn't wake from dreams, good or ill, but his stomach was knotted nonetheless. He reached into the Force, seeking the source of what might very well just be indigestion. He didn't believe that, knew his body better than that, and so was not surprised, when the answer came.

_I'm pregnant._ He glanced at the screen that held his position in space. There was time to contact Anakin if he made it brief. He touched the fighter's communicator to life, scrambled the signal so it wouldn't be understood by any besides another Jedi, and opened a frequency. "Obi-Wan to Anakin. Come in, please."

A moment of silence, then: "Obi? What's wrong?"

"Do I sound nervous?" he asked, realizing that he did. "Forgive me. I'm calling with news. I'm pregnant."

Silence again, shocked this time, Obi-Wan judged. "But… Oh-" Anakin uttered a very un-Jedi-like curse. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." He waited, wanting to know Anakin's reaction, holding in his own, which was a combination of joy, amused consternation and concern. Though perhaps that un-Jedi-like curse had told him everything.

"This is a blessing," his lover said, sounding almost breathless. "You're pregnant with our baby. Obi… That's wonderful." A pause. "Are you all right?"

"In all senses of that word? Yes. Very all right." He touched his stomach, knowing he wouldn't feel anything yet but not able to resist the temptation. "Are you truly glad or is there concern mixed with your joy?" That sounded very stiff, but he couldn't make sense of his own feelings just now.

"I don't want you going on a mission when you're pregnant, and I'm worried about the Darkness that's coming, but the miracle of a baby isn't bad news."

"Thank you, Anakin. That's how I feel. When this mission is over, I'll be on my way back to Temple. We'll talk then."

"The Jedi might be disbanded by the time our baby's born."

_Disbanded. As if we had a choice in the matter._

There was a fresh wave of joy in Anakin's voice. "Maybe she'll have a chance of growing up with us."

Obi-Wan's heart leapt, but before he could say anything, the nav computer beeped. "I'm coming out of hyperspace. I'll see you soon. Be careful. Watch for Annie."

"Same to you. And be careful around Grievous. He's killed too many Jedi."

"I will." The fighter slipped into normal space. "May the Force be with you."

"And also with you. Anakin out."

Putting all thoughts of pregnancy out of his mind, Obi-Wan guided the fighter down through Utapau's atmosphere and down into a small gathering place in the largest city. This small bit of earth was where Jedi had been landing for centuries, bound on diplomatic missions. And now he was here to say one thing, do another, and hopefully capture Grievous before any life was lost.

_Force help me._ He raised the fighter's canopy and at once felt the rush of Dark Force. Grievous was definitely here… and he, Obi-Wan, was being watched.

As he left the fighter, he heard the distinct call of a large, lizard-like creature that was called, at least in translation to Basic, a dragon. It was a female, by his guess. Large, loyal, fast, and extremely agreeable with any Force-suggestions, they were a great ride.

An official- a magistrate, third level of command, stepped out to greet him. He stood before Obi-Wan and the Jedi bowed. Here it was custom for the visitor to show respect first then, if that visitor proved to be trustworthy, the bow would be returned later. If an official was already here, not waiting for him, since none had known he was coming, but here nonetheless, maybe the man had just been terrorized by Grievous or one of his officers. Obi-Wan exuded calm and control.

"Greetings, young Jedi." Yes, he was very young, based on the thousand-year life spans of these people. "What brings you to our remote sanctuary?"

He was most certainly being watched. More than likely by Grievous. Well, he could still surprise the general if he played his cards right. "Unfortunately, the war."

"There's no war here. Unless you've brought it with you."

"With your kind permission, I should like some fuel, and to use your city as a base as I search nearby systems for General Grievous."

The magistrate stepped closer and lowered his voice. "He is here. We are being held hostage."

"I understand." He hoped the magistrate hadn't been fitted with a wire that he didn't know about.

"They are watching us. Tenth level. Thousands of battle droids."

"Tell your people to take shelter. If you have warriors, now is the time." He bowed, and the magistrate returned the gesture. Then he turned for the fighter. It was time; he'd make all think he was leaving- R4 would see to that- and he'd find the general unencumbered. But, tenth level… He was on the first now. What was the quickest way to get up there?

He heard that female dragon call again and nodded. Perfect.

oOo

Annie kicked her way through half a hundred droids in her training room. She wanted to kill something that could feel, but she understood some of her master's plans didn't want to waste anything that he would use. But still, killing droids wasn't really killing. It was just wasting energy. Stuck with what she had, she destroyed and cut down until there was nothing left the droids but decimated metal. Not one piece was bigger than a fingernail.

When she had nothing left to obliterate, she sat down, called on all her anger at losing the boy and concentrated on that until it rose, ran its course through her blood, then ebbed because her body, like any mortal thing, could only sustain intense emotion for so long.

Calmer, she left the meditation room and wandered down to where she sometimes met her master. He wasn't here now, but that didn't mean she couldn't have access to some of the things he knew. She tapped into Grievous's direct communication channel. Centering herself and activating a small vocal device, she was ready to talk to him. "Grievous," she intoned, her voice male, low, scratchy. Her master's voice.

The disgusting creature sucked in a breath before answering. "Yes, Lord Sidious."

"Inform me immediately if any Jedi arrive on Utapau."

"Yes, my Lord."

She smiled. Most other underlings would question, especially in a case like this, where it was virtually impossible for the Jedi to find this best-kept secret: the most hidden Separatist base. Grievous understood that, for the Jedi, the impossible was possible. "Good." She cut the connection. There: that was taken care of. Now, what else could she do? The boy was gone and the blood that she'd taken to give her strength was still concentrated within her. In the simplest terms, she needed something to do.

Her comlink beeped and she took it out. "Yes, Master."

"I have another for you to kill, my apprentice."

She grinned. "A Jedi?"

"No. A former Sith. Darth Tyranus's betrayal and leaving was expected and he was no great loss. But Darth Calus was a good apprentice, though not half so talented as you. He must be tracked down and eradicated. He was seen around 500 Republica this morning, in the company of a certain meddlesome senator. If you would kill them both, another stumbling block would be removed from our path."

Annie's grin widened. "Of course, Master. I will tend to this matter at once." When connection had been broken from his end, Annie went for her robes and her weapons. She had cleaned them when she returned from the pleasurable Jedi murders, but it always paid to check them again. She would make sure everything was in running order, then set out to find this usurper who had thought to beat her to the honor of being Sidious's apprentice. She didn't need to know more to hate him. There was a rumor that he had nearly killed Obi-Wan, and if he had, she would thank him before he died, but he would die. She would plunder some of her master's files to find Darth Calus's likeness, and then he would not be able to escape her. Not knowing Calus's powers didn't concern her; working in a little ignorance had never been a problem. All questions would be answered in due-

Annie froze for an instant, then turned and rushed back to her master's rooms. Her mind was on fire. Ignorance obliterated? All her questions answered? Was that what she wanted? Was that her long-term goal? She considered it for a moment, then shook her head, disappointed. No. That was a _Jedi_ goal, one worthy of her surrogate papa, but certainly not worthy of a Sith. For a moment, she experienced confusion so deep that it was like Reeft was looking over her shoulder, his gentle presence throwing everything out of balance.

What did she even want to know? About eternal life? About bringing people back from the dead? Her master had hinted these things were possible. But they didn't interest her, so what did she want to know? All the small questions- about Jedi she had killed and who Calus was- those weren't real goals, were they? How had her life shrunk down to chasing tiny mysteries?

Sinking to a meditative position, she searched desperately for a goal. Yes, she hated the Jedi. Yes, she wanted to see many of them die personally (her stomach gave a pleasant flip at the thought of finishing what Calus had started with her surrogate papa). But after that? Power? Well, if she didn't have that, she wouldn't be able to pursue her own goals. So power was a necessity, but_ what did she want_?

Reeft.

But not the Reeft she'd known, devoted to the Jedi to the exclusion of all else. No, she wanted a Reeft she could shape and guide and bring up in the way of Darkness. She'd help him keep some of that gentleness; there was no way she would let him ever lose what had attracted her so strongly. And so she must keep him sheltered from the worst of the universe's pain. But she would raise him to love her, be devoted to her alone, and with that love and devotion she would not only have a goal- keep him safe and happy and in love- but she would want to make things perfect for him.

She wasn't sure how to bring Reeft back from the dead, and in a changed form, no less, but then a whisper in the back of her mind made her laugh._ Calus. Calus was a clone. He would know how to clone others._ Grinning, she headed for her weapons.

Annie had stumbled upon a desire that had plagued Clan Kenobi since time out of mind: the desire to have a child of her very own.

oOo

It was close to noon when Anakin, with Bant and Master Cro, gathered the younglings into one room and spoke to them of the time ahead. Four rows of almost twenty younglings each sat before them on chairs, on the floor and, in the case of the one- and two-year-olds, on the laps of other younglings.

Anakin had rarely seen so many children gathered together in one place. And their silence was eerie. He felt like he was being called to oversee eighty burials instead of eighty living, breathing, gifted children. If it wasn't for the masters who took charge, Anakin realized he might have been called to speak to these younglings. This had been Obi's task. Then Ryn-yn's, then Gareth's, or so he'd heard. And maybe it had been the task of others as well, but if so, all of those Jedi were dead. Anakin wondered if this new task, which hadn't been given to him, but for which he'd volunteered, would mark him for death.

_That's stupid. This was meant to be Obi's task originally and he's not dead. _But he had to resist a shiver nonetheless. The Darkness was making a leap upwards again and once more the connections between padawans and masters, and those between lovers, were being blocked. He couldn't reach Obi-Wan mentally and didn't want to reach out through the conventional method for fear that he'd give away his lover's position to listening ears. It had been risky enough for Obi to contact him about his pregnancy. Talking just to assuage his own fears was weak.

"The Force is out of balance," Master Cro began in that smooth, soothing way of hers. "The Dark Side of the Force gaining power. Some of you have seen evidence of that here at Temple. Can anyone tell me how they've seen it?"

A girl who had to be close to thirteen raised her hand.

"Yes, Thalia?"

"The communications here at Temple have been jammed. Both electrical and mental communication."

"Thank you. Others? Yes?" To a boy of ten or so.

"We're more likely to get angry if we're not vigilant."

She nodded. "Thank you, Hav'Ersh. Now that-"

But a little girl, no more than three years old, was standing up.

Cro smiled at her. "Yes, Mina?"

"The Dark is coming cuz the Jedi are going away."

No one spoke for almost a full minute. The younglings moved closer together. Anakin wanted to draw close to Bant but restrained himself.

At last, Cro spoke. "We're going away because the Darkness is rising.

"All of you are going away from Temple. You will be joined there and guarded by many padawans. Those knights who may join you will join you. As at Temple, you will train together and grow together. When the time comes that balance may be restored, you will come from hiding and begin the new Jedi Order."

Thalia stood. "Knight Skywalker, are you the Chosen One? It's been whispered you are." She blushed. "Forgive me, Masters, but it would give us hope to know the truth."

Anakin glanced at Bant, received a miniscule nod, and met Thalia's gaze. "Yes. I am the Chosen One, meant to bring balance to the Force." He wanted to add that he wasn't sure how he was going to bring balance, but that wasn't something they needed to know.

Cro waited as the younglings looked at each other and then turned back to her. When she had every eye, she said, "There will be ships to take you within the next two days."

Anakin's heart seized. So soon? How did she know it would be so soon?

"You will be safest if you keep shields around your minds at all times unless instructed to do otherwise by a senior padawan. For those of you who do not know how to use shields, you will be taught."

Anakin's comlink buzzed. He half-turned from the others and took it out. It was Obi-Wan. He retreated from the room. "Anakin."

"General Grievous is dead." Obi-Wan sighed; Anakin sensed him releasing, perhaps for the first time, probably for the second or third, the sorrow at having to take a life, even a half-life like Grievous's. "The leaders of the Separatist movement are headed to Mustafar." He paused. "Is everything well there?"

"I can't talk about the plans we're making. Just in case."

"I understand. How are _you_?"

"Fine. You? And the baby?"

"Both well. Except… I now know how your papa might have felt when you began to grow so quickly."

_Or rather, how Padme feels, since Yoda didn't have the child grow while inside him. _That went without saying. "Are you in pain?"

"There's discomfort but no true pain."

Which meant the baby had to be growing at an alarming rate: it had to be pain or Obi-Wan wouldn't have mentioned it. Anakin calmed himself. Obi would be home soon and then Anakin would be able to take care of him.

Obi-Wan continued, "I'll be returning to Temple as soon as I'm sure the government is recovering from what the Separatists put them through. These are peaceful people not used to being manipulated. Lucky for us, they still want to be part of the Republic."

Anakin felt his lover's hesitation. Obi-Wan didn't want to stop talking to him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing I can put my finger on. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Anakin wanted badly to reach out to him, hold him in the Force. But their connection was broken; he felt that without testing it. "Be careful. I'll do the same."

"May the Force be with you, Beloved."

He sounded so… hesitant. He couldn't find a better word for what he heard in Obi-Wan's voice, and Anakin wanted so badly to use their bond that he had to release that wanting in to the Force or be distracted by it. "And with you."

Obi-Wan broke the connection and Anakin returned to hear whatever else Master Cro might say to the younglings.

oOo

This couldn't be happening. And if it was, why was it happening to Padme Amidala? Wasn't her life complicated enough? Jedi, Force babies, motherhood with no father in the picture: wasn't that enough? Apparently not, for here she was, deeply interested in Xane (Xanatos) Cleer.

He'd told her the meaning of his first name and of his second; she at once called him by his second. And that made him smile.

He smiled, slightly, through all their wanderings by fifty shops, not really looking at anything, just talking.

He smiled, a little more, as they took lunch at a tiny café where no one paid them any special attention but the waiters made sure their glasses were always full.

Neither she nor he had mentioned Obi-Wan again, not once. Instead, she continued to watch him smile.

They sat in a large park, surrounded on all sides by bustling, rushing people, and when he held her hands in his, her smile equaled his.

They let the sun go down on them in that park. Both still talking and listening. Both still smiling.

Xane asked to walk her back to her rooms and she accepted.

The stillness of the air under the trees was broken only by the occasional calls and walking feet of the few other beings who had stayed in the park until twilight fell. Swathed in a head scarf, with one hand tucked into Xane's own, Padme drank in the stillness. Here, now, it was easy to forget that the fall of the Jedi was to come. It was easy, too, to forget that she was carrying the future of the galaxy in her womb. Right now, with Xane, she felt as she hadn't truly felt in years: free.

"You're thinking about something good," he said, squeezing her hand gently. "I hope you enjoyed this day as much as I have."

She moved a little closer to him so that their shoulders brushed. But she wasn't ready to speak. The stiffness was too delicious. Ahead of them, high up, four birds were situating themselves into a tiny nest. They looked snug and safe up there. Padme smiled.

"I'm not good," he said after they'd passed beneath that nest. "I'm not completely good. I don't even know how to act good. Like this morning, when you asked me not to talk about Master Kenobi." He chuckled. "And yes, it's easier for me to distance myself from him when I give him his title. I'm just following your lead, sweet Padme." He stopped, turned her to face him. "Don't think of this as a way for me to turn back to the Darkness. I want to be in the Light. I'm just warning you that I'm not perfect and that I can't fix everything overnight."

"If I expected perfection, I wouldn't be a senator." She smiled, teasing, well, trying to tease, because his eyes hypnotized her a little. Freeing one of her hands from his, she reached up and ghosted her fingers down his cheek. "I don't expect you to be perfect. And don't try to be what you assume is good. Do the best you can, like the rest of us, and that's all I can ask. Of you or anyone." She moved a step closer, giving in to the urge to inhale his scent, the fragrance that was undoubtedly _him_. "It's more than most of us can do. We try our best but we fail." She realized she was dangerously close to giving a sermon and stepped even closer so that she felt the hardness of his chest against her breasts. "Don't talk about what you can't do anymore."

"Just one more thing I can't do." His breath brushing against her lips made her dizzy with pleasure. "I can't leave you." He tipped forward, just an inch, and kissed her.

"Please…" she whispered as he pulled away. And when he came back, she moaned into his open mouth.

oOo

Nela had scarcely slept since Yoda had called her, K'Tel and Shekera to the Council Chamber. Protect the padawans who were going to stay here? How? Why would padawans be separated from their masters? Why had she and the others been chosen?

Nela rose from her bed only an hour after falling, mentally and physically exhausted, into it. She hadn't slept at all. Maybe she could go to her former master. Maybe together they could find some answers. But when she touched her comlink to life, Bant didn't answer. Nela would have been afraid, but maybe the signals were only being jammed again. That had happened twice in the last twenty-four hours. Quickly she dressed and left her quarters, heading for Bant's.

But as she made to board the lift nearest her quarters, someone called from behind her, "Nela! Wait! Hold the lift!"

She turned, surprised and yet not surpised to see Shekera and K'Tel running towards her.

"Master Yoda has asked us to report to the Council Chamber," K'Tel said. "There's been a change in the Force."

"There can't be a change in the Force," Shekera snapped as the three of them boarded the lift. "The Force is constant."

K'Tel made a face at her. "I know that. That's why we have to go. Maybe there's something wrong with Master Yoda."

"Or maybe you only misunderstood his message," Shekera said. "Besides, I thought Master Yoda went to help the Wookies."

"Maybe he changed his mind."

"Enough." Nela held up her hands as she had so many times between squabbling younglings. "We're going to clear this up. Until then, keep your opinions to yourselves, please." Master Yoda had said their skills would compliment each other. If that was true, was she to be the negotiator between these two? She'd never wanted to do anything but work with younglings. Initiates. Maybe a few of the youngest padawans. Now she was going to be a diplomat between fellow knights as well as a shepherd of padawans who would want, more than anything, to be out there with their masters?

Shekera sighed. "You're right. Fighting among ourselves- even stupid little arguments- can be really dangerous." She offered K'Tel a smile that was almost free of frustration.

The nod he gave her was just the same.

The lift doors opened and together they strode down the corridor. Well, not quite. Nela had somehow been named unofficial leader so that she walked slightly in front of the other two, who walked shoulder to shoulder.

Together they approached the very center of the Temple. Nela touched the chimes into life.

"Come in," said a voice that sounded a little like Master Windu.

Nela glanced at the other two. This situation felt… poisonous. Without a word, the three knights drew their lightsabers before entering. Such suspicion would have never entered their minds even a year ago, but none of them had been untouched by the war and each knew what the consequences could be for foolish trust.

Mace, a hologram, stood in the middle of the room. Or it looked like Mace.

Nela made a slight bow but didn't take her eyes from the central figure. On either side of her, K'Tel and Shekera lowered their eyes to the ground.

"Foolish Jedi." The figure that wasn't Mace chuckled and raised his hand.

A hologram couldn't hurt them, or shouldn't be able to. Still, Nela took a step back and stood ready to fight.

K'Tel and Shekera started to copy her.

Then electricity, like Force lightning, rained down from the ceiling. Nela leapt out of the way and found herself by the doors. She took a step back and they opened.

K'Tel and Shekera were killed instantly.

Nela knew she couldn't fight a hologram, especially not in a room that had been turned against her. She took another step back… and the hologram changed. It was now a man, shrouded in a hood, who stared at her.

"You have a little wisdom, Jedi." He pushed back the hood with both hands and she stared in horror at the face of Chancellor Palpatine. "Destroy me, Jedi." He laughed. "Or try. The Sith will never be ended by one such as you." The hologram winked out.

Nela fled. She took out her comlink again, praying it would work. "Master Windu!"

"Here. What's wrong?"

"The Sith! I know who the Sith is!"

"Calm down. Meet me at the east entrance to the Temple."

oOo

Padme, her hair unbound around her bare shoulders, brought him a mug of something steaming. He took it from her and wrapped his hands around it, not to warm them but to keep them occupied. He wanted to touch her again, and she wanted him to touch her again, but she also needed to talk about something. He felt that as he could still feel the flow of the Dark Force if he closed his eye sand concentrated. Had he breathed the Darkness less than a year ago? How could that be?

"Xane?"

He smiled, liking that name on her lips but not quite ready to call himself by this much healthier idea. "Padme?"

Her eyes sparkled. "I've fallen completely in love and I didn't know you beyond terrible stories days ago."

"Witness the wonders of the Force. It takes over our lives- well, my life- and brings us where we need to be. You didn't need to have it take your life over: you surrendered and agreed to help." He chuckled. "I guess I've done that, too, but it took longer." He felt so mellow that he didn't want to do anything but holding Padme and watch listen to the speeders race by outside her window.

Padme sat beside him. "You could move in here."

Her hand on his leg was warm as the mug between his hands. "I'd love that. I hope the father of your baby isn't bothered."

"Anakin?" She shook her head. "He'll hate the idea. But Obi-Wan will convince him that I'm not in danger and Anakin will find a way to accept it. He's grown a lot from the boy I met on Tatooine." She shifted closer. "But I don't want to talk about anyone besides us. We've managed to forget all the problems of the galaxy for most of a day; let's keep that going." And she kissed him, beguiling him and blowing away all his wits.

He sank into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her onto his lap. "You're so beautiful," he murmured when their lips parted. "If I'd known part of the reward of coming back to the Light would be getting to love you, I would have run back years ago."

She laughed and blushed.

She wasn't talking like she had all that day and when they'd first met, but he discounted that. He loved her no matter how she talked. And if she was in the mood for laughing and blushing, making beautiful color leap high in her porcelain cheeks, who was he to argue? He hadn't been so happy since… since…

_Since never. So I'll enjoy this. As she said, forget what's going on out there. What matters is what's going on in here._

But after less than a week of knowing Padme Amidala, having her say that she didn't care what happened beyond this room… That should have started alarm bells. But he was feeling way too mellow to start any kind of bells.

_Well, except wedding bells. _He grinned foolishly and kissed her again. Then he laid his hand on her belly, thinking to tickle her.

The baby kicked.

Padme gasped and her hand dropped on top of his. "Sh," she murmured. "Everything's all right. You're safe. I promise."

Her words were soothing and her voice was calm, but he sensed her coming back to awareness of the world around her. And even as she came awake, Xanatos felt something coming for them. His skin crawled as he left the couch and went to the balcony doors, closing them and then laying his hand on the place where the doors met. He closed his eyes and reached out into the Force, not sure if what he felt was dangerous or only a nuisance.

That question was answered when a backlash, strong as any directed Force-push he'd ever felt knocked him away from the doors and off his feet. He hit and rolled, coming up with his activated lightsaber in his hand. Now that the mellow feeling was gone, he recognized it for the false thing it had been. If he hadn't known better, he would have sworn that he'd been under the influence of a drug. But of course the Dark Force could be like a drug.

The Darkness was headed off in another direction. It had been passing them, lashing out at anything that dared to show a Force-sensitive nature. And now it was going away.

Or maybe it wasn't. There was still too much disturbance in the Force; they were still in danger. "If you have a blaster, get it," he said without turning his head. He used the Force to open the balcony doors as Padme ran for her room. He knew she wasn't going to hide and he thought, _If the Force had to choose someone to carry babies or it, it chose well._

The balcony doors were open and for a moment he was looking out onto an empty balcony. Then someone leapt onto the railing. A black cape dropped lightly over elegant shoulders. The woman was red-haired and so beautiful at eighteen or twenty that Xanatos felt an instant of dizziness. Her high, firm breasts pressed against a form-fitting tunic that left little to the imagination. Her hips were full with a delicate waist above, and when Xanatos pulled his gaze to her face, he gasped at the beauty of her green-blue eyes.

He didn't, as many Jedi had in the past, think of Obi-Wan. Instead, he took half a step back to give himself a little more room and allowed himself to feel the raw power rushing through her like a fire. "Annie Jinn Kenobi."

She smiled and when she smiled he understood why she was here, now: Sidious had sent her to kill him. And she would doubtless try to kill anyone found with him.

And yet she hadn't drawn her lightsaber. It hung in a holster at her side and her hands were nowhere near it. Not that she needed her lightsaber to do damage.

"Xanatos," she answered. "You have lost your title and soon I will gain mine." She closed the distance between them by half, then held her ground. "You know I'm here to kill you. But you aren't Jedi and you aren't against my master. You only want to be free to pursue your own way. I can respect that. Not everyone in the galaxy is meant to be for or against my master's goals. Some, like you, like so many of the senators in that presumptuous rotunda-" she gestured vaguely in the right direction- "only want to be able to live their lives.

"I'm here to offer you that chance. Help me obtain the one thing I want and I'll let you live and I'll even conceal the fact of your continued existence from my master as long as I can."

He watched her strike a waiting pose and he sensed the falseness against it. She wasn't a patient person and soon she'd lose the ability to play this game. He decided he liked this game, at least for now. She was easier to deal with this way than if she brought her fury to bear. "How can I help you?"

Her smile grew. "You're a clone, true?"

He nodded, thinking of Padme, listening to all of this from her bedroom. She was waiting until she was needed, keeping the element of surprise as the limited weapon it was against a Sith.

"I need to know how to clone someone. He's dead, but I can find some of his DNA if I try. Will that be enough to clone him?"

"It depends on what you have: hair, finger nails, or other things." Who did she want to clone? Sidious? No; she had said this was her goal and if there was one truth about all Sith, it was that they had selfish goals. Fulfilling a master's goals, if you were an apprentice, was done merely for the sake of self-interest.

"I have his body. Or I will, as soon as I raid the Temple."

"The Jedi cremate their dead." What Jedi? Now he did think of Obi-Wan, but the little he knew of Annie was that she hated the man who had given her life.

"There hasn't been a ceremony to do that to him."

Despite her strong words, he saw her concern. She hadn't kept tabs on this Jedi. "Who is it?"

"None of your business." Her eyes flashed.

Xanatos nodded. Fair enough; he didn't even really care. The Jedi, whoever it was, was dead, so any help he gave Annie in an attempt to keep her away from Padme today wouldn't hurt anyone: the Jedi she wanted was already dead. He almost laughed at how slow his wits were: if the Jedi was dead, it couldn't be Obi-Wan. He told himself he was relieved on Padme's behalf. "If you can bring me his body, I'll clone him."

She opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly something inside her cloak chimed. She was being called. She frowned for an instant; he saw the desire to ignore that call. Then she said, "I'll find you went I have his body. Don't' leave Coruscant."

He didn't have to swallow his pride to lie to her; he didn't have that much honor yet. "I won't," he told her with complete sincerity, planning nothing of the sort.

She turned and was gone.

Xanatos closed the balcony doors once more. "She's gone."

Padme came out of the room; a blaster hung at her side. Her eyes were blazing, but she didn't ask him if he was going to help Annie. "I think she sensed I was here. I felt her regard like grease on top of clear water."

He went to her but didn't quite embrace her. She wasn't afraid, only matter-of-fact, and he wanted so badly to hold her that he was uneasy. "I didn't sense that, but she is more powerful than I'd always assumed. And she's…" Did he want to tell her the truth? Well, the only reason not tell someone the truth was because they might not be able to handle it. Padme Amidala could. "She has aged with the help the Dark Force and yet she isn't thin or sickly, which is what happens with anyone who ages that way." He smiled dimly. "Trust me; I know. The only way to avoid that thinness is to drink Force-sensitive blood. It's the medichlorians that would give you strength if you were a Sith." He was embarrassed and thought that if she didn't know all his secrets now, she soon would.

Her face was tense, its sharp planes still beautiful even in the midst of whatever disdain she felt for him. Then her face cleared and he realized he'd read her wrong. She wasn't against him; she was worried for him. She took two steps forward and put her arms around him and kissed him softly. "We need to get away from here. She could kill you with little more than a thought no matter how strong you are. Because you aren't strong the way the Jedi are." She smiled. "I'm only being frank because I love you, Xane. I don't want you to have to go back to using the Dark Force to defeat her and as you are now, you haven't had enough time in the Light."

"Obi-Wan calls it the whole Force, but you're right; I don't have that strength." He was humbled and ashamed, but when he looked at her, that second emotion fled and he kissed her. "We'll find a way off this rock."

"But we have to talk to Obi-Wan first. Or Yoda. Because one of the children is supposed to come with us and the other is meant to be with Obi-Wan."

He felt his eyes widen and didn't try at all to hide his surprise from her. "You're carrying twins?"

She flushed with pleasure. "Luke and Leia."

He didn't want to talk to Obi-Wan or Yoda or anyone else; he wanted these two babies to be theirs. More than anything, he wanted to be alone with Padme. But he'd been dragged, kicking and screaming, back into pursuing balance in the Force and if he abandoned his duty now, the Force would make him pay. Maybe only by pushing him into decisions he would have never made on his own, but there were much worse ways he and Padme could be made to suffer if he didn't comply. It would have been funny if he wasn't suddenly so pissed: He'd left the Jedi to get away from doing the will of the Force, and yet he'd done the Dark Force's will often since then instead of pursuing what he wanted, and here he was again. Made to do what he didn't want. But this time he saw the truth: he could either obey or stand up to fight and be knocked down.

Kissing Padme again, he said, "We'll call Yoda."

oOo

As the moon rose, Anakin had retreated to his room to await Obi-Wan. He didn't think he could sleep, but he wanted to make sure everything was set for his lover's return.

Now, with everything set in readiness, he went to the room he shared with his lover and removed three boxes from the nightstand. He was possessed of a strange need to be nostalgic. He attributed it to the last words he'd heard from Obi-Wan, almost twelve hours ago: _May the Force be with you, Beloved_. Or, rather, just on that final word. It wasn't usual for Obi to call him Beloved, but to have him connect it to that standard Jedi phrase… Anakin banished the worry. He'd look at these boxes, satisfy his desire for remembering the past, then maybe half-meditate or work with his 'saber.

He opened the smallest box, not touching the grief-stone inside. He had received it from the stone-seller Caala, a gift, as she'd said, to Qui-Gon's padawan.

"I have no reason to grieve." Anakin closed the box quickly and set it aside.

In the second box, he found the other stone he'd given Obi-Wan: the Jedi Temple melded with a grove of B'yrch trees on one side and on the other side was this message, written over a stylized lightsaber: _Jedi Master, you follow the Light in the Darkness. _He'd tried several different phrases before Reeft had suggested this one. Anakin had loved it and he'd loved how much it had touched Obi-Wan.

He set aside this box, too, and took the pendant Obi-Wan had given him from the third box. He put it on, fingering the chain.

Then his communicator beeped. "Anakin, report to the Chancellor's office," Mace clipped. "Now."

Anakin didn't hesitate but stripped off the pendant, dropped it in the box and left the three boxes on the bed he shared with Obi-Wan. He called his lightsaber to his hand and ran from the room. Master Windu hadn't sounded upset, but if he ever sounded upset that would mean the Force was coming to an end.

As Anakin ran from the Temple, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being called to his destiny. _Force be with me._


	59. The Fall of the Jedi II

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- II)

Chancellor Palpatine never remembered his dreams. But on the afternoon before he issued Order Sixty-Six, he took a nap. He never took naps. But he found himself falling asleep at his desk and he at last gave into the need for sleep. It angered him and drove him almost to the point of insanity, but he settled himself on the couch in his office and gave himself over to sleep. _Perhaps, _he thought before dropping down into unconsciousness, _I overextended myself when I reached into the Jedi Temple. _Then he laughed. _No. I merely need to be more precise next time with how I spend my energy._

He dreamed and several things came clear to him. When he woke less than ten minutes later (a little, Dark miracle was worked in those minutes so that he dreamed without going into the deep sleep usually required) he at last remembered his dreams. Not just this one, and not all the dreams he'd ever had, but the prophetic ones. The ones which had come from the Force and he had forgotten. Leaping to his feet, he knew he needed to prepare himself for the Jedi who must, even now, be coming to dispatch him.

Anakin Skywalker was a danger to his new apprentice, more of a danger than he had first thought. Anakin Skywalker could kill her, and without too much trouble. More: Anakin could kill _him _if he wasn't prepared. Anakin was filled with more power than rage. When he was a troublesome little boy, he wasn't truly trouble because his anger had always pushed him towards the Dark Side. In fact, Sidious knew that Anakin had gladly danced in the Darkness more than once. But that was long ago and though he had the idea that Anakin was far from unshakeable, he wasn't close to tottering. If there was any chance of the Darkness continuing to rise in the next four or five centuries, Skywalker had to be shoved over to the Dark Side. And once there, even if only a little, he had to die.

Palpatine sent orders to his secretaries and his security teams that he must not be disturbed. Then he contacted all the commanders of the clones and issued Order Sixty-Six. This done, he contacted Commander Cody again. "Make sure Kenobi is dead," he told the holographic projection. "At all costs, make sure he's dead. Don't dare come back if you can't prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I want his head, or, failing that, as many of his body parts as you can find."

"Yes, sir."

Palpatine closed the communication. There. If Kenobi died, Skywalker would follow. But, just in case the thrice-cursed Jedi master wasn't killed… He called all his hunger and hatred and power to the fore and sent this into the Force: _Obi-Wan is dead._ He sent this over and over, until the Jedi arrived to try and dethrone him.

oOo

As he sprinted from Temple to the Senate rotunda- every single speeder was gone- Anakin didn't hear Palpatine's first sending or his fiftieth, but the nearer he got to the Senate, the more sure he became that something terrible had happened to his lover.

oOo

Xane- it was all but impossible to think of himself by that name again- missed a step and dropped the cup of tea he'd been bringing to Padme. The Dark Force was alive with Obi-Wan's death. He wasn't feeling it; he was breathing it. He could feel the anguish in the Force, the scream of something _longed_ for denied.

No. Wait. It was only the Dark Force he heard. Or maybe he wasn't the one to judge. He hadn't been this way long enough to judge anything.

"Xane?" Padme came to the doorway of the kitchen but she was pale and her hands were shaking.

He crushed the teacup under his foot as he crossed to her. He tried hard to ignore what he heard in the Force- was it even the Force or was he just imagining things?- and took Padme in his arms. "It's all right. I'm fine. And so are you." He touched her swollen belly. "Are the babies moving?"

She shook her head and pulled herself together with what seemed a supreme effort. "I felt something. It was like..." She swallowed, closed her eyes for a moment, and seemed to take an even tighter grip on herself. "The Dark Force was trying to separate Obi-Wan and Anakin once not long ago. The Dark Force tried to use me as a pawn. It… made me jealous of Obi-Wan, tricked me into thinking I loved Anakin." She shook her head. "This is like that but not quite. It's like… a dark mirror image of those few terrible minutes." She stepped back, not pulling away from him (her eyes told him this) but standing, figuratively and literally, on her own feet and wits. "Do you feel it?"

"I feel something." He reached out and touched her belly again. "They're sleeping, your babies. That's good. The Dark Force isn't after them. I think it still doesn't know. Or at least that Annie Jinn-Kenobi and Chancellor Palpatine don't."

"Chancellor Palpatine?" She wasn't stupid; he saw the connection as it was made in a split second. And though it wasn't the biggest connection, or even strictly true, it was what was most important to her. "He's the head of the Separatists?"

"He's the Sith Lord. Annie's master."

"Oh…" That shuddering breath bled from her lips before she mastered herself once more. "We need to tell the Jedi." She turned, going for the communicator she must have left in the other room when she heard him drop the teacup.

He caught her arm. "They already know. They're doing the best they can right now." That, at least, he was sure of. And he wouldn't speak of what he didn't know.

But she was now focused again on what had frightened her. "What's happened to Obi-Wan? Do you know?"

She knew it was about Obi-Wan? He posed this question to her.

"Yes!" She clawed little shreds from the air. "What happened to him?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not even sure anything has happened. It might just be a trick. I can't tell. I haven't been out from under the Shadow long enough." He hated that weakness and grimaced.

She came to him and touched his arm. "It's all right. I know how we can find out."

"No. Wait. Who are you going to call?"

"Yoda."

That would be all right. "Fine. Just not Anakin. He loves Obi-Wan too much. He may have believed the rumor, if rumor it is. He might not be… stable."

"He's stronger than you think."

There was no anger in her voice. That was, he realized, one of the reasons he loved her. He told her so, adding, "I'm a suspicious, demanding ass sometimes. Forgive me?"

She kissed him lightly, then strode back into the living room and scooped up her comlink. "Padme to Master Yoda."

There was no sound for a moment, then, "Padme. It's good to hear your voice again after so many years."

She went absolutely white and started to fall.

Xane caught her and settled her on the couch. "It's just Qui-Gon," he told her. "You knew he was alive."

"I didn't quite believe…" She straightened her shoulders. "Forgive me, Master Jedi. It's been too long." But before he could return any pleasantries, if he'd intended to do so, she asked, "Is Obi-Wan all right? I felt something and Xane says something bad might have happened to him but he can't be sure, either." She found Xane's hand without looking and when her fingers closed around his, he squeezed gently.

"Obi-Wan is fine." Qui-Gon sounded completely sure. "It's just a Dark Force trick." The connection crackled. When it cleared, they both heard, "…not hurt. I'm sure of…"

"Master Qui-Gon? Are you still there?"

But the connection had gone dead.

Padme looked at him and Xane did all he could: he told her the truth. "That's the Dark Force at work, too."

"Where was he calling from? From the Jedi Temple?"

"There or very near it."

oOo

Qui-Gon came to Temple. He didn't know why he was here, now, but he didn't need to know. He followed the call of the Force to Bant's quarters and touched the chimes outside.

The door opened and for a moment, she just stared at him. Then she laughed and jumped into his arms.

He held her against his chest, stroking her white-blond hair. "It's good to see you."

Laughing, she shook her head. "Is that all you can say?" She drew back. "It was so hard to find out that you were dead."

"And yet you're not surprised that I'm alive."

"Most of us heard that you came to stop Obi-Wan from taking the sleeping-drug."

"Ah." He held her at arm's length. "Forgive me, but this isn't a social call." He hadn't known why he was here; now he did. "I'm here to take charge of some of the younglings. Can you lead me to them?"

She nodded. "Which ones?"

"I'll know them when I see them." They began to walk. "Is Obi-Wan here?"

"He went after General Grievous to bring him to justice."

Qui-Gon knew this but didn't interrupt.

"He was forced to kill him instead."

That must be hard on Obi-Wan. "When will he return?"

"He contacted me less than five minutes ago. He'll be leaving Utapau within the hour."

Utapau. That meant Obi-Wan would be back by mid-afternoon. Good. Maybe they'd get another chance to talk. Not that he was so desperate to convey his whole soul to his Obi now. A subtle change had worked in his heart since they'd parted. He thought at last he was healing from the broken heart he'd clung to for so long despite everything the Force had tried to do for him.

It came down to this: he wanted to see Obi-Wan safe. And he wanted to hold his Obi. But his Obi wasn't his anymore, except as a brother, and he'd at last made peace with that truth. He'd have to tell Anakin. Force, he'd made the young man so uncomfortable with his jealousy.

And with that jealousy now gone, it was easy to see that Anakin and Obi-Wan made each other extremely happy.

Bant said, surprising him, "There's something beyond the nothingness of death, isn't there?"

Qui-Gon stopped walking and faced her. If he had let her question go, hadn't put off finding the younglings, maybe things would have ended differently. "Why do you say that?"

"The Force spoke to me." Bant blushed. "At least, I hope it was the Force. It might have just been my own wishes. Because I miss Reeft." Tears shone in her eyes and blinked them back. "What I heard were two voices: Obi-Wan's and the voice of a woman I've never met. They both implied there might be something after death, a place where we can all be together again. It was such a good thought it's probably not true, but if it's true…"

He'd never seen Bant so undone. And never expected to see her so. Maybe, for her, love hadn't been the right choice. But who was he to judge? They both stood here, now, without those they'd once vowed to love forever. "I don't have an answer to that, Bant." He touched her shoulder. "But if there is hope, hope." He took both her hands in his because she needed, and perhaps he needed, the extra contact. She wanted what he couldn't give, but what he could, he gave gladly. "It's never wrong to hope."

She smiled up at him, her lovely silver eyes wide with a child's need to believe. In the mature face she'd gained, those eyes were haunting. "Thank you." Some of that child-need left her gaze and she was again Master Bant. "When he died, I thought I was going to go insane." She laughed bitterly. "I'd healed from Garen's and Siri's deaths so well and it wasn't as if Reeft and I had spent much time together since our declarations of love. But the little time we did spend took on a magic quality in my mind even before he died. Having him so close helped me face the rising Darkness." She sighed. "I guess I've dedicated myself to pursuit of Reeft instead of the Force. Now all I can hope is that there's time to fix my mistake."

"If you've admitted your failing, you've taken the first step to fixing it." He squeezed her hands, bent down, and kissed her cheek.

Blushing, she laughed, then kissed him back in the same way. "You've become so much more open with those immediately around you."

"I have both Obi-Wan and the Force to thank for that. Come. We should go to the younglings now."

oOo

Mace stood with Nela, Kit Fisto and Ki-Adi-Mundi. They were together in the shadow of a pillar outside the senate rotunda. Chancellor Palpatine- Sidious, Nela said- was waiting for them. Mace didn't doubt, but his mind tried to shy away from the thought. How could the Sith Lord have been huddling in their midst all this time? And not exactly huddling, either. He'd managed to stay in power much longer than any chancellor in history and if he was the Sith Lord, he was most likely responsible for all the corruption in the Senate, or at least for encouraging it.

Mace remembered suddenly something Yoda had told him: Obi-Wan hadn't like Chancellor Palpatine when the younger master had been working in the Senate. And it had been more than it: dislike was not only a weak word, but the wrong one. Obi-Wan had distrusted the chancellor and perhaps even seen him as more of a threat than a politician could generally be. Palpatine, at least according to Kenobi's strongest idea, had been a threat in the Force. Why hadn't they listened to that idea? Probably because Obi-Wan had been so young at the time, young in the ways of the Force even though he was a master and young in the ways of politics even though he was an expert negotiator.

And had some of Mace's own doubt been caused by pride? If the Sith , or anything half that powerful, was hiding in the Senate, surely the Jedi would have sensed it. How could Obi-Wan, who was a hard worker, no doubt, but who lacked Mace's strength in the Force, have sensed something none of the rest of the Jedi had? It was unfathomable.

Yet it seemed now that it was true.

"Master?" Nela asked.

She was talking to him, and she was whispering as though she was afraid they might be overheard.

"Yea?" he asked, turning to face her. In his agitation, he didn't notice that he'd slipped back into an accent that he'd used as a very young man. Then she blinked; he read the surprise on her face. He looked back at what he'd said, felt the tension in him, and released all to the Force. "Yes, Knight Nela?"

"How could the Sith reach into the Temple, through a hologram, and kill us?"

"Someone at Temple rigged the very ceiling of the Council Chamber." He didn't want to tell her the truth, but to be a Jedi was to speak the truth. And besides, they all needed to know what they were up against.

"Who did it? And when?"

"We won't know that until we go into the Archives and look for ourselves." He turned his head. Someone was coming. He felt the surge in the Force. Anakin. Good. They were going to need him. Not that Mace was afraid four Jedi couldn't handle Sidious, but extra back-up was good. Truth be told, though he was confident, if Mace had to face Darth Sidious and he couldn't have Yoda at his back, he was glad to have Anakin among those who could join him.

Anakin appeared, running full-out. He skidded to a halt before Mace, hardly out of breath, and bowed slightly. "Masters." He glanced at Nela, nodded to her. Then, to Mace and he was suddenly formal, as if he sensed the seriousness of the situation, even if he didn't understand its cause, "Master Kenobi-" his voice broke a little; maybe the running had gotten to him more than he wanted to let on; if he'd sprinted all the way from Temple, there was no shame in that- "reported in. General Grievous is dead."

Mace nodded. He'd heard as much from Cro earlier, and though he'd wanted to go to demand the Chancellor relinquish his powers at once, he'd had his hands full with helping Bant organize the padawans and younglings into the groups they'd have for travel. They would be leaving at dawn, flying right towards the sun, where visibility for anyone tracking them would be worst, as would the radar signals that could often get jammed by the radiation sent out by Coruscant's sun. "Knight Nela has good reason to believe Chancellor Palpatine is Darth Sidious. We are going to find the truth."

Anakin paled for a moment, then nodded, composing himself. He was hardly the boy he'd been when Mace first laid eyes on him. "Yes, Master."

Mace turned his gaze on the rotunda. It was time. "Keep your lightsabers concealed. We don't need to make any extra trouble for ourselves." He glanced at Anakin. "Can you make it so the chancellor can't call his guards?"

Anakin nodded. "I've done some… poking around in the rotunda before."

Not surprising. Mace almost smiled. Almost. "Let's go. Keep your minds guarded and your faces expressionless. Whether he is or isn't the Sith, we don't want to tip our hand too soon." And he led them towards the main doors.

oOo

Utapau was in the grip of Order Sixty-Six.

Obi-Wan didn't know that. He knew only that the clones had turned against him and he sensed that he had been used by another hand to kill Grievous as the Dark Force had used Anakin to kill Count Dooku.

Every clone seemed to be converging on him from all over the capital. That was all right, actually, just so long as he stayed away from the populated areas.

As he rode the dragon, his baby shifted and he gasped, more in pain than surprise, and almost fell. It shouldn't be possible for a child less than a day conceived to shift, but it had happened. He was increasing rapidly. Wasn't accelerated growth courtesy of the Force unusual?

He and the dragon were hit by a blast of burning energy, and then they were falling.

oOo

As he and the others followed Mace towards the Chancellor's office, Anakin felt the shock of pain in his midsection like a blaster bolt. His connection with Obi-Wan had been cauterized/ It might never be reborn. At first he didn't realize that it was Obi-Wan's pain that felt. Then it came again, along with the suffocating pressure of being submerged in deep water. He gasped, staggered, and Kit Fisto caught him.

"What's wrong?" the master asked. Then: "It's a lie about Obi-Wan. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah…" Because if Obi-Wan was dead, he wouldn't be feeling this pain now. But it could be a precursor. Anakin closed his eyes for a moment, trying to call on the Force. But everything around him was Dark. He swallowed and sought within himself. Here he found the whole Force, rested inside it for a moment, and then opened his eyes. "I know. He's fine." And from that moment until he saw Annie in Chancellor Palpatine's office, he believed it.

oOo

Mace Windu went to his fate with the knowledge that the connection he'd sensed between Obi-Wan and Anakin was about to be shattered, perhaps to be mended, perhaps not. He went, too, with the understanding that there was nothing he could do to protect Anakin and that Obi-Wan was also far outside his influence. He spared less than a moment's concern for Obi-Wan, and mostly for Yoda's sake. The concern he felt for Anakin was no longer but it came on his own account. Anakin wasn't his son, but he was closer to his son than Obi-Wan, who had been almost an obsession for Yoda, which couldn't be healthy. Besides…

_I am being tempted by the Dark Side,_ he thought, and he smiled. Knowing the temptation was first, biggest, step to ending it. He strengthened his shields and cast all atypical thoughts away from him. Then he cast out the typical thoughts as well because it was in these typical thoughts that the temptation had grown. _Forgive me, Yoda. I've been jealous of how you care for Obi-Wan. I will stop thinking of him so uncharitably. Let me be to me as he is to you: as dear as any of our children or, failing that, as dear as any Jedi, someone I would die for._

"Mace?" Kit asked.

The other master glanced at him and raised an eyebrow.

"You were smiling." Kit's own eyes were bright with the promise of coming battle. He believed, with his whole heart, that Palpatine was Sidious; his expression said as much.

"I'm completely at peace," Mace answered.

Kit grinned at him. "Good. I hope you and I and all those who can will live to see that peace bloom across the galaxy once more."

Mace nodded. They took the elevator up to the chancellor's office. The silence in the car would have been disconcerting to most people, but every Jedi in the little car had reached out, as if with one mind, to the whole Force, and so it was that they came from the car both united and stronger than they had been when the elevator first arrived.

Mace led the way into the chancellor's office. He didn't bother to ring the bell. He sensed the others form a guard behind him. They would spread out once they were in the room. He sensed something besides those Jedi with him, but it was far away, though getting closer, and because he couldn't read it better than that, he let it go.

Palpatine sat in his chair, looking both unassuming and compassionate. The perfect politician. Mace had a moment of doubt.

"Master Windu." Palpatine did everything but smile and offer his hand. "I take it General Grievous has been destroyed, then."

There was a flicker in his eyes, something Mace couldn't be sure Anakin or Nela saw, something he knew the other masters would recoginize. He didn't go for his lightsaber just yet, but he hoped the other master had conveyed, with a look or otherwise, this order to the younger ones: be ready.

"I must say, you're here sooner than expected."

No dancing. Dancing was done. As he spoke, he removed his lightsaber slowly and flicked it to life. The amethyst blade hummed in tune with his words. "In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you are under arrest, Chancellor."

The old man's eyes went to Mace's blade, but casually, as if he had nothing to fear. "Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?"

"The Senate will decide your fate." _Unless you are Sidious, in which case you'll go right to the Temple and there you'll stay. For all time._

"I_ am _the Senate." His eyes burned like diseased suns.

He was Sidious then. Mace didn't doubt at all. He could feel the Sith's power and wondered how the man had been able to hide it for so long. _Simple: he's the master Sith. Obi-Wan killed the apprentice all those years ago. _"Not yet."

Sidious rose. His eyes glowed again with that something Dark as he drew and activated his own blood-blade. "It's treason, then." And he leapt.

oOo

Anakin sensed her coming. As the air was bathed in the stench of roasted flesh and burning hair, he knew Annie was coming. He somersaulted over Mace's head, over Sidious's, and met her as she exploded through a window. She wasn't hurt by the glass and he cursed her luck.

Behind him, Kit Fisto screamed, "Light!" and died.

Annie's blade was drawn. She had a Sith's blade. Anakin wasn't surprised. He could feel the Darkness swirling around her even more than that which came from Sidious. That was probably because she didn't know how to control it even a little. He could use that.

She charged.

He shoved her with the Force, meaning to push her back through the window. And if she died, he'd apologize to his Obi later.

She stumbled backwards, then a wave of Dark Force threw him to the floor and caught her.

Anakin rolled with the wave, came up on his feet and leapt at her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Mace was still standing and that he'd engaged Sidious at close range. Then he was on Annie and their blades crossed with a stuttering of power that could fry either of them if the blades slipped.

She was stronger than he'd expected. And older. She had to be at least seventeen. Or twenty. But it was her strength that shocked him more than her age and he staggered, trying to protect himself as she came on.

Her blade grated free of his and she cut at his head.

He jumped away, scooping a little Force out from under her feet. She stumbled again and this time no one came to her rescue. Sidious must have been busy with Mace.

The air behind him was suddenly saturated with electricity.

Annie ran past him, heedless that he could have killed her if he hadn't' been shocked himself.

Mace was holding off Force lightning with the blade of his lightsaber. But he was doing more than that because Sidious was being burned by the lightning he was trying to use on his enemy. Anakin almost laughed to see it.

Then Annie raised her lightsaber over her head.

It was a melodramatic movement, but Anakin thanked her silently for it. He was able to rip the weapon from her hands and send it spinning across the room.

Annie screamed and went for it.

Again Anakin could have killed her in her blind ignorance and obsession, but this time Annie saved herself, though not on purpose.

"Annie!" Sidious cried. "Help me! He's going to kill me!"

She whirled and came back, hitting Mace not with the Force, but with a blaster bolt. It ripped into his side and out of his chest. He staggered.

Anakin leapt at her, forgetting that he could drag her back with the Force. Before he reached her, he slammed into a wall of Dark Force and fell onto his back.

Mace was engulfed in Force lightning.

Winded, Anakin struggled to his feet. But before he could take a step, Annie said, soft as creeping death, "Order Sixty-Six. All the Jedi are dead but you two. Qui-Gon is dead. My papa is dead. Your papa is dead. You have nothing left."

And in her eyes he read truth.

Mace screamed.

_Obi's dead. My Obi's dead._

_Yes, _came a voice that would have been his lover's if his lover was still alive, _and if you just stand here, Mace will also die. And with him gone there will be little chance you'll leave this room alive. And if you die, Beloved, so will all Jedi._

Anakin could have argued that all the Jedi were already gone but the voice his mind had invented had one truth not expressed in the words: he wanted to live.

He shoved Annie aside with the Force and charged Sidious.

The Sith Lord didn't glance his way. Instead, he used the lightning to hurl Mace sideways through another window.

Anakin went out of the window after him.

oOo

"Darth Vader," Sidious murmured, laying a hand on Annie's shoulder. She had bowed herself to the floor, offering her neck to be struck if he wished, offering herself to his service. "Rise."

She obeyed, meeting his gaze. She needed to have an answer to two questions and fear of what she had watched him do had given her a new respect. Maybe it was good that she hadn't yet set plans in motion to kill him.

"You have a question, my apprentice?"

"Yes, Master. The Force lightning… Can I learn how to use that?" Having such an amazing weapon would help her protect her little Reeft when he came into the world. Protection aside, it was also an amazing means of torture. Her gaze traveled to the shattered window and she wondered if the Jedi were both dead. If they were, then she had two more out of her way forever.

"Of course. It is a gift that all Sith share gladly." He smiled at her. "But you have another question."

She blushed a little. Was wanting a child a Sith goal? _If it is or if it isn't, it doesn't matter because it's _my_ goal._ "I want a clone of a Jedi who has died. A Jedi who would have come to the Dark Side easily if he hadn't been so brainwashed by all those around him." She saw with pleasure that she had truly surprised her master. That meant he didn't know her as well as he pretended and that was a reason to rejoice. The more ignorant he was of her thoughts, the safer she would be.

Sidious was quiet for a moment, and then he nodded. "We can clone anyone. What Jedi?"

"Reeft." Her heart soared to hear his promise that the two of them together could clone Reeft. That meant she didn't need Xanatos. That was good. She trusted him less than she trusted Sidious.

"Very well. But first, I have tasks that must be completed so that all other Jedi are wiped out. Their reign is over."

She bowed. "Of course, Master."

oOo

Anakin called Mace into his arms as they fell. He reached out to everything around him to control their fall, but all was Dark. He simply didn't have the time to reach into himself. And he feared that he would get nothing better seeking Light inside. Obi was dead. Obi was gone forever. They'd never embrace or lay in bed together as dawn approached. And with Obi-Wan dead, their child was dead, too.

They hit something hard enough to knock one of Anakin's teeth out and he cried out in shock, clutching Mace to him.

_You worked with the Force to catch him. Use that same connection to control yourself, figure out what you hit, and then get safely to the ground._

That was his lover's voice again and he sobbed.

"Stupid bastard, get in here!"

Anakin glanced down and saw Xanatos glaring at him from inside the speeder. Anakin had fallen onto the roof and the only reason he hadn't fallen back off was because Xanatos was holding him in place with the Force. Anakin was so far gone he couldn't even tell which half of the Force Xanatos was using. Groaning, more in grief than physical pain, he slipped Mace into the speeder. The master wasn't moving. He might be unconscious or dead. Anakin followed him into the speeder and the roof closed over them.

Padme was piloting the speeder. As she banked the vehicle, heading away from the Senate rotunda, Anakin saw that her belly had swollen greatly. She was allowed to keep her babies- his, too, he guessed, but they didn't feel like his- and his Obi was dead? It wasn't right. "You didn't need to save us. Well, not me. I'm sure Yoda wants to see Mace."

"That's pretty selfish talk, Chosen One," Xanatos said, and then he laughed. "You're not going to tell me you believe the rumor in the Force?" He turned half around from the copilot's seat. His eyes danced with humor that was just this side of malicious. "Obi-Wan's still alive. And even if he wasn't, aren't you supposed to do your part in the name of the Force?" Again he laughed. "I guess all that Jedi talk was just talk. It's really only Obi-Wan that's ever held you to the Light Side, huh? Pathetic. Idiot Chosen One. No offense to the Force, but it sure can pick 'em: a selfish jerk to save the universe, little babies to-"

Padme smacked him, good and hard, without taking her eyes from the sky. "Shut up. You're being an asshole."

Anakin sat only in his grief. Even the anger that would have usually come to protect him from himself and his feelings was gone. Staring straight ahead, he let tears fall onto his hands. Whatever noise Xanatos was making, whatever it meant that Padme was here with Obi-Wan's attacker, he couldn't hear any of it. Because every pulse of the Force told him that Obi was dead.

Once he had asked his lover what would happen if he, Anakin, died. Obi had said he would grieve, but not as he'd grieved for Qui-Gon. Bad as that had been, he would have suffered more at Anakin's death.

For years he'd dreamed of Obi-Wan's death. And had Obi-Wan dreamed of that death, too? His heart told him yes. Obi-Wan had known he was going to die first. All his talk about grieving for Anakin was empty because he'd known all along that he would die first. As for Anakin's feeling that he, instead of Obi-Wan, would die first… That must have been a stupid way to protect himself. Because, for years and years, he'd known that it was Obi-Wan who was meant to die first.

_Obi-Wan has already lost so much. Who are you to insist that he suffer more loss before his death?_

He couldn't remember who had said that to him, but it didn't matter right now. All that mattered was that his Obi was dead and-

Something like a many-edged rock got him right in the stomach and he gasped, clutching at the injured area. Still, his depression was so deep that he didn't even glance around to see what had hit him or why. It was probably Xanatos and what did he care if Xanatos hit him? He had nothing left, _was_ nothing without Obi-Wan.

He was hit again, this time in his upper thigh less than an inch from his crotch. He winced, shouted in shock, and pushed himself away form the attacker as far as he could, which turned out to be less than a foot. He glared to his left, planning to hit the attacker before he could strike again, and met Mace's fiery gaze.

"Come out of yourself long enough to use your brain instead of your emotions. Anger, fear, and especially loss are a way to the Dark Side. How dare you dishonor Master Kenobi's memory by jumping into the Sith's plans with both feet?" And he struck Anakin again with his fist, this time in the knight's knee.

Anakin grunted in pain but it wasn't the pain that held his attention. Mace's voice was raspy, weak, barely there. His face was more melted than burned. One eye resembled nothing so much as half-congealed jelly. The hand he'd been using to punch Anakin- his lightsaber hand- was intact, but his other was even more melted than his face. "How can you still be alive?"

"Because a certain knight tried to save me. Until he let himself be overwhelmed by a rumor only. Have you seen Obi-Wan's corpse? No. Have you see so much as a single hair from his beard? No. Until you know he is dead, you can't prove it." Mace groaned and closed his remaining eye. After a moment, he came back to himself. "If you think he's dead, you can operate under that assumption if you want, but you do not have permission to abandon your mission or the mission of the Jedi just because you're hurting. I know Master Kenobi taught you better than that. And if you haven't yet learned it, now is the time to realize that you have duties to others before you have duties to yourself." He coughed harshly and closed his eyes again. "There's so much I would tell you if I had the strength. Just know that the Dark Force wants both you and Obi-Wan out of the way. Don't oblige. In the name of all that you are meant to be, _don't oblige_." He coughed again; it rattled in his chest like a high wind breaking tree branches. He passed out.

_Obi-Wan has already lost so much. Who are you to insist that he suffer more loss before his death?_

This time Anakin heard and a new emotion came into his heart: relief. It was a small thing, barely more than a flicker of a distant star, but it was enough to burn off some of the weight that oppressed his heart. "All right, Obi," he whispered. "If you're dead, be at peace." His voice broke. "I know you died in the Light. And if you're still alive-" his heart couldn't entertain this possibility- "may the Force be with you."

With these words said if not believed, he found himself again. A little. He touched Mace's neck, found his pulse, and said, "He's still alive. But he needs a doctor."

"We can take him to the Temple," Padme said.

"No we can't." Xanatos pointed and Anakin followed his finger to a column of smoke that rose from the Temple. "I think they've got problems of their own."

"Why didn't we go straight there from the Senate?" Anakin demanded. "It's less than three minutes by air."

"Because you were busy having a hissy fit." Xanatos laughed again.

Anakin considered throttling him, but then closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. "Hissy fit?" he asked, trying for a light tone. "That's not a Sith word."

"Neither is love, but I call it as I see it now. I love Padme, and you were having a hissy fit."

Anakin scowled, but his right mind was returning. "Padme? Obi told me Xanatos was here to help. Is it true?"

"Yes." Her tone was gentle. "It's not for sure, Anakin. You know that, right? Qui-Gon said Obi-Wan's not hurt."

Anakin didn't hear her. He couldn't hear anything good about his dead lover. "We need to go to Temple and see if we can help."

"No," Xanatos said. "Padme could kick ass usually but she's very pregnant and the Force wants her babies to live. We have to take care of that first."

"Besides," Anakin muttered, "you don't want to risk losing her."

Xanatos said nothing.

"And you're a coward," Anakin went on.

Xanatos still said nothing.

"We'll go to my apartment," Padme said. "Then the two of you should go to the Temple." She took Xanatos's hand; Anakin glared at this gesture. "I'll be all right but the Jedi might need you. Think of all those younglings."

Xanatos nodded. "All right. We'll go as soon as we're sure you're safe."

Anakin considered arguing but he didn't have the strength. He put his head in his hands and wept.

oOo

Qui-Gon shepherded the last of the younglings into the small shuttle. There were only twenty left. None of the padawans had survived. He'd left Bant to face Annie alone so he could take these last few younglings to the last remaining ship. None of them knew how to fly so he programmed a datapad with coordinates as they ran. When all was set, he slipped out the chip in the pad and gave it to the eldest with instructions to put it into the slot in the ship that said 'data read' and the ship would take them where they needed to go. They would be going to Fregala, one of the few planets still completely above suspicion in the Separatist plots. There, Qui-Gon prayed, the younglings would be safe.

He got them all on the ship and got the door closed. Then he headed back into the Temple's flight deck entrance. Just before he disappeared inside, he heard the thrusters fire. "May the Force be with you all," he murmured. Then he was inside.

Annie was waiting.

She held a youngling with one hand. The youngling reminded Qui-Gon of Yoda except he was blue instead of green.

Qui-Gon didn't hesitate. He used the Force to yank the child out of her grasp and as the youngling flew through the air, he leapt at Annie, lightsaber ignited and all his focus on this one thought: he must stop her here, now, if at all possible. For this had he been saved all those long years ago on Naboo. For this and for nothing else. He felt it. And, knowing his true and fullest purpose, and finally being in the right place at the right time as he hadn't been for so many of the times when Obi-Wan had needed him, he gave his all to this moment. If he died here without ever seeing his Obi-Wan again, so be it. It was meant to be.

Behind him, the youngling hit the floor and lay very still. He felt this rather than saw it. Had she already killed the child and Qui-Gon hadn't felt it in the Darkness that surrounded her? He didn't know but now wasn't the time to wonder. He met her blade to blade and shoved her back.

Or tried to. She was strong in the Dark Side and she had a greater reach with the blade than he'd anticipated. For the second time in his life, he lost one of his hands. It was the right, as before, though this time it hurt less, being a prosthetic. All he felt- all, as if it didn't burn- was the heating of the metal and alloys. And this time he didn't drop his blade and fall but used the Force to switch his 'saber to switch his 'saber to his left hand. It wasn't as good as his right, but it worked well enough. He kept himself between this woman who had never been his daughter and the youngling. He didn't bother to speak but only watched her for the next attack.

She laughed at him. Her eyes were Obi-Wan's to the life and that hurt his heart, but when she laughed all her resemblance to the man he'd once loved disappeared and he found he could see her as a product of the Darkness instead of as the babe he'd helped bring into the world.

"You can't save them," she said. "Any of them. They're all going to die, whether it's today or in the next few weeks. Soon there will be no more Jedi." She paused, twirled her blade in a way that reminded Qui-Gon of one of his fancier moves, and added, casually, "Obi-Wan is already dead. The clones shot him apart."

_However he dies, whenever he dies, he will do so in the Light. And so he will finish up better than you._ He took a step closer, menacing her with his blade. But he waited for her to make the first move. His survival now would depend just as much on her carelessness as on his skill.

She asked, "Are you ready to die?"

He only waited.

She asked, "Are you ready to become part of the Force you worship so much? Don't you understand that it's nothing but a tool, that it can't lead you or comfort you or give you rest?" Then she laughed again. "No, not one of the Jedi understands that." Her face darkened for a moment and Qui-Gon realized he was seeing her grief. "Reeft couldn't understand. When I find Xanatos, I'll make him help me. Then I can teach Reeft."

What was she talking about? Reeft was dead. But he didn't let the question distract him for more than half a second. He stood ready.

She leapt at last, and when she came, he was able to anticipate her movements. At least at first. Because they were his and Obi-Wan's. It was a perversion of the Force that she could know their styles so well when she'd never studied them. Or maybe she had done what other Sith had done centuries before: she had watched holos of those she wanted to emulate before leaving the Jedi Order. But she would never want to emulate him or Obi-Wan; she hated them too much for reasons he would never understand. So it must be the Dark Force which had taught her.

Then her style changed to one closer to Form I and though he could place the form, almost, he could no longer completely anticipate her moves. He had to block each move as it came instead of knowing where to put his 'saber before she moved. That, too, was all right. For awhile. But then her speed increased and she took off whatever yoke had been restraining her. She fought like one of the greats, though nowhere as well as Yoda. But Qui-Gon, even after so many years of study, wasn't as good as Yoda, either. They were evenly matched.

Then she dropped to one knee and drove upwards. He couldn't have anticipated this and though he tried to leap back when he realized what was coming, she was too fast. Her lightsaber cut up through his guts, charring everything it touched. She sliced his breastbone and kept going.

Qui-Gon fell back before she could slice all the way up to his head. He tripped over something and fell. In his last moments, he felt no pain but only the knowledge that he would be gone soon. He prayed the youngling was truly dead and thus safe from her torture.

_Obi-Wan,_ he thought. _May the Force be with you._ _May the Force-_

His body died.

oOo

Under him, Woda still lived. As Qui-Gon passed into the Force, Woda did all he could not to sob. He tried even not to breathe. Now she would kill him and there would be no one left to comfort his papa.

The Darkness grew around him for a moment, then she laughed, brokenly, almost like a child trying not to sob. Then she strode away. He heard her heels clack on the floor. He heard the doors to the platform open. Then he heard her give a single order. "Captain, destroy any non-troop ship that tries to leave orbit."

Then the doors closed and he was alone with all the dead.

oOo

They were too late. Xane knew well the taste and feel and stench of death. They were far too late. As he landed on the Temple's roof, high above where the clone troops were striding back and forth, he knew that there was very likely no one left alive in the building below.

Anakin crouched beside him and his gaze was sharp again. That didn't mean he was completely there, but it was better than nothing, far better than the man who had fallen onto the speeder because Xane had called him there.

Below them, someone spoke. It was impossible for Xane to hear from so far away, but the Force was with him. As he heard the words, no matter their message, he thrilled to have this new ability. No wonder the Jedi liked the whole Force so much! It was close to a miracle what was open to him just after a few days. What would he be able to do, with the help of the Force, in a week? A month?

"What's going on here?"

"That's Senator Organa," Anakin said. "He's got some balls coming here with all those clones hanging around."

"He's probably above suspicion," Xane answered.

A clone said, "There's been a rebellion, sir. Don't worry; the situation is under control." He pointed his weapon all but directly at the senator. His tone did not change. "I'm sorry, sir. It's time for you to leave."

"And so it is." The senator turned away.

"Come on," Anakin said. He'd opened a small trap door in the roof. "Let's go."

"It was this easy to break into the Temple?" Xane shook his head as he followed Anakin inside.

"Only if you know the codes." Anakin started down a narrow crawlspace. It was dimly lit but he moved with confidence. Some of that might have been contributed to his connection to the Force, but Xane thought he might have also spent time in this and most of the other crawlspaces of the Temple. "They're shooting outside."

"I hear something," Xane said. "A hum. But it's far away."

"A lightsaber. It's probably outside the Temple. Another Jedi just died." Anakin sobbed; it was a dry sound. "The sooner we get to where we can help, the better."

Less than two minutes later, they dropped down into a deserted hallway. Well, almost deserted. There weren't any people, but the air smelled of charred bodies. Xane grimaced.

Anakin wiped his eyes on one sleeve. "Come on. We have to-"

"You have done well, my new apprentice. Now, Darth Vader, go and bring-" a sputter of static, that obscured perhaps only a word- "to the Empire." These words echoed from the far end of the corridor. Together Xane and Anakin dodged into a small room and settled themselves in shadows.

_Vengence? Peace? _Xane didn't know but he knew the voice which had spoken. Sidious.

"Go to the Mustafar system and complete your business there. Then we will be free to seek your need. Have you found the Jedi's body?"

"Yes, Master," Annie Jinn-Kenobi said. "They did not burn him."

"Good. Return to me when your task is complete and we will clone him together."

_She's gotten someone else's help._ _She doesn't need me anymore. _In his relief, Xane almost laughed.

There was the sound of a channel closed, then the sound of rapid footsteps. Then nothing.

"Mustafar," Anakin whispered. "We have to go there. Maybe that's where she's keeping Obi."

_He finally believes! _Xane grinned.If Anakin believed Obi-Wan was alive, then he'd be more stable. And if he was stable, he could maybe be trusted to do what was right for the Republic instead of for himself. _Unlike me. I can only be trusted to do what's best for Padme._ He banished that thought.

"Or Obi's body." Anakin stood. "I'll go to Mustafar. You go take care of Padme."

Xane grabbed him. "You're not going alone. She'll kill you."

"No. She can't defeat me. I'm stronger than she is. I'm made from the whole Force."

"Yeah, right." Xane shook him. "And even if you are, you're jumping at shadows. Don't go without back-up."

"What back-up? All the Jedi are dead."

"Not Obi-Wan."

Anakin shoved him away with the Force. "He's dead." He started away, but then turned back. "And if he isn't dead, by some miracle, don't tell me where I went. Annie would kill him." His eyes burned. "You need to protect Padme and the babies. So at least believe this: if Obi goes after me, Padme will want to go, too. Don't tell her. Don't tell him." He turned and ran.

Xane picked himself up from where he'd fallen against a wall. He stood completely still for a moment, then made for the roof.

oOo

There weren't many troops guarding the Temple. Yoda had been right: with the Senate in an emergency session, there weren't many clones left to guard the skeleton of the Temple. Obi-Wan shifted Yoda in his arms and felt the solidity of the old master's lightsaber against his ribs. He had wrapped Yoda in a blanket and kept his hood up to shadow his face. They would have never gotten this close if he hadn't looked like an old panhandler wandering about with something- a baby or just some old rags- in his arms.

A clone trooper finally stopped them when they were less than two hundred yards from the Temple's main entrance. He seemed unaffected by the smoke that poured from the Temple, chocking the air. "Who goes there?"

"I have a youngling here," Obi-Wan answered in a cracked and failing voice. "He escaped the Temple. If you'll give me a few credits, I'll give him to you."

The clone laughed even as he stepped near for a better look. "How can you be so sure he was from the Temple?"

Yoda smiled out of the blanket. "A clue my lightsaber would be." And he killed the trooper even as he leapt from Obi-Wan's arms.

Two minutes later, they were inside. The walls were charred with what could have been blaster fire. Obi-Wan stared at one of these scars for several moments, then strode forward and traced it. There were no bodies right by the door, but he could smell the stench of death and tried to use the scar on the wall to root himself in the world of truth. He half-expected Yoda to say they had no time for this, but when he glanced at the older master, he saw only that Yoda was watching him with grieving eyes. This, more than touching the mark on the wall that might not have been blaster-made after all, helped him start for the horrors that he could already smell. He went with slow steps but he moved, and when Yoda fell in beside him, he resisted the need to stoop so he could touch Yoda's shoulder under his hand.

Together they came to the scene of battle. There were a few downed troops, but mostly there were bodies. Padawans, mainly, but among them were initiates. Obi-Wan found Master Cro and Bant, whom seemed to have fallen while defending a group of six padawans who had been carrying babies and year-olds on their backs.

He didn't mean to speak, but the words seemed ripped from his throat. "Not even the younglings survived." He was close to tears. He didn't bother to push them back. Let them come if they would. Let them be a testament to this senseless butchering. Why had the clones turned? Did it matter?

"Killed not by clones… this… padawan."

Obi-Wan crouched by Yoda and let the tears fall. It was Yoda's broken words which had done it. Hearing the venerable master speak that way made everything true.

"By a lightsaber he was," Yoda said.

For a moment, Obi-Wan couldn't find his voice. When he could, only a single word came out. "Who?" _What Jedi would do this? What Jedi…? Was it done in desperation because the troops were coming too fast? _But that couldn't be. That meant some Jedi had gone insane. "Who could have done this?"

Yoda grunted as he straightened. "Come. Search for survivors we must."

But before they had taken two steps, they found the only survivor. Or rather, he found them. A blue ball of energy came flying down the hall. "_Papa! Papa!_"

Yoda dropped his gimmer stick and Force-leapt across the distance. He met Woda in midair and the two of them fell to the floor without so much as a cry of pain. Yoda bundled Woda into his arms and as the youngling sobbed, the master wept also, slow tears that followed the wrinkles in his face.

Obi-Wan left them alone. Let them comfort each other for a few moments. He went to the end of the hall and took the lift up to the flight deck. Here was where the padawans and younglings should have left from. How many younglings and padawans had escaped? One hundred? Fifty? None?

The lift doors opened and he smell more death. _Force be with me._ He stood for a moment, assessing the damage to walls, ceiling and floor, then let the lift doors close behind him. He followed the corridor past rooms that were strewn with more dead. He saw Crista among a group of younglings and murmured, "Force be with all these." He saw others and spoke the words over them, as well.

He found Qui-Gon.

There was no one else in the room with him, as if his death was meant to be like most of his life: alone. True, he had spent years with Obi-Wan, wonderful years for the most part, despite the pain, and he'd raised two padawans the best way he knew how, but most his life had been solitary. There were only a few burns on his cloak and lay, almost naturally, in the center of the room.

Obi-Wan knelt beside his former lover and turned him from his side to his back. Qui-Gon's eyes were closed; Obi-Wan breathed a silent sigh of relief. And the older man seemed at peace. The wound that killed him had stopped smoking and Obi-Wan touched its edge lightly, not to feel what had been ruined but to maybe touch any of the life that was left.

He didn't close his eyes. He didn't stop the tears when they began to flow.

He kissed Qui-Gon's slack mouth. He whispered, "As a brother, as my master, as a friend, and once as a lover, I love you. May the Force be with you." He sobbed once, then stood, wiping his eyes with the heels of his hands. "May the Force be with us all."

"Obi-Wan."

He turned to Yoda, already bowing, as much from exhaustion as out of reverence. "Master." He saw Yoda carried Woda and that the youngling was asleep.

"Time to change the signal it is."

When Yoda began limping from the room, Obi-Wan followed. He glanced back, once, and whispered, "I love you."


	60. No Time for Grief

**Author's Note:** Wow, this turned out to be a chapter and a half- 30 pages instead of the usual 20. And we're still not quite at the end of _Revenge of the Sith_ in the time line. But after a little more struggle, there's going to be a jump in time and we'll finally come to the true five-year-long decline and fall of the Jedi. By the way, please don't hold me to the title of the next chapter. It *should* be "Fading Away", but things change.

Five Years (Five Deaths)Pg. 1268

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- I)Pg. 1291

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- II)Pg. 1313

Five Years (No Time for Grief)Pg. 1325

Five Years (Fading Away)Pg. 1355

Five Years (No Time for Grief)

"I have recalibrated the code warning all Jedi to stay away." His voice echoed in the dead shell that had once been the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan tried not to listen to it or acknowledge how much it frightened him.

Yoda seemed to have aged a century or more. "For the clones to discover the recalibration a long time it will take." He started from the basement room where they had reset the code to try and save lives. It seemed impossible that any Jedi could be left with the husk of the Temple around them.

Obi-Wan followed in his wake, but then stopped. His eyes were drawn to the tiny holograph that would play the security records. He could know what Jedi had killed the younglings. More: he could assure himself that it wasn't Annie. She might be tempted to the Dark Side, but she would never…

_Foolishness, Obi mine,_ he heard in Qui-Gon's forever-gone voice. _She's been more than tempted. Don't fool yourself._

_Easy for you to say. You never really thought of her as yours. She was always mine, even when I distanced myself and tried to tell myself that she had never, would never, be mine._

He closed his mind to whatever wise or foolish words his own mind wanted to send his way. "Wait, Master. There is something I must know." He strode to the holograph and activated it. His stomach was a knot and his blood roared in his ears.

"If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find."

"I must know the truth, Master… It can't be. It can't be."

"You have done well, my new apprentice. Now, Darth Vader, go and bring peace to the Empire."

"I can't watch any more."

"Destroy the Sith we must."

"Send me to kill the Emperor. I will not kill Annie."

"To fight this Lord Sidious strong enough you are not."

"She's almost my daughter. I cannot do it."

"Twisted by the Dark Side Annie has become. The girl you bore, gone she is. Consumed by Darth Vader."

"I don't know where the Emperor has sent her." His voice was strident and broken in the hallways of the dead. "I don't know where to look."

Yoda turned back to him and his eyes were full of pain. He had somehow gentled Woda to sleep and he held his youngling against him with possessive strength. There was compassion in his eyes, too, and he let a little of this splash on Obi-Wan. It came in his voice, under the terrible words he spoke: "Use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find her you will."

oOo

Anakin had gone ahead. Without checking in with Obi-Wan- not that it would have been possible until about three hours ago- he'd run from Coruscant, chasing Annie.

Now, standing in Padme's apartment with the senator sitting on her couch with Xanatos standing behind her, Obi-Wan released his grief into the Force again. And again. The deaths of so many younglings and padawans was like a scream; the death of so many Jedi, longer in the Force and so leaving a different footprint, made him all but faint with pain. And there was Qui-Gon's death.

Padme had offered him a seat but he couldn't settle. That was, he knew, another sign of his agitation, and under most circumstances he would have tried to conceal what he felt. But the time had passed when he must hide things from Padme and he didn't have the energy or desire to gainsay the Force as to whether he should trust Xanatos. (She had called him Xane. In the course of normal events, Obi-Wan would have wondered what the new name signified. Today he only wished to have Anakin at his side.)

"Can you tell me where he went?" he asked again, this time directing his question to Padme. He'd gotten nothing for his first attempt with Xane.

She shook her head. "She'll kill you. I promised Anakin I would let him handle her." She glanced up at Xane when he stirred. "He contacted me before you came in." Then, to Obi-Wan: "She's a killer, and she's probably the one who sent the Dark Force to separate you and Anakin that one day."

"Yes, most likely," he answered, sending his frustration after his grief. At least his frustration went more easily. "And she has done it again, Padme." He went to her and knelt before her, taking her hands. Above him, behind her, Xane tensed, his hand dropping to his belt. But he didn't draw his 'saber and Obi-Wan ignored him. "The galaxy grows Dark. The Sith rise and gain strength hourly. If Annie manages to kill Anakin, no matter that he's stronger than she and older, it will be many years before those you carry can even try to restore balance, and that may not happen in their lifetime without the help of their father. Anakin is the Chosen One; if he dies, Darkness may last as long as the Republic. But if you help me get to him, there may be a chance to stop this before it goes any further."

She didn't know about the deaths of the younglings or the padawans, but she knew about the deaths of the knights and masters: it was all over the HoloNet that the Jedi had turned against the Republic. He drew on that knowledge. "Please, Padme. There has been so much death. If we can prevent more- not just Anakin's, but perhaps the deaths of billions- shouldn't we?"

"He said Annie would only kill you and that might draw him to the Dark Side."

"Except he half-believes you're already dead," Xane muttered.

Sweat broke out in giant beads on Obi-Wan's forehead. He didn't scratch it. Let her see it, but also see that he chose to ignore his fear. But, Force! Had Anakin really said he would be drawn to the Dark Side through Obi-Wan's death? He had come so far in the Force; he couldn't turn away from all he'd learned, could he? The lover's heart that beat in his chest made him want to discount the idea and also made him feel guilty for doubting Anakin even a little. But his mind kept returning to the charred and bleeding bodies of the younglings scattered all over Temple. For the sake of billions of children just like them, he needed to stop Annie before she could kill Anakin and start her reign of terror.

"I could help you."

Obi-Wan looked up and met Xane's eyes in the dimness. "Yes. You could."

Padme turned, pulling her hands from Obi-Wan's, and her face was a picture of fear. "Xane, she could…"

"She could kill all of us," he told her. "And what's your true fear, because this isn't like you?" He grinned. "Come on, Senator: fess up." And he drew her hands to his lips and kissed them.

Obi-Wan rose silently to his feet and stepped back, giving them space. Giving Xane a chance to work his magic if he could.

She sighed. "I hate all we're being asked to give up, but I hate what all this pain is trying to make me become. It's like I have to fight a battle, every time I open my mouth, just to be myself and act as I always have before. That's probably the Dark Force, too, isn't it?"

Xane glanced at Obi-Wan, who nodded. "Yes," the former Sith told Padme, "it's the Darkness. But you're fighting it. As we all are, though I doubt I've been attacked half so much as either of you. The Dark Side doesn't see me as a threat."

"Then it's a fool." She pushed herself up a few inches and they kissed. Then she turned back to Obi-Wan. "He's on Mustafar. And I'm coming with you both."

Xane opened his mouth.

Without looking at him, Padme raised her hand. "I've had enough of staying behind. And maybe I can help. I'll stay out of the way if you can handle Annie, but if I can help either of you or Anakin, I will." She drew twin blasters from where they had been concealed in her skirts. "It's time for aggressive negations."

Obi-Wan would have smiled. She wanted him to. But he couldn't bring himself to it genuinely and lying to her was out of the question. "Thank you." He met Xane's eyes again and said it once more: "Thank you."

oOo

Yoda left Woda sleeping at the foot of the bed. He didn't dare leave his son even in the main room of Padme's apartment. Now, as Woda slept in the comfort of the Force-blanket Yoda had made around his body and mind, the old master sat at Mace's side and held his lover's hand. He didn't weep. He didn't want the attendant distractions that would come with the tears. He wanted only to do the right thing by the Force and by his family. Which meant he should be seeking Sidious but he had taken a moment to see for himself if Mace was alive. For there was no Force-signature from him anymore. He was still there in the Force, but only as a non-Force-sensitive. He was, in the strictest sense, not a Jedi anymore.

And yet, he still lived. And that wasn't just something, that was almost everything. And so as Yoda held Mace's hand, he thanked the Force that his lover was alive no matter what had been lost. Mace was alive and would be here for their youngling if Yoda died in the battle with Sidious.

Their youngling… The only one to survive…

Yoda squeezed Mace's hand one last time and jumped off the bed. He scooped up his gimmer stick and took out his communicator. "Senator Organa?"

"Yes?"

They were back to only using names when absolutely necessary. "In Senator Amidala's quarters a fallen comrade you will find. Alive he is and alive the child is."

"I'll be there soon."

"Be here I will not." Yoda closed the communication. He looked first at Mace's still form, then Woda, asleep at the foot of the bed. "No time for grief there is." And he went out to put an end to the Sith.

oOo

Heat baked off everything. He would have been bothered by it more if he hadn't been raised on Tatooine and if he hadn't been so filled with his own heat. He'd been there. Not in time to do anything of course or maybe some of the rage he felt would have been tempered, but he'd been there to know the stench of death.

Anakin left his ship and followed the path the Force told him Annie had taken. How there could be any paths or metal or anything alive on this volcanic planet was beyond him, but all three existed.

The Force must want him to kill her. That's why it was helping him despite the rage that blocked almost everything else. He knew he could reach out through all the Darkness and maybe, just maybe reach his Obi, but he didn't want to do that until she was dead, and not just because killing her would in some small way avenge all those who had died. If he reached out, managed to cut a path through the Darkness as paths had been cut here on Mustafar, only to find his Obi was dead, he wanted to at least have the cold comfort of knowing that Annie wouldn't hurt anyone else.

Cold fucking comfort, yeah. If his Obi was dead and Annie was dead, Anakin knew what he would do: he'd leap into one of the lava lakes and be dead (not painlessly, no, but quickly) before he could even start to sink. He'd burst into flame, turn to ash, and then even the ash would melt in the magma. What a great end for the Chosen One. Well, it wasn't perfect, but if Annie was dead, he would have carried out his part in destroying the Darkness. Let his children, who were supposed to somehow help, destroy Annie's master.

He crossed a high bridge that led to a large building. Again he wondered how anything could be driven into the volcanic earth and still stand. But as he crossed into the building's slight shadow, he heard the scream of silence that had been at Temple and was now here despite the exploding rocks and the bubbling magma. People had died here, too. And in that silence he heard something else. It was so loud that he wondered how he could have possibly missed it. The Force was shouting at him. He didn't hear specific words but the message was clear: he was meant to go on after Mustafar, Obi or no Obi. _Why?_ he demanded but if the Force answered he was too far gone to hear any reply.

He entered the building and saw the first body. Then another. A third, a fourth. And, at last, a head. Just a head But he knew this head and then he knew the others. This was all that was left of the Separatists. Of course. Sidious wouldn't want to have to deal with anyone but himself and his apprentice, and not even her if she disappointed or threatened him too much.

The head had once belonged to Nute Gunray. Well, he'd never be able to threaten Padme again. There was that to be grateful for.

Still, as Anakin left the front room and headed into the one beyond, he didn't kick any of the body parts aside. These had been deluded people but people still. He felt a twinge of sorrow at their passing, though it was nothing like what he still felt for the dead Jedi or what he would feel for the rest of his life. He was sure he'd see- and smell; oh, Force, the _smell_- all those dead bodies at Temple in his nightmares for the rest of his life.

He didn't give too much thought to what he'd heard from the Force. If he was meant to live, he'd better get something in return. Obi's life would be a good exchange. Unlikely, though. The more he thought about it, the more impossible it seemed. The clones had turned on the Jedi all over the galaxy and Obi had been with two hundred of them on Utapau. His Obi was resourceful but that he'd survived was too much to ask for.

He stopped in the doorway of the second room and shook his head almost hard enough to make his teeth clack together. He'd been living in his head since he left Xane at Temple. If he wanted to live long enough to kill Annie, he'd have to stay focused on the world beyond himself. She was here; he could feel her poison. He needed to find and kill her. Then he could grieve. Then he could try to find Obi, suffer the loss when he didn't find him, and then decide if he was going to commit suicide.

The second room was devoid of bodies. Annie wasn't there, either. Good thing or he might already be dead. Still, Anakin drew his lightsaber before he turned to leave the building.

The moment he was back outside, he sensed someone watching him. He turned towards this sense and saw her standing far above him on a platform that overhung one of the lava lakes. She didn't move, and her face was in the shadow of a dark hood, but he knew by looking at her that she had grown tall (or at least taller; he still had her by a head, maybe as much as a head and a half). She was growing in the Force as he had, but her growth was made by the Dark Force. He wondered how much that changed things. He couldn't imagine anything caused by the Dark Force could be pleasant. Well, maybe revenge was pleasant- for a moment- but then it was followed by endless years of pain. He didn't dream often about what he'd done to the Tusken Raiders, but when he did, it was always horrible.

She brushed back the hood with one hand. The other hand was at her belt, holding the hilt of a lightsaber. "Are you here to avenge the younglings?" she asked. "Or to avenge your lover's death?"

"Obi isn't dead," he said, and then he cursed his quick tongue. She didn't need to know how vulnerable he was. Except she did seem to know. Why else would she mention Obi-Wan? _It's just that everyone knows. You've made it public enough. Stop worrying about what she thinks she knows, stop giving her ammunition, and get her to stop wasting time. This is going to come to a battle; get it to that point as soon as possible. The sooner it's started the sooner it will be over._

That last wasn't Jedi-like at all but Anakin didn't see how he could possibly talk to Annie and yet manage to stay in control of his emotions. He hadn't felt this out of control in years. And he knew if he dared close his eyes for an instant, he'd see all the slaughtered younglings and padawans and though he hadn't seen Woda, his little brother must also be dead.

Gazing up at Annie, hating her, wanting her dead so badly that he couldn't remember the Tusken Raiders, he had a vague, out-of-place memory: Obi telling him about a dream. On a fiery world, Obi-Wan had said, Anakin and Annie were fighting. He hadn't been sure it was Annie, but Anakin, deep in his heart, had always been sure. Obi-Wan hadn't said how the fight had ended, only that Anakin had stepped out of the vision to confess his love.

_Well, now I'm here, and the future's changed. I love Obi-Wan and he knows it. _So even if Obi-Wan had seen what happened in the coming battle, it wouldn't matter because everything could be different now.

Annie dropped her hand from her belt. "I should have said this first, but then, curiosity has always been my passion. Welcome to Mustafar. Are you here to join the dead? I can see you don't want to avenge those I killed. At least, not yet. Right now you're still trying to play the dutiful Jedi."

He didn't answer. Thoughts of Obi-Wan- alive and well, even though it had been years ago when Anakin heard his dream- had calmed him. Instead, he dropped his cloak from his shoulders and stood ready. He wouldn't jump up to meet her. She had slightly higher ground. Only a desperate fool would try something like that. His choices were two: stand here and wait, or go after her when she ran.

She smiled at him and her eyes shone with a light that could have been holy. "You're not going to come up here so we can talk more easily?" She waved around her in a circle. "There aren't any traps up here and I won't hurt you until you've found your feet. I know many things the Jedi didn't teach, but the best one I know is how to play fair."

Anakin didn't bother answering. If she thought she could call him into a trap with such a little barb, she didn't know him.

_Calm yourself, Padawan mine. Think. _

How long had it been since Obi-Wan called him that?

_Why is she trying to tempt you with so little? She's smarter than that and she knows you are, too. So why is she trying something so simple?_

Hearing his lover's voice, Anakin realized he was already thinking of Obi-Wan in the past tense.

_Focus! _

He could all but see the fleeting frustration that would only light Obi-Wan's eyes when he was so past frustration that he had lost control for an instant. That had happened less than a dozen times since they first met.

_She wants to kill you. Don't be fooled by her childish tricks. She wants you to think of her _as a child. _Wake up! _

"Come down," he called. "Or run away, if you're afraid," he added, remembering that to be in the Dark Force was to be, ultimately, insecure.

She scowled, shrugged out of her black robe (it fell slowly in the rising heat; it must be made of some super-light material) and leapt down to him. Anakin took a step back before standing firm. His lightsaber was ready in his hand.

He looked her over quickly, judging the reach of her arm. He couldn't judge her non-Force strength: the baggy tunic and trousers she wore were seemingly made of the same material as the cape. They concealed her body completely; he could barely discern the size of her breasts. He wondered if the cloth she wore was as light as it looked, and, if it was, whether it could shield her at all from a blow.

She drew her lightsaber and ignited it. A red blade shout out to meet his blue. "You'll regret that you called me down here, Skywalker."

Anakin laughed. "That's supposed to scare me?"

She twirled her weapon. "You're not afraid of anything. Except my papa's death." She raised one delicate eyebrow. "The least you can do is call me Kenobi after I used your last name."

_More childish games,_ Obi-Wan whispered in his mind, but it still wasn't the real Obi-Wan. He might not hear his lover's real voice again.

Anakin blinked once and his tears, which had threatened to blur his vision, retreated. "You're no more a Kenobi than Darth Sidious is a pink and fluffy kitten."

She chuckled. "You would be surprised. My master can appear as whatever he chooses." She flipped backwards, a fluid movement of heels over head, and then she stood, legs spread and green-blue eyes shining with humor. "Don't I look like him, your Obi-Wan? Don't I?"

It was on the tip of his tongue to admit it, then, as he played that graceful movement back again, a little of his anger went. "Obi would never do something so showy." He stepped towards her, lifting his lightsaber a little higher. "Let's end this."

"If you wish." And she raised her hand.

The Dark Force wound itself around him like a python. It lifted him, half-crushing his chest, and then he was flying through the air with all the grace of a rock.

He reached out to the Force to catch himself, but there was nothing available. _What the fuck is this? _He reached out again as his feet went over his head with none of the elegance Annie had demonstrated, and this time he was able to catch a little, enough, he hoped, to control his fall.

Somewhere under him, much too close for his liking, was the bubbling sound of liquid rock. All the world around him was melting orange and hell-red.

"_Stop!"_

It was a voice he heard with his ears and a call inside his head, like right before Zee helped Adee rape him. It was Obi-Wan.

The Force wrapped itself around him and he was set right-way-up on his feet. He was standing not too far from the edge of a plunging, doubtless shifting slope. His first thought was for his lover. Failing to see Obi-Wan, his next was for Annie.

She stood just where she had been before, but her hands were clapped to her ears. Even as he watched her (and took several steps away from the edge of the slope) she stumbled forward and screamed, "Get out of my head!"

"_Never."_

Anakin drew his lightsaber and charged.

oOo

Obi-Wan stood only half a step from the ship Xane had piloted to Mustafa. He sensed the former Sith behind him, standing with Padme. And of course he sensed both Anakin and Annie.

He closed his eyes and reached out to his lover but Anakin was all but cut off from the Force. Not in his muscles but in his thoughts. He was much as Obi-Wan had been during the months he allowed ber'Nac to rape him. Knowing this, Obi-Wan grieved a little. In the midst of all the pain he already felt, it was but a spit in an ocean.

"All is yet well," he said for Padme and Xane. "They both still live." He turned to Xane and opened his eyes. "Will you come with me or will you stay?"

Xane glanced at Padme and when she gestured for him to go with Obi-Wan, he came down the ramp. "Be careful," he told her. He glanced at C3PO who had come with them. "Protect her if it comes to that. Protect her with the last of your life."

"Oh, my," C3PO said, but Xane didn't spare him another glance. "Where are they?"

Obi-Wan pointed. "Just over that rise, I'd say, or not much farther. Let's go." But he, too, glanced back at Padme. "No matter what happens, you must live." Meaning, of course, that the children must live, but especially here he would risk nothing.

She nodded. "I'll remember. May the Force be with you both."

"And with you," they said together, and then Obi-Wan was leading Xane away from the ship at a jog.

As they made for the base of the shallow rise, Xane said, "This isn't the right time for talk, but I wanted you to know: I'm sorry for what I did to you."

"Forgiven. Long ago." He shot Xane half a glance. "You're in the Light now. Whether you can feel it or not, you're in the Light and that means that you are stronger than perhaps you think. Trust your connection to the Force. It doesn't matter how new it is. I was able to reach out to Qui-Gon for the first time through our bond right after you raped me that first time. And that was completely in the Light. The Force will help you."

"Do you know that Qui-Gon is dead?"

Obi-Wan didn't hesitate. "Yes."

"I'm sorry he's gone. He loved you."

They were at the base of the rise now and Obi-Wan started up. "Enough. There's no time for grief right now. When the galaxy is safe, I will cry, and cry hard. For now, she must-"

_Die_ was how he meant to finish that statement, but at that moment he felt Annie so close, and Anakin just as close, and also very near the end of his wits. He stopped short and felt Xane run into him. He swayed but stayed on his feet. He could see Anakin in his mind's eye, headed for death, and he shouted, both in the Force and aloud, "_Stop!_" He put all the Force-suggestion into this order that was in him, though he wasn't sure if he was commanding the Force- he couldn't be if he was remaining a Jedi- or Annie. He saw Anakin stop in midair and settled his lover on relatively safe ground. Then he started climbing the slope again.

And stopped again. As he had seen Anakin falling, he saw, bright as a golden thread on a black background, a crack in Annie's shields. He knew for sure they were hers and so set himself against the crack. He didn't go into her mind- he would never rape another- but called to this once-child who could have been his daughter if he wasn't a Jedi, _Come back to the Light. Come back to balance. Come to peace. It still waits for you._

She pushed against him but couldn't dislodge him. He was stronger than she was, mind-to-mind. At least he was stronger for now. That might only be because she was so surprised to have him suddenly so close to her.

_Annie, my daughter, Qui-Gon's daughter, daughter of love, come back to the Light._

"Get out of my head!" she screamed, not in the Force but only aloud. In the Force she only pushed and pushed, struggling to be free of him.

"Never," he sent and said. He was climbing the slope again and he realized he'd shouted that word. He tried to gentle his mental tone. _Annie, daughter of-_

_Daughter of nothing! _she howled in his head. _I'm not yours, not really. And even if I was, you never loved me._

_That's not true and you know it, young one. _He stood at the top of the slope now and saw her below. He also saw Anakin running towards her. "Anakin, don't!" _I can still save her! _he tried to send, but this thought stayed only in his head. And as this thought echoed in his own mind, as he leapt down the slope, the Force took him, soul, if not body and mind, back to a day he had no power to remember without the Force.

His mother- he knew her by the green-blue eyes that gazed down into his baby-face- was frowning. Above and around her, the first winds of Verdant, what was called Spring in many others places, danced and teased and made off with little seeds. His mother looked both tired and disappointed. "He's not much of anything, Obi-Shan," she said to her husband. "He's little and his hair is blond."

"It will redden as he ages. That's a guarantee. The genetics-work we did will ensure that." The man bent close to his wife and his son. Red hair fell over one ear. "And, failing that, I'm sure he'd be just as delicious as a blond." But his eyes said different: he wanted a boy that looked like both of them to play with. He didn't want a babe that looked different. It wouldn't be the same. All their other children, those they hadn't changed with genetics-work, had been given away because they were missing either her green-blue eyes or his red hair. This one, Obi-Wan Kenobi the fourth (all the others had been given new names before they were put up for adoption), would either be what they wanted or he would be given away, too.

This memory came and went in less than a second and another took its place.

Obi-Shan was back and this time he was naked. He touched his three-year-old son between his legs and smiled. "You're going to be a beautiful slut, Obi-Wan. You're chubby now, especially for such a tiny thing, but you're going to be beautiful some day soon."

The little boy raised his hand and moved it just a little. "No touch," he said. "Rest."

The man who should have loved him as a child and not in such a terrible way stepped back. "I'm not going to touch you anymore. I need to rest."

Another memory: Months later, as Obi-Wan neared his fourth birthday, his parents both brought him into a room where everything was shadowed and everything was horrible smells and everything was _Dark_ in a way that he wouldn't understand until he joined the Jedi.

The three of them sat on a low couch with Obi-Wan between his parents. His hands were bound before him; his wrists were raw with rope-burn. He didn't cry and he didn't look to his parents for comfort, but he huddled against the back of the couch, trying to get as far away from the man on the other side of the shadowed desk as possible.

"Why are you here?" asked the man. His face was hidden in the shadows and even if it hadn't been, he wore a mask. It was naught but a black cloth but it served well enough. He kept his hands, too, hidden from view and his voice was without accent.

"This little slut has power over us." Ka-shee Kenobi dragged her son from the couch and threw him before the desk. "We were told you could tell us why and maybe do something about it." She spat on Obi-Wan. "He can make us do what we don't want and yet make it seem like our idea."

The man at the desk sat forward and raised one gloved hand from his lap. "Come here, child."

Obi-Wan felt the pull on his mind that he often used to protect himself from his parents. He sat up but didn't go the man. "No."

"Ah. He's not just Force-sensitive, he's stubborn." The man behind the desk sounded pleased. "What is his name?"

"Obi-Wan."

"Come to me, Obi-Wan. Right now."

Obi-Wan felt his legs tremble and he wanted to stand, but he turned his head away and stared down at his bound hands. "No. Never."

The man got up, moved around the desk, and crouched at Obi-Wan's side. Obi-Wan tried to back away, but the man was strong. "Look at me, Boy."

Obi-Wan struggled but this time gave in.

"You're strong and you're all but Light made solid." He shook his head. "You can't be allowed to remain this way." And he gripped Obi-Wan's face with both hands. Their eyes met and locked and Obi-Wan couldn't blink, let alone try to avoid the man's gaze. A low-level current rushed through him then, not painful at first but as it continued it was like being lit on fire and he screamed.

When the pain at last faded and before he lost consciousness, he heard the man say, "He'll no longer be able to control your minds. I've taken much of his sensitively to the Force from him. I can't take it all but I've taken most. He'll never again be a threat."

And, in the midst of his unconscious state, he heard anyway: "What was his name?" His mother's voice. And then his father's: "The guy who gave me his address says he goes by Palpatine in some higher circles."

This memory, like the others, came and went in an instant and now Obi-Wan was halfway down the slope with Xane beside him. One more memory played itself out and this was even shorter, no more than an impression: he was being deposited on the steps of the Temple and his mother and father were cursing both him and the man who'd said that he was no longer a threat. He'd still be able to stop them from molesting him five times out of ten. "Why do all Kenobis want their own children?" his mother had muttered as she and his father turned to leave. "Why can't we just adopt?"

All these thoughts were for one end and it came in a single sentence like a marquee: Annie wanted what all the Kenobis wanted: a child. He accepted this without question. She wasn't a Kenobi and yet she was, and to be a Kenobi was to want children, even if it was for some perverted act.

"_Annie," _he sent and said,_ "there is peace. Let me show you. Please, Annie. There doesn't have to be death. All that you want can be achieved without the Dark Force. Let me help you. That's why I'm here. I'm not here to fight._" He was standing with Anakin now, a little before his lover. He sensed Anakin still distant in the Force and though there wasn't the time to puzzle this out, he set himself to protect his lover if at all possible. When Anakin came back to himself they could fight as one. Until then, he would shelter the man he loved. As much as the Force allowed him to do that, he would.

He had been aware of the Dark Force all around him but the Light inside him was strong and so he didn't let it distract him. But he also made a mistake and for years he would consider it the one which had led to so many others, and to death. He was so focused on the almost-bond he had with Annie, on saving her, no matter what Yoda's words, that he didn't feel the explosion in the Dark Force that came an instant before it struck.

His mind was lit on fire, worse than anything Fef'n had ever done, and he screamed. He was knocked back into his mind and knocked off his feet. He hit the destroyed soil that was just rock. He cried out but was up at once. "Annie-"

She laughed even as she turned from him. "You're dying, Papa. I can feel it. The Force is alive with your death."

Yes, he realized, the Force was alive with someone's coming death. He didn't reach out to find out whose. "Let me help you. I'm here to-"

"Keep me from getting Reeft back."

"Reeft? Annie, he's dead." What had happened to her memory? "Young one, he's gone."

"Young one?" The laughter had paled in the light of her rage. "I'm not your daughter. I'm not a child anymore. You have no right to call me 'young one.' "

"Perhaps not." Careful, now. He could easily say the wrong thing and send her away. Or everything might be wrong. That was definitely a possibility. "What are you talking about with Reeft?" If she wanted him brought back to life, then Obi-Wan had been rash to promise her anything she wanted. That was always a rash promise.

"Xanatos is going to help me make a clone of him. I will have my own child to raise." She glanced over her shoulder and her green-blue eyes blazed under all that luxuriant red hair. "I'll treat my child better than you did yours. I won't let him be raised by others and I won't let him be poisoned by the lies of the Jedi as you tried to poison me, as Reeft was poisoned. Reeft will live as my little boy and I will make all in the galaxy safe and peaceful for him. He will no nothing but joy."

"There is little joy without pain or struggle," Obi-Wan said.

"Another Jedi lie?" She looked away from him again. "What's the next one? That you'll be able to bring him back to life all by yourself?"

"The inhabitants of Kamino could do that, but he wouldn't be exactly like the Reeft you knew. All of Reeft's life at Temple, all of those he grew up with, the things he was taught and those he didn't understand, all those things made him who he was when yo0u met him. Cloning his body won't give you anything. All you'll have is a child who will look like Reeft after many years. You can't recreate the soul you love." And if she had cared for Reeft, how much had it taken from her to kill him?

"I can recreate anything. I am all-powerful."

He sighed. "Annie, you're not all-powerful. No one person is that. Only the Force-"

"I _am_ the Force!"

"You are human. Let me help you down a new path for you're trying to leap into a chasm and there I can't follow."

"If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."

Obi-Wan's heart broke. He felt it even as he felt something trickling down his legs. He didn't heed the stickiness or the warmth. He struggled only to keep from weeping. "Only a Sith deals in absolutes." Speaking those words made it clear to him and he did let a single tear fall. She was gone. Or so nearly gone that he didn't know how he could ever bring her back. Even in that moment he refused to think of her as lost but spoke the truth as he knew it: "I will do what I must." And he ignited his lightsaber. Behind him, he heard Xane whisper, "Not yet, Anakin. You're still too deep in. Breathe." And Anakin: "Let go of me before I kill you." Xane hissed in pain. "No."

All of this might have been happening on another planet for all Annie heard it. "You will try." And the battle was on.

oOo

"I hear a new apprentice you have, Emperor. Or should I call you Darth Sidious?" Yoda was conscious of the Darkness and the Light and the continuing shifting of the balance. He could still feel the emptiness where Mace's connection to the Force had been and he could feel Woda, still sleeping the induced unconsciousness that would keep him calm until this was done, one way or the other.

Sidious had been badly burned. Yoda could see all the damage that had been done by Force lightning. That Mace had been involved, he had no doubt. That Mace had caused much of this damage was something he accepted. But what had caused the lightning to return on its maker. Why hadn't Sidious been able to block it? Just now, that didn't matter. But Yoda might be able to cause just such a rebound.

"Master Yoda. You survived."

His voice, too, was a ruin. "Surprised?" Yoda asked.

Dark Force rippled around the Sith like a cloak. "Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the Dark Side." And he released a wave of Dark Force that was both more than Yoda had expected and more poisonous than perhaps he could take more than once.

As the wave struck, Yoda was lifted on its crest and hurled against a wall. Even as he fell, he called on the Force to cushion his fall and so he landed, completely still and unhurt. His eyes were closed and he listened to Sidious's steps even as he reached through the Force. He cut through the Darkness with sharp-bladed will and touched Anakin's mind. No. It wasn't Anakin. Anakin was closed off, tucked into himself, safe from the Darkness, at least mostly, but also cut off from any Light that might reach him.

The mind he touched was Xane's. Yoda knew him, knew all about him, or all that mattered on that last day of the young man's life. He spoke, mind-to-mind, and knew that Sidious didn't even suspect what he was doing. _Hear me can you?_

_Yes, Master._ His mental voice was sharp with urgency. _Can you reach Anakin? He's going to get either himself, Obi-wan, or all of us killed._

_Reach him I cannot. Up to Obi-Wan that is. Protect Padme you must._

_I will, Master. With my life and all that I am._

_Her survival the will of the Force is. _'Survival' and 'long life' weren't the same thing, but Xane knew that.

_Thank you._ And the connection was cut.

Sidious was taking his time; he'd taken only a few steps closer. Perhaps that, too, was the will of the Force. "I have waited a long time for this moment, my little, green friend. At last, the Jedi are no more."

Yoda was on his feet now. He ached a little, but not as much as his ancient bones had expected. "Not if anything to say about it I have." He expected to have the Force-wave he directed at Sidious blocked, but the Sith wasn't ready. As Yoda had been taken off his feet, Sidious was, and he was not able to cushion his fall whatsoever. But gathering that wave had cost him more than had expected and Yoda breathed for a moment. The Darkness was pressing in on him now, trying to drain his strength. He realized he hadn't closed his end of the connection he'd made with Xane and when he tried to close it now, he discovered he could not. Darkness seeped into his mind like a weak acid.

He showed none of this on his face or in his posture. "At an end your rule is, and not short enough it was." He drew his lightsaber and its green blade shot into the air as Sidious climbed to his feet. "If so powerful you are, why leave?"

oOo

Xanatos kept Anakin beside him by force of will as well as strength. He could sense Padme at the top of the slope and he would have been more worried for her if he hadn't heard from Yoda. Knowing that the Force cared about her- as it might or might not care for him, as it surely cared for the Chosen One- calmed him. Even if he fell here, she would be all right.

Anakin groaned softly. "I'm all right. He's alive and they're just talking. You can let me go now." His voice was reasonable, but there was a tremor in his arms. "She can't kill him if we protect him."

Obi-Wan and Annie weren't just talking; they had battled their way across the little bridge that led to the one circular building Xane had seen on the planet. The fact that Anakin didn't know this, or was trying such a weak lie, was not a good sign. He kept a tight hold on his prisoner and wondered why Anakin was so far gone. Surely seeing Obi-Wan had helped him? Wasn't his insanity due to grief?

Obi-Wan and Annie were almost out of sight. She was pressing him close and Anakin was going to trap them both here while he fought some sort of insane, groundless fantasy. And if Obi-Wan died, they'd probably all be lost because Anakin would kill Xane in the midst of his rage and pain, and then Annie would kill him. She had something he didn't have: calmness. She might be less trained than he was, but she was ruthless and she was calm. It was strange to think of a Sith as calmer than a Jedi, but she wasn't a typical Sith and Anakin wasn't a typical Jedi.

"Anakin," he said. "Listen to me. You need to calm down. Reach out to the Force and calm down."

"I can't reach out to the Force. The Force is all Dark. There's nothing here to reach out to."

"How do you think Obi-Wan's managing, then? He must be able to find something here. If he couldn't, she'd already have him." He turned Anakin towards him and shook the taller man hard as he could. "If you don't get control of yourself, she will kill him because she's younger, she's stronger, and he might be a Jedi Master with great skill, but she might have a little power over him because she's his daughter."

"She's not really his daughter. The Dark Force made her."

Xane nodded. "Fine, but Obi-Wan know that?"

"Yeah. Of course." Anakin struggled to look over Xane's shoulder. "Let me go to him. Let me help him."

That insane look was still in his eye. All his mind was taken with Obi-Wan; he had no connection to the Force. Xane wouldn't have believed this usually, his own connection to the Light being so new, but he knew the madness of the Dark Force. He'd seen it in his own mirror many mornings, and no more evidently than when he'd held Obi-Wan for that short, terrible time. Anakin would use whatever he felt necessary to save Obi-Wan and while that didn't mean he'd automatically dive into the Dark Force it wouldn't be long before he fell into it. "I'll let you go when you access the Light Force. Not until. Understand?"

Anakin groaned like a dying man. "I need to save him. Don't you understand? Like you love Padme, I love Obi. I need to save him. I can't survive without him. I need him, Xanatos. Please. I know he means nothing to you but please-"

"If you really want to get to him, you would fight me harder." And saying this, he knew it to be true and he was suddenly chilled. What was directing Anakin if it wasn't, as he claimed, a need for Obi-Wan to be safe? What was keeping him from attacking with everything he had in an effort to escape? Was there maybe some sane part of him left? Xane decided to appeal to that possibility. "There's Light everywhere, Anakin. Once you find it- even in yourself- I'll let you go. You find it, I'll let you go."

Anakin closed his eyes and breathed noisily through his teeth. "There IS no Light here."

"Obi-Wan found it. It must exist."

"Sure. Inside him. And the minute Annie gets in his mind, it'll be gone. She'll destroy him from the inside out. So just stop=" But then Anakin stopped and his mouth relaxed. "Obi's found Light?" He shook his head. "Of course he has. Every Jedi's made of Light? The fuck's wrong with me?" He pulled one arm suddenly free from Xane's grip. "Come on. We've got to help him." He glanced up the slope. "Padme, stay there. We'll be right back." He glanced at Xane. "She can't stand a chance against the three of us, especially when Obi has already been trying to talk to her. He talked Dooku back to the Light. Maybe he can even save a devil like-"

There was an explosion like a half-charged missile in the back of Xane's head. Not a physical thing, but a psychic that made him let go of Anakin and stagger half a step. "What's that?" he heard Padme cry. "What's going on?"

Anakin drew his lightsaber and swung it around his head like a pinwheel, almost taking Xane's head with the deadly blade. "_Obi!_" he howled and tore off towards the bridge.

Xane reached out, both with his hands, which he would have certainly lost to the hungry blade, and with whatever connection to the Force he had now. He yanked at Anakin with that connection and managed to pull the knight off his feet. He, too, fell, and that was a good thing because if he hadn't, the rock Anakin hurled at him would have surely killed him. Instead, it flew over his head and he heard Padme scream.

Then he was being picked up, choked by an invisible hand, and Anakin snarled, "If you get in my way, you're dead. She's going to pay for this." He hurled Xane away and fled."

Xane hit the ground again and this time had the terrible fortune to strike his head on a rock. He groaned and rolled over, the sound of Padme's departed scream driving him. He crawled halfway up the slope and found her there, huddled on the ground with her arms around his belly. Blood gushed from the right side of her head.

"I'm all right," she said in a perfectly clear voice. "It's just that I could feel everything. All his hatred, all his anger. He might be more dangerous than her now." She lifted tearing eyes. "Is Obi-Wan-?"

"I don't know." He felt her pulse, knew it was strong, and nodded. "I have to go after Anakin."

She squeezed his hand. "Be careful. Watch out for her. If she killed Obi-Wan…"

"Maybe she didn't. Remember that we're surrounded by Darkness and anything you hear may or may not be a lie." He rose. "If you can get out of sight, do so. Try to bind your head wound." He squeezed her hand again. "Be careful. I'll be right back."

He jumped down the slope, shocked when he was supported by a wave of Force that was decidedly not Dark. He ran for the bridge and the building beyond. His steps rang on the metal bridge like demonic bells and the noise was so loud that he almost missed the call. It must have been carried on the Force.

"Xane…"

He skidded to a halt and almost lost his balance as volcanic rock exploded below and the river of lava churned and boiled and tried to eat at the bridge and everything else from the bottom up. He dropped to one knee at the very edge of the bridge, buoyed up in the Force, and saw Obi-Wan clinging to a slight bit of metal that had to be cutting his hands. He was twenty feet down, a good hundred feet above the lava. But some of the exploding rocks might reach that high.

"Call my liquid cable to your hand," the pale, sweating man said in a voice completely devoid of fear. "I've got a good hold on it."

Xane reached out, doubting, even now, that he could do anything without the Dark Force and in the midst of so much Dark Force resistance. "I'll climb down to you."

"No. The bridge's side supports are weak. You can do this." Obi-Wan's eyes were alight with something then and after a moment Xane realized it was agony he was seeing. The Jedi had something more wrong with him than cut hands. "You can. Your heart-" The metal groaned under him and he winced, still not in fear but in more pain.

And then Obi-Wan's hand was in his and he was tugging the Jedi over the side of the bridge. He was holding Obi-Wan not because he might fall but because he was compelled to do it. "The Force," Xane whispered. "It did that. It picked you up."

"With your direction, yes." Obi-Wan drew back but his hand was at his midsection and he winced again.

Xane stared in horror at the man's blood-soaked tunic and trousers. A lightsaber wouldn't have done that damage. Burn, char, cauterize, but bring forth a sea of blood? No. "What happened?" He reached out but stopped before he could touch Obi-Wan's side. There were healing powers within the Force but surely Obi-Wan was using those already. Besides, the little Xane knew about healing in the Force was that only certain Jedi were meant to be healers.

Obi-Wan stretched out on the bridge and lay perfectly still, one hand on his abdomen. "I lost our child." He was weeping now but seemed unaware.

Thinking of Padme's babies, which he'd started thinking of as his own since he loved her, Xane wanted to comfort him.

"Maybe Ni was right. Maybe I'm not meant to have children." Obi-Wan sighed, blinked as the tears slowed and stopped, and felt of his abdomen with both hands now.

Xane cleared his throat, swallowing the wave of grief that had come either through the Force or from his own heart. "Where's the blood coming from?" For all his travels, he realized, he'd known a man to be pregnant. He'd accepted it but never seen it.

"It's seeping through my skin. I never thought I would experience a Phaltheen faith bleeding." Obi-Wan was still gently feeling of his abdomen and his fingers were bloody but his lips twitched in a ghost of a smile. "It's ebbing but that might just be because I'm not putting any strain on it." He sat up and waited several moments. "All right. I think I can stand." But first he met Xane's eyes. "Anakin went after her. Will you help me stop her? Don't get me wrong," he added, putting out one of his bloody hands. "Padme is your prime concern. But if she's safe, will you help stop Annie? She must be stopped or many more people will be lost."

_He wouldn't ask in such a scattered way if he wasn't in agony. _He wasn't sure if this came from the Force or his own mind. It still seemed like some kind of dream that he was out from under the cloak of the Darkness and all it had taken was seeing Padme Amidala. He got to his feet and held out a hand. As he helped Obi-Wan to his feet, he said, "I'm with you."

They started towards the other side of the bridge, walking fast because Obi-Wan couldn't run. But he was gaining strength- or force of will- with every step. And so they came to the other side of the bridge sooner than Xane had expected and Obi-Wan started to lead the way into the building. But then he stopped and headed around the building's side.

"They're out," he said, glancing at Xane. "They'll be fifty to seventy meters beyond and there's no back door to that place."

"Having so much foreknowledge isn't normal," Xane said even as he kept stride. He was aware that discussing the true powers of the Force left him with a surreal taste in his mouth but he kept on. "I didn't think the Jedi commanded such foreknowledge."

"We don't but there is someone guiding me. Maybe Yoda. Maybe Anakin, though that would be subconsciously."

"Yoda? How could Yoda-?"

"Through a connection with Anakin. I don't know and just now I don't have the time or strength to question." He met Xane's gaze for an instant and again his lips curved into that ghost of a smile. "You are seeking wisdom and so though you probably don't want to hear this, I must say it: Qui-Gon would have been proud of you and so am I."

"When did you start to feel like my surrogate master?" He couldn't decide if he was touched, disturbed or amused.

"The first time you reached out for the Light. And believe it or not, I was just as surprised." His eyes darkened. "I suppose the closest I'll come to children are surrogate padawans." He blinked and was himself again. He broke into a shambling run. "Come on. They're close."

oOo

Obi-Wan could hear Annie's manic and earnest cries in the Force. Anakin, too, was crying out, but in fury. The master had watched his lover fly across the bridge and he'd tried to call his lover, tried to pull him out of the destructive spiral he was taking, but Anakin hadn't heard him.

Still, as he rounded the building, all thoughts of past or future disappeared. There was only now. There was only what he could do in this moment. He didn't even think of all he'd be preventing if he succeeded here, now.

Anakin and Annie weren't far beyond the building's long curve. They were locked together by their lightsabers, straining like those who set themselves to move a mountain. Their faces were identically flushed and their eyes were bright with hostility and all that was so much more than hostility. Obi-Wan heard the chitter of their blades even over the rumbling of the earth under his feet and the rasp of his own breathing. And, apart from all this but very included in all he felt, was the stickiness of blood on his abdomen and thighs. He accepted this sensation and set it aside (as he'd been doing since it first began) and only this allowed him to

Beside him, Xane drew his blade and Obi-Wan followed suit. The time for talking was long past. He and Xane charged into the battle together. Obi-Wan pushed the combatants apart with the Force and in their single-minded attack on each other, this was quite easy. Then he was engaging Annie at close range while Xane came upon her from behind.

She leapt away from both of them, giving herself some space. And as her eyes shifted from confident fury to uncertainty, Obi-Wan wondered if there might be time for a little more talk after all. And so he motioned Xane to stay back with Anakin. Anakin's shock he felt as a whisper in the Force; maybe that meant his lover was coming back to himself; please let it be so. He lowered his blade a few inches and spoke as evenly as the agony in his midsection would allow. He knew it was too ragged by half but let that truth go. He was doing all he could. "I have failed you, Annie." He took a breath and tried to meet her gaze. She refused. "I have failed you."

"I should have known the Jedi were planning to overthrow the Chancellor."

When had this become about politics? Had she and Anakin talked? It seemed unlikely. And if they hadn't talked, was she really talking about politics or only thinking to put him off his guard? Well, just in case she really did have the political convictions she was spouting: "Annie, the Chancellor is evil!"

"In my opinion, the Jedi are evil. You destroyed Reeft. He could have lived if only he hadn't been brainwashed by you. All of you, but especially you, Papa. You're the greatest and strongest hypocrite of them all because you have so little of what the Jedi claim to love and need and depend on and yet they made you a master, a negotiator and so many other false things. Negotiator!" She laughed, and for the first time since Obi-Wan had heard her laugh, that sound was broken. His heart moved for her, but was broken when she said: "When you never came to me, never eased me into life, never comforted me when I needed you, how could you ever comfort anyone else?" She twirled her 'saber and all the pain he'd seen disappeared back behind a mask of fury.

"Then you are lost," he said, more to himself than her, and more to understand it himself than because she needed to hear it. She was a Jedi now no more than she'd ever truly been his daughter. Yes, he had failed her and in the ways she said. But now he must do what was right. _I'm so sorry, young one._

Annie advanced on him. "This is the end for you, Papa."

Anakin and Xane were suddenly on either side of him and their blades hummed in time with his. He didn't glance at Anakin but reached out and felt Anakin, distantly, reaching back. And on his other side, Xane was a blazing torch of Light. "It's over, Annie. You will only die if you try to fight us."

"You underestimate my power." Again she twirled her weapon and took a step towards them. "I have surpassed the Jedi. I am better than any Jedi ever was or ever will be." Another step forward and her eyes were fever-gems of hate.

He tried one last time. "Don't try it."

And for an instant, it seemed to work. At least visually. She lowered her blade, closed her eyes, lowered her head-

Force lightning burst from the fingers of her free hand and she engulfed the three of them in the blue and jittering lines of fire. It wasn't quite as painful as when he'd been attacked in a similar way by Dooku, but it stopped his heart for a full three seconds and only his connection to the Force kept him alive. He fell and in the midst of so much pain he didn't feel his head connect with the sharp rocks. He saw the black motes and white rays that shot across his vision but he paid them no mind. He had no strength to pay them even the slightest bit of attention.

Then he was released from the lightning and his heart began to beat once more. But before he could even begin to gather his strength, he was lifted into the air and hurled backwards. He struck the ground for a second time and another freshet of blood coursed over his midsection. He groaned and tried to roll over. Dizziness made him retch but he held back the urge to throw up. Again he was seized in the grip of Darkness and flung into the air. This time, as he began to fall, he was caught again and flung up higher. He tried to discern up from down so he could have a chance of landing on his feet or at least not on his head but it was impossible to tell where the sky and whence the earth.

And yet he didn't strike the ground. He was hurled up one last time and then set down almost gently.

"Wait here, Papa," she said from a long distance off and then he heard the sound- so distant, so far!- of Anakin screaming.

Obi-Wan called all the Force that was in him to bear and struggled first to roll over, and then to his knees and at last to his feet. What he saw stopped his blood. Anakin was encased in blue-white lightning and Annie had also taken both his hands with her demon-red blade. As Obi-Wan staggered towards them (and towards Xane, who lay, motionless, not far away) Annie left off the lightning and took two steps back. She closed her eyes again.

Obi-Wan lurched into a run. "Annie, don't!" He fell as the ground shook like a dog. He caught himself on hands and knees and lifted his head in time to see a stream of liquid lava thin as a spider's webbing shoot out of the ground and splash around Anakin. Some of it bounced like insane electrons and then his face was burned and his chest and his stomach and he screamed and rolled away, trying to protect the more vulnerable parts of himself. "_Obi! Please!_"

Obi-Wan seized Annie in a Force-grip that he couldn't be entirely sure wasn't tempered by rage and shot her like a bullet away from Anakin. And he leapt after her.

She landed in a crouch, rolled, and came up running. She went back towards the front of the building and the bridge.

Obi-Wan gave chase.

oOo

He felt like he'd been doused in engine fuel, set alight, and then put out in less than thirty seconds. The damage was done but he thought the worst of the pain was yet to come. Healing, his father had once said, was a bitch. Little Xane hadn't understood that at the time, but he did now. And it was only half due to the Force lightning. That was the problem. What he felt in the Force was a thousand times worse. He'd been drained, raped as thoroughly by the Dark Force as he'd ever raped Obi-Wan. He wondered, just for an instant, if this was how Obi-Wan had felt after he, Xanatos, had violated him with the Dark Force.

"It was probably worse," he whispered. "He couldn't feel the Light Force at all and I-" But he couldn't. He discovered that he could feel nothing but his own limited and screaming body. "No," he moaned. "No. Please. I don't want to be away from the Force. Please. I can't live without it. I can't…" His heart squirmed in his chest and he loosed a dry and cracking scream. He needed to calm down. If his heart did that kind of movement again he might just die from the pain.

In a nightmare he remembered how Annie had stopped that life-giving muscle in mid-gallop and how he'd lost consciousness almost at once. He supposed he was lucky to be alive but he didn't feel lucky. He felt cursed.

With a moan that he hardly recognized as made from his vocal chords, he rolled over and saw Anakin lying not far away. The man was burned; Xane could smell him. The man was breathing; Xane thought he might just hear that. The man was dying. That was what the Force- _it hasn't deserted me!_- told him. And the Force told him one other thing even though he still couldn't do more that hear it: Anakin must live. If he died, the reign of the Sith would last for as long as the Galactic Republic's rule.

With this knowledge and with the hope of seeing Padme again firing his blood and inspiring his muscles to strain, he crawled to Anakin's side. Once there, he rested a moment. Nothing would be gained if he died of a heart attack and his heart was thundering louder than the greatest ocean. And so he sat, waiting for his heart to calm, and looked for Annie and Obi-Wan. They were both gone. Had he chased her away to save Anakin and Xane? Or had she taken him, maybe wanting to dunk him in one of the many lava lakes? He tried to reach out into the Force but was trapped in his own body and mind, unable even to sense the Force within himself. But it was there; it had spoken. And so he refused to panic. Besides, panic would only make his heart race and he had an idea that his heart had taken much more strain than was good for it.

When his heart at last told him it was ready to take a little more movement, he touched Anakin's neck and found the man's pulse. "Anakin?" he asked in a voice that rasped and jittered about like the voice of an old man. He made a gallows smile. "Why, what strange and horrible things happen when our hearts are stopped, boys and girls!" Still grinning like a bared skull, he rolled Anakin over and studied his wounds.

Anakin's face was melted. Like Mace Windu's. Pleasant. But Anakin had at least one thing over old Mace (and over himself, he supposed): he was still most definitely connected to the Force. (The Force told him this and he wondered momentarily if his connection to the Force had been changed from feeling to a strange sort of hearing. He wasn't sure he liked the trade, but it beat the hell out of having no Force connection at all.) "Oh, yes, boys and girls. It beats the hell and the heaven and the shit out of _that_." He laughed. Like his smile, it was dead.

There wasn't much, if anything, he could do for Obi-Wan, not knowing where he was, his condition, what he faced, or so many other things. But he could help Anakin. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to stand up. He wasn't sure he'd be able to walk while carried the injured man, but he knew he would try. "All right, what is that the Jedi always say? May the Force be with me." He grinned at the slight twist of the words. "Yeah, Force, if you want Anakin to live, you'll really need to be with me. I'll never make it on my own." He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them, studied Anakin for another moment, and at last got his arms around the Jedi and, swaying and trembling, staggered to his feet with Anakin more or less securely held in his arms.

He stumbled his way around in a half circle and started for the building. He would put Anakin on the ship he and Padme had taken and if Obi-Wan was still alive and Annie was dead, maybe they could all go back to Coruscant and somehow make everything better. Obi-Wan had told him that Yoda was going after Sidious and if anyone had a chance of killing that dangerous bit of poison, it was Yoda. And while he was hoping for miracles, like making it to the ship and having Obi-Wan still alive and Annie dead, he might as well hope Yoda was right now standing over Sidious's smoking body.

He took several steps, his heart racing in his chest, and then he saw the other ship. It must be the one Annie had used to get here. He stood for a moment, considering the relatively short distance, and then started that way. He'd program the ship to take Anakin somewhere, to some planet that was either still friendly to the decimated Republic or at least neutral and then go find Padme. "Please-" he gasped- "let Obi-Wan have killed Annie." Because if he hadn't, there was a very good chance Annie had killed Padme. With this thought giving him temporary and fear-made strength, he went for Annie's ship.

oOo

Annie stood at blaster-point by the time Obi-Wan caught up with her. She was standing on far end of the bridge and Padme stood on the slightly-sturdier land. Annie could have taken the blaster from Padme without much Force-command, but she seemed both exhausted and undecided. And so Obi-Wan stopped several steps behind her with his lightsaber deactivated in one hand. He was close enough to catch the blaster and pitch it into the lava below if Annie decided to grab it with the Force in an attempt to shoot Padme.

He saw that Padme had been bleeding and thought, _We've all been hurt badly. _At least the beam of her Force-connection was strong; she would be all right. And he could feel the weak flicker of Anakin's life-force. He couldn't feel Xane but neither did he feel the hollowness that would have marked Xane's death. Maybe Xane had simply been cut off from the Force for a little time. He would hold to that hope.

Annie darted forward suddenly and Padme opened fire. Obi-Wan wrapped a band of Force around Annie and tried to pull her back, but the band was cut by a knife of Darkness so sharp that Obi-Wan nearly lost his balance. Annie didn't use her lightsaber to defend herself, and yet none of the bolts seemed to touch her. Obi-Wan even had to draw his own weapon and fend off a few, but Annie remained untouched. She wasn't, he saw in the instant before her lightsaber descended, going for Padme or for her blaster but for the place where bridge met land. He was tempted to call out to her, tell her to stop, but she wouldn't heed so what was the point? Still, he wondered. Didn't she understand that she'd very likely kill them both? Or perhaps she thought she could leap to the land and thus save herself. She might even be right. She was much closer than he. Maybe she had sensed him coming? He would have never thought a girl who should have been no more than nine would have such ability, but he hadn't expected her to have command of Force lightning, either.

He leapt for her, trying to call her lightsaber from her hand even as he used a tenuous hold on her to drag himself close much faster than legs or even a standard Force-assisted leap would allow. And he nearly reached her. But then the bridge groaned, screamed, and the end on which they both stood dropped sickeningly. Obi-Wan holstered his lightsaber and spun around like a dancer. He raced for the other side of the bridge, which was moment by moment rising above him like a cliff being born. Behind him, he heard Annie scream in surprise and then he sensed her also climbing, trying to get away from the fiery sea.

_Do or do not do. There is no try._

Obi-Wan smiled much as Xane had- that cadaverous twist of lips that meant not amusement but a species of unvoiceable pain- and kept climbing. Yes, that was true. He had been attempting so many things in the last fifteen minutes or so that he'd nearly lost sight of one of the oldest Jedi lessons. In doing so, he'd certainly lost the corollary to that lesson: _do what you can in the moment and stop thinking about what you failed to do. _Annie was away from Padme and that was something. Annie was chasing him and that was something, too, because he would have another chance to face her and end this.

He scaled the bridge like a cautious monkey being pursued by a deadly tree snake, to whit, he gripped hard when he had something to grip and moved swiftly to the next hold. Thus he was able to catch himself without too much trouble when the opposite side of the bridge decided enough was enough and also uncoupled from the land. Below him, he heard Annie cry out in shock and then curse. But she was still alive and still chasing him so he kept climbing.

As he neared the top of the bridge he saw little floes of rock like the chunks of ice he'd seen on so many half-frozen seas. He could, with the help of the Force, leap to one of those. He would eve be able to pilot one of them like a tiny boat and take himself to one of the shores. From there, with both of them on solid ground again-

_What?_ he demanded of his ever-hopeful mind even as he considered several likely-looking rock floes. _You'll try to talk to her again? Is that what you're planning?_

Well, yes and no. He wasn't planning to talk and he wasn't planning to fight; he was only planning to do what he must. And so, encased in what felt like a coward's on-the-fence posture, he found a floe, let go of the bridge with one hand, judged the distance, and flew out over the lava.

He landed gracefully and looked up at Annie. Her face was haggard like a woman of fifty who has perpetrated much hatred and little petty attacks. She cried out something that he didn't hear over the crackling of molten rock and leapt down to another floe. This she drove towards him like the little boats he'd imagined and then they met, blade to blade. She seemed to have lost all the preternatural strength and much of the preternatural ability that had served her so well not long ago. She engaged only blade to blade, strength to strength, and there was nowhere for either of them to retreat.

He strained against her, not wanting to push her into the fiery sea but refusing to let her do so to him. He could hear the song of her fury running in and out of the Force like one dark thread on a golden background, and he heard Padme's thread and Xane's thread- so thin, so thin, but there!- and Anakin's flickering life-force like a string of electronic code. He shoved against her and nearly received a nose-ectomy for his trouble.

She was tiring; he felt it in the shaking of her muscles. But then, so was he, and he had a feeling that it would be a coin toss as to whose strength went first. Over her shoulder, he saw mostly-solid land, a slope of crumbling and shifting rock that nonetheless crested to a flat place. He looked away from the place lest he give away his plans, all the while judging the distance between this floating hell and the relative safety of the slope's peak. He could make it if only she didn't sense what he meant to do. He considered the two inches of give he had behind his left foot and took them, watching her eyes light up with fiendish joy as she realized she was exhausting him. Then he somersaulted over her head, tucking his legs up to shield his chest for he could live with out legs but not without a heart.

She shrieked as he sailed over the orange and yellow and white waves and continued to howl in frustration as he flew over the shifting downward slope and landed like a dove on a branch right at the slope's peak.

She steered her tiny island towards him and her eyes gleamed. "You think you're so special. I can do all you can and more."

"It's over, Annie," he said, feeling time double back on itself. He'd already tried this once; what made him think that it might deter her now? But he must try.

_There is no try._ And: _Live in the moment. _And, freezing his blood, _Destroy the Sith we must._

He was crying; he let the tears evaporate in the rising heat. "Don't. I have the high ground."

She laughed at him, at death, at the possibility that she, a Sith, could ever suffer much more than a minor set-back. In that way she was weaker than Darth Maul: that Sith had at least known about death. "You underestimate my power."

Yes, he had underestimated the power she had- over his heart. But if she did this foolish thing he would have to defend himself. He simply didn't have the ability to put off his duty longer. If she leapt, he would have to kill her. "Don't try it."

She leapt, clearing the lava, rocketing up the slope-

He cut her off at the knees as she tried to fly over his head and kill him with her 'saber as she did it.

She slid down the slope and for a terrible moment he thought he would see her go in to the lava. Then she stopped. Incredibly, her hands reached up, clawing at the slope.

He was sobbing outright now. "I loved you. You were my daughter in all the ways I could make you my daughter. I loved you."

She screamed, her face half-buried in the crumbling shale, _"I hate you."_

He heard it both in his mind and with his ears and he groaned as her hatred knifed into him and he had no choice but to stagger back.

In the midst of so much agony, he felt Xane die.

Before he could even draw a horrified breath, fire ran up from the lava over Annie's body, engulfing her, dousing her in hungry flames. She screamed and he sobbed again. And, sobbing and stumbling, he left her. She would die here. That would have to be good enough because he just couldn't strike the final blow. In shame and anguish, he left the edge of the lava sea.

oOo

Xane was alive. Xane was alive. She chanted this to herself as she huddled into herself and tried to stop the babies from coming. Contractions tore her apart and she screamed into the boiling stillness. She screamed for Anakin, she screamed for Obi-Wan, but mostly she screamed for Xane, her beautiful, wonderful Xane who was supposed to help her take care of one of her babies.

She pretended she could see him. He was leaning against an instrument panel and though she didn't understand why this should be, she clung to the image. It didn't matter what he was doing just so long as he was-

The image intensified and then took her over, drawing her under like a strong hand. She cried out in shock but when he started to speak right to her heart, she quieted.

"Anakin's got to live. I'm sending him away. And I'm giving him a gift. The Force tells me I can give him what's left of me and if I do that, he might live."

"No! No, you can't! _I need you_!" She rolled over on her side and screamed as the babies tried to come again. "Don't go! Please!"

She seemed to feel the brush of his fingers against her cheek. "If I don't go, we won't see peace for a thousand years." He kissed her; she saw it and felt it and breathed it. "I love you. And we'll see each other again. Qui-Gon told me so. Come into the Force and there we'll meet."

"Please don't. Please don't go. Xane…"

He was gone. She felt him go and it was like being gutted by a fisherman's knife. The image of him leaning on the control panel faded to black and she was alone in her mind. She screamed once, and then dove gratefully into the unconsciousness that swam up to meet her.

oOo

Obi-Wan carried Padme onto the ship. He was closely followed by the droids and he didn't notice them except to be sure that both were on the vessel. Anakin would be looking for these two that he cared about. Assuming, of course, that Anakin was still alive.

Force, but he'd never truly thought of losing his beloved. Yes, he'd lost Qui-Gon. Twice, now. And that pain was so raw that maybe he wasn't able to tell one grief from another. But as the ship lifted off from Mustafa and he set the coordinates for the ship owned by Senator Organa, he could see each stab-wound free of the others.

Annie.

Anakin.

Padme, who was fading in his arms.

His and Anakin's child, gone.

Xane.

The Jedi. All those Jedi who had been his colleagues, friends, family.

Qui-Gon.

There was no sense of order to the wounds, no hierarchy. He didn't know for whom he grieved most, including himself, but he saw each wound as its own thing, unaffected by the others. He wasn't sure if this was how things really were but it helped him to see them as their own little island and so that was how he saw them.

Then the Force exploded with death and Obi-Wan cried out, glad that Padme was on a bed and no longer in his arms because he might have dropped her. He sobbed once, but no tears came. He was too shocked and gutted for tears.

Anakin was dead, or cut off from the Force, or maybe just lost in the Darkness. He prayed for the last because that meant his lover might return, that he might be rescued. He dreaded the first and the second turned his blood to ice and his skin to stone.

"Anakin," he whispered as the little ship he, Padme and Xane had taken leapt into hyperspace.

oOo

He sat with Mace and Woda, waiting for news. Waiting for Obi-Wan to contact him and say that he was all right and that Annie was dead. If Obi-Wan had succeeded, that was a great blow to the Sith. If Obi-Wan hadn't accomplished his mission, then maybe Anakin was lost, as well. Yoda bowed his head and prayed for Anakin's and Obi-Wan's lives. He prayed for the end of the Darkness bur knew it wouldn't come soon. He resigned himself to this and tried to turn his mind to other things, to immediate planning. It hadn't been this difficult to focus on what he could change since he was very young. Now he could barely separate groundless worries and hopes from plans and he was dizzy with the struggle.

He reached over and laid a hand on Mace's forehead. His lover was all but dead, his Force-signature reduced to that held by all the non-Force-sensitives in the galaxy. His heartbeat was slow and his breathing was staggered as if it was a conscious effort to draw each breath. He sighed and knew that Mace might die. He tried to accept this, to restrain himself from railing against the Force, but he wept as the Darkness rose and Mace's life force flickered.

At least Woda was alive. Yes, there was that to be grateful for. And at least the younglings wouldn't suffer any longer. He sobbed and pressed one three-fingered hand over his mouth to stifle the sound. Woda might wake and he didn't want his son to find him this way.

"Yoda… Sh, it's all right. You're all right. There is still hope." Mace's dark eyes were sparked with passion and warmth. "Breathe, love," he murmured. "This isn't like you."

Yoda realized he was weeping and he let the tears fall as he moved to Mace's side and kissed him. He couldn't speak but lay down so that his head was on Mace's chest. He could hear his lover's heart beating and he gave himself over to just the sound and sensation of that blessed sound for awhile. Mace was alive, alive and strong. His connection to the Force had been severed, but if he could face such a truth with strength, Yoda should also face it. He blinked, letting the last few tears fall, and then he said, "Love you I do."

Mace stroked his back with trembling fingers. "I almost lost you, I think. Sidious is dangerous."

"Failed I have. Tried to defeat him. I could not." Yoda swallowed. "Failed."

"Then the Force will make another way. It always does." Mace stroked him right down the middle of his back, tracing his spine, bringing out not only copious amounts of sensation but spreading warmth throughout every muscle.

Yoda breathed into the release on tension and felt two things at once: Anakin was not dead, though he might be disconnected from the Force as Mace was, and Obi-Wan was still very much alive. In great pain but very much alive. He breathed a little easier. "Yes. Find a way the Force will. Balance established must be." He breathed and concentrated on just his breathing for several moments. Then, when he felt his equilibrium restored, he sat up and met Mace's gaze. "Thank you."

Mace smiled. "That's why I'm here."

The doors to the small room where they had been resting aboard ship breezed open and Senator Organa stepped into the room. "Master Yoda, Master Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi has made contact."

Yoda met Mace's gaze and was grateful to see that the smile he received was as full of relief as his own heart.

oOo

Obi-Wan stood just beyond the little room where Padme was dying. He could feel her fading life in the Force and he wanted to scream for her to come back, to not give in to all the pain she felt. The medical droid came and told him that she was dying and he didn't need the information but it was like being stabbed in the heart nonetheless. He waited until the droid went to Padme's side in preparation for delivering the babies, and then he went to the head of her bed and took her chilled hand. "Don't give up, Padme," he whispered, knowing in his heart that she had already done so. "He is gone but-" But what? What could he possibly use to comfort her? "Please save your energy."

She shook her head. Her face was streaked with sweat and her hair was damp with the same. She smelled more of Mustafa's dust, however, than of what she suffered. She gripped his hand with desperate strength and her eyes were bright. "He says I'll be with him soon."

"Padme-"

She cried out and there was the sudden and usually beautiful cry of a newborn child. Obi-Wan turned as the medical droid brought the baby to him and he showed the new life to the mother. "It's a boy."

"Luke," she said. "Oh, Luke." She smiled, but there was not true life in that smile. She was fading. Then she was screaming again and the other came into the world. "Leia," she said when he showed her the babe. She looked up into his face then. "He says Anakin might still life."

"Yes," Obi-Wan answered. "I'll look for him-" it was the first lie he'd consciously told in many, many years and he let a tear fall for its sake- "but mostly I'll tend your little ones. But they would be so much better if you-" He realized he was crying hard now and blinked to slow his tears.

"He's calling me." She closed her eyes and she was gone.


	61. Coming to the StandOff

**Author's Note:** Wow. I apologize for the wait. This took a long time to write. Much longer than I thought. This was supposed to be one of the easiest- and even one of the shorter- chapters. So much for that. Well, you've got fifteen thousand words to enjoy. I hope it's not a pain to open the page. I've never done one chapter this long, in any story, even the soon-to-be published stuff under Linda Ellis.

And, for your enjoyment (and relief, since this is the LAST Five Years chapter):

Five Years (1)Pg. 928

Five Years (2)Pg. 948

Five Years (3)Pg. 964

Five Years (4)Pg. 985

Five Years (Breaking)Pg. 1006

Five Years (Some Mending)Pg. 1030

Five Years (Escape)Pg. 1050

Five Years (Coming Home)Pg. 1079

Five Years (False Recovery)Pg. 1100

Five Years (Before the Abduction)Pg. 1126

Five Years (Abduction)Pg. 1142

Five Years (Dogfight and Rescue)Pg. 1166

Five Years (Planning)Pg. 1187

Five Years (Step One: The Rape)Pg. 1207

Five Years (Step Two: The Aftermath)Pg. 1225

Five Years (Xanatos and the

Plans for the Survivors)Pg. 1248

Five Years (Five Deaths)Pg. 1268

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- I)Pg. 1291

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- II)Pg. 1313

Five Years (No Time for Grief)Pg. 1325

Five Years (Coming to the Stand-Off)Pg. 1355

Five Years: Coming to the Stand-Off)

Obi-Wan was right when he predicted that the fall of the Jedi would be wrought in five years, but what marked the end of those five years wasn't the killing of the last Jedi but a lessening of surveillance, a galactic forgetting that protected the twins. It was, in short, a stand-off rather than a total victory or defeat.

He and Anakin didn't meet again until long after the stand-off was reached.

oOo

His skin was trying to slough off his body like the fried hide of some fowl or fish. Anakin lay, not in bacta or even in healing herbs, but on a simple bed. He heard people coming and going and he knew they didn't speak Basic. He knew, too, that he couldn't feel his Obi-Wan in the Force, and his mind kept insisting his lover was dead, but since he couldn't yet feel anything in the Force he put that voice of doom aside. Wouldn't he remember his Obi dying?

For now he culdn't sense anything in the Force. Everything was 'for now', or so he hoped. His pain would eventually fade (it increased instead) and he would be able, in time, to feel Obi-Wan reaching out for him. Yes, he remembered the shock of Obi-Wan's death but maybe it was a trick like when his lover had been cut off from the Force. Or maybe Anakin had been too close to the Dark Side to know what was fact and what was fiction. That could be, so he refused to think about Obi-Wan's death. For now.

After a time, he became conscious of other things besides the bed. There was something in his arm, probably feeding him through his veins or whatever those drips were supposed to be connected to. He'd never done well in that sort of biology. He'd never had cause to learn how to heal others. There had always been this belief, unspoken but definitely imprinted on his heart, that if it really came down to his death or Obi's, the one who was healthy would feed the other medichlorian-enriched blood and all would be well.

After the needle, he realized he was completely naked, without even a sheet covering him, and yet he was warm. Hot, even. Sometimes he sweated and his burned skin itched. Sometimes he could do nothing but moan about the itch. Sometimes he couldn't even do that.

A short time after he'd gained the ability to moan continually- and thus he was able, a little, to consciously keep quiet- he heard a voice he recognized. "For Oie-Wan we do this."

"But in such hard times… The Emperor won't like-"

"I'd rather lose my head than betray Oie-Wan's lover."

"What about your people, Your Majesty?"

"The Jedi is in my house. He is in a hidden room. Who is to know that any but I tend him? If you are disturbed and concerned, Minister Thopek, go back upstairs. I will tend him alone."

There was silence then, for several moments. Then Thopek said, "How can you be sure he is Oie-Wan's lover?"

"Oie-Wan's scent is all over him."

Anakin wanted to grin or blush or something else completely adolescent. Luckily, he couldn't move. Did this Majesty, whoever he was, mean he could literally smell Obi-Wan? How could that be?

"I will stay with you, Your Majesty." Then: "He's awake, I think."

There was a gentle hand touching him. He wasn't quite sure where he was being touched except that it was north of his waist and south of his ears. "Jedi? Can you hear me?"

Anakin wondered if he could open his mouth or nod, He decided, when his skull began to scream with itches and pain, that nodding was a bad idea. Likewise, opening his mouth wasn't going to happen.

"Yes, Jedi, I see you're awake," Majesty said.

_That's his title, not his name. And where do I know that voice from?_ He couldn't place it but right now it was a great distraction from the itching so he used it as that great distraction.

"There's so much I want to ask you. I'll give you the questions now and when you feel better, maybe you'll be able to give me a few answers." His hand seemed to move north. "How is Oie-Wan? I know he isn't- that the Jedi aren't- the rebellious, controlling monsters that everyone seems to say they are. Qui-Gon's padawan was beyond brave, both when he tried to protect me and when he asked, with Qui-Gon, to bury his daughter here."

Where had he heard this voice before? It was beginning to bug him more than it should. It was almost not pleasant anymore.

The king or prince or whatever he was chuckled. "He didn't think I knew she was his, but I knew. It was beyond obvious, even though I couldn't see her. It was in the way he and Qui-Gon walked together and in the way they buried her."

He'd known Obi and Qui-Gon when they were together.

"She was theirs. And, of course, I heard that he named her Lindi Jinn-Kenobi. Not something that was supposed to be told at the Jedi Temple, I don't think, but things are different now." He sighed. "I think they were even _better_ for awhile." Another sigh. "Well, Oie-Wan's lover, rest. I'll be back later."

He wanted so badly to ask who the man was- or at least get his brain unstuck- that he grunted. It hurt bad enough to bring tears to his eyes. Or maybe that was just the mental image he got. He couldn't really feel his face.

"It's all right, Jedi. You're safe here." But he didn't leave. "I wish I could do what Qui-Gon could do: read minds, I think it was, or maybe he could only read his lover's mind. I really never understood the Force." He chuckled sadly. "Listen to me rambling on. But you seem to want me to stay.

"There's not really much I can tell you that you probably don't know. Oie-Wan was the type of open Jedi who talked about everything so I'll bet he's told you all about this."

His heart ached to hear that; a memory surfaced: his Obi falling to his death, being dissolved in Mustafa's lava. He tried to sob but he didn't have the strength. And still the prince or whatever continued to talk! Didn't he know Obi-Wan was dead? Didn't he know-

"We used to capitalize both the 'f' in Force and the 't' at the beginning of 'the' as in 'The Force.' " He laughed.

_Anakin! _Was that Obi's dying scream? No. It had been much worse: _Annie, come back to the-_ And then he was engulfed. Anakin's stomach twisted, writhed. He tried to throw up.

"He's choking!" Majesty cried. "Help me turn him!"

He was moved and as he ripped the healing skin around his mouth to scream, as he began to puke, he passed out.

oOo

Nemalia. That was the name Obi-Wan gave to the little daughter he'd lost to the battle on Mustafa. He had no body to bury, and his heart was so sore that he was almost glad she was dead, safely out of this world.

He lay in a medically-induced semiconscious state in the small medical center where Padme had died and the twins were born. The unconscious, defenseless state was ordered by the droid doctors and though he wanted to be looking for Anakin, he gave in because he could barely stand. Losing Nemalia had been hard on his body. He continued to bleed, internally and intermittently, for three days and after the bleeding at last stopped, he was weak and exhausted. The Force did not leave him; the doctors, droids though they were, said that something beyond their medical knowledge had kept him from succumbing to a hundred different infections in the midst of his terrible weakness.

When he came out of the medically-induced almost-coma, he fell into meditation and so made the discovery that the doctors had seen fit to keep from him: he was carrying a second child. For a moment, he thought perhaps he hadn't lost Nemalia and this idea filled him with a mix of joy and dread. But then, meditating halfway through the second week at the medical center, he realized there was still a hole at the center of his being where Nemalia had been. This was another.

This, too, was a girl, and he wasn't sure if he could bring himself to name her. She was Anakin's, and that was beautiful and precious, but she was also born in a bad time and he feared for her. That fear aside, he knew he must tend Luke soon and find a place for Leia. How could he bring a baby with him as he watched over Luke? He might barely have enough to sustain himself. And he couldn't imagine giving away his child. He supposed, in the depth of his meditating, that if the Force called on him to give up his child he would, but he grieved to lose her.

That made up his mind. He came out of deep and almost continual meditation at the end of the second week with one purpose at least fully realized.

When he opened his eyes and consciously looked at the room around him, he found it utilitarian and cold. There were no gentle hues on the walls, only grey metal. There was no carpet on the floor, only the blanket someone had put down so he could meditate. There was the bed, a narrow, square-ish and low thing that promised no softness. And hanging on one wall, ready for him when he regained his strength, was his lightsaber and his cleaned and mended Jedi robes.

He glanced down at himself and saw that he wore only a larg blanket around his shoulders and a small medical scanner that would keep track of his vitals every moment. He considered the bruising along his abdomen and the still-swollen state of his genitals and nodded. He was stiff, and his mind ached more than his body, but he would be able to go on with the help of the Force.

He thought of Anakin, but after wishing his lover well, put him out of his mind and rested his fingers lightly against his stomach. He listened, inside and outside himself.

Yes, the babe still lived. Impossible to tell yet what age the babe might be, but she still lived.

What was it Ni had said? That he wouldn't have any children that lived while he remained a Jedi? It was surely too early to dispute that, but hope still leapt in his heart, dispelled all the fear that had made him glad Nemalia had died.

From that moment on, he called his living child Leighna. It meant, in the language of the Fregalans, 'Light.'

He sensed someone approaching his tiny room and wrapped the blanket around himself. He didn't rise from the floor.

It was Woda, bouncing in like a crazy bean. "Hi!" He didn't leap into Obi-Wan's arms, but settled beside him on the floor, touching his leg. "How d'you feel?"

"Much more rested. And you?" He spoke gently, knowing that there had been way too much death in Woda's short life.

The youngling looked down at his hands. "Daddy can't feel the Force anymore. It's been taken from him completely. All his medichlorians are gone."

_Mace?_ His heart tightened at the thought of one so connected to the Force losing that connection. "It might return."

"Maybe, but Papa says not to hold out for false hope. Daddy's still good: he's training with blasters now, relearning, Papa says, and he seems content." Woda shivered and snuggled closer. "I can't imagine…"

Obi-Wan made a little nest of the blanket on his lap and drew the youngling there. "I know. It's sometimes for our protection and it's sometimes for a reason we can't understand, but there is peace in this: all will be set right." He hugged Woda close and even kissed the top of his blue head. "How are _you_ holding up?"

"I can still hear the Force, but it's so _dark_ everywhere," Woda moaned plaintively. "I tried to find Anakin in the Force and I couldn't, but I didn't feel him die." He shook his head. "Maybe I can't feel his death because he died too long ago."

"I haven't felt his death either, young one. Has Yoda?"

"No, but…"

"But what?"

"I'm afraid for him. I know he was really angry and then I couldn't feel him anymore. What if he was absorbed into the Dark Side?" His whole body shook with the terror of this idea.

"We would still be able to feel him, even if at a remove. No, I think Anakin's being hidden in the Force- the whole Force- and he's resting. He was badly hurt on Mustafa, but I think he's healing now." He turned Woda in his arms and even lifted him so they were face-to-face. "Listen to your parents, Woda: have faith. Anakin is the Chosen One. He's meant to bring balance to the Force. Let him heal right now; he'll be back soon."

Woda considered that, and then nodded. "Okay," He jumped from Obi-Wan's arms and hugged him around the neck. "You're really wise. I guess that's why they made you a master, huh?"

Obi-Wan smiled, but it was a small thing for he was thinking of all the other masters who hadn't made it.

oOo

Annie woke in a body that could both feel and not feel everything. She was aware that she'd passed out sometime during the surgery that she'd been told she must stay awake for. It hadn't seemed to make a difference in the end if she was awake or not and she was so glad to be free of the mind-ripping pain that she was tempted to kill the doctors who had ordered her to stay awake.

She heard her breathing, knew it wasn't really hers but the breathing of the machine in which she now lived, and groaned.

"Darth Vader. Can you hear me?"

It was Sidious's voice. Sidious, who had come to rescue her after Obi-Wan had almost killed her and had surely left her for dead. Sidious had rescued her. Safe in the knowledge that her shields were fully up and that no one could hear her, she cursed the galaxy for letting her be indebted, for even a while, to her master. In a voice that sounded… male? Ugh…. she answered, "Yes, Master" and sat up.

It didn't hurt to sit up, and that was good. And it didn't hurt to breathe, which was better. And, _yes,_ she could feel the Force flowing through her in dark and glorious waves. Maybeshe wouldn't be indebted to her master for that long.

They were on a huge ship; she could feel it rumbling under her feet like a snoring metal beast and loved the power it promised. Then, remembering how Grievous had let another huge ship be destroyed by two Jedi- one of them unconscious- she knew she had a little more to learn while under Sidious's tutelage. She didn't know how to take care of ships, how to protect them, and that meant she was vulnerable.

She would learn, though. She would go back to the Jedi Temple, get what she needed there, and then she would at last be ready to dispose of Sidious.

"There is one thing we must do before all else," Sidious said.

She turned her gaze to him and said, "Of course, Master." Complete obedience was the only way to go now.

"Yoda, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi may still be alive. We must know that they are dead."

"Yes, Master." That she could understand. And though she was certain Skywalker was dead and that Yoda soon would be, since he'd lost his love (and she knew from losing Reeft how much that hurt), she thought Obi-Wan might still be alive, and she did need to check on the others, just to be sure. "I will go now, Master."

He smiled, a gallows and cracked thing. "I knew your spirit would not be burned, my apprentice. Go and if you find them, luxuriate in their blood."

"Yes, Master." She could not nod; the suit seemed to preclude that. She wondered if it would impede her movements and resolved to try everything out while she was fulfilling her mission.

oOo

Anakin woke several days later and this time his mind tossed up thoughts like a string of islands seen from above.

He knew that 'Majesty' was a title, and he was so close to knowing the man's name that his stomach churned. He knew, also, that he wasn't quite cut off from the Force; he could still sense it immediately around him and most definitely within him.

He knew, too, that if Obi-Wan wasn't dead, he had been badly, badly injured and that he might be dying now.

He was more aware of the world around him: smells and touch. He was in a room that wasn't used for healing on a regular basis. (He thought he remembered hearing that he was in a hidden room, but he couldn't be sure.) He was also tended by own two men. These weren't there often together, but came separately throughout the day, changing his bandages- he was covered with bandages- and making sure the sheets under him were clean. He could smell himself as well as the general disuse of this room, and he stank of charred and healing flesh, and of body functions over which he'd had no control.

He became conscious of the fact that he might be able to talk when the one he'd called Majesty talked about the trees.

"They're still blooming," he said softly. "They grow and grow, so much life to live, and I wish I could walk there. More." He laughed. "Sometimes, Jedi, I wish that Qui-Gon and Oie-Wan left something powerful among the B'yrch trees that I could use to restore and refresh my people. We have not been targeted yet, but surely we will be." He sighed. "There is no such strength the two Jedi could have left, so I wish they were both here. But Qui-Gon has been dead these many years and there's no word of Oie-Wan as there is no word of any Jedi."

B'yrch trees… Anakin remembered a bench. Qui-Gon was crouched before it, speaking about blinking not being enough, that when the time came for his questions to be answered, he needed a verbal response.

_Can you do that, Obi-Wan?_

Those weren't quite the right words, but… but he remembered the name of this place. It was…

"Fregala," he croaked.

The Majesty jumped.

"Yeneluk," Anakin said. "Prince Yeneluk."

"Yes! Yes, Jedi! Yes, Oie-Wan's love!" The man laughed. "You're awake! Ah, your Force be praised! We weren't sure you'd live." He became very still then. "Is there news of Oie-Wan?"

His throat burned and the area around his mouth screamed because he'd torn the skin there. "I don't know. How long have I been here?"

"Almost eight of your weeks." Yeneluk sounded depressed. "You're safe here, Jedi. We will make sure you are kept safe until you're healed."

"Where is my lightsaber?"

"You had no weapon on you when you arrived here."

So, he'd have to get another lightsaber. That was all right. Until the Force came back, he didn't really need one.

He knew he should ask about the state of the galaxy, but he was so tired… "Thank you. Obi-Wan told me how generous you are." He was sinking back into blackness, but that was all right. He was safe here. He would be allowed to recover a little.

_Please, Obi, be alive when I finally get my strength. And I hope the Force comes back soon._

oOo

Obi-Wan blocked the dozen projectiles Woda threw at him, using both his lightsaber and the Force. His legs supported him without protest and his body, as a whole, was on its way to full healing.

Woda grinned. "More?" he asked, scooping up some more bits of metal.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I think it's time that I go to Yoda for permission to look for Anakin. He's alive, though I'm not sure of the state of his Force-connection, and maybe he can be prevailed upon to take one of the twins."

"You're going to let him take one while you take the other?"

"The twins have to be split up." Obi-Wan settled into a meditative position and smiled a little when Woda joined him. "You're looking at me like you want to say something."

Woda's blue eyes flashed like balls of lightning. "Can I go with you to find Anakin? And maybe I can help Anakin guard one of the babies. And maybe, once the baby's big enough, I can figure out what I'm supposed to be doing now that the Jedi are gone." His eyes dimmed for a moment, but then he bounced back with the determined resiliency of youth. "I think I can still do a lot of good for the galaxy if I can just figure out what I'm supposed to do."

"I'm sure you'll do something great," Obi-Wan answered. "But you can't come with me, Woda. I wouldn't take you into danger. You're still a youngling, intelligent and strong in the Force as you are."

"Papa will let me go." Woda made a face that was so like Yoda's that Obi-Wan had to smother the desire to laugh. "He knows that if I can help in the name of the Force, I should."

It was an argument that couldn't be contradicted so Obi-Wan skirted it. "I'm not meant to take you."

"Did the Force tell you?"

"No."

"Then how-?" But Woda stopped and nodded. "Are you sure?" He tried to look verfy adult and calm.

Obi-Wan's heart went out to the youngling and he said kindly, "Yes, but when I come back, maybe I'll be able to take you with me. I think you're going to be out on your own long before most younglings because you're intelligent."

"And because the Darkness has risen and I'll need to help in any way I can." Woda scooted closer. "But I'm not meant to be a Jedi, even one in a galaxy where the Jedi don't exist as an Order. I think I'm meant ot be something different, like a space pirate who does good, or something."

Obi-Wan smiled, but his voice was serious. He didn't want Woda to think he was deriding him. "I think you would be a great space pirate. MaybeI'll ask you to carry some contraband for me one day." He touched Woda's hand gently. "I'll be on Tatooine with your nephew some day soon. Will you come by occasionally and trade us whatever we need?"

"Are you going to trade sand?" Woda grinned. "I'll give you whatever you need." He paused. "Will you find Anakin?"

Obi-Wan saw in the yougnling's face that he wanted reassurance even though he knew he couldn't really get it. He deserved honesty. He deserved gentleness. "If I can."

Woda stood. "When will you go looking?"

Obi-Wan thought of the child he carried. He was afraid for the life inside him, but he put that fear aside. He needed to follow the Force. He gave his son's or daughter's life over. "Very soon."

"Is he stuck in the Dark Force?"

Again, it was time for honesty and now there was little room for gentleness. "I don't know. I pray he's learned enough to stay away from the Dark Side."

"Why is it so hard for him? Why does he keep going back and back?"

He'd asked that question himself a time or two and come to this conclusion: "We are each tempted by the Dark Side, each strong Jedi lured towards his or her destruction." He didn't tell Woda how he himself had been tempted; if the youngling didn't know- which he doubted- giving him the information wouldn't edify his spirit.

"What's my temptation?"

"You've already gone through some temptations, Don't look for them; they'll come to you." He rose. "I should speak to Yoda now." He crouched, meeting Woda's eyes as he wouldn't again for over a dozen years. "Will you stay in the light, Woda, son of Yoda and Mace?"

Woda got up and bowed. "I promise, Master Obi-Wan." Then he broke his perfect Jedi posture by rushing forward to be scooped up in Obi-Wan's arms. He hugged the master around the neck. "Force with you."

Obi-Wan kissed the top of his bald, blue head. "And with you." He set Woda down and went from the small room where he'd spent two weeks.

The medical center was silent around him, more like a tomb than a oplace of healing, and he instantly put that thought out of his head. Everyone must have been kept away so that the twins could be protected for as long as possible. On the other hand, keeping people away would surely raise suspicions soon. He wondered isuddenly who was taking care of the babies the Force had brought forth through Anakin and Padme. He prayed they weren't being watched over by droids alone.

Maybe he was meant to watch over them both instead of going after Anakin. The moment this thought occurred to him, he pushed it away. He might not be meant to go after Anakin, but he was surely not meant to tend the twins because that was what he'd always wanted: a chance to raise children that were his, and with Padme dead and Anakin gone, they were almost his.

He went to find Yoda.

oOo

Anakin gained more physical strength, but slowly. His periods of waking became longer and he noticed things. Prince Yeneluk was thin and drawn, exhausted. He was also a practical man. He'd been stockpiling supplies in the little room where Anakin healed, not for himself, just for Anakin. When he learned Anakin's name, he was pleased because here was a Jedi he'd heard of and he listened avidly to any and all stories Anakin could tell about Obi-Wan. Anakin only told him uplifting stories, wishing that he could do so much more.

It was the end of the third month when he began to take unsupported steps around the room. His connection to the Force hadn't come back, but he sensed that he was being hidden, not cut off. Besides, the burning made him think differently.

He'd never considered himself a preening peacock, but now he knew he'd taken his very good looks for granted. He'd used them often on missions to gain thecooperation of leaders, both men and women. It wasn't that he'd hit on all- or any- of them, but he knew he looked like a prince out of many stereotypical fairy tales, a good, kind and sweet prince, and he'd used that to his advantage. Had Obi once said he'd be good at diplomany? Well, he'd been right, but Anakin had played more on visual cues than he really ever wanted Obi to know.

Now he wasn't anyone's idea of handsome. Most of his hair- that luxuriant mop of tousled sensuality that he'd never let stay dirty or even tangled for longer than necessary- had been burned off. His scalp was covered in angry patches of rioting skin that itched and pulled and drove him to distraction when he wasn't carefully keeping his mind on other things. He'd scratched his head more than once in his sleep and opened the way for fresh infections. He'd started wrapping his hands in bands of cloth once he realized what he was doing and when and Prince Yeneluk hadn't asked for an explanation.

He wasn't sleeping well, partially because he was sleeping, on and off, all day, every day, but his body needed most of that sleep. It was mostly the nightmares that made sleep impossible. Not all of them were about his beautiful Obi's death, though that was a common theme. No, the nightmares that really got him shaking and huddling into himself when he first woke were those about endless darkness. He'd be able to feel the darkness and Darkness on his skin like ice, or even like hundreds of thorns. He was suffocated by both kinds of darkness and he'd wake up fearing that his waking world would be just like the dreaming one.

And sometimes, in those few moments between shaking himself out of the dream and coming completely awake, he'd be sure that _everything_ had become darkness.

He dreamed of Annie Jinn-Kenobi seldom, but those dreams drove him to screams. Not of terror, but rage. And the rage terrified him. He was almost sure she was dead, but that didn't matter. He wanted to kill her all over again, drenching his hands in her blood and painting her dead face with it. Even in his deepest hatred of Xanatos, he'd never wished that. And so he fled to meditation that was like no meditation any Jedi had ever undertaken.

Most of the meditations went like this, and he sensed a long-ago, long-known pattern. Comforting in its own way even as it was frustrating. The pattern was: work, eat, work, eat, play, work, eat, play, rest. The first time he fled to meditation, he didn't recognize the pattern his mind had set up, but soon he knew it as the protections Obi-Wan had first put around his protected files back at Temple and, more importantly, the pattern he'd liked with Obi-Wan for years.

The work, each time it came around, consisted of him repeating little youngling mantras that he'd tried to use to establish a calm mind. They'd never really worked for him when he was younger and they didn't work for him now, but he kept at them because he didn't know what else to do.

Eating was getting little flickers of calmness, or flashes of no pain when he was absorbed in his own thoughts. These seemed completely separate from the periods of work so he didn't connect them.

As for play, that was what he called his wandering mind. He'd go into meditation for whatever reason, usually to escape pain, and he'd start thinking about the last time he and Obi had made love, or the first, or any of the too-few glorious middle times when they strained together, needing to come quickly because time was running swiftly behind them. He came out of these little play-times embarrassed and strangely tired, as if he'd been trying to either fight or engage fully in the play the whole time without being aware of it.

The resting times were too brief, but in them he almost felt the Force. In them he almost felt Obi-Wan's life-force. In them he almost forgot his desire to rip out Annie's throat with his teeth.

oOo

He caught a germ of some kind that put him back another week, but as he lay, mostly in a delirium, he was made to confront Annie.

They fought- in his mind- a dozen times or more. He didn't remember any of these battles when he woke. What he remembered was finding her in a pit.

The dream began like most of the others: he could hear Obi calling his name and so he ran, seeking his lover in the darkness of a cave or some other endless night. This time, it turned out to be the darkness of a dead forest.

The tress grew so close together that it was a wonder anyone had hewn a path through the forest's midst, but there was a path and he foolowed it. Above him, where there cshould have been the rustling the rustling of leaves, there was only the creaking and cracking and splintering of dead branches that were never meant to hold the number of spectators that had come to watch him fail.

The sun was blotted out by the press of bodies. He glanced up once, wanting to see what blocked the light, and saw Gareth staring down at him. The master's face was gone, but he knew it was Gareth because the man's remaining arm was wrapped around Arnen's shoulders. Arnen hadn't been killed by a lightsaber or blaster; he seemed to have died of something invisible, or at least concealed by the way he leaned around Gareth's shoulder. His head was bent and he seemed to be staring at his boots like he'd never seen such tings before. One of his fair hands lay on Gareth's leg; it was painted with a bloody smiley face.

After that, Anakin didn't look up to see who else had been brought back from the dead to haunt him. He focused exclusively on this thought: his Obi had called for him and though his Obi was now silent, he must still be alive. The Force wouldn't be so cruel as to kill him now. And if his death served the Force, the galaxy couldn't be so cruel as to take his Obi away after all they'd suffered together.

So he hurtled himself down the narrow path, sometimes scraping his arms on the trees, sometimes getting twigs caught in his hair as the trees fought to slow his progress, but still going on. He would reach Obi, would find him not only still alive but strong, and all would be well.

He threw himself at last into a clearing where tress had been uprooted and thrown aside. In the tangles of demolished and twisted wood, he saw Mace. The man's sightless eyes accused him. He might be alive now if Anakin hadn't been so exclusively focused on Obi's death.

Anakin turned away, and there was Yoda, also dead, though more gracefully. He was cradled between two limbs, his hands on his chest, his eyes open and staring into the Force that took and dissipated his spirit.

But that was only an illusion. As Anakin took a step closer, he realized someone had painted a log to look like Yoda and that his real papa lay beyond this log, body twisted and strangely diminished. He huddled over Woda, trying to protect him from something in his final moments, but Woda, too, was dead.

"Beloved, get out before she comes back."

He spun on unsteady legs and saw Obi in the very center of the clearing though he hadn't been there a moment ago. His lover leaned on a staff of twisted thorns and his head was bowed. His complexion was like pale wood ash and-

And he was dead. His eyes were gone and as a breeze shifted his robes, Anakin saw that there was a hole, the size of three fists, in the middle of his chest. He was dead and still somehow able to walk.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Beloved, I'm dead. You need to leave this place or you will die here, too. You can't die here. You're needed." His lips quirked in a ghost of the old smile Anakin had always loved. "You're the Chosen One."

"I've enjoyed killing Jedi," she said. "But killing him was the absolute _best_."

He turned, his limbs weighed down by tons of water. Annie was standing there, as he'd known she'd be, and she was smiling, looking not like Obi-Wan now (except those beautiful eyes) but like a blessed angel. Her auburn hair, sun-kissed and gently curled at the ends, flowed about her shoulders. She wore not a Jedi robe, not a Sith robe, but a white robe, again like that angel, and her hands were empty. There was no lightsaber attached to the low-slung belt she wore.

"You can't kill me, Anakin. No one can. They've all tried, all the ones you see here. I've killed each and every one and if you try, I'll kill you, too." She chuckled. "I know that's probably what you want now that _he's_ gone, and I guess I'll be nice enough to oblige you once."

"You're not even armed," he croaked, his throat closing because now he could smell Obi-Wan's decomposing body. He blinked hard as tears- Force help him, they were tears of disgust- blurred his vision.

"I have the Force. That's all a real Sith needs." She waved her hand and Obi-Wan cried out.

Anakin tried to turn, maybe to catch his lover if that was what was required, but he could barely turn his head.

_Do or do not do. There is no try._

Annie chuckled again. "He's trying not to leave you. He's dead but he's fighting the Force. For the first time in his life, he's really fighting the Force. And he's losing. Do you-?"

"Do…" Obi-Wan gasped. "Or do not do. There is no try."

Annie laughed louder, wrapping her arms around herself in an effort to contain the hilarity. "He's fighting _so_ _hard_ all to be with you. Doesn't he understand-?"

"Find me or don't," Obi-Wan said. "There's no middle ground, Anakin."

"Fight the Darkness," Yoda said, sitting up, his face half-gone but his words perfectly clear. "Or do not fight. There is no halfway battle."

"I'm trapped in a bed," Anakin told them both, ignoring Annie, who was laughing still, but whose eyes had narrowed. "I can't fight anything right now."

"You are in the midst of a battle," Qui-Gon said.

"Wake up and smell the rooshes!" Woda said.

"Lose your anger or embrace it," his beautiful Obi whispered. "And if you embrace it, we'll never-"

"He's already dead," Annie said. "I killed him. In the real world? Outside this dream? I threw him and his children to their deaths."

He was surely meant to lose his mind right then, but she'd said _children_. "He was only carrying one."

"No." She laughed. "It's very rare among the men of Namala, but he was carrying twins. One died on the bridge and the other-"

Everything froze then, like a photograph instead of a movie. Anakin found himself able to move and when he heard approaching footsteps, he turned that way quite effortlessly. Obi-Wan- burned, yes, but very much alive- strode down the path he'd taken only a minute before. Anakin tried to speak, but Obi held up a mostly-healthy hand.

"One died on the bridge and the other still lives. As do I. Anakin, stop this self-destruction. You want to kill her. Stop letting your mind hide that fact from your heart with cheap horror images and 'reasons' to betray the Jedi way." He stopped a dozen paces from Anakin and still held out that stopping-hand. "We won't be together until you accept that anger is a path-"

Annie burst free of her frozen state and rushed them both. She killed Obi-Wan with a stroke of the bloodied lightsaber that had appeared in her hand and as he fell, Anakin heard a song that was cold in its simplicity: the Darkness has won/the Darkness has won this day/join it and be avenged/or perish.

Killing Annie would end the hold the Sith had over the galaxy. Killing Annie would bring Obi back to life. Killing Annie would save at least one of their children, maybe even both, just like killing her would ensure that Padme lived to raise the twins she'd been meant to bear.

Killing Annie would relieve all his anger. He didn't need to release any emotions into a Force that had abandoned him and that had never cared for how he felt, anyway. He would lose all his anger when she was dead.

Anakin threw himself at her, not bothering to draw his lightsaber. He would rip her eyes out so that she would look less like his Obi and then he would kill her. She would die, screaming, and he would be free to find his lover, take him away from all the danger in the galaxy, and raise their children together on a tiny world where no one would bother them ever again. Obi would be so grateful he'd…

oOo

He woke from that meditation ready to kill any and all who stood in his path.

"Anakin?"

He looked up, realizing that he'd been trying

(_there is no try_)

to burn holes in the floor with the fury of his gaze. Prince Yeneluk was gazing at him sorrowfully from across the room and he struggled to make himself calm. He seized upon the only good and certain thing he'd taken from the violent meditation: "Obi-Wan is alive."

The prince's eyes cleared, but only a little. "Good," he murmured. "Good. If only he were here to help us."

Anakin staggered to his feet, catching himself on a handy wall. His legs- particularly his left- were twisted and burned sticks, and his arms and hands weren't much better, but he would make it work out. "I have to go to him. He's hurt worse than I am and…" He couldn't think of any more excuses, so he simply met Prince Yeneluk's gaze. "I need a ship, please."

The prince's preoccupation was almost insulting. "Yes, yes. I'll get you a ship. But you need to hurry. And still I won't be able to guarantee that you'll make it out alive." He gestured towards a long and concealing poncho like the one Qui-Gon had worn all those years ago when he'd changed Anakin's life on Tatooine. "Dress and I'll see to the ship." He turned for the door, but then glanced back. "You're not what I expected. I thought Obi-Wan would at last find someone worthy of him." And he was gone.

"What the fuck do you know?" Anakin whispered because it hurt too much to shout. "I'm going to kill Annie and then I'm going to take Obi to a place where it can be just us and our children and the world- all the worlds- will leave us alone.

oOo

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and did not dry the tears on his cheeks. He met Yoda's gaze across the small room. He should have been meditating on the answer to the question both Jedi had posed to the Force and to their own hearts. Instead, he'd been thrown into one of Anakin's nightmares. He had done all he could for his lover and he cried for that truth.

"I know where I belong," he said after a moment of silence. "If I go looking for Anakin, I'll either tip off the Dark Force as to my continued existence or his."

"Or you will find him too soon." Mace sat off to one side, not connecting to the Force still but finding peace within all he knew to be true. "He's on a path he can only travel by himself." He folded his hands and met Obi-Wan's gaze. "I saw a connection between you, Palpatine and Anakin. Palpatine has gone one way, so far as he can go. You've gone the other, as far as you can, by committing yourself wholly to the Force in spite of what you may or may not want. Anakin will go one way or the other. He's come to the end of the line he's been walking. Mostly he's been on the Light side of that line, but he's been nearer that line than any of us wanted to think."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Then there's the answer to our question, at least for now: I'm not meant to go after him." This was the most recent injury in a line of them and he closed his eyes for a moment. "I'll ask just one thing before I take Luke to his family and watch him there: I need time to grieve. Not long- I won't-"

"No." Yoda shook his head. "Your place on Tatooine is. Grieve there you can. Lose your way in Darkness you will not. Guard Luke you must."

"Senator Organa has already offered to take Leia," Mace said, and he stood. "Obi-Wan, we've risked too much staying here this long. We're for Dagobah and you'll go to Tatooine."

As he had been honest with Woda, Mace and Yoda were being honest with him and he felt like a child again. He stood and bowed. "Yes, Master."

Yoda gestured for him to come close and he did, kneeling.

"Obi-Wan," Yoda said, and for a moment he only gazed up at the younger Jedi master with his yellow eyes. He took the younger man's right hand in both of his. Silence cradled them for a moment, separating them from all the sorrow and hurt and danger. When Yoda spoke, his voice was soft. "My son, you will make a great guardian for Luke Skywalker. Alone you will not be. Training I have for you on Tatooine."

"Training?" He was conscious not of disbelief but great and lasting exhaustion.

"One who has returned from the netherworld of the Force. Your old master."

And lover. And friend. "Qui-Gon?" He was overcome by a memory then that was so intense it was like an aural ghost: _Obi mine…Secret of the Whills…I want to teach you the secret of the Whills…_He collected himself, setting the memory aside. "Yes, Master. I will leave as soon as everything can be made ready."

oOo

Anakin was more than ready to leave Fregala. He was escorted by the prince and his minister, Thopek, to a small ship that had no weapons and only minimal shields. "What is this?" he demanded. "I thought you were committed to serving the Jedi. This is a flying death trap!"

"We have no other ships to spare," Thopek said, grimacing.

"You are not worthy of him," Prince Yeneluk said again. He turned from Anakin. "Take the ship or leave it, but I have no more time for you. War has come to my people."

Anakin stared at him as he walked away, but when the minister turned to follow, tossing Anakin a satisfied smile over his shoulder, Anakin jumped into the ship and took off. If they didn't want to help him,, he could just find his own way to revenge. Did they think they'd stop him if they offered him less-than-perfect tools? Ha! He was so much better than that. He'd never be stopped as long as he had a ship- no matter what kind of ship- to fly. He'd always get what he wanted. No one could stop him.

_You are not worthy of him._

Not worthy of Obi-Wan? Fuck that. If there was anyone who wasn't worthy, it was the prince who had broken his vows, or the minister, who hoped Anakin failed, or even Obi-Wan, who had let Annie kill one of their babies.

Nto that he didn't love Obi. Of course he did. Obi was the center of his universe.

_Like the Force should be._

Yeah, the Force that had deserted him so he could feel no more than a non-Force-sensitive. Ugh. That wasn't the path of the Chosen One. It couldn't be. It wasn't meant to be. And when he killed Annie, he'd be strong again, be in charge of all the power he'd had before and more. He'd be able to stop anything, save anything. He'd be able-

_Give it over to the Force, Beloved. You _have_ to or all will be lost._

"You're not Obi-Wan," he muttered as he cleared the atmosphere, unaware of ships massing the planet's orbit, unaware that he was fleeing an invasion. He leapt into hyperspace and was gone.

oOo

He landed on Coruscant fourteen hours later. His injuries had caught up with him, but not as much as he'd feared. Even without the Force, he could apparently take care of himself. That was good to know. He would lick this thing without the Force, then get the Force back and use it as he chose.

He landed in a little-used platform that stood just inside the Orange District. It was full night when he landed and that was just how he wanted it. He wasn't quite sure why he was at Coruscant except that Obi might be here and that was enough. Well, almost. He also thought Annie, who had surely survived Mustafa, was here, too. He shouldn't be able to sense anything with the Force standing at arm's length, but his lack questioning was another sign of his self-absorbsion and so he didn't notice it.

The platform was completely deserted: crates sat here and there, but these had the look of things that had been abandoned, either in the midst of flight or because they weren't crates at all but boxes that concealed secret cameras or tiny arsenals. Anakin ignored them and jogged towards the nearest street. He needed to get going. Every moment he delayed Annie might be gaining power, might be torturing Obi-Wan

(_he's already dead_)

Or his lover might just be waiting for him. When he reached the nearest street and slipped into the concealing shadows, he turned back to glance at the ship. It might not be here when he returned, but still he turned, mentally checking to make sure he'd taken the few things the Fregalans had given him.

The ship sat in a dim, clear place, undisturbed. He turned and dashed down the street.

Fifty steps in, he had to slow his pace. Without the Force, he had to go more slowly or risk running into something that could rip out of his eyes or at least bark his shins. Grumbling, he modified his pace in deference to his loss but still he wasn't worried about being jumped or tracked. No one knew he was here. The Dark Force thought it had won. Of course he wouldn't have to worry about being followed.

It had been years since he was so wrong.

oOo

Obi-Wan lifted the little girl into his arms. The Force sang around her like a sympony and he smiled. She was so beautiful, just like her brother. They were definitely Padme's babies: he could see that in their eyes and, strangely, in the way they moved, as if, even as month-old babes, they were possessed of her grace.

They were Anakin's children, too, but you had to look deeper to see that connection. That was good. Most people would miss it, giving the twins more of a chance.

And, of course, they would have more of a chance if they were split up. But as he rocked Leia, he wished he could take both of them to Tatooine, that he could raise them there. They were Anakin's and Padme's legacy, no matter that Anakin was still alive. They were the result of both Jedi and Senator complying with the will of the Force. No matter what else had happened in their lives, they had produced these tiny miracles.

He thought, too, of all the dreams he, Anakin and Padme had shared about these moments: the birthing of the twins and their being split up afterwards. None of the dreams had prepared them for this and he was once again back to wondering if dreams were ever worth much of anything.

He kissed Leia and smiled when she smiled. "You'll be safe, youngling," he murmured, kissing her again. "You and your brother will both be safe. If it's the will of the Force, you'll meet him again and both of you will live to see a better day."

Senator Organa appeared and Obi-Wan passed Leia into his arms. "She'll be in very good hands, Master Kenobi. I promise."

"I know. Thank you." He touched Leia's forehead again, this time with just the tips of his fingers. "She-"

Inside him, Leighna jumped.

"Master Kenobi? Are you all right?" Senator Organa's eyes were lit with concern.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. She'll be happy and well with you," he said. "May the Force be with you." It was strange to speak those words to a non-Jedi, but he meant them as much for the child as for the man who carried her.

Senator Organa seemed to know. He held Leia out to Ob-Wan for a final kiss. "And with you."

oOo

A solitary traveler is ideal prey at the best of times. The Republic had seen centuries of good times and still petty thievery had gone on with the regularity of the sun's rising and setting. Now that the Republic had fallen and there was more confusion and terror in the air than had plagued Coruscant in a long time, thieves took advantage.

Anakin was saved from dying from the first two of these because they were freshly-turned thieves, men who had lost their jobs when the Republic fell and had turned to thieving to feed their families. They were inept, they were still half-kind, and they weren't any match for a quick-moving Jedi, even one who had lost the path.

The first incident happened this way, and later Anakin would tell someone of it with more humor than rage:

He was strolling- casual, looking everywhere, quietly going insane with rage- along a narrow street in the Orange District. The arc sodiums over his head glowed orange in the darkness. Little bugs swarmed around many of these and he grimaced at the messes made as some of these were fried. He'd been off the ship for less than twenty minutes. He had no direction, but that seemed all right. He'd always known where he was supposed to go. When it was time, he'd know again.

"Hey, buddy, got any change?"

It was the classic call of one being approaching another and Anakin turned with nothing on his mind but getting this man to go away as soon as possible. He found himself standing at knife-point. "What do you think you're going to do?" He laughed. "I'm no one you want to mess with, _buddy_." It crossed his mind to say he was a Jedi, but for now, he wasn't that far gone.

The man holding the knife- the other held nothing but looked strong- said, "We just want some money. Give it to us and you're free to go."

Anakin sneered. Between his charred hair and his disfigured face, he knew no one would recognize him, so there was no chance of what he was about to do getting back to Obi. He didn't draw his lightsaber, either, but beckoned to them with the tips of his fingers. "Come on, then. If you think you can fight me, do it, because you won't get any money from me."

The man with the knife hesitated but the other leapt at him.

Anakin tried to intercept the first blow, but misjudged the distance and was clouted upside the head with enough force to make his ears ring. He staggered, almost fell, caught his balance, and stared at the men as he blinked away secretive, creeping darkness.

The man had leapt at him had stopped, shocked, and then he came at Anakin again.

Anakin waited this time, just a little, and when the man tried to hit him again, he seized his wrist, dragged him close and shoved him to the ground. He tried to use the Force, but it eluded him like a quick and frightened frog.

He turned as the man fell and charged the one with the knife. This man dropped his weapon and cried out, "I have a wife and children! Please!"

He might have killed the man, but his rage wasn't completely ascendant and so he ran past the man and kept going.

oOo

Obi-Wan took Luke in his arms. "You're coming with me and all will be well."

He was standing before the small ship, listening to the stillness of the medical center. Yoda, Mace and Woda were gone. Senator Organa was gone. He alone was left. Well, he and Luke. And Leighna. She hadn't stirred again as she had when he was talking to Senator Organa for the last time, but she was definitely alive. He could, when he focused inward, feel her life in the Force. She was Force-sensitive; he was almost sure of it.

He stepped towards the cockpit, and stopped again. He had given Senator Organa more than enough time to get away; that wasn't why he waited. He waited because Woda had spoken to im before he left and the what the youngling said chimed in his mind like a living bell: _She's going to be beautiful, Master Obi. She's going to be the most beautiful girl in the whole galaxy. She's going to be strong in the Force and she's going to save lots of lives, but not as a fighter. She'll get to be what you always wanted to be._

_What's that, Woda? _he'd asked.

_A healer._

"We can always use more healers," Obi-Wan murmured as he entered the ship at last. As the cockpit closed above him, he wished well for all those who knew the secret of the twins.

oOo

It was two days later that Anakin gave up looking for Obi-Wan on Coruscant. There'd been no change in his connection to the Force, and there'd been nothing to say that Obi-Wan was on Coruscant or not. Directionless. That was how he felt, but for the time being, it only fueled his anger.

He went back to his ship and there was no damage. He wondered at this tiny miracle but it didn't occur to him that others had been watching out for the ship. He never found out that Dido and his daughter, Astrid, had been drawn to the ship and they'd watched over it, not knowing it belonged to a Jedi, just knowing they were meant to watch it.

He left Coruscant for Dagobah, following the Force even though he didn't know that's what he was doing. And the Force also brought him a dream.

He slept on the ship, unable to keep his eyes open. He assumed he was still healing and so let himself sleep. He dreamt of the destruction of Fregala.

At first, he was outside everything, watching as Fregalans ran for their lives from legions of clone troopers. Many of them were shot as they ran, but not all of them; there needed to be people left alive to do the bidding of whoever was destroying the planet.

Anakin was untouched by these things. They were common, everyday horrors, nothing to get upset about. People died every day. That was the reality of war. And now that the Jedi were gone, there would only be more death.

He was forcibly dragged closer. Not just near enough to see the blood fly, but he was drawn into someone's body. He felt the confinement as his better-then-six-feet body was crammed into a five-something Fregalan. He blinked, dazed, wondering what sort of dream this was, and then he heard a mental voice that invaded his thoughts.

_There are too many of them and nowhere for my people to hide. I've tried simply saying we'll give up, but they can't be stopped. They're enjoying killing us._

Anakin struggled to escape but he was pinned in. His eyes- the eyes of PrinceYeneluk- turned towards the burning remains of a building. It was, Yeneluk knew, and Anakin realized, the center where Oie-Wan had been treated when he was so badly poisoned all those years ago. There weren't any more people running out of the building but the prince's heart was heavy with the truth: no one was running out because they had been locked inside, there to die.

Anakin winced and tried to turn away. He had no more control over his movements than a day-old child. Horror had begun to claw its way through his mind and though he tried to dismiss what he saw as 'things that happen in war' he was unable to lie to himself.

The prince watched the medical center until the roof fell in, and then he turned to the B'yrch grove. Every tree seemed to be ablaze.

Anakin was ripped from the man's body and hurled into the grove. Even free of the prince's mind he didn't have control over his movements but was taken deep into the inferno. He traveled down a path while trees roared with heat on both sides. Ash fell on him and he seemed to feel its terrible burn, though only at a remove.

He flew into a small clearing and here he was made to see a decades-old joining: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon sleeping together in the midst of the fire as though they didn't know it was there. He recognized this scene from the time when the two Jedi had fallen in love, but still he tried to scream at them to get out before they were burned alive.

He was taken out of the clearing and whisked to the foot of a towering B'yrch that seemed to have no significance until he looked to the foot of the tree. Here was an unmarked grave but he saw Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon again, both of them a little older, as they laid a tiny coffin in the earth. _Lindi Jinn-Kenobi,_ his Obi whispered. _May your untimely death be the last to touch this world._

Well, Obi's wish hadn't been heard, had it? The Force was letting all these people die and-

_And I could have helped some of them if I'd just stayed there, but, no, I had to run off on a wild bantha chase with no real hope of finding Obi._

He was yanked away from the grave and found himself, dizzy and weak, staring up at the flaming head of a small tree. Small it was, but it was suddenly taller than him and he realized he was in another mind, this time a child's. _No. No, I don't want to see-_

_Mama!! _the child sobbed silently. _Mama, where are you? _The child coughed; it was smoky here but he was afraid to leave because there were so many monsters out there dealing different fire.

The smoke rose alarmingly and the child's dying scream was for his mama.

Anakin was thrown out of the dream and he stared at his instrument board with teras streaming down his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he whispered over and over again. "I should have stayed. I'm sorry."

There was a soft beep and he jumped as if stung. He was less than a minute from Dagobah. Sobbing and calling out to the Force that didn't answer, he let the ship take him in.

oOo

Three days after Obi-Wan left the medical center, it exploded to all points and sundry. The six droids- two cleaners, three nurses, one doctor- blew with it.

Only a hundred parsecs away (which isn't a long distance in terms of hyperspace-assisted travel) Obi-Wan felt those electronic lives wink out. He wouldn't have felt them but for his time with Anakin and R2D2, but he felt them and he grieved for them.

He didn't take the hyperspace lanes, well-established or backwater. He didn't want to run the risk that any would notice him. And so he limped from the medical center to Tatooine. The trip took him three weeks.

oOo

When Anakin landed and was able to swallow his tears, he stepped outside the ship and stared around at the strange wilderness for several moments, letting what he saw now try to overwhelm what he'd seen in the dream. He wasn't even half-successful, but for the moment he was able to put the horrors away.

The trees were dressed in ragged draperies of clinging moss that would kill them soon. Many had already died and now stood like the horrors from his last meditation. The moss would soon die without trees from which to draw nutrients. There were saplings already growing up to take the place of those trees that had died, and these in their turn would be destroyed by even more moss.

Anakin knelt by one of these trees and rested a hand on the spongy earth before its roots. He'd never considered that he could draw strength from a scene as he would from food, but he seemed to feel a touch of peace here as he hadn't since he was in Obi-Wan's arms and the two of them were making love in that 'lift months ago.

"Why am I here?" he asked the Force that didn't answer. "Why am I alone? If I'm supposed to be the Chosen One, how can I proceed without Obi and without the Force?" Despite these questions, all his anger was buried along with his grief for the Fregalans. He felt only lost.

He settled himself before the tree and tried to meditate.

oOo

Sunsets on Tatooine were some of the most beautiful natural wonders in the galaxy. Obi-Wan had landed at midday, but he brought Luke to his family close to sunset both so that he'd have shadows to disappear into and because it seemed right, symbolic almost, to give Luke into new hands as darkness gathered.

He would have laughed at the idea of symbolism half a year ago, but he didn't have that ability now. He knew he wouldn't go for the rest of his life without laughing, but for awhile, humor was as far from him as Tatooine was from Coruscant.

So it was that the bantha he rode crested a sand dune as the twin suns settled towards the horizon and he saw the Skywalker homestead. It was a modest building, even allowing for the fact that much of it was underground, but he'd seen the clusters of moisture collectors, saw they were well-tended, and thought Luke wouldn't want for anything here.

He rested his hand briefly on his slightly-risen abdomen. Leighna was growing; he could feel her connection to the Force always now. How would she fare in this sort of environment? Well, other children thrived here; so could she. He'd find a way to give her the food she needed; he'd find a way to make good shelter for her.

_And I'm stalling,_ he thought as he dismounted and started the last quarter-mile on foot. _I'm using thoughts of Leighna's future as a distraction from my grief. And I'm stalling because I don't want to give Anakin's child to anyone else. It was hard with Leia, but I know Bail Organa. He's a good man. He will give her all the love she needs. And I know, in my heart, that these people will do the same, but because I've never met them…_

Yes, he'd never met them, but Anakin and Padme had both spoken of them.

_Face it: you just don't want to give him up because you're afraid Leighna will die. Like Lindi. Or end up like Annie._

He winced, and then spotted Anakin's sister-in-law, Beru. Some of his selfish needs evaporated at once. They would return, but for now he was struck by how inviting she seemed. She was beautiful and seemed strong like one of the cliffs here on Tatooine: made to glow in the sunrises and smeant to endure the strongest storms. He shifted Luke in his arms and walked down to her.

She was cautious at first and he respected her for that.

He bowed. "Lady Beru-" he didn't know her last name and felt guilty for that lack- "my name is Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Master Jedi," she said, and there was no shadow of doubt in her eyes. She knew he was here in peace. Well, and he was. Mostly.

He loved her for her perceptive nature. "I bring your nephew to you. His father…" What? Was lost? Dead? (Not that, but how could he explain?) "His father can't take care of him and his mother is dead. I'm here to ask you to raise him as your son. I will be nearby, watching over him, over all of you, but I…" It was the will of the Force that Luke be watched by his family, not by Obi-Wan. Again, how could he explain? "I want to talk to both you and your husband before you take him, if you choose to take him."

There was no hesitation in her eyes. "May I hold him?"

As he held the infant out to her, she took him, cradling him in her arms and kissing his forehead. "I can't have children, Master Kenobi. This is a blessing." She looked up at him and her eyes shone despite the concern in their depths. "Thank you for this gift. Will Anakin return?"

"Please, I need to talk to you both about that."

She nodded and turned slightly away. "Owen!"

He saw her husband in the distance and braced himself. This would be hard. He knew nothing of this man but the Force told him this would be difficult and he believed.

Five minutes later, the four of them were inside. Beru held Luke and Obi-Wan sat by the cooking-fire, invading the family home as little as possible.

"His father's still alive?" Owen demanded. "Where is he?"

"I don't know," Obi-Wan answered.

"Then how do you know he's alive?"

Obi-Wan touched his forehead. He had a slight headache; he'd kept his mental shields so high and tight that he was started to feel the drain of so much prolonged Force usage in his body. Had he been keeping the shields up ever since Padme died? No; before that. Since he lost Nemalia. Yoda had said nothing about it and he'd made himself forget. It had been so long since he'd played those kinds of mind games with himself.

But Owen was waiting. Obi-Wan's own worries were for when Luke was safely in the arms of his family. "The Force."

Owen snorted.

"Please," Beru murmured as she rocked Luke. She was a natural mother. "It's not something we can feel so how can we know what it can and can't do?"

"I saw what it can do. Turn a man into a screaming monster. Make a man merciless and half-insane."

"She was his mother," Beru said sharply.

"What you saw was made more of Anakin's misplaced rage and disproportionate love," Obi-Wan said softly. "And in any case, this isn't about Anakin. It's about Luke. And Shmi. Her gentle spirit can live in the boy you hold. You can raise him to that peace." He held up a hand as Owen started to speak. "I can't promise his life will be peaceful any more than I can say if Anakin will return or where he is now. He is meant to help us heal from this empire and the Darkness behind it, but I can't say if that will come through war or peace. All I know for sure is that he will be better raised by a loving family than by me." He kept his hand from going to his abdomen by force of will. "Raise him in honor of Shmi Skywalker's memory. That's all I ask."

"You ask a lot," Owen grumbled, but he was watching his wife now. Then his head snapped up and he glared at Obi-Wan. "Where will you be?"

"Watching over him, but from a distance. I will not approach your homestead- if that's what you wish- unless there's danger and I need to bring all of you away from it."

"What danger?"

"None that I can foresee. The Sith doesn't know about Luke. No one in the Empire knows or cares. But I will protect him and you if that need arises." He waited to see if Owen had anything else to say and when he didn't, he went on: "Luke won't know his parentage from me and he won't know he's Force-sensitive from me." _That his Force-sensitivity is so high, so much like Anakin's, that I'm surprised he hasn't moved anything around with his mind yet._

Owen grimaced. "See that you stay away from here." He went to his wife and when he stood by her, some of his anger seemed to melt. "You're a good man, Kenobi," he said, looking only at his wife and the baby in her arms. Already Luke looked right in this room, in Beru's arms. "I don't doubt that you're good. But you taught _him_ and all I've seen of him is rage so you're not perfect."

"That's not fair," Beru murmured.

"Fair or not, it's true," Obi-Wan said. He stood. "You won't see me unless I need to be here." He glanced at Beru, wanting to hold Luke one more time, but that time was past. "Be well," he said, turning his head to include Owen in that blessing.

"And you, Obi-Wan," Beru said.

He turned to her. "It's Ben now," he said. "Ben Kenobi." And he went out.

oOo

Again, as he'd done off and on for the last few weeks, Anakin came out of a stupor that wasn't even close to meditation. It was raining. Again. It was always wet here. His skin screamed for sunlight but he sensed he'd never get it here. How did all the vegetation grow without sun?

He wiped his face free of tears and raindrops and shifted on the half-rotted log. Everything ached and he wondered if he would be lucky enough to catch some terrible cold and die here before he learned the truth of his lover's death.

"He's not dead," he whispered. "He's not. I won't believe that until I see it with my own eyes." He stood, trying to stretch the stiffness out of his joints. He creaked like a tree in a high wind and winced. It wasn't right that a Jedi should be so stiff and out of shape. How long had he been half-drowned in sorrow and fear? And what had brought him back?

He reached out to the Force, hoping against hope… and felt the same nothing he'd felt all along. So it wasn't the Force that he borught him out of himself. What, theyn? Surely not the rain.

He expected to be angry at the Force still, but it seemed his rage had worn itself out. Shaking his head at this, he left the clearing where he'd spnt much of the last month. He'd eaten all the food he'd found stored on the ship (he thought of thanking Prince Yeneluk someday and got slammed with the knowledge that the prince, along with many of his people, was dead) and it was past time to go looking for other sustenance, but he couldn't imagine eating right now. He was walking out of the clearing because he was aware of being needed somewhere. Again, this information didn't come from the Force, and so he considered it his own instinct.

When he'd taken fifty steps out of the clearing, he saw the dead tree. He couldn't feel it swarming with the Dark Force. He was drawn to it. Maybe here he would find meditation possible. He entered the tree and sat down.

oOo

Annie took Reese's corpse in his cooling coffin. She didn't want to open it yet, but she thought Reeft was perfectly preserved. She wasn't sure why he hadn't been burned (and she would have sneered if she'd known it was at Bant's request) but she considered it a stroke in her favor. _Everything_ was in her favor, it seemed. Well, almost.

She'd already been back to Mustafa and there she found both a ghost impression of two deaths. Because she believed the woman who had been there had lived (she'd looked perfectly healthy when Annie saw her last) she assumed the deaths were Anakin and Xanatos. When she found Xanatos's body, this only confirmed her suspicions. However, it made a concern more prominent: where was Anakin's body?

It had either been taken or it had burned. She wanted to believe the second (it would be so much _easier_) but Obi-Wan had walked away from their last battle so it was very possible he'd taken Anakin's body with him. He was sentimental like that.

That meant, of course, that Obi-Wan still lived, and that was definitely a problem.

There was also the problem of Yoda's whereabouts.

In the grand scheme of things, two living Jedi wasn't much of a concern, at least not to her. She had failed to kill Obi-Wan but only because she'd been too quick to leap and hadn't thought he would have the balls to truly attack her with everything in him. She'd underestimated him but it would never happen again. As for Yoda, she doubted the old master was worth much salt after he'd gone up against Sidious. He'd lived, but only to crawl away. He was doubtless licking his wounds, grieving for his lover, his sons and all the Jedi who had died on his watch.

So though she made a perfunctory search for Yoda and Obi-Wan, she wasn't alerted to their continued existence in any way that mattered until she came to Temple in search of Reeft's body. Oh, she'd found where Padme had gone after Mustafa, and she'd destroyed the medical center, hoping the slightly troublesome woman was still there (and why should she be there, when she wasn't hurt? Annie doesn't know or care) but not worrying one way or the other. She was infected with the Kenobi Curse: she wanted this child and she wanted it _now_.

But as she lifted Reeft's coffin with the power of the Force, she saw a narrow 'lift. It wasn't used for mass travel. Wondering where it led, she set the coffin aside, went to the door and touched the panel beside it. She was fully prepared for the 'lift to be dead as so many other things were dead here but the door opened without protest and she got in.

The 'lift went deep; she felt all the weight of the Temple above her. By the time the doors opened, she was starting to almost regret that she'd followed her curiosity. If she got stuck down here, or if something gave out above and she was buried, there would be no one to come for her. Sidious might know she was here- he seemed to know so much and she vowed to learn how he accomplished this feat before she ended his knowing forever- but he might decided that rescuing her twice almost four months wasn't worth his time.

But the doors (there were two beyond the 'lift's single door, as if this level needed an extra level of protection) opened and she found herself in an almost-empty hallway. The one resident of this brightly-lit and hideously clean basement huddled against a wall and didn't look up when she approached.

He was some sort of blue and scaly being and for a moment she wished she'd studied all the species of the now-defunt Republic more closely. That was something she was going to have to do before she was ready to kill Sidious. There were patterns of behavior common to certain species. You could make good guesses as to how they would react, and good guesses could often get you through the most difficult dealings.

She didn't take out her lightsaber but crouched before the being. Her breath- the breath of the machine- went in and out as always and for a moment she wished she could hold it because this being stank.

He raised yellow eyes to her after a long moment and even managed a smile. "You're a strange thing," he said. "What are you? Vision? Real?"

"Quite real." She moved her hand. "Tell me what happened here." She stopped, shook her head. That wasn't the right question. It wasn't specific enough. How had so many Jedi made it look so easy for so long?

The blue and crumpled thing said, "I am too tired to go on, so-"

"Stop."

He stopped.

This time she didn't wave her hand. "Who are you?"

"Zee."

She frowned. "One of the Council members?" Her hand dipped to her lightsaber.

"Not anymore. I was caged here. When the Temple was attacked…" He laughed and closed his eyes. "I've been here so long I-"

She slapped him. She didn't like that she couldn't feel the slap in all its textured glory. All she felt was the impact. "What happened when the Temple was attacked?"

"They- the guards watching us- set the cages' timers so that we'd be released twenty-four hours after they went to fight if they didn't return. They didn't want us to die. Now I'm the only one left. Some escaped, some killed each other. None wanted to kill me because I once used the Dark Force to hold off Obi-Wan Kenobi and to rape Anakin Skywalker. It wasn't my brother at all but me and they knew that and they wanted what I have but they were afraid of me because I'm a big lizard and when a lizard farts you better got underground, underwater, not that we like water, no, that's not out way, no matter who I didn't kill or how my brother died by Kenobi's hand. Not Obi-Wan- no, he was good because he was Wobi-An… But by Annie, she of the Kenobi name who has the Kenobi Curse and can never know it but once she learns it she will be enraged and-"

Annie beheaded him to end his mad talk. If she'd been human still, with a human's reactions, she would have broken out in gooseflesh. But she was only machine and she regretted losing that part of herself more now than ever. Maybe if giving Reeft new life worked, she would do the same to herself.

"What's the Kenobi Curse?" she asked the hall of the dead that this forgotten place had now become. Then, shaking her head, she laughed. Or tried to. It sounded so mechanical and foreigning _masculine_ that she stopped at once. "There's no such thing as Kenobi's Curse." She kicked the dead Jedi Council member and headed for the 'lift. She'd had enough of the Jedi Temple.

Besides, her soon-to-be son was waiting for her.

oOo

In the chill of midnight on Tatooine, Obi-Wan began work on his new home. He'd found the cave so easily he thanked the Force as he began to remove rocks and other debris from the medium-sized space. It was high enough here so he could stand upright, but he thought Anakin would have trouble. He cleaned out very old droppings and nothing fresher than a nearly petrified bone that had all but turned to stone. This cave hadn't been inhabited in months, maybe in years.

He wondered at that as he worked tirelessly through the darkest part of the night with only two torches to give him light. This was an ideal place for many of the wild things that lived here, sentient or otherwise. It wasn't close to the central spaceport, but that wasn't enough reason for it to stand empty for so long.

Two hours before dawn, he discovered the lake. It was a good half mile below the rest of the cave and he might have fallen off the high ledge and into it if not for all that time he'd spent on Dagobah, noticing, with and without the Force, all that went on around him.

As it was, he wandered beyond the front room of the cave, the only room he was planning to use, with one of the torches raised high to give him as much light as possible. He went slowly, too, conscious that there was no one here who'd come looking for him. Why, even

_(Sidious)_

Anakin wouldn't know where to begin looking.

"Not that Anakin's here," he muttered, one hand holding up the torch and the other out in front of him. That was when he sensed/saw/heard the empty place just ahead of him and he took a step back, listening hard. Below him in some huge and echoing space was water.

He moved to the edge even more cautiously this time, knelt there, and looked down. He couldn't see much; the torch's light was swallowed easily. But he sensed the water as a deep and maybe even pure thing. Now he really wondered why nothing lived here. Even if there wasn't a safe way down to the water, there must be a way to get to it. A bucket, even. So why was this cave deserted and ready for him?

That was when the mostly-still water below exploded upwards and an arm at least five men long tried to wrap itself around his neck. Obi-Wan leapt back, dipping for his lightsaber even though he was reluctant to use his weapon on a non-sentient and yet living thing.

The wind from the leaping tentacle blew out the torch, plunging him into absolute darkness.

At once he lit his 'saber, using its humming light as he backed away from the edge of the pool.

But the arm or tentacle or, for all he knew, tongue, came after him, bringing with it something huge. It was a tongue, he saw a moment later, a tongue belonging to the largest frog-like thing he'd ever seen. He couldn't imagine a frog living here on a desert world, but now at least he knew why this was cave had been deserted. This thing could come out of the pool and hunt for short amounts of time. How short? Longer than he'd have if he didn't get out of the thing's way.

Obi-Wan deactivated his lightsaber, clipped it back to his belt, and made for the entrance to the cave. It was pitch black all around him now, but he remembered the route. He went with hand out, the other on his 'saber hilt, and every sense open.

_Obi mine._ A wince that Obi-Wan felt as well as sensed. _Forgive me. Even here it seems I miss what I… missed. _Qui-Gon chuckled.

Obi-Wan tripped, staggered, fell, catching himself on both hands. Behind him, the thing from the pool howled and scrabbled its way towards him. He'd assumed it would see better in the dark than he did, but maybe its senses were all scent and hearing.

And in the midst of this running-for-his-life fumbling, Obi-Wan wept. _Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon, Yoda said you would come but I never- I'm sorry I didn't believe but after losing so many, after I saw where you had fallen…_

The tongue or tentacle or arm wound itself around his waist and Obi-Wan jerked very like the prey this thing was used to. He was yanked backwards and he expected to feel either hot breath or just teeth. He tried for his lightsaber, but another extension of the creature wound itself around his arms, leaving him helpless. He reached out with the Force, setting the shock of finding Qui-Gon suddenly, shockingly, in his mind. He'd try talking the creature into letting him go.

He didn't encounter a creature's mind or a man's mind but something like both of these, and something Darker than either could normally be. What were the odds a Jedi would come into this thing's territory?

_It's not Dark0influenced naturally,_ Qui-Gon sent. _It's made that way. You've been found._

Obi-Wan broke out in cold sweat. _Luke?_

_No. Not yet. The Dark Force still knows nothing of the twins. But you're being hunted, Obi-Wan, and you can't persuade this thing to let you go. And you may not be able to wriggle loose._

_Thanks for the cheery assessment, _Obi-Wan grumbled as he struggled hard against the arms that held him. He called the Force in, pelting the thing with rocks the size of his two fists. When he fumbled around for bigger ones, he felt hands close over his, and Qui-Gon's presence in his mind was gentle.

_You can't fight it that way. Unless you managed to kill this freshla-_

The frog-thing. Check.

_-you won't escape. Because you're fighting the Dark Force. So what you need to do is disappear. Make it so the Dark Force thinks you're gone. Dead or just not there, it doesn't matter._

Knowing a lesson when he heard it, Obi-Wan stopped trying to fight the thing. It was, luckily, dragging him back towards the pool where it was doubtless consume him. It crept back as it had rushed forward, giving him a chance for this conversation. _Show me what to do._

_That's my wise Obi-Wan. For right now, there isn't time to teach or even show. Let me do it for you and when the freshla's gone, I'll teach you._

_Fair enough._ He let go of everything that was himself: his fears, his confusion, his curiosity about this new technique, whatever it was. In short, he gave himself completely to the Force as it acted through Qui-Gon.

_You were always the most trusting and open Jedi I've ever known, _Qui-Gon said, and then he fell silent and Obi-Wan's world went Light.

He was blinded by it and had to fight the fear that wanted to put him back in danger. He squeezed his eyes shut but still the Light hurt his head, his brain, and he groaned. The Light flickered.

_Come on, Obi-Wan,_ Qui-Gon urged._ Trust. It's who you are._

He could feel the freshla's grip on his arms and leg; he could smell the thing now, too. It didn't smell dirty but like something that is continually washed in clean, clear water. The pain of so much Light began to recede and he sighed his relief.

_There,_ Qui-Gon murmured. _Pull yourself loose. Try to do it all in one movement, then, once you're free, lay perfectly still._

He didn't question but pulled himself, using only his muscles and not his connection to the Force, to do it. He rolled on the cave floor and came to rest on his back. Despite the vulnerable position, he didn't stir._ This is some strange new miracle,_ he thought.

_Not a miracle. You've known about this, though you've only seen the Dark version. There is, for all intents and purposes, now a hole in the Force and you disappeared into it. The freshla and the Darkness inside it can't sense you._

This, then, was how Adee had appeared to all the other Jedi when he, Obi-Wan was away on Dagobah. Except he had disappeared into the Light instead of-

_Into the Whole Force, which is much more powerful. Don't start compartmentalizing now, Obi m- Obi-Wan. _

Once this was over, he'd ask Qui-Gon why it was so hard for him to remember they weren't together. For now, Obi-Wan only waited to see if the freshla and the Dark Force would be fooled.

The freshla sniffed around him for a moment, not coming close to where he lay, and then the amphibian, who had to be the size of that half-ship he and Anakin had crashed on Coruscant what felt like years ago, resumed its crawl towards the cliff. Obi-Wan waited until it had either fallen or jumped off and landed in the water below.

He got up and made his way silently to the safer part of the cave. Here he sat and rested against a wall he'd mostly cleared of debris. _It's great to hear your voice again._

Qui-Gon chuckled. _I missed you, too._

Obi-Wan reached out into the Force and sensed both the creature in its pool and the life growing inside him. _Teach me the secret of the Whills, _he sent. _But also teach me how to hide in the Force._ His hand strayed to his abdomen._ I don't want anyone to hurt my baby girl._

oOo

The tree was like the focusing crystals in his lightsaber, Anakin decided as he settled into a meditative posture. It hummed, and that hum seemed mostly in tune with the universe. 'Mostly' wasn't necessarily good enough, but how could so many crystals be in tune when they all vibrated to a different pitch series?

And, of course, in the Crystal Cave, there were Dark Force crystals. That explained a great deal of the discord.

When he closed his eyes, he fell naturally into meditation- full meditation. He sank thorugh the layers of mind like a tone through water and came to rest at the bottom of his mind where all was quiet and still.

Why was that possible now that he'd been cut off from the Force? Shouldn't it have been the other way? Shaking his head, Anakin didn't question the gift but relaxed into the stillness and peace.

Except there was no peace. As he settled more and more deeply into the stillness, he realized it was a _watchful_ stillness. He jerked like he'd touched a live wire and tried to come back out of the meditation.

He couldn't.

It wasn't a huge surprise; he was being watched by something that wanted him here, by something that wanted to eat him.

He tried to see in the darkness of his first effortless meditation and this was as impossible as rising back to wakefulness.

_I'm meant to learn something here,_ he thought, and so he calmed his racing mind and listened. If something did want him here and was hunting him, maybe he could either learn from it or at least stay hidden.

As his mind quieted, he sensed the tree around him. Not with the Force, but with something that was almost the Force. (He had no idea what that meant, but it _felt_ true.)

The tree was ancient, but what lived in it- a predator for sure- wasn't old in terms of the age of trees or even the age of men. It wasn't even twenty years old, maybe not even ten. And yet it had killed at least one person; Anakin felt that death all around him.

_How did Obi-Wan survive next to this thing for so long? I mean, he was on Dagobah; he had to feel it._

Or maybe it had come since Obi-Wan left. When he thought this, he thought it just might be true.

He tried to sense beyond the tree and fumbled his way into a vision. And when this first vision was over, another took its place. Then another. As Qui-Gon had done years ago, Anakin walked from one planet to another, doing it in his mind as the Force kept him hidden. He lived lifetimes in the space of hours, and from each vision he took something.

In this way, he passed the next year and more; the stand-off was struck while he traveled from one vision to the next. While he was hidden by the Force, Woda grew up, Leigna Skywalker-Kenobi was born, the Empire forgot the Jedi, Annie gave into the Kenobi Curse, and Luke and Leia began their lives in obscurity.

Time Tally: End of the five years, baby! Next chapter: the time before _A New Hope_.


	62. Learning 1

**Author's Note:** Okay, this took way too long. If I still have patient fans out there reading this, I apologize. Personal upheaval affected my writing-time more than I expected.

Learning (1)

"All right," Obi-Wan said to the empty cave. "All right. I've chosen this place and this is where I'll live." It was full dark almost six months after he'd arrived on Tatooine and he'd satisfied himself that he'd sought out every single cave and crevice on the desert planet. He'd even looked into living at the spaceport, but having that many people so near wasn't what he could tolerate, let alone what he wanted.

The cave he had first found, complete with its not-so-friendly beast, was where he settled. It was close to Owen and Beru's farm; it wasn't far from Mos Eisley. Better than both of these things, though, was that he felt safe in this cave, even from the creature in the pool just so long as he didn't go too far back. No Raiders came here, and that went double for local wildlife. He was safe here and safety, while it shouldn't have been the most important thing in his life right then, it was the most important.

He'd never felt so defenseless, not even when ber'Nac froze his muscles and certainly not when Dooku put a Force-collar about his neck and confined him in a shield. Maybe the only time he'd felt close to this unprotected was when he was reduced to feeling only slivers of the Force.

And, of course, there was how he'd felt while Xanatos's prisoner, but though he didn't exactly block those memories, they didn't come readily. That was something else he needed to change while he was here.

He leaned against the cave wall just inside the entrance, reaching out with the Force, listening to the pool creature's sleeping mind. It would sleep until full dark, and then it would go under the planet's surface and hunt its prey.

He rested a hand on his swollen abdomen. He hadn't considered, not consciously, how he was going to give birth and here he was, probably less than a week or two from delivery, still with no ideas except to go into Mos Eisley and so reveal that the crazy hermit had a child. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't put Leighna in danger.

That was the center of his feeling of defenselessness: he knew it. He wasn't afraid for his own life and he was used to working with just the Force and no one else nearby, but how could he make sure Leighna had everything a child needed? He'd wanted one for so long and now he had all the fears he'd never considered to go with the joy.

"Qui-Gon…" he whispered into the stillness. They'd talked a little since that first day he brought Luke to his family, but only a little, and only about the Secret of the Whills. He still didn't know how to take care of himself, how to protect Leighna, how to heal.

Or how to find Anakin when the time came. At least that time wasn't yet. Anakin was healing somewhere; until then, Obi-Wan wasn't meant to go near him.

He reached out to the Force, touching his daughter as she rested inside him. She was healthy; she was beautiful. She was going to live a miserable life here. No matter how much he loved her, she was going to live a miserable life.

_Force, help me, _he prayed with all his heart as he hadn't in years. _Please. She's almost my life; she deserves a life of her own. Please. How am I meant to help her?_

There was no response, but what had he expected? The Force wasn't a god; It was a field of energy. He'd learned that. It was intelligent, and sometimes it spoke, but he was a fool to expect an answer to such an answerless question. He could either keep Leighna with him- assuming he could figure out how to give birth to her all on his own- or he could give her away and hope she found something better than living with him in a hole.

"I wish Organa could have taken you, precious one," he whispered and tears filled his eyes. "I wish-"

His former master spoke, startling him: _Wish in one hand; shit in the other; see which fills up first._

He smiled humorlessly. _Yes, Qui-Gon, I know. But-_

_No buts, Obi-Wan. You need to give birth to her and you need to do it alone. As for her living with you: if she doesn't she will die. She feels like you and though Vader and Sidious know nothing of her, she will be like a beacon: easy to find. And, of course, the Kenobis would be looking for her. Did you know your parents were the last of the Kenobi line?_

_You mean my father was. My mother-_

_Was his sister._

Obi-Wan shuddered with disgust. _Just when I thought they couldn't be any worse… _He rubbed his abdomen absently. _How would they find her?_

_I don't know. I only know they would. It's written in your genetic code, if you will._

His gorge rose. He wouldn't let her endure all he had. So, no chance of giving her up. _How can I make her happy here?_

_It's not a question of happiness but a question of peace. She will find peace with you and that's what she's meant to know. She, too, is important to the future. Once the balance is restored, she will be crucial in keeping it._

Obi-Wan slid down to the cave floor and rested there, listening. _You've been so far from me for all these months. Why the flood of words now?_

_Because you're finally ready to listen. You've done nothing but range all over this planet, sometimes so far from Luke that there's no way you could have arrived in time to save him from anything._

The reproach hurt, but only because it was true. _I know. I was trying to speed time along._

_Well, that's happened. Now it's time for you to become a Jedi again and face the future with courage. Will you?_

He wasn't ready, not even after all this time. But he was one of the last Jedi; he couldn't just give up everything that the Order had been. _Yes._

_Good. Then it's time for you to give birth to Leighna Kenobi-Skywalker._

oOo

Annie- she was beginning to think of herself as Darth Vader, since that was what Sidious had trained the clones to call her- stood beside her master and gazed out at the fleet spread before them. She could see each ship and know what it was and how many troops it carried. It seemed that this body helped to store information more readily than her human brain, or maybe it was only that she was dedicated to learn as much as possible as quickly as possible.

"These are meant to bring the Outer Rim into submission," her master said. "They will succeed or fail, and it doesn't matter which because we have control over everything else." He smiled; the gleam of his teeth shone from the shadows of the hood he always kept up now.

She wondered sometimes if he was ashamed of what he looked like. She certainly wasn't ashamed of her new look, though she hated Obi-Wan for what he'd done to her. In this form, she was much more imposing. It would have taken many deaths to instill fear in those she met if she had kept her father's face. Without that gentle cast, she terrified most of those she met. She looked like what she was: a weapon.

The only problem with being as she was now was that she couldn't carry a child in this state. She would have to find someone to carry the child for her, preferably someone who looked very much like Reeft so that he could look as much like himself as possible.

When she'd first thought of bringing him to life, she had assumed he could be grown in a test tube, then an incubator, but she couldn't defend the developing fetus in a machine as well as she could if it was inside a person. A person could be moved. A person could be hidden, would take care of itself. She would find a woman who looked like Reeft, rape her full of Reeft's DNA, and a child would result.

But the Kenobi Curse worked against her: in those moments when she wasn't carefully focused on having a child that looked like Reeft, she wanted a child that looked like her. She told herself, over and over, that this was impossible. She couldn't have children and even if Obi-Wan was alive, she didn't want a brother.

So it was impossible. And yet she thought about it constantly; it haunted her nights and delayed the birth of her son.

In this way, as in others, balance was already, secretly, being sought.

oOo

Not all of Anakin's visions need be told; he was a brilliant man, but sometimes lessons need to be taught more than once. Let these three visions, the three he told Obi-Wan when they met again, stand for all the others.

The star of the first was a huge and furry creature that Anakin couldn't readily recognize. Her name was Glis-li, but though, in the midst of so much pain and loss he couldn't remember if that was a flower or a bird, he knew it wasn't the name of this species. Nor did he care. Obi-Wan had named this huge, furry and maternal beast Glis'li and so Anakin was more than ready to hear what she had to said.

She had only one phrase, but it touched off a hundred memories: _All is well._ He knew that wasn't true, and yet, as she spoke it again and again as she led him to a large pool where several of her herd played in the shallows.

One of that herd's members was Obi-Wan. He was dressed in rags and barely recognizable as a man, let alone as a Jedi, but when one of the young members of the herd dunked him and brought him up into the sun again, he was laughing, and that sound all but broke Anakin's heart because it was free.

_All is well,_ Glis'li said. And it seemed to Anakin that she wasn't talking about Obi-Wan as he'd been at this time, but as he was now. Wherever Obi-Wan was, he was well.

Glis'li picked him up and took him away from the pool. He hung in her mouth like a kitten. She showed him several of her family members, and he saw that though some of them were old and sick, the others tended them cheerfully, if an animal could be said to be cheerful. _All is well._

_Not just here on Rojo IV,_ he realized, _but in the grand scheme of things, all will be well, Darkness or no Darkness. Healing will come._

Glis'li leapt into the air, something she was surely incapable of in real life, and kept rising up through the clouds, out into space, and even further up, as though the whole galaxy was a map. As Anakin hung in her mouth, unsurprised that he could breathe out here, the stars dimmed. Before he could be frightened, other stars popped up everywhere. These, he knew, weren't stars but lives. New Force-sensitives who would become Jedi someday. It wasn't for him to make them Jedi, but they would become Jedi under another leader.

_All is well,_ Glis'li told him and then he passed into other visions.

The central figure of the second vision was a padawan he didn't know at once, though he realized who it was before he was taken to another vision.

The padawan was ten years old. He was digging in a garden, joyfully pulling weeds. Another padawan, a girl with bronze skin and golden eyes, came to stand behind him. "What are you doing?"

He glanced back at her. "Digging."

"I can see that," she said, hands on her hips, "but why? Did you frustrate your master?"

"No. I wanted to give these flowers a better chance to grow. They're being choked. I guess they remind me of the people Master Dooku and I have been working with recently: they just need a little help."

She sighed. "You're nuts. How is helping flowers going to help other people?"

"I'm practicing giving help. It was Master Yoda's idea."

"Well, if it's Yoda's…"

_What am I supposed to-? _But then Anakin knew what he was meant to learn as the two figures faded and were replaced by two other Jedi: Qui-Gon, now full grown, and Obi-Wan, eight or nine years old. Obi-Wan was the one kneeling in the dirt and Qui-Gon stood behind him.

"Do you feel the Living Force around them?" Qui-Gon asked. "It's not just words, Obi-Wan: the Living Force is real. It surrounds every person, every plant, and will help you know what they want and why if you'll only listen."

"How can listening to plants help us save people?" Obi-Wan asked.

"If you can learn what a flower wants in any given moment, you can know what everyone needs."

"I can't hear them."

"Keep listening, and soon you will. And when you know what everyone needs, Obi-Wan, you will know the secrets of the galaxy."

These two faded out and now it was Obi-Wan standing and not Anakin, but Woda in the dirt. Obi-Wan said, "What do the flowers want?"

"Water?" Woda asked. He was yanking on a weed like he would tear up the whole Temple.

"That's your guess. But what does every flower need, at all times?"

"Uh… A place to grow?"

"Yes, young one! Exactly! A place to grow. And that's what everyone needs."

"Everyone?" Woda blinked up at him. "I thought we were just talking about flowers."

"Someday, the lessons you learn in this garden will apply to all."

"Master Obi-Wan, that's really confusing."

Anakin grinned as the vision faded. _Okay, _he thought, _so how do I give everyone a place to grow? _And, on the heels of that: _Not me. The stars. Well, the lives. The new Jedi. _They'll_ make a place. It might take centuries, but they'll make a place._

He didn't understand anything about the third vision until he talked to Obi-Wan years later. At first, he even watched the two spinning figures without understanding what they were doing. He attributed that lack of understanding to long weeks of being his only company.

The dancers- what he thought at first were dancers- were about his own age. Neither was even close to thirty, and yet he knew they had seen pain like he'd seen it. What had they seen? Death? Surely. Torture? Yes. Loss of friends and family and abandonment? Definitely.

Then he saw the lightsabers in their hands and shouted into the silence of the cavern under the tree, "They're Jedi!" Were they two who had escaped Darth Sidious's plans? No; they had never grown up at Temple. He accepted that as truth and watched in amazement as they danced around each other like a perfect team.

The man had hair that defied a color label. It was, he finally decided, like the sand on Tatooine. He wasn't enormously tall or strong, but he looked comfortable in his own body, and that counted for more than simple strength or physical presence.

The woman's grace was like a river over smooth rocks. She wore clothing he associated with Tatooine and a dozen other desert planets. But as he watched her, he realized the skirt she wore was slit halfway up, giving her complete freedom of movement. He wasn't sure at first where he'd seen that style and then it hit him: Master Cro had often worn skirts just like that one. He'd even seen her fight in one a few times.

oOo

Leighna was seven months old today.

Obi-Wan tinkered with the sand-damaged engine and listened, with ears and the Force, to his daughter laughing. He'd found her a baby sankit, a fox-like, easily trainable creature with intense protectiveness bred into every sense. The sankit had bonded with him at once, but its loyalty was even stronger with his daughter. And for that, he loved it.

Leighna would be crawling soon. She could flip herself onto her stomach and she could wriggle about, but she wasn't quite ready to get her arms and legs under her. It would only be a few weeks before she mastered crawling, though. That was why he'd built the playpen. He was almost done smoothing the floors of the cave, but until then, there was always the chance she would hurt herself if she was allowed to wander about the cave. Of course, she was able to hurt herself in the playpen, too.

He'd never thought raising a child would be so exhausting. It was so much more time- and energy-consuming than training Anakin that sometimes he thought the Force had kept Lindi from living because she would have taken up every spare moment. He was hyperaware of Leighna even as he fixed the engine so they would be able to eat more than just the mushrooms he grew on the two moisture collectors and drink more than the water he drew from the pool at the back of the cave when the frog-creature was off hunting.

The engine at last running, he stood, stretched. He rolled backwards, popping some stiffening joints.

Leighna laughed as she always did when he moved that way. She also laughed when he worked with his unlit lightsaber. She didn't let him meditate as much as he might have liked, but who needed to meditate so often?

He did. He knew he did. He still couldn't draw the bad memories close for examination, and he was starting to lose more than his time as Xanatos's prisoner. Sometimes, he honestly couldn't recall good memories, either, like the first time he and Anakin had made love.

But how could he meditate with a youngling to look after?

It was an excuse; Obi-Wan was still Jedi enough to know that. What he didn't know was that the Force delayed his meeting with Anakin until he confronted all his past and truly learned from it.

oOo

War had come to Namala as it came to so many other worlds. It came to Obi-Wan's parents, too, but in a different way. Neither of them were fighters, though they were both skilled with blasters. A dream had come to Obi-Wan's father twenty years before, warning him that if he didn't learn to defend himself, his descendent would kill him.

Neither of them believed the dream at first, but when they heard about General Kenobi on the HoloNet and saw their beautiful one-time whore leading clone troopers and carrying a Jedi blade, they both feared the dream and regretted giving him to the Jedi in the first place. Why had they even done that, they asked themselves? Had his power over them been so strong that they'd been afraid to kill him? And if that was true, why hadn't they simply put him up for adoption? Why had they given him to people who would take his power and strengthen it?

When the Jedi fell, they were relieved. They even celebrated, toasting each other over their son's death. Obi-Wan was no more; like all the other children they'd tried to create for their pleasure, he was dead, though his death had taken much longer. They were safe.

And so they would have been, but for the Kenobi Curse which led Darth Vadar to Namala.

She wasn't expecting to see her parents; she'd never bothered to research Obi-Wan's family tree. But the Dark Force called her there and she went, thinking that here she would find the woman who looked like Reeft.

She landed with several thousand troops and after she had given orders to secure the city, she walked the streets. Terror walked with her and she was glad to see it. She watched everyone as they cowered away from her, smiling to herself when fewer and fewer people even dared the streets to watch.

She followed the Dark Force to the Kenobi house and rapped once on the door. She hadn't planned to knock; it wasn't in her nature. But here she did knock, though she didn't expect anyone to answer. Surely they'd pretend she wasn't there. But the door opened.

She was glad the helmet she wore prevented her surprise from showing. She glared down at the man and woman from her great height and felt her heart leap as it hadn't in months. She had enjoyed the deaths of so many; she loved their screams. But these two- well, one- would give her the chance to have the baby look like her.

_What about Reeft?_

_I can always make a baby who looks wholly like him. Think of it: I can make two babies and raise them both to be Sith after me._

She was not such a great fool that she didn't make the connection. Having it confirmed by the Dark Force only made her smile secretly. And so she spoke in her robotic, ominous voice. "You had a child. Obi-Wan Kenobi."

The woman screamed and the man took a step back. "You're not…" the man whispered. "You're not…"

"No. I'm not him. Obi-Wan is dead." She drew her lightsaber. "Just like you." She sliced him neatly in half.

The woman- her grandmother, in a way- shrieked and turned to flee.

Darth Vadar picked her up with the Force and dragged her close. "You," she said, placing the 'saber's blade close to the woman's face, "are going to be my breeding sow."

oOo

Leighna was extremely Force-sensitive.

The day she turned one, she was amusing herself by throwing rocks about the cave. Small rocks, to be sure, but she hurled them with a child's fierce enjoyment and a great deal of speed.

Obi-Wan saw none of it. She was safely playing in the playpen he'd expanded and the sankit was keeping an eye on her. He didn't want to leave her care to the no-doubt-intelligent animal, but he had no choice. His past had come back to haunt him.

It had started with nightly dreams of his time with ber'Nac, his times with Xanatos, his time with Telka, Dooku, Fef'n, and the Xarligs. He woke screaming from nearly every dream. Leighna had taken to covering her ears and screaming back at him when he did this, as if she couldn't stand him wallowing in his pain.

Next came the sand drawings. He hadn't known what he was about, sitting outside the cave in the predawn light, Leighna usually asleep beside him and the sankit keeping sure guardover her, but he began to make pictures soon after the nightmares started. He drew the Temple, Ahleh, Woda, Mace, Garen, Qui-Gon, Anakin.

Sidious. Annie.

He'd never considered himself a great artist, but most pictures looked like the things they represented, and he took a strange measure of solace watching the wind sweep them away.

They didn't speak to him; he spoke through them.

After the pictures came the songs. He dredged up every song from every culture he'd ever encountered, many times losing half the words, but regaining them with practice and patience. Often the songs morphed into long speeches in the same language. He talked of the fall of Fregala, knowing it had truly fallen because he was so deep in the Force at those moments that he almost wasn't there to himself. He talked of Rept'thik and it's fall to the Dark Side. He talked of the death of Thay-alla, her mother and most of the royal family. He learned, through a song of mourning, of Zee's death. He came to the joy of Leia's growing in a song from Alderaan.

So it was that he sat on the morning of his daughter's first birthday and at last relived it all, without interruption: not just the pain and joy of his adult life, but those things his mind, courtesy of a strong Force connection, remembered. He remembered almost all the way back to his birth. He relived his parents' deeds; he was pulled through memories of Ahleh's death, his first love-making with Qui-Gon, his time under ber'Nac's control, saving Qui-Gon's life with Anakin's help. Without mercy or reticence, he was treated to his struggles on Dagobah, fighting Jango Fett, Siri's death, Garen with his legs shot off, losing Anakin, being reunited with him, rushing to save Chancellor Palpatine, fighting Annie on that rooftop on Coruscant. Killing General Grievous and knowing he'd been manipulated into doing so. The death of the Jedi.

He came back to the physical world when something bit his hand. He didn't jerk away, but looked down at the sankit. Leighna was howling in her playpen. He glanced at her, assessed her through the Force, and knew she was hungry, wanted to be changed, and craved his attention.

"All right," he told the sankit, surprised when his voice cracked as if with advanced age. Feeling the Force roar through him like rapids concentrated by a narrow channel, he got up. His joints, too, ached, and he took another moment to judge his condition. He was older; he felt it in every cell, it seemed. Well, that was fine; he'd gotten what he needed. He remembered everything. And with that knowledge came all that he'd been meant to learn from it.

"I am Obi-Wan Kenobi," he told the cave as he crossed to his daughter. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the changing table he'd built from sand-smoothed stone. "And I am a great Jedi Master. For the first time since Dagobah, I know what that means." He laid his daughter on the table after setting a pad under her, and as she wriggled about and squealed with happiness, delighted to have his attention again, he told her, "In practical terms, it means being one with the Force. I will surely die sooner than I was meant to- protecting you and Luke, at all times and from all eyes, friend and foe, will suck my life from me quickly- but this is where I'm meant to be, what I'm meant to do."

"_Now you understand."_ Qui-Gon's ghost took shape, gaining solidity, beside the table. The sankit barked at him and he moved his hand slightly. _"Peace, loyal guard. I'm only here to keep talking sense into him." _He switched his attention to Obi-Wan. _'You don't look surprised to finally see me."_

Obi-Wan finished changing his daughter's underclothes. He picked her up and carried her to where he kept the bantha milk. The Force was an ocean around him, buoying him up. "I can see everything I need for now. Not the future, but the present? The past? Yes." He closed his eyes for a moment, tired and yet full of energy. "I know the secret of the Whills now."

He laughed. "So, no, I'm not surprised to see you. Anyone connected to the Force-" He stopped. "In the Force, I mean, can see you."

Qui-Gon bowed. _"Excellent, Master Obi-Wan."_

Leighna squirmed in Obi-Wan's arms and when he looked down into her eyes- Anakin's eyes- she laughed up at him and grabbed a tiny fistful of his rapidly graying hair. She didn't speak yet; she barely babbled. But her eyes and that laugh did all the talking for her.

Obi-Wan kissed her cheek and set her down so he could get the milk unhindered. She crawled rapidly to where Qui-Gon stood and held her arms up.

Qui-Gon sighed. _"Young one, I can't-"_

Obi-Wan lifted Leighna with the Force. "Pur your arms around her," he mouthed and when Qui-Gon obeyed, Leighna laughed again.

She reached up, her fingers going through him. She blinked, surprised, but then laughed again and passed her hands back and forth through his shoulder, his face, laughing all the more.

"_By the Force, Obi, she's so beautiful."_ Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment. _"She's so deep in the Force she can see me without an instant's training and she isn't afraid when she encounters new things. She will be a strong Jedi."_

Obi-Wan nodded. "She looks right in your arms," he said, brought hard back to the here and now. He could still feel the Force as an ocean around him, still rejoiced in it, but the physical plane had reinstated itself around him and he realized he'd been in danger of just giving himself completely over to the Force without remembering his responsibilities. Maybe that was why he'd been allowed Leighna: to keep his feet on the ground.

But the 'why' didn't matter. For the first time in his life, he didn't care- and didn't have to work at not caring- about the next five minutes, let alone next year. Let the future take care of itself. He would know what to do when the time came.

Leighna squirmed to be let go and Obi-Wan lowered her, Qui-Gon crouching out of habit to set her down. She scrambled towards the playpen and when the sankit scrambled to nudge the playpen up so she could crawl under, she pushed it up herself with the Force and wriggled in, even holding the playpen up for the sankit.

"_She's got the intelligence and compassion of your child," Qui-Gon said. "And so much earlier than I would have ever thought possible."_ He turned back to Obi-Wan. _"She'll be able to get out of that pen, you know."_

Obi-Wan laughed. "She's been doing it by herself for a week now. The best I can do is keep an eye on her and let Shash do his job."

"Shash?"

"It means 'wise guard' in Bail Organa's home language. I wanted Leighna to have a connection to her half-sister, even if it's tenuous."

Qui-Gon nodded. _"You'll still have to work, you know. You'll still have to study. Meditate upon what you've learned."_

Obi-Wan laughed, so relieved that he was finally where he was meant to be that he braced his hands on his knees and let the tears trickle down his cheeks as he roared with laughter. "As if that's ever bothered me before?" He straightened and went to Qui-Gon. "Thank you for putting up with me." Compsing himself, he took Leighna her milk.

He'd been expecting a laugh, but Qui-Gon's eyes filled with tears. _"Oh, Obi mine, I'm only sorry I couldn't save you from everything you've suffered. And I'm sorry I was so selfish and left you alone for so long."_

"I wasn't alone. I had the Force. I had Anakin."

"_Yes, but…" _Qui-Gon bowed his head. _"Part of the reason I'm allowed here is because I'm still learning how to let go. I missed my chance to be your eternal lover, so I'm here to make peace with that. It's going to take awhile, I think. Mostly because-"_ he laughed weakly- _"I can't get over seeing you so strong, standing all on your own without a hint of support from anyone except the Force."_

He wanted to take the older man's hand so badly his own trembled. "Qui-Gon... Maybe the reason you can't let go is because you're holding onto what I never was. I was never as weak as I seemed. I thought I was; most of the Temple thought the same. Even Yoda thought it every once in a while. But the man- padawan and master- that you fell in love with didn't exist."

"_It's not that simple, Obi-Wan."_

"Yes. It is." He turned from Qui-Gon, starting towards the fire pit. He'd make dinner before going to check on Luke. And maybe if Leighna was asleep, he'd take her there. He wouldn't risk taking his intelligent daughter to a place she'd remember, not until he'd taught her why she couldn't go there, why she couldn't meet Luke. "I'm sorry, Qui-Gon," he said, struggling to set guilt aside. "It _is_ that simple. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out."

"_Obi mine…"_

He turned back, meeting Qui-Gon's gaze. His former master and former lover hadn't moved. "You're going to think I'm a cold ass, but I can't make this any easier on you. I loved you before; I love Anakin now. If you're not ready to accept that you loved a shadow, accept that I love him now."

"_I never said I didn't… Obi-Wan, that's not fair. This isn't about right now, about who you're with. It's about us."_

"Here's something I learned today: no one can move forward until they make peace with the past." He turned away, going to the fire pit, holding his silence, listening to Qui-Gon do the same.

Qui-Gon faded from the visible world; Obi-Wan felt him go.

Letting his shoulders drop, Obi-Wan turned to the playpen. "Do you want to help, Leighna?"

She lifted up the playpen and scrambled towards him. She'd be walking very soon now.

Obi-Wan smiled as Shash followed at her heels. "You can take things off the shelf for me." He met Shash's eyes. "Help me keep her away from the fire, please." Together, they started dinner.

oOo

Mace rubbed at his throbbing knee. The dampness wasn't helping the injuries he'd suffered under Sidious and Darth Vader, the injuries the Force couldn't heal anymore.

Watching from his mat by the door, Yoda wished for dry wood to build up the fire that had gone out. Failing that, and failing to have bacta or anything that would ease Mace's pain, he closed his eyes. He didn't feel helpless; the Force ran through him. But he was heart sore. Mace might be rubbing his knee, but that was the least of the injuries he'd received. Daily, they were eating him from the inside out. Soon, Yoda would only be able to make him as comfortable as possible in the days before he died.

The door opened and Woda bounced sedately in. Yoda's lightsaber was at his side, clipped to his belt.

Here was another grief coming. Yoda knew Woda wasn't meant to carry a lightsaber. He'd known it almost as long as his youngling had; Mace knew, too. They just never discussed it.

"I can do it," Woda said, his spirits weighed down by the dampness and solitude. "I can defend myself against anything here." He met Yoda's gaze. "I know it's not enough, that I have a lot more training, but I can do that much." He glanced back at the door. "I brought dinner."

He'd killed something for dinner. Yoda nodded, wishing again for dry wood.

"We can salt it," Mace said, rising with a wince. "Will you help me, Woda?"

Their son nodded and headed for the door. When he was outside, Yoda pushed the door closed again with the Force. "Mace…" It had been so long since he'd been tentative, even longer since he'd been afraid to ask something. "Tell me the truth you will?"

Mace picked him up. Yoda didn't object, though it hurt his lover to hold him. If he struggled, Mace would hurt even more.

"Always," Mace whispered against his ear.

"How feel do you?"

Mace kissed his ear and murmured, "I won't last six months. I'm sorry I can't be here with you longer."

He was crying; they both were. Yoda hugged him, arms around his neck. "Love you so much I do. And with the Secret of the Whills, see each other again we will." Qui-Gon had come to them less than a month ago, teaching them. Qui-Gon had been in pain, but he refused to talk about it. Yoda had tried to talk to him, but for one of the few times in his long life, he hadn't been able to persuade or trick the man into explaining himself.

Yoda rained light kisses down Mace's jaw. "Without pain you soon will be."

Mace nodded against his shoulder. "I know. But what about-"

"Help Woda I will."

Mace chuckled. "I'm glad, but that's what I'd expect. What about _you_? Your time on this side of things isn't even close to being done. And before it is, Woda will have moved on with his life. How are you going to take care of yourself?"

He couldn't answer that, and so he closed his eyes and gave all his warmth to his lover. He was crying again; he let the tears fall. They didn't negate or hurt his connection to the Force.

oOo

Anakin stood, stretched. His shoulders were stooped; the healing burns had fused half his body together, it seemed. He didn't complain; he was lucky to be alive and in possession of his mind. He knew that now.

"All right, now what?" he asked the stillness of Dagobah. "Where do I go from here, and when I get there, what do I do?"

"Anakin! _Anakin-Anakin-Anakin!_"

He turned, shocked. "Woda?" His little brother was Yoda-sized now, a blue Yoda without white hair. Anakin started to drop to one knee, but Woda catapulted himself into the Jedi's arms and hugged the breath out of him.

Anakin didn't wince, though his muscles all ached and he couldn't seem to find his balance completely. He caught himself with an effort and simply clung to Woda, kissing his cheek and mumbling nonsense in his joy, but mostly just hugging him close and rejoicing to see him again.

"What are you doing here?" Woda demanded, pulling back a little. "Wow, you've been barbequed. How you survive that?" He shook his head. "The Force. That's how." He laughed and hugged Anakin again. "Well? How long have you been here?"

"I'm not sure. I was in healing meditation, not all for my body." He was crying; he let himself. "Woda, you look good. You've grown up."

"Yup. Really fast, too." Woda was kissing him now, sloppy, wet kisses. "What are you doing here besides meditating?" He pulled back again. "Obi-Wan's alive."

Anakin nodded. "I don't have that assurance from the Force, but I'm hopeful. What about Papa and… Daddy? Mace?" How was he supposed to say it?

"Papa's fine. Dad doesn't have the Force at all, but he's still alive. He's not going to be for long, but he's definitely alive and Papa's taking care of him." His bright eyes were cast into shadow. "He's not going to be alive long. Dad, I mean. He's… hurt. Badly." He bit his lip hard. "I can't help him. Not even Papa can help him. And the dampness here hurts him all the time."

"I'll come with you. Let's go see them. Maybe…" But he couldn't give any false hope. "Come on. Lead the way."

Woda jumped down and started walking at his side. Walking, not bouncing. He'd mastered that skill, then, and had made it work for him. Either that or he wanted to take a while to get to wherever he and their parents lived.

Their parents. Yes, Anakin thought of Mace as his father now that the man was most likely dying. And though he'd never gotten the chance to grow up surrounded by their love, he knew what it was like to lose a parent. "Woda, how old are you now?"

"Five? Twenty?" Woda shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'm full-grown according to Papa's species."

"I wasn't asking because I think of you as a child still. I just wanted to know how much time's passed." Anakin sighed. "How long since you left Temple?"

"Almost two years."

_So long. So long._ _Obi…_ "You said Obi's alive. Did you hear that from the Force?"

"Nope." Woda lowered his voice. "He went to Tatooine to take care of Luke."

"Luke?" He stopped walking, feeling like he'd been punched in the stomach. "Luke lived? What about Leia? And what about Padme?"

"Luke's on Tatooine with his uncle."

"Owen."

"Yeah. Leia's with Bail Organa on Alderaan. But Senator Amidala's dead. She died practically in Obi-Wan's arms."

Yes, Woda was certainly grown up. Too much so. He sounded tired. "Woda…" But asking his brother when he'd last smiled would have been pointless. "How did she die?"

"I don't know. The medical droids didn't know, either." Woda stared up at him. "Are you coming?"

Anakin forced himself to walk again. "Can you fill me in on everything that happened after Obi-Wan brought Padme back to Coruscant?"

"He didn't bring her there. He took her to the ship where we were hiding." Woda launched into a quick, terse history. His voice broke a few times, but he sounded remarkably like Yoda and Mace despite his chronological age.

They walked for almost an hour before he'd finished, terseness or not. Then, just when Anakin was thinking to ask how far Woda traveled from his shelter with Yoda and Mace each day, Woda asked, "So, what happened to you? How long have you been here and when'd you get here, anyway?"

"I woke on Fregala. I'm not even sure how I got there. Prince Yeneluk said I'd arrived by autopiloted ship. I was badly burned when I was on Mustafa." He gestured at his craggy face with his charred hand. His metal hand was perfect. "I'm actually pretty surprised you recognized me."

"You feel the same in the Force." Woda frowned. "Not exactly. You feel… stronger. But hurt. Like…" He shrugged and a look of utter frustration crossed his face. "I don't know. I pretend to know all these things I feel, but I just feel them and I can't always put them into words. I guess I'll never be a Jedi Master."

"You're still young," Anakin started, but Woda shook his head violently and bounced forward two paces before settling back into walking.

"I'm not going to be a Jedi Master because that's not what I'm supposed to do. I told Obi-Wan; he said I'd go where the Force wanted me to go, and if that was away from the Jedi Path, then it was for the best." Woda laughed brokenly, so unlike a child that Anakin's heart seized. "That's not exactly what he said, but I've always thought that's what he meant."

He looked up at Anakin and his eyes were a little less troubled. "I did dream about Obi-Wan about six months ago. He was feeding a baby girl. I think that's your daughter. Yours and his."

Anakin's jaw dropped. "He… She lived?" Obi-Wan had finally gotten the child he'd always wanted, the one he could take care of and love?

"Shows what Ni knew," he muttered, feeling an instant of guilt since Ni was dead. But then he said, "Well, Ni said Obi wouldn't have children as long as he was a Jedi. I guess he was right."

"No way." Woda was pissed off, but it was a child's anger and Anakin found it comforting. "Obi-Wan is still Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, a great Jedi Master. He's not General Kenobi anymore, but he never wanted to be General Kenobi. I think he's still the Negotiator, though."

Anakin nodded, thinking of the last time he'd seen Obi-Wan. He could barely remember that battle with Annie. He could barely remember anything from Mustafa, besides the anger that had ruled his heart like a savage rider on a docile steed. "What's her name? Do you know?"

"Nope. I don't know anything except that Obi-Wan loves her." It was Woda's turn to stop. He held up his arms.

Anakin picked him up, holding him close. "I'm sorry I haven't been here."

"You had to be in the Force, I guess." Woda was crying. "I don't want to go back. I just want to steal the ship and go. I don't want to stay here until he dies, but I can't just leave Papa alone."

"He would have the Force. And it's okay if you're not here. Wherever the Force tells you to go, go."

Woda nodded. "Yeah, but it doesn't make my leaving any easier."

Anakin strode on, loving the warm weight of Woda in his arms. "Maybe leaving without saying good-bye isn't such a good idea, though."

Woda nodded. "I know. And it's not like it'd be easier in the long term if I do that. It would just be easier right now." He shrugged. "I can say good-bye; it'll be easier now that you're here."

Five minutes later, they were outside the hollowed-out tree (nothing like the one where Anakin had spent so long) that was so far from the Jedi Temple that Anakin felt briefly dizzy. How could they have all come to this?

Anakin touched the door, but hesitated. That was foolish; Yoda surely sensed he was standing out here. But he was afraid to see his parents because the sooner he saw them, the sooner he would be suggesting that they let Woda go, and that Woda go with him. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he was finally being urged to leave this place: get healthy and strong in body somewhere else.

Woda hopped out of his arms and pushed the door open. "Papa? Daddy?" He walked in like a penatant seeking untold-of mercy. "Anakin and I are home."

Still standing outside, Anakin saw the place under the tree as a warm and welcoming den, much like the dining room where he and Padme had eaten dinner on Naboo years ago. _Before I confessed my love,_ he thought. _Before I realized he was doing right by following the Force in all things, even where Dooku was concerned. _

The walls were unfinished- the inner bark showed- but the floor was covered with layers of woven mats that surely acted both as absorbers for the water and insulators. A fire pit occupied one corner, and here it was that Mace's pallet rested. Mace stood beside it, and beside him stood Yoda.

Anakin took a hesitant step inside, not wanting to let the heat of the fire out, and the door closed behind him. "I…" He smiled. "Two years of meditating and I can't think of anything to say."

None of his ragged family was overly thin or weak. Even Mace looked like himself, though the Force that flowed all around him and defined him as a living being wasn't affected by him. The Force was in him, all around him, but now he was like all the other non-Force-sensitives Anakin had met.

Yoda took a step, leaning on his gimmer stick. "Anakin." He held out one of his hands and Anakin felt the slight pull of the Force.

He went to Yoda, knelt, and took his papa into his arms. He glanced up, meeting Mace's gaze, and the older man sat down beside him. With Woda nestling close between Akain and Mace, they made a perfect little circle.

Almost perfect. Anakin was crying. All of them were, though maybe a slight case of shiny-eye from Mace couldn't quite be called tears.

"Well you are," Yoda said. "And here with news you are." He drew back. "Stronger in the Force you are." He nodded. "Ask what you must."

Anakin closed his eyes for a moment, realizing that Yoda knew why he was here, and that, in the scheme of things, they didn't have much time. He gathered his courage. Opened his eyes. "I need to take the ship. I don't want to trap you here, but-"

"What you want matter does not." Yoda looked at his youngest son. "Leave with you Woda will."

Woda gaped. "It's not like I want to-"

Yoda scowled, but it was Mace who cuffed the little blue yoda-ling. "Don't lie," he ordered in a voice roughened by continuous pain.

Woda blushed- his cheeks turning a deeper, darker blue- and said, "I want to leave, but the Force commands it, too.\

Mace nodded.

"Stay with Anakin for awhile you will," Yoda said.

It was Woda's turn to nod. "I'm sorry," he said, and he looked up at Mace. "I don't want to leave you here to die."

Anakin's chest tightened. The child that Woda had been was absolutely gone.

Mace drew Woda close and kissed the top of his head as he had doubtless done to Yoda since time out of mind. A comforting gesture that he'd maybe bestowed on only these two beings out of all those that had crossed his path. "Be at peace about that as much as possible. I'm not long for this world; my pain will soon be over. Comfort yourself with that. And with this: I'm loved, just like you are." He kissed Woda between his ears again. "Besides the Force, that's the only thing that's never going to change."

Yoda rose from Anakin's lap as if this was his cue. "Woda, walk with me will you?"

Woda blinked, obviously confused. "I… Sure, but do we have time?"

Yoda smiled. "We need to be out of the way for a few minutes. These two need to talk." He chuckled. "Hmmph. Old you may feel, but some things you still do not know."

Anakin watched them go, parent and child, Jedi and non-Jedi (but as something just as firmly in the Force). Then, when they were alone, he turned back to Mace.

"The love you share with Obi-Wan is the same. It will never ebb, never disappear. And in its fundamental nature, it will never change. You will perceive it differently; I think right now Obi-Wan may not even be able to feel his love for you in all its intensity." He grasped Anakin's shoulder. "Don't look for him. You'll be led to him when it's time, and that time isn't even close. Understood?"

Anakin nodded. "I want so badly to see him," he said, and his chest tightened again, "but I'll follow the Force first. I promise."

"I know." He smiled, then, and it transformed his face. It was possible to believe that he wasn't hurt, hadn't been separated from the Force. "When you see Obi-Wan, give him our blessings. And take those blessings for yourself." His voice didn't drop, didn't change at all, and neither did his expression, but Anakin knew something was coming. "I won't last the night. Yoda and I have made peace with that truth. He's telling Woda now. I didn't want to lie to you."

_Even by omission,_ Anakin thought. "Are you going to kill yourself?"

"No." Mace's eyes narrowed. "I thought you knew me better than that. Yoda is simply going to stop trying to keep the pain- and the causes of that pain- at bay. By tending my injuries, he's sending beacons out into the Force and we can't be found here. Darth Vader will pass Dagobah soon on her way to find what she thinks is her happiness."

Anakin's skin shrank over his bones and he shuddered, wincing. "Papa said so?"

"Yes. You and Woda must be long gone before that happens."

Anakin nodded. What else could he do? He felt the truth of all of Mace's words in his very core. "May the-" He stopped. Mace didn't have the Force. He couldn't `speak the old words. And it wasn't as if they were going to ever meet again.

"And with you," Mace said. He leaned close and placed a kiss on Anakin's forehead. "That's for you." He repeated the gesture. "That's for Obi-Wan. Give it to him from me and from Yoda. Please." A small shadow flitted across his face. "I spent so long misjudging and not caring for him but in many of the ways that truly mattered, he was as much my son as you and Woda, as Ahleh and Yace, too, ever were." He rose. "They're coming back."

Anakin blinked, about to ask how Mace knew without the Force, but then he heard the creak of the door and figured Mace had heard other things: footsteps, breathing, whatever else he'd learned to listen for as he lived and loved Yoda for so long.

He wiped his eyes and steeled himself for the final farewell.

oOo

Yoda couldn't curl up in Mace's arms; that would cause his lover, his husband, the man who had become so much of his soul too much pain. So he sat beside Mace and held his hand. "Love you I do." He had spoken the words fifty times and more in the hours since Anakin and Woda had left Dagobah. He couldn't say anything else, it seemed, and as he had never feared many things in his life he feared the silence that would come all too soon. The silence that would touch his ears and the silence in the Force as half his heart died.

Mace's face was streaked with sweat; his eyes were open, as though he wanted to make sure Yoda was the last sight he saw. He didn't speak; he didn't have the strength for much more than a fierce grip on Yoda's hand.

Yoda felt this in the Force.

The air behind Mace shimmered but Yoda didn't look. "Hello, Master Qui-Gon."

Mace blinked, but then the ghost of a smile crossed his lips. He squeezed Yoda's hand a little tighter for a moment.

"_I came to see him over into the Force," _Qui-Gon said.

Tears filled Yoda's eyes. "Cross over he cannot. Disconnected-"

"_No," _Qui-Gon said. He crouched, in that strange way spirits had, beside Yoda. _"No. He's coming with me and everything will be well. I wish I could explain it to you, but I'm not supposed to." _He sighed. _"Damn rules, except I can't break them now. I know why they're here." _

His voice was tinged with self-mockery but Yoda couldn't bring himself to help him.

Mace spoke, shocking him. "Let go of your pain, Qui-Gon. You can't have him and your pain is killing him."

"_Killing who?"_

"Obi-Wan."

"Hear him you can!" Yoda's mouth felt numb. His excitement was an unbridled horse. "Mace-"

"Peace," Mace whispered, and his voice was fading. He was shivering. "Qui-Gon, let Obi-Wan go or you're going to be responsible for much more than his soul-death." He stiffened as every muscle knotted. "Now, back off." He fumbled for Yoda's shoulders; he yanked his lover against his chest and plundered his mouth with his tongue. Drawing back half an inch, he breathed, "May the Force be with you. I'll see you again. I promise."

With death standing at his shoulder, so to speak, Yoda found that his tears were suddenly far away. "Believe you I do. May the Force be with you." He kissed Mace hard, and so, in that intimate way, felt him pass.

oOo

Darth Vader stalked to the woman's door. Everyone was ordered to stay away from this room, but she still kept the door locked. Even though no one dared cross her, she wouldn't lessen her guard. She would never lessen her guard. This woman was nothing but a birth-sow; soon the child inside her would be strong enough to survive outside the woman's body; she didn't matter. But no one needed to know that. When the woman died, the Sith would find a way to make it look like someone else's fault so she could make an example of that someone. She hadn't decided who she would blame the murder on, only that it wouldn't be a clone that died. The clones were nothing.

She unlocked and opened the door. The woman with the Kenobi eyes looked up from where she lay on the bed. She huddled into herself as Vader strode in. Her mouth opened and closed twice, but maybe she decided speaking wouldn't be wise because she bowed her head and held her tongue.

Annie listened to her manufactured breath echo in the silence and knew the woman was listening, too. Inside herself, she smiled. "You will deliver soon."

"Then you'll kill me."

She didn't sound depressed or frightened, but that would change when the end actually loomed; Annie knew this from her time as a young girl killing fish and small frogs in the pools at Temple.

She said nothing, letting the woman listen to her breathing. That non-silence had already unmanned so many men; it would work here, too, surely.

The woman sat up, her growing abdomen resting on her thighs. "What will you call her?"

"It will be a him," Annie answered without thought. "Obi-" She stopped. No. She couldn't be planning to name a child of hers after the birth-sow who had carried her.

The woman laughed harshly. "No one can escape the Kenobi Curse, even if they're not Keno-" Her eyes widened. "No. You have to be a Kenobi- even a second cousin, like me- to feel it." She laughed again, contemptuously. "Did my Obi-Wan have a son?" Tears of hate and mirth brightened her eyes. "Who raped him?"

Annie spun, trying to keep her posture relaxed, desperately glad that her face couldn't be seen. She fled the room. She wouldn't approach the woman again until it was time to remove the child and then rip the bitch's head off.

Even through the soundproof door, the woman's laughter seemed to follow her.


	63. Learning 2

**Author's Note:** There's one more 'Learning' chapter, then we should be in _A New Hope. _Question for my readers: How do you spell Jabba the Hutt? I haven't been able to find a definitive answer. Thanks!

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- I) Pg. 1291

Five Years (The Fall of the Jedi- II) Pg. 1313

Five Years (No Time for Grief) Pg. 1325

Five Years (Coming to the Stand-Off) Pg. 1355

Learning (1) Pg. 1390

Learning (2) Pg. 1411

Learning (3) Pg. 1430

Learning (2)

"Talk to me." Five-year-old Leighna Kenobi stamped her foot and glared up at her papa. "Shash says you used to talk."

Obi-Wan gazed at her from where he sat on the workbench. A half-dismantled moisture-collector lay around him. As always, his expression was unreadable.

Leighna might have doubted Shash- sometimes she wondered if the furry animal could really even talk, or if that was her imagination- but her heart said her papa hadn't always been so silent and brooding. And not always so old, either. Once, his hair had been red instead of grey. Once, he hadn't been wrapped so tightly inside himself and inside the Force that dictated his every movement.

"Youngling, what's there to talk about? Your lessons are done; you wanted to play with Shash." He lowered his gaze back to his work.

Leighna stamped her foot again. "Look at me."

Her papa raised his head slowly. Now he was frowning. "Don't try Force-compulsion with me, youngling."

"Talk to me!"

He sighed. He was always sighing, like just the sight of her exhausted him. "What do you want to talk about?"

She hesitated; his eyes were so old, so gone. When he was like this- when was the last time he _wasn't_ like this?- she was afraid to talk to him. But when she glanced at Shash, she saw him nod. That had to be her imagination. Animals didn't nod. Still, she got her courage. She faced her papa, took a step closer, and said, "Tell me about when you were a little boy." The Force told her that If she wanted her papa really to talk, she needed to be sweet. So she opened her dark eyes that were so unlike his, opened them very wide, and asked, "Please?"

He stared at her; at that moment, he was all there behind his eyes. She could read his surprise as clearly- more clearly- than if he'd spoken of it. "Why?" He fumbled the part he was holding; it hit their stone floor. For right now, he didn't seem to care that he might have damaged it, though if _she_ had dropped anything he would have given her a lecture on the importance of being careful with the few things they had.

"_Because-_" the Force told me to ask. She swallowed that truth; it wasn't what would reach him. "Because I want to know him."

"Who? I knew many 'hims' when I was a youngling. Do you mean Qui-Gon? Youngling, you've met him. He's come here often to help us both train."

She was losing him; she saw that in his eyes. "Not him."

"Yoda?" He was losing interest by the moment.

Her panic and despair rose like a tide- something she'd heard about, but never seen- and then the Force filled all the aching places and she said calmly, "Anakin." Not _my father_, though that's what he was, but _Anakin._

The name had power; her papa's eyes refocused. "I've never told you his name. Did Qui-Gon-?"

She shook her head. "Nope, the Force."

He was silent for a moment, but he didn't retreat into himself. Instead, he set all the parts aside and stood. Then he came to her, crouched before her, and said, "Leighna, why?"

She kept the sweetness pouring out. "Please, Papa?"

His gaze darkened, not with grief but with the shadow of some great weight. At five, Leighna couldn't know this, but she felt a dim part of it in the Force and though she didn't have a name for it, she didn't need one.

Seemingly drained, he said, "First you asked about my childhood, then you asked about Anakin. Which do you want to hear?"

"Both. Please. They're…" She couldn't think of the word 'connected' and felt her fear rising. If she didn't say the right thing, she would lose him again. And, truth be told, she wanted to know, more than anything, why he was in so much pain all the time and why he was so old and why he was so very strong in the Force but weak in the things she thought mattered. He was weak in talking to her, and his laughter was always dying. The Force commanded her not to ask any of these things, but she wouldn't have, anyway. Those questions would only make him close up like he'd done every other time she tried. Today she'd made a hole in the rock; she needed to keep going.

"They're linked? Is that what you mean? I have to tell one to tell the other?"

That was right, but she kept the sweetness going. She wasn't going to tell him what to do, even if that was what had gotten him to finally listen. Telling him wasn't the right thing to do now; begging was the right thing. "Please?"

He took her hand as he rose to his full height, stooped height. "All right." Then he did something he hadn't in months: he bent and scooped her into his arms. He even went so far as to kiss the top of her head. "We can sit outside and watch the suns set."

Leighna hugged her papa tight and peeked back over his shoulder. Shash was following. She grinned at her friend and it seemed he grinned back.

oOo

"Papa?"

Obi-Wan awoke at once, never having lost his training. His eight-year-old daughter called him; he sat up and met her gaze. He smiled to find her bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. Every day she reminded him more of Anakin.

His chest ached with that thought and he put up a shield against the pain, hoping his smile hadn't changed.

But of course she saw his suffering; she always did. He'd started wondering, back when she was five and she'd drawn him a little out of himself that first time, if she was meant to be a healer. Only her restless energy kept him from steering her in that direction.

She crouched in imitation of one of his favorite postures. "Tell me about Garen please?"

Every week she came with a new name for him, a question about someone he'd mentioned in passing or someone, like Anakin, that he hadn't mentioned at all. He had ceased to wonder at her knowledge; her connection to the Force reminded him of the one he'd had as an infant and toddler. And, of course, he was reminded, sharply, of Anakin.

He tried not to think about Anakin. Leighna and Luke were his concerns now. There was nothing he could do for a lover- it hurt even to think that word- who was alive but whom he might never see again. It seemed a cruel joke: now that he had the child he'd always wanted, he had no lover at his side to help raise her.

He kept nothing from her, and so he said, "We went through Temple training together: Garen, Bant, Reeft, Siri and I. Often I was separated from the others because there was so much I needed to learn, but the friendships I formed with them were stronger than the little time we spent together. Sometimes I think we were meant to fit together like the pieces of a puzzle."

He sat up, crossed his legs, and gestured her to sit beside him. She did, imitating his posture, complete with the hands she folded in her lap. Her auburn hair hung to her shoulders in gentle waves, held back from her face with finely-made bone clips that he'd made for her eighth birthday. It had taken him six months and many mistakes to create those clips; she insisted on wearing them each and every day.

"What piece was Garen?"

"The rock. That's not a puzzle-word, but it's the truth. He was our stability. When I was young, I thought the rock was Bant, but when she, Garen and the others came to comfort me on Dagobah after I received the news of Qui-Gon's death, I realized he had been the rock all along. His temper wasn't just even: it was centered. Always. And his words, even when he was seven or eight, seemed to always lay the base for what the rest of us came to believe in. He was the first to understand the Force as a field and not as a god. He was also the first to truly understand what it meant to be mortal."

Leighna brushed distracting auburn strands from her forehead. "Why?"

"He was the only one who remembered his parents. They lived right on Coruscant and with Yoda's permission came to see him often. They were actually his adoptive parents: his father, who had been from Corellia, a planet known for its unconventional problem-solvers, had been a Jedi. He had taken a wife, a woman from Coruscant. They died in a terrible battle shortly after Garen was born; he went to live with the wife's good friends, who adopted him."

"What battle?"

Obi-Wan didn't lie to her, but he sometimes told her to ask him painful questions at another time. He considered doing this now, but because it bore on another part of Garen's story, he didn't. "Remember Xanatos? Xane?"

She nodded, making a face. "I can't see how you could ever forgive him."

"Peace," he admonished. "Don't hate a man you never met."

She sighed heavily and fidgeted before remembering her training and settling in again. "I know. So, did he kill them or something?"

"No, but the world Xanatos came from- Telos- was in the midst of war. Garen's father had gone there as a negotiator." He'd read this account more than once; Garen had shown it to him when they were both eight. He knew it so well he felt he'd almost been there. "His mother had gone as a healer to tend the wounded. Xanatos and Qui-Gon were there; Xanatos had just become Qui-Gon's padawan. Xanatos plotted with his father, who led an army, to kill a Jedi and blame it on the other side, thus perpetuating the war."

Leighna's hands fisted, but before Obi-Wan could say anything, she breathed out, releasing her tension into the Force.

_Maybe she's better than Anakin was at this age,_ he thought, and felt another stab to his heart.

He spoke quickly to put it behind him. "He might not have been so affected by the deaths of his biological parents if his adoptive parents hadn't died in a very similar battle. They were civilians, too; Garen always said that made it worse. He knew about mortality, and he passed that knowledge on to the rest of us. If I had to choose a phrase for him now that summed up how he affected me, it would be this: 'all die, but there is comfort in this, for though all die, most of those also truly live.' "

His daughter was still and silent for a moment. At last, she took one of his hands in both of her small ones. "We are truly alive."

Thinking of Anakin again, thinking of all he'd lost to come to this place, Obi-Wan said nothing.

oOo

Teenage Leighna was so different from teenage Anakin that it hurt less and less to watch her even as she grew, more and more, to resemble her father physically.

That was a relief in a world that had shrunk to nothing more than pain and obligation. Obvious obligations like watching Luke, and the less obvious ones, like listening to Qui-Gon talk about Jedi history nearly every night. Obi-Wan didn't resent the talks; he knew he was meant to learn something from them. But he'd ceased to look forward to Qui-Gon's visits by the time Leighna was three.

One evening, in the year that Leighna was thirteen, he stood alone overlooking the Skywalker farm; the suns were setting behind him like hearts ablaze. "And here it's a decade later," he told the coming night, "and I'm all but dreading seeing him again."

Someone was coming; he felt it like a breeze against his neck. He turned, casual-seeming, and saw thirteen-year-old Leighna walking towards him over the shifting sand. Her face was in shadow and her hair was a red fire about her head and just above her shoulders. Walking towards him like this, she looked like Annie.

His heart twisted as he left the top of the dune and met her where Own couldn't see them. "Is something wrong?" He could see her face now that he was closer and so he was treated to the pain that dragged across her eyes like a bantha lugging half a house. "Leighna-"

She glared at him as her pain gave way to anger. "He's waiting for you and you're still here?" Her voice was low and intense. "Fuck running away from him; fuck him for hurting you. But fuck you a hundred times over for not _living_." She turned away from him and told the desert, "It's been getting worse, you know; you've been shutting out everything you feel unless we talk about something that happened in your life a long time ago. I like hearing stories, but I want _you_ here. I want my fucking father in my life."

She hadn't taken much of Tatooine's language into herself, but apparently she had decided that 'fuck' was the best word to explain how she felt. As he watched the pain and anger fight for supremacy in her eyes, Obi-Wan had to agree. "Leighna, Anakin is-"

She spun to face him. "I mean you," she all but snarled. "You're the only father, the only family, I've ever known. Qui-Gon doesn't count, not when you so obviously want to be free of him. All the Jedi who are gone definitely don't count. I want the you that wanted _me_. You wanted children? Here I am. You wanted love? Here I fucking _am_. You don't have to be with him to be all right; you don't have to be emotionally dead to be the Jedi protector you were assigned to be." Tears brightened her beautiful eyes. "And you don't have to use the Force so much that it's sucking away your life. From what you've told me, you're barely fifty. And I thought the Jedi could live for centuries, that the Force would stop their growth at a chosen time and they would stay that physical age for _centuries_. But you're _old_." She sobbed, hugging herself. Turning away again, she said in a dead tone, "I don't know why I bother. I've tried so hard to reach you; I've been trying for years. It was good at first; at first, you listened. But then Shash died and it was like you died the rest of the way when he left us.

He gaped at her stiff back, so heartsore that he didn't think he could just push it back, at least not right away. In a way, this was like being back under the B'yrch trees, powerless because he'd been poisoned. No, worse: like knowing Anakin was suffering from being raped and not being able to reach him. He could barely breathe, but he tried to speak nonetheless. "Leighna-"

"Don't you even remember why you gave me that name?"

His throat was parched. "It means Light."

She started away from him, her arms still crossed. "You called me Leighna because you wanted a memory of everything that was good, not just between you and Anakin, but between you and your whole life. I wasn't the answer to prayer because the Jedi don't believe in that sort of thing, but if they did, that's what I'd be. You've always wanted children; you called it the Kenobi Curse. But it doesn't have to be a curse. Especially now that you've supposedly gotten just what you wanted."

He gave chase, striding beside her because he wasn't able yet to speak or touch her. His ears rang.

She didn't look at him. "I don't know how to get you to do the right thing, but I know you aren't doing it right now. You're so deep in the Force that the physical world means nothing to you. And you telling me stories in which you open up just doesn't cut it anymore. Stories aren't the real world. You telling me you love me isn't real, either. You don't love anything anymore, not even the Force, not even duty. You've become a Storm Trooper, an unfeeling clone."

She was crying again; the shine of tears painted her pale cheeks pink in the light of the fading suns' light.

He couldn't speak, but his heartache, terrible as it was, wasn't blocking out her words or even muffling them. He felt each at his core, twisting, cutting, trying to force new thoughts into his head.

"If you let yourself actually feel everything-"

"Wait." His hands, as if acting on their own, had caught her shoulders. He turned her towards him. "I'm not hiding from my pain. I know everything about it, and-"

"And you're not confronting it. You hate it that Qui-Gon can't move on. And you do hate it; you're far past having it just bother you. But the reason you hate that Qui-Gon hasn't moved on is because you wish you could feel that kind of desperate love for Anakin again. But you can't because you've given up on everything you ever believed in."

She was screaming now.

"I want the Jedi Master that wanted children so badly that he considered being with a prince he didn't really love, considered leaving the Jedi Order to have children. I want the Jedi Master who force-kissed Anakin Skywalker while Anakin was still reeling from and denying his reaction to being raped. That's the Jedi Master I want to meet: General Obi-Want Kenobi, the Negotiator. But he's gone; he's _gone_. And I'll never get to really meet him because he's so determined to protect my life by giving himself over to the Force- using the Force to keep me hidden- that he doesn't have a life of his own. He's become a fucking shell and he doesn't even believe it, not even now. That's the man I'm stuck with." She whispered, "He's not the one who wanted children; that Obi-Wan Kenobi is long dead."

Her shoulders under his hands were warm. _She's alive,_ he thought inanely. _She isn't a dream. She is my daughter and she isn't a dream. _A pause, so complete that he wasn't conscious of anything around or inside him, and then: _None of this is a dream. Not damnation or salvation, either. It's just…_

She pulled away from him, and dimly he sensed that she had thrown up her shields, the ones he'd taught her, at two years old, to construct. Her shields were stronger than any he'd ever seen from a youngling.

He struggled to articulate some of this and failed miserably. "You weren't my youngl- my daughter. Not in the way I wanted."

She sneered at him, Anakin's eyes flashing under the tumble of his own auburn bangs. "That would be _your_ fault. _Father._"

His mind jumped to Qui-Gon waiting for them, for _him_, back in what he still thought of as a cave, not as their home. Again, as always, he flinched from that thought. "Leighna-"

She took two steps back and her shields were offensive things, almost seeming to lash out in an attempt to keep him away. "Fuck. You. Ben." Her beautiful eyes narrowed. "I'm going home. If you don't want to see him, stay away." She strode past him, staring straight ahead, arms swinging, posture tall, fluid and perfect, like so many of the Jedi he had known. She didn't look back.

Unable to do otherwise, he watched her until she disappeared.

Then, without a clear thought in his head, he turned for Mos Eisley.

oOo

The ship might not hold together for another hyperspace jump, but it had to. Anakin was underneath the front console; outside, Woda was under what would have passed for the hood in a speeder. Their cargo- two members of the resistance and their tiny son- were huddled together in the back, obeying Anakin's orders to stay out of sight and out of the way.

He hated being like that, but his scarred face and the husky rasp of his voice that had never quite healed worked well to convey his negative emotions and serious orders. Besides, he didn't want to show too many positive emotions to anyone but Woda. Their cargo might be resistance fighters; they might not. He was inclined to believe they were safe: his intuition was strong as ever. But caution had become his traveling buddy (an amusing little phrase Woda had picked up on Corellia that they were both saying now).

He didn't have the money together to get the parts he needed; he refused to steal them. Woda might have had the money, but he and Anakin weren't working together all the time anymore and he had his own projects. Sure, his younger brother would have helped him if he'd asked, but Woda had delved deep into the resistance and he was shuttling money and supplies all over the worlds just inside the Outer Rim. He'd made both friends and enemies and Anakin had long ago been forced to either make peace with his brother's way of fighting the Dark Side or go crazy trying to protect him from every jumping shadow.

It would have been harder to let Woda go if Anakin hadn't spent almost ten years as his travelling buddy. They'd cut a swath of discreet destruction all through the Empire. They avoided only those places where they expected Darth Vader or Emperor Palpatine to be. All right, so Anakin had tried to make sure they avoided those places where Obi-Wan might be, too, but only because the Force told him it wasn't time yet.

"Well?" Woda demanded, popping his head into the cockpit. His ears twitched with agitation. "That's as good as it's going to get out there. And we'll have company in about three minutes."

Anakin reconnected several wires and then sat up. "Let's go."

Woda hit the close on the hatch as he bounced in. "I'll get them up here." He disappeared into the back of the ship as Anakin started the engines.

His blood sang as it always did when he was about to fly. The time, place or circumstances had never, would never, matter. When he was flying, he reclaimed the Knight he'd been when he and Obi-Wan were at the height of their love and partnership as the Republic's top Jedi team.

The engines rumbled below him, shaking the floor, and it wasn't a perfect purr, but it was close enough. He lifted into the air and headed straight for the atmosphere.

Woda corralled the family into the cockpit, pointing out chairs. "You will be safer up here," he told them in a voice that sounded so much like a cross between Yoda and Mace that sometimes Anakin's heart sobbed..

They hit the atmosphere and broke through it like a fish shattering the surface of a lake. And, yes, there were other ships waiting up here, but Anakin had engaged the hyperdrive before they could get off more than a few shots, and thanks to the shields he and Woda had installed five or six years ago, those struck like feathers instead of boulders.

When they were in hyperspace and relatively safe, Anakin turned halfway around in his chair so he could keep an eye on the instruments and talk to the family. Woda sat in the copilot's seat half-meditating. He'd been doing that a lot more frequently since they'd teamed up again last week. Anakin hadn't made the opportunity to ask him about it, but mostly because Woda approached each half-meditation time with a startling and incongruous combination of peace and ferocity. Until his brother had decided which emotion ruled, Anakin would wait.

He addressed the wife, surprised that she was so young, but not too surprised: women from Naboo tended to mature faster than many others. Padme had been queen at fourteen. True, the woman hadn't said she was from Naboo, but she had that look. "We will be back on Alderaan in less than eight hours," he told her. Maybe he should be speaking to both of them, but she'd struck him from the first as the dominant personality even though her husband was maybe as much as ten years older and no pushover.

"Reeft," the husband said, using the name Anakin had given them, "I need to know-"

His wife touched his hand. "We will land on the pre-arranged plain," she told Anakin, surely turning her husband's demand into a statement.

"Of course," he answered. And now, giving into what _he'd_ wanted to know since he'd taken their request on. "Do you know many of the royal family on Alderaan?"

The two exchanged a look. In the man's arms, the little boy looked between his parents and smiled.

_He looks completely like the father,_ Anakin thought, and his heart tightened. He wanted to see his little girl, the one he'd never met, that he was actually considering risking going to the palace on Alderaan, finding Bail Organa and at last meeting his thirteen-year-old Leia.

Maybe she wasn't really his; he'd only fathered her. But she was the product of love, if not the romantic, all-consuming fire he still felt for his Obi, but the love of the Force that had compelled both he and Padme to bring the twins into existence.

"Why?" the woman- girl, really- asked. She couldn't be much older than Leia and Luke. She didn't exactly glare at him, but her intentions were very clear in her eyes: _Unless you have a very good reason, and I decide I can trust you, I'm not telling you a thing._

He respected her for that. "I used to work with the Senate. Bail Organa was one of the few who truly understood all that Palpatine was planning." He paused and for no reason he could name added, "He and Padme Amidala were the best of the best."

Her eyes darkened for a moment and he thought she might have actually been surprised. But then she blinked and the look was replaced by an icy coolness. He had a feeling that he'd been treated to more than she showed most people.

Her husband said, "We don't know any of them. We're not rich or powerful; we just want to help."

She glanced at him, took his hand, squeezed it, let go. It was a friendly gesture.

Anakin turned away from them so they wouldn't see the realization in his eyes: these two weren't married. They weren't related in any way. What had happened to the youngling's real mother? Why was the girl here in the first place? Was she protecting the man and child or was the man protecting her?

Woda hopped off his seat. "Reeft, set the autopilot."

Anakin hid a smile. Subtle Woda never would be. He did as instructed. "We'll be right back," he told them, "and we'll be here in an instant if something goes wrong, but everything should be fine."

The man said nothing. The girl- she looked like a woman in that moment- looked at him for a moment just short of an eternity. "Bail Organa and his family were doing well when I left."

He felt an absurd urge to bow to her, and because it seemed to come as much from the Force as from his own heart, he did so. "Thank you." Then he followed Woda out.

oOo

It was time. It had been time for almost a month, but Woda had managed to ignore it. Not because he didn't want to see Anakin. Not because he didn't want to see Anakin _happy._ But he'd been busy making a living, making a difference. And it wasn't like he'd been told Anakin had to know _right away_, just _soon_.

But from the moment he'd seen Anakin, he'd been claimed by the Force in a way that had never happened when he was a youngling at Temple. He'd been drawn, again and again, into meditation, and it was in the midst of meditation that he'd seen Obi-Wan for the first time in over a decade.

He hadn't looked good. Sure, his connection to the Force was still singing, but he'd been so old that Woda at first hadn't recognized him. Then he'd seen the master's eyes and he knew. Obi-Wan was still alive, was still doing the will of the Force, but Obi-Wan was no longer truly living.

He turned to face Anakin as soon as he was sure they wouldn't be overheard. He waited, impatient and angry with himself, until Anakin crouched before him. Woda grown to his full height since they'd last parted and that meant they were face-to-face when Anakin crouched.

Anakin's eyes were amused, worried, sad and wise. He was definitely Yoda's son. Definitely Obi-Wan's- Obi-Wan as he used to be and might be again- lover and former padawan. "What's going on?"

No stalling now; hyperspace was supposedly safe, but neither of them wanted to be away from the cockpit for long while on a mission. For Anakin, that was a Jedi-learned thing. For Woda, he'd learned it at the side of Lord Attran Solo, a man who had once brought Obi-Wan halfway across the galaxy and back to Temple, where he belonged. (In many ways, Woda and the lord's son, Han, were brothers, both taking in all that the ancient man wanted to teach them.)

"I had a vision about Obi-Wan. He needs you." Anakin's jaw dropped, but he didn't interrupt. "Not because-" he whispered- "the one he's watching is in danger, but because _he_ is."

"An- Vader?"

Woda shook his head. "It's not a threat outside himself, but it's dangerous for all that. You need to go to wherever he is and help him."

Anakin's hands clutched each other between his knees. His knuckles were white. "Where is he?"

Woda wished he could give a better answer. "I don't know. The visions didn't tell me. They didn't even show more than Obi-Wan in the darkness." He paused, made sure of himself, and then added, "It wasn't Darkness with a capital 'd'. I think I just wasn't meant to see where he was."

"I can't believe Yoda never told me where he went," Anakin muttered. He closed his eyes for a moment and his hands relaxed.

Woda felt the Force come to bear around them and wondered, not for the first time, when Anakin would be allowed to fulfill his destiny and bring balance back to the Force.

"I can't find him," Anakin said after a moment. "But I think that's because he's very well shielded, not because he's… dead." He sighed, re-centering himself. "I'll go find him as soon as this mission's over."

"Nope," Woda said. "That's the other thing I'm supposed to tell you: go as soon as we make planet-fall. Which means as soon as we hit Alderaan. I'll make sure this ship gets fixed and it will be there for you when you come back. But right now, you need to find Obi-Wan." He moved closer, took Anakin's hand. "He's still alive; he's not in danger of dying. But he's in danger of losing his reason for living." He paused again as another truth made itself known: "Even with Leighna, he's losing it."

"Leighna?"

Woda shrugged. "No clue."

Anakin sighed, nodded. "All right. I'm going to stay back here and try to find him." He squeezed Woda's hand. "Thank you."

"I should have told you sooner." Woda smiled, though. "Guess I don't qualify as a master yet."

"Guess not," Anakin said, smiling, but his mind was obviously on Obi-Wan.

"Which is where it's supposed to be," Woda muttered as he headed for the door.

"Huh?" Anakin asked. He was already half-gone; Woda heard it in his voice.

"I'll let you know when we're close," Woda told him.

oOo

Leighna met Luke- actually met, not spied on- for the first time that evening. The kid- so she thought of him- shouldn't have been out on his own in the middle of nowhere, but here he was, thinking he could take on the whole galaxy by himself.

He was watching the stars come out from the relative safety of his dune-speeder. (She knew the people of Tatooine had another name for the vehicle, but it was what her father had always called them and she'd never bothered to remember the other word.)

She might not have approached, but he was being stalked by a large group of Tusken Raiders. He didn't know it; he should, if what she thought she knew from her father's stories was true, but he didn't have any idea. Not for the first time, she wondered why his father had been assigned to guard the kid.

She was armed. She'd learned how to use a lightsaber at almost an expert's halfway through the last year, but she carried a blaster because it wasn't time for the Jedi to return. She stood on a small rise and watched the Raiders approach. If Luke got his ass in gear, they might not catch him. But he just went on sitting there, staring up at the stars.

A little of her anger faded. She was angry at him for being inexperienced, but he wanted to travel. So did she. _And I'm not really mad at Luke, _she reminded herself. _I'm mad at _him_. Them._

Meaning Qui-Gon, too. When she'd gone back to the cave, he'd been waiting, but when he saw Obi-Wan wasn't there, he'd given her little more than a brush-off before disappearing. Sometimes he was so immature. Sometimes she felt like the only adult on Tatooine.

She knelt in the sand, sighting a few feet in front of the lead Raider. She was half-hidden by a rock and so they wouldn't see she was alone. Before firing, she used the Force to send several rocks rolling down from another hill. Then she opened up, not aiming to kill but to frighten.

Several of the Raiders stopped; two fled. And Luke was starting the dune-speeder, but several Raiders came at him despite the fire.

So she quit, closed her eyes for an instant to center herself, and put her hands up to her mouth and loosed a krayt dragon's howl, muffling it so it sounded a little further off than her position. Then she screamed and fired into the darkness away from the Raiders. Holstering her weapon again, she uttered the dragon's cry.

That did it: the would-be stalkers fled.

And still she wouldn't have met Luke, but his dune-speeder coughed and died.

The idiot got out to fix it!

Well, maybe he wasn't an idiot; what else could he do?

She half-skied down the dune and appeared before him just as he was pulling up the hood to take a look at the engine.

He jumped when he saw her and his hand dipped to his belt where there was nothing more than a sort of bantha-prod.

She had hidden her blaster; she raised her hands. "It's all right. That noise was me."

He stared at her. "No, it was a kr-"

She put her hands to her mouth and made it again. "Like that?"

He nodded, looking impressed and impossibly young. "Yeah. Wow. Where'd you learn to do that?"

Not that she wanted to give the ass any credit, but a Jedi was always honest. "My father. He has this thing about languages and that extends to lots of animal noises." As she said it, every story he'd ever told her that involved him speaking another tongue whipped through her head like a scouring wind. Her heart ached and she wanted, suddenly, to go back to sunset before she'd accused him so badly. Sure, he'd deserved it, but it wasn't going to help him and she discovered she wanted him near more than she wanted to take the risk that he might actually learn something and come to what used to pass for his senses.

"Is he a pilot or something?"

"Or something." She looked at the engine, but mechanical stuff wasn't her thing. She'd tried, often, to help her father, but only got frustrated. So she stepped back because, inept as he seemed in terms of looking out for himself, it quickly became obvious that Luke knew how to fix things.

An uncomfortable silence had settled between them and because she had enough of that at home, she tried to break it. "What kind of dune-speeder is this?"

He stared at her for a moment, then laughed. "It's a landspeeder."

"Oh." She felt herself blushing. "Yeah, that's what I meant."

He went back to tinkering with the landspeeder. "What's your name? I'm Luke Skywalker."

_I know who you are. I've been watching you since you were eight years old. And my father's been watching you since you were born. _"Leighna."

He glanced up. "Just Leighna?"

"Just Leighna."

He studied her for a moment, and she could see a Jedi's eyes appraising her. Then he laughed and he was a kid again, so much so that maybe she'd imagined seeing the other look because she _wanted _to see it so badly. She wanted to know that everything that her father had given up actually meant something.

"Okay," he said. "For a minute, you sounded just like my Uncle Owen."

She shrugged. "I gotta go soon as this thing's fixed."

He continued to work; he looked comfortable doing it. And his movements were graceful, like they should be since he was Force-sensitive.

_And yet he couldn't sense danger. He needs serious help._

Luke asked, "What are you doing out alone? Do you need a ride somewhere?"

"No, thanks. I'm fine. I've lived here all my life."

"Me, too, but it's still-"

"Look, Kid, I just saved your life. I know what I'm doing. So you can just-"

_Do not dissuade the offered hand. If you accept it when you only need it a little, it may come back when you need it to save your life._

Her father's words, of course. She sighed. "I'm sorry. That was rude. I'd appreciate a ride." She was going to have to get home soon anyway. Her father was never out all night and as distant as he was in some ways, he did worry about her.

_Too fucking much, considering how little he's really there for me._

He closed the hood and met her gaze levelly. "You really sound like Uncle Owen now. No." He frowned. "Not him, but like he might have sounded if he wasn't so frustrated with me all the time." He gestured to the landspeeder and when he hopped in, she did the same. "It's like I remind him of someone he hates, but he doesn't want to hate me." He laughed. "Yeah, like I don't know who it was. He and my father never saw eye-to-eye."

"Who was your father?"

Luke got the landspeeder smoothly into the air. "He was a freighter pilot."

_That's what you were told?_ She supposed it made sense: Owen Skywalker had never wanted her father around because he was a Jedi. Of course he wouldn't tell Luke what his father had really been.

Her thoughts stuttered, then stalled. She laughed and what should have occurred to her years ago finally made itself known: she and Luke were half-siblings. How could she have gone for so long without thinking about it?

_Maybe something else I can lay at my father's feet. _But she doubted that. This failing was her own.

"What?" He was smiling a little.

"Just thinking about my… mother. She was a, uh, freighter pilot, too." She wondered if those half-truths counted as lying in a Jedi's eyes, decided they did, and cast her guilt into the Force. "Okay, so it wasn't my mother. I have two fathers and people around here around don't like that idea."

"Aunt Beru says that wherever you find true love, that's where you're meant to be."

At least he knew _something_ good. "Yeah. And he wasn't a freighter pilot, either. I'm just not allowed to talk about what he was. Is."

"Is he still alive?"

"Yeah, but I've never seen him. He disappeared months before I was born."

"So why were you laughing? Sounds like he was a-" he dropped his voice comically like he actually thought they might be overheard- "bastard."

"My father- my other one- says he did what he had to do. He still loves him-" _even if he can't feel or show it- _"and I guess that keeps me from being too angry with him." She pointed east. "That way."

He turned the landspeeder and kept going. "My mother's dead. She died giving birth to me. And I don't know what happened to my father, but I'm pretty sure he's dead."

_I wish I could tell you differently. _"My father says that death isn't always the end." All right, another lie: Qui-Gon had said that, not her father. But by the look in Luke's eyes, she thought she might be forgiven that single lie.

"If my father's not dead, he should come back to me," Luke said. But then he glanced at her and blushed. "I'm sorry; yours is still alive and hasn't come back, either."

She wished she could just say, "He's following the Force." Instead, she only shrugged. "It's okay. If he's not meant to be a part of my life, so be it." Clearing her throat, she said, "Maybe another mile, then I'll get off and walk. My father's a very secretive person. He doesn't want anyone to know where we live."

"Why?"

She judged she could tell the truth here, mostly because he wouldn't believe it. "He was very big when the Empire was a Republic and he would be hunted down if it was known he's still alive."

oOo

Obi-Wan wasn't noticed at first. Mos Eisley was crowded, and he had used the Force to keep from being seen by all but the most observant. Still, he felt jumpy and watched, as though every Dark Force user had congregated here and wanted him dead.

It was guilt; he knew that. He felt it; it sucked at his heels. But he couldn't see past the guilt to a solution. Coming here, giving himself some space from the familiar surroundings of the cave, was supposed to help.

"My judgment must be off."

And that was a cop-out (strange how he picked up some of the words Leighna found so interesting even when he didn't think he'd been listening). His judgment wasn't off; _he _was off and had been for years.

More guilt. But this time, he saw something through it: a desolate and agonized way of living that would never end, never ease up. Had he been living in the midst of so much pain all this time? Yes, but it hadn't just seemed like the only thing to do: it had seemed like the right, noble and 'suffering Jedi' thing to do. Translation: he'd thought he was exalted and honorable for being in so much pain.

Standing at the head of an alley, wrapped in deep shadow, Obi-Wan's eyes were opened. Not all the way- it would take two more miracles for that- but more than they'd been since the Jedi fell. "I've been a pompous ass," he told the uncaring bricks, shadows and filth.

A soft chuckle sounded behind him. "That won't stop me from jumping you, old man."

Obi-Wan didn't turn. "Leave me alone," he told the would-be attacker, putting only a touch of Force-suggestion into his voice. He didn't think he'd need more than that; no one here ever questioned him.

A blaster settled into the middle of his back. "Can't. You're easy prey."

Unconcerned with the weapon and occupied with what he must do to be himself again, Obi-Wan let go of some of the Force he'd been exerting as a shield. Leighna would be less hidden; he himself would be less hidden. But it wasn't right for him to immerse himself in the Force to the point that it sucked away not just his energy but his very years. Since he'd come to Tatooine, he'd been living more like a Sith than a Jedi. That thought turned his blood to ice.

Casually, because the one with the blaster was obviously waiting for an answer, he said, "Easy prey with no money. If you want the shirt on my back, take it. It's all I have of value."

"I want what my employer wants," the man said. "And that's entertainment." He poked Obi-Wan in the back. "Move."

_Enough of this nonsense. I have better things to do. _(The second miracle was still an hour or more away and so he was still half-buried in himself.) He brought much more Force-command into his voice. "Let me go."

The man shoved him forward a step. "Move, or I'll knock you out and drag you through the streets by your robes. My employer wouldn't like it if I messed up her toy by dragging you by your hair." He snorted. "Not that your hair's much to look at, so maybe she wouldn't-" He jabbed Obi-Wan again.

The Jedi walked. He could easily knock this man into next week, but would he reveal his Force-sensitivity to the wrong person? He'd given up a little of the Force protection he'd put around himself, and that was right, but now he felt naked. "Who is your employer?"

Another snort. "Madda the Hutt. You could say she believes in the females of her race being equal to the males."

Which, of course, was not a common Hutt belief. Females were seen as property. But Obi-Wan knew Madda; they had traded his translation abilities for goods a few times. She had seemed to be a shunned and courageous person; maybe that was why he'd felt drawn to her. "She won't want me," he said, but didn't bother to elucidate. The owner of the blaster wouldn't believe him and he was in no real danger. Might as well go to Madda, bow to her, offer his translation skills again, and watch as the man with the blaster received a dressing-down.

_Would I enjoy that? Watching him humiliated, maybe even punished? _His skin shrank and he broke out in a sweat. Had he fallen so far into the Darkness without seeing it until now?

"I've often been Lady Madda's translator," he said in a mostly-steady voice. "She will not want-"

The blaster connected, hard, with the back of his head and Obi-Wan dropped into unconsciousness without time for even a surprised protest.

oOo

Anakin bowed to the man and woman, but his mind was taken up with Obi-Wan. Seconds before they'd finally landed, he'd received his first clear picture of Obi-Wan in years: his lover lay in a dark street while some man with a blaster towered over him. Anakin's heart hadn't answered this image with fear but with mild surprise. What was Obi-Wan playing at? Was he pretending to have fallen before such an amateur for some purpose? And what purpose could that possibly be?

He straightened and looked from the man to the woman. "You're safe now. But I need your help. I need to borrow a ship. My partner will stay here, fix this ship, and it's the one I take when I return. But time is of the essence."

"What have you heard?" the man asked.

"Please don't ask me." It was a polite way of saying 'none of your business' and he found that even though it would never be his first inclination to be so stiffly polite, it tended to make things much easier.

"You're back!" A woman with graying hair but still quite a spring in her step jogged across the platform to where the little group (minus Woda, who was already tinkering under the hood again) stood.

The girl-woman met her a little distance away, embraced her, and whispered something in her ear.

The older woman nodded, brushed the girl-woman aside and now her gaze was on Anakin. "You look familiar, young man."

He didn't feel young. And he prayed she didn't recognize him. Hadn't he been burned badly enough that most wouldn't know him from his long-ago pictures on the HoloNet? And that must have been where she saw him because he'd never met her before.

"Mom, he's just a ferryman," the woman said, using an ancient term that Anakin didn't understand until he practiced Obi-Wan's old trick of breaking a word down into its simpler parts. "He's no one you'd know."

The older woman brushed past her daughter and approached Anakin. "Yes, I know you, though not personally."

He took a step back. "Madam, I just need to borrow a ship. Then I'll be on my way."

The girl-woman caught her mother's arm. "He's not-"

"You've been touched by the Negotiator," the older woman whispered.

Anakin's jaw dropped. He labored to get it back where it was supposed to be. "Madam-"

"Mom, he's not _anyone_," the daughter said. "Come; you need to rest." She looked to Anakin. "She's been unwell. _I_ know you're not connected to any dead Jedi."

Her expression was impossible to read; Anakin chose to accept her words at face value, if only because that would help him get to Obi-Wan that much faster. "Is there a ship I can borrow, my lady?"

She nodded and turned her mother away. "Darling," she said to the man, "can you find him a ship? Mother needs to rest."

The man, looking confused but compliant, nodded. "Yes, Y- dear." He gestured for Anakin to follow him and strode away.

Anakin glanced at the older woman one last time, but her daughter was keeping her in deep conversation. Shrugging off the strangeness of it all, breathing a sigh of relief that he hadn't been found out, he headed for a new ship.


	64. Learning 3

**Author's Note: **This is a thank-you to all my dedicated readers who have been patient with me, and also to those who have been patient and gently nudged me. I've been insanely busy- grad school; ahh!- but I should be done by May and then things will be a little more back to normal. I have started the chapter after this one, but no promises about when it will be done beyond this: end of January at the latest- Semester Break is a wonderful thing. Be well.

Title of the next chapter: Snapshots (2)

Learning (3)

Obi-Wan woke with a great weight sitting on his chest. It was hard for him to breathe. He didn't open his eyes but sent out his senses. He was chained, but that wasn't a problem. He was naked; that would also not be a problem, provided he could find clothes so he could escape into the desert night (if night it still was) without risk of freezing to death. His connection to the Force told him that there were five people around him, including the one sitting on his chest, and that four were Force-sensitive. At least one of them was a Dark Force user. He would have to be careful; showing himself as strong in the Force could be a mistake.

He had a few things going for him, though: he could smell Hutt overlaid by peppermint. That almost surely meant he was in Madda's presence. Even if she had put him in this position he might be able to trade on their business relationship. Another positive was that he didn't sense anyone familiar besides Madda. He would almost surely go unrecognized. He considered sending Leighna a warning to watch her back and stay close to the Skywalker farm, but he couldn't take the risk that one of the Force-sensitives might be quick and skilled enough to catch the thought no matter how he scrambled and disguised it. He would trust in his daughter's wisdom.

But _had_ he taught her enough? Had he taught her in the right way? Or had his slide towards and into the Darkness affected her? He prayed not but knew too much about the interconnectedness of everything to have any real hope.

Maybe Qui-Gon would watch out for her; he'd hope for that.

Mind carefully shielded so that none of these thoughts could be read, he took stock of his situation one more time and then opened his eyes.

The man sitting on his chest was easily the most handsome man, in terms of simple aesthetic, that Obi-Wan had ever seen. His eyes, though, were cold, calculating; he wanted nothing more than to perform his duty and move on.

Obi-Wan might be able to use that.

He turned his head, seeking for and finding Madda. He met her gaze, spoke her language. "Hello, Lady Madda. To what do I owe this unusual reception?"

She chuckled. "Courtly, Ben, even in times like this?" She gestured around her. "This is my Pleasure Ring. You are here to entertain me. Sheft?"

The man sitting on him leaned forward and made to stroke Obi-Wan's cheek.

The former Jedi master whipped his head to the side like a snake and bit the questing fingers. He let them go, two bleeding a little, almost at once, returning his attention to Madda. "My lady, I will maim him before I allow him to touch me. The same with all these here. You know I don't approve of slavery, but we share an understanding of getting what you pay for." That was a quite liberal take on their bartering, but she had no way of knowing that he believed more in charity than the values of a miser. "I will leave only injured behind me before escaping. And I will never allow myself to be so taken again. You are too sensible to want such an unsatisfactory ending." He looked at Sheft, putting not a touch of Force-command into his voice as he reverted to Basic. "If you want me to break the chains, I will."

Sheft was nursing his fingers. "He can't get out of the chains." He spoke Basic, and when Madda replied, she did the same.

"Don't say never. Ben is more dangerous than he looks." She waved her giant arm. "Get off him. The drugs should slow him down enough for the play I want. No need to cause injury." As Sheft obeyed, she looked to Obi-Wan. "Well? Release yourself if you can."

Drugs? What drugs? He hadn't sensed anything wrong with his body. He took stock again, found nothing, and wondered if he had some natural immunity. Well, it didn't matter. If he was all right, he could make it look like he'd slipped his wrists out of the chains instead of using the Force to open them. All he had to do was move fast and make enough noise that the clicking of the chains opening and closing wouldn't be audible. He again met Madda's gaze. "Very well, Lady, but-" he opened and snapped the chains shut in a blink- "I have no interest in fighting." He stood. "The ones following your orders will have to do that."

He knew his mistake- he wasn't the one drugged- an instant too late. The Force- Dark and Light- exploded around him and he staggered, not because he wasn't strong in the Force himself but because he'd spent so long using it instead of working with it.

As one, the Force-sensitives leapt at him, determined to do no more and no less than rape his mind into insanity.

And so the second miracle began.

oOo

Anakin had just broken Alderaan's atmosphere in the borrowed ship when the Force sang with Obi-Wan's location and Obi-Wan's shocked pain. Whatever his lover had planned, it had apparently backfired.

He closed his eyes, seeking more than a direction in the Force. He craved a planet. After a moment, as he breathed through the waves of Obi-Wan's suffering, this came: _Tatooine._

Not questioning, Anakin punched in the coordinates, gave the computer time to plan the hyperspace jump, and then became invisible to the naked eye.

oOo

"Leia, will you slow _down_?"

The princess stopped, spun on her heel and glared at her mother. "Whoever he was," she whispered, "he didn't want to be recognized! You know sometimes we have to hide who we are and-"

"Yes, young lady, I'm not a fool." Her mother in all but blood crossed her arms. "You're being very childish, though. I had to say something. I didn't have a choice."

Leia shook her head. "We always have a choice!"

Her mother breezed past her. "Someday, Child, you will understand what it's like to do what you're told."

Leia stared after her mother and only kept from stamping her foot in frustration by a great force of will.

oOo

The stillness of the desert at night closed in around Leighna Kenobi the moment the sound of Luke's engine died. She stood looking in the direction he'd gone for a moment before turning for home. Her footsteps whispered on the sand and she reached out into the Force to make sure she was alone. When she was completely sure, she stopped, considered the gentle down slope of the land before her, and then did a cartwheel. At the apex of the move, she screamed, "_You drive me nuts, Obi-Wan Kenobi!_"

She came right-way up on her feet again and broke into a sprint. "You're not trying to hurt me and you're not trying to be obnoxious, but you also just don't get it! I need you to be the man you were before all the pain drove you into yourself. I need you because-" her voice hitched and she abandoned the nobler of two thoughts for the one that was truer- "I want my daddy."

Crying, she scrubbed at her face to keep her vision clear. She kept up the sprint all the way to the cave, skidding to a halt just inside as the Force made it more than obvious that she wasn't alone.

Her hand dropped to her blaster and she took a step back, searching everywhere in the almost-pitch-black of the cave. Her every sense was alive and she cursed herself, praying no one had heard her shout her father's name.

Something stirred to her right and she whirled that way, bringing up her blaster, aware that she should, by all rights, have been dead. Something was watching her and nothing she knew had mercy. "Show yourself!"

A narrow, blue glow leapt into existence, momentarily dazzling her. "It's all right. I'm not here to hurt you."

It was a man's voice with an accent she somehow recognized, but- "Drop my father's light-tool." Obi-Wan had taught her to call it that if anyone saw his or her lightsaber.

"It's called a lightsaber and it's not Obi's, it's mine," the man said. His face in the blue glow was craggy and somehow twisted, as if he'd met a sand-blaster that was meant only to make glass. "Where is he?"

"How should I know?" Was this a Sith? Was it? Her hands were slick with sweat and she felt a trembling want to start low down in all her nerve endings and just keep going until she fell to pieces. She tried to feel it the man radiated Darkness but her own fear swallowed the Force's answer.

_Aren't Sith blades supposed to be red? _The idea made it possible for her to breathe. "Who are you?"

"You're Leighna," the man said as he lowered his lightsaber. "Please, whatever you are to him, he trusts you. Tell me where he is. He needs help."

She didn't like it that she couldn't see his face anymore. "I'm getting a torch."

He lifted a hand and one of the torches near her lifted and flew to his hand. He touched something to it- he'd put his lightsaber away, which made her paradoxically more nervous- and suddenly there was too much light again.

In this new brightness, Leighna saw a tall, older man who had been burned very badly. She saw, too, that the lightsaber resting at his hip wasn't her father's. "How do you know who I am?"

"I only know your name." He was backing towards the mouth of the cave. "If you don't know where he is, I have to go. I have to find him."

She followed him, keeping her blaster pointed at him, though she wasn't sure anymore if she'd be- or if she'd been- able to fire. "Who _are_ you?" He had a speeder; she'd run right past it. She had to get some answers out of him before he reached it or she might never know if he was friend or foe.

"I'm his lover." He turned away from her and sprinted for the speeder.

"Wait!" she cried, inadvertently putting a strong Force-command into the single word.

He skidded to a halt and slowly turned to stare at her. "You're Force-sensitive." He took a step back towards her. "Who are you, Leighna?"

She bit her lip. Maybe she'd just gotten herself and her father-

_Obi. He called him Obi._

-killed. "I'm his daughter."

His jaw dropped. "No," he whispered. "He can't have been raped again." He stumbled closer. "Who's the father?"

"He's my father. My other father-"

_He called him Obi._

"-never comes…" Her mind finally caught up with her mouth. "Anakin? Anakin Skywalker?"

He hesitated, but at last nodded. "Who raped-" He, too, seemed to at last get it. "You're mine? Ours, I mean? Mine and Obi's?" His eyes looked in danger of falling out of his head. "But- but I felt you die on Mustafa. I felt it, and…" He shook his head violently. "Maybe I was too far gone to really feel… But-"

"What you felt was the death of my twin sister." Her mouth was so dry she couldn't believe she was actually able to get the words out.

"Your-" He mastered himself. "Wherever he is, Obi needs me. Maybe us. He's in danger."

She crossed her arms, glaring at him. Her father had said that Anakin respected his work in the Force, but maybe Anakin had only pretended to that respect. Like so many others who had loved Obi-Wan, she often thought she was the only one who'd ever truly understood and appreciated him. "He's strong in the Force. Nothing can take him down."

Anakin retreated a step. "We all need help sometimes. The Force is alive with his pain."

At once, she dropped the shields she hadn't even truly realized she'd put up against her father, and felt not just pain but strength. "He can do this. We've been fine without you for years."

He was touching the speeder now. "Will you come with me?"

He wasn't listening to her at all. She jogged across the sand and leapt into the speeder's passenger seat, knowing he wouldn't let her drive. "You and Qui-Gon are just the same. You don't respect him at all."

He was in the pilot's seat now and took off before replying: "Forgive me, Leighna, but whatever you think you know, you weren't there."

She scowled, showing her relationship to him in that simple expression. "I don't know where he is and neither do you, so where are we going?"

"He's in a highly-populated area. That most likely means Anchorhead or Mos Eisley. Which one does he visit more often?" Then, probably to himself, "Anchorhead, I'd bet. Obi wouldn't want to run the risk that someone might remember him from the last time he was here."

Her scowl had faded; she wasn't conscious of its passing. "I thought Jedi didn't talk to themselves."

Without any embarrassment in his voice, Anakin- she couldn't think of him as her father- said, "I've been keeping different company for awhile. Don't tell me Obi doesn't talk to himself because I know him better. In times of extreme stress, when-"

The Force rippled around them like a still pond bombarded by half a dozen small stones. The pain scratching at the back of both of their minds eased.

"See?" Leighna demanded. "He's fine." She closed her eyes, though, reaching out for her father. She hadn't done this over such a great distance, but he'd taught her that distance didn't exist in the Force so she wasn't intimidated. _Father?_

His voice came back different than she'd ever heard it, even in those few-and-far-between moments of clarity. Not just stronger, but younger. _It's all right. I'll meet you half a mile due east from Mos Eisley. _A pause. _I'm sorry I failed you in so many ways, Daughter._

He had never called her that. 'Youngling, young one, Leighna, but never… Her eyes hurt with tears and she whispered, _"You're him again, aren't you? Master Kenobi._

_Not quite, _he said. _I think there's still something for me to learn before you get here, but almost, yes. _A small smile shone in her mind. _How do you like Anakin?_

She stared at Anakin, who showed no sign of hearing their talk. _I can't think of him as my father. He doesn't even believe in you like I-_

_Peace, _he said, and though he'd told her Master Kenobi wasn't all the way back yet, she thought he was underestimating the miraculous healing.

_Can he hear you? Or me?_

_He hasn't reached out to me yet._

She felt a desert's breadth worth of emotions behind the words, but because some of her needs had at last been satisfied and she'd been granted another chance to have a real relationship with her father, both her fathers, maybe, she didn't push it. _I'll tell him where to meet you. Are you talking about the white cliffs?_

He smiled again in her mind and his voice was warm. _I am. I will see you soon, my daughter._ And he retreated into his own mind, not closing the connection but making it so she would have to work to hear his thoughts.

She retreated too, letting him alone. If he, Master Kenobi, the Negotiator, said he had one more thing to do, then that's what he had.

"How is he?" Anakin asked the moment she had come fully back to herself.

"He's fine. He said he's got one more thing to do, but he's going to meet us at this place we call the White Cliffs. They're directly west of Mos Eisley." She wasn't conscious of the change in direction she'd given him, but she was open to her father's thoughts and she knew he needed a little time.

oOo

The pitch-blackness of a deep cave was lit by a ghostly form hunched into himself, all trace of his Jedi bearing gone._"Talk to me."_

Obi-Wan sat in the glow with his eyes closed. He was conscious of his breathing as he kept himself calm, but his discarded emotions flew, again and again, into the Force. There was a cut on his left arm that ran from his wrist to his elbow. If it had been a lightsaber wound, he would have lost his arm. Lucky for him, the drugs Madda had been talking about only created a temporary Dark-Force-induced increase in her servants' Force-connections. They didn't give any of the servants the years of training he'd had. And yet, their sheer numbers and his sheer stupidity at allowing himself to grow so old had worked against him. If the second miracle had been given a title, it would have been called: _Realizing Idiocy._

"_Please," _Qui-Gon said. _"You said you're ready to talk, and even if I can't see any way you can help me out of my pain-"_

Obi-Wan opened his eyes. "I wish I could hold you," he whispered. Tears sparkled in Qui-Gon's light. "I've been trying for so long- _so long-_ to be strong all by myself that I've…" he shook his head. "Never mind. Recriminations won't help us." He stood, crossed to Qui-Gon and knelt. "When we parted, it was like ripping out stitches in a wound that was only half-healed."

"_You make it sound as though we needed to be bandaged."_ Qui-Gon paused, nodded to himself. _"So we did." _His eyes were dark pools of sorrow. _"And why, Obi-Wan? That's mostly what holds me here, I think. You can stand on your own feet now." _He sighed. _"You've been able to do that for awhile. So what was the wound?"_

"Fear? Misunderstanding?" Obi-Wan reached out, careful not to push his fingers through Qui-Gon's hands. They were almost touching, but would never touch again. He bowed his head and tried not to cry. "I still love you. Not like I once did, but…" He gave up the battle and tears filled his eyes. "If we had one more chance to turn back the clock, to feel how we did when we were together, but with the knowledge we have now…" He laughed and the tears spilled over. "A Jedi isn't supposed to engage in wishful thinking, but, Qui-Gon, if-"

"Dear Obi mine."

Obi-Wan's head snapped up. He hadn't heard those words in the Force. His jaw dropped. "Qui-Gon?" He stared at the living, breathing, thirty-something man. "What is this?" He reached out to the Force and though he wasn't given any straight answer, he felt this truth: he wasn't losing his mind.

He looked down at his hands and found them smooth and strong. He reached up and touched his hair, finding there a padawan braid. "What _is_ this?" Lifting his eyes, feeling the peace in the Force all around him, he met Qui-Gon's bewildered gaze. "You were never so young," he said, one hand drifting up to caress his once-lover's cheek. It was incredibly smooth. "Well, at least not when I looked like this." He shook his head. "We're not together anymore, but-" his body was waking as though they were. How could he say that?

"I'd say you got your 'if', Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon took the other man's free hand in both of his. "You're so beautiful. I used to fantasize about your sunset hair and sea eyes. Long before you were ready to be with me, or so it seems now. Not when you were a child, of course-" he rushed on.

"Stop." Obi-Wan touched Qui-Gon's lips with one shockingly-straight and elegant finger. His gaze dropped to his hand and he laughed. "Is this what I asked for? Us young and still in possession of our older minds? And how does that translate into how we see reality? Are we in a trance?"

Qui-Gon kissed the finger against his lips. "Does it really matter? If we have this chance…" His eyes shone with the ghost of past grief. "I'm not here to take you away from Anakin. I'm here to know what the wound was and if we can close it." He guided Obi-Wan's captured hand to his groin. He laughed weakly. "And yet, I can't seem to help myself." He closed his eyes for a moment and pressed Obi-Wan's hand still more firmly against him. "Obi mine. I don't want to force you into anything, but-"

Obi-Wan's breath caught and his hand closed around Qui-Gon. "You were the one who taught me everything, or so it seemed when I was this age. Maybe that was the problem." He looked down at his hand, hesitated, and then squeezed. "I don't want to mislead you."

It was Qui-Gon's turn: "Stop. I don't want to take you from him. Do you hear me? This is healing. This is _renewing_ and finding out. Neither of us wants to be stuck here forever, me in this between-place and you waiting for Anakin. I know he's here on Tatooine; you know it, too. This is something we need or we can't fulfill our destiny." His voice roughened. "Let go of your inhibitions, Obi-Wan; I'll do the same."

"You're nervous?"

Qui-Gon laughed. "Obi mine, I'm terrified."

Obi-Wan closed the distance, kissing him. "And we're supposed to make love to figure out what broke us apart or why we weren't meant to be together in the first place? That sounds very un-Jedi-like, Master Jinn."

"Tell me about it." Qui-Gon drew back a little. "Maybe we're-"

Obi-Wan kissed him again. "There's a piece of our history just out of reach, a piece of our healing that we can finally have. Why not end as we began?"

"We didn't start out making love, Obi mine. We first confessed-"

"I told you I loved you when I was fourteen. The real start of everything was under the B'yrch trees."

"What about Anakin?"

Obi-Wan pressed his palm over Qui-Gon's erection again. Said nothing.

"Obi mine-" Qui-Gon panted.

"I'm about twenty-five, but still with my padawan braid. An impossibility. You're, what, thirty? Maybe part of our problem was the huge age difference." He kissed Qui-Gon. "Embrace it. We can know so much of what made us who we were and what made us the strong men we now are: knowing our weaknesses and stronger because of that fact. Please, Qui-Gon?"

His once-lover shuddered. "Obi mine." He laughed. "Seems that's all I can say." And it was his turn to close the distance.

oOo

"Obi mine." It truly was all he could say, especially with Obi-Wan's scent- fresh linen and that special almost-taste that was Obi-Wan's own- making him half-drunk with a need deeper than lust. It had been too long since he'd had Obi-Wan to himself.

"No," he whispered, his thoughts passing easily into speech. "I never got to have you like this: as equals. That was my fault and yours."

Obi-Wan kissed him as if the offensive words didn't sting him at all. Maybe they didn't since he'd grown so much more quickly than Qui-Gon had.

"There's another part to it," Qui-Gon said, pulling back. "I'm bitter and jealous." He sighed. "I've come so far and-"

Obi-Wan yanked him into a soul-kiss. His hands were suddenly, shockingly, up under Qui-Gon's tunic. Somehow, the older man had lost his belt. "And now we have a chance to fix it."

"With sex?" He deliberately used the crudest word he could lay tongue to.

Obi-Wan's eyes shone like gens. "Why not?" He laughed and stepped back. "This is our chance, Qui-Gon: our chance to heal, to be whole. Why not take it?"

"But how exactly is sex going to-"

Obi-Wan grinned. "I've gotten the answer at last. All it took was so many years and so much pain and joy that I can't believe I lived through it all." He shook his head, maybe in wonder. "Your turn to figure it out, Master mine." He held out a hand.

Qui-Gon couldn't move. "What lesson, Obi mine? Teach me please."

"It's not something you're going to like and I'm not sure me telling you would help in any case." Obi-Wan stripped off his tunic over his head. His muscles were firm, beautiful, worthy of a statue.

Qui-Gon thought he might actually be on the brink of drooling. He swallowed twice until he was sure he wouldn't embarrass himself. "Us doing this will help me?" He was so hard he wasn't sure he'd be able to take a step comfortably. "And what of Anakin? You're betraying him."

"No. It's not like that. I wanted us as we once were, and with our knowledge? I've gotten it. What we do here, now, has nothing to do with time. My heart, so much as it is filled with love for you, is still filled with love for Anakin. You know a heart cannot be too full, Master mine. You've always known it." He pushed down his trousers and stepped out of them, shaking his boots after them.

Qui-Gon moaned and ran his tongue out over his bottom lip. He needed to taste Obi-Wan. "Now you're talking riddles. Be straight with me. Please."

Obi-Wan stroked himself, once, but an intensity had replaced the teasing in his gaze. "Qui-Gon, the Force isn't everything."

Of all things his once-lover could have said, this had never been in Qui-Gon's mind. He stared, speechless, his need to jump Obi-Wan wrestling with astonishment and a sense of sacrilege. _No. He's not saying this. Or am I trapped by the Dark Force in some insane dream?_

"The Force is an energy field created by all living and non-living things. People, trees, rocks, buildings. We've known this for centuries. We've created a religion, almost, around it. Every master teaches his padawan what he believes to be the truth of the Force. But like so many oral traditions, that meaning and belief changes from generation to generation as each Jedi struggles to find out what the Force is for him." He strode closer and tugged down Qui-Gon's trousers.

Qui-Gon moaned in relief. "Obi-"

"Sh." Obi-Wan kissed him. Then, drawing back, he sank to his knees before Qui-Gon. "I need you defenseless. That's why we're here. Like this." He kissed Qui-Gon's stomach, then lower. "I need you defenseless, as I was when the truth finally came to me."

"How-how can you be sure it's truth?" His knees were going to give out. He swayed, struggling to stay up, to exert his mind over his body's needs. "Maybe it's only another misunderstanding."

Another kiss to that most sensitive spot. "The evidence is in the life I've been leading on Tatooine, in the ruin that is my physical body and the exhaustion that has drenched my spirit. You will see it, too, and then you will be allowed to rest."

Qui-Gon moaned as Obi-Wan took him in his mouth.

oOo

In the afterglow of pleasure, drowsing towards sleep, Obi-Wan kept himself firmly on the brink, refusing to give up these last few minutes that he would have with Qui-Gon. Softly, he spoke the other man's name.

"Hmm?" came the velvety purr he'd often dreamed of from the age of sixteen onward.

Obi-Wan snuggled closer but stared at Qui-Gon's chest, memorizing it. "Don't sleep. I need to know if you understand now."

"That the Force is Dark and Light, can be used to heal or to cure, and that it can influence us if we let our true nature influence us, but that it's an energy field?" Qui-Gon chuckled and ran his fingers through Obi-Wan's hair. "Yes, Obi-Wan, I understand." Some of the sleepiness had evaporated from his voice. "And you were right: the sex helped."

Obi-Wan laughed, sat up, met Qui-Gon's gaze. "Are you sure that's not just your body talking?"

"I've learned a thing or two about how to help people lower their defenses." Qui-Gon sat up, too, and took Obi-Wan's hand in his. "I just never thought to do it that way." He stood, drawing Obi-Wan to his feet. Naked still, he pulled Obi-Wan against him in an embrace that had nothing to do with sex. Well, almost nothing. "I'll miss you until you come to this side of reality." He placed a soft kiss on Obi-Wan's forehead.

They were growing insubstantial to each other; their bodies didn't quite touch, but seemed to flow together. "I'll miss you, too. Are you at peace now?"

Qui-Gon kissed him again, this time on the cheek, and Obi-Wan accepted the truth in his once-lover's eyes: he was finally ready to cross over.

"Forget I asked," he said to the ghost. "I'll see you soon."

"Yes, Obi-Wan, you will."

And Qui-Gon, at last, was truly resting.

Obi-Wan stood alone in the cave. He breathed for a moment, coming into his true strength for only the second or third time in his life, and whispered, "May the Force be with you." In the silence, he heard no reply; he left the cave with a wide smile on his face.

oOo

Anakin glared at the child who claimed to be his. She was barely a child now, but he refused to think of her as anything else. True, she had talked to Obi-Wan; he'd felt that. True, her love for Obi-Wan was completely unfeigned. But he couldn't quite reconcile this child with what he'd felt on Mustafa. And even if he'd been able to do that, he wanted to think of her as not of his blood because she was infuriating him.

"He's not here," he growled, meeting her less-than-innocent gaze. "Why are you trying to confuse me and keep us apart?"

"none of your business." Her eyes flashed. Her eyes were nothing like Obi's.

"I will find him with or without your help."

She nodded but stayed in the speeder beside him. She had turned her gaze to the cliffs. The empty cliffs. "That's fine. He'll probably finish whatever he had to do and meet us halfway."

Anakin reined in his frustration only because it wasn't doing him any good. "What did he have to do?"

"One last thing. I don't know what it was." She laughed, seemingly unaware of his annoyance and worry. "But he's Obi-Wan Kenobi again. That's all I care about."

"And what if he needs help again?"

She grimaced at him before looking up at the cliffs once more. "He got out of the last thing just fine. He's not weak and he's not-"

_Are you two going to argue until the fall of the Empire or are you going to come home?_

Anakin turned halfway around in his seat before he realized the voice was in his head. "Obi!" And, safely in his mind, though surely his lover could hear it and probably Leighna could too: _Obi Obi Obi! _he cried like an enraptured youngling.

_I've miss you too, Anakin. _A warm chuckle. _Come home. Back to the cave you discovered._ A pause, and then, to Leighna: _Qui-Gon has passed on. He found his peace at last. _Another pause. _As I have. Thank you for dealing with me all these years, my precious child. I love you._

Leighna grinned, her pleasure rippling in the Force, but sent no words. At least to her papa. "Get us home!" she ordered Anakin.

He was already revving the engine and in a moment they were racing over the dunes.

Five minutes later, they were at the cave. Home, as his Obi had called it. And now that he wasn't half-insane with worry, Anakin could see the little touches, even outside the cave, that Obi-Wan had added to make the cave a safer place for himself and his- their? Really their?- daughter. Camouflage that most wouldn't know to look for. Protections against animals, the Tusken Raiders and the Sand People.

Obi-Wan stood at the entrance to the cave, but he was hidden in shadow. Anakin saw him first in the Force, then when the man raised his hand. "Come all the way in," called a sand-roughened voice. "I don't want anyone to see the speeder."

Anakin nudged his way in, settling into the middle of the vast main room as Obi-Wan closed the camouflage behind him, hiding them all quite well.

Leighna rocketed from the speeder before the engine was even quiet and Anakin had a moment of stunned joy as she leapt into Obi-Wan's arms and he spun her around, kissing her hair and shedding joyful tears.

He followed a little more slowly, not because he wanted to but because there was no denying that Leighna was Obi's daughter. She was so like him in ways that had nothing to do with appearance that Anakin's heart ached to think that she'd been in his company all this time and he hadn't enjoyed being with her.

When Obi-Wan set her down, they just gazed at each other for a long breath, as if they had been apart for years. Remembering what Leighna had said about Obi-Wan being back, Anakin wondered if they had been. But Obi-Wan would never lave Tatooine, would he? Never, at least not when there was Luke to protect.

Anakin's thoughts turned to his son for a moment, but then Leighna was stepping back reluctantly. There was a moment of all-stop, then Leighna pushed Obi-Wan towards Anakin. "Go on. I know you want to." She headed for the door. "I won't go far. Just to the Skywalker farm. I'll be careful. And I won't be back until dawn."

Obi-Wan's eyes were shining, but he turned from Anakin for another moment. "Be careful. Be mindful of the Force. With Anakin here now, there's an even greater chance we'll be discovered." He paused. "Especially since I've taken down the shields I should have never erected in the first place. They are… much of the reason I'm so old."

Anakin absorbed this, confused, but not really caring, at least for this one moment, but Leighna only nodded.

"I will be mindful," she said. She offered them- no, Obi- a Jedi's bow. Then she was outside, leaving them alone together.

Anakin leapt across the intervening space, not caring for the first time in years about how his injuries slowed him when he was first waking or when he moved the wrong way, not caring, as Obi-Wan came into the light, that his lover had aged almost beyond belief. He only wanted-

Ah, but then he had Obi-Wan in his arms and gave up on thought. He clung to his lover, not kissing him, barely breathing, only loving the sensation of Obi-Wan back in his arms again.

He was trembling; that was the first sensory input to reach his brain through the shock of joy. But then he realized he wasn't the only one and he let it go as Obi-Wan- how did he find the strength?- began raining light kisses up along his jaw and over his scarred cheek.

_I've missed you._

Who thought that? Anakin didn't know and didn't care. He fought a little of the haziness and sent, _I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and as long as I live, so will my love. _This thought crashed into one from his lover: _I am yours. In all ways, for all time, through all pain, I was, am, and remain yours._

"You're so beautiful," Obi-Wan whispered scarcely a moment later.

Anakin laughed and hugged Obi-Wan closer still. "I'm a scarred mess."

"You're my beloved. You _are_ beautiful." The kisses continued, firm as they were gentle, just like they'd always been.

"You're not afraid of hurting me when I look like this?" Obviously not, but if his Obi wanted to make pointless conversation, Anakin would oblige.

Obi-Wan laughed, his breath tickling Anakin's ear, bringing the first flare of arousal. "No more than you're afraid of breaking my old man's bones." He ran his tongue up to Anakin's ear and suckled there. "I knew you'd come. I just wish I'd known when."

"Wouldn't that spoil the surprise?"

Obi-Wan nipped him, and then rubbed against him, a hard, long, firm grind. "_Fuck_ surprises!"

And before Anakin could do more than feel the first instant of surprise at hearing such a vulgar word come from his beloved's sweet mouth, Obi-Wan yanked him towards one wall, and the bed that waited there.

oOo

Anakin's fingers were running through his hair and Obi-Wan sighed in complete contentment. "Don't stop," he murmured from the depths of some safe, exhausted, joyous place.

"I thought I was the impetuous one." Anakin laughed, his chest rumbling under Obi-Wan's ear. "But that four times in two hours wasn't all my fault."

"I'll take responsibility for half," Obi-Wan answered as he set to licking Anakin's nipple.

Groaning, Anakin swatted his shoulder. "If you do that, we'll have to go again."

Obi-Wan laughed, almost delirious with joy, and kept his tongue moving.

Anakin hissed and twisted, pushing himself against Obi-Wan's lips. "I need you. I'll always need you. But don't we have to talk?"

"We'll talk when Leighna gets back. She deserves to be a part of what we'll discuss. For now…" He rolled on top of Anakin and refused to say anything else.

oOo

They would want each other again soon, but it was almost dawn. That meant not only that Leighna would be returning but that they had to do a tiny bit of talking before she arrived. No matter what Obi-Wan had said, there _were _things they had to discuss just between the two of them. And so, after they had showered- the cave was almost as comfortable as their rooms at Temple had once been- and dressed, they settled before a small fire and Obi-Wan began to make tea while Anakin watched. His mouth watered as he remembered Obi-Wan's tea.

Or maybe it was watering for other reasons. His lover was, after all, going without a tunic. He'd refused one when Anakin offered, saying that it had been too long since he'd had a reason to be half-naked for his lover. Anakin, who had dressed in deference to Leighna's nearing arrival, didn't argue.

Enjoying the view or not, he began with the sad news. "Fregala is all but dead. Prince Yeneluk has passed."

Obi-Wan nodded as he sifted tea leaves into two strainers. "I felt it." Tears gleamed in the firelight. "I didn't grieve then; I was too deep in my own pain. He was always so good to the Jedi. To Qui-Gon. And to me."

"He took good care of me. I wish I had shown him better respect." Anakin closed his eyes for a moment, releasing his regret into the Force. "He still thought of you often, and he could tell that you and I are close."

Obi-Wan moved slowly, as if he was stiff. "He was always sensitive in a way that had nothing to do with the Force. I think that's why he and Qui-Gon got along so well."

Anakin caught one of his lover's hands after Obi-Wan had set both cups aside. "Are you in pain?"

Obi-Wan smiled like a blooming flower. "I'm not as young as I used to be, and I don't think we ever quite managed five times in three hours."

"Two and a half."

"My point exactly." He covered Anakin's hand with his own, warming the younger man all the way through. "I will be all right. Don't worry. Please."

Anakin nodded, freed his hand and cupped Obi-Wan's cheek. "You're beautiful, too, you know."

"Thank you, Beloved." Obi-Wan blinked, his smile turning a little sad, and then he took his hands back so he could rise. "I'll be right back," he said when Anakin started to follow. "I know where the bread is and you don't. Stay put."

Anakin turned to watch him, ready to help if Obi-Wan needed it. And so he saw Obi-Wan use the Force to open several containers and lift out bread, plates, knives and spreadable cream. "What happened to not doing that with the Force which you can do with your own hands?"

Obi-Wan turned towards him, everything floating serenely before him. "I'll be the first to admit I was occasionally a stick in the mud." He sat, and everything settled within easy reach.

"Is it because your hands hurt?" Anakin asked, feeling guilty because of the talented things Obi-Wan have been doing with those hands less than an hour ago.

"A little," his lover admitted. "But enough about my stiffness. It's earned, trust me, and I don't regret it in the least." He began pouring boiling water over the tea leaves. "You have more sad news for me, I think."

"I could never hide much from you."

"True." Obi-Wan hit him in the shoulder with a hunk of bread that Anakin, distracted by the flicker of the flames, hadn't been looking for. "Don't forget your Jedi training, ex padawan mine, and quit stalling."

Anakin didn't hesitate more; they really needed to talk all of this out as soon as possible. "Mace is dead. After he lost his connection to the Force, his injuries became unhealable. If that's even a word." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "He was in terrible pain all the time. Yoda was trying to shield him from much of it, but finally Mace said that if he kept doing that, Dark Force users would be drawn to them." He sighed. "And much as I hate it, it's true. The Dark Side is growing stronger daily."

"No." Obi-Wan picked up his cup. "The Empire is getting stronger. There's a difference between the two that you must not forget."

"But if the Dark Side is controlled by Palpatine-"

"It's not. He's a user like all the others, but he doesn't rule any part of the Force. No one can." He was staring into the fire. "Since you last saw me, Beloved, I have done much that I'm not proud of, and the greatest of those sins is thinking that I could make the Force do what I wanted without paying a price." He gestured at himself, then touched his face, bringing Anakin's attention to his wrinkled cheek. "This is what I've reaped for my foolishness. Please remember the difference between owning and using. And that controlling is using in another form. No one owns the Force." He sipped the tea. "I want you to learn that by example so you don't have to learn it the hard way."

Anakin shook his head and tried to laugh it off. "I'm already burned. How much worse could aging be? It's not like anyone will see _my _wrinkles."

Obi-Wan chuckled; the beautiful, rich sound hadn't changed. "Yes, well, age comes with stiffness of hands that would rather play from dawn to dusk. That would bother you, I think." His smile fled. "How was Yoda when you left? And what of Woda?"

"Woda's a pirate now. He's…" Anakin shook his head. "He's still connected to the Force, but it's only one of a dozen tools he has. Tools isn't quite the right word, since he works with the Force instead of using it, but that's the closest I can think of. We've spent more time apart than together. I only started working with him a short time ago. I've been many years on deserted worlds, relearning how to move with this strange, burned body of mine." He paused, thinking of his papa. "Yoda is still alive, so far as I know, but it was hard for him to let Mace die." He paused again. "Or maybe he helped Mace pass. I don't know for sure. I know only he would've rather anything than know Mace was suffering."

Obi-Wan chewed a bit of bread and nodded. "I heard once that the great indignity is not how we die but that we die. I don't necessarily believe that, but at times like this…" He straightened his shoulders. "I should tell you about Luke."

Anakin shook his head. "I'll meet him someday. I don't want any preconceptions. It's bad enough that I'm already expecting certain things from him. How did Owen and Beru take to the news that they were being given a nephew to take care of?"

"Owen will never love the Jedi, but Beru is still a gentle spirit. And Owen loves Luke; that's clear even when he's furious with me." Obi-Wan set aside the rest of the bread he'd been holding in one old man's beautiful hand. His face had become like a graven image. "Anakin, you are still the Chosen One."

Anakin nodded, confused. "I know."

"But Luke may also be the Chosen One. It may be for him that we've waited: a combination of your power and his might be what's needed. I don't speak prophesy but only what may be. I want you to remain open to that idea. All right?"

"I'm not the same stubborn ass who almost died on Mustafa, Obi. I promise I'm not."

"I know." Obi-Wan closed his eyes. "I guess part of the reason I'm saying it is because I'm worried about the rest of what we have to talk about and want to avoid it." He chuckled. "Same old Jedi mind-tricks, played on myself now instead of others."

Trying to hide his wince and surely failing- Obi-Wan seemed as keen-eyed as ever- Anakin rose and walked around the fire. He lowered himself with another wince to the cave floor and took Obi-Wan's hands. "Annie?"

"Annie. And the Kenobi Curse, though I don't know what harm or good it might do us, only that Annie surely hasn't gone all this time without trying to have a child of her own flesh and blood."

"She can't carry a child," Anakin said reasonably, though his blood ran cold.

"Neither could Sidious and that didn't stop him." Obi-Wan's hands were chilly as if he'd been holding a glass of ice. "But don't underestimate the Kenobi Curse, Anakin; it's real, it's genetic, and it's so powerful no Kenobi has resisted it in the last two hundred years."

"How do you know that?"

"I've bought or hacked my way into many databases since Leighna and I came to live here. You taught me an awful lot in that regard, you know." But despite his amused tone, his hands remained half-frozen in Anakin's own. "Sometimes the Curse was pure: a mother or father of my line wanting to fill their house with as many children as possible. But it's been polluted often: my own parents are only an example."

"How could it remain so pure when your bloodline has been mixed with so many others?"

"Sometimes first cousins or even siblings married, but that was rare. Mostly it was because the Curse is part of such a powerful set of genes, the same ones that have given my family auburn hair and green-blue eyes since time out of mind. They gave us our medium height, too." He chuckled, but it fell flat between them.

Anakin squeezed his hands. "Stop trying to make light of this. I can take intensity and truth without that."

"So you can. You've done your own growing since we parted. Forgive me. The legends- substantiated by no more than hearsay and logic mixed with a sentient being's craving for the extreme- say that a geneticist created the Kenobi Curse because once my line was the ruling family of not just my home world but a thousand besides. This was long before the Galactic Republic. But my line was dying out, due to war and plague, and an insidious radiation that destroyed everyone's craving for sex. So the Kenobi Curse was born, called 'the saving of the Ke-he-non-bis, which is what my great-great grandfather's surname was before he decided to change it to be easier for off-worlders to pronounce.

"And now Annie has been infected by the same."

"So has Leighna," Anakin pointed out, hating himself the moment he said it. "I'm sorry. That was cruel."

"But true. And I don't mind. Delicacy is beyond us, or should be, with time so short. What I'm concerned about is that we'll be facing more than Sidious and Vader: We'll be facing her baby, now grown in the Dark Force and strong."

Anakin at first couldn't think of what to say, but finally a question surfaced. "But she was set on creating another Reeft. Wouldn't that keep her from feeling the Kenobi Curse? She wanted Reeft back so badly, a Reeft that would be loyal to her."

"She'd only craved that for a short time and it was an emotional craving, not a physical one." Obi-Wan gripped Anakin's hand with both of his. "Hear what I'm saying, Anakin: the Kenobi Curse will not be denied. And if she can't have children from her own womb, she will have found a way to have them by someone else."

"But then they wouldn't be her children. Unless…" He scooted closer and dropped his voice subconsciously. "Do you think she'll come after you to impregnate you again?"

"It's possible, but I think she would have done so already if she could have. And I can't see her patience going this long. No, I think she found the only other Kenobi alive and impregnated her."

Anakin's stomach clenched. "Leighna?"

Obi-Wan laughed humorlessly. "Never while I still have breath in my body. No, my mother."

"But, if the Kenobis are driven to have children, how could she be the only one left?"

"War. Plague. Sadistic tendencies. My parents killed many children before they got me. Because those children didn't look the way they wanted."

"So… What can we do about it?" _Or, since I'm the Chosen One, with or without Luke's help: _"What can _I _do about it?"

"Nothing now, but we need to be ready for one more threat. Maybe not; there's a chance the child will either not be Force-sensitive- which doesn't render him powerless by any means- or, ideally, a free thinker with a conscience."

"Not likely," Anakin muttered.

Obi-Wan stood. He moved slowly but still with the grace Anakin remembered. "Exactly."

Anakin, too, found his feet. "Is Leighna coming?"

The door slid open and Leighna strode in like a commander onto her battle bridge. "I'm ready for breakfast. Meeting two strangers in one night's too much for me."

"Two?" Obi-Wan asked even as he tossed her a piece of bread.

Blushing faintly, she caught it deftly. "I met Luke. Saved him from some Tusken Raiders. I tried to just use the kryat howl, like you taught me."

Anakin realized he was listening to Leighna being intimidated by a fierce look from Obi-Wan that had worked on him a time or two.

"But his landspeeder was damaged and I didn't want him to get caught. He doesn't know who I am, except my first name, and he doesn't know anything about you or-" she glanced at Anakin, but for only a moment, as if she didn't dare look away from her papa for too long- "his father. He thinks you're a fighter pilot, by the way," she added, shooting another quick look at Anakin, "and he thinks you're probably dead."

"It's not time yet," Obi-Wan said, and only then did Anakin realize he'd taken two steps towards the door that would lead outside. "Luke will come to us."

"How do you know?" Leighna asked, beating Anakin to it.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I just do."

"The Force?" she asked.

Obi-Wan smiled. "We have to talk about that. I've learned more about what exactly the Force is recently. Call what I feel intuition and that will be closer to the truth." He gestured to a place by the fire. "Come eat. There's still a little more to talk about before we return to waiting."

Anakin hesitated, not sure how much affection he could show his Obi in front of their daughter. It was so _strange_ to have a daughter, here, right in front of him.

Obi-Wan came to him and took his hand. "You, too," he said with the gentle, teasing smile that he'd always used when Anakin was being too tense or hesitant about something.

oOo

"How much credence do you hold in the Kenobi Curse?" Leighna asked as she and Anakin observed what she called 'the Skywalker farm' and Anakin called his mother's house. The hour was just before noon; they might be seen, but Obi-Wan had sent them here 'to check on Luke, just in case." Leighna hadn't been sure about Anakin, but when her father gave her the out, she took it because she needed to be somewhere outside so she could think. Everything he'd told them… It all made her skin feel too tight.

Anakin- her other father- frowned, his burned cheek crinkling in a way that made her afraid he was in pain all the time. "I learned a long time ago not to doubt Obi when he's passionate about something."

"But he admitted he was wrong about the Force, so couldn't he be wrong about…."

Anakin turned towards her. "Come on. Let's go for a walk. Everything's all right here."

She sensed he was doing this because he was going to talk, maybe tell her something her other father hadn't. So she followed him down the dune and towards home. They walked very slowly, but before they had taken more than a dozen steps he began to speak.

"Did Obi ever tell you about his parents?"

She thought about the little she'd heard earlier that morning. It had given her a chill to hear just the little he'd mentioned in passing. "No."

"Well, I will because I think you need to hear it but I don't think he needs to relive it. Even if he is healed and has made peace with his past."

They walked; he spoke, telling her those things he'd learned from Obi-Wan directly, from files at Temple, and those things he suspected. He didn't know about Sidious's involvement in Obi-Wan losing much of his Force-sensitivity, but he told her he thought the Dark Side was involved in it, and that, though he agreed with Obi-Wan that the Force was an energy field, he also thought it was at least partially intelligent, influenced by the beings who fed into it. When he was done, he asked, seemingly a little reluctantly, if she had any questions.

She did, but only one, and it was one he couldn't really answer: how had her father survived? So she said, "No. He's all right now. That's what's important." And then she asked a question she wasn't sure he could answer, but one that she wanted to get as many answers for as possible. "Will you be with us when we take Luke to complete whatever his destiny is?"

He considered that, eating up fifty steps or more with thought. "I really want to be here, and I can't imagine going anywhere without Obi again. Or you," he faltered. "I meant without either of you."

"You meant without him," she said, "but that's okay. It's not like you even knew of my existence before yesterday and you've loved him for _years._" Suddenly caught by an idea, she said, "I won't ever get married or risk having sex with anyone. If the Kenobi Curse is real, I don't want any part of it."

"If the Kenobi Curse is real, I don't think you'll have a choice," he said. But then he smiled. "Though if anyone can resist a Curse, it's you. You're so much Obi's daughter it makes my heart sing." He laughed. "That sounds ridiculous, but it's true."

"I look like you," she pointed out, glad to stop talking about the Kenobi Curse. If it_ was_ true, and not even her father could resist it, she wasn't sure she'd last even a day. She hoped she never met any boy she was even half-interested in. Maybe she could have some kind of surgery so she'd never be able to have children…

Anakin nodded. "Yeah, I know." He looked sad, or maybe worried. "How did he handle that, you looking-"

The Force exploded and at once she threw up a shield to hide herself. She wasn't excellent at it, not even half as good as her father, but before the shield went up completely she sensed that maybe she was better at hiding in the Force than Anakin.

And then, in her mind (and probably in Anakin's, too) her father spoke. _Stay where you are. She's passing by._

Leighna shivered and drew more deeply into herself.

After a very long moment, she felt Anakin's hand on her shoulder and she looked at him. He wasn't pale, but resolute, as if he'd known this battle was coming and that he'd be ready for it when it came.

_Stay where you are,_ her father sent again. _It's not time yet._

Leighna met Anakin's gaze, wondering if he'd obey as she wanted to, or if he would be like the Anakin of her father's stories and run off to confront the Darkness facing them.

Anakin drew back from her, and then sat down in the sand and closed his eyes just like he was meditating. She joined him but didn't reach out to the Force, except for that which was inside her. Whatever was happening-

_She is passing by._

-she wasn't going to risk revealing her location, her father's, or Luke's. Somehow, in a way she thought she'd never quite understand, Luke was going to put an end to the Empire and restore balance to the Force. Not put the Jedi back on top- that wasn't true balance- but bring the Jedi back? Maybe. At the very least, begin the rebuilding of hope.

Gradually, the Force eased in her mind; she could think of no other way to say it.

_She's gone. Come home. Quickly. We've been too long in one place._

She was up and running at once, Anakin close beside her.


End file.
